#get is cause they're gay and smoke

[whorishirishpunk]

got bored and made a bag cause the zip on my other one is annoying

it closes via a magnet my friend rónán gave me (ty broski you're awesome)

me and my friend féidh are gonna be getting spikes for it today

[foone]

So an important thing about all those times some conservative paper is writing about how "SOME MOVIE/SHOW IS ANTI-CHRISTIAN LGBT PROPAGANDA!" and then it turns out the thing has, like, one scene where it's implied one character is trans or a high school guy mentions his offscreen boyfriend... This isn't an overreaction, exactly, though it often gets called that.

Because it's never as "bad" as you'd expect from all that. The new peanuts film doesn't star "Chelsea Brown", a transfemme lesbian who uses neopronouns and is in a polycule with three (possibly weed-smoking) girlfriends. As amusing as that'd be... It's always just one lesbian who had a chaste kiss with her wife at a birthday party.

Instead the correct takeaway is that they are telling on themselves exactly how much LGBT content they think is too much:

Any.

The amount of LGBT representation they think is correct is none. It doesn't matter how respectable it is, if they're married, if it's just the most sexless thing you've ever seen, if it's just hinted at and not stated outright or shown... It's too much.

And that's important because it's not exactly what they are saying. They are saying "this has gone too far, this is too much", which might cause people in the middle to agree with them. Someone might go "maybe there is a bunch of naked gay men in the new episode of The Candy Bunch Kids, that doesn't seem appropriate for my 4 year old".

But that's never the case (with the possible exception of the original unpatched SimCopter). It's how they're arguing, yes, but they're arguing it based on the most basic of representation.

And that's an important thing to remember when it comes to things like the "kink at pride" debate. Even if they're saying "this has gone too far, this is too much", there's no amount that you can restrict yourself to that'll make them happy.

You can't win this game; They're lying about the rules. So be yourself proudly and loudly. They'll complain just as much, don't listen to them.

[the-music-maniac]

I get a little annoyed when people's complaints about zosan stray into the "Sanji would never fall for Zoro because of personal hygiene issues" territory. Mostly because I feel like it involves a fundamental misunderstanding about their dynamic and also Sanji as a character.

First of all, Sanji smokes cigarettes and cooks seafood and shit. Even if he does shower daily, there is no way he smells like a rose garden. So there's that.

Second of all, Sanji is a COOK. You literally cannot be a cook if you're afraid of getting your hands dirty, if you're afraid of working up a sweat. He knows the value of hard work in that regard. For his craft, Sanji gets all up in some fish guts, he hunts, he cleans, de-feathers, skins, butchers whatever creature they've managed to hunt - come on y'all. That is not a man that would be a germaphobe. He keeps his workspace and himself clean cause that's the mark of a good cook, but the man would have no qualms about getting dirty. He ain't squeamish.

Third, Sanji's entire thing is that he ACTS like a refined gentleman, but he's a little bit batshit crazy in the same way all the strawhats are. He's one of the monster trio for a reason! They're all freaking unhinged, Sanji's first reaction to seeing sea monsters is to yell that he wants to cook it. He's fought so many battles, I've no doubt that there's blood soaked into the soles of his fancy loafers, caked into some of the hems of his suit pants. My point being that while him acting like he's a gentleman with "refined tastes" is no means deception (he probably has excellent taste when it comes to dining) he also doesn't fit that description entirely. He strives for it, in order to maintain an image, and it also plays into his whole "ladies man" thing as well. But he's not actually a refined gentleman in our traditional interpretation of the word. He's down to slum it if needed, and will kick a person's ass for not finishing a soup that has a bug in it because it would mean wasting food. Also the man has worn orange crocs. Refined my ass.

Fourth, you can deny it all you want, but Zoro and Sanji have always been and will likely always be, two people that match each other's freak. And by that I mean that all it takes is Zoro muttering one little disparaging comment, and Sanji is immediately there, ready to throw down, dirt and sweat be damned. If he were to complain about Zoro's supposed bathing habits and shit, while I don't doubt some of it would be genuine complaint, it probably would mostly be because it would annoy Zoro. But when it comes down to stuff Sanji actually gives a shit about, hygiene would probably not be high up on that list. He is 100% that motherfucker that would get heart eyes over Zoro eating sugar onigiri out of the mud to spare a little girl's feelings.

I get annoyed by people using that argument as if it's a legitimate reasoning for why Zoro and Sanji wouldn't get together. Like what impression of Sanji do you have in your head? You think the dude that constantly knocks foreheads with Zoro during their antagonistic (gay) posturing would get squeamish about Zoro being a little sweaty? Sanji can be your babygirl if you want, but we gotta stop acting like he's the type to get squeamish over stuff like that - there's no way that out of ALL the issues Sanji has yet to work through locked up in that pretty noggin of his, that personal hygiene would be the hold up on a relationship between these two. The zosan dynamic is Sanji complains loudly about Zoro being a disgusting brute and then will turn around and roundhouse kick a man's head off. Like yes, Sanji. That's not the pot calling the kettle black at all.

None of this is a complaint btw. That's literally my favourite part about Sanji, and Zosan as a whole. Sanji wouldn't be nearly as interesting if he was just a gentleman. Zosan wouldn't be as compelling if they weren't two lil peas in a pod, equally as unhinged. The only difference is Zoro puts literally no effort into trying to hide his level of derangement. Which is also very in character for him, btw.

[bigtedbear]

" 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 "

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐛 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

content warnings: nsfw content 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈 𝟏𝟖+, dom top male reader, bottom male character, mlm, gay sex, anal sex, anal penetration, implied mpreg, breeding kink, implied impregnation (there's existential dread washing over me as I write this wondering what my ancestors think), unsafe sex (i fear condoms don't exist yet), they're both virgins but blade definitely doesn't act like one, the reader on the other hand-, sub top reader kinda, dom bottom blade kinda hallelujah amen, they're basically just both horny losers, medieval alternate universe, monsterfucking, blade is a dragon, mating rituals, extremely brief mentions of religion/purity/chastity, i didn't tag this as yandere cause that's kinda just blade???, hey 🪷 anon,,, pov getting over blade's creepy tendencies because of his absolutely fatal face card

ADDED CONTENT WARNINGS: body piercings (nipple piercings), mentions of lactation (there's no real lactation sorry guys i have to stick to the timeline), HEAVY talk of mpreg like that's the whole premise of this part, nipple play, reader is a FREAK for his wife, it came out way softer than I meant it to????, blade is still emotionally constipated but less than usual because he's also a horny loser

" new contact noted! caller blade has been added to your phonebook! - love, operator t-19 "

NOTE: hey guys I forgot about blades pierced nipples, both my heart and the hearts of my audience were broken

the public has spoken, I'm adding on more smut that's probably gonna basically revolve around his tits will update when this has been amended 🫡

SECOND NOTE: the section has been added in, you can read it as part of the entirety of the post of just a single drabble on foreplay with blades tiddies and HEAVY discussion of mpreg

" welcome back caller ����! connecting your line as we speak..."

‘The atmosphere swam around you like fish in a bowl; dark, dank, musty.

The strange tension in the air pulled you into an equally strange trance. Dazed, your perception seemed to fade in and out, in and out. Fully alert one moment, your eyelids were drooping as a wave of fatigue overtook you the next. You did your best to still the shaky sense of being that rocked the environment like a cradle, opting to try and break down the situation using your individual senses.

Sight: the air was cloudy and gray, thick like a curtain. You couldn't see it, but you knew there was a fire somewhere. It was shielded by the cold stone walls and the glittering mountains of gold and jewels.

Sound: the crackle of the fire and the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. Ominously, the quiet “drip… drip… drip…” of an unknown source tickled your eardrums.

Smell: sulfur and smoke curled and singed the tips of your nose hairs. The unpleasantness almost completely shrouded the warmth of the smoldering firewood. Some other smell, however, also permeated the area… something strong but hidden beneath the smell of smog.

Taste: akin to bile and equally nauseating, it crawled up your throat and threatened to spill past your lips. Infused with the noteworthy copper tone, the flavor in your mouth was disgusting at best.

Touch: there was a considerable weight in your dominant hand. It drew your arm down, down, down. Metal coated every inch of your body, but you were already used to that as a knight.

You forced your arm up, revealing to yourself what you had been holding. Of course, it was your own aged, well-loved sword…

drip… drip… dripping crimson.’

As much as your body urged you to sit up straight the moment you were awake, your lackluster sleep kept your body flush against your equally lackluster bed. Thrown together with what little blankets you could manage to carry, it was too thin and too flexible to adequately support your body.

Still, despite the recurring nightmares and terrible moral dilemmas, you forced your impossibly heavy body to sit up. The tiny wisps of sunlight that peeked through the openings of your makeshift tent forced you to squint. .Calloused hands met your face, trying to wipe the tired crust out of your eyes and bring some kind of sensation to your skin.

How pathetic. A Xianzhou Luofu knight afraid of a little blood.

It was a wonder you managed to retain your position, nonetheless become the unspoken “Chosen One” among your ranks.

Sure, you were tall, imposing even, muscular and sharp-witted. But even then, all that qualified you to be a top-rank knight was equally balanced with factors that should've barred you from the position altogether.

A pacifist, an outlander, and more than just uninterested, you were not only an oddity, but an exception to many of the hiring requirements. It was a shame your chosen profession as a botanist became a long forgotten dream you only seemed to remember when you weren't patrolling (never).

Combing your fingers through your hair served as a self-soothing gesture when you became lost in your thoughts. It'd first been pointed out to you by the Arbiter General. However, as you found yourself traversing the narrow, winding passages of inner conflict, you found it impossible to get into a rhythm.

It was to be expected after a few weeks of traveling. Your body was coated in soil and your hair was no exception. It was starting to get matted and knotted, more than just difficult but near impossible to comb through.

Of course you'd washed yourself during the prior few weeks, but continual travel and no access to good soap stunted what could be washed off your body in cold streams or still ponds.

The mountains nearby actually were known for two things; natural hot springs and… that other thing. While you might have originally intended to climb the mountain for one, the other served a pleasant add-on.

…

…maybe a hot bath would help ease your mind just a little bit.

However, deciding to take a bath in a hot spring was one thing. Then came the question of how you'd find a hot spring to take a bath in. You turned the query over in your head a few times before you came to a final decision.

‘I mean, they're everywhere, aren't they? It shouldn't be too hard to find one around here.’

With the decision made, you made the effort to stumble through your usual morning routine. Making breakfast, packing up your tent, and pulling on your heavy suit of armor, you prepared for another long day scaling the mountain.

With nobody to talk to, the only voice that cut through the sounds of the mountain habitat was your internal monologue. Crushing the twigs and branches under foot, the sparsely marked path was all but forgotten as the imagery of the strange visions from your sleep dotted your vision.

It was only when you'd nearly fell into a hot spring that you seemed to wake the fuck up and stop thinking about the nonexistent blood staining your sword.

Carefully, you propped your pack on a nearby tree, shielded by some shrubbery for safe keeping. Piece by piece, you began to strip the heavy pieces of iron armor that weighed down your fatigue worn body. They dropped to the hard, arid soil.

They looked as though they were smeared with red.

You blinked, rubbing your eyes.

It was just the same armor you always donned. Free of blood, free of stains.

You chastised yourself mentally for being such a wimp. All it took to make you crack was a task and a little sleep deprivation.

When the final piece of armor hit the sparse grass, you were left in the thin shirt and worn pair of trousers. Carefully, you unlaced the drawstrings at your collar, hastily tugging your shirt off to lay on the dirt. You kicked off your shoes and peeled off your socks next. Despite being all alone in the mountains, for fear of being watched, you crept closer to the water before beginning to unbuckle your belt.

The warm water on your skin was a luxury you seldom had the fortune to indulge in; one you hadn't indulged in since leaving. Sinking into the depths of the tide, your eyes fluttered shut. Finally, what greeted you in the darkness of your mind wasn't the visage of murder scene.

Originally, you’d chosen to bask in the warmth of the natural hot spring to clear your mind. Your task and the blood that would be on your hands… it weighed heavy on your conscience.

Observing the abundance of flora that decorated the banks of the water, you managed to strangle an eerie serenity you’d thought you’d lost. Sitting against the rocks and letting the soft slosh of the waves wash the muck and mire off your body, the tension building in your muscles finally seemed to release just a little bit.

Still, when your hands shook while brushing through the knots in your hair. Something unsettling resting at the bottom of your stomach told you not to get too comfortable.

Why did it feel like someone was watching you?

It took a day and a half to find the entrance to the cave.

For holding such a strong, looming beast in its walls, the opening to the nest wasn’t nearly as imposing as you’d imagined it to be. It made sense, thinking about it objectively. It wasn’t as though the dragon was trying to be found…

Still, you considered that perhaps it would’ve wanted to set up some kind of deterrent to all those that dared to enter.

With a heavy heart, you laid your possessions off to the side of the opening in the stone, taking the first few lumbering steps into the opening.

