#anyways we live in a society whatever whatever
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when nimona first shapeshifted in front of gloreth, gloreth was a little freaked out, but more just shocked, and then they went on being friends. it was only once glorethâs parents told her that nimona is a horrible monster that she finally turned on her. this movie isnât subtle in the least with its themes, but i like this part of the movie because it really shows just how imaginary and baseless (for lack of a better way to phrase this) the fear of monsters (i.e. trans people) in society is. children, like gloreth, when left alone without any societal influences, will be faced with this Other, Different thing and accept it, just go with it. befriend them.
#bluebird.txt#nimona#itâs like all those stories you hear where people are like âi told my niece im gay and she asked why im still singleâ or something like tha#kids donât care! kids left to their own devices really donât care!#anyways we live in a society whatever whatever#i love this movie#this is brought to you by me living in Stupid Bigoted People Land and iâm tired of it
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just realized that the teasing for whateverâs next for r/wby wouldâve led up to something big at rtx if rt didnât shut down
#every day we live in a society#doing this the day before the 4th of july is crazy but i respect it. nothing to really celebrate in the US these days#anyways my bet is that whateverâs next will be known around mid-july or so at the latest#but iâve been wrong before#weâll see i guess
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i have such a morbid fascination with those weird reddit dudes who rate their attraction to a woman by working out the ratios and proportions of her features. i want to know if it has ever occurred to them that this is not how other people experience attraction
#ik theyre awful misogynists but a part of me really feels bad for them#thereâs definitely a chunk of them who do it bc they resent beautiful women#and kinda self-soothe by âproving with numbersâ that these women arent ACTUALLY attractive and they dont want them anyway#but i always wonder how many of them truly just dont feel attraction when looking at women#so they use the numbers as some sort of proxy#bc We Live In A Society that kinda tells boys that if ur not pursuing and getting women then ur not a real man or whatever#im not saying theyre right but i can follow the lines of thought of that second genre of guy#where ur pushed the idea of Getting With A Woman so much but you dont actually want to get with a woman#so you end up with resentment towards women#idk.#anyway this all mostly applies to the very young ones#i have little time for grown adults who use society as an excuse to continue making society suck
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Biggest Miles Kane fans (in order):
Alex Turner
Miles Kane himself (rightfully so)
You & me Tumblr friend. (And his mum)
Generally people with taste đ
#that's it; that's the order#LOOK AT HIM VIBING TO HIS OWN TUNES AS HE SHOULD#I strive to be at least a quarter as confident in myself as this man is#he's doing it so well too. I just love it for him. It's honest and pure and just beautiful#the way we all used to be our own number one fans when we were very small kids#fighting with other kids over which one of us was 'the best' 'the coolest' or whatever it was#we all loved ourselves at one point. It's natural. it's self preservation. it's a great instinct#then society kills that and we need to fight for any remaining bits of it to be able to lead happy lives#well anyway#the way Miles Kane is proud of himself reminds me of that#it's not cocky or arrogant. It's not a persona or act. It's done the pure amazing way we all used to do it. And should strive to still do#Miles Kane seems to be very in touch with his inner child and it makes me very happy đ#(go stream his music!)#//#my posts#Miles Kane#Miles fucking Kane đ
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ai rant in tags bc im so fucking tired
#came across an instagram account which used ai for animations#and this guy claimed to be an artist and i read a few of his replies to people calling him out for ai art and it made me SO ANGRY#like he said that him to his animations was less like an actor and more like a movie director like FUCK YOU MEAN#like no you didn't make that. other people made that. movie directors don't fucking plagiarise.#GRRR SO MUCH ANGER#the people talking to him were making VALID LOGICAL POINTS and he was just fobbing them off w like 'nice' replies asking for 'understanding#like FUCK OFF your heart emoji means NOTHING#worst of all i think most ai users like this know and understand what people are saying but they just ignore it bc ignoring it favours them#and the amount of people in the comments who were just like 'oh this is cool' PLS IT'S CLEARLY BLOODY FUCKING AI FUCK OFF#the worst thing about ai is that not only is it plagiarism but it's SO BAD FOR THE PLANET#idk the details but i know that it consumes so much water to function (to cool it down)#not to mention each search u do on ai takes up SO MUCH ENERGY like our planet is already fucked and with each use of ai it gets MORE FUCKED#and because our society wants things NOW and is obsessed with EFFICIENCY no once fucking cares#like we're ruining our planet using a thing we survived without perfectly fine??#like ok fine it's convenient in the short run BUT WHATEVER THAT DOESNT MATTER#ITS NOT CONVENIENT FOR OUR PLANET AT ALL#idk if we noticed but like?? WE LIVE HERE????#anyways i dmed this guy very politely asking if he'd taken into consideration the impacts of ai on the environment#i do not expect any sort of helpful response but i couldnt just sit there while this idiocy continued#obviously i cant fight every ai user in the world but i can sure as hell TRY#what is our society's obsession with new technology like we've blinded ourselves to how we're basically killing ourselves with it#like ok some people believe in ai conspiracy theories etc and obviously it's plagiarism but like?#even if you dont believe in either of those two points above it is still SO BAD for our planet#which also happens to be THE ONLY PLACE WE CAN SURVIVE IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE#and bla bla bla elon musk will takes us to mars NO HE FUCKING WONT.#anyways if he could he'd obviously find a way to do it and milk everyone of their money#and then he'd leave 'commoners' like us to die on earth#not that i even think he'll be able to get people living on mars in his lifetime or mine anyways#space boo screams into the void#ai
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trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.
vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever đ
#sorry bros im about to ventpost in these mf tags đ#im so fucking tired man. im already suicidal to begin with but the Everything happening is making it Worse. Yippe Yahoo Hooray.#therapy in a week though so ive got that at least.#this is the worst time of year for shit to go south.but Uh Oh saying that makes me feel like a selfish fuckass because other people -#- have it worse. like. god fucking damn. i get Extra suicidal around september -> march range sure. but other people are literally suffering#like as we fucking speak. and ive done fuckall to help cause i dont know HOW to help. but thats not a fucking excuse#im just being comfortable in my lazy ass depression spiral cause im a selfish fucking prick. âi cant spare the energy to vett thingsâ#other people are fucking dying and im over here like ânoo im too tiwed :( i cant do anyfing so im not gona do anyfing cuz im wazy and tiwedâ#what the fuck is wrong with me lmao. knowing me im not gona change shit anyway despite fucking complaining about it cause im just. fucking#Like That.#idk. i was reblogging some of those âhold in there dont kill yourselvesâ posts cause like. yk. suicide bad or fucking whatever. but someone#on this site said something along the lines of âok but how many people reblogging/posting these told jews to kill themselvesâ and like.#i dont know. i dont fucking know dude. so i guess im not reblogging Those anymore.#theres bigger issues out there and here i am focusing on some queer people who might kill themselves. idk. i should just join them yk#cause i never fucking focus on the bigger shit cause âi dont know howâ and âi dont want to make things worse so i just wont do anythingâ so#im not doing fuckall other than just being part of the fucking problem here.#i should probably just delete social media for a while and see from there.#or just fucking drink about it thats the other option. its worked for me before (lie) so i may as well do it again am i right#im sorry i never like. boost gofundmes or fundraisers and shit i just.#i dont have a fucking excuse. im just a lazy fucking bastard in my own stupid fucking comfort circle.#âoh no seeing that people are dying makes me uncomforyable :(â ok well people are fucking dying you self absorbed douchebag. why cant you#get off your stupid fucking ass and do something. get a job so you can fucking help people or *something#its not like you have to pay rent and shit.#<- all about myself. cause yk. self centered douchbag. hooray.#i dont pay rent and i dont have to pay for my own food. i still live with my parents. im fucking useless to society so i may as well get a#job and send the money i dont fucking need to somrone who DOES need it. but here i am.#in.my stupid fucking bed til noon cause âthe world is scary and jobs are hard :(â#its fucking retail. retail isnt as fucking hard as like. construction and shit but here i am anyway âunableâ to do shit.#i fucking could if i just fucking ballsed up and put up with shit. but no. here i fucking am going ânooo i should just kill myself insteadâ#vent post
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you know until relatively recently i thought i'm at least like.. noticeably above average appearance-wise, i took it basically as a given since i was a little kid. but then i realized i'm actually ugly as fuck and nobody would ever pay any attention to me or find me good-looking or hot or whatever and i will be alone forever and die alone. so.
#iso.txt#vent post#obviously not posting a picture of myself so this is a pointless post. but it's better this way#i like the fact that lots of people here pay attention to me and it's because i'm smart and funny and say interesting things#every few days i realize this and start crying about it like some kind of idiot. i should get plastic surgery to fix all this but idek what#i told two of my friends about this and they gave me some nonsense about society and so on so thats basically confirmation lmfao#like if someone who is conventionally attractive asked you that you would Not fucking say that.#also some bs about how maybe nobody ever expressed any interest in me bc they don't think they'd have a chance. riiiiight lmfao#ik it's so superficial but i hate all of my features so much me being born was a mistake#i know that the fact that BASICALLY NOBODY EVER TRIES TO TALK TO ME is an indicator of that anyway#it just actually hurts like. i hope it's just bc where i live i'm not good at the language but maybe that's just cope#i just don't get it. i'm always better dressed than the majority of people in my classes. in my opinion.#like being presentable and shit matters doesn't it#maybe it's just that i sit in the front row and nobody there talks to anyone bc we actually want to take notes#i do have 'friends' but i don't get it. i don't get it how do you just 'meet people' who would ever pay attention to me.#the number of times i talked to someone who i wasn't introduced to by someone else is TINY#it's so unfair bc i'm like smart and funny and so on#sometimes if i squint im like well *i* think i'm kind of good looking. but LITERALLY NOBODY ELSE does#people only say that when they're trying to be nice.#now i'm thinking this type of post is going to make ppl think i post like a girl again and it's making me more upset but whatever idc idc#at best i'm 'cute.' people call me that a lot. i'm cute like a little kid is cute. i'd never be anything else to them.#i know it 'doesn't actually matter' but maybe it matters TO ME#basically any time i look in the mirror im reminded of all the reasons i ever wanted to kms
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i had to email my supervisor today to ask what the best/most appropriate response is for when kids are confused about my gender bc its happened 3 times within a week đđ twice today actually, i think wearing a mask makes it worse
#i have âboy hairâ which is literally all it takes for kids who are young enough#its not like it bothers me but i represent like an actual organization now and cant just say whatever shit i want necessarily#anyway. we live in a society
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hatee how certain neurodivergent people will talk about apathy like it's a neurotypical thing and the societal ideal. like it's not 1. demonized 2. awful to experience
