#gay single

[kingdarkblue]

I’m never changing who I AM

💜💙💚💛🧡♥️

[drakeshadow]

[nilesabbott]

Hey there to whoever remembers me 😅 I wasn't really active the last year and longer and I apologize for that. There was A LOT going on in my life. I had a boyfriend, lost my job because of psychological problems (I might do a post about that one day), got COVID and had gall stones. The last ended up with me in hospital to remove my gallbladder (plus a small tumor like thing). Shortly before the surgery my boyfriend broke up, which is ok, because the relationship wasn't working out anyway, but the timing wasn't great. Oh, and I am finally divorced from my ex wife.

Now I am finally much better, as strange as it sounds. The breakup and surgery was something like a strongly needed hard reset for me. Plus I finally found a therapy place.

At the moment I spend my time doing my projects and caring for myself. I feel good and healthy. I lost over 20 kilogrammes and continue to lose even more weight. My mental health got MUCH better since the surgery. It's long time ago, that I felt that much as myself.

There is only one annoying thing: Being single 😅 I will probably let a rant out in the next days, about how much gay dating is ... unpleasant 😅

And I added some very recent pics of myself, because I can and feel confident in my look again 😊

[stealingpotatoes]

this is the way

(commission info // kofi support!)

[hypertechnica]

did it mean anything to you?

[napping-sapphic]

Fun pride month activities to do this june☺️❤️🌹✨🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️:

hold hands with ME

kiss ME

get ice cream with ME

cuddle with ME

fall in love with ME

get married to ME

grow old and happy and be in love forever with ME

[bloodraven55]

Oh the voice acting and just... everything was so soft here good lord 🥹

[sunderwight]

SV scenario where Shen Jiu is also Shen Yuan's Meimei.

Trans egg SJ never got to examine her gender identity very much in her first life. What with all the enslavement, abuse (given as well as received), misunderstandings, betrayals, dismemberment, and death, there was far too much for her to ever come to terms with a set of concepts she'd never really had the luxury to entertain. By the time Shen Jiu was a peak lord, the Shen Qingqiu persona was locked in, and any dreams of a different life or inclinations to the contrary of her role were ruthlessly quashed by SJ herself.

But when SJ finally dies and her soul is free to reincarnate (taking a few more memories than usual along for the ride), she has mixed feelings about being born as the youngest daughter of a wealthy family.

The mixed feelings don't actually last long, though after a while she starts to wonder why the fates would grant her a reprieve? Maybe remembering her past life is her punishment, because it's certainly the worst part of her new situation. Her parents are indulgent, her older brothers all dote on her and spoil her, and when she tests limits she's only gently rebuked if she gets rebuked at all. Not only is she allowed to wear fine dresses and look pretty, she's expected to (actually the expectation does chafe, a bit). But even when she uses foul language, skips classes, reads controversial books, and commits myriad other tiny rebellions, no real retribution ever comes of it.

Even despite everything, after some years Shen Jiu starts to become... not complacent, but perhaps calmer would be a better description. She has a stable future handed to her on a silver platter. Very few things remind her of her past, either. She can read books about snotty highborn lords getting railed by werewolves as readily as classics of literature or academic papers on science, business, culture, politics, or whatever else takes her fancy. Her family doesn't even put demands on her to marry, despite some of her mother's hints in that direction. For the first time, Shen Jiu has a life where it seems like she can't fail, she can only succeed however much she wants to. It's like having nowhere to go but up, except without the part about hitting rock bottom.

A foolish set of assumptions, in the end. There's always something to lose.

When Shen Yuan suddenly dies, Shen Jiu recognizes the sinister hand of the same entity which oversaw her own reincarnation. One which had visited her dreams quite recently, trying to tempt her back to her first life with offers of being able to change the past. It wasn't even difficult to deny it. Shen Jiu doesn't believe she could change what happened, and she doesn't really want to try. Her one regret is what happened to that person, the one who died so horribly while rushing to her rescue, and even that, she doesn't know how she would change (because she still doesn't know why he bothered in the first place).