It was more than just eerie how similar the inner workings of the dragon’s den were to the visions you'd been having. Like some kind of prophet, the sights, the smells, the sounds, even the weight of your sword in your hand from your dream were like they were ripped straight from this moment in time exactly.

It was difficult to be quiet. The spilling piles of metal trinkets and gold coins littered the floor and clinked against the pieces of armor that adorned your figure.

Still, creeping in deeper to the cave, you came to a strange realization.

The dragon’s den was empty.

Despite knowing you were afforded the unique opportunity to have the upperhand in enemy territory, it didn’t seem to calm your anxious heart in the slightest. Instead, a new anxiety wrapped your pulse like a parasite.

You didn’t know why.

Up until this point, you attributed your nerves to fear of inadequacy. You were a head taller than the rest of the Cloud Knights, you worked hard for your position, but hard work did not equal competence.

Patrols were worlds away from dragon slaying. The worst you’d had to deal with was the occasional thief, a dispute in the squares, you weren’t killing mythical beasts on the daily. Relatively speaking, you were still at the very beginning of your life as a long-life species. You were a novice—a baby–in comparison to any of your superiors.

Stalking up the mountain, the weight of your sword was perpetually heavy in your hands because you felt you hadn’t earned the right to wield it.

But now, here you were.

There was a golden opportunity served to you on a platter, an ambush. You could sneak up on the dragon, free its head from its shoulders and return from the mountain a hero.

So why were you suddenly even more scared than before?

Why could you not just appreciate this blessing bestowed upon your shoulders?

As more and more doubts started to cloud your mind, you could feel your breathing start to pick up.

Aeons, this entire thing was becoming far too real.

You could pretend you were just going on some other trip while you were hiking up the side of the mountain. You could pretend this was just some training exercise when you laid down in your makeshift shelter at night. But right now? Right now, it seemed like reality was starting to set in.

You were inside of the dragon’s lair. You were inside of the den.

The light from somewhere deeper in the stone maze flickered and tickled the underbelly of the smoke and smog that hung heavy in the air. The shiny piles of gold that seemed to decorate every wall were almost mockingly bright. Even when you closed your eyes, the outline of the giant glittering heaps of extravagance traced the darkness behind your eyelids.

Rather quickly you came to the conclusion that you were hyperventilating. The grip on your weapon became harder to maintain as the influx of breath caused your vision to swim.

Still, when you heard a noise at the other end of the cavern, you ceased at once.

The shoddy handle you had on your sword suddenly became bone crushingly tight. You cringed at the noise of steel handguards scraping the metal handhold.

Soon enough, the shrill screech was nothing but a distant memory as the room was swarmed with the curious sound of rushing air. The thick, dark smoke that hung like a cloud was suddenly moving in a frenzy, rushing about like it had somewhere to be. Instead of clearing up, it seemed the moving smoke only further clouded your vision.

Your free arm came up to try and keep it out of your eyes. You screwed your feet to the sticking plate, remaining in stance and trying to figure out what exactly you were hearing beyond the opening of the dragon’s den.

The pit of dread forming in your stomach took a steep turn for the worse when you realized exactly what you were hearing.

The flapping of giant wings drew closer to the entrance of the cave and suddenly your previous courage started to dissipate into nothingness. You might have seen the dragon from afar when it came to ambush the treasury before, but the sound it was making now made it seem as though it was the size of the entire castle.

Taking a much stronger liking to your former ambush plans, you shuffled to one of the few exposed walls in the ever winding corridors of stone.

Good gods, the sounds were getting even closer now.

Both hands gripped the handle of your rather large weapon, the shriek of metal against metal all but drowned out by the louder and louder beating of your heart against your eardrums.

‘THUD!’

Your heart jumped into your throat.

The smoke began to settle again.

You forced your breathing to do the same.

You waited…

…and waited…

…and waited some more…

…but curiously…

…you didn't hear anything.

You realized something was wrong, but it took you a few more breathing cycles to actually solidify your resolve to check.

‘One…

Two…

Three!’

Cautiously, you peeled your back off the wall as quietly as possible. Despite your best efforts, there was a just barely audible scrape of stone against the back of your metal shin guards. Your face twisted with displeasure.

Still, nothing.

Waiting for another moment, you finally turned the corner and peeped just beyond the wall and back to the entrance of the cave.

The beast heaved through its nose as evidenced by the smoke billowing out of its nostrils. Its wings curled into its sides, but with the uncanny angling of the bones, the posture they had taken was awkward and forced.

It was about then you noticed the glaringly obvious problem the dragon had been confronted with.

A comically oversized crossbow arrow lodged where its ribs should've been. Grimly, you recognized the arrow to belong to the Zhuming. A clawed foot rested over the injury, most likely trying to feel for a solution of some kind.

Based on its current predicament, it was failing miserably.

Before you could even process what you were seeing, there was a blinding flash of light that forced you to shield your eyes. When you finally lowered your arm, you had to blink a few times to process what you were seeing.

In the previous position of the dragon, sat a man.

…but he was also obviously the dragon?

Long curled horns atop the crown of his head, a long serpentine tail dragging behind him on the ground, he heaved the same smoke and cradled the same injury.

Despite your reservations, you approached.

Sword heavy in your hand, you dropped it clattering to the ground.

That was when the man locked eyes with you.

Dragons were slowly beginning to die out. ��

Of course, that was only natural when their usual courting rituals involved pissing off every other species known to man.  The larger the stash of gold, the more desirable a dragon would be to another.  The more valuable the gold, the harder it would be to steal. 

One would think this wouldn’t apply to Blade, a dragon with little to no interest in settling down.  However, at his core he was still a dragon and he still felt the need to build his own little stash of gold for peace of mind. 

What little dragons were left in the world had exactly zero appeal to him.  The proud, strong ones had all been eliminated by technology and weaponry far beyond the capabilities of a singular beast.   The only ones that seemed to be left were those that took to hiding and settling for paltry sums that served more as a courtesy than something that would draw a potential match in naturally. 

He frowned upon it entirely.  

Blade seemed to be the only dragon left in the Xianzhou with the upright morals that made up the core belief system of the species as a whole.  But because of his own steadfast values, he also seemed to be the only dragon that refused to form a bond with one of his own. 

He had never known the comfort of another, never. 

Yet when he awoke, he found himself atop a nest of soft blankets.  Blinking away the fatigue from his eyelids, he was greeted with the visage of a man at rest.

Half stripped of armor, a few meters away from him, a knight polished his breastplate while watching something roasting over a fire.  Completely at peace in the tranquility of the silence, (e/c) eyes sparkled in the low light against the dreary atmosphere of the cave. 

The smell of meat stunk up the corridor with an aroma enticing enough for Blade’s mouth to water.  His clawed hands searched for some kind of purchase against the fluff of the comforters you'd laid him on as piercing red eyes swept his cave.  

Your sword was nowhere to be seen.  

Why?

Blade would've asked if he wasn’t already in an extremely compromised position.  

You hadn’t even done anything to him, he had been incapacitated in his own home without you having to so much as raise a finger.  You had been sent to kill him, even if you had chosen to do the exact opposite as of now, he didn’t know if or when you would feel the need to go back on your silent promise not to hurt him. 

As he went to lay his tousled hair back against the blankets you’d laid out on the cave floor, embarrassingly, he misjudged the stability of his arms.  With an even more embarrassingly loud–but muted–thud, his clawed fingers slipped against the fabric and his face hit the comforter just a second later. 

The noise cracked the little moment you were having by the fire roasting meat over the open flame.  Your eyes trailed over to where he was laying, basically completely still.  He hoped that if he played dead, you wouldn’t comment on him falling back onto the makeshift mattress. Unfortunately, his prayers went unanswered. 

“Careful,” you admonished him gently, “I just stitched up the puncture, if you strain too much, I’ll have to do it again and you probably won’t be asleep this time.” 

Still, instead of coddling him like a baby, you turned back to the shiny piece of metal in your lap reflecting the impassioned red hues of the fire.  With a damp rag, you swept over each and every scratch and dent with a special precision and care Blade was both unfamiliar and uncomfortable with. 

Still, despite the idea being completely foreign to him and the soft nausea that rocked his gut with the unfamiliar trepidation, he found it difficult to pry his eyes away from your hands. 

You used your fingernail to pick at the larger pieces of dirt, otherwise pressing the pads of your fingertips to the rag to wipe and wipe until the heavy armor shined.   This, Blade wasn’t unfamiliar with.  The gleam of the metal mirrored the mounds of spoils he’d managed to snag from the surrounding kingdoms.  After you finished with the breastplate, the rag and the plate were set to the side in favor of grabbing a dagger strapped to your thigh. 

To this, the man sprawled on the sheets visibly seemed to cringe and crumple in on himself.  

He was increasingly vulnerable: you knew this. 

You really didn’t want to infantilize him, he was a feared predator and someone who far outmatched you in terms of experience and wisdom.  You brandished the dagger as you would’ve any other times, but avoided making any sudden movements. 

You cut into the rather large slab of meat carefully, observing the color of the meat and the feeling of the muscle under the edge of the knife.  

Satisfied with the hue and smell of the meat, you stomped a boot onto the pile of leaves you’d used to establish the fire.  The dragon was visibly alarmed by the sudden loud noise, but you paid him no mind.  Instead, you removed the stake you’d been using to roast the meat from the precarious stand you’d painstakingly crafted. 

Using the dagger once again, the goat meat you’d be salting and seasoning for a couple days slid off the stick you’d whittled down with ease.   You dropped the generous flank steak in front of the observing party.  You sheathed the dagger in its holster on your thigh once again, dropping back onto the stone you’d turned into a makeshift stool.  

It took Blade a moment to realize that the portion of meat was for him.  His mouth watered at the smell, especially since the hide had been pierced and the true aroma of the seasonings began to mingle with meat.  He poked at it carefully with a taloned finger.  

You watched him prod at the food, crossing your arms in front of your your chest as you observed.

“...”

“...”

Finally, the other man pulled himself to sit up.  Dragging the meal into his lap, he began to eat. 

Once again, you watched him with a nonchalance that sent the hairs on the back of Blade’s neck standing up. 

After he finished eating, you seemed to turn away from him once again to give him his privacy.  Instead, you picked up the next piece of dirty armor to start to scrub off the accumulated dirt.  

“Why?” 

Blade’s cheeks simmered a baby pink upon the realization his voice had cracked.  Instead of pointing it out, you skipped over it entirely. 

“Why what?” 

“Why are you helping me?” 

You shrugged.  

He blinked.  

“...”

“...”

You hummed, “Perhaps I’m not cut out to be a knight.” 

He balked at your response. 

You bit the inside of your cheek, “The entire time I was climbing the mountain, I thought I was scared I wouldn’t be able to kill you.”  You chipped away at the building dirt on the surface of your shin guard, “I eventually realized it wasn’t that I couldn’t kill you.”

“...”

“...”

“...Then what’s stopping you?”  His clawed fingers gripped at the plush material beneath him, “You need to kill me, so why don’t you?” 

You sighed, sweeping off the chalky remains of a particularly rough mud stain, “I don’t want to.  I really don’t want to kill you; I don’t want to kill anyone.”  You held the rag tight in your offhand,  “If I can, I really want to solve this in a way where you don’t die.” 

“...”

“...”

“...”

You swallowed the building lump of spit at the back of your throat,

“So, name your price.  What exactly do you need in order to stop attacking Xianzhou?”

What did Blade want in return for not attacking the Xianzhou Alliance?

He didn’t know.

He was honest in not knowing what he wanted in exchange. You appreciated it… to a certain extent. He was honest and he didn’t lie to you when he said he didn’t know, but his indecision also put you in the precarious position of not knowing whether or not he was stringing you along until he healed and could properly fight you.

You were half tempted to put a deadline on his decision, but every time you looked over at his pitiful body lounging around on your blankets in his loose drapery, you decided against it.

It was around this point you learned his name.

You had what you liked to believe was a gentleman’s agreement. Even with the lack of any verbal acknowledgement, you would stay here and oversee his healing process. Eventually, he would make a decision on what he wanted in exchange for peace. Even if he decided there really wasn’t anything you could provide for him, he would allow you to walk away from this alive if you ultimately came to the decision to not try to kill him.

It was a little bit awkward to start with, neither trusted the other.

You were worried he’d grow tired of you taking up the space in his cave and slaughter you in your sleep. He was worried you’d do the same if you eventually grew tired of his indecision or some kind of outside pressure from your commander came up. Still, that was an awkward conversation to bring up so you opted to avoid it entirely.

After a week or so, the two of you seemed to grow a lot more comfortable with each other. It was about then you were starting to run out of meat.

While Blade had been unconscious, you’d been making trips to and from the closest water source to get your hands on some water for stew. You boiled some of the rabbit bones you’d held onto for broth, pulled out some salt and leftover meat you dried to make him some soup. He couldn’t chew while he was awake so that was the best you could do for him.