#especially when people act like ppl who are apathetic think they're so cool for it#like i dont think my life is worth living most of the time because of it but okay. sure#joyousposting#negative //#this is kind of an aside but im reminded of how unhelpful it is whenever i see people combat capitalist ideas of#your worth being defined by your ability to contribute to society and produce things#with saying you have worth because you exist to experience and be passionate!! because i barely do that. whats left#anyway. what im saying all sounds so doomerist and suicidal im not. well#i think if i found out that this'd be the way i'd have to live forever (uncapable of truly feeling or experiencing anything)#i would kill myself. however there's no way of knowing that. so nothing left then but to believe one day#life wont be like this and ill actually be able to do and feel and experience things and actually live#absolutely no god damn clue how we're gonna get from here to there though#bc there's no way for it to happen without a miracle or me trying really hard to do things really difficult for me. and maintain that. and#have people actually meeting me halfway on it. so there's no way for it to happen without a miracle.#and yet we trudge on because im hopeful and optimistic to a fault#this thang was not meant to be that long or serious of a post but whatever. i cant and havent sleep
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Remembering the brief period in my life when i was obsessed with ashido, the only filler character with rights bc kubo originally planned to include him in the manga but had to cut him for time
#bleachposting#maybe its time to think about him again since i think about arrancar and hueco mundo so much#maybe its time to make him interact with the rest of them super begrudgingly#hey soul society we found one of your guys living in our basement. yeah he couldnt figure out how to leave. yeah for like 100 years.#do you want him back or.#listen i think hed be kind of upset to see how many parallels he has with the arrancar#wrt being stuck in survival mode for so long and trying to figure out how to be a person again#like can you see it. can you smell what im saying.#and also more frustrations he tries to ignore regarding his zanpakuto still not telling him its name#and it wont until he kind of. accepts some things about himself.#also maybe he should have cool fights with them and gain a mutual respect. listen. im right.#i remember wanting to make an rp blog for him#and it did exist briefly but i was so nervous about it#i dont think i ever advertised it on my other blogs. does it still exist?? did tumblr ever nuke it?? i cant remember the name#anyway during my brief obsession with him i projected on him super hard and made him trans. why? because. i could.#will i keep him that way? probably. just in a different way.#he hasnt had to deal with normie societal expectations in a long ass time. gender is whatever to him. thog dont caare.#he may have been holding onto the duties of a shinigami as a last straining tether to his sanity but like. that shit is going to snap.#its just a matter of when. and only THEN will he be able to move forward i think. instead of just being stuck the way he is.#like yeah he is literally stuck since shinigami cant make gargantas. but he is also metaphorically stuck. see it writes itself.#APPARENTLY HES IN ONE OF THE LIGHT NOVELS AND TRAINS A BABY CIEN?? THATS SO CUTE WTF
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You know I gotta be blunt, it's not immigrants or trans people or any of those groups that are the problem with this country
To me there's really one major problem group... people who thumpa thumpa with their fucking car stereo and give me a headache by vibrating me inside my own private fucking home, infringing on my right to some fucking peace and quiet
Do something about them, they tangibly make my life worse, and rankly they're acting like a selfish asshole when they do that (whoever they are outside the car, that's what they're acting like in it)
Not even joking, immigrants ain't done shit to me and probably have made my life better in a whole lot of ways that I don't directly get to see
Trans people don't do me no fucking harm, had one live with me for free here for over a year and worst she did was annoy me by being a redditor
Meanwhile I'm trying to sleep after dealing with insomnia all night, but fucking subwoofer hanging out... fuck, I don't know, at the intersection on a dirt road? I don't know what they seem to just fucking sit there, are they chilling in front of the post office? I don't get it
Anyway, point is that's the person who is concretely causing me harm right now
How bout we crack down on the real menaces to society first before we even start dreaming about going after the people just fuckin existing?
#I'm not even kidding; I'm straight up saying that they're infringing on my rights to... you know; keep my home in the state I see fit#(ie quiet; like it's an intrusion into my property that I own; it's audio trespass)#and we need to actually do something about that cause I think my rights here#are frankly more fundamental than their freedoms to thumpa#especially when it's everyone in a radius around them dealing with it for one car worth of freedoms#like my freedom to walk around naked ends at my front door when it'll start intruding on other people's right not to see that#and it's the same thing here... freedoms end where they start infringing on others ability to exist#it's still fucking thumping as I write this by the way#anyway; we need to fucking do something about these people#there ought to be laws and they ought to be enforced#and frankly as much as I don't like it; only way I see it is to put some kind of decibel limiter on subwoofers#love a better solution; but full stop the fact is that this has never been ok and a decent society would have stopped it when it started#neighbor down the way that sometimes puts on dad rock a bit to loud through their /normal/ speakers? don't give a fuck#neighbors when they use power tools? don't like it but they've got purpose; they'll only be at it for so long; leave em alone#but thumping; and especially stationary subwoofer thumping; it's an asshole move and it's physically painful to me to hear#it's like how headaches are the one kind of pain I can't ignore#vibrations in my head are one of the few things I can't ignore#I'm not even joking when I say if we transferred all ice funding to an overly loud subwoofer enforcement patrol I'd be fucking thrilled#maybe this sounds not in my backyardish but... I literally don't give a shit about anything anyone else does in town#...except maybe using a wood burning stove cause the smell makes me paranoid; but again; I can fuck off with that#there's stuff I don't like; like when people are working on their cars and have to keep revving the motor to test; but it's whatever#this though... it's the one thing that really makes it hard to just chill in the house that I bought and own outright#so it is like my one and only thing I say needs to get fucked and their freedoms end where it starts making my life worse#I want to live in a world where anyone can have any sound system they want; and they're just not an asshole with it#but we literally don't exist in that world#it's like the shopping cart thing of you show what an asshole you are when you leave them out (and it's not a one off)#except even that doesn't fucking hit me in my own damn house when I want to sleep#those bright ass headlights and loud subwoofers... and those fucking tail pipes that make the car extra loud#(the exact opposite of the job of a muffler; you are disrespecting the muffler's hard work with this)#those 3 things are the marks of an intolerable asshole; and none should be tolerated
