#fuck duke isn't here
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“I had a nanny when I was a child,” Bruce said, because he forgot for one second too long what kind of hellion brood he had. Of course, all hell broke loose a moment later, and he remembered. He mentally sent an apology to Danny Fenton.
“Of course you did,” muttered Jason, rolling his eyes, but there’s a keen note of interest in his eyes.
“What was her name?” Tim followed up, because he was definitely the bulldog of the lot when it came to information of any kind. He got that from Bruce, somehow.
“Auntie?” Cass asked, always on the lookout for people to pull into their family.
“Oh my God, did you kill them?” Steph asked gleefully, probably just to stir the pot.
“That is the opposite of an argument for your case, B,” Dick said, the only one to stay on topic. (Bruce had been trying to convince him that he and Kori could have a child just fine if they also hired a nanny.)
“Where are they?” Damian demanded, possibly to go interrogate Danny at the first opportunity.
Bruce rubbed his forehead and waited for the chatter to die down, not missing Alfred’s amused smile as the man checked on them during the hubbub. This one slip-up was going to have weeks of fallout, Bruce could just feel it. Only when they quieted, watching him expectantly, did he finally answer.
“His name was Danny,” he said, watching them perk up at the promise of answers. “He was a student that Alfred hired to help care for me after my parents’ death. He is now a renowned astrophysicist, and you will not be subjecting him to this family.”
Tim was already on his phone. Unfortunately, the lack of a last name would be no deterrent to Tim. ‘Danny’ and ‘astrophysicist’ would be more than enough.
“Miss him,” Cass decided, terrifyingly astute.
“Tt, it would be simple enough to find and contact him.” Damian crossed his arms and nodded firmly, as if it were decided.
“No,” Bruce stressed. He rubbed his forehead again, knowing it was useless. “We have had no contact since I was eighteen. It would be inappropriate.”
“Of course you haven’t, you were all caught up in your vengeance,” Jason dismissed, lounging back to pretend he wasn’t interested. “Bet he remembers you.”
“Of course he does,” Steph laughed. “Bruce as a kid? Must’ve been priceless.”
“Hey, you know who would know?” Dick said, letting the previous subject slip. “Alfred!”
Alfred had definitely been waiting for that. He was there in an instant, eyes bright with amusement in an expression that usually boded ill for someone. “Yes, Master Dick?”
Dick beamed at him. “Can you tell us about Danny?”
“No,” Bruce tried again.
“Daniel James Fenton, PhD,” Tim announced, having found his victim. “Born in Amity Park, Illinois, a known meta hotspot, to Drs. Jack and Madeline Fenton. One sister, Dr. Jasmine Fenton. Geez, I guess genius runs in the family.”
“That would be him,” Alfred confirmed, a proud smile on his face. Bruce sighed. Apparently Alfred had no interest in sparing Danny his sanity. “He was such a sweet young man. I didn’t intend to keep him on for so long, only until I’d… regained my emotional footing, as it were, but he was so good with Master Bruce.”
“Really?” Dick prompted, leaning forward. Alfred’s eyes sparkled. All the other kids scooted closer.
Menaces, all of them.
“Very much so,” Alfred said cheerfully. “He had a talent for calming Master Bruce’s moods that I simply couldn’t match, and he was always able to redirect his aggression to more… constructive activities. In fact, I learned many of my favorite deescalation techniques from Danny.” He softened. “He spent a lot of time with Master Bruce in the library, helping him research whatever was on Master Bruce’s mind that day. Their conversations would often last through dinner and up until bedtime.”
Yes. That was most of what Bruce remembered. Danny had always been there to process things with, taking Bruce’s thoughts and questions seriously and nurturing his need to learn as much as possible. Danny never seemed to have the same burning need to know, but he understood that Bruce did.
And if what Bruce needed to process was his emotions, his burning rage or his yawning grief, Danny was usually there for that too.
“We will find this man,” Damian declared.
“I bet he has stories,” Dick agreed, giving Bruce a shit-eating grin.
“There’s an astrophysics conference in Gotham next week,” Tim said, flicking through his phone. “Danny’s a keynote speaker.”
“Don’t do anything I’ll need to apologize for,” he ordered futilely.
Danny was Bruce's Nanny
Danny used to be Bruce Wayne's nanny. He was looking for a job and found that Alfred needed somebody to look after Bruce while he did other things (Cleaning, cooking, getting groceries, etc.) He decided to take up the job, even though everyone had quit. But here's the thing, Bruce nor Alfred knows he's half-dead (Alfred would find out later, he's Alfred after all)
Later on, when Bruce grows up and adopts all his kids, non knowing that he had a nanny and was a troublemaker, he makes a comment about having one when he was younger. He was trying to convince his children that it wouldn't hurt to have one.
"Alfred can't always look after you. Dick and Jason are in their 20's and don't need a nanny and besides, Nannies aren't bad or weak, I had one myself after all." Bruce didn't know that this would lead to questions about who they were, what they were like, and where they lived(Tim and the others wanted to do a background check, even though they weren't there when he did have one.)
Alfred cuts in to say that his nanny was a miracle worker and always had Bruce asleep by the time he needed to be. "He always made breakfast and had Bruce up when he needed to go to school. He even helped around the manor."
On the other side of Gotham. Danny was visiting since he hadn't been around in a few years and wanted to see how things were going. Color him surprised when he finds out the little boy he nannied when he was younger is a grown man with children! Well, it had been a while since he had last seen Bruce and Alfred.