When you started running out of those ingredients, you went out and brought back a mountain goat for meat. While in the process of cooking yourself a nice, juicy flank steak, Blade had woken up. It’d be rude to hold a big hunk of meat in front of him without giving him some of the spoils, especially since he hadn’t been eating anything but bland rabbit stew while he was out of it. For the next few days, you cooked up what remained of the goat and shared it between the two of you.

Goats were not an infinite source of magical forever meat though, so you ended up having to go out to get more food. You left and came back with another goat, started cooking it. Around the time you came back, it seemed Blade was waking up from a nap and he fully came around when the cooked meat was basically being dangled right in front of his nose.

Once again, there weren’t any words exchanged between the two of you but the air seemed to be a lot more relaxed than usual. He didn’t seem to be picking at every bite of food you served him and you weren’t watching him like a hawk while you were clearing your own plate. A few more days went by before you actually started talking over your food.

You’d been the one to initiate the conversation, asking if he’d been thinking about anything that could possibly convince him to stop adding to his ever growing treasure hoard. He responded he had, but he still hadn’t come to any conclusions.

You didn’t press any further.

The next day while eating, you asked him again. Once again, he answered in the negative. Again, you didn’t press any further.

The third day, when he answered in the negative, you decided to press him further. You asked him, “Why exactly do dragons create hoards?” It was a long talk about mating rituals and explanations later that he seemed satisfied with his answer. You, also, were satisfied with this answer.

A few more days of asking went by before you would run out of meat again. At this point in the year, summer was beginning to come to a close and the peaks of the mountains were becoming colder and colder.

Instead of venturing out in just your shirt and trousers, you’d decide to pull on your armor before venturing out of the cave. While it was definitely warm inside the stone walls of the dragon’s den, the air outside the cave couldn’t say the same. In order to preserve your body heat, putting on more layers was the best course of action, even if the layer was made completely out of metal.

It seemed, while you were suiting up in armor that Blade watched you with a special curiosity he had yet to display before. For the first time since you’d stitched up his wound, he made the effort to approach you first. He gave you a once over in your suit, eyes dragging over the shine of the metal in the light of the fire.

You didn’t know why he was looking at you, but you’d made a habit of not asking too many questions about things you didn’t understand. He seemed satisfied after a little bit, nodding his head and letting out a grunt of approval. You nodded in response, holstering your sword in your belt.

Eventually, you would return with another goat. It really was the only option for food seeing as two grown men needed a little more food than a few rabbits could provide. With the goat over your shoulders, you made the long trek back to the cave and back to the warmth that came with it.

When you eventually found your way back to the same stone walls, Blade was at attention waiting for you at the door. You dropped the fresh game onto the ground, the dragon watching intently. It made you uneasy, but what could you do about it?

As you went to strip yourself of your armor, it seemed something about your hunting trip had caused something to change inside what you believed to be your temporary companion. Your hands rested on top of the large steel helmet, but before you could tug it off, there were clawed fingers fumbling with the hooks on the inside of your shoulder plates.

You jumped, startled.

Quickly, the same talons retracted.

You turned your head to face him, chastise him for sneaking up on you like that and putting his hands on you. However, your complaints were promptly swallowed. His expression hadn’t changed in the slightest, but he still managed to look like a kicked puppy.

Despite the stone cold nature of his face, his fingers clasped close to his chest like he didn’t know what to do with them. The long draconic tail was tucked between his legs and his head was painted a bashful pink and lowered just the slightest bit to avoid eye contact.

Your brows furrowed, really wondering if you should be letting him do this. The longer you looked, the more moved your poor, weak heart was. In the end, you huffed through your nose before going back to removing your helmet and turning your back on him again.

Slowly this time, the hands crept up your shoulder to unhook the heavy plate from your bicep. You didn’t pay him any mind the second time around, undoing the buckle that kept your metal handguards flush against the back of your knuckles.

He was a quick learner, especially once he'd gotten into the groove of helping you take off the amalgam of pieces that clung to your clothing. Soon enough, you were back in your shirt and trousers, turning to start a fire so you could warm up.

He trailed back over to the little pile of blankets you'd laid out for him. His eyes lingered as you started to skin the goat you'd brought home.

His home.

Something clicked in his brain as he observed. Despite the piles of gold that covered every other square inch of the scenery, he couldn't take his eyes off of you. He didn't know why.

When you were in armor he could write it off as another innate attraction to something shiny for his hoard. But at the moment you were in plain clothes, doing something he'd seen you do before already. Still, he watched with what he could only describe as bated breath. Mesmerized by the simple movement of the dagger cutting through the layers of fat.

As he tapped his nails against the plush fabric, he seemed to realize something.

His fingers stopped moving.

He blinked a couple times

'Yes,' he concluded,

... perhaps he knew what he wanted.

It was quiet, as it usually was for the majority of the time you would be eating dinner.   Usually, you’d be the one to initiate the same conversation every single day.  It was monotonous and predictable to the point that you could recite word for word what the two of you would say, the tone, and in what order. 

“Have you thought about my offer at all, today?” 

“I have.” 

“Have you come any closer to making a decision?”

“I have not.” 

If nothing else, you could count on Blade to be reliable. 

Tonight however, your mind wandered.  

Instead of striking up the usual conversation the two of you would have over dinner, you found your thoughts drifting off to your life on the Luofu.  The temporary situation you found yourself in wasn’t bad, not at all even.   If you were to make any complaints, it would be about how lonely you felt. 

Even if you had a dragon to keep you company day in and day out, the dragon wasn’t all that good at being company.  He didn’t like to talk but he liked to watch.  Instead of having someone to pass comfortable silence with, it felt more like you were being observed by a camera. 

Again, you really didn’t mind.  You enjoyed your solitude and alone time.  Today specifically, you reminisced on your home, your garden, your coworkers.  You missed the privacy that came with living alone, you missed quiet afternoons on your days off tending to a low maintenance garden.   Even if your coworkers annoyed you most of the time, they still made the effort to make you feel included.  

Adrift among the clouds of memory lane, it completely slipped your mind to start up your usual conversation.  Not only did you not pick up normal conversation, it seemed you were somewhere else altogether.   You didn’t even notice the nervous fidgeting across the makeshift fire pit.  

Blade’s long nails tapped all but silently on the cushioned ground.  The long tail that trailed behind him swished back and forth quicker than usual.  Instead of the same lethargic, languid movement, scales brushed over the bed haphazardly like the pendulum of a grandfather clock.  

Tonight, he would be the one to initiate the conversation. 

“I’ve thought about your offer.” 

You blinked a couple times, taking a second to process what was being said.  

“You have?” 

Finally in the present moment, your hand reached forward for your own share of dinner laid out between the two of you.   Absent-mindedly you raised the steak to your mouth, chewing and swallowing in the time it took for the other man to respond. 

“I have.” 

The tapping of his nails ceased, instead taking to poking and prodding his food.  

You nodded, falling into the familiar lull of the conversation.  “Have you come any closer to making a decision?” 

“...”

“...”

A pause. 

That was new. 

“I have.” 

“...”

“...”

That was newer.  

You finally tore your gaze away from the slab of meat in front of you, making direct eye contact.  

His expression was immovable and stone cold as before.  At least, it appeared to be upon first glance.  You were quick to notice the tension in his jaw and the tiny crease between his eyebrows.  It seemed he was… nervous? 

“...you have?” 

Instead of responding verbally, he gave a curt nod of the head.  

“...”

“...”

You tilted your head to the side, thoughts of eating all but abandoned the more and more the reality of the situation set in.  

“What did you end up deciding?”

“...”

“...”

He folded his arms into his lap, swallowing the lump of spit at the back of his throat in the process.  “I want you to stay here; permanently.” 

“...”

“...”

You cocked your head to the side, “...as a companion?” 

“...”

It took him a second to respond; his hand clenched around the hunk of flesh in his palm.  Internally, you cringed at the noise his talons made tearing into the meat. 

“...I suppose it'd be similar to that.” 

You didn't grasp what he was trying to get at, still.  “Similar?  I… I'm getting the feeling that I'm not quite following.” 

He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth.  You could feel a pang of anxiety nip at the corners of your pulse.   Like always, it seemed he struggled to find the words to accurately articulate himself.  He always paused before he said something, searching for exactly the right way to convey himself. 

“Dragons collect hoards to draw in potential partners; I explained this to you a few nights ago.” 

Then it clicked. 

“...oh.” 

Still, the man sitting across from you continued.  “If I fulfilled the purpose of collecting a hoard, there wouldn’t be a need for me to continue visiting the Xianzhou.” 

Your cheeks started to burn indignantly.  “I-” you bit the inside of your cheek, “Wouldn’t you prefer help in finding a partner rather than just settling with the first person to enter the cave?  It seems counterintuitive to collect such a… robust hoard and partner with someone such as myself. We wouldn't be able to produce any... offspring seeing as we're both men.” 

Instead of his usual pause, Blade was quick to respond in the negative.

“I find you to be more than satisfactory.” 

You opened your mouth to respond, but found it increasingly difficult to find the right words to say.  “It’s just-” you stammered, “I’m not- I don’t-”

Your jaw snapped shut after a couple attempts to open a dialogue.   Your brows crept down your face in an expression of exasperation.  You flexed your hand into fists and then relaxed them again, trying to collect your thoughts.  

Directly in front of you, the dragon sat with an unmoving expression. 

You huffed a sigh, trying to ignore the painful flame across your cheekbones, “This would cause a few complications for me, is all.  I’m unsure why you’re choosing this; I can’t seem to find the logic behind this and I’m frustrated.  I want to confirm that this is truly what you want before I commit to fulfilling your request.” 

Once again, he seemed to answer in the affirmative without a second thought.  

“I am sure.” 

You locked gazes with him.  It almost seemed like you were challenging his resolve.  Without any prompting he confirmed himself. 

“I have thought on this matter for a period of time, I have confirmed this is the best option.” 

You chewed on the inside of your bottom lip, seemingly going through the processes that would be required to actually fulfill the task set out in front of you.  Without really thinking too much about your next words, you pondered to yourself aloud, “Isn't the purpose of mating to have children? You really wish to be married; married to me?”

The end of his tufted tail rattled in the air, seemingly amused, “Is that what the people of the Xianzhou call it? Aside from the issue of marriage, dragons have long evolved for both male presenting and female presenting partners to be able to carry children.”  It was difficult to gauge what he was actually feeling, “...if that is the context you must view it in.” 

Your face got impossibly redder, food completely forgotten by this point.  “Well, that-”  you made a gesture with your hands, “-That would require a ceremony–a wedding– because of my own pledges as a Knight.” Your hands fell into your lap, “I would need to assemble a dowry for a proper proposal, exchanging rings, vows…” In a much quieter voice, you all but whispered, “...and the expected traditions after the wedding…” 

For the first time during the discussion, Blade’s expression shifted.  His lips pressed into a thin line.  There was an awkward silence that hung in the air.

“...”

“...”

Eventually, he sighed, “The Xianzhou complicates these matters too much for my own liking.” 

You avoided eye contact, the flush on your face having long crept down your neck and up your ears. “...”

Once again, Blade’s expression changed.  He closed his eyes to let out a sigh, raking a hand through his silky navy blue hair.  “We can go through these rituals quickly, yes?  I don’t see the need for a large affair, the agreement is between the two of us.” 

You didn’t really have the mind to reject him, nodding your head slowly after a pause that felt a little bit too long,

“I suppose so.” 

“I believe a fitting dowry would be your armor.  You will be giving up your status as a knight to stay here with me, will you not?” 

Despite the fact you’d already seen his upper torso unclothed in the process of stitching up the crossbow wound cutting across the bottom of his ribs, the new context of the situation made your face flush a bright red.  Where there had been a deep puncture wound carved by arrow, lay a star-shaped imprint of the memory.  

His dexterous fingers wound up your sides on top of your clothes, stopping when they came to grasp the draw strings keeping your collar closed.  

You realized you could stop him from pulling on them any moment now, he even paused to make sure he wasn’t moving too quickly.  Instead of grabbing his wrists to stop him, you laid your hands on his thin, lean waist.  Leaning against the impossibly soft hug of the blankets he’d been sleeping on top of for weeks, you tried to stay grounded and slow down your breathing.   While avoiding eye contact, your eyes trailed down to his chest.

They were pierced.

Ripping your eyes away, you suddenly were now very conscious of where you were putting your eyes. Instead of giving him any verbal encouragement, your hands gently squeezed his love handles. 

His throat gave a pleased rumble, his hands pinching the ends of the drawstring not unsimilar to how one would undo the ribbon on a gift. 

“I’ve amassed a plentiful amount of rings to choose from, pick two and we’ll exchange them now.” 

With a healthy amount of trepidation, your hands found themselves tracing Blade’s waistband.  The loose bottoms he usually wore were equally loose around his hips, displaying a navy blue trail of hair framing the center of his pale stomach.  

Impatiently, he raised his hips so you could tug his pants off.  You hesitated to follow suit, suddenly seized by a wave of anxiety.  Still, it seemed Blade was less than happy with that outcome.  

