#given fanwork

[ajwinter-is-a-nerd]

Deadman's Stand In

A Given Fan Fiction

Okay, so I have been extremely sick this week and watched Given and read the manga and have not yet recovered from the intense level of angst I feel from this show. So I wrote a fanfiction to help me deal with some of my unresolved feelings.

Summary:

Post anime, within the final chapters of the Manga.

Uenoyama deals with the fact that he doesn’t feel like his own person. His friendships and relationship currently revolve around him being a shadow of who Yuki used to be.

This FF focuses on Uneoyama's hurt that I didn't feel were acknowledged enough. The feelings of inadequacy, of being second strung, and just so fucking hurt that you can’t figure out what to do because the person you love won’t talk to you and… who do you have left?

Charcoal clouds covered the night sky, their dull grey reflected in glacier blue eyes. If he stared intently enough, perhaps he’d see the reminiscent twinkle of a far off star. 

His forlorn sigh fogged up the glass before him. With a click of his tongue he let out a wry laugh. The irony of the ghost-like image was not lost on his train of thoughts. Blowing on the glass, he enlarged the opaquing white. 

Before he wrote his message onto glass, his phone started buzzing once again. Dejected, he decided he should finally answer it. 

“Dude, are you okay?” Haruki forever played the role of band mother. 

“I was just about to head to bed. Why?” Uenoyama forced his throat to swallow the growl that was clawing at the surface.

“This new song… it… are you and Mafuyu… okay?” 

Uenoyama knew that the first line of worry would be the band. It was his and Mafuyu’s promise going into it, of course. They knew there would be problems, but they’d get through them together. Or, so he thought.

The reality, though, is everytime Uenoyama struggles, with himself or in the relationship, Mafuyu pulls away. He doesn’t know where to turn to, who to talk to. All of his friends are Mafuyu’s friends now too, and they might be even worse, at times.

“We’re the same as last week.” Uenoyama squeaked his finger through the lingering blur of white. “As far as I know, at least.” 

“I’m just saying… this song… it’s, it’s amazing!” 

Uenoyama could practically see Haruki frantically waving his hands, as if his own words had lit a fire before his face.

“Were you and Akihiko able to layer your parts then?” Uenoyama assumed that they would organize it together. They basically lived and breathed each other, Uenoyama doubted Haruki even hit play before sharing an earbud with his boyfriend. It must be nice to be connected to someone like that. 

“Oh, uh, Akihiko is working on his part right now… but it’s… do you think Mafuyu will want to sing to this beat? Isn’t it usually, um, backwards? From how you guys usually do it? Has he started his la-la-la’s and udon noo-oodles yet?” 

“It can be a demo or an extra track. I don’t… I don’t really want him to know about this one, okay?” Uenoyama clenched his eyes shut, the reality blinding. “At least not until it’s done.”

“NO! You two aren’t breaking up are you? What happened?! I told you this would happen! Ugh what were we thinking?” His voice trailed to a muffled mumble.

“We’re the same as last week, I already told you.” Uenoyama breathed against the window pane to reanimate his colouring board. 

“You both seem off…” 

“Are you coming to my show?” Uenoyama diverted courses. He didn’t want to talk about his relationship anymore. A part of him hoped he could actually just discuss music with Haruki, but nothing’s ever quite that easy. 

“Yeah, of course.” There was a distant sadness that carried through the phone. 

“Is Mafuyu coming with you?” Uenoyama cursed his chest for the sudden spike in his heart rate.

He always held onto the hope that Mafuyu would come, would take initiative to mend what keeps falling into oblivion. 

“Oh, I - uh - I don’t know?”

But he never does.

“Wouldn’t you know, Uenoyama?”

Because as much as Mafuyu sees fragments of his reflection. 

“Hello?”

Uenoyama can never be Yuki.

-

Tears dotted the page as he focused on the missing pieces. Of course Hiiragi would ask him to finish the song. He has the one piece that the others don’t. 

