#gifts for adults on the autism spectrum

[noisycowboyglitter]

Bunny Easter Egg Jigsaw for Autism Awareness Month | 400 Piece Puzzle

The phrase "Bunny Easter Eggs Piece Autistic Different" likely refers to a unique puzzle or concept that combines Easter imagery with autism awareness. This description could represent a jigsaw puzzle or art piece designed to celebrate neurodiversity during the Easter season.

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The design might feature colorful Easter eggs and a friendly bunny, symbols traditionally associated with Easter. However, these elements could be depicted in an unconventional manner to represent the diverse ways autistic individuals perceive and interact with the world. For instance, the eggs might have distinct patterns or textures, symbolizing the unique sensory experiences of those on the autism spectrum.

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The bunny character could be portrayed engaging with the eggs in atypical ways, perhaps lining them up precisely or focusing intently on specific details, reflecting common behaviors associated with autism. The overall composition might incorporate puzzle pieces, a symbol often used to represent autism awareness, seamlessly integrated into the Easter scene.

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This concept celebrates the idea that being "different" is not just acceptable but valuable and beautiful. It encourages viewers to appreciate diverse perspectives and challenges traditional norms of both Easter imagery and societal expectations.

Such a design could serve as an educational tool, sparking conversations about autism and neurodiversity while maintaining a festive Easter theme. It embodies the message that autism is an integral part of an individual's identity, to be recognized and celebrated alongside other aspects of life and culture.

Autism Awareness aims to educate the public and create a more inclusive world for people with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). It focuses on celebrating their strengths, understanding their challenges, and fostering acceptance. World Autism Awareness Day takes place on April 2nd, with Autism Speaks [Autism Speaks] hosting events and resources throughout the month.

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Choosing gifts for autistic adults can be thoughtful! Focus on their interests and sensory preferences. Consider fidget toys, weighted items like blankets or lap pads, noise-canceling headphones, or aromatherapy tools. Subscription boxes with sensory items or art supplies for their hobbies can be a hit! Remember, experiences like museum passes or tickets to a special interest event can be fantastic gifts too.

[im-a-lil-bitch-boi]

my mom: ur not autistic, stop

also her: describes aspects of my childhood that r v obvious signs of autism

[valkerymillenia]

Finally had the appointment with the psychiatric specialist. Had to get up at 6am and go to a whole other city but I got it.

He was a guy (not the actual doctor I was supposed to see because she's on medical sabbatical). And he was nice but I am awkward with strangers and there were some things... Look, I just hate medical gender bias and there was a little here.

But most of all, there was... Some ableism?

Don't get me wrong, he was good and proper and did his job, he was also nice (and very young), but I was there for an ADHD and autism screening so I could have an official documented diagnosis and, well, there was quite a bit of gender bias about these disorders... And a significant amount of unconscious ableism too.

I'm already being treated for these things but my current doctors (psychiatrist, psychologist, and GP) don't have expertise in this area because these disorders aren't usually diagnosed in adulthood and that is their field, and this guy is the "expert" so we need his stamp on the matter just to dot the i's.

Turns out we didn't have enough time for all the tests because someone messed up and scheduled this as a follow-up appointment instead of an assessment but we made do. Here's my problem though: he only wanted to focus on the ADHD.

Also, he ignored a lot of details I was trying to put on the table but I might be reading too much into this.

According to him, yes, I definitely have ADHD and it's good that I'm already testing the medication for it but he wants to see what else he can do and if he can fix the side effects, but we didn't really have enough time for a full evaluation so he sent me home with a bunch of written tests to take so he can check them next month and have a more concise idea of my issues.

He also cut some of the older medication I had that is now obsolete with the new stuff.

I'm fine with all that. Grateful even.

But I wanted to talk about the autism diagnosis, I've been trying to approach this with doctors for years, I've desperate to be heard ever since I learned just how strongly the symptoms applied to me every since I was born, I'm been desperate ever since I discovered the gender bias in diagnosing females, I did so much research and talked to other autistic people and associations that gave emotional support, but the doctors keep brushing it off, not because they don't agree but because they literally don't want to talk about autism in general, they don't even wasn't to explain why they don't want to talk about it, the stigma is just too big.

Eventually, this is what this doc said:

"Look, autism is a spectrum and all so it's complicated. You definitely have serious autistic traits for sure but I don't think we should test you for it, there's no point because you're an adult and you've already learned coping mechanisms and masking the hard way, you struggled a lot but you're here, there's really not much else we can do help with and not much treatment we can give for this so why saddle you with a bad label?"

Like, it's so ableist. He totally missed the point? I told him I don't really care about what treatment they can give me, I just want confirmation because:

1. there's safety in labels, much more comforting to know I'm normal zebra and not a failed horse,

2. having the diagnosis gives me access to more information and a better ability to find good coping mechanisms and helpful tools for my daily life,

3. having the diagnosis allows me to find community and get mutual help and support without judgement,

4. having an official diagnosis helps me get certain amenities (or at least understanding) to make my life easier, be it with work or family life, even with social security or at certain events,

5. and finally, just because I survived my childhood without a label and found a way to blend in with neurotypicals doesn't mean that's a good thing (I was horribly bullied and abused for a reason), it doesn't mean that I'm currently happy pretending to be what society expects, doesn't mean it's not fucking exhausting, doesn't mean I don't deserve validation for my struggles.