One of his hands moved from bracing his weight on your thighs to making a grab towards your chest.  He leaned forward, all but hovering over your body.  Despite being in such a compromising position, it was hard to not be a little intimidated by the constant look he had in his eyes.  It was almost like he was constantly planning a murder.

With his non-verbal request to go a little bit faster, you finally pulled his waistband down below his knees.

“Vows aren’t a complicated matter, it’d be much easier to speed up the process here.  We can say our vows while consummating the marriage, can’t we? I don't want to delay the mating rituals of my own kind either.” 

Like he was following a rhythm, little huffs and panting fell past his open lips.  His eyes were wrenched shut, hips falling back onto your lap with each little movement he made.  His thighs shook as you tried your best to stretch him out.  He wasn’t making it easy, long clawed fingers digging into your shoulder blades the deeper your fingers were reaching.  

He let out a particularly loud whine as your fingertips just barely grazed the little spot inside him that made him see stars.  

His grip on your shoulder tightened, hips shifting impatiently to inch closer to your knuckles.  You hissed, feeling the very tips of the talons start to break the skin.  You started to draw your fingers from his hole, chastising him for not being more gentle.  “Careful, I’ll bleed if you squeeze that hard.” 

When confronted with his lack of self-control, it seemed Blade retreated into himself.  With the two of you sitting up at this point, it was difficult to shy away from your eyes.  His face transitioned from a sweet pink to an embarrassed cherry red.  He didn't answer your admonishment verbally, but it was clear he heard you.

He stopped squeezing your shoulders, winding his arms around your neck instead.  Avoiding the shame burning up his skin, he hid his nose in the crook of your neck.  

You tried to give him a little grace period, but your offer was entirely unwanted.  A few short seconds passed before his sharp canines were nipping at your collarbones, painfully hard leaking cock grinding against your still clothed thigh.

No words were exchanged, but the things that needed to be said were clearly communicated.

His neck was right in front of your waiting lips, tempting you really.  Before going back to stretching him open on your fingers, you laid an open mouthed kiss on his jawline, dripping with a sweet taste like honey. Still embarrassed, he bit back the whimper that threatened to spill forth from his lips.  

He let out a shaky sigh as he could feel your fingers start to hollow him out again.  Almost immediately you were jabbing at the little lump that was his prostate.  He keened, pressing back onto your fingers with shaky legs while he balled up his fists.  His long nails dug into his palms this time, leaving your shoulders unblemished.  You were particularly aware of the movement with the way the cold metal nipple piercings rubbed against the front of your torso.

If he was this excited you reasoned, he was most likely ready for a third finger.  Slowly, doing your best to be gentle, you finally added in the last finger.  He let out a little groan of discomfort, but ultimately didn't make any moves to stop you.

You continued to try your best to make him feel comfortable, gentle and slow as you could manage.  As another moan slipped past his lips, you curled your fingers against his insides for the last time before completely pulling your fingers out of him.

You didn't know how you could tell, but you could feel a brewing sense of frustration wafting off of Blade. Your suspicions were confirmed when he all but lunged for your belt buckle.

He fumbled with the leather for a moment before you grabbed his wrist, stammering, “Wait, wait-” You swallowed some spit to wet your dry throat, “We, We haven't said our vows yet.  We haven't officially been married.” 

The dragon situated on your lap didn't seem happy when he was stopped.  Instead, he hesitated to let go of your belt for a few long, awkward seconds before finally sitting back on his burning loins.

“Go on, quickly.”

He stressed the last word adamantly.  It was extremely clear the speed at which his patience waned. 

You swallowed more spit for a second, trying to rack your brain for the typical contents of wedding vows.  “I-”

He watched you expectantly, tufted tail whipping back and forth on the blankets expectantly. 

“For- For as long as I live, I swear to love and to cherish you as my wife,” the memories seemed to roll just out of reach, your inner monologue desperately grasping at straws, “With the lord as my witness, be it for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part I will fulfill my duty to you as a husband.  To protect and honor you until my final breath.”

You held your breath for a second, trying to think of anything you missed.  On the other hand, the oh-so “bashful” bride seated on your lap gave a straightforward nod.  The next second, his clawed fingers were flying towards your belt again.

Reflexively, you stopped him, only further agitating what little patience he had left.  “Wait!” 

“What is it now?”  His hands rested on your thighs, pointer finger tapping on your leg indignantly.  Despite the accusatory tone of his voice, it seemed his eyes were trained on what exactly was hidden underneath your hand.

“You…” you paused, “You haven't said your vows yet.” 

His brows furrowed, the first change in his expression the entire night.  He sighed, grip tightening as he did his best to ignore the aching weight of his erection on your leg. “Fine.”

He sat back on his thighs to restrain himself, pulling his grip to sit lower on your thighs. 

“As your wife, I swear to…” he paused, trying to recall your own vows, “love and cherish you for as long as I live.”  He took a deep breath, trying to figure out what else to say.  You had mentioned your duty as a husband, protecting and honoring him… what would his duties as a wife entail?  Well, there was the obvious.

“I will fulfill my duty to you as a wife, bearing your children, honoring, and protecting you.”

“...”

He reached forward experimentally, testing to see if his own vows had been satisfactory. 

You averted your gaze, moving your hand aside to give him full access to your belt buckle.

At this point in time, Blade was regretting his own lack of patience. 

His thighs clenched with the exertion, flexing and unflexing while he tried to relax and sink a little bit further onto your dick.  His breathing was labored, the flame of desire flickering and tickling at the bottom of his gut.  You weren’t faring much better, fists gathering up the sheets in a vice grip.  It took every fiber of determination in your body to not slam him down ass first onto your pelvis.  Your jaw was tight, only breathing heavy out of your nose.  You let out a particularly harsh breath the lower he managed to get.  He was barely halfway down and you were already starting to see sounds.   As a knight, you’d sworn yourself to abstinence your entire career.  Was this really what you had been missing out on this entire time?

Without any warning, Blade’s legs completely seized up.  His thighs squeezed together, clawed fingers suddenly scraping your skin.  He braced himself on your chest, leaning his torso forward so you’d catch him.  The change of angle didn’t seem to help him at all, a choked moan slipping out of his usually reserved lips the harder the tip of your dick prodded at his prostate. One of your hands moved from strangling the sheets to wrap snugly around his waist.  

Despite your compulsions, your arm stayed draped around his midsection without applying any pressure. The sensations were overwhelming, so overwhelming you were struggling to keep any noises from sliding out.  In the heat of the moment, you pushed yourself up from where you were leaning on your remaining arm to bury your face in the teal hair that framed his neck.  Nuzzling your nose into his collarbone, you stifled what would’ve been a pathetic whine against his bare skin. 

His hips nudged just a little bit lower, getting ever closer to bottoming out.  Unlike yourself, he didn’t feel the need to try and be quiet.  He pushed his neck up closer to your face, using a shaky hand to grasp the one you were still clutching the sheets with.  He groaned, pulling your wrist to guide it onto his waist.  You obliged him, fully cradling him between your large biceps.  In return, his hands made their way up and around your neck.  

They rested over your broad shoulders, still shaking when he finally managed to slide your dick in all the way to the hilt.  He was breathless, feeling like he couldn’t breathe with how much room you were taking up in his guts.  His core felt even hotter when you squeezed him tight in your arms, carving the imprint of your teeth into the side of his neck.  He exhaled a shaky moan, hand trailing up the back of your neck to tangle his fingers in your hair.  

In response, the clamp of your jaw drew tighter, a wave of heat surging over Blade’s entire body.  Even with your impromptu gag, the sounds you were making were only further fueling his instincts.  You huffed a raggedy breath through your nose, trying to hold back from bucking your hips up like an animal.  You were a gentleman, you wanted your receiving partner to be the one to set the pace for fear of hurting him.  

But you really were only human, and your blood was currently not rushing to your brain.  Your heels dug into the mattress with how hard you were trying not to move, so it definitely wasn’t that you weren’t holding it in.  But he was really warm and tight and sitting still was starting to get underwhelming and almost painful when you were this hard.  

Blade let out a surprised noise when you pulled him in impossibly tighter, followed up by a punched out gasp when your hips involuntarily jerked upwards.  Desperate at this point, you unlatched your teeth from the side of his neck, pressing feverish kisses up his jawline to his ear.  In the process, you really couldn’t afford to try and mute any of your noises.  Blade’s heart felt like it stopped when you whined directly in his ear.  Suddenly very aware of his own dick rubbing up against the defined muscles of your abs.  

You sounded like a kicked puppy when you whimpered into his ear, “Are you ready to move? Can I please move?” 

Even if he tried to deny it, it seemed he wanted to move just as much as you did when a thick bead of precum dripped down your stomach. 

Instead of immediately giving you the go ahead, though, he moved his arms from around your neck, grabbing at the hands wrapped around his waist.  Pressing them back against the makeshift mattress, you took it as the go ahead to move, thrusting up slowly to start. He let out a drawn out moan, before putting his hand on your stomach, “Wait, wait-” 

At this point, you could feel frustrated tears beginning to prick at the corners of your eyes but still, you stopped moving.  You let him press his other hand on your chest, flexing and unflexing your hands to try and keep yourself from busting like a teenage boy seeing a pair of tits for the first time.   You didn’t complain when he urged you to lay on your back, one of his hands bracing itself on your pecs, the other resting on the middle of your abdomen.  

Experimentally, he rolled his hips.  Instinctively, Blade bit down on his lower lip, feeling the delicious mix of pleasure and pain send an addictive shudder up his spine.  Without even thinking, he rolled his hips again to get another taste.  

And then another. 

And another. 

And another. 

And then he couldn’t stop moving his hips, chin tilted up with his mouth hanging open.  The movement was easy and the friction divine with the generous prep you’d done beforehand.  The generous amount of precum sprouting from the end of his drooling tip made his dick slide across your stomach with ease, only encouraging Blade to move his hips even faster in search of euphoria.  It really didn’t help his sanity when your large hands grappled his hips, serving to drag him up and down your length all while his legs seemed to grow weaker and weaker.  It also didn’t help that it looked like you were equally lost in the fervor. 

Saliva pooling in the back of your throat, you swallowed thickly when it seemed Blade’s arms gave out.  He slumped against your chest, navy hair covering the lower half of his face awkwardly.  Despite the harsh impact against your chest, you couldn’t seem to care less, finding a lot more frustration in the lack of movement.  He used a shaky hand to brush the hair out of his face, chasing after your lips with his own.  Before he could quite reach it, your hips seemed to develop a mind of their own, suddenly bucking up into his waiting insides. 

The kiss ended up being teeth first, canines clacking against canines before your lips ended up locking.  He let out a heavy groan when your hips still didn’t stop moving from behind.  Combined with the new pressure on his dick from all sides, his piercings were dragging up and down the dips of your stomach every time you moved. His eyes fluttered open when the two of you finally parted for air, high-pitched whines rhythmically pushed out of him the harder your thighs hit his ass.  

Drool trickled from the side of his mouth, leaking onto your shoulder before he tried to warn you, “Closer- agh~ really- mmmhmmnn close-”  He really wanted to hold back for the sake of finishing at the same time, but the feeling of you rearranging his guts just about had him crying like a baby.  

“I’m gonna cum, fuck, I’m gonna- Ouhhghh~”  

His talons broke the skin on your shoulders while his orgasm cut through him sharp and intense, an echoing squeal resounding through the room as sticky white cum shot out of his angry red tip onto both of your stomachs.  With the way he clamped down around you, you only lasted for a few more thrusts before you were cumming basically in unison.  You bit down hard on your bottom lip, tasting iron on your tongue. 

For a moment, the two of you lay in a sweaty pile of limbs.   Focused on breathing and recuperating your energy, you didn’t think to pull out.  Eventually though, you’d gone soft and the sound of your heart pounding in your ears wasn’t as loud as your thoughts anymore.  Slowly, you went to pull out so you could start clean-up–that’s what couples normally did, right?--but despite his numb legs, Blade pushed back onto your flaccid cock.  

Blearily, you looked up at him, blinking away the fatigue that crept in at the corners of your vision.  

“Did you think we were only going to have sex once?” 

What he said didn’t compute in your tired brain.  

“...huh?” 

He hummed, you could hear disappointment in his tone. 

“It’s customary for dragons to continue mating until pregnancy is guaranteed.”

"When you're pregnant, how exactly… will your body change?" 

For the sake of Blade’s back and legs, the two of  you decided a few rounds were enough to ensure he was actually pregnant.  He lay splayed out on the thick stack of blankets, having made it his favorite place in the den long prior.  He was on his stomach, resting his head on top of his crossed arms.  

“Why? Did you not expect it to?” 

You were a few feet away from him, sitting up cross-legged.  Despite the two of you having been fucking minutes prior, you were still a little shy about sitting completely naked in the open expanse of the cave.  For a bit of added modesty, you let your hands rest in your lap to cover up your dick at least a little bit. 

“It’s not that I didn’t...” Your neck dropped at the miniscule creep of shame across your face.  “I’m not versed in…”  You fumbled with your words for a moment, rocking back and forth in an effort to get your blood from your dick back up to your brain. 

