#the smallest stories can have the biggest impacts on us

[erinwantstowrite]

bear with me here because i'm gonna ramble about something i've been thinking about for a while... and i'm not complaining, i'm just noticing

sometimes i think we've leaned so far into the vigilante side of the batfam that we miss out on what really makes their characters: detective work. we need more mysteries in their lives that don't lead up to some big bad "we already know who's doing it" or an "end of the world" or "yet again: this fucking guy." we need more stuff where spy movie music plays in the background and dumb adventures that don't lead up to some huge grand event with a big name villain. the shock factor stops being shocking or interesting in any capacity if we're like "Gah! the Joker! ... Again!" or whatever

does that even make sense? like "yeah sure they're blowing up a building again and there's hostages. oh look they're gonna poison the water supply." these aren't bad and that's not what i'm getting at because obviously this is a classic for comics. you need to have characters/antagonists that show up more than once and who can make a story better by being in it. and i did say to bear with me- that's because im tired. so like i hope im getting this across the right way? it's just that sometimes i don't wanna see a huge explosion, i want these motherfuckers solving a regular murder or a disappearance or regular corruption in a local office without it being tied to a grand reveal like "actually this person knows you as a long lost relative" or "they were at that circus can you guess which night they went?" that kind of thing? if you get me? like... more of the small time stuff makes the big stuff important, it makes it stand out more. at some point, the format gets repetitive even if you're switching up the villains. you can make these situations/mysteries still fun to solve for the characters and fun to read for the audience if you do it right

the concept of a detective dressed as a bat and having a sidekick in traffic light colors is inherently goofy as hell??? but that is what is so charming about it??? i think we have lost the balance between them being silly while also being intelligent with important conversations that criticize the world as we see it and teach lessons and can go over dark topics. nowadays it's always end of the world problems or just straight up the most gruesome true crime you can think of?? or they can ONLY do the dark stuff and the criticism without offering a balance of the good in the world. or we keep coming back to the FUCKING JOKER-

like yes they are vigilantes and with that comes a different level of their work, but their brand should be a mix between a black and white detective film that can get very nitty gritty and a classic spy movie, that kind of thing. at the end of the day, it's what makes them so different from the superheroes. that's what appeals to me.

seeing them in the big superhero groups is fun, don't get me wrong. it's always funny to see them standing next to people who are so powerful they never really fit in with anyone but each other, who chose to step up and use their powers for good. the Bats' specialty is Gotham and yet here they are stopping a god or whatever. and they do stop the god or whatever, all the while being an important leader and strategist to their teammates. they're important to have in these cases. but if there's a world ending event every time i pick something up, it's not as fun

the fact that they are so very human and not fantastical is why i like reading them. it's what makes the joke of people, even Gotham citizens, theorizing about them being cryptids, funny. they're fucking weird but that's because they're detectives. people who love to solve mysteries usually have a fatal flaw of curiosity. they forget the bounds between social interactions sometimes because they're used to working through problems or being intertwined with partners that understand them. but they're very much human. so human that it hurts them in many ways. and idk i've just been thinking about it lately and idk what point i'm trying to get across actually

it's just that in my eyes that's how it really is for Batman- a black and white movie narrated by a very serious man who took up a job to help people, one that has a deeper commentary on the world and viewed outwardly as pessimistic but actually has a deep hope for his city and who tries to help even the people who have wronged others. He's a stationary man in the belief that him being a constant can serve to soothe others and help them move forward. He stays in the middle of the path so he can tell everyone what is up ahead. he blends into the Gotham rainy night to serve justice but in a way that saves both the victim and the perpetrator. (the way he tucks a Robin into his cape is the same he does for Gotham with his mere presence.) and his background is actually so important to his story and yet people still somehow gloss over the lesson from it? he lost his parents because of a man who was on the opposite end of the spectrum to where he was in life. and yet he chose to help the people like the man that killed his parents. he could have done anything else with his power and money, but he instead is choosing to bring as many people up with him as he can. He's Mr. Serious that no one else can get a read on. and yet he walks into a room and he's already piecing together your life and what you're going through because he thinks it matters. he comforts people who have lost something or someone or themselves. I picture Batman and I don't picture a man trying to save the world, I picture a detective walking around a crime scene and trying to save at least one person every time he puts on the cape. and he put on the cape and became a vigilante because then he could go out of the bounds of what laws have been set up- and specifically, Gotham has other people in power who are corrupt, keeping the system that way. that's why Batman being a billionare and throwing himself into helping people at the risk of his own life is so important. he knows that if you are alive, you have something or someone to lose, no matter who you are. the dude is a bleeding heart but he doesn't know how to express it, in fear that if he gets too close, if he moves down the path with them, he'll be lost again

and then he's met with someone who should be a complete opposite, but isn't at all, because they're two sides of the same coin. his partner in crime, his son, a boy that is nothing like the black and white world that he sees. and that's the point in his life where he first sees that potentially getting lost is worth the risk. Robin is color and passion that needs guidance to move forward, but can not do so unless the stationary man learns to move with him. the kid is loud and reckless and you'd think he's from a different genre from the detective but they aren't so different, really. not when you look close enough. Dick grew up moving from place to place and seeing the world, knowing so many different people from different cultures. He's been learning to fly and jump and embrace the free fall his entire life. He's clever and he's sharp, and he thrives in the action and adventure. it's that perspective that compliments the stationary man. one is steady and the other pushes. he's the same genre but a different generation. and Batman introducing him to the way of life he chose for himself was another way he could save someone. because let's be real for a second? Dick would have gone down a very dark path had he not had Bruce, who understood, who saw not just himself in the kid but also saw who the kid has been his entire life until now. he saw Dick's parents, he saw the family he had in the circus, he saw the joy he had in what his family was doing. he saw the grief and the fire and the color that Dick's world was made of. because to Bruce, it always matters. Dick had to come to terms with Bruce's perspective to help anyone who they come across, to always give more chances, and it kept Dick from losing his color

what gets me is that the man who lives in the black and white world can actually see many different shades of gray (because black and white always needs the medium), whereas the boy in a world of color and light can get so focused on the bright that he can become single minded. and yet the boy sees a world of color and delves deeper into the lives of the peolle they come across and can be much more open minded, and the man in the black and white world sometimes forgets the shades of grey are right there. they are just like each other. they can exist without the other, but do they want to? because the black and white can be built up into the colored image, like the inking and shadows drawn on a comic book page before the colors are added in. they meet in the middle to complete each other. Bruce has been passing the story over to the next generation for a long, long time, even before his story was complete. and just like with the first Robin, it was so for every Robin afterwards. they each color in the lines differently, but that's what makes Robin so special, so unique. they are an art style that branches into their own life, but can not forget where they started: tucked into Batman's cape and the inky black of his world

and so detective work really frames their hunanity to me. the mysteries they get their hands on, the glimpses into the lives of Gotham citizens that they swore to protect, it's fascinating. it's what makes their story stand out compared to the people who can lift trucks or cast spells or run around the world in seconds. so yeah ig that's what i'm trying to say? that i want to read more of that? in both canon and fanon. cause even the small time villains we see can be like. AWFUL people and it takes out the fun of their gimmicks. and if it were any other day this would be a more coherent post but alas, it is not any other day

[aces-and-angels]

verified by 90-ghost follow asmaa @asmaayyad & on instagram (asmaa_ayyad98)

moots/lovely lurkers- lend me your ears (or eyes- y'all get it) and allow asmaa to introduce herself in her own words:

"hello I hope my message reaches you well i am asmaa ayyad from gaza, specifically khan yunis, i am 25 years old, i am trying to save me and my family from the war of extermination that is happening now (a/n: asmaa graduated from the university of palestine in 2021 and went on to study/train to become a practicing lawyer) we lost our home, our friends and some of our relatives, I have also been living far away from my fiancé for two years, I cannot reach him because of the increase in the coordination price and the closure of the crossings and borders (a/n: asmaa lists feras_lbrahim in her insta bio as her fiancé) please i want you to help me by publishing for me and standing by my side, as i am now struggling alone to save an entire family i wanted to contact @/90-ghost but he does not respond to me (a/n: since asmaa sent me this message, 90-ghost has been able to get in touch/share her posts) i would be very grateful to you if you helped me"

asmaa's family consists of 8 members- all of whom led beautiful lives prior to the war. asmaa's older brother, dia, was looking forward to his own wedding. instead of experiencing such a joyous day, his life was shattered after his home was destroyed by the israeli army.

to lose a home- all your valuable possessions- your memories- in an instant is something that cannot be fully understood unless you've gone through it yourself. in asmaa's own words (read & share full post here):

"in addition to the pain, oppression and suffering that displacement causes us, there is a material aspect that no one talks about or mentions or mentions in the media. every place we move from to a new place requires transportation from 1,500 to 2,000 shekels... and despite this amount, you cannot transport all your belongings. this is in addition to the costs of setting up the tent again and trying to return what you lost of your things and belongings. displacement kills us more than death, it drains our health, our money and everything we own... displacement is another war that is harsher than this war of starvation and extermination... displacement is a hidden killer. how many people have been martyred because they do not have the price of displacement? the price that saves them from death! how many people have lost their dignity because of it?! oh god, have mercy on us and our situation 🙏💔"

asmaa's family has already lost so much- friends, loved ones, their cat, timur. they are living in a nightmare they cannot wake up from. the decision to evacuate is not an easy one to make nor is it one for the rest of us to scrutinize. it's what asmaa + her family have decided is the best path forward

please support my friend however you can-- the smallest actions can make the biggest impact

if all you can do is share- then share. follow asmaa to get the most up to date news regarding her family. tell someone you know about asmaa's story. allow others who may be able to contribute more find asmaa so her family may get to safety

and if you can give little more, please visit the link below 🖤

cw: photos of destroyed buildings + deceased cat (timur) included in the campaign

[incorrectbatfam]

Batfam as made-up facts

Dick: The biggest biohazard in public swimming pools isn't the kid that peed in it, but rather the body oil from all the swimmers accumulating over time. Not only is oil not neutralized by pool chemicals such as chlorine, but it also floats to the surface and is the first thing you make contact with when you jump in the water. This is why a lot of public pools ask people to shower beforehand.

Jason: Making new memories is simply the process of our brains creating and reinforcing new neural connections. Traumatic or impactful events see denser myelination in the hippocampus (brain's memory center) and it's theorized that when we die and our "life flashes before our eyes," there's more activity in those denser regions leading to more vivid images of those moments.

Tim: Klondike's Equation is one of the lesser-known unsolved mysteries in math. It's a branch of calculus that takes Olivar's Laws of four-dimensional derivatives and creates a paradoxal equation by which the right half of it cannot be fully written if the left half is unsolved, but the left half needs values from the right in order to be computed.

Damian: The oldest interactive/roleplaying game dates back to the ancient Sumerians, according to records. It consisted of a theater of clay puppets that the audience would chime in with how they should act. It was often performed at bars or taverns during holidays with stories themed around mythical deities or fables.

Duke: In 1982, Bill Watterson brought to Archie Comics a standalone concept of a child hero and a sentient animal companion. However, he was rejected in favor of the up-and-coming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles story. After shopping around at companies and getting lots of rejections, Watterson finally found his big break with Andrews McMeel Publishing, cementing his place in comic history with the cult classic Calvin and Hobbes.

Cullen: The smallest readable book ever made is 12 nanometers long by 8 nanometers wide. It was engineered by four particle physics grad students at the University of Vienna and contains the first passage of the Bible across six microscopic pages.

Stephanie: Most aerosol cans use both oxygen and carbon dioxide as the aerosolizing agent, which is why you're told never to spray them near an open flame. However, for food (like whipped cream or spray cheese), nitrogen is used instead. This is to prevent perishable food from oxidizing and for preservation as nitrogen helps maintain a cooler inner temperature.

Cassandra: The most plausible explanation for the legendary chupacabra was proposed by a team of anthropologists in Oaxaca. Essentially, it combines the theories of mass hysteria with the existence of a similar creature that went extinct in early Mesoamerican history. As accounts of this now-extinct creature was passed down, the image of it was slowly distorted. The modern chupacabra legend likely arose in a period of mass hysteria during political and economical insecurity.

Barbara: Traditional computer programs can be broken down into a series of if-then commands by which a condition is given and the program must respond according to the parameters. However, machine learning algorithms use an expanded version of this, known colloquially as if-then-but-because-however. The "if-then" stipulates the parameters, the "but" is for modifiers, the "because" is for generating explanations (usually pulled from a database of other works unfortunately), and the "however" is for exceptions that may rise over the course of running the program.

Harper: Ambidextrous people actually struggle the most when it comes to the drums. Most drum setups and tabs (sheet music) are designed with right-handedness as a default. Left-handed people can simply flip it around it for themselves. However, ambidextrous players have been found to struggle with the asymmetry of the instrument. That's why, among professional rock drummers, only 6% are ambidextrous compared to the 18% of lefties and 76% of righties.

Carrie: Although it feels like our lungs are burning after holding our breath for a while, the sensation actually originates from our inflated diaphragm pressing against our lungs. Since there are more nerve endings around our lungs than our diaphragm, we interpret the feeling higher than where it actually occurs.

Kate: During the war of 1812, a group of nine Canadian men known as the False Damsels donned women's attire to act as spies against the Americans. Of the nine, four of them reportedly continued crossdressing after the war and one of them started going by Margaret a few months later and remained unmarried for 20 years until they moved to Portugal with an unknown courter.

Alfred: In 1757, the British government attempted to train livestock, such as cows and chickens, to spy on domestic threats (such as anti-monarchists). However, this project never took off due to a regional outbreak of avian flu combined with the takeoff of the Industrial Revolution and new inventions that rendered animal labor obsolete.

Selina: Coffees and wines contain a bitter compound called tannins, and the ability to taste them is genetically determined. Capsaicin can be seen analogously. Some people inherit a gene that allows them to detect capsaicin fully, so when they eat a pepper, all they get is the heat and little to no flavor. Conversely, others have a gene where the heat is "muted" and they can better distinguish the flavors between two spicy foods.

Bruce: There is a correlation between one's taste in food and expectation of others. According to a 2019 Harvard study, people who reported preferring more simultaneous flavors in their food were 26% harsher in an activity where they had to grade students' mock essays.

[rabbiteclair]

I think this opinion is not a big surprise to anybody who's talked to me about Otherside Picnic for any real length of time, but I feel like the first book is pretty rough, and the series doesn't really hit its stride until the kotoribako. (Which, of course, makes the anime even more of a tragedy.) I don't dislike the first book and a half, but I do think that section is relatively weak compared to most of the later installments, especially if you are not spending the entire time nodding and going 'wow Sorawo is so relatable, I too am an antisocial nerd with few redeeming qualities who would risk drowning in a marsh just to have a quiet, secluded hangout spot'. Trying to explain just why I feel like the opening parts are weaker has always been a pain though, so I wanna try listing the reasons.