But noooo, his whole focus was on "we can't medicate to FIX it so why bother" and on "what people would think of you if you had that label".

Bitch, I don't care about either of those, I don't care what people think of me, I care what I think of me, and autistic is not a slur, contrary to what people in this country seem to think! I just want to understand myself and my own struggles, and whenever I get harassed for being different I want to be able to defend myself with this knowledge.

For fucks sake, just test me and show some support!

I stg the doctors in this country are so scared of the word "autism", it's insulting.

[waitineedaname]

I have caved. here is my pitch for why Shigeo "Mob" Kageyama needs to win the @autismswagsummit (or at the very least get to the finals)

people have already talked about his intense autism coding (difficulty reading social cues, low empathy/high compassion, strict moral code, flat affect, bluntness, hyperfixating, emotional dysregulation/emotions being all or nothing) but I'm going to put my English degree to good use and talk about the narrative importance of Mob's autism

the entire plot of Mob Psycho 100 would not exist without Mob's autism

first and foremost, the 100 in Mob Psycho 100? it's a symbol of Mob's emotional dysregulation. the narrative uses a percentage counter as a device to indicate Mob's emotional state -- the percentage till Mob's "explosion." emotions and psychic powers are directly related within the narrative, and because he fears the strength of his emotions/powers, he's been repressing his emotions since he was a child. however, as anyone who tries to repress their emotions can tell you, that only works for so long. the percentage meter indicates the build up of emotions until he cannot repress them anymore -- until he essentially has an emotional meltdown through a psychic explosion. these explosions aren't strictly negative emotions either; they can range a wide spectrum of emotions, from rage and sadness to gratitude and trust. any buildup of emotions can be overwhelming and trigger a meltdown

aside from that, the core thesis of the series is self-acceptance. Mob starts off the series with painfully low self-esteem, for a number of reasons -- he dislikes that he doesn't fit in, he feels massive guilt for allowing his psychic powers to hurt his brother when they were little. he wishes he didn't have these powers (which, I cannot emphasize enough, are a metaphor for autism) and he wishes he could just be "normal." over the course of the series, it is emphasized over and over that psychic powers are normal, they're just another trait a person can have. there's good parts of them and bad parts, but at the end of the day, they are a neutral trait. you can understand why "your autism is a normal part of you, not something to be hated or feared" is an important message

which brings us to the final arc of the series. Mob Psycho 100 does not end with a climactic battle with some big bad, but rather with a confrontation between Mob and the part of himself he's locked away. this other part of him symbolizes a lot of things, but most importantly it symbolizes his psychic powers and his autism. since he realized as a child that his psychic powers (autism) could potentially hurt someone if he's not careful, he's been shoving that part away from him and attempting to mask and be "normal." this manifestation of his psychic powers/autism is, understandably, pretty bitter and angry about this. at the end of the day, he just wants to be accepted for who he is -- not for the face he presents to the world, but for who he really is on the inside. the culmination of the whole story comes through his loved ones showing him that they love him in his entirety, even when he's volatile or upset. they love Mob as who he is, and because his psychic powers (autism) are part of him, they love that part of him too. the resolution comes when Mob finally accepts all parts of himself, even his psychic powers (autism) because they're nothing to be feared or hated. they're just part of him.

genuinely, Mob Psycho 100 is the best representation of autism I've ever seen. Mob isn't the only autistic coded character in the series (I could go on and on about Serizawa's adult autism or the relationship between Ritsu's gifted kid syndrome and his undiagnosed autism) but his autism is definitely the most important to the plot of the show. his autism is presented realistically, with kindness and nuance and, most importantly, with neutrality. even if you don't vote Mob in the autism summit (which, you should. come on.) if you're ever wanting a show about autism and self acceptance that is kind without being saccharine, I cannot recommend Mob Psycho 100 enough

also if this isn't a damning indication of the importance of autism in Mob Psycho 100, I don't know what is

@autismswagreblogs

[liminevator]

#0808 - TraumaDear Empathetum

?? - Unlabeled and Sexless (It/They/He) - Monster - Phonian

Rating - C-rank

Home Floor - Floor 108 "White Gardens"

TraumaDear is a very enigmatic denizen that none of us really know much about, it's mute and only communicates through writing or manipulating audio sources such as radios, speak-n-spells, or the elevator itself. They always speak of themselves in third person and any communication may be seen as a bit juvenile to some, as they seem to struggle forming complex sentences or communicating any of their own emotions easily. A psych evaluation was performed to try and gauge the possible source of this and did diagnose TraumaDear with autism spectrum disorder. There's nothing special requested by TraumaDear for people to do to accommodate him aside from just patience and kindness, stating he is an adult who can handle himself, but just needs a little help sometimes. It has been noted though that bright and/or flashing lights, plus loud and/or high pitched noises do cause TraumaDear noticeable distress, please be mindful of this and treat him with care if something happens.