“Pregnancy?” 

You lagged for a second before nodding in agreement.  “I haven’t spent much time around the women of the Xianzhou, usually it was with plants or other knights.” Your leg started bouncing when the air fell stagnant, “That isn’t to say I don’t know basic anatomy, it’s just… that I'm unfamiliar with some of the more intimate changes… not to mention, you’re also a man.” 

To this, Blade raised an accusatory brow.  “You say that as if you still don’t believe I can bear children.” 

You held your hands up in front of your chest defensively, “That isn’t what I’m saying at all!” 

Your partner let out a tired huff, not engaging in conversation further. 

“...”

“...”

“I’m…just worried I’ll fail to support you properly while you’re carrying our child.” 

Another silence hung, thickening into a kind of tension you couldn’t quite place your finger on.  

“...”

“...”

“...come here.” 

Immediately, you perked up.  

Dutifully, you shuffled over to where your spouse had beckoned you forward.  Watching him push up on tired arms and a strained back, you couldn’t help but admire the sheen of shiny sweat that gleamed in the warm firelight.  He always tended to show things better with actions rather than words, cuffing your wrist in one of his hands.   You let him guide your hand to rest on his stomach. 

“The most notable change will be weight gain.” 

Immediately, you fervently nodded your head, completely at attention.  

“The weight gain won’t just be my stomach,” he continued, “the rest of my body will start to swell.  Simple tasks like walking and bending over will become difficult, especially in the later stages of pregnancy.” 

You nodded a little bit slower. 

“Physical illness is also possible, but my ancestors didn’t struggle with it as commonly as other draconic lines.”  He positioned your hand at his hips, “During the first trimester, I’ll likely become more sensitive to smells.  That can cause symptoms like vomiting.” 

His grip eventually guided your hand to his back, all but tilting your body to drape over him.  “The added weight will stress the back.  I’ll be relying on you to do much of the heavy lifting.” 

You nodded again, even slower than the last time. 

Finally, he moved your hand to rest on his chest.  The rush of cold from the silver piercing sent a rush of red hot flame to your cheeks.  For the sake of paying attention to your pretty wife lecturing you about what would happen when he gets pregnant, you wrestled any nasty thoughts out of your mind. 

“Based on genetics, the chest will begin swelling around the end of the second trimester.” With the minimal amount of light in the room, you could just barely make out the pink hue on the usual impassive features of the man in front of you.  “I’ll be unusually sensitive, at times I could start lactating.” 

“...lactating?”

Suddenly, all your efforts to be a gentleman were forgotten.

You repeated it again, this time a little bit louder.  “Lactating?” 

Blade didn’t respond.

Unintentionally, your grip on his tit got a little bit tighter.  

He grunted, his own grip around your wrist tightening.  “How else would I feed the child?” 

This time, you didn't answer him. Your free hand was moving from your lap to tickle up his exposed side. 

The higher up his side your touch danced on his skin, the darker he could feel the flush on his cheeks.  Now, he was the one to avoid looking you in the eyes.  Even in his embarrassment, he didn’t stop you from pushing him to lay flat on his back.   He didn’t stop you when you kissed the underside of his jaw, he also didn’t stop you as you kissed a line down his jaw to his collarbones.  

Most importantly, he still didn’t stop you when your teeth clacked against one of his piercings.   

“How long will that take?” 

In this position, there were two things that seemed to jump out to Blade in particular. 

One, your breath was fanning hot against his chest and especially steamy over the nipple you were hovering over. 

Two, your hard-on was starting to leak on his leg. 

Much to your dismay his lips pressed into a tight line.  However, even in the face of a roadblock, you didn’t relent.  Experimentally, you licked a stripe up the exposed skin in between his pecs, drinking in the explosive shudder that ripped through his body.  

Trembling fingers all of sudden were tangled in your hair, unsure whether or not to push your head away or pull it in closer.   In the thick of it, you almost didn’t catch him muttering under his breath. 

“...pervert.” 

In retaliation, you tugged on one of the silver piercings with your teeth.   He let out a strained whimper, suddenly pulling your hair away from his chest.  You pinched the other nipple between two fingers, listening to the whine that was forced out of his throat.  Eventually, you relented with a lewd click of enamel against metal and the even lewder noise created by the spit accumulating on his skin.   “What was that?” 

Even if your sudden burst of confidence was out of the blue (and starting to make him nervous), Blade’s own pride didn’t allow him to take anything back. 

“Pervert.” 

You cupped his pecs with both hands, sitting up on your elbows to make a point.  “Ah, but last I checked you like this just as much as I do.”  To punctuate your statement,  you rutted against the inside of his thigh, all but pointing at his own excitement with your cock.  

He looked away, closing his eyes shut with furrowed eyebrows. 

An amused smile pulled at your features, suddenly emboldened by the surplus of blood rushing to your dick.  “So tell me, how long will it take until you start producing milk?” 

“...”

“...”

“...6 months.” 

You frowned, groping his chest with both hands.  Only a little groan managed to slip past Blade’s lips.  “Ah… are you sure?  Your chest already seems sensitive.” 

He nodded his head, still refusing to make eye contact.  

You rolled one of his nipples in your hand, positively ecstatic when his dick twitched in tandem.  “You’ll start lactating because you’re pregnant, right?” 

Thinking nothing of it, Blade gave a hum of affirmation.  

There was your opening.  “I think I should test to see if you’re actually pregnant then.” 

Before he could process your words, your lips were already suctioned around one of his nipples.  He bit down hard on his bottom lip, failing miserably to drown out the whine caught in the back of his throat. “That’s not- HnNg~” 

Obviously, you didn’t neglect the other one.  While your tongue laved over one, you pinched and pulled at the other with a pair of fingers.  You groaned when his claws started to dig into the back of your head, the tight pressure only serving to add another layer of intimacy to the moment.  He gave a particularly high-pitched whine when you started to thrust your cock against the inside of hip dip.  

“Mmhgn~ Wait- ahn~ Wait-” he pleaded. 

Insistently, you hooked your canines around the piercing and continued to suck on his chest. That was enough to have him rutting against your stomach.  At this point, you finally pulled off of his chest with what one would call “a shit-eating grin”.  

“Hm, nothing seemed to come out… maybe I’ll have better luck with the other one.”  

The hand he was using to grapple the sheets flew up to your shoulder, trying to push your head back, “That isn’t how it works!” 

Despite his complaints while you moved your head, they all seemed to get caught in his throat when your lips wrapped around his other nipple.  His chest shook with the effort it took to breath through his nose without letting out any more pathetic whimpers.   This time you got nasty with it. After a moment of suckling on his hardened bud until it turned a cherry red, you pulled back to spit on it.  

At the same time, you flicked his other piercing with two fingers.  Drool spilling past your lips at this point,  you watched with satisfaction as his head fell back against the comforter.  His thighs started to rub together as you flicked the nipple that wasn’t in your mouth again a little harder the second time around.  

Feeling a little extra mean, you locked your teeth on the soft skin before pinching the other abused nub hard.   He keened, nails scratching bloody lines into your upper back.  Ultimately, you took your mouth off of his chest in favor of starting to kiss up the center of his chest in between his tits.  

In between leaving sloppy wet kisses on his collarbones, you smiled, hands trailing back down to his sides before finally hooking the underside of his thighs.  You looped one of his shins over your shoulder, watching with glee the panic interlaced in the way he whipped his head around to look you in the eyes.  

You leaned over him, basically folding him in half to put a kiss on his lips.  

“Nothing’s coming out… I’m not really sure you’re pregnant yet.” 

You hooked his other thigh over your hip, blowing on his ear when your hand wrapped around your cock.  Alarmed, his hands braced themselves on your shoulder.  “What are you-”

You lined yourself up with his ass, biting on his earlobe.  “Well, I thought maybe we’d go a couple more rounds to really make sure you’re pregnant.”

there's a note attached to the side of the phone booth, read it?

" you guys have to promise not to make fun of me for writing this after making a bit about how much mpreg terrifies me "

to my dearest anon for whom this was written:

i hope you're doing better SINCE YOU TOOK YOUR MEDICINE

YOU BETTER KEEP TAKING UR MEDICINE OR I'M NOT GONNA START ON UR SHORT REQUEST AFTER THIS ONE

to everyone else:

mentioned briefly in my little posts between updates, it's been so long since I've written smut I had to like take a break after every other word to look over my shoulder and make sure nobody was reading it from behind me or something (I am home alone with two cats)

one of the most humbling experiences is going back and editing your own smut, like damn what position are they in I've gotta go back and write in more details 🏃

as of now, i'm planning on having my update schedule consist of a lot more short requests than long requests since they're going to be a lot easier to update consistently with

now that college has rolled in I have a lot less time to write the longer form content my audience loves me for so expect drabbles most of the time

i'm still planning book content but as of right now, I'm struggling with concepting and figuring out ideas that I can consistently stay motivated for

I might scrap the book I'm planning right now and go with something else in its entirety, but we shall see

a big thank you to all the lovely supporters who have stayed by my side through my inactivity, you will be rewarded one day when I graduate promise

love all of you, also love blades titties <3

incoming shameless plug: if you guys were wondering about my next follower goal (238/300) follow for clear skin and part 3 ayato fic (mpreg edition)

[archangeldyke-all]

MORE RANDOM SEVIKA HEADCANONS PLS!! i love how you think

more?!!?? okay!!!! :D

men and minors dni

she'd only get on social media to follow you. she'd have to have you help her set up her profiles and stuff, never posts anything (unless she's reposting your pictures with a bunch of heart and flame emojis) and never logs on (unless she gets a notification that you've posted, because of course she has notifs on for you.)

old people LOVE her. she's like catnip to them. some of it is because she's an old grump already, but most of it's just 'cause she's quiet enough to listen to them yammer on about 'the good old days.'

she acts like she hates it-- but you always catch her shoveling your elderly neighbor's driveways during the winter and helping little old ladies cross the road. (she's part of the neighborhood book club too-- just a bunch of elderly ladies and sevika reading trashy smutty novels and laughing over spiked tea once a week. when it's your turn to host, sevika blushes bright red every time you bring her and her friends cookies and snacks: they're all cooing about how sweet of a couple you are, asking sevika when they can expect to have little feet running around the neighborhood)

she quits smoking when you get pregnant with little fucker.

one of her favorite ways to dodge a craving for a cig is to use her mouth for something much more satisfying-- like kissing you, or eating you out, or sucking hickeys into your skin...

every once in a while she'll still sneak a cigarette-- not because she misses it, but because she knows if she goes home smelling like tobacco you'll start peppering kisses on her mouth every ten minutes to make sure she's too distracted to smoke again.

she's sooo frugal. i think the reason she's wearing the same outfit for the whole show is she's just the type of person to be like "it still works?" while talking about her boxers that have a quarter sized hole near the crotch.

it's cute in some ways. she never throws out an old glass or jar-- most of your cups and storage is old pasta sauce and jam jars. each empty bottle of whiskey becomes a vase on a shelf or windowsill-- for little flowers, leaves, and weeds you and sevika always bring home to brighten up your space.

it's annoying in other ways. you have to secretly throw out her old socks and underwear once or twice a year, slowly replacing them with new socks-- but not too quick, or else she'll get suspicious as to why all her socks are hole-less.

she gets a little bit better at spending when little fucker comes around. she just can't say no to her own baby.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette

[morehousebites]

Quotes as House MD

Random shit my friends have said as House MD

for contex, I'm in training to get my Medical Assistant certification and most of my friends are also in/going into the medical field

House:

My mysteries are falling out

Can't a mortal want for death?

That's assault. Don't make me elevate it to battery

No no, don't be embarrassed, you all did bad

I'm going to Hell AND I have to pay with quarters? This is the worst day ever!

It's only like the fourth gayest sport. Behind football, chess, and competitive pole dancing

Either kill yourself or get over it

Don't touch these without gloves, they will irritate your tits

Well y'know, some people come out of the closet, [Chase] goes into the closet

I only let my [fellows] teethe on them occasionally. They're mostly slobber-free

Am I not writing right now? With my words? Like a poet?

You're a sick degenerate fuck! I like you

OSHA is for pussies

I can hurt you and then it will have to be my fault

I'm American I'm entitled to piss where I want

Happy erection day. Your penis hard?

I LOVE bullying children

Sorry ladies, this cock is all mine

It's not abuse if they're living. That's why you kill them first

Chase:

Being lesbian is masochist (referring to Thirteen)

As the youth are fond of saying these days: dope, sick nasty.

I'm a cunt not a whore

He's fat, he needs a vasectomy

She's 14, her uterus is gonna wither up

My dad has a PhD in Jesus

I don't even have a thought process

Ow, don't hit me, you're ugly

The part I'm confused on.... Is all of it?

Victim blaming, it's the right thing to do

Ketchup is such a good moisturizer

Aw man that sucked ass, I guess I'll just die hairy

No sin here, move along

Cameron:

I'm not a lesbian, stay away from me

Numbers, organs, same thing. What am I, a doctor? A medical student?