He’s writing about the man he loves.

From the inspiration of a lost soul. 

Uenoyama might have been able to say no, but he didn’t want to risk losing this gig. In reality, probably the only reason they brought him on was because of his relationship with Mafuyu. They’ve told him between jokes and sets how much he reminds them of Yuki.

So he keeps his head down. And he keeps writing. It’s not hard to see what Yuki saw in him. His sparkling eyes that soak in the world around him. So fragile yet so insurmountable at the same time. He just wishes that the first time he brought these words to paper, they could really be played from his heart. 

Instead they go through the filter of what Yuki would have thought. How he would have sang. 

Uenoyama spent countless hours researching the man and the music. 

Mafuyu only ever looks at Uenoyama like that when he plays guitar.

Those must be the moments he’s most reminded of Yuki.

-

No matter the season, the sun basks through the windows, warming the platform of the stairs. Uenoyama collapses towards the surface, his body starting to fail him. His brain is fogged, his movements languid, even his breath is raspy. 

The crashing descent from his knees to his hips, to his chest, is barely noticed as his body lingers in the first stage of sleep.

His brain has been on overdrive, writing Yuki’s love song. Part of him hopes that Mafuyu will hear it and finally see Uenoyama through the shards. But that doubt fuelled the rhythm of the song in Haruki’s possession. 

In all likelihood, it was the blend of writing, waiting, and unyielding loneliness that created the concoction of his exhausted state. Not the added half an hour cramming for the test that he’d told himself it was.

As his mind fell deeper into sleep, he could hear Mafuyu’s laugh. Uenoyama squinted to make out the words that started to leave his lips. The sentence was distorted, but the message was clear. ‘I love you’. 

Uenoyama woke in a jolt of sweat, his breath whistling out of his throat. 

“Are you okay?” The voice was as distorted as his vision as tears fell without regard, while his chest heaved in rhythm. “Uenoyama? R-Ritsuka?”

Mayfuyu’s voice sliced through the delirium. 

Uenoyama assumed he must still be dreaming. Sobbing, he dropped his forehead to the ground, and let the pain fall through him. Down to his very toes. Everything hurt.

A gentle hand stroked his hair, but it didn’t stop the pain. Somehow, the realization that this was reality, only made the pain worse.

Is love always this lonely? 

-

I walk the path paved for someone else

Echoes 

Of adoration and laughter

Beloved by all 

Echoes of scars

Against my skin 

Echoes of lips

Stained by tears 

I live as a dead man’s stand in 

“Wh-what is this?” Mafuyu looked up from his phone screen. 

Uenoyama’s brow furrowed as he looked up at his boyfriend then back to Haruki, who’s face set ablaze.

“What?” Uenoyama’s back straightened, as if he already knew the answer. He was carefully setting his guitar beside him, preparing for a fight, a cry, or simply to escape.

“I’m sorry, I - oh no.” Haruki’s voice turned to gravel as he muffled his lips into the palm of his hand.

“Is this… is this how you feel, Uenoyama?” Mafuyu’s eyes teared, his fingers trembled around his phone. 

“I- I’m so sorry!” Uenoyama collapsed to his knees, but Mafuyu was already leaving.

Whenever Mafuyu left it felt as if his heart was being torn out of his chest. But how can you lose someone you never truly had?

-

The spotlights burned his skin as the crowd roared. He prayed that Mafuyu was there. Maybe then he’d understand. He poured his soul into Yuki’s song. For Mafuyu could have his goodbye… so that Mafuyu could have another moment with the one he loved.

Sweat beaded down Uenoyama’s brow as his heart lit aflame. Nothing else mattered. At this moment, on stage, he let out every sour emotion and fragment of dread to burn under the stage lights.

-

Mafuyu ran backstage, headed directly to Uenoyama who slouched happily in his seat. Before Uenoyama could react to the rehead’s presence, Mafuyu gripped the man’s collar in his fist and yelled a proclamation towards him. “I want to sing! And make music with you!”

