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#adult butterfly gifts
noisycowboyglitter · 1 month
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Butterfly Heart Take These Broken Wings and Learn to Fly: Perfect Gift for Dreamers
"Butterfly Heart Take These Broken Wings And Learn To Fly" combines powerful imagery and lyrics to create an inspiring message of resilience and transformation. This phrase blends the symbolism
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of butterflies with a line from the Beatles' song "Blackbird," resonating with those who have faced adversity and emerged stronger.
The butterfly represents metamorphosis, beauty, and the delicate strength found in nature. Its journey from caterpillar to winged creature parallels personal growth and overcoming challenges. The heart symbolizes emotion, love, and the core of one's being.
"Take these broken wings and learn to fly" speaks to the human capacity for healing and self-improvement. It suggests that even when we feel broken or damaged, we have the innate ability to rise above our circumstances and soar.
This concept often appears in various forms of art and merchandise:
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Inspirational posters or wall art featuring butterflies and the quote
Jewelry, such as necklaces or bracelets, incorporating butterfly and heart designs with the phrase
Tattoo designs combining these elements
Self-help or motivational books using this theme
Clothing items like t-shirts or hoodies with the imagery and words
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The message resonates particularly with individuals who have experienced trauma, loss, or significant life changes. It serves as a reminder that personal struggles can lead to growth and that beauty can emerge from pain. This empowering concept encourages people to embrace their experiences, heal, and ultimately transform their lives for the better.
Butterfly Gifts for Adults offer a sophisticated and whimsical touch to gift-giving. These presents cater to grown-ups who appreciate the delicate beauty and symbolism of butterflies. Popular options include elegant jewelry pieces such as butterfly-shaped pendants, earrings, or brooches crafted from precious metals and gemstones. Home decor enthusiasts might enjoy butterfly-themed wall art, decorative pillows, or high-quality glass paperweights featuring preserved specimens.
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For fashion-conscious adults, consider silk scarves or ties with subtle butterfly patterns. Nature lovers might appreciate butterfly identification guides, photography books, or garden accessories designed to attract these graceful creatures. Practical yet stylish items like butterfly-embossed leather journals or desk organizers make thoughtful gifts for professionals.
These gifts blend mature aesthetics with the transformative symbolism of butterflies, appealing to adults who value both beauty and meaning in their possessions.
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streetmaille · 1 month
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Learn to make a beautiful butterfly pendant out of tiny rings with my fun chainmail DIY Kit!
Choose your pattern at: https://streetmaille.etsy.com/listing/660718261
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sacredsorceress · 1 month
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Meet Cute with Logan Would Include... || Wolverine Headcanons
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pairing: logan howlett (wolverine) x mutant!f!reader summary: you're a new teacher at the school and logan is interested in you from your first meeting a/n: i'm admittedly projecting with the fact that reader teaches history but just a little blurb because logan's been on my mind and i need to get work done <33 lmk if you want me to make this into an actual fic!! warnings: none, all fluff
masterlist | inbox | tip jar (ko-fi)
when you first arrive at the school as a teacher (and late blooming mutant) charles introduces you to logan
logan has a typical scowl on his face and glances at you up and down
so you begin to worry that you've worn the wrong outfit or presented yourself poorly and now an infamous wolverine dig is about to be thrown your way
but instead, he takes a puff of his cigar, and looks back at charles
"you have a rule about only recruiting good-looking teachers or something?"
and what an array of relief (and butterflies) do you get from that
"yes, very funny, logan. however, y/n here has a phd. I've brought her on to teach the students"
"yeah? and what's your "gift"?" (mutation)
he has a coy look on his face
"oh logan, that's a bit personal..." you said with faux seriousness. "buy me a drink first."
for the first time, you saw him smile. a chuckle reverberated in his chest.
"fair enough."
after that interaction charles escorted you out of the room but as you went, logan's eyes were trained on you.
intrigued, he took another puff of his cigar and smiled to himself.
on your first night there, once all the children have gone to sleep and all the adults have gone to their own rooms for the night you hear a knock on your door.
and guess who it is?
you hate to admit it but god, does he look so hot and suave standing in your doorway.
logan's hair is in a typical mess and his flannel has a few more buttons undone than it did this morning,
and although he's rough around the edges and not as necessarily openly friendly as the others, he exudes confidence- especially as he leans against your doorframe.
"you said i owed you a drink."
although he takes you to the diviest dive bar in town, you have such a good time.
after a little bit of awkwardness, the two of you found your footing and you end up talking (flirting) for hours
well, in actuality, you do most of the talking but boy does he like listening to you talk and watching your eyes light up while you laugh at some of your own stories
on the way back to the mansion, he opens the car door for you
"thank you."
"don't mention it" (he's blushing a little)
on the ride back he tries to be as smooth as possible, one arm draped over the passenger seat while the other rests on the steering wheel
he keeps taking quick glances at you as you hum along to the song on the radio and even though you just met he's already thinking about how he could get used to this
he walks you back to your room and as much as he wants to make another move (and you do too) he doesn't want to mess up your relationship before its even started
i mean, you're living in the same place?? what happens if you don't like it?? and you end up hating him?? now his suave demeanor has crumbled under the weight of realising this is actually real and not a game
"I'll.. uh... be down the hall if you need me."
"thanks, logan" you smile softly and he thinks its the first time anyone's done that in over a decade and meant it
when he starts walking down the hall, you call out in a whisper
"oh and logan!" you pause. "sweet dreams."
before he can say anything the door of your bedroom shuts
a stupid, silly grin coats his face so big that he rubs his hand across his cheeks in fear anyone would catch the big bad wolverine becoming a softie for the teacher he's got the hots for
although you've just met, you've got him wrapped around your finger and he can barely believe it
shoving his hands in his pocket, logan shakes his head and laughs on the way to his own bedroom
"fuck."
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ambros1an · 5 months
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arlecchino x reader: affections
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warnings: none. bug talk. soft arle
summary: “affections left unreturned suit me perfectly,” she tells you, but she can’t help but long for more.
a/n: did I write a fic solely based off her “spider” voice line? yes 👍
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As a child growing up in the hearth, Peruere had little friends. Most days she would spend outside, back in a corner where a spider would be her companion. She would pick up insects between her fingers and launch them into its web. In return, she got nothing.
As expected. She liked that.
“Affections left unreturned suit me perfectly,” she tells you.
As an adult, Arlecchino has little friends. Most days she spends her time outside, where she’s greeted by you.
“I’ve been expecting you. Come sit.” Arlecchino hands over a plate of today’s limited edition cake. She knows it’s your favorite. And she expects nothing in return.
“Thank you,” you dig your fork in and hold it up to your mouth, but then pause, “but where’s your piece?”
“I did not feel the need to get one,” she shakes her head, “your presence alone is satisfactory.”
“That won’t do. I’ll treat you next time.”
“That won’t be necessary,” she looks directly in your eyes this time, crossing her arms in disapproval.
“Hmm…” taking a bite, you stare down at your lap. She stares at you eating the treat with a look of interest that one watches a spider spin a web around its prey. A spider gives no affection. And she is perfectly content with that.
-
Unexpected. She doesn’t like that.
“Arlecchino, I told you I would get you something!” A familiar voice shouts from behind. It’s you. She looks over her shoulder it’s…
“A plain vanilla cake…” You really do know her well. She couldn’t believe you actually listened to her ranting about spiced foods and how bland was better. A twinge of something like unease sets in her stomach.
A gift.
“Arlecchino, are you alright? Did I do something wrong?” You look so serious with your eyebrows furrowed and eyes downcast. A look that doesn’t suit you.
“Apologizes. Thank you for the sweets. I appreciate your gesture of kindness.” She watches your expression change, looking up at her with- was that shyness?
Your gaze shifts off to the side, hand rubbing the back of your neck in an awkward manner. Uncharacteristic. Once again unexpected.
However, this time the feeling is different. The flames that roam in her blood are all consuming, only there to destroy. But this time they feel different; like little butterfly wings in her stomach.
Who knew a human could catch a spider in their web?
“I suppose I can accept these acts of affections. This time.”
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cred to @/miau-meow-miau for the butterfly divider
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base0h · 1 year
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had this random thought and thought I'd request. what if a random kid just comes over and confesses their love for you (a fully grown adult.) and the one piece men are just standing there like 'wtf is this kid on'
a/n - OML 💀💀💀 I’m laughing so hard right now 😭 anon this idea is hilarious how do you guys think of such funny stuff
Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, it’s a random kid not kidd himself- just wanted to clarify that bec i thought it was kidd, major crack
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- If it wasn’t already apparent, Luffy has made it quite clear that he loves you VERY much
- let’s say you’ve been on this island for maybe about a month, and you love it there! The weather’s nice and cool, there’s a nice ocean breeze, and the sun is always out but not too strong
- you were sitting down on a bench with nami and robin, waiting for Sanji and Luffy to come back from their shopping spree
- suddenly, a kid appeared in front of you, holding a bouquet of flowers and a little hand made present
- “Um-! You’re super cool and pretty/handsome! And- I love you! Please take this gift and these roses!”
- the shock that just froze the three of you
- robin raised an eyebrow while nami burst out laughing, unable to breathe
- “BAHAHAHAHSUBDIDBD- YOU’RE LIKE 22 AND THIS IS A LITTLE ASS KID-“
- “Nami! Be nice! Um… Thanks kid- I like the flowers. But like Nami said- I’m a lot… Older than you.”
- The kid looked like they were about to start sobbing, so you quickly took the flowers and present to make the kid happy
- the present was a little origami heart and a butterfly, it was actually quite adorable
- All of the sudden, Luffy fucking tackled the poor child, flying across the sidewalk
- “Y/N’S MINEEEEEEEEEE!!”
- bro was hissing and growling like a feral monkey at the poor kid wtf 💀
- Sanji had to rip Luffy off the poor child and this grown man was throwing a fit, yelling at this kid
- “Y/N’S MINE! I LOVE THEM!” -luffy
- “I LOVE THEM TOO!” -kid
- “I LOVE THEM MORE!” -luffy
- “NO I DO!” -kid
- this argument continued for about 20 minutes. 20 minutes
- you had to drag Luffy and I mean DRAGGG him back to the sunny while he kept yelling at the kid about how he loved you more
- “Hmph! I bet i could take him in a fight!” -luffy (please keep in mind that this child is like 6)
- “Yeah ok luffy, don’t beat up a child.”
- “I’m a pirate! I’m already a criminal! HEY KID! GET OVER HERE IMMA BEAT YOUR ASS!” *feral screeching*
- “LUFFY NO-!”
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- (rewatched marineford, I promise and swear I did not cry)
- ace is a bit more mature (not a lot) but he’s more mature than Luffy
- it was such a nice day! You and ace were hanging out on an island as a tiny vacation for the crew
- the crew got some ice cream, went shopping, and stocked up on food for the day
- ace, being the gentleman he is, carried all the bags for you, and even bought you THREE scoops of ice cream (y/n pls give me some this weather is ridiculous💀)
- ace was telling you about a story when he was younger, it was mainly about how Luffy was really stupid and loved to eat random mushrooms from the forest
- “He was SO dumb- it was really bad. He hallucinated for like- 2 days, and almost ate Dadan.”
- “HE ALMOST ATE HER?”
- “HIS TEETH WERE AROUND HER ENTIRE ARM.”
- bro Luffy is wild
- all of the sudden, something tapped you on the shoulder, and you turned around, not seeing anybody behind you
- “Um.. Excuse me?”
- The voice was coming from below, and it sounded like a kid’s voice! As you looked down, you saw this cute little child with brown hair and green eyes, their cheeks were bright pink, and they were holding something behind their back
- “Uh hi there! Did you need something from me?”
- “Um… I- I wanted to give these to you.. I picked them myself.”
- this kid was adorable, they were handing you a hand picked bouquet of flowers!! How adorable is that?! You smiled and pat the kid’s head softly, thanking him for the flowers
- ace had a big grin on his face, he found this kid absolutely adorable too
- “Uh- I think you’re super pretty/handsome! And- I think I really love you!”
- now this is where you both froze and stared at the kid with wide eyes, what did this child just tell you?..
- “I’m sorry what?” -you
- “I love you.” -kid
- “What?” -you
- this poor kid was about to cry, this was his first rejection after all 😭 and you could tell if this kid started crying, holy shit this kid’s going to SCREAM
- “Ok- sorry! I was just confused for a sec.. Are you sure you mean me? Not that little kid over there with the pig tails?”
- this kid was determined, shaking their head as they took your hands in theirs
- Ace was struggling, struggling not to just start cackling, the only thing keeping him from laughing was you pinching his arm
- “Ace don’t even think about laughing.”
- “I’m sorry- *wheeze* this is hilarious.”
- Ace’s face was turning red, bro looked like he was choking on food. But you really didn’t know what to say to this kid- I mean- you’re an adult and this is a literal child. Secondly- ace was your boyfriend already
- “Hey kid, how about I buy you some ice cream and we can talk about y/n together eh?” -ace
- The kid smiled and took Ace’s hand. How cute, your boyfriend was talking to this little kid about all the great aspects of you
- You heard about 1009 compliments today, and it warmed your heart 💜💜
- ace is awesome, 100% husband material
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- doesn’t matter if it’s a child, girl, or animal, he’ll cut them up into pieces if they hurt you or his friends
- but outside of his tough demeanor, zoro was actually pretty loving, especially when the sunny was docked on an island and it was just a day to hang out
- he liked taking naps on you, literally anywhere (he sleeps the best on your ass 💀💀)
- today was not a nap day sadly, but as long as he was with you, today would be a great day
- you had dragged him along to stock up on cola and things for the ship, the whole crew was hanging out on this summery island too
- you weren’t sure why you hadn’t invested some berries into getting a leash for your boyfriend because oh my god
- this bitch keeps getting lost
- you could be looking at some cute shoes for two seconds. TWO SECONDS. And this man disappears, and he somehow ends up on the island next to the one you were on 💀💀
- but anyways, you were now holding him by his collar, keeping this dumbass marimo from running off 👍
- “Y/n are we almost done? I’m kinda tired.”
- “In a second.”
- “you’ve been saying that the past hour.”