Not gonna lie I kinda like heroin

Them's the house rules, and I'm the coolest bitch

Wow she's pretty! Oh she's dying

Do you not want to smoke weed on the bus to the hospital?

Not even in a sexual way just vulvas are dope

Shawty is a state of mind

Honey no one wants your organs

Alright I'm gonna go finish my work and disappoint [House]

They can't know I'm a freak YET

Supportive parents? In this economy?

I can't cry cause the makeup's too slay

Whoever said laughter is the best medicine was a man

Gravity is a bitch sometimes

Pleasure myself, weep, and repeat

If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me that, I could actually afford therapy

This is pirated, by the way

I've got my own knives: they're called fingers and I swear to god if he talks to me again they are going in his eyes

Foreman:

I'm no one's babygirl, I'm someone's baby MAN

I can ethically own him in the free market space of debate

You think you have rights here? This is [the hospital]

You're taking a speed bump at 5 miles an hour, I'm gonna actually enjoy my life

There is no opinions on the gays

You spilled spaghetti on the church?! (directed at Chase)

That's not a hehe moment

Do any of you... Hear in the ears?

Infidelity ain't lookin so good right now

I'd be full of shit if I told you I knew the answer all the time

I sympathize with you but you're making funny noises

THE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED THE WHOLE TIME AND I SLITHERED THROUGH THE WINDOW?!

Don't antagonize drunk old men who hate you

[pigeonflavouredcake]

How to organise a grimoire

This is how I've decided to organise my grimoire now that I'm digitising it. I thought this may be of some benefit to other autistic/dyslexic practioners by sharing how my brain likes to formulate things. The trick is to categorise.

I have one large category I'm calling the chapter and every chapter has a number of categories within it and smaller sub categories underneath each one.

So my brain basically works like a russian nesting doll or like a very messy spider diagram. Organising it this way helps me to stay on track and stops me from getting overwhelmed. (I used this method in all my university essays and it helped push my grade up a lot).

I'm not writing it in any specific order but here's a list of what I've completed so far. Please feel free to take any of these. I hope this helps you with your own grimoire writing.

Theory 📚

Terminology

Paganism: historical context. Modern context. Core values.

New Age Spirituality: Development. Capitalism. Modern Example.

Cultural Appropriation: What it is. How it happens. How to avoid it. List of closed practices and red flags.

Wicca: What it is. How it's practiced. Gerald Gardner. Criticisms.

Thelema: Aleister Crowley. Development (egyptomania). Criticisms.

Conspiracy Theories: Development (root cause). Dangers. Examples. List of spiritual conspiracies. List of antisemitic stereotypes and propaganda.

Cults: What are they. How are they dangerous. How to recognise one (B.I.T.E model). List of religious/spiritual cults.

Satanic Panic: Historical development to our current satanic panic. The 1980's moral panic. Christian persecution complex.

KJV: Who was King James. The creation of the KJV. The KJO movement (evangelical and Christian fundamentalism. American Folk magic)

Witches in context: The modern witch. The post-modern witch. Historical context (England. Ancient Greece. Ireland).

Cats in context: Modern context. Familiars. Historical context (Egypt. Greece. China. England).

Transphobia: the idea behind terfism. How to recognise a terf. Examples of Terfism in spirituality (Lister). Dispelling myths and Misinformation.

Queerness: Erasure and queerphobia. Why queer people gravitate to witchcraft/paganism/Wicca. Examples (intersex. Gay relationships. Lesbian relationships. Asexuality).

Practical Basics 🔮

Terminology

Health and Safety: Fire. Smoke. Essential Oils. Toxicity. Wound Care. Biohazards.

How to make a magical space: What they are. Different types. Tools and their uses.

Grimoire/Book of Shadows: What they are. The differences. Different Formats. The Front cover.

Cleansing: What it is. What its used for. Examples.

Grounding: What it is. What its used for. Examples.

Protection: What it is. What its used for. Examples.

Intuition: What it is. What its used for. Developing it. Examples.

Discernment: What it is. What its used for. Steps of discernment (from a Christian perspective. From a secular perspective). Psychosis.

The Year and the holidays: Samhain. Yule. Wassailing. Imbolc. Spring Equinox. Beltaine. Summer Solstice. Lughnasadh. Autumn Equinox. (Historical development. How they're celebrated).

Deity Worship: Scientific Context (Neuroscience of Religiosity). Spiritual Context. Worship Vs working with. Finding a deity. Your religious rights. Critiquing your religious path. For example ↓

Hellenism: Historical context (Wars. Colonisation. Slavery. Citizenship. Pederasty). Modern Context (White washing. Transphobia).

Your Deities (if you choose to have any): Iconography. Mythology. Associations. Offerings.

Spirits: Ghosts. Shadow people. Demons (what they are. fear and labelling. History Vs pop culture). The Warrens (history. Criticisms). Other folklore.

Practical Magic ✨

I have a lot more planned for this section.

Terminology

Divination: What it is. What its used for. List of types and tools. For example ↓

Tarot: Structure of the tarot deck. Historical context. Modern Context. The fool and you.

Basic Astrology: What it is. Historical Context. Signs. Planets. Houses. Reading a natal chart.

Colour Magic: Basic colour theory. Symbolism. Practical application.

Correspondence 🌿

When there's a long list of items and spiritual meanings/applications I keep it in this section at the back of my grimoire.

Colours

Symbols

The Classic Elements

Astrology

Stones

Herbs and Spices (kitchen cupboard specific)

Common plants in your area (invasive and non invasive)

Seasonal fruit and vegetables

Miscellaneous laws and philosophies

[symphonic-scream]

There's an au I never posted about here, j don't think. But I wanna talk about it I guess?

A little bit at least

Persona 5 but Later

It's, like. The main plots for everyone's characters are the "same" but later. Like, they're about 19-22.

I have my notes for them all but on hand I just wanted to talk about (predictably) Makoto and Haru

Makoto, she's a cop. Beaten down by the system, looks tired at all times. The others enter her life and she tries to take them down, and Joker, reminds her of her old dreams. Her wishes to be just and do right, and after getting her Persona, she quits. Drops all contact with her sister, and moves into a little shitbox apartment with her savings, getting a job through Ryuji at this garage

Now, Haru's 21, married. To that asshole Sugimura, and has given him a son. But, their second is a daughter, and Haru is terrified of what life her daughter will have. Her father is long gone by now, and instead of his palace, it's Sugimura's. She gets her divorce, and ends up staying with Makoto, in that little shitbox, with her 4 year old son, and newborn daughter

And this is the part I want to talk about cause surprise! Scream made it gay

Haru moves in, exhausted, and Makoto turns her "study" into a room for little Tenji Okumura, gets a bassinet for little Hanako put in the master, and offers her bedroom up for Haru. Makoto, always overly self-sacrificing, plans to sleep on the couch

They share the bed. Makoto clears all the alcohol out of the apartment. She's been drinking less since quitting, but this is a big motivator for her. And to quit smoking. She's got so many bad habits, and she's breaking them little by little, but these kids, who aren't even hers, she just- she can't let herself do anything to bring them harm

And Haru and Makoto, they kiss once, just after the palace. Makoto makes it very clear she's not well enough to be a good partner for Haru, and she deserves better. Haru, she doesn't want that right now. She simply, was reacting to feelings, and they talk, and continue sharing a bed and living together, and raising Haru's kids, but they're not together together

In weak moments they'll slip and kiss, but. They're both not emotionally ready for anything, and both respect that. They grow closer as friends, grow to understand each other better than themselves

They would only get together in this AU's "strikers", a year and a half after the plot. They'd both be settled into their new jobs and Makoto would be 100% done with smoking and drinking, and Haru's divorce is finalized, and they've just moved into a new apartment where there's enough rooms for them to not share,

And yet,

They have a queen bed. With a quilt they found together at a second hand store, shopping for things for Tenji and Hanako's rooms. They've always been physically affectionate, though platonic, but slowly, it grows. Warmer, more tender, with whispered hints of silent feelings. They both know, but are too afraid to risk losing it all, after they've just gotten their "happy ending"

Sojiro watches the kids for them, and Haru swoons as Makoto calls him nightly to check on them, and say goodnight. Haru remembers her ex, and how he wouldn't even hold his son, the child he wanted. And here's this selfless woman, who cares so much for them, and, for her

It all comes to a head after that jail with the political lady. And, not much changes. They're still great friends, just. Makoto presses kisses to Haru's cheeks and hairline as she brings her their morning coffees. Haru gets to put every emotion into her "I love you"s, and

She cries when she calls to tell Tenji and Hanako, and Tenji, all confused, mentions that he thought Makoto was his other momma the whole time

They're not completely healed from their mistakes and their youth. Maybe Makoto will wake up some nights screaming and thrashing, remembering the horrible things she's done, years later. Maybe Haru will dissociate in the kitchen, barely blinking out of it as her son tugs at her pant leg, concerned

But, they have the others, and each other. And, that's a whole lot better than where they were before

(someone please please be interested in this PLEASE I HAVE SO MANY JOTES JUST ASK AND ILL SPOUT MORE)

[sigmxnd]

Frowning friends head canons NOW POOKIE 👿👹👺

i love you pookie. /p

you have no idea how long i've been waiting for someone to ask me this question

so i realized i've never actually written them all down and have just kinda been thinking about them in my head, so i'll put down the ones that have been floating around + add on if i come up with new ones

tw for mentions of smoking weed (its only once but still)

starting with them both:

they've known each other for a very long time, but got seperated a lot due to unstable housing. they reunited and have spent the most time together as adults (+ they live together)

100% make fun of and talk shit about other couples they see out and about

they are in love. they kiss and smooch and cuddle. physical affection is definitely their language. but only at home cause out there they gotta look menacing. they are happy with each other :3 (everyone else can fuck off though)

in a universe where they survived istg they have like almost a cartoonish rivalry with the smiling friends. imagine that "nice onezie does it come in men's" audio. that's them

stole their main outfits from some high schoolers but the rest they either shoplift or dig through the dumpsters for

halloween is the best only because they make stupid bets and competitions about scaring the trick or treaters only to have nobody come near their building (pim may or may not buy the big candy bars to give out on purpose)

when i'm thinking of a scenario/ship that's not gnargrim, they're in a qpr :3

i really like the idea that they love david bowie

grim:

gets frequent bouts of paranoia and generally has a lot of trust issues (especially with therapists)/low self esteem. took a lot of convincing himself that gnarly actually liked him and didn't have any hidden intentions

autistic. every character i like gets hit with the autism beam it just has to happen

gay + demiromantic/sexual

(sorry i can't think of more rn jfhwieifhe)

gnarly:

does his job good, takes it seriously, but off the clock he's probably one of the most unserious critters there is. he's my favorite of the two so i make him a lot like me🐺🌕

stoner :3

autistic. nuff said

pan/transmasc!?!?🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️‼️🧨💣🔥

his favorite mlp movie is rainbow rocks and his favorite episodes are a canterlot wedding parts 1 and 2 (cause they're MY favorites)

my furry version of him has a bent tail for a reason now and i'm writing something that has to do with it :3 (he also has a lot of scars that i've just been too lazy to draw on him that i'll mention in the thing i'm writing)

uses brainrot terms ironically/to piss people off

(while i do think that the ff and the sf would be enemies in a really funny way, i also like to think about gnarly & charlie being buddies/friendly with each other outside of work. i contradict myself all the time :3)

and thats all the ones i can think of for now. tysm for asking pookie :3

[bengiyo]

Wandee Goodday Ep 8 Stray Thoughts

Last week, everything went to shit. Dee's dumb ass went to Ter's apartment in his kink outfit when he was expecting to have a romantic dinner with Yak for whatever reason. Kao showed up and didn't kick Ter's ass, but Dee got mad at Yak for introducing Ter to the school of Talk Shit, Get Hit. Yak ended up taking his necklace back and then blowing his next fight, clearly causing more money problems for Oyei. Ter passed out drunk on Dee when they were in Japan, and I am over that man. Dee and Yak finally kissed, but it was not emotionally rewarding in the least.

What the fuck?? Why is he giving the necklace back already?? Nothing is fixed!!!

I know they're into sex play, but I see we're letting Dee blow smoke up Yak's ass now. Ter is a doctor so he can't get his ass beat? Fuck him and fuck that. Why won't Dee let him kiss still??

So the dad isn't in the picture? We need to dig into why they need to be world champions after their shitty dad.

I am going to need to revisit Yak's school angst in light of him asking Oyei to help him become a world champion. I had presumed he was pushed into doing this.

Hold on, what is going on with this trip at the gym??

As interesting as a mental health plotline might be...can we NOT have Kao treat Yak, too??

Not the devil trying to ask Dee to the not-prom.

Why does Yak have to go because of Ter? I thought we were done with the make him jealous shit. Worse, are we using it to push Yak to do something again?

I know we not pretending we give a shit about the neighbors when they were playing that guitar at 3:30 in the morning before.

