#fuck i love these two so fucking much holy shit
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merry christmas, please dont call. (e.w) ❆
⁺₊❆⋆ ୨⎯ merry christmas, im not yours at all. merry christmas, please dont call. ⎯୧ ⁺₊❆⋆
pairings: ex!ellie x ex!oc/reader
synopsis: an involuntary trip back to your hometown brings back unwanted memories of the girl who broke your heart years before. when youre met with her unexpectedly, you have to decide wether or not to pursue her, or give her a taste of her own medicine. or maybe both.
wc: 6.7k (SMUT; ellie eats pussy then yall ✂️✂️.. angst, cheating, crying, slight comfort but no happy ending, reader is an offputting bitch who cries alot. joel and DINA mention!!!!!! the words and and you are used alot.. oc is shorter than ellie & has hair.)
MERRY CHRISTMAS DYKES IN MY PHONEEE !!! ilysm! im so excited to post this holy fucking shit shyt. interact i beg u. reblogs and comments are encouraged i loveee talking to you guys sm!!! 🫵🏼 come ttm and ill talk back! heavily inspired by my twin @coeurify !! i suggest you go read ttds 1 before reading this!
Christmas of freshman year Ellie bought you a bouquet of red and yellow flowers, you cried.
Christmas of sophomore year she burned you a cd with your shared playlist on it. She titled it ‘our songs” and you cried.
The next year she wrote you a song, it was truly beautiful. it made you cry.
Christmas of senior year was different. That year, your parents decided to use the break to visit universities and then stay at a nearby family member's house for the holiday. Before you left Ellie managed to gift you a shiny heart pendant with her initial carved onto the front and a picture of you two glued to the inside. you cried, hugged her, and told her you loved her.
The Christmas before you left for university Ellie broke up with you. This was the hardest you cried in five years.
So much for a Merry Christmas.
That was two years ago. you haven’t been back to your hometown since then, simply because you knew you couldn’t bear to face her. Going back to Jackson meant running into Ellie, and you weren’t ready for that.
until now, apparently.
your dearest mother had called you and told you that if you didn’t come back this year all your shit was going to the goodwill. Maybe Ellie wasn’t the only reason you avoided your hometown.
So here you were, driving the sickly long drive to the closest place to hell on earth. you had to stop four times because your tears were blurring your vision. when you were finally met with the “Welcome to Jackson” sign, you threw up in your mouth. your driveway mocked you as you sat in your car attempting to collect yourself. you contemplated turning around, driving back to campus and telling your mom to burn your stuff for all you care. But, you didn’t. it was late and you needed sleep. so you pulled your keys out of the ignition, grabbed your belongings and made your way to the front door. your parents greeted you with tights hugs and uncomfortable small talk.
“How’s school, sweetheart?” your mom asked, your dad sneaking off to bring your bags to your old bedroom. “its school.” you kept you answers curt. not trying to engage in useless conversation at this hour. your mom picked up on your exhaustion and excused you with a tight lipped smile. the second you entered your room you regretted the entire trip. she was everywhere. pictures of you kissing on your dresser, her hoodies in your closet and of course, her initial still around your neck, above your heart.
you walked around the room, your cheeks already wet with tears. you picked up a photo that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw out when it ended. it was you and ellie snuggled up on dina’s couch, taken by her of course. you both looked so peaceful. the photo began to blur as the tears really started to fall. your legs gave out underneath you, causing you to fall against the wall. it was like a scene from a movie, a pathetic one at that.
You couldn’t remember exactly when you had fallen asleep, but it was late. you woke up in a fetal position on the floor, with an old picture of you and Ellie held tightly to your chest. your poor back..
the morning was still, your parents were still sleeping when you woke up, something you were very much grateful for considering the amount of questions you knew were to come your way when they did finally wake up. you set the picture back in its place hesitantly.
the lower level of your house was cold, the cold floors hitting your feet woke you up as you made your way to the kitchen. almost immediately upon arrival you decided that your mothers coffee brand wouldn’t do. she always bought the gross nutmeg flavoured creamer.
coffee shop in town it is!
you always hated ben’s, the coffee was mediocre at best and priced at a whopping seven dollars, but it would suffice for today. at least until you could get to the grocery store. the walk was short, thank god. you grabbed your jacket and scarf from the hook and made your way out the door. you were surprised, but relieved that you hadn’t had the misfortune of running into anyone you used to know.
The cafe had a welcoming atmosphere that you knew all too well, yet grew to despise. you ended up hating most parts of this town, the tight knit community, the overpriced coffee, everything. then you left. in your final days of staying in jackson, it was like you were gasping for air. then finally after you had gone to university, you could breathe again.
“Is that who I think it is?!” the cashier beamed from their place behind the counter. you could recognize that voice anywhere. the voice of riley abel, a girl you had gone to school with. she was voted most likely to move far away after grad, how ironic.
‘Hey, riley. how are you?” you asked as you walked up to the counter, trying your absolute best to sound interested. you zoned out as she rambled on about her life.
you picked at your fingernails while she spoke, her voice a distant muffle. you didn’t want to be rude and tell her to shut up, but damn this girl couldn’t talk.
“Anyways, how are you? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!” she smiled and you couldn’t meet her eyes. “I’m doing fine.” she took your awkward answer as a hint and switched the subject. small talk should be banned.
“So what can i get for you?” she asks, typing away at the ipad on the counter. you contemplated for a moment before answering. you skimmed the menu for the cheapest option that didn’t taste like shit.
“I’ll get a medium french vanilla, please.” you grab your phone from your pocket, opting for apple pay instead of cash. she gives you a small, forced smile. “your total is eight dollars and twenty-five cents. cash or card?” your eyes widen at the price. “card, please.” she nods and passes you the pin pad. you gently tap your phone on the top of it as she begins to make your coffee.
A few minutes pass before riley calls you back up to the counter. she handed you a small cup with your name written on the side, along with a small smiley face. you thanked her and smiled at her small act of kindness.
your walk home is longer, many of the places you used to frequent, bustling with people that you could recognize by face. you almost stopped a few times, pausing and staring into oblivion. you never had the guts to actually enter though.
when you arrived back home you parents were sitting around the dining table, your dad, fairly engaged in the newspaper greets you with a smile. your mother doesnt look up from her phone until you speak. “Saw riley at bennys.” she hums and looks you up and down, it was like no matter where you went there was some weird tension in the air.
“You couldn’t have made coffee at home?” she snarks, tipping her glasses off her nose. “Just wanted some fresh air.” you reply nervously, not wanting to be fighting with her already. clearly your attempts worked because she stopped there. you swallowed the lump in your throat and retreated to your room.
you weren't sure what you were going to occupy yourself for these two weeks, packing up all the shit you wanted wouldn't take more than a few hours. you contemplated just taking your belongings and going back but you knew your mom would disapprove with that idea.
you decided that the most worthwhile decision for now would be to resume your place in a current book you were reading, a silly romcom you were gifted by your roommate before you came home. at least until your mother asked you to help her bake some cookies, or run to target for some last minute christmas gifts.
six chapters in and you were finally starting to get into it when you get a text. a text from Dina, a close highschool friend. you tried to stay in contact after you left, but the relationship fizzled out into short happy birthdays, and merry christmases.
