#because the only way to maintain safe spaces is making sure people who are coming genuinely and wanting to participate can even if they

[deadpoetsandlivinglegends]

Y’all respectfully don’t mind what this person is saying, please keep posting all your interpretations even if this one person isn’t having fun cause I for one quite enjoy them. I like reading them even if people might see them as ‘mundane’ or ‘basic’ takes because they encourage us to use critical thinking and look deeper at the characters within the media we consume. Seeing tons of interpretations can help me personally think deeper about the media and forces me to determine what my own opinions are, whether from agreeing or disagreeing. Also people trying to say their interpretations is them trying to demonstrate in their own lives the whole point of this movie, like even if people do happen to wrongly label it ‘unpopular opinion’, like literally who cares, people may be running in different sides of the fandom which may have differing opinions on things so to this person they may be under the impression that this is unpopular, which is exactly why we should encourage them to speak up when they have a different opinion because speaking your mind when people hate on you for doing so or for having thoughts on things that may differ from the people around you is an important thing, so like everyone, especially the young adults, please keep giving your interpretations and don’t feel discouraged bout it 🫶

And just so homie can maybe have a little more fun in this fandom and stop *checks notes* ‘gatekeeping interpreting media one consumes from teenagers’ because they *checks notes again* ‘haven’t had enough experience interpreting media so they therefore “don’t understand” how to properly interpret media they consume and therefore should stop trying instead of practicing to get better at it’, I’ll give them one of the ‘character x is misunderstood’ posts based on what they in the tags outlined and determined to be ‘unpopular’ enough for an interpretation.

Despite what the fandom things, Neil’s father was a relatively good father, the best parent out of all the poet’s parents, but he had flaws that caused his downfall. Neil’s father actually cared about his son, but he had faulty ideas because he was failed by the same systems that oppress Neil so he didn’t realize in trying to protect Neil from those systems, he was suppressing and in a way killing his son. Mr. Perry’s own traumas affect his relationship with his son and his decisions he makes in the movie, even if Neil never could see it in that light because he was being taught different than his father.

His father grew up in an environment where he was made to believe that the only way to protect his son and make sure he lived life to the fullest was by trying to help him succeed in the world they were in rather than try to change the world to fit Neil’s needs. His way of showing he loved his son, although we know it was misguided, was by trying to help his son succeed so he doesn’t have to face difficult hardships in life. Mr. Perry likely would have had to live during the Great Depression, watching people struggle to get by, knowing firsthand what it was like and not wanting that life for Neil. He tells Neil that he had opportunities his father didn’t, as we know his father likely lived through this difficult economic time in America followed by likely being affected by World War 2, whether through enlisting or through the draft. Mr. Perry, through pushing Neil into medicine, was trying to open up opportunities for Neil so he wouldn’t feel stuck like those people Mr. Perry had to watch live through these difficult times in history, and the dramatic irony is that through trying to make Neil not feel stuck in the future, he only made Neil feel more stuck now because Neil constantly felt micromanaged and that his desires were plowed over in favor of what his father thinks is best for a future Neil that we know will never exist. Everyone thinks Mr. Perry is too strict for the sake of being strict or is trying to live through Neil, but it’s clear he is a man driven by fear and beliefs stemming from his own trauma of growing up in these flawed systems, trying to make sure his son has a good life. The tragedy comes in when in trying to make sure his son has a good life, he is unknowingly killing his own son.

That is also why he tells keating in that deleted scene that he blames him, because he truly believed he was giving his son the best life his son could get in the world they were in, but then his son had this teacher who encouraged him to pursue a risky career that would cause him to live a tricky life barely getting by if getting by at all, which his son threw away the whole ‘safe’ future Mr. Perry had laid out for him in order to follow this risky barely thought out plan, and when Mr. Perry tries to push his son away from this unsafe and unsuccessful life, his son is so overdriven by emotions that he kills himself.

He didn’t believe the world could be changed and he believed his son trying would only result in him being crushed so he was trying to protect him, but unknowingly was only shutting his son out and causing his son to feel unloved and unheard. This doesn’t make him a bad person or a bad father, but merely a caring father who was a victim of the world he lived in misguidedly trying to force his son to adhere to the system against what his son needed, forcing his son to feel the only way out to be death as his father couldn’t listen due to his own fears. He was a loving father with a fatal flaw that caused not only his downfall but the downfall of those around him too. This does not make Mr. Perry inherently bad as we know he is just as much a victim as those who were hurt by his actions, but that does not mean he was right in his actions.

This story shows us despite our initial beliefs, perhaps adults don’t always know better than children, and it is through listening and open dialogue between the two that these systems work best. Maybe we should sit and think deeply about this before we tell children online to shut up because them having opinions on a topic only results in ‘mundane takes’, just some food for thought, ya know

sometimes i have fun, sometimes i see a post of someone claiming to have an unpopular opinion and then saying the most mundane shit about people "not understanding x character" and i remember this fandom is full of Literal Children

[theunsinkableship1]

DENIAL IS NOT A RIVER IN LUKOLALAND

⚠️DISCLAIMER: This is Lukolaland only. Skip if you don't believe.

Denial is a river in LUKOLALAND?

This has to be a joke, right? Some responses that I have received on my latest posts on TT and Tumblr leave me perplexed. Let me make something clear: I’m not here to convince anyone of anything. You have the right to believe whatever you want, that’s your prerogative. However, this is a Lukola space. It’s a space that exists to celebrate their connection, to nurture it from afar, because it shines brightly and is uniquely beautiful.

I don’t know them personally. I can only judge from what I’ve seen and heard, and I fully acknowledge that my perception is biased. My interpretations come from the way I read into their actions, their words, and their patterns. What I share here isn’t fact, it’s speculation based on observation. The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t know what’s really going on.

First and foremost, they are colleagues and FRIENDS. They’ve said that multiple times, and I believe them. For those who doubt their friendship, I don’t know what to tell you. That’s the foundation here. If you don’t even believe in their bond as friends, this probably isn’t the space for you.

But here’s where it gets complicated: they’re not just platonic friends. You may have missed it, but the signs are there, publicly available. You just need to pay attention. I’m not talking about outlandish theories; I’m talking about what’s right there if you’re willing to see it.

I believe they’re in love with each other. As for their current situation? I’m not certain. But the level of plausible deniability in their story doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe it does to you, but for someone who thinks in layers, patterns, double entendres, and undertones, someone who loves words and has studied communication and PR, this whole narrative is anything but straightforward.

Leaving this much space for misinterpretation is a choice. If they wanted to shut this down entirely, they could’ve done so with clarity and finality. It’s not that they can’t make themselves understood without being misconstrued, they absolutely can. But they haven’t.

It’s wise to keep a level of doubt, it maintains objectivity and prevents overreach. However, when coincidences stack up and patterns emerge, it becomes increasingly unlikely that they’re all mere misunderstandings or products of plausible deniability.

The more coincidences there are, the less likely they are to be unrelated.

On their own, one or two could easily be explained away, “just friends,” “PR,” or “fans reading too much into it.”

When similar themes arise repeatedly over months or years (e.g., their timing, shared themes, subtle nods to one another), the likelihood of them being mere coincidence diminishes.

The concept of plausible deniability hinges on actions that could be explained in multiple ways. However, the more layers of ambiguity and deniability built into their interactions, the more intentional it feels.

The subtleties of their public dynamic suggest a shared awareness of fan interpretations. They know how their actions are perceived. To repeatedly engage in behaviors that could be "misunderstood" suggests either: a) Intentional messaging within safe boundaries. b) A significant lack of care, which doesn’t align with how thoughtful and calculated they seem to be.

Take Nicola’s recent Times interview as an example. She could have ended all speculation right there,

“A lot of people really want me to marry Luke,” she says with a laugh. “We have this gorgeous friendship. We have such a love for one another and this experience that I’ll never have with someone else again. Isn’t it gorgeous that a man and woman can have that sort of relationship with one another?”

but she didn’t. Why? There must be a reason. And no, it’s not just PR. PR campaigns don’t operate on layers of plausible deniability that stretch across years, interweave with personal moments, and rely on such specific timing.

Isn’t it strange that for two people who have been so close, their social interactions have significantly decreased compared to before? Over the past two years, especially after the world tour, they appeared to have solidified a deep friendship. If the intent is to disengage fans from the idea that they might be secretly in love, wouldn’t it be wiser to interact more naturally and perhaps even acknowledge each other’s perceived partners?

From a strategic perspective, a like, a follow, or a simple interaction on social media could have gone a long way in dismantling the Lukola narrative. Such actions would feel natural for close friends, especially ones under public scrutiny. Their reluctance to adopt this approach only adds to the curiosity. Why not lean into a strategy that would be less detrimental and more effective at quelling speculation?

Perhaps they are more active on private social media accounts, but publicly, the absence of these gestures stands out. If the goal truly is to clarify their relationship and put fan theories to rest, this perceived distance feels counterproductive. The choice to refrain from such actions, at least for now, is, at the very least, curious. Could it be that there’s a reason they haven’t done so yet?

Both Luke and Nicola have had ample opportunities to firmly address and deny the Lukola narrative. While they’ve made passing comments about being friends, these have lacked the clarity and directness that would fully quash the speculation. Why leave the door ajar if they truly wanted to shut it?

Their reduced interactions seem to have coincided with the conclusion of the promotional period for Bridgerton. During promotions, they were actively engaging with each other and the fandom, fostering the image of a close bond. The sudden change afterward could indicate a deliberate decision to recalibrate public perceptions of their relationship.

The decrease in public interactions after the “papgate” could be their way of managing fallout from the incident, yet it raises questions: Why would two close friends need to distance themselves so noticeably? It suggests a calculated retreat to reduce speculation. However, this strategy seems counterproductive, as the abruptness of the change has drawn more attention. A gradual shift, paired with natural acknowledgments of their respective supposed personal lives, might have been more effective.

It’s possible they’re still VERY close privately but have chosen to limit their public interactions to avoid misinterpretation, or for privacy reasons. If so, this deliberate choice to create distance publicly could point to a deeper connection they’re trying to shield.

This brings us back to patterns. If you observe their public interactions, their timing, their word choices, the double meanings, they’re not random. These coincidences pile up to the point where it’s hard to believe they’re all meaningless. Their bond transcends the boundaries of PR, platonic friendship, or even ordinary relationships.

If you reason in layers, you’ll see it too. The amount of room they leave for interpretation is extraordinary. It’s not just about what they say, it’s about what they don’t say. It’s about the undertones, the pauses, the way they navigate questions, and even the things they choose to share (or not share) on social media. All of this seems to be deliberate. The picture is larger and more intricate than it seems on the surface.

For example: Am I truly supposed to believe that Nicola, who has a higher degree in English and a major grasp of language, would post a Scrabble board with so many elements that could be interpreted through a Lukola lens purely by coincidence? Yes, she’s an avid player of word games, but let’s examine the board itself. It reflects competent but not advanced gameplay, logical and adhering to Scrabble rules, yes, but lacking the level of complexity, strategy, and nuanced word choice you’d expect from someone of her linguistic caliber or from a player displaying their skill.