But how dare the System God take the silliest and softest of her brothers to try and fix her accursed first life?! Luo Binghe will eat him alive! Cang Qiong will mistake him for a demon or a madman or worse, and throw him into some cell somewhere, if they don't just kill him outright!

Shen Meimei tries to negotiate with the System, but it tells her the window of opportunity for her to go back instead has passed. Smarmy piece of shit. There's nothing she can do without supernatural help, however, except bide her time and wait for another "window of opportunity". It's in the midst of this that she discovers PIDW, and its (terrible) account not only of the broad strokes of her first life and death, but of what came afterwards. That little beast really wrecked the world, huh? And all those women, too. She's never been more grateful to have not figured herself out in her first life. But at least with access to this information, she can try and prepare more. (She's suspicious of who actually wrote this account as well -- is Luo Binghe himself in this world? Better to leave it now, in that case, before he inevitably makes another bid for power and destroys everything in his wake all over again!)

When the System finally gives her an opportunity to go back (as herself, or rather "Bonus Epilogue Side Character -- Shen Qingqiu's Mysterious Little Sister!") she is braced for any number of outcomes. Shen Yuan could be dead. He could be imprisoned. He could have had his limbs all cut off. He could be stuffed into a pickle jar. He could be hiding or on the run somewhere. Hopefully, he'll be hiding behind that person, confused and distraught but still intact thanks to the sect leader's guilt-driven sense of obligation. Most likely if the same number of years have passed since Shen Yuan "left", he's already been destroyed by Luo Binghe and all Shen Jiu will be able to do is avenge him. But she has some ideas of how to kill the beast, so, she will.

Of course, what she finds is nothing she expected, and almost even worse.

Luo Binghe married her brother?!

Death is too good for him! Shen Jiu's going to skin him alive!!!

[wolfie7888]

Who is gay single and free Now From Elland??

[drakeshadow]

sup? up for asks, messages and submissions of anything you want ;)

[nilesabbott]

It's now some time ago, since I posted here. I mean, nobody seems to read my stuff anyways, so it seems to don't matter 😅

Anyway I want to give a update on myself and things around me.

My weight loss journey continued. Meanwhile I lost over 55 kilos since last year and even build muscle. I even developed a slight hint of abs 😂

I cut my beard completely down to a goatee. I felt, that I was hiding behind the full beard. You know, it became kinda a mask for me. A shield to hide behind. Now I lowered at least that shield and discovered, that a young and kinda handsome face was hiding behind it.

And I start to let my hair grow out on the sides too. My goal is a haircut like Health Ledger, Brandon Lee or Ville Valo had. It definitely will look great on me.

Unfortunately my face and new body wasn't helping to find a new partner. That is the most frustrating part, you know? Most other gays are just looking for fun, a non-monogamous relationship and such. Especially that guys in my near. Plus mostly guys over 50 try to hit me up, while I just look for guys between 21 and 35 and have that written in my profile also.

To be honest: Being alone makes me kinda sad and feeling like I don't deserve to be happy.

It's a "problem" that I am not into bears and older guys. But bears always remind me of my dad and I don't feel attracted to my dad romantically or worse 😅 And similar with older dudes, especially since I don't feel like my age.

Honestly: I feel like in my mid 20th, especially since I wasted my 20th on my ex wife. I just NOW have my glow up and try to put my life together. At the same time, it feels like time is running out to find a partner. You know, I do not want to become that old guy creeping up to younger folks like these guys who write to me now.