- zoro’s feet are about to die
- all of the sudden, a kid tapped your shoulder, looking up at you with wide eyes
- “Oh hello! Did you need something?”
- “Um… I have some flowers for you!”
- The kid handed you a nice bouquet of red, white, and pink roses that were all tied together with a lovely ribbon
- Aw- this little kid was so cute! How nice of them to give you some flowers, right?
- “I- I think I really like you!”
- *pause*
- Maybe this wasn’t so nice 😭
- “Sorry what?” -you
- “I like you!”
- “But- you’re a kid!”
- this kid started sobbing, clinging onto your waist like a baby, crying about how they thought you were so pretty/handsome
- “Hey! It’s ok! Can you let go??”
- zoro was getting pissed, he didn’t like it when kids whined and wailed about stuff, especially about you
- zoro pried the kid off, setting him down with a glare, “Get off y/n, they’re mine, get lost kid.”
- “Hey zoro be nicer! It’s just a kid.”
- “NO! I LOVE Y/N” -kid
- basically this is what happened
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- zoro and this literal child were pulling you back and forth, giving you severe whiplash 💀
- “Omg Robin come over here this is hilarious!!” -nami
- “NAMI PLS HELP ME.” -you
- “I think you’re fine y/n! Just wait until robin gets here!!” -nami
- wow what help you are nami 😭😭
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a/n - Luffy hisses at people and growls 💀
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artsykidwolf-2000 · 7 months
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Hello I would like to request something. How eould Sephiroth act when he has a crush on someone? Idc if it's post-Nibelheim or while he's still a Soldier. I leave that up to you. Thank you so much if you do this and have a wonderful day :3
Great question Le Anonymous! This is similar to what I thought for my Ravenroth ship (maybe?) BUT this topic is cute nonetheless. I might just do both ideas! Hope you like these headcanons!
SEPHIROTH CRUSH HEADCANONS
PRE-NIBELHEIM
Sephiroth as a SOLDIER he never really had romantic feelings, even as a teenager. Once he became more of an adult that's when his tables turned.
He would get flustered when Genesis or Angeal made a joke about the person Sephiroth liked. But he hid it well but you could see pink dust on his cheeks. He'd get confused about butterflies in his stomach and why they were there.
As he explores his feelings more, he tries to be braver around his special someone. When he eventually asked them on a date on his free time he was happy. He shined that shy smile of his. He took them to a fancy restaurant and bought them flowers or a little gift for a start. He's a good listener and would mostly let his date take charge of small talk if they were brave, if not he would.
He might take them on a walk or shopping on the next few dates. He has a lot of money to burn! As the relationship progressed he'd eventually confess his attraction. He's still new to all this lovey dovey crap so it'll be a slow start but with the help of his partner he would be just fine and even start to be very romantic on occasion.
Genesis and Angeal would absolutely still tease him about his romantic efforts and Genesis would try and coach him to the behest of Sephiroth's will. Angeal would just tell Sephiroth to be himself and be more gentleman-like and uphold honor in his word. He loves his friends' efforts but he's already had Genesis talk his ear off about Loveless references...Angeal is more tolerable.
Yes Zack would absolutely have his jaw hit the dang floor about hearing about ALL of this and how Sephiroth has a partner. Zack just can't help not hiding his puppy-like wonder.
Sephiroth talks about his mother a lot with their partner. If his partner was willing to research more about if his mother was truly dead or not AND found the truth then you bet your bottom gil he would try and find his real mother and bring justice to Hojo.
POST-NIBELHEIM
Good lawd where to start....
Ok! With Sephiroth off his rocker bc of everything that's happened. Things would be different and difficult to comprehend.
If Sephiroth still had his partner before he went bonkers he would ABSOLUTELY try and keep them with him at all costs. He still loves them but it's slowly creeping into bad territory. If he did not have a partner beforehand he would kinda stalk them like he does Cloud. Leave flowers and candy and whatever else on their doorstep. Then it turns into jewelry or expensive items. Then himself out of the blue.
It creeps the partner out but the love is still there. His good looks and charm works wonders. They try and figure out what went wrong with him. Maybe they try and reverse what happened if they're more than just a normal person. Magic can only go so far.
If their efforts are fruitful then he slowly reverses back to his old self just a bit but can't quite shake off Jenova unless someone destroys her. He also finds out about his real mother. He would search for her with them.
If it was in vain then he would be angered fairly easily. Trying to turn them into more like him or be more loyal or obey him. Regardless if he still had love in his heart.
Sometimes at night, you can hear cries...but from who is up to the mind's desire...
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kyri45 · 4 months
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ISAT Sky Cotl AU Headcanons Masterlist
Here's the masterpost of the AU with all the comic! Feel free to suggest more if you want!! The list will be updated as the story goes to avoid major spoilers
About the Light /Wishcraft
Everything that is triggered originally in SKy in the AU is triggered by wish craft, which is a power that comes directly from the stars.
The island is filled with mechanism that recognize wish craft users and are modelled based on constellations
Most emotes are the equivalent of different forms of advanced craft hand signs, and each can be used like in Sky to activate certain doors (or to be able to call for creatures, or do other stuff like floating etc...)
There's a high concentration of star (wish) magic at the highest point of the Kingdom (where the eye of eden is currently) and if the habitant get's too far away from the island they wont be able to use some of their original abilities derivated from them (like for example they can't regenerate their wing levels)
About the habitant of the Island
Everyone is born naturally, but they all come from a line of people who were moslty made of stardust
The different seasons are periods of time like the chinese years, and are used as a reference for when people were born or even occurred.
People wear pendants with the season symbol they were born in. The season you were born in doesn't necessarily reflect your personality but can influence your passion
Every year, on the birthday of each sky kid, they meditate at the temple of the prince to visit Orbit and gain more power from the stars. They then come back with new "wings" every time. All kids do it with their parents or guardians until the age of 17th, which is the mark of them gaining their 6th wing wedge. From then on, they are officially considered an adult and can fly to orbit by themself. (I'm dividing the sky levels in half, since no one could live up to 200 years, so 4 wings is 5 y/o, 5 wings is 10 y/o, 6 wings is 17/18 y/o, 7 wings is 27 y/o, etc…)
People can decide to follow one of the Elders based on what they want to do in life/ which elder they are closer to (Dawn elder teaches navigation throught the stars, Forest elder teaches creativity and architecture, Valley twins trains your phisical ability and the Vault elder teaches you about the more advanced crafts). After they succeded in all the quests and finished their studies, they are blessed by the elders (which is the equivalent of finish one of the constellations, so you get the same gifts. Yes, the Valley Twin gift is literally them just allowing you to copy their haircut)
Moths are the equivalent of very young kids who still haven’t figured out which kind of person they want to be, which Elder they prefer to follow.
Elders are as big as they are for the same reason of the King in ISAT, the abnormal amount of craft they use is reflected in a collateral effect in their body
About their colture
Paper boats are rituals they used to send messages and wish anonimously, and are crafted so they can't get wet in the water
All capes are crafted so that you are always not too cold or too hot regardless of the climate
Creatures such butterflies, manta, fish and bird all are made of stardust as well, and recognize sky people as one of them and are able to charge them like in Sky
Their language is written with an alphabeth based on constellation shapes
SInce constellations are seasonal you would end up having different events based on the constellation they are under at the moment (days of nature, days of color, days of love, days of fortune)
About Siffrin
lived on the more outside part of the island, in the towns over the black sand beach (isle of dawn) which is the only part of the Kingdom open to visitors, travellers, traders, merchants.
Siffrin was born during the season of Performance and the Performance Guide was one of their first childhood presence during his first years. He continued to be passionated by acting even though he didn't live in Valley, but he and their parent still visited the Village Theather occasionaly to see some of their spectacle.
Had their cape made by his mother as custom, and before coming back to the island could never understand why it was so important that he should always wear it.
Siffrin before the events in the game always felt weird when it rained, was like slowed down and tired and sleepy. (by @forwonderfulpeople)
His call is the bird one (by @lone-owl-s-nest )
About The Wish (AKA The Eye of Eden)
The wish created a cataclysm so big people, not even Elders, can rememeber which was the original wish that caused it.
it made dissapear all people who were on the island, leaving only a spark of their memory
The Wish make you both forget and lose your wish craft power.
Krills are very big sadness
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yongility · 5 months
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NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 3/?
genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.
warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.
word count: +10k?
a/n: I’m sorry this took too long to post!! 😭😭 but I been so busy with college rn, I’m going to graduate this year so I’m like having a lot of work lately, and I wasn’t satisfied with what I was writing so that was the reason it took longer than expected, sorry!
I'm a sucker for cliche stuff so as soon as this fic popped in my mind l had to write it down, english isn't my first language tho.
I'm sorry if this is too long TT, but this is kinda a slowburn? it might contain a lot of parts so wait for part 3! One of the reasons this is long af it's because I would like to show you how Jaehyun and (Y/N's life is before they get together! So pls pls don't skip anything I hope you like it!
if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!
The third day of the week arrived promptly, where (Y/N) found herself comfortably seated in one of the library chairs, with her chemistry books scattered on the table in front of her as she studied for the exams she had coming up, with Jungwoo beside her.
It was becoming her routine for the week; after last Friday's party, what she most desired was to avoid being at home, especially after having an argument with her mother when she returned from the party.
She didn't want to deal with her in a good time.
Annoyed that her mother had thought it was a great idea to take away her right to use her own car as punishment for disobeying her that night and leaving the house... staying in the library seemed the most pleasant option; with silence, able to listen to music through her AirPods, without her mother bothering her every five minutes and being able to review what she had learned in her last classes: it was something she could take advantage of. She took a sip of her vanilla latte, which had been sponsored by Jungwoo, who, in an attempt to apologize for abandoning her in that way during last Friday's party, promised to pay for each of her daily drinks for a week and a half, no matter the cost.
And even though (Y/N) could afford that or even triple, she was still happy about it. Gifted things tasted even better anyway.
Of course, she first gave Jungwoo a -no- beating after telling him everything that had happened during his absence, but still, she appreciated that her friend was okay even though she hadn't heard anything from him until Saturday night.
During these last few days, with a new routine, (Y/N) was almost always in the same places, at the same times, and if she was honest, she was surprised not to have bumped into Jung Jaehyun at any moment.
It was weird; she would normally see him somewhere around the school, either accompanied by Lucas or just sitting on one of the benches while smoking his 'n' cigarette of the day. But simply, since Friday, she hadn't heard anything from him... she hadn't even bumped into Lucas, which increased the level of strangeness, considering he was a social butterfly, he was always around. (Y/N) had been aware of her words after Jaehyun had taken her home: she could no longer continue with whatever deal they had, with all the stress of her own tasks and knowing that no matter what she did, her cousin wouldn't give up his addictions, it was best to give up.
Although it would hurt her soul to know that there was no way to help Daeho.
But thinking about it, she didn't know if she had really been sincere about each going their own way... apparently Jaehyun had taken it very seriously to not show up anywhere, and although (Y/N) knew very well that being close to him didn't bring her anything good... his presence hadn't been so bothersome in the last few days. Really, after sharing a few words and spending more time with him, she couldn't say that she disliked his existence. It was funny if you asked the (Y/N) from a month ago, there would be no way she could have imagined that, somehow, she would be related to none other than Jung Jaehyun, who, on the outside, just seemed to be one more problem.
She tried to stop thinking about it and tried to focus her gaze on the book in front of her, but after a few minutes... it was difficult for her. There was something inside her that made her feel uneasy but she couldn't think what it was.
"There’s a race in Kosmo today" her best friend's voice brought her out of her thoughts.
Kosmo was the neighborhood that was right in the middle of the city, dividing Kwangya and Neo Zone. (Y/N) knew that there were usually illegal races in that area because it was when the rich kids from Kwangya usually dared to compete against Neo Zone.
"And why should I care...?"
"Your cousin will go to bet," Jungwoo replied, interrupting her study session.
The girl opened her eyes in surprise and asked, "How do you know?"
"Daeho told Mingi, and Mingi told me," he replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. The boy fell silent for a moment and cleared his throat. "Don’t you want to go?" He asked curiously.
(Y/N) looked up from her books and observed her friend incredulously. "Why would I want to go?"
"To keep an eye on Daeho," he answered.
"I'm still mad with him, I've decided not to help him anymore. I really tried, I've been trying for the past few years, but he doesn't want help and now I understand," the girl confessed, closing her book and letting out a sigh.
"Still... don't you think it would be fun? Getting out of our comfort zone a bit... seeing what all this racing stuff is about. I've heard they're amazing," Jungwoo insisted.
"Jungwoo, my mom will kill me if she finds out I went to an illegal race," the girl continued, taking a sip of her coffee.
"She won't find out."
"Jungwoo..."
"Come on, (Y/N), we won't even be in Neo Zone, it'll be in Kwangya only. We'll go, watch the race, and leave. We won't even make contact with anyone. We'll go on our own," the boy assured her, moving closer to her. "Please, I think it would be interesting to break out of our routine, just for one night, what could go wrong?"
"Many things could go wrong, Woo," she replied.
"We won't know unless we try," he pouted, clasping his hands together. "Please."
She hated how persuasive her best friend was.
She sighed and shook her head. "Fine, but at the first sign of trouble, we're leaving without a second thought."
"I love you so much," Jungwoo replied, hugging her shoulders.
"And I really hate you."
______________________________________________
The night fell faster than she expected, and among the roar of engines and the intense music that could be heard on the outskirts of Kosmo, (Y/N) felt something cold run through her body.
She could see familiar faces here and there, some of her classmates from Kwangya were in the place, and from the opposite side, the cars and familiar faces of Neo Zone were present.
It was a strange atmosphere for her; she had always played it safe, and now she didn't even know what to think. She felt herself getting closer to Jungwoo to not lose him, the last thing she needed was for them to separate like they did at the party.
She didn't think she could survive alone.
And it's not that she was dumb to think otherwise, but her parents raised her in an environment where they made her believe that she shouldn't do things outside her daily life. (Y/N) was afraid of adventures. Her life was governed by being obedient and doing the right thing; she didn't know when the moment of rebellion she had a few days ago when she left home the night of the party had been wise.
And now finding herself in Kosmo secretly from her mother at an illegal race? She must have gone crazy.
