#they make me feel closer to that femboy status! my tummy is cute! but. others see it way different.
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#having straight thoughts.#nobody will know of my fantasy of being a normal husband who adores his wife. i know i cant ever have that but#gosh do i want a cheesy romance with some random girl . i dont actually love but.#gosh..#the thought of being desired and being able to desire. the thought of making a lovely lady happy. gah...#how i wish to just be a normal and whimsy guy sometimes. i just want to charm girls.#all i can do is confuse them and thats pretty much romance enough for me#i wish. i could feel love. sometimes. and im okay with not. but. also. gahh...#its just!! love seems like such a cute feeling!! i want to see people happy and enjoying themselves and i want to just!!#sigh. i just wish i could charm people and not in my 'scary weird not quite a girl' way#i wish i wasnt percieved as a girl at all but. if it helps#they percieve me as a weird scary girl! which is pretty nice. others percieve my as what i am : a femboy. a lot think im nonbinary?#gender is weird. i dont mind being called nonbinary but i HATE being reffered to as trans. like yes its what i am but it doesnt feel Right.#i do wish i was a cis guy. if i was a cis guy i would dress like a girl or nothing.#i wish i had a packer. i hope i can get top surgery one day. i wish i didnt have this body but theres things i do like about it.#i do like my body i think? but. gosh. the way others percieve it is awful. i hate being catcalled its so awkward. i like my curves because#they make me feel closer to that femboy status! my tummy is cute! but. others see it way different.#tonight i feel wonderful about my body because i got to lie against my friend's chest and feel their heart and i adore their body because#its theirs! and i wouldnt have it any other way! and they probably feel that way about mine . so i must love mine regardless.#im tired and my body has been wonderful today because i got to have it with a friend.#i want to lie against their chest again the feeling of touching them and being so close it hurts so much i need it#i love my friends#i love how they dont think my touch is bad i dont need to be worried about my grossness with them because they understand me atleast a lil.#i love them!!#feeling love in this special loveless way is wonderful. i never want to feel whatever romance is. sigh <3 :-)
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