#funny writer stories

[pretensesoup]

Did a reading for the novel on Saturday night. I was in Madison, which is fine, and there were a bunch of Madison old-timers in the audience.

So. Most of the time when people write historical fiction, they change the names of the businesses they mention. You don't have to, as I understand it, but businesses can get cross if you don't. But in many cases, I...didn't. At least for the ones that aren't there anymore, I figured what was the harm? No one gets murdered in any of the restaurants, and no one was gonna read the novel anyway except @tryxyhijinks, so why not use the actual names? But there are also some business names I made up.

Anyway, the book opens at a dive bar called Lorenzo's Lounge. That was the section I read. Afterward, an older gent came up to me and said, "You mentioned Lorenzo's Lounge. That brought back some memories."

I said, "I bet," while thinking to myself, "I made that one up though."

Then I started to think, did I? So I googled it.

Nope. I didn't make that up.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

if I had to see this while I literally was writing and being distracted by instagram (and now by tumblr since I am posting this instead of writing), y’all shall suffer the same fate

[whatsupmykentuckyfriedfuckers]

I'm gonna write a story about an asexual vampire who just steps right into the sun because they can't eat garlic bread anymore.

[dicenete]

So what if he didn't have the self-discipline? I just thought how cute it is, he simping for MC so hard. Amount of self-control Clavis has is admirable. I think this was from Beast in Heat event? Or maybe it was the AU event where Clavis was a phantom thief? Don't remember anymore xd IkePri Tag Team:

@scummy-writes @goustmilk @solacedeer @m-mmiy @mxrmaid-poet

@pawnkyyy @ludivineikewolf @violettduchess @floydsteeth @wistfulwanderingone

@sh0jun @lorei-writes

[heavenlyraindrops]

Academic Rivals to Lovers prompts

Constantly fighting each other for the top spot on leaderboards

entering the same academic competitions

heated arguments during class debates full of tension

Fighting over the same book that they need in the library

fighting over the same secluded spot to relax/ study in

studying in the library reading until super late, they’re the only people left, seated deliberately far away from each other as they lose track of time. And then they get locked in cause the librarian/ caretaker locked up the place for the night forgetting to check if there was anyone left inside.

when the bickering and fighting in classes get so bad that the teacher yells at them and makes them clean out the classroom together after class as punishment

secretly admiring each other for their intelligence/ grades

forced to tutor someone together by the teacher

A is lacking a subject B is good at, teacher makes B tutor A (or vice versa)

glaring at each other or bumping into each other on purpose in the hallways

Ends up joining the same club, too passionate about it to leave

alternatively, they’re both on the debate team and get in heated arguments during practice

forced to take the same route back home after school

stuck on a group project together and end up carrying the team

alternatively, fighting for leadership/ control within the group

alternatively (again), paired together (instead of a group) and fighting with each other over details and nitpicking each other’s work

forced to sit next to each other in class/ be lab partners for the rest of the term

forced to correct/ grade/ review or look at each other’s work

taking a class test next to each other, A is struggling with a question, B surprisingly helps them

[simsim54]

achilles: i'm going to flirt with patroclus and make advances on him by pushing him on the bed and rubbing my nose against his patroclus: kisses him achilles: running away .... i did not think this through

[redvioletarts]

[Image ID: A photo of an 11oz black coffee mug with a custom design in white lineart and hand-lettered text. It says "Dear FBI" in large print over art of an Internet search bar with suggested previous searches below. The text in the search bar says "I'm A Writer I Swear" in all caps, and the previous searches read "detect gps tracker on car," "arsenic lethal dose," and "black market prices for..." with the rest of the text cut off. End ID.]

Lines printed up great on this one! The text came out nice and clear.

Writing research got you looking sketchy lately? Throw the Feds off your trail by also buying this. Guaranteed to not get you investigated for your weird search history. Probably. ...Well, it won't hurt.

(Maybe you should get a VPN in any case.)

The design prints up on both sides, to be fair to the lefties for once. All my mugs do.

Dear FBI, I'm A Writer I Swear <- get yours!

[sp7-mr]

[purplebehittindifferent]

Hope y’all have got some kromer or this call might be pretty short.

masterpost

prev (ch:3::2) / next (ch:3:4)

(a quick thanks to my beta reader @prunpplee)

[companion-showdown]

Who had the worst time aboard the TARDIS?

TOURNAMENT MASTERPOST

[atalana]

we can talk about buy gold bye all day but in retrospect this is my favourite bill moment from dreamscaperers, because he is having One Of The Days Ever

like you get summoned back to gravity falls for the first time in thirty years, already an excellent start (it is good to be back!)

and to make it even better, you know that one human you had every kind of relationship at once with and whose mind you know inside out but then he realised your true plans and tried to break up with you so you spent several weeks torturing him and now he's been MIA for said thirty years? of the all the jobs this random kid could possibly want from you, you're being hired to go break into his mind and steal from him

(been there done that kid!)

except plot twist! they don't actually mean that guy. they mean his identical twin brother who's been assuming his identity since then

and we get to watch bill have the realisation in real time that not only has he just worked out exactly what happened, he is the only person other than stan himself who has enough information to do so!