#dpxdc#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#danny fenton#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#dick grayson#damian wayne#stephanie brown#fuck duke isn't here#well he would help bruce try to stop this nonsense anyway#can't have that#my writing#danny phantom#batman
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@sasheneskywalker i love when you enable me to ramble about things because oh my god do i have thoughts.
so recently, i made a post discussing the phenomena of DC x DP and DC x MLB crossovers and why they exist and part of that post was discussing how largely speaking, at least half, if not more of the Batfamily fandom doesn't read the comics. if they interact with canon DC material, it's adaptations that are their own sequestered universes and oftentimes not remotely comic accurate or seeking to be. the most obvious example is the Young Justice cartoon. i'm adding a cut to this post because it just got so long i'm so sorry.
a lot of times, when people are discussing the "why" of this oversaturation of fanon-only fandom, they blame Wayne Family Adventures. and i think, to a point, i agree WFA is responsible for a boom in this fandom. but as someone who's been in the fandom long before we had WFA, to me it's the other way around. WFA was DC's way of meeting the demand for this easy-to-get-into, easy-to-consume content about the Batfamily that predicates itself on the comics just enough to be vaguely the same characters, but has a more sitcom, slice-of-life sort of vibe so DC could profit off of this section of the fanbase that otherwise wasn't consuming its primary material. and well, it's definitely worked. not only that, but i have a weird theory that the decline in the MCU also led to the rise in the Batfamily fandom. when you consider the fan content that made the MCU popular within fandom, it's that 2012 "they all live in Avengers Tower and Thor is eating poptarts and Clint is in the vents and there are movie nights every Friday" sort of vibe. those were the fics that were a hallmark of the fandom. and as the MCU has strayed from well... quality content in general, but specifically well-thought-out crossover content where characters can have their own arcs but also exist in a wider story where they clearly care about each other, that fandom was sort of homeless. so where do you go, if you like a superhero found family where you can have villains for angst but also stick them all in one big family-like home for silly crack and have a plethora of options for gay ships? well. you go to the Batfamily. if you write a crack/fluff Batfamily genfic with silly vibes and low stakes instead of say, a fic about a very specific comic issue even if it's a popular comic, you're *going* to get more traction for the former. because the fanbase largely just isn't reading the comics.
and i feel... complicated about this. because on one hand, Don't Like Don't Read has been a tenet of my fandom experience. i'm very pro-fandom and that includes fandom content i don't like. and to an extent, i do think this sort of should apply to Batfamily fanon. i enjoy having my moments with other comic purists, giggling over exceptionally painful OOC headcanons or even facepalming in pain over some content but it is on me to not interact with that content. you don't make fandom a better place by being hostile to fans who engage with canon in ways you don't approve of. and frankly? we as comic readers are not going to get non-comic fans to read the comics by being asshats to them. no one is going to want to pick up any comic if we get a superiority complex about it. and also, i feel like we're all lying to ourselves a little bit insisting comics are so, so easy to get into. they're not. we can just all agree, they're really not. i've been single-handedly helping my sister get into comics, specifically Wonder Woman and no matter how simple i make it, i watch her get frustrated trying to understand what pre-Crisis and post-Crisis and New-52 and Flashpoint and all these things mean and what a retcon vs a reboot is and what a Crisis Event is and what the hell Diana's current backstory even *is*. sure, you can give someone a beginner list of comics to start with and slowly dip their toes in the water but sooner or later, *something* is going to confuse them. comics as a medium straight up aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. and if someone *just* wants to read silly fluffy fanfiction about the Batfamily, i can't entirely begrudge them for not wanting to take the hours and hours out of their day to understand this medium. it's not an accessible medium to get into. "read this and this, but this run is out of print and this run wasn't collected in trades at all but also make sure you read that event in order and this is a good comic but the backstory in it is retconned and you *have* to read this it's so important but it's also really bad because the author kind of sucks" sounds. ridiculous for someone who like. just wants to read some stuff about Nightwing. sometimes, we all make reading comics sort of sound like a chore, not a hobby.
so my point is, i do extend some grace to Batfamily fanon for existing. i think my biggest gripe is, as i said in my other post, misuse of tags (if you're not creating content about comics, maybe you don't need the comics fandom tag on Ao3, just the all media types umbrella tag) and my far bigger gripe: when panels are taken out of context to support fanon only headcanons. if i could impart *anything* onto the Batfamily fandom as a comic fan it'd be this: if you haven't *read* the comic, don't spread the panel. if you don't even know what comic it's *from*, don't spread the panel. it's fine to use comic panels to discuss your headcanons, but so often i see someone spreading a comic panel from a comic they haven't read, and when asked where it's from, they can't source it. a silly example that comes to mind is a post going around, taking a panel where Dick, in his internal monologue goes "here comes the sun. do do do do." and the post is claiming it's from him getting buried alive. when that panel comes from Nightwing (1996) #140, and he gets buried alive in Nightwing (1996) #127, two completely different moments frankensteined together. if you're going to not read the comics, that's completely fine, but unless you're sure of the source and the context, panels shouldn't be spread around. i'm sick of this specifically happening to Red Robin (2009), with ppl claiming Tim has totally killed people because he blew up some of Ra's' bases, when those panels within context, make it clear he gave everyone time to escape. and in a later arc in that very comic, Tim grapples with the idea of murdering Captain Boomerang, and *specifically chooses not to*, because he doesn't agree with murder, even against the person who has hurt him the most. if you'd like to write fanfiction where Tim is pro-murder and has done some sketch things, i'm totally on board and would probably like to read it. but there's no need to pretend it's canon from a few panels you saw out of context.
beyond that, i think it's not *entirely* correct to say that fanon is harmless. whenever i see very WFA-positive posts, they often default to the argument that WFA is fun and silly, and comic fans are killjoys for not liking it. which. i think is complicated because the issue is, WFA and fanon don't exist in a vacuum. if you like WFA power to you, i don't think it's the worst thing ever, but i do think it's degrading to these characters because honestly? they feel incompetent in the webtoon. it's one thing if WFA was solely a slice-of-life sort of deal, just having silly episodes where Bruce is taking on a PTA mom or they're all fighting for the last cookie. but when WFA attempts to take on more serious plots with these characters, it *fundamentally* falls flat in understanding them. i get it, Bruce comforting Jason having a panic attack because a noise reminded him of the crowbar felt cute in a microcosm, but i'm so serious when i say that storyline destroyed how like. half of this fandom understands Jason Todd's relationship to his trauma. it doesn't understand how he reacts when he's triggered, what coping mechanisms he seeks out, and how he would handle Bruce comforting him. even if i can believe for a brief moment Jason *would* be triggered by something like that, him running and trying to hide and then getting a hug from Bruce to make it okay is just. painful. WFA needs everything to be wrapped up in a nice, neat little bow. so even when it starts to tackle interesting concepts, it makes them fall flat with its need to be soft, low stakes, hurt/comfort. there was a two-parter episode that dealt with the complicated mutual hatred/jealousy between Tim and Damian that *almost* really interested me because for once, it felt like the webtoon wanted to explore canon messy dynamics. but of course, it had to be fixed with one conversation and a hug. you don't mend the *years* of issues these characters have like that. WFA isn't in character because these characters are hyperbole cartoonified versions of themselves to fit within the medium and be a cute happy family.