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i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh
#NOT COMPLAINING ABT THE MOD just personal preference im not saying the mod bc i dont want it seen as an attack but basically i like mods#that add a bit more realism while also keeping some stuff yfm... like 4 example Random example unrelated i like the idea of Having to decid#what to do with the remains of a dead sim and having the body stick around but i also like having the grim reaper appear.... so in my ideal#death mod the sim dies and then the grim reaper shows up to like. take their soul but the body stays. im not a modder so idk how possible..#also ig that kind of doesnt fully make sense since the ghosts r still afoot so ig itd just be him severing the connection btwn the body and#soul right. not taking anything... which i suppose is what he does in the basegame is he severs the connection and then takes the body w/#him. which is kind of funny. whats he need that for is it just courtesy or is he doing smtg w/ them. bc ik you get the gravestone/urn when#they die and those r the remains but like. ? he just like. conjures those doesnt he. body vanishes and then those appear. does he just#rearrange the atoms of the body into those things. bc i dont subscribe to the idea that he actually digs a hole for the corpse idt theres#anything down there bc u cn put a basement right under a grave and no issues. so i think he magics the bodies away and then either somehow#transforms those bodies into the appropriate grave marker (unclear on if theres even actually ash in the urn like is that mentioned. OR he#takes them leaves the urn and gravestone and then just has the bodies to do whatever with. WHATS HE DOING !!! is it a nice like Ill just#handle this so they dont have to (presumptuous. caring for a body is a rly important thing in many cultures and it can be a great way to#process a loss for some ppl (not all obviously. grief is very personal this is one of my autism things sry)) but ig in simnation society it#isnt that important Evidently. but idk... either hes taking them as a favor to help out/soften the blow bc obv nobody Likes seeing the grim#reaper olive sit down. connor sit down. so hes like well ill handle this. or is it something more nefarious WHTS HE DOINGG tell me. i think#funny to imagine he just teleports the body elsewhere ik he prolly just destroys it but its kind of awesome to imagine theres a giant magic#crematorium and like. a columbarium. idk why i assume cremation itd just save space in his. realm? i he has a realm. if i were him and i#didnt have a realm id be kinda pissed id call the watcher and be like heyyy um... yk. but ya i think thats cool bc i love lands of the dead#gotta be one of my favorite things (autistic) and i think its just cool to imagine a place where the remains of every person whos ever live#r kept. be that their soul as is traditional or their literal remains in this case. isnt that kind of cool.. love it. but again we probably#arent supposed to rly think abt it he prolly jut vaporizes them into nothing. i just wanted to have fun... bring a positive sort of vibe.#anyways. i would like to be able to have The body just bc i think thats cool and i think itd be awesome to have a mod that adds in more#grieving practices from around the world but obviously thatd be like. HUGEscale bc there are a millionnn different ways to grieve. and its#all so interesting to learn abt. read from here to eternity. by caitlin doughty. smiles <- it doesnt cover Everything obv but it talks abt#lot of stuff from around the world in a rly respectful way and its incredible to read abt and learn. my autism . but i genuinely love#learning abt grief and mourning and funerary practices in other cultures i rly wish that so many practices werent lost to colonization wher#ppl were forced to abandon their way of caring for their dead just bc it seemed ghoulish or barbaric or whathave you to the missionaries et#idk. id put death it up there with food as one of the biggest cultural signifiers...i cant continue the tag limit. wtvr. u get it
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#fave#videos#hey yknow that part of you that wants to talk about how hot whatever celebrity is?#sometimes shut it the fuck up. other people dont need to know and the celebrity sure as fuck doesnt#anyways no this shouldnt be expected with fame and the idea that it should tells me we live in a very sick society.#like. ill. unwell society.#celebrity worship is cringe
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I keep thinking about all of the disabled activists and people before me who stranded themselves on the 4th floor of buildings for weeks and crawled up stairs and fought with airline staff and schools and doctors and refused to stop existing in the face of injustice and bigotry no matter how big and scary and hopeless it seemed. Every time I get angry and scared the protests that lead to the creation of the ADA pop up again and remind me that disabled people are so much fucking stronger than anyone has ever given us credit for, and I can't help but be proud of that. And I know not all disabled people feel like we should take pride in our disabilities and have flags or whatever, but I think not just living, but thriving, in spite of a world that wants us dead and gone, in the face of both illness and persecution, and how we've not only bought ourselves forward, but uplifted the disabled people around us, secured more equal futures for everyone who will come after, and truly changed the way so many abled people have seen us for the better is something to be damn fucking proud of.
We have always been here and we always will be, there will never be a world without disabled people because being disabled is not bad, it's a natural part of the human experience and yeah it sucks some times but even when it sucks we have fought to build beautiful, unique, happy lives with people, both like us and not, and that should be celebrated.