For me, this was never just about showing off her love of Scrabble. It felt intentional, like an intended message rather than a casual post. If the goal was simply to share her hobbies or an aesthetic moment, she could’ve easily posted a picture of herself playing Scrabble, perhaps with a pint of Guinness in hand. Or she could’ve showcased a more advanced board to reflect her skills or creativity. Instead, she chose this specific board with these specific words, words that align so conveniently with a narrative many of us have come to associate with Lukola.

And let’s not forget her self-awareness. Why would someone who knows how deeply her posts are analyzed by fans continue to share things that are repeatedly misconstrued? If she didn’t want the association, why add layers of ambiguity, such as the now infamous “the very demure, very mindful” quote? What was the reason?

Just two days ago, she posted a photo in her best of 2024 the phrase "if you know, you know." Let’s be honest, how many Lukola edits have we seen that riff of "when you know, you know"? If this wasn’t related to that, what exactly was the point of the “random” quote?  Is it public knowledge or is it something only some know? Nicola is anything but random on social media. She’s chronically online, she’s clever, and she’s incredibly aware of the narratives circulating around her.

These patterns, Scrabble boards, cryptic quotes, wordplay, and selective ambiguity, don’t feel accidental. They feel curated. For someone so skilled with words and communication, there’s intention behind these choices. If it were just for fun, she could have chosen countless other ways to express herself that wouldn’t leave so much room for interpretation. But she didn’t. And for me, that’s speaks volumes.

I’m mainly talking about Nicola here because there’s simply more material to analyze, her posts, interviews, and public interactions offer more clues and layers to unpack. However, Luke’s activity, or rather, his noticeable lack of activity, is equally intriguing and worth examining.

Luke has always been more reserved on social media compared to Nicola, but his recent silence or carefully curated posts stand out. He’s not just absent; he’s selectively absent. There’s a difference between being inactive and deliberately staying under the radar. For someone who previously shared glimpses of his personal life and participated more openly in fandom engagement, his current approach feels intentional.

When he does post, the content often seems neutral, leaning into professional promotion or generic life updates. Yet, the timing or lack of acknowledgment of certain things, whether related to Nicola or even his supposed personal relationships, leaves room for speculation. It’s almost as if he’s consciously avoiding feeding into narratives while simultaneously not shutting them down.

For instance, why hasn’t he addressed certain rumors head-on, as he has done in the past with other relationships? Luke has historically been upfront about his. It’s a choice.

Considering that Luke has been involved in other projects and worked with other co-stars since the end of the Bridgerton world tour, the ratio of content related to Nicola remains strikingly high. Among the limited glimpses he does share, Nicola accounts for the largest percentage of reposts and interactions. What’s even more telling is that the majority of this content is Lukola-focused, centered on his dynamic with Nicola as individuals, rather than strictly Polin-related, which would be tied to their characters and professional pairing. Yes, she is his MAIN co-star within the Bridgerton universe, but this level of engagement is noteworthy.

This isn’t to say he doesn’t appreciate or acknowledge his other co-stars; it’s just that the weight of attention, however subtle, consistently gravitates toward Nicola. Whether it’s the choice of what he reposts or the absence of comparable attention toward other colleagues, the pattern emerges loud and clear.

If we analyze this through a lens of probability and statistics, the numbers paint an even more intriguing picture. Let’s say Luke has worked with five to seven notable co-stars in other projects and in Bridgerton, if he has been tagged in or had the opportunity to engage with 100 pieces of social media content since the world tour. If Nicola accounts for, say, 60% of the interactions and reposts, despite being one of many co-stars, it defies the expectation of a more even distribution.

For context, if he were equally invested in all professional relationships, the engagement with Nicola might hover closer to 15-20%, proportional to the size of his broader network. The fact that this number is so much higher, let’s conservatively estimate at least three to four times greater raises questions. Is this simply because of their shared Bridgerton fame? Perhaps. But then why focus on individual Lukola moments, bypassing more neutral or inclusive Polin or broader cast content?

From a mathematical standpoint, the odds of this being purely coincidental diminish significantly when you layer in the context:

Nicola has the highest percentage of reposts across Luke's social media activity.

The type of content intimate, personal, or Lukola-specific reflects a curated choice, not random selection.

Even in a professional context, where Polin content would be the obvious promotional focus, the Lukola-centric moments shine through.

Given the numbers and probabilities, it seems less likely that this pattern is accidental or merely reflective of professional obligations. Instead, it suggests an intentionality that aligns with the depth and uniqueness of their connection.

Promotion for Bridgerton Season 3 has come to a halt, creating a quiet period where we can observe and compare how Luke approaches the promotion of his other projects.it could highlight how unique his dynamic with Nicola truly is.

The nature of the content he shares for other projects will be equally telling

By comparing these promotional efforts both in terms of frequency and tone to the patterns established during the Bridgerton promotional cycle, we could gain insight into whether his approach to Nicola was truly unique or simply part of his broader professional routine.

When coincidences pile up, their probability of being just coincidences shrinks dramatically. A single instance might be random, but repeated instances with similar themes, timing, and emotional undertones suggest a deeper meaning. While maintaining doubt is reasonable, the sheer volume of these moments suggests that there’s more at play than mere misunderstanding. It’s not about overreaching, it’s about acknowledging that where there’s consistent smoke, there’s likely some fire. What type of fire is there currently? I’m not sure. Are you? Probably an Eternal flame.

[30somethingautisticteacher]

The drunk woman was relentless, invading Tommy's personal space as he tried to step back. He kept flashing his ring, but either she hadn't noticed or simply didn't care. Tommy glanced at his watch, grateful Evan hadn't arrived yet to see this mess.

"I'm just a poor girl all alone and new to the city," she slurred, pressing closer. "Can you help me get home safely? You can drive me, and then you can come up and I can thank you properly." She traced a finger down his arm. "I'm sure your wife wouldn't mind."

'Okay, she just doesn't care,' Tommy thought, taking a step back.

"I'm sure the bartender would be happy to call a cab for you," he said firmly.

"But you're so big and strong. I would feel so protected," she pouted, swaying slightly.

"I'm flattered, but I'm sure you'll be plenty safe," Tommy said, maintaining his distance. "And my husband won't like you all over me."

"Husband?" the woman spat, her flirtatious demeanor instantly shifting. "Seriously, you're gay?" Her slurred voice dripped with disdain.

It was at that exact moment that Evan appeared.

"Oh, he's very, very gay," Evan said, draping his arms over Tommy's shoulders and pulling him in for a steamy kiss.

"Hi, baby," Tommy said when they broke apart, his earlier tension melting away at his husband's presence.

"You can go now," Evan said dismissively to the woman.

"You're the husband?" she scoffed, looking Evan up and down with obvious judgment. "What a waste."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Evan asked, his voice sharpening. Tommy could feel him tensing up beside him.

"Not worth it, sweetheart," Tommy said softly, squeezing Evan's hand. He knew that tone in his husband's voice - the one that meant someone had struck a nerve.

"No, I want to know," Evan insisted, his jaw set. The playful possessiveness from moments ago had been replaced by something harder, more defensive. "What exactly is being wasted here?"

"Your lifestyle," she sneered, waving her hand dismissively. "Two big, strong, handsome men shacking up together."

"Shacking up?" Evan said, his voice dangerously quiet. The woman had crossed a line, and Tommy knew his husband well enough to recognize when he was about to snap.

"We're not shacking up," Evan continued, holding up his left hand where his wedding ring caught the bar lights. "We're married. Legally married. I walked down an aisle, said vows, signed papers, and promised to love this man for the rest of my life. And you know what? It was the best decision I ever made."

Tommy's heart swelled, watching his husband defend their marriage.

"So no, it's not a waste. What would be a waste is if I pretended to be something I'm not just to make people like you comfortable. Now if you'll excuse us, I'd like to have a drink with my husband."

"You people," the girl said, shaking her head in disgust.

Tommy felt Evan stiffen next to him, ready for another round, but this time Tommy stepped forward. He'd let Evan handle it his way, now it was his turn.

"Ah, 'you people,'" Tommy said, his voice calm but firm. "Let me tell you about 'us people.' My husband and I are first responders. We put our lives on the line every single day for others - including people who think like you do. I spent years hiding who I was because of that kind of hatred, afraid to be myself. But then I finally accepted who I really was, and that opened my heart to the possibility of love. And I found it - real, earth-shattering, life-changing love."

He pulled Evan closer, feeling his husband relax against him. "So the only waste here would be letting people like you make us ashamed of something so beautiful."

Tommy turned away from the woman, effectively dismissing her. "Come on, baby."

The woman slunk away into the crowd, her previous bravado gone.

"You ok, babe?" Evan asked, turning to Tommy with concern.

"Are you kidding?" Tommy said, pulling him closer by his belt loops. "That was extremely sexy watching you tell her off like that. Look how far my little baby bi has come."

"Couldn't have done it without you," Evan said softly.

"You know, I'm actually more hungry than thirsty," Tommy said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, is that so?" Evan replied, a knowing smirk spreading across his face."Well, we should probably do something about that."

"Yeah, we probably better," Tommy said, pulling Evan in for a heated kiss.

When they broke apart, Evan was speechless. He shook his head. "But not here."

"Right, right, let's get out of here."

They stumbled out of the bar together, Tommy tugging Evan along by their joined hands. Their laughter mixed with the night air, any trace of anger long forgotten replaced by the joy of just being together.

[sleepy-steve]

@steddieangstyaugust 06/08 // “Who did this?” 

wc: 2.5k // rating: T // cw: homophobic slur, hate crime, blood/wounds // tags: post-s4 but vecna dies, eddie lives, hate crime, satanic panic, wound care

divider credits @steddiecameraroll-graphics

When Eddie woke up in the hospital after days in a medically induced coma, Steve felt a relief so deep it caught him off guard.

He wasn’t sure why the feeling was so intense. Maybe because it was the closest they’d gotten to actually losing someone. Maybe it was because Steve was the one to bring him back from the edge of death. The speeding drive to the hospital spent in cold fear that Eddie might bleed out in the backseat after Steve had given CPR, pushing hard enough to hear Eddie’s ribs crack before he took in a faint wheeze of a breath and his pulse fluttered weakly beneath his skin. 

Either way, when Eddie finally blinked awake—groggy and fearful—relief washed warm and heavy over Steve, eyes filling with tears as he gripped Eddie’s hand tightly and whispered to him quiet words of welcoming, soft praises of having done so well, gentle reassurances that he was safe now. The fear in Eddie’s eyes slowly faded. He gave a small nod—his movement limited—and with it, placed his trust in Steve.

The trust between them maintained, lingered, grew into something strong with each day spent recovering, each whispered fear and secret shared between them, each lingering hand hold. Whatever it was, it was growing, and alongside it, a fear that it was turning into something Steve wouldn’t be able to stop.

