#girl help i went over it again

[lanternlightss]

a fake title... "sleepless nights and daydreams" ?? that sounds poetic, yeah ??

THAT SOUNDS SO COOL !!!

for some reason thinking about rosaria specifically for sleepless nights but also !! hm. amos staying awake and daydreaming about what could be…. perhaps………

percy in the lightning thief maybe……. wondering about his mom….. oooo or maybe a continuation of the au thing where sally accidentally gets eebie deebied??

indecisive </3. let’s see…. something along the lines of these?

(once again under the cut because !!! they got a little long, ehe…)

The tile is frighteningly cold, even with the boots on. Still, she trudges forward, pulling the hood of her cloak down further.

These nights are always the coldest—when He refuses to listen.

Everyone in the city is getting antsy, is getting reckless (she thinks not of the bard who has a rather unfortunate track record with jail, who continues to greet her with a startled, “Ah, Miss Amos! I promise I was trying to stay out of trouble!”)

She refuses to entertain the smile tugging at her lips. Looking out the arched window, it falls on its own accord.

He is…. trying different measures. He did not listen to her pleads to lessen the winds, as the crops are beginning to wilt, and the trades are beginning to falter.

No one wants to come near a whirling wall of wind. Yet He does not listen. So desperate to keep them all safe, to keep them from everyone and everything, that he has begun to tighten the bolts to their cage.

Amos sighs, a little frustrated, a little aggravated.

Walking up to the window, she lays a gentle hand against the still, and leans against one side. A particular biting breeze decides to cut past her, then.

How…. ugh, lovely.

She cannot help the crestfallen look that crosses her face. If… if only—

(Amos dares not to hope, but.)

If only things were different. If she could convince Decarabian to see her way, to see the people’s. They are slowly dying.

If… if she could convince him to bring down the walls. If she could convince him to step from that throne of his, to see the world as mortals do. If she could….

If she could see the ocean…. with them all.

See, this afternoon, she was talking with the bard, and the warrior. They had told her the reasons of wanting out of this city.

The bard, to see the skies and birds.

The warrior…. he had not given his reasons, truly, but the wistful look in his eyes as the bard talked…..

Perhaps he had wished to be able to travel again. He had once said he was something of a wanderer before.

And she… she, Amos, one of the best archers there ever was….

She had wanted to see the ocean, the forests. To see the waves as they gently crashed against the glittering sand of the beach! To see greenery of all kinds spread around her, of bushes and flowers and trees of all kinds!

She kept this to herself, but she wanted to see it all with them, too.

To see the bard play around and splash in the water, spraying the warrior. To see the knight stand off to the side, quietly laughing as the two of them chase the other around. To see the wisp distract the warrior by blowing his hair this way and that….

To even see… perhaps, Decarabian with them all, too. A distance away, she is not sure how the others would respond to him, but there all the same. Awkward and trying and telling her—

A shudder wracks through her body. She pulls the hood, and cloak, closer around her in an attempt to stave off any more cold.

Amos will admit to a bit of grumbling. (She will not admit to nearly shouting a curse to the heavens.)

Quite a cruel reminder, no?

—

No matter what, Percy can never quite get adjusted to the feeling of sand. Sure, it’s fun, and he’ll admit, even a little cool, but then it just gets everywhere and—

He groans, hopping on one foot to try and grab his shoe. Not again.

It’s popped right back on after a moment of shaking and shaking, and wincing at all the sand that falls out, but he’s right back to where he was—that is, he has no idea where he’s going.

Okay, a vague one. Percy wants to be at the beach, it’s… comforting. Especially now.

So the beach he goes!

He can’t find a place to sit down.

Maybe…. close to the water? That way, if anything tries to sneak up on him…. okay, yeah, mind made up.

Scanning the beach, he spots the perfect place—it even has a rock that he can put his shoes on, yes—and begins to jog right over.

Then, when he gets to it, with all the fanfare he can manage (which is to say, absolutely none), he flops right down onto the sand.

Not a good idea, by the way.

Yeah, you know how he was talking about sand getting everywhere?

He spits up sand. Gapes and frantically tries to get any out of his hair (he just took a shower, come on, dude. Spare him!) Eventually decides that tonight will be a double shower night, and goes back to laying sprawled out on the beach.

Admittedly…. he’s really tired. And the gentle sounds of the waves very nearly lull him to sleep.

So he pries those eyelids back open and stares into the sky.

It does remind him, though, of something his mom used to do—and, ah, does that remind him of why he came out here! His heart twists a little, and he reaches up to lay a hand over his chest.

Still….

When he was a kid, she used to put on this playlist—something called “Ocean Sounds To Sleep To, Ten Hours Long”?

It worked wonders, no surprise there. But he thinks that her singing might have helped, too.

His mom had an amazing voice. She did! And that’s not even his bias showing! (Okay, maybe a little.)

She always sung (sings, she always sings) so gently and…. melodically. It’s wonderful to listen to. Percy is more than grateful he got to hear it so many times.

Again, his heart sinks, and twists, and his face scowls.

He’ll hear it again.

He will, this is a promise he’s making. He will not let the Gods keep her, and he will not let them take her ever again.

Once this whole—thing is over with, he can go home to his mom, Smelly Gabe won’t be there, and….

She’ll hug him. And hold him. And won’t let go.

And he’ll hug her back. And hold her. And refuse to let go.