because that right there, is the crux of it. the Batfamily fanon seeks to simplify the Batfamily and force them into a nuclear family. there are so many fantastic posts on here discussing how the nuclear family-ification of the Batfam is eroding decades worth of complex histories so i won't go too far into that. but what i will say is that there's this need, in the Batfamily fandom, for the Batfamily to exist as a unit. they are a *family*. (honestly i think calling it the Batfamily is a misnomer and has been for years but we're in too deep now.) they exist to each other first, and any teams or friends they have come secondary to this family unit. you can *specifically* see this demonstrated in what headcanons are becoming popular these days. i have an entire lengthy meta in my drafts about how i *loathe* the "the Batfamily meets the Justice League" genre of fanfic because it makes no *sense*. in order to have this genre of fic exist, you must operate under the assumption that no one in the League, or adjacent to the League, knows the Batfamily exists and are thus utterly shocked to discover Batman has kids. and to make *that* work, you have to strip *every single Batfamily member* of such important dynamics and friendships so you can lock them all in Gotham for their whole lives. Dick can't have the Titans, Tim can't have Young Justice, Duke & Cass can't have the Outsiders, Jason can't have the Outlaws, Damian can't have the Supersons, Babs can't have the Birds of Prey, and so on. because if they had these relationships, they would be known to the League. the Batfamily fandom doesn't care about this, it's just "silly fanfiction", it's not trying to be serious. but how can you say you like Dick Grayson as a character if you don't understand the Titans *are* his family? at some points of his life, moreso than the Batfamily even is. it is constantly repeated to us in most comics with Dick how much the Titans mean to him. he *needs* them to be who he is. the same extends to every other Batfamily member, most of which have been full League members at this point. but in fanon, that doesn't matter. the Batfamily are a sequestered unit first, and all of those side relationships are secondary and easy to toss away, if it makes your fanfic work better.
and because they have to be a unit first, you have these forced relationships that dump years of actual canon material for the sake of making them get along. the Batfamily fandom has its favorites and well. it's no secret it's usually the boys. Jason and Tim by *far* stand out as fandom faves so, their dynamic is a heavily explored one. it does matter that in canon they don't tend to get along and especially don't see each other as family. what matters is that you can push dynamics onto them. and so fanon gets all twisted up about which Robin Tim actually idolized as a kid (Dick) and what member of the Batfamily is pro-murder but still an older sibling figure to him and looks out for him (Helena, or if you want the dynamic of once tried to harm Tim but they've reconciled, Jean-Paul) in favor of who's the most popular. Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian are always going to be the standouts for popularity, but it's specifically Jason and Tim who are getting fanonized the most. and that's because really, we don't have much canon content of Tim that *isn't* the comics. for Dick you've got Young Justice (tv), for Damian you've got the DCAMU, for Jason you've sort of got the Under The Red Hood movie, but Tim sort of lingers in this limbo. (yes, he's in Young Justce (tv) and Titans (live action) but in neither is he the main character nor given much depth) so, he gets a *lot* projected onto him and has become fanonized. and even with Jason's animated movies, you don't see him interact with Tim, so people build it from the ground up how they want to see it, disregarding of canon comics. i think it's what makes him so popular in the first place- he's malleable into whatever you want or need him to be.
and of course, the fanon ignores other characters in the Batfamily it doesn't know about. i feel like you could create a tier list of Batfamily characters by their popularity, going from the fandom main characters: Tim, Jason, Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Damian. to the underrated: Steph, Duke, Babs, Cass. to the forgotten about unless they're convenient for a story: Kate, the Foxes, Helena Wayne, Carrie, Selina, Harper Row, Maps, Minhkhoa Khan. to the absolutely unknown: Helena Bertinelli, Jean-Paul Valley, Onyx Adams, the Clovers, Julia Pennyworth. it's not lost on me that the ignored characters tend to be women and people of color. which is both a canon and fanon problem, DC will continue adding interesting characters to the Batfamily, play with them for a few years, then drop them to default to the "Batboys" again. and it's a vicious cycle of the fandom only caring about the "Batboys", and thus people entering the fandom via fanon osmosis won't have content about the other characters, therefore, they won't be interested in those characters enough to create it, and it's just this ouroboros consuming itself, no matter how much canon content we have of these other characters. and it's ridiculous just how large the Batfamily is becoming because of this, which is why i'm a pre-Flashpoint fan, because then the Batfamily was contained enough to actually feel like a family with every character having nuances relationships with each other, but i digress because those thoughts could be their own post.
and the thing about fanon is it doesn't exist in a vacuum. DC has started turning the comics to accommodate for what fans are asking for, because fans will beg and beg for content they're not going to consume. Tim Drake: Robin had Tim as a coffee drinker because that's the fanon accepted headcanon. and the resolution of the recent Gotham War arc was for Bruce to buy this new manor for everyone to move in and call him. nevermind that most of these characters have their own homes and have zero reason to be moving in with Bruce. Tim had his marina in Tim Drake: Robin, Dick has Bludhaven, Cass and Steph have their little side of town in Batgirls (2022), and so on. these characters are being forced together as a unit, as one big happy family living together, to appease what non-comic fans want and it's damaging comic relationships. Robin: Knight Terrors saw Jason and Tim team up and working together, which i've seen varying opinions on but i personally despised. their interactions made zero sense for any of their canon history, but it appeases them being this close sibling relationship that fanon acts like they are. also the fears they faced in their respective knight terrors didn't make sense for either character and *only* worked as a moment of bringing them together so they could reassure each other and have this weird dreamscape bonding moment. the canon is bending itself to the will of fanon rather than building on the pre-existing complex relationships. Tim barely even gets along with his most important team in Dark Crisis: Young Justice because it seems the only important relationships the Batfamily can have is with each other. and when we do see them outside of the Batfamily, it only seems to be to relive the glory days like with World's Finest: Teen Titans, instead of developing them as they currently exist. this isn't recent in the comics, it feels like you can trace it back to the New-52, but it does feel a *lot* worse over the recent years. WFA is fine when it exists in its own bubble, but the simple truth is, DC content never exists on its own. the adaptations will reflect back onto the comics. (the damage the Young Justice cartoon has done to some characters should honestly be studied) and so it does frustrate me a bit when fanon-only or adaptation-only fans act like we're being nothing but killjoys for being frustrated with this. since they don't read the comics, they don't see how the comics are suffering as a result of this.
