#but over time i have come to understand it as
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I'm not a musician or a writer but I do feel this can apply about visual works like animations or movies too!
As an artist I love oogling a good piece of media like anyone else, but when it comes to movies my favorite thing in this world is a good piece of cinematography in a film. Holy shit.
Having a friend who works in film, and is crazy passionate about it, who has explained how some things are achieved or handled only makes me analyze shots and movement more these days.
I love the idea of how storyboards work from conception to final shot, and a lot of times when I watch a complex scenes, or see a crazy colorful arrangement I'm lost in that thought train of "how did they achieve that?" "what did that board look like?" "what was the conversation about this like??" I'm lost admiring composition set ups and such.
I think that's kinda the beauty of any kind of media; deconstructing it down to why it's hitting or missing with us. The beauty of discussion and media analysis!!
Why a piece of writing is received well, and what sticks it in the consciousness of the world or what it could do better - what YOU may do different, or what inspires you. There's a reason people love to quote books and writers - reasons sentences stick with you and make you pause at times reading a truly good book. It could be a line about something as simple as the turning of the season, but what words slotted together to make that image might really HIT something.
What a song is doing lyrically that's impressive, or what about the background/instrumental track is good - is that a sample? What are they doing to achieve that little hook that's going on? Are these two things meshing well? There's so many times at work I've put stuff on a playlist to listen to and pick apart later. Playing mostly harmony roles in orchestra in my childhood gave me an appreciation for what's going on in the background, and it's interesting to really LISTEN for that stuff tbh :0
But movies are a big thing for me as an artist... I love going to the movies, sure!! But sitting at home on my PC while I'm working on art? A movie going on half my monitor, and pausing every so often to admire a shot, a composition or a sequence of how a camera moves through a scene? Man. Rewinding and analyzing a shot and how they frame things - visualizing the layout planning? So fun. So neat. Inspiring, truly at times!
Media intake, analysis, deconstruction - whatever have you is so interesting in general. But it's also ya'know, some people just take it in and nod their heads - ALSO VALID!!
okay sorry, one other thing annoyed me about that writing class. one of the students is this super clean-cut doctor who works at an HIV clinic, and he asked the prof "do you ever get distracted while reading books, because you find yourself analyzing the craft of them instead of sinking into the story?"
and she said "no," and turned away. and the whole class laughed awkwardly, bc it was a pretty abrupt and dismissive answer. so then she turned back to him and said "you wouldn't ask a musician if they get distracted listening to songs. they just enjoy the music."
but I dunno, I'm a newbie writer with only one (scheduled-to-be-published) book under my belt, but I get distracted sometimes when I'm reading. if I find I'm not sinking into a block of text, I'll squint at it and be like "okay, they're using too much passive voice, that's why my brain isn't grabbing on to it." so I'm sorry Mr. HIV doctor, I thought your question was reasonable!
#long post#I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT DEEP MEDIA ENGAGEMENT HONESTLY...#like I just love media analysis and engagement and people really digging into what resonates with us#I love when a piece of media makes me feel ANYTHING and there's so many times I admire a pretty sentence#or a well done musical leitmotif or something - mind you love people relearning that word god fucking bless#and I love that more people are starting to really understand what cinematography is and how it makes or breaks a movie#the number of people in highschool in my filmart class who were like WTF is that and me just over there like blese I'm dying.... ;;#I'm sure this kinda thing could be said about ANY medium of creation ;w;#a TREAT FOR THE SENSES~ but that's such an odd take honestly about... the construction of something not being a background thought even#but brains all work different!! some people just ingest a piece of media and others pick it apart - people are right either way!#but it's interesting to see both sides when it comes to a media!
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SEASON 6 ILLUSTRHATER THOUGHTS
honestly, I was expecting the animation to be more jarring for me than it actually was. It was actually really easy for me to get into and tbh just looks really nice. Adrien is the character I'll need to get used to the most, but I like his look fine, I just need to get used to it.
But like. special shoutout to nino. NINO????? NINO LOOKS. SO FUCKING CUTE. I love him so much I want to squish his face?? I'm almost unable to watch this episode in a normal way because I'm too busy staring at Nino's adorable face the whole time.
the DJWifi was so cute in this episode. theyre so sweet
in general I really like the redesigns of all the characters. I think they all look like... them. Like Nathaniel looks more like Nathaniel to me, Kagami looks more like Kagami, Sabrina looks like Sabrina and Ivan looks like Ivan. I can't describe it — they look like they've matured enough to have a better understanding of who they are. I like it.
Also, the intro sequence. If there's still any doubt about whether the show will address "marinette's lie coming back to bite her / looming over her" this season, I feel like the intro answers that pretty clearly and with a distinct tone
Another thing — the background characters look soooo much better in the new animation. Not only do they not look like terrifying low res monstrosities like they did in the old show, but they have such a wide array of distinct body types that i really appreciate. a lot of diversity in the crowds w race and disability too. and they look good. it's really refreshing.
I. LOVE. the new butterfly-telepathy sequences. the way that butterfly!lila talks to her victims in a little dreamscape where she's able to use her body language and manipulation tactics. I cannot actually emphasize how much this strangely excited me. It feels so much more emotionally impactful and interesting and dynamic and Lila than what Hawkmoth did
I know people are going to be upset about Marinette being awkward around Adrien again, but I feel like it makes a lot of sense to me. In the more general sense, it makes a lot of sense for this soft-refresh of the show that is marketing itself to a new audience to re-introduce the adrienette dynamic in a way that is just a smidge redundant to old fans. This is kind of important background on how Adrien and Marinette have always been with each other and the context of their relationship! That's important to show.
As a more in-character/universe explanation — while, yes, Adrien and Marinette started to get much more comfortable in their relationship in the old season, they never really got time to BREATHE. they were awkward and messy for the majority of their time together in s5, and then right as they started to get comfortable, Gabriel started puppeteering Adrien in a way that made things pretty tense for them, and then a whole whirlwind happened where he was sent away, and then his DAD DIED and he presumably spent a lot of the summer in mourning and— and— i dunno. I don't think it's too much of a stretch for me to believe that their relationship still feels awkward, especially when a new butterfly villain just popped up and likely reminded marinette of the whole Fiasco and threw her into mega-stress mode.
Their relationship isn't technically all that "new" like they act like it is, but this IS actually probably the first time they've been able to go on regular dates like this! So it feels new, they're still sort of in that "new" stage. Before, Gabriel was keeping Adrien away, and then Adrien probably wasn't in a good headspace for a lot of the summer after he died.
(Also, I just enjoy watching Marinette be awkward about Adrien. I definitely prefer them re-treading some old ground to new audiences than for their relationship to feel too jarringly different than how we've seen them interact in the past. I wouldn't want the time skip to be used as too much of a crutch, especially when I expect that Adrien spent a lot of it in mourning)
But anyway, they're still kissing in the season intro, and this is only episode TWO of the season, so I'm excited to see them gradually get more lovey dovey as the season goes on. (Or for Marinette's stress and guilt to overwhelm her! Who knows! I'm down!)
Oh also, Ladybug looks SO GOOD. she is so shiny and pretty and I love the red in her hair and i love her and I love ladynoir talking about their relationships and and and. and. i love them. thanks for coming to my ted talk
#ml spoilers#ml s6 spoilers#illustrhater spoilers#the illustrhater spoilers#miraculous ladybug spoilers
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F1 GRID | there's always a first for everything
୨ৎ : featuring : max verstappen, lewis hamilton, george russell, carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris, oscar piastri ୨ৎ : synopsis (requested by @sonichkkaaascreams) : you are extremely playful, flirty, and teasing with your formula one boyfriend but when times comes to move to third base, you admit that you're actually quite inexperienced...
୨ৎ : genre : romance & fluff ୨ৎ : tws : mentions of sex, first-time, suggestive themes ୨ৎ : word count : 5289
୨ৎ masterlist ୨ৎ
ᡣ𐭩 a/n : this was such a fun request to write ty!
ʚ・max verstappen
the atmosphere was filled with a faint hum of the harbor mixed with the chatter of distant parties, but all you could focus on was max beside you. he stood just close enough that his arm brushed yours, his piercing blue eyes locked on you with a sly smile tugging at his lips.
"you keep staring at me like that, verstappen… should i be worried?" you teased, nudging his side with your shoulder.
his laugh was low and warm, curling around you like the balmy night air. "worried? no. flattered? definitely."
you rolled your eyes, though your cheeks burned at the way he was looking at you. "you talk a big game for someone who's never beaten me at darts."
"that’s because you cheat," he shot back, stepping a little closer. his voice dropped, teasing but laced with something heavier. "but i’m pretty sure i could beat you at something else."
you raised an eyebrow, keeping your tone light even as your pulse kicked up. "like what? racing?"
he smirked, tilting his head as his fingers ghosted over yours. "i was thinking something a bit more… hands-on."
your breath caught, but you played it off with a quick laugh. "careful, max. you might actually scare me off."
"i don’t think you scare that easily," he murmured, his voice soft and steady as he leaned closer.
the teasing melted into something electric, the space between you shrinking until his lips hovered just over yours. when he kissed you, it wasn’t hesitant or rushed—it was deliberate, like he’d been waiting for this moment and wanted to savor every second.
his hands cupped your face gently, his touch tender even as the kiss deepened. you felt your heart pounding in your chest, heat flooding your veins. but as his hands began to drift lower and his lips trailed along your neck, you froze.
"wait…" you whispered, pulling back just enough to break the moment.
max stopped instantly, his hands dropping as he searched your face. "what’s wrong? did i—"
"no," you cut him off quickly, your cheeks burning. "it’s not that… i just… i’ve never done this before."
it felt clumsy and awkward spilling out, and you kept your eyes fixed on the floor, too embarrassed to look at him. "i don’t really know what i’m doing, and i didn’t want you to think…" you trailed off, unsure how to finish.
"hey," he said gently, his voice pulling your gaze back to him. his expression was soft, his blue eyes warm and understanding. "you don’t have to explain. it’s okay."
"i just didn’t want you to think i’m—"
"don’t," he interrupted, smiling as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "don’t overthink it. there’s no pressure. we’ll go at your pace… or not at all, if that’s what you want."
you blinked up at him, your chest tightening at the tenderness in his voice. "you’re really okay with this?"
he brushed his thumb along your cheek, his smile growing. "more than okay. this isn’t a race, you know. and with you, i don’t mind taking my time."
a laugh bubbled out of you, easing the tension that had built in your chest. "you’re too good to me, verstappen."
"yeah, well," he said, his trademark cocky grin returning as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, "don’t forget it. you’ve got the exclusive version."
you wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face against his shoulder as your nerves gave way to something softer—something that felt a lot like love.
"thanks, max… i love you," you whispered.
"i love you too," he murmured, his arms tightening around you. then, his voice turned playful again. "now, let’s go inside before you start using this as an excuse to dodge another darts rematch."
you laughed, pulling back to meet his mischievous gaze. somehow, max always knew how to make everything feel right—like there was no place in the world you’d rather be.
ʚ・lewis hamilton
you sat cross-legged on the plush couch, sipping wine as lewis leaned back beside you, one arm draped casually over the cushions, his other hand wrapped around his glass.
he was watching you again—that familiar, knowing smile playing on his lips.
“you’re quiet,” you teased, setting your glass on the coffee table. “that’s not like you.”
he chuckled softly, his voice low and smooth. “i’m just enjoying the view.”
you rolled your eyes, but your cheeks betrayed you, flushing under his gaze. “you’re laying it on thick tonight, hamilton.”
“am i?” he asked, tilting his head slightly, his grin widening. “maybe i just don’t say it enough.”
“sure,” you replied, trying to sound unaffected as you reached for a throw pillow to hug against your chest. “lewis hamilton, seven-time world champion, and suddenly you’re a poet too.”
he leaned forward, setting his glass down before turning his full attention to you. “you act like you’re not used to me complimenting you by now. do i really need to convince you i mean it?”
his voice softened at the end, and suddenly the playful banter felt heavier, more intimate. he shifted closer, his knee brushing against yours as his fingers traced light patterns on the pillow you were clutching.
“you’re impossible,” you murmured, though your voice wavered slightly, your defenses slipping.
lewis smirked. “you’re still here, though.”
before you could reply, he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was slow and deliberate, like he had all the time in the world. it wasn’t rushed or insistent—it was patient, as if he wanted to savor the moment, to make sure you felt it too.
you kissed him back, your hands finding their way to his shoulders, his warmth grounding you as the world outside faded into the background. but as his hand slid to your waist and his lips moved to the curve of your jaw, you stiffened, pulling back just slightly.
“wait…” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
lewis immediately stopped, his hand retreating as he searched your face. “what’s wrong?” he asked, concern lacing his tone.
you swallowed hard, feeling a knot of nerves tighten in your chest. “it’s not you… i just…” you looked down, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. “i’ve never done this before.”
it felt like the words were tumbling out of your mouth ungracefully, and you braced yourself for his reaction.
“you mean…” he started, his voice gentle.
you nodded quickly, your cheeks burning. “yeah. i’ve never gone this far, and i don’t really know what i’m doing. i— i didn’t want to disappoint you or make it awkward.”
lewis stayed quiet for a moment, and when you finally glanced up at him, his expression was so soft it made your chest ache.
“why would you think that’d disappoint me?” he asked, his voice calm and steady.
“i don’t know…” you admitted, shrugging as you looked down again. “you probably expected someone who—”
“stop,” he said, his fingers tilting your chin up so you had no choice but to meet his gaze. “i don’t expect anything from you, okay? this… you… it’s not about experience or any of that. it’s about us, and i’m not going to rush you.”
you blinked at him, caught off guard by the sincerity in his words. “you’re not… disappointed?”
“disappointed?” he repeated, shaking his head with a small smile. “not even close. if anything, it just makes this more special.”
you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, the weight in your chest lifting slightly. “you’re really okay with this?”
“of course i am,” he said, brushing his thumb over your cheek in that impossibly tender way of his. “we’ll go as slow as you need to. and if you’re not ready, that’s fine too. i’m not going anywhere.”
your heart swelled at his words, and you found yourself leaning into his touch. “you’re too good to me,” you whispered, your voice trembling just a little.
lewis smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “you deserve nothing less.”
you let out a soft laugh, the tension in the room easing as you rested your head against his shoulder. the warmth of his embrace and the steady rhythm of his breathing calmed you, and for the first time that night, you felt completely at ease.
“i love you,” you murmured after a moment, the words slipping out naturally.
his arm tightened around you, his voice low and full of emotion as he replied, “i love you too.”
ʚ・george russell
george laid beside you, his long frame relaxed as he rested on one elbow, looking at you instead of the stars.
“you know, the view up there is stunning,” you said, pointing to the sky, “but you keep staring at me.”
“can you blame me?” he replied smoothly, his lips curling into that signature lopsided grin.
you rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the warmth from spreading across your cheeks. “you’re ridiculous.”
“i’ve been called worse,” he teased, his voice soft, almost like he didn’t want to disturb the quiet beauty of the night. “but it’s true. you’re impossible to look away from.”
you shook your head, laughing lightly. “you’ve got the stars and the whole milky way up there, and you’re wasting your time looking at me?”
“absolutely,” he said without hesitation, his tone sincere enough to make your breath catch.
before you could reply, george shifted closer, his hand brushing against yours where it rested on the blanket. the touch was small, almost imperceptible, but it sent your pulse racing. when his fingers slowly intertwined with yours, you looked up at him, your eyes meeting his in the dim starlight.
he leaned in then, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was soft and careful, like he was testing the waters. you melted into it, your hand moving to his shoulder as the kiss deepened, his touch both gentle and grounding.
but as his hand moved to your waist, and the kiss became more intense, a wave of nerves washed over you. you broke the kiss, pulling back slightly, your breathing unsteady.
“wait…” you whispered, your voice trembling.
george froze instantly, his brows knitting together as concern flickered across his face. “are you okay? did i do something wrong?”
“no,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “it’s not that.” you looked down, chewing on your bottom lip as embarrassment bubbled up. “i’ve just… i’ve never done this before.”
his confusion gave way to realization, and he sat up a little straighter, his grip on your hand never loosening. “you mean…?”
you nodded, the words catching in your throat. “yeah. i’ve never gone this far, and i don’t really know what i’m doing. i didn’t want you to think i’m… i don’t know… weird, or inexperienced, or—”
“hey,” george interrupted gently, his free hand reaching out to tilt your chin up so you’d meet his gaze. “you’re not weird, and you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
you blinked at him, surprised by how calm and steady his voice was. “i just… i didn’t want you to be disappointed.”
“disappointed?” he repeated, his lips twitching into a small smile. “the only way i’d be disappointed is if you felt like you couldn’t be honest with me.”
his words were like a balm, easing the knot of anxiety in your chest. “so you’re really okay with this?”
“of course i am,” he said, his thumb brushing lightly over the back of your hand. “it’s not about what we do or don’t do. it’s about being with you. that’s what matters to me.”
your throat tightened at the sincerity in his voice, and you looked away briefly, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. “you make it sound so simple.”
“because it is,” he said, his smile soft as he leaned in to press a kiss to your temple. “we’ll take things at your pace, okay? there’s no rush. and if you’re not ready, that’s perfectly fine too.”
you exhaled shakily, leaning into him as his arm wrapped around your shoulders. “how are you so perfect?” you murmured, your voice muffled against his chest.
“i’m not,” he said with a small chuckle. “but i’m trying my best for you.”
you tilted your head to look up at him, your chest swelling with gratitude and something far deeper. “thank you, george.”
“for what?”
“for… everything,” you said softly.
he smiled, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “you don’t have to thank me. i’m exactly where i want to be.”
ʚ・carlos sainz
carlos laid beside you on the bed, propped up on one elbow, his dark eyes locked onto yours. the way he looked at you—like you were the only thing that mattered—sent your heart racing.
“what are you thinking about?” you asked softly, your fingers playing with the hem of his t-shirt.
“you,” he said simply, his voice low and warm. a small, teasing smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “always you.”
you laughed lightly, rolling your eyes. “you’re such a romantic.”
“i mean it,” he said, leaning in closer until his nose brushed against yours. “you drive me crazy, you know that?”
before you could respond, his lips found yours, slow and deliberate. the kiss deepened quickly, his hand sliding up to cradle your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin in a way that made your stomach flutter.
carlos shifted, guiding you onto your back as he hovered over you. his kisses grew hungrier, trailing from your lips to your jawline, then down the curve of your neck. his hands slid to your waist, his touch sending sparks through your body.
you felt the heat between you building, the line between playful and passionate blurring. when his hand slipped beneath the hem of your top, a nervous knot tightened in your chest, and you froze.
“carlos, wait,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
he stopped immediately, his lips stilling against your collarbone as he pulled back to look at you. his brow furrowed slightly in concern. “what’s wrong, cariño? did i do something?”
“no, it’s not you,” you said quickly, your cheeks flushing. you avoided his gaze, embarrassed, as you fidgeted with the edge of the blanket. “it’s just… i’ve never done this before.”
the silence that followed made your heart pound even harder, but when you dared to look up at him, the worry on his face had softened into something tender.
“you mean… nunca?” he asked gently, his voice softer now.
you nodded, swallowing hard. “yeah. i’ve never… gone this far before. i didn’t want you to think i’m… i don’t know, inexperienced or—”
“stop,” he said, cutting you off gently as he cupped your face with both hands. his eyes searched yours, filled with nothing but warmth and reassurance. “don’t do that. don’t feel embarrassed about this. it doesn’t matter to me.”
“it doesn’t?” you asked, your voice shaky.
“no, cariño,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “the only thing that matters is you. if you’re not ready, we don’t have to do anything.”
you hesitated, his words melting some of your nerves. “i want to… with you. i just… i don’t know what i’m doing.”
carlos’s lips curved into a gentle smile. “then let me show you,” he murmured. “we’ll take it slow. i promise. and i’ll make it special for you… the way it should be.”
your chest tightened, overwhelmed by the tenderness in his voice. “you’re sure?”