And she’ll sing, but there won’t be any waves to accompany it, but that’s okay because she has an amazing voice and—

Percy rubs at his eyes.

She’ll sing that one lullaby he liked, about that one hero who always got a happy ending. He had a name like Percy’s.

She sung it to him a lot, and he thought it was a little corny at first (really, he got the meaning behind it really early. He also did cry over his mom wishing he got a happy ending as well, even if he was a little confused.)

And it’ll be great.

No gods, no weird quest, no Gabe.

Just them.

He settles back into the sand. The stars twinkle, and waves continue to fall back and crash, gentle in their movements. As if they wish to preserve this moment of peace. (Silently, he’s a little thankful.)

Percy stares at the sky a little longer, trying to see if he could make out a constellation. Then, sighing and shrugging, he closes his eyes, and listens to the ocean, the sky, the land.

It’s good. It’s…. nice.

Well, that is, until wave crashes over him.

Percy will gladly and readily admit that he loudly called his dad a bastard for putting a fish in his mouth.

[yourlocalsewerdragon]

revisiting this site every now and then to reminisce in how much it shaped me as a person and defined me as a literal child

[hexados-on-a-string]

mira julie and gus friendship but its literally just this

[astoldbychae]

That moment when you've had a sip (or two) and have been listening to 90's R&B all night...I-

Chile, I just KNOW this is on his playlist...

& I just KNOW he takes his time and is attentive, to all the things. 😩

sheesh!

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

[girlthativealwaysbeen]

i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point

[murmurmurl]

I actually find gender swapping characters really interesting (what part of their expression is dictated by gender norms vs certain events in their life vs their personal preferences that wouldn't change either way, etc.) so now I wanna draw what that would look like in my ocs except I am in pain rn so I'm forced to just lie there and be plagued by visions

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

[junonreactor]

just did all the party sidequests. that was really cute

[rawliverandgoronspice]

.

[britneyshakespeare]

you know i don't bring this up as a light anecdote because it involves me being talked about in really perverted ways behind my back. but when i was like 20 i was part of this large group of friends that was mostly a bunch of guys, and a couple of girlfriends. and the energy if you were a girl starting to hang around them was like. "ok, so who are you gonna hook up with/date?" and it didn't last long bc of course when the answer ended up being "well none of you," the patience they had for me evaporated. lol. so i was being talked about among literally every single one of them behind my back in a gigantic group chat, of like literally everyone in the original group chat (including the ppl who never fucking used it, and it was over twelve people) minus a few other ppl they didn't like, decidedly. and eventually one of my GOOD friends (that i am still friends w to this day) told me about it and then there was the whole drama of people not being able to accept consequences for their actions, not owning up to being cowardly bullies, etc... yawn yawn yawn. truly that was some stupid middle school shit from a bunch of immature ppl that i didn't really take to heart. not the guys, anyway. i was honestly very hurt by a couple of girls who partook in it though, that i thought genuinely liked me and who i genuinely liked in return, so that was shocking to me.

but anyway. after this all happened my sister went OFF on this one guy in particular. bc he had been a nuisance before. he was a slimy creep honestly. i used to feel a lot of pity for him bc i thought he was just sad and wanted attention but that was just my 20-year-old nonsense brain way of interpreting it. he was incredibly annoying and would wear girls down, would hop from one girl to another week after week, each one not reciprocating his constant desperate flirting and lovebombing. and there was a joke he participated in about me and my (also queer, female) friend that was particularly crossing a line. so kaily just ripped this guy a new one when he went to try and offer an explanation. like imagine trying to even talk to someone after you just humiliated and bullied their sister... couldn't be me. like i was literally the one being bullied in this instant but i can't imagine the kind of white hot rage i'd be in if someone did that to my sister. you know? so yeah.

at the end of this rant kaily told him "go to hell." you know. like fuck off. go fuck yourself. go to hell. good old indecent words to throw out at someone you loathe, right? i'm literally ONLY bringing this up because i cannot stop thinking, all these years later, about how one of the girls who participated in it, and was the least apologetic about it (in fact weirdly a year later she came back just to taunt me again and tell me how much better her life is without me and how stupid i was for breaking up a 'wonderful' friend group?? yeah that sounds like the behavior of someone who is over it)... i don't remember where but someone told me she talked particularly about that message to that guy and said "kaily told (name) to burn in hell" like. like that whole time she interpreted my sister as like a conservative christian who was calling him a dirty sinner. bc presumably she had never heard the phrase "go to hell" in a non-literal context before, or just never understood it?? like that girl didn't necessarily strike me as incredibly bright or something, in the short time i knew her, but i never would've guessed she could be so dumb...

but for the record that pervert guy yeah he is gonna burn in hell.

[ducktollers]

girl help i hated almost every second of being in school but now that ive graduated im feeling nostalgic for it

[anothermonikan]

Have I told you guys about the fucked up dreams I've been having recently? I've been having some fucked up dreams lately. yeah <3

[rosicheeks]

i do not know if i ever sent this to you. i have posted it. i hope you like it Princess.

[kikuism]

i lived

[hiddenbysuccubi]

I'm going to eternally hate myself for the way I met Billie Piper but I do miss Rose Tyler on my screen and the newest Doctor Who clip indicates that Donna Noble had a daughter and named her Rose. I'm gonna scream.