Roughly in order from biggest -> smallest issues -

Sorawo + Toriko's powers and the fights: Early on, their eye/hand feel very... isekai protagonist power, where they've got a cool trump card ability that counters every enemy. The kunekune is defeated by Sorawo looking at it and Toriko shooting it. The big monster at Kisaragi is defeated by Sorawo looking at it and shooting it. The windmill lady is defeated by Sorawo looking at it and shooting it. Book 2 starts introducing more variations on the formula, and by 3 the 'look at it and shoot it' approach is rarely a meaningful solution. Even when their abilities are key to defeating something, like with the yamanoke, it isn't so straightforward. This is very much an improvement, because I think the fights start feeling same-y pretty fast.

the variety of threats: This is kind of unavoidable for a few reasons, but the threats from the Otherside are very straightforward this early on. In between the kunekune and the kotoribako, basically every enemy is a big scary thing that chases them or tries to abduct them. The variety of threats diversifies a whole lot past that point, and by books 4-5 the Otherside is basically conducting sociological experiments on them instead. (The anime exacerbates this by adding two more episodes of 'a scary thing chases them' encounters.)

the vibe of the monster encounters: Later on, the series gets pretty good at working the netlore stuff in more naturally, and a lot of them aren't even fully explained outside of the author's notes at the end. The earlier in the series you are, the more likely it is that each monster is introduced with two paragraphs of "'wow, it's Hasshaku-sama, just like in my favorite 2008 2chan horror story. You see, Hasshaku-sama is a ghost who is eight shaku tall and-". Part of this is just Sorawo being Sorawo, but the earlier ones feel pretty... fanservice-y to me, in the traditional sense of pandering to fans. And I say this as somebody who fucking loves kunekune.

the Otherside feeling arbitrary: The Otherside's rules and mechanics are still being established that early on, and a lot of the time it crosses over from feeling 'mysterious' to 'arbitrary' to me. I think the big culprit here is all the times they get sucked into the Otherside without warning. That happens like every other chapter in the first two books, and I feel like it's the kind of thing you need to use really sparingly lest it lose its impact (which I think it does here.) File 4 in particular is a whole series of arbitrary-feeling stuff imo and some of it, like the glitch village, doesn't feel like it fits very well with the mechanics of the Otherside as we understand them in newer books.

relationship/character development: Their relationship just isn't in as interesting of a place early on, and their characters aren't as fleshed out. Sorawo is always good, but at times early on she can feel like a genderswapped 'complete loser lucks into powers' LN protag. She gets a lot more nuanced past the first few files. The speed/degree with which Sorawo falls for Toriko also feels a little forced to me. This last part isn't a major complaint, because Sorawo barely comprehends her own emotions and spends the whole time bewildered by it, herself.

supporting cast: Similar to the previous one, the series just hadn't had time to build up the supporting cast by this point. It's just Kozakura until file 7. I can hardly call this a flaw, since it can't introduce everyone in chapter 1, but I feel like the expanded cast has made things more interesting. In book 1 you gotta wait five more whole books to meet Benimori. Tragic.

[afniel]

Today (on three hours of sleep which is my own fault) my partner and I got up early and got breakfast and then went to a community education seminar at a local university's educational garden about native bees, and made a wooden bee house. Our landscape designer team (two women who I'm pretty sure are queer) was there attending and it was run by a really cool woman who runs another landscaping co-op (with a nonprofit educational side) who is also working with them to teach them all the ins and outs of permaculture, and they kinda group-projected our yard, so I got to know all three of them over the course of the contract, which was cool.

It was great, you guys. We talked about the importance of supporting native pollinators, because honeybees are fine and all but outcompete native bees, some of whom are so specialized that their exact wing frequency is what it takes to pollinate a single, specific species. The world's smallest bee is 2mm at the largest and lives right here. We've got sweat bees that look like tiny flying gems. We've got bumblebees that are so docile you can gently pet them while they're gathering pollen. We have huge, harmless carpenter bees with metallic black shiny females and golden fuzzy males and they'll bonk into you just to see what you're doing.

I got to get excited about iNaturalist to a bunch of people who haven't heard about it before! I got to see thousands of honey bees just doing their business and I realized I wasn't having my usual phobic reaction anymore! I got to use a power drill! I got on the mailing list and I'm gonna see if I can't get even more involved in this kind of shit over time, because it's honestly great.

You're only one person but even little things can have an outsized impact, and it's not in turning off the water when you brush your teeth, it's in things like planting native keystone species so that the other living things that rely on it can move back in. Even in a tiny area. Animals and plants spread and have ripple effects. The same way removing a species causes a spreading collapse, bringing back a species, even just one, causes a spreading regrowth of diversity. Literally a handful of plants can support countless insects that support countless animals and this changes the environment just a little bit at a time back to a better state. It does make a difference and it doesn't have to be hard or expensive.

I get really excited about native species because as I see it, getting educated about them and making decisions to support them is what's going to locally make the biggest impact for the least money. The success stories can be literally microscopic, when it comes to things like soil microbes, but they really, really matter. One person can't fix the whole climate but one person can fix a one-person-sized patch of ground, and that's enormous when you remember that thousands of important little things spend their entire lives within even the smallest yard.

Anyway I'm tired to hell now but hey maybe next spring we'll have a bunch of big goofy carpenter bees living in the yard! Or even other native bees. I'm hype as heck to find out.

Also, and I forgot to say this so ETA, I guarantee THIS IS HAPPENING wherever you are. Look up your closest university and find out what kind of research/community gardens they have and what kind of seminars they offer. Look into your state and county conservation programs. There's outreach education all over, and a whole lot of it is donate-as-you-can, because they just want to get knowledge into the community. If you want to hear it, they want to teach it to you, and they're almost universally some of the kindest folks you're going to meet. If this sounds even a tiny bit interesting, do some searching and I would bet you anything there's opportunities right there waiting.

[radiowallet]

Eyes Open - Chapter One

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x Amy Oliver (ofc) Summary: As the leader of the Heroics, Marcus Moreno always seems to get stuck with the worst of the legislative duties, including dealing with the local police stations. The station secretary, Amy Oliver, quickly steps in, finding subtle and not-so-subtle ways to get Marcus the information he needs. WC: 2.5K Warnings: 18+ MDNI Canon-typical violence, talk of police work, slow burn, yearning, idiots friends to lovers, financial stressors, second chance romance, workplace romance (sort of), older love interest, eventually explicit.

Series Masterlist II Main Masterlist II Marcus Moreno Masterlist

Cross-Posted to AO3

>>> Chapter Two

A/N: Hello friends! It's been a very very very long time since I've posted a fic and needless to say, your girl is nervous. I've been hard at work on book prep and promotion, and in between all of that I have been plucking away at this story. I really wanted to write something fun and easy and self-indulgent. Thank you to everyone for reading!

For any new writing follow @radiowallet-writes and turn on notifications.

----

Marcus is tired. The kind of tired that builds slowly, the feeling cresting higher and higher until it’s pulsing behind his eyes. The kind of tired that leaves him irritable and anxious, and ready to take it out on anyone or anything. His head is pounding, his body aching from the physical exertion of standing his ground for far too long. It had been what felt like hours of runaround from the chief of police; a semi-regular occurrence that he had grown far too accustomed to. The room was stuffy, the blinds pulled closed and the door shut tight, locking them in with the stale air and cigarette smoke. He fights the urge to tug at his tie, refusing to give the bullheaded ass sitting across from him the satisfaction.

Being leader of the Heroics came with quite a few headaches but the bureaucratic anxieties that came along with dealing with the local law enforcement was one of the biggest thorns in his side. 

“Sir, the Heroics have always done our best to keep the lines of communication with your precinct open. But in order to achieve that, you’ll have to meet us in the middle.”

Chief Baldwin chuckles, the sound demeaning in more ways than one. He leans back in his chair, his heels making a heavy thud as they hit his desk. “As in break protocol? Skirt the rules? Allow vigilantes free reign in my precinct and my city?” 

“I don’t see how my asking for a few unredacted case files is–”

“Forget it, Moreno!” He grins, making a show of picking up the very file Marcus had asked for. “You can go through the proper legal channels and you’ll take what I give you. Now get the hell out of my sight.” 

Marcus turns where he stands and storms out, making sure to slam the door as hard as he can, the bland, generic art hanging on the wall rattling on impact. For a moment he doesn’t move, chest heaving and fists clenching, wishing he had something (or someone) to take this simmering rage out on. Just as he’s about to start walking again, intent on completing his righteous tantrum with a moniker of dignity, a soothing voice hits his ear with the smallest of peace offerings. 

“Coffee?”

He turns to see Baldwin’s secretary staring at him from her desk, a stack of paper sitting in front of her, her pen poised above a signature line. His frown shifts, the tension melting from his shoulders as his head jerks out a nod and he falls into the seat beside her desk, the chair squeaking beneath the weight of him. 

