#gah I hurt them so much and I hurt because of it but

[skyloftian-nutcase]

He Runs, She Follows (Skyward Sword ficlet)

Whumptober day 15 - Suppressed suffering, "I'm fine."

There was something calming about the wind. It was a constant companion up in the skies, always caressing or pushing or fighting or helping. It sang or it screamed, carried leaves or uprooted plants. It was always there, always present, a familiarity in a world of change.

The wind on the Surface was different. Its noise was different, a rustling and whistling as it passed through mountains and trees. There were so many barriers to the wind on the Surface that sometimes there was no wind at all. The silence, the stillness of the air… it had been one of the most disturbing facets of that strange new world.

Link sat atop a lone sky island, staring down at the clouds beneath his feet as he dangled his legs over the edge. His loftwing lay curled up and fluffed beside him, feathers gently tickling his right ear. The wind played with his hair and his companion’s plumage alike, peppering a spritz of moisture against his face. His loftwing buried his head further into his feathers, fluffing up further against it.

The world looked so small down below. It was amazing how it was so vast. So empty. So overwhelming.

So exhausting.

Link had never been a particularly energetic person, but his energy had been present. He just wasn’t the best at directing it into focus sometimes. But ever since his journey… he’d just had no energy at all.

He’d tired to attribute it to his illness that he’d gotten at the end. Apparently he’d almost died. He remembered very little of it, and it… honestly didn’t bother him or surprise him that much. He supposed he should be more upset that he almost died, or grateful that he hadn’t, but… it wasn’t his first time almost dying on his adventure, and honestly… he didn’t have the energy to care.

Zelda was safe. It was over. That was all that mattered.

But it wasn’t over, was it? There was no going back to the way things were. He wouldn’t want to go back to the way things were. He was exhausted, but he was restless too. He hated the mixture, such a strange sensation of anxiety, of needing to do something, but also wanting to do absolutely nothing. His mind and body were constantly at war and he never could tell who won anymore. All he knew was he wanted to be alone.

He… felt so empty. His mind, once filled with contentment, was instead blank. When someone approached him he would grow irritable. Today he even started getting short with Zelda, and that was when he’d decided to fly away for a bit.

What’s wrong with me? Why am I always so tired now? I mean… I used to be sleepy before, but this is…

It wasn’t the same. Link wasn’t the best sleeper – he would go in spurts, and he often stayed up most of the night with bouts of energy that would end up with wood carvings aplenty and late morning sleeping and naps anywhere he could find them. But now… even sleep didn’t fix it. There wasn’t enough sleep in the world to heal whatever was wrong with him. And he hated it. It scared him and hurt him and he hated it.

Crimson stirred, his head poking out of his feathers, and he gently bumped his beak against Link’s head. The Skyloftian glanced up at his companion, tired eyes meeting wide, curious ones, and the knight-in-training crumpled in on himself a little. He hadn’t even been spending as much time with his loftwing as he used to because he just hadn’t had the energy to take care of him. The innocent gaze from his beloved companion was enough to make guilt settle into his heart, and he felt all the more wretched for it.

How much time had he wasted lying around doing nothing now? How many people could he have helped? How many times did he almost refuse to help others during his journey as it had dragged on? How often had he pushed Zelda away since its completion? How much had be abandoned his loftwing? Had he even spoken to Groose in the last few days? What was wrong with him?

His eyes stung, but the wind dried his tears before they could fall too far, its whooshing call covered his hiccups as he leaned into his loftwing, hugging his neck.

He almost missed the call of another loftwing over all the noise and emotion, but Crimson stiffened and perked up, calling back. Link hastily wiped the tears away, looking out to see Indigo, Zelda’s loftwing, circling the island. When his eyes caught movement below the loftwing, he saw that Zelda had leapt off and glided down to meet him.

Link tried to muster the strength for a smile. He really did.

“Hey,” Zelda said a little hesitantly. Her soft voice and careful gaze cut into him like a knife. She was approaching like it was her fault he’d been mad earlier, she was trying so hard to be understanding and kind, it wasn’t fair that she had to deal with him like this.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that anyone on Skyloft had to deal with his lack of energy and short fuse. But most of all, he had no right to be putting any burden on Zelda.

Link swallowed the lump in his throat, chest too constricted to speak.

Zelda slid hesitantly down to the ground beside him. His loftwing clacked his beak welcomingly, nodding his head a little, and then returned to curling into his little fluffy ball.

“You okay?” Zelda asked, staring out into the distance.

Link immediately felt himself grow colder than the wind could ever make him. He bit his tongue, he thought of something completely irrelevant, something logical or distant or funny to shut off any emotional reaction he was having. “I’m fine.”

“You weren’t… acting fine earlier.”

That cloud in the distance looked like a kikwi. How lovely. Kind of cute too. “Sorry about that. I think I was just tired. But I’m fine.”

“If you’re tired… maybe we should go back to the academy? You can get some rest, I can get you something to eat and drink.”

Movement meant using energy. Skyloft meant people and dealing with socializing. He felt the anger return, prickling on the back of his neck.

He kept his mouth shut. He didn’t like the person he became when his exhaustion drove him to speak too sharply. Not to people who sincerely meant well, at least. So he just didn’t speak.

“Link?”

He felt like he was made of stone. Immovable and emotionless. But the anger still bubbled, spreading from his back to his chest, scrunching it in like bunched up cloth in his hands. He bit back words once more.

“Link, what’s wrong?”

She didn’t deserve to be treated like this. She didn’t. It wasn’t like she hadn’t gone through hell and back, like she hadn’t had to sacrifice herself to protect everyone. Had he even considered how her journey had left her feeling? Especially since Impa had died?

“I’m sorry,” he finally choked out, and it was like opening a hatch to those geysers in the ancient cistern, because damn it all he could not keep his heart off his sleeve for long when it was bleeding so much. “I’m sorry I’ve been like this. I’m sorry I’m always tired. I’m sorry I’m—”

I’m not okay. I’m not okay I’m not okay I’mnotokay—

The silence was filled with the wind. It pushed the words back into him, pushed the thoughts away so he could just… exist again. Zelda’s eyes were intense on him, a heaviness and heat that was scorching him like the sun, but he ignored her, continuing to look at the kikwi shaped cloud.

“I’m sorry too.”

Link finally looked at her. Her gaze was on her hands, which were bunching up fistfuls of her skirt.

“Don’t,” he immediately said before emotions caught his voice in a chokehold. He swallowed against it. “Don’t be sorry.”

“This is my fault,” Zelda argued, her voice wobbling. “You almost died because of me, you’re exhausted because of me—”

“And if I wasn’t?” Link fired back, facing her, his anger spilling out of him. “If you hadn’t chosen me? If you were just down there alone with Impa? You would still be sealed away in that crystal, forever trying to hold Demise back only for the seal to break and for him to destroy everything and everyone. I would have died if you hadn’t chosen me.”

Everyone would have died. Not that Link was trying to emphasize that he rescued everyone… it honestly still didn’t really click. It felt wrong to even argue that point now. But what did feel right was to be angry, to immediately tear down Zelda’s faulty logic, to make sure she knew that this was not at all her fault.

But the tears on her face immediately made the anger recede, and he was left feeling guiltier than ever. He tried softening the blow. “Besides, Ghirahim’s a creep, and you definitely would’ve met him if he wasn’t too busy whining to me about everything.”

This finally pulled a laugh from his friend, though a sad little hiccup followed, and she wiped her tears away. It gave Link a moment, just a moment, to find a shred of energy in himself to actually be empathetic.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated his earlier apology.

“You don’t get to start that too,” Zelda huffed sadly, giving him a weak punch in the arm. “If I can’t apologize, then you can’t.”

Honestly, he needed to apologize. His argument to Zelda had been correct – she couldn’t help the circumstances they had ended up in. She couldn’t help that destiny had demanded they sacrifice their innocence and sanity to protect everyone else from another war, from an apocalypse. But he could help snapping at everyone. He could help his own behavior. However, trying now, pushing past her rebuttal, would only bring the tears back and he… didn’t have the energy for that. He didn’t want to deal with that.

He felt so drained. He dropped the subject altogether.

“Link… are you sure you’re okay?”

This conversation was going in circles and it was going to drive him insane. Crimson grew agitated, sensing his own frustration.

“Look,” Zelda continued, rising to her feet. “I… I don’t know what’s wrong, but I know something is. And if you can’t talk about it, then… then okay. But… at least let me help?”

How the hell could she help?! What sort of help could anyone offer? He was just tired, he wanted to be left alone.

But this was Zelda. He couldn’t say that to her.

Link closed his eyes, and the wind blew harder. He took a deep breath, letting the moving air overinflate his lungs, giving him a dizzy spell, speeding up his heart rate as the gust pushed him back into the island a little bit. He tilted forward to fight it, losing himself to the sky for a moment.

Zelda was grieving and he had no right to add to that. Zelda was processing everything and he had no right to add to that.

“Let’s go back to Skyloft,” he said to appease her, though he didn’t move.

Zelda was quiet for a long time. When she finally acknowledged him with a small okay, it didn’t sound any more reassured than before. Crimson chittered anxiously, slowly standing and stretching one wing.

Link took another breath, energy flooding him with some unnamed emotion as the silence grew too deafening, the wind too quiet, Zelda’s stare too intense, and he pushed himself off the island altogether. The instant lift in his stomach, the immediate disappearance of the earth below, the sudden sensation of freefall overtook him, and goddess above he just wanted to be like this forever, freefalling with nothing to land on, nothing to hurt him, nothing to catch him, nothing to run to, and nothing to run from.

His loftwing flew alongside him, awaiting his call. The clouds grew closer, though the barrier they used to create was long gone. He passed through a small wisp of one and was instantly soaked and freezing, the air knocked out of his lungs. The jolt of reality came back to him, and his fingers found their way into his lips to whistle, bringing his loftwing below him.

When he started to climb once more, settled on Crimson’s back, Zelda and Indigo flew alongside him. He threw her a smile, and she gave a small one back.

The pair circled Skyloft for a minute or so before they both leapt off their mounts. Link landed closer to the academy so he could interact with as few people as possible. Zelda followed him.

“Link,” she called as he made his way to his room. He turned to her, and she gave another smile, small, hurting, but hopeful. “We’ll get better. I promise.”

Her words were so simple, and had so little energy behind them. She looked as exhausted as he felt. He was overcome with guilt once again, but this time he didn’t have energy to maintain it. Instead, he just walked towards her, falling easily into her embrace as the two leaned against each other. He remembered catching her just a week or so ago when she had exited that wretched crystal. He remembered how she’d trembled when she’d been walking alongside him. He held her tightly, trying to support her, but by all that was holy all he wanted to do was just sink into her arms as she had into his. But he wouldn’t do that to her. He couldn’t.

“We will,” he promised in return.

[quietwingsinthesky]

for the ship ask game, have you ever thought about simm!master/eleven? would you like to?

would i ever!!!!!!

this was the basis of one of my posts about little amy so long ago. a hypothetical s5 where the master sticks with the doctor after he regenerates. but like can we talk about how insane that dynamic between him and amelia, the literal eight year old, would be. look at me. one of the defining things of eleven's run is that the first face he saw was amy's. seared onto his hearts!!! now, imagine that happens in a world where the master did everything right to be that person, and it was still amy. the tardis crashed, and the doctor went one way and the master went the other, and by the time the master drags himself soaking wet out of what was the swimming pool and into amelia's garden, the doctor is already having dinner with some random human child.

things simm!master is not above: being a little bitch to amy about this. yes, even when she's eight. (amelia pond with her stories about her magical raggedy doctor!! ...and the trash rat who crawled out of his time machine after him and threatened to eat her. wait okay hold on i know im getting distracted here but aslkjdalkjsd rory who amy makes dress up as the doctor vs mels who insists on dressing up as the master because she craves violence and an excuse to bite people.)