“i’ve never been more sure of anything,” he said, brushing a strand of hair from your face.
he leaned in, kissing you softly, as if to prove his words. his hands moved carefully, his touch unhurried and deliberate as he coaxed you into relaxing. he spoke to you in whispers, his deep voice grounding you as he told you how beautiful you were, how much he cared about you.
every moment felt like it was filled with purpose—no rush, no pressure. he focused entirely on you, watching your reactions and pausing whenever you needed. the world outside faded completely, leaving only him and the warmth of his presence.
and when it finally happened, it was everything you could have hoped for—gentle, intimate, and filled with love. carlos made sure every second was about you, showing you just how much you meant to him.
you tilted your head to look up at him, your heart swelling as his brown eyes met yours. “i love you, carlos.”
his smile widened, and he kissed you again, slow and sweet. “te quiero más, mi amor. always.”
and in that moment, wrapped in his arms, you knew you’d never felt safer—or more loved—in your entire life.
ʚ・charles leclerc
the hotel room was quiet except for the sound of the waves crashing against the shore outside. the moonlight filtered through the curtains, casting a silvery glow across the room. you sat cross-legged on the plush bed, your knees brushing against charles’s as he sat opposite you, a lazy grin tugging at his lips.
“you know,” he said, tilting his head, “you’re staring at me an awful lot tonight. do i have something on my face?”
you rolled your eyes, trying to hide your smile. “no, but you do have this annoying habit of thinking the universe revolves around you.”
he clutched his chest dramatically, falling back onto the bed. “mon dieu! you wound me.” (my god!)
laughing, you leaned over and gave him a playful shove. “get up, you drama queen.”
instead of sitting up, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you down beside him, his arm sliding around your waist to keep you close. your breath caught as his face hovered just inches from yours, his green eyes sparkling with mischief.
“you like it,” he murmured, his voice dropping slightly.
“maybe,” you whispered back, your cheeks heating.
the playful teasing shifted as he leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that was soft at first, then deepened as his hand moved to cradle your face. your fingers found their way into his hair, and the kiss grew more heated, his body pressing into yours as you lost yourself in him.
but just as his hand slid down to rest on your hip, you froze.
“wait,” you said, breaking the kiss.
charles stopped instantly, his brows knitting together as he pulled back slightly. “qu’est-ce qui ne va pas? what’s wrong?” (what’s wrong?)
you bit your lip, suddenly hyper-aware of how close you were. “i… i’ve never done this before.”
his confusion was almost comical as he blinked at you. “you’ve never…?”
you nodded quickly, your face burning. “yeah. never. and i know it’s probably ridiculous at my age, but—”
“wait, wait,” he said, sitting up suddenly, his hand going to his mouth like he was trying not to laugh. “are you telling me you’re a virgin?”
“charles!” you hissed, swatting his arm, mortified.
“i’m sorry!” he said, laughing now, though his tone was more amused than mocking. “i just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all. you, uh… you had me fooled.”
you groaned, covering your face with your hands. “this is so embarrassing.”
“non, non,” he said quickly, gently prying your hands away from your face. (no, no) his grin softened into something more affectionate. “it’s not embarrassing. it’s… cute, actually.”
“cute?” you echoed, narrowing your eyes at him.
he shrugged, his lips quirking up again. “yes, cute. you’re like a little… how do you say… a rookie?”
“charles!”
“okay, okay,” he said, holding up his hands in mock surrender, though he was still grinning. “i’ll stop. but seriously, you don’t have to feel embarrassed. everyone starts somewhere.”
you couldn’t help but laugh a little, his lighthearted teasing easing some of your nerves. “you’re such an idiot.”
“but i’m your idiot,” he quipped, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead.
as the laughter faded, the room grew quiet again, the air between you shifting. charles’s hand found yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles as he looked at you, his teasing demeanor giving way to something more serious.
“are you okay?” he asked softly. “i don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
you stared at him for a moment, your heart swelling at how genuine he was. slowly, you leaned in, capturing his lips in a kiss that was more confident this time. when you pulled back, your eyes met his, and you smiled.
“i’m sure,” you said firmly. “if i’m going to do this, i want it to be with you.”
charles’s eyes widened slightly, and then his expression softened into something that made your chest ache—in the best way. “you’re really sure?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“yes,” you said, your hand moving to cup his cheek. “with you, charles. only you.”
“you’re amazing, you know that?” he murmured, his voice thick with affection.
you smiled against his chest, your fingers tracing idle patterns on his skin. “you’re not so bad yourself.”
he laughed softly, the sound rumbling through his chest. “so… do you think i will be good enough for your first time?”
“charles!” you said, smacking his shoulder, though you couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped.
“what? i’m just asking,” he said, grinning down at you.
you rolled your eyes but leaned up to kiss him anyway. “perfect. you will be perfect.”
“good,” he said, pulling you closer. “because i'm going to be your first, and your last."
and with that, he kissed you again, leaving you with no doubt that you’d made the right choice.
ʚ・lando norris
the two of you were supposed to go to the team dinner, but after some poor excuses and convincing from lando (“come on, do you really want to sit next to zak while he lectures us on efficiency?”), you’d ended up here instead.
“you’re seriously telling me you’ve never seen shrek 2?” lando asked, his mouth half-full of pizza, his voice dripping with exaggerated disbelief.
you groaned, tossing a crust at him. “why is that so shocking? it’s not like it’s a rite of passage!”
“it is!” he shot back, dodging the crust with dramatic flair. “forget racing—this is what’s wrong with society. people skipping cinematic masterpieces.”
you rolled your eyes, unable to keep from laughing at his antics. “if you care so much, put it on.”
“fine,” he said, grabbing the remote and scrolling through the options. “but don’t say i didn’t warn you when your life changes forever.”
the movie started, but somewhere between donkey’s singing and your shared commentary, you ended up on the bed, legs tangled as you debated which animated character was the best.
“it’s obviously puss in boots,” you said, gesturing at the screen.
“no way. donkey carries the entire movie,” lando argued, his head propped on his hand as he looked at you, his dimples showing with every word.
“you just love chaos,” you teased, poking his cheek.
“true,” he said, catching your hand before you could pull away. his expression shifted slightly, his playful grin softening as his thumb brushed over your knuckles. “but i also like moments like this.”
the teasing reply you’d planned died on your lips as he leaned in, his nose brushing yours. when his lips finally met yours, it was sweet at first, a kiss that sent warmth flooding through your chest.
but then it deepened, his hands finding your waist as yours slid up to tangle in his curls. the kiss turned urgent, and soon you found yourself lying back, his weight shifting over you as his lips traveled to your jaw, then your neck.
your breath hitched, nerves suddenly rushing to the surface. you pulled back slightly, your fingers gripping his shoulders.
“lando… wait,” you said, your voice barely audible.
he stopped immediately, sitting back on his knees as he looked down at you with wide, concerned eyes. “what’s wrong? did i—did i do something?”
you shook your head quickly, sitting up. “no, it’s not you. it’s just…” you hesitated, feeling your cheeks heat. “i’ve never done this before.”
his brows furrowed for a moment before realization dawned. “you mean… like, never ever?”
you nodded, already feeling embarrassed. “yeah. never ever.”
there was a beat of silence, and then—lando burst out laughing.
you smacked his arm, your face burning. “lando! don’t laugh at me!”
“i’m not laughing at you!” he said between breaths, holding up his hands in defense. “i’m just—really? you’ve been holding out this whole time? that’s impressive!”
“impressive?” you repeated, glaring at him.
“yeah!” he said, grinning now. “i mean, i thought i was going to have to work harder for this! you’ve been playing hard to get.”
you groaned, hiding your face in your hands. “this is so embarrassing.”
“hey, hey,” he said, his laughter fading as he gently pulled your hands away. “i’m sorry, i’m just surprised. but seriously—it’s not a big deal.”
“it feels like a big deal,” you muttered.
“well, it shouldn’t,” he said firmly, his tone softening. “there’s nothing wrong with waiting, and it doesn’t make you weird or anything.” he paused, a cheeky grin creeping back onto his face. “although, it does make me feel special. i mean, out of all the people in the world, you chose me.”
“don’t let it go to your head,” you teased, though you couldn’t help but smile.
“too late,” he said, leaning in to nudge your nose with his. “but seriously, we don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
you looked at him for a long moment, taking in the sincerity in his eyes, the way his usually goofy demeanor had softened. slowly, you reached out, cupping his cheek. “i’m ready. if i’m going to do this, i want it to be with you.”
his expression shifted, surprise flickering across his face before it melted into a warm, slightly shy smile. “you’re sure?”
you nodded, your thumb brushing over his cheek. “i’m sure.”
lando grinned, his dimples making a reappearance as he kissed you again, his movements more deliberate this time. “alright,” he murmured against your lips. “but if you get scared, you tell me, okay?”
“okay,” you whispered, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer.
as the night went on, the laughter and teasing faded into something deeper, more intimate. lando was attentive, gentle, and when he whispered, “you’re amazing,” it felt like he wasn’t just talking about the moment but about you.
afterward, you lay curled against him, his arm draped over you as the credits to shrek 2 rolled in the background.
“so… was it worth missing the team dinner?” he asked, his voice filled with humor.
you laughed, burying your face in his chest. “definitely.”
“good,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “because i don’t think zak would’ve let me live it down if i brought you back late.”
ʚ・oscar piastri
oscar had always had a way of making everything feel easy. no pressure, no rush, just two people enjoying the moment. tonight, though, the tension was different, something heavier in the air as his eyes met yours with a soft intensity that made your heart race.
"hey," oscar said gently, his voice calm but with an edge of curiosity. "you okay?"
you nodded quickly, but your mind was whirling. he had that effect on you—making everything feel so natural and comfortable, but tonight, you could feel the weight of the moment. his hand brushed against yours, sending a shock through your chest, and you pulled your hand back slightly, biting your lip.
"actually," you started, your voice quieter than you’d intended, "there’s something i need to tell you."
oscar’s brows furrowed in concern, and he turned to face you fully, his body shifting to mirror yours as he gave you his undivided attention. "what is it?"
you hesitated, biting your lip as nerves bubbled in your stomach. "i’ve never…done anything like this before."
there, you said it. the words felt strange, vulnerable as they left your mouth. you could see the surprise flicker across oscar’s face, but he didn’t say anything right away. his expression softened, and instead of pulling back, he leaned in closer, gently taking your hand in his.
"you mean…" he trailed off, searching your face.
you nodded, the embarrassment creeping up your neck as you avoided his gaze. "yeah. i’ve never really… i don’t know how to do any of this."
oscar was quiet for a moment, but when he spoke, his voice was soothing, soft. "it’s okay. really, it is. there’s no pressure."
his words were like a balm to the anxiety that had suddenly surged through you. you had feared he’d think differently, but instead, he seemed genuinely relieved, even protective.
"you’re not… upset?" you asked, still unsure, a tinge of self-doubt lingering in your chest.
"upset?" he chuckled, but there was no mockery in his tone—just warmth and reassurance. "not even a little. honestly, i think it’s kind of sweet."
you blinked, surprised by his response. "sweet?"
"yeah," he grinned, his hand coming up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "you don’t have to know everything all at once. i like that you’re willing to take it slow. it makes this… well, it makes this special."
a sense of relief washed over you at his words, your heart lightening. the idea that he wasn’t seeing you as inexperienced or “behind” felt like a weight lifted.
"you’re really okay with this?" you asked, still half-doubting yourself.
"of course," he said softly. "if anything, i’m happy. we’re going to take it at your pace. no pressure."
oscar paused, his gaze searching yours, and you felt his sincerity in every word. the nervous energy you had been holding onto slowly began to dissipate.
you finally met his gaze, his calm eyes locking onto yours as he moved even closer, his hand gently resting on your leg. there was something about the way he was looking at you—something that told you he was as in this moment as you were.
"i want to do this," you said, your voice barely above a whisper but firm. "if i’m going to do this with anyone, i want it to be you."
oscar’s eyes widened slightly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "are you sure?" he asked, his voice soft, almost uncertain despite the way his hand traced small circles on your knee.
you nodded, feeling your heart race in a different way now. "yes. i trust you."
the corner of his lips lifted, and he leaned in slowly, kissing you softly, tenderly. there was no urgency, no rush. just the quiet comfort of two people wanting the same thing in the same moment.
oscar pulled away after a moment, his forehead resting against yours as he breathed deeply. "i’m really glad it’s with you," he murmured.
"me too," you whispered back, feeling completely at ease in his arms.
the moment continued, and while things didn’t escalate immediately, there was no pressure. everything felt right because you were together, and when you were ready, oscar was more than willing to take it slow, to make sure you felt safe, comfortable, and cared for every step of the way.
and when you finally reached that point, it was nothing like you had expected. it wasn’t dramatic or rushed—it was tender, affectionate, and everything you needed.
oscar kissed your forehead, his voice soft as he said, "you did amazing, you know that?"
you smiled, nestled in the crook of his arm. "i think we both did."
and in that moment, you both knew you’d take things as slow as you wanted—together, at your pace, with no rush.
2021-2025 © jungwnies | All rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize, or translate
#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1#f1 instagram au#fanfiction#carlos sainz x reader#f1 fic#max verstappen x reader#lando norris x reader#formula one#f1 smau#f1 fluff#carlos sainz fluff#crack texts#f1#max verstappen#lewis hamilton#carlos sainz#charles leclerc#lando norris#oscar piastri#george russell#charles leclerc x reader#oscar piastri x reader#max verstappen fluff#smau#𐐪♡︎₊˚ ― jungwnies#jungwnies
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spencer and readers first fight ! can you possiblyyyy do something along the lines of spencer said something sassy/petty/mean which results in reader giving spencer the silent treatment and he crashes out begging for her to speak to him 🤓☝🏼
your first fight with spencer genre: slight angst, fluff word count: 1,7k a/n: i've been so excited to write this one! honestly way too long for a drabble, but i hope you enjoy it
“That’s okay. Your mind wouldn’t be able to comprehend a concept like this."
Spencer didn’t understand the gravity of his words before you huffed out a sigh, placing your hands on your knees as you lifted yourself up from the spot next to him on the couch. His eyes followed your body as you walked straight toward your shared bedroom, opening the door before shutting it behind you with a bang. The click of the lock echoed through the now silent living room.
Spencer sat frozen in place, his gaze fixed on the door as if you’d magically reappear in front of him.
Everything about your body language hinted at you being angry, but he couldn’t grasp why. He replayed the situation back in his head in an effort to decipher the reason.
You had cheerfully greeted him when he entered the apartment. He’d been away on a case for several days, not having had the time to speak to you over the phone or give you any updates on how he was doing.
As much as he preferred keeping clear boundaries between his personal and professional life, Spencer couldn’t resist telling you the details of some of his cases when coming home. Not when the psychology behind the unsubs fascinated him so much. And especially not when you eagerly pulled him toward the couch, pushing him down onto the soft cushions as you handed him a cup of freshly brewed coffee, ready to hear about his day.
You sat cross-legged in front of him, eyes twinkling with admiration as he told you about today’s case. He explained how he discovered a pattern in the way the unsub took his captives, using the numbers 11235 — the first five numerals in the Fibonacci sequence.
He noticed the frown forming between your brows as he got into more detail.
“Can you explain that to me? I don’t get it,” you asked.
“That’s okay. Your mind wouldn’t be able to comprehend a concept like this.”
Spencer wasn’t lying. He remembered how his coworkers had blankly stared at him when he analyzed his theory — how Emily made eye contact with JJ, their silent looks saying there he goes again, and how Hotch had to cut him off to tell him to get to the point. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to explain it to you, he just didn’t see the point in doing so, not when he knew this was a connection only he could understand.
After a couple of minutes, there was still radio-silence. Spencer got up and walked to the bedroom, knocking softly on the door. “Angel? Can you open up for me?”
“Just go away, Spencer.”
Your voice cracked, like you had been crying, and the sound made his heart sink.
“Please open the door so we can talk. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“What’s wrong?” Your scoff vibrated through the door. “I don’t even want to talk to you if you can’t understand what’s wrong.”
Spencer swallowed hard, his hands turning clammy. He didn’t like confrontations and especially not with you. You’d never fought before. Rationally, he knew fights weren’t necessarily a bad thing — conflicts usually stemmed from deeper fears and feelings that get triggered, and confronting these feelings could lead to creating an even stronger bond. But right now, all he wanted was to turn back time and make sure those words never left his mouth.
His mind blanked in situations like these, so the only logical fix he could come up with was to call Derek.
“Hey,” Spencer spoke through the phone, balancing the device between his ear and shoulder as he nervously paced through the living room.
“Hey man. What’s up?”
“I messed up.”
Morgan’s chuckle sounded through the speaker. “Our genius making a mistake. Who would’ve thought the day would come?”
Spencer sighed, losing his patience. “It’s serious.”
Derek paused before responding. “Alright, slow down. Tell me what happened.”
Spencer repeated the conversation for what felt like the hundredth time that day, his guilt accumulating with each repetition. He gulped when he heard Derek take a sharp inhale at the other side of the line. He could almost see him shaking his head.
“Okay,” Derek began. “Now listen to me. When it comes down to it, all women are the same, they just need some loving and appreciation. Go buy her some flowers before the store closes.”
Spencer didn’t need to be told twice. He glanced one last time at the still-locked bedroom door before heading out.
Thankfully, Spencer’s apartment was close to downtown. He hurried into the first flower shop that he spotted, his eyes scanning the bouquets until they landed on a pair of bright colored lilies. The outer corners of the petals shone with a radiant shade of pink, fading into a soft white at the center.
He cleared his throat as he placed the flowers on the counter. “Can I have these, please?”
The woman behind the counter started wrapping them in pink paper, reaching out for lint to tie a bow. “Trouble in paradise?”
Spencer blinked, not often experiencing someone seeing right through him. Besides his coworkers. And you.
“Ya know, I see so many men come in here on the daily. You can just tell they got in trouble with their lady; sweating bullets and rushing to pick a bouquet the second before the store closes.” She twirled the bouquet in her hand as she pulled on the strings of the lint bow. “At least you picked a nice one.”
“Do-,” Spencer hesitated, his voice softening in an uncertain whisper. “Will she forgive me after this?”
“Depends on what ya did,” she answered with a lift of her shoulders. “What I can tell you is that flowers don’t do much fixing.”
Damn it, Derek.
The florist turned around, rummaging through a drawer, before pulling out an envelope and sliding it across the counter.
“Write,” she stated in a single syllable. “We need words. We need to know that you care, and we need you to put more effort into it than paying ten dollars.”
With a new plan in mind, Spencer hurried home. The apartment was still silent when he returned, the door firmly closed and no signs of you having left the bedroom. He sighed and made his way to his desk, shoving aside piles of books and papers until he had enough space to write. He opened the envelope the florist had given him, and carefully pulled out a sheet of blank stationary.
My Lover Dearest,
It is ironic that I have read so much poetry and so many books in my life, and yet I cannot find the words to describe how much you mean to me.
Sometimes, I find it difficult to believe that someone as wonderful as you would want to be with me. That I’m allowed to deserve the love that you give me.
My mind works in strange ways, and as much as you’ve praised me for it, it can work as a curse as well. I am scared to overwhelm you, to talk your ears off (which would be a shame, because you have beautiful ears) to the point that you grow tired of me.
I never had the intention to cause you pain, or to initiate that you’re any less brilliant than you are. You are the brightest part of my life. I feel grateful every time I get to talk to you, and I would love nothing more than to explain any concept you’d want me to. I’m sorry for not having understood that before.
I love you. I love you. I have been wanting to tell you this in a special way, please know that I am not just saying this to ask for your forgiveness. I love you.