Uenoyama’s heart pounded in his ears. Did this mean he forgave him? Or was it a shadow of feelings left lingered from Yuki’s song?

“For the rest of my life!” Mafuyu added, the words louder than the amps had been during Uenoyama’s show. 

“Huh?” Uenoyama was lost for words. The battle of mediocrity played in his head as Mafuyu stared into him. Was he honestly seeing him? 

“I promise.” Mafuyu’s grip continued to twist at Uenoyama’s black shirt.

“Sorry… come again?” Uenoyama stammered; he couldn’t comprehend the reasoning behind Mafuyu’s actions. Was he forgiving Uenoyama? Was he apologizing for the distance? Why can’t anything just be clear?!

“I will never let you regret it!” 

The collar on Uenoyama’s shirt threatened to strangle him.

Mafuyu’s eyes were intense, his chest heaving while he kept his face inches from Uenoyama’s. 

“Hold it right there!” Hiiragi screamed. “You… what do you think you’re doing in someone’s dressing room dropping - like - a proposal?” 

Uenoyama met Mafuyu’s weeping eyes. For once, he truly believed, they only saw him. 

“You came.” Uenoyama ignored Hiiragi, speaking to Mafuyu with soft words. His hands worked of their own accord, reaching out for Mafuyu.

“Of course, of course I did.” Tears ran freely as Mafuyu held Uenoyama’s hand against his flushed cheek. 

Biting his own lip, Uenoyama struggled with his own emotional eruption. Mafuyu rarely ever cried off stage. Yet…

“Thank you.” Uenoyama whispered, brushing kisses against shuddering lips as he pulled Mafuyu onto his lap.

“Why? Why did you do that to yourself? Why’d you finish Yuki’s song?” Mafuyu’s voice was hoarse as he fired questions between kisses.

“Because he would have wanted you to hear it.” Uenoyama’s floodgate broke. His tears flowed without regard while his thumb caressed those of his partners.

“You… you…” Mafuyu stammered, drowning under his own tears.

Concerned glacier eyes sparkled under crystal lakes towards Mafuyu, who offered a half smirk in return. He couldn’t respond, instead, the redhead wrapped his legs around Uenoyama as they pushed their foreheads together.

Salty tears of heartache, forgiveness, and understanding.

Tears that belonged to just them. 

[granny-griffin]

All Might rose in a time of fear, when people needed to believe that things would turn out alright in order to move forward, and so he became a symbol of peace—his strength was a comfort to everyone. Because of him, society was able to come out of a state of chaos and stabilize.

But Midoriya was born in the era of complacency that followed. If he became the same symbol of peace that All Might was, then society would stagnate. Another strong OFA user would just reassure society that the heroes have everything handled, that they don’t need to intervene, and that they didn’t have enough power to help even if they wanted to.

That’s why his loss of OFA (a terrible thing in itself!!) is going to work out for the ultimate good of everyone. It actually frees Midoriya to wield the power he was born with—the ability to inspire other people to act. I don’t think it’s an accident that he was quirkless in his rising chapter. When people see Midoriya running to save, even without any power, they loose any excuse for complacency they had. They feel compelled to do the same.

That power—the connection of hearts that formed OFA in the first place—is greater than any quirk. It’s what makes Midoriya the greatest hero.

[thearunadragon]

After battle/battle-stunned sketch of Eragon. Part of a fic. So many Eragon & Co moments.

[mapicccubito]

what else can you do but die?

[doekimakura]

The Villager vs Illager Conflict

The biggest conflict there in Svallin currently is the Villager - Illager War which started about 2 years ago in the server. While the conflict happens everywhere since the dawn of Svallin, anyway, the hotspot currently sits at West Svallin, between the Illager army of Vuruethas (lead by Absinthe Vane,) and The Fortress City Midsommar, (lead by Queen Alexis Gjallarhorn.)

They aim to destroy the other for the sake of their people's (and their own) satisfaction and goals. If Vane wins, the illagers prevail. If Alexis wins, the villagers prevail.

