#geography optional notes

[onlinekmarket]

If you also want to clear the UPSC exam and become a high ranking officer, then do your preparation with our Best UPSC optional notes and fulfil your dream.

[veltana]

Stranded - Intro

✦ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Fem!Reader ✦ Word count: ~400 ✦ Rating: Mature ✦ Warnings/tags: Grumpy mountain man!Bucky, don't ask me about US geography just go with it, eventual relationship/romance/smut. ✦ Summary: Your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. ✦ Note: You voted for it, so here he is! I'm trying something new with this and making this an interactive story! I'm gonna post a poll tomorrow and you get to vote for what happens in the next part. You're also invited to send suggestions for what you want to happen in upcoming parts! I'm gonna be tagging everything with #stranded series.

Masterlist | AO3

It wasn’t your plan to be stranded in the middle of nowhere, but you are nonetheless.

A slew of curses fall out of your mouth as you stand in the freezing cold, trying to get a signal on your phone. It is still light out, but the sun is starting to set and the road you’re on has been deserted since you stopped.

Accepting defeat, you tuck your phone back into your pocket and try to devise another plan.

You can wait by the car, hoping someone will come by and be willing to help you. But you also remember seeing a small sign up a gravel road some way back.

Either stay out in the cold and die of hypothermia. Get murdered by someone stopping under the guise of helping you. Or get murdered by a loner in the mountains. None of the options seems very appealing to you. Walking back to town is not an option, either way, it’s too far.

After some thinking, you decide you can't stay and put a note in the window of your car that you’ve gone for help, and please don’t break into your car.

Fortunately for you, you’re actually kind of prepared for this. You have reasonable boots, a thick coat, beanie, and gloves. Rummaging through your suitcase, you stuff some other useful things into your backpack, before locking the car and starting to walk.

The gravel road is steep, but at least you’re warm, and not thinking about the chill that will come when your sweat cools. You catch a glimpse of a chimney and a thin trail of smoke rising between the hills and that keeps you going. Dusk is closing in, and you hope to reach the place before the road fades into darkness.

As the hill crests, you take a few seconds to catch your breath and get a better look at the house for the first time. Or, it’s more of a cabin, low and simple, but its windows glow warmly in the fading light, and a truck sits outside.

At least you’ll be warm when you get murdered!

You knock firmly on the door and wait. For a few seconds, there is nothing but stillness from inside, before you hear heavy footfalls on the other side of the door.

As the door opens you put on your best smile.

“Hi!” you introduce yourself. “My car broke down on the main road and I couldn’t get a signal, but I saw the sign and walked here. Do you have a working phone or wifi that I could use to get in contact with a towing company?”

The man eyes you up and down. He’s so much bigger than you, with blue piercing eyes, long hair held back by a black cap, and a scruffy beard. The silence stretches and you’re starting to think that maybe he didn’t understand you.

Then he grunts and says, “Come in, I’m Bucky.”

[overthestars-and-offtoneverland]

Olaf's Last Name

Look, I know he'll never have a canon last name and we've already gone through the "Labinski" fiasco.

I wanna go through several options I've been considering for headcanons and why each would possibly work (or not). Hell, Labinski can even stay because someone else has already mapped that out (Though I'm gonna be annoying and tell you why I personally disagree. If you like it, keep it. All power to ya).

Actually, you know what? Labinski is going first! Why? Because it actually kinda helps my case for the other options. Onwards!

Olaf Labinski (Credit to @snicketsleuth)

Pros:

As Sleuth pointed out, Olaf's first name and title appears to be in reference to the character of the same name in Theophile Gautier’s novel Avatar. So, hypothetically, it makes sense to give our Count Olaf the same last name.

Cons:

However, here's my personal issue. Doing that A. Feels a little like plagiarism and B. Doesn't fit Handler's literary reference naming convention because of point A.

Whenever a character has a literary reference name, it is never a direct one. Esme, for example, is named after a poem. "To Esme with Love and Squalor" and Jerome is named after the poet who wrote it (That's the J in J.D. Salinger). Note his name is not directly Jerome Salinger.

Mr. Poe's obviously an Edgar Allen Poe reference. But his name is Arthur. His sons hold the more direct reference names.

Uncle Monty's a Monty Python joke.

Hell, this is actually why I know for a fact that Charles' last name is not Baudelaire. Our leads are names after Sir Charles Baudelaire, yes. But it's no coincidence that the Baudelaire children are temporarily in the custody of two men who go by Sir and Charles.

The only exception to this I can think of is Georgina Orwell just being the feminization of George Orwell because it's a tongue in cheek about the hypnotism thing. But even then, it's still not one-for-one.

So, him being straight up named Count Olaf Labinski when that name already belongs to someone else's character doesn't fit to me. However...

Let's get into some other options

Olaf Gautier

So apparently some of the reason the Labinski thing happened is hypothetically because Charles Baudelaire and Theophile Gautier had beef. So, my proposal, Gautier does fit the literary naming convention because it pits rival against rival again in a meta sense.

Also, think of the comedy of Olaf having a French last name. I don't know if it's funnier if he pronounces it correctly or not ("Gautier" is usually pronounced in the US as "Goh-Shay" [Wrong] it's pronounced in with the "CH" sound "Goh-Chay" [Correct] in French. Source: Lived in a town called Gautier named after the family that founded it. Was classmates with the grandson of this family) The jokes write themselves. I personally think it's funnier if Olaf pronounces it with the correct "CH" sound but everyone else treats him like he doesn't know how to say his own name.

Olaf Von Bulow

Okay, so this requires a little lore. To those of you who don't know, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny get their first names from the attempted murder trial of Claus Von Bulow. Klaus, though his name is altered in spelling, is named after the defendant, who (allegedly, he was acquitted) poisoned his wife Sunny, and was prosecuted by a woman named Violet (The Violet source is a little fuzzy. I just know she's named after one of the lawyers involved).

Dude, how messed up would it be if Olaf's last name was still in reference to this trial? It would be a really messed up way to make him into a matching set with the kids.

Also Von Bulow, like Labinski, does fit the general geography of where a name like "Olaf" would exist

Take it all with a grain of salt, just felt like throwing my hat in the ring on some options that generally fit canon naming conventions.

And no, I will not be addressing the "Olaf Baudelaire" theory ^_^. Too much canon material is super against the idea that Olaf and Beatrice are siblings. One super big one I can point to is Olaf being listed by Lemony as one of Beatrice's potential suitors in The Beatrice Letters ("-or even O"). Really don't think incest is what he had in mind when he was talking about marrying anyone that would make her happy especially since he brings up that R is on the table even though same-sex marriage wasn't a thing at the time.

Love to hear any other options anyone can come up with!

[osmanthusoolong]

“Any move to limit the placement of bike lanes seems likely to prove contentious with the cycling community and with environmental advocates. Tim Gray, the executive director of Environmental Defence, said a move to restrict bike-lane placement would be "deeply regressive" and take Ontario in the wrong direction.

