#gender weirdness

[theenbyroiderer]

Guh. Putting my agenderness into words (that other people will understand) is so difficult. I've been having a discussion about the transgender umbrella and it strayed into why I personally often feel disconnected from the greater trans community. A person was trying to narrow down commonalities for the trans umbrella and was like "one thing we all have in common is a misalignment between our body and mind". And yeah, the general definition of agender is a lack of gender identity. And a body by nature has some gendered bits to it. So I understand the thought.

I don't feel like it fits for me though. To me it's more that I don't care about this thing called gender. Other than occasionally because *aesthetics* lol. I'm just a person inhabiting a body. And neither my gender or the characteristics of my body matter. My assigned gender is neither right or wrong. I don't think of myself as a woman, but neither do I think of myself as anything else. I'm just me and my body is also me, and there is no mismatch.

At this point I'm feeling like agender might not even be the best label for the way I feel about gender... but I don't have anything that fits better at this point. I'm not cis, I know that much. Though I did think for the longest time that 'lack of discomfort with my assigned gender = cis'. Cis people tend to feel gender dysphoria and euphoria too though... and I experience neither.

Tl,dr: gender is weird, vague and unknowable.

[nerdyquestier]

I always get so fucking confused when I don’t get dysphoric over getting gendered by accident

*Currently trying to figure shit out because I don’t particularly want to dress or look more feminine rn but that she/her use felt way less wrong than it usually does*

[redpensandplaywriting]

It's Pride month in Aotearoa New Zealand at the moment, so in honour of that I'd like to present the essay that made me realise I was nonbinary!

I wrote it as an assignment for a university class, and the process of putting my experiences into words gave me a bit of a "hang on a minute..." moment. I didn't go so far as to put my new discoveries into the essay itself, because a university paper isn't really the way I wanted to come out for the first time, buuut you can probably see where things were heading.

Does anyone else have similar experiences with finding out about their queerness in a school assignment?

[soleminisanction]

For some reason, when they give you the pamphlet on the changes to expect from and potential side effects of taking testosterone, they don't think to mention the weird shit it does to your nails.

[spiral-wizard]

me and the gf were watching yu yu hakusho and got all the way thru the dark tournament arc. then we were like PHEW that was intense. we need a break.

so we started watching revolutionary girl utena?????????????

[party-gilmore]

Interesting things I've noticed about (my own, obvs) gender fluidity:

Girl Mode is bi as hell. Guy Mode is always exclusively gay. I just think that's interesting. And doesn't contribute to my bi imposter syndrome at all.

Being Sleepy (not tired - the vibe of "sleepy" specifically) instantly triggers Girl Mode. Not ever once have I been a Sleepy Man, only a Sleepy Girl.

"Woman" feels weird but "Girl" feels fine, while "Man" feels fine but "Boy" feels weird??? Aunt good Uncle bad, thoughts kf Wife/Mother good Husband/Dad bad, but Brother good Sister bad??? Nephew good Niece bad??? My Boyfriend good My Girlfriend bad??? Son and Daughter both neutral??? Why???

Being Horny triggers Guy Mode. Feeling Slutty triggers Girl Mode. It's a very fine distinction, but it is there. It is strange when both hit at the same time it feels like cross the ghostbuster streams.

I'm androgynous enough that I can shift to a decent, base level of either femme or masc kind easy, but it's also frustrating because i can never be AS femme/masc as I want to be. I would almost rather be All The Way one way and have to work harder the other direction, instead of having to work hard in both.

I don't like the term non-binary for me. I am VERY binary. 93% of the time it is explicitly one or the other. The remaining 7% is the rare times both hit at once, except there's no blurring it's not like mixing blue and red into purple its more like that dress that looks both blue and white at the same time.

However using trans feels weird because sometimes I'm not. Trans feels like you have changed from one to the other but sometimes it's a change back to my agab so it's not really a change at all? That one post like "trans means anyone who doesn't 100% align with their agab" helped me get a little more comfortable with it and I'm comfy displaying like my little trans flag bead lizard but something about the WORD just doesn't sit right

This is why I love Queer. Queer queerey queer queer queer. It's the only word I've got that gets the point across but doesn't leave me feeling like i need to Explain Myself like "well okay so sometimes I'm bi but sometimes I'm gay but not in a cis way except when it is so no matter what i feel like a faker"

I got distract these arent fun facts at all their mostly anxiety spiral sad facts let me get back on the point

Long Hair actually makes me feel more masc, while Short Hair makes me feel more femme. Unless a mustache has become involved.

Absolutely fascinating that i can look at my body, my exact same naked body, and as a man feel confident and sexy but as a woman feel bloated and unattractive. Like. Can we get a femme equivalent of the Dadbod please? Or maybe relax our standards a little bit? I'm dying here

It's so much easier to talk about this shit with absolute strangers in the void than people i know, even when i know some of those people are also here in the same void reading these. It's just still easier than saying the words. Weird.

[robthegoodfellow]

Chapters: 10/? Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Eddie Munson, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Chrissy Cunningham/Eddie Munson Summary:

After high school, Eddie works at the Hideout. And then moves into the ratty apartment above the bar. And then Billy moves in with him. And then they start hooking up. And then they scheme to set each other up with the person they think the other really wants.

[useless-gay-kid4]

whenever i watch drag race it always amuses me how boyish i feel cos like. its drag race. there’s just about nothing masculine about the concept at all, that’s the point. but i feel like such a guy watching it. what does that even mean

whats even stranger is that i’m a boydyke and yet i feel damn near twinkish but at the same time very much wanting to kiss girls. do you see what i mean.

[niavv]

any other autistics out there dealing with the gender feelings of 'i wish i was a girl' while being a cis girl

idk if it's bc i don't 'perform' femininity right but it's something i still deal with at my big age of 27

[chloesimaginationthings]

Into the pit Jeff and Mike finally sleep together in FNAF..

[orriculum]

"all men are evil" is radfem/terf rhetoric, but clarifying "all cis men" because you want to signal that you're not transphobic doesn't work because it's still deeply rooted in radfem beliefs. It's saying you believe there's something inherently evil in being born/assigned "male", and you carry it over in how you treat ppl who transition in or out of that gender. "All cis men are evil", is gender essentialist and you can't get around that.

Fucking tired of ppl who think their terf soundbites with a fresh coat of paint are sooo progressive

[queerism1969]

[visenyaism]

no you're being terfy for trying to shame women who DO want to be feminine and cutesy, we're still women even if we're not your perception of women

Explain to me how it is transphobic to say that you should not joke about how you are bad at math because you are a girl because that is misogynistic. Actually, explain to me why it’s cutesy to say that girls are bad at math. How is it feminine to say that girls are bad at math. How is that particular message factoring into your gender presentation. What is feminine or cutesy about thinking women are worse at any implied skill than men like either the skill level or the gender are immutable absolutes. What is going on

[inkskinned]

okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.

like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).

but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.

im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.

[catastrothy]

stupid idea i was thinking about

[heyitsspaceace]

don't let their seemingly straight-passing tension fool you, they are still very gay and dysfunctional