Sincerely, Spencer
The clock chimed 03.00 a.m. by the time Spencer finished his letter. His hand ached and he could barely keep his eyes open as he stumbled to the bedroom door. He turned the handle, but it wouldn’t budge. With a resigned sigh he slid the letter under the door and sat down against it. It didn’t take long for exhaustion to overtake him.
The repeated knocking of the door against his back woke him.
“Spencer?”
Your voice sounded like a siren, and he instantly scrambled away from the door, allowing you to open it fully.
You stood there, holding the envelope in your hand as your eyes softened when you glanced over him, mouth forming a small oh. “What are you doing here?” you asked in worry.
“The door was locked,” he answered, voice still hoarse from sleep.
A curse escaped your lips as you pressed your hands against your face. “I am so sorry. I must have fallen asleep with the door still locked.”
Spencer’s lips lifted into a small smile, relieved that you hadn’t locked him out intentionally. “It’s okay. Orthopedists actually recommend sleeping on the floor from time to time. Sleeping on a hard surface encourages a more natural position for your spine, which can reduce back pain. It even strengthens certain muscles, so the pressure on your body evens out. As a matter of fact, anthropological studies have shown that-”
He stopped mid-ramble, blushing when he noticed the faint smile tugging on your lips.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’ll stop,”
“Don’t you ever stop,” you replied as you lowered yourself on the ground next to him. You reached for his hands, placing them into your lap.
Spencer’s blush deepened, and he struggled to suppress a grin. Your encouragement reassured him, and he went on about groups in Japan and Tanzania who experience significantly lower rates of back pain due to their minimal use of furniture.
“Spencer,” you gently interrupted after a while.
He blinked at you, seeing the gleam in your eyes as you adoringly stared at him. “Hm?”
“I love you too.”
#loverrequests#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x oc#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds angst#spencer reid criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds one shot
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Annoying Things the 141 Do
Price
Never cleans the sink well after he shaves. Every time you go in the bathroom after he’s trimmed his beard, it’s like walking into a crime scene of a hamster massacre
Always manages to load the dishwasher wrong (because, yes, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it, John)
Asks you to wait for him to get home so you can watch your shows together, but then as soon as you start the first episode, he falls asleep beside you
Smokes his cigars inside sometimes. I don’t care that you sprayed air freshener afterwards, sir. Now the whole house smells like spring meadow and shit!
Is incapable of closing the door behind himself?? At least, that appears to be the case since he’s always leaving your door wide open even though you ask him to shut it when he goes
Doesn’t like throwing things out because he’ll “find a use for it one day”. Even if that day ever does come, I think he has a better chance of finding Atlantis than finding that scrap piece of wood he saved four years ago
Ghost
Turns the TV on and then just… walks away??? And if you try to change it to something else, he grumbles “I was watchin’ tha’” when he comes back
Drinks milk/juice/etc. straight out of the carton. Mr Simon “Patient Zero” Riley might not see the problem with this, but I think the rest of us would agree that is diabolical behavior
Leaves his wet towel on the floor after he showers even though the towel rack is right? there?
Hates asking for help even when he has no clue what he’s doing. Like, sure, I get wanting to fix things yourself. However, I’d rather spend $100 on a simple repair than $1000 on a full replacement after he breaks the thing even more
Puts his phone calls on speaker whenever possible. While this can have its merits sometimes (you get firsthand news of Gaz’s engagement!), most of the time it feels like a nuisance (do you really need to hear Soap talk about his hemorrhoids?)
MANSPREADERRRR! This man cannot sit like a civilized being to save his life. He claims he sits like that because his balls need to breathe, and to that I say good luck trying to breathe after I karate chop you in the throat :))))
Soap
Cuts his toenails in bed, which wouldn’t necessarily be an issue if he didn’t accidentally leave one or two rogue clippings that stab you in the side later when you’re trying to get comfortable
Forgets to put the toilet seat down when he gets up in the middle of the night to pee – that or he pisses all over the seat in the dark. Either way, prepare to have wet cheeks the next time you sit on the toilet
Whenever he doesn’t feel like doing the laundry, he just buys a new set of whatever’s dirty (that’s how he ended up with 100 pairs of socks and 200 pairs of underwear)
Talks nonstop through every show/movie you try to watch. Good luck getting more than five minutes of uninterrupted runtime next to this yapper
Apparently, doesn’t understand what “one bite” means? Whenever he asks you for a bite of your food, he always ends up taking five or six
Also, apparently doesn’t know how to chew with his mouth closed? Like, I’m glad you’re enjoying your meal, Johnny, but can you enjoy it without speckling it all over the table and my face?
Gaz
Two words: bathroom hog. I hope you don’t like taking hot showers or having more than a 6x6 inch square of counter space for your stuff, because after Kyle’s done with his 30-step beauty routine, there’s little of either left
Never knows what he wants to eat for dinner, and no matter what you suggest, he never thinks it sounds good
Has the gall to chastise you for your screen time even though he’s just as bad as you, if not worse (because you being on your phone before bed is so much worse than him playing video games for nine hours straight, right?)
Rests his feet on the couch/bed/coffee table while wearing shoes. It doesn’t matter if they’re brand new or beaten up; take your damn shoes off the furniture, sir!
Never writes down the shopping list because he’ll “remember everything”. (Newsflash: he does not remember everything, which means cue taking a second trip to the store)
Watches one documentary and thinks he’s an expert on the subject. You can have studied a thing for years, can present him with a bunch of rock solid facts and reputable sources, and he’ll hit you with a “Well, actually ☝️🤓” and then proceed to give the most nonsensical take ever
#john price x reader#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#john mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x reader#john price#simon riley#john mactavish#kyle garrick#tf 141 x reader#task force 141 x reader#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#cod mw2#call of duty#modern warfare 2
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New Girlfriend IV
Lucy Bronze x Teen!Reader
Summary: Pokémon card trade night
"Don't," Lucy says as Ona watches her.
"I haven't said anything."
"But you're going to go."
"You're a good mum, Luce," Ona says earnestly," And I know she thinks so too."
"Are you sure you don't want to come with?"
"I just got off a plane. I'll stay here with Narla. Go and bond with your daughter."
"At trade night?" Lucy says in disbelief," And sweaty Pokémon fans? I'll try."
"Yes," Ona laughs," You're a real hero for that."
Lucy shoves on her shoes and coat, leaning up the stairs. "I'm leaving!" She yells," So you're either coming to trade night or I'm going to KFC!"
She waits barely a second before a thump comes from your room, sounding suspiciously like a game controller being flung at a table.
You come sprinting down the stairs, tying the drawstrings of the tracksuits bottoms that you've clearly just shoved on.
"I'm coming! I'm coming! Hi, Ona. I'm coming!"
Ona laughs. "Hi, y/n. Have fun at trade night."
"Mum couldn't convince you to come?"
"I think I'm happy getting over the flight."
"Your loss." You shrug, turning back to Lucy. "So, are we going or not?"
"I hope you're not playing on bringing that mouse with you."
You frown, looking down at the pocket at the very front of your jumper, where Ezio pokes his nose out of.
"I'll..." You laugh nervously. "I'll put him back. Don't leave without me!"
It's not often that you like leaving the house. For school and for Lucy's games and (more frequently now you're back in England) seeing your grandparents.
Most of the time, you don't leave the house because you want to, but rather because you have to.
Except for nights like these, at the local 'nerd shops' as Lucy calls them to trade some Pokémon cards.
"You've got everything?" Lucy checks as she finds a parking space out on the street," You didn't bring all your binders."
"I brought my trade binder and a few of my other sets that I need to fill up."
"Your...trade...binder?"
You roll your eyes, swinging your bag over your shoulder and slamming the car door shut. "Yes, my trade binder. It's got all the cards that are duplicates and I don't mind trading away for other ones."
"I don't get this," Lucy says, hands in her pockets as she walks up to your nerd shop," You don't even play the card game."
"It's not about playing the card game. It's...It's..."
"It's?"
"I just like it, okay? Is that too much to understand?!"
Lucy's teasing smile is wiped off her face. "Hey, no, wait. I'm so-"
"Leave it," You say, shoving past her," I wish Ona were here instead!"
Lucy watches you go in, hand still out and reaching for your shoulder.
People have told her so many times how good she's done at raising you. Your teachers have nothing but glowing remarks. You're smart and studious and you didn't interrupt in class. Perhaps you could talk more but that's not a life ruiner.
Her friends have always said you're polite and you speak well and you don't purposely try to get under their skin. You're nice and you're sweet and you're friendly with everyone.
But Lucy can never fully understand you.
She's always been moving, even as a child. She'd played football for as long as she can remember, always high energy, always going-going-going until she had no more energy to go any longer.
You're not like, not in that way anyway.
You're more reserved and solitary, happy to sit in your room with your gaming consoles and your YouTube videos and your mice.
This card collecting thing had happened when she was still with Keira and away for the weekend. Keira had bought you a pack while at the store and you'd been hooked ever since.
Lucy can't even remember the last time your allowance hadn't been spent on those dumb plastic booster packs. She's never understood it.
Keira used to take the reins on this kind of thing while they were still together so Lucy's way out of her comfort zone when she finally steps inside of the nerd store.
It's more packed than she thought it would be, with people of all ages.
She catches sight of you up ahead. It's hard not to when you're wearing the Assassin's Creed coat she got you for Christmas last year and your binders are kept safe in the Mario Kart backpack you usually use for school.
Lucy fights the crowd to get to you.
"Whoa. Are you Lucy Bronze?"
There's some little kid staring up at her, clutching a binder with wide eyes and their mouth hanging open.
"I am."
"Wow! Can...Can...Mummy! Mummy can you get my Squirtle? I want Lucy Bronze to sign it!" The kid turns back to her. "I don't have my Bronze shirt with me but can you sign one of my cards?"
It's not the weirdest thing Lucy's ever had to sign but it's certainly the weirdest place she'd ever signed anything.
"Sure, kid!"
"Thank you," The mother says as Lucy grabs a pen from a random table. "It means the world to him."
"Mum!"
The pen has just been uncapped when Lucy looks up, stopping everything she's doing to respond to you.
"Yeah, what's up? Are you okay?"
Her eyes rove over you, checking for bumps and bruises but coming up empty.
"You can't sign that!"
"What?"
The little boy's bottom lip wobbles and you nearly push Lucy out of the way to kneel down in front of him.
"You don't want her signing a common card," You tell him," Get her to sign this instead." You produce a card from your trade binder.
It's an illustration rare Squirtle from your Scarlet and Violet 151 set.
The little boy gasps, reaching for the card your offering but his mum stops him.
"This is trade night, Micheal," She reminds him," Give her something in return."
You gave him a grin, sitting cross legged on the floor.
"You got a binder for me to look through?"
The boy nods hurriedly, prying it out of his mother's hands to flip through.
"Which one do you like? Why don't you pick me one out?"
You give the little boy your 151 Squirtle Illustration Rare and he gives you a Paldean Fates common Fidough.
Lucy signs the new Squirtle card with a little frown, waving as the boy and his mother head off.
"Why'd you do that?" She asks, arms over your shoulder so you can't escape again.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"I'm not stupid," Lucy says," I know that was a rarer card. I know you've already got like twelve of the card you got in return. Why'd you do it?"
You shrug. "I don't know. It made him happy. Does it really matter?"
"Yeah but..."
Lucy goes quiet, glancing back at that little boy.
She made him happy by signing his card. You made him happy by giving him one.
You've never asked her why she signs people's jerseys.
Lucy glances back over at you as you trade away cards for new ones and open packs amongst people that are just like you.
Her hand itches to open one with you but it's just a twitch in her fingers. She keeps it by her side though, refusing to interrupt this safe space you've built for yourself.
The staff here know you by name and Lucy doesn't want to ruin that for you.
So, she stays in the background, looking through the shelves and through the bulk items and holding some of your half finished binders of sets that you're yet to complete.
"You looking for anything specific?" One of the staff members asks, leaning against the table as Lucy looks up like she's just been delivered a fairly painful electric shock.
"No!" She says hurriedly, hoping to fade into the background like she's been doing for most of this evening. "No, I mean...er...My kid...?"
The woman laughs. "I get it. First trade night? Kid's excited? You have no idea what's going on?"
"Something like that," Lucy says," My-My ex-partner used to take her to these and my new one's waiting at home for us and I-" She sighs. "I have no idea what I'm doing."
"I get it. First time for anything. So, you looking for yourself or for your kid?"
"For her," Lucy says," I don't know. I'm just looking."
"Well," The woman replies," I'm happy to help any parent out of their depth. Any specific sets or Pokémon?"
Lucy tries to rack her brain for anything you've mentioned specifically before, coming up short for a little while before:
"Eevee?" She asks cautiously," No, not Eevee. The evil Eevee? You know, the black one with the ears and the rings?"
"Umbreon?"
"Yeah, that! She's trying to collect all of them."
"Ah, now that I can help with."
Lucy's hands shake as she approaches you.
You've found a little corner to sort through all your new cards, slipping some of them into binders waiting for only a scant few more.
"Hey," Lucy says, uncharacteristically nervous as you look up at her.
"Hey?"
"I...er..." She clears her throat. "I got you a gift. A few gifts, I guess."
She places her offerings in front of you and you shuffle through them, eyes getting wider and wider.
"You got me a Moonbreon?!"
Lucy finally makes eye contact, alarmed. "No?! I promise I told the girl Umbreon! I'll get you a new one. Crap. I didn't mean to make a mista-"
You crash into her, arms curling around her as she cautiously puts her arms around you as well.
"It's the nickname of the card, Mum," You say," I've been looking for one for ages. It must have been expensive. Thank you."
"Of course, pumpkin," Lucy says," Of course."
You look up at her, searching for something that Lucy hopes she's showing in her eyes.
"Do you...Do you want to open some packs with me?" You look hopeful and Lucy's throat goes dry as she nods.
It's late when you finally look to be winding down and people finally start looking like they're leaving the store.
You snag Lucy's sleeve.
"I..Can you open these for me?"
You hand over two packs.
One's in English.
One's in Japanese.
Lucy frowns.
"These look...old..."
"They are," You admit," It's the base set. Like, first edition."
"These must have been expensive."
You bite at your lip. "I traded away my completed Brilliant Stars set. These are probably worth more but I think the guy who had them just wanted them gone. I..I can't open them myself. Can you?"
"I can. Don't worry."
Lucy fights to keep her hands from shaking as she tears open the packets.
She swipes through each card. They're completely meaningless to her but you freeze.
"Is this good? Godzilla?"
"Charizard."
"Huh?"
"Godzilla's a movie franchise, Mum. That's Charizard."
"Oh, is it?"
You shakily offer her your Japanese packet. "Mum, here."
The second Charizard is in your hand a moment later.
"Whoa!" Lucy laughs," What's with all the hugging today, huh?"
"You're the best," You tell her earnestly," I don't tell you enough but you're the best, Mum."
Lucy smiles at you, kissing the top of your head. "Just want to make you happy."
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I know that this is intended as a joke, but I actually want to talk about this idea fo a second, because I think it's important to understanding a lot of conservative philosophy.
Built in to these ideas is not just the concept of self-evident, innate, immutable characteristics and hierarchies but also the concept of a power or powers determined to subvert them.
Often, this is the Devil, who is trying to undo or subvert God's will because that's what the Devil does. And so any person or group who goes against these biological hierarchies is doing the Devil's work and so must be stopped by violence.
Other times, it's Jews. In a lot of Great Replacement Theory rhetoric, it's not just that people are coming from Latin America to the United States and are going to have a million kids to replace white Americans or whatever, but that they are being brought here. Remember all of the stuff about the caravans and how they were being funded by Soros? Yeah, that's garden variety antisemitism wrapped up in other racism, all based around the idea that Jews have a large-scale plot to replace white Americans with "lesser" and more easily-controlled people so Jews can take over the United States.
This is also the idea behind the "groomers" rhetoric, and before that the "gay agenda". "They" are trying to trick you into having an abortion (and so subverting your inherent role as a mother). "They" are trying to act above their place, because they don't understand the hierarchy, or because they're greedy, or because they're evil. "They" want a weak, unmanly America, or a weak, unmanly military, because they hate America.
I'm assuming OP is talking primarily about gender in their post, but there's a quote from an article I was reading by Michael Feola about the Great Replacement Theory and anxieties about demographic replacement that people might find relevant:
...the anger that animates many of [Arlie Hochschild's] subjects stems from a consistent “deep story”: the economic and social losses of the white subject... are engineered by institutional strategies to promote other groups and cultures over the “native,” white subject. Put differently, these losses are not simply losses, but what has been taken from the white subject and given to others. (Emphasis in original)
Inherent to the idea of these hierarchies (race, gender, ability) is the notion that the people at the top deserve to be at the top, and anyone who is trying to subvert it is trying to steal something from those people at the top. Also built in to much of this philosophy is the idea that the people at the top of these hierarchies has the right to defend the status quo or themselves with violence (a right not afforded to the people below them).
Tl;dr they believe that these hierarchies are self-evident and innate but also that the Devil/Jews/Communists/Those People are trying to subvert it because they're evil or greedy, and that needs to be stopped with violence.
yeah this is a self-evident biological hierarchy. that's why we have to enforce it with violence
#conservatism#i don't study conservatism specifically#but i study domestic terrorism#which involves reading a lot about conservative ideology#if you want more sources let me know
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Eyes of the Gods V
series masterlist - part IV
Pairing: Caracalla x fem!Reader x Geta
Summary: The Emperors are not subtle with their interest in you and others have begun to notice
Warnings: 18+, minors dni, eventual dub-con, power imbalances, mentions of previous domestic abuse, controlling behaviour, forced proximity, obsessive behaviour, unhealthy realtionships, unedited
Word Count: 3.5k
Sleep would not come. You tossed and turned for several hours before giving in and re-lighting the candle. Holding your fingers in the warmth of the flame, you began to contemplate your life.
The candlelight flickered and made you feel like the walls were closing in. In some aspects they already had. The walls had closed in without you even knowing it, so distracted by your own wariness. Now you were here, alone, and in reach of the emperors who had put you here.
How had you been so blind? Your own lack of self worth had made you stupid, disbelieving that the Emperors could have such interest in you. You had floated through those first two days, thinking that at any moment they would drop you, bored, like a forgotten toy. To your knowledge that was what usually happened! You had even see it; limping concubines and abandoned slaves. Instead, whatever was between the three of you had grown and mutated into something you had no hope in understanding.
The Emperors had power, yes, there was no denying it. Yet part of you felt as though you were giving them more. Specifically over you. They had not said you could not leave your rooms. So why stay when sleep insisted on evading you?
Your father had had that kind of hold on you and your mother. The situations were not perfectly similar but you were loathe to think you had allowed another man to control you like that. The thoughts made you feel irrational, made you feel like doing something dangerous.
The flame licked at your finger tips and you hissed, pulling them back to your chest. You knew this palace well. Better than the Emperors, even. You knew all the secret spots, all the ways to sneak around without being spotted. Perhaps it was time to put that knowledge to good use. A tiny rebellion of sorts.
Your mind was made up. If you thought on it too long you would lose all courage. Slipping into your sandals, you tried not to think too hard about what you were doing.
"I am going for a walk in the gardens," you said to yourself, "as I am entitled to do. I have not been told I cannot do otherwise."
The look Geta had given you flashed across your eyes and you squeezed them shut, dismissing him.
Reaching under your mattress, you gave your carved wolf a squeeze and then let go. You mumbled a quick prayed to Fortuna and then slowly opened your door, scanning the corridors before poking out your head.
There was no-one you could see. That did not mean that no-one was actually there; you were too close to the Emperor's chambers for their to be no Praetorians.
Part of you knew you were taking a risk. If you were so confident that you were allowed to leave your room then why did you feel the need to evade the Praetorians?