ANYWAY. god. eleven who is this bottomless well of grief and rage. and the master who is so much like him in this incarnation. silly goofy guys who burn too bright, burn up everything and everyone around them. what is simm!master if not a version of eleven untempered by kindness. i wonder what the master would have to say about a version of the doctor who is aware of how scared people are of him and uses it to his advantage. who scares the rest of the universe so much that they try to lock him away and kill him and do anything they can to get rid of him. when they lock the doctor up in the pandorica, does the master give him the final shove into the chair or is he a few feet away, just barely restrained, impotently snapping and snarling to prevent this?

but never looking at it directly, right? neither of them would be able to. not at what's between them, not at what came before. if you don't talk about that time you both saved each other, then maybe you can pretend it didn't happen.

i think the master would make eleven worse, no doubt about it. i think eleven might just make the master a little better, and he'd hate that but that wouldn't stop it from happening. they might find some sort of equilibrium, just this once, a little willing to bend in the aftermath of the events of the end of time. that part of the master that will be missy one day wakes up. the part of the doctor that was once the time lord victorious gets a last glorious breath. they can have that, together.

okay. okay. one last thing. gets ill thinking about eleven who is so physically affectionate being that way with the master. with mr 'im going to kiss my wife i married for political gain like im starving'. with mr 'time lord telepathy does not require physical contact but if we don't touch foreheads right now ill die'. with mr 'fuck u but also im gonna die in your arms, don't leave or let me go before everything falls quiet.' thinks about eleven touching him and hugging him and kissing him and- thinks about the master recoiling from it, hackles raised, or shoving the doctor away when he does. thinks about the doctor not stopping. thinks about the master getting accustomed to his touch, taking it greedily. (thinks about missy kissing the doctor to greet him later.)

yeag <3

[put any ship in my ask box and i’ll give my brutally honest opinion]

[kairithemang0]

My love hate relationship with curtwen gets worse every day. Maybe love hate isn’t a good term for it. I always love them and I sometimes hate how much I actually love them. Dang spies… stupid freaking spies

[gods-perfect-idiots]

Agreed! I am def taking some liberties by assuming a detail-oriented intentionality that I cannot be sure was present here (no shade to the creators of the film, they had a lot to balance and squeeze in and I can't say I would've done any better), but given how little they gave Vanessa/Morena Baccarin to do in the script I think she gave a lot of depth to the character! It's easy to brush her off as incidental or unimportant or underwritten (I know I did the first couple watch throughs since the Vanessa stuff felt kinda shoehorned in and forced, especially without having recently seen the first two movies) but given the context of dp1 and 2, I think they did a good job of giving us just enough to make it make narrative sense in a background arc way that didn't detract from the larger story.

I have been looking for the screenshot from the memory when she says "your crazy matches my crazy" because the more I think about it the more gutted I am by her delivery. (EDIT: shoutout to my pal @gossippool for sending this along! god I'm about to cry she looks so broken) She's clearly on the verge of tears - she LOVES him, she MISSES him, she can't even begin to grasp what has changed in him and she doesn't know what to do about it except to say "I love you" in their specific sweet way that harkens back to the beginning, but in that moment I think you can see that she realizes it's not enough. And damn, if that doesn't hit hard. Because sometimes you love someone so so much and it isn't enough.

More ramblings below the cut

It also makes me wonder when that memory took place, because I think it could have been the actual moment they broke up. We don't see the actual way the memory ended after all. If Cassandra was able to grab that memory immediately out of all of Wade's memories, it must have been an important moment to him so it makes me think that was the catalyst for them finally breaking up, hence why she picks it out of all the memories he has of Vanessa. And that scene does a very good job of encapsulating how much Vanessa loves him and wants to help him, makes it feel like she's been reaching out to him for ages trying to bring him back to her. It's gut-wrenching honestly the more I think about it, especially when you consider that his last thought before he thinks he's about to be torn apart atom by atom is "I want to see Vanessa". I feel like in that moment he really realizes what she wanted from him, and why he wasn't able to give it to her, and that he would save the universe for her anyway because he would do anything for her, even if they've grown apart and can't be together anymore. She still gave his life meaning when he had no one, she still stuck with him when he had cancer, she stayed with him and wanted to have a family even after he got his powers, and for better or for worse he became Deadpool *because* he couldn't bear to die and leave her.

Which is why right after he has that thought he turns to look at Logan. I think in that moment he does begin to realize the real weight of the sacrifice they are both making, and that that's what matters - not being an Avenger, not getting revenge, not getting the girl, not saving the world, not even proving that you matter. Underneath all the jokes and all the pain, what matters is loving and being loved, even though it hurts and can end at any time, it's still worth it.

idk sorry just so many big feelings about this movie at all times bursting out of me

Okay bear with me folks, I have some ~thoughts~ about the Vanessa/Wade relationship (or frankly lack thereof) in Deadpool & Wolverine. I should start by saying that I am analyzing this with the (likely erroneous) assumption that everything on screen is 100% intentional and mindfully written to deepen the characters and inform their arcs. For the record, I don't necessarily believe that's true - there is certainly room for mistakes, lazy writing, confusing plot elements, or in this case, sidelining a potentially strong and important character for nebulous reasons (I'm guessing scheduling conflicts + run time concerns + actor's strike complications but idk for sure). (Also thanks to @gossippool and @kendyroy for encouraging me to post my thoughts instead of just rambling in the tags in the first place, y'all are the realest)

Long rambly post below the cut fyi

Now, granted, it has been a while since I watched the original Deadpool so I am not as well-versed in their early relationship as I am in the handful of scenes Morena Baccarin has in dp3, but I do think it is pretty canon that Wade generally struggles to express his deeper worries and feelings (without filtering it heavily through crude humor, sex, and pop culture references of course), especially after the events of dp1 and the physical and mental damage he sustains, and Vanessa is frankly no exception despite how much he cares for her. The entire first movie hinges on the fact that he doesn't really believe she could love him in his post-Francis mangled state, which is pretty contrived imp given that the film has established already how bonded they are, and she doesn't strike me as being written to be so shallow as to reject him based on a physical deformity. I mean iirc she wanted to stick around through chemo despite him being literally riddled with inoperable cancer, so she clearly is in it for the long haul (at least in dp1), messiness and all.

Now, in dp2, obviously she is shot and killed early in the film, and Wade spends much of the rest of the film wallowing in his very profound grief over losing her. He goes to prison, he basically gives up on life and seems very resigned to dying once he has the power suppressant collar on, almost excited to do so so he can be reunited with her. She is mostly sidelined as a Fuzzy Dead Wife trope basically, but the important thing here is that he spends weeks if not months in the throes of despair over losing the love of his life just as they were trying to start a family.

Now, my first couple times watching dp3 I was frustrated by the kinda trite narrative presented in the interview scene towards the beginning - specifically Wade's whole "my girl is getting tired of my shtick and I need to show her I matter". It felt contrived and disingenuous, and I just brushed it off as iffy writing, a means to an end, but the more I reflect upon it the more I think it is based in an emotional reality that is just handled very lightly by the film in favor of fanservice and Poolverine content (NOT that I'm complaining in the slightest - I think this movie is a masterpiece in many ways, albeit a flawed one but that's beside the point here).

Basically, I think the combination of what happened to him in dp1 (the brain damage, the trauma, the awareness of the fourth wall, etc) followed by the events of dp2 (Vanessa's death, his grief and the associated guilt and trauma of being the direct cause of her death) lead to an unbridgeable emotional gap between the two of them that ultimately leads to their breakup.

It's important to note that Vanessa doesn't have any recollection of dying I don't think, and of course cannot fully fathom what Wade went through grieving her and their life together and their potential family for however long he spent between her death and bringing her back with Cable's device.

The one scene we really see from their relationship between dp2 and dp3 is the one where Cassandra mind-gropes Wade in the Void and we see Vanessa struggling to reach Wade across this aforementioned gap - she wants him to open up, she wants him to share what he's going through, she wants him to be the person she initially fell in love with. But not only does he not understand what she's really asking for (he responds in such a way that makes me think he has unprocessed issues that are only tangentially related to what she's saying - ie the stuff about mattering, about asking her if she even wants to be with him, etc). And he's not the Wade Wilson she met anymore. He watched her die and grieved her and brought her back believing it would make everything go back to normal, but he has been fundamentally changed in a way that she can't grasp, even if he was good at externally processing honestly and openly without the artifice of wry jokes. She didn't "come back wrong" - instead, she came back exactly the same as before but he's different now.

It's an interesting scene because it's obviously a memory, but you can see how Wade is misunderstanding what she's saying - he takes away that she thinks he doesn't matter (even though like he says she didn't actually say that, but I don't think Cassandra invented that wholecloth - I think she pulled it out of his psyche because that's what he believes deep down), he takes away that she doesn't want to be with him, that she thinks he's nothing. Which would be frustrating to witness as a pretty simple misunderstanding, but it feels believable to me that these two people who have shared a great love would be fundamentally separated by unimaginable, cosmic trauma. It was one thing when they had shared trauma like violence and SA in dp1, but what Wade has gone through in dp1 and dp2, humor aside, is unfathomably traumatic, brain-breakingly so even.

I think off-screen Vanessa probably really tried to reach him, maybe for years, trying to get her Wade back, but that Wade is gone and he struggled to express that to her until eventually he started to feel rejected because he couldn't express his trauma or how much he has changed. The truth is, he WANTS to be that Wade again, for her and for himself, but that Wade died when she died. Or maybe he had already started dying when Francis got a hold of him in dp1.

Anyway, all this is to say, I think Morena Baccarin was criminally underutilized in dp2 and dp3, but I think there is a strong argument to be made for the believability of their breakup. I think even relationships built on enormous love can crumble due to trauma, and what Wade suffers over these movies is enormous. It's especially heartbreaking that he blames himself for their relationship ending, talks like she just got tired of him, thought he didn't matter, whatever. But it is a credit to him that he never seems to feel anger towards her about it. He doesn't seem to feel entitled to her, though he longs for her and what they had and what she represented (hope, love, a future, a family), but ultimately she becomes more of a symbol of what he lost when he gained his powers, because let's be super fr right now - even if they had succeeded in having a baby, not only would they have lived in fear of her or the kid getting killed, but ultimately Wade would likely outlive both of them. The moment he gained his powers he was already starting to lose her, which is heartbreaking because she was the only reason he opted for the treatment in the first place - so he could stay with her.

I think a big part of Deadpool & Wolverine is watching Wade continue to process his own motivations (vis-a-vis Vanessa but also his other friends) and how he does eventually let go of the idea of "mattering" in favor of just saving the people he cares about (*cough* and being saved right back *cough* by Wolvie, as the final line and shot implies). And in the process he finds someone new who cares about him, who thinks he matters, who tries to sacrifice himself for him and his friends, who comes home with him at the end of the movie, who has also experienced unimaginable grief and trauma, who not only matches his crazy but matches his FREAK and also cannot be randomly killed by a stray bullet.

Idk if any of this makes much sense but I do think if you read between the lines and consider the potency of trauma and grief at play here, Vanessa and Wade's off-screen breakup is actually pretty realistic, and really heart-breaking to boot.

You can tell she still cares about him in so many ways - she shows up for his birthday party, she shows up to his party at the end, she finds excuses for physical contact multiple times, her eyes get soft when she looks at him, but there is a distance there that Morena Baccarin does an incredible job of portraying. She cares about him deeply, she has mourned the loss of their potential life together, but she wants him in her life even though she's moving on because she realizes he's gone somewhere she can't follow (literally and figuratively).

Anyway. Poolverine forever. Nothing against Vanessa but I think their relationship was sadly doomed from the start because Wade becomes this traumatized superhuman and Vanessa would always be at risk but also always on the outside of his multiverse superhero experiences. I think it's weirdly beautiful, even if I am filling in a lot of gaps and giving the writers maybe undue credit.

Anyway... thoughts? Please DM me or write in the tags. I am feral about this movie and just want to talk about it with anyone haha. If you have further insight into these characters too I'd love to hear it - I am by no means an expert in these movies or characters!

[brainfullofbees]

.

[10underoot2]

I thought I would have so much to say about the car accident scene. And while I could go on for a while on why it's everything I've ever wanted from a scene of this nature and why it's a beautifully acted cinematic piece, I do think the beauty of the scene lies so much in silence. Their expressions are do a fantastic job to express their emotional state so I'm just gonna call attention to a few things I won't get over anytime soon.

Imagine being Haein and seeing your husband wrecking a car window in hysteria. Imagine seeing disbelief on his face when he sees you and walks towards you. Imagine watching him unable to breathe properly (sound on and high for this scene). Imagine seeing life flood into him as soon as you touch him.

Jiwon plays such an important part here. Because Haein has NEVER seen Hyunwoo like this. He's a pretty calm nice, non-violent guy. She knows him to like mostly everyone and he rarely gets angry - he's pretty composed. But then what is this look of complete shattered pain on his face? With a mix of disbelief, bearing the heaviest heart on the planet? He's unrecognisable to her. She can't make sense of any of his actions. She's in utter shock hearing how hardly any air is making it's way into his lungs.

In his eyes is a look of crazed wilderness just tamed. He's out of his sense. Completely lost in the events that have just passed. Not believing that he can breathe. That it's okay. All is well in the world for now. She's unscathed.

'What's going on? Calm down.'

The way she asks him to calm down - touching his face - cause she just doesn't know what in the world could send him in such a frenzy to forget himself. Her asking him to calm down here is everything to me. She's really just saying I'm here okay. Calm down. Calm down, you can breathe. Tell me what happened and I can fix it.

'Even still, Are you crazy? How could you break the window with your bare hands? Look at this!'