(this should be fun)

[phoenixcatch7]

Always love when you go to write down an idea you've had circulating in the back of your mind for months, only for the plot to come out like

strong opening scene

follow up to get the plot moving

???????

Really cool bit you've been daydreaming of for weeks!!!!

???????

Climax scene you thought up a week ago

?????? Resolution??????

Profit

[writingpromptsworld]

Prompt #72

“Let’s not fight today, let’s chill.” The hero had said an hour ago, and the villain was puzzled. Baffled, more so. But they agreed to do exactly that.

Now they were sitting in the villain’s apartment, playing video games that the hero was great at for reasons the villain did not know. They were too shocked, their mouth agape.

How could the hero be good at physical combat and digital combat? “Is this what you meant by not fighting? This?” The villain scowled, raking a hand through their hair frustratedly. They kept loosing. Damn it.

“Was in the mood to show off a little.” The hero grinned, throwing them a thumbs up.

The villain groaned, taking deep breaths to calm themself. They took a sip of their drink. “One more round.”

The hero laughed. “You’ll still loose.”

“Shut up.” The villain grumbled, secretly enjoying the way the hero was teasing them.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Ok, I think I have a pretty good idea of why a lot of Akechi's dialogue is... like that.

So, even before his confidant truly started, I noticed that he has a real knack for directing the flow of a conversation. This is very fitting for someone who is both a detective and skilled at interviews - when there is a topic and a goal, Akechi is in his element.

All this to say, he's actually kind of controlling when it comes to conversational flow. He probes for information, or turns the conversation around to a particular topic, usually the Phantom Thieves. He manages to take a few of Joker's dialogue options and spin them so they sound mildly incriminating in the context he's placed them in - the only way to truly get around this is to pick answers that feign indifference, and even then, that's more than a bit telling. He's clearly very good at this kind of thing.

But then, we get conversations where either Joker does something he didn't expect, or else he doesn't have a particular goal in mind - and the conversation stutters. In the first instance, Joker does something (a particularly egregious example is putting his glasses on him and fluffing his hair in rank 3) which both leaves him wrong-footed and no longer in perfect control of the situation. He just kind of... freezes, for awhile. It's hilarious. He has no idea how to respond.

He picks up control again in the phone call afterwards, having chosen to play into it, turning this "fooling the crowds" into a kind of game or secret between them. Nice save.

But in instances where there isn't an obvious topic and the goal is somewhat nebulous, for instance, that one Leblanc scene, it becomes pretty apparent that Akechi doesn't have the right "script" to go off of. Again, it's particularly notable in that scene, because I'm fairly sure he didn't have any specific reason to be at Leblanc, other than him looking for a quiet spot now that public opinion has turned on him. And because there isn't anything specific he's digging for, he kind of just ends up throwing things at the wall to see what will stick. Probing for any kind of recognizable reaction that he can jump on and work with, and that just doesn't really happen in this scene.

He references Sae, a woman in a respectable position, to Sojiro, but instead of that netting a welcome, it earns his ire, given Sae's recent actions against him. He then tries to greet Joker, his... rival? friend? enemy? person who at least seems to somewhat enjoy spending time with him? But Joker's responses are somewhat short, and Akechi practically wilts. He tries to commiserate by oversharing. He tries to involve Futaba and reaches out for the only topic of interest he can think of around "young people". He compliments the coffee. He compliments Joker. He tries to invoke that connection between them. None of it is really sticking, nor does it serve as a jumping off point for him to steer the conversation, or even really start one.

So, he basically just ends up having a one-sided chat with himself and then leaves. Hilarious. Also a little sad, if I'm being honest. It's really giving "guy with no friends who only knows how to speak to adults" energy. If there's no specific purpose to the exchange, or he is not in control of its direction, he seems to be kind of out of his depth. He succeeds only in being a little awkward and confusing, more than anything.

[piosplayhouse]

Absolute favorite twitter level discourse is when people are like "yaoi is bad because it's created by women which makes it evil and fetishizing, but bara is good because it's made by gay men for gay men" as if the creator of bara wasn't one of Japan's most famous alt-right hyper-nationalistic conservatives and also porn writer on the side who trained and maintained his own personal militia to enact a failed coup on the modernizing government in 1970 and then proceeded to publicly commit suicide after because he had a fetishistic obsession with ritual disembowelment

[simsim54]

Patroclus: What do we tell ourselves when we start to feel sad? Achilles: My sadness is fictitious and my booty is delicious Patroclus: NO