The first sign of human civilization is the healed femur. The body of the profoundly disabled person who would have needed help to even just eat being carefully laid to rest after decades of a full, happy life. The medicinal plants showing even before we were entirely human we were doing what we could to not just survive, but alleviate suffering while we're at it. Above everything, evolution selected not the baby who can walk and eat and be quiet, but the one that can ask for help.
Disabled people are not just angry cockroach motherfuckers who refuse to die, we are proof of humanity's HUMANITY. Proof that natural selection selected a species that takes care of each other. From healed femurs and medicinal plants to vaccines and IVs and insulin to now, we are driven to help one another, we are at our strongest when we don't leave our most vulnerable behind. And I am living proof of that. My mother is living proof of that. Every disabled and chronically and/or mentally ill person I know is living proof of that.
And I don't know about the rest of you, but will carry that shred of humanity's true nature inside me like it's my fucking soul. I am scared and angry and hurt, but I have a lifetime's experience being scared and angry, and I can shake off the kind of pain that would make Atlas crumble to dust like it's nothing but a stiff fucking breeze. Disabled people have always been here, turning fear and anger and pain into joy and beauty and connection, and I'm not going to let everyone who came before me down. I'm not going to give up. Not now, not ever.
It's okay if you're disabled and you've hit your limit, you're too scared and tired and hurt, I won't blame you. But I won't abandon you, either. I might not be able to right all of the wrongs in the world, but I'll be strong, I'll carry all of you with me, I will not give up.
As I've said before, society hates a cripple who won't die, so we must spite them and live anyway.
Please, live anyway. I know if anyone can, it's us.
#there that's my thesis about all this hope it helps#abled people can reblog this btw#pls support the disabled people in your lives they need you#us politics#us election#just for the blacklist#current events#cripple punk#cpunk#disabled#disability justice#disabled liberation
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youâre how i pray.
summary: reluctantly, you found yourself reaching out to the church for guidance, to better your âwrongs.â only to meet father charlie and realize there was a whole world of sins youâve yet to indulge in. [REQUESTED.]
pairings: charlie mayhew x fem!reader
warnings: conversations about religion and moral, blasphemy (?), charlie is a manipulative freak!. SMUT: this is DIRTYYYY, fingering (fem), oral (fem), unprotected sex, manhandling, dirty talk.
WC: 3.6K (sorry, i got into it)
my masterlist! Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â requests are OPEN!
Your steps echoed against the cold stone floors of the church. The towering figure of your aunt walked ahead, moving with self-righteous purpose. You rolled your eyes, biting the inside of your cheek to stifle the irritation that boiled beneath your skin.
Of course, therapy had been a good start. You had actually been making progress, learning to manage your anger, to quiet the voice inside you that urged you to rebel against every rule, every boundary. But your family⌠they believed therapy wasnât enough. They had another solution.
Father Charlie. You had heard of him. A young priest, charismatic and well-liked by the community.
Your aunt wasted no time, walking straight up to the office where Father Charlie stood. His presence was larger than life, draped in his priestly robes, and yet his eyesâthose piercing brown eyesâheld a spark that didnât quite match the image of a humble servant of God.
âFather Charlie, thank you for meeting with us,â your aunt began, already launching into a tirade about you. Words like rebellious, problematic, and sinful spilled out as though they had been rehearsed. You stood there, arms crossed, glaring at the rows of candles flickering on the altar.
Father Charlie nodded sympathetically but his gaze never left you. He didnât interrupt your auntâs sermon, though, and once the woman was satisfied that she had delivered enough holy condemnation, she patted you on the shoulder.
âFather Charlie will talk to you, sweetie. Heâll help you.â
With that, your aunt left, leaving behind a cloud of forced piety. The silence settled in as Father Charlie waited until the doors shut behind her.
âGuessing by your expression, Iâm sure this wasnât your first option, coming to me.â he said, his voice unexpectedly soft.
You shrugged, leaning back against one of the wooden furnitures of his office. âYeah. My family has unfortunately convinced themselves that Iâm a lost cause, and that only God can save me. Or so.â
Father Charlie smiled, and something about it made you feel more cautious than comforted. âWhy do you think people see you that way?â
The question took you by surprise. Not the usual condescending lecture, not yet, anyway. âBecause I donât see the point in all these rules theyâre obsessed with. I do whatever I want, and that annoys people. Weâre born into this world, and instead of living the lives we want, weâre told what to do from the moment we can speak. Doesnât that sound a little⌠cruel to you?â
âRules are there to keep the community together. Without them, society would fall apart.â
You narrowed your eyes. âMaybe. But whatâs the point if those rules only help some people? The rich keep getting richer, while the rest of us⌠weâre always at the bottom. And thatâs okay as long as we obey, right?â
âSo, you think life is about doing whatever you want? No restrictions at all?â
âNot exactly,â you said. âI just think people should be free to make their own choices. To live without constant guilt and fear hanging over them. This whole idea that weâre supposed to follow blindly or be damned⌠it doesnât sit right with me.â
The priest studied you for a moment, and you could feel the intensity of his gaze. âDo you believe in God?â
Your lips pressed together in a thin line. âI donât know. Maybe thereâs something out there, something bigger than us. But the people in this community? The hypocrisy. The way they use their faith to control others. Itâs toxic.â
Father Charlie nodded slowly. âYouâre not the first to feel that way. But youâre not as alone as you think, either.â
âWhat do you mean?â
His smile was back, but this time, it held something else. Something darker. âLetâs just say⌠not everyone in this church follows the rules as strictly as you might think.â
A shiver crept down your spine, but you couldnât tell if it was fear or something else. His words, his toneâthey didnât match the image of the holy man you had been expecting. You sat down on the couch, to keep some distance.