She believed even more so that she had gone crazy when something inside her hoped to run into none other than Jung Jaehyun.
She didn't understand why the urgency of what was happening, and even less why she expected to run into Jaehyun before running into Daeho.
Maybe it was because she found it strange not to have seen him since last Friday's party.
But she knew that if there was one place Jaehyun wouldn't miss... it would be the race tonight.
"Are you looking for Daeho?" Jungwoo asked when he saw her looking around. "He's probably with Mingi."
How could she explain to her friend that the person she was looking for was none other than Jung Jaehyun?
She nodded without saying more, and they both continued on their way while cautiously observing their surroundings. The smell of marijuana and car engines was embedded in the place, the music made their ears ring, and the night breeze made their bodies tremble.
(Y/N)'s eyes drifted away when she noticed Lucas in the distance, having a conversation with another guy. Lucas felt her gaze on him and looked at the girl with confusion before approaching her after apologizing to his companion.
"Hey, Kwangya kiddos, what brings you here on this magnificent night?" Lucas asked enthusiastically.
"We wanted to know what these races are about," Jungwoo replied simply.
"Hmm, interesting," the tall guy nodded. "Well, you're in luck, Jaehyun will race today, are you sure you want to see the show? The best of the area against someone from Yellow Wood," Lucas explained while cracking his fingers slightly.
Upon hearing the guy's name, (Y/N) looked up and paid attention to Lucas's words.
"If you're interested in betting, come to me," Lucas advised.
"I think we're fine like this," said (Y/N).
"Alright, take care. I'll go look for my guy to get him ready for the race," Lucas announced as he patted Jungwoo on the back.
The guy walked away from them with a smile, and Jungwoo responded with one of his own, then he looked at his friend and frowned, "relax, you're anxious."
How could she not be?
But before she could even answer anything, a few meters away, she saw the familiar face she had been looking for. In the distance, the silhouette of Jung Jaehyun was leaning against his car while talking to a few guys from Neo Zone, his neck tattoos weren't very visible due to the darkness of the night but she could distinguish them a bit, then... as if he had called him, Jaehyun's gaze moved to connect with hers, making her freeze in place.
Jaehyun frowned when he saw her standing just a few steps away from him, looking like a lost puppy as she stood beside Jungwoo.
The sight reminded him of a month ago when Daeho had clumsily brought (Y/N) to Neo Zone. Although this time she was accompanied by her best friend, another rich and spoiled kid from Kwangya. He observed the outfit she had decided to wear, once again, just like that time, it wasn't extravagant, no famous brand could be seen in her attire, and the only piece of jewelry she wore was a pair of earrings that definitely looked like gold...
He hoped she wouldn't lose them tonight.
Because they made her look good.
The surprise was evident on the girl's face when she took a better look at the brunet's body, who was now walking towards her, wearing a hoodie with its hood over his head and as he got closer, the darkness of the night was no longer so intrusive. It hadn't been enough to hide the bruises that were scattered across his body.
There was one under his cheek, just below his left eye, and it was reddish, as if it were flushed. Then, looking at the ones between his jaw and his neck, she noticed how they subtly mixed with the ink of the tattoo he had on his neck. That one was difficult to distinguish thanks to the dark lines that adorned that part of his body, but if you paid enough attention, it was alarming.
When she lowered her gaze over his torso and then looked at his hands, she could see the intense shades of red that his knuckles contained, as if ground blood had accumulated on each of them.
It wasn't the first time she had seen Jaehyun or Lucas with a bruise or two on a school day, but it was the first time she had seen it up close.
Her heart was pounding a mile a minute. Why was it suddenly doing this?
"Did you lost your way home?" Jaehyun asked when he was in front of her.
"Jaehyun," she muttered quietly, "... are you okay?"
The girl didn't need much to realize that was the stupidest question she could ask right now, of course he wasn't okay. And although she knew this happened regularly in Jaehyun's life, she couldn't help but fill her head with doubts; what had to happen for him to end up like this?
... was that the reason he hadn't gone to school?
A small smile appeared on the boy's face, and even with the different colors decorating his face, she could still notice the dimples that formed in it.
Why did he still look good?
"I don't think you came here to ask that, Angel," Jaehyun replied mockingly. "I really believed in your whole story about us going on our ways, so what are you doing at a race where most of the spectators are from Neo Zone?"
The girl was left speechless. "Jungwoo brought me here."
"Well, if that's the case, enjoy the races, I think it'll be fun for you to spice up your Wednesday nights a bit," he continued with a sarcastic smile.
"What happened to you?" She asked again.
Jaehyun didn't answer.
He had gotten himself into big trouble... all thanks to Jeno.
He had trusted that all his merchandise would be sold by the time Monday came around, but after being at Johnny Suh's party, where other dealers were also present, he didn't manage to sell what he needed.
He had a little less than half left in his pockets and in Lucas's.
Luck had not been on his side this time, and when he had to be accountable to Lee Sooman, he had to take responsibility for his brother's actions. And despite telling him that he would not take care of him like he used to after the argument they had... he'd much rather take the beatings he had received than see Jeno the way he did in the mirror.
That time, it really felt eternal. He still remembers the angry (but also mocking) look Sooman had on his face when Jaehyun and Lucas brought the money to his office and after asking Lucas none too kindly to leave, that was when Jaehyun knew what was coming.
With Cheol Uk by his side, leading him out of the office to the vacant lot not far from the warehouse, Jaehyun could do nothing but accept what was coming.
It was one blow after another, and he knew well that at that moment, defending himself was not something he should do or he would end up worse.
He remembers feeling every punch with tremendous pain, and all he could think about was Jeno and how he would have felt if it had been him getting beaten up.
At least Jaehyun was used to the beatings and had no choice; he already knew that all of this was part of being someone from Neo Zone, so he simply had to continue to comply with what Sooman demanded to the letter unless he wanted to end up again in the position he was in.
What felt like hours was really just a few minutes; Cheol Uk stopped hitting him after a while and without saying more, he left. Leaving Jaehyun in the middle of the vacant lot with a broken lip and eyebrow as he spat blood and reached for his abdomen for some support to get up and walk to where he knew Lucas was waiting for him.
How much more? How much longer would he have to keep with all of this?
But, right now, it wasn't something he should talk about.
"It's really not something you need to know," he replied with a smirk. "You came to enjoy the race, right? Then do it, I'll be running in a few minutes, if you don't get scared by the atmosphere here before that, I'm sure you'll want to see me," Jaehyun continued, winking at her.
"I think it'll be fun to see you in second place," the girl teased.
"Baby... I always win," Jaehyun bragged, looking her directly in the eyes.
It was then that the girl didn't say anything else, she just kept her gaze on his. She hated feeling intrigued by Jaehyun himself. Because right now she didn't even feel like she was in Kosmo, with Jaehyun in front of her looking directly at her, she didn't even feel real. She was getting into fire and she knew it.
And she didn't know if she could escape from it.
For a moment she felt a heaviness on her shoulders and warmth surrounded her, causing her to snap out of her thoughts and notice that the jacket that Jaehyun was wearing over his hoodie was now over her body.
"You were trembling like a chihuahua," Jaehyun explained. "Don't consider it an act of kindness, I'm just returning the favor after having done my jobs those two weeks... at least now they won't kick me out of school this evaluation period," he continued.
"I'm not sure if I should feel good knowing that I'm indirectly helping an illegal business," she replied, adjusting the jacket.
"No one needs to know," he replied. "Good luck tonight, don't get lost too much because things get interesting," he said, and without further ado, he turned around to go back to his friends.
(Y/N) stood perplexed in her place, and it was then that she felt Jungwoo's presence next to her.
"What was that?"
"I have no idea."
_______________________________________________
The next morning, after putting her books back in her backpack, (Y/N) looked at the jacket folded inside her bag, feeling a heaviness and remembering the events of the previous night.
The rumors were true... Jung Jaehyun was the best street racer in the area, because he not only competed once the day before, but two more times, winning 3 victories in a short time, and to be honest, it had been impressive.
She hadn't run into him again after the brief conversation they had, and even though she had been waiting for it... she and Jungwoo bolted from the place when they heard the police sirens approaching Kosmo.
The last thing she needed was for her parents to find out about her escapade.
She didn't hear anything from Daeho the night before, she even doubted if he had really gone to the race.
She didn't want to give too much importance to the situation, which is why she chose to continue her path through the school hallways, hoping to return the jacket that was at the bottom of her bag and trying to divert her thoughts to something other than Jaehyun.
And as if she had summoned him, she saw him under the entrance roof as he leaned against the wall and took a drag from the cigarette in his hands. (Y/N) checked the day's weather and cursed when she noticed the raindrops falling lightly. She had forgotten about today's forecast.
Jaehyun was lost in his thoughts as he watched the rain and let out the smoke in his chest.
The bruises were still visible.
She stopped abruptly to take the jacket out of her bag and, without saying anything, approached him and handed it back to him.
Jaehyun looked at her with a raised eyebrow and blew out the smoke from his lungs.
"You're welcome," Jaehyun said as he took the jacket in his hands.
"Yes, thank you," she said, feeling her cheeks flush.
"Where did you park your car?" Jaehyun asked out of nowhere.
"I didn't bring it with me, my mom confiscated it," she blurted out without thinking, and when she turned to look at Jaehyun, she noticed a mocking smile on his face.
"Oh, mom took away your Porsche," he pouted mockingly and shook his head. "Come on, I'll take you home."
"I'm fine, Jaehyun. Thanks," she said as she looked at the rain.
"Come on, it wouldn't be the first time I've taken you. Plus, the school won't be closing anytime soon."
She thought about all the possibilities that crossed her mind, but something about her was excited to think about the ride home.
"Where's your car?"
______________________________________________
It was fortunate that his car was nearby.
Jaehyun turned on the heater as soon as they got into the car, and without further ado, the journey began.
It was just like the first time they had been together in the same car. Without saying anything, both with their eyes focused on the road, and it was then that they both realized that they didn't have a topic of conversation. The few times they had interacted had been about their interests and what they needed from each other at the moment. However, Jaehyun didn't know anything about (Y/N) that he hadn't heard at school, and (Y/N) didn't know anything about Jaehyun that she hadn't heard in the hallways or from her parents about the people from Neo Zone.
At this point, they weren't even acquaintances.
They had just coincided in something and that was it.
(Y/N) took the opportunity to send a text message to Jungwoo and tell him that he no longer needed to pick her up, without explaining more, she sent the text and subsequently, Jaehyun's phone rang.
The boy sighed and cautiously looked for a quick place to park even with the sound of the mobile phone ringing filling the car. He took the device and (Y/N) could notice the slight tension that seized Jaehyun's body as he read the caller ID, without thinking twice he answered the call.
The brunette felt weird being able to hear Jaehyun's conversation, so she tried to distract herself with something else. First with her phone, then looking out the window where she could see the rain beginning to dissipate, and then she could hear a "I'll be there in a moment" that made her react and turn to see him end the call.
The boy scratched his neck and then brought his hands to his face to rub it, let out a deep sigh, and looked at (Y/N).
“Uh, I need to do something quickly and your house is still a bit far... Do you mind if we stop by that place first? It's on the way” he asked with no other option.
“Does this has to do with your job?” She asked.
It took him a moment to respond: — No, it's not about my job. You can stay in the car, it's just that, I really need to get there.
After seeing Jaehyun's face and not being able to decipher what he was trying to say, (Y/N) nodded, not very sure, and that was enough for Jaehyun to quickly start the car.
Thousands of thoughts ran through (Y/N)'s mind. Eager to know where they were headed; she didn't know if she should believe Jaehyun that this wasn't about picking up or delivering goods or meeting someone who worked on the same thing he did.
She was only sure they wouldn't go to Neo Zone because they were far from there.
She could see how impatient Jaehyun seemed while driving, and that only made her even more nervous. What exactly did they tell him in that call to make him like this? She wanted to ask, but she knew she wouldn't get an answer.
She didn't know how many minutes had passed, she only knew that the rain stopped just before the car parked and she finally noticed where they were. A gray building was a few meters away from them, and it wasn't hard to recognize it.
It was the National Rehabilitation Center.
A long and large building, which was accompanied by an extensive garden, and from the outside, you could see that there were a huge number of rooms inside it.
Her head was flooded with even more questions knowing that this was the place where Jaehyun was needed.
“You can stay in the car if you want. I'll be back in a moment” Jaehyun said as he opened the car door and got out.
Curiosity got the better of her.
And that's why she got out of the car and followed Jaehyun. Without saying anything, they entered the building where they were immediately greeted by a nurse who seemed to know the boy well.
“Jaehyun, I'm glad you were able to answer the call” said the woman as she greeted them. “We need to talk to you”.
The boy nodded and turned to (Y/N), who just nodded and said, “I’ll wait for you.”
He smiled slightly and walked with the person until they reached the reception where she was able to pull out a few papers.
It had been, perhaps, about two weeks since the last time he had been there. A place he was very familiar with and where he regularly went; he had become good friends with the friendly nurses who apparently didn't care where he came from.
He was grateful that the nurse didn't say anything when his bruises and wounds were clearly visible.
“Has something happened?” he asked after a few seconds.
“ He's fine” the nurse said with a smile “but we need to talk to you about his stay here” she continued.
That's when the small smile on his face disappeared. Jaehyun knew what she was referring to. He swallowed hard before the nurse could speak.
“The payment is overdue, Jaehyun," the nurse confirmed what he already knew. "We care about Sicheng's health, but this is not my concern. You know that the center relies on patients' monthly payments, and the administrators in charge of them request them punctually," she commented as she handed Jaehyun one of the papers. "I understand your situation and Sicheng's, but there's nothing more I can do even if I wanted to; I've tried to delay the payment as much as I could, but unfortunately, it can't be delayed any longer. The administrators expect the payment soon, or we'll have to discharge Sicheng and send him home," she concluded.
It was difficult at first for Jaehyun to process everything the nurse had said, as more than ten things ran through his mind at once; one of them being his good friend Winwin, then, thinking about how he could quickly get the money he knew he owed to the clinic, considering the beating he had just received for not being able to complete a sale. So, what would he do? He still needed half the money for that monthly payment, and between the clinic's expenses and those of his own house for his family, he couldn't see a way to get the money on time.