You scrubbed your sweaty palms down your sleepwear. The plain white wrap would make you a glaring target but your other options were no better. It did not matter; you needed fresh air. Needed to take it without the weight of eyes upon you. The illusion of freedom was better than nothing.
You slipped from your room like a breath in the wind. As expected, the first hallway you came to was lined with Praetorians. You wasted no time in slipping by them, dipping into a stairwell and tip-toeing down.
All you could hear was the pounding of your own heart. The sound made you dizzy and you allowed yourself to stop for a moment, steadying yourself. Trembling, you stumbled down the rest of the stairs under you reached a landing. There were yet more guards but they were looking for people sneaking in, rather than out. Waiting until their backs were turned, you made a mad dash for freedom.
The rest of the way was mercifully quiet. Slowing down, you appreciated the silence. Yours were the one footsteps you could hear. It was funny; that night, when you had first met Caracalla, you had been terrified of these empty halls. Now they curved around you, protective, and you brushed a hand against them in familiarity.
Cool air blasted you when you finally stepped foot outside. You laughed and it was immediately lost to the wind. You were not as weak as you thought. You would do whatever you could to hold onto this feeling of dependence.
The air was biting and made your eyes water. Staying out here for long was not an option. Goosebumps emerged along your arms and thighs as the wind pushed itself under your clothes.
When the gusts softened, you wandered further out. You allowed yourself slow appraisals of all the flowers, most of which you did not recognise. You had had no interest in gardening before but they suddenly felt like the most beautiful thing in the world.
Your past and present slipped from you like water. In this moment, it was only you. You could pretend that you had all the choices in the world.
And you did have choices. It was the consequences that scared you. You wished you could peer into the future and see all the possible answers, all the solutions, and make your mind based on those. But you were no seer; the future was barred from your questioning eyes. You would simply have to wait and go the long way around to see what the future held.
An abrupt sound startled you and you whipped around, eyes searching. At first you thought the garden was empty and you relaxed, releasing your death-grip on your elbows.
A flash of red made your head swim and you stood still, mouth parting. No, you almost moaned, no, no, no.
Gravel crunched underfoot as Geta appeared, rounding a flower bed and jerking to a stop. His cheeks were red despite being dressed warmer than you. His mouth parted at the sight of you and you swallowed hard.
Fortuna, you languished, you have forsaken me.
It took you a moment to realise it was not bad luck or coincidence that Geta had stumbled across you. It was difficult to see them through the myriad of plants but several Praetorians had accompanied Geta to the gardens. It seemed that you had not been quite as subtle as you had thought.
Geta started towards you and you squeaked, not daring to back away. It took only several paces before he reached you, grasping your elbows and yanking you to his chest.
"You," he gaped," what were you thinking?"
He gave you a hard shake to force the answer out of you. He was out of breath, almost gasping, and you were stunned into silence.
"Come," he barked, yanking you back the way he came.
You lurched after him, gravel grazing the tips of your toes. Thought escape you and all you could do was lock your eyes on the back of Geta's robe. The pattern was exquisite and you wondered what it would feel like beneath your fingers.
You expected him to let you go once you were back inside but he did not. He continued to pull you along, barking orders at Praetorians, all the way back to your rooms. Your face crumpled at the sight of it but you did not protest as he wrenched you inside and shut the door, sealing both him and you in.
He swiped a hand over his face, shaking. "Do you have any idea how fortunate you are that it was not Caracalla who stumbled upon your ridiculous little escape plan?"
"I -"
"You are well aware that he has some sort of dependency on you," Geta continued, pacing back and forth, "yet you would abandon him at the first chance you had?"
"No, no," you shook your head, "I wanted only to see the gardens!"
Geta stopped, eying you with disbelief. He looked on edge. He almost reminded you of Caracalla in one of his episodes. The more you learned, the more you realised how similar they were.
"The gardens?" he spat. "In the middle of the night? In the cold?"
You brushed your fingers down your arms, embarrassed. "Yes."
Geta shook his head, eyes flickering all over you. His eyes narrowed as he finally seemed to register what you were wearing. "And in those clothes?"
Nothing you said was going to make him calm down. You let your eyes settle on the floor and thinned your lips.
"You could have asked," he finally said, shoulders sagging inward.
"Asked?"
"To see the gardens," he threw his hands into the air. "I would have had someone accompany you. You could not comprehend the trouble you have caused tonight."
"What right do I have to ask for anything?" you said, shocked. "I am a servant, barely more than a slave."
Geta studied you in that way you had become almost used to. His mouth worked, opening and closing several times before settling into a fine line.
"Yes," he agreed, "and you will obey your emperors. You are not to leave your room till morning and we will have someone fetch you when we are ready. Goodnight."
He turned to your bed and yanked up the sheet, throwing it upon you before exiting from the room. He slammed the door shut and you stood in stunned silence, frozen until you heard the deathly sound of a lock sliding shut.
"No," you murmured at first, then quickly got louder. "No, don't!"
Your emotions spilled out of you all at once. Throwing yourself against the door you began to pound upon it. Geta was still outside; you could see his shadow lingering beneath the door.
"Please," you begged, "I am sorry, Emperor, please."
The shadow disappeared as though it had never been there. Choking on your own tears, you rested your forehead against the wood, fists aching. You let out one long, primal scream and then fell back, yanking the covers over your head and angrily wiping your tears away with the back of your hand.
You fell asleep like that, hands clenching the covers and cursing whatever Gods had pushed this fate upon you.
True to his word, Geta did send someone the next morning. A Praetorian soldier opened the door and peered in, cringing at your rumpled form on the bed.
"I am Consus," he said reluctantly. "The Emperors have sent me to retrieve you."
You scowled at the innocent man, dragging your body from the sheets. Your head was pounding and there were multiple spots on your hands where the skin had cracked and bled from your pounding on the door.
You were still in your bed clothes. Dirt stained the bottom and there were smears of blood dotted all over it.
"I need to get ready," you grumbled.
"That. . .will not be necessary," the guard said. "You will be relieved of your usual duties today but you must accompany me to the emperors."
Usual duties, you thought, whatever those were. But you were in no mood to argue so you stomped into your sandals and trailed after Consus. Whatever fight you had left had been squeezed out of you late last night. Now there was only the stinging of your hands and aching of your head.
It took less than two minutes to reach Geta's quarters. You had been foolish to think he would not learn of your brief dash for freedom.
Consus held open the door and announced your presence to the room. No-one had ever done that before. You had not been important enough.
You held your head up as much as you could and entered the room. Caracalla was the first to see you. It was almost comical the way his grin dropped from his face.
He stood up so fast that Dondus squeaked and leapt from his shoulder. He stormed over to you and cupped your hands in his, turning them over again and again as though he could not believe what he was seeing.
"What is this?" he was horrified. As though he had not caused worse injuries and found amusement in them.
"Brother," he snapped, "look. Someone has - someone has -"
Geta finally looked up. Despite being the last to see you, he was also stunned by your appearance. He swallowed harshly and stood straighter.
"She had a rough night, brother," he attempted to soothe Caracalla. "The healer is on the way."
His eyes told you not to say anything. You would not. There was no telling how Caracalla would react if he learned the truth of your escapade last night. Even though you had not truly tried to escape, it only mattered that Geta thought you had.
Caracalla yanked a hand through his hair. "Brother -"
"Enough," Geta raised his voice. "She is hurting. Let her sit."
The words seemed to do something to Caracalla and he steered you to a plush sofa, pulling you down so that you were half on his lap. You had no will to try to move and only sagged, letting Caracalla's hands wander over you.
It was strange how his jerky movements almost soothed you. Perhaps you were only glad for the company, having spent majority of last night confined to your quarters.
"Where does it hurt?" he whispered, eyes fixated on the darkened blood on your clothing.
"My head," you admitted, "and my hands."
Caracalla dusted careful fingers over your temples before turning his attention to your hands. He brought them to his face and kissed your palms. Your eyes welled from the soft touches. He murmured sweet nothings, brows furrowed as he took in your injuries. The smaller they were, the more they hurt. You sucked in a breath when his tongue darted out and swiped over a cut.
Consus appeared in the door once more, this time announcing the healer. The gentleman walked in, holding a leather bag that clinked with ointments and creams.
"Leave them and get out," Caracalla demanded, becoming louder when the man stalled. "Out!"
You would have felt pity for the man on any other day. He shrugged the bag from his shoulder and left it on a table, backing out of the room with his hands held up.
To your surprise it was Geta who retrieved the bag, handing it carefully to his brother. He eyed you in the way he often did and you held his gaze. Something like guilt flickered over his face but it was gone before you could analyse it.
Caracalla busied himself with the contents of the bag. He held up an expensive looking jar of cream and set it aside before picking up something much more recognisable - a small bottle of alcohol.
He popped the cork off. "This will sting."
You gasped and tried to yank your hands away but Caracalla held them steady as he dribbled small amounts of the liquid onto your palms. He used his own clothing to wipe away the traces of blood as if was nothing.
The cream was better. He dabbed it onto your cuts, glancing up at your face to gauge your reaction. You tried not to dwell to much on the fact that an Emperor of Rome was treating your superficial wounds.
"Better?" he asked.
"Better," you nodded. "Thank you, Emperor."
He looked over his shoulder and then back at you before leaning in to whisper, "You can address me as Caracalla."
A lump lodged itself in your throat. How many times had Caracalla been treated for his own injuries that he knew how to treat you for yours?
"What truly happened last night?" he asked you, careful to make sure Geta could not hear.
"Emperor Geta locked me in my room," you answered honestly.
Caracalla thought about it for a moment. "It is better that way," he decided. "It keeps you safe. Don't you want to be safe for us?"
Of course. Caracalla was no different to his brother though you could not pretend to understand their emotions or motivations.
Geta was watching the pair of you. He looked down when you noticed, pretending to be ensconced in his paperwork. Ignoring you just as he did last night when he left you screaming in your room.
You spent the whole day laying about in Geta's chambers. Caracalla doted on you, feeding you bits of food and checking on your wounds.
The more he touched you the harder it was to pull away. His touches got firmer, bolder; the back of your neck, your arms, even your thighs when you shifted. His eyelids grew heavier and heavier until it was impossible to ignore the blatant way he was panting over you.
And it was not as though you were immune to his caresses.
After a few hours of torture, Geta turned his attention back to you.
"There is a gathering tonight," he said, "you will get ready."
"And what am I to do at this gathering?" you boldly asked.
Geta pulled you from the plush cushions by your wrist. He leaned in close. "You are going because I cannot trust you enough to leave you alone. Do not complain; it is unbecoming of a young lady such as yourself."
His mocking tone sent a spike of anger through you. You deigned not to respond. Such blatant disrespect was stupid but you were still unfathomably angry that he had locked you away. You wanted to say that he had no right but, as Emperor, he did. Geta and Caracalla could do anything they wished and you were constantly reminded of it.
Geta pointed you to some clothes hanging up on a privacy screen. He dragged Caracalla away so you could change in peace - an apology of sorts? You yanked on the clothing and tried to let your temper cool. It would do you no good to have an attitude in the presence of others.
Once more you were back in the entertainment hall. Geta had you stationed by a wall, offering cups to anyone who wanted one. It was obvious you had been placed there only because it kept you firmly in his sight.
After an hour you found yourself feeling calmer, taking purpose in your small task. The familiarity made you at ease and you were able to put the Emperors to the back of your mind.
They were surrounded by concubines and tittering senators. A woman was perched on the cushions behind Geta, rubbing a hand on his shoulder and occasionally allowing it to dip beneath his clothing. Geta met your eyes across the room and leaned back, allowing her further contact.
The concubines were having a difficult time with Caracalla. He would relax into their forward touches and then suddenly jerk forward, shoving them away and screaming obscenities. You had never seen him quite so wild at a gathering; it was known that Caracalla enjoyed parties and was most approachable during them.
The concubines did not know what to do with themselves. Breaking point was reached when one dared to slip his hand beneath Caracalla's tunic. Immediately Caracalla was upon the man, hands flying in every which direction and beating him to a near pulp.
How was this the same man who had so softly attended to you earlier? Your anger seeped away and was replaced by familiar fear. What would it take for him to turn on you like that?
Praetorians approached and dragged the concubine away. The party continued as though nothing at happened. These people cared not for the lives of those below them.
Caracalla's eyes darted about the room. Searching for you, no doubt. You recoiled into the wall and shrank in on yourself, desperate to go unnoticed.
Someone did spot you, but it was not Caracalla. The master of gladiators gave you a predators smile and sauntered over, plucking a cup from the tray you were holding.
Something about Macrinus unnerved you. His smile was open enough but you did not trust the man. That had never mattered before when you were a simple servant in the kitchen but now. . .
"It is you," he smiled teasingly, bumping you with his elbow.
You recoiled at the unwanted touch. "I'm sorry?"
"You," he repeated, " who has enamoured the emperors and now takes up so much of their time."
Something cold slithered into your stomach. You did not like Macrinus - did not like that this man knew so much about you.
"I. . .do not know what you are speaking of," the lie caught in your throat but you pushed it out anyway.
Macrinus laughed, loud and cold. "I think you do."
At that moment Caracalla appeared, wrapping his hand around your elbow and exposing the lie you had told.
"I want to leave," he grumbled, "come now."
He uttered a tense greeting to Macrinus and dragged you from the room. You went willingly, thankful for any distance between yourself and the master of gladiators and his sharp smile.
Caracalla was rougher than usual as he tugged you along. This time to his chambers. He kept looking over your shoulder and muttering to himself, yanking you closer and closer until you were almost tripping over each other. You were not overly alarmed; you had faith that you would be able to pacify him.
Your mind was preoccupied with your brief meeting with Macrinus. The emperors made you uneasy but it was nothing to do with the sickening feel Macrinus evoked in you.
Authors Note - This might be my favourite chapter yet idkkkk - please let me know what you think! Please like, comment, reblog if you enjoyed and don’t be afraid to send asks because they are my favourite thing
taglist - @only4thefics @doodle-with-rhy @lover-rep-fanfic @claraisme23 @sashaphantomhive @multifandombtch @t6gse370
@merrymunsons @europixie @prestinalove @malfoycassimalfoy @jovial-cowboy @akamitrani @bocreep @justasmallbean @moompie @duckyhowls @justlibra @mama-frog @fionaapplelover2010
#emperor caracalla x reader#emperor geta x reader#fred hechinger#emperor caracalla#joseph quinn#emperor geta#eyes of the gods#gladiator 2#gladiator ii#banners by enchanthings
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Shopping-Jude Bellingham
Wearning: +18,smut
It was a mild Saturday afternoon, perfect for a stroll downtown. Jude had offered to accompany you shopping, even though you were sure he was doing it more to spend time with you than out of any real interest in the stores. Not that you minded; his presence made everything more enjoyable.
You walked into a bright boutique, mirrors reflecting rows of elegant dresses. You glanced around, fascinated by the variety of colors and fabrics, while Jude leaned against the wall near the door, arms crossed and a slight smile on his face.
“So, where do we start?” he asked, his voice calm but tinged with amusement.
You looked at him, unsure. “I don’t know… Maybe something elegant but not too formal. Like a dress that works for a night out or a casual lunch.”
Jude nodded, stepping forward. “Alright, let’s see what we can find.”You picked up a navy-blue dress with a delicate neckline and held it up for him to see. “What do you think about this one?”
“It’s nice,” he said, tilting his head to get a better look. “But maybe a bit too simple for you. You need something that stands out more.”
You smiled, appreciating his comment. The two of you continued browsing the store, and every time you picked up a dress, he had something to say:
“Too short.”
“Too long.”
“This one looks like it’s from an old movie—not in a good way.”
Eventually, you found two options you really liked: a fitted scarlet red dress and a flowing emerald green one. Turning to him, you held both dresses up. “Now what?”
Jude burst out laughing. “Ah, here we are. The moment of great indecision. I knew this was coming.”
You looked at him, pretending to be offended. “That’s not true! I’m just trying to choose the right one.”
He rolled his eyes, still smiling. “You always take forever to pick. I’ll never understand why it’s so difficult for you.”
You stuck your tongue out at him playful. “Well, excuse me for wanting to make sure I look good.”He chuckled. “There’s no need to worry about that. Believe me, you’ll look stunning in anything you choose.”
The compliment surprised you and warmed your cheeks slightly. He glanced at you as you walked over, his eyes wandering over your frame, lingering on your curves a moment longer than necessary. His arms were still crossed, his casual pose not doing anything to quell the desire that flared through you.You sit on his lap and kiss his jaw softly. “I haven't thanked you yet for joining me shopping,” you say seductively.
He hummed, his eyes fluttering shut as your lips graze his skin. He placed his hands on your hips, holding you still above him. “It was my pleasure,” he mumbled, his grip tightening.
You smile at his words and kiss his lips. He responded quickly and his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer as his mouth moved against yours. He tugged on your lower lip with his teeth, coaxing a soft gasp out of you.
His strong hands were slowly roaming around your backside, tracing over the curve of your waist and down to your thighs. He pulled back, his breathing already a bit faster. “You know, it’s quite tempting to have you here, all to myself in this small room.”
You smile mischievously at his words and trace your fingers over his muscular shoulders. "From what I remember we've never done that in a dressing room."
A smirk spread across his face as he chuckled slightly. “No, we haven’t. But, I’m sure it’s something we should fix, don’t you think?” His hands pulled your hips even closer, making your legs straddle his. You bite your lip and nod.
“That’s my girl,” he whispered, his voice a low rumble against the skin of your neck. His lips gently grazed over your collarbone, moving in a hot trail along your flesh. He slipped his hands under the material of your dress, teasing the skin of your thighs.
You moan softly in response so as not to attract attention. “We should hurry” you whisper hearing the voices of the girls who are waiting for the dressing room to be free.
His smirk grows wider at your words “Right, wouldn’t want anyone to walk in and find us like this,” he said with a quiet chuckle, his hands massaging into your hips. “But it’s just so hard to stop when you look this beautiful.”
“I didn't say you had to stop,” you whisper seductively, getting up off of him, undressing.
He watched you, a look of desire and want in his dark eyes as you began undressing. His hands grip the chair, tight, as if it’s the only thing keeping him from pouncing you. “You can be naughty when you want to be, love,” he murmured, his voice rough with held-back cravings.
You smile in amusement and give him a striptease while taking off your bra and thong.
He sat back and watched you, his eyes drinking up every movement of your body. His fingers were white from gripping the chair so hard, his breathing growing heavier. “God, you’re incredible,” he breathed, his gaze roaming slowly over your bare skin.
You smile mischievously and sensually approach him and begin to undress him. He leaned back, watching you with a darkened gaze as you began unbuttoning his shirt. His hands remained restrained, fingers digging into the fabric of the chair as your touch roamed over his skin. “You're teasing me, love,” he whispered, his voice growing deeper.
Your fingertips gently caressed his chest, tracing the firm planes of muscle. He let out a soft sigh as you continued to explore, taking your time as you made your way down his body. He was clearly enjoying the effect you had on him, the desire in his eyes growing with each passing second.
You kiss him sensually as you position your pussy on his cock and let it enter you. He responds hungrily, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you closer as you sink down onto him. His hands run up your back, holding you tight against his chest. “You’re killing me,” he mutters against your lips, his mouth then trailing hot kisses along your jawline and down your neck.
You try to moan softly as you begin to ride him. He groans against your skin, his grip on you tightening. He looks up, his eyes dark with desire and lust as he watches you riding him. “You feel incredible,” he whispers in your ear, his breath warm against your sensitive skin. His hips begin to move with you, matching your rhythm.
“so good love” you murmur as you feel Jude push into you harder. You bite his neck to keep from moaning.
He lets out a low moan at your words, and the bite on his neck sends shivers down his spine. His hands grip your hips, guiding you as he pushes up into you harder. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me”.