So far, they are deadlocked, matched in both wits and resources.

-

So why beef with Midsommar?

Because of Alexis Gjallarhorn.

Alexis was an Alex-skinned player character who was spawned in initially during the absence of [spoiler man], and happened to save a village from pillagers during her travels. She was filled with a sense of justice and responsibility, and began building her own kingdom as a 'safe haven' for villagers pillaged by illagers.

And now, the safe haven's gotten too big! The Illagers, fearing of being wiped off by Alex's knights, decided to band up to try and fell Midsommar before they got 'too strong', and they have been at each other since.

More will be explained when I flesh out the kingdoms~

-

Are things only bad in Midsommar?

Not really. Besides Vane's army, there is another bigshot group that roams the lands, treated like a bad omen or the boogeyman.

This group of horseriders are called the Band of Claws. Unlike Vuruethas Amry, they usually ride on separate platoons and regroup once a while in the woods of Northern Svallin. They are infamous for making pillaging a sport and competition, and would even toy with villagers and children and hunt them on horseback 'for amusement.'

Its leader is Balalaika Zamrud. Many thinks she is much more cruel and cold compared to Vane, but she finds no fun in invasions. Hence, Vuruethas and Band of Claws don't really work together.

Zamrud does find interest in a certain village whose villagers know how to control fire...

-

...and others

Besides those two groups, Illagers still roam the land in different communities, but they always have one thing in mind: Pillaging and plundering. Thirsty for power and are aggressively territorial, the Illagers are becoming more brazen in the advent of high-ranking illagers who lead them to glory.

Depending on the biomes, illagers may form different kinds of pillaging groups such as: Desert Robbers, Pirates, or Snow Hunters.

They are as common as pillaging groups across Svallin, usually captained by lesser known illagers. They aren't as lethal, but they still cause losses alright.

-

There is more about illagers and villagers that I'm cooking up, but since this post has gotten quite long, maybe next time!

Svallin Tag ↗

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

Did you or will you ever make merch for your fanfics? Like keychain/prints/printed version of these most amazing works?

(I would love to parade with my little Morax and Ajax keychain form cyanide narwhal >:D)

genuinely how would that be different of regular genshin merch. i mean i can think of some ways it could be, but still

also quite frankly it would be such a hassle. like i appreciate the thought but setting up a whole-ass online store??? my guy (gn), that's way too much work. i would be far more inclined to do mockup designs and then y'all can DIY the merch LMAO

[preservationofnormalcy]

OOC, are your characters okay to adapt write? (for my purposes it'd be a crossover fic)

Hey there! Those are really excellent questions that we’ve been talking about internally for a while.

Our official position is that we’re touched that y’all love this series enough to create fan works; it makes us super happy that this little thing we do has resonated with y’all. You can create any kinds of fanworks your heart desires! Cosplay, write fanfic, make fanart!

That being said, for legal reasons, we are not able to engage with certain things that overlap with areas of creativity within the main project; namely, fan posters (as that’s our main source of income with the OPN; we don’t want to either accidentally steal an idea or have an interesting poster design space gated off from us because a fan created one got there first) and fanfic, for much the same reason that, say, Neil Gaimen doesn’t read fanfic of his work. It’s just a whole lot less of a headache ethically and legally to have a policy in place.

So, tl;dr: you’re totally cool to create fanworks, but we at the OPN will not be engaging with or looking at fanworks beyond cosplay and fanart.

One more note, because we’ve gotten a few asks about this; you can also feel free to create your own OCs and RP within the space amongst yourselves, but we will not be canonizing OCs, and ask that you do not publicly RP as established characters like Jenny or Norm. Writing them is fine, but don't make blogs pretending to be them.