"Any kind of return to a time when our only transportation option was cars would be a huge, huge mistake," he said.

He also fears the dangers that could result from cyclists who would not have dedicated lanes to ride in.

"It means dead people," he said.

Matti Siemiatycki, professor of geography and planning at the University of Toronto, offered a similar assessment if such a policy were enacted.

"That's an extreme measure that will have very little — if any — impact, on traffic, but it could have a huge impact on cyclist safety," he said, noting that six cyclists have been killed in Toronto this year.”

…

“Siemiatycki said "this government has signalled that the car is king," pointing to prior steps the governing Progressive Conservatives (PCs) have taken to ease costs for drivers.

He sees the PCs as making a clear play for the votes of motorists, and believes the policy would also appeal to many drivers frustrated with congestion on the roads.”

Sure, people will die needlessly, and sure, it won’t actually solve any problems, but it does mean that Dougie can get in some hippie-punching to appease the bloodthirsty dumbfucks that are his supporters, so obviously it’s a great plan.

@allthecanadianpolitics

[yamayuandadu]

Is the fact that Enlil fought Kur to rescue Ereshkigal an actual thing according to Gilgamesh's epic or was it just a mistranslation?

There's no such a myth. There is no such a being as "Kur" in Mesopotamian mythology. Not only is the alleged "dragon Kur" a mistranslation, it's a mistranslation which was NEVER ACCEPTED BY THE OVERWHELMING MAJORITY OF RESEARCHERS. And we’re not talking about modern researchers, we’re talking about researchers in 1946 already. There is a brief discussion of this in Alhena Gadotti’s ‘Gilgamesh, Enkidu, and the Netherworld’ and the Sumerian Gilgamesh Cycle (p. 3):

However, it’s basically a matter which deserves no real consideration. I have no clue how does the dragon that never was spread online considering it’s the idea on the most fringe of fringe areas of this discipline, and it’s not like it’s hard to access a standard modern translation of Gilgamesh, Enkidu, and the Netherworld (or its Akkadian adaptation, tablet XII of the SB edition of the Epic of Gilgamesh). The word kur is obviously not a given name. It has three possible meanings depending on context - "mountain" (like ex. in the epithet Kurgal and the temple name Ekur; this is likely the oldest use since the sign started as a schematic drawing of a mountain), "land" or "underworld". A brief summary can be found in Wayne Horowitz’s Mesopotamian Cosmic Geography (pp. 272-273), more detailed discussion - in Dina Katz’s The Image of the Netherworld in the Sumerian Sources. Needless to say, in the discussed passage it refers to the underworld. Obviously, the myth does not involve Enlil (or anyone else) “rescuing” Ereshkigal. The passage simply refers to the bestowing of her position on her, courtesy of Enlil and Anu. This is a standard motif in Mespotamian mythology - Enlil, sometimes assisted by other big names like Anu or Enki, was supposed to appoint other gods to their positions. 

Gadotti argues that Ereshkigal specifically receives the underworld as dowry (p. 11). The term used is saĝrig which can also more generally refer to a gift (p. 13); ultimately both options appear in discussion about the passage in scholarship (summary on pp. 244-245). ETCSL goes with "gift".

Note that Gadotti’s interpretation would have interesting implications for Ereshkigal’s genealogy - it would appear as if Enlil and Anu provide her with a dowry in absence of her parents. It is worth stressing that her genealogy is indeed a mystery, and Inanna calling her “sister” doesn’t necessarily imply kinship (p. 13; cf. kings who viewed each other as equals calling each other “brother” in official letters); Ereshkigal never appears in association with Inanna’s standard parents (Nanna-Suen and Ningal) so she has a less firm claim to being one of her siblings than Ningublaga or Numushda do. Gadotti expanded this idea in a separate article, Never Truly Hers: Ereškigal's Dowry and the Rulership of the Netherworld, which is worth checking out just because of how entertaining it is:

I got convinced by her arguments, but that’s a topic for another time. The Enki passage is unrelated to the Ereshkigal one beyond also involving the underworld and thus setting up the core plot of the story, and most likely references a hitherto lost myth involving his journey to the underworld (Gadotti, p. 17). Needless to say, there is no evidence this myth, if it existed in the first place, has anything to do with the definitely nonexistent “dragon Kur”.

[softpawpup]

— caregiver!twilight reads kiddo!reader to sleep

words: 495 notes: i write a lot of sleepy fics but it is simply because sleepy time is big regression time for me... and sleepy time is such an intimate time its so nice to think about being taken care of and tucked in

twilight had been busy all day with princess duties. you had been dutifully working on your star charts and studying hard for your classes. your sticker sheet would definitely be full. and when you heard the palace doors open you eagerly galloped down to greet twilight.

she yawned as she stepped in, kicking the door shut behind her. a pile of paperwork and books hovered beside her. her eyes lit up when she saw you and a soft smile crossed her face. “ i have had such a hard day of princess-ing i just want to curl up with a book and my kiddo. i’ll have to work some once you fall asleep but i’m sure i can take an itsy-bitsy break.  “ you giggled and ran circles around her as she skillfully walked to her office, managing to not bump into you at all.

she set her paperwork and books on her desk before returning her attention to you. “ why don’t you go pick out a book to read and come find me when you’re ready. “ she nudged her head against yours and you let out a sweet little coo. “ okie-dokie, mom. “ and so you rushed off to the library to find something to read. a lot of fillies and fouls adored the storybook section twilight had added to the library. but you preferred the big kid books. you carefully looked through the options before finally deciding upon a book about the geography of ponyville. 

you rushed back to twilight’s office where she had started on some of her work. she raised her head as you entered and set down what she was working on. “ be careful running in the halls. i don’t want you to slip and get hurt. what book did you pick out? “ she walked with you from the hall to the reading room, a big circular room filled with cushions and blankets for falling asleep with a book. it was one of the few rooms twilight actually slept in. the other being your room. 

you showed off your choice of book to the princess and she nodded approvingly. “ good choice. the geography of ponyville is a very interesting topic. a lot of ponies spread a myth that celestia and luna carefully crafted the geography themselves after taking over canterlot, but that is untrue. “ you let the facts fill your mind as twilight laid down and you curled up against her side, a pillow placed perfectly under your chin. and so she began to read, her voice carrying through the room wonderfully. it encircled you and you let your eyes drift closed as you absorbed the information. occasionally she would stop and check if you were still awake, and you were. but as she finished the first chapter, you were already far too sleepy to stay awake much longer. she stayed till she was sure you were asleep and then tucked you in and put the book away and returned to her work.

[airandangels]

As I continue with the LOTR audiobooks I’m struck by how different the sense of pace and urgency is from the movies. We know, of course, that a movie is different from a book and can simply and directly show us things that an author may need a few paragraphs to describe, also events in the plot may be brought closer together or be combined or dropped altogether, and dialogue generally needs to be more concise. I think I’m allowing sufficiently for that, but still.