âLetâs talk more,â he said, his voice dropping an octave. âIâm curious about your thoughts on freedom. On life⌠on sin.â
Your pulse quickened as he took a seat next to you, far too close for comfort, but you didnât move. There was something magnetic about him. Dangerous, but magnetic.
âYou know,â Charlie began, his fingers lightly tracing the soft edge of the couch beneath both, âa lot of people in your position feel trapped by expectations. You said it yourself: you donât like the way rules seem to be designed to keep some people down.â
You nodded slowly, unsure where this was leading, but already feeling a shift in the atmosphere.
He tilted his head, his gaze holding yours, and there was a glimmer of amusementâsomething almost wickedâin his eyes. âYouâre not wrong to want freedom. To want more. But what you have to understand is that most people⌠theyâre too afraid to admit it.â
âToo afraid?â
âYes. They bury their desires under obedience, hoping it will make them feel whole. But deep down, they crave⌠more. They want to push against those boundaries.â He leaned in closer, his tone growing silkier. âDonât you?â
âI donât know,â you said, though you did know. It just didnât feel safe to admit itânot to yourself, and definitely not to him. âI mean, I get frustrated, but⌠itâs not like Iâm going to rebel against everything.â
âWhat if you did? What if, just for a moment, you allowed yourself to explore that side of you? The one that questions. The one that craves freedom⌠and maybe, other things?â Charlieâs eyes sparkled with something that felt far more dangerous than faith.
Other things. The way he said it, as if it were an invitation, hung heavily between both. You could feel the tension building, the heat.
âI thinkâŚâ you started, your voice shaky, âI think people would lose their minds if I did something like that.â
His lips curled into a slow, knowing grin. âMaybe thatâs exactly what they need.â
He let the words sink in before continuing, his voice dipping into something darker, more seductive. âYou donât need to live your life based on what others expect of you. Thereâs power in choosing for yourself.â
This conversation wasnât going the way youâd imagined. You had expected judgment, correctionâbut instead, he was⌠encouraging you.
âWhat do you want?â he asked, his voice almost a whisper now.
You looked away, feeling a flush creep up your neck. âI donât know.â
âYouâre lying,â Charlie said softly, his voice dipping even lower. âI think you know exactly what you want. You just havenât allowed yourself to feel it fully.â
Your heart pounded against your ribs, and you couldnât ignore the way his words wrapped around you like a dark temptation. There was a part of you that did want somethingâsomething wild, something free, something dangerous. But this? Here? With him?
âItâs okay to admit it,â Charlie said, leaning closer, his lips dangerously close to your ear now. âSometimes⌠surrendering to what you really desire is more powerful than fighting it.â
Your breath caught, and for a second, you leaned into him, drawn by the magnetism of his words. It was intoxicatingâthe way he seemed to know exactly what to say. But you pulled back, confusion warring with the strange attraction that was blooming inside you.
âYouâre a priest,â you said, as though reminding himâand yourselfâwould somehow break the spell.
Charlie chuckled, the sound low and smooth. âI am. But that doesnât mean I donât understand temptation. Sin is⌠fascinating, isnât it? Especially the kind that makes you question everything you thought you knew about yourself.â
There was something so wrong about this conversation, and yet, you couldnât deny the pull. The way he was making you feelâseen, understood, even desiredâwas something you hadnât expected to find in this place.
He held your gaze, his confidence palpable. âYou crave connection. An escape from the chains of expectation. You want to live life on your terms, even if that means stepping outside the lines drawn by those who think they know better. I admire that.â
âYou really donât know what youâre getting into,â you said, trying to regain some control.
âPerhaps,â he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up in that infuriatingly charming way. âBut what if Iâm willing to take that risk? To explore those uncharted waters with you?â
âIs that what you do with all the girls who come in here, Father?â you shot back, trying to mask the way your pulse quickened at the thought.
âMost donât provoke me the way you do,â he said, his voice low and velvety. âTheyâre afraid to stray too far from the righteous path. But you⌠you have a light about you that beckons me closer. Itâs intoxicating.â
Your cheeks warmed under his intense scrutiny, but you quickly shook your head, refusing to be swayed. âYou shouldnât say things like that. Youâre a priest.â
âAh, but thatâs the thing, isnât it?â he replied smoothly, his gaze unflinching. âWhat does that really mean? I wear the collar, sure, but Iâm also a manâone who understands the darker desires that lie beneath the surface. Youâre drawn to them, arenât you?â
âMaybe Iâm just curious,â you replied, attempting to sound nonchalant.
âCuriosity is a dangerous game,â he said, his voice a seductive whisper. âEspecially when it leads you to someone like me. You could explore all the answers to your questions, and perhaps even find the absolution you didnât know you were seekingâif you dare to take that step.â
âAnd whatâs the price for that?â you challenged, not ready to give in but undeniably intrigued.
âJust your trust,â he said, his gaze piercing through your defenses. âLet me guide you. Allow me to show you that the rules can bend, that the lines can blur. And in return, youâll discover a side of yourself you never knew existed. Itâs a fair exchange, donât you think?â
âMaybe,â you finally replied, your voice barely above a whisper, âbut Iâm not so easily led.â
He leaned in closer, their faces mere inches apart. âI wouldnât have it any other way.â
He ran his thumb delicately along your lower lip. âLose yourself in me. Let me be your forbidden pleasure, your dark indulgence. Together, we can create a sin so divine, it will set your soul free.â
You feel his thumb diving inside your mouth. He pressed his thumb deeper, exploring the warm, wet cavern of your mouth as if mapping your innermost terrain.