people argue about what's out of character for the comics they don't even read. i'm sorry, but "bad dad Bruce" is consistently canon. that man is just kind of shitty. when you take someone who has the drive he has, who has this need for the Mission first, who needs a teenager in spandex next to him to keep him off the ledge, that guy is sort of going to be a shitty father figure. he just is. not on purpose or with malice, but when you compare him to any other dad in a big DC family, he sure takes the cake. it's why characters like Oliver Queen tend to *really* fucking hate Bruce for how he treats his kids. Bruce loves fiercely, but he doesn't do well with putting that love first. and his love is a controlling one, he is very particular about controlling how others in the Batfamily are "allowed" to operate. it's what drives the wedge between him and Dick, it's why Steph is never a true daughter to him. (besides the reason of her needing to be a love interest to Tim first, anyway-) i've never understood the massive outcry of people reacting to Bruce kinda being shitty in comics they're not reading. there are some moments that get ridiculously OOC with how cartoonishly evil he is (the whole Gotham War arc and that... complicated mess with Jason) but largely if you want sitcom loving nuclear father Bruce, you have to accept that is a fanon thing, not a canon one. the Batfamily being a nuclear family in *general* is fanon. most of the "Batkids" don't actually see Bruce in a particularly fatherly light and begging for moments where he calls them his kids or they call him dad outside of incredibly specific circumstances is just OOC.
it's getting harder and harder to exist peacefully in this fandom it feels like, if you don't comply to the standard fanon has set. i'm happy people are having fun with their blorbos, even if in ways i dislike, but that "harmless fandom fun" does ripple it's way back to canon, eventually. so i end up pretty tangled with my feelings because are fans at fault for DC making these poor decisions? probably not, but it certainly feels like an unfortunate cause-and-effect situation whether at the end of the day, nobody is happy. and of course, i know some fanon-only fans are striving to be more canon accurate and care about canon dynamics more than others, but for them it's always going to be an uphill battle with the above-mentioned out-of-context panels thrown around and ever-pervasive fanon overtaking anything that's truly seeking to be canon compliant. so really, it sometimes feels like we're all losing.
#necrotic festerings#batfamily#batfamily meta#dc comics#fandom meta#fan studies#fanon vs canon#i deleted paragraphs of this to try to make it shorter. it failed btw.#anyway i got into comics when i was like 12 with the dark knight returns#and if i hadn't been into this medium for a decade i don't think i would be able to get into it as an adult so i get it#bc i'm trying to get into marvel comics and fuck ME am i confused as fuck.#do marvel comics have like. an equivalent to crisis events?#is the ultimates like their version of the new-52? i do NOT know#it's so hard and daunting so trust me i get it#if you never wanna pick up a comic god i respect you you're so right this is fucking miserable#i want to live and let live in fandom but *god* i'm struggling here#i used to bend to the will of fanon fun fact#i wrote my share of tim and jason fics playing into fanon tropes. god i hate them *now* but they did fucking numbers.#and i used to care more about getting attention in fandom than being accurate#i've matured now. it's why i write on anonymous so much to remind myself this should be for me.#anyway i could do a character study on every batfam member as fanon vs canon#ESPECIALLY tim and jason. i know so much about them trust me.#jason todd fans annoyed me so much i once sat and read almost every fucking jason comic. i didn't even like him.#but i tell you what i know that man and he will never leave my top five characters on league of comics.#this is so long. is anyone going to read all of this.#if you do you're a fucking trooper i'm saluting you.#this isn't even all of my thoughts i had to condense myself.#bc i also have thoughts about how this means some characters no longer get to exist outside of the batfam#because they only exist as a member of the unit#ergo we have very little current content of helena bertinelli or onyx adams or duke thomas
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Me: I'm not going to keep reading Gotham War as it releases, I'll just wait until it's over and just get angry once at the end instead of being angry every week.
Also me: *does not do that, keeps reading the garbage fire, keeps getting angry*
#look it's not like i don't get the point here and it's not even like i can't see BITS of good stuff#like i haven't complained at all about bruce because yeah i get what they're doing and that's fine#SOME of the characters have had MOMENTS of good writing#as long as you ignore the core premise and how fucking stupid it is that any of them are going along with it#and you only care about the main four Batboys and are willing to accept some real up and down writing#and don't care at all about duke or steph or cass since the people writing this CLEARLY don't#everyone who argued that the premise isn't totally terrible because the kids aren't SUPPORTING selina they're just not fighting her#owes me $20 and an apology after Batman 138 explicitly negated that argument#also the timeline continues to be a goddamn mess and everything is contradictions but whatever it's not like it's a giant PLANNED crossover#where you could have figured this stuff out#i want to suckerpunch whoever brought scandal into this what are they doing to my girl i hate this#i dunno man i have a lot of thoughts that boil down to 'this didn't have to suck this bad' and it's a shame that it does#Batkids teaming up against Bruce because he's out of control? I am actually very on board for that! In theory! If it was good!#alas#comics talk#gotham war
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Bruce showing someone his kids' pictures from when they were little: "And this is Jason--"
Jason: "That's a picture of Tim, actually--"
Bruce, fumbling with his wallet: "This is Barbara when she was younger--"
Babs: "Steph isn't even a redhead, how are you messing this up?"