With the abduction of Merry and Pippin, surely every minute counts in terms of the trail growing cold or the orcs reaching their destination, yet still, after caring for Boromir’s body and giving him the best funeral they can under the circumstances* (as they do in the movie, it’s just that it’s elided between scenes while in the book we have the full description, including a touching detail, that they made a pillow for his head from his folded Lothlorien cloak and combed his hair, because it’s such a human**thing that even knowing our friend or relative won’t feel it and doesn’t need it, we need to make sure they would be comfortable and they look nice) after setting his boat loose to go over the falls, because Lord of the Rings is a musical, they’re singing a song they must have improvised just now - not just Boromir’s favourite song if they knew it, or a pre-existing Gondorian folk song that seems fitting, but a new original song about missing Boromir, because not only does it have his name in it, it has pretty specific references to the geography of his journey and so forth.

The only way that makes sense is if you bear in mind that Lord of the Rings is a musical.

Also, I generally don’t harp on differences between the books and movies, but I would like to note that in the book Boromir is still alive, in his last moments, to feel Aragorn hold his hand and kiss his forehead, and I prefer that version.

Oh! Also Andy Serkis did come up with better voices for Elrond and Legolas than the rather irritating wispy fairy ones he did for the earlier elves. They still have a trace of the wispiness and a certain rhythm to their speech that’s distinctively elvish, and I think that was a good way to handle it. I guess Glorfindel and that dude the hobbits met on the way out of the Shire just have stronger accents when they speak the common language? I’ll let it go at that.

I bet he was glad Tolkien wrote that Galadriel had an unusually deep voice for a woman.

* I don’t blame them for the choice they made, they discuss different options but conclude that with no shovels to dig a grave and not enough rocks suitable to make a cairn over his body, the river is their best option. However, I’ve never liked the thought that, after going over the waterfall where the boat would break up at the bottom, what actually became of Boromir’s body was no different from if they’d just thrown him in. He would bloat and float and so forth. Yucky. Therefore I decided today that there was a huge fish (maybe a sturgeon) swimming not far down the Anduin and it ate him up in one go while he was still fresh. I think that’s more dignified.

**Here I’ll use the more expansive Ryoko Kui definition of human because I’m not excluding elves or dwarves (or indeed hobbits) from feeling this way. Also, I warmly recommend the New Zealand TV series The Casketeers.

[garebearandnan]

LITG: The good ole days when girl chats were really good!

Season 2 | Day 1 | Part 3 | Scene 1 | Dressing Room (DR)

Note: Part 3, has over 6 scene changes: DR, lawn, kitchen, fire pit/new bombshell Priya, 3 scene choices next (includes multiple scene options; Lottie's moon celebration with the girls, pranking the boys, or spending time with LI), and the night ends with a really sweet scene with partner on the daybeds. There are a few other mini scenes if you choose to not greet Priya or another sweet scene by the pool when Gary when he talks about missing home if you choose pranking or moon celebration. Day 1 FB was already off to a great start with branching.

Scene 1- Dressing Room

In the dressing room, the girls are getting ready for the first night party. 

Hope: I think it will be really nice to have another girl in the villa.

Hope: More girls, more power, right?

Lottie rolls her eyes. 

Lottie: Oh, please.

Lottie: If the situation was different, sure. But in here? 

Lottie: You know, if a girl comes in now, she'll be the hottest person any of us have ever seen, and she'll be out to get what she wants. 

Lottie: And what if she wants Noah? 

Hope’s face falls.

Hannah: Hearing you say that makes me nervous.

Hannah: I just want everyone to meet their perfect match. But what if her perfect match is the same as mine?

MC (thinking): Should we be worried about another girl coming in? 

CHOICES: a.) I’d like another girl | b.) We need to get use to it | c.) I’m going to freeze her out

a.) MC: I’d like another girl

MC: I don’t think we should be worried. The more the merrier.

MC: She’ll probably be really nice.

b) MC: We need to get use to it

MC: It's all a part of the game. Let’s just make sure we're the best at playing it.

Marisol: I agree.

c) MC: I’m going to freeze her out.

MC: I don’t want another girl to come in here.

MC: If you're coming in now, it’s to only break up one of our couples.

MC: Why would I want to be friends with someone like that?

Lottie: You’re so right.

(end choice)

Hope: It could be a guy, you know.

Hope: Maybe your perfect man is going to walk through the door, Hannah.

Hope: He’ll have glasses, and a cardigan, and a moustache, and…

Hope: What else do you like?

Hannah: Horses!

Hope: And he’s going to ride in on a horse! 

Marisol stood to spray herself with body mist. 

Marisol: I’m imagining him riding shirtless. If that happens, you won’t be the only one falling at his feet. 

Hope: You like a guy that rides horses?

Marisol: I like a guy that’s shirtless.

Lottie: My ex back in Australia was always shirtless. He was so ripped, so I didn’t complain too much, but it was a little weird.

Lottie: One time he came to pick me up for a date and he didn’t have his shirt on.

Grace: What did you say when you first saw him? 

Lottie: Nothing. I just looked at his abs and took him inside. 

Lottie: We never made our reservation.

Hannah: If he was so hot, why did you break up?

Lottie: Oh gosh, he was as thick as a brick. 

Lottie: I didn’t see it at first because I was blinded by the fanny flutters…

Hannah: The what?

Lottie: Um… it’s an Aussie thing, I guess?

Lottie: Anyway, one time we talked about going on holiday and he asked me, ‘What country is France in?’

Lottie: That’s when I knew things were going south.

MC (thinking): Lottie’s ex sounds really stupid…

CHOICES: a) I would have done the same | b) I don’t think that’s fair c) What country is France in?

a) MC: I would have done the same

MC: That’s a special level of stupid.

Lottie: I think that was when I knew we had to break up. 

Lottie: I couldn’t imagine going on a holiday with him complaining every time he couldn’t get Vegemite.

b) MC: I don’t think that’s fair

MC: Why didn’t you try to be understanding? Not everyone is good at geography.

Lottie: I don’t think that’s my responsibility, babe. I’d rather ditch someone than play teacher to them.

Lottie: The roleplay stuff gets really boring, after the first couple of times.

c) MC: What country is France in?

Lottie: Are you serious?

Hope: Watch our Grace. Lottie’s going to break up with you as well!

(end choice)

Lottie: We had to break up twice in the end.

Hannah: What do you mean?

Lottie: He was watching the footie when I said, ‘I think we should take time apart’...

Hannah: I’ve heard that one before.

Lottie: And then two days later he showed up at my house like nothing had happened.

Lottie: Turns out he wasn’t even paying attention to me the first time I broke up with him!

Hannah: What did you do?

Lottie: I had to break up with him again. Louder.

Lottie: Although, I almost thought about taking him back, he was that fit.

Marisol: To be honest… 

Marsol: Sounds like it ended for a good reason, to be honest.

Marisol: I could never take someone back. Could you?

MC (thinking): Have I ever taken an ex back?

CHOICES: a)No, I only give people one chance | b)No, but I wish I could | c)Yeah, I have

a) MC: No, I only give people once chance. 