She doesn’t say anything else, instead gripping his shoulder once before standing and stepping away. He watches her from the corner of his eye, her movements precise as she pours him a cup of dark liquid. She tears open two sugars, adding them along with a splash of cream before finally setting the navy blue mug down in front of him. She pours her own, a chipped white mug with a worn-away police badge on the front, and returns to her seat, turning her quiet gaze in Marcus’s direction. 

“You can say it,” she prompts, brown eyes watching him over the rim of her mug, the slightest hint of a smile curling along the corner of her lips.

“Your boss is a jerk.”

She doesn’t respond, but her smile shifts just a smidge wider. She takes a generous sip, humming as if she actually enjoys the taste of it. She sets her coffee to the side, and pushes up the sleeves of her cream-colored blouse, turning back to her stack of papers with renewed intent, jotting something down across the top of the page.

“The two of you have been doing this dance for years now. I’d think you’d be used to it.”

Marcus grumbles into his own coffee, refusing to respond, knowing full well how good of a point she’s making. Amy Oliver has, after all, had a front row seat to every argument between the Heroic and the chief of police from day one. She knew the pattern just as well as Marcus did, and after every instance of door slamming and name calling she was always there to help in her own way. She was one of the few people in the building who brought a smile to his face and he found that even when he knew there would be trouble, Marcus always looked forward to sitting at her desk and sipping her terrible coffee. 

“Might be time to just end these little visits. Not like they get me anywhere.”

“Don’t joke,” she gasps, her over the top pout more than comical. “What would I do for entertainment around here without the two of you having your little pissing matches? My job?”

He rolls his eyes, but her smile is contagious, and before he can stop himself, he’s hiding his own behind his mug. 

“Perish the thought.”

“The audacity,” she murmurs mostly to herself, checking another box with a bit too much flourish, her ponytail swinging from the effort. “How was your weekend? Did Missy end up going out with what’s his name? The one who’s death you’ve been daydreaming about?”

Marcus feels his smile slip at the change in topic, but Amy doesn’t miss a single beat. “She did! I love this! How did Marcus Moreno, leader of the Heroics, handle his baby girl going out on a date?” 

“I’ll have you know I handled it great.”

The admission seems to finally have her full attention. She drops her pen and leans forward on her elbows, the tips of her fingers just grazing the tops of his thighs. 

“Define ‘great’?” 

Marcus swallows hard, ignoring the heat swirling deep in his belly, even as he feels himself lean, just barely, into her phantom touch. Amy, for her part, takes his silence in stride, reading between the lines of everything he doesn’t say.

“Let me guess? Sharpening those silly swords at the kitchen table when he came to pick her up? A stern reminder of curfew while also demonstrating superhuman strength? A text or two under the guise of ‘checking in’?”

He barks out a laugh at how keen her eye really is. “Alright, you got me! I may have leaned a little hard into the protective dad thing.”

“And I bet Missy was still home by curfew.”

“A few minutes early, actually. Not sure why I worry so much.”

Her hand is on his knee before he even has a chance to register the feeling, another comforting squeeze, there and gone faster than he can pull air into his lungs. “Because you’re a dad.”

He coughs and takes another sip of coffee, an action meant only to help slow his racing heart, and leans further back in his chair.

“How was your weekend?”

“Oh, big Saturday night. My mom sent Harris Candy Land. So, naturally we had to play it 5,000 times in a row.”

Marcus feels his chest fill with a different kind of warmth, picturing Amy and her 7 year old daughter going toe to toe over the same board game he and Missy would play night after night. She could downplay it all she wanted, but he knows that when given the chance to spend quality time with her daughter, Amy would play as many repetitive games as there were stars in the sky. 

“You wouldn’t believe how many times she beat me, Marcus! I swear! This weekend I’m pulling out Monolopy and letting her taste my wrath.”

“Big words,” he teases, admiring the way her cheeks heat up beneath his own gentle ribbing.

When their snickers finally start to subside Marcus moves to refill both their mugs while Amy continues to work. She thanks him, easily splitting her focus in a way he’s always been jealous of. She checks a few more boxes and signs one paper after another, all the while never letting her bright eyes and impish grin stray from his attention. She doesn’t falter, even in the throes of her gentle teasing, and Marcus wishes he could spend the rest of his day sitting across from her.

And then, as if she can read his mind, “Can you stay for lunch today?”

“No,” he sighs, hating the taste of the word more than the shit Amy calls coffee. “I have to get back. The rest of the team will be waiting for me.” He takes one final sip of coffee before standing, knocking his fist against her desk in lieu of goodbye. 

“Okay, well, can you toss these files in the shredder for me on the way out the door? I have to get a presentation set up for a briefing, and I’m already behind.”

“Of course,” Marcus agrees, accepting the stack of papers that she had been carefully chipping away at since he walked in this morning.  

“Thanks, handsome,” Amy quips, turning back to the computer screen, the click of her mouse following him as he goes. When he gets to the shredder he stops and tosses one single piece of paper away, taking care to fold the rest in half before sliding them into the breast pocket of his jacket. Once outside, he walks quickly to his car, only stopping briefly to send a quick text.

M: Thank you 

A: For what?

She always was a pro at playing dumb.

It would have been easy to mistake Amy as a wallflower, her eyes always pointed down, her lips seemingly sealed tight, fetching coffee and filing paperwork with zero complaints. She knew the precinct better than anyone, and though every cop in the building would rather die than admit it, she was the reason that place made any difference.

It certainly wouldn’t be the first time a secretary was underestimated. 

But it wasn’t long before she proved that very notion wrong, finding Marcus after his very first argument with Baldwin, pushing a crumpled piece of paper into his hand along with a crappy cup of station coffee. When he smoothed it open later that day, it was to find a list of suspects, hastily scribbled in Amy’s beautifully looped cursive. 

Neither of them mentioned it again, but the tips kept coming, subtle and not so subtle alike. Case files meant for the shredder that never made it, heavy boxes carried to the evidence locker under the guise of a favor, and one hilarious time when a phone number had been penciled into five down on a Monday morning crossword puzzle. Each one had helped him avoid the legislative tape wrapped securely around police work, and Marcus was eternally grateful for all she did to help him and the other Heroics. 

Even if he couldn’t tell a single soul.

M: Next time I’m around, lunch is on me.

Marcus tries not to think about how it’ll probably be a few weeks before he shows his face around the precinct again, especially considering the confidential information he had just been handed. It always felt prudent to keep a low profile after these run-ins with Baldwin. He picks up his pace, anxious to get back to Heroics headquarters and begin parsing through the case report tucked out of sight, his detective skills already thrumming to life with the potential of new puzzle pieces.

It’s another helpful distraction from the lingering memory of her comforting grip around his shoulder, the hint of her smile over the rim of a chipped coffee mug, the teasing lilt of sweet adorations that he knows don’t mean a thing.

-------------

Amy takes care to keep her eyes forward, watching Marcus over the top of her computer monitor, only catching a glimpse of his hands as he tosses away some of the pieces of paper she had handed him, and pocketing the rest. The transition is seamless, and she can’t help but swell with pride as the Heroic disappears completely from view, the front door of the precinct swinging shut behind him.

Her concentration is broken by another stack of papers hitting the corner of her desk. From the sound of the dull thud it gives, she already knows the rest of her afternoon is now spoken for. But, she reasons, at least it should help the hours tick by just a little bit faster. 

“I swear. That Moreno. He just doesn’t know when to call it quits.”

She casts an eye over her shoulder at her boss, refusing to feel any sort of shame for being caught staring. It was hardly the first time she had let her eyes linger on the width of his shoulders or the cut of his jaw, unable to deny how handsome the man is. She was only human after all.

Today had been just like any other, Marcus’s righteous fury boiling away to reveal his tender heart, joking along with her as he slowly relaxed back into himself. Amy could feel the heat making a home in her cheeks, unable to look away from his plush lips as they formed around a laugh or the stretch of his skin as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. But for all her stolen glances and coy flirting, she knew she could never bear to ask for more, not willing to risk the precious friendship they’d built together over the years. 