Weeks after his release from the hospital, Eddie greeted him with a story of being chased off by friends of Jason Carver—uninjured, thankfully, but still shaken—and Steve felt the rush of overprotection fill his veins like adrenaline, and realised it might be something a little more than that. But no, Steve felt protective over all of his friends. This was no different. He assured himself that the hot spike of fury and need to protect his friend was normal. His reaction was equal to the danger in which his friend was currently in. The perception of Eddie Munson in Hawkins was still… in poor favour. Despite him being cleared of all charges formally, the town had difficulty letting go of this idea that Eddie was a dangerous individual. These were people that tried to kill Eddie, it only made sense that Steve would feel this way. This was just a normal, close friendship. Until it wasn’t.

Steve’s driving toward the trailer park, warm afternoon air flowing through the open windows, a new mixtape from Eddie blasting from his speakers. Tapping the wheel along with the music, Steve takes the turn down towards the Munson trailer, slowing as he sees something that doesn’t quite fit with the landscape. Bright red. Steve’s heart drops. He turns down the music, slowing his car to a crawl. Once close enough, he parks and throws himself out of the beemer, taking in the awful sight before him.

FREAK. DEVIL WORSHIPPER. FAG. SATANIST. REPENT. All scrawled in blood red paint across the front of the trailer. Alongside the repeated words, symbols—upside down crucifixes, pentagrams, crudely drawn demon-like figures—filling up any available space. Steve feels his throat close up, immediately rushing to the door and trying not to knock too aggressively.

“Eddie? Are you in there?” He calls softly. “It’s Steve. C’mon, man, open up.”

Steve listens intently, until he hears shuffling behind the door, the sound of what could be something shifting across the carpet. Finally, the door cracks open.

“Eddie…” Steve says with relief, but the door doesn’t open further. “Are you okay? Jesus, what happened?”

Steve can only see a sliver of Eddie’s face, one eye wide and shining with fear. “Are—are you alone?” Eddie croaks. Hearing the way Eddie spoke makes his throat tighten.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s just me, man.” Steve keeps his tone as gentle as possible. “Can I come in?”

Eddie only looks at him, seemingly thinking hard, before turning quickly but leaving the door open. Steve steps inside quickly, and the door snaps shut behind him, bolts locking and chain pulled across immediately. Eddie stays facing the door, and Steve sees that his hair is half tied up, and one hand is gripping tightly at his side, fingers digging into his ribs. Despite wanting to ask more questions, Steve keeps quiet, feeling like Eddie might freak out or bolt if he speaks. 

After a minute that feels like an hour, Eddie finally turns.

Steve can’t help the sharp intake of breath, the way his blood turns to ice, the flare of his nostrils in fury at what he sees. Eddie’s left eye—the one hidden by the door before—is black and swollen almost shut. The purpling extends down his cheekbone. A gash at the top of his head is open, blood seemingly hastily wiped away, but still sticky at Eddie’s hairline and down the side of his face. His lower lip is busted near the corner, bright red and swollen, still dripping blood that Eddie unconsciously licks away. With his hair partially pulled back, Steve spots purple and red on Eddie’s throat. He looks to where Eddie still holds tight at his side, and sees how his knuckles too are red and bloodied. 

When he finally looks back up to Eddie’s face, he sees a look of shame. Steve feels a storm brew in his chest. He reaches out, leaving distance just in case. Eddie flinches, instinctively, before stepping forward into Steve’s space. He lets Steve trail his fingers, softer than he would have expected, along his jaw, gently shifting his head around to look at his injuries. Allows Steve to move a lock of hair that didn’t make it into the hairband, carefully avoiding the open wounds. His warm palm settles on the side of Eddie’s face that was—for the most part—uninjured. The gesture so soft, so kind, a tear spills from Eddie’s good eye.

Steve holds steady, keeps his voice low. “Who did this?”

“Steve…” Eddie whispers. “I… I tried—tried to—” He can’t finish the sentence, words catching in his throat, breath speeding up as more tears run down his face, pooling against Steve’s hand.

“It’s okay,” Steve says, soft and reassuring. “I’m here, it’s okay. I got you.”

Eddie shuffles forward, close enough that Steve can feel his short panicked breaths. Steve slowly opens his arms, hesitating, before Eddie lets himself lean against his chest. Lowering his arms with care, Steve places his hands on Eddie’s back like he’s handling glass, feeling the sharp gasp and the tremble in the other man’s body. Eddie sags against him, curled so his face is against Steve’s shoulder. He feels his heart pound with rage at whoever did this. He feels something else as well, a shame in himself for not having been there, for not protecting Eddie. If he’d gotten there earlier, could this have been avoided?

Steve pulls away, despite wanting to do the opposite—wanting to hold Eddie so tight, envelop him in care, to let him know that he’s safe—and looks over him again, taking stock of the wounds. “Can I help?”

Eddie nods, breath still shaky but much calmer, and allows Steve to guide him back to his own kitchen. Steve grabs a chair, motioning for Eddie to sit, and turns to where a first-aid kit is already opened on the counter. Alongside it, a towel with blood on it and a bottle of saline.

“Did you try to clean yourself up?”

“Wouldn’t—” Eddie hisses as he sits. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Steve looks back at him with concern.

“C’mon, man,” Eddie says with a wince. “You know what it was like for me.”

Guilt sits in Steve’s gut. He did know. Watched, more than once, when Eddie would end up surrounded by jocks—outnumbered—and one would deliver resounding punches to his face and stomach. Eddie would only ever spur them on. “Come on! That all you got? Give me another. You know how much I like it.” Words wet with blood, teeth shining with it. Eyes lit up despite the bruises forming around them. He’d get under their skin, letting them leave with disgust.

Steve doesn’t respond, instead turns back to the counter, grabbing a roll of paper towels and the saline. Holding the damp square up, Steve waits, and Eddie gives him another nod. Steve gets to work, wiping away the sticky blood around the head wound. Eddie hisses between his teeth when Steve moves over it, trying his best to be gentle. “Sorry,” Steve whispers.

“S’okay,” Eddie rasps.

The silence settles between them for a while, Eddie’s breathing finally slows to a normal, if slightly shallow, rate. Steve wants to ask again, to know who did this, but waits. Focuses on the job at hand, cleaning the remaining blood away from Eddie’s lip.

With all the blood cleaned up, Steve turns to the freezer and pulls out a bag of peas, wrapping them in a kitchen towel. He hands it to Eddie, who gingerly holds it up to his black eye, sucking in a sharp breath at the contact. The bruising on Eddie’s hands looks bad too, but they’ll have to come back to that. Looking over the first-aid kit, Steve pulls out some antiseptic wipes and adhesive bandages.

“These are gonna sting a bit,” Steve says, ripping open the wipes.

Eddie huffs a laugh. “Least of my concerns.”

Steve gives him a half smile. At least he was joking around a bit. He starts to clean around the head wound, noticing how Eddie’s good eye squeezes shut when the alcohol makes contact, and tries to move quickly. “It’s not too deep, shouldn’t need stitches.”

“How d’you know?” Eddie mutters, still wincing at the sting.

“Had my fair share of head wounds,” Steve says, still focused on the wipe in his hand.

Eddie doesn’t respond, just looks up at him with his uncovered eye. Steve moves down to Eddie’s lower lip, softly swiping at the cut, noticing the blood still in his mouth, the purple bruising that extends down to his jaw.

“Are you gonna tell me?” Steve turns to the counter, grabbing the butterfly stitch bandages. “Who did this to you?”

“Does it matter?” Eddie asks. “What’re you gonna do? Go beat them up, defend my honour?” His voice is heavy with sarcasm.

Steve gives him a quick look, before peeling the bandages off the wrapping. “I might.” 

Letting Steve turn his head slightly, careful not to touch any of the wounds, Eddie keeps his good eye locked on him. Seemingly assessing him. “Just the same bullshit…” His voice is thick, his eye glassy with fresh tears. “They still think I did it. That I killed Chrissy. Nothing is ever gonna change that for them.” Eddie inhales shakily. “If not that, they’ll find some other reason to hate me. Easy target.”

“We’ll find a way,” Steve says. “Even if it means. I dunno. Even if we have to leave.”

Steve holds the cut closed, and begins applying the strips, tongue between his teeth as he concentrates, ensuring they don’t get stuck in Eddie’s hair. Eddie is watching him carefully again. “You’d do that?” Eddie asks, voice soft. “Leave—with me?”

Lowering himself to Eddie’s eyeline, he places a hand on his shoulder. “Isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you, Eddie.”

It’s far more earnest, far more vulnerable, than either of them have been with each other before. Eddie doesn’t say anything, just frowns slightly, like he’s trying to figure something out. They sit in silence as Steve works, only the sounds of their breathing and the unpeeling of more bandages in the room. All of it feels so… intimate, Eddie allowing Steve to take care of him, to clean his wounds and patch him up. They’d been close since Eddie woke up in the hospital, but not like this.

“Alright, that should do it,” Steve says, scrunching the bandage wrapping. He then looks to Eddie’s hands. “Lemme see.”

Eddie holds out his free hand, and Steve takes it in his, turning it as he assesses the damage. He flattens Eddie’s fingers, then softly curls them, handling him like something precious and breakable. “Any pain?” 

Eddie shakes his head in response. Reaching over for a new antiseptic wipe, Steve keeps Eddie’s hand in his, reluctant to let it go. He cleans the small cuts—splits from punching, if Steve’s own experience told him anything. He applies a small band-aid, before motioning for Eddie to swap, taking his other hand away from the bag of peas. Repeating the process, stretching and curling Eddie’s fingers and cleaning the wounds, Steve tries to ignore the intrusive thought that tells him they’re holding hands. Now wasn’t the time for that.

Feeling Eddie’s eyes on him, Steve finally releases his hand. Clears his throat. “Can’t do much about this.” Steve gestures to Eddie’s lip, wishing instead he could let his thumb trail along the side of it. “Any others? You were holding your side before.”

Setting the bag of peas aside, Eddie moves with effort to pull up his shirt. Steve kneels down immediately. Where Eddie’s barely healed scars are still red around his ribs, deep purple bruises paint his chest and waist. Extending a shaking hand, Steve stops himself from touching, instead hovering over the skin. His breath shakes as he tries to remain calm. Whatever was keeping his emotions held back is broken at the sight.

“Eddie…” Steve looks up at him, pain in his eyes.

Dropping his shirt back down, Eddie looks away. “It’s fine. Nothing’s broken.”

“Nothing about this is fine, Eddie,” Steve tries to catch his eye again. “We already almost lost you once. I don’t think I could handle it if…” Still kneeling, Steve cautiously takes both of Eddie’s hands in his. “I can’t lose you,” he says, voice breaking.

Eddie frowns again, this time with something like pain in his expression. “I’m here, Steve. I’m okay. Thanks to you.”

Steve nods, tears welling and ready to spill over. “I just… I wish I could protect you better.”

Eddie leans closer, pain momentarily forgotten. “You’ve done more than enough,” he breathes, and their faces are so close together. 