You try not to moan loudly as you feel his thrusts increase. “Jude” you moan holding yourself tight.
He responds instantly to the sound of his name, a primal noise rising from his chest. He looks up at you, his eyes meeting yours in a fierce look of desire and wanting. “Yeah, love?” he asks, his voice a rough whisper as he continues to move with you.
"I'm close" you murmur moaning. He nods at your words, his breathing heavy and irregular. “So am I,” he pants, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips. “Together?” he asks, his lips finding your neck again. The heat between you is nearly scorching, the air thick with tension.
You nod, closing your eyes in pleasure. He groans as he feels you tighten around him, the sensation pushing him over crazy. “you’re squeezing my cock” Jude moans and pushes into you more.
He holds you close, his arms wrapping around you as he holds you tight against his chest. His breathing is heavy, his heart racing from the release. “God, you’re amazing,” he whispers, his face buried in your hair.
You moan and come on him and Jude comes inside you. He tightens his grip on you as he finds his release, a soft moan escaping his lips. He remains still, his head leaning against yours as he regains his breath. “You’re incredible, you know that?” he murmurs, his fingers tracing small patterns on your back.
“But we should probably clean up and get dressed before someone figures out what we did in here,” he chuckles softly, slowly shifting back.
You chuckle and nod. "yes you are right"
He grins, gently helping you off his lap and zipping up his pants. He runs a hand over his hair, trying to tame the messy spikes it had taken on. “They are definitely going to wonder what took us so long,” he says with a smirk, glancing at the clock on the wall.You smile.
He hands you your clothes, still watching you with a heated look in his eyes. “Just a shame we had to stop,” he remarks, his gaze wandering over your body as you began to get dressed
“You’re making it very difficult to behave.” he says, watching you slip the dress back over your head. “I swear, the second we get home I’m picking up where we left off.”
You smile and give him a quick but sweet kiss on the lips. "let's go come on".Jude returns the kiss with a smile of his own, his hand finding your waist. "Lead the way, love. The quicker we can get out of here, the better," he says, still watching you with dark, wanting eyes
You giggle and grab his hand, dragging him outside. Jude lets you lead him out of the store, a smile still on his face. He couldn't help but watch you, admiring the way your hair fell and how the dress clung to your figure.As you walk, he keeps a firm grip on your hand, his fingers intertwined with yours. You could feel the heat between you still there, even outside the store.
God, you loved that man.
#jude bellingham smut#judes hoe😚#football fanfic#jude bellingham#jude bellingham imagine#smut imagine#football imagine#footballer fanfic#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagines#jude bellingham blurb#jude bellingham angst#jude bellingham fluff#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham x fem!reader#jude bellingham x you#jude x reader#judeswifey#jb5 x reader#jb5#sexy footballers#hot footballers#english footballers#football blurb#football one shot#footballer imagine#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#footballer#footballer x you
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𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄?
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 | none, just future brother-in-law! dick grayson reassuring your boyfriend!JasonTodd that it's the perfect time to ask you that special question. Edited but please ignore any errors. Enjoy!!
"What if she says no?"
"Pfft, I doubt it."
"What if she's not ready, though? You think it's too soon?"
"You've been dating for five years now, Jay, I think you're both more than ready for this." Dick says resting his forearms on his thighs. He leans forward to observe his little brother's nervous behavior. Pondering deeply and silently, he stared at the red velvet box held in his hand. Eager to ask the question he's been anticipating for a while now.
Marriage was never on his bucket list. It was never something he looked into doing but damn did he love you, you were his only exception. It took time for him to get used to the romantic stage in his life.
It took him at least a good 3 months for him to trust you before he felt comfortable opening up to you, dates were consistent, your schedules were aligned perfectly!... unless he had a long distance mission to take care of then it'd be awhile before you heard from him, but you weren't too worried about it. You understood from the very beginning his job wasn't anything to be taken lightly, he worked under intense, dangerous conditions. And though you were curious to know, you never pushed him to tell you. Which he was grateful for, your patience with him was everything to him.
It took a year...or two to fully tell you about his past and who he really was. It all made sense now why this mysterious "red hood" randomly came out of nowhere. The vigilante would frequently make sure you made it home safely. It was him, making sure his babygirl wasn't in any danger. I love you's were shared, the intimacy between you two was different, it changed drastically and it felt amazing. You knew how to calm him down when his mind was out of touch with reality. You both knew how to communicate with each other, knew when to give each other space, and acknowledged that you both were present whenever the other was feeling down.
A year later, you two had moved in together in a condo and bought two pets. You finally meet his family and vice versa. And now, coming up on five almost six years? It felt like marriage was the next step. He decided a long time ago, married or not, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. You were the only reason he was living day by day so it would only make sense to have you by his side permanently right?
Life would be meaningless without you.
Rejection wasn't something he could handle and just the idea of you... possibly...
Dick sighs, scooting closer to him.
"Look, she loves you, you love her. She knows...you would live and die for her, Jason. Get on your hands and knees to worship the ground she walks on. She knows damn well... you would drop everything just to come for her rescue. She balances you out, Jay. You two are meant to be and I believe as your supportive brother and hopefully your best man, this is the perfect time to do this."
Jason looks at him with heartfelt eyes, watching as a small smile of reassurance curls into the corner of Dick's lips as he holds onto his shoulder with a tender grip.
Jason sighs, closing his eyes for a moment and nods in understanding. Feeling a little bit confident with his decision.
"Yeah...you're right."
"Heh, I know I am." He states cockily, leaning back into the couch with a smirk and his hands behind his head and leg crossed over the other, rested on the coffee table.
Jason rolls his eyes in amusment, taking the small box in his hand, he placed it in the pocket of his camo pants, standing to his feet.
His movements were slow as he approached the open window. Placing his helmet back on, he had one foot out and the other in, contemplating on his next words, he looks over to his brother and says, "thanks, Dick...for everything." Before leaving out into the moon lit city to return to you.
And with a content sigh, Dick smiles, mumbling, "You're welcome, brother."
𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃
𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐋 ©𝐦𝐭𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐬 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓
#mtcloud's thoughts#black writers#mtcloudsworld#black fem reader#black fanfic writer#black fanfiction#jason todd fluff#jason todd and dick grayson#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd x reader#jason todd x black!reader#jason todd x fem!reader#jason todd#red hood x black!reader#red hood x reader#red hood x you#red hood#red hood x y/n#dc comics x black!reader#dc comics x you#dc comics x reader#dc comics fluff#dc comics#dick grayson#black!fem!reader
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@crazy-1201 had this to say:
"I feel like the series really pulled a dues ex machina in order to avoid Aang having to make any actual sacrifices and to hand Katara to him in the end because that was what HE deserved- but I really don’t think the writers considered the female gaze, or her arc as an individual up until that point.
And I don’t mean that to disrespect Aang. He’s a sweet boy, and he does care about Katara, and he has matured some over the series- but not in the way I think she needed or made sense for HER.
They both showed much more potential for growth had they not gotten together at the end, or had it been ambiguous. Katara is a teen thrust into adulthood while Aang is still a prepubescent child she’d spent most of the series caretaking in some capacity, and as someone who has been a teen girl I can say that that would just not fly. The age gap isn’t large, but during adolescence two years is HUGE, especially when it comes to girls because there is such a gap in expectation and mental maturity.
Aang was wise in many ways but he was a child who latched onto the first girl to show him compassion and consistently disregarded her own feelings on the situation, even if not intentional. He did not understand how to give her space and her confusion, and he did not understand her responsibilities and her grief.
I like Zuko and how his arc parallels her, and how he gave her support without her having to carry him as well- but even without Zuko, Aang does not feel right for Katara, and definitely not at that time.
Aang liked Katara as his,
But Katara needed someone who understood her as an independent and fierce woman- and to me that was always Zuko."
💯
It's a bit buried in the comments and I liked/appreciated it, so... copying, @ing them for credit, and reblogging.
I just watched Avatar for the first time all the way through, and yeah, it’s great, but the one thing that surprised me was how different Katara was compared to the fandom interpretation I’d seen and internalized before watching.
Like, before you watch Avatar, you’ve seen all these memes about Katara and her mom, and based on those memes, you assume it’s one of those lines you have to get used to hearing at least once every episode. But then you watch the show and realize that she only talks about her mom maybe five or six times per season and you also realize she only brings her up when she’s trying to comfort someone or empathize with them because that’s how she processes her grief and that’s one way she connects with people.
Or you hear the infamous line, “then you didn’t love [our mother] the way I did” and you prepare yourself for one of the worst character assassinations ever only to see the scene after nearly three seasons worth of context and realize she was kinda right. She’s been the mother, the nurturer, the comforter. She’s been patient, gentle, and accommodating where everyone else has gotten to be insensible and reckless and childish, and the one moment where she allows herself to feel her grief, suddenly she’s this evil bitch and not, y’know, a 14 year old girl whose been thrusted into adulthood in a way no other character has. A 14 year old girl who should be allowed immaturity and raw emotion and anger instead of the patience and grace she’s been forced to extend to every character without even the smallest amount of gratitude or even consideration in return.
Or you see all of the clips where Katara puts Aang in the “friendzone” and you expect to have this wishy washy back and forth where Aang is putting his feelings out there only to have Katara neither commit nor express any clear reciprocation or rejection. Then you watch and realize that, as cute as the ship is initially, that there’s never a point where Aang returns any comfort or grace to Katara despite her always doing this for him to the point of coddling. That for as much as Aang says he loves her, he never seems to outgrow his perception of her so he can recognize her as someone who feels grief, anger, and pain as much as she expresses love, kindness, and maturity. And instead of having moments where he learns to see her beyond her strength or compassion, you’re instead given moments where Aang forces his feelings onto her, both romantic and non-romantic, and Katara is expected to just…shoulder those feelings the way she shoulders everyone else’s.
Katara is the most misunderstood character in the show. As much as people recognize the complexities of Zuko, Sokka, and Azula, they struggle to do the same for Katara because they see her struggles as somehow lesser, and therefore, less deserving of sympathy. They can handle her so long as she’s being endlessly patient and loving and kind, but the moment her endless love, patience, and kindness runs out, she’s suddenly this annoying bitch who can’t shut up about her mother or reciprocate Aang’s feelings. But Katara’s trauma does matter as much as anyone else’s. No, she wasn’t banished from her kingdom. No, she didn’t lose her entire community, and no, she isn’t the only one who lost her mother. But the difference between her and everyone else whose experienced loss because of the Fire Nation is that she’s never given time to process her trauma. Aang gets to lean on Katara constantly. Toph gets to express her feelings to Katara, and yeah, Sokka also lost their mother, but unlike Katara, he isn’t put in the position of being a substitute for everyone’s parent. He even admits that he sees his sister as a mother. The only characters who ever comfort Katara or allow her to vent is Zuko and her father and that’s, like, three scenes in a show where the other characters are consistently given opportunities to seek out Katara for unconditional support.
The fandom interpretation of Katara has been so bastardized that even those who haven’t watched the show know her for this fanon version and not for who she is. She’s such an interesting character beyond her fandom limitations, though. She’s brave, hot-headed, and hopeful as well as gentle and caring. She wishes to learn waterbending, not only because she wants to fight in the war, but because she wants to continue her culture’s practices because, and people often forget this, she also lost an entire subculture within her already fractured tribe. And she wants to defeat the Fire Nation both because of her deep love and empathy for other people, but also because she wants to avenge her mother. But because some of the fans have reduced Katara to a bitch who constantly whines about her mother and friendzones Aang, you wouldn’t know any of this, and it sucks because she’s the only character whose been dumbed down to such an extent.
#atla#zutara#katara#characterization#character analysis#character breakdown#critical thinking#thinkingtoohardaboutmedia
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i'm your JJ ✧
cw: JJ x Kie's sister!reader, fluff, slight allusion to sex, happy ending !
summary: JJ cant avoid his feelings for his friend's sister anymore. inspired by this request.
a/n: this lowkey so cute thanks i started kicking my legs while writing LMAO hope this is what u expected anon <3
You were just grabbing a glass of juice and making your way back to your room when your sister, Kie, stormed into your room behind you.
"I'm having JJ over tonight. Don't come out of your room."
"It's my house too. I'll come out if I want to" you shot back.
"Just don't, okay? you're annoying enough as it is" she replied, rolling her eyes as she walked out.
time jump
you buried yourself in your pillows trying your best to drown out the sound of the movie playing downstairs. you could faintly hear your sister make excuses to JJ about why you weren't hanging out with them, claiming you "weren't feeling well". The lie made you want to storm down and snap at her, but every time you reached for the door handle, Kie's words struck you like an alarm clock, the words froze you for a reason you couldn't quite discern and sent you back to your bed where you resumed trying to muffle the sounds of the tv.
suddenly, there was a knock at your bedroom door, you half-expected Kie to be on the other side, ready to take more shots at you but you were surprised to see JJ, he softly opened the door, searching for your face in the messy room. As soon as he spotted you, he rushed over and sat on your bedside, his hands gently reaching for your face.
"Hey, mama. how you feelin'?"
"Shouldn't you be downstairs with Kie?" you replied sarcastically.
"Don't answer my question with another question y/n. besides, your sister can handle herself for a little while. I'm here to check up on you, babycakes" he said, smiling at you as his hands combed through your hair.
You couldn’t help but smile at the nickname. "Thanks for checking up on me, JJ, but I’m fine. I just wanted to stay in my room today" you replied softly.
You didn't quite understand why you were covering for Kie. Maybe a little part of you felt guilty for feeling what you felt for JJ, especially since you knew Kie had a thing for him. She made it painfully clear, dropping hint after hint, but somehow, JJ seemed oblivious. His attention never strayed toward her. His eyes were always on you, never missing an opportunity to admire you, darting to you every time a joke left his lips.
Your train of thought was interrupted by JJ's calloused hand stroking your cheek.
"You're not really a 'stay in' kind of a person, mama. Tell me what's wrong, you know you can tell me anything. I'm your JJ"
You shot him a wry smile, "You're cute, JJ"
"You're just stating the obvious, baby" he quipped, flashing one of those smirks that always made your stomach flip.
"Why do you even wanna know what's wrong? You want me or something?" you teased.
"You have no idea how much I want you" he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
"What?" Your eyes widened. Did he just say he wants you?
"Just come on down, babycakes" he said, cutting off any chance for a reply as he slipped his hands under you, lifting you bridal style. Before you knew it, he was carrying you downstairs.
You felt Kie's eyes boring holes into your back as JJ placed you on the couch beside Kie, pulling a blanket over you and settling in beside you. Your heart raced, waiting for an outburst to tear its way through your sister, knowing how much this must be killing her.
The three of you quietly settled in to watch the movie. That is, until you noticed JJ’s hand slowly inching closer to yours, eventually resting on top of it, his thumb occasionally swiping across the back of your hand.
As the movie went on, your mind wandered, You couldn’t help but notice how close JJ really was to you, his hand on top of yours, his knee brushing yours, his shark tooth necklace rising up and down on his chest with every breath he took.
An idea popped into your head, The movie wasn’t all that interesting anyway, it wouldn't hurt to spice it up now, would it?
you slipped your hand from under his and scooted closer, thigh pressing against as his. His breath hitched as you adjusted your blanket to cover his legs before resting your hand on his thigh, dangerously close to the growing tent in his shorts.
"Y/n" he whispered, voice strained, not daring to look at you.
"Hm?" you responded feigning innocence, as you moved your hand higher before abruptly pulling it away and standing up.
"I'm gonna get more popcorn" you declared, only then noticing that Kie had fallen asleep in her spot.
Grinning to yourself, you made your way to the kitchen, thoughts of JJ swirling in your mind. You were rummaging through the cabinets when you heard JJ’s heavy breathing behind you.
"What was that, Y/n"
"What was what?"
"You know what I'm talkin' about, mama." he growled, his tone low and agitated as his hand snaked around your waist pulling you into him.
"Don't do that again " he murmured, pressing a small kiss to your hair before walking back to the living room.
Your face flushed as you stood there, stunned. The difference between the JJ who had come to your room earlier and the man that had just pulled your ass into him excited you. He wasn't usually this bold with you, but lately his resolve seemed to be breaking and his control was faltering, his obsession with you becoming harder for him to hide. Not that it was ever really hidden.
Finally, you found the popcorn and returned to the living room. The rest of the night passed in relative silence, with only quiet glances exchanged between you and JJ.
When it was time for him to leave, he shot you a smirk and gave Kie a quick side hug before heading out the door. You made your way to your room and flopped onto your bed, only to hear a knock on your window moments later.
It was JJ, with a shit eating grin plastered to his face. You opened the window to let him in.
"JJ? I thought you left-"
Before you could finish, his lips were on yours.
Pulling away slightly, he looked into your eyes. "I couldn't leave without kissing you, I can't pretend no more, baby. I need you"
You smiled, pulling him back in for another kiss. You’d been waiting for this moment for so long. He slowly led you to your bed, laying you on your back as he climbed on top, his hands rested on your sides, as he deepened the kiss, his knee between your legs, teasing you.
You cupped his face, pulling it back to look at him. "What am I gonna tell Kie?"
"Tell her I’m your JJ."
check out my other works ! masterlist
#jj maybank#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank smau#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x y/n#jj outer banks#obx smau#jj maybank x you#jj x reader#outerbanks smau#jj maybank fanfiction#obx x reader#jj obx fic#jj obx imagine#jj obx#obx fic#jj maybank smut#reader insert#obx fanfiction#jj maybank imagines#outer banks#obx x y/n#obx x you#obx jj maybank#jj maybank fluff#bbyg4rlfavs
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hii maybe a yandere!junho ?? I cant stop thinking about him 😩 i love your writing btw💕
𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 | hwang jun-ho × fem!reader
summary | you wake up restrained in a small room, facing jun-ho, who reveals his obsessive love for you. his yandere tendencies surface as he believes he's protecting you from the world. you must navigate his dangerous devotion and find a way to escape
warnings | junho!yandere, kidnapping/restraint, psychological manipulation
word count | 2.1 k
author's note | it would help me a lot if you liked, commented and reposted so that more people read what I write and don't forget to follow me, thanks ᡣ𐭩
You wake up with a start, the cold floor chilling your bones. It’s hard to remember how you got here. The faint flicker of a hanging light bulb illuminates the room. It’s a small, almost claustrophobic space, with gray concrete walls. In front of you, sitting on an old metal chair, is him: Jun-ho. His dark eyes watch you with an intensity that makes you shiver.
"Finally awake," he says in a serene voice, but it’s loaded with something else, something unsettling. "Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment?"
You try to speak, but your throat is dry. Your voice barely comes out as a whisper.
"What… what’s going on?"
He smiles, and the gesture should comfort you, but there’s something strange in his eyes, something you’ve never seen before.
"I saved you," he replies, leaning forward. "They were going to hurt you. I couldn’t let that happen."
"They? What are you talking about?" you ask, your heart pounding rapidly.
You try to move, but your wrists are tied with a thick scarf. You look at Jun-ho in disbelief.
"This… this isn’t real."
He slowly gets to his feet, brushing his hands off like he’s just finished an important task.
"Don’t worry. You’re safe with me. No one will ever hurt you again. No one will ever look at you that way again."
His voice, though soft, has a sharp edge. Memories begin to return in fragmented flashes. The last time you saw him was at the café near your workplace. He was always there, sitting at the same table with his black coffee, watching you. There was something about him that unsettled you but also intrigued you, like a mystery impossible to ignore.
"Jun-ho… why am I here?" you manage to ask, though the answer seems clear in your mind.
He leans closer, dangerously close. His warm breath brushes against your face, and you can smell the faint aroma of coffee he always carried.
"Because I love you."
The confession hits you like a punch. You instinctively recoil, but you can’t go far because of the restraints.
"Love me? This isn’t love…" you say, trying to stay calm.