I know it probably didn't register to him at that point. But he's hearing her being worried for him again when he thought her lost forever. Wouldn't that sound like music to his ears.

And her...god she's so worried for him. She's never seen him like this. She doesn't know what happened to make him like this. One she sees his absolutely broken bloody hand. Two she's seeing her husband absolutely crushed. She's so confused.

That is until his words hit her like a truck. I think she had an idea that he did it to save her but she didn't know he did it because he thought her dead. And that makes all the difference for her.

Also I thought it was very interesting to keep showing his injured hand clenching. I think it was a way to show how the physical pain still didn't hold a candle to his emotional turmoil. He CLENCHES that broken hand multiple times. I can't even begin to think when he actively registered the pain.

The need for constant touch to reaffirm that she indeed is there. The sitting down. The head on her hand. The heavy breathing. *Chef's kiss*

I love women comforting the man they love when he's broken. Gah! That hand on his face and hug. Her embracing him. Letting him cry all he wants. Giving him the reaffirmation he needs by placing her self as close to him as possible. Trying to tame and override his sense. The hand on the nape of his neck. The hand caressing his hair lovingly. And good god, the RINGS.

Also notice his breathing on her shoulder. He's trying to calm himself. Telling himself she's here. Hearing her say it's alright. Everything will be alright.

I'm sure they stay like this until the ambulance comes and asks them if they're hurt. Only then Haein must've gently tore him apart from her (hand on his face again ofcourse) and convinced/guided him to finally get treatment. I can just Imagine Hyunwoo completely dishevelled going, 'Huh *sniffs*......oh.......Right, my hand' and that's when the pain hits him.

Special mention to the hospital conversation when Haein asks him 'Will you sob like this if I die?' and he says truthfully, bashfully, embarrassed but without missing a beat 'Ofcourse.' He's hiding behind nothing. He truly meant to give up on himself after her.

For me this is also the night Haein starts to write her diary. Hyunwoo must've been sound asleep, amped up on painkillers and she must've had so much time to sit and admire him and write.

Gif credits: @wolha and @seawherethesunsets

[koolades-world]

Hello there! hope your day is going good and if not I hope it gets better.

I was wondering if I could request a scenario (you can do headcanon format) Where Mc is in a life or death because a lower demon is about to kill them and Mc actually kills the lower demon with their own magic. how would the undatables react/comfort Mc after they killed someone because their life was in danger.

Thank you in advance if you do decide to write and make sure to stay hydrated!

hi there! i can do that :)

hope you're having a great day too <3 just drank water with a liquid iv in it so hopefully im super hydrated now haha. i've had a bit of a sore throat for the past few days now so i've been really chugging water better than i usually have which says a lot! love me my 30 oz water bottle that goes everywhere with me

enjoy!

Undatables react to Mc killing a lower demon while defending themself

Diavolo

he's very proud of you but quickly goes on high alert

you've never seen him more serious

he's doing all sorts of things such as upping security measures and looking into the background of the now deceased demon to ensure your safety and to make sure there wasn't anything more behind the attack

he makes sure to give you a huge hug and lets you know exactly how he feels <3

Barbatos

if you hadn't killed them, he would've finished the job for you

since there's no work there for him to do, he'll be taking a visit to see that demon's relatives in the near future

in the meantime, he'll help you unwind and try to take your mind off it

perhaps a tea party with all your favorite treats and little d's there, if you'd like :)

Simeon

he won't ask questions and he'll heal you no matter what

even if you didn't get very hurt, he insists you stay under his care for a little bit

you'll get the best bedside care and soup ever

let him dote on you, it'll make him feel better too knowing you're safe in his arms <3

Luke

he's immediately freaking out

what do you mean a lower demon tried to kill you!!!

100% in tears and refuses to let you out of death grip hug he has on you

the next day, he gifts you an amulet with an angelic blessing on it and asks you to carry it everywhere with you. doesn't care if that means the brothers can't get anywhere near you now. better for him that way anyways haha

Solomon

he's very impressed!

gah they grow up so fast. it felt like just yesterday he gave you the nickname of his apprentice

deep underneath his gushing, he's worried but he knows that you're capable

even goes as far as to give a few little tips for the future. love at it's finest haha

Mephisto

he's furious with himself that he even let you get in that situation

he almost feels as if he's failed you, but he tries to hold up a facade of nonchalantness

it won't take much coaxing to break down this barrier and see how upset he actually is

if you notice him being extra loving in the next week or so, try not to comment on it but accept his affections

Thirteen

she's with you as much as she can be, but she knows it's just impossible to be by your side all the time

she's angry at herself and the now dead lower demon because that window of time when she's away is never very large

but, she knows you are more than strong enough to take care of yourself if it wasn't already apparent before

she'll make excuse after excuse to be with you until she eventually just spills the beans. she really cares about you <33

Raphael

he's gonna check you at least three times over to make sure you're alright

but right after he almost scolds you, in a loving way

he tells you he should've been the one to do it and that he should've been by your side

he was just very nervous he could've lost you, but is so proud of how you stood up for yourself <3

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I Still On1y Care About...

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Sept 2024 Week 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 7 of 12 - Deeeelightful. They are so damn cute + a nice kiss! The rise of the green flag semes continues. I like it when Diew flirts and shows that he does have some experience in a relationship, and he can/will flex his power. Props to God for being a man who remembers to TAKE HIS DRINK with him. 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 4 of 10 - Yep I still like it and all its toxicity. It’s fun to see how closely it follows the original. Now I really can’t wait to see how this one ends. Since this time around we get an actual ending.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 6 of 12 - How did they know that what I wanted more than anything was a side couple = spoiled prince + demon lord? How clever they are to give them to me. Meanwhile, in a shocking twist, the leads have known each other since childhood. Because why be original? 

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Oh it’s very cute. I love Ing. I love that Ai was honest with his bestie. Best friend's older brother trope is a go! Also good kisses all round. 

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 1 of 12 - Ohm has his shirt off less than 5 min in. I guess GMMTV is learning what we want. My boy Title is the creep character again. I’m assuming that’s why GMMTV brought him on board at this juncture. Sigh. New boy, Q, looks like Mek’s younger brother. Ultimately? I'm not convinced on this one. It is doing what it says on the tin, but nothing more than that. I’m not wild about it, but I will keep watching.

The Trainee (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - The more OffGun BLs, the more time they spend communicating as characters in those BLs. It’s kind of charming. They've become the pair that advocates for communication in relationships. I like it as evolution for their brand. Flirting via the printer was very fun. Especially as the Thai script is so beautiful.

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - I guess this is a lockdown narrative? Odd choice. A lot of familiar faces but from more minor rolls. Is this from the Destiny Seeker people? It feels like that. It’s a bigger cast than I was expecting, and a sort of classic university BL of the kind star Hunter produces. Or the end of love people. Pretty classic Thai pulp stuff. I’m mildly enjoying it. Hali is too hot to be the dorky second lead. Nice to see Boat back on my screen. However, it is… what’s the word I am looking for? Oh yes. Boring. Plus singing. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 5-6 of 12 - I entirely lost my mind over this show this week. Fuck me it's so good. The delicacy sends me. I keep expecting it to be clumsy and then is just isn't - it's so subtle and it demands we pay such close attention. I feel like I'm holding my breath the whole time I'm watching.

Cliff's notes on these 2 eps as follows:

The pure unadulterated tsundere of it all.

The awesome angst, it aches.

The series of repercussions after the fight was pacing genius.

The brilliant juxtaposition of "the kid who self isolates too easily" versus "the one who has been forced into isolation" meets both of them being smart enough to know why they react out of hurt, but neither can stop doing it.

Baby’s reaction to learning he’s going to be left behind = to instantly make plans to do the leaving in the future hurts my heart in the best possible way.

"Maybe what we call eternity is just persistence."

Maybe one boy simply deciding to be another boy's rock is romance. 

Production better nail the second half of this show! It better be the world against them from here on out or the audience is gonna riot.

And by "audience" I mean me.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 5 of 10 - Oh noes! Poor baby boy!!! My heart hurts. But also gah so cute and next week they shack up together! Hooray! 

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 11 - too much time spent on the girl again. I don’t need excuses for why she’s a bitch. So can we talk about Taichi instead? It’s such a good characterization, this boy who understands everything about other people but doesn’t notice anything about himself, including his own abilities of observation. The person who is special never realizes how special they are, I guess. The soundscapes are so good with this show. The moments where prod decided to be silent are so vital and so pivotal and used with such delicacy and strategy, it’s truly audio magic manipulation.  

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 7-8 of 12 - I loved how Orca just jumped on the stage. What a great side couple. CHARMED I TELL YOU. Orca was all… singing? Naw. I came back to fuck the manager's brains out. Anything less than that is unacceptable. 

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 10 fin - Essentially this was a growth story for Takara and an exercise in patience while the two of them learned each other’s quirks and languages. It was also an exercise in patience for me... who doesn’t like the power differential of a weaker younger character having to do all the pursuing while constantly feeling like he is inferior to the older popular hot character. I know this was a BL that was definitely for some people, since plenty liked it way more than I did, but I didn’t like it very much even though there’s nothing objectively wrong with it. It simply wasn’t to my personal taste. 7/10 

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 5-6 of 8 - Enter an ex or something? Well he certainly has a type. Bah. This whole series seems to be mainly about cheating. It’s very annoying because they are all so pretty. 

Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - Based on a manga, longer than usual run time. A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL. Messy gay pain here we go.

Oh it’s exactly what I expected. Do I like it? No I do not. And ya know what? There is plenty airing. I have a bad feeling about this one. DNF 

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Sat Gaga) eps 1-6 of 8 - Gaga picked this one up so we can watch it there. I'm waiting until the end, it seems angsty and confusing and full of awful people being awful. But also... high heat and I'm shallow. So we shall see which devil wins (and how it ends).

The Hidden Moon (Sat ????) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) ‘เดือนพราง’ by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger)... A Bangkok writer is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai which is being converted into a café. He gets into an accident and nearly dies on his way there. After that, he sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, one boy catches his attention. Was substantially recast. Couldn't find it. Didn't really look.

In case you missed it

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. It's just taking me some time. This isn't really a bingable show, not for me anyway. It's A LOT to take all at once. No new one this week.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Plus:

9/9 Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) 12 eps? - Be gay YinWar, do crimes. Dehup gives us Yin, War, Mark and a few other familiar faces in a Leverage sitch, only queerer.

9/14 Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sat ????) ?? eps - Remake of the original. I'm scared too.

9/15 Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - Assistant to a player boss who is in love with that boss decides to quit to save himself. The boss then makes a move. (A gay What's up with Secretary Kim?)

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming SEPTEMBER 2024:

9/17 Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 eps - Lawyer and a con artist meet at a bar, pair up, fall in love.

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

9/? The Time of Fever (Korea iQIYI) 6 eps - HoTae & DongHee are back! Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names I an WILD for this.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Not sure what this is from but I capped it for a reason so, shrug.

The scent trope AND the childhood crush trope? I see you suckering me into one trope because I like the other. Clever, Battle. Very clever.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[altheneum-library]

If only you'd come to my warm heart

╭──╯ . . . . .⍣ ೋ

INCLUDES: One sided romantic Sebastian Solace/Reader

CONTAINS: Reader death, description of blood and gore, angst

NOW PLAYING: Jo Deok Bae - If You Come Into My Heart

INSPIRED BY: Vivinos's "Beloved"

SUMMARY: a oneshot in which Sebastian falls for you and tries hard to suppress it for he had loved another before and possibly lost them, he is afraid, and thus does his best to act like he doesn't favor you over others. Alas, he had a nightmare about your death in which causes for him to actually fall for you more much to his agony. he misses you.

WRITER'S NOTE: this post is pretty long, sorry about that! it may also be a bit ooc? I did my best to make him as close to canon as possible personality wise but I had so much fun! so please enjoy reading this!

⍣ ೋ. . . . . ╰──╮

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

You were such a stubborn yet amusing expendable to both see and watch, how did he end up this way? how did he end up just...falling for YOU of all people? of everyone he could have fallen for he fell for you. you.

Sebastian was this close to asking any sort of god out there why he had to be hit with that stupid cupid's arrow and you just had to be there, oh how convenient.

Sebastian loved someone else before, long ago of course, but it was still love either way. He lost that person by now anyways so why now of all times? why now when he's lost his humanity? his basic mentality to be vulnerable around someone who was literally weaker than he was due to his mutations?

everything down here sucked and here you are. making it less... sorta sh💩tty for him somehow? I mean, you sure can be annoying and you can be a little childish but isn't anyone as petty as a child was at some point? oh how Sebastian tried so hard to try to make sense of you, make sense of your chaotic antics, just make sense of why he liked you in any way possible.