Speaking of care, TraumaDear is known to be incredibly sweet and kind to others at every possible opportunity, even if they don't offer it the same in return, to an extent that it could even be considered stubborn sometimes. It seems to sense how people feel by reading their minds, and is drawn especially to people who are experiencing exceptional levels of distress or despair, doing whatever is in its power to help them feel better even if its only for a few moments, its favorite way to do this is by giving away flowers it picked from its home floor. Their favorite phrase to say to anybody whenever able to communicate it is "TraumaDear loves you."

Overall, TraumaDear is a genuine delight to have around on the elevator, be sure to always keep a little something with you as a gift for them just in case, I'm sure it would make his day.

-- -- --

Excess info:

D.O.B. - 03/21

Height - 8'8’‘ft / 264.16 cm

Weight - 173lbs / 78.5kg

Skin - Entirely pitch black, except for a white face and red heart marking on chest.

Eye Color - Black

Distinct Traits - Has a dark black crack under his right eye, right eye does not move in sync with the left and seems to be almost blind on that side

Notable Abilities - Manipulation of any audio transmitting devices, psychic abilities with an unknown extent (is currently known to be capable of mind reading and some telekinesis.)

Soul - White (Love)

[altocat]

I wonder if Sephiroth would bond well with a neurodivergent person? (Canon or OC character, because ideas) because there’s a lot in his own upbringing and environment that’s strictly controlled. He’s gifted at something (combat), but the world around him seems to force him into that field’s box and doesn’t uniquely let him express himself, or explore other interest that would otherwise fulfill normal human parts of life. It reminds me a lot of the neurodivergent experience, especially peeps who were diagnosed late under the spectrum of neurodivergent categories (ADHD, autism, etc.), and having someone who can relate to the: “I’m supposed to use this gift but I feel absolutely empty and unseen, so what’s the point” would be comforting for him, to know he’s not alone. Idk, maybe this is just me daydreaming 😅 I can kinda see some of the ND experience in some of the ways he was limited by Shinra and the adults in his life as he grew up.

I personally like to hc Sephiroth as being rather neurodivergent himself, or at the least I hint at it. Either way, relating to someone similar might prove to be a rewarding experience for him.

[d1rlin]

Time to discuss on my main/side page, what the hell is a special interest?

Did I make this because I'm petty and hate people fake claiming others because of the term special interest? Yes.

So let's talk about it,

So what is autism in a brief summary?

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a complex developmental condition involving persistent challenges with social communication, restricted interests and repetitive behavior. While autism is considered a lifelong disorder, the degree of impairment in functioning because of these challenges varies between individuals with autism.

Ethnicities such as a person of color, Asian, or other ethnicities may not present how a caucasian person would. A reason may be some non Caucasian's (a bodily white person) was taught it's okay to punish their children with physical punishments. And because of that some traits of autism such as autistic meltdowns may present in a different way and not in a way that you'd normally see it. Source and source

THIS DOSENT MEAN CAUCASIANS DO NOT GET PHYSICALLY PUNISHED. SOME DO. IT DEPENDS ON THE HOUSEHOLD AND WHAT THE PARENTS WERE TAUGHT

Brief description of types of interests. Source

Circumscribed Interest - an intense and restricted interest in objects or topics that often results in functional impairment.

Unusual Preoccupation — an intense interest in an object or topic that is unexpected for the child's age or development.

Atypical Attachment - an intense attachment to specific or unusual objects.

Moving on to the topic of discussion,

When we talk about special interests what do you think of? Trains, animals, maybe even math. And yes that is some others may have, but it's not limited to just those. Some people with autistic (not always the case but is pretty common) have those as a special interest. I know as a child I had a special interest of an owl. This would have me draw owls where ever and whenever, it was a favorite topic of mine. Much like how someone may enjoy rambling about certain shows, certain topics. These topics is to soothe the person in question, or to use as an award for good behavior. Think of it as you were gifted a golden sticker because you did well in class despite feeling overwhelmed and anxious, the sticker can provide an extra layer of praise and comfortability for the person.

When in school I know we had severely bad anger issues, which lead into fights, being explled and kicked out of school. However during that time a former in school the counselor gave me a stress toy that I took everywhere and had time where I needed time for myself. It was a way to cope with the stress that comes with my disorders including autism. Since I don't speak about having autism a ton, nor speak to a lot of people this may seem derange towards a normal person. But enough about me, let's go back to the academic sources rather than my rambling.