D-Dawg💘
Hey! i heard from riley that you're back for break, we all miss you.
You laugh at the corny name you assigned to her contact in high school, the name had blossomed after a drunk comment from jesse, comparing her to a dog simply because of her big brown eyes.
D-Dawg💘
were having a little get together tonight, if you’re up to it you should come by. you're always welcome.
you decided to ignore the message for now, you weren't really up for the whole forced small talk that came with seeing all your old friends again. as far as you knew they were all still hanging out, everyday, without you. instead you decided to resume your place in your book, hoping to find some sort of entertainment in it.
you’re in the middle of chapter twelve of your book, Wes and Liz had just gotten into an accident in the rain when your mom calls you down stairs. you trot down the stairs, phone in hand. when you arrive, you stick on the last step, the wooden floors still cold. you're greeted with your mother in her signature bird print apron.
“Did you wanna help me with the baking, or were you just gonna sulk in your room all break?” she asks. you clear your throat and step down the last step. you shove your phone into your hoodie pocket, “Yeah ill help, i’d love to.”
“Babe, get your damn fingers outa the cookie dough!” ellie laughs as she grabs your wrist, pulling you out of the batter. you had forced her into baking with you after you saw a stupid couples tiktok. “Relax, its just us eating them anyway.” you defend, you even noticed your precious girlfriend sneaking chocolate chips from the bowl once in a while.
“Yeah, well i don't play about my christmas cookies.” she puts her hands on her hips and glares at you jokingly. you giggle at her actions. “We can tell, fatty.” you joke, her eyes widen and her jaw drops. “What did you just say!?” her slack jaw turning into a toothy smile quickly.
“Nothin’ i didn't say nothin’” you laugh and turn back to shaping the cookies. she steps closer to you and places her hands on either sides of your hips. “Well, thats weird. cause’ I definitely heard something.” she starts moving her fingers in slow circles over your pj pants, her lips meeting your neck slowly.
“hell, ellie. why are you the horniest woman on the planet.” you drop your final cookie onto the tray and turn around to face her, her hands now moving to the sides of your face. “Not my fault I have the prettiest girlfriend ever.” she states, matter of factly. her lips now kissing your own, causing you to smile against her. you move your hands to the back of her neck, slowly twirling with the back of her hair. you both giggle against each others lips, “I love you” you whispered against her. “i love you too, baby.”
the soft moment was interrupted by the oven beeping, signaling it was time to finally bake the cookies. she pulls her hands off of your hips and reaches for the pan, nodding at you to open the oven. “Careful, don't burn yourself.” you open the oven door enough for her to slip the tray in without accidentally knocking her hand against the wall and giving herself third degree burns (again)
you both high five once the cookies were in the oven baking. “i think we make a pretty good team!” you say as you turn the tap on to wash the dough off your hands. “Hell yeah we do, baby!” ellie shouts, smacking your ass. you laugh loudly at her antics. “Ouch ellie!” you cry, pulling a towel off the counter to dry off your hands. she rolls her eyes at your exaggeration.
“Sorry, babe. want me to kiss it better?”
“Will you shut up?”
Baking cookies with your mother was a stressful, if not brutal experience. she was a bossy, nitpicky perfectionist. it was like you could never do anything right with her, everything had to be 100% perfect. she would argue that you weren't trying or you didn't care, but you did. if anything you cared too much.
“I told you to do it like this! not whatever you're doing.” she scolded and nearly ripped the bowl from your hands, demonstrating how she really wanted it done. you throw your hands in the air, “I am, fuck!” you whisper yelled in frustration. your mother abruptly dropped the bowl onto the counter. “Don't you swear at me!” she pointed her pointer finger in your face.
“Oh my god.” you mumbled under your breath. you brought two of your fingers to your temples and squeezed tightly, trying to calm yourself down. “What is your problem?!” your mother crossed her arms as she yelled. “I cant fucking- I cant do this! this is exhausting!” you quickly untied your apron and tossed it on the counter. throwing yourself up the stairs. your mother followed behind you.
“If I'm so exhausting then why don't you pack your shit and get out of my house, huh?!” she shouted, grabbing onto your arm, you pulled it away from her. “Because! you asked me to come! i thought we could've had a normal christmas for once!” by now you had salty tear drops racing down your cheeks, it wasn't pretty.
“well i shouldn't have. so that was my mistake.” she stops on the stairs when she says this. your heart stops for a moment when she says this. the tears come harder when you slam your door shut and lock it.
right now you felt like you were a teenager again, petty arguments with your mom is when you needed ellie the most, you would hop out your window and run to her house. she welcomed you with open arms and told you how much she loved you. she would hold you for hours and whisper praises into your ears while you cried.
But right now, at this moment you couldn't do that, because there was no more ellie.
After scream sobbing into your pillow like an angry child, you fell asleep.
you woke up with a throbbing headache and the need for water. you also woke up to a few unread messages from a few of your friends from highschool.
Jesseee
Hey, r u coming tn? dina said she invited u but u didn’t answer. We miss U
smartass (derogatory)
hi its abby! heard ur in town
smartass (derogatory)
we should hangout before you leave!
you sighed and glanced up at the time. 8:04pm. you had two options, go pack to sleep, or stay up and wallow in self pity. or-
D-Dawg💘
were having a little get together tonight, if you’re up to it you should come by. you're always welcome
hii dina, i’d love to see you! what time does it start? :)
D-Dawg💘
8! didnt think u were gonna reply! but def come by!
her reply came fairly quick. you glanced up at the time on your phone, 6;00. you could work with that. two hours to make sure you look good, just in case you see.. she who shall not be named. you pulled your suitcase out from under your bed. you rummaged for a few minutes until you were met with the one dress you brought with you because you knew your parents had some stupid family dinner planned for christmas day. the dress was modest, classy but not too fancy. next was your makeup makeup bag. you decided to keep your makeup simple too, so you looked good, but not like you were trying to look good.
you brought your makeup bag to the bathroom and started the shower. you usually tried to be quick with your showers considering you were using the only bathroom in the house. you let the warm water hit the back of your neck. for a while, you just sat. sat and stared at the wall. the longer you did this though, the higher your anxieties got. finally, after your neck started to burn from the water, you got on with your business, scrubbing your skin raw and washing your hair as quick as you could. you might be a little late..
after an hour and four almost-breakdowns you had gotten your hair to cooperate. you knew your makeup wouldn’t take long to get done so you before you started you checked your phone. no new notifications from anyone except dina, a simple follow up text of “it will be fun, i promise.” you debated asking her to confirm your fears of ellie’s attendance. maybe knowing would calm you just a bit.
Is she gonna be there?
please be honest.
D-Dawg 💘
she was invited, im not sure if she’ll show up though.
D-Dawg💘
Please don’t stress over this though. its been so long.
im aware, but its still scary
plus you’re all still friends. im not really part of
that anymore.