“You could try playing ball with the Heroics every once and a while.”

“He’s a bleeding heart, Oliver. Walking around with superpowers and worrying about petty police business. Best not to get too hung up on him.”

A bleeding heart is one way to put it. 

A good man is another. 

A rare find in a world full of men and women alike who were anything but. Amy had had her fair share of experience with those, Harris’s dad the best example she could conjure up. But it hardly mattered. He was gone and she and Harris were better off for it. 

And if given the choice she’d gladly take Marcus’s bleeding heart over the man who walked out when there were two lines on the stick instead of one. 

Derek stares down at her, dark eyes nearly piercing where they pin her in place. For the briefest of moments, white hot panic slices through her heart and she worries he’d seen the case report Marcus had slipped out of sight. But then he’s turning away, reaching for the coffee pot that lives behind her desk, pouring the last dregs of dark liquid into his cup. 

“But we’re all on the same side. Right? Derek?”

Amy watches the older man for a minute longer, doing her best to listen to the steady beat of his silence for any lingering secrets. But Derek Baldwin has always been best at keeping things close to the vest, and his true feelings towards the Heroics were no exception. He taps two fingers on the stack of papers, his movement firm, his orders concise. 

“Finish these up and then you can head out for the night.”

“Sir?”

“Take the afternoon. See your kid. You’ve earned it.”

Amy can’t help but smirk, ducking her head and pulling the papers close, anxious to finish up and head home. 

If only he knew the whole truth. 

Earned it doesn’t even begin to cover it. 

------------

>>> Chapter Two

A/N: All my love and thanks go out to @jazzelsaur who has listened to me talk about these two (and silly book stuff) basically non-stop. Really, truly, I can't believe I get to call you my friend. How is that possible????

[rottingfern]

For the ask game.

🍙 - What story (fanfiction or published work) had the biggest impact on you?

Love, Wordsy 🧡

For my writing style - honestly, fanfiction that has sprung up around any one of Neil Gaiman's works. There are so many fantastic writers in those fandoms writing the most beautiful, hilarious, heartbreaking fic and it really inspired me to get into prose writing.

Emotionally and morally - the works of Andrzej Sapkowski. I know those unfamiliar with the Wiedźmin cycle outside Netflix (and a few who are familiar but just miss the point) assume he's writes like this grimdark fantasy stuff similar to GRRM (although I am quite a fan of GRRM as well) but Sapkowski instead kind of takes all that and turns it on its head.

Because the stories aren't really about monsters and fantasy and fake politics - they are about humanity and empathy and real politics and about the power of choice. They're about how fate or "being doomed by the narrative" is BULLSHIT because we have the ability to make choices, because we have empathy, because we have the power to use that empathy to make choices that accept and heal those around us. They're about false narratives spun by people in power and about how we can fight back.

They're about You Can Make The Human Choice. You can care for those you love, and you can support those being crushed under the heel of powerful oppressors with even the smallest act of human decency, and everything else is bullshit as long as you can be human.

It's this beautiful philosophy dressed up in grimdark fantasy clothing. Wiedźmin was quite popular in the country I grew up, and reading the cycle as a preteen really shaped my emotional and moral core and for that I'll always hold it dearly close to my heart.

[pvccblog]

JUST GETTING STARTED

Another wonderful day in Oregon!  Our day started off with the breakfast of champions - spam and eggs!!

The wind seems to have shifted a bit and the wildfire smoke was pretty heavy today.  It didn't stop the campers from having an excellent time at sports camp! It was interesting though, they were complaining about the heat today.  To us, the weather was perfect!!  Around here, if the temperature hovers near 80 degrees it is too hot.  Quite different from the destinations we usually travel to for these trips!  We are used to triple digits so this weather is quite pleasant for our team.  

Axel taught the lesson today and it was about Jesus healing the paralyzed man.  The kids seemed pretty engaged.  We are praying that the lessons will sink in and that the kids will remember them and be able to apply them to their lives.  We are also praying for any of them who do not know Jesus - that they would come to know him in a real and personal way!  

At BARF Night, we played a new game.  Pastor Fred's son Josiah had a birthday today and he wanted play wiffle Ball tonight.  We ended up playing "Extreme Ultimate Wiffle Ball" and it was a blast.  It seemed to be just as fun for those watching us play, they were quite entertained. 

We also played Rabbit Sticks and it was a very tiring, competitive, even match.  Axel ended up winning for his team with a dive across the line that left him bruised, cut, and with dirt all over himself.  Keep in mind that this was after he slid into home plate during the wiffle ball game and blood was drawn.  He's a beast!

Martina is such a great young woman of God.  She shared her testimony tonight and it had an impact.  Her story resonated with many in the crowd.  Even the parents came over to hear her share and they were very impressed that someone her age would be so brave to share in front of a crowd like this.  Nicole and I are certainly proud of her, but we are not surprised.  Martina has come on our Intergenerational Mission Venture for years and has even shared her testimony on that trip.  Way to go Nina! 

After BARF Night, we went over to Pastor Andrew's house.  He is the pastor of the Baptist church I mentioned previously.  He and his wife Tonya served us ice cream and we played games and hung out with their family and David's family and a couple of the local teens.  It is pretty cool to see them invest in their community.  David and his wife actually grew up in Glendale and have been serving in local youth ministry pretty much since they graduated from the local high school.  It's been over 20 years!!! Praise the Lord for their long term commitment!  

I also want to share how pleased I am with the unity of our team.  We have never combined with another mission team and it's pretty amazing how they have merged together so well.  Part of it is that some of our students grew up with Phin for a few years while he lived in Pine Valley, but I think it is also a testament to their upbringing and their relationship with Jesus and their desire to serve him and share the gospel with others.  This is the smallest team we've ever had at PVCC, and some of our biggest years our teams had over 20 students.  I am noticing this year that a small team that is so "locked in" can have incredible impact in a place like this.  We are praising God that He knew who would be here this week and that he is using us to accomplish His mission!  

Please continue to pray.  We know that you are because God is working!  There were a few great conversations at BARF Night with some teens and we are hoping this continues to develop.  Tonight at Family Time we talked about how we can take longer breaks between games to allow for more opportunities to chat with people.  I am not going to share a lot of details about these conversations but please know that they are happening!      

We are looking forward to another great Wednesday!  If you haven't already, scroll back and check out our video from our rafting trip on Sunday!  Thanks everyone!

[dancingbabya-notes]

Bitter or Sweet?

<-•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•->

Hello, hello. Here we are again. I realized that I needed to take a break and now I just want to write.

Now here is my disclaimer: This is a work of fiction any similarities between existing stories or people is completely coincidental. All characters are depicted as adults- this includes the reader.

How does this work? I make a prompt list two to three weeks before the first posting. I will pick the characters I write about because I find that If I ask, I get no response I don’t know if I have enough of an audience that I feel I can ask for everyone to ask for anything. So, for now I will pick the characters in these. (I'll post the completed prompt list in the middle of the month jlyk)

But welcome again to the valentine posts I do. There will be either something bitter or something sweet. If there is anything I think needs a warning it will be listed between the dividers like here. I also like to list the names of the characters so everyone can read about the people they want.

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta, Tartaglia

<-•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•->

1: “My face is red, isn’t it?” Midoriya

You dropped the box with all the energy you had left, knowing full well that it was gonna break upon impact, not that you needed to save the box. “Fuck me, that was heavy.”

“Um, uh…” standing next to you was a customer.

“Oh, uh how can I help you?” Putting on your usual smile you fix your lanyard, so it doesn’t get caught on the box flap, the number of times you’ve lost something from it getting caught were countless.

He nods a bit. “I was looking for a shirt.”

You could feel your energy falling quickly, the T-shirt wall was a fucking nightmare, you avoided it when you could help it. “Um sure what shirt were you looking at and what size did you want?”