His expression hardens.
"Not love?" he repeats, as if tasting the words for the first time. He paces around you, each step echoing in the small room. "Didn’t you see me? I was always there, watching over you, protecting you from all those men who didn’t deserve you."
"Jun-ho… this isn’t right. Let me go, please."
He stops behind you and places his hands on your shoulders. His touch is firm but not rough.
"Not right?" he murmurs near your ear. "Isn’t it right to want the best for the person you love?"
Your body tenses. The danger in his voice is palpable.
"If you really love me, you wouldn’t do this," you try to reason with him.
He chuckles softly, a sound that makes you tremble.
"You don’t understand. This is for you. For us. You can’t keep living in that world full of people who don’t value you. I’m the only one who can."
"It’s not your decision…" you protest, but he moves quickly in front of you, leaning down until his eyes are level with yours.
"Of course, it’s my decision. Because no one else cares as much as I do."
His gaze is so intense it feels like it could pierce your soul. His obsession is undeniable, but behind it, you see something else: pain, loneliness, desperation.
"Jun-ho, listen… you don’t have to do this. We can talk, find a solution," you say, trying to keep your voice gentle, though inside, you’re terrified.
He smiles again, but this time there’s sadness in his eyes.
"You’ve always been so kind… so understanding. But you don’t get it. If I let you go, they’ll hurt you. I can’t let that happen."
"Who are they?" you ask, hoping to buy time to think of a way out.
He doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, he steps back a few paces, as if lost in thought. Finally, he speaks, his voice barely a whisper.
"Everyone. Everyone who tried to get close to you. Everyone who didn’t deserve you."
The air feels heavier. The idea of what he might have done to "protect" you starts to sink in.
"What did you do, Jun-ho?"
He looks at you, and for the first time, he seems vulnerable.
"What I had to."
His words are simple, but the weight behind them leaves you breathless. Your mind fills with horrible images, but you force yourself to stay composed.
"Jun-ho… let me help you. This doesn’t have to go on like this."
He shakes his head.
"I don’t need help. I’ve already done everything necessary."
You start to notice a slight tremor in his hands, as if guilt is beginning to catch up with him.
"If you really love me… trust me. Let me go, and we can figure this out together."
For a moment, it seems like your words are reaching him. He lowers his gaze, and you can see the internal struggle on his face. But then, he straightens up, and his expression hardens again.
"I can’t risk it. If I let you go, you’ll go back to that world… and I can’t allow that."
Desperation grips you. You need to find a way to make him see reason before it’s too late.
"What do you want, Jun-ho? What do you really want?" you ask, trying to keep his attention.
He steps closer again, his eyes burning with intensity.
"I just want you to be mine."
His answer feels like a sentence, and you know words won’t be enough to change his mind. But you can’t give up. Not now.
"Jun-ho, if you keep going down this path, we’ll never truly be together. This isn’t love. It’s fear."
The word seems to affect him. He takes a step back, his gaze faltering.
"Fear?" he repeats, as if trying to process it.
You nod, even though the fear in your own heart threatens to overwhelm you.
"You’re afraid of losing me. But keeping me here isn’t the solution. If you love me, trust me."
The silence that follows is unbearable. Finally, Jun-ho sighs and lowers his head.
"I don’t want to lose you…" he admits, almost in a whisper.
"You won’t," you reply, summoning all the conviction you can. "But you have to trust me."
For a moment, you think you’ve reached him. But then he lifts his gaze, and his expression is a storm of emotions.
"Fine," he finally says, with an eerie calm. "But if I let you go, promise me you’ll never abandon me."
Your heart stops. You know any wrong response could trigger something worse.
"I promise we’ll talk about this. But first, I need you to give me a chance."
Jun-ho stares at you, assessing you. Finally, he pulls a knife from his pocket and cuts the ties around your wrists.
"Don’t make me regret this," he warns.
You rub your aching wrists and look at him carefully. Every move has to be calculated.
"I won’t," you respond, though your mind is already planning how to escape this place.
#jun ho squid game#squid game#squid game x fem!reader#squid game x reader#hwang jun ho x reader#hwang jun ho#hwang junho#jun ho x reader
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Bill's getting a makeover from Pacifica!! Yaaay
And what good will it do him?
Here's chapter 83 of human Bill Cipher being more of a prisoner in his body than in the Mystery Shack by this point: the shack's decided that the only possible thing that can save them from certain doom is getting Bill to flirt with a government agent, and Pacifica's recruited to help.
She does NOT know who her customer is.
####
"Folks, I'm not exaggerating when I say that out of all my duties as mayor, there's no greater honor than getting to host the county's annual Best Baby Ever Pageant and meeting all your beautiful and talented children. When I look in each young shape's bright little eye, and know that in this room are this county's future priests, police officers, teachers, doctors, entrepreneurs, maybe even the mayor of tomorrow... It gives me hope for the future." The mayor lowered his voice conspiratorially, "And it doesn't hurt that I get to declare it a city holiday and lock town hall's door for the day, either."
The parents in the audience chuckled appreciatively. Their children, who would have had the day off anyway and frankly found this a whole lot more work, mostly didn't.
"But all good things must come to an end, and we've reached the end of this year's competition." The mayor gestured to the contestants behind him, lined up in front of a temporary backdrop with a cheapy, shiny curtain. Most of the contestants were being held by a parent, but a few were old enough to fidget in front of the crowd all alone. "We've awarded all the individual prizes for each age bracket—which have gone to kids with any number of sides, with ages ranging everywhere from five years old to five hours old—and now all we have left is this year's grand prize!"
An enormous trophy waited to the mayor's side. It was plastic and hollow, but it was painted gold and taller than most of the children.
The mayor said, "And the winner of this year's Best Baby Ever award is... " Someone at the back of the hall played a pre-recorded drumroll through a tinny speaker. "The overall winner from the Age 0-6 Months category—Billy Cipher!"
Scalene let out a squeal of excitement that was audible over the applause. Bill startled awake in her arm and blinked sleepily around the room.
Several of the other parents on stage surreptitiously shot Scalene dirty looks—of course her kid had won, who could deny a newborn a prize on his birthday? It would be adorable. The judges had probably leaped at the opportunity.
Scalene shifted Bill in front of herself so the audience could see him better and so she could flash a hidden razor-sharp grin to a couple of her defeated rivals. That was exactly why she'd brought him today.
"Congratulations," the mayor said, placing a very tiny crown atop Bill. Bill endured this with patient, sleepy befuddlement. "Billy will be going home with the grand prize trophy and cash prize—as well as a full set of cutlery from our sponser, Knifeco Knives! But of course we'll hand that to mama to handle," he chuckled. "And the top winners from the other brackets will receive four-piece cutlery gift sets from Knifeco, which include—"
Scalene snatched the microphone from the mayor, jabbed him aside with one corner, and gushed to the crowd, "Thank you so much! I'm sure I'm speaking for my little Billy when I say just how grateful and honored he'll be when he's old enough to understand what a gift you've given him." She beamed out at the crowd, her flashy candy apple red makeup (she'd hastily slathered herself in side liner on her way to the pageant) drowning out every other shape on the stage—except for the naturally neon yellow infant in her arm. "As some of the pageant regulars—"
The mayor said, "Scalene, we didn't actually schedule time for the winners to make speeches—"
She sweetly whispered, "No one wants to hear about the sponsor, Otto," and pushed him aside. "As some of the pageant regulars here already know—I see you out there, hello!—I'm a pageant queen myself—(Miss Teen Curvy Strait three separate years!)—so, as a new mother, I'm so pleased that my little golden child is following in the family footsteps. I..."
The spotlights were blazing hot. She didn't understand how Bill—now wide awake again—could stare straight into the piercing lights without even blinking. Maybe he was blind; it would figure, considering what the afterbirth looked like.
Her knees were weak. Her sides screamed in pain. She shifted her grip to hold Bill more securely and to try to coax the sharpest spot of pain on that side to migrate to a fresh spot, shook off a wave of dizziness, and went on, "I hope that this is just the first of many future crowns for me—myyy sweet little Billy, ahem. I can promise you'll be seeing a lot of him in... in the..."
With a thud, she passed out and collapsed against the theater backdrop.
A nearby child squeaked in alarm.
"Scalene?!" Euclid was at the back of the audience, having snuck in during the closing ceremonies and hovered near the door where he could at least hear as the winners were announced. Now, as the mayor and several other pageant parents rushed to Scalene's side, he shoved his way through the crowd. "Move, that's my wife! Dang it, I told you to use your cane!"
One of the other mothers pulled out a copy of the program and fanned Scalene's eye. The mayor scooped up Bill and checked him for injuries. "Are you alright, little tri?"
Still too small to move himself, his eye darted in a panic to his mother's face, to the bright bright spotlights, to his mother again, to the blurry blue of his father buried deep in a sea of other shapes, to the mayor and the many strange faces crowded around him—and then he swallowed back his oversized eye to open his mouth and wail.
Which was the exact moment the stage curtain caught fire.
####
A bearded man with his hair done up in black liberty spikes and a spider web tattoo climbing up his left arm watched as Pacifica dumped several shopping bags of makeup onto her desk. "This visitor must be really important. You never pass up doing these guys' weekly grooming." He was sitting on the barn floor, brushing an alpaca with long, silky white hair.
"You have no idea." Pacifica stuffed the shopping bags in the wastebasket surreptitiously hidden under her far-too-big U-shaped executive desk, and quickly sorted the beauty supplies into their proper order of operations.
"Didn't you say it's Mabel and one of her friends? Mabel's here all the time."
"It's not just any friend, Spiderwebs!" Pacifica pulled a locket out of a desk drawer, ran over to Spiderwebs, and popped it open. "It's this friend! I've never met him before, all I know is that he has the most gorgeous hair I've ever seen. I have got to make a good first impression."
Spiderwebs and the alpaca inspected the locket's contents. He said, "You've never met him and you've got some of his hair in a locket?"
Pacifica flushed. "Th— Shut up!" She snapped the locket shut and stuffed it in a pocket. "I had the locket just lying around anyway, it's whatever."
At the sound of voices outside, Pacifica gasped. "They're here! Do I look okay?!"
Spiderwebs—whose entire outfit cost less than Pacifica's left sock and who quite frankly found the amount of makeup Pacifica wore concerning for a child her age—said, "Sure, fine."
"Great!" Pacifica bounced on the balls of her feet, squealed in excitement, and ran outside to greet Mabel and her friend. "Heyyy there! I'm Pacifica Northwest, it's so nice to meet—" She froze, "you..."
Before her stood a person with the most beautiful golden hair she'd ever seen.
Which was attached to a lady in a t-shirt, an eyepatch, a bedsheet, and cheap novelty slippers that look like fish.
On top of that, the lady was mildly sunburned (obviously no moisturizer), wasn't wearing a bra, was leaning on an umbrella like a cane, clearly hadn't shaved in a while, had a very obvious fake tooth, had a weird bulgy eye, sort of smelled like fish (please don't let it be the slippers), and, to cap it all off, was fat.
Pacifica was working on herself. She was trying to unlearn the lessons about beauty she'd learned from her mom, and from the child pageant circuit, and from all her judgy friends, and from the modeling industry. She was slowly getting comfortable with the idea that physical beauty wasn't everything.
However. So far, that meant she'd been working on accepting ideas like it's okay if sometimes I'm an 8/10 instead of a 10/10. She had not yet tackled the far more daunting proposition of internalizing concepts like it's okay if sometimes other people are ugly.
Which was a problem, if she was going to give this person a makeover.
She swallowed hard and rearranged her expectations for the afternoon.
"Hey Pacifica!" Mabel beamed at her. "Thanks sooo much helping! This is Goldie, he's your customer. Goldie, this is Pacifica." Mabel gasped. "Giorgio, you're lookin' so fiiiine!" She ran into the barn to greet the alpaca Spiderwebs was grooming.
Leaving Pacifica outside with a stranger with a very creepy smile. Pacifica said, "Ummm..."
"The feeling's mutual, haha." On top of everything else, Goldie had a weird, nasally voice.
He, Mabel had said. "Hey, um," said Pacifica, who had never actually been in this position before and wasn't quite sure the polite way to handle it, "not to be rude, but... are you a guy, orrr...?"
"I'm whatever makes this conversation easiest. Don't overthink it!" He swept around Pacifica, hands clasped behind his back and around his umbrella, and sauntered into the barn. Which was kind of impressive, because fish-shaped slippers didn't seem designed for sauntering.
"So... guy?" Pacifica tried.
"For you? Sure," Goldie said indulgently. "Our target's expecting a lady, though, so—" Without turning toward Pacifica, he gestured up-and-down at his body. "Expect to femme this thing up."
Pacifica bit her lips as she swallowed down the most profound disappointment of her life so far, readjusted her expectations for the evening, and figured out what to say. She may not have unlearned the instinct to be shallowly judgmental, but she'd at least made progress on learning to keep it in her head. Most of it. Some—some of it. She'd keep some of it to herself. "Oh-kay. I don't know what Mabel told you, but—just so you know, I'm not running some charity barbershop for the homeless, all right? I'm a professional. I take looks seriously. I'm not going to soften the truth just because you're Mabel's friend, so—if you're not okay with that, you should just go home now."
He turned to glance at her, his trajectory curving to the side as he did; and suddenly she felt like a very small fish being circled by a hungry stingray. "Wow! You and Mabel both had to warn me! At this point, I'll be disappointed if you're polite." Goldie laughed. "Don't worry, I wasn't expecting a barbershop." He used his umbrella to gesture around at the barn, "A barbershop would smell less like farm animals." He flipped up his eyepatch (he had a whole second eye under there?) so he could shoot Pacifica a sly sideways glance. "Maybe personality can make up for looks. Right?"
Pacifica's face flushed red. Personality can make up for looks was what Pacifica's mom said other moms told their ugly daughters when they entered pageants they had no shot of winning. "Hey, how dare you! Maybe this barn is an ugly salon—but it's a beautiful ranch!" She huffed, "Anyway, I didn't have a choice! I couldn't bring you home in front of my parents. You're better suited to the barn."
She regretted it the moment the words were out of her mouth—that was the kind of thing she was trying not to say to people as often—but Goldie's grin only widened. "Just do what you can with this flesh scarecrow I'm wearing, Alpaca. I know what beauty standards around here are like, I know what I look like, and I'm more apathetic about this body than you could possibly imagine. You won't hurt my feelings!" He flipped his eyepatch back down and glanced away from her, eye roving around the barn ceiling like a searchlight trying to find a stray bat. "Nobody goes to a coach because they're expecting to be told 'you're beautiful just the way you are'!"
A coach—like a pageant coach? He was making an awful lot of allusions to the pageant world. Just to make fun of her, or...? "You're lucky I'm not a coach. You couldn't afford my rates."
Goldie laughed. "You'd overcharge!" And then he ignored her, turning his attention to her one full-time employee. "Hey, Spiderwebs! So this is where you ended up! Workin' hard or hardly workin'?"
Spiderwebs looked up from the aplaca he was tending to to frown at Goldie. "Do I know you?"
"Know me? You picked a fight with me once!"
"Oh. Who won?"
"By the time I was finished with you, you were stone-cold unconscious!"
"That's probably why I don't remember it."
While Goldie was distracted talking to Spiderwebs, Pacifica knelt by Mabel—who was crouched to wrap her arms around Giorgio's neck and nuzzle him—and muttered, "Your friend's a major creep."
"What did he do," Mabel asked.
Pacifica thought. What did he do? Say he wouldn't be offended by brutal honesty? Tell her her barn smelled like a barn? "Nothing, it's just—the way he did it."
"Yeah," Mabel sighed. "We're working on his people skills." At least she didn't think Pacifica was crazy.
"Hey, does Goldie have any, like... beauty industry experience, that you know of?"
"His mom was a model," Mabel said. "And he did some stuff with beauty pageants?"
"Yeah? What kind of stuff?"
"Ummm..." Mabel grimaced uncertainly. "Tech... stuff...?" Okay, she clearly didn't have a clue. But that was what she'd wanted to know: yes, he was familiar with the pageant scene. She readjusted her expectations for the afternoon for the second time in as many minutes.
Apparently finished with Spiderwebs, Goldie called, "Anyway, I'm not trying to win ay supreme crowns!" Make that familiar with the pageant scene and wanted to make sure Pacifica knew that. "Just seduce some government agent who already thinks this is hot. You're lucky, we have an easy target!"
Mabel said, "This guy!" She unwrapped one arm from around Giorgio's neck to hold her phone out.
Pacifica took it. It was displaying a distinguished-looking middle-aged gentleman with a no-nonsense frown in a classy black suit. Her eyebrows went up. Ooh. The suit was kind of cheap, but it was well-tailored, which made a world of difference. Looked like he took care of himself, too. Definitely worked out. Too bad about the hair, but hey, Pacifica happened to know a great product that could help with that.
She put a hand on Mabel's arm. "I will help Goldie win his heart."
####
Bill hardly glanced around as Pacifica led them into her office; he was familiar with the space. By daylight, it looked less "rustic" and more "cutesy overpriced modern farmhouse."
"I've got everything set up in my office," Pacifica said, coming in with Mabel behind her. There was indeed a wide variety of makeup supplies spread out on her desk. "But the makeup has to wait, we've got to start with your hair."
Bill fought back a cringe. "Don't want to save the best for last?"
"Always do your hair first," Pacifica said firmly. She ducked through a door into a bathroom connected to her office. "That's your first fashion lesson. You can't wash your hair with a face full of makeup. And trying to use a blow dryer or hair iron around your makeup makes you look like a melting wax figure."
"I've seen those in person," Mabel said. "Pacifica's right, that's not a cute look. Especially when the eyeballs start rolling out! Apparently, wax figures' eyeballs are made out of glass?"
Bill made a beeline for the corner where he knew Pacifica kept a folding chair and asked, "Hey, what happened to all those eyes, anyway?" Mabel always needed new arts and crafts supplies, and he bet those would be great for jewelry.
"We stuck them in a big jar." Mabel was lurking in the bathroom door, watching Pacifica. "They're still cursed, though. They turn to look at you when you walk by."
"Even better."
"I can see why the Pines family likes you," Pacifica grumbled.
Bill could think of three Pines who would heartily disagree with that claim. "Oh, please! They can only wish they were half as weird as me." He set up the folding chair in the open space in front of Pacifica's desk—then froze. Huh.
Bill knew lots of things. He had trillions of eyes. He was used to walking into rooms and just knowing what was in them.
Except this room hadn't existed when he'd had all his eyes. It had been built after his death. So why did he already know what it looked like? How had he known where to find a folding chair?
He shut his eyes, trying to work through the déjà vu to picture what angle he'd seen the room at before, and where his eye must have been in order for him to see it; and then he looked at the wall beside the desk. There were several flat glass cases against the wall with alpaca wool goods sealed inside—a scarf, a sweater... He stared at his own face in the middle of a tapestry of his zodiac, preserved like a hunting trophy in a case labeled "First Blanket." Huh. It wasn't some local hick's den after all. Just a local rich girl roleplaying at being a hick.
He studied his true face for a long moment—and then cast a resentful look at the desk covered in makeup, in shades of beige and red. What would any of this sludge do for him? He'd be just as ugly at the end of it.
But Bill wasn't getting a makeover to look beautiful. He was getting it to seduce a human. And those were two diametrically opposed goals.
He missed his face so much.
"It's not illegal," Pacifica said.
Bill gave her a baffled look. "What?"
She pointed at the blanket, "It's not illegal to display a picture of the triangle guy as long as it's got that ring of symbols around it. It, like, repels him or something."
"Oh, does it," Bill said dryly. "It takes the evil eye to avert the evil eye, huh? Hey, maybe I should get one of these! Whaddaya think, Mabel?"
"I already told you I'm not making another!"