He would have to ask for more stash to sell if he wanted to do it.
He couldn't let them discharge Sicheng.
Not while he hasn't made progress.
"I'm sorry," Jaehyun said. "I... I still have a little left to complete the payment. It's just that lately, it's been harder, and... how much time do I have to pay it?" the breathless boy asked.
"Considering that it's only the first few days of the month, and the payment is already two weeks late... I can't give you more than three days," lamented the nurse, making a grimace.
"I'll try the impossible to bring you that money on Saturday. Sicheng still can't be discharged; he hasn't progressed the way he was supposed to," he affirmed, a slight pout evident in his mouth.
What a contrast there was between his expression and the bruises, accompanied by the tattoos on his body.
Being in the Rehabilitation Center was the place where he could be most vulnerable.
"How is he?" he asked, lowering his gaze.
"Same as the last time you came to visit him," commented the nurse. "We're doing what we can, Jaehyun, but as long as he stays the way he is, we can't move forward. We need his will to help him."
When no words came out of his mouth, the nurse continued: "Jaehyun, you know you can go see him."
For Jaehyun, each visit was just as difficult as the day he decided to admit Sicheng to that clinic, and each one left him more tormented than the previous.
He would give everything if that means that Sicheng would go back to be himself.
He nodded after a few seconds and cautiously glanced back, where, not far away, (Y/N) was reading some brochures and observing the facilities around them; when she noticed the boy's gaze on her body, she walked toward him carefully.
The brunette didn't really know what came to his mind or what caused those words to come out of his mouth, but when he wanted to back off, it was too late, because they had already been expressed.
"Are you coming with me?"
And although (Y/N) had no idea why they were there or where they were going, she accepted anyway. So they found themselves walking down the long whitewashed hallway until they reached an elevator, and then they went up about three floors.
The atmosphere was cold, the hallways and rooms were well-lit, and they could see a few nurses and what she assumed were doctors walking around in their lab coats.
Jaehyun didn't know why he was allowing himself to show her that part of his life, especially when it was such a fragile part for him. He had tried to protect it cautiously for the past few months, and now he was there, accompanied by Hwang (Y/N), with the person he never thought he would meet at that moment.
He hadn't really thought of her when he asked if they could go there before going home; his head was only thinking about the clinic and Sicheng when the call had ended, and it was too late to change his mind when they had set off.
He just hoped the girl would be discreet enough.
They reached room 119, where Jaehyun pushed the door open and where in a wheelchair, they both could see Winwin, who was facing the large window of his room, looking outside.
(Y/N)'s surprised face did not go unnoticed; she was confused in a thousand ways. She knew who Dong Sicheng was; everyone in her school knew him, however... she thought he had simply left the city. She had no idea he was in that place. So in her head, thousands of questions arose about him, why he was there, and why he was in a wheelchair.
She could only react when she heard Jaehyun's voice: "Hey, buddy. How are you today?"
Nothing.
That's what he received.
Jaehyun walked over to him, and when he stood next to him, he crouched down enough to be able to observe him better. Winwin had his gaze fixed forward, his cheeks were a little rosy, his hair fell over his forehead, and his hands were resting on his legs.
Jaehyun sighed.
"Oh, I see you've taken a shower today," the boy mentioned with a smile, and again, there was not a single response.
When he noticed the presence of the girl, who had remained in her place throughout the visit and hesitated to approach them, he spoke: "Today I'm not alone; I brought company. Maybe you'll find it helpful to hear another voice that isn't mine or Lucas's... or the nurses'," the boy teased and gestured to the brunette to come closer, who obeyed. "Do you remember (Y/N)? She was in our class; we've coincided a couple of times, that's why she's here."
"Hello, Winwin," she greeted softly. Jaehyun made a grimace and stood up from his place to be at the girl's height.
"Don't expect an answer," Jaehyun commented. "There won't be one."
"I thought... I thought Winwin had moved to China," (Y/N) confessed.
Jaehyun snorted: "Yes, that's what everyone thinks."
Those words took her by surprise, and it was when she decided to remain silent, watching from a distance the little interaction between the boys: it was just Jaehyun saying a few words while adjusting Sicheng's hair without expecting any response.
Dong Sicheng and Jung Jaehyun had been friends since birth, being two little boys who grew up on the streets of Neo Zone, it was easy to click with each other. Winwin's parents had decided to move to the infamous area after his father had met Lee Sooman in some low neighborhood in Wenzhou, China, and he had offered him a job where he could have his family at least a little better off than in his country.
Winwin had not joined the gang since it had not been of great urgency to him; his father was the active member needed by the family, and if he were honest... the farthest he could be from the Neo Zone gang... the better. He was always Jaehyun's companion at all times. Best friends who shared every detail of their lives for years, Jaehyun took care of Sicheng, and he provided the most sincere friendship he had ever had... then, a while later, Lucas Wong and Mark Lee joined their adventures.
Four boys from Neo Zone with the desire to conquer the world, but unable to leave their sad reality behind.
Jaehyun still remembers that fateful day a year ago, and he still feels like it happened yesterday.
The guilt gnawed at him every passing day, terrorizing each of his nights as he wondered: Why?
Why did something like that have to happen to someone as good as Dong Sicheng was?
A year ago, when Jaehyun had chosen to go deliver a package of stash after Winwin had asked him to stay and keep him company, and he had denied that request... that decision still drilled into his head.
Winwin's family and he had been robbed in their own home. Knowing who had done it, the reasons for the event, and who had ordered such inhumanity, were still a mystery. When Winwin's parents along with him tried to flee the place by leaving in a car; it had not been the wisest decision they had made at the moment... because not long after, outside of Neo Zone, after the group of people who had robbed their home managed to shoot a clean shot in one of the tires of the rear part of the car, causing Winwin's father to lose control of his own vehicle and not a few meters later it would impact hard enough for the car to be shot in another direction, causing immediate damage.
Jaehyun only remembers receiving a call from Lucas and minutes later finding himself at the entrance to the Emergency Room of the General Hospital, where a stretcher with Winwin's body was being transported.
He remembers seeing the blood. He remembers hearing Lucas and Mark's screams asking to see their friend. He remembers standing still at the entrance to the Emergency Room.
But above all, he remembers thinking, what would have happened if instead of deciding to go sell that stupid package of stash, what if he had stayed at home with his mother and Sicheng?
A week in a coma and a diagnosis of paraplegia was what made Jaehyun lose his mind.
It had been a year since the accident, and Winwin had not even progressed a bit. After being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, it had been difficult to help the injury in the dorsal spine that he had suffered; the damage had been partial, Winwin could handle his movements and his sensitivity to walk again... if only he would come out of the state of shock he was still in.
There were too many things he experienced in so few minutes, so much physical and mental pain for what happened, that now, Sicheng couldn't react.
It had been a year since Sicheng hasn’t spoken.
The doctors assured that he could hear and understand everything, but he was simply mentally tired to process the words and make them come out of his mouth.
His body didn't react as it should either.
And until Winwin had the strength of his own will to do it, the only thing they could do at that clinic was to keep him on medication so that the pains would not persist.
But Jaehyun couldn't take it anymore.
What he would give for Sicheng to be able to enjoy life again.
Unfortunately, the visits he made to the hospital... didn't last more than half an hour since that was the place's regulation. So, his farewell was as quick as his arrival.
"See you on Saturday, Win," he put his hand on his shoulder. "Don't give the nurses too much trouble."
He could swear he heard Winwin laugh and say goodbye.
Even though that really didn't happen.
(Y/N), who throughout the visit remained silent observing both boys, could feel her heart in her hand. She had never believed she would see that vulnerability on Jaehyun's part, and knowing what it was about because of the importance his best friend had in his life, made her heart ache with sadness even more.
"Now I'll take you home," murmured Jaehyun when he passed by her without saying anything else.
The girl glanced back, looking for the last time at Sicheng's silhouette, who hadn't moved from the same place since they had both arrived in the room. She took a deep breath and left the room when Jaehyun was already far enough away.
She didn't know what to say. There were no words of comfort for the situation, and she knew it, that's why they both silently said goodbye to the nurse who had received them and continued like that until they entered the car, which was not parked far away.
Jaehyun allowed himself to lean back on the driver's seat as he closed his eyes and sighed heavily.
"I guess you have many questions," Jaehyun said without opening his eyes.
She had.
"I don't know if I really should ask them," (Y/N) confessed as she looked at him.
The boy remained silent for a few seconds.
"Sicheng and his parents had an accident a year ago," Jaehyun said, opening his eyes to look at her. "An accident that was caused."
"By whom?"
"No one knows," he replied, taking his hands to the steering wheel of the car and squeezing it tightly. "His parents died instantly... Winwin arrived at the hospital in critical condition; it was a miracle that he came out alive."
"Why...?"
"Why is he in this clinic?" he interrupted, and she nodded with a knot in her stomach. "The accident had a great impact and damaged on his dorsal spine; the doctors diagnosed partial paraplegia; his sensitivity in his legs was minimal, and he couldn't make any extensive movements with his legs that didn't make him cry from the pain. After seven days, he woke up from the coma and realized everything that had happened, including my uncle's death... he hasn't said a single word since then... the doctors said it would take time for him to recover, and that eventually, he would speak, but Winwin doesn't have the will to do it; he's still in a kind of state of shock, and that has delayed his recovery," he explained, unable to see her in the eyes.
"Who... who pays for all this if Sicheng's parents aren't here?" she asked curiously.
Jaehyun sighed; "For the first few months, my boss covered part of the monthly fee, until suddenly he stopped doing it. Since then, I've been taking care of it."
The girl's expression was one of surprise.
"How do you do it?"
"That’s the reason I'm in the business that I'm in," he replied, changing his gaze to her, being able to see directly into her eyes and causing her to feel a shiver run through her body.
There was something about those bruised eyes that had done something to her.
"It must be hard," the girl said in a murmur.
Jaehyun snorted and nodded slowly. He hated being seen in his less tough character. The only person he allowed himself to be like that with was Lucas... or Winwin. And for a stranger to see him like that... made his blood boil.
"You know? Winwin loved dancing," Jaehyun said, smiling sideways as the memory came to his mind.
That fact wasn't strange for (Y/N), she remembers seeing Winwin at the school theater... the only boy from Neo Zone who was part of the dance team. She didn't even know how he had managed that, but he must have been good if the Kwangya students allowed him to be in the group.
"Now nobody knows if he'll be able to do it again," Jaehyun continued. "Winwin was the only one of all of us who really had a future, he wasn't even a gang member... he hadn't even gone through his initiation, and look how he ended up."
(Y/N) swallowed.
"Mark Lee is no longer friends with you, right?" The girl asked curiously.
"Things got complicated with him after the accident."
The brunette fell silent for a moment and then shifted her body to face him.
“Haven't you thought about looking for another alternative?” she questioned again “You know? If you let me help you, maybe I could get you a position at my father's company and...”
“Shh. I think I've told you it's not that easy.”
“ But it could be” she insisted.
Jaehyun scoffed and shook his head as he looked away from her.
“I not only have to cover this quota, I also have to bring money home, for my mom and for Jeno. It's the easiest way to get what I need” he confessed “besides, I told you once... in Neo Zone there's no way out, once you're in, you're in forever.”
The tattoos on his neck were what sentenced him to a miserable life forever.
But as long as that miserable life helped to ease the pain and managed to make Sicheng return to who he was, it would be worth it.
“It doesn't have to be like this” she murmured, focusing on her own hands.
"You don't know what it's like to be part of this," he countered in a low voice.
How had they opened up to have such a conversation so suddenly?
The girl felt her lip tremble as she remembered the scene she had witnessed minutes earlier in that room, and she couldn't help but think about how it would feel to lose a loved one in such a way... knowing that physically they were present, but mentally they weren't there.
(Y/N) had always had a heart easy to move, but she really never believed that Jung Jaehyun would be able to achieve that.
"Is that why you insist on continuing school?" she asked, looking at him again.
"Students are my best clients," he replied with a half smile.
(Y/N) didn't know how to take that.
She closed her eyes for a moment and then said, "I can help you with a few more assignments," she assured. "But only for a while and in my own way. But, I don't want you to involve me in any of the problems you're in, it will only be school matters. I don't want to be associated with anything you do, if anything you do is enough to help Sicheng, I'll try not to question it."
Jaehyun couldn't believe what he had just heard.
"If that helps you help me and me stay in school..." he paused "...I might be willing."
"What's the reason for your change of heart?"
"Because if I were in the same situation as you, I would also want someone to somehow help me," she replied, hugging herself.
The boy nodded with a half-smile, and without further ado, he started the car.
"Only school matters," Jaehyun confirmed.
She definitely didn't know what he had just gotten himself into.
______________________________________________
The day after the visit to the National Rehabilitation Center, something happened that made (Y/N) unable to concentrate enough during class hours. Her mind kept going back to the place over and over again, but how horrible was the situation the boy was in. One day you're capable, and the next... not even being able to move. How could anyone endure that?
At some point in the morning, during the physics period, her mind was spinning, her leg moving anxiously, and she bit her lips. She tried to erase the conversation she and Jaehyun had had the day before a thousand times and tried to erase the image of Winwin in that room.
But it was impossible.
Just when she thought she had succeeded, the image returned immediately.
She hated being someone who cared too much about things.
Because she knew something wasn't right with her when she found herself in front of the doors of the Rehabilitation Center.
Her coat shielded her from the cold breeze on that day, and as she clutched her bag to her, she didn't think anymore and entered the place.
She felt a little out of place when she entered the center, but after a few minutes, a presence came in front of her.
"Hello, good morning," the nurse greeted her. "Oh, you're the girl who accompanied Jaehyun yesterday, right?" She asked in confusion.
The girl smiled and nodded. "Yes, I'm Hwang (Y/N). I'm Jaehyun's classmate... and Winwin's."
"How nice of you to visit us... are you here to see Winwin? It's rare to see someone come for him other than Lucas or Jaehyun," confessed the nurse.
"Um, yes... I could say I'm here for a visit," the girl smiled. "But, to be honest... yesterday I overheard a bit of his conversation with Jaehyun... I know Winwin's payment is delayed this month."