Was it because you like to banter with him, giving some sass back which surprises yet gets a chuckle out of him? or was it that you actually stood up for him, lightly scolding your friends that flashing his poor eyes with the flash beacon was an ass thing to do to Sebastian considering his DNA or whichever else?

No. it couldn't be!

could it be your eyes? those watercoloured eyes that reminded him of so many things he's seen back home on the surface? whether it be the waters of the ocean, the soils of the earth, or the green of the trees? the grey of those clouds?

No. it must be your hair! maybe your personality?

GAH! why was he thinking so hard about this!? why must an expendable like you be such a puzzle in his mind to solve!?

he refuses such a thing to happen, falling in love with you, yet he has so already.

'I would rather run.' he would think to himself as he awaited in his make shift shop, his fins twitching here and there. he can be rather patient for a seemingly impatient man...

his mind kept going up to you, your smile haunts him. he scowled at himself for thinking of you. 'I would rather fly if I could.' he thought.

damn you, why must you be adorable and make him laugh!? 'If I let them come into my heart I-...' his train of thoughts trail off to a dead end. what exactly was he gonna do if he did succumb to this thing called love? with you?

....it's gonna be a slow day at the shop today, not that surprising, but annoying to Sebastian either way and he had absolutely nothing to do but wait and stare into whatever he bores his eyes into.

hm, perhaps taking a nap won't hurt besides he's been tired as of late. so he coiled himself over and rested his head underneath his tail and just simply turned off the lure's light.

he succumbs to sleep

.

.

.

his nightmare was but mere flashed visions, memorialized pictures he sees.

there you were, your body mangled and a mess.

Sebastian was used to this, he has seen multiple dead bodies; parts of them bitten off, some with their head popped and their brain just splattered the walls, and a few missing their insides here and there.

but you? you were beyond unrecognizable.

where was your face? where is your left arm? who or which took bits of your skin off because he for sure knows none of the creatures can do that, not even wall dwellers-

so why

why were you like this?

what happened, did he do this? did urbanshade do this?

and dear god please tell him why he can feel his eyes stinging. someone tell him why his chest is aching and why he wants to scream.

please, someone please tell him.

G̵̨̢̦̬͉̥̤͕͎̐͗͆̍́̿̀̈́̽͌̿̒͛͝Ò̵̞̦̟̼̜D̷̛̦͈̗͎̭̗͔̣͈̣̻̣̻͙̈́̇̂͛͂̎̓͑́̈́̈́̌̌͜͠͝ ̶̧̡̝̻̺̬̦̲̣̦̘̬̪̃̈͘͜͝͝ͅͅP̵̬͕̬̥͖̳͖̼̰͔̖̥̉ͅL̵̺̭͓͍̤͉͛́̔̏E̸̢̧̪̻̟͙͍̣͗̈́̐̈́̑̋̄̽̒̿͛̂͌̾̌̚A̵̧͙͖̻̲̳͔̱̐̔̈̓̊͛͘S̶̢̬̤̱̹͚̼̼̯̘͖͍̞̩͇̮̈́͂̐̈́̀̓̈͝Ę̶̨̩̣͔̘͔̼̹͖̫̝̦̯̥͗͂̉̃̈́͆̆̽̊̈̌͑̎͠ ̷̨̯͔̩̯̤̫̩̮̤̲̘̗̳̱͉͇͗̂͆̕S̴̢̗̥̙̲̭͒̀̀̓͛́̓̏͂͋͝ͅÓ̵̧̢̬͔̪̬͙̖̬̳̘͛̋̋͘͘͝M̷̢̢͕̱̜̳̝̟͓͉̆͌͘Ē̴̛̲̗̭̝̩̖̪̞̲̦̣̦̤̯̳̋͊͆̈́͐̍̾͒̐̌̕͝͝O̸̹̜͈͇̅͆̉͂̊Ṇ̶̠̪̭̻̣͈̇̌̐̉̄̓̈́͑͐͊̕͠Ȩ̷̧̛̯̥̟̯̫͇̙̪̟̯̀̈̈́̆͌̅̑͒͘̚͜͜͠͝͝͠ͅ ̷̧̬͕͙̞͐̈́̄͘H̵̢̛̰͇̱̤̿͛͐͛̍̆̂̔̎̚͝E̷̯̟͎̬̠͕͔̐͋̐̏̈́̀̒̓͗̾̏̎̿ͅL̴̖͎͙̣̣͆͌̿̾͗P̵̺̰̞͎̭̗̖̩̰̭̃ ̷̨͇̯͇̦̮̺̏̆̉̌͌̍̌́͛̆Ḧ̶͔͎́̋̀̓̆̄̆̔̈́̊͒̈́͌̍̀͝͝I̵͈̮̝̙̠̗̩̳̲͋̄̍̂́̏͛͜M̸͊̐̀̀̅̂̅̈̀̿̆̄̄̒͜͠͝͠-̷̧̨̨̨̧͔̲̠͙̻̗̤̬͉̩̀͒̃

--Sebastian awoke in a cold sweat, he gasped and his eyes snapped open wide. he scrambled upwards just to process where he was. Once he realized he fell asleep faster than he thought.

He sighed in relief, thank the stars that wasn't real. otherwise....-

....oh he's deeper in love than he thought.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

[servicpop]

Callahan who's rough with reader cause that's how he'd always been never thinking something was wrong with it, till one time he'd be a bit too rough to the point where's it made you cry and he just thought it was from pleasure telling you to toughen up, but as soon as he realizes that you're crying because you don't like his rough handling and degrading and it hurts he immediately stops and helps you calm down, wiping your tears as guilt builds up in his chest and he just holds you close comforting you, he'll try to go easy next time although it's new to him he doesn't actually want you to be in pain

GAH SOFT CALLAHAN, SOFT CALLAHAN, SOFT CALLAHAN, SOFT CALLAHAN, SOFT CALLAHAN, SOFT CALLAHAN, SOFT CALLAHAN, SOFT CALLAHAN

I'm going crazy idk something abt soft sensitive reader who needs comfort is always my go to (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) idc if people find it cringe or "pick me" or even if they say he's a crybaby I will forever love soft sensitive male reader

Callahan would definitely start mumbling small apologies , looking at you with hardened eyes filled with guilt in them ! He doesn't want to admit it but seeing your cute little face turn all red and stained with tears makes his heart clench for you , he knows he's being too rough so it hurts him to see you actually in pain . . .

Callahan may be bad at controlling his strength when it comes to you , but he's sure as hell disciplined well enough to stop if you start sobbing out of pain !

Expect him to invite you to watch cartoons on the couch later , giving you sweets while he drinks his black coffee. Maybe he'll steal some from you , scold you for eating so much sweets but seeing your round , teary eyes he'll apologise and just wrap his arm around your shoulders , refusing to give into those puppy eyes.

[binniesbooks]

hi fayebae, imma send these before i go for my hiatus again(im not sure if you alr have smth planned for tyun n hyuka! cos i know u have a yj fic thats coming soon, so ill send these in for them)

was thinking of tyun x reader for this

uk the series “academy reincarnation”!! There was a salsa dance ep! I was thinking that reader decided to sign up to the salsa academy where tyun is one of the instructors?/student! reader wanted to learn salsa for the longest time but has always been afraid to as one would usually need to dance in pairs. afraid of having any physical contact with any stranger(due to a trauma she formed from a relationship), even tho it was difficult, reader eventually let down her walls with tyun as the many practice sessions go by, she finds herself now looking forward to salsa practices as thats the only time she can see tyun! And she craves his touch. During one of the practices, they got so lost in the dance that their faces ended up really close to each other! Tension arises(she wants him, he wants her, dare i say more 🤭smut of course!) [didnt wanna write too much to allow ur creative freedom!!]

i hope this is good gah(just thought i should send smth in for the other members too hehe, pls dont put aside ur wip again!! Do this after ure done w ur yj one gah) love u my soobie fav boobie💗

TENDER TOUCH

TH 002 .F22 2024

wc 5.3k

pairings gentle!Taehyun x abused!reader

warnings physical and sexual abuse, traumatic experience, traumatized reader, protected sex, abusive ex-boyfriend (idk what else did I miss)

faye's note *insert: Taehyun's 어디 있지 (where am I) in boba😳* as promised, here's my second fic for the day! this is my first Taehyun fic and I'm fucking obsessed that it got up to 5.3k words, wth. Anyways, @inkigayocamman I know you requested a Tae fic, but here's another one for u to enjoy I guess while I'm still working on it. 🙂‍↕️ I hope you like this too! And ofc, to my one and only Beomgyu's kitten, I love your brain, it's so sexy omfg. I'm totally sat. Plus yeah, the yj fic is still on the line. 🤣 Anyway, I did a few research(again) for this fic, so I hope it turned out good, fingers crossed!

Edit: Thanks for proofreading the whole ass fic @babymochibeargyu I'm dead now. 😭😂 luv uuuu 😖💓

"Learn how to dance Salsa, we offer multiple dance forms for beginners to professionals. Come join us..." You mumbled reading the flyer your friend handed you.

"Jia, you know I can't do anything like this anymore." You sighed as you handed her back the flyer.

"I know, I know, it's because of your trauma, right? But maybe this is the way that can only help you overcome that trauma," She started, "I'm worried about you taking this class but I'm more worried about you carrying that trauma all throughout your life." Jia gently holds your hand, still careful not to scare you with the skin contact.

You're lost in your thought for a while thinking if you can really let go of your trauma after all this time. It's been so long since you haven't engaged in any relationship after your last one.

"I-I'll think about it." You sighed, you really wanted to be free but you just didn't know how to start. "Please do, I really wanted to help you." Jia's eyes are full of worry, sadness and guilt. Because it's been so long yet she can't do anything to help.

You've always been wanting to learn how to dance Salsa. It's like your little dream ever since, however, your boyfriend from your last relationship did not even want you to be touched nor be grazed by any man's skin. You insisted you could just pair with a girl but he threatened you to hurt anyone who will be around you if you kept on insisting to register for the dance class. You ended up not registering for the class and burying your little dance dream into the depths of your heart.

The following week, you found yourself standing in front of the dance academy building. Breathing slowly, thinking deeply whether you really want to do it or not. You were clutching on the flyer tightly. Your knees fell weak as you stumbled down, retreating all the way to the confinement of your apartment to hide from the world.

It took so much courage for you to do this. Especially when you ended up trying once again a week later. You're standing in the front of the building, staring at the swaying banner of the academy with a "SALSA DANCE ACADEMY" written on it.

You softly knocked on the door before opening it. "Hi! Come in! How may I help you?" You were greeted with s young lady, clad in a salsa dance costume. She looks bright and bubbly.

"I.. Uhm.. wanted to register for the class." You meekly answered as you slid down on the chair. "May I know your name?" The lady picked up the pen on the table and grabbed a file.

"Y/n...y/n s/n." You silently answered.

"What class would you like to be included in?" The lady's smile never faltered. Her bright aura makes you feel comfortable for a bit. "What do you offer?" You asked back.

"Well, we have group sessions and we also have one-on-one lessons," you nodded at her, signaling her to keep going. "In group sessions, there will be 15 pairs -- 30 individuals in a class, plus the 2 dance instructors," you felt pressured with just the thought of being included in the group. "In the one-on-one class, we will find you a pair if you still have none, or you can bring one, and then also a pair of instructors," she explained.

"I'll take the latter."

"Please sign here and we'll wait for another one to sign up." She smiled again at you. You were thinking of bringing your friend to the class.

"By any chance, can I bring a girl for the one-on-one class?" Her expression suddenly turned sad, "I'm afraid we are only taking a man and a woman as a pair for the one-on-one class. Usually, the pairs who sign up for the one-on-one class end up acquiring advanced skills than those who are in the group."

You thought of backing out once again but you shook your head to clear your mind. You're already here, you're already a step closer to the most awaited time of your life: to let go of your trauma.

"We'll call you once we receive another sign-up for a one-on-one class. Thank you for dropping by." The lady waved her hand as you stepped outside.

You shrunk to the corner of the door, people are looking at you but you're too occupied to even give a damn.

It's been a week. You didn't know how to explain how you felt. Half of you felt happy that you hadn't received a call yet, because that would only means you didn't have to do it anymore and there wouldn't be anymore skin contact for you to trigger your trauma. However, the other half of you felt disappointed. You would have been lying if you said that you didn't get your hopes up, thinking that this would be the way to be finally free from your trauma.

"Still haven't received a call?" Your friend placed the pizza she brought on your coffee table. Today was the day she would usually pay you a visit to your apartment. She started doing this from 2 years ago, when you and your ex-boyfriend finally broke up.

You hummed in response as you dug out the box of pizza. Nevertheless, you don't want to bring your thoughts about the dance academy again.

A couple of minutes passed when your phone rang, causing both your heads to look towards your phone

"Hello?"

"Hi! Can I talk to Ms. Y/n s/n?" The voice over the line spoke brightly.

