#funny christian memes

[echologname]

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?” “Oh, I don't know.” Said the atheist, “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell or no life after death.” As he smiled smugly. “OK.” She said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first: a horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff, grass, yet a deer excretes little pellets while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmm, I have no idea.” To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell or life after death when you don't know shit?”

From this Instagram audio: https://www.instagram.com/reels/audio/1133902734384935/

[meowixen]

Thinking about this

[bebx]

Behold!! Moo Deng, the famous baby pygmy hippo from Khao Kheow zoo in Thailand

Sources: thecinesthetic & shirtsthtgohard on X/Twitter

[socialistjesus]

(via Funny Socialist Christian Leftist Tax Billionaires Tote Bag - Etsy)

[troythecatfish]

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[this-is-macy]

If there's one thing about Jack Kelly—the man will fight some laundry just before having a romantic conversation with a pretty woman on a rooftop.

[beauty-funny-trippy]

The vast majority of Republicans support Christianity in theory, but not in practice. They don't want to actually live by the teachings of Jesus. They believe that merely declaring themselves to be a Christian makes them a Christian. But by supporting Donald Trump, a man whose values are in close alignment with Putin and Pontius Pilate, Republicans have given us proof that they are only pretending to follow Jesus.

Trump has trampled on Jesus' virtues of being Kind, Honest and Humble. Instead, Trump has replaced them with Vengeance, Lies and Vanity. He rejects Jesus' philosophy of compassion. Instead, Trump prefers to greet immigrant neighbors with Razor Wire, and disgraces himself by ironically calling them inhuman "animals."

Trump's values are the complete opposite of Jesus' values. True Christians see Trump clearly and are appalled. But Fake Christians have covered their ears to the truth and closed their minds to reason — convinced, by the strength of their own gullibility, that they have found a new savior.

Republicans could have chosen any other GOP candidate. But instead, Fake Christians chose the most fake Christian they could find.

There are really only two possibilities as to why conservative "Christians" would support Trump over other GOP candidates:

• either, they are completely unaware of what Jesus actually taught, ...or...

• they are aware of His teachings, but choose to ignore Jesus anyway — preferring instead to embrace Trump's conceited self-worship and mean-spirited way of life. Thus, Republican "Christians" have, themselves, become the hypocrites and fake followers Jesus warned us about.

[godsfavoritedumpsterfire]

[tyxaar]

Idea for all you pagans and witches out there: If you get Jehovah’s Witnesses or Mormons or those sorts knocking at your door, instead of politely turning them away, don on your most witchy, out-there, non-christian-friendly accessories and attire and open the door.

Be cheerful and welcoming! Say you’re more then open to chat about spirituality, take their pamphlets, try to show them any books of your own you have, hell, even invite them inside for a cup of tea by your altar to Odin.

I don’t know how it’ll go down, but I’m almost certain the interaction will be funny af.

[echologname]

I have a tiny chef who tells me what to do

Oh Holy Spirit, please be my tiny chef and tell me what to do because everything I want to do ends up not working out well for me.

[cb-reblog]

[outsideyourhousewithaknife]

Some people have guilty pleasures like watching Love Island or eating an entire cake. Mine, however, is pretending not to know anything about Christianity. Jesus? Oh, yeah, I've heard of him. He's that twink on billboards, but I'm not sure what they're advertising, since they always just say "he's coming". Huh? Mary Magdalene? Isn't that the lady with snake-hair who turns you to stone? Well, why would I know anything about that stuff? Look, all I know about Christianity is that the devil parted the Red Sea and Jesus put some dude on a cross.

In all fairness, I did grow up in a very white, very Protestant area where I was always the only (vaguely) Jewish kid, and, when I told people that I was (sorta kinda) Jewish, I got reactions ranging from "isn't the Jewish Santa purple?" to "you're going to burn in hell" to "oh, I thought we killed all of you, lol," so by Yahweh, I have a fucking score to settle.

[im-what-killed-the-dinosaurs]

[coolchaosperfection]

Stella (worried) : Please don't do it!

Ava (annoyed): Josh don't be a fool! He'll kill you.

Jules (excited as hell) : Don't be a coward. Do it!

Rhys (smiling wide): Go ahead, Do it!

Bridget (glaring at Rhys): Not nice Rhys.

Josh (with a wicked gleam in his eyes): About to slap a sleeping Christan

Alex (on the edge of his seat): I'll pay you. Do it!

Josh five seconds later,

Hiding behind Stella and calling Christan every name while he runs after him with a gun in his hand

[thinkspam]