"Yes, usually Jaehyun finds a way to pay on time," she sighed. "But this month it's been delayed for a few weeks, and if I'm honest, I've been doing everything I can to keep Winwin from being discharged."
The girl nodded and asked, "Do you think Winwin's treatment will still take time?"
"I can't answer that accurately," admitted the nurse. "It's all a matter of Winwin's will, but to be honest, right now he has no will at all, so far as we're concerned, and if the payment continues to be monthly... he could spend another half a year here."
The girl understood the situation, and although she would like to think more about it... she didn't, so she didn't even know when she blurted out those words: "Is there any way I can pay for the next six months?"
The nurse's eyes widened with surprise, and she looked at the girl with enthusiasm. "Are you serious?"
"Yes," she replied. "I would like to help one of my classmates as long as I can. Money is not a problem," she confessed.
"Wow... thank you, i really appreciate that. Winwin is a boy with a lot of potential from what we know, and although we're sad that we haven't made the progress we want, we know that someday he will leave through that door better," (Y/N) smiled nostalgically.
"I just need to ask you something," the brunette confessed. "Could you not tell Jaehyun that I've paid?" she questioned.
"I don't know if it's easy to lie to someone like Jaehyun," the nurse laughed. "But since it's something good you've done... I'll try," the nurse walked to the desk with (Y/N) behind her. "(Y/N)?" She called and paid attention. "I know there may be many things about Jaehyun... but he's a good guy... beneath all that facade; he really has something good."
Those words hammered in her head. "Thank you."
_____________________________________________
(Y/N) reviewed the same line of text she had read five times now on some molasses topic. Trying to understand the topic deeply.
The air coming lightly through one of the library windows was enough for her to try to hug herself to take warmth, read a bit from the physics books on the table, and impatiently move her leg.
She didn't know at what exact moment a tall figure stood in front of her, but what she did know was that that person didn't seem very happy.
"Why did you do it?" Jaehyun let out while looking directly at her.
"I don't know what you're talking about," (Y/N) replied while looking at her book attentively.
"I know you know. I thought I told you I don't need your money," Jaehyun repeated with annoyance.
"I still don't know what you're talking about," the girl stopped seeing her book and changed her gaze to the boy.
"Don't play with me," the boy exclaimed exasperatedly. "Why did I went to the center today and they told me Winwin's treatment has been paid for the next six months?"
The girl shrugged. "It could have been your boss."
"My boss doesn't give a shit about Winwin!" Exclaimed the boy. "I told you I didn't need your money, I was clear, I don't want to owe anything to anyone from Kwangya."
"You don't need to pay me back," the girl assured, standing up in front of Jaehyun. "With the money you'll save from that, you'll be able to sell less."
"It seems you don't understand a fucking thing!" Jaehyun raised your arms with annoyance. "Paying or not paying for Sicheng's treatment, it doesn't change the fact that I sell drugs!" The boy explained regardless of where they were; they were lucky the library wasn't being occupied by other people.
"Everyone starts somewhere!" the girl attacked. "I just wanted to take a weight off your shoulders."
Jaehyun scoffed and looked at her with a sarcastic smile.
"Why? I don't need your pity! If you hadn't accompanied me yesterday, you'd still be thinking Winwin had moved to China! You didn't give a fucking damn even when he was your classmate!"
(Y/N) started gathering her things and putting them in her backpack.
"Saying thank you would have been enough, Jaehyun!" the girl remarked. "I know you can do better with your life," she murmured as she turned to look at him.
Jaehyun's blood was boiling; he hated when people interfered in his life, as if he didn't already have enough to deal with.
"You don't know anything about me! You said it yourself; we're not even friends," he retorted.
"And what if I want to get to know you better?" the girl exclaimed without thinking. They both fell silent, staring into each other's eyes. (Y/N) didn't even want to say those words, but she did.
She couldn't deny that Jung Jaehyun was intriguing. She didn't know why. She didn't know why she had been avoiding him for weeks, but since that night at Neo Zone, when they had talked about the deal, she knew it would be difficult to shake him off, and when she had... something inside her wanted them to meet again. Why are things so difficult? They are two different people from different backgrounds; why would she suddenly be interested in him? Was it because she saw him vulnerable the day before? Or was it because she believed there was something good in him, just like the nurse had said?
She must be crazy to think like that.
"You really don't want to do it," Jaehyun said with a bit more calmness.
"I know you can get out out of that hole, Jaehyun."
"Winwin's parents tried, and look how that ended up!" he exclaimed. "There's no way out in Neo Zone, get that through your head," he explained. "There's nothing good about me. I don't even know why you think so, just because yesterday you saw something different or because I drove you home a couple of times, doesn't mean you know everything about me!"
"Stop acting like a fucking jerk."
"Like a jerk? This is reality! Your act of charity isn't going to change my life. I was born a dealer, and that's how my life will end!"
"I really believe there's something good in you."
"Well, keep believing it."
"If you ever feel grateful, you know where to find me," the girl said, gathering her things and walking out of the library.
Jaehyun cursed under his breath and shook his hands in frustration. In just a few days, the girl had managed to push his buttons faster than anyone else from Neo Zone.
But when he saw her walk out the door, why did he feel regret for lashing out at her?
_______________________________________________
The week had been slow this time. (Y/N) and Jaehyun had been avoiding each other like the plague, not even looking at each other when they crossed paths in the hallway. For the girl, it seemed like childish behavior, especially coming from Jaehyun and his usual façade; now he seemed nothing more than someone throwing a tantrum after she only wanted to help him.
But she still thought she really wanted to get to know him better.
What was behind his façade? What was it that made him who he was? Not the boy from Neo Zone, not the dealer everyone knew... who was Jeong Jaehyun really?
That question had been on her mind for weeks, and it disappointed her a bit to know that she might never know the answers to those doubts she had about the boy.
Today was warm compared to the weather last week. The sun was shining brightly, and luckily for (Y/N), her mother had decided to return her car. So her day had started off on the right foot, and hoping for a good day, she took the opportunity to stop by her favorite coffee shop in Kwangya. Ordering her usual vanilla latte and just before it was time to pay, a thought invaded her mind, and after debating it internally, she decided to follow her thoughts.
An hour and a half later, when she was the last one to leave her physics class, someone blocked her path at the classroom door. Holding her book to her chest, after the unexpected startle, she looked ahead to find no one but Jaehyun. Who stood silently in front of her, with the same leather jacket he used to wear, the same combination of marijuana and vanilla scent, and with the same enchanting eyes, that she had just noticed.
She was in dangerous territory.
And she knew it.
"I need to go to my next class, Jaehyun," the girl said shortly.
For a few seconds, the boy in front of her didn't say anything, he just watched her, until he sighed and slowly said, "Thank you."
Short and to the point, he didn't say anything else, and that was enough to make (Y/N)'s heart flutter in a thousand ways.
"For the coffee," the boy finished. "And for the notes."
"I did my part, I told you I would help you," said (Y/N) as she fiddled with her fingers.
"I thought you wouldn't after the last time we met," Jaehyun confessed.
"I'm sticking to that."
A small silence ensued. Two people face to face. With thousands of doubts between them and things to resolve. What had drawn them together? How was it that the universe managed to put two completely different people in the same place?
"Did you mean it?" Jaehyun asked, and when he noticed that (Y/N) didn't understand what he meant, he continued. "About wanting to get to know me more."
(Y/N) swallowed hard and looking him in the eyes, nodded.
"I still believe there's something good in you."
"Why?"
"I don't know yet," she replied honestly. "And it's killing me. A while ago, I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with you, not even to cross paths, but now, I don't know what's changed, but every time I try to stay away, it's like something brings me back here," she confessed, leaving Jaehyun speechless, who just watched her, trying to decipher everything she was saying.
It was killing him too.
"Let's go to my car," he said.
"Huh?" she asked, confused.
"You want to know more about me, then get in my car," he said again, this time making his way to the parking lot, with (Y/N) behind him, who didn't say a single word, just followed his lead.
What was he doing?
When they reached the car, Jaehyun opened the passenger door, causing (Y/N) to get in without protesting. Then Jaehyun got into the driver's seat and without further ado, started the engine. She didn't know what was happening or what would happen next, but right now she could only trust Jaehyun.
Even though she didn't know how bad an idea that might be.
A few minutes later, as they had traveled a long distance, (Y/N) noticed they were approaching Neo Zone, and with her eyes wide open, she panicked.
"This is me," Jaehyun said out of nowhere, catching the girl's attention. "See all these streets? This is where I belong. This is what I am," he explained carefully.
(Y/N) looked out the window, a couple of people smoking on the sidewalk, others passing joints, and other silent streets. The houses weren't that big... rather, they looked cramped. Unlike what she was used to, to her lifestyle, this didn't seem like it would be enough for a family.
But what did she know with the privilege she had?
"I grew up here, this is what I know," he commented. "Most people are born and die here, it's something that seems to be already written," he continued as his car slowed down. "Those of us from here have a different perspective on life... people from Kwangya lives for the money... we live to survive, and although it's getting harder and harder, we manage to do it," the car finally stopped, and still looking out the window, (Y/N) saw a small house in front of them. One story, not much to describe or point out, it was small but for some reason, it looked cozy.
(Y/N) changed her gaze to Jaehyun, who was still looking ahead and spoke.
"Is this your house?"
Jaehyun nodded.
(Y/N) smiled softly.
"Would you invite me in?"
______________________________________________
He doesn't know how (Y/N) managed to have an effect on him, but now they were there, inside his little house, (Y/N) carefully examining the walls around them and analyzing every aspect of the small space.
He was grateful there were no one at home.
"It looks cozy," (Y/N) said as she looked at one of the frames hanging on the wall.
"I guess it's not even a third of your house," Jaehyun assured to (Y/N).
“And no matter how many people are there, it always feels lonely," she confessed. "It's like no one leaves anything there, like it's something unimportant. As if it's not a home," she finished.
Jaehyun looked at her gently, and as she looked around, thousands of things went through his mind.
"To be honest with you," the girl spoke. "I see more vibes from Jeno in this house than yours," she said. "Many things here seem related to Jeno... but I don't see many things related to you..." she continued. "It's like you don't even think about staying here for long."
"I don't plan on leaving Neo Zone," Jaehyun asserted, crossing his arms.
"Don't you want a different future?"
"There's no future for me," Jaehyun pointed out. "And if there were, I'd prefer to give it to Jeno. He has much more to live for than I do."
"You also have a life to live. A future to write, you can change what is today, for something better," (Y/N) turned around to face the boy.
"I have no way out," the boy replied. "Do you think this is easy? After seeing my dad die and doing everything my bosses ask me to do no matter what. Taking care of my mom, Jeno, and now Winwin? Huh? Making sure Winwin becomes who he was again and that my brother doesn't end up being a fucking addict are enough reasons for me not to leave here," Jaehyun concluded, getting dangerously close to her, with a few centimeters separating them.
The words echoed in her head strongly.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't pity me," Jaehyun said under his breath.
"It's not that. It's just that every time I think about all this and now that I see your place and I don't see anything that seems to belong to you, it makes me think that's what you're looking for, to belong to something and leave here as soon as there's an opportunity,"
Jaehyun looked directly at her, not knowing what to say. And afraid to think that maybe she was right.
Because yes, maybe he wanted to get out of there, along with his mom, Jeno, and Winwin; maybe he wanted to do something with his life that wasn't illegal, but what was the point of thinking about it when he knew he wouldn't make it? He was afraid to admit that he wanted to be able to change things, to be able to make his family okay, that no shadow from the past would follow them, that they would have a place where they could forge a clean and safe future.
"This has never been about what I want," Jaehyun commented with a future. "Since I was born, everything around me was the gang. After my father's death, I knew what was coming, and I knew I would never be able to get out of it. It doesn’t matter what I want. It matter what my boss wants, he has that kind of power, no one below him has their own decision. The whole life of Neo Zone is ruled by him," he concluded, even closer to her.
(Y/N) looked him in the eyes, her breath uncontrolled. Her chest heaved, and her hands were sweating.
"What do you want, Jaehyun?" she whispered.
The boy paused for a moment and looked at her lips.
"Now?" he asked, and she nodded. "Would it be unrealistic to say that I want to kiss you?"
"How realistic would it be to say that I want you to do it?
She didn't even finish the question because Jaehyun's lips collided firmly with hers. The boy's long hands slid through (Y/N)'s soft hair, her hair smelling of lavender shampoo. He gently covered her cheek with one of his rough hands, and she melted into the touch.
It wasn't a hurried kiss, as (Y/N) thought it would be; actually, Jaehyun was taking the time to savor every passing second. As if this moment would disappear at any minute and he wanted to hold onto it.
Was he looking for something to belong to?
His hand moved from her cheek to her waist, and she took the opportunity to press her body against his and release a moan of pleasure. As if she felt complete leaning against Jaehyun's warmth.
As if it was something they both longed for for a long time.
And even though she wanted to continue with the act, they were severely interrupted when a car horn sounded incessantly outside the house, causing them to separate with tremendous confusion. (Y/N)'s red cheeks were enough to make Jaehyun's heart race, but when he heard another horn, he took her hand and they walked outside in hurry.
And then, there was Jeno, being thrown out of the back of a car, blood streaming from a cut on his eyebrow, bruises scattered all over his body, and falling firmly to the ground after being thrown.
"I want this to be the last time your brother sets foot in our zone. Next time it won't be him we throw," the familiar voice of a boy from the opposing gang spoke up. Chris. Who was with the window down and smiling maliciously. "Neither will it be you, Jung. It will be the girl who will end up like this,"
Jaehyun moved abruptly from his place to try to reach the car, but it left as fast as it could, (Y/N) shocked to hear those words, didn't do anything more than approach Jeno to help him up. Then Jaehyun cursed under his breath and looked into the distance at the girl and her brother together.
And his chest tightened as he realized that now, she too had been involved.
And he believed there was no turning back, because she was right... Jaehyun wanted to belong to something.
But how selfish would it be to belong to (Y/N)?
a/n: well now you know what happened to Winwin TT. Once again I’m sorry if this took too long I promise I’ll try to update sooner this time!
taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)
taglist: @spicyryujin @kriizztin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae
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redtippedfox · 11 months
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Accidentally deleted this post when I was trying to edit it but guess I can’t undo that.