To be honest: At the end, I kinda gave up already. If every Jack has his Jill, then I am Zachary 😂

Besides of that: I quit my therapy. Not because I think I am above that and don't need it. No no, I definitely need therapy. I quit it, because my therapist was an arsehole. She not wanted to help me getting along with my trauma. Instead, she wanted to help the insurance company saving money on me. I tried to tell her about shit that destroyed me, her reaction was "But that shouldn't stop you to go to work. How many job applications did you wrote? Where did you applied to?" and such. Totally ignoring stuff which is bothering me and acting like she isn't my therapist but a worker from the job department of government. That really made me feel like "Ok, if even my therapist don't care about me, why should anyone else?". The final moment, which made me quit was, when I told her about my strong fear looking at the political situation in Germany, with growing percentage of Nazis and shit. I told her I fear more violence and such. Her reaction "No, Nazis won't harm any queer people. It's only the foreigners who harm queer folks, I read a statistics about it.". Like ... WHAT?! I have friends who got attacked by Nazis, pride events received hate and you only have to look online to see the hate from the Nazis towards the queer community. Idk where she read the statistics, maybe on the AfD homepage. Or she is one of them too, Idk.

So all in all it wasn't a help at all and only fed my trust issues even further. Now I can't even trust therapists, which makes it kinda impossible for me to seek help.

But something positive: I quit drinking about a year ago. Not 100%. But it's now only one bottle of beer in a few weeks, which is really nothing. And my January was, in fact, completely alcohol free. That stuff helps me to get my body in a better shape and will help my mental health too.

And I kinda "rediscovered" some music. I listen again a lot to HIM and VV (Ville Valo). I was a giant fan in the 1990th/2000th and kinda stopped following a few years ago. Even though I had a hughe crush on Ville and still have. He is the only older guy I would like to be with 😅 But it isn't just about him (pun not intended 😂), it's the whole music and lyrics. Love can hurt, but at the same time, it can be something absolutely beautiful too. And at all: Self growth is important.

So ... what else? Idk 😅 I try to be somehow positive, find a job again and to make my own luck.

By the way: In the pics you see how I look now 😂

[loverboybrightsideghost]

when nimona first shapeshifted in front of gloreth, gloreth was a little freaked out, but more just shocked, and then they went on being friends. it was only once gloreth’s parents told her that nimona is a horrible monster that she finally turned on her. this movie isn’t subtle in the least with its themes, but i like this part of the movie because it really shows just how imaginary and baseless (for lack of a better way to phrase this) the fear of monsters (i.e. trans people) in society is. children, like gloreth, when left alone without any societal influences, will be faced with this Other, Different thing and accept it, just go with it. befriend them.

[kugisakiss]

as promised, the spy x fam parody AU

I had some fun thinking about this like 2 years ago and only made a couple of sketches at the time.. but then I started cleaning them up last month and before I knew it, it spiraled out of control to become this monstrosity. I can't help it, as you can all tell by now, I love coming up with scenarios to get all my little guys interacting with each other

some details i didn't put in:

the Kudou parents are absent like in the show

whatever is happening on Haibara's end is probably super messed up but I haven't thought of any of the details

Akai gets fancy tech stuff, like the voice changer, from Agasa. Agasa comes to help babysit Conan sometimes and he gives him all his little gadgets. Akai hasn't said anything about it but figures he could use it considering the amount of crime he comes across

the facility shinichi was in is like in the original story, it exists to research esp to create super soldiers which is why he knows everything he knows

Conan regularly eavesdrops on Akai and Rei's top secret phone calls which is how he learns their real names. He can't help it, he has really good hearing

Conan and Subaru have different last names because Conan thinks "Okiya" is lame and wants to keep the one he made up on the spot. Their story is that when Subaru and Conan's mother (Edogawa Fumiyo) married, they both kept their own last names and Conan was given Edogawa when he was born. They've kept it this way to "remember Conan's dead mother"

[mikonez]

I'm still alive and bring you jarthur!!

[tubbytarchia]

shut up I'm on my drawing kisses arc

[rendevok]

40 :3

40~ an impulsive kiss

My handwriting is messy, but i intended it as 3 speech bubbles:

Phoenix says (1)“Come here” while interrupting Edgeworth as he says (2)“W-”, and after he turns away, Phoenix says “They’re gone now”.

Hope you enjoy the not-so-healthy 7yg narumitsus!! Thanks :D