Neurotypical individuals also develop special interests, often in the form of hobbies. Although past research has focused on special interests held by children with autism spectrum disorder, little is known about their role in adulthood. The current study investigated differences in the content, number, and specificity of the special interests held by adult individuals with autism spectrum disorder and neurotypical individuals, using Internet discussion forums as a data source. Quantitative analysis of forum posts revealed significant differences between the diagnostic groups. Individuals with autism spectrum disorder reported having more interests in systemizing domains, more specific interests, and a greater number of interests overall than neurotypical individuals. Understanding special interests can lead to the development of educational and therapeutic programs that facilitate the acquirement of other important social and communication skills. Source

special interests are wrongly assumed to be obsessive. Even though persons with autism nay experience special interest as an 'addiction', they do not feel that they are unwanted or distressful (Baron-Cohen, 1989), as is the case in obsessive-compulsive conditions. Rather, they are a source of pleasure.

This poor understanding of the defining features of special interest is reflected by the fact that scholars use over 70 different term variants to describe such interests. By analysing the salience of these terms in 80 academic papers focussing on the subject, the author has found that 'special interests' is the most salient term, rather than 'circumscribed' and 'restricted' interests, or'obsessions'. The value of special interests to higher education becomes more clear when it is recognized that their defining features is an intrinsically motivation to know all there is to know about a subject without regard for the social or practical contexts in which it is embedded. In a rare study focussing on special interests in so-called 'high-functioning' adults, Aday (2011, p. 112) found that 85% of a sample of 150 reported one or more special interests; of this group, 90% pursued their interests) daily, and 35% for six hours a day. A larger and more recent study found that 65% of a sample of 687 adults with autism reported at least one special interest; 56% of the sample pursued their special interest(s) every day, for 0-2 hours by 31% and for 2-4 hours by 37% (Grove et. al., 2018, p. 4). Source

Some important information especially when it comes to mental health diagnosis'

Some people may opt to be self diagnosed because they were withheld of the acknowledgment they were diagnosed especially as an infant or child.

Does a parent have a right to receive a copy of psychotherapy notes about a child's mental health treatment?

No. The Privacy Rule distinguishes between mental health information in a mental health professional's private notes and that contained in the medical record. It does not provide a right of access to psychotherapy notes, which the Privacy Rule defines as notes recorded by a health care provider who is a mental health professional documenting or analyzing the contents of a conversation during a private counseling session or a group, joint, or family counseling session and that are separate from the rest of the patient's medical record. See 45 CFR

164.501. Psychotherapy notes are primarily for personal use by the treating professional and generally are not disclosed for other purposes. Thus, the Privacy Rule includes an exception to an individual's (or personal representative's) right of access for psychotherapy notes. See 45 CFR 164.524(a)(1)(i).

However, parents generally are the personal representatives of their minor child and, as such, are able to receive a copy of their child's mental health information contained in the medical record, including information about diagnosis, symptoms, treatment plans, etc.

Further, although the Privacy Rule does not provide a right

for a patient or personal representative to access psychotherapy notes regarding the patient, HIPAA generally gives providers discretion to disclose the individual's own protected health information (including psychotherapy notes) directly to the individual or the individual's personal representative. As any such disclosure is purely permissive under the Privacy Rule, mental health providers should consult applicable State law for any prohibitions or conditions before making such disclosures.

https://depts.washington.edu/bhdept/ethics-medicine/bioethics-topics/detail/82#:~:text=If%20the%20physician%20has%20some,justified%20to%20withhold%20truthful%20information.

Other recourses for autism and special interests

[myrthing]

Thoughts that don't help when you're trying to sleep:

"Hey, remember that person who told you they were probably autistic, and they were going to get another evaluation, because the first time they were tested as a teenager the conclusion was that they weren't on the spectrum, but now they're saying they didn't get diagnosed as a teenager because they deliberately lied to the tester because they didn't want to be autistic back then?"

And the answer, brain, is that yes, I do remember, and do I have to bring up stuff that upsets me while I'm trying to sleep?

It's been a couple of years, and I'm old enough I really shouldn't still be bothered by this memory, but here I am.

Just the idea that you could lie your way out of an ASD diagnosis. It took a little while to recognise just how much the idea hurt me, because I'm so used to shrugging off my own emotions, and the person thought it was a Funny Story™️ so I treated it as one initially.

I'm level 1 autistic, and I was diagnosed when I was nearly an adult, after I burnt out of high school when I had previously been a gifted high achiever my whole life; do you seriously think I went into my evaluations excited about maybe having autism?

[luischocolatier]

14th of March, day of High Intellectual Capacity

Today's the day of HIC or as it it commonly known, "giftedness".

It is a very misunderstood neurodivergence that causes people that have it, both diagnosed and undiagnosed, a lot of big issues.

People tend to see it as a label that people who do good in school are given, but it's far, far from it.

It's closer to the autism or ADHD spectrums, in this case being a series of cognitive and behavioral patterns that lets the person have more creativity and a faster processing of information while also causing developmental problems, such as bad emotional regulation, underdeveloped social skills and a lot of other problems, sometimes even physical or psychological lacks.

And the problem doesn't end there. Because of the popular perception of what being HIC or gifted is (basically a smartass who loves being right and correcting people and being awarded things at school), many kids (and often adults too) who get the diagnosis are instantly labeled with a stigma, allowing people to freely bully them because they're the "big brain with no emotions" which can't be further from the truth.