Bruce: "This is Cass--"
Steph: "That's literally a cropped baby picture of you. What are you doing?"
Bruce: "You can't see it fully but this is Alfred with Dick--"
Damian: "That used to be a picture of me and Grandfather."
Bruce: "Here's a picture of Tim."
Batkids: *examining it*
Tim: "That... actually could be anyone."
Damian, simultaneously: "It's not ugly enough for Drake."
Bruce, oblivious to the fight breaking out: "And this is Duke."
Duke, spitting out water when he sees it: "How the hell do you have that?"
Dick: "Well at least he's two for ten."
Jason, going through the photos: "Why are some of these fucking stock photos?"
Dick: "You think that's bad? He's got a picture from the circus with Tim circled in the crowd."
#batman#personal#bruce wayne#batfamily#dick grayson#jason todd#Crack#Shitpost#Batpost#textpost#Long post#Damian wayne#Duke thomas#Stephanie brown#barbara gordon#Wow that's a lot of people to tag AHHH#I give up#I'm too weak
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"au where (insert one Bat here) gets sent back in time" delicious.
but also give me "au where (insert Bat here) is sent back in time and has no idea ALL of the other Bats were also sent back in time because they ALL think they were the only ones and not a single one is telling the others and it creates the most hilarious dynamic where shit keeps changing (because they all want to save their family, friends, etc. from pain/create a new life for themselves where at least their family is happy and stable) and the everyone is slowly going fucking nuts trying to figure out why their family isn't doing the same thing they had done before in the previous timeline"
Bruce: i have to save my children from every bad thing that ever happened to them and I will BE a better father this time. i read so many books and i went to therapy... i should continue therapy. maybe i can save some of the rogues from themselves while i'm at it. hey why are my kids acting weirder than usual did i break them? dick is not as angry as i remember, jason doesn't want to be robin even a little bit, tim is actively avoiding me and my family, cass is chasing tim, damian is far less murderous than he should be... i know i begged talia to let me raise him earlier but i feel like he's adjusting to this easier than he should be... and duke doesn't even have a reason to be here yet but i'm not complaining?
at least steph is normal. i don't know why she's here far ealier than before but she's stealing my food and using the credit card i gave her with reckless abandon but that's normal and good
the kids: what the FUCK is up with B?
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Ok I had this rotting in my mind for days now
Bruce *going live as brucie Wayne because he saw a tweet about him saying he was acting weirdly (it was actually damian shit posting) and paranoid abt his identity he decides to up the brucie effect to 100* : and then he winked at moi! Like, can you believe itttt~
Dick *kicks the door open, bursting into the room full on sobbing* : bruuuceee
Bruce *immediately stops what he was saying and gets up to comfort him* : what's wrong chum?
Tim, steph, cass and duke *run into the room in various levels of crying*
Bruce *actually starts to panic* : kids?
Damian*walk in sniffing* : baba!
Bruce *pale and looks about ready to cry himself* : what's wrong?who was it? Give me names,descriptions, anything-
Jason-youre-not-my-dad-i-dont-live-here-fuck-you-mothefucking-todd *walks in red-faced and barely keeping it together*: dad..
Okay, picture this we've got Bruce pale and sweaty, holding a still sobbing dick and and surrounded by steph,cass,duke and picking damian up all quietly crying and/or sniffing and we've got tim pressing his face to Bruce side, shoulders chaking and then jason of all people starts sniffing and Bruce literally goes even paler (of that's even possibe) and pulls him in
Bruce : What's wrong? Talk to me, sweetheart
Dick : it-it's they- * Starts wailling*
Bruce : they? Who's they? Did you get their names?adresss? Social security number?
Steph : n-no it's not- *hiccups and buries her face on him, you can hear her crying*
Jason :..I don't think I'll ever be the same
Bruce : from what? What is it?
Barbara * Wheeling in, popcorn in hand, eyes red and sniffing:
Bruce : Barbara?
Babs: hey b
*Que lots of sniffing*
Bruce : what's going on?
Babs:Oh, we watched a movie
Bruce: excuse me?
Babs: Yeah, grave of the fireflies, man that was heartbreaking
*higher crying*
Bruce:
The next day
Headlines go like this :
*brucie Wayne secretly just a loving father*
*brucie Wayne threatens whoever hurts his children*
*Wayne children being dependent on their dad no matter how old they get*
Social media similarly is bursting with :
"I love how he was ready to commit murder for them lmaooo"
"Is it just me or did brucie just get 10 times hotter*
"Man, dick grayson crying is something I didn't know I needed, that man is such a pretty crier"
"Damn, I love how tim drake and Stephanie brown just buried themselves in their dad"
"My God I always thought damian wayne was bratty but he's actually really cute?"
*God brucie holding damian, dick and still hugging all his other children is so hot"
"Hold on, isn't jason todd dead?"
(And no, this isn't me projecting. grave of the fireflies did not emotionally destroy me. What?)
#they're my babies#batfam#dc universe#batman#bruce wayne#brucie wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#stephanie brown#duke thomas#cassandra cain#damian wayne#jason todd#barbara gordon#social media#bruce is so done#bruce is a tired dad#bruce is a good dad#give him break tho#my poor babies
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Gojo can't stop thinking about fucking Geto's girl
MDNI- Explicit Yandere Gojo jerks off thinking about you, Geto's girlfriend
Part 2>>>
Part One
Satoru Gojo is thinking of you, Suguru's pretty girlfriend, as he's taking a break in his office, locking his door, pulling out the pretty picture he stole from Suguru's phone of you. You're laying on the bed in nothing but a little garter belt and stockings, fuck it's his favorite, how many times has he stroked himself to it?
He's picturing being between those thighs, having your cum pour all down his lips, while he unzips his dress pants, his cock already straining against his boxers. By the time he releases his cock, precum is dripping out of his pretty pink tip. Fuck, imagine your tongue lapping it up, as you look at him with those eyes.