D-Dawg💘
maybe you guys could talk about it?
i can’t do that. you know i can’t
i will literally die.
likr
my life will end.
D-Dawg💘
sighs loudly…..
fine. but if she comes you
aren’t irish goodbying out my back door.
…
MAYBE.
see u soon -_-
you turned up your music and then shut off your phone, leaving it face down on the counter as you began your makeup. you gently hummed along with the lyrics as the soft brushes worked over your skin. the delicate touches reminding you of ellie’s gentle fingers tracing soft shapes into your cheeks as you slept in her arms. she was never scared to hold you, to tightly pull you into her body and keep you warm.
by the time you had finished your makeup and wiggled into your dress, it was 7:45. the drive to dinas wasn’t long and you didn't want to get there early and be left to awkwardly wait around for everyone else to arrive. so you decided to scroll on your phone to pass the time.
at 8:12 you pulled into dina’s driveway and immediately noticed the differences in her home. the christmas decorations were no longer over the top, and the driveway was shoveled neatly. dina had told you to just let yourself in when you arrived. your hand shook with anxiety as you reached the doorknob. you took one last deep breath and entered the house.
“Bitch, you’re unseasoned chicken.” are the first words you hear as you shut dinas door. you easily recognize jesses voice, throwing insults at abby over a heated card game.
“yikes.” you say, heads turn in your direction. you awkwardly laugh at the group reaction. “I told you she was coming, you dummies.” Dina shouted, her voice booming from the kitchen as she walked over to you, pulling you into a firm embrace.
you scanned the room for any sign of ellie. well, there were many things that could be considered signs of ellie around the house. like the homemade ornaments on dina’s tree. you had all had a sleepover one night in sophomore year and decided to create little hand painted ornaments for fun. ellie’s was a painting of the four of you as stick figures, yours and ellie’s had a big red heart painted over the top of their heads.
the memories flooded in as you stared down the tree, to anyone else this probably would’ve looked really weird, but your friends new. jesses voice interrupts your thoughts, you tore your eyes from the tree to look at him.
“she hasn’t shown up yet.”
and she never did.
Ellies absence didn't make the night any better, however. you hoped it would but it didn't. you were still bombarded with questions that you weren’t quite sure how to answer. dina had probably asked you about a thousand times to just talk to her! but you refused. you were not about to start up a conversation with your ex like nothing had happened between you two. especially when it was her shitty actions, not yours.
you didn't regret going but by the time it was time for you to leave you were happy to do so, your friends bargained with you to stay the night like the rest of them but you politely declined. you did promise to see then all properly before you headed back to campus, though. stating that a proper hangout was long overdue.
after you had said your goodbyes dina had offered to walk you out to your car, you told her you would be fine but she persisted.
“So, ellie texted me.” she slowed to a stop with her arms crossed. you sighed and turned around to face her, leaning your body against your car. “Do i even wanna know?” you roll your eyes. dina steps closer to you, joining you against the hood of your car. dina chuckles, trying to recall ellie’s exact words. “said she wanted to talk, she sounded apologetic” she looks up at you. scanning your face for any emotions.
“Dina-“
“Please, just listen.” she interrupts, “i miss my best friends, everyone misses you guys. nothings been the same since.” her voice going from firm and loud, to a shaky whisper. you sighed.
“I know, D. this is hard for me too. you’d think it would've gotten easier to be here, in this town but its not. i feel like i can’t breathe.” dina nods in understanding. you softly sniffle, the cold air makes your face tighten. the both of you stay silent for a while. dina knew there was more to be said, but she didn’t want to push you.
“I’m sorry.” dina looks back up at your face, her voice now held a panicked tone. you close your eyes, throwing up your hand in a worn out manner, “It’s fine-
“But its not! you’re my best fucking friend. and even though it felt like shit when you just- up and ghosted us, i understand why.” she she paused for a moment, moving her body from beside you to standing in front of you, mirroring you. “And i understand if you never wanna see ellie again, but i missed you so bad, so fucking bad.” at this point shes crying, fat tears run down her cheeks. you coo and bring her into your arms.
”oh dina, if anything i should be the one apologizing.” the shorter woman sobs into your shoulder. you both cried into each other like a cheesy soap opera. this was the one thing you missed about being in jackson. “i missed you so much”
The sound of your doorbell reverberated across your house, “ill get it!” you ran so fast to the door that you had tripped over your own feet a few times. you opened the door to reveal ellie and joel behind it. a small smile growing on her face when it was in fact you who opened the door and not your mother.
“You look pretty” she says as she walks in,you thank her with a small kiss on the cheek. “Merry Christmas!” you greet joel quickly before he retreats to the kitchen, probably to drink wine and gossip with your parents. “I like your sweater.” you look her up and down, gesturing to the wool sweater that adorned her figure.
“Oh thanks, My girlfriend got it for me!” she says sarcastically, you roll your eyes at her stupid joke. “Yeah, I know.” you grab her by the wrist and tug her up the stairs to your bedroom. you shuffled her into your room and quickly shut the door behind you.
“Would you care to see your gift?” you asked, in a pretend seductive voice. she nodded persistently and shot you a toothy grin. “Perfect!” you clap your hands together and open up your closet, retrieving a small red box with a big green ribbon wrapped around the top.
you couldn’t contain your excitement when you handed her the gift, your body was seen to be vibrating in its place. “C’mon, ellie! openitopenitopeni-“ you ramble, basically throwing the box at her. “Okay! Okay! Slow down, babe.” you both sit down on the bed, you place your arms on her shoulders. at this point you were seething in excitement.
“Holy fuck.. you didnt.” her eyes practically shoot out of her head, staring at the object in the box, a white envelope sticking out from underneath. she turns to you shocked.
“How did you even-” she grabs the walkman and few tapes out of the box. you shrug, “Antique stores are great places.” she puts the cassette into the device, the one that you were able to get your dad to burn your playlist into. the others being the smashing pumpkins and nirvana.
“Do you love it?” she doesnt answer, instead throwing herself onto you, holding you tightly. holding fistfuls of your sweater, your wrap your arms around her and kiss her forehead. “I knew you would!”
after fiddling with the foreign object for a few minutes ellie figures out how to turn it on and off, she passes you one of the wired headphones and slips the other into her own ear. The polices ‘Every breath you take’ begins playing into your singular headphone. ellie added it to your joined playlist because she swears its the song that plays every time she looks at you. How corny.
You two sit for a few moments, just listening to the lyrics.
I’ll be watching you
(every breath you take)
(every move you make)
you suddenly feel her looking at you, you turn your head to meet her gaze. her eyes were practically hearts, she looked so smitten. you smile at her and lay your head completely onto the bed and ellie sits up, careful to not disconnect the headphones from your ears. “what’re you doing?” you asked in a hushed tone. she shakes her head, “Just looking at you.” her face shifts from soft admiration to something different. then suddenly, her lips are slotted in between your own.