This combined with the pressures that parents put on children when they get labeled as HIC because of their supposed potential, can result in stress, academic and professional failure, and higher rates of depression and even suicide.

Today's a very important day for this stigmatized neurodivergence, and so, I must say

I AM GIFTED. I AM HIGH INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY. I AM OKAY. I AM PROUD.

[noisycowboyglitter]

Butterfly Heart Take These Broken Wings and Learn to Fly: Perfect Gift for Dreamers

"Butterfly Heart Take These Broken Wings And Learn To Fly" combines powerful imagery and lyrics to create an inspiring message of resilience and transformation. This phrase blends the symbolism

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of butterflies with a line from the Beatles' song "Blackbird," resonating with those who have faced adversity and emerged stronger.

The butterfly represents metamorphosis, beauty, and the delicate strength found in nature. Its journey from caterpillar to winged creature parallels personal growth and overcoming challenges. The heart symbolizes emotion, love, and the core of one's being.

"Take these broken wings and learn to fly" speaks to the human capacity for healing and self-improvement. It suggests that even when we feel broken or damaged, we have the innate ability to rise above our circumstances and soar.

This concept often appears in various forms of art and merchandise:

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Inspirational posters or wall art featuring butterflies and the quote

Jewelry, such as necklaces or bracelets, incorporating butterfly and heart designs with the phrase

Tattoo designs combining these elements

Self-help or motivational books using this theme

Clothing items like t-shirts or hoodies with the imagery and words

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The message resonates particularly with individuals who have experienced trauma, loss, or significant life changes. It serves as a reminder that personal struggles can lead to growth and that beauty can emerge from pain. This empowering concept encourages people to embrace their experiences, heal, and ultimately transform their lives for the better.

Butterfly Gifts for Adults offer a sophisticated and whimsical touch to gift-giving. These presents cater to grown-ups who appreciate the delicate beauty and symbolism of butterflies. Popular options include elegant jewelry pieces such as butterfly-shaped pendants, earrings, or brooches crafted from precious metals and gemstones. Home decor enthusiasts might enjoy butterfly-themed wall art, decorative pillows, or high-quality glass paperweights featuring preserved specimens.

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For fashion-conscious adults, consider silk scarves or ties with subtle butterfly patterns. Nature lovers might appreciate butterfly identification guides, photography books, or garden accessories designed to attract these graceful creatures. Practical yet stylish items like butterfly-embossed leather journals or desk organizers make thoughtful gifts for professionals.

These gifts blend mature aesthetics with the transformative symbolism of butterflies, appealing to adults who value both beauty and meaning in their possessions.

[spayki]

Savant syndrome is a condition in which an individual with a developmental disorder has exceptional intellectual gifts in one or more specific areas like, enhanced memory. Often, these individuals are on the autism spectrum. The condition can be congenital, or can be acquired later in childhood, or even in adults. Typically, a particular skill occurs singularly in each person with savant syndrome. However, in some instances multiple skills occur in the same person. Regardless of the type of skill, it is always combined with exceptional memory.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Tilly in Technicolor Book Review 🦇

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

❝ "Like a crystal prism. You absorb the world around you but somehow release this brilliant spectrum of colors through your words that people see themselves in. It's a gift." ❞

❓ #QOTD What would you name your signature nail polish color? (Shatter the Stars purple or The Blood of My Enemies red for me)❓ 🦇 Tilly Twomley is a chaotic rainbow, while Oliver Clark is a constant midnight sky. When they're seated beside one another on a flight to London, even the smallest interactions--from taking their seats to ketchup explosions--seem to end in disaster. They have no clue they'll be working together all summer, interning for Tilly's sister's nail polish start-up. Between Tilly's ADHD and Oliver's autism, their different ways of communicating and seeing the world tend to clash...while bringing them together, too.

💜 The books that take me by surprise are always the most difficult to review. Mazey Eddings' YA debut is a stunning exploration of two neurodivergent minds; a story only Eddings could have written, as she was diagnosed with both ADHD and autism herself. It's evident in the internal dialogue, which grants readers vivid insight into both beautifully unique minds. Tilly is a relatable young adult with no idea how she fits in the world with her mind's unique wiring, while Ollie is eager to design a future for himself, despite his inability to process situations at times. Tilly's boundless energy and mood swings clash with Ollie's preference for familiarity and control. Their differences create the perfect opposites attract romance with beautiful neurodivergent representation from someone who understands both mindsets personally. The chapter titles are fun, the character growth is natural, and the supporting cast brings depth to both Tilly and Ollie's worlds. Tilly in Technicolor is hopeful, charming, and heartwarming all at once; a full spectrum of emotion we don't get often enough.

🦇 I could praise this book for ages, but it does have an unsteady start. Despite the delicious slow burn, the transition from coworkers to friends to lovers wasn't as smooth as I would have liked. I also think the tense relationship between Tilly and her mother was resolved too easily. As someone with parents who "want what's best" but can't empathize with certain conditions (in my case, depression and anxiety), Tilly's mother's sudden acceptance felt too abrupt. The ending felt abrupt as well; this was one of the few times I would have appreciated an epilogue.