âMmmm, so eager to please," he purred, his other hand sliding down your side to grip your hip, holding you steady. "Your mouth was made for sin." With a subtle twist, he coaxed your tongue to swirl around the intrusion, a sinful game of give-and-take that left you breathless and wanting more. "Such a willing little temptress,"
And before you can process, heâs kissing you. And things gets heated, fast. It doesnât seem to matter that you both were sitting on the couch from his office, inside the church. He claimed your mouth in a bruising kiss, his tongue plunging in to dance with yours in a primal, urgent rhythm. The scent of your arousal mingled with the musky undertones of his cologne, fogging the air with a heady, addictive haze. His hands roamed your body, possessive and demanding, as he pulled you closer, his own arousal throbbing against the confines of his trousers.
âSo sweet," he growled against your lips, breaking the kiss only to nip and suck his way down your neck, leaving a trail of heated, open-mouthed kisses. "Such a delicious little sin."
His fingers deftly unfastened the buttons of your blouse, revealing the lacy bra beneath and the creamy swells of your breasts. You gasped, feeling his lips on your skin. Desperate and wanton, hungry.
He kissed and licked a path downward, pausing to toy with the lacy edge of your bra before tugging the delicate fabric aside with his teeth. His hot mouth closed over the swell of your breast, his tongue swirling to coax forth a responsive moan. His lips slid lower, fixating on your nipple. He suckled, the rhythmic pull of his lips and the scrape of his teeth sending jolts of pleasure-pain shooting through your sensitive flesh.
âMmmm, you taste so divine," he purred, his free hand sliding up your thigh to brush against the damp fabric of your panties. "Every inch of you is made for sin."
You could foresee his intentions even before he started to move. His lips went lower down your chest, over your stomach, to the waistband of your skirt. With practiced ease, he slid his hands down your curves, peeling away the last of your garments with a hunger that bordered on reverence.
Your skirt and panties joined the discarded heap of your blouse and bra on the floor, leaving you bare and vulnerable beneath his intense scrutiny. His eyes raked over you, drinking in every inch of exposed flesh as if committing it to memory. The sight of you, spread out before him, was a feast for his sinful appetites.
âExquisite," he breathed, his voice thick with desire. "You're a vision of decadence. I'm going to indulge in every moment of our encounter, savoring every morsel of pleasure you offer me."
With that, he sank to his knees before you, his fingers brushing against your inner thighs as he gazed up at you with a wicked promise in his eyes. He leaned in, his breath a hot whisper against your most intimate flesh.
And he went at it, eager to devour. He started off with a long, languid lick with the flat of his tongue, licking from the edge of your slit all the way to the clit. It was utterly sinful, erotic.
He lapped at you, his long, dexterous tongue swirling and delving with a sinful expertise that made you gasp and squirm. The flat of his tongue glided along your slit, gathering your sweet essence before he darted the tip to tease the sensitive bump of your clit. He licked and suckled, alternating between long, languid strokes and fast, frantic jabs of his tongue, each one designed to drive you a little crazier with need.
âYou taste so good,," he purred, his words muffled against your pulsing flesh. "I could eat this sweet cunt all day and never tire of it."
Two fingers slipped inside you, stretching and filling you as his tongue continued its relentless assault. He pumped them in and out, matching the rhythm of his tongue's movements as he brought you closer to the edge. His fingers curled, seeking that special spot that would send you plummeting into ecstasy. With each pass, his touch grew firmer, more insistent, as if trying to coax the very essence of your being from your depths. His lips and tongue never ceased their worship of your clit, suckling and flicking against the throbbing nub in a maddening dance of pleasure and desperation.
He could feel you teetering on the brink, your sweet cum flooding his fingers as your hips bucked and writhed in mindless need. His tongue worked frantically against your clit, a dizzying whirl of licks and suckles that left you breathless and begging for more. One last, long lick, and you were sent hurtling over the edge, your orgasm ripping through like a thunderclap.
âYes," he hummed, his voice a reverent whisper. "Let it happen. Let me feel you cum for me." And as the waves of your climax crashed over you, he remained, drinking in every last drop of your release like a man dying of thirst.
And you thought that would be it, but no. He rearranged you, laying you down as he stripped off his cassock in a hurried tug. The garment joined the pile of your clothes, and he wasted no time unfastening his belt and shucking off his trousers. His massive cock sprang free, the thick, pulsing length already flushed and throbbing with need.
He loomed over you, his thick, throbbing cock jutting out before him like a red-hot brand, burning with the need for release. With a knee, he pushed your legs apart, spreading you in blatant invitation, before positioning himself between your thighs. One hand tipped your chin up, forcing you to meet his burning gaze as he lined himself up with your most intimate entrance.
âLast chance to turn back," he growled, the tip of his cock notched against your aching flesh. "Once I sink into you, there's no going back. You'll be mine, body and soul." He paused, his expression almost wistful. "But I know you won't refuse me. You want this, as much as I do."
With that, he surged forward, burying himself in your warmth with a groan of pure, unadulterated pleasure.
He filled you slowly, deliberately, each inch a decadent slide into heaven as he stretched you impossibly wide around his girth. The sensation was overwhelming, the burn of his intrusion mixing with the sweet, tingling pleasure that only he could evoke. When he finally bottomed out, he paused, savoring the feeling of being completely sheathed within you. He was huge, and you could feel every throbbing inch of him as he pulsed and twitched inside you.