“It was a Dynamight shirt, I need an XL,” he beams, and you give a slight nod.

“Oh, hero shirts are easy…” you glance at the wall. “Let me check if we have any in the back just wait here.”

“It’s in the top, Y/N.”

Glaring at your coworker you had to grab a ladder and start looking through the different stacks. While all this was happening everyone in the store would probably watch nervously as the smallest person in the store got on the biggest ladder to look through the boxes. Even in the act you could hear the ladder shake from your uneasy steps, it didn’t matter if you knew it was safe you still felt nervous as hell and would be facing the consequences later from tending so hard.

“Ah, I found it.” Grabbing the shirt stack, you started precariously making tote way down, because if you came down the ladder wrong, you’d end up having to refold all those shirts and there were already boxes that you had to deal with.

“C-careful.” The man manages as he was watching you come down.

“I’m fi-

The ladder had old feet, it wasn’t grippy anymore and that meant sometimes if you pushed your weight one way it could move in the opposite direction. You definitely wouldn’t be compensated if you bust your ass from not using the ladder properly. But luckily you fell into someone’s arms instead.

“Sorry about that.” You chuckle nervously trying to calm your pounding heard from the near-death experience. Would you be okay, you didn’t hurt the customer, did you? You’d definitely get in trouble if that was the case.

But as you turn to check that you didn’t hurt the large green haired man he smiles nervously. “Eh heh, my face is red, isn’t it?”

Nodding a bit, you find your footing and hand him the shirt he asked for. “Be careful baby it’s easy to catch colds in those weather.”

He just laughs nervously nodding a bit. “R-right. Thank you again.”

“Not a problem.” You wave, no extra work you were thankful for that at least.

Later when you were getting off your shift you didn’t expect to find the green haired customer from earlier. If your feet weren’t hurting from all the movement, you’d fine in the day you probably would have lingered longer but you just send him a wave.

Almost as if you were a magnet for bad situations, you found yourself in his arms again. “Careful you must be accident prone.”

You shake your head. “Hehe, if that were only the case that’d be great. It’s just my quirk, I’m not exactly the luckiest person around.”

“Oh, that must be annoying.” He mumbles a bit, and you watch as he seemed to spiral into a mess as he was looking at you.

“It ain’t too bad, it just activates when it wants to.” You shrug a bit. “Thanks again for saving me twice today.”

“It’s what I do, Y/N.” You were about to take a step back trying to figure out how he knew your name, but your coworker quite literally shouted it across the store.

“That’s cool, what’s your name if you don’t mind me asking? My Nana always told me to mind my manners and that included thankin people properly.” You smile, changing your weight back and forth between your feet.

“Midoriya.”

“Well, it was lovely meeting you and thank you for saving me from some embarrassing hospital visits.” You give a slight bow.

“Not a problem.”

2: “I’m way too sober for this.”  Aizawa

Fixing your suit collar, you weren’t sure if you felt silly or like this was simply a long time coming. The time you spent with this man was quite literally life changing and despite your daughter pestering for the two of you to get married it was only now that the idea dawned on you. When you were washing his mug and putting it in the same spot or realizing that his coffee was running low in your house, and you made a note to buy some more. There wasn’t a moment where you could imagine living the rest of your life without this man, flaws, and all.

But as you stood in front of his apartment unannounced with a cup of his favorite take-out coffee in a suit you were starting to feel silly at this idea.

“Keith this is the last time I take your suggestions.” You grumble reminded that your daughter was currently attempting not to burn your apartment down by making breakfast.

Ringing the bell again you felt your anxiety eating at the last bit of confidence you built up solely to come here. Only for the door to open and Shouta to look at you confused.

“Did I miss something?” From the look alone he was about to check his phone to see if you sent him anything and your last bit of nerve was dying.

“No!” You shout pushing the coffee toward him. “Will you marry me?”

Rightfully this man looked confused, sweatpants and messy hair just as you would like any other day while you were dressed in a fitted suit. He looked at the coffee cup and accepted it hesitantly.

“I’m not sure what brought this on, but sure.” He nods a bit.

You deflate relaxing a bit as you crumble to the ground. “I thought I was gonna have an anxiety attack before you answered. Do you know it’s hard to get a suit rented in less than twenty-four hours? Because I didn’t. I hope we can take all that planning stuff slow. Not to mention Keith is probably burning my apartment down as I speak.”

Shouta nods a bit as he sips from the coffee. “I’m way too sober for this.”

“You will continue to be unless you want the two of us to move into your apartment,” you roll your eyes before turning to go back. “You have five minutes Keith wanted to make you breakfast.”

“I fear our nearly adult daughter might need to learn how not to set fires when cooking,” he yawns as he seems to grab a sweater and his cat, Tea gifted to him by said daughter who coincidentally found it while patrolling one day.

You loosen the tie a bit, finally feeling like you can relax. “She’ll be happy to know that you’re willing to teach her how to cook.”

“Only if it’ll keep us from becoming better acquainted with the fire department in the area. They already know her well enough to call her by name when she passes the station,” Shouta points out, you were now holding Tea while he put his sweater on not spilling even the smallest bit of coffee.

You nod a bit. “And I guess by our union I’m gaining what more than twenty adult children who still see to cause you troubles?”

“They’re not my children.” He groans.

“I got a phone call from Shoto’s manager concerning his alarmingly persistent advancements toward a particular person. Said person nearly lost their job because he froze most of the building. Keith handed me the formal invitation to their wedding. It seems we revived one to attend on the groom's side.” You ramble off as you lead the man to your apartment.

“Did you reply?”

You shrug a bit. “Was waiting for you.”

3: “Hey, sorry I’m late I couldn’t get out of work.” Tartaglia (Childe)

You pride yourself in your patience, your mom told you that when you were a child, you’d find plenty of other ways to bide your time when waiting for her or a treat. All your friends and even strangers commend you for your patience. It’s gotten to a point where you wonder if you were patient with people or simply too tired to fight. Too tired to leave.

So right now, in this moment while you were sitting at the table at a restaurant you were starting to lose that prized patience. It was nearing the fifth hour of waiting for a blind date, it was humiliating you should have left after the second hour, but you found yourself feeling guilty.

Though just as you were considering leaving someone took the seat in front of you. “Uh…”

You blink. Sitting before you was a man surprisingly, he looked rather sharp despite being dressed quite plainly. Auburn hair looks messy almost as if he’s just wet it and freed it of gel.

“Hey, sorry I’m late I couldn’t get out of work,” he flashes a lopsided smile which made you relax a bit.

But he didn’t match the description of your blind date. “You didn’t have to…”

His hand sits on yours giving you a bit of squeeze. “Whoever made you wait five hours without so much as a call or excuse doesn’t deserve you.”

Chuckling you felt your eyes prick with tears. “Um thank you, would you like to share a meal with me?”

He nods. “My name is Tartaglia, but you can call me Childe.”

This made you raise a brow. “Interesting connection, you can call me y/n.”

Saving at your eyes to keep your face from getting achy later you smile at him. Though surprisingly the conversation was lovely. You found yourself talking with him quite well. Though he refused to let you pay the bill, you were sure he was the host that sat you down hours prior.

“So, you enjoyed your night?” He asks, hand holding yours almost as if you were his partner at a fancy ball.

“Yes, I did, thank you.” You smile. “And no need to worry I won’t be waiting five hours for anyone without some kind of warming.”

Childe nods as he kisses the back of your hand. “You don’t deserve to wait they should be waiting for you instead.”

“Thank you for the consideration.” You roll your eyes trying to calm your swooning heart, there was no reason for you to be swept up in cheesy lines by a stranger.