Dee still thinks they're being fuck buddies and fake boyfriends? Please be serious.

Well, the money issues are back.

I'm glad Golf got to direct the first episode of a show acknowledging the marriage bill passing.

This proposal got me. He needs to put a proper ring on this man after we solve this money crisis.

I don't like Taem getting jealous now. She's rebuffed this man for most of the show.

Well, this is turning dark. Been a while since we had to hate an AJ character.

Why would Yak not just say Taem is in danger?? He understands emergencies!

Why would Dee make sure everyone knows he's alone?

So, Team is right that she probably didn't lead this dude on. He deserves to get what's coming to him. I'm just confused about why we're doing this now because the primary purpose of this scene is to separate gays.

Let's be clear: The Devil said he wasn't into men. Why is he here now? Why is he determined now? The mirroring of the vanilla line is just not landing for me, because I just don't get why Dee is still caught up in proving something with The Devil at this stage.

Kwan did not deserve this, holy shit.

Clothes perfectly clean after a fight and a run? I'm impressed.

Did the devil really go looking for Kwan?? Hell to the no!

I like Yoryak saying he loves Dee plainly, but like last week, I didn't like how we got here.

This show baffles me. I want to like it, but it's just not coming together into something I can really enjoy. It's a real bummer for me.

[lvndrptchwrk]

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : i didn't fall from heaven but i think you did

firefighter! osamu x paramedic! suna x nurse! komori

((the ossnkm brainrot continues and this wasnt beta read, just pure word vomit))

osamu's pov:

the fire was bad.

osamu chalked it up to faulty wiring or maybe a gas leak. either way, this building was toast, literally. he was the last firefighter in there, doing a last sweep for civilians and avoiding debris as much as possible.

he called out for signs of life until his throat gave out, and when he was absolutely certain he was the last person in there, he made his way to an exit.

now, being on the top floor of a burning (and collapsing) building, you would think the safest exit would be through a balcony or window. but osamu, bless his soul, became trapped in a windowless room. his radio crackled to life.

"osamu! everyone's accounted for! get yer ass out, the building is gunna blow!" atsumu barked into the radio, and osamu cursed silently. 'would've loved that information BEFORE getting trapped on the top floor.' osamu thought. his breaths became shallow, his mask only doing so much to prevent the smoke entering his lungs. he had to leave, and now.

before he had the chance to think, the floor collapsed on him sending him three stories down and onto the ground floor.

well. that solved his trapped issue. that also caused an immense pain in his arm.

great.

the building creaked in pain and osamu took that as a sign to get out before the building flattened him. the quickest way out was the window, which osamu jumped out of.

maybe he shouldn't have used his injured arm to break the window.

suna's pov:

it was absolute chaos outside.

civilians were being extra annoying as they tried to enter the burning building to try and retrieve who knows what. firefighters and several paramedics were doing their best to keep them away as they treated wounds or put out the fire.

suna was one of the paramedics on site, treating someone who was close to the fire when it started and luckily only had some minor burns. he worked swiftly as the police officer nearby took their statement of how the fire started. the brunette looked to the officer in sympathy as the man he was treating rambled and seemed to not directly answer the questions.

whatever, that wasn't his field and above his paygrade.

he cleared the man and the officer took him to wherever as suna looked up to see if there was anyone else to treat.

that's when he saw a firefighter jump out of the window and land on his arm, which had GOT to hurt. when the firefighter showed no signs of getting up, he dashed over with a stretcher to help him in any way possible. another firefighter dashed over, and the two of them hauled the unconscious firefighter onto the stretcher to let suna check for injuries.

when suna ripped his mask off, he nearly choked on air. 'holy shit, he's hot as hell!' the brunette thought, and it took everything in him to stop staring at his face and start checking for injuries. he wheeled the stretcher over to his truck, assessing his arms and getting an oxygen mask on his perfectly sculpted face. "damnit 'samu, i knew ya shouldn't have gone in there alone!" the firefighter scolded, and suna looked up to see a similar face looking at the unconsious firefighter.

'oh, they're twins.' suna realized.

the first thought that crossed suna's mind was 'they have the same face, but why is the unconsious one so much hotter' followed by guilt because 'damnit rin, you have a boyfriend... one who might also think this guy is hot.'

he pushed his spiralling gay thoughts aside before the blonde twin could start attacking his twin and wheeled "'samu" into the patient mod. this made the blonde firefighter stop and stare worriedly at his brother, knowing he couldn't come along since he still had a job to do.

that fact was emphasized when someone yelled out the blonde's name and he went running, leaving suna and "'samu" alone. said boy groaned, and suna went back into work mode to ensure the man wouldn't try to injure himself further.

"easy there, big guy. you've taken quite the fall. we gotta take you to the hospital." suna explains, doing his best to splinter his arm to keep him from moving it more and checking his lungs so often.

it was the most he could do to keep his gay panic at bay.

osamu's pov:

when he came to, it was noticeably less hot and his arm seemed numb. "-taken quite the fall. we gotta take you to the hospital." he hears, and looks up and-

has he died and gone to heaven? because there was a brunette angel splinting his arm. and of course, he had to voice his thoughts.

"'f course i fell. fell fer you, angel." he says, albiet muffled from the oxygen mask. it seems the brunette heard him clearly, however, as he turned a bright shade of red. osamu let out a wheezy laugh, causing the brunette to smile.

"okay, easy 'samu." the brunette started, and osamu's heart beat faster. 'this beautiful brunette not only knew his name, but called him a nickname??? he might be hearing wedding bells' the firefighter thought. "you breathed in quite a bit of smoke, and your arm might be broken." the brunette explained, but osamu was too occupied with his thoughts.

"i'm sure my boyfriend will be able to help you, you'll be in good hands." the brunette says, and osamu's heart drops.

the beautiful ones are always taken.

motoya's pov:

it was quite honestly a mundane shift.

that was until the news interrupted whatever drama show was on, showing a building engulfed in flames. it wasn't long until the head nurse of his floor gathered him and a few nurses and doctors.

"okay, so according to the paramedics on site, they were able to evacuate a good majority of the building, but there's a number of minor injuries and cases of smoke inhalation. there's only a handful of burns and other major injuries so ensure they are prioritized." the group separated to prepare for the number of patients theyll receive and motoya silently mourns for his previously mundane evening.

he takes a moment to check his phone, seeing a single text from his boyfriend, rintaro.

rin <3: hey, we got a rlly hot firefighter w broken arm and smoke inhalation, treat him and agree with me

motoya SHOULD be more offended, but he knows this job, along with rintaro's, has them seeing their fair share of hot men. it wasn't long until patients from the burning building came pouring in, and motoya and the other nurses and doctors jumped in to treat them.

komori spent time treating burn wounds and ensuring the patient's lungs were clear or would clear with time. rintaro and the mystery firefighter were the last to arrive, and yet he seemed to have the worst injury.

komori excused himself from his patient to help rintaro transfer the firefighter from the stretcher to an open bed, and immediately taking a look at their face.

'holy shit, rin was right. he is hot.' motoya thought as he went to connect the man to an oxygen and clear his arm of soot and dirt to cast his arm.

the whole time, motoya figured he and rintaro were thinking the same thing: they wanted to take this fine firefighter on a date.

osamu's pov:

he woke up to the white ceiling bustling noise of a hospital. it was odd, because there was no reason for him to pass out from slight smoke inhalation and a fractured arm.

well, finding out that your hot paramedic was dating should be reason enough, right?

he looked over to the nurse checking his vitals, and-

'holy shit, did i really die and go to heaven? or is everyone in the medical field just hot?' osamu's heart beat faster, which reflected onto the monitor. the nurse looked over and smiled, and damn, could you become even prettier?

the answer is yes.

"oh! youre awake! that's good. i'm nurse komori, i'll be taking care of you." komori greeted, and osamu repeated the name over and over in his head. komori seemed to talk more, probably about his injuries and how he should take a rest to recover and something about his arm, but osamu was just more interested in how his voice sounded, the little quirks and ticks about his voice and-

"oh, rintaro! he's been waiting for you to wake up, let me go and grab him!" komori says, causing osamu to break from his thoughts as he watched komori walk away.

his thoughts were about to start with questions when komori and the hot paramedic from earlier came back, both of them holding hands and smiling and-

oh. things made sense now.

the paramedic- rintaro and komori were boyfriends.

the beautiful people were always taken.

"hey, you're awake! you were pretty hot jumping out of the window, but try not to break your arm next time, yea?" rintaro spoke, and osamu's heart leapt back in his throat.

just because they were taken by each other doesn't mean osamu can't pine for both of them.

"uh- yeah, you're arm is broken in two spots, and it'll be about six weeks before you can take the cast off." komori explains.

aaand osamu's heart jumps right back down to his stomach.

"s-six weeks!? but what about work? or working out- how am i supposed ta cook with a cast?!" osamu exclaims, starting to panic a bit. the two medical boys just laugh.

"wow, from barely talking to going a mile a minute. you really do work wonders motoya." rintaro teases, making komori blush. osamu shuts his mouth and turns red as well.

"well, i'm sure your work will accomodate you or get you time off, you've already saved plenty of lives today." motoya compliments, placing a hand on osamu's cast. rintaro follows, and osamu has no choice but to let any and all thoughts cease and let the boys talk.

"you got six weeks, i'm sure you got plenty of time to go and relax, maybe leet the two of us take you out for dinner?" rintaro suggests, and osamu swears he might develop heart problems with how his heart is jumping everywhere.

"rin, youre gonna give him a heart attack." komori scolds and rintaro shrugs with a sly smug. "whaat? no reason to stall." he whines, but komori doesn't seem mad in the slightest. instead, they're both looking at him with hopeful looks.

'right, i need to respond.'

"of course! i- i mean yes! i want dinner with you both!" he pretty much blurts out, his face turning redder than roses. the two smiled and after some much needed formal introductions, osamu found himself glad he'll have some time off from work.

he's got a date with two of the most beautiful people in the planet to head to.

((i kinda suck at endings but its okay i hope you guys enjoy this!! if theres any typos or grammatical errors shh no there wasn't))

[lavendeerlesbian]

We get the bare minimum of people acknowledging we exist that's not pandering. Literally all most of us want is access to medical care and the right to live our lives without violent threats or harassment. Of course there are shitty trans people, there are shitty people in every group whether they're marginalized or not. No one should be harassed for just trying to live their lives, but every fucking day I have to have someone remind me that they think I should commit suicide and they think it's fucking hilarious. Some celebrities saying "trans rights" isn't helping my safety, medical care, or material existence.

"Bare minimum of people acknowleding we exist" and yet every major company acknowledges and accepts trans people (and if you disagree you can be fired), every job application now asks for your gender identity and acknowledges nonbinary identities, women's DV shelters are forced to accept transwomen or else risk facing defunding and being shut down despite the fact that most women there are traumatized and need space away from male people, males are legally allowed to go into women's restrooms and sports and prisons where they assault and rape female inmates and staff, and y'all are also allowed to undergo "gender affirming care" despite the fact that it violates the hippocratic oath and is not safe. Hell, many insurances will even cover the cost of transition so either you're lying or you're misinformed. Literal children having some restrictions being placed on transition doesn't count, as children aren't allowed to make many other life altering decisions and you don't complain about those (no smoking, no drinking, no tattoos, etc.). And I haven't even gotten into how the trans movement is inherently homophobic as y'all are trying to redefine homosexuality as "same gender attraction" and call any actual homosexual person a "transphobic bigot and genital fetishist" in much the same fashion as homophobic conversion therapists. Literally the guy who came up with the concept of gender identity, John Money, was a pedophile who did sexual experiments on twin boys which eventually caused both of them to commit suicide. Look it up. Also look up Alan Turing and the Aversion Project.

It's not just "some assholes", your entire movement is built on trampling on the rights of women and LGB people.

I'm sure you genuinely see yourself as a victim because you have been told BY OTHER TRANS PEOPLE that trans people will commit suicide if they don't get affirming care instead of just better mental health resources. You know what LGB activists told gay children? "It gets better", not "Affirm gay kids or they'll kill themselves". Like. Doesn't that rub you the wrong way at all? Why are your activists encouraging children to kill themselves?

Acknowledging reality is not oppression, either. Even radfems acknowledge that you exist and that you identify as trans, but the reality is men cannot become women and vice versa. Also, radical feminism the ideology has nothing to do with suicide baiting people, so if radfems have actually told you to kill yourself on the basis of you being trans (doubt) then I want to see receipts.

[aspiring-artist-em]

I put this idea into a wolfstar discord server but I felt the need to put this into the world.