"Y/n speaking." You just answered back, looking at your friend who's anticipating a piece of good news.

"We just want to inform you that someone already signed up for the one-on-one class as your pair. The class will start this Monday, are you fine with it?" Your friend sighed in relief as soon as she heard it.

"O-okay. Sure." You felt a rush of anxiety travel throughout your body, as your fingers trembled hanging up the call.

"Hey, it's okay." Your friend wrapped the thick blanket around your shoulders before hugging you. Afraid that she might trigger your trauma. "You'll be fine." She tries to calm you down by rubbing your back.

2 days passed by quickly. Enough to make you coil up in bed instead of getting up. Your phone vibrates from an incoming message.

Dearest Jia: Take care later, okay? I know you can do it. I won't be able to go because of work, so I hope you understand:< but I'll pick you up when you're done! <3

You: I don't feel like going.

Dearest Jia: Noooo! You've come this far. You should go, I know you can do this!

You: Fine, I'll text you when I'm done with the class.

You tossed your phone on the bed as you grunt into your pillow. You're just glad your dance class starts at 3 in the afternoon. You still had a lot of time to prepare your body and mind.

Quarter to 3, you're already in front of the building, a few people going in at the same time. Probably for the group session. You wanted to go home but the lady called you out.

"Y/n! Please come in. I'll accompany you to the assigned room. I'm Daeun, btw." She extended her hand to you but you froze. You're too afraid. But someone else caught Daeun's hand. "I'm Taehyun, the one who signed up for the pair." A tall guy appeared on your side, shaking her hand. "I-i'm y/n." You meekly introduced yourself without touching any of them. The lady looked confused at first but she shrugged it off.

"Okay, I'll leave you two here, Mr. and Mrs. Hwang are inside already."

Taehyun pushed the door open, you were both greeted with a polished wooden floor and mirror walls in the wide room. Two people were sitting in the corner. They must be your instructors.

"Please come in!" The lady waved at the both of you.

"Do you know each other?" The man asked which the both of you only answered by shaking your head.

"I think we should start our class with an introduction. Don't you think?" The lady nodded.

"I'm Mr. Hwang and this is Mrs. Hwang. She's my wife and we mainly teach one-on-one classes. You are?" They turn their gaze to Taehyun.

"My name is Kang Taehyun. I also dance but not in this genre. So I wanted to learn this." They then looked at you.

"I... I am y/n. I signed up for the class t-to overcome my t-rauma." Your words are slurred, and your reason made your instructors gasp. "I-I used to be in a r-relationship. And t-they're the reason why I can't e-even touch people or let other p- people t-touch me." You bit your lip as you look up at them.

"Honey, but I'm afraid this dance requires a lot of holding and touching, what should we do?" Mrs. Hwang clasped both of her hands on her mouth as she turned a bit emotional.

"By any chance, can you hold someone when there's a barrier between them? Like, there is no direct skin-to-skin contact?" Taehyun spoke up, you nodded lightly at him. "It's been two years so I think I can tolerate it to an extent."

"Then I think we're good Mrs. Hwang. I'm thinking of using a glove or something. If that's what makes her comfortable. I don't mind at all." Taehyun remarked.

Taehyun ended up wearing gloves for your dance class. And as much as possible, he's avoiding any of your exposed body parts. He's also lightly touching you that you feel as though it's just air grazing your body.

So far so good, the 3-hour class ended up okay. Jia picked you up 30 minutes later after you texted her that you were done.

Your dance class went well the next day. And the day after that. And the following days after that. Days became weeks, weeks became months. It's all going well, with Taehyun's careful assistance over you.

Today was the day you decided to step further to your goal.

"Taehyun, I think we can now stop using the gloves. We've been dancing for a month now and I hate it whenever I think about the gloves. It feels like I'm being disgusted by you or something." You stated to Taehyun once the two of you were on a quick break. Within one month, you grew closer to Taehyun. The quick breaks were your time to tell stories to each other.

"Are you sure? You're not making me feel like any of that, by the way. But are you sure you can do it now?" His eyes seek yours. You simply nodded as you removed your jacket leaving you with your t-shirt on.

"Are you two, okay? Shall we continue?" Your dance instructor asked, checking on you, as you and Taehyun stood up. Taehyun discarded the gloves he was using on top of his bag as he folded his long-sleeved t-shirt up to his elbow.

You started off well. Taehyun holding your hand as gently as he could as usual. Letting you turn around with some quick footwork. It was all good actually, until he needed to lean in, holding your waist and your thigh. One more turn, his arms and fingers graze through your arms. His delicate fingers holding your waist once again. A quick turnaround. A step faster. A more closer proximity.

"You fucker! Come back here! I know what you did!"

"S-stop! We're already over Han!" You squealed as you blocked the door with your body.

"You're fucking dead meat when this door opens!"

Your tears wouldn't stop flowing from your cheeks as you kept your body pressed on the banging door. Han has been your boyfriend for 9 months now. At first, he was so good to you, treating you like the princess you deserved to be. But it was too good to be true that you started to feel it was wrong. Just 2 months ago he started hurting you physically and abusing you sexually. He was too obsessed with you too that he sometimes he would start locking you up in your apartment. Even your requests got declined. At first, you let it pass as you thought it was normal. But you started earning bruises and wounds. You barely ate, barely drank, you even barely slept. You would often get fevers too. The slightest noise would make your soul jump out and the slightest movement would make you flinch.

Jia, your friend, was the one who advised you to report him. So you did, that was why he was here banging at your door.

Han's voice can no longer be heard, hence you decided to quickly hide in your closet, as you dug out your spare phone you had hidden to contact your friend.

You quickly called Jia, telling her to call the police or something but you were cut off when the door bursts open. Han was holding a gun and laughing hysterically.

"Fuck you, you bitch! You're really dead!" You quickly covered your mouth.

"Come out, kitten. Come out from wherever the fuck you're hiding!" His voice echoed through the room drowning your quiet sobs.

That's when he forcefully opened the closet you're hiding. "Ohhh, you look so scared kitten, why?" He cooed at you as his lips stretched to form a mocking grin. "Move to the bed!" You shook your head. "Fucking move to the bed!" He fired a warning shot at the mirror, crashing it. You yelped at the noise. With your trembling body, you quickly scrambled your way to the bed covering your bruised-up body.

"Strip." He commanded as he pointed the gun at you. With no choice left, and your life at stake, you did what he ordered.

He crashed his lips on yours harshly. When he noticed you didn't kiss him back, he slapped you. Blood flowed through your lips as you choked on your sobs. With the gun still pointed at your head, he started harassing you again. His hand left a bruised mark on your neck as he tightly squeezes it. You could almost see the white light as your weak body just let him do anything. There was no use thrashing around as if you had accepted your dying fate.

"Freeze!" Was the only thing you heard before everything around you went black.

You opened your eyes inside the hospital, pulled every apparatus attached to your body and started screaming. It made Jia scream out and call for a doctor. They couldn't calm you down so they needed to give you a shot for temporary sleep.

Everything came swirling back to you. Pushing Taehyun away, causing your body to crash on the wooden floor. "Shit!" Taehyun cursed under his breath as he hurriedly pushed back his sleeves and wore the gloves again, picking up your jacket at the same time, before coming back to you. Your instructors let out a shock gasp as they also rushed over to you.

"Please grab a blanket or any thick clothing!" Taehyun shouts as he tries to ease you by covering your shoulder with your jacket.

Mr. Hwang passed Taehyun his padded jacket he always brought with him. Taehyun carefully wrapped the thick jacket around your body. He holds your face as he tries to soothe you.

"Y/n, look at me, please look at me." Sweat started to form on his forehead as tears freely flowed down your cheeks. "Please, look at me, and breathe slowly. Breathe slowly. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale." Taehyun guided your breathing as his glove-cladded hands rubbed your cheeks.

Mrs. Hwang was panicking but Mr. Hwang tried to calm her down before he went out to grab a glass of water.

Your heartbeat slowed down for at least a bit. Taehyun guiding you helped somehow as you slowly calmed down. Taehyun got the water from Mr. Hwang and held it in front of you as he let you sip on the water slowly.

"Are you feeling okay now?" Taehyun tucked your sweaty hair behind your ears. His eyes were full of worry. "Do you wanna go home and rest?" He's still carefully rubbing your shoulder. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have removed the gloves. That was too risky." Taehyun mumbled as he hesitated to hold your hand.

That same afternoon, he called your friend over. He introduced himself and explained the situation. He let your friend take you home as he bid you two goodbye. You're lucky it was Friday at that time so you don't have to worry about waking up the next morning to go to your dance class. For the next two days, you spent it caving in your room. It helped you calm down.

Monday. You opened the door. You laughed at the scene in front of your eyes.

"What's that?" You chuckled as you placed your bag on the corner. Taehyun looks at himself in the mirror. He's totally covered. He's wearing a thicker glove and a padded jacket. His usual dress pants are now sweats. He's even wearing a mask. He scratched the back of his head.

"Pft. That's too much. Don't worry I'm fine now. Thank you by the way." You smiled at him.

"Are you sure? Because that scared me. I don't know what to do." He removed his jacket along with the face mask and the thick gloves.

"Mhm, I'm sure." You assured him.

"Okay then. We'll try again. Slowly this time." His eyes are full of concern as he looks at you. You smiled at him as you accepted his hand.

For another month, Taehyun tried to connect with you. Stopping whenever needed. Wearing the things he needs to wear whenever he can sense your anxiety rising. For once, you realize how he gently holds you. How he's always careful with you, treating you like a fragile glass that would easily break if you weren't handled correctly. One month passed without much problem. If anything, you're actually growing accustomed to it.

For some reason, you learned to feel comfortable with Taehyun's touch. The graze of his skin, his fingers, and his touch never terrified you anymore, and his existence no longer made you panic.

Now, he's solely the reason why you're still attending your dance class. You're slowly putting your trust in him. You're slowly putting your walls down. He can now hold your hand without fear. He can now dance without thinking that you would startled. He slowly introduced you to the steps that requires your body to be closer. Teaching you how the steps are supposed to be done. You're no longer panicking. Even when your face is just only few inches from him, you were actually smiling at each other. You no longer feared his touch. If anything, he's only leaving you all tingly with his warm skin.

You could feel the warmth radiating off his body. Whenever you leaned on his chest, it made your heart flutter. His breath on your shoulder, your neck, any part of your body makes the knot in your stomach twist tighter.

You're slowly craving for his touch. For how he cares for you, for how he tends to you. Whenever you're home, he keeps popping into your head. How his sharky smile appears whenever he's happy. The small noises he made. His cat-like attitude. He's the perfect example of hot, sexy and cute.

Every last week of the month, you would have all the time to yourselves to gather all your skills acquired. Because every once a month, you had to show what you have learnt in class. This now left the two of you alone in the dance studio. Perfecting every step and move you needed to show on evaluation day.

Taehyun's lingering touches left you all tingly. His deep voice sent a shiver down your spine. His breath alone makes your mind go in a twist.

"One step back, two steps to the front... One turn and... Lean you down." He's matching his words on every beat of the step. You thought it only happens in a fantasy world. But it was like the world stopped when his eyes were fixed on yours. His steady breath makes you hold yours. His eyes traveled down to your lips as he gulped. He mumbles a soft "You're pretty," before pulling you back to stand on both your feet.

His hands are both on your face as he slowly backs you to the mirror. His breath is unsteady and warm. The moment he got you pressed on the mirror, he leaned his forehead on yours as he closed his eyes.

"You're really pretty. So pretty I'm afraid I can't control myself." He whispered. Your hands were on his chest, you felt how his heart was thumping so hard.

"S-should we head out early?" You whispered, your hot puffs of breath touching his lips got him reeling as he cursed under his breath.

He quickly pulls away, holds your hand and grabs both of your bags. Both heading outside to his car. "Tell your friend I'm taking you home instead." The air in the car throughout the drive was so thick. His hands were gripping on the wheels, tapping impatiently when the road slowed down.

"Calm down, Tae, I'm not going anywhere." You chuckled as you placed your hand above his when it was resting on the gear shift. He throws a quick glance at you. He bit his lip as a flush crept up on his cheeks.

The drive was short, but Taehyun's action made it look like it was not. He hurriedly got out of his car, running over to your side to open the door for you as he held your hand. His jittery steps were heavy as you both made your way to his humble home.

"Come in." He nervously spoke as he placed his shoe on the rack, switching the light on in the process.

"D-do you want a drink or something?" He was almost running towards the kitchen.

You flop on his couch, making yourself comfortable at some point. "Come here, instead," you chuckled, "You're so anxious for no reason, Taehyun." He sat down beside you, wiping his sweaty palms on his dress pants as he sighed. You scoot over, holding his face, lips just a few inches apart.