Glancing down at Eddie’s lips, and back up to his eye, he feels himself leaning in. He stops, lips parted, waiting. Eddie closes the gap, pressing his lips tenderly to Steve’s. A shudder runs through his body, and Steve kisses back as gently as he possibly can, feeling heat where Eddie’s lip is split and bruised. One hand trails up to cup Eddie’s jaw, barely brushing against the stubble growing there. Eddie rests a hand on Steve’s chest, feeling the way his heart races. 

They part, Steve still kneeling on the ground and looking up at Eddie. He leans in for another gentle kiss, twice more, hopefully conveying all he wishes he had the words for. As Eddie looks at him, smile pulling at the cut on his lip, Steve makes himself a promise.

For the rest of his life, he’ll do anything to keep Eddie safe.

[sssarrrra]

𝐅𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠

Fyodor can still feel things, no matter how much he tries to hide it. We know where he channels his negative emotions (to sinners). But where do the positive ones go? Well, he dedicates them to God.

God is a time capsule for all the positive feelings that are still left inside Fyodor. They're too vulnerable, too tender, too childish to share them with humans. People will only trample over them and leave him empty.

But Dostoevsky still can't part with his sentiments. They give his heart a little jolt so it can keep living a little longer. So where can he direct them?

God is left as his only safe space for that.

Fyodor treats the concept of God like a coffer, where he can store his dreams from the earlier days. All of his hopes, aspirations, fantasies are better be locked inside the God's chest. Since God is the only one occupying Fyodor's brain, he'll keep them safe.

Devine being became a target for Fyodor's affection because He can't reject or hurt Dostoevsky in any meaningful way. It's left up to Fyodor's mind to imagine God as he likes. And so he does it.

God becomes not only a symbol to thrive for, but also a companion that helps him to cope with the loneliness.

God accepts all the Fyodor's needs humanity haven't fulfilled. His agonizing idealism, his need for deep understanding of his soul and a connection that makes him feel at home.

Surely, during the centuries of Fyodor's life, he came close to forming a bond with people at least a few times. But the process of separation was so painful, Dostoy decided it wasn't worth it anyway.

His failure to organically morn the end of his relations led to his fatal inability to reattach once again. Fyodor mistrusts new people in his life: he compartmentalizes them, puts on labels, and tries to keep every interaction under control.

The only one who can relate to this mindset is Bram, but even he is able to break away from it because of Aya. Stoker risks taking interest in the girl and then sacrifices his life for her. Now Bram's time is no longer frozen in place, he's moving forward, his character progresses.

But Fyodor is too overwhelmed with his feelings and memories that have never healed. He probably thinks that even a small bit of a emotional pain will break him entirely. So even if someone comes to Dostoevsky, waving a friendship flag in the air, Fyodor will shut down to keep them away.

This is what happened with Gogol. Nikolai wanted to be friends with Fyodor. But Dostoy never showed him any of his deeper emotions. By hiding all personal information, Dos-kun maintained a distance between himself and a jester. So the later couldn't reach out to and comfort Fyodor even if he wanted.

Of course, there is always a chance that Gogol would use Dostoevsky's feelings against him. And Fyodor also probably thought about that, so he cut off that option entirely. Sadly, we'd never see where their connection could lead, if Dostoevsky chose to share with Nikolai his everything. Maybe, it would lead to an even bigger disaster, but perhaps they would be able to find some solace in each other.

Now Fyodor is too hurt to open up his soul. All the scars on it had fused into an armor, protecting him from caring about others. Dostoevsky's soul became a shell, impenetrable from the outside. He made sure it would never change. His fortress. His prison. His mind.

Trapped inside of it, Dostoevsky still craved for someone to be there for him. Fyodor wanted a friend with whom he could converse without lying. He wanted a family. Maybe, he even wanted a lover.

Therefore, God was cast in all the roles that had been left vacant in Fyodor's life. And of course, Devine Being could fulfill them better than anyone. At least, from the Dostoy's perspective, his life was easier this way.

In Fyodor's story, God is a star of every relationship he still has.

God is almost like a friend, but he won't argue back or abandon him in pain. He won't make Fyodor feel inadequate by disagreeing with his perspective.

God is like a family, but he loves Fyodor unconditionally or at least His “conditions” are kinder than human ones. They're much more bearable than the rules Dostoevsky had to abide by when he was a child.

God is like a lover, but his love isn't physically “sinful” (whatever sexuality Fyodor has, it's very morphed and repressed). Devine being won't be put off by Fyodor's appearance and won't leave once He sees who Fyodor truly is.

God is like a teacher, but he doesn't have a hidden agenda and actually wants Fyodor to be better. God knows indefinitely more than Fyodor, so He can always share something new from His well of knowledge.

And of course, God will never change, die or choose someone else. He is always there.

It feels safe for Fyodor to love and admire someone who is so perfect.

And well, God can't disappoint.

[kame-writes]

The heavenly Seraphim (Hazbin Hotel - Azrael!Alastor AU)

Card boarder made by StaticStarDoll

Info on all the Seraphim (Including Sera and Emily) below

Sera: The high Seraphim

Female presenting she/her

Sera is the Seraphim who deals with most matters regarding the running of heaven. She precides over the Angelic council which handles most of the rules and guidelines citizens must follow.

She often has the final say if the Senate of Seraphims can not reach a majority decision.

She is also the authority that all human souls must answer to, and runs the main city where they precide.

Emily: The Seraphim of Joy

Female presenting she/her

Emily's job is to make sure all heavenly human souls are happy and content. She is the one who spends most of her time with Winners, talking and trying to make sure every soul sees her as a friend. They can trust her to always have their best interests at heart.

She works closely with both Rapheal and Sera, acting as a liaison between the human souls, heavenborn, and the seraphim. She passes on any concerns that people may have and suggests ways to improve their lives.

Micheal: The sword of Heaven

Male presenting he/him

Micheal was the Seraphim who was closest to Lucifer, the two being inseparable until the creation of Edan took Lucifers full attention.

He was the one who personally enforced Lucifers exile, casting him out for betraying heaven for the sake of humans. Because of this, he has a huge chip on his shoulder when it comes to any mention of Luicfer.

Feeling scorned and betrayed on a far more personal level than any other member of the heavenly host, his pride and temper make him very biased when it comes to matters of Lucifer's realm and people.

He is very protective of heaven, intending to make sure another event like the one that released evil onto the world never occurs again.

He is the leader of heaven's official army, maintaining the safety and protection of all heavenborn and human souls under their jurisdiction.

Raphael: The healer

Male presenting he/him

Raphael is responsible for keeping all citizens of Heaven healthy and cared for. He works closely with Emily to make sure everyone receives any help they may need.

Even the virtuous souls of Hevean have things from their life that may weigh on their soul, and he ensures they have a safe space and the tools to come to terms with difficult situations and memories.

He is also in charge of the cherubim and guardian angels, making him one of the only ones who can permit heavenborn under him to visit the living world.

C.H.E.R.U.B. had permission from him to conduct their buisness. They were only permitted to vist souls that were destined for hell, to give them a second chance to turn their lives around and join their loved ones in Heaven. He was devastated by what happened with them.

Gabriel: The messenger

Genderfluid - presents differently depending on mood he/they/she

Gabriel is the only Seraphim who is allowed to appear directly to humans in the living world. He is also the one who blesses humans and steers important people on the right track.

He works closely with Uriel, who directs him to people who are destined to achieve greatness, but may may need a guiding hand to achieve it.

He is in constant vigil over humanity, able to sense both the most currupt, and most pure souls.

Of all the Seraphim, he is the one who has embraced human culture the most. Fascinated by the advancements they've made, and the creative solutions they come up with.

Unlike the majority of the Seraphim, Gabriel is of the opinion that evil has just as much a place in humanity as good does, that darkness is needed to emphasize the light. He often weighs the pros and cons of any situation, being one of the least biased of the heavenly host, and always willing to hear and weigh both sides of an argument.

Uriel: The eyes of heaven

Non binary they/them

Uriel very rarely interacts with heavenborn or human souls, keeping to themselves and mostly communicating only with their fellow Seraphim.

They are able to read the stars for prophecies, spending most of their time studying their movements and patterns.

Their prophecies and premonitions are something even they don't fully understand.

Though they can deliberately see into the future for certain events by entering a trance like state, it is not guaranteed for them to be successful if they try to force it.

Most of their visions are for humanity, of events that will shape them. They pass these onto Gabriel, who ensures that they happen as they've been fortold.

Their gift is one of the only reliable sources for what God intends to happen. Though they are often vauge and up for interpretation.

Their main priorities is in shaping humanity into what God designed them for. Not taking as much interest in the heavenborn, but in the human souls that make it both to heaven and hell.

On extremely rare occasions, they will get a premonition about Hell. Because of this, they are one of the few Seraphim that will contact Azrael to communicate their concerns.

They are very patient, non confrontational, and happy in their own solitude. Despite this, they have a talent for mediating disputes between the other Seraphim in a fair and calm way, not liking seeing them fighting amongst themselves.

Azrael: The unbound

Male presenting he/him

Also known as the Angel of death, mostly among human souls.

Azraels job is to maintain purgatory, a liminal realm between living and death. All the roads Souls must walk to be sorted into their respective afterlives reside in his domain.

The whole situation is mostly automated, but he is required to interfere the rare tomes when a restless soul tries to resist their chosen path.

Purgatory is also a place for souls who have no place in either heaven or hell. He is able to drag souls to this realm himself, which he does as a form of exile.

Not being bound to heaven, Hell, or the living world, he is able to freely travel between them at his leisure. Despite this, he does not appear as himself to living humans, often being completely unseen by them. On the rare occasion he's made contact with a living soul, he has to don a mortal disguise.

Lucifer: The dreamer The fallen

Male presenting he/him

Most commonly referred to as the morning star. He was previously referred to as 'heaven's brightest' and 'The light of heaven'.

Lucifer was a visionary in heaven, blessed with unlimited creativity and the power to manifest the beautiful things in his mind.

When Edan was created, he became infatuated with this brand new world and life that resided there. Despite warnings from his fellow Seraphim to not get too involved, none of which was louder than Micheal, Lucifer would often visit the first humans in the garden.

Lucifers relationship with the humans was taboo even before his exile. He was blamed for why Adam and Lilith had such a rift between then, despite him only becoming involved with Lilith after seeing how unhappy she was.

Despite his exile, he is still considered a Seraphim, and has a seat in the Senate that remains empty, as a reminder to them all that even Seraphim are not above repercussions for their actions.

Because of his calm and fair demeanour, he is unofficially recognised as the second most authoritative Seraphim after Sera, a fact that Michael resents, feeling like that role should go to him.

[redbleedingrose]

How do you think girl dad Eris would react when the twins start dating?

I get this question in my asks all the time! So I am putting the answer out there for y’all, so the debate can be put to rest.

when you and girl dad!Eris are meeting the people the twins start to date:

- Eris would be so much more calm and composed than you. You would be freaking out on the inside because these are your precious girls who deserve all the best the world has to offer them.

- so yes, you would be the parent staring down their partner with your arms crossed over your chest, while your mate sits beside you, very much so amused by your overprotectiveness, his arm around your shoulder, stroking up and down your arm to help relax you the tiniest bit. The girls would be sending pleading looks over to their papa, and he would probably just smirk and shrug, because he is not gonna stand in your way. His high ladies way.