Lottie: Look at you with that attitude!

Lottie: I do not want to get on the wrong side of you.

b) MC: No, but I wish I could

Marisol: That sounds like a sad story. The one that got away?

MC: Yeah. I always wished we hadn’t broken up at all.

Hope: Well I can’t think of a better way to get over someone then being in here!

c) MC: Yeah, I have.

Hannah: And it still didn't work out?

MC: I’m single and on Love Island, so…

(end choice)

Hannah: I’m worried about what it will be like here. I can’t imagine how hard breaking up will be.

Marisol: You’ll have to see them every day. That’s a lot of difficult emotions to process.

Lottie: And you have to watch them get off with someone else. That would be the hardest thing for me.

MC (thinking): How would I feel about another girl in here kissing my ex?

CHOICES:  a) I’d be raging | b)We broke up for a reason | c)Depends on the situation

a) MC: I’d be raging

MC: I don’t think I could handle seeing any of you kissing someone after I’d kissed him first.

MC: I wish I could say I was more about group happiness, but I know it would feel like a betrayal to me.

Lottie: I get you.

b) MC: We broke up for a reason

MC: I don’t own a guy just because we kissed once.

MC: If one of you would be happier with him than I would, you should go ahead.

Hannah: That’s so wise.

c) MC: Depends on the situation.

MC: If we’ve just been coupled up for a day or something, I guess it’s fine. 

MC: If you steal him after we’ve been together for weeks and been to that hideaway… 

(end choice)

Lottie: I can just feel that it’s going to happen to me.

Lottie: I trust my instincts and I know one of you will end up kissing a guy I like.

Hannah: Do you think that would happen with Rocco?

Lottie: Depends how you all feel about him, I guess. I still don’t know how we’re all feeling.

Marisol: I honestly don’t know myself.

Hope: Don’t worry about it hun. 

Hope: It’s only the first day, after all. No-one’s attached yet.

Hope: Well, apart from me.

Marisol: Yeah, you and Noah seemed to have clicked straight away.

Hannah: What about you, Grace? Where’s your head at?

MC (thinking): How do I feel about my situation right now?

CHOICES: a) I’m really into Gary | b) I want to get to know someone else | c) I haven’t clicked with anyone yet

b) MC: I want to get to know someone else

** Marisol: You don’t think Gary is a good match? (not 100% sure about this response?)

c) MC: I haven’t clicked with anyone yet

** Marisol: You don’t think Gary is a good match? (not 100% sure about this response?)

a) MC: I’m really into Gary.

Marisol: Interesting… 

Marisol: I’ve been trying to keep an eye on all the boys and see if I can feel out what they’re like. 

Marisol: I think Gary’s type is someone who’s pretty chill and laid back. 

Marisol: You might be a bit much for him.

Marisol: Also, I’m pretty sure he wants someone who puts the group first.

Marisol: Does that sound like you?

MC (thinking): Am I that kind of girl?

CHOICES: a) I think so | b) I don’t think so | c)I’m not sure yet

** c) MC: I’m not sure yet ** b) MC: I don’t think so (not 100% sure about this response? don't have screenshot)

Marisol: Maybe you should chat to someone else.

a) MC: I think so.

Marisol: Maybe it will work out for you guys, then.

(end choice)

Marisol: To be fair, we’ve only just met each other. All this could change.

Lottie: It's good to know, though. I'm still not sure what I want.

Lottie: Rocco seems like a cool guy, but I'm not set on him.

Lottie: We've both given each other the look, if you know what I mean…

Lottie: But I have a feeling we're gonna clash if we spend too much time together. 

Lottie: And I noticed he might be looking elsewhere.

MC (thinking): Who is she talking about? 

Marisol: I’m not sure about Ibrahim, either.

Marisol: He’s gorgeous, but what if that means he’s never had to work for it?

Marisol: I don’t want to find out later he’s totally self-centred.

Hannah: I get the feeling there's hidden depths behind those beautiful eyes.

Hannah: It worries me that we might never get to find out more about these boys.

Hannah: If it’s a girl that comes in, we’ll have to fight for our place here.

MC (thinking): Do we need to fight for our place?

CHOICES: a) We’re a team now | b) It’s every girl for herself | c)It’s not a competition

a) MC: We’re a team now.

Lottie: Good on you, Grace.

b) MC: It’s every girl for herself.

Lottie: I don’t want to be like that. 

c) MC: It’s not a competition

Lottie: It’s literally a competition.

(end choice)

Lottie: None of us want to get screwed over by some rando that walks through the door. 

Lottie: Especially since we already know there’s going to be a recoupling.

Hannah: I’m with you on that.

Hope: I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s not make a clique.

Hope: We should be focusing on looking our best instead.

Hope: Let’s go out there looking amazing, and then all the boys will want us.

MC (thinking): Hope is right. I’ve got to get my look right if I’m going to stay in the competition.

*OUTFIT CHANGE

Lottie: You look amazing, Grace!

Lottie: If it's a new girl, she's not gonna have a chance.

Day 1 Fashion Board:

[open-hearth-rpg]

Faction Builder & City Builder Toolkit

I've put up two new print-and-play card deck toolkits on itch.io. Both include a printable deck as well as text files.

FACTION BUILDER TOOLKIT

This lets you collaborative building factions, primarily for classic fantasy games (Godbound, 13th Age, Blades in the Dark) but also for modern urban fantasy games (Urban Shadows, Changeling the Lost, Dresden Files Accelerated).

Factions

Side A of each card has a pair of types– vampires, merchants, assassins. The GM, player, or table as a whole can draw 3-5 cards and pick one. Place the chosen card with the chosen side facing upright. 

Side B of each card has three descriptors- wary, outsider, calculating. Again drawn three to five cards. Then pick one or two descriptors, each on different cards to add to the type. The card’s format allows you to slide the Side B cards under the type card, leaving your choices exposed at the top and/or sides.

You can do this several times to build up a set of new factions for your campaign.

Faction Actions

Side A also includes a tool for determining what factions do in between phases of play. When “time passes” or a game has formal downtime, the GM can draw one (or more and pick one) to show what plots and operations the faction has set in motion.

If you need more details, the GM can randomize if the action targets another faction (1-4) or is aimed internally (5-6). If it affects other factions, roll randomly from your list of factions to see who it targets.

The action list has 30 options, each repeated once in the set. Notes: This material builds on the ideas of factions and their use in play, particularly from 13th Age, Blades in the Dark, Dresden Files Accelerated, Godbound, Green Law of Varkith, Urban Shadows, and World of Darkness.

CITY BUILDER TOOLKIT

This has tools for collaboratively building a fantasy city setting, primarily for classic fantasy games (Godbound, 13th Age, Blades in the Dark). Using this you can create your own fantasy city for games which come with a default location (Swords of the Serpentine, Dishonored). It works in conjunction with other world building tools like Microscope or The Deck of Worlds. 