I PRESENT...

restaurant au

sirius's pov

server/bartender sirius, new at the job, freshly disowned at like 22 or something. he has a reputation around town for being a bit of an asshole because of his majorly asshole family, and when he's working, he is working, and he makes money because he's young and pretty (not necessarily because he's any good at his job) and some people don't like that. also because of the whole, straight into serving and thrown onto bar because he's friends with james despite no experience. but he's charming and people eventually warm up to him.

line cook remus (with the amount of cigarettes he smokes it only makes sense, also imagine sirius trying to flirt his way to free food and remus being like "lol no", might work with customers but not with me). HIS SCARS ARE FROM A WORKPLACE ACCIDENT FROM WHEN HE WAS LIKE 18 THAT CAUSES CHRONIC PAIN BUT HES SO GOOD AT HIS JOB THE KEEP HIM THERE AND HES BEEN WORKING IN RESTAURANTS SINCE HE WAS 16? ALSO FLEAMONT LOVES HIM.

fleamont owns the place, hence how sirius gets the job in the first place, and like james is a manager because nepotism. sirius and james met in school and were close ever since. james is like, the cool manager who actually listens to the employee and takes their side but does it so kindly that nobody really minds it. everyone loves james. he is the sun.

peter is a busser, (why did i put him as a busser? because they're overworked and underpaid and under appreciated which is how it lowkey went in their friend group, it also puts him in a place of admiration or envy because he wants to be where sirius or remus or james are at, and they don't see why because their jobs are all respectively hard but peter just sees the money BECAUSE BUSSERS ARE NEVER FAIRLY COMPENSATED FOR THEIR WORK (-a server)) he betrays them after effie and fleamont dies and james takes over the business he starts stealing money and stuff and forging checks to the homophobic organization called the death eaters.

lily is the main chef. chef lily. yes chef, please step on me. when remus starts to fall victim to sirius's charm she checks him right then and there and is like "uh no you don't". she yells at james to keep his servers in line because he manages foh and "GOD DAMN IT JAMES WHO THE FUCK RUNG UP THIS TICKET" (it was sirius). i present. chef lily.

marlene is also a server, and so is mary. the two are the work besties when they serve. they always are together, their sections are right next to each other and lily loves them so much because they know how to ring up a ticket. marlene is very popular with the younger crowd and older people love mary. their sections are always next to each other.

dorcas is a host and works to go. the end. she hosts and gets pissed off because her saying "Sirius. I seat in a rotation" and "McKinnon. You've been here for 10 minutes you are not cut." just make sense to me. she can take charge and lead and her manning to go and hosting at the same time makes sense to me.

eventually regulus escapes. he gets a job there and actually was a death eater. i think it would be funny if sirius convinced james to put him in foh to fuck with him, but he doesn't survive one day without threatening a customer (sirius intervenes and smooths it over. not really. there's a brawl in the dining room) and so james puts reg on the lined, where he meets remus and lily.

evan dies. he doesn't make it out of the death eaters. he was at the wrong place at the wrong time and he gets killed by a police officer. barty gets arrested, he goes to the police officers house and tortures him and his wife and gets arrested with other death eaters, even though they weren't gay and were white and straight and everything the group idealized. that's what made regulus run, and that's why pandora ends up taking her life.

tom riddle is a political figure. in the background of everything he is looming and is trying to write homophobic legislation and pass it into law. his followers are the death eaters. dumbledore is another political figure. it's the lesser of two evils.

the blacks are known as important polititians (orion) and a cutthroat lawyer (wally), and they make many donations and publicly announce their support to the death eaters. the potters are known for their monopoly on restaurants in london, with fleamont managing them and effie taking care of the legal part. they're both known to be kind instead of cold.

Anyway.

one time sirius gets absolutely berated, and actually hit by a table because apparently he was flirting with the girlfriend of the man there (he was not)and he acts impassively and just turns around and walks to the back where he starts sits in the walk in. remus comes in because they're all looking for him 10 minutes later because "sirius GET YOUR FOOD". he finds him just sitting blankly and tells him to get his food. when sirius flinches, remus realizes something isn't okay. the closer remus gets the more emotions slip out of sirius until remus is holding him, oh so gently, as the new server, not only a week into his job, breaks into pieces before his eyes. There's an angry red mark on his check and remus knows. Fuck. he knows what happened out there and he should have checked on him when he saw sirius walk past him with that numb expression he sometimes gets before plastering on a smile. fuck fuck fuck. sirius is sobbing and remus doesn't know what to do, he's not good at this, his hands break and ruin and can only create with the guidance of others like lily, and then they can make something divine, but right now there's nobody there and remus doesn't know what to do with sirius fucking black, now practically sitting on his lap as he cries about his brother (he had a brother?) and his mother and god he can hear her. please remus make her stop yelling in my ears. sirius doesn't know what to do and he just sits there, helpless as the tsunami of emotions drown him. he should have never convinced reg to skip swim with him because now he can't breathe and he's gasping for air as tears and snot fill his lungs and mouth and fuck he needs the money. his tables have been neglected for what, 20 minutes? what if he was sat. he needs the money but he can't go out like this, his carefully placed makeup smudged with the heel of his palm. calloused fingers swipe under his eyes and he flinches away and cries and apologized more. scarred hands hold his face and tell him it's okay and there's a noise and talk and maybe that's pete but he can't tell and james is here. james is here. and he's being led to the managers office and god it was so cold in there. he's being told to go home and fuck he's fired. oh but he isn't and the kind scarred man who hasn't left his side, who's rough fingers are interlaced with his, is going to drive him home and he trusts him. he trusts remus lupin.

[the-binding-of-gekko]

VALORANT HEADCANONS

Sova lives in a shed in someone's backyard.

So does Yoru and Deadlock.

My reason is that Sova looks like he crawled out of the trenches, is depressed, has a mortgage, his wife left him and took the kids, and he probably has a beer belly. Yoru wears raggedy ass clothes and his only possessions are a mirror, his comb and eyeliner. Deadlock's hair is an untamed mess and she also only owns a mirror and eyeliner. No comb, obviously.

People think Brimstone would be bad at tech, but bro's a Gen Z. Granted some of Gen Z are absolutely useless with tech, but at the bare minimum, Brim would know how to use his phone and most forms of social media.

Sage likes to use Facebook. She wishes everyone happy birthday there and gets sad when nobody sees it (cause who uses Facebook bffr).

Brimstone is gay. No further explanation.

Reyna's heart is like Starlight's eyes from The Boys where it glows really bright when she you know whats. (this one is funny to think about because the boys scene was so goofy)

I think Cypher would be like PR for the Protocol's social media accounts. Cause Jett be out there posting her face to the world and poor Cypher's gotta scrub her digital footprint as clean as possible. All agents, if they use social media, gotta be on private accounts. They probably aren't allowed to use Tik Tok, or if they are, they aren't allowed to post.

Breach has a Reddit account with like 200k karma.

He also uses 4Chan but sparingly. He's a Reddittor through and through.

Neon, Gekko and Phoenix vape. Neon and Gekko are FIENDS. Elfbar, IGet, any other brand, they're puffing on it. Jett tries on occasion, but stays clean for the most part.

Phoenix is used as a lighter for the agents that smoke actual cigarettes.

I got more so watch out in future.

[nebulousgaythoughts]

Ofmd season 2 episode 6 spoilers!!

The way they showed Ed and Stede's first time was so interesting to me. First of all, it happened directly after Stede killed someone for the first time, so automatically, Stede was in a very strange and vulnerable headspace. And that's not to say he was taken advantage of--he very much initiated it--but it happened while both of their identities were up in the air. Stede was adjusting to being an *actual* killer, while Ed had just apologized earlier for shooting Izzys leg.

And then we see Ed sitting on the bed, still fully clothed in leather while a shirtless Stede closes the curtains. And what interests me the most is that we don't even see his face. All we see is Ed looking up from the bed, and Stede looming close to the camera, mirroring the way that Blackbeard was first introduced to the show--facing away from the camera and smoking a pipe, obscured with power and mystery. The fact that their first time co-occurred with such a dramatic shift in dynamics is a little concerning but I have total faith that they will *eventually* talk their shit out).

I don't fully believe Ed when he said that night was a mistake. I do believe he has commitment issues like a bitch, and when Stede started to become more like him, he got scared. We can see him pulling away, sitting in the corner of Spanish Jackie's as Stede revels in his infamy. He wants to truly make amends to the people he's hurt and traumatized, and he can't do that if he's with someone who's drinking, and making people walk the plank, and lighting people on fire.

And it's not because Stede is evil--sure he's a bitch, and occasionally ends a life or two, but that's not who he truly is--its who he's trying to be. A murderer, not a bitch--cause he is a bitch, but he's trying to be a murderer, because his whole life he's been bullied and mocked for not being manly enough. For not being a good husband, for being sensitive and soft, and well, gay. And Ed doesn't understand that this is why he wants to be like him, like Blackbeard (because they haven't fucking talked about it), because for Ed, being Blackbeard ruined his life. It nearly ended it (and others) and he doesn't want Stede to fall down the same path.

So yeah, Ed decides to become a fisherman, because like he said, he has no idea who he is. He still has so much healing to do, so many wrongs to right, and it's just so fucking tragic that now is the time when they need each other the most, but they're moving so rapidly in opposite directions, and neither of them know how to communicate it.

I think Anne and Mary were right--they are fucking 14 year old boys. I mean, Stede literally called Ed a coward for leaving instead of chasing after him. But they're not going to turn out like them. Ed and Stede are going to grow up, and they're going to talk, and they're going to heal each other's scars instead of causing each other more. They're going to learn how to commit to each other and stay even when things get hard or scary. (David Jenkins please for the love of all that is holy let them better each other and also fuck again but after they come to terms with who they are and want to be)

Edit: actually, hot take, but I think them having sex actually was a mistake. And yeah, Ed left instead of talking about it, but still. Their relationship is still so new and unstable, and I wish they waited until they were in a more grounded place. I wish they would have reckoned with their opposing paths before doing something so intimate and vulnerable, but I have a feeling they're going to reckon with it by the end of the season.

Ed asked Stede to go slow for a reason. And yeah, they both consented, which is more important than anything, but damn, it happened so fucking fast. I mean, they are gay, so. (David Jenkins I am in your walls please make Ed and Stede practice healthy sexuality and communicate about their life goals so they can prevent further miscommunication and heartbreak)

[buckybarnesss]

I wonder how much of "the bite is a gift, we're brothers" is a manipulation (Derek needing a pack in order to take down the alpha) and something Derek genuinely believes.

We all talk about Derek's big gay love for Stiles, but he also cares for Scott. He sacrificed keeping the kanima trapped to save Scott, he genuinely tries to teach him how to be a werewolf, he keeps Scott safe from hunters repeatedly.

The "we're brothers" kind of strikes me as Derek wanting a connection (Cora says pack bonds breaking is horrible) and also his way of telling Scott that they can look after each other.

Derek is so complex.

it's a little bit of both but i do not think he came at it necessarily with nefarious intentions.

derek does genuinely believe the bite is a gift. he wouldn't bite someone without their consent or at minimum without having discussed it first. he definitely believes that the bond between packs and between an alpha and their beta is meant to be something special, comforting and importantly consentual. his ideas of what pack should be and how pack should be treated comes from people like his mother and satomi. they genuinely cared about their packs. for derek pack and family are the same thing.

but this was the wrong approach to take with scott who received his bite traumatically and without his consent or knowledge of what was happening to him. saying it was a gift further traumatizes scott because being violated the way he was is not a gift.

he wants to protect scott from both the alpha and the hunters but at the same time he knows that they need strength in numbers to deal with the alpha.

and derek just lost laura. he buried her body probably mere hours before he had to go make sure scott didn't kill someone. he was probably keenly feeling the loss of his family but probably even more so the loss of his siblings. at this point he believes cora is dead too. he's a middle child cast adrift. he's a brother without someone to be a brother to.

derek took one look at scott and somewhere inside him he went

also in season 1 derek's all twisted in knots and grieving and being traumatized and being retraumatized. he's going through it which causes him to have a hard time seeing scott as scott because he's seeing himself.

i wouldn't even be surprised if he believed allison was either being used as a lure by her family or an active participant giving his own history.

no one protected derek. not when it counted. not when it mattered. no one saved him from kate and no one saved him from having to mercy kill paige. so he tries. he tries to protect scott from becoming him, from becoming yet another victim of the argents. it's why he drags scott to see peter. it's a very much this is the consequences type moment he's trying to impart of scott.

it's just that neither of them are in a place to be receptive to one another so instead they butt heads. they're too similar and the narrative points this out over and over and over.

derek does care about people. we see so many times. he saves scott multiple times but he also tries to protect scott too. he kept him away from the whole alpha pack situation as long as he could wanting scott to just be a normal teenager. when he was dying in smoke and mirrors his last words are to encourage stiles to go save scott ffs over getting comfort for himself.

he wanted to help erica, boyd and isaac.

he repeatedly protects stiles and is deeply worried about him during the whole nogitsune ordeal. like staggeringly worried.

he's concerned about lydia multiple times and he turned around at the end of season 3 because he heard her scream.

he even points out to scott several times that allison deserved the truth about her mother. not because derek is cruel but because he knew the lies only hurt allison in the end and led to her become yet another victim of gerard's.

derek and scott are similiar but derek has more damage. his caring hurt him and so he hid it, buried it and tried to pretend he didn't.

but he does.

he does so fucking much.