[yardsards]

i think that (aside from farcille) my approach to shipping in dungeon meshi is generally just "whatever is funnier in the moment"

[sweetshelluvaau]

Seeing some leaks on how Helluva Boss plans on handling the Sins going forward with there being 'Good Sins' (Ozzie, Bee and Bel) and 'Bad Sins' (Satan, Mammon, Levi) is just a horrible writing decision, let alone a baffling one because no sin is a good sin. They can all be equality destructive. That's why they're called 'sins' Vivienne.

Honestly, if anything she should have gone into the morally dubious or a weird blue and orange morality (or mixture of both) being that would have made things more interesting. I'm not a huge fan of making the Sins themselves full on evil in general being I rather write them in my AU as more dubious or their morality being a bit twisted but not always exactly down right malicious with maybe a few exceptions. Some may be on the more darker end of morality but I want the Sins to be complex characters in their own right. But that's just one direction to take.

Honestly there's plenty of ways Helluva could handle the Sins as characters but won't because either Vivienne is too afraid or lazy to add nuance to her characters and world.

For a show aimed at edgy teenagers adults, it has a very black and white view of the world and lack of understanding of nuance and subtlety. Fucking Bluey, a show for toddlers has more nuance and handles it's themes in a mature matter more than Hellaverse ever could and yeah I know it's not fair to compare the two being they're for two different audiences but a lot of shows aimed at younger demographics have mature and nuance writing while still keeping it's target audience in mind but not talking down to them at the same time.

Also, no shade being thrown at Bluey neither, I love Bluey I think it's a charming show and honestly a successful children's show (in the writing department) to me is that everyone could watch and enjoy it, adults included considering parents do watch content with there kids so having something they can also enjoy without loosing their sanity is a good thing in my books

Anyways, back to writing and drawing bye <3

[rottingraisins]

I'm not gonna lie I'm shocked that all that Requiem/Divorceverse stuff was just an AU, I had completely internalized the idea that all this was on the wiki somewhere. Your commitment to an AU with one fanfiction to its name is commendable.

[paperpocalypse]

hm. that was interesting.

there’s a post i need to reblog that i read before watching the season that explains it much better than i can, but i will say that the ending was such a letdown. maybe it would have better if we had more episodes to spread everything out, but that wasn’t the only problem. i thought the beginning was actually okay but then it just started falling apart with the characterization, the unnecessary and poorly resolved side plot lines, the way they completely dropped the ball on portraying ben and jennifer’s fate and the message that the family’s sacrifice sends. i’m just really disappointed :(

[phoenixkaptain]

Although on the topic of Red Dragon and the things they changed between the book and the tv show, I think it’s really, really funny how they recontextualize all of Dr. Bloom’s lines in regards to Will. Because it was Alan Bloom, in the book, but Alana said a lot of the same lines, nearly word for word! And when Alana said it, most of it could be interpreted in a romantic sense.

When Alan said it, it was just weird that he didn’t like to be in the same room as Will if ut was just the two of them. Will is his friend. He is Will’s friend. They’re pretty comfortable around each other. If Will is ever alone with him, Alan will die. And like, Will is aware of this, so-

They also changed Freddy Lounds from a guy into a girl, which is funny because honestly, you could read both Freddy’s interactions with Will the exact same way. As in, they’re both honestly amazed that Will says the shit he does. And both of them leave the audience craving to see them set on fire, but only one of them delivers.

Will is, perhaps, the most different character of all. Which makes sense. I think the idea is that Will in the show is younger, he’s uncomfortable with himself and others, he’s especially uncomfortable around people with pushy personalities because they tend to use him.

Will in the novel, on the other hand, is my dear beloved. He is exhausted. Jack Crawford comes in and says “one more time, Will, please” and Will says “no, fuck off.” Crawford weasels him into it, but Will is having none of anyone’s shit for approximately the entire time. Will calls Dolarhyde gay to piss him off (this leads to Freddy Lounds being set on fire). Dolarhyde sends him a literal voice recording of Freddy Lounds telling Will that the Red Dragon is going to kill him-

“”Reach behind you, Will Graham… and feel for the small… knobs on the top of your pelvis. Feel your spine between them… that is the precise spot… where the Dragon will snap your spine.””