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All characters in this AU are aged up and are adults
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Anyway gonna take this chance to redo this post and upload her updated kwami swaps.
Behold the holy trinity of Kwami swaps part 1
1. Fox! Marinette: Huli Jing, she’s a trickster and her illusions are beautifully dangerous
2. Bee! Marinette: HoneyBee: She’s hella sweet but you don’t wanna piss her off because her sting can hurt
3. Turtle! Marinette: Chelona Jade: Graceful, strong, and powerful she is the protector.
4. Black Cat! Marinette: Lady Noire: Pent up Destruction can be dangerous especially for a rule follower who’s been stuck being perfect
5. Mouse! Marinette: Multimouse: She may be small but she can give you quite a scare when she divides and conquers.
6. Peacock! Marinette: Bleu Celine: A Goddess in human flesh her Sentimonster’s seem like a dream but beware for they are not all they seem.
7. Butterfly! Marinette: Titania: Light as a butterfly, become her champion be blessed by her gift.
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These kwami swaps are definitely going to appear in Timey Wimey soon, we’re getting really close to Marinette’s reveal. I’ll also be posting the other half of this which the Chinese zodiac part of the Miracle Box, yep that’s right my girl is pulling a Kwamibuster on the corrupted hero’s but with a twist. Anywho, updated their designs and was just trying to edit the post but accidentally deleted it so whoops.
So cleaned up their designs and thought might as well post more.
The main seven Miraculouses are still my favorite
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seat-safety-switch · 1 year
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When I was a kid, going to the zoo was a joyous occasion. You'd get to see a giraffe, maybe your dad would stay home from work, and at the end there'd be a root-beer-flavoured candy stick from the gift shop. Nowadays, I'm an adult, and adults most definitely do not go to the zoo on their own. So I did.
As soon as I arrived, and paid the eyewatering sum required for the parking and admission, I immediately had a rush of childhood euphoria upon seeing my favourite animal again. That animal is a John Deere Gator 6x6 all-terrain-vehicle and utility tractor. The groundskeepers were still using this reliable workhorse, and, thinking they were dealing with nothing more than rebellious toddlers, had left it parked in front of the penguin exhibit with a length of chain link fencing and copper wiring in the back.
Oh yes, copper wiring. They should be more careful about that. A real creepazoid thief would steal that stuff, get a couple bucks. I, however, pride myself on respecting the private property of others a little bit more than that. As I plunked the Gator into low range and began climbing the stairs to the wildebeest area, I gave myself a pat on the back for being such a good citizen and having so much restraint and impulse control.
I'd like to say that the resulting chase through the facility involved a bunch of daring high-speed turns, but the scrub radius on one of these six-wheel-drive abominations is just terrible. Every time I even went near the steering wheel, I was rewarded with copious understeer. Despite what the evening news says, it is to my credit as a race driver that I managed to only gently skim the butterfly exhibit, rather than crash through it. Security did catch up to me when I stopped to get a corn dog, but that's only because the lines were so long.
As I lay there on the ground, my arms handcuffed behind me, the cop's knee in my back, I had no regrets. Well, maybe one. You see, I had picked the wrong snack counter, not realizing just how far a giraffe's neck could bend. Being forced to watch that long-necked asshole swallow my corn dog – which I paid for – whole is the real injustice here.
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noisycowboyglitter · 1 month
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billiethepumpkin · 1 year
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Enough: Toshinori Yagi
Kinktober Day 7 (Late)
Warnings: Rated X. This content is intended to be viewed by those ages 18 years and older. If you are a minor, please do not interact with this material.
Contains: Age gap. Sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship. Nervousness. Consent. Body worship. Praise. The L word.
Author's Note: All characters are portrayed to be adults because I am an old fuck. :)
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You were a nurse. 
Your quirk was not very spectacular at all. In fact, you would say it was particularly unremarkable. But you’d been his nurse each and every time that he was in the hospital, and you had recognized him waiting in line at a convenience store. The Hero that the world knew as All Might. But you knew him as Mr. Yagi. 
You’d been the only person in his life to treat him as that: just a normal person. When you were his nurse, you treated him like anyone else you knew. And Toshinori was grateful for that. And sure you were younger. A lot younger. Like, a decade and a half younger. But you were beautiful, smart, and hardworking, and you were the only person he ever knew that got to know Toshinori Yagi, rather than All Might.
Now, though, you’d been on several dates, still in an awkward phase of talking and dating. You hadn’t even spent the night yet. Yagi would take you out in the evening and spoil you rotten. Dinner, dancing, the zoo, the aquarium, museums, local music. He’d bring you gifts, too. It started with flowers. Then as he got to know you, he bought you perfume you liked, books you talked about reading. You truly were spoiled. You’d invite him inside when he dropped you off, and you’d drink a quick cup of tea. You’d have a great conversation. And then he would kiss you sweetly and head home. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to stay over, or to have you stay with him. 
This time was, more or less, like the others. He’d taken you to a wonderful restaurant and let you get whatever you wanted. And then he’d taken you on a walk in the park. You walked for maybe half an hour and then found a bench. You sat, and you talked until the sun was fully set. You didn’t even realize it was dark until he said, “Oh gosh, look what time it is!” while glancing at his phone. “I was having such a good time I didn’t even realize how late it was.”
“It’s okay,” you chirped. “I don’t have anywhere to be.” You smiled sweetly at him, sending him all the love you possibly could in one glance. And Toshinori felt those butterflies in his belly in a way he hadn’t since he was in high school.
“Do you at least want to go inside?” he offered. “My place is just down the block.”
“Sure,” you smiled. 
He held your hand as you walked, leading the way to a small, quiet apartment. It was decorated nicely, but not too extravagantly. You had expected more from his apartment, considering the luxurious dates he’d taken you on, the gifts he’d given you. It was small, quaint. 
But Toshinori had never needed more. He was single, up until recently. He never had any kids. He barely even had time to come home, until he was forced to retire. He only recently started to decorate it, when he was forced to start spending more time at home.
Maybe now that you were in his life, he’d have a reason to have more.
You took off your shoes at the front door, and he invited you to sit on his couch. “Do you want to watch something?” he asked, sitting next to you. 
“Sure,” you nodded. You weren’t sure what to expect out of this visit. It had been maybe two months, probably ten dates, and he hadn’t even hinted at spending the night together. You wanted it to be as good for him as it was for you, but you weren’t exactly sure what the protocol was here. He was a former Pro Hero who landed in your hospital more times than you could count. He spoiled you with luxurious dates and gifts around every turn. You didn’t want to make it seem like you just wanted in his pants. You wanted more than that with him. You wanted a future.
Toshinori turned on a movie and relaxed a little. Slowly and carefully, so as to not pressure you too heavily, he moved closer to you. First by inching toward you on the couch, until the outsides of your legs were touching. Then by putting his arm around you. You welcomed his advances, laying your head on his chest. You weren’t even watching the movie. You couldn’t pay attention with the way the warmth of his chest filled your head with a long list of thoughts, about him, about how sweet and thoughtful he was, how he was once strong enough to lift a building. 
And Toshinori  wasn’t watching either. He couldn’t even remember what he had turned on at this point. He was thinking about how he wanted to be even closer to you, about how much restraint he had to show to avoid making you uncomfortable.
But you were wondering why he was holding back. 
You were letting your thoughts run wild when he took his chance. He gently grabbed your face and pulled your lips to meet his. Toshinori had kissed you countless times before. His kisses were always sweet and kind and loving. But this was different. You could feel it in your bones. Something was different about this kiss, the way it was so sudden, with such force and hunger behind it. 
You met him with equal force, equal love. You held his face gently as you kissed him back. The kiss lasted much longer than usual. He couldn’t make himself detach from your face. You only came up for air when you had to, and Toshinori pulled himself away to scan your face. All he saw was you, your beautiful eyes, your soft lips. You. He swallowed hard, his heart beating just a bit faster as he asked, “Do you want to stay over tonight?”
You blinked a couple of times, and you could feel your cheeks heat at the question. Did that mean what you thought it meant? Of course it did. What else could it mean? Your breath was stuck in your lungs trying to answer. Only when you saw his face start to fall did you say, “Yes.” 
For a second, you and Toshinori just sat there, staring at each other. And then within an instant, his lips were connected once again, this time much more fervently. He was still gentle with you.
He always was. But you could feel the desperation building behind each and every kiss, each and every touch. One of your hands tangled in his hair, the other resting on his chest. Toshinori wanted his hands to be everywhere at once. One of them rested behind your head, the other on your lower back. He pulled you into himself as closely as possible. 
Toshinori had to pull himself away. This was almost too much to take, too much for him to bear all at once. He wanted it so badly, but he wanted to do this right. He stood up and offered you his hand, and he gently led you down the hallway to his bedroom. He shut the door behind you, and you felt him press against you from behind. You closed your eyes as he pulled all your hair to one side, draping it over your shoulder. You felt him press his lips to your neck, just behind your ear. “You are perfect,” he whispered, taking a gentle finger and unzipping your dress. Toshinori planted a trail of kisses down your neck and to your shoulder as he began to push your sleeves over your shoulders. Eventually, your dress fell to the floor, leaving you in just your bra and panties. 
Toshinori held your hand as he walked to the bed. He sat down in front of you and admired your body closely. He couldn’t take in enough of you. “So beautiful,” he uttered before his hands came to rest on your waist. You had long been aroused, from the earliest kiss of the night. You could feel yourself getting needier with every touch. And when he pulled himself closer to you to place kisses on your chest, creating a trail down your belly, it took everything in you to keep your composure, to avoid pouncing on him then and there. You were determined that you would remain graceful through this entire experience. 
When he came to admire you again, you bent over to slide your panties down over your legs, leaving them on the floor as you stepped out of them. You climbed onto Toshinori’s lap, and he was astonished at your touch as you straddled him. He was hard. You could feel it through his pants, the way he needed you so badly. Once you were settled on his lap, you reached around to unhook your bra and toss it to the side. Toshinori was slowly becoming addicted to you. He couldn’t take his eyes off of your body. 
You gently took his head in your hands, your fingers tangling in his hair on the back of his head, and you pulled him into the most passionate kiss you could muster. You fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, slowly getting them unbuttoned and discarding his shirt on the floor. You climbed off of his lap to allow him to unbuckle his belt and take off his pants. And you took him in, too, in all his glory. His body was aged, but still strong. There were scars over his chest and belly, the ones you already knew about from taking care of him for so long. 
When you finally climbed back on top of him, you were needier than ever, your pussy starting to drip and ache with your desire for him. You both took your time running your hands over each others’ body, kissing each other gently, lovingly, passionately. You couldn’t get enough of him. As he kissed fervently over your throat, you moaned out loud. You could feel his dick twitch beneath you, making your pussy twitch, too. “Toshinori,” you sighed. He looked at your face, waiting for those words he had longed for over the past two months. “Take me,” you uttered, looking straight at him.
He nodded, and Toshinori steadied his cock with one hand as you slowly sat down on him, inching closer and closer to taking his dick to the hilt. You moaned and sighed on his lap, both of you squirming and twitching for one another. “God, you feel so good,” he groaned, so quiet it was almost a whisper. Toshinori couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt anything like this at all, let alone a feeling as good as you. You kissed him fervently as he started to thrust upwards into you. You moaned into his mouth, and he pulled away to look at you. “You sound beautiful, honey,” he said. “Feel good for me, baby.” 
You started to rise and fall on his body, slowly riding him as you moaned and sighed for him. Toshinori couldn’t help the way he held your hips so fervently, guiding your movements as you rode him. He looked right at your face as you continued to move for him, your back arching as you squirmed for him. “Toshi,” you moaned. He got high on the sound of your voice as you said his name. Toshinori really was addicted to you. You could have anything you wanted. 
Eventually, though, you started to struggle. You started to lose your grip on reality as you rode faster and faster. It wasn’t quite enough to get you off. You needed him to fuck you, really fuck you. 
“Need more,” you admitted, getting off of his lap and laying on the bed. “Toshi, please fuck me.”
And he obliged.
He hovered over top of you, and he started to push his cock into you again. You could feel him so much deeper from this angle, and he could snap his hips into you harder and harder. You wanted that so badly. “Does that feel good, honey?” he asked, buried inside of you to the hilt. You squirmed once again, arching your back and moaning out loud. You nodded furiously. “Say it for me, baby,” he requested. 
You sighed, “You feel so good inside me, Toshi.”
“That’s my good girl,” he said. Those words made you gasp and moan all on their own. Toshinori was so close to your face you could feel his breath on your cheek. He started to thrust into you a little faster, a little harder. You were so wet at this point you could hear the squelching sound of his cock inside you. Thrust after thrust, his movements became more and more aggressive. You needed more. You were so close to that high you’d been wanting from him for the past several weeks, now feeling like it was years. “Look at me, baby,” he said, grabbing your face, a little rougher than he intended. “I wanna see your face when you come undone for me.”
You looked Toshinori straight in his bright blue eyes, feeling so much love and desire behind them. His grip on your face softened, slowly becoming a caress on your cheek. And right then, looking straight in his eyes, you fell over that edge into paradise. Your pussy contracted around him, now a vice-like grip on his member as you came around him. You moaned and sighed, gripping the sheets to keep yourself grounded here on earth. 
“Ah, shit,” Toshinori said as you came down off your high. He pulled out of you and stroked himself over your body, hot cum dripping onto your lower belly as he groaned for you. 
After a few deep breaths from each of you, he slowly stood up. “Wait here, honey,” he said, walking into the bathroom. He came back with a warm, damp rag, and he slowly and carefully wiped himself off of your stomach. He put the washcloth in the dirty laundry, and he laid back down with you, holding you closely to his chest and pulling the blankets up over both of you. 
You hadn’t said anything yet. You were speechless. You couldn’t believe that any of this even happened. He was spectacular, the most wonderful man you’d ever met, and you were curled up in his arms, wrapped up in his bed. How did you even get here?
Sleepily, Toshinori kissed you on the forehead, and he asked, “You okay?”
“Mhm,” you nodded. 
He took a deep breath. He was about to say something he had meant to say for a long time. Now that you had been this close, he could say it without fear of you running away, without you thinking he was too much. “I love you,” Toshinori uttered, pressing another kiss to the top of your head. 