âSo perfect," he breathed, his voice low and husky with satisfaction. He took a deep breath, his forehead coming to rest against yours as he fought to regain his composure. "You were made for me. Every curve, every hollow, every inch of your sweet cunt is tailor-made to take my cock."
He began to move, slow and deep at first, withdrawing until only the thick head remained before plunging back in, his strokes growing firmer, more insistent as he lost himself in the mindless pleasure of the joining. â He took you like a man possessed, his pace growing faster, more erratic as he chased his release. The couch creaked in protest beneath both, the sound mingling with the ragged breathing and the obscene squelch of his cock sliding in and out of your soaked pussy. Your back arched, pushing your pert breasts toward his devouring mouth as he feasted on one while still pounding into you. He growled against your skin, the vibrations adding another layer of sensation to the maelstrom of pleasure wracking your body.
Your eyes rolled back, feeling him pounding deep into your cunt as he suckled your tit. Wary, you used a hand to cover your mouth, trying to muffle the sound.
His mouth left your breast with a wet pop, and he sealed his lips over yours in a fierce, dominating kiss. His tongue invaded, claiming yours in a sensual dance that left both breathless. All the while, he continued his relentless pace, his cock pistoning in and out of you with brutal efficiency. He could feel your walls fluttering around him, your sweet cream coating his shaft as you teetered on the brink of another orgasm. With a groan, he broke the kiss, his eyes blazing with a primal intensity as he prepared to unleash his own release.
âCum for me," he commanded, his voice a raw, desperate snarl. "Take my cock, just like that. Fuck- come for me. Come on my cock.â
The mix of the sensations and the sheer desperation on his voice, how needy it suddenly sounded did it for you. As your orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, your inner walls clamped down around him like a vice, cum gushing out to coat his cock and balls. The sensation was enough to tip him over the edge, and with a hoarse bellow, he buried himself to the hilt and came, his thick seed pulsing deep inside you as his body shuddered and spasmed.
âFuck!" he gasped, his hands gripping your hips like an anchor as he rode out the waves of his climax. "Yes... oh, god... yes..." He collapsed on top of you, his weight pressing you into the couch as he struggled to catch his breath.
As you recovered, you started to process. Thinking to yourself. Did you- did you just fuck a priest? Maybe you ARE as troublesome as people claim.
He slowly pulled out of you, his softening cock slipping free with a wet plop. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a tender, lingering kiss, his eyes never leaving yours. "Don't overthink it, my sweet," he murmured against your mouth. "Just enjoy the afterglow."
He leaned on his elbow, his free hand gently brushing the hair from your face as he took in your flushed, sated features.
"We've both crossed lines. Lines we can't simply erase. But perhaps that's for the best. Perhaps this is the key to setting you free." A sly smile played on his lips as he stood, his naked form glistening with sweat in the dim light. "Now, how about we continue this little sin of ours in the bed, hmm?"
And as that idea enticed you⌠you realized that perhaps you ARE a lost cause.
#grotesquerie#fic rec#nicholas chavez#priest kink#priest mayhew#charlie mayhew#charlie mayhew smut#grotesquerie smut#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez smut#smut#iâm down bad for this man#i donât even know what to tag this#priest mayhew smut#priest charlie mayhew smut#ahs smut
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y'know, I wonder if part of the reason why we don't see as much engagement/reblogs with some posts is out of fear that a follower--or just someone who happens to be scrolling through your blog--is going to see something as "problematic" and attack you? is it partly because of this environment of "I don't agree with you, so I'm going to bitch to the whole world about how wrong and awful you are"? does it come from the fear that someone will assume one reblogged post encompasses your entire viewpoint, rather than just being something you happen to agree partly with?
and, yes, the attackers are often a vocal minority--but it has grown significantly larger lately, I think. partly because once some people started doing it, and others saw the attention it got and how much damage it could do to the attacked, they started doing it too.
idk, y'all, it's just something I've noticed about myself lately. sometimes I'll look at a post and go "that has good points, but it's phrased a little clunkily, and I'm not sure I want to reblog it on the off chance somebody's gonna take it wrong." which sucks, y'know? especially because it's unlikely people are going to listen when you try to clarify the nuances of your stance. it inhibits potential growth and discussions that can--and often need--to be had. we wind up curating our feeds to be non-antagonizing to our followers, dismissing opportunities for good discussion in the process.
not to mention, the environment right now often encourages black-and-white thinking and stances. so someone who might have a nuanced take that they put out there may get a bunch of "there's one side or the other and NOTHING ELSE, so you're just plain WRONG" responses, a) stopping a potentially constructive conversation and b) discouraging the original responder from continuing to add to conversations.
*sigh* anyway, just my thoughts
#synapse talks#I don't even know what to tag this#engagement#this isn't to say that a lot of people just don't reblog bc of whatever other reasons (artists need the reblogs guys!)#or to say that choosing not to reblog something is bad--sometimes it doesn't work with what you want on your blog and that's fair#but like... idk I think this is a big part of why we've lost the positive engagement that--#from what I understand--#was more common in the past#ofc this is also not to say that some people aren't real shitty and phobic around and genuinely need to be called out#but like. even then. sometimes the way people call them out is just not the right way to approach ppl#anyway society could use some more recognition of nuance that's all I'm saying#(and a TON of other people are saying buuuut we do live in a Society don't we.)
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