Masterlist <-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-> next

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Triple Sec Book Review 🦇

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

❓ #QOTD What's your favorite drink (non-alcoholic or cocktail)? 🦇 Post-divorce, Mel is now a jaded bartender at Terror & Virtue; a swanky cocktail lounge in NYC that gives the bar staff little room for creativity. There, Mel meets Bebe; beautiful, funny, and all too enchanting. Oh, and Bebe's partner, Kade. Mel tries to put meeting the bubbly beauty out of her mind until Bebe makes a unique offer: she wants to take Mel on a date. So begins Mel's first steps into the polyamorous world, prompting Mel to open her long trampled-on heart. While Mel balances shifts and dates with Bebe, she contemplates entering a cocktail competition to turn the dream of opening her own bar into a reality. But what if it all becomes too much at once?

💜 So, TJ Alexander is now a new auto-buy, a new fave, a new literary love. There are some books you have to read for chapters and chapters before you fall into the voice, before you recognize the main character's tone and inflictions and moods. The essence of Mel, from that very page, is both familiar and foreign, as most bartenders are. That's what makes them easy to talk to. Alexander's word choice is easy and enthralling; a comfort. Each character lives off the page until they're telling the story alongside you, from Bebe's bubbly personality to Kade's soft stoicism. This book is so beautifully, unapologetically, and above all NATURALLY queer. It's as refreshing as the palomas Mel loves (hopefully, since I wouldn't know), smooth and citrusy, sparkling and fun. I'm sad that I had to reach the end, even though the story's ending quenched my thirst after a long drought of 'meh' reads.

💜 Alexander provides a healthy, comforting, realistic glimpse into the polyamorous world. Each amendment to the written agreement Mel and Bebe began with showed us Mel's development as she opened her heart a little bit more with each chapter. I adored Mel's reason that many people she already knew (including her own roommate and best friend) were in poly relationships. Even though it took Mel by surprise, the actual existence of these relationships was natural. Alexander provides so many small glimpses into this world, inviting readers to understand different dynamics and arrangements, but there are bigger themes at play that I wish we delved into more for Mel's sake. For example, the analogy that relationships are gardens we must tend to, less they wilt. While Mel decides to put more of an effort into her friendship with Daniel, we only see two small attempts (a brief conversation and her meeting Daniel's paramour).

💜 Mel's trip with Kade was everything, providing us with an opportunity to focus on Kade's microexpressions and inner workings. I honestly could have lived in that chapter far longer. Maybe we can get a prequel, with Kade and Bebe and Blue, from Kade's point of view? I understand too well, being the person who feels so, so much but doesn't always show it. The commentary on jealous, their reasoning behind Bebe calling them "wife," their reaction to Mel defending them when so many people misgendered them at the airport; everything. Kade's smallest gestures had the biggest impact, including their urging for Mel to TALK with them and Bebe instead of getting upset over a minor mistake. Communication is a big theme in this book, in the BEST way. Bebe and Kade urge Mel to process her thoughts and feelings, even when Mel tends to fight them. Again, a wonderful portrayal of a healthy relationship.

💙 As captivating as Alexander's voice and wordplay were, I feel like some moments were rushed through. We don't get much of a chance to linger on the development of the relationships, HOW the feelings came about, instead moving quickly from the first date to Mel's unexpected attachment to Bebe, then again from the snow trip to amending the agreement once to include Kade to eventually the final amendment. There was just a bit too much tell and not enough show for me. Also, can we get some of Mel's recipes, pretty please?

🦇 Recommended to fans of Casey McQuiston and Alexandria Bellefleur.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🍸 Delightfully Queer 🍸 Polyamorous Relationships 🍸 No Third-Act Breakup 🍸 Cocktail Competition 🍸 Contemporary Romance 🍸 Lesbian Protagonist / Sapphic Ship 🍸 Non-Binary Love Interest 🍸 Smut

🦇 Major thanks to the author and publisher for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #TripleSec

💬 Quotes ❝ "There’s a difference between feeling something and letting it consume you.” ❞ ❝ 'Just’ friends makes it sound like something lesser. Easier. I don’t think it is. It’s still a garden that needs tending, even if it’s growing something else. In some other season.” ❞ ❝ “Blue used all pronouns. They used to say it was the closest they could get to describing the infinite spirit inside them.” ❞ ❝ “You grow up, thinking, ‘If only I can find the one person I can be with for the rest of my life, if only I can get a house with a yard, as long as I am living the most normal, blameless life, then that will show ’em. You know? You think you have to tick all these boxes. That your relationship has to look a certain way. Even if you’re—no, especially if you’re queer. There’s so much pressure to do the right thing.” ❞ ❝ The boot shape of Italy stared back at her, reminding her of Pompeii. She had roots in a disaster zone; she’d been born into it. Maybe, instead of running from it, she could stand still, face the eruption, and embrace whatever came. ❞

[futurewriter2000]

12th August 2024

Adoration

I look at people with adoration. I look at them and I see- see beyond the physical exterior. It's impossible to word it but when you pay attention to the smallest of details; what somebody says or does not say, the quiet, oversaught gestures they make and how their eyes react to actions, words or movements, you see.

People tell me that my eyes are special. They always mention that my eyes smile at them- that is adoration- and that means that in that specific moment, I love you. It is then, your choice… your choice to make whether you want me to love you more, love you continuosly and further, to love you infinitely- like the world revolves around us. I will give you love, I will love (such a short yet strong word) when you are in the depths of hell or the hights of heaven- I will stand by you, protect you, take care of you and your soul. I will make you see the light in every corner, I will pull you on your feet when your knees are giving in… I love unconditionally but it all starts simply with adoration. I look at you with my eyes- smiling eyes because I realise at that moment how important you are to me, how gorgeous your soul is, how bright your future is. I look at you with my dark eyes and I decide that you are worth it.

Then you make a decision- YOU DO- whether you want to explore my love or not and you make it by loving me back. You make that decision by being by my side, by asking me simplest of questions- oh yes… I am not that needy or complicated. I am humble, therefore, I do not need much to survive, neither to show my love but I do need something. Not breadcrumbs, not one word, I need you to want me. For you to want me for me, not for my love- to need me not only when you are going through the depths of hell, but to want me by your side when you are in the hights of heaven. To hug me tightly, not because I said so, but because you missed me, because you love me or adore me. Sincerety.

When you don't experience that type of love from me, it is simply because you are giving me nothing… nothing at all. I've been through family, friends and lovers that had taken my love for granted, so I never showed it much- see, they simply didn't deserve to see it.

I see… and people do not understand that. Sure, I bring joy and light but oh, if you only knew how much love I can bring when you come correctly. Like a movie, you are the character that makes the story greater or you disappear as fast as you came and you make no impact. If readers read the book, they would go »So stupid of them to leave, I wouldn't.« but so would they because nobody sticks long enough to see beyond the physical exterior.

If you think you know me, you had seen only a small piece of me. Why? Because I am there for you and I see more of you but when it comes to the other way around, there is simply nobody there for me and I process my pain, my hurt and thoughts in private. My love is so great that I will listen to you, be there for you and try to make you happy when I am in so much pain that I am barely breathing, and when you are there and don't notice that, you make more pain than anybody. To sit side by side, I look at you with adoration because I love you but you don't look twice at me to notice the pain inside me. I carry a wound, a deep wound- so do other people. I know I am not the only one but you have a wound I'd take care for in a minute and I have a wound that hasn't been taken care of for years. Nobody asked, nobody cared because I am simply a joy to be around. I hide parts of me, a big, large parts of me that make me myself. I hide them because nobody deserves to see them and one of those large parts of me is also the love I can give. To protect, care for, hold, lift you up when you are low. I will be your biggest supporter, your life-long partner in everything- not necessarily in romance- simply to go through life together.

When there is silence from me… then you will get nothing more but a fleeting moment of adoration. That one, small moment of love but you will miss out on all the love I can give. I know my worth, I know my love, I know my power, I am simply the best thing in your life and if you decide to reject that, to walk away from that… you are the one that is missing out and I give all that love to myself. So I glow and I fly into the hights of the Universe- because that is love. Love is what Universe gives me. It holds me up, it shows me it's there and it doesn't give me everything but it gives me enough when it's enough.

You simply do not know the life you are missing on when you decide to not be by my side… because in my life… there is nothing but magic.