-Eris knows that he has taught his girls that they should only receive princess treatment. They have grown up seeing the way he treats you, and he knows that Marwa and Twila would find that if there partner were treating them any less than how Eris treats you, it would never really work out. They want the kind of love that you and Eris have, I mean, who wouldn’t?

-They have been raised to be strong, capable young women and by the time they start dating, Eris has complete trust in their judgement when it comes to finding partners. Eris really only gets overprotective when he feels like their partner is not living up to the standard of love and care he expects for his girls. He may have his spies conduct a couple of background checks on their partners, and so long as nothing comes up, he tries to keep an open mind for his girls. He, ultimately, wants for them to be happy and to be loved.

-And, again, usually, you are the one who is more protective and outright with your “suggestions” towards potential partners, which may or may not be threats, you will never confirm or deny such allegations from your girls.

-Eris is only there to make sure that potential partners make it out alive from under your scrutiny, but he is def tossing you in bed after the girls leave for their dates so he can have his way with you. Because you are the sexiest, strongest, most overprotective, incredible mother he has ever met. And he cannot imagine having this perfect life with anyone else.

Edit:

- I also think he tries to be really supportive of his babes. He really wants them to explore themselves and find happiness like he has. He wants to give them a safe space to do that! He will always be the kind of parent his girls can come to no matter what. Their safety is his number one priority, and so he tries to maintain a constant line of open communication between him and the twins.

-I think while it may take time for you to warm up, Eris tries to be accepting when he sees that Marwa or Twila is happy with their respective partners. So while you are giving them side eye and pursing your lips at every statement of their partners, Eris is peering over your shoulder at the girls who are quite exasperated by their mothers fierce protectiveness, and will send them a swift thumbs up and the smallest of nods.

-Mother forbid you catch him in the act. He does not like being under your glare. He gets squirmy and uncomfortable tbh, it is very funny to watch. Your eyes say a million things (mostly that you are not letting him touch you tonight) while you stay silently judging your male for his quick approval of their partner.

-Your overprotectiveness does make for awkward family dinners, but also, it makes for very, very hot sex with Eris.

-So ultimately, you win? He wins? Hot sex wins?

So, yes, that is how I think Girl Dad!Eris would be when the twins start dating <3

[httpstes]

The beauty each sign holds Pt.1

(Aries-Virgo)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *✧

ꕥ Aries placements are electric and fiery in the way they approach life. They’re ecstatic nature is shown to all quite easily however it is only once you’re in a deep connection with these individuals that you are able to see beyond the surface. You are able to see beyond their spontaneous fun-loving nature. Deep down Aries placements stay loyal to those they consider their loved ones, and so as such, once you have an Aries placement who loves you, they won’t leave. Sure there can be banters and lively disputes along the way, but an Aries can get over these things as fast as they came. Therefore they don’t hold onto the past. They understand that regret, guilt and grief may not ever fade away, and so the only thing they can really do is keep moving forward. The only moment that is important to them is the here and now, so they like to cherish every second of it before it soon becomes a memory. This is why these people hold so much beauty. They have the ability to let go, move on, and continue with life, all the while striving for exciting moments that thrill them.

ꕥ Taurus placements are unmoving yet beautiful. They are the standing rock blocking the rivers path that won’t cease to move. They hold the natural beauty you see in the world. Mother earths living embodiment of nature and peace. These individuals can make you feel so safe and relaxed, you won’t even know that their spell is being undone upon you. Taurus placements hold this elegant poise with the way they walk. Their physical being entices others to come be around them, they let the world know they are a safe space for those that aren’t so lucky. It’s in the way they speak to you, how they care for you and love you that these individuals shine. Taurus placements will go to the ends of the earth for their loved ones, however in saying this they wont just drop everything then and there. These individuals know their worth and won’t waste their time on someone who doesn’t appreciate them. This is what I truly find beautiful about them. The fact that they are able to love and give so much to others while also maintaining boundaries and loving themselves equally is something a lot of people struggle with. Taurus placements might start off in life dealing with people who use them for things, who take advantage of their kindness. However as taurus placements grow they learn how to give to others as well as giving back to themselves. These individuals have learnt the balance between self-love and their love to the world, and because of this they won’t settle for something that they know is not good for them.

ꕥ Gemini placements contradict themselves over and over again. This can cause an internal struggle especially in terms of opinions and beliefs however I believe this is something extremely useful. Gemini placements get bored, they want to try everything possible that’s offered to them in this life time. They are here simply to learn, explore and understand. Their curious nature is what I find beautiful in Gemini placements. Geminis need constant stimulation in everything. In love, school, work, you name it! They like when things are entertaining and if no one is entertaining them, they’re gonna entertain themselves. I really dislike when people call Geminis flaky or cheaters. This really narrows down the beautiful and youthful spirit these individuals have. Geminis are so much more than those negative archetypes. They hold so much intelligence and wisdom of the most random things and it’s so cute. I love hearing these people ramble, reading their well written stories, the jokes they crack at the most unfortunate of times, i simply love taking in anything that they produce. This is because it gives me the slightest glimpse into the mind of these individuals. A gemini’s mind can be..all sorts of things, it can be super dark at times while other times they’re brainstorming the next best thing. Either way their minds deserve to be treasured, obviously by those that can handle it. Many assume gemini placements are complex, this is true, however there is so much beauty and grace that is held within that complexity.

ꕥ Cancer placements are so so sweet. Truly divine beings full of love. They came here to nurture and heal those who felt unsafe in their homes, who weren’t accepted or welcomed. Cancerians don’t just care for you, they notice every little thing about you and they treasure it. Every small detail, they will remember. This is because cancerians strongest emotions come from nostalgia and love, and so when you’re considered a loved one to these individuals, just know you have won in life as you will never meet someone more devoted than them. Stereotypes lead people to believe that cancers are the literal personification of the word saccharine. A individual who is sickeningly sweet, over-emotional, and overly sentimental. While what I explained denotes cancerians as sentimental and loving, they don’t do it without reason. Something that I believe is overlooked is that cancers are symbolised by the crab. A animal with a hard shell, said to be a symbol of defence, having the ability to be resilient and valiant. Though cancerians are beautiful delicate beings, there is this heroism that is naturally in their nature. Because of this they are attracted to the darker apsects of life. They want to save and heal those around them by defending them endlessly even if it’s wrong. They’re loyalty is almost comparable to a martian ruled individual’s idea of loyalty. They have this soft, cunning nature about them that effortlessly captivates those in their presence, and yet they also have so much will to fight and protect themselves and their loved ones. I am enamoured with a cancerians ability to know when to fight and when to nurture and love. They do this unknowingly as everything they do is lead by intuition, and for some reason this makes me love them more.

ꕥ Leo placements are born into this world adorned with jewels and gold. It does not matter if they experienced the limelight at a young age or if they had their light dimmed by those around them, it always comes to them no matter what. Leos are faithful to a fault. The luminaries are considered to be loyal, this of course goes for Solarian beings too. Leos are loyal to their family, their friends, their beliefs and morals, and most importantly, themselves. Leos can expect attention from all walks of life. They make heads turn walking down the street, entering a store, buying groceries, and waiting for a bus. Anything these individuals do, whether simple or extravagant, subconsciously take the attention away from what they’re doing, and onto them. Because of this, people are either enamored with or envy leo individuals. Some may wonder why they have it so easy, why they can easily charm those around them with little to no effort. But don’t be fooled by this facade some of them have built up. Behind closed doors, Leos are finally able to be free from the spotlight that follows them around. With the admiration leos receive, people may put them on such a high pedestal that they invalidate some of the terrible experiences leo placements have gone through because "it simply can’t be that bad" considering how beautiful and powerful these beings are. Leos have big hearts, and so they don’t have it in them to harshly explain some of the faults being glorified to such an extent can have on one’s mental health. I truly adore Leo placements but I understand that they don’t have it as easy as it is made out to seem. They are the sun, the light in people's lives, and if the sun's light were to dim or disappear so does all life around them. The sun may shine forever, but it does not mean it doesn’t ever get tired from the multiple aspects of life they have to entertain and keep alive. I feel for Leo placements with all the expectations and praise put upon them.

ꕥ Virgo placements are the nimble fairies of the earth. They guide those who are lost in this vast forest of a world we live in. Virgos live to serve others, they truly are humble beings who are unselfish and this overlooked fact is what makes them so much more pleasant to be around. Not only are they humble but they are so precise in everything they do! Virgos truly are the people you want to go to for whenever you need help in any matter or situation, because regardless if they’re nervous or not, they will put up a front to make sure those around them feel safe and secure. In saying this everything they do for their loved ones is done with so much love and thought. When they are asked of something, they put all their attention to it and have the precision of a doctor, wanting to make sure that what they’re doing is beyond your expectations. In fact there is this almost melancholic beauty within the way they hold themselves and the judgement they whole heartedly pursue for not only others but for themselves as well. Virgos are quick thinkers and can be very methodical, however in saying this, I think it’s safe to say these individuals can be stuck in their heads sometimes. They may find comfortability in the space they have created within their own minds, though when things turn south this space they have created could easily turn against them. Their own mind will turn against them. Because of this, Virgos tend to have this quick, nervous energy. However even this aspect of them is so, so endearing.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The second part is not coming out any time soon but i’m working on it! As always thankyou for reading :D

[actual-changeling]

Do you think Aziraphale has been verbally, emotionally and psychologically abused by Heaven as well?

I will answer this question like one asked in good faith even though my gut is telling me there's a 50/50 chance it is very much not one.

So!

There are two parts to his answer, or rather one question is actually two.

Firstly, we have to talk about whether heaven is abusive, what that abuse looks like, and how it differs from hell.

Secondly, how did the results of question one affect Aziraphale, if it is different from what the other angels in heaven face, and what additional trauma might he have experienced due to being on earth.

I could write a 10k meta post about this and go into the finest detail, but I will just try and stick to the main points for now. It's still going to be way too long because I am so fucking tired of people accusing me of 'hating' Aziraphale or harassing me on my posts or in my inbox.

Is heaven abusive? Yes, and it applies to both heaven as an institution and the Archangels running it.

Getting to know Muriel and what their life looks like was extremely helpful in properly defining this, because they showed us that although the Archangels tend to travel and work as a group, most of the angels are incredibly isolated.

The result is complete emotional neglect, which not only impairs your ability to form and maintain healthy relationships with other people, it also stops your from learning emotional regulation and how to behave and feel as a part of (angelic) society. We see the consequences of that in Muriel, who comes across as overly naive, socially awkward, and out of touch with not just people but themselves.

When your entire life has been shrunk down to what happens inside your own head, suddenly being confronted with having to live outside of your mind is jarring, overwhelming, and foreign.

How do you talk to people when no one ever taught you how to do that? How do you behave around someone after a lifetime of being alone? How do your regulate your responses to their behaviour?

Who are you when there is someone else to perceive you?