"Wait," he pushed you a bit, "a-are you sure about this?" You nodded and smiled at him. "G-give me a minute." He rummaged through his back pocket pulling a handkerchief. You looked at him confused.

He unfolded the handkerchief and gently placed the thin fabric on your lips before crashing his lips on yours. He holds your nape as he climbs up on the couch. He slowly laid you down. Lips unmoving, yet it feels so hot. His lips were just merely pressed on yours with the fabric separating both of your soft skin.

He pulled away, kissing your forehead. "I'm sorry." He whispered as if he was the one who did you wrong. You gently pull the handkerchief away as you tangle your fingers in his hair. Taehyun never failed to take care of you in the most gentle way possible. He's not thinking of his pleasure at this point. He's thinking about you. To the point that he even thought of putting a piece of cloth between your lips just to be able to kiss you.

You wanted to cry at how he's taking care of you. Your eyes welled up with tears as you pulled him back. "I'm good now Tae, thank you for taking care of me. There's no need for the hanky." You whispered before your tears rolled down your cheeks as you kissed him, bare.

He's a gentleman. He's too good to be true. But you let your walls fall down and let him enter. You let him protect you instead. But his hungry kiss spoke thousands of emotions. His kisses travel down to your neck.

"Taehyun..." You whimpered as you gripped his hair.

"A bit more... Just a bit more..." He started sucking and biting your neck and shoulder, leaving splotchy red marks. He pulls away for a while, enough time to tug your shirt off your body.

His fingers slowly traced every scar you have on your body. The marks on your chest from the bottle Han once threw at you. The cigarette burns on your stomach. He also pulled down your skirts only to see stitches from your thighs. You got this when Han pushed you down the stairs. His finger draws back to your lips. The scar from the cut when he slapped you is still visible.

You covered your face out of embarrassment. You no longer look pretty with your all bruised-up body. "We can't do this here." Taehyun got up and carried you all the way to his bedroom. He laid you carefully as ever in his bedroom.

The bed dips down at his weight as he kneels between your legs. His head dips down to kiss every scar you have on your delicate body as if he's kissing your trauma away. He took his precious time. Not wanting to scare or startle you at any point. His actions are being done with all tenderness.

"Do you still want me to continue?" He asks when he hovers above your body, his elbows on both sides of your head. "I want you Taehyun, please do..." You whined biting your lip. "How can I say no when you say it like that, sweetheart." He sighed leaning his forehead on yours again. Your arms crawled under his shirt, feeling his toned body hiding beneath the soft cotton shirt he was wearing. "C-can you take it off? I feel so exposed." You mumbled as you tugged his shirt. "Ah, shit, I'm sorry." He quickly backed up to discard his shirt on the floor.

You stared at him when he was all fours above you. His body is totally toned. You can clearly see the firm muscles on his arms. His buff chest and his perfectly defined abs. "Touch me. I won't stop you. Touch me so you won't feel embarrassed anymore. Touch me so you won't feel as if I'm taking advantage of you. Touch me so you won't feel scared." He grabbed one of your hands and placed it on his chest, slowly dragging it down to his abs.

When he lets go of your hands, you continue to drag them down to the waistband of his dress pants. "C-continue..." His eyes were shut close, his lips trapped between his teeth. You can clearly see his abs tightening as he clenches with the graze of your finger on his waist. He gulps when you hook your finger inside. You unhooked the clip that's binding his pants and pulled the zipper down. His breathing hitched at the lingering touches you're leaving on his lower body.

You gently stroked him as you looked for his eyes. His lips were swollen at how he was biting it. "You won't let it out?" You tried taunting him. "Fuck..." He lets go of his long-held breath, hissing through his teeth. "Y-you're making me crazy, sweetheart... You're totally making me crazy..." He huffed as he tucked your hair behind your ear.

"Condom?" You asked. He reached into the small drawer just beside your head, pulling out a packet of condoms. "D'you wanna p-put it in f'me?" His words were short, and he was catching his breath. You gently rubbed the head of his cock as you rip the packet with your teeth.

"S-sweetheart, you're... Shit... You're k-killing me." He shuddered when you pressed at his slit, his jaw clenched tightly, his hand grasping the sheets.

You slowly drag your fingers on his cock as you wrapped it with the condom. "T-take your time... I w-won't do anything to hurt you or...ahh... or m-make you s-scared of me." He's struggling to hold back but he's doing his best. As soon as you were done, you tangled your fingers on his again, pulling him for a kiss. A kiss full of care. Gentle. Delicate. Sweet.

He pulls away, caressing your face once more. He pulls your underwear in one swift motion as he lines himself up on you, slowly pushing in. He continuously soothes you by rubbing his thumb on your cheek. "Don't be scared, hm? I'm here. It's just me..." He keeps on mumbling, repeating the same phrase as you nod back at him.

Once he has bottomed out inside you, he stays still as he continues to plant soft kisses on your face. You were tearing up not because of the trauma anymore, but because of the love and care he's showing you.

He unhooked your bra as he gently groped your breast, his fingers flicked on your nipple as he suck on the other. "Mmm..." You whimpered underneath his big body squirming at how his tongue danced on your nipple. He didn't take long, afraid that he might hurt or trigger your trauma.

"C-can I move now? I might end up c-cumming now. You've been clenching f-for some time..." He muttered under his breath. You nodded and covered your face again.

He pulled both of your hands and intertwined your fingers with him above your head. "Please don't cover your face. You're beautiful. You're still pretty even with your scars. You're still gorgeous even with your fear and trauma. Please... Just let me take care of you. I know it'll be hard for you, but I promise. I promise to hold you dearly and cherish you." His eyes were looking for answers.

"Taehyun... Please... Please take care of me from now on. Please hold me when I feel scared... Make me feel loved..." Your silent weeps were drowned as he kissed your nose. "I'll be your peace, sweetheart." He wiped your tears as he slowly thrusts in you.

"I... I promise to hold you as gently as I can... But... I think I might end up g-going hard right n-now." He buried his face in the crook of your neck.

Your arms reached over his back as your nails dug and dragged over his bare back. "T-Taehyun..." You moaned out his name as you writhed in pleasure beneath him. The slow thrust becomes a little bit more sloppy. The skin slapping echoed through the solitude of his room.

"Fuck. Please forgive me if e-end up going t-too hard. But I promise to d-do my best to hold b-back." He grunted as his thrust went harder. You shook your head wanting him to go harder.

"I-i can't hurt you... I w-won't..." He steadies the way he thrusts inside you making the knot on your stomach tighten as you feel your high just around the corner.

You held him as if your life depended on him, "Taehyun... I'm close." "D-do it, sweetheart. I'm g-gonna cum any m-minute." He pressed his lips on you to drown your moans as you both came. He rubbed your waist as he soothed you before pulling out. Tying the condom and disposing it in the bin, zipping up his pants at the same time.

He bends down to kiss your forehead as he grabs a pack of wet wipes cleaning you up. He picked up his shirt and made you wear it. He finally laid beside you as he pulled you on his chest, running his fingers through your hair.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" He checks on you, to which you replied by shaking your head and a smile. "Sorry for going too hard, I did my best to hold back," he mumbled as he kissed the top of your head. "I'm okay Taehyun. Thank you so much." Your eyes finally close as his warmth embraces you. He hums while still hugging you close to him.

"Please rest now, sweetheart. When you wake up, you no longer have to suffer anymore. You're safe with me. You're finally safe with me."

@binniesbooks 2024

[mayisgoingnuts]

Lee!Lucifer X Ler!Reader Scenario

Warnings: Some swearing but that's all, only did it for comfort.

Author's note: Lucifer. Brainrot. That's everything I have to say for now 😞🙏💞

————————————————————————

"Be careful with those, they don't get pretty all by themselves, y'know?" Lucifer says with a calm smile, which quickly shifts to a more "cocky" smirk. "Well, maybe they do."

You chuckle at his stupid comment, slowly returning your eyes to your main goal: his wings. A pair of wings was already amazing for you, but now three? No way you would lose the chance to check on them. See them, admire them, touch them...

You slowly caress one of them, taking a good look and with your eyes almost shining in amusement. "They're so soft..."

"Right?"

But as you keep stroking his wings and exploring each inch, you can hear a light snicker coming from him. He cover his mouth and looks away, not wanting to interrupt you.

"Huh? What happened?"

"N-Nothing, nothing. Just be extra careful there, alright?" Lucifer answers, looking at what people normally call a 'wingpit'.

"Ah... does it hurt? Sorry if I-"

"No no you didn't hurt me, it's just... ehhh... y'know..." He tries his best to explain without actually turning it even more embarassing, making a few hand movements aswell. "...sensitive?"

It took you a few seconds to understand, but once you did, your confused expression changed almost instantely.

"Oh, alright. I'll be gentle." But as you spoke, your fingers traced around that same spot once again. "See?"

Lucifer jumped a little on his bed.

"Okay, now this one was on purpose!"

"No idea what you're talking about."

The rythm of your fingers did not changed, basically dancing on Lucifer's wings. Everything he was able to do was cover his eyes with a single hand, using the other to grab the sheets tightly.

"Goddahahammit!"

"Wow, your feathers are so nice to touch... I could stay here all day." You say, wearing the happiest smirk you could have right now.

His superior wing flapped lightly as you kept tickling it, only making it worse for Lucifer himself as you now barely needed to move your hand.

"You better not hit me with those."

"It's really hahard not tohoho!"

"...was that a complain or a threat?"

"Bohoth- AH!"

You knew he wouldn't help himself, this man just loved giving you motives to keep going. As a consequence of his "rebel" answer, you let go of his wings, going straight to his ribs.

"H-HEHEHEY!"

"I just felt offended! I'm complimenting you, and you're threatening me to attack me with your wings? Tsk, tsk... not nice."

"COME OHOHON!"

Due his constant squirming, you decided to put a little pressure, pushing him down to the bed to make it easier for the both of you. His wings were so fun to watch too, it was almost like he was about to open flight.

"Just don't fly outta here." You joked.

His giggles and laughter were a mix now, creating this goofy yet adorable (in your opinion atleast) laugh of his. Lucifer kicked strongly in the air, trying to avoid using that huge strength of his on you and end up pushing you away; or worse, throw you away.

The demon's ribs began to have a bit more of mercy as you moved your fingers off of them, but only so you could reach his armpits. They moved very very slowly, tickling all the way 'til there.

"W-Wait! Wait! I- I knohohow what you're doing, dohohon't you dare!"

"Nothing is stopping me to do so..."

"Because I cahahan't! Hehehehe!"

You couldn't help but chuckle at his poor attempt to make it look like he's not letting you do that. "Will it make you happier if I pretend that I believe you?"

"Yehehes! Wait, nohoho!" Your teases were making him way too nervous to think coherently, much less speak. "Fuhuhuck, I don't knohohow!"

"If you say so." Just a few more inches before it hits a death spot... "I won't stop, because I'm evil and I love seeing you "suffer" with your oh, so "hated" tickles!"

"G-Gah- No- Nahahah-"

"And you know what would make me even more evil?"

"I don't wanna know! I dohon't wanna know!!"

It felt just like a button. You pressed his armpits, and Lucifer let out a cackle as soon as you did so.

He tried to roll from one side to another, and as he tried to protect his own weak points, it just made your thumbs get stuck there. All you needed to do was wiggle them, tickling them whenever you feel like it.

"SHIHIHIT! SHIT! SHIHIHIT! I CAN'T TAHAHAKE IT!"

"Just raise your arms, like that I can get my hands back!"

"THEN STOHOP MOVING YOUR FIHIHIHINGERS!"

You went silent, looking away with a bratty smile. "Now you're asking for too much."

"OH HOW I HAHATE YOHOHOU!"

It would be just a matter of time until you stopped and finally let him rest, but for that, Lucifer needed to grow tired of the tickles first.

No, you didn't need to "free him".

After all, getting rid of you was a task that he could've done as soon as you touched him.

He just decided not to.

[princessdimondheart]

That Time of the Month | TF-141 x Reader

Pairing: TF-141 + f! Reader

Summary: Reader is on her period.

WC: 447

Warnings: Mentions of periods/blood, cramps, etc., these boys are a lil dumb lol, 🥺

Edited: No

A/N: It’s that time of the month so I wrote this little fic. It’s so short! 😭 Sorry for not posting… procrastination and a new puppy does that to you… ((should I post a pic of her?)) I’m also getting another puppy soon so yeeeaaahhhh….. 😅 New banner… what do you think? I’m not sure if I like it that much… 🤷‍♀️

Masterlist

Character banner ©️ Me

She made it a few steps off the ramp of the plane before she doubled over in pain. Catching herself on Ghost’s sleeve before she fell to the ground. A major cramp twisting her insides. Sweat from a long mission and hot flashes sticking her clothes to her body in an uncomfortable way, yet she was used to the sensation. 