🦇 Recommended to any YA lovers looking for a beautiful, unique coming-of-age story. Though it certainly has its fluffy moments, the story is also real and raw; a must-read. (I do think we should categorize this as New Adult, though.)

✨ The Vibes ✨ ❤️ Neurodiversity Rep (Autism & ADHD) 💜 YA Debut 💙 Meet Cute Disaster 🗼 Traveling Europe 💛 First-Person Dual POV 💚 Slow Burn 🤍 Forced Proximity

❝ "They don't have the right to make you feel uncomfortable to fit their ideas of what's proper." ❞

🦇 Major thanks to the author @mazeyeddings and publisher @stmartinspress / @wednesdaybooks for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley @netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #TillyinTechnicolor

[autimind]

Myths about Autism #2 - And they call us rigid?

It is often claimed, not entirely unfairly, that autistic people behave rigidly. We are told that we should loosen up or learn to understand how the world works. Although all of that might be true, certainly for some, it is a decidedly one-sided way of looking at social interaction. It invalidates the autistic experience of life by taking it as given that the way most people behave is therefore good and right and all else is strange and inconvenient.

Many people on the spectrum do show rigidity in the way they deal with situations, most often when rules are important. However, allistic people show rigidity as well, just in different situations. They tend to be blind to their own rigidity because they see their own lived experience as natural and normal.

One of the people in my contact group for adults with autism recalled a situation. A game was played around one of our national holidays which distributed wrapped gifts and had people unpack these, trade them or give them away according to the roll of a die. These rules were clearly explained beforehand. So far so good. However, one of the participants issued a rule change halfway through because the progress of the game was, according to them, too slow. They had no official or stated authority to do so, by the way. Our member protested because the rules were simply the rules. They could not be changed just like that. She was told not to be so contrary and asked why she didn't understand that the change was logical and right?

The entire unpleasant situation could have been prevented by clearly stating that there was a problem - the game progressed too slowly - then proposing a solution - change the results of dice throws - and then allowing the particpants to weigh in. It is true that many autistic people need time to process changes like this.

However, the allistic participants showed no sign at all of any understanding and reacted with bafflement, even low-key anger. They could not conceive that there was any problem so the one person who protested was treated as if she was out of order and a nuisance. More importantly, this was not expressed in a clear and succint sentence but in many people exclaiming over eachother.

In short, allistic people in general tend to expect a very precise pattern of behaviour from others - which they seldom explain - and they simply assume that everything that is clear to them in their own mind is therefore good and true and clear to all others. If anything goes against their expectations, they can show tremendous trouble accepting that fact. Is this not rigidity?

Allistic and autistic people both show rigidity at times but differ markedly in which situations trigger that behaviour. Building inclusive environments would be greatly helped if more people were conscious of this simple fact.

[talesfrommedinastation]

Let's Talk Neurodivergence and Relationships

(originally posted on Wattpad, but I figured Tumblr could use a version of this as well. I'd like to think this is fairly fandom blind, but if not, let me know)

Hi kids!

First and foremost, I am a cisgendered adult woman on the autism spectrum myself. I am considered very high functioning, as I can manage social situations and keep my stims under control, thanks to a lot of work of medication, caring occupational therapists, and other professionals who have gifted me tips and tricks to better function.  

With that being stated, throughout my life, I have struggled with peer to peer contact, prefer to be alone, have issues with especially loud or bright atmospheres, will info-dump, the works (Of course, Tech from The Bad Batch was going to quickly become my favorite! When it was confirmed that he was ASD, I cheered!).

(above) Tech No-Last-Name, all hail our neurodivergent king of snark and sass. 

With that being stated, in real life, I have been in a steady romantic relationship for over the last dozen years, to a neurotypical man. Half of those years, we have been married, and trust me, our marriage is successful by society's standards. We got the mortgage, the two cars, a few graduate degrees, our busy careers, and most joyfully, our wonderful children. 

It never ceases to amaze me: I am on the autism spectrum, and I have a stable, romantic partnership with a neurotypical individual who loves me for who I AM. 

Over the last few years, I've served on panels for ND individuals regarding relationships, dating, and starting families, so I feel as if I am especially qualified to discuss this subject, especially as a significant portion of my crossover piece between Star Wars and The Expanse, Far Past The Ring, does deal with intimate subjects. Be warned*.

(above) Dr. Sjael Drummer, who somehow can rock a fierce matte lip stain in the field? Art commissioned by the incredible @matthewyeetz. The character is mine.

While not the main part of the story, the intimate parts between Tech and Dr. Drummer are the match that's tossed on the proverbial dumpster that's been filled with gasoline and lighter fluid. Once the intimate parts of done, things get very action oriented and the romance is left in the freakin' dust for the most part.