Side A of the Cards has three blocks:

The first 40 includes

City Environment (Dimensional Crossroads, Glacier, Skyrealm)

City Geography (Arboreal, Labyrinthine, Walled Districts)

Threats & Disasters (Authoritarian Control, Mass Amnesia, Undead)

The next 30 includes

Magic Sources (Dreams, Fossilized Faeries, Paradoxes) 

Technology (Alien, Electropunk, Time of Revolutions)

The last 50 includes a set of details about magic, wizards, and arcane society which you can mix & match. 

Side B of the Cards has the backer, along with 120 different Unique Locations for your city. 

GMs can use this to generate a new city or entirely new setting. Even better, with the printed cards groups can use it to collaboratively build the world they want to play in.

For both the text is shared as Creative Commons Share-Alike Attribution 4.0. The material here is not AI generated and permission is explicitly not given for generative AI use. 

Both are also available on DTRPG-- and will eventually be available in a printed version on DrivethruCards.

[kaontic]

*Takin’ a stab at this cuz about time I did—*

🦁 Emperor of Destruction, King of Beasts and Guardian Spirit of Paradise 🦁

Or, um, in other words, here’s Megs’ holoform as a shishi:

See? I’m not biased for Megatron over Optimus. I didn’t even color him in all the way. 😅

(Which is totally not because I’m scared of messing up the outlining. That’s potentially demoralizing fr…Maybe I’ll try anyway later idk)

Cliffjumper: >:(

Me: Um...you guys are probably wondering about some stuff— 👀💧 *Clears throat*

*In the tone of Barbs from Geography Now*

What is a “shishi”? 👋

What are the flowers he is holding?

Well, as the poem one Kabuki dance abides to puts it:

As the peony is the king of a hundred flowers, so is the lion the chief of a hundred beasts.

Hence the association.

Reflector: You better put a source for that.

Me: I KNOW— 😭

Renjishi (Two Lions) is the name of that Kabuki dance. There’s another dance (and other versions of that dance), but we’ll get to that if you’re interested of course. ;)

Btw, the dancer above, Yukimasa Futamura of Miyabiya? He’s awesome.

He wasn’t even the one that convinced me (that was Onoe Kikugorō VI), he just reaffirmed it because WOW DO THEY LOOK SIMILAR— O_O

Someone (I really wish I remembered their post 😭) noted how Megatron has one of the most human-like face plates out of everyone (and ironically so)—

Idc what anyone says, they were on-target (yes that pun was intentional).

Oh wait, he’s not “human” after all, is he? Riiiiight… 🦁

(You know he would try to make that excuse lol)

Ok ok ok, last question—

Is a shishi good or evil?

I mean, their purpose, whether in China (as these specific Kabuki dances are based off of Chinese legend. Renjishi even takes place on a holy mountain in China, with the shishi guarding the bridge to Buddhist paradise), Japan or other countries, are to protect important (usually religious) locations and ward off evil spirits.

Yeah, in the other major dance Kagami Jishi (Mirror Lion), a servant girl named Yayoi, working in the shogun’s palace is influenced and gets possessed by a shishi via a lion mask, and dragged off-stage due to the shishi chasing 2 butterfly spirits, but ya know…

Cats will be cats. :)

The same actor that plays Yayoi will even return as the (male) shishi to dance with the butterfly spirits.

What happens to Yayoi in the end though? Um—

She’s fine. Probably. Maybe (just me speculating, this has nothing to do with the actual performances) she gets to spend the rest of eternity as the lion’s hostess. 👀

Are there more to the dances? Oh yeah, always. It's Kabuki, an intricate and detailed art form requiring huge skill that everyone should check out.

I didn't even mention the son character in Renjishi and his significance.

Furthermore, are there other Kabuki characters (especially villainous) that would fit Megs? Yep.

There was literally this one noble, Togashi Saemon from the dance-drama Kanjinchō, who was so impressed by how far his enemy’s follower was willing to go for his master (through deceptive means), that he just straight up let them go.

Even at the cost of his own life because that’s how much trouble he was gonna get in for that. 😬

Megs notoriously enabling his traitorous subordinates’ behavior even if it’s self-sabotaging? Same energy.

There was also the provocative (and quite frankly pathetic) governor Kō no Moronō from the drama Kanadehon Chūshingura, who the 46 rōnin came for on their quest to avenge their master, and proceeded to [REDACTED] his head.

Yeah, given our options, so far, he better be thankful that his holoform is a shishi. 😑

It’s not the only holoform he has (any Cybertronian can have several in my AU), but I think it’s a good start.

[specialagentlokitty]

Mr Evershed x Student!reader - double trouble

Hei! would you like to write a Evershed x Student Reader story where Reader has a twin? Both take turns who goes to school. Twin one is good at math and english and twin two likes science and sports or something like this. Anyway, Mr. Evershed notes that it's not the same person. - Anon💜

You and your twin sat on the sofa, looking over the timetables for the day, and you hummed, nodding your head.

“Well Tyler, today is your day. Math and English for the first two lessons.”

“Ugh that means I have to go early.” They complained.

You snickered and looked at them, beaming a little bit.

“I know, it’s great. I’ll meet you behind the school don’t forget to give me your jumper.”

“Right, right I won’t don’t worry!”

They grabbed their bag and rushed away while you stayed home to watch some TV.

Honestly how no one had noticed that you and Tyler were swapping classes was beyond you, it made absolutely no sense.

But you two loved it.

You sat there for another half hour or so before you made your way to the school to go fill in for their science lesson for the morning.

They never went to IT which was their first lesson for the day and you didn’t want to raise suspicions by going, so you were in no rush to get to the school and you slowly walked to their classroom and sat down.

“Morning Tyler, you’re a little early.” Mr Hyatt smiled.

“Yeah I was just bored.” You shrugged.

He smiled and nodded and asked for help setting everything up for the class, so you decided to help him.

Science went by pretty fast, and as break came around you jogged down the hallways.

Making way outside, you walked around the back of the school and grinned at your twin as you guys swapped bags and they handed you their jumper.

“Science test?”

“Aced it obviously. Math and English?”

“Perfect scores.” Tyler beamed.

You both sat there talking until it was time for your next lessons and you ran down the hallway again.

“Oh Tyler I need to talk to you really quickly.”

You stopped and looked at Mr Evershed.

“Yes sir?” You said.

“You’ve not been going to IT.”

“Don’t like it, kinda boring if you ask me.”

“Right, well it’s not optional and you know it isn’t.”

You looked at your watch and shrugged a little offering him a grin.

“Sorry sir gotta run!”

Mr Evershed watched as you ran away and he furrowed his brows a little bit but went back to his office.

You did your twins PE classes, and you met Tyler for lunch, offering them theirjumper back and you yawned a little.

“I’m tired, I’m gonna head home, we shared the same lessons next so it’s fine.”

“What are our next lessons anyways?” Tyler asked.

“Uh… history and Geography.”

“No fair I want to go home come on.”

You looked at your twin and shrugged a little bit.

“Alright alright, fine.”