“Gah!” She gritted her teeth. 

The men whipped their heads to look at her with concern. Ghost’s hand grabbed her elbow, stabilizing her. 

“Lass, are ya alright?” Johnny frowned when she didn’t respond. 

“Oi! You should have mentioned being hurt!” Came Price’s gruff voice. He walked closer to her with his arm stretched out to hold onto her shoulder. 

They all started to crowd her. Poking and prodding. Even Ghost was unlatching her gear to remove it and find where she was hurting. She swatted their intrusive hands away. 

“Where’s the blood?” Gaz asked, ducking a little to look at her stomach area where she had clutched in pain earlier. 

She chuckled before full on belly laughing. The sudden cramp fading away. The boys glared at her for taking her injuries lightly. 

“Oh, Gaz…” She patted the soft skin of his cheek. 

He looked at her confused, his bottom lip puffing out in a little pout. 

She gave them all a once over. Looking at their expectant faces before grinning softly. 

“Between my legs.” She said before walking off and leaving them to stew in her words in shock. 

….

“So, yous went through all tha’ on the mission while on your period!?” Johnny practically yelled. 

They had all changed and were in the rec room. 

“Yes, and dealt with the cramps too. I forgot to take a pain relief pill. Felt like I was gonna keel over for a minute. Haha.” She scratched the back of her head awkwardly. It’s not often she talked about her period with her coworkers, much less her male teammates. “I hate it when missions line up with that time of the month… but, there’s nothing I can do about it.” 

They stared at her. 

“What?” She looked between them. “I’ve had my period since I was eleven… Those weren’t even the worst cramps I’ve had. One time it was so bad that I threw up and passed out.”

“And all because I didn’t get pregnant. Shit.” She couldn’t hold back a grin, stifling her laugh. 

If their eyes could bulge further out of their eye sockets, then they’d be flying. 

Bonus: 

“Is there any way to help you with your cramps?” 

She thought about it for a moment and then hesitantly stuck her hand out to him. 

“Give me your hand.”

Masterlist

[amorest-viesse]

[Magic Connecting Our Hearts, Here & Now] - Owen SSR Card Story Translation

Ft. Akira, Heathcliff, Chloe, Cain

Closing the Gap Little by Little - Chapter 1

[Courtyard]

Akira: Owen! I finally found you!

Owen: What do you want? Did you wake up and decide to be an annoyance today?

Akira: I was just wondering if you were free right now. There’s some stuff I want to ask you.

Akira: Since it’s been a while since our last interview, I thought I’d do another one for the Sage’s Book.

Owen: I have nothing to say to you. Never have, never will.

Akira: I- It doesn’t have to be serious. We can talk about anything you want, like the sweets you’ve been into for example…

*footsteps*

Heathcliff: Oh, Master Sage. I see Owen’s here as well.

Chloe: Are you guys going on a walk too? The weather feels soo nice today, right?

Owen: ...And two more annoyances show up.

Akira: Good afternoon Heath, Chloe. I was just in the middle of asking Owen for an interview.

Chloe: Oh right! What are you gonna talk about, Owen? I wanna know more about you too.

Heathcliff: C- Chloe. We probably shouldn’t interrupt them, so let’s get going…

Owen: You’d like to know more about me? And why is that? So you can gauge my weaknesses and use them against me?

Owen: And even if you aren’t planning to do that, I bet you’ll blab about it to everyone else, and get me killed either way.

Owen: Then what? Will you take responsibility for that?

Chloe: I—

Heathcliff: Um…

Akira: O- Owen. I’m sure Chloe didn’t mean it like that, so you don’t have to snap at him…

Owen: Aware or not, that’s what he’s asking for. Remember that the next time you want to get to know someone.

Chloe: I- I’m sorry… Still, I feel like we have gotten closer than before.

Chloe: That’s why, I won’t give up on trying to be your friend.

Owen: Excuse me…? Us? Friends?

Chloe: Yes! That’s why you talk to me and wear the clothes I give you, right?

Chloe: What do you two think?

Heathcliff: You’re asking me!? I mean… You do have a point…

Heathcliff: At first, I was scared of Owen and didn’t know what to think of him… Even now he can be pretty mean…

Heathcliff: However, I also think he’s strong, experienced, and reliable. If it’s possible to improve our relationship, I’d probably be open to it…

Akira: I feel the same… That’s why I want to talk with you more, and if there's anything you don't want to talk about, we can avoid that too.

Akira: Still, if we’re already working together, then I want to do things that make you happy and avoid the things that won’t…

Akira: Besides, I want to leave as much as I can for the next Sage once I return to my world, so they won't have to start from scratch with you.

Owen: …How utterly abhorrent. I don’t see what all the fuss is, but I’d watch what I say if I were you.

Owen: <<Cur Memini>>

Heathcliff: Ah… He’s gone.

Chloe: Did I go too far!? I’m sorry, Master Sage.

Akira: It’s alright, Chloe. It didn’t seem like he was angry…

Akira: (If this was before, Owen probably would’ve been a lot meaner)

Akira: (When I think of it that way, hasn’t he softened quite a bit…?)

Closing the Gap Little by Little - Chapter 2

[Outside the Manor]

Akira: Alright, it’s time for Owen’s interview take two. I hope I can find him…

*rustling*

Cain: ! Akira! Look out!

*running*

Akira: …Cain!?

Cain suddenly burst out of the thicket and grabbed my arm.

As he swung me behind him, a gust of wind blasted through us.

Owen: Getting careless, are we? Your defense is riddled with holes.

Owen: <<Cur Memini>>

Cain: Gah…!

Akira: W- what’s going on…!?)

Floating in the sky on his broom, Owen fired a volley of ice pellets at us. Still protecting me, Cain managed to dodge it.

Akira: C- Cut it out you two…! What if someone gets hurt because of your fighting!?

Owen: Aw, I wouldn’t call this fighting. I’d say it’s more of a collaboration with yours truly.

Owen: I’m just helping Sir Knight out, so he can take his eyeball back that much faster.

Cain: Yeah right… Aren’t you just here to mock me while I’m training?

Cain: Anyways, let’s call a truce! If we keep going, Akira’s gonna get hurt.

Owen: Fine then, I’ll just have to take them too.

Akira: Wah…!

Owen suddenly grabbed my hand and yanked me onto his broom like pulling vegetables from a garden.

Cain: Hey, whoa!

As Cain reached for me, Owen batted him away with magic.

With a faint smile on his lips, he looked down at Cain.

Owen: What’s wrong, Sir Knight? If you’re upset, why don’t you hit me with everything you’ve got?

Cain: …

Keeping his eyes steady on Owen, Cain sheathed his weapon.

Cain: A knight should never swing his sword in a moment of anger.

Cain: If I want to become worthy of my spell, I’ll make sure to beat you fair and square someday.

Cain: However, I’m done for today. Let Akira go.

Owen: …Oh?

Blinking his mismatched eyes, Owen crossed his legs with a somewhat impressed look on his face.

Owen: If you keep putting things off, it’ll be centuries before you’re ready. The reason you can’t react quickly with magic is because you only train your body.

Owen: You need to be more comfortable with using magic in battle.

Akira: (...It’s almost as if Owen’s giving him a lesson)

Akira: (That’s probably not what he’s thinking though…)

I snuck a quick glimpse at his face.

As always, his ice cold beauty looked so delicate, one would think he’d shatter with a touch…

Akira: (When I first met everyone, Owen was so frigid, especially towards Cain)

Akira: (He was the same towards Chloe and Heath too, but it seems like his relationships are changing little by little…)

Closing the Gap Little by Little - Chapter 3

[Hallway]

Akira: Alright, today’s the day…!

Akira: I’ve brought a ton of Owen’s favorite sweets with me, so surely he’ll be open for a little conversation!

Akira: Are you in there, Owen? It’s me, Akira.

*enters Owen room*

Owen: …Master Sage?

Akira: Owen! I’m so glad you’re here. Um, I brought you a gift. Do you mind if we eat these together?

Akira: I’d also love it if we could talk just for a tee~nsy weensy bit?

Owen: A gift…? Can I really have these?

Akira: (Oh boy…)

A soft voice. An innocent expression. The childish aura cast upon the grown-up features of his face. As Owen endearingly tilted his head, I sucked in my breath.

This was his other personality, the childlike one that had emerged as a result of the <<Great Calamity>>.

Akira: …Of course, feel free to help yourself. I brought them for you, after all.

Akira: The chocolates are especially sweet and delicious.

Owen: Chocolate…

Owen’s eyes quickly lit up. Taking a single piece of chocolate from my hands, he slowly and carefully ate it.

Owen: …It’s so yummy! Can I have another one?

With an angelic smile, he asked me the question in earnest.

It reminded me of the last interview I held with him.

Akira: Owen, there was something I once told your other self…

Akira: If you ever want someone to do something for you, all you have to do is smile like you’re doing now.

Akira: I think you could get anyone to listen to you, to lend you a hand.

Owen: Smile…?

Akira: Umm, like this. Chee—se..

*Owen switches back*

Owen: …? What are you doing…?

Akira: !?

Like waves receding from the shore, Owen’s smile vanished. The gentle look in his eyes had once again hardened to ice and his eyebrows furrowed with suspicion.

Akira: W- Welcome back, Owen.

Akira: I came to your room for an interview, but your other self opened the door…

Owen: Ugh… He has the worst timing.

Owen: Well? What did you talk about with not-me?

Akira: Umm…

Owen: Spit it out.

Akira: …I told him that if he ever wanted anything, all he’d have to do is smile. I’d gladly help him with whatever if so.

Owen: Heh… So you still haven’t dropped that?

Owen: I can get what I want just fine without your advice.

Owen tore the basket from my hand and flipped it upside down, dumping all the sweets across his table.

Then, with a devilishly beautiful smile, he dangled the empty basket towards me as if playing a trick.

Owen: Aw, looks like we’re all out of candy. Why don’t you go fetch me some more?

Akira: But they’re right the—

Owen: The quicker you come back, the quicker we can have our little chat.

The haughty smirk on his face wasn’t exactly the smile I had envisioned.

However, the satisfaction it radiated felt perfectly in tune with his personality.

Akira: (There’s still a lot I don’t understand about Owen…)

Akira: (But it does feel like we’re closer than before… probably?)

Akira: …Okay, fine. But you have to talk to me afterwards!

The Things I Can Only Say Now - Card Episode

[Courtyard]

Owen: Well, don’t you look busy, Master Sage.

Akira: Oh, Owen.

Owen: Are you still working on those pointless interviews?

Owen: I doubt us wizards have truly changed in the meager amount of time we’ve spent together.

Akira: Even if it doesn’t seem like you guys have changed… I still think that things are slightly different now from how they started.

Akira: When you get to know someone, you’re able to talk about things that you can’t with anyone else. With that in mind, is there anything you'd like to share with me, Owen?

Owen: Don’t think this makes us friends by any means, but… I could give you a couple tips on how to really twist a knife in the wound.

Owen: You start by observing people, seeking their deepest insecurities, and identifying the things they hate most.

Akira: I- I’m not sure how useful this will be, so I think I’ll pass…

Owen: While it’s always a solid plan to tighten the noose within conversation, it’s never a bad idea to prepare a couple of their worst fears beforehand.

Owen: For example, I hate washing. [1]

Akira: I… What?

Owen: That candy from your world.

Akira: …Oh! Did you mean wagashi?

Akira: I remember telling you about dango and youkan before. We have a lot of soft and squishy sweets. [2]

Owen: Exactly. Now that I’ve generously given you my secrets, you should try them out on me.

Owen: Strike me with the squishiest, most sickening sweets you have.

Akira: (He… just wants to eat wagashi doesn’t he?)

Akira: (What a convoluted way to go about it. Welp, I suppose that’s Owen for you.)

Home Screen Voice Line

“Making a promise is just about the most reckless thing I could possibly do. Caring about others will only make you weaker. …What would happen if I did forge those bonds someday? Hah… Don’t be ridiculous.”

Translator's Notes

[1] In the original text, Owen says he hates gashi (餓死) or starving to death. He, of course, meant wagashi or traditional Japanese sweets, but given his backstory, I thought the starvation reference was relevant.

[2] Dango are glutinous rice balls covered with a sweet glaze whereas youkan is a thick red-bean jelly cake.

[allnightstay]

Day 26 - Ticklish Kiss

Summary: Drunk Your decides to get playful with Loid 🤭

Lee: Loid

Ler: Yor

A/N: I'm tryna catch up here! Lol, it's already November and I've fallen behind 🤭

** I just started Season 2, so believe me when I say this is probably something that wouldn't even happen because Yor just gets too flustered with this kind of stuff xD But it would be cute <3

Also, Loid being one of the "serious all the time" characters makes me melt when I think of him in a ticklish situation 🫠 Enjoy!