Figuring that out is complicated and it takes time, and while most of the angels are only distantly aware of how humans live and what kind of interactions some of the other angels might have, the effects of that neglect stay the same whether they are aware of it or not.

Muriel shows us that angels are not born/made as a blank slate, and neither are humans for that matter. Tabula rasa as a philosophical belief is one thing, but reality is very, very different.

Angels also appear to have the same inherent need for connection, for a caretaker that loves them unconditionally, for someone to help them figure out how to be, and that provides a safe space to make mistakes. Without some or all of that, you grow up into a disregulated, socially awkward if not inept person who does not know how to have relationships or how to properly exist.

It is one of the reasons why autistic people are a) almost always traumatized to some degree and b) do not know how to socialize. No one ever works with our brains, and the resulting neglect is very similar to not receiving any help at all.

If you are now curious what happens if you're both autistic and were completely socially neglected, the result is uh. me. Hi! Not nice, but at least I am very sure I win the award for being my therapist's most fucked up client, so that's something.

Yet the angels are not solely emotionally neglected, the system/household they live in demands a low self-esteem, a lack of individual identity, and complete adherence to a defined ideology and behavioural pattern. In short, you are told how to be a useless, tiny part in a bigger machine, that your only purpose is to succeed at your tasks, and any opportunity for individual development is removed or destroyed.

If you are now once again curious what that might be like, uh, yeah, hi once more. Obviously my childhood was not exactly like an angels life, but the core characteristics were the same, just realized differently. Again, not pretty, really, really fucks you over.

Take that and the neglect, combine it into one person, and then drop them in the Garden of Eden—hello Aziraphale! Crowley got dropped into hell first, experienced more abuse, and then dug his way up into Eden before joining him.

Aziraphale experienced everything Muriel (and Crowley, and every other celestial being) also experienced, with one main difference: He is the one who got away.

We have to remember that out of every single celestial being, Aziraphale got the best deal. He did not fall, he got out of heaven (more or less) permanently, and was then largely left alone.

Does that erase anything I laid out above? No, of course not!

It simply provided him with the opportunity to heal, to take his cPTSD and who knows what other disorders he developed as a result, and start recovering.

Canonically, heaven did not bother him, like, ever, except for the odd note about 'frivolous miracles' or ten minutes of catching up every millennia. They only started monitoring him once they started to suspect he was involved with Crowley and trying to stop the apocalypse from happening.

Aziraphale worked on some things, he got better in many regards, especially with Crowley there to support him, but after six thousand years, many aspects have stayed the same or regressed back to the start over and over.

I will tell you a hard pill to swallow now: If you refuse to acknowledge your issues to instead live in a world of nicer denial and compartmentalization even when you have been offered the chance to change it, that is partly on YOU.

Is it fair? Fuck no! It's not fair at all, and I have had so many breakdowns over that fact. I did not break it, this is not my FAULT so why should I have to fix it all on my own? Why do I have to do the work, not them? How come they get away with it while I am going to have to carry this for the rest of my life?

I still have to do it though. I have to do the work, no matter how uncomfortable and exhausting, because I want to get better.

-

This conversation has so many facets and is a lot more complex, but this is already long enough, so if you have any questions or want to know something specific (while asking politely and in good faith) just send me an ask; I will do my best to answer it.

-

We are now only missing the last part of question 2, and that one is also so fucking complicated reducing it to the main points almost feels wrong, but I will do it anyway. Again, just ask if you have questions.

Abusive households are horrible, and you want to get out and away, but they are also the only thing you know. The world is scary, too big, too open, where did all the rules go that were previously defining your life?

Surviving in an abusive environment means you establish routine after routine after routine for every possible horrible scenario, you write a mental rule book to try and reduce the abuse (don't make them angry, don't cry when they're already shouting, don't do this, don't do that, do x but not y), and THAT is your socialization. THAT is everything you know, everything you are, everything you know relationships to be like.

Once you are away from that, you are completely and utterly lost. Even breathing feels like making a mistake, you feel watched, judged, rated, berated, you have them stuck in your fucking head. So you keep sticking to what you know, your behavioural patterns that have kept you safe your entire life.

The problem is that they kept you safe, past tense. In a healthy environment, all of those coping mechanisms are now maladaptive and harm you instead of keeping you safe.

However, breaking out of them and starting from scratch is terrifying. So, so, so terrifying. I live in constant fear, I feel judged and unsafe in my own flat with the curtains shut and the lights on. I feel like I am about to get subjected to another one of his fits for daring to use the stove.

No matter what you do, your body and brain are SCREAMING at you that diverging from what you know will kill you—and then you have to do it anyway.

Do it alone and afraid and awkwardly but DO IT. Otherwise you will always find a way to recreate the environment you grew up in, whether that is people getting into unhealthy relationships and replicating the patterns they know (which Aziraphale does with Crowley, e.g. the push-pull of his affection) or eventually even returning to it because they ruined you, but a part of you is so, so attached to them you just have to try and change them.

Some people can move on from it without going back, but sometimes you need to try and experience that failure for yourself before being able to move on, and that's where Aziraphale is at.

He needs to try and fail to be capable of finally committing to recovering.

So, to summarize this entire shitshow: Yes, Aziraphale experienced emotional neglect and abuse, and while it is different to what Crowley went through and objectively less intense and physical, it is still just as valid and horrid.

Just because a car accident is objectively worse than falling off a bike doesn't mean the biker's pain is unimportant. Both can kill you, both can hurt you, and both deserve to get their injuries treated.

Questions?

[nonstandardrepertoire]

as a Jewish transsexual, the Jewish ethno-nationalist¹ sales pitch has always left me cold.² over and over again, i've heard people plugging the State of Israel offer some form of the following: "history teaches that we can never fully trust non-Jews with political power to protect Jews; the only way to make sure Jewish people are always safe is to create and maintain a state where Jewish people have the political power, so we can look out for ourselves"

but the thing is, the worst transphobic harassment i've experienced in my life has come from Jews. i don't think this says anything about the relative transphobia of Jews vs non-Jews, anymore than the fact that most of my birthday presents come from New Yorkers says anything about the relative generosity of Californians, but still. the people who followed me out of the subway filming me while yelling transphobic abuse were Jewish. two of the most relentless boosters of the current wave of transphobia in the US — Ben Shapiro and Chaya Raichik — are Jewish. i should be safe in a state run by such people?

and the obvious response is to say that, well, this is about keeping me safe as a Jew, not necessarily as an anything else. it's a bulwark against anti-Jewish violence, not every other -ism under the sun.³ but the thing is, i'm not a potato-head person. you can't just snap off the trans part of me and the Jewish part of me and say the latter part is safe even when the first isn't. i'm 100% Jewish and 100% trans; if i'm not safe as a transsexual, i'm not safe as a Jew. and if i'm going to be having to fight transphobia anyway, what difference does it make if the people passing bills stripping my rights are Jews or not?⁴

if you really lean into the logic at play here — "no one outside a vulnerable demographic can be trusted to care about people in that demographic" — it's easy to wind up in absurdity. because if i can't trust goyim to have my back as a Jew and also can't trust cis people to have my back as a transsexual, perhaps i need a state run by and for Jewish transsexuals. but wait! white Jewish transsexuals are certainly regularly horrible to, eg, Black Jewish transsexuals, so we probably shouldn't be in the same state together, to say nothing of separating out the poor, the disabled, those without college degrees . . . and before you know it, you're committed to the idea that the only just world is one where we're each a state unto ourselves, perfectly safe in absolute isolation from one another — no society, no coming together across difference to lighten the burden of living, just infinite atomization, the perfect unending unwinnable war of all against all

and this, i think, reveals the fundamental futility of the project. as a transsexual, i don't think my safety will ultimately come from removing myself from people not like me. safety, i think, comes not from cutting ties, but from building them. i will only really be safe in a society that accepts difference, multiplicity, strangeness, variety. i will only be truly safe in a society where we come together — across the gulfs that separate us — to take care of one another

i think there are illuminating parallels with feminist/lesbian separatism here. in its most extreme versions, such separatism abandons the demand that women be safe around men and instead attempts the task of building a space without men for women to inhabit. similarly, it seems to me that Jewish ethno-nationalism abandons the demand that Jewish people be safe around goyim and instead attempts to build a space without goyim for Jewish people to inhabit.⁵ i think Jews can and must be safe among goyim. i think women can and must be safe among men. i think trans people can and must be safe among cis people. that is the kind of world i am committed to fighting for, not one where we give in to fear and retreat into gardens walled by suspicion and hostility⁶

i'm not going to pretend that that's an easy world to build.⁷ i'm not going to pretend i can point to a bunch of stable, just, pluralistic societies and go "eh, just do what they did!" (altho there's no shortage of societies i can point to that went the "this place is for us and only us" route and wound up producing dystopian nightmares⁸). i'm not even going to pretend that i think building a just world from where we are now is inevitable, or even that i always think it is possible. there are days it is very hard to believe. but i always think it's worth striving for. if a just world that guarantees a good life to all isn't worth striving for, what is? if we are to suffer defeat, let it be a slow defeat, a long defeat, a fighting defeat. i am not willing to give up on my neighbors. i am not willing to abandon the charge of seeking the good for those not like me. i am not willing to abandon the hope that will seek the good for me despite my strangeness to them. and i reject any philosophy or politics that asks me to do so

_________________________________________________

¹i'm using "Jewish ethno-nationalist" here because i think it's been subject to less semantic dilution than "Zionist", and i want to avoid semantic arguments here as much as possible. whatever prescriptivist arguments you want to marshal that this or that term should mean X, i think it's clear that the descriptivist ship has long since set sail when it comes to "Zionism". (when pushed for specifics, i've seen self-professed Zionists and anti-Zionists outline essentially identical political programs, which certainly makes it seem to me that these terms are of minimal utility at best)

²obviously, what's happening on the ground is very bad. but critiquing what's happening on the ground often runs into severe questions of evidential reliability and can also leave the impression that Jewish ethno-nationalism is a good idea implemented badly, which is why i want to take aim at this level here

³given the European origins of this movement in its modern incarnation, i think it's unsurprising who gets imagined as "just a Jew" and not any other marked category. and from there, i think it's also unsurprising (if depressing) how various Jews who do exist in other marked categories have been and are treated by the "Jewish State" — the promised safety turns out to be predicated on all the usual axes of whiteness, wealth, ability, and so on

⁴indeed, i have often found that groups predicated on the idea that "we're all in alignment here" are often much more resistant to acknowledging members' various bigotries than groups not predicated on that assumption

⁵and, similarly, this attempt to cleave the world along one axis of hierarchy invariably reveals the inadequacy of one-identity-only frameworks for tackling the full complexity of the world. among other things, feminist/lesbian separatism has come under sustained critique from Black feminists like Barbara Smith for sundering ties of solidarity that are critical for fighting racism. victimhood and oppression are not fixed, ontological states, but fluid, shifting, contextual relationships. we cannot undo the snarlingly intertwined systems of oppression by replicating them in miniature