Tyler beamed and ran towards the side of the gate so they could leave and you took your blazer off, swapping it for your hoodie and loosened your tie.

The teachers knew you had a sibling, of course they did, but they hadn’t figured out that you were identical twins yet.

You made your way to your next classes and thankfully the school day had finished and you made your way to the front of the school.

As you went to leave Mr Evershed walked in front of you and pointed at you.

“You missed your art lesson today.”

“Eh not a big art kinda person.”

Mr Evershed looked at you and looked around.

“So, where’s Tyler?” He asked.

“They said they was going home without me.”

He hummed a little taking a small breath.

“I’ve never seen the two of you in the same room.”

“We don’t have any of the same classes.” You lied.

He crossed his arms over his chest, and he rose a brow at you.

“Except you do, history and geography, and I only saw one of you.”

You laughed a little.

“You’re seeing things sir we were both there, bye!”

You ran away and the next day, you both received an email asking you to go to the office first thing in the morning.

You shared a look and grinned at one another.

“Oh he knows…” Tyler whispered.

“He definitely knows..” you nodded.

You grabbed your blazer and pulled it on, stuffing your hoodie into you pocket, and Tyler did their hair the same way you did yours.

You both made your way to the school, and you stood in front of reception looking for someone.

“Right you two, my office.”

Mr Evershed was looked at some papers so he hasn’t noticed yet, and you and Tyler ran past him into the room snickering to one another.

He walked in and closed the door, walking to his desk he set the papers down.

“Right, you two have been missing lessons, and I need to know why.”

He looked up and just seemed to freeze as he looked at the pair of you.

His gaze flicked from you to Tyler then back to you and back to Tyler.

He stood up, crossing his arms over his chest.

“So, who’s who?” He asked.

“I’m Tyler.” You said.

“I’m (Y/N).”

Mr Evershed narrowed his eyes a little.

“Are you both seriously lying to me right now?”

He pointed at you.

“(Y/N).”

Then to Tyler.

“Tyler.”

He then crossed his arms again.

“I’m not an idiot you two, you may be identical but I can still tell the difference.”

“No you can’t.” Tyler huffed.

“Tyler you have a scar on your eyebrow, I can see it.”

“Damnit…”

“Oi.”

You both snickered again and looked at Mr Evershed.

He gestured for you both to sit down which you did, and he sat down at his desk, clasping his hands together on the desk.

“You grades are awfully similar, and your handwriting in certain lessons.”

“Well we are twins.” You said.

He narrowed his eyes a little and then pointed to you.

“It was you I talked to in the hallway!”

You laughed loudly, not even attempting to deny the fact that it was actually you.

“Oh I get it, you two have been swapping lessons.”

“Maybe.” You both replied.

“Bloody hell..” he whispered.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, not even sure how he was going to confront this situation.

He reached into his desk draw, and looked around, pulling out two name badges he scribbled your names on them and handed them over.

“Stop swapping lessons.”

“Yes sir.” You both grinned.

You took the name badges.

“And you’re both going to retake those tests that you took for one another after school. Now go on, you’ve got lesson.”

You both stood up and he watched you two brush against one another.

“No swapping name badges!” He called.

He heard you both complain and swap them back and he shook his head, leaning back in his chair.

Identical twins.

How did no one pick up on this before now? He had no idea, but he realised he was really going to have his work cut out for him now.

One of you was bad enough, but two? That was chaos waiting to happen

[liber-what-ia]

*realia are culture-specific words that don't have an exact/direct translation in other languages. A wide majority are related to food, geography, and festivities, but they cover all aspects of life (eg. vodka, pizza, tundra, Panzer, katana, hanami etc.) Maybe it's common knowledge for everyone, but it is not where I live, so I thought I'd make a note (and it's way more complicated than what I wrote but I'm consciously oversimplifying).

So, I'm a translator, therefore this poll is very useful to me since I often have to decide between domestication and foreignization. It's always a tough choice and neither is wrong or right, but at least I can see if there's a general preference.

That being said, I'm thinking about translating into English a story set in my country, which I originally wrote in Italian. And of course there will be some words/expression that would sound weird in translation, but as a native speaker they come off as weird in Italian as well, when they're in an English text (also, it's my own writing and I'm not working on someone else's, and this makes it even harder). So I'm struggling with finding a good solution.

Please reblog for visibility and add your language(s) in the tags if you'd like to!

(The poll only refers to English because that's the language I'd like to translate the story into, but of course I'm asking everyone and not just native-speakers.)

[originalleftist]

Something to remember about anti-Israel protests is that they are, quite frankly, an exercise in futility.

I'm not talking here about any protests against the actions of the Israeli government, but protests specifically supporting the destruction of Israel, or targeting the Jewish people.

They will never achieve their maximalist goals of totally destroying Israel, much less the dreams some Islamists have of some kind of global caliphate, or that some of their Western supporters have of some sort of worldwide violent anarchist/socialist revolution.

Leave aside what you think SHOULD happen (and if you think the above goals should happen, don't you dare claim to be "pro-peace" or "anti-genocide"), but just look at what IS.

Israel has nukes. Like every other nation that has nukes, those nukes exist as a deterrence against an attack that would destroy the nation state, a threat of final retaliation. Mutually Assured Destruction.

As long as Israel has those nukes, the most the maximalists could ever achieve is for Iran to get nuclear weapons and use them on Israel, and then get nuked by Israel in return (and no, you can't take all a country's nukes out reliably in a first strike, this is literally why nuclear submarines exist), or for a coalition of anti-Israel states to attack Israel conventionally, win (which depends on the US not intervening), and then get nuked by Israel. Probably shortly followed by the rest of the world, once the taboo on nuclear first use is broken in a post-Cold War World.

Now, I don't doubt that many so-called "pro-Palestine" activists around the world would be happy to trade every life in the Levant or the larger Middle East, including all of the Palestinians, if it meant wiping out the Jews "Zionists". But that's because their real motive is Anti-semitism (and general hated of the "Western establishment"), not being pro-Palestine. I am admittedly just some random white guy from the West myself, so I can't speak for anyone actually living there or part of those communities, but it seems to me that if you were "pro-Palestine", you'd want Palestine to be free and alive, not a burned out wasteland.

And if that's what you want, then I don't see how you get there except by working with reformers in Israel to get a peaceful solution that is acceptable to both peoples, however impossible that may currently seem.

Also note that the above does not mean that Israel can do whatever it wants with impunity. Nukes are great as a deterrent (albeit with a risk of eventual escalation or accidental launch), but they are shit for making other countries do what you want, because the best use for them is to make sure they never get used. Israel is a small nation, in terms of geography, resources, and people. Even in wealth its really only middle of the road (Wikipedia lists Israel as having only the 28th largest GDP, right between Austria and the United Arab Emirates). It cannot defeat every neighbouring country by force, it cannot defeat Iran by force, except by nuking it (see above for why nuclear first use is a terrible idea for everyone), and it's frankly struggling just to beat Hamas in Gaza. Israel has a nuclear deterrent against its own destruction, but it relies on the support of other nations, primarily the US, to avoid ever reaching the point where it has no options left but to use those nukes.