"But how am I gonna repel the triangle guy?" he asked, grinning impishly. "What if I'm in danger! The triangle guy could get me! Wouldn't that be terrible?"
"Knock it off! You already stole Soos's."
He expected Pacifica to come back from the bathroom with a brush or something; instead, she held up a spray bottle and said, "Okay, come in—and bring the chair." Bill's heart sank. "We're gonna have to rinse your hair in my sink, sorry."
Bill suppressed a sigh. "It's not the worst thing I've ever done to this hair!" He picked up the chair to carry into the next room.
"All I can do for now is rinse your hair. I don't have any shampoo for your hair texture because I did not think the situation was going to be this dire. No offense," Pacifica said. "You'll have to shampoo at home. You got the hair product samples I sent to the Mystery Shack, right? Were you able to order the full products? I don't know what your budget looks like."
"Don't worry about it, I still have the leftovers from the samples."
He watched in glee as Pacifica died a little on the inside. "Th— Those were one use sample sizes. It's been a month, how do you still have leftovers."
In truth, Pacifica severely overestimated the amount of hair product needed to keep hair clean; but on the other hand Bill was deliberately showering as little as he thought he could get away with and making up the difference in the downstairs half bath sink, so he didn't think smugly flaunting that he technically knew more about minimum human hygiene requirements than she did would make him look as cool and knowledgable as he wanted it to. "Don't worry about it!"
Bill cast one last longing look toward his true face; and then he followed the humans into the restroom to let them reorganize his stupid human hair.
####
"This is just a temporary measure," Pacifica warned as she dunked a few more of Goldie's curls in the sink. "You have got to take a real shower before your date. You literally smell like fish."
"What kind of fish?" Goldie immediately asked. "Is it salmon? If it's salmon I can work with that."
Sitting on the closed toilet lid, Mabel let out a long-suffering sigh; and Pacifica got the horrifying impression that this was an ongoing conversation.
"It... I don't... know what kind of fish."
Mabel said, "It's probably just the trout guts from yesterday." What the heck was life like in poor people's homes?
In Pacifica's opinion, Goldie's hair was both his biggest asset and his worst disaster area. It was that beautiful, natural, curly gold, like something out of a fairy tale; but it was nightmarishly tangled and there was literal sand in it, and he'd clearly used conditioner at some point in the last few days but he hadn't fully washed it out and it just made more sand stick.
Goldie was sitting in the folding chair with one arm rested on the lip of the sink and his cheek resting on his arm. Pacifica had to alternate between soaking his hair under the faucet and trying to gently untangle it, inch by inch, with a comb. To his credit, he patiently endured it without making a word of complaint, even though both the positioning and the manhandling had to be uncomfortable.
But he'd turned his face away from Pacifica and Mabel as much as he could from his awkward position; and whenever Pacifica moved to an angle that let her glimpse a bit of his face, his eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth was pressed thin in a grimace. The hand resting on the sink's lip had clenched into a fist, and his other hand was digging its (badly painted) fingernails into his thigh through his bedsheet skirt.
Hesitantly, she asked, "Are you comfortable?"
"I'll give it three out of five stars," Goldie said, "but if you want a lower score, I can try to find a worse angle for my neck!" He kept as much tension out of his voice as he could; but now that Pacifica had noticed it, she could tell his voice was a bit flattened.
"Never mind," she said. "No offense, but—when's the last time you combed this?" She'd been saying no offense a lot.
Mabel asked, "Have you done it since I brushed your hair at the sleepover?" He had Mabel doing his hair?
Goldie made a noncommittal noise. "I've washed it since then."
"That's not the same," Mabel said.
"You've washed it?" Pacifica asked skeptically. "Because you look like you've been sleeping in mud." She'd found a few flecks deep in his thick curls.
"Okay, in my defense," Goldie said, "it was just garden-variety heavy metal-enriched local dirt when I went to sleep. It only turned into mud while I was unconscious."
Pacifica stopped combing and leaned over to stare at Goldie, speechless.
With an air of affronted dignity, he said, "It wasn't my idea. I wanted to be indoors."
"Goldie's been having a really bad week," Mabel said.
"I've been having a really bad month," Goldie said.
Mabel asked, "Haven't you had a shower since you got home, though?"
There was a pause. Goldie muttered, "Yeah, but—it's hard to get through all that hair." (The worst part was, Pacifica thought he was telling the truth. The fact that she'd found mud so deep meant he must have washed the majority off the outer layers of his hair.) "I—I've been—tired, okay?"
He had that air of impatient irritation that suggested he was embarrassed, but trying to hide it because he was embarrassed of being embarrassed. Strange from Mr. Apathetic About His Body to be self-conscious. Why? Did he not know how to take care of his hair? (Maybe if he'd properly used the samples she'd sent him...)
But Pacifica thought back to Mabel showing her a lock of his hair at the beginning of summer—and the liquified roots, melted off. That wasn't an accident. Whatever depilatory cream he'd used had to sit there on the roots, it wasn't like he'd just grabbed the wrong product by accident. There was something more than ignorance going on here. Self-sabotage? But if it was intentional, why would he be embarrassed?
She could call him out, interrogate him for it—hey, she was supposed to be his style consultant, she needed to know what was going on—but if he was already getting defensive, he'd just clam up if he thought he was really under attack. Her mom got the same way when she was getting cagey about something and Pacifica was trying to figure out why. So she switched her focus. "Mabel—did you say you brushed his hair?"
"Yeah?"
"You meant 'combed his hair,' right?"
"No, I brushed it," Mabel said.
Pacifica stared at her. "Why."
Mabel stared back. "Because... combs are for short guy hair and for parting your hair? And Goldie doesn't have a part?"
Pacifica looked down at the big ball of frizzy curls that made up the bottom half of Mabel's hair and suddenly understood so much. "Oh, hon." What were her parents like. What did their hair look like. "You're supposed to comb natural curls. And only when they're wet, if you can help it."
"What. Why."
"It keeps the curls together," Goldie said, "instead of separating them all into separate strands."
Mabel's eyes widened. "Wait, that's the secret?! I thought that's what expensive shampoos are for!"
"The expensive shampoos make it worse," he cheerfully informed her. He'd brushed Pacifica off and sat up, chin in hand and hair dripping over his shoulders, so he could talk to Mabel. "It strips off the grease your pores naturally excrete to lube up your hair and replaces it with manmade grease! Which is why your hair dries out when you stop using the fancy shampoo. It's a big scam!"
Mabel stared at him in shock; then asked, hesitantly, "My strawberry shampoo?"
"A dirty traitor," Goldie said. "It's one of those toxic friends that manipulates you into depending on them and then tells you you're nothing without their help! There's half a dozen chemicals you wanna avoid in shampoo—I don't remember all their names but I can draw their chemical structures, Sixer can translate 'em into English for you."
"What else am I doing wrong?"
"You shampoo your hair too often," Goldie said. "And blow dry it. Which is fine if you want to keep that dry frizz! But somehow I don't think you do!"
Okay—so he clearly did understand curly hair care. (Or at least, he understood it as much as Pacifica, whose knowledge came entirely from reading magazine articles that technically weren't aimed at her.) Then why didn't he do it?
Mabel dragged her hands down her face. "So all this time, I've been messing up your hair too? Goldiiie, why didn't you say anything!"
"I didn't really care!"
Pacifica said, "Okay no, I am not standing for this. Goldie, out. Mabel, sink. It's some kind of crime for me to know more about curly hair than you do. I'm showing you how to do this the right way."
Goldie sighed in relief and escaped as Pacifica subjected Mabel's hair to the faucet and comb.
####
(Here's this week's What Was Edited Due To TBOB summary: the pageant scene itself was already planned, but obviously, all the details—it's the day he was born, the mayor's there handing out knives and declaring it a holiday—came from the info we get on Bill's history via TBOB. Finding a way to make the knives make sense was fun. Nothing major in the rest of the chapter was changed.
Hope you enjoyed! Next week is more Pacifica!)
#(I'm forbidding myself from drawing backgrounds in chapter art until March)#(If i draw a background put a skunk in my inbox)#bill cipher#human bill cipher#(for the art & chapter)#pacifica northwest#mabel pines#(for the chapter even tho they aren't in the art. this is pacifica's chapter!!)#scalene cipher#(<- yknow what?? she gets a big scene too. might as well tag her.)#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher
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⌗ . . . bathroom sex with dealer!chris
warns. smut. oral [f. receiving]. unprotected sex [don’t be silly]. porn without plot. creampie. explicit language. degradation kink. pet names [doll, baby, princess]. teasing, lowercase intended.
“chris — please — move!” your hips instinctively nudged forward, searching for just a shred of contact with his fingers, which where buried deep inside you, still.
he shook his head, amused by your pathetic reaction at his touch. “uh-huh. you’ve been such a bad girl the instant we stepped into this party,” he said, keeping his free hand at the side of your head, trapping you between his body and the wall.
when he dragged you into this bathroom by the arm you knew what was coming. you actually had seen it coming from the moment you decided to wear that tight, little dress — the one he expressly affirmed he didn’t want you to wear.
“you knew this would happen, didn’t you?” he suddenly curled his fingers inside you, caressing your insides, making you let out a load moan. “you acted so bossy out there with that douchebag, what happened now?” he added, alluding to your wasted status.
he had in fact barely touched you, pushing you against the cold tiles and lifting your slutty garment up to your navel as soon as you entered the bathroom and you already were a moaning mess, craving for more of his touch.
“please chris — i-i need you,” you said blubbering. he smirked down at you. “need me to what?” he teased. you could tell he was holding back. his eyes were dark and glossy in lust and desire and if you only moved your leg a little bit you could’ve felt the hard-on that was starting to grow between his legs.
“need you.. need you to- to make me feel good,��� you were slurring your words, trying to stay still to not upset him more, even if everything you could feel in that moment was your aching core begging to be relieved.
he bit his lips, moving his head in disapproval “gonna need something more, princess” the brunette said, approaching dangerously to your face. he started to leave a trail of wet kisses all over your jaw and neck.
you swore you were about to lose it and starting fucking yourself on his fingers on your own.
“chris — chris — please make me cum. i need it- need you so bad,” you begged him miserably, closing your eyes at the overwhelming sensation of his mouth on your collarbone.
“look at me — he grabbed your chin with two fingers, making your eyes flutter open — y’think you deserve it?” he said, pulling away from your chest and looking at you in your eyes, which were imploring for some kind of contact. “you deserve to cum after acting like a slut in front of me and the whole party? mh?”
he started to move his middle and pointer finger inside you painfully slowly, making your spine shiver and your mouth let out a whimper. his thumb reached your swollen clit, rubbing it just as slowly. you tried to say something but a low whine broke the words in your throat.
“mh? fuckin’ answer me,” his fingers went abruptly deeper, while he placed his knee between your legs, blocking them to close.
“i don’t! i was such a slut! i’m sorry- please i’m sorry!” you almost screamed in frustration.
he sharply removed his fingers from my heat, grabbing you by the waist and turning you around, making you face the big mirror. “i think you need a reminder of who you belong to,” he roamed his hands all over your body, caressing your hips sensually.
you could feel his boner pocking onto your ass, so you pushed back on purpose, trying to have some friction. “mhm, you surely need it,” he added, before shoving two fingers inside your pussy once again, this time his pace was fast and rough.
your eyes closed again due the overstimulation that you were accumulating. “didn’t ya understand me? i want those pretty eyes open,” he repeated. what you saw once you accomplished was your reflection being fingered-fucked by your boyfriend, and that did nothing but turn you on even more.
your mouth kept letting out a sequence of moans and whines, as you felt the familiar tension building up in your stomach. “god — right there, don’t stop, please”
his gaze was fixed on his digits appearing and disappearing inside you, moving it on your face when you letted out a nearly pornographic moan. “you like bein’ treated like the whore y’are, don’t you?”
“yes, yes, yes,” you repeated like a mantra, getting off on the wet sounds that the contact made. he speeded up his pace, pumping his fingers furiously in and out of you, knowing that you were getting closer and closer.
as you were about to reach your climax, he stopped again, making you groan. “no, no please, i was so close!” you cried out.
he ignored you, removing his hand for the umpteenth time that night to hook his fingers onto the fabric of your panties, pulling them down to your knees. “if you’re gonna cum, you’re gonna do it on my cock,” he said, pushing your back down, so that you were bent over the counter.
he didn’t waste time to pull down his zipper and take out his length, that slapped on his stomach because of the stimulation. his red mushroom tip was leaking pre-cum, streaming down his erection.
he took it in his free hand and beat it a few times, before lining it up with my entrance. he rubbed it between my folds, gathering some of your juices as lube. “these were your intentions f’this party, isn’t that right?” he kept teasing.
you arched your back, trying to have his dick finally buried deep inside you, as you, indeed, had tried all night long. “please chris — i-i need it” you mumbled, biting your bottom lip so hard that almost bled.
“you knew i had deals to take care of, and yet, there you were, grinding yourself on some random jerk” he traced a finger on your back, from your neck to your ass, delivering an harsh slap on your right cheek.
you were a mess at this point, your stare on his face, on his lips, on his body, in the hope that he would’ve done something anytime soon.
suddenly, he slammed his hips forward, making your eyes roll back in your head from the shock. he didn’t give you time to adjust to his size, he just began to move in and out roughly, his pace fast and constant. his hands rested firmly on your hips, you both breathing heavily as he hit all the deeper spots.
one of his hands flew to your bundle of nerves, grazing against it to add pleasure at your already near climax.
“chris” you moaned, saying the only thing you were able to vocalize. your face was contorted in gratification, your knuckles becoming white due the hard grip you had on the counter.
“shit — i know baby,” he whispered, continuing to slam his hips on your ass, his balls on your clit. his grasp grew harder on your skin, sign that he was close too.
you started feeling the peak in your stomach, your legs becoming jelly and trembling. you couldn’t hold back anymore. “i’m gonna come — god, chris i’m ‘bouta —”
“fuuck — cum for me, doll” he told you, continuing thrusting in you nonstop.
it only took you one sentence and a few moments to start creaming on his cock, feeling it twitching inside you. “aah — chris… oh my god” 
you finally felt l his cum spurting in your cunt, the warm liquid filling you up. he pulled out, letting out one last moan, the two of you trying to re-stabilize your breathing. 
you tried to lift your back, but chris stopped you, making you bend over again. you felt his fingers on your core once again, “chris — no more — m’too sensitive,” i cried out.
“nuh-uh. not letting any of it going wasted” he said, collecting his semen and yours that was leaked out your pussy to put them back in. your cunt hurt for the overstimulation, all red and puffy — to him, it hadn’t never looked prettier.
when he finally pulled away, you raised your panties up and lowered the dress down, fixing — or attempting to — your hair and make up to make it seem like you hadn’t occupied the room for over thirty minutes.
“you okay?” chris asked you, turning you around. he wrapped his arms around your waist, your back hitting the counter. i nodded, “yeah, i think i remember now” you said making him smirk.
“you made me lose a buyer — we’re not done” he added, half joking and half serious. i let out a chuckle, my hands flying around his neck, brushing my lips on his.
he closed the gap and gave me a soft kiss, before pulling away and putting his arm around my shoulder. we leave the room, acting like nothing happened under the judging gazes of the long queue of people who were waiting to use the toilet.
“i hope you enjoyed your fuck, fuckin’ almost made me piss myself”
yaps. it was supposed to be shorter but i got too involved… anyway i need him so bad it’s concerning.
wc. 1,5k
#🂱 . 𝐚𝐥𝐣’𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo fic#christopher owen sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo#chris x reader#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo soft#dealer!chris
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lose some, win some | Spencer Reid Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Waldorf!Reader Category: Hurt/Comfort, Smut 18+, MDNI Summary: COLLEGE AU! When your debate team loses the national championship, you and Spencer return to your shared room and find a productive way to take out your frustrations. Content: Waldorf!Reader is a sore loser, lots of dialogue in the beginning, Sassy!Spencer, some talk of misogyny, Spencer makes up for it by being a munch (so f receiving oral), virgin!Spencer but he’s also a little shit, they are both little shits but it’s cute I swear, handjob, raw p in v but reader mentions she is on the pill, creampies, multiple orgasms for both of them (they’re frustrated and horny give them a break) Word count: 4.8k (it's porn with a plot for once) A/N: Not really frenemies or rivals, they’re just really angry young adults. Idk what Spencer’s actual age was in college, but he studied several times so for this fic, he’s on his third degree and is 21. If the debate stuff is incorrect, I'm sorry. I did do some research but there's so many different rules and styles lmfao. My friend who competes says it’s fine and understandable so :) also massive thanks to @just-call-me-by-yn @mggslover and @notlongtolove for helping me brainstorm and @wheresmacoffee because she was there JK ILY ANDY their banter during the filthy part is for you <3.
Spencer Reid doesn’t particularly care about the prestige that comes with winning. Most people crave it for the validation, or because it’s another impressive thing they can slap onto their resumes, but being a genius his entire life allows him not to worry about that. His academics speak for themselves. He doesn’t need to pad it with extracurriculars. Instead, he enjoys the skills that are honed from debate—learning to listen to arguments, finding the perfect way to rebut, memorization and reviewing with like minded individuals. The university team is a well oiled machine composed of four people— him on his third degree, two other male juniors, and you, the only woman.
Over the span of two semesters, he’s memorized the quirks of his teammates. It’s essential to building rapport, after all, and he’s eager to get something good out of this. Something less academic, and more social. Friends, perhaps. While he’s formed a bond with the other members, you have always been an enigma. Stoic and ambitious, you remind him of a statue. Cold and oh so beautiful. You’ve often kept to yourself. And after several rejected attempts at friendship, he’s learned to just observe from afar.
He knows from experience that observing allows you deep insight into people, and so he knows after two semesters that you’re perhaps the most competitive out of the entire team, the most hungry for a win. This drive, he suspects, comes from a deeply rooted desire to prove yourself, though he’s unsure why. What else do you have to prove? You have everything, as far as he’s concerned. Keenly intelligent, beautiful, with a circle of friends that adore you. You aren’t like him, who has to sink his claws deep into this debate team in order to get a dose of social interaction. No, you have a life, no matter how marblesque you may seem.
And yet, somehow it’s still not enough for you.
He thinks it’s utterly ridiculous, and absolutely fascinating.
The weekend of nationals is taxing. You’ve been fighting for the opener role since the semis, but it would require too much adjustment, which no one is willing to risk so close to nationals. Not only does he not want to give up his spot, he also knows how ruthless you can be as a rebuttal speaker. He's meek, and you have a tendency to be aggressive, it's why the original roles go so well.
Your adviser agreed, and there’s been tension ever since.
To make matters worse, hotel arrangements somehow have placed both of you in the same room. The force of your resentment is palpable even to a normally clueless guy like him. Distracting. Pages being turned in your exaggerated annoyance. He’d complain of dramatics, but he doesn’t want to start anything.
The fact that you’re rooming together also doesn’t help him. Sure, there are different beds, small twin mattresses on either side of the room, but still. Proximity to a woman his age has him anxious for reasons entirely unrelated to nationals.
So when you lose the championship, his concern for your reaction behind doors overwhelms the regret of losing.
No one is happy with the results. It is obvious from the set of his jaw, the tenseness of your shoulders. Spencer tries to calm down, accept defeat with a modicum of grace, at least in front of other people. He can tell the rest of the team is trying too, but quite unconvincingly. Onstage, accepting the medals for second place—mockingly silver, and no trophies—the team’s smiles are forced, plastic.
Back to the hotel rooms are a different story. When you slam the hotel door shut, it echoes down the hall and makes even your debate adviser flinch. It would have made Spencer flinch too, if he hadn't already expected it. He's grown accustomed to how bad of a loser you can be. Like a tornado, your anger spares no one from its destruction. It is in these moments that your stoic resolve crumbles, no longer unfeeling, but rather fully human. Hurtful. Ruthless Unfortunately for him, he's directly in your line of fire.