[redfoxline]

ao3 wrapped [reader edition]

Do you know how many works your read this year? Around 2021 according to my AO3 history

Longest work you read this year? Didn't check but Once Upon An Eclipse by LeeRyder is likely the longest (a Genshin Ragros fic I highly recomment)

Shortest work you read this year (not including art published on ao3)? Not a clue I'm too lazy to check the 101 pages of my history to find out.

Do you have any works you read that are between you and your web browser? Nope, I'm shameless.

Did anything you read make you cry? I can DEFINITELY name a few. Angst is so tasty.

What's your absolute favorite works you read this year? Once Upon An Eclipse (quoted above) and Interlude: tightrope ballet, a wonderful Genshin fic focusing on Collei's and Cyno's relationship by Lilith-writes (the 3rd installment of a series I HIGHLY recommend), Into Esthar (a running FFVIII SxS story) and naturally Et au matin se fâne, a fantastic KavehxAlhiatham story written in French that has stolen my heart.

Did you read through any authors entire works? I certainly did: Shakekp (French) and their beautiful Genshin stories and Hazel-Athena with their incredible (and massive) collection of ZoroxSanji stories in the One Piece fandom.

Pairing you read the most for? AlhaithamxKaveh

Favorite rare pair you read works for this year? Surprisingly I don't think I've read rarepairs this year?

Largest fandom you read for? Genshin Impact

Smallest fandom you read for? Sasaki To Miyano

Did you as a reader receive any works as gifts? Nope.

What trope do you think you read the most of? The Getting Together tope. I even filter my search with this tag! xD

Favorite AU you read this year? Modern AU

Favorite canon concept you read this year? I honestly don't have an answer to that question.

Were your comments coherent or mostly screaming? Both (both is good)

Did you leave any comments that had to be in more than one part? Dude, even with my best effort the AO3 comment section limit is HUGE so obvioulsy no.

How many works did you bookmark this year? Around 80.

Did you read any works published before this year? Of course! Commented on it too. <3

Did you download any works? Yes! I like downloading stuff to listen to them as I do m chores.

WIP's or completed works? Both (Both is still good!)

Category you read the most of? Hurt/Comfort

What time of day do you read the most during? Evenings.

Where do you read the most? At home

Do you read on your phone or on your computer? Both although I think I use my phone more.

Did you do any beta reading for anyone? Nope.

Do you listen to anything while reading? Yes, I like some music or ASMR sometimes.

Did any line/passage stick with you after you read it? I can't remember which fic it was, but I think it was a KavehxAlhaitham's fic where the author quoted an Arabic poem with the following: 'You ask me if I love her to death. Speak her name above my grave and watch me be brought back to life'. A shame I can't recall the poet's name.

Do you have any works you think are required reading for (fandom)? No. Reading is a hobby and being part of a fandom is not a job. You don't need to have read/watch any specific works to be part of the fun.

Biggest surprise for you as a reader this year? Une fleur en ce monde qui n'existe pas by Shakeskp. I've stopped reading in my maternal language ages ago, whether it is in fanfiction or published book, and finding this little gem reminded me how beautiful my own language could be, up to the point where I wrote a little thing in French myself (and enjoyed myself immensely).

[sovamurka]

As a person who read almost the entirety of 'Legends of Bubble' series I can say that it's bonkers how 'Dreamcatcher' is the smallest book in the series yet it's surprisingly the most important book for its original source.

'Demonslayer' has, like, 5 separate legends, two of them are fucking HUGE (with 'Yarkh. Step up' being the biggest) but 'Dreamcatcher' is the only one that actually ties the first and the second part of its source material and uses it cleverly. It's amazing.

I read this one with the expectation that it's a fanservice-y kind of comic book that could potentially explore the characters but have very little impact on the story as a whole. A story for a very specific audience, a story that could be just skipped. But nooooooo.

They went HARD on this one. Not only we learn more about Balor and Yana's relationship and how it's even more fucked up than we thought (the part where we learn how their first meeting actually happened and whose fault it was had me shooked), but we also learn what kind of plans they had for the future, we learn why they do what they do in Vol.2, we learn why and how the whole 'Satan in the knife' plot started.

But the craziest thing is that they basically spoil the entirety of Vol.2. I kid you not, the way they splattered small delicate details everywhere that you only notice and connect after you read the entirety of 'Demonslayer' is insane. It was not even a Chekhov's gun, it was straight up a Chekhov's cannon. And if after you read it for the first time you're like 'Well, that was fun, moving on!', on your second reading you experience something akin to the existential crisis mixed with five stages of grief. And if you decide to read 'Demonslayer' in its entirety again, thanks to this you'll see everything in a new light and cry over things you didn't cry about before! In fact, you'll finally understand things you didn't understand! You'll also be obliterated by the ending twice as hard this time!

And to this day it drives me crazy how all of this was done in just 114 pages.

[iamcompletelyrandom]

THIS!!! I remember reading this one fic that I got completely hooked on. Rereading over and over again, pouring over every line and downloading the fic to save it if it ever got deleted. I planned to bookbind it. It became my favorite fic ever. Just to talk about my love for this one fic, I became a serial commenter (writing long paragraphed ao3 comments to writers I enjoyed). That-- not to wax poetic, but. I remember being so completely obsessed that I would scramble as I would have no one to share the same love as I did. I would go to it's comment section (Which I had already taken up 10% of), try to recommend it to actual friends I knew, and just rereading the fic over and over again which never abated my love but instead strengthened it. But yet no matter how much I screamed it seemed like the whole world was blind-- that my voice would be the only one to understand the depths and nuances of this diamond in the rough.

It got to a point where this was a dire problem, that because of the fic being lesser known actively impeded how many people would know it. Allowing more people to discover it would be helpful, but I lacked any means or resources of doing so. I had no sort of platform, and singlehandedly recommending this fic one on one with other friends seemed futile, considering that the likelihood of someone developing a fixation and having it change their life as much as I is very slim. It seemed like the only safe haven was talking about this to another random ao3 obsessed fic reader on the whims of midnight, because at least that random stranger would have any idea of what I was talking about.

Then I finally got the first chance to meet the author for the first time. The first thing he said to me was "YOU" and then PMed me. He recognize my username and talked about how much he missed getting their emails spammed with comments from me at late midnight. This spanned into a long invested and very interesting conversation of multiple different AUs and spin off AUs that will likely never see the light of day but are entirely between me and him. Conversations that have now totaled more than 24 hours of talking. We both reached pin limit. One of my suggestions (supposedly) is going to be an actual plot point in future chapters. Sidestory upon sidestory of a make believe character that only exists in a fic that both of us are obsessed with. He is one of my dear friends now, and I am included in the will with updating the fic upon his (unlikely) demise.

Supposedly the real point of this story is to not be scared of taking risks. Fanfiction authors are just the same as other people around you. At the end of the day they are just humans who have such a love for a single work that they are willing to dedicate time and passion into it. If you do not scream then the world will never know. Silence is conformity-- it is accepting failure before you even try; and as soon as you get your words out there to the world, the more you become used to doing it in other parts of your life.

So try leaving comments. It doesn't hurt anyone, and the one time an author responds back will be a memorable time. Sometimes the smallest of words can have the biggest impact to another person's heart.

Everytime I see posts like this I get filled with such profound sadness

Cause you know who has the same brainrot as you? The same unhinged feelings as you after you've read the fic? The person who always wants to scream about the fic with you?

THE PERSON WHO WROTE IT

I never used to leave comments but since I got into the habit of commenting on everything i enjoy it's been incredible. Especially when the author gets back to me about it and we get to have a discussion of what other ideas they had. One writer replied to my comment with a 5 paragraph essay detailing the Floorplan of the building the characters lived in and it was incredible

Anyways this is all to say that if you find a fic that just makes you want to scream from the rooftops, leave a comment saying that to the author and maybe they will join you and you can scream incoherently together

[ubellestore]

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[friendsfmpodcast]

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