In many ways, this part of 'Far Past the Ring' is a retelling of the love story closest to me, which is that of me and my husband. I should mention that he, in many ways, reminds me so much of Tech, even if I'm the ND individual in the marriage! 

So this is not fantasy, kids. This is, in many ways, the story of how my husband and I met. And how our relationship has worked since we met in graduate school. 

Here are some things that have made my marriage work so well (and that I'd like you to notice as you continue to read this story, even when things get complicated–because they are going to!): 

How to be in a relationship with an ND individual (including someone like Tech): 

Boundaries are your friend: I do not like being touched, grabbed, or suddenly hugged without communicating that I am okay with it. Touch for me can feel incredibly uncomfortable, even though my loved ones adore doing it as a sign of affection. People are unpredictable, and if a person has their hands on me, it fills me with anxiety. It literally makes me flinch, and in later episodes, when Tech is touched without his permission, it is upsetting for me to watch. If you notice, Sjael does not touch Tech unless she asks him permission first. She respects his personal bubble, and does not attempt to pop it unless asked. When she does–and she will, because mistakes happen–she apologizes. Both her and Tech are good at communicating due to their lines of work, and that leads me to...

Infodumping means I like you: Getting me (or many other ND individuals) to blabber on a subject I'm especially passionate about isn't difficult, but I will generally only do it with people I feel comfortable with. Take note that, after a bit, Tech absolutely dumps all sorts of information onto his team mates or others (look how excited he is to talk about droids at a moments' notice on Cid!). This eventually includes Sjael, who, whether it is her own experience in graduate school or coming from a family of eggheads, enjoys it. She never rolls her eyes or interrupts him--she genuinely likes what he has to say. If you can't handle an ND individual's verbal and intellectual passion about a subject, you may want to rethink the relationship. Speaking of which...

Communication is key: Tech loves to talk, but, if you've watched the latest season of 'The Bad Batch', you'll remember that intimate eye contact can be scary for him ('The Crossing' is the most glaring example), as it is for me and other individuals on the spectrum. Sjael, being a Belter from 'The Expanse', is used to talking from behind a mask or a helmet, so using hand gestures and signals, rather than direct eye contact, is not a big jump for her. Additionally, because of Belter culture, Sjael grew up being blunt, direct, and very expressive when need be, as life on the Belt is harsh and fast, and subtly is a luxury few can afford. This works well with Tech's neurodiversity, as Sjael's very emotive face and hands makes it easy for him to gather social cues when he's too exhausted otherwise. Take note of how often he stares at her eyebrows or mouth during the story, it's quite helpful for him. Being able to communicate--easy for a talker like Tech--is so important, as social cues might  be missed. 

Respect (it's not just a song): ND individuals may seem quirky, but have the same breadth, experience, and agency as anyone else. One of the first things Tech learns about Sjael is that she is a scientist and engineer, with a Ph.D in chemical engineering. He recognizes that she's someone who might be able to get toe-to-toe with him, without being belittling or mean. Sjael, meanwhile, learns that Tech is a soldier with multiple skills that outrank her own, especially in programming and mechanics. While he has quirks, she quickly sees his strength and intellect, making her see him as a peer (and a threat, but that's neither here nor there). There isn't just mutual attraction, but respect as well. Both are intellectual equals (Tech will not admit that, but it is true!), and genuinely are interested in not only learning with each other, but learning together. Sjael does not patronize him, instead viewing him as a person with different experiences and abilities. 

I hope this was helpful for understanding how these relationships can work.

One of the biggest issues I have seen with neurodiverse individuals is the concept of infantilizing them or subjecting them to romantic interests as a way to 'fix' them. Or by pushing boundaries, even when someone is uncomfortable. 

ND folks do not need to be fixed, they need to be loved and accepted for who they are, quirks and all. 

*= If you're a TechxPhee stan, props! I started writing this crossover back in February, before they became canon. And before other, well, more tragic things in March became canon as well :(.

But it's fairly obvious that Clone Force 99 wasn't going to run into the world of 'The Expanse' any time soon on the show, so consider this a branch of a lovely river that's going in a different direction :).

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Even More Real Parts

So my kid is in high school, and he got involved in something this year at school, which means J and I are spending more time at high school (especially me, because J works outside home and can't make it to every high school Thing our son needs to show up at/participate in). And I don't know if any of you other Gen X/Millennial folks have noticed this, but the 90s are somehow now the Nostalgic Throwback Fashion high school kids are recycling. It's fucking bizarre. Sometimes while I'm sitting in the school pick up lot, watching the children myself and my peers created walk out of school it's legit like I traveled back in time 20-30 years. One ginger kid walked out holding a trumpet case and wearing baggy basketball shorts and high tops with black short socks when it was under 50 degrees outside, and I almost texted A to ask him if there was an unknown heir up here somewhere in my son's school district. Or maybe I hadn't fallen into some crack in the space-time continuum. It was freakish and wild. (Seriously the kid looked just like A did 28 years ago standing there waiting on a ride, trumpet case and all).