He catches bits and pieces of your muttered diatribes. He’s used to those too. Normally, he would have ignored them. Losing sucks the energy out of a person, regardless of how uncompetitive he is. Besides, your ranting is mostly harmless, until one sentence snags his attention.
“— knew I should have been the opening speaker —”
He is clawing at his tie, trying desperately to get it off, but the words make him stop immediately. He whirls around, brows furrowed, “What?”
You pause as well, “What?”
“What did you say about being the opening speaker?” He watches you roll your eyes. It does nothing to calm the bitterness in the back of his throat. The normal song and dance goes like this: he’d say a string of words in an attempt to soothe the fire burning in your nerves, and you'd say something so vitriolic he'd refuse to speak to you for the rest of your time together.
But today, having just lost the biggest championship after working so hard, he's a short fuse and your words are incendiary.
“I said I should have done it, like I asked—”
“Ah, as usual, you're mad that you didn't get what you wanted.”
An offended scoff. He's almost proud he managed to pull that out of you. “You take too long—”
“Nationals isn't the time to suddenly alter the roles,” he tells you, shaking his head. He manages to loosen the tie, finally, tossing it on his bed with so much aggression it misses the mattress and lands limply on the floor, “I've always been the opening speaker.”
“Yes, and one would think that after going through so many debate competitions, you would learn to be more succinct,” you snap, shoes making harsh clacks against the tiled floor, “The goal isn't to let us know you're the smartest person in the room, Spencer, it's to set up the tone and groundwork of—”
“I don't need you to lecture me about being the opening,” he interrupts, “I know what my role requires of me.”
“Do you?” Eyes flashing, you walk to him until you're almost chest to chest, “Because we still lost.”
“And you blaming me?” he hisses, leaning down. He hates doing this, stooping to your level of pettiness. Normally, he would choose to be the bigger person, refusing your verbal sparring; he likes to focus his energy on the actual debate, the opposing team, not his own teammates. But your words cut deeper than normal; it isn't the fault the team lost, that's just a flat out lie, “We advised you multiple times to memorize the statistics—”
“Something you're better at!” You look physically pained to admit his superiority, but the words spill anyway, “You'd be so much better to do the rebuttals since you have your stupid photographic memory, and I can set the tone better, but nobody on this little boys club ever listens to me!”
He's surprised at the choked tone your voice has taken. In his mind, you're a complete equal—you made it to the team through hard work and impeccable skills, like the rest of them did, after all. It didn't matter that you are a woman to him, so of course his instinct is to deny. “That’s not true.” but even his voice sounds weak.
How would he know if it’s not true? He’s never been in your shoes before, never had to reckon with what comes with being the only woman in a team of men.
“Isn’t it?” he flinches at the venom in your voice, “You all act like I'm an afterthought—I get the shittiest positions even when I know I can be more effective in a different one, no one ever asks me for strategy, hell, you never invite me to your stupid chess games.”
His mouth opens and closes foolishly, latching on to the one thing he has a full response to, “I thought you hate chess.”
A sharp laugh, petulant and bitter, “I do, but it would have been nice to be included.”
He doesn’t know what to say. You’ve turned around, yanking off your pristine maroon blazer so roughly he’s afraid it might rip. The silence that grows makes him itch, hands balling into fists as he tries to think of what to do. Social dynamics have always been a thing of mystery to him.
He wonders if he is part of this problem. He’s no stranger to feeling different and on the outs, and it pains him to think that he inadvertently caused someone else to feel that same, unpleasant exclusion.
But, no. Quickly, he recalls every single time he’s tried to include you—a museum trip that you’d declined because you had a party you wanted to attend. His extra tickets to the Nutcracker.
“That’s not true,” his voice is firm now, following you until he’s standing right behind. Lavender hits his nose and his brain registers the scent of your shampoo. Definitely too close if he can smell that, but he refuses to back away, intent on getting his point across, “That’s not true, I’ve tried to— you were always too busy.”
“What, I’m a liar now?” you spin around, pretty features twisted to somehow express both anger and hurt. He almost falters. Almost.
But he’s too worked up, even though he knows he should back off, to not trivialize your experiences in order to defend himself. He should know better than this, but the sting of your accusation spurs him on. So he pushes, eyes narrowing, “Last year, September 14, 21, and 29, I invited you to come with us for several casual chess tournaments, you declined all invitations because you claimed you hated chess. October 29th, I told you about the new exhibit they were displaying—”
“It was Halloween weekend, I already had plans—”
“December 19th, I offered you Nutcracker tickets and you said you’d already seen it—”
“I have,” your voice has grown quiet now, and if he stops speaking for a single moment to look, your features have relaxed into something gentler. But he’s on a roll, and you have always been right about things; his inability to be succinct is one of them.
“Even this year, I invited you to study multiple times, but you’ve always had prior plans,” the words are spoken with neutrality. He isn’t even angry anymore, just eager to list everything down and let you know how hard he’s tried with you. Even after the numerous rejections, he’s made an effort, but of course, you have other friends, other plans outside your nerdy debate team. He’s never held that against you, but if you wanted to point fingers, he has the means to defend himself. And sure, he wants to prove you wrong on some level too, but that’s the lesser point. “Maybe if you stopped acting like you’re better than me, and just accepted, you wouldn’t be feeling so excluded.”
“I don’t act like I’m better than you.”
“You just said you would have made a better opening speaker.”
You scoff, “Oh my god, you’re infuriating, I can’t believe I’m stuck with you!”
Spencer bristles at that, “I’m giving you the facts, it’s not my fault you can’t handle them.” he says, leaning closer, trying to make her see his point, “You’re always so closed off and the other guys have just given up trying. Maybe if you—”
“What? If I smiled more? Acted less like a bitch?” you sneer, eyes narrowed dangerously, “I thought a genius like you would know better than to use misogynistic language like that.”
“Wha— no! Don’t put words in my mouth.” Spencer replies, shaking his head. The conversation is devolving into something dangerous, the air crackling with something electric. He assumes it’s anger. They will never get anywhere, so he sighs, softening slightly, “I never said that. I’m just pointing out that you weren’t blameless in this, you know?”
You’re silent. He watches you, takes in how the resentment in your eyes have been dulled by something more contemplative.
He continues, “Listen, I’m sorry if we’ve made you feel like you were on the outs. I’m sure we have to do so much reflection as a team and as individuals about how we treat each other, but it’s unfair to say that we never include you when I have actively been making efforts to—”
Your lips are upon him.
That’s inaccurate.
You are upon him, arms flung around his neck, body pressed flush against his. He feels the entire world tilt, and he’s unsure if it’s because you’re pulling him down or because your lips are so pillowy he’s instantly eager for more. Wants it like a man starved. Needs it, needs more, but his body betrays him. Whether it’s his inexperience or surprise or a combination of both. He freezes, blinking rapidly at the sight of you. Eyes shut, and face so close to him; so, so close he can count each individual eyelash, see the tiny freckle on your eyelid that gets hidden if your eyes are open.
And then you're gone. The freckle disappears as you look at him with wide eyed mortification.
“Shit, Spencer, I—”
It’s his lips that cut you off this time, seeking out the velvety warmth of your mouth. Your lips part under his, and he registers a sound, soft and whining. It takes him a moment to realize it came from him, from the back of his throat and muffled by your lips and tongue and oh you’re both falling.
Literally. He must have leaned too far into you; you’re suddenly collapsing, forcing him down because your arms have him in a vice grip and he’s too busy chasing after your lips. The next thing he knows is he’s on top of you and you’re sprawled on the bed beneath him. Time stands still; he’s painfully aware of how cliche that is, but every sense of eloquence seems to have been expelled from his brain as he takes you in; lips swollen and wet from his kisses, pupils blown wide. Every breath you take pushes your chest up against his, and he can feel your heart thrumming against his body.
“Well, that was one way of shutting you up,” you chuckle with a cockiness that makes his heart speed up, though it isn’t borne out of embarrassment. Every single physiological effect of your body is evidence that you’re enjoying this, telling him you’re just as worked up as he is. The breathiness in your voice, the quickness of your heartbeat.
The fact that you’re pulling him down again, legs hooking around his hips. He surrenders to it, lips meeting yours once again, deeper and more desperate this time.
He closes his eyes, relishing this, kissing you, touching you, an act he had believed is reserved for attractive jocks and charismatic art nerds. Not him, quiet and lanky, shifting to avoid his angular bones from digging into you, and to place himself more comfortably on the bed. Inexperienced, ungainly, and yet here he is, his tongue pushing into your mouth in his first forays into something that his peers have experienced years ago.
Spencer Reid isn’t used to being the one behind, doing the catching up. Child prodigy, genius, the words aren’t meaningless. He’s been ahead academically—which, up until this point, has been his whole life. But feeling warm lips beneath his own has him reconsidering some of his life choices.
The kiss is messy. Sloppy from his clumsy attempts to keep up with your eagerness. You’re tugging at something, and he realizes it’s to untuck the rest of the crisp shirt you’ve donned for the debate tournament out from your skirt. His hands settle on your waist, finding smooth, heated skin from where your shirt has ridden up. Careful fingers help push it up, burying under the fabric until his palms are mapping out the slopes of your body.
Soft. So damn soft.
Not cold marble after all. He theorizes you must be soft everywhere, and he decides to test it out with his lips, laving kisses along your jaw, down the sweet, musky skin of your neck where your perfume still lingers. Instincts take over and he allows himself a taste, tongue darting out. You shudder, so he does it again, greedy for your pretty moans and gasps.
He can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips, “Thought you were mad at me?” he mumbles, trailing his kisses down the column of your throat.
You’re all mhms and ohhhs right now, so far from the usual image you present to the world, a preppy, manicured woman who wrestles for control over everything. You must hate this, he thinks, being beneath him physically, caged within his arms which are deceptively strong for how fragile he looks.
“Shut up,” you grumble.
“Make me.” His grin is dopey when he lifts his head to meet her gaze.
Something brushes against his crotch, and now he’s the one gasping, jerking in surprise at the friction. You’ve slotted your thigh between his, and his traitorous body responds by grinding down on it shamelessly. The look on your face is smug, triumphant.
“Huh,” saccharine and mocking, you blink up at him innocently, “That was easier than I thought.”
His head drops to your neck again, but he isn’t kissing you anymore. Just open mouthed breathing as he rubs himself on your thigh, hands tightening on your sides, “Mhm.”
“Are you gonna come? Spencer, I haven’t even touched you yet.”
He sinks his teeth into your flesh to fight the needy whines because yes, he’s so embarrassingly close and you’re both still fully dressed. He hears a hiss, and he backs off immediately, murmuring apologies, “Didn’t mean to—”
“‘S okay,” you tilt your head back, give him more access to your neck, “Just don’t leave marks.”
Permission to bite. He gulps, heart beating wildly, before ducking back down. Chapped lips run over your neck, finding a soft spot to bite, forcing himself to soften the way his teeth sink into your skin. All the while rubbing himself on your thigh because it’s probably the closest thing to heaven a man such as him will ever experience.
He hears your laughter, your mocking cooes of, “You’re so fucking needy” but he can’t bring himself to care.
You’re correct, he decides, as you usually are. He’s needy, desperately so, eagerly chasing the delicious pleasure of dry humping your thigh.
“Hold on, Spencer.”
You push him back gently. A whine rips from his throat, “Mhm—why?”
He gets his answer soon enough. Your hands undo his belt and he swears this sets his whole body on fire. Nobody’s ever seen him like this. Never has another person touched him so intimately, seen him so out of control, so brainless. He’s babbling incoherently as your hand strokes up and down his length, his hips rutting into your hand. It’s out of sync. Two dancers on entirely different rhythms.
Your laughter rings in his ears, one hand tangled in his hair as the other does unspeakable, tantalizing things to his aching cock.
“Mhm, can’t— I’m gonna—” and he’s spilling into your hand, hot, viscous liquid overflowing from your hand and staining your skirt, “Ah, shit.”
He collapses against you, head on the crook of your shoulder as he tries to catch his breath. “‘M sorry, I’ll– I’ll pay for your dry cleaning.”
Your chest shakes as you laugh, “Would you? I think you owe me more than that.” The heat in your voice makes his breath catch in his throat.
Soft kisses press upon your neck as he gathers his thoughts, willing his brain to work again. Anatomy, female anatomy. Female pleasure. What does he know about this? A lot, surprisingly, though mostly from books. Mostly in theory, but that’s a start. He can put them to practice right now. His hands drag down your sides until they catch the waistband of your skirt. “May I?”
“Okay.”
He pulls gently, exposing the rest of your thighs and legs. Honey brown eyes devour the expanse of your skin, hands clutching at the softness. He marvels at the way your flesh accepts his own, bright red splotches imprinted from his fingertips.
He thinks of poetry, the uncountable amount of words and phrases written to immortalize women and love and sex, and he finds himself wishing he has the skill to compose something as beautiful, something worthy of you right now, radiant and half naked and somehow all his.
But he is no poet, so he touches his lips upon your body instead. Pretty words will escape him, but his lips can speak even without them, he’ll make sure of it. He kisses down your abdomen, making sure to pay attention to every hidden freckle and birthmark he comes across. Your reactions make him feel drunk, to the point of affecting him physically. Messier kisses. Hands tugging and nearly ripping the lace of your panties because he’s unaware of his own strength.
“So pretty,” he mumbles, “So pretty.” It’s all he can repeat, but then his tongue lands on your slick heat and suddenly words are forgotten in favor of vague groaning. Because how can he accurately describe the sensation of this? Tasting you. God how has he gone so long without this? Your nails scraping his scalp, his fingers sinking into your thighs as he keeps you still. He’s halfway off the bed, legs dangling off the edge, your thighs squeezing his face.
There’s nowhere else he would rather be.
He laps at your folds like a mad man, tongue pressed flat and dragging up slowly to get as much of you in his mouth as possible. His feet find the floor, allowing himself more stability to once again rub his growing erection against a solid object. The poor mattress is going to be ruined once they’re done.
“Faster,” you gasp, jerking your hips into his face, “Spencer— oh, yeah like that!”
Spencer Reid is a quick study, and when he hears the positive reactions, he doubles down until he feels you convulse against his tongue. You jerk so violently he has to hold you down. He pushes his tongue past your entrance experimentally, and feels you tug roughly on his hair in response, gasping his name and God’s name in slurred phrases as you ride out your high.
It’s the hottest damn thing he’s ever experienced.
“Jesus Christ,” you gasp, and he has to repeat that ridiculous sentence again, because it’s true and he feels you deserve it.
“You’re so pretty.” He fears you might be some kind of magnet, because his lips keep getting drawn back to your skin. He lets his kisses travel up your hip bone, before grinning up at you, “Even when you’re being insufferable, you’re still so beautiful.”
“Gee thanks,” you huff, pulling at his arm, “How romantic, I’m swooning.”
“Might not be swooning, but you did just come on my face.” brilliant rows of teeth flash at you as he smiles smugly.
“Asshole.”
“Is that how you say thank you?” he drags his body up lazily, draping himself over you.
“I’m not— wait, are you hard again?”
“Uh…”
“Needy, needy boy.” you pull him down to you, and he almost protests, his chin and mouth still covered with your slick. But you don’t seem to care, so he follows your lead, God at this point he would follow you anywhere at all. You’re shifting beneath him, and the next thing he knows is your legs are wrapped around his waist again, your heat completely exposed and pressing against his cock.
“Mhm,” he pulls back, eyes wide, “I—”
“What?” you whisper, lifting your head to continue giving him kisses, teeth playfully nipping at his jaw, “It’s fine, I’m on birth control.”
“It’s not that,” he can’t deny you, his body relaxing back down over you. His lips catch yours for a moment, slow and achingly tender, “I’ve just never really done this before.”
He waits for the inevitable laughter. Here he is, at 21, and somehow still the same person he had been when he first entered college at 14. But you continue to look at him with heavy lids, breathless and flushed.
“Okay,” your voice is kind, sweet, “Take it slow then.” your hand wraps around his length again, the movement slower this time, as you align him to your entrance. He hisses as the sensitive tip grazes against your folds, as he feels your entrance slowly give way to him and envelop his cock.
“Oh,” he sighs. With your help, he sinks halfway into you, one hand gripping your hip, the other bracing himself on his elbow. Eyes squeezed shut, he stills and manages to ask, “Are you okay?”
You don’t speak, and so he forces his eyes to focus and look at you. The sight has him twitching inside you. Mouth agape and eyes hazy, you’re nodding up at him wordlessly as your hips rock up into his. “More.”
It’s exhilarating. He’s known you for the past year, worked alongside you but respected your need for distance. And now, here you are, not merely close, but one. Spencer sighs, and thrusts shallowly, eyes zeroed in on you and your reactions. He doesn’t want to hurt you, doesn’t want it to end too soon, so he moves slowly, dragging out his cock until only the tip rests inside you, then sliding into the hilt.
It elicits the most mellifluous sounds from you, making him smile in relief. He lets his forehead rest against yours, thrusts growing more confident, but still in that slow, almost dreamy pace. He memorizes every detail of this moment, from the way your eyes flutter closed, to the quiver of your legs as they wrap tighter around his thighs.
“So good,” he hears himself say, “God, you feel so good.”
“Mhm,” you nod, nails digging into his back, even through his clothes. In the heat of the moment, you’re both still half dressed, only getting rid of your bottom clothes in order to get what you need from each other, “More, Spencer, I need more.”
He nods, letting his thrusts grow faster, rougher. It’s an awkward angle, he’s afraid his knees will start cramping, but the feeling of being surrounded by your warmth, drowning in your moans has him reckless. “There?” he grunts, angling just so, and he can’t help the smirk on his face when he feels your walls clenching around him.
“There, there, yes!”
He’s not sure how he manages to last as long as he does. Maybe it’s the sheer desire to feel you fall apart, for his cock to be drenched in your slick that keeps his release at bay. Maybe he has too much pent up sexual energy that’s just been dying to come out. Whatever it is, he’s thankful for it, because it means he’s spending more time inside you, hips moving with so much impact he’s pushing you forward with each thrust.
“Yes, just like that.” you’re shuddering beneath him, and he moves his arm to the top of your head, creating a barrier between you and the headboard so you don’t hit it. He could stop, readjust your positions, but he doesn’t have it in him.
No, he wants to stay inside you, forever if there’s an anatomically feasible way to do it. But unless he invents it, he’ll settle for right now, settle for the heat between your bodies, and how you’re practically melting into the mattress, arching so prettily against him.
“You close?” he murmurs, one hand finding your clit, drawing gentle circles with his fingertips.
“No fair,” you whine, bucking into him, “That’s cheat— Spencer!”
You come undone in the most enthralling way, eyes squeezed shut, bottom lip bitten by your own lips. You squeeze and flutter around him, and he’s helpless to stop his own release, spilling deep inside you with a broken cry from his own mouth. Your name is whispered, over and over again, until he stills, his vision blurry as he collapses against you.
He curls around you, trying to get as close, “You—that was—wow.”
You giggle, still breathless and glassy eyed, “Are you sure that was your first time?”
“Yes,” he gives you a series of kisses along your temple, “Yes, it was. You—wow.” he carefully pulls out of you, hissing quietly when the cool air conditioned air hits his sensitive flesh. “Was that enough of an apology for not including you to our chess nights?”
“You’re making jokes now?”
“No,” he smiles, leaning away to look at you, all starry eyed and boneless, “Not a joke. Because if it’s not enough, I can do it again.” a kiss to your cheek, “And again.” one on the tip of your nose, “And again.”
When you laugh in response, he cups your cheek, “I mean it.” he says with all the seriousness he can muster.
“I’ll hold you to that.”
“Does this mean you’ll accept my invitations now?” he lights up, a large smile splitting his face.
“Only if it’s a date.”
"Then it's a date."
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