His head leans back against his office chair, that huge leather one you'd look so pretty in, or perhaps on his desk, bent over, your ass in the air. He scrolls to the next picture he has, one he took of your ass under your skirt. He probably shouldn't have, but he needed a good picture of it, to picture his hand print, as he fucks you so good you're drooling all over that polished cherry wood.
Satoru moans softly as he pumps his cock, up and down, swirling his hand and shutting his gorgeous blue eyes, his white lashes fluttering shut, pretty pink lips parted. Imagine pumping into you, no it would be wetter, wouldn't it? He spits on his cock once, twice, three times, using the white bubbly liquid with his precum, huge hands stroking his veiny cock, imagining that perfect pussy.
"F-fuck... you're so tight, aren't you? Oh, am I too big? You can take it, can't you, brat?" He whispers, as he keeps pumping, picturing railing you right here, picturing your moans, your cries.
He shouldn't think of his best friend's girl, he knows it, but you're all he can think of, now he's pinching that tip, and more precum is pouring out, little pearly white drops, he'd grab that hair of yours and pull it, arch your back, pressing that ass out for him. As he beats your pretty pussy up, he's getting closer and closer now, stroking faster, little whines from his throat as he whispers your name.
Fuck your name sounds good on his lips.
Satoru starts cumming then, picturing filling you up so full, so full your stomach is pumped, cum dripping down your pretty pussy, feeling you throb around his cock. He'd fill you over and over, until you're dripping for days, until he bred you, babies in your tummy, over and over. Keep you pregnant, keep you at his home, fuck you on every surface. His cum is spilling out as he moans, white streams all over his cock, his hand.
He winces, shaking at how intense it was, then he hears a knock on his door. Panicking, he quickly wipes himself up, putting his pants back on and clearing his throat. He opens the door, slicking back his white hair, and it's you. Fuck you look so pretty in your little sundress, perfect for him to raise up and fuck you, isn't it?
But Suguru is right behind you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, making Satoru roll his eyes. "Hey Satoru! Missed you!" You hug him then, your perfect breasts pressing against him, fuck if he's not hard again, as Suguru walks in your office.
"Missed you I guess." Satoru grumbles, making you giggle, and he's just picturing cumming all over your gorgeous face and-
"The fuck, Satoru!?" Comes Suguru's voice then, and you both turn to look, as Suguru Geto is holding up the phone, with the naked picture he stole.
Well, shit.
Disclaimer I guess- Yandere behavior isn't cool IRL, just in fiction with Gojo and Geto lmaoo <3
Part 2
Full Gojo fics of mine: Cruel Duke Gojo story here - Sweet Lawyer Gojo here -Psycho Yandere Gojo here - Cocky CEO Gojo here - Gojo Drabbles - Oneshots
#satoru x reader#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#jjk smut#gojo smut#suguru geto#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere gojo#jjk satoru#jjk oneshot#jjk drabbles#gojo drabbles#jjk gojo#gojou satoru x reader#jujustu kaisen#satoru x you#satoru x y/n#satosugu x you#satoru gojo x reader
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Threesome🔥
going a bit off script on day 2 because i'm a HEATHEN anyway enjoy
Ship: Worst!Logan Howlett x f!Reader x Wade Wilson
Rating: 18+
Wordcount: 776
Warnings: cursing, smut, threesome, Wade Wilson is his own warning, unprotected PiV, anal (f!receiving), use of petnames, kissing, cocaine mention
Series: Leg's Tuna Tober
Your mind was fucking shattered.
Deep, guttural grunts rumbled from Logan beneath you with every deliberate thrust. Sharp canines scraped along your overheated skin. Whispers of "you're doing so good, baby" filtered from between his clenched teeth. His sweat-drenched skin was nearly sticking to yours due to your proximity. Barely a centimeter of space was left between the two of you.
It didn't help that Wade was on top of you, thrusting into you from behind, bearing his full weight on you as his hands fisted in the sheets. His wet tongue traced down your spine. Shivers erupted across your back in brutal waves.
"That's a good girl. Taking us so well. Isn't she, Wolvie?" Wade mused, voice muffled from where his lips connected with your skin. You gasped as a quick hitch in Wade's thrust nearly jostled Logan out of you.
"Watch it, red," Logan growled quietly. His large palms clung to your hips in near desperation. Gripping at your skin so tight you knew there'd be bruises in the morning. Not that you minded.
A light laugh rumbled against your back, "Feeling possessive, are we, Lo? Afraid I'll take our sunflower away from you?"
"Just shut up and fuck her, will you?" Logan said over your shoulder. He pressed a quick "sorry" behind your ear with a gentle kiss. You couldn't help the quiet moan that leaked from your throat.
"Let's make a game of it, shall we?" was all the warning Wade gave before he suddenly pulled out. You whined at how empty you now felt, craving both of them inside you every waking moment of your life. Wade ran a gentle hand down your back, "Shh, it's alright, angel cakes. I just wanna see if Lo-Lo's up to the task."
"The fuck is wrong with you, Wade?" Logan asked, propping himself up on his elbows to throw the merc a heavy glare. Now no one was focused on fucking you. You muttered obscenities under your breath as you buried your nose in Logan's shoulder. These two couldn't stop bickering for five minutes, let alone a whole night with just the three of you.
"I just wanted to challenge you, Mr.Not-a-Duke. Which of us do you think can make our sunbeam here come the fastest?" Wade offered with a cocky grin you could hear.
Logan scoffed, shaking his head, "I think you already know the answer to that."
"Yeah, and it'd be me," Wade returned.
"You must've taken some brain damage, because you know it'd be me," Logan bit back.
You groaned against Logan's neck, then nipped at the thin skin under his jaw, "Will someone please just fuck me?"
A shudder rolled over Logan's shoulders. He peered down at you through narrowed eyes. You could practically feel the seconds tick by as he remained still, just staring at you. Unease settled around your ribs. Logan was an impossible man to read, even at the best of times. When his pupils were blown, chest rising and falling with heavy breaths, and his cock was inside you, it was even more difficult to gauge what he was thinking.
"Start a timer," he instructed Wade, gaze never leaving you. Arousal reignited in your abdomen like a stoked bonfire.