-and his response is-

“Graham kepts his hands on the railing. Damn if I feel. Did the Dragon not know the nomenclature of the iliac spine, or did he choose not to use it?”

Which is very funny to me because it reads to me as Will going “pssh, amateur.”

(Will has a few moments of being very uncaring about threats against his own person. This is why it’s more effective when Dolarhyde goes after his family.)

Crawford is both different and similar in many ways. In the novel, he is a lot more clear with how he’s pushing Will. He knows that he’s pushing him to the limits, he knows he’s basically holding Will over a cliff with nothing to catch him, but he thinks it’ll ultimately be fine. Even if Will does break, if he catches the Dragon first, it will have been worth it.

It’s difficult to explain Hannibal in this book. Of all the portrayals, I feel this one is… the funniest? Like, he is a little bit obsessed. He wants Will to hang out with him. He wants Will to commit murder. He thinks Will is fascinating. Will refuses to give a serial killer (one who stabbed Will in the side) his phone number or address and Hannibal sends a fucking murderer after him. Hannibal’s actions directly lead to Will being stabbed in the face, and he sends a letter (that Will doesn’t read, but Crawford does) that ends with the lines: “I wish you a speedy convalescence and hope you won’t be too ugly. I think of you often.”

I’ve said this many, many times in the past, but there’s a reason NBC Hannibal portrays Hannibal as in love with Will. I want to use Silence of the Lambs as an example. He talks very casually with Clarice for a little while, then abruptly: “How is Will Graham?”

For this one, I think I’ll just take a picture, because it amuses me.

Of course, Hannibal also brings up Alan and Frederick Chilton (I forgot to mention earlier, Freddy C.’s been here the whole goddamn time and had the gall to try and explain Hannibal Lecter to the man who caught Hannibal Lecter), but him bringing up Will has always been funny to me. His last letter to Will says “I hope you aren’t too ugly.” It’s been a few years now, and his question is basically: “Is Will ugly?” It is…

I mean, I understand on a cannibalistic-serial-killer-from-the-80s level that Hannibal wants Will to look a certain way because he likes the way Will looks. Not on a queer level at all, it’s probably moreso because he wants Will to fit his aesthetics. Like I said, he wants to spend time with Will, and part of that requires Will’s appearance to fit. It totally makes sense in a horror novel that a character would be creepily obsessed with appearance, and Hannibal’s insistence on Will was probably discomfiting to a lot of the readers at the time.

But on the other hand, Hannibal’s obsession with Will in the modern day is really funny. Like, he just needs to know. Tell the man what he wants to know, Starling. You know Will Graham, everyone knows Will Graham, come on, tell me. It’s incredibly amusing, especially the jump in their conversation from classical paintings to Will’s appearance.

Now, the correlation could be a few things. Hannibal could be implying that Will mocked him in some way and that his punishment would be the scarring of his face. But, that would make Hannibal have a bit of a god-complex, and that’s boring. Another option is that he found Will to be reminiscent of a man in a painting. Specifically, the man in the painting they’re talking about, which is a painting Hannibal did on the wall of his cell with crayons and magic marker (yes, that is what he said he used), which makes it kind of funny because wouldn’t that be like Hannibal painting Will on the wall? If the painting reminds him of Will, then he only painted it because he knew Chilton would get the wrong idea if he painted Will. Which, maybe he did paint Will! It’s not like Clarice knows what Will looks like, and Hannibal wouldn’t just tell her.

Anyway, as I’ve said countless times, Hannibal in the books is only a bit less obsessed with Will Graham than he is in the show. Why is he obsessed with Will? The show’s idea that Hannibal was in love with Will and didn’t realize it is a very clean answer. Even if one doesn’t believe that Hannibal Lecter has the capability to love, which I would argue against since it’s disputed in the books and the tv show, his obsession with Will, an obsession akin to love, that he himself doesn’t realize until it’s too late… that’s fun.