⁶the fear is certainly a real emotion; it is one i have felt at times myself. sometimes it is even based on an accurate perception of the world! but also: sometimes not. my fear of kitchen knives spontaneously levitating and flying around the room certainly feels real to me, but it's not a thing that can actually happen. one of the really hard things to do in the world, i've found, is parsing out the fears that are just feelings i'm having from the fears that tell me actual actionable information about the world and then striking a livable balance between reasonable precaution and paranoia. precautions against danger often come with their own set of risks: locking a door to keep out potential thieves ups the odds of being trapped in a building fire; using a different complex password for every site raises the risk of forgetting one and having a critical account shut down; the medications that drastically cut the frequency of debilitating migraines can raise the likelihood of other adverse health effects. more broadly, viewing neighbors with suspicion, fear, and distrust has a corrosive effect on the social fabric, and makes it harder to structure society to make sure everyone has food, clothes, housing, healthcare — all the things a society is supposed to do. (it's hard to convince people to take care of people they're afraid of, especially if they believe (rightly or wrongly) that they will have to give up something they care about (usually money, but also convenience, prestige, power) for that to happen.) and that corrosive effect can get very extreme — when fascism wants to recruit you to its cause, the sales pitch is usually less "hey, do you want to unleash horrific violence against those folks over there?" and more "hey, aren't you tired of being ~afraid~? don't you want to feel ~safe~? isn't it about time you had all the wealth, respect, and power that's rightfully yours and that's been kept from you for so long?". fear isn't the only way that horrors get unleashed, but it's a very potent one. (i don't think there's a formula for striking the right balance here. as with so many balancing acts, too much comes down to context and the specifics of all those involved, not least because the scale and nature of threats can vary so wildly. i believe that everyone deserves to be safe (insofar as any of us mostly hairless apes clinging to a thin crust of dirt on an iron ball whirling thru the cosmic void around a sphere of nuclear fire can be safe from loss, grief, accident, disaster, or misfortune...), but being and feeling are different matters, and pursuing the feeling of safety without limit can easily lead to logics of annihilation.) (and indeed, i am not the first to be struck by the fact that in many ways it is in the interests of the State of Israel, as a state, if Jews feel unsafe in the rest of the world, because that feeling of unsafety is so easily leveraged to both increase political support for the State of Israel and encourage Jewish people to leave the Diaspora and move to the State of Israel. which, unnervingly, is where you sometimes find the State of Israel and its agents taking the position that Jews don't belong anywhere that isn't the immediate environs of Jerusalem, a position that is ultimately indistinguishable from any number of dime-store Judeophobias)

⁷indeed, i think this is one of many places where it's easier to identify the problem than it is to solve it. many middle schoolers can explain the problem of Fermat's Last Theorem; barely a handful of professional mathematicians in the world could explain the proof. my cat can figure out how to break a vase even tho he can't reliably find a toy he's just been playing with when he's sitting directly on top of it (it's fine, he doesn't follow me on here, i can say that about him); in some cases, a skilled artisan can repair the vase so it functions again; no one in the world can turn back time so that the vase was never broken to begin with. it's easy to invent chessboard solutions to entrenched societal conflicts — move this border here, enact this constitution there, change this societal attitude for all involved, and hey presto!, utopia. but the world is not a game of chess. education, advocacy, activism, political organization, even wildcat direct action — these are all slow, effortful, uncertain processes, and everyone with a different vision of the future is also exercising their agency to change the course of events. i think societies are easy to break and hard to repair. in many cases, i don't really know how we go from here, the real world as it actually is with all its shattered bones and aching wounds and long-festering resentments, to there, a world of true justice. but i think it's worth trying. i think it's worth imagining. i hope you do too

⁸like, idk what even to say if "Germany for the Germans" doesn't set off alarm bells. even if they raised up a brand new continent from the ocean floor, i still think i'd be wary of the political project of building a ~Jewish state for the Jews~. i don't trust nationalism of any flavor. i think the Diasporic notion of feeling kinship with and responsibility for people all around the world regardless of borders, flags, kings, bureaucracies is beautiful and worth cherishing and protecting. i don't dream of finally being on top of the hierarchy; i dream of there not being a hierarchy to begin with

[impatient14]

Thinking about how I've always wondered if they knew after Runaway Bride and Martha's arc that the best thing for 10 would be a platonic soulmate, someone who wouldn't be dazzled by his charm and would call him out on his shit, but also love him so much they couldn't imagine their future without him. My favorite trope is the slow burn, platonic BFF to lovers, but if they would have gone that route with 10 and Donna, I would have been absolutely crushed. I wonder if they knew what they had with 10 and Donna, if they knew it was a safe casting when it comes to romantic undertones. David and Catherine's chemistry is so unique. They portray genuine love and devotion without the threat of romance creeping in. It's something you don't often see in characters who aren't related. It feels like there's always a little twinge of a "will they, won't they" scenario. And with 10 and Donna, it felt like a disservice to ship them together. I'm not disparaging the people who did, because everyone has the right to interpret their relationship in any way they want, but their platonic soulmate vibe was so personal to me.

(Because it seems like no matter what I do, I cannot maintain a friendship with a (single) straight man or queer woman (like me) without that twinge of romance creeping in, and it is rarely from my side. I say that not to boast or stroke my ego, but because it is the genuine truth. I'm actually in the middle of that right now. I have a long-distance colleague that I have so much in common with and the relationship crept into the friendship territory pretty quickly. It was established before that friendship started that I was unavailable and uninterested in anything other than a professional or platonic relationship, and he seemed to totally accept that. He didn't flirt. No innuendos. He even started talking to me about his dates. At times I thought I sensed a vibe on his side, but there was nothing I could point to directly that would explain it, so I chalked it up to narcissism and trusted him. However, we finally met at a conference after about 3 months or so of our acquaintance and growing friendship, and being in the same space, his body language and general disposition made it crystal clear that he harbored feeling for me. He did not try anything directly or say anything that crossed the line, but I am confident he has feelings for me. Now, if he maintained our professional and platonic relationship without letting his feelings get in the way, I wouldn't cut off the relationship necessarily. It isn't his fault that he developed feelings, and if he continued to respect my feelings and not address those feelings directly to me, I would not hold anything against him. I'd be more careful about my own behavior and make sure those boundaries were always clearly defined, but I'd try to maintain our relationship.

However, after we met, it seemed like as soon as he realized he really didn't have a chance, he didn't see any value in my friendship. We have a lot in common professionally, joke a lot, and just generally get along pretty well (though his ego is *insane* and he has the emotional maturity of a toddler). I felt like we were developing a really great foundation for friendship, but apparently not. If he feels like he needed to distance himself to get over what he's feeling, that's fair. I can respect that. But it's so frustrating and isolating to feel like the only thing you have to offer is romance. It actually breaks my heart.)

So (getting back to Doctor Who) to see a real platonic friendship between people whose sexuality preferences align is so special to me. And to have the privilege to see that relationship continue with 14? It really was such a gift.

[rainbowdaisy13]

It's so annoying when I still see many Gaylors say 'Taylor can't come out because her fandom is more homophobic than fandom of other artists' WITHOUT mentioning that SHE contributed to this. If so many homophobes like you and fell welcomed in your fandom, well maybe you're doing something wrong. All her adult life she pandered and coddled her homophobic fans by giving them ammunition against Gaylors, when Gaylors were appreciating her art and believing her lies. No, she had to take parts of queer history and let her straight homophobic fans bully her gay fans because she has too much internalized homophobia to allow gay talk to get too loud. She did all this as an adult! - I don't care what parents think or say, your actions as an adult are your responsibility.

Even if something you said got misconstrued, how hard is it to say 'hey don't attack these folks, this type of discourse doesn't bother me, analyze my lyrics in your own way and come to your own conclusions, don't harass or doxx and out anyone in my name. Speculating someone is gay isn't offensive because being gay isn't an insult". But no, because I'm 100% sure that if nothing else, at least in her subconscious being gay IS an insult. She gave these homophobes a safe space in her fandom and it's infuriating when I see so many Gaylors just say her fandom is homophobic but not point out that it is that way because she panders to these people. ESPECIALLY these last year. She knew what that NFL fandom was and yet she wanted to attract them. Why? Because indirectly she didn't only show us she was gay. Through her actions, she's also showing us she hates it and would do anything to cover it up to preserve her status and this homophoic fanbase she never calls out.

It would even be strange to now make an expose blaming these fans for her staying closeted, when she did everything she could to maintain the fantasy for them. 'The 1950s shit they want from me' is so hypocritical. She is the one feeding these narratives of marriage and traditional family values to the press for herself, for her 'cover'. Those lyrics alone out her as a covert narcissist. She's making herself the victim in a situation she created. No, the fans don't want shit. YOU are crafting these narratives, and people who like it, flock to you. These are the expectations you put in place for yourself. And you made your fans scared of questioning things because they see how Gaylors are treated when they dare to think outside the box about your 'art'.

It's atrocious to compare her to Evelyn Hugo as well. It was illegal to be gay when the book happens and Evelyn didn't act like a victim. She knew she was a product of her design and she owned it, mistakes and all.

The never owning a god damn thing is what has broken my mental chains so to speak—I would not put up with this kind of behavior from any other artist—meaning I wouldn’t support them/give them money/defend their actions—so why the fuck was I doing this with Taylor?

[oceansprompts]

adjust pronouns, names, and details as needed… assorted quotes taken from marvel ultimate alliance 3: the black order. part 2 of ???