(every single day)
(every word you say)
she gently rubs her hand up and down your side as she moves her lips against yours, your hand making its way to the side of her face. you sighed into her mouth and gently moved your arm around to the back of her neck. your legs tangled together effortlessly when she pulls away from you. “I love you.” she whispers, you look up at her, your faces almost touching. “I love you too.” you almost moan when she dips her head back down to continue kissing you.
I’ll be watching you
That Christmas ended up being the night that you took each others virginity and tried to hide it from your nosy parents, who of course, noticed right away but didn't say anything.
Your mother and father left early in the morning to go see some of your extended family, you planned to go meet them later in the day so for now you were left by yourself to wait. you anxiety was high, but the hard part was almost over. after your dinner with your family you could shove all your things into your trunk and leave. you'd be back in the comfort of your apartment before December 26th.
For most of the afternoon you found yourself lazing around, watching movies that you've seen a thousand times before. you sigh to yourself, glancing over at the clock which reads 5:00. you decide to start getting ready.
you had just finished your makeup, your hair still tied up and your body clad in pajama when the doorbell rings. How strange you thought to yourself. who could possibly be showing up for your parents at 5pm on christmas day.
“I’m coming!” you shouted from the stairs, feet quickly moving down the steps. you probably should’ve looked through the peephole before ripping the door open because to your unpleasant surprise you were met with-
“Ellie?” your eyes widen at the sight before you. your ex girlfriend was outside your door with a bouquet of flowers and tears in her eyes.
“Hi- Hey.” she looks just as surprised as you. her green eyes wider than ever. she looked different, her usually half up, half down was now cut into a thinner mullet like haircut. you had tried avoiding any news of ellie since you moved, so her look was entirely new to you.
“What the fuck are you doing here.” you asked, your voice harsh but quiet. she looks at you in disbelief, “I- Dina told me to come see you.” she whispers. Of course she did.
“Why, Ellie.” you pause, crossing your arms. “I haven't spoken to you in almost three years, and now you're outside my door. Why?” she now looks disappointed with your reaction. she had partially hoped that you would throw yourself into her arms and tell her you missed her. but she knew that would never be.
“I messed up,” she looks down at her shoes, you clearly weren't having her half asses words. you sigh loudly. before you could shoo her away dhe interrupts you.
“I did you so dirty, and- i cant forgive myself for it. but youre the only person i've ever loved, truly.” she pleads with you unbeknownst to you, as your eyes stayed glued to the ground. “Would you please look at me-”
“I don't owe you anything ellie.” you snap, you did fulfill her request however, your eyes meeting her frantic ones. “i dont have to accept your stupid apology, why the fuck would i, ellie? what you did- what you did was so wrong. and i should hate you for it.” you slowly step out of the house, your angry pointer finger meeting her chest. tears threatening to spill from your eyes.
“and im sorry, im so fucking sorry, baby. i couldn't even live with myself after what happened.” her final words making the tears finally start to stream down your face. you hadn't expected her to admit that, especially not with you practically beating your fist into her chest. but she did.
she notices your tears and grabs you by your face, she holds you as your legs buckle beneath you, something she didn't do years prior on this exact day. something she shouldn't have had to do. “Im sorry.” she whispered into your hair. her flowers now long discarded, and you crying into her arms on your parents front porch.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Ellie?” you cried, your body tensing up after her heartbreaking confession, you peered at her through wet eyelashes. and she couldn't even look at you.
“I’m sorry.” she whispered, fingers fiddling with the rings adorning her hands, the hands that held you whenever you cried, the hands that had made you see heaven just nights prior.
“You're breaking up with me cause why? ellie. im still confused as to what the fuck is happening right now.” your expression is one of incredulity.
“baby, don't do this.” your eyes widen, you couldnt fucking believe her. “Do not baby me, ellie. you’re fucking breaking up with me right now because what? did you fuck her?” her head shoots up from her lap, her bottom lip wabbling between her teeth.
“No! i- we didn't, i would never-” you scoff, rolling your eyes at her actions. trying desperately to hide the fact that she had just broke your heart into a million pieces. “Do you love her?” you ask quietly, the question you had been avoiding since the beginning in fear of its answer.
“I dunno. i just-”
“youre breaking up with me to be with her ellie so you better know if you fuckin’ love her or not.” you spit, your words harsh, but in reality you were about to have a full blown panic attack.
“I do.” she admits. and suddenly your whole world comes crashing down, four years you had wasted just for her to leave you for a girl she met two weeks ago.
your tears became heavy and all of a sudden it was hard to breathe. your vision quickly blurred, your hands shook as you lifted your glass to your lips. and your headache was hard to deny, you needed to lay down.
Your ears rung, ellie still trying to justify her unlawful acts. all you could really hear were clusters of “im sorry, Not your fault-” you sobbed uncontrollably.
Fuck you, Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou-
“are you two ready for your menus yet?” the waitress had came out of nowhere, a sweet girl who clearly had accidentally walked in to something she couldn't just ignore.
ellie kept her head down and you made eye contact with the waitress Ruth her name tag read, “No, actually. we’re done here. Well- I am. she might be waiting for someone else.” you point at ellie, and her head raises. you quickly stand up and begin to quickly shuffle your belongings into your purse.
you wished she at least had the decency to do this in the comfort of your own home, where you could kick her out if need be, but now the entire restaurant was watching as you ran out the door with snot dripping down your nose and mascara running from your eyes to your chest. You tuned out her inescapable voice and walked all the way home.
After a long, exhausting five minutes, ellie convinced you to let her take you inside and clean you up. she wiped the mascara off of your under eyes and kissed your forehead.
“Thanks.” you muttered. “Don't mention it.” she smiled, she placed the flowers on the counter beside where you sat. you examined them, a beautiful bouquet of red and yellow flowers, like the ones she had gotten you your first christmas together. you smile at the thought. remembering your innocent love.
“what are you smiling about? hm?” she asks, you look up at her, “just thinking, about us.” she inhales a sharp breath at that. “what could've been.” you finish, reaching for the flowers, holding them in your lap.
she walks over to you, your knees now touching the front of her jean thighs thighs. “or.. what can be?” she looks down at you, an overly hopeful look on her face.
“Ellie,” you sigh, you seemed to be doing that a lot today. “I cant just let you back in like that. i mean- when did you and Cat even break up?”
“last year, october.” you nod, swallowing whatever was in your throat. “i see.” the room filling with a heavy tension. your intense eye contact has you shifting on the counter.
“Will you kiss me?” you whisper, what the fuck were you doing? she opens her mouth slightly, before grabbing you by your waist. kissing you softly, before she realized what you wanted. you moaned at the contact, and she kissed you harder.
“fuck, okay, okayokay.” she stops for a moment, you look at her confused. “are you sure you wanna do this right now?.” you nod, profusely.
she moves her hands under your shirt, quickly lifting it off your body. “No bra?” she smirks, you roll your eyes. and reach for her own T-Shirt. you slipped it off with ease, unknowingly biting your lip at the sight before you.
she grabs you again, slotting her lips between your own, you wrap your legs around her waist.