You took a sharp breath in, and you swallowed and blinked a few times. He loved you? It took a minute to sink in. Toshinori loved you. You wondered how that was possible. You were just… you. You remembered how often he had proved it, never saying it with words. You pressed a sweet kiss to his jawline, your touch lingering on his cheek. “I love you, too, Toshinori,” you answered before falling back onto his chest. He held you close, breathing in your scent and relishing in your touch. But somehow it wasn’t enough. 
He could never get enough of you.
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This work was written by Abigail "Billie" Rothenberger. Please do not copy this work on Tumblr or any other platform.
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heartfullofleeches · 1 year
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I would love butterfly boi hc <3
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Adonis - Yan Butterfly Hcs
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Warnings: Cannibalism, Mentions of death, Stalking, Gross Behavior (namely sweat)
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Adonis is a male, conventionally attractive purple emperor butterfly. The attraction for many stops as his looks as getting to know him people tend to notice something.. strange about him. He seems friendly on the surface, but never expresses deeper interest in others beside his darling unless they've been injured or taking about their medical history in any form. Before meeting his lover Adonis has a very bleak, but cheerful outlook on life. It leans heavier on the brighter side once he realizes his feelings to the point he meets every day and event with a smile - even those where he's witness to or commits terrible crimes against humanity.
• Works for a crime clean up crew by day and most nights, and as a grave robber others. Most, if not all, of the jobs Adonis receives are phoned in by crooks/corrupt members of power as with his appetite it's killing two birds with one stone. They usually allow him to take whatever since he's already taking care of the body which results in nearly every house he cleans appearing as if no-one ever lived there.
His "souvenirs" are his prized possessions - till his darling comes around. Then he's willing to share. His first gift to them is an engagement ring he received as payment for his first job. It's a priceless heirloom, if the guy it belonged to have just sold it he'd still be around, but if that happened Adonis wouldn't have been able to give it to someone who deserves it more. The second gift is matching butterfly knives. Always on the hunt for more things to present to his darling during his cleanings. Anything brand new shows up on their doorstep or hooked up indoors if tthey haven't changed the locks again.
• Adonis' ideal darling is someone who's a little untidy. He enjoys his job and taking care of his lovebug, plus while cleaning up their home he can find more treasures to take with him. Half drunken bottles, sweaty clothes, straws they may have bitten. If they're the type to have adult toys he'll clean them by hand... likely with his tongue or after using them himself. It's important to keep things like that clean and sanitized.
Has a nasty habit of throwing out fragrant soaps and perfumes/colognes as they mask the natural scents he adores. Adonis is touchy and clingy during all seasons, but Summers are his most active as seeing his darling sweat cause him to lose all train of thought. Refuses to let his darling shower without bathing them with his tongue first when sweaty. If they aren't a fan of his tongue he'll wipe them down with some towels and huff the moist cloth instead.
Adonis' ideal first date is capturing someone from either his or his darling's past and burying them alive in a grave at his local cemetery while they have a picnic nearly in the butterfly garden. Adonis is stuck up in his head at times with fantasies of domestic bliss chopped up with slaughtering the neighborhood on the eve of a big anniversary. He makes killer banana bread.
What's his is his darling's, but the one thing he forbids is them going into his closet. Adonis has a hobby for polaroid photography and his closet is where he produces the film. He'd hate for his darling to recognize a face in his red folder drawer or find the drawer labeled with their name
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kakiastro · 4 months
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The Astrology of the age 27
Butterflies represent growth and change
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This is one of the most infamous ages due to the reputation of the “27 club.” If you don’t know who the 27 club is, it’s basically a group of famous celebs who passed from unfortunate ways at the age of 27.
There’s been a lot of conspiracy theories over the years about this phenomenon but it’s really a simple answer and it’s in the stars!
Astrology + Numerology
So when you turn 27, you enter a 4h profection year. Profectiòn years is a branch of astrology that focuses on the house that rules that year for you that year based on your age.
1 years old =1h
2 years old= 2h
3 years old = 3h
4 years old = 4h
So on and so forth..
This process goes up until your 12 years old= 12h profection year then the process starts over again. This is a 12 year cycle.
This is a good way to track certain patterns during your life.
So back to the 4h profection year…
The 4h in astrology represent your deepest psych, it’s who we are when we’re alone with our thoughts. Only a handful of people if any at all see this side of you. 4h is connected to your soul.
The 4h rules over our home life, family, ancestral roots, our emotional state of being.
The 4h is ruled by the moon, so your moon for that year is also being activated. This includes aspects to your moon and IC(4h)
During this year, you will feel
-emotionally overwhelmed with your deepest thoughts and emotions. If you’re the type to bottle up or hide your emotions, this year will challenge you on that. What are you feeling? Why are you feeling this way? What caused it? It can be a lot so take it easy on yourself.
-dynamics with your family may shift during this time, it doesn’t have to be a bad shift but it can uncomfortable. You may be thinking about your role in your family, family trauma, what type of family do you want to have.
-establishing a safe and secure home for yourself emotionally. Is this really a place I want to lay my head at night?
Saturn pre-return. Many people think your return starts at 29 but the energy of starts when you’re 27 years old. I call it the “pre-shadow period” it’s when you start to feel the “shift” happen in your life. Late 20s, you start to ask yourself, am I headed in the right direction? You may feel like you’re behind in life. You may start to have more responsibilities or you’re feeling like you need to be more responsible. Your worldview on people and those around you start to change, you start to view your own self differently.
So on top of your 4h/moon energy, you start to feel the beginning of your Saturn return energy.
Reversal Nodal Return. So this is when the current North Node transit is aspecting your natal South Node. The South Node transit is aspecting your North Node.
So, the SN represents our early life and the things that made us who we are essentially. It’s also connected the things you’ve learned in your past lives. So with the NN transit aspecting your Sn, a lot of past behaviors from this life which stems from past ones will resurface. It’s not all bad! During this time, you may re-explore your talents and gifts! It’s like the scene from lion king “remember who you are” 😅
Lunar progressed return. This is when your progressed moon returns back to your natal moon sign. You’re remembering who you wanted to be before the world told you something different.
Numerology.
So first 27 is a Gemini number. It’s the highest one. Your brain and your thought process start to really mature. You’ll be more open to communicating your thoughts. You’ll see things differently.
2 + 7 = 9. 9 is the number of completed cycles and endings. 9 is the humanitarian number as well. Too me, this is the end of one of your many adult cycles and the start of a new one. You’re entering a new phase in your life 9 is a sag degree, your worldview and you’ll be thinking about your philosophical ideas and beliefs. What do you believe? What shaped those beliefs? What role do I play in society and who else have these beliefs? Finding like-minded people who share those beliefs. It can be overwhelming because you can become more self aware on what happening around you and around the world.
I know this was a long post but I felt called to do it today! I’m opened for reading as well !
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abiiors · 7 months
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chocolate // ross macdonald x reader
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valentine's week - day 2: love potion
a/n: this is about abiior ross specifically hehe (short hair, shot beard etc) cw: use of aphrodisiacs against their knowledge (lets suspend our belief there), masturbation (f), implied voyeurism, unprotected sex oops (they're too horny to think it through) wc: 4k
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sweet taste of chocolate dissolves on your tongue as elena continues to recount her latest holiday to belgium. she has that “just back from holiday” tan on her and you laugh along to her stories, popping another square of chocolate in your mouth while sorting through the pile of gifts she’s brought for everyone. 
a heap of chocolate wrappers sits between the two of you and you’re certain you have enough sugar in you to feed a small village—still, the sweetness lingers on your tongue and makes you sigh wistfully every time you think about it. 
“i’m seeing ross later,” you slip in quietly when she takes a breath between her rambling and elena’s eyes go round. 
“seeing him seeing him? you finally asked him out?”
your head hangs in shame at the question and you can’t help the wince that leaves you. elena tsks. “oh babe, come on! he’s such a sweet guy and he clearly likes you back.”
“you don’t know that!”
several seconds pass and elena arches a perfectly shaped eyebrow. she’s right, you know she’s right. you’ve had this silly, desparate crush for six months now and you should have done the mature adult thing of asking him out. but your heart races every time he’s near and every single word in your head disappears along with all sane and rational thoughts. 
“well,” you shrug, “can i take some chocolate for him? he’s got a sweet tooth.”
elena smirks and flicks your hand away before you can reach for one. 
“only if you promise to ask him out. a coffee date. that’s as casual as it gets!”
you blanch at her but she stands her ground forcing you to at least mull it over in your head. 
once again, she is right. you can ask him out for a coffee and pretend it’s just a friendly little thing if the vibes seem purely platonic. you’ll figure it out. you know you will. 
scrunching your eyes shut, you give in. “fine… fine, i’ll do it.”
elena squeals, pulling you into a tight hug. you giggle at her excitement but let the butterflies take flight in your stomach. once she lets go, she points behind her. 
“the fridge has a better selection. go take as many as you want.”
you’re out of the chair and halfway to the kitchen before she’s even done speaking, big goofy grin on your face at the thought of meeting him later and teasing him when he inhales the chocolates faster than humanly possible. 
the fridge is messy as usual—half empty bottles of milk, some past their expiry date, opened bags of cheese and old chinese takeout. you ignore all of it and dig your way to the back to find the rest of them (in elena’s little hidden space in the fridge to keep it away from her boyfriend). 
most of them are the usual ones and you take a few to put it in your bag. a new one catches your eye—it’s just a simple black square with a golden heart embossed on the cover, not one you’ve tried yet and it instantly piques your interest so you take two of them and put the bag back in its place. 
then you close the fridge and make your way back to the living room.
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the backstage at the band’s practice show is chaos incarnate. everyone’s in a rush to set up things in their proper place. the props are strewn on the stage, waiting for their permanent place, the instruments are neatly arranged in a corner and ross is leaning against the wall, cigarette in one hand, phone in the other. his thumb scrolls on his screen. a second later, he snorts, types something on his phone and you feel yours buzzing in your pocket with an incoming text. 
it makes your silly heart skip a beat. 
his head snaps up when you clear your throat. a warm smile spreads across his face, and he quickly stubs out his cigarette, tossing it into a nearby bin. 
“didn't expect to see you here so bright and early," he says, pushing off the wall to approach you. at his full height, ross is nearly a head taller. on top of that, he’s been working out and staying fit, his beard’s sparser than it was before, his hair neatly cut and gelled back perfectly. 
ross looks devastatingly handsome, a proper rockstar. you look like… you. 
“wanted to see you–uh, see what you were getting up to,” you hope the breathlessness stays out of your voice, you hope he hasn’t noticed you blatantly checking him out. 
all that goes flying out the window the moment he gathers you into a hug. his body is warm and solid, his t-shirt soft and familiar. the scent of his aftershave surrounds you thoroughly, invades all your senses until you just debate throwing all caution to the wind and jumping him right here. 
the hug lasts longer than you would have expected. 
when he pulls back there’s a faint flush on his cheeks (probably the heating, you rationalise) and a wide grin on his face. 
“are you excited?”
“to watch you play? always!”
you cringe at how eager it sounds, how desperate. fortunately, ross giggles and offers you his arm. 
“come on, let me give you a tour.”
twenty minutes later, you’re back where you started, arm in arm and excited about the concept of the new show, about their new setlist and the live debuts of some new tracks. ross is already beaming with excitement and his eyes crinkle in they way they do only when he’s genuinely happy. it’s infectious. more often than not you find yourself staring at him and giving him a loopy smile. 
utterly fucking love-sick. 
“jamie’s gone all out too,” he continues. “there’s a whole dressing arena for us even though this isn’t a real show. we wanted to try out a couple styles i guess.”
“oh, you’re a fashion icon now?” you tease and he rolls his eyes fondly. 
“let me show you what patti’s got for us,” he offers and once again, you take his arm and follow him to some corner of the arena.
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the dressing room is pretty much what you’d expected—a room full of mirrors and closet doors. there’s a sofa in the corner and bottles of water on the table. clothes are scattered across chairs and hanging on racks, each outfit carefully selected for the show, each outfit a statement aesthetic for every member on stage. 
and that’s pretty much it.
you plop onto the sofa. moments later ross does the same, slinging an arm around your shoulder that’s almost-a-cuddle-but-not-really. you desperately pray he can’t hear your hammering heart that’s almost in your throat now. he’s so cool and casual, so comfortable in the silence. you on the other hand, desperately feel the need to fill it. 
“elena’s back from her holiday. stole some chocolates from her stache for you.” 
his playful grin returns and ross straightens eagerly. “you really are a sweetheart.”
the word does funny things to your insides, almost like there’s an entire flock of birds going haywire in there until his hands comes to rest on your knee and every thought in your head goes quiet. 
“go on then, show us what you got.” 
one by one you pull them out—bonbons and candy and silly little heart-shaped sweets that were everywhere in preparation for valentine’s day. his face lights up like a kid at christmas, he unravels the nearest sweet, moaning at its sweetness dissolving on his tongue just like you had. 
you stare at him unabashedly. 
“i got this too,” you pull out the two black squares, handing him one. “dunno what they are but they looked fancy enough. i haven’t tried them yet though.”
together, you unwrap them and look at the dark square inside. they look nothing special, they smell like regular dark chocolate too. perhaps they’re a little richer than the ones before, slightly better but he shrugs and moves on to the next bonbon. 
you do the same.
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if the arena was chaotic before, it’s damn near cocophonous now. somewhere, someone’s yelling for all the instruments to be moved. jamie and matty are in a heated discussion with a few other creative consultants. adam has his headphones in and he’s plucking something on the guitar. george is nowhere to be seen and ross is on stage making sure his bass is tuned just the way he wants it. 
you take the moment to stare at him while he’s busy. a stubborn strand of hair escapes onto his forehead, falling into his eyes while he focuses on the bass in his hands. his mouth is parted in concentration, eyebrows scrunched together with an adorable little crease in between. 
a quick thought flashes in your brain—what would it be like to walk up to him and straddle him right now? to set his bass aside and demand his attention in a way you’ve never even imagined before. to kiss away his frown until everyone and everything in the room fades away into the background. 
the butterflies in your stomach come back with a vengeance. ross shifts in his seat. 