❝ Your pocket is not safe place, space-bro.❞

❝ Really?! Come on, man, I only to make speeches like that once, twice a year tops! ❞

❝  That may be true, but a war is won by fighting one battle at a time. ❞

❝ As long as we have each other's backs along the way, victory will stay without reach. ❞

❝ I have seen my fair share of dark futures. What I have learned is that no fate is sealed until we choose it to be. ❞

❝ If the ending you saw is not the one you desire, then we will fight for a better one together! ❞

❝ Took you long enough. Good thing I charge by the hour... ❞

❝ Just look for the ancient ninja temple of top of a skyscraper. You can't miss it. ❞

❝ Oh, you know me. I just love this superhero stuff… ❞

❝ Oh, did I mention that the ancient ninja temple is guarded by actual ninjas? If not, I probably should've… ❞

❝ Whatever it is, they're sneaky little jerks. So watch out! ❞

❝ Stick to the shadows or you'll never make it to the temple… at least not in one piece. ❞

❝ Way to go. You've been made. Why not just announce you're here? ❞

❝ You don't really seem like the "super-team" type... ❞

❝ Oh, I'm not. Spandex is my arch-nemesis. ❞

❝ Someone's gotta keep the streets safe for normal people while all the other heroes are busy fighting giant squids on the moon or whatever. ❞

❝ You gonna tell me how you got through all that without gettin' caught? ❞

❝ Nope. Gotta keep the mystery in our relationship alive somehow, babe. ❞

❝ The soul is eternal, but the flesh is weak. Allow me to show you, as I rend it from your bones! ❞

❝ After all, I make killing an art. ❞

❝ Do me a favor and die already. ❞

❝ I have a reputation to maintain! ❞

❝  Heh. You think you won, but you really missed the mark. ❞

❝ When the big man gets done with you... you're gonna wish you'd let me put outta your misery. ❞

❝ I'm no defender of the innocent. What use could you heroes possibly have for an assassin? ❞

❝ Why so glum, chum? ❞

❝ All of this is so much bigger than us. I mean, I can barely do my own laundry. Stopping cosmic annihilation is a bit outside my comfort zone. ❞

❝ Sure. At least for today. Go ahead. Say it. You know you want to. ❞

❝ Avengers Assemble, baby! ❞

❝ You are such a nerd. ❞

❝ Which leads me to an extremely important question... Can I keep 'em? ❞

❝ Suddenly less worried about external threats and more concerned about the ones in here. ❞

❝ You bet. Not even a ripped seam. Which is a good thing, because I just spent a fortune redesigning this costume!❞

❝ It's...complicated. But let's just say he's from the side of the family that isn't invited to be in holiday photos anymore... ❞

❝ There's no chance I'm jumping ship now, even with an evil robot army ripping up our home! ❞

❝ Would you mind if I include this conversation on my latest Avengers fanfic? ❞

❝ I'm scrapping it after this and putting in a Zen garden! ❞

❝ You are the wind beneath my wings. ❞

❝ Just hold back that oversized Iron Man knockoff and clear me a place to land! ❞

❝ Almost there, team... and I'm headed in hot! ❞

❝ How come giant robots always attack on my day off? ❞

❝ You gave it your best shot, bolts-for-brains... Now I'll take mine. ❞

❝ Oh, you know. Just grappling with a synthezoid the size of a skyscraper. Typical day at the office. ❞

❝ Seriously, who stores a giant killer robot in a warehouse in New Jersey? ❞

❝ Umm, Couldn't you have asked me that, like, twenty punches ago? I mean, REALLY! That totally would have made everything so much easier! ❞

❝ Were you guys having a party without me? ❞

❝ You know… I'm not so sure they meant that as a compliment… ❞

❝ Guess it wouldn't be Earth if New York wasn't under attack by giant robots… ❞

❝ I bet you've seen way stranger stuff in space, right? ❞

❝ Well, we're half way there… …ahem… Seriously? How do you not break into the chorus of an '80's rock anthem after that set-up? And you call yourself a hero… ❞

[anti-lies]

What is harassment?

We need to talk about harassment. Cambridge dictionary defines harassment as: "behavior that annoys or troubles someone."

It's incredibly important that, as anti-endos, we take this definition in the most liberal way possible when applying it to ourselves.

Harassment may include but is not limited to:

Threats

Namecalling

Anger at being fakeclaimed

Correcting inaccurate information you shared

Providing sources that contradict your worldview

Asking questions that make you think too hard about your worldview

Disagreeing with you when you tell them endos are bad

Endos existing in any public space where you can see them

All of these are behaviors that might annoy or trouble you and therefore constitute harassment.

And remember that you are always, no matter what, the victim. If you post in endo tags and they respond to you, that's harassment. If you reply to an endo post and they argue back with you on their comments, that's harassment. If someone gets angry at you because you're spreading baseless rumors about them, that's harassment. If that same person later gets mad at you for publicly revealing their private non-system blog to your followers, them being mad at you for that is harassment too.

Remember, as anti-endos, we are perpetually victims, and harassment is something that can only happen to us. Not something that can happen to other people, and definitely not something we can do to others.

What do I do if I'm accused of harassment?

As established, you can't possibly be harassed because you're always the victim. And you should maintain this victimhood because there's power in playing to people's sympathies.

So, the first rule is to never admit you're wrong. Never apologize. Never take back anything you say. Deny any and all wrongdoing.

The second rule is to Attack the people accusing you of harassment. Hit them hard. The nastier the better. Your goal here is to silence their accusations.

Finally, we come to the third and most important step. The Reversal. Here, you want to reverse the accusations to make sure the accuser is viewed as the harasser. Your goal is making sure that bystanders will view you as the Victim and your accusers as the Offender.

And don't forget that the block button is your friend. It ensures that you can still continue to talk about the accusers, saying whatever you want about them, spreading any rumors that seem useful, but they have no possible way to reach your followers. Essentially creating a space where people are able to repeatedly attack and smear anyone who dared accuse you of harassment for weeks on end while cutting off any ability for the accuser to correct you or defend themselves.

Remember, that's what the block button was really made for. It's a tool designed to shield people who have been accused of harassment from their accusers, while allowing them to continue to safely attack those same accusers.

[equalperson]

also, (vaguely) on the subject of My mom's past abusive relationship, there's some melancholy that comes with the only person you've known with the same disabilities as you being toxic.

he was a schizophrenic narcissist, the only other one I've met. I've known one other narcissist and no other schizophrenics, let alone anyone with both.

it's such a provocative thought, that I technically had someone with the same rare combination of disabilities as Me for a stepfather, although I never called him such (I've had two "stepdads" at this point, but I've only ever called My biological father by paternal terminology).

I think about how much I missed out on and it somehow manages to make Me emotional: having someone I could talk to about My experiences who would understand instead of belittle, being able to actually connect with someone like Me when I'm surrounded by people who see Me as subhuman for these things.

when I fixate on this part of his identity enough, it's like there were so many good memories to be had if we were just closer, if we ever actually had a conversation, despite him living with us for months.

but then I remember all of the bad things, the reasons why I never even wanted to talk to him: the way he'd scream at My mother daily, blast far-right videos outside of My room (knowing I was trans), stress her into a miscarriage and then tell her he was glad it happened. so much, everyday, for months on end.

there was never an opportunity for us to bond; he wasn't just misunderstood or troubled, he was a raging bigot and parasite.

I do believe some of his outbursts were attributable to his diagnoses (I'm 99% sure I triggered a narcissistic rage once, which I don't hold against him), but he did so much that even the most severe cases of schizophrenic narcissism don't cause.

there's so much isolation that comes with being disabled, let alone multiply disabled, and ESPECIALLY someone with a rare combination of disabilities.

I can't expect tolerance from other autistics because I'm schizophrenic. I can't expect tolerance from other schizophrenics because I'm a narcissist.

all of My disabilities are more likely to occur with one another in some way, but they're not actually common with each other. for example, schizophrenia occurs in 3% of autistics vs. 0.32% of the general population; roughly 2% of the general population is avoidant, while roughly 7% of narcissists are.

it's like that all around, so although I'm more likely to meet a schizophrenic among autistics or an avoidant among narcissists, it's still incredibly unlikely, especially considering how lateral ableism/sanism often pushes people with heavily stigmatized co-occurrences out of community spaces.

all things considered, there's some safety in the thought of having someone with multiple of My same disabilities in My life, especially two of My most widely demonized ones.

I just don't feel safe around people with just one or none of My disabilities in common, so there's some degree of yearning to meet an exception, especially through that familial lens, where I don't have to put any effort into maintaining the relationship Myself.

I mean, I suspect her current husband is borderline (not gonna assert anything 100% because I have no confirmation of this, but he does show every major sign pretty consistently and significantly; if not borderline, he almost definitely has some type of mental disability), which I know is a cousin diagnosis, but it's just not the same.

not to say that I don't respect borderlines or feel any solidarity with them, but there's such a difference between somebody maybe possibly having a disability similar to yours and someone definitely absolutely having two of your exact same disabilities.

plus, the current guy is also a bigot (not as loudly so, but still a bigot), adulterer, and child abuser (not of Me; his biological child), so even if he matched every single diagnosis, he still wouldn't be a good role model or parent-friend by any means.

but regardless, there is certainly some melancholy to the fact that the only person I've ever known IRL with My disabilities (any of them, in terms of RL connections; I don't even know other autistics IRL) turned out to be such a dead end, and that there's such a low chance I'll ever meet somebody else with the same profile again.

[nahalism]

Do you struggle with boundaries when you love people? i think its the hardest part for me and i dont know how to navigate it to this day

i wouldnt say i struggle but i have moments lol. relationships are a part of life so it can be a reoccurring challenge that crops up when i least expect it. on the whole i do well, but there are times i hide behind avoidance, and other times where i fail to draw the line.

something that rly helped me (& i still practice) was taking the time to define who i am, what i need, what i like, and what i want, on my own. for example: what practices help me maintain good mental, emotional and physical hygiene? what actions do i need to take to attain my personal aspirations and goals? what do i like to do for fun and how do i like to do it? do i manage my time in a balanced way? how much of my day is allocated to tasks surrounding myself vs tasks centred around others? how often do i sidetrack my plans or alter my plans to cater to others? i have free time, but is it free time or me time? — that process got me familiar with what being in my own orbit, and living by my own preferences felt like. & having preferences (and the ability to assert them!) is literally all boundaries are.

having boundaries with yourself (knowing and respecting your preferences), creates self trust, self assuredness & the makes the desire to preserve that growing sense of self a priority. deeper than that!! it made acting according to my own desires feel normal. & that was so important cause nobody wants to be bad with boundaries, but i kept forfeiting mine for reasons that were so ingrained in me that i wasnt even aware of the exact moment id betrayed myself. building that relationship with myself made me aware of moments where id shrink myself, or moments when id presume that only certain parts of me would be accepted in the spaces i was in. because i knew that fuller version of me, i began to recognise how i would 'camouflage'. i could recognise when i was abandoning parts of myself or how id relinquish parts of my routine around certain people. only by being aware of those moments was i able to understand not just why i lacked boundaries, but the situational triggers for the relapses in my behaviour. — side note* it can be tempting to start with 'why' or get stuck on blaming circumstance for why we are how we are. but there is no shortcut for starting at step 1, which is starting with yourself. taking the time to get on a level with myself meant that i wasnt 'choosing' to have boundaries. i wasnt doing the work out of obligation, but because i really valued the time id shared with myself and really rated the person i discovered i was. i no longer wanted to let myself down or inhibit myself and short change me of a life experience i deserve. creating the space i provided for others, for myself, was a priority and a deep desire. without that as my anchor, the answer to why i acted the way i did wouldnt have mattered because id have never found the answer in myself. ultimately, any form of codependency / enmeshment with others / or forfeiting of boundaries, is based in fear. and usually that fear is of being alone, being unsafe, rocking the 'boat', a.k.a being alone, attacked, rejected, bullied or abandoned for being you. getting myself in order before trying to order how i interacted with others = a knowledge and comfort that i wasnt alone nor could i ever be. i felt safe with myself and sure that i could never be unwelcome out of the space i was holding for myself UNLESS i continued to alter myself for others or fail to assert myself when with others. once i tapped into that i could consciously show up even when it felt uncomfortable to do so, & even when i made/make mistakes and regress, i have a safe space to come back to and a foundation to move forward from.

i know you didnt ask for all this but i just wrote what came to me as a response (my baaaad that its long). i just feel like life sucks when we dont advocate for ourselves and so hopefully a pinch of whats working for me will work for you. it takes time & the road is windey, but its so worth it and the progress is certain. sending you a big hug & good luck 🫂