“your room?” she whispers against you, “couch.” you confirm. Ellie drops you onto the cushions, you grab at your sweats, quickly lifting your hips to get them off. ellie, preoccupied with taking her own pants off.
“fuck, you’re beautiful.” she positions her body against yours, her lips trailing from behind your esr, all the way down to your lower stomach. small praises leaving your lips at her wet kisses.
she begins to move her lips towards your clit, sticking her tongue out and licking a dtrip over your underwear. “Ellie, please.” you whimper, hips bucking up into her face. she looks up at you and begins to slip your underwear off your body.
“Fuck, youre so wet.” she observed, moving her finger to play in between your folds. you eagerly bite your lip, her face admiring you from her position between your legs. you moan softly as she begins to eat you out, swirling small circles on your soft button. “Oh, ellie!” you whimpered, your body twitching against her mouth.
“ohmygod, baby.” she moans into you, slowly slipping s single finger in and out of your sopping hole, your moans growing increasingly loud, your eyes meet her own when you entangle your hand into her hair, pulling fightly at the back if her neck.
your back arches as she adds another finger, your release so close you can feel the sweat dripping down your back. “Im cuming! ellie, ellieellie!” you scream as she fucks you through your orgasm, her fingers slightly slowing down before she pulls them out.
you beckon her between your legs again when she lift your head from between your legs, she slots her legs between yours, slowly starting ti grind into you. “missed this pussy s’bad baby.” she groans as she continues to move her hips, speeding up as she pleases. “mhm,” you moan, greedily grinding back up into her, small whimpers starting to leave her throat at the feeling of your pussy on hers.
“Tell me you love me, ellie” you ask, your voice breathy. her head snaps down, looking down at you. her movements speed up as she looos at you.
“W-What?”
“Tell me you love me.” you bump your clit against her sweet spot and she moans. “I love you, fuck! so much, i love you soso much.” she could feel her orgasm creeping up on her, she speeds up her movements between your legs. your grab at her brests, pinching her nipples between your pointer and thumb. “you gonna come?” she bites her lip, nodding at your question.
“cum all over my pussy, please ellie.” you moan loudly, her fluid slowly leaking out of her and onto you. you quicken your hips, ellies lip finding home between her teeth until she suddenly falls into you, both of you moan when she untangled your legs.
“fuck.” she whispers, looking down at the mess that spread between the two of you, connecting you. you slowly lift yourself into a now sitting position. gingerly adjusting yourself so that you don't irritate your already sensitive nerves.
“so.” ellie starts, looking over at you, her eyes again filled with hope. you sigh quietly. “So, im gonna pee and you're gonna be gone by the time im done.” you state matter-of-factly as you stand up, slipping you oversized shirt back over your body. she shakes her head in confusion. “What?! But i thought-”
“you thought what, ellie? that i was just going to let you come back? you broke my fucking heart.” you can see her starting to tear up but you ignore the fact. instead slipping your underwear back on but discarding your pants.
“i told you it was a mistake! baby, i love you!” you scoff, your lips curling up into a smile, how fucking ridiculous.
“Listen to me ellie. Im going to go pee and you're going to go home. and then, tomorrow, im going to leave this fucking town forever and i swear to god you will never fucking see me again.” you argued, ellie still sitting there, with no clothes on. you didn't think she deserved your forgiveness. You felt guilty for denying her in such a vulnerable state but you convinced yourself that she deserved it.
you begin to walk up the stairs, you can hear her stand up from the couch and slip into her clothes once again. without turning around to face her you bid your final goodbyes,
“Tell your fiancée i said hi.”
unbeknownst to ellie, you had noticed the wedding band that shined around her left ring finger. that was when you decided not to let her back in.
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie x reader#ellie tlou#tlou#tlou fanfiction#tlou2#₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ゚izzie writes!?#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams fanfic#ellie smut#ellie x fem reader#ellie willams x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie williams x reader angst#ellie x you
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OKAY im about to give u a play by play reaction to this im so excited
All things considered, it’s been a really good year for you.
this is actually quite true jessifer do u live in my walls
If it’s meant to be, it’ll always find a way. You genuinely believe that. So, when your ex walks into the tiny little coffee shop two days before Christmas, you take it as something of a sign.
SCREEEMARMFEKRMFMREGMMMMMMMMMMM im trying to imagine a possible face one would make seeing their ex come in through the door but like. this is Kim Mingyu. wtf do you do when your ex, Kim Mingyu, walks in through a coffee shop door.
“I’m not sure I want to leave at all now,” he admits. “I’ve been thinking a lot about you.”
shut up. shut the FUCK up right now.
“I just moved and I actually live around the corner. Do you want to catch up?” he asks.
RAAAAHARIHFBERGNRGHJ
Something else is easy, too. You fall back into bed with him without a second thought.
You’re not really sure you ever got over him the first time and you want to tell him you don’t plan to let go of him this time.
YEAH. THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH YOU.
“Teach me how to be good for you,” he answers, breathless.
ITFGSIRGJNFJKNSOTRGBOSRUGBN <<<<< me snot crying
“Maybe I just like hearing you talk me through things when you’re coming undone.”
EEEENNNNOUUUUUGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Everything about this moment is perfect. The absolute best way that you can imagine to end the year.
this fucking fic is the best way to end my year holy shit
The whole world is quiet and you know you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
jessifer. I love u. thank u for this. im fucking crying bc im alone and without a mingyu. going to replay remix reshuffle mingyu walking into a coffee shop like mnet paid me to. ASIFGJNEIGNRTGNRTG okay im done I LOVED THIS SO MUCH RRRRAAHAHHAHGHN
where you belong | kmg
(where the holidays bring you back to the person and place you need to be.)
pairing: mingyu x fem!reader genre: exes to lovers (lite) | fluff & smut rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: ~1.2k warnings: kissing, smut, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (don't do this, they're in love), that's really it
note: SURPRISE EM! 💕🫶🏻 this is for my baby @gyuswhore for the secret santa event hosted by @camandemstudios. i was so happy to get you and i hope you're surprised that it was me. this was a lot of fun!
tag list: @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizon, @klecksstorys, @gyuminusone, @aaniag, @straykidswhoo789, @kimseokgen, @beomesbabe, @haolistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @harrythepottypus, @okiedokrie, @nuttywastelandmentality, @writingbarnes, @tomodachiii, @gyuhao365, @jjin-kun, @divinityyyy, @dibidibidismynameisleeknow, @tinkerbell460, @aidanjoon, @cookiearmy, @tusswrites, @kaepjjangiya
There’s something about the holidays that always has you reflecting on the last year. It’s kind of a way for you to figure out what works and what doesn’t before starting fresh in the new year. The past year has been a blur of keeping busy and projects for work. It feels incredibly fulfilling in so many ways. All things considered, it’s been a really good year for you.
Yet, you can’t keep your mind off the start of the year when you and your boyfriend broke things off. It isn’t some sad story of heartbreak or someone doing something horrible. You both just realized, as you spent New Year’s Eve apart because of work, that maybe it was a sign to give yourselves a chance at something different. Both of you agreed that it made the most sense. Life was pulling you in different directions and it felt like the time to really push forward in your separate work lives.