Again, this is not a question of what would be the case in an ideal world, but of what currently is, and is likely to be the case for at least the near future.

And if your politics aren't based in reality, what's the fucking point?

[rideboomindia]

Why are the companies who raise millions in funding asking for business from RideBoom

Companies that have raised significant funding may seek business from RideBoom for several reasons:

Access to a Large Customer Base: RideBoom, as a popular ride-hailing service, likely has a large and established customer base. Companies seeking business from RideBoom may see an opportunity to tap into this existing user network and gain access to a broader audience for their products or services. By partnering with RideBoom, they can potentially reach more customers and increase their market reach.

Synergistic Offerings: The companies approaching RideBoom may have complementary products or services that can enhance the overall ride-hailing experience. For example, food delivery companies might seek to partner with RideBoom to offer in-car food delivery options to passengers during their rides. Such partnerships can create added convenience for customers and generate new revenue streams for both parties involved.

Strategic Alliances: Collaborating with RideBoom can lead to strategic alliances that benefit both parties. For instance, a technology company may seek to integrate its innovative solutions, such as advanced mapping or navigation systems, with RideBoom's platform. These collaborations can improve the overall service quality, enhance user experience, and drive mutual growth.

Market Expansion: Companies that have raised significant funding often have growth ambitions and seek opportunities to expand into new markets or geographies. By partnering with RideBoom, they can leverage its operational infrastructure, local expertise, and market presence to expedite their expansion plans. This can be particularly valuable for companies looking to enter regions where RideBoom already has a strong foothold.

Competitive Advantage: In a competitive market landscape, companies may seek to differentiate themselves by offering unique features or bundled services. By partnering with RideBoom, they can leverage its brand recognition and user base to gain a competitive edge over rivals. This collaboration can help companies stand out in the market and attract more customers.

It's important to note that the specific reasons for companies seeking business from RideBoom can vary based on their industry, business objectives, and market conditions. Additionally, partnerships and collaborations are mutually beneficial arrangements, as both parties aim to gain value and achieve their respective goals.

[doonarose]

Esurient Designs

Rating: Explicit, nsfw, no minors

Summary: It’s been over forty-eight hours since Aziraphale pointed out that Crowley never initiates kisses between them. And since then, Aziraphale has been waiting for Crowley to come to him. Forty-eight hours and it’s the longest they’ve gone without kissing since they started. Crowley’s ready to do it, he’s going to do it, he’s about to do it, when Aziraphale decides what they should actually do, is lunch.

A long, meandering lunch, with champagne and delicacies that immediately have Crowley thinking about a whole lot more than kissing. But then that’s usually when happens when Aziraphale eats in front of him.

Chapter 1/8, Part 7/9 of Osculations. All of which can be found on AO3

Notes: Special thanks to anything_thats_rock_and_roll for their beta-ing and especially for noting down that my early attempt trying to squeeze all this into a few sentences, and then paragraphs, really wasn’t working. Getting a multi-chapter smut/food adventure onto the page is not straightforward and I have appreciated their cheerleading! Also, thanks to thewaythroughthewoods for brit-picking the geography to ensure it all seemed plausible. It’s worth noting, that the restaurant and locale are very much based on real places!

Read on AO3 or under the cut.

Next time you want to kiss me, just kiss me.

That’s what Aziraphale had said to him, a permission that fell out of the sky like rain in a desert without clouds. Then: 

Please just kiss me the way you want to kiss me.

And Crowley had, and it had been a glorious and freeing surrender. And then he’d fallen asleep for ten long hours, which he still thinks was rather awkward of him, moreso because Aziraphale had just sat there and let him. 

He still didn’t quite comprehend it but the wanting that had been prickling his skin for millennia had now pooled low in his belly, welcome and allowed. Aziraphale wanted to kiss him, and more than that, Aziraphale had said: much more.  And although Crowley doesn’t know how much more and, in fact, he’s very aware that there will be limits on Aziraphale’s allowances, he still knows that next time he kisses Aziraphale, it should probably be – will probably be – spectacular. 

Except now it’s been two days since that hot, hungry kiss, and the long, blissful nap, and Crowley thinks, perhaps, Aziraphale is growing frustrated with him. At this point it is certainly the longest they’ve gone without kissing since they started, several weeks ago, and that is entirely Crowley’s fault, he knows that. Aziraphale is waiting for him and the two times Crowley worked up the nerve to start to move towards him, it just hadn’t happened. 

Today though. Aziraphale is sitting, reading in the winged armchair, it’s pulled right back from the desk and he looks content and comfortable. Crowley can cross the room and cradle his face and kiss him. There’ll be no escape, no chance he’ll turn away at the last moment, the bookshop door is locked, Crowley’s made sure of it, the room is comfortably warm and softly lit, and he’s getting much better at stopping his mouth from suddenly going dry when he starts to countdown the move to go to Aziraphale. 

Aziraphale who said he wants this. 

“Care to accompany me to lunch?” Crowley starts from where he’s been leaning against a column and staring at Aziraphale like he is lunch.  

Aziraphale snaps his hardcover book shut and leaves it on the chair, already half way into his overcoat before Crowley can push properly away from the pillar and consider his options. 

“Not very hungry,” he lies. 

“I’d like the company,” Aziraphale counters, and who is Crowley to say no to that. 

***

Crowley drives and Aziraphale navigates. Once it had been established that they weren’t headed to the Ritz and that Aziraphale didn’t remember the name or the address of this new, talk-of-the-town haute cuisine establishment – just, inexplicably, how to get there – Crowley was very much left to drive where he was told. 

It’s across town, and speeding and miracling can only do so much in central London at half past noon on a Thursday. It takes almost twenty minutes to get there and Crowley is all too happy to invent a parking space immediately in front of the large Edwardian building when they finally pull up. 

The restaurant is on a stretch of the High Street in Bethnal Green that hosts the typical assortment of shops, notwithstanding the restaurant itself, which, Crowley has to admit, seems to exist in an out-of-place somewhat-imposing three-story white sandstone façade. The building is replete with columns and arches, statues of lions and cherubs, and above the entryway a sculpture of one of the Roman goddesses. ‘Yokaze’ is emblazoned across the front door in golden metallic letters, and beneath them, etched Japanese characters say the same. Directly across the road, there’s an off license, a chinese, and a pizza place, all with heavy security roller doors currently open, a fair smack of graffiti, and loitering teenagers.  

Aziraphale beckons him in, holding the door open, “After you.” He sounds excited and Crowley immediately softens, begrudgingly aware he would drive a lot further to make Aziraphale happy. 

Inside they’re greeted by an understated, modern dining room, carpets of deep emerald green, cream walls, and crisp white table clothes. There are lush Monstera growing in the corners and over the fireplace, and an impressive collection of paintings of birds that Crowley suspects are quite pricey originals from the 19th century. It’s busy, for a Thursday, but mostly with couples and clandestine corporate types. Quiet but for the murmurs of soft conversations and the clinking of glasses and cutlery. The host has them on the list – either because Aziraphale actually booked or because he meant to – and soon they’re seated opposite each other at a small rectangular table situated off to the side near a painting of a Heron. 