"Yes sir," Wade said with a wide smile. You heard rustling behind you as Wade grabbed one of the three phones on the nightstand.
The world spun without warning as you were flipped on your back. A gust of air shot from your lungs at the impact with the bed. Soft lips brushed along the skin under the hinge of your jaw.
"Go easy on me, huh? Wanna prove Wade wrong," Logan whispered in your ear. Flames licked at your skin, goosebumps rising in the wake of the Wolverine's gentle touch. Callused fingers grazed over you as light as feathers.
"I haven't started the timer yet, cheater! Any more unsportsmanlike behavior and I'll lock you out," Wade groused loudly. Logan breathed a chuckle along your collarbone.
"I'll just break the door down," he said as he threw you a wink. It took every bone in your body to keep your eyes from rolling back in your head.
"Break another door and Blind Al'll hide the cocaine again. When she hides shit, that stuff stays gone," Wade mumbled indignantly. Logan ignored the merc, fingers trailing ever-so slowly down your sensitive skin. A choked moan kicked out of your chest when Logan's thigh brushed against your swollen clit. Wade's wrinkled hand entered your periphery as he tapped on Logan's cheek, "Did you hear me, resident senior citizen? No cheating!"
It was going to be a long, long night.
may need to continue this in a future fic...
taglist: @ripleyswife @just-a-nightdreamer @venomqueen2002 @c1eepypas1a @www-interludeshadow-com
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#wolverine#hugh jackman#logan howlett#marvel#deadpool and wolverine#murdock tuna team#ryan reynolds#wade wilson#deadpool#wolverine fanfic#deadpool fanfic#logan howlett fanfic#wade wilson fanfic#deadpool and wolverine fanfic#poolverine#poolverine fanfic#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x reader#deadpool x reader#wade wilson x reader#poolverine x reader#poolverine smut#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut#wade wilson smut#deadpool smut#tuna-tober#tuna tober prompt challenge 2024#promptober
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More of Stanley's sketchbook because he makes me sick /pos
(Just imagine he was looking in a mirror at the subway to draw this anshfhwj. The london bus ticket is unrelated, it's just a random knick knack he had lying around<3)
People weren't the only ones Stan met on the streets.
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+ this is an absolute fucking batshit WILD oneshot I initially wrote for these drawings that got WAY out of hand, if you feel like reading that.
The oneshot below is a stand-alone now, and in no way is related to the drawings above, but I just wanted to show you guys because Jesus Christ
------
Winter of 1981, at a subway station Stan doesn't remember the name of-
The sorry excuse of a transport system that this hellhole of a city called a functioning subway was hardly anyone's first choice of a warm place to stay the night. And yet, here Stanley was; standing like an idiot in the middle of a small bustling stairwell that led down to the full screeching chaos of a train stop on a Tuesday evening. A rowdy crowd of exhausted office workers streamed out like a tidal wave from the entrance of the station, the bustle of their footsteps all too eager to go home and relax after a long day of work.
The faint, stuffy stench of old piss and sweat followed the crowd to the surface from the deep depths of a less than sanitary and overcrowded train station. The pungent smell intermingled with the crisp stinging winter air in a cocktail of shitty city gloom often associated with this time of the year; when the holidays were too far away and the sun seemed to come and go with practically the same 9 to 5 schedule as the workers had, leaving them going to work in the pitch dark and coming back out in the inky black as well.
He might have looked like he belonged there, depending on how one would want to look at it. He stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the sea of prim, pressed suits and neart uniforms. His ratty old jacket and generally unwashed appearance certainly didn’t help his case, but he also knew that stations like these also tended to shelter quite a number of homeless wanderers like him, especially during the winter. So, it wasn't exactly uncommon to see other sore thumbs seeking reprieve from the biting cold and the dangerous likelihood of frostbite from within the enclosed walls of the subway station.
Heck, if most of these underground kingdoms didn't also happen to be a breeding ground for several illicit activities, he might even have followed their lead. But, believe it or not, Stanley's already had enough experience with illegal activities to last him a last time, and he isn't looking for a new fill. He was satisfied with what meager shelter his trusty car offered him, as little a difference it might make in terms of safety.
Stanley's obstruction of the already narrow stairs with his loitering went unappreciated, as shoulders roughly shoved past him and swinging briefcases repeatedly bumped into his sides, usually coupled with a nasty glare and a snide comment or two. He paid them no mind, however. He wasn't here to start a fight with some random bum with a dead end job, as much as he thought it would probably do them both some good to duke their stresses out on one another.
The hours ticked by with wave after wave of new crowds being dropped off by a train and left to pour out of the station into the streets. By the time the streetlights turned on and the pale pink in the sky slowly faded to make way for the stark glittery black of the night sky, the tide of people had slowed to a trickle and rush hour was long since over. He was now the stairs’ sole occupier, with a few occasional stragglers stumbling up the steps and hurrying past him without a second glance.
Stanley did not move from his spot, however. He stood resolutely in the middle of the stairway, fervently rubbing his arms and stamping his feet in a futile attempt to try and regain feeling in his extremities as he waited. Rocking on his heels, he titled his head backwards to let his eyes roam the constellations that carpeted the endless expanse of the sky stretched out above his head, almost losing himself in the scintillating canvas of stars.
It reminded him of old times; of the sparkling beach sand twinkling in the dim moonlight, and the soft sound of lilting waves hovering in the background as he lay back on the cold wooden deck of his ship and watched the stars dance.
He still remembered every name his brother had once recited to him time and time again as he pointed out each star and galaxy from the night sky.
Then, like clockwork, he was broken out of his reveries by a telltale meow coming from below. The sound was a familiar blanket that immediately melted away the tension that had begun to build in his chest as he practically sagged with relief.
His body moved almost automatically as he leaned down to detach the frail tabby cat that was attempting to literally fuse with his legs, purring up a storm and rubbing her head against his pants as though her life depended on it. The cat gave a soft chirrup of dissatisfaction at being manhandled, which Stanley absentmindedly replied with a chiding click of his tongue as he lifted her up his chest and gently tucked her into his jacket in a practiced motion.