If it’s meant to be, it’ll always find a way. You genuinely believe that. So, when your ex walks into the tiny little coffee shop two days before Christmas, you take it as something of a sign. You shouldn’t even still be in the city and this isn’t a coffee shop you’ve ever been to before. But, your travel plans got delayed and you’ve been meaning to try this place for months. His eyes land on you from his position by the counter and he doesn’t seem surprised either. Your heart constricts a little at that shy smile and the way his shaggy hair bounces as he shakes his head.
“I can’t believe my luck,” Mingyu says when he approaches. “I figured you’d be gone.”
“I had something come up last minute. I was supposed to leave last night,” you say and he smiles.
“I’m not sure I want to leave at all now,” he admits. “I’ve been thinking a lot about you.”
“Yeah, same,” you admit.
“I just moved and I actually live around the corner. Do you want to catch up?” he asks.
“Let me just get my coat.”
Catching up goes from filling each other in on the last year to Mingyu cooking the best meal you’ve had in ages to lounging on the couch and laughing over silly shows. It’s easy to fall back into such a sense of comfort with him. Every part of you still seems to know every part of him. Some things you would have to explain to anyone else just instantly make sense to him. But, it feels different too. It feels like the last year has allowed you both to realize what’s actually important. Maybe it taught you how to better prioritize your time.
Something else is easy, too. You fall back into bed with him without a second thought. This is different now, too. Sex wasn’t ever an issue, but he wants you to show him exactly what you want now. Wants it to be perfect for you. The kind of thing that you can’t ever get over. You’re not really sure you ever got over him the first time and you want to tell him you don’t plan to let go of him this time.
“I’ll teach you whatever you want to know,” you tell him.
“Teach me how to be good for you,” he answers, breathless.
And you do. Mingyu is a giver, always has been. This is more than that, though. This Mingyu wants to map your reactions to every little thing he does. He wants to watch the way you squirm when his tongue flicks against your clit just right. Wants to memorize the way your thighs squeeze his head when he licks into you. Even if it’s always been good, it’s never been like this. It’s never felt like he’s worshipping your body in quite this way.
With a moan, your back arches against this bed and your hands scramble to find purchase on something. Anything. You try to keep up a stream of instructions like you said you would, but Mingyu’s also a very fast learner. It doesn’t take him long until his mouth is moving in the perfect way between your legs. Only take one comment for him to add a finger. Doesn’t need to be told how to hit you just right with those fingers. You’re a writhing mess and you’re not even sure that you can think straight anymore. He’s got you seeing stars as you come hard on his tongue and his fingers.
“I’m not sure you need me to teach you anything,” you say after catching your breath for a second.
Mingyu’s got a bit of a smirk on his mouth, still glistening a little. “Maybe I just like hearing you talk me through things when you’re coming undone.”
“Oh, it’s like that?” you joke back.
“We can see if you need to teach me anything else,” he says with that sparkle still in his eyes.
“You’re not done with me?” you ask and try not to sound too hopeful.
“No,” he says and kisses you before you can respond in any way.
It always seemed crazy to you to think that someone could kiss you stupid. Until Mingyu kisses you like that after nearly a year apart. Until you remember all the kisses for every different occasion. Now it just seems crazy to think there’s anyone out there for you other than him. He keeps kissing you as he settles his body between your legs, hovering his body just over yours so that he doesn’t put too much weight on you. Keeps kissing you as he uses a hand to line himself up at your entrance. Keeps kissing you as he slowly presses into you. The pace is slower than you want, filled with all the things you’re feeling. All the affection and reverence that he’s always shown you.
“Mingyu, please, I need more,” you finally moan out.
And it happens like that again. He lets you teach him just the pace that you want. He lets you set the rhythm alternating between slow, languid strokes and hard, fast snaps of his hips. Everything else around you disappears. All you see is the love in his eyes as he takes you in. Everything about this moment is perfect. The absolute best way that you can imagine to end the year. Almost as good as him pushing you to a second orgasm just before he follows right after you.
It seems too early to be awake if the light coming in through the cracks in Mingyu’s curtains is any indication, but the smell of coffee wafts tantalizingly into the bedroom. You’re incredibly thankful that you changed all of your holiday plans to stay with Mingyu. It clearly isn’t just the post-sex haze that has you wanting to stay. Your heart is full to bursting with warmth. He’s always been it for you and you’re thankful that you get to spend another holiday with him.
So, you pull on a baggy shirt Mingyu has lying by the side of the bed and slide out of bed. You walk over to the window to see what’s making it seem a little brighter outside. Amazingly, snow falls gently in beautiful, swirling patterns. The whole world is quiet and you know you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
I hope you enjoyed it ❤️
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Okay so as a little treat for myself I started playing DA: I (after beating Veilguard for the third time) and let me tell you I can hand-wave alot of the critical comparisons between the two (Dialoge, World-Building, Etc, Etc) because I have a genuine love for the DATV and it's characters
But holy shit I have never been so close to being a Veilguard hater as when I realised that you could not only ride a horse in Inquisition, but you can also ride the ugliest fucking horses known to Thedas wtf they took so much away from us
#Dragon Age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age inquisition#DATV#DAI#as a result of this discovery my inquisitor is now a horse girl#who is also very socially inept and (in my mind) is the worlds biggest scaredy cat#like she kinda just fell into the position and is constantly fighting back tears anytime she has to talk to anyone#she has a crush on cullen but thinks she will literally explode if she does more than one (1) romantic interaction per dialogue
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fic: I Won’t Tell (The Whole World Knows)
“Oh fuck,” he whispered, sitting up quickly and jabbing his thumb on the screen to pause the video. That was his sweatshirt. That was Takumi’s archery club sweatshirt, the one he’d forgotten the last time he’d followed Leo home to beg his help on their biology lab, and Leo was wearing it here in this tik tok for the entire world to see.
- Leo swipes one of Takumi's sweatshirts and Takumi only kind of loses his mind about it
READ IT ON AO3
#leokumi#fire emblem fates#fe14#fe:fates#leo fire emblem#takumi#takumi fire emblem#sometimes i fic#fuck i love these two so fucking much holy shit#fe leo#fe takumi
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⚠️the book of bill spoils, blood⚠️
"Hey, brother, it's Sixer."
#WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#the book of bill#the book of bill spoilers#stanford pines#bill cipher#literally my favorite section in the whole entire book#the way it parallels a tale of two stans unintentionally or not#the way he wrote down stan's whole name instead of the abbreviation#i just love that section so much it's so fuckign GOOD#wait i have more#the way it is inbetween such scary parts of the books with bill doing whatever the fuck he wants with ford's body omgggg#HE CAN MAKE HIM FORGET HIS OWN NAME THATS SO SCARYYY#and the way bill made ford believe he was going to tell stan that he was dead if the line went through holy shit#ok i'm normal again#he def got nerve damage from the nail#billford#tw blood#i forgot to add his moles life is evil#art
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@muzzlemouths MERRY LATE AS FUCK SECRET SANTA I WOULD KILL FOR DEAD MALL DARE
Timelapse under the cut
#nebula art and doodles#for others#holy fuck i am SO sorry for being late with this shit has been insane#(and also got. massively distracted oops)#BUT WAAAA I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH#RHGRGHRHGAAAAAAAAA#dcass2023
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I’m about to watch the last episode of Arcane but just wanted to drop by to say about episode 8:
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
alright see you in 50 minutes 😭😭😭
#arcane season two#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane caitvi#the caitvi scene guys I am deceased#holy fucking shit#they’re so hot#i need them#I love them so much#also jinx#I need Ekko to find her right fucking now#I have so many thoughts#okay here I go last episode
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#ahh‚ the other half of team tasty. the ever-so-ravenous subject of wurmple's endless fear#swellow#i've already talked at length about how much i love team tasty but this is Literally the team tasty Guy this is Him!! it's the Dude!!#ugh every team had like. goals‚ didn't they? and bulbapedia lists their goals. i remember 'cause team meanies just said cause trouble#or something like that. fuck lemme go look#okay no team meanies was “wealth and world domination” fine#DAMN team tasty's purpose is unknown. i thought there would be SOME subtext in the game with how much dialogue they have#i'm gonna have to replay pmd sky all over again just so i can closely follow these two's story down to a fuckin tee#i gotta keep a very close eye on these dudes next time i play it. but. i'm gonna finish totk first because holy shit#i love that game. a lot. i've been playing it like all day the past few days after work#fellow totkers rise up. this is not a zelda blog it's a pokémon blog#here's swellow
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Though there seems no continuation plans for that DP comic you just dropped, would you be willing to share any storyline? I’m INVESTED 👀❤️
Oh god its kills me how I want to draw the whole thing out, and maybe one day? But honestly I don't think it will happen any time soon if at all soooo...
The story is that between the first and second page, Danny is unknowingly dipped into another dimension where instead of going thru the portal w/ Sam and Tucker behind him, he went in alone. This alternate version of him didn't tell anyone about his powers and after the first fight he had he decided he was too much of a risk and ran away. Thus Sam and Tucker telling *our* Danny he's been missing for two years. (so theyre 16 here)
The comic would cover Danny trying to pass as this other Danny, him meeting the other Danny, and trying to get back to his dimension. Its suppose to be very touching and heartfelt yada yada I have the first chapter sketched out but its like 20 pages and he hasn't even met the other danny yet 😭
This is the title part I made. The name comes from a twilight zone episode that I thought fit rlly well. I've also posted a lot of concept art like floor plans and shit cuz I *needs* that stuff when I'm making comics.
also had another comic idea that I'll never get to where a villain starts turning ghosts into horrible monster creatures and Danny gets turned into one, which is suppose to be much spookier but still fun.
I'm gonna give myself some more time to see how feasible it would be to make the comics and if not I will probs shit out all my brain splatters about it onto tumblr :p Thank you so much for asking about it 🥺👉👈
#it would be suuuch a long comic i think and i would at least want to have it all sorta sketched out before i made any major commitments#the only comic i've ever done is my short what we do in the shadows comic#which was much shorter and done in a lot simpler style#i appreciate the interest so fucking much tho holy hell thats def gonna give me the juice needed to look everything over again#i would want to see the two dannys interacting in the comic as well as sam and tuck interacting with both#a few shenangians where the two dannys have to continously swap places so theres not two dannys in the same place at once#theres a part i was thinking of where our danny is like holy shit youve been in the woods for two years you never got top surgery#and the other one is like YOU GOT TOP SURGERY?? HELL YEAH#also want to mess around with Vlad and ofc clockwork is there because the whole dimension-y shenanigans are up his alley#also i just love clockwork#asks#dupree
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I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~
I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?
first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question
i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.
TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)
deep dive under the cut as to why
-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?
i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.
-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?
this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.
when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.
think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.
and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).
-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??
this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).
what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)
they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.
...however...
this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)
and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):
so...
<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.
-
since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)
he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.
-
<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).
-
with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)
see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T
-
to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)
note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.
note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.
-> Romance in No Home?
another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.
from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk
when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.
exhibit A:
HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.
exhibit B:
here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.
exhibit C:
this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-> what do i think?
first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).
as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.
there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.
technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)
<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.
all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.
#ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU ARE DELULU ENOUGH!! THAT'S HOW SHIPPING WORKS IN GENERAL. IN EVERY FANDOM.#anon. this shit fried my head. it 3.30am and my brain is not braining anymore. i love analyzing these two but goddamn is it HARD.#THERE'S SO MUCH NUANCE TO EVERY INTERACTION THEY HAVE *cry*#life's been hectic and this question demanded i sit down in 7 different sittings to get everything written down. hence why it took me a bit#i tried to write down all my thoughts and i don't think i managed. but i hope what i have here makes sense.#and i also hope i actually answered ur question. i feel like i got side-tracked and possibly missed the target.#no home#no home manhwa#eunyung baek#haejoon goh#ey hj parallels#meta#집이 없어#webtoon#god u guys have no idea how many times while reading i was like 'omg they're gonna kiss omg pls do'#only to keep reading and going like 'hoLY FUCK PLS DO *NOT*!! get away from him omfg!!'#the whiplash was fucking unreal. i remember honest to god SOBBING at 4am every time they fought <- that first time read was rough#also! if you agree/disagree/want to correct me or just talk about the topic i'm open to discussion/criticism. (just pls be nice abt it ><)#my ask box is open <3
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james and ruby remind me so much of dramione, holy fuck.
#carly watches maxton hall#maxton hall#harry potter#WHY DIDN'T YA'LL TELL ME???????#IF SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME THEY WERE DRACO AND HERMIONE I WOULD'VE JUMPED ON THIS SO MUCH SOONER OH MY GOD#i don't really fuck with hp like that i just love dramione and i am seeing so much of them reflected in these two characters#holy shit i love them and this show so much it feels like i'm watching a modern day rom com of them and i'm obsessed
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LOOK AT THEM. JUST LOOK.
Everything about this frame is perfection
I dunno man, that seems like a pretty solid name, I’d take it
This is just me and one of my friends during dnd
THESE TWO. EVERYTHING ABOUT THESE TWO.