A waiter appears, standing up too straight and rattling through their options with a lilting Scottish accent, but Crowley’s not really paying attention. Happily, Aziraphale orders for both of them and it’s only after the waiter is gone that Crowley’s ears catch up with him. 

Tasting menu and a bottle of champagne. A long lunch, then.

“Celebrating, angel?” Crowley teases. Champagne with lunch isn��t uncommon, but going straight to a bottle betrays the usual dance of ordering just a glass.  

“What’s not to celebrate?” Aziraphale beams. “You’ll join me, won’t you?”

Crowley nods and watches Aziraphale from behind the sunglasses he’s afforded because they’re out in public. Aziraphale, who can barely sit still, and is looking left and right, drinking in the ambience and the décor like a schoolboy at a petting zoo. 

The champagne is popped and poured, and thick, embossed cards explaining the tasting menu plates are set down beside each of them. They lean forward to clink their glasses together. 

“What are we toasting?” Crowley asks, always eager to be given a hint of what’s going through Aziraphale’s head. 

“Us, of course.” 

“To us.” Both of them try and fail to keep themselves from smiling as they touch glasses again and gulp down the tickling, brightly tart alcohol. 

Aziraphale really is quite something; all gorgeous light and exuberance, and Crowley feels his heart swell in the increasingly familiar way that he thinks means he just fell a little bit more in love. 

Aziraphale seems oblivious, pouring over the tasting notes, making little sounds of excitement and surprise, little catches of mumbles under his breath that Crowley would ordinarily roll his eyes at. 

Crowley can’t wait to get him home and kiss him senseless. 

The first course arrives. 

Amuse-bouche: Fresh oysters, shucked at the table and served with tabasco, lemon foam, and Australian finger lime pearls.

Awaken the palate with the ocean’s aphrodisiac. A mouthful of salty-sweet tender flesh, richly layered with flavors of minerals, zest, and spice. 

As it’s prepared in front of them, Crowley bothers to actually cast his eyes over the first few lines of his tasting notes, and then back over the stylistic black-inked words again. Suddenly, he recognizes the goddess sculpted above the restaurant doorway and accepts the irony with a soft scowl that goes unnoticed by Aziraphale. 

The shells are cracked open at the table by a new waiter – perhaps this makes him a chef – wearing a chainmail oyster glove, a starched white shirt and jacket, and no other discernible features, because Crowley is staring hard at Aziraphale. 

Aziraphale is playing up his delight at the spectacle, Crowley likes to imagine. 

They are each plated three oysters, the opened shells placed carefully on a bed of coarse salt crystals in the center of a small white plate, which is settled on the bigger white plates already in front of them. The original waiter returns momentarily to deliver a platter of little white porcelain jugs filled with their choice of dressings between them. “Bon appetit,” he says, then disappears.  

Aziraphale hums, pleased, and says joyously, “Oh, I do love fresh oysters!” and leans forward to take a long sniff through his nose of the briny aroma. 

He picks a shell up delicately, cradling it with his little finger stuck out, as he selects the tiniest, outermost fork of his place setting – oh god, there are so many forks lined up – and dislodges the meaty delicacy. He doesn’t bother with any of the dressings, just raises the shell to his lips, opens his mouth, tilts, and slurps it down. 

It’s fucking pornographic . Crowley has seen some of the very best, and some of the very worst, porn ever made – quite a few of them involving food – and nothing holds a candle to what’s playing out before his very eyes. Crowley crosses his legs beneath the table without even thinking, his body responding involuntarily as he immediately starts to grow hard. He watches the hollowing of Aziraphale’s cheeks and he can imagine Aziraphale’s tongue working within his mouth, pressing the oyster up against his hard palate, before his teeth catch at it, chewing down once, twice, and then he swallows. Crowley sees the bob of Aziraphale’s Adam’s apple, tracking the morsel as it descends into his belly. A little moan escapes Aziraphale as his lips smack, he licks them, and his eyes, previously closed in rapture, snap open and hone right in on Crowley. 

“They’re sublime,” he all but squeals, and grabs his second, a couple of salt crystals falling with a clink onto the base plate. For the second oyster, Aziraphale scoops a spoon of the finger lime pearls over, like caviar but full of citrus and acidity, and then into his mouth and down his throat again. 

He must be doing this on purpose. 

Crowley entertains that thought for a moment. That this isn’t innocent, sweet Aziraphale reveling in the simple human pleasure of freshly shucked oysters. That instead this is seductive, that it’s sexy, that it’s actually exactly what Crowley is experiencing and it’s on purpose . 

It’s a ludicrous thought that opens a floodgate that Crowley ordinarily keeps extremely locked when in the same room as Aziraphale. 

It’s Aziraphale on his knees, disheveled, half undressed, already kissed raw and wanton, sucking red marks with his lips and teeth up the inside of Crowley’s naked thigh before Aziraphale grabs Crowley’s cock at the base and feeds it between his lips. Licking and sucking and moaning around it as his eyelids flutter beautifully closed and then open, torn between reveling in the weight and taste against his tongue, and keeping his gaze locked on Crowley’s in a ravenous, devoted stare, his lips stretched and his breath hitching. The wet, hot, slick heat of his mouth and the caress of his tongue on the underside, the suction of it all around, as he shuffles forward on his knees, hands gripping Crowley’s arse, so he can take all of Crowley’s cock right to the back of his throat, choking, still moaning, and still wanting more. 

Aziraphale sounds playful, enamored, happy, “Not hungry?”

Crowley squeezes his eyes shut, just for a second, and clenches his thighs. 

Returning the favor, Aziraphale spread-eagled and whining on soft, black satin sheets, hands and heels pressed down into the bed, grasping for purchase. Crowley between his legs, sucking on his balls and stroking him slowly to stiffness before he closes his mouth around him, working his tongue and sucking, bobbing, begging, until Aziraphale bucks off the bed, screams his name, and pulses hot, salty, sticky into his throat and across his tongue and lips. Crowley would swallow him down, working him all the way through it, and sucking for the last little taste until Aziraphale pushed him away with a gasp. 

Aziraphale has an eyebrow arched and his third oyster poised halfway to his lips. 

“Still never had the desire to eat an oyster,” Crowley drawls and he recognizes his voice at an octave above what it should be, his words clipped and short. 

Aziraphale’s face falls, just for a moment showing his disappointment, and then he seems to shrug it off and slurp down the last of his oysters, lemon foam caught about his lips, dribbling down his chin before he licks it off and then dabs at his lips with his napkin. He hums his enjoyment again.

Crowley would coat every inch of himself in lemon foam if it meant Aziraphale sucking him down and humming his pleasure like that.  

“Delicious,” Aziraphale confides, casting a sorrowful glance at Crowley’s untouched plate. “What’s next?”