Why is Hannibal obsessed with Will in the books? I don’t know. Will thinks it’s because Hannibal wants him to be just like Hannibal, but I don’t know if I would be so hung up on a guy for multiple years who just will not come visit or commit murder. If the books ever off an alternative, I’ve not seen it.

But, I think Hannibal wants to kill Will. I think he is a bit upset that Will saw through him and turned him in, but he’s also fascinated that Will saw through him. Will is fascinating to him. Will is afraid of himself, and that’s fascinating too. Hannibal wants to kill Will, not out of hatred, but out of a sort of grudging respect. He wants to be the reason Will Graham dies. He wants to be there as Will Graham dies. Even when he sent a serial killer after Will, Hannibal didn’t doubt that Will would live. And he wants Will to live, until he can wrap his hands around Will’s throat and watch the life drain away.

All this to say, I still have more thoughts on the Hannibal tetralogy than I previously thought.

[pynkhues]

#I find it really fascinating #especially with the housewife/feminization narrative around Louis #which is so ‘intellectualized’ in meta and sexualized in fanfiction

I’ve been in fandom long enough that I’m at a point where faced with most belligerent and obnoxious behavior I usually ask myself: is this projection or kink? I stopped taking the feminization brigade seriously when I noticed how many of them were blatantly kinking on it but never ever acknowledged in the serious meta posts that they might have a bit of a preference influencing their interpretation.

The fixation on virginity an anon mentioned a while ago? There’s absolutely weird cultural hangups around it and purity culture doesn’t help, but that is also why it’s such a common kink.

And there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s what fanfiction is for! Scratch that itch, write that self insert! Just maybe don’t insist you’re objectively right, canon is on your side, and every different interpretation is wrong and harmful, lol.

This is tonally the complete opposite of the last ask that I got, anon, so I feel like I'm getting whiplash, haha.

But yeah, I mean, it's interesting to see where the crossover points for different types of meta intersect with popular tropes and kinks, particularly in fanworks, because I do think they have a constantly evolving relationship in fan spaces.

Like, I do think good and popular meta informs the way people write and draw characters in creating fanworks, which in turn informs the tropes and kinks that manifest in a fandom space when sharing characters and storyworlds, which then in turn often leads to certain fanons that people become attached to and can in turn influence how people engage with the show and what they want out of it. It's something that I think about a lot, especially after four years in the Good Girls fandom where, it felt to me, there was a real cognitive dissonance by the end of its run about what the show was about and even who the main characters were between fanon and canon.

That's even before we touch on the way real world trends like the rise of purity culture and the way broader online discourse influences the way fandoms engage with stories too. It's a really interesting area to think about.

[telffiin]

LET RA'S BE SILLY 2k24!!!!!

[rawliverandgoronspice]

.

[personal and vaguely unnecessary whining underneath, just a bunch of undigisted and personal thoughts about my problems with Creation and Art that mostly just concern myself, but here they are anyway woooo!!!!]

feeling some kind of way about having to concede my artistic calling truly is in fanwork, but, yeah. all of my creative energy really tends towards fanwork, and like. not even the popular kind really, but the long, cerebral, pretentious kind of fanwork that is impossibly costly to produce yet comes with an inherently very limited audience at the end of the road. but every time I try to do something else, something "original", I get frustrated and I feel like I have nothing to say, or that what I have to say isn't really worth saying/that I'm only kind of doing this out of fear of being perceived as illegitimate rather than because of actual passion. I have original ideas, but I don't even really like most of them. it's weird, to have your inner creative fire being so intricately connected to something you will never have legal control over, something you can't really show off/take actual pride in, and something that is, by and large, decried as a waste of talent or time or proper artistic merit.

but yeah, it's the shape of my brain. it's what it is. I'm just not sure how to connect this reality to the rest of my creative/career frustrations. weird place to be, don't love that my brain chose to be like this honestly.

[deviousdiesel]

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