Anyway, all this shit is a lead into me thinking almost involuntarily about high school, and that makes me think about my first boyfriend. I talk a whole bunch about J and he's the love of my life, and I consider him my first love, because I really didn't feel or understand romantic love until I met J (no shit), but I did get REAL lucky as a guilt-ridden, almost totally asexual, maybe on the autism spectrum, naive nerd with my first boyfriend in high school. He was (and still is) a gem. For serious. I could not have done better and he set the bar pretty fucking high for sequential relationships, and I'm damn glad he did. Because I know from even adult friendship experience, getting taken in by a shitbag in a romantic/dating setting could have been catastrophic. He gave me the gift of high standards. He gave me, 'G would never say that...do that...act like that with/for/to me, so you can go kick rocks, you dumb fucker...'

The way G let Shy and Oblivious Me know he was interested was so creative and sweet and brave. Truly very Knight in Shining Armor type shit. He did it in the 8th grade before we split up to go to different high schools, which was temporarily tragic because it takes me a while, even with very CLEAR expression to accept that a person could actually like me. But I eventually figured it out when we were attending those different high schools, and it (obviously temporarily, but importantly, I think) worked out. And G was my first kiss ever, and it was literary. Like it really happened in Sappy Rom/Com Style. And I wrote those things as they happened into my story, Admission. So there they are. I'd apologize for the length, but I'm not really sorry, honestly. Between A and G and J? I'm not sorry for being me all the time like I used to be.

With my son having a rough time of things at the beginning of the school year, I've found myself spending a lot of time searching for the good parts of high school, so I could highlight them for him. So I could share with my son what helped me survive. A and G were the best parts of high school for me, and there were times when they were the only good parts. I've never thought of G as anything other than a good part. I wish there was a way that people (especially men) would accept a sincere thank you for making your life better. G made my life better, even though we didn't grow up and get married. A makes my life better just being my friend. But it makes them feel weird if I directly tell them that, so I write them into fiction. In the beginning of Admission, the real parts are G.

[pudding-parade]

So I had a bathtub wonderment, one of those odd thoughts that strike me while lounging in my tub. It's about autism, and I have no idea if it's at all sound, so feel free to tell me how wrong I am. Here's the main thought, with more detail behind the cut:

What if being on the autism spectrum is actually typical and not being on the spectrum is atypical?

Look, I'm old, from before it was known that autism is a spectrum. When I was a kid, "autistic" was a description only applied to someone who was completely non-verbal, non-interactive, and constantly banging their head against a wall. Everyone else just had various "difficulties." But now, as An Old nearing the age of 60, the more I learn about the spectrum, the more I notice that I check the boxes and always have.

I have huge sensory issues and get easily overwhelmed by smells (especially) and sound. (Which might seem ironic, given that I am a concert pianist and symphonic musician, but it's chaotic sound, like when a lot of people are talking at once or loud, surround-sound movies with lots of sudden noises, that gets me. Music, classical in particular, is very ordered, non-chaotic sound even when loud, and it focuses me rather than overwhelms me.) I have been known to hide in closets with my hands over my ears at parties and conferences and such when it gets too much, especially so when I was younger and hadn't developed the coping mechanisms that I have now.

Food textures bother me greatly, to the point that I don't like certain foods not because of the taste but because their textures (or their smell, in the case of fish/seafood) make me gag.

I am very gifted in one area -- music, having been a child prodigy -- and completely average or even below in most others.

While I can force myself to be social and outgoing because I've developed coping mechanisms over the years, I greatly prefer to be alone or with just one or two other people who I know very well and can "read" well.

I have very…er, focused…esoteric interests that I will completely nerd out on at length that other people find completely baffling/boring. (Like climates, for instance. :) And dinosaurs, when I was a kid, when they weren't quite as popular as they are now.)

These are, apparently, all "symptoms" of autism, particularly in adults. I haven't been diagnosed and wouldn't seek to be now because, at this point, it doesn't negatively affect my life, but I strongly suspect that I could get a diagnosis, if I pursued one. But the thing is that most people I know in real life seem to check a lot of the boxes, too. Granted, that could just be the company I keep, with like attracting like, but I also notice it a lot online. Which, again, could simply be because people on the autism spectrum feel more comfortable being and communicating online. I don't know. It just seems to me like more people are neurodivergent to some degree than not, yet we've built a world/society that caters to those who aren't.

This could be explained if we, as a species, are gradually evolving toward autism as typical, maybe not in terms of genetics but rather in epigenetic ways brought on by the fact that, for instance, we are slowly becoming more isolated from each other due to things like the development of the concept of nuclear rather than multi-generational families living together as well as by the internet/technology, where it's possible to instantly communicate with people all over the world, even have friendships/relationships with them, and yet never physically interact with them. In such a world, autism actually has advantages, so there might be selection pressure for it and corresponding pressure against what has always been perceived as "normal."

Anyway, that was my thought. I'm not a psychologist, obviously, so I wouldn't be surprised if my thought is a load of hooey. :) But, it was interesting to entertain.