It was a rare evening in the Forger household. With the mission behind them and Anya tucked in bed, Yor and Loid finally had some time to unwind. The two had shared a bottle of wine, and as the evening wore on, Yor’s cheeks flushed a rosy hue.

“Loid, you’re so serious all the time,” she giggled, leaning closer to him on the couch. “Don’t you ever just… let loose?”

Loid chuckled nervously. “I appreciate the sentiment, Yor, but we have to be responsible.”

“Oh come on! Just a little fun?” Yor insisted, her laughter infectious.

Caught up in her playful spirit, Loid found himself smiling more than usual. That’s when Yor’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “What if I found out one of your secrets?”

“What secret?” he asked, genuinely curious.

She leaned in closer, whispering conspiratorially, “You wanna find out?”

Loid’s brow furrowed. “What are you—”

Before he could finish, Yor’s fingers danced across his neck, a gentle tease. Loid flinched, letting out a surprised laugh. “Yohor!”

“Awww no way!” Yor exclaimed, her eyes wide with delight. She couldn’t help but tickle him again, causing him to squirm and laugh uncontrollably. “This is too good!”

Trying to regain his composure, Loid shook his head, a mix of confusion and amusement. “Ahaha, hehehey!” Yor stops, leaning in.

“Just relax! I promise I won’t hurt you.” Yor leaned closer, her breath warm against his skin. “But what if I gave you ticklish kisses instead?”

Loid raised an eyebrow, trying to process her words. “Ticklish kisses? Umm well I-I..” he stutters

With a mischievous grin, Yor pressed her lips against his neck, her kisses soft yet playful. Loid’s reaction was instant; he erupted into laughter, the sensation overwhelming him. “Gah! Nahaha, Yor, wahahait! That tihihickles!!”

Yor couldn’t help but giggle along with him, encouraged by his laughter. “See? It’s fun!”

“Nahahaha okay, okahahahay, I get it!” Loid managed between breaths, still chuckling as she continued her affectionate assault on his neck.

But as Yor grew more enthusiastic, her kisses turned more intense, causing Loid to burst into another fit of laughter. “Ahaha ohohoh my gohohosh! I can’t—ah! It's tohoo much!”

“Just one more!” she teased, her lips brushing against his skin, eliciting more laughter from him. He tried to push her away playfully, but she was relentless, her ticklish kisses becoming a delightful torture.

Finally, breathless from laughter, Loid leaned back against the couch, his cheeks flushed from both the wine and the joy of the moment. “Alright, you win! No more ticklish kisses!”

Yor, still giggling, sat back, a satisfied grin on her face. “I think I prefer you like this, Loid. Less serious, more… fun!”

Loid smiled back, still recovering from the unexpected ticklish adventure. “Maybe a little fun isn’t so bad after all.”

As the two shared a comfortable silence, filled with laughter and warmth, they knew that this was a night they wouldn’t soon forget—a night of ticklish kisses and a bond that grew even stronger.

[artists-who-rarely-draws]

hi!!! what about laurance and/or garroth where the reader gets injured in a fight(whether it was because they took a hit for them or they failed to protect the reader)? how would they react? what would they do? thank you thank you! :D

☆°•Hunt down the good in me☆°•

Warnings : Gore, nothing horrific, but the reader gets wounded, and I tell you where and how bad lol. Accidentally focused more on the hurt than comfort. I'm so sorry lolol, you can totally feel free to request a follow-up for the recovery process if you want to focus more on that aspect lolol.

So it turns out this got kinda long- and if laurance is ANYWHERE near this length, then it's probably best to split them lmfaoo. But! I hope you enjoy, I'm gonna set up the masterlist then get working on the next part!

Again hope you enjoy, I haven't written in a few years so sorry if it's a liiittle off I'm gonna write and write till I got it lol.

And with that said, requests are still open!! Ah!! Please feel free to send one :D

GN reader, that will just be my default unless otherwise specified. Reader is wearing a corset of some kind but, there are plenty of Masc and GN medival fantasy outfits featuring corsets I don't think it should be a problem.

Anywho! Enjoy my drabble!

Garroth:

You don't even realize it immediately, your mind went blank and you could hear nothing but your own heartbeat. Time slows as you take in the shock and horror on your companions blue eyes and his mouth open in a shout that vaugley appears like your name.

What led you here? Oh, yes, that's right, you and Garroth were on a supply run for Pheonix Drop. He had taken the heavier of the two crates without a word about it before you both headed back down the trail. You remember it was a goregous day... warm and sunny shining through to the forest floor through the thick roof of leaves.

You were teasing him. You can't remember what for anymore... you're falling over. You had been mid-turn to face him big cheeky smile just in time for a bolt to fly through your upper arm clearly whoever shot you wasn't expecting the turn with their aim, you were mid turning feet unsteady but the force of the bolt going through your arm, knocks you down fully.

Your senses rush back to you when your knee hit the ground, suddenly deeply, agonizingly aware of the hole in your arm as pain shoots down it. Searing fire permiating deep into the tissue and muscle of your arm. The crate falls to the ground next to you. A pained Gasp rips itself from your lungs, and the sound of the forest comes rushing over you like a wave.

Your on your knees crumpled over on yourself shoulder and forehead pressed to the path dirt, you feel clammy and cold, but your arm is so incredibly hot.

" Y/N! " Garroths voice rings out along with the twang of a bolt hitting his shield and the loud thunks of armored boots running towards you but you can hardly register it, your mouth is dry and your nerves are screaming. Garroth slides to a stop and drops to his knees besides you moving one hand to turn you off your side and onto your back.

"GAH! Ah ah-" Another searing wave of pain through your injuried arm as it touches the ground tearing the shout from you, all your muscles involuntarily tense, other hand shooting to the wound feeling boiling hot thick blood covering your hand, the metallic smell acrid and overwhelming almost making the back of your throat feel sticky.

*Thunk* as another bolt hits Garroths shield, and the sun is hidden from your view as it raises to protect you as he asses your damage, eyes wide and frantic.

"No no no, don't do that" he says reaching for your hand to remove it from the wound, he's trying to sound put together for your sake but his voice is trembling.

"Ow ow ow fuck-" you gasp out as your hand is removed, your wrist held gently with his one free hand. You're bleeding a lot, but not enough for him to be worried that it tore a major vessel but far far too much for him to feel comfortable leaving you to take care of the assailant before doing... something ANYTHING to slow it, but he will need both hands to tie a tourniquet but if he puts the shield down he opens you both up to fire.

*Thunk* He growls under his breath at the impact against his shield, looking back at the bolt that spins and lands to the ground, feeling a curse bubble in the back of his throat The Quarrel is straight and smooth with no other points. Good news for you means the puncture should be clean, but those are the heads most adept for piercing through steel as if it's leather. Under normal circumstances, he would gladly take the bolts anywhere to protect you, but your dominant arm is currently out of use, so he can't afford not to kill who is attacking you.

His thoughts rush through him, acting fast he uses one hand to rip his cape off, lay it under your arm, shushing you gently as you groan in pain. He knows he can only do a very very temporary fix, folding it in half over the puncture, grabbing the excess and twisting it *as if* it was a tourniquet as tightly as he possibly can with just fabric alone around his fist. You breathe in sharply through your teeth as your arm is a strange mix of burning and numb pausing only to adjust his shield to block bolts.

"I know, just a few more moments" he whispers finishing tightening the fabric then balling up the excess the pressing it down hard on the top of the wound, your legs jerk harshly as you bite back a scream at the pressure.

"Listen to me very closely Lord Y/N" he speaks again voice firm determination blazing in Garroths mind as he firmly enters 'Guard mode' pushing aside his personal dread at the moment, knowing it will prevent him from doing this with the upmost efficiency.

"Your to use your uninjured arm to hold this ball as *tight* as you physically can right where I have it until I return to treat you. It is absolutely *imperative* that you follow my instructions exactly. It is the only thing keeping you from bleeding out. Move your hand on top of mine so you can press down the moment I leave" he instructs very very firmly, similarly to when he gives orders to his fellow guards. So with shaking hand you move your clammy hand and place it on top of his over the bundle of fabric and you feel his fingers twitch, as his heart lurches nearly losing his composure, sliding his hand away turning and sprinting in the direction of the bolts terrifyingly instead of a white hot rage he feels.. *nothing* devoid of the feeling for the life he's about to take, he's past the point of the hottest anger that could be.

This man is going to die, that is a simple reality. And it will be by Garroths hand.

Such is the fate of anyone who dares cause harm to his lord, his love.

He returns not long after, sheathing his sword and tossing his shield to the side as he runs to your side blood splattered across his face and armour he drops to his knees quickly again with both hands free now to fully pay attention to you, murderous haze melts away as he devolves into frantic movements, that your to lightheaded to really process them. The arm is full of very vital heavy bleeding arteries .

He asses the situation, unwrapping his cape from your arm to determine the state of the wound, cursing his own shaking hands as he tries to focus on his medical training and not the fact that it's you below him, your blood coating his fingers, and face drained of color. He notices instead of gushing the blood was a light dribble which is both... good and bad, your defiantly in shock so your body has severely lowered blood flow to your extremities so, your chances of bleeding out has severely lowered. Shock was something he could treat out here with the help of potions which he knew one of these crates held, they were for the Village but that didn't matter to him now.

"Good, good you did so well m'lord" he whispers taking a discarded bolt to make a more proper tourniquet, putting it in the ball of his cloak and using it to tighten the fabric even further around the wound easily cutting off the blood flow and securing it tightly. Moving a hand to just very slightly raise your back off the ground, second one moving to loosen the laces of your corset to allow for easier air flow as your breathing was turning shallow. He pulls your crate over to be just by your legs, raising up your feet and placing them on top of the crate to improve the blood flow. Before looking down at your hazy eyes.

"Stay with me Y/N. Stay with me, you are going to be just fine, you *have* to be just fine. Think of Levin and Malachi what they would do without you, what *i* would do" his thumb brushes over your cheek leaning down for just a moment to press his forehead to yours, a weak whine escaping you in responce as he shoots up sprinting to the crate he had dropped when he saw the bolt enter your arm. He had heard a smashing sound when it hit the ground and now was PRAYING to any of the divine that would listen that even one of these bottles where in a decent condition, grabbing a bolt that had bounced off his shield once more, he shoves it into the top half way before pressing hard on it until the crack of the crate giving can be heard and he prys it the rest of the way with his bare hands.

Tearing through the contents of the barrel until he finds at the very bottom a second much smaller crate but the lid wasn't nailed onto this one. He pulls it off tossing it away to reveal mostly shattered glass and soaking wet padding, but dizzying relief fills him when he finds 2 bottles that survived; Quickly snatching away one of them and running back to you using his teeth to pull out the cork as he was making his way.

"Good, good, you're doing so good." He continues shakily "your going to be just fine. All you need is to drink this, and you will be just fine. That's all you need." He says quickly, almost as if he was speaking more to himself than you, taking your injured arm and placing it over his shoulder partially to elevate it, heart cracking at the hiss of pain, but mostly to put his arm under your back so he could prop you up to drink from the glass bottle. Whispering words of encouragement and praise as he rubs the skin of your back with a thumb through your blood soaked shirt.

The potion works quickly, veins and nerves rebinding, and skin knitting back together as the thick bitter liquid slides down your throat, gagging in the first moment as your body tries to reject any more negative sensory. But Garroths head against your head gently shushing and still whispering to you gives you enough clarity to keep drinking. Until the cold bottle is taken away. And you feel the rush of blood entering your arm as the cloth on your arm falls away. The physical injury wiped away.. but the brain is not so easily healed, still in shock.

Now that the immeadite danger is gone. All of the emotions Garroth was hiding away to prioritize his duty slams into him like a blow to the gut, trembling sorrow, guilt, relief, and fear running through him as he harshly blinks away the tears burning his eyes. You can't see him cry like this not now. He needs to get you home.

"Hold onto me as tightly as you can" he mummers hating the trembling in his tone as he reaches down gathering you in his arms, one hand pressing your head the the juncture between his neck and shoulder, the other underneath your bottom, moving your legs to hook over his hips. Squeezing you rightly to himself for a moment once he has you situated, one arm may still need time to move bit you cling to him with the other his warmth and the familiar smell of Rosewood that clung to him still under the metallic tang of blood. He inhales deeply through his nose before giving a heavy exhale from his mouth, holding you as closely to him as he possibly can.

He Abandons the crates, and scraps of his cape to start walking to Pheonix drop holding you to him. Keeping the hand holding you to his neck gentle but firm, so you can't see the tears slowly falling down his cheeks.

He had failed you, not only as your guard.. your HEAD guard, but as a lover. And he would never do it again. He carries you home, whispering his love and apologizing over and over and over the whole way.