“will you settle a debate for us, love?” matty’s voice startles you enough that you almost stumble back but he’s already passionately begun explaining the dilemma. 
you try to focus on him, you really do. usually, it’s fun to give your input on things, fun to listen to his everchanging and eccentric ideas as he tries to explain his vision in a cohesive way. but your attention can’t stop drifting to the man on stage. 
your eyes can’t seem to move away from his fingers as they pick string after string. 
heat simmers under your skin at the sight of them. interestingly enough, ross fidgets with the collar of his t-shirt and wipes a few beads of sweat off his forehead. 
“are you… listening?” matty snaps his fingers, his face contorted in a puzzled look while jamie looks on impatiently. 
“sorry, i—”
before you have the chance to finish again, they’re back at each other’s throats, bickering like an old married couple. you don’t even notice when they walk away and their voices peter out. you keep your eyes trained on ross and the hollow of his throat and his hands. subconsciously, you clench your thighs together.
what the fuck is wrong with you.
this isn’t the time or place to be horny. and yet the more strings he plucks, they more it reverberates through your entire body and makes your head spin with lust and heat. this is getting out of control and you cannot fucking figure out the reason behind it. 
hurriedly, you make your way back to the dressing room. it’s deserted by now—everyone including the band and the crew are by the stage. it’s your luck that the room isn’t locked, that not a single person seems to be in this part of the arena. 
you chest heaves as you slam the door shut, beelining to the sofa in a fucking daze. the chocolate wrappers from before sit innocently in the bin in the corner. you struggle with a bottle of water, gulping in down in hopes that it would cool you just a little. some of it spills down your top, the cotton sticks to your skin and the feel of it against your nipples feels overwhelming. electric, if you are being honest. 
curses spil from your lips as you throw yourself on the sofa, on the left side of it, where ross had sat before. your mind conjures up the scent of his aftershave again, the feel of his hand on your knee, and you imagine it trailing up—fingers testing and taunting until they’re at the waistband of your jeans. until they’re dipping inside your underwear and swiping through your slick folds. 
your breath catches and your hand drifts to the crotch of your jeans. 
maybe if you could just take the edge off a bit. maybe if you could just do this and then never think of it again and then go back to to your day and never look ross in the eye ever again. your cunt pulses in rhythm with your heartbeat, which is already racing faster than it should be.
you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think of him then. his body hovering on top of yours, pressing down on top of you until he sinks into you so deep that you feel him in your gut. you think of his lips, fucking perfect and so out of your leage. you think of the calloused pad of his fingers tracing your lip, your cupid’s bow. 
against your better judgment, you sink further into the sofa, running your hands on your breasts, stomach, the insides of your thighs, all the while imagining how ross’ calloused fingers felt on your back and waist the countless times you'd hugged before. how they would feel in other places.
it’s fucking depraved but the thrill of it feels so sinfully good that you can’t stop your fingers from tracing circles over your clit—languid and loose.
your fingers feels too small, too soft. this isn’t what your body wants. it desperately craves him but he’s busy doing his actual job. your ears ring with the bloodrush and every touch against your skin feels like a zap of electricity passing through you. 
one hand buried deep between your legs and the other kneading and massaging your nipples, you are on cloud nine. once or twice, you bite your lip to keep the moans down but what’s the point? the solid concrete walls would keep all the sounds inside anyway. 
your pants fill the room, sweat gathers on your forehead and you feel it drawing closer, some semblance of a release at least. through the haze you see ross standing by the door, still as a statue, his mouth slightly open.
“ross…” you moan softly, willing this hallucination to come closer, to replace your hands with his, and finish what you started, but he doesn’t move.
a second passed by and then another, and then as if you’ve been doused with cold water, your entire body goes numb and cold.
he’s here. he’s not a hallucination or a figment of your lust-filled imagination, he is really. fucking. here.
you go cold and then hot again, sure that your entire face—hell, your entire body—has gone beetroot red. helplessly, you scramble to get your hands away from you, as if that would salvage anything at this point. as if that would wipe his memory of the last five minutes. 
how did he even get here without you hearing so much as a creak? and you’d just moaned his name for fuck’s sake. the blood drains from your face, your heart stutters—this time for all the wrong reasons. 
‘ross…’ your voice sounds all high-pitched and thin. all wrong and panicked.
ross only stalks toward you, deliberately slow and graceful, and stops a few inches away from the sofa. too far, the pervy part of your brain chimes in, he’s still standing a bit too far away. his eyes look dark and stormy, his face utterly fucking calm.
you try to suppress the tremor in your limbs, try to look anywhere but at him. (ideally, you try to look for something sharp to stab yourself with) and it’s then that your body betrays your entirely. slowly, as if against your will, your eyes slide down his body and linger on the bulge in his trousers. hard and prominent and fucking big enough to make you salivate despite the current situation.
“what are you doing here?” the words comes out as a weak whisper. 
“watching you.”
his voice sounds deep and husky, with a dangerous edge to it. his eyes roam all over your body, or whatever’s visible of it—over your stomach and a sliver of underboob—and heat, more intense than you felt just minutes before, floods your entire body. 
and yet, you still can’t look him in the eye. 
“you are fucking stunning,” he breathes.
the words make your brain short-circuit. hastily, you try to cover your face, wishing for the earth to swallow you whole and spit you out into some parallel universe where ross just doesn’t exist anymore. 
“oh, baby,” he tuts, moving closer until you’re face-to-face, and even now it isn’t enough. inspite of your humiliation, you want him closer, on top of you, and under your skin, and inside you, pounding into you until you are dumb and drooling.
he hooks a finger under your chin, tilting it up so that you have no choice but to look him in the eye. your mouth goes dry at the sight of them. his pupils are dilated to the point where his hazel eyes are almost completely black.
“don’t–don’t hide from me… you have no idea how long, i…” the rest of it dies on his lips when you whimper. your body feels liquid, blood flowing through your veins like molten lava, searing every inch of skin that’s begging for his touch. 
“so touch me then,” the voice that comes out of you is pathetic, needy, but you can’t care less right now. if you had to stay in this state of limbo anymore the flimsy little thread holding the last of your sanity together would snap.
agonisingly slow, he pulls his t-shirt over his head. his chest gleams with sweat, tattoos starkly visible against his pale skin and you want to trace each and every one of them with your tongue, memorise all the grooves of his body with your fingers, fill up his scent into your lungs until it’s all you can smell. 
just in his trousers now, he settles over you, knee pressed between your wide-open legs, brushing against your clothed clit. you hiss at the barest of touches. ross looking down at you is the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, enough that you moan his name again. and again when he kisses you, softly at first and then harder, urgent and feverish. 
his hands toy with the hem of your top and you nod fervently, eager to be rid of it. his tongue traces every inch of your mouth. 
“just how i imagined you would taste,” he breathes in between kisses, and the words spear through the haze in your brain, burrowing themselves deep in there.
“you thought about how i’d taste?” 
tenderly, he kisses your jaw, peppers a few more kisses on your cheek. “every moment of these last few months.”
you say something unintelligible, dumbstruck by how fucking sweet he sounds in the middle of everything. his hand trails up and down your spine, raising goosebumps in their wake, while his mouth continues to kiss your jaw, your neck, your cleavage. all you can do is tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling him as close as you possibly can. unable to take it any longer, you fumble with the buckle of his belt, undoing the button and unzipping his trousers till you can palm him through his boxers. in spite of them still covering him, you moan at how big he feels, how deliciously thick and hard.
something in him snaps at the sound. it’s as if he’d been holding back until now, but now he grabs the hem of your top and slips it clean off you. his discarded trousers join the small heap on the floor and he takes one of your nipples in his mouth while pinching the other between his fingers.
“i need you inside me. please ross…”
“ride me,” he says instantly and you nod, flipping until he’s on the sofa and you’re on his lap, fumbling to get out of your jeans and underwear while he pulls his boxers down. 
with one hand around your waist, ross lifts you up until his tip’s grazing your cunt. “go on darling, you can take me,” his voice trembles with barely controlled restraint. and you might as well be his puppet because you obey instantly, sinking onto him until he’s deep inside you, until you feel the delicious stretch and burn.
your gasp makes him groan. 
his fingers grip your face gently, moving it to make you look at the giant mirrors next to you, at your bodies locked together. 
“look at you…” he moans and thrusts up into you. you mewl at the suddenness of it, but it’s impossible to look away from the image in the mirror. you bouncing on his cock, rutting and moving your hips, shamelessly chasing ecstasy. his face slack with pleasure, his eyes roaming all over your body, taking in every inch of it while you take in every inch of him. 
his thrusts are slow in the beginning, punishing almost and you try to increase the pace, digging your nails into his shoulders, until he’s smiling smugly at all the desperately written so clearly all over your face. 
“faster,” you almost beg and he obliges instantly, going deeper and deeper with each thrust. his fingers work at your clit again; pinching and rubbing, until you can no longer look at the mirror, can’t look at anything as your eyes roll back into your head and stars wink on the insides of your lids. 
filthy words fill the room mixed with groans and moans from both of you. it almost feels like a trance—to feel him so deep inside you that your head buzzes, pleasure coild in your belly and you squirm and writhe, trying to feel more of him, greedy and insatiable. 
heat builds in your stomach, the feeling from before starts at the base of your spine again, travelling up until it’s spreading throughout your body, to your fingertips. from the way ross’ thrusts turn wild and erratic, you know he’s close too. 
“you feel so good, so–so fucking perfect,” you tell him, trying to get the words out in between moans and gasps. 
“oh baby,” he coos, “we are fucking perfect together, aren’t we.”
frantically, you nod, capturing his mouth in another feverish hot kiss. “yes, yes.”
because that’s what you’ve been dying to hear for months now, dying to know that he felt the same want and yearning you did. 
when the orgasm finally hits, you almost black out, eyes rolling to the back of your head. your loud moans fill the room, overshadowing any sounds he makes, but you’re too far gone to care. the sound undoes him within moments and ross thrusts hard into you, cumming with a loud groan. you feel the cum spilling in you and running down your thighs, sticky and wet. 
vaguely, you’re aware if slumping forward and pressing your face into his chest. ross strokes your hair softly until you can get your breathing back to normal. 
you giggle in his chest when the conversation with elena springs back into your mind. it feels so far away now, like it happened days ago instead of hours ago. 
“what?” ross asks, sounding a bit amused. 
“i was supposed to ask you out for coffee. elena dared me, in exchange for the chocolate.”
he giggles at your answer, pressing a quick kiss on your head, which instantly makes your heart melt. 
“those chocolates were… something.”
you snort. that’s one way to put it. finally, you pull away, looking at him properly for the first time. his face is flushed and coated in sweat but he looks… happy. more than you’ve seen him before. 
“so… coffee?” you bite your lip, irrationally shy now of all times. 
ross kisses you in response, sweet and slow, a proper chaste kiss as if you’re not sat on his lap, still naked and dripping with his cum. but you kiss him back equally slow, giggling like a teenager. 
“like you have to ask.”
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clotpolesonly · 5 months
Text
thinking about Declan and the moth again
it HAUNTS ME that the moth is one of the few times that Declan seems to lose his self-awareness completely. like, yeah, he's the ultimate king of repression, but he's usually very conscious of what he's repressing and the fact that he's repressing it. he knows his issues.
he knows that he forces down his emotions in an unhealthy way so that he can be the adult in the room at far too young an age. he knows he can't form healthy relationships because of a lifetime of danger and insecurity. he knows he dehumanized his mother as a means to cope with their batshit family situation. he knows he's competing with his father's ghost for a place in Ronan's life. he knows he resents Matthew for being the primary factor in his parentification and loss of opportunity in life. he knows he loves his father no matter how much he tries to convince himself to hate him. he knows he feels trapped in the life he's leading, doesn't see a way out, and likely wouldn't take it if he did because it would be at the expense of his brothers.
all of these things, Declan acknowledges openly, either to himself in narration or out loud to others. he may delude himself about how well he's coping with his issues, but he has no illusions about what his issues ARE.
except for the fucking moth.
it's such a perfect, on-the-nose symbol that it almost strains credulity for Declan not to acknowledge it as such, and yet not once does he ever look at the moth and feel the way he did about the black string art exhibit that made him recognize how trapped he felt in his life. "how the moth had beaten against the walls for those first few days, until it had learned it could not escape."
the learned helplessness of it - there's no point fighting to get free, just lie down and accept that this is your life. know what you're allowed to do, and have, and be. know what you're not. a creature of his father's making, confined by his father's hand.
and not even something as eye-catching as a butterfly, no, but a quieter subtler moth with eyes like glittering purple-black marbles that will never get to live a life because Niall made it so.
and the symbolic parallel of the display case and the townhouse. the rigid real world structures that Declan himself requested, because they made him feel more secure than being surrounded by dreams, and that his father provided in a well-meaning but ultimately short-sighted attempt to accommodate him. things that Declan only recognizes much later as the cages that they were.
Declan now regrets demanding his dad make the display case by hand, and when he puts himself through Ronan's bad-feeling security system at the end of the series, the memory it hits him with is inheriting the sterile alexandria townhouse that was exactly what he'd claimed to want.
these are symbols of Declan's complicity, in a manner of speaking, in the whole tragic mess that was his upbringing. at some point, quite early on, Declan's oppression became a joint effort, something that he participated in (because a complete lack of control in the situation would have felt worse). it reminds me of Declan struggling to remember which of them first decided to lie to Matthew about what he was, whether that was his dad's idea or if he'd done that of his own volition, just following pattern.
did dad trap him, or did he build the walls himself? or was it both?
but, for once, none of this is acknowledged by Declan in the text. this artistically-minded chronic overthinker carries the moth around with him - one of the two dreams he will never sell, alongside the gift from Ronan - and he stays so uncritically sentimental about it that he releases it on his wedding day with happy/nostalgic tears in his eyes, and it just boggles my mind.
this is the man who looked at a bunch of string and had the immediate revelation that he was utterly miserable and trapped in a spiderweb of a life precariously balanced on a knife's edge where one wrong move could get him and everyone he loved killed, but he looks at a direct, uncomplicated, one-to-one representation of himself and somehow does not recognize that it is not something to think of fondly. that, yes, it may be a symbol of his father's love for him, but it's not good.
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