Look at this goofy fucker I love him so much
#random rambling with starly#the amazing digital circus#the amazing digital circus spoilers#go watch the pilot if you haven’t already#it’s really good#Caine is my favourite#i don’t care if he’s made out to be the main antagonist he’s my beloved#oh and jax#jax is fucking awesome.#AND HOLY SHIT RAGATHA IS SO FICKING COOL LIKE AJFHSOJXJS#I love them all <3#I already preordered the poster#‘Don’t worry Dollface’ DOLLFACE.#I love those twos dynamic so much holy fucking shit
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I got tagged by the lovely @sleepystede to make an adorable little picrew blorbo dude. Thank you for tagging me! 🥰
I was feelin' the spots. He looks like a little chicken stuck in a stress ball. Also this is a 10/10 accurate representation of me in a few weeks, glasses and noise cancelling headphones on, listening to @lindie-kninjaknitter's podfics while i wander about Japan ✌️
tagging: @jessystardust, @adickaboutspoons, @scorpiostarseed, @wickedlycaskett, @endevouring-to-surprise, @daria-meoi, @pumpkinspicepirates and sorry sorry sorry if i've tagged anyone who has already done it, and if I missed someone who would like to do it please just pretend that I'm better at this than I am and that I tagged you. (And if I keep tagging you for these things and you hate them, please tell me to stop.) *social anxiety jazz hands*
(I've been buried under mountains of uni work and only just realised that i've been tagged for a bunch of things! Sorry! I'm slowly toddling my way through them, thank you so much for thinking of me! ❤️)
#my little dude is so cute i love him#i feel like i need to go knit myself a two tone yellow polkadot colourwork sweater now to bring this shit to life#(side note i just discovered a yarn store that's only 30mins drive away and they have PROPER YARN as in more than just the basic#acrylic and cheap-ass wool that Spotlight overcharges for i drove down there today and i spent way too much money but now#i have enough Indiecita alpaca yarn to knit the forest sweater pattern i bought the other day 😭😭😭😭😭) also have i mentioned#how obsessed i am with kninjaknitter's podfics? because holy shit i honestly don't know how i lived without them#who was i before i had her fucking 9.5hr Synchronicity podfic saved to my phone? because i do not remember that person#will both of my 11hr flights be wall to wall podfic and knitting? yes. yes they will#but kate! - you say - don't you literally have 50+ books to read before next semester? don't you start your thesis in a few weeks?#yes. and yes. and shut up i'm going on holidays 🙉
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What the fuck........ What the fuck
#THEY LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD AUGH#HOLY SHIT THEY LOOK SO GOOD#splatoon#IM LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH#SPLATOON 3 IS FUCKING KILLING IT WITH THE FASHION#FIRST WE GOT SUIT MARINA NOW THIS#shy talks#not art#I'M CRYING I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH#SHOULD I JUST COSPLAY PEARL AT THIS RATE#I'M SHORT AND I HAVE GOBLIN ENERGY
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EPISODE 8 MADE UP FOR PREV CRITICISM SO GOOD, I CAN'T– LITERALLY KICKING MY LEGS RN
#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#TECCHOU AND KENJI. DAZAI AND SIGMA. TERUKO AND ATSUSHI. FUCKING FYODOR AND CHUUYA.#Bram and Aya. Sweeties I love you both so much.#I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT DAZAI'S SMIRK#AND HIS PAUSE. HIS MEMORY FLASHES. AND THE EYE CRINKLE IN THOUGHT. THEY LET HIM SHOW EMOTION WE'RE WINNING#I was totally not expecting Fyodor to bark though like sir? This cats against dogs or what#well more like cat+adopted kitten vs dog+seagull cause what the fuck was that screech last episode#AHH TERUKO WAS JUST AMAZING AS ALWAYS#oh Tecchou and Kenji how I long to see you two in the manga again#I was kinda surprised to see Chuuya's eyes didn't change though... anyway#this episode just rocked the wait that felt eternal was just WORTH it#bungou stray dogs#bsd#EDIT: I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT HOW FERAL I WENT OVER TECCHOU'S LINE BEING FINALLY DELIVERED SHIT
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People at Wihuwte either ship him with Kemakka, simping at him (I mean... I do too ngl dude's a snacc XD), or already predicting him being a bad guy (I... somehow though he's a double agent at worst), meanwhile I am in awe with how similar he looks with Avenel (the Timid Trader/Bandit from DT Phys. Ranged Role Quest).
Like...
(Stole that Wihuwte screenshot from @demilypyro cuz I didn't take any MSQ screenshot of him rip OTL)
It got to the point where I actually made them twin brothers separated by circumstance (Avenel's Turali birth name being Awetihwe) in Cole's storyline.
The story is that, when they were kids (around 8-10 at most), they tried to escape their increasingly unhinged outlaw Da not long after their Ma died from unnamed illness. Only Avenel made it across the salt while Wihuwte unfortunately got caught by the Da's underlings.
Avenel got found by an Ul'dahn merchant and grew up under their tutorage, though since he refused to talk about himself - not even his name - as a sort of defense mechanism in fear of being found by mercenaries sent by his Da, he's christened with his current name by said merchant and he himself claimed to strangers that he's born and raised in Ul'dah from then on. When his parent figure died, he took over their business but either not as savvy as them as a merchant or oversaturation in market that he had a hard time keeping up (leaning towards the latter atm) to the point of struggling financially, leading to him being taken by Chalteaufite's lies and participating in the Elezen's criminal activities in order to make ends meet.
Wihuwte meanwhile had to grow up under the Da and his gang's suffocatingly watchful eyes until he managed to sneak out from the Da's grasp many years later and went to where Hhusatahwi is now to sign up as a Duskwatch (or proto-Duskwatch, I forgot how long had Duskwatch exist) so that he could stifle down criminals like his Da was. Though with how stretched thin the Duskwatch were despite their best efforts, he got disillusioned and Zekowa's gang forming sort of made him snap to the point where he took control over the Daybreaker with the intention of starting a gang war against both his Da (for the mistreatment he done) and the Duskwatch (for, in his eyes, not doing enough), only resorting to stealing and selling stuff in the Black Market due to needing the funds and equipment first before doing so.
I know Patch quests could throw a wrench on their entire background story but like... Idk I just went crazy for these 2. I can understand Avenel being confined within Role Quests stuff but by God do I find Wihuwte utterly underutilized. Maybe cuz I have high expectation coming into the Shaaloani part after watching so many RDR2 clips and playthrough, but I feel like there's more to him than meets the eyes (Zekowa and Kemakka probably too but I felt this strongly on Wihuwte).
Bonus: Have the twins' family photo when they were kids and after both got released from jail (and Avenel finally has the courage to sail back home) :D
#Final Fantasy#Final Fantasy XIV#FFXIV#FFXIV Dawntrail#Dawntrail#FF14 Dawntrail#Wihuwte#Avenel#FFXIV Wihuwte#FFXIV Avenel#Dawntrail spoilers#finally the yap has escaped the FFXIV Swap Server XD#you have no idea how much I love these two#SE really though they made the same character twice and thought I wouldn't notice lol#granted there's only so much customization you can get from base character creation and Face 4 middie Hyur aren't exactly rare#but barring minor differences they look so extremely alike I couldn't help but diagnose them with 'twin bros'#also yeah the entire thing regarding Wihuwte being underutilized#On one hand SE pls more Wihuwte content#but on the other hhhhhh Wihuwte-Avenel twin bros theory OTL#honestly I really wouldn't be surprised if they're both actually related#like canonically related#but then again stinky man deserves to be behind jail for an all too common crime of stealing and pillaging#withe a stolen gang no less lol poor Zekowa#also also Wihuwte is so fucking tall holy shit max height middie O-O#ZEKOWA IS SO. FUCKING. SMALL LMAO custom 255 height (shorter than even min height middie) is no joke XD
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