She thankfully remained blissfully limp in his grasp as he shifted around some more so that she was nestled comfortably inside the dark pocket of warmth inside his ratty jacket. The tiny warm lump that rumbled contently against his front radiated with heat, and his fingers finally began to feel like actual fingers rather than useless stiff frigid lumps of meat and bone attached to his palms.
A pointed cough startled him from his clumsy wriggling to get the cat to settle down. An oddly familiar security guard stood at the entrance of the station at the bottom of the stairs, leveling Stanley an unimpressed look with the metal gate in his grip already halfway closed, ready to seal the subway for the night. He must have been a comical sight; caught awkwardly bent over while trying to get his newly acquired cat to stop kneading biscuits on his stomach, with said cat peeking out from the gap between his collars.
Stanley faintly recognized the guard. He was a much older man, with a shock of thinning white hair neatly tucked underneath a dark blue cap and a strange depth in his eyes that reminded Stanley of the sea; with countless unspoken truths lurking far beneath the surface, but no less grand and knowing of all that the universe had to offer, as though he had already lived a thousand lives before this one.
He had seen the man around before, at another station, doing the opposite of his job by ushering stray buskers and homeless stragglers from the streets and into the (relatively) safe walls of the subway, instead of doing what any other law-abiding security guard would do and kick them out into the elements. He wasn't sure what the older man was doing here, of all places, since all the previous stations he'd seen the man at had been several states over, practically on the other side of the country.
A brief spark of panic shot through his spine at the thought that this man could be following him, but he quickly discarded the ridiculous notion as soon as it entered his mind. He had never even seen him before, and hardly ever even interacted with him; there was no reason for there to be any sort of bad blood between them. Unless he happened to be related to one of Stanley's many, many enemies, then perhaps his fear was a little warranted.
However, the old guard made no move to attack or do anything other than stare judgmentally, almost expectantly. For the first time in a long time, Stanley felt like a child being caught doing something he wasn't supposed to do. He tried his best to keep his uncomfortable squirming to a minimum under the unrelenting gaze, stubbornly returning the man's gaze with his own wary glare. His cat’s muffled whining came from inside his jacket. The traitor, she was leaving him to deal with the old man on his own.
With an exasperated jerk of his head, the security guard gestured towards the inside of the station. For a moment, Stanley stared dumbly, uncomprehending of what the old man could possibly want from him. Rolling his eyes, this time the man gestured more insistently at the small gap that still remained between the metal gate and the entrance, his arm sweeping the air in a low arc as he dramatically urged Stanley inside. Suddenly, it clicked, and Stanley shook his head.
“I have a car,” he said plainly, his voice echoing loudly in the desolate silence of the winter night that surrounded the unlikely pair.
He wasn't sure why he was so nervous, it wasn't as though he was lying. He did have a car, his trusty Stanley-mobile was parked safely away in the corner of an unassuming alley that wasn't often frequented by anyone. There was no way he was reaching it tonight, though; it was practically on the other side of the city, much too far away for him to arrive at a reasonable time. His nightly excursions to meet his small friend unfortunately left him with no other choice than to leave his car behind, the hunk of metal far too unwieldy and noticeable to drive around openly on the streets. He never knew who could be watching, after all.
He had simply been hoping to find himself a dark corner to tuck himself into with his cat, just for the night, but it seemed as though the universe had other plans. Or rather, this strange old man had other plans.
Although, if Stanley thought about it, the subway wasn't such a bad suggestion. This was one of the safer stations in the city; and with the rich neighborhoods being so close by, no rogue criminal or dealers dared to come near this area unless they wanted to be slapped with a hefty fine or face a higher potential to be arrested. And of course, there was the obvious shelter from the unrelenting cold that now seemed to permeate his bones, even with the purring warmth that was nestled inside his jacket.
So, that was how he found himself hunkering down for the night inside a shabby old subway station, with a satisfied cat still rumbling away against his chest and a strange old security guard locking down the gates behind him. The man said nothing as he hooked his keys back onto his belt and gave a firm pat on Stanley's shoulders as he walked past him, pausing to scratch his cat behind her ears before moving away. His footsteps bounced off of the grimy tiled walls with an odd reverb as he turned a corner.
“You'll be safe in here,” the man said, voice sage and gravelly. The words had a weight to them, and seemed to hang in the air with such a presence it was as though the old man had never even left his side.
The subway was empty, quiet. It was such a stark contrast to the loud rowdiness of the rush hour crowd these halls once held. Stanley hadn't yet registered the utter silence of the station as he aimlessly made his way down the winding, deserted halls of the ancient station. He mindlessly walked past the aged and peeling advertising posters plastered on the walls, his nose becoming accustomed to the stinging stench of the subway. The quiet seemed to swallow the sound of his steps as he explored the branching paths and endless tunnels. They were almost kaleidoscopic, dizzying, nonsensical. There were doors where there shouldn't be, and deadends where it didn't make sense.
The silence only began to truly settle in his bones the more he walked. He suddenly wished that he would head the telltale footsteps of the old security guard again, just to hear another sign of life in this underground hellscape other than himself. The ghostly memories of screeching trains and bustling crowds haunted the halls; now, only nothingness reigned supreme. He glanced down at his small feline companion, who slumbered away against his chest, blissfully unaware of his jackrabbiting heartbeat threatening to burst out of his ribs. The silence seemed to permeate every inch of space and crush the air out of his lungs. He couldn't breathe.
Stanley’s steps grew faster, more frantic as the walls and ceilings seemed to close in on him. They grew smaller, tighter; squeezing, trapping. He hardly even registered his cat's complaints as she was jostled around in his grasp, breaking into a full out run. His breathing sounded loud, too loud, and the world was collapsing around him.
When he finally broke out into a large, open platform, he could finally breathe again. He had arrived at the tracks, the empty tunnel where the trains would pass an empty, gaping maw in the wall that seemed to swallow all light around it and beckon him closer. He felt his cat wriggle out from within his jacket and hop out with a displeasured yowl, scampering away and disappearing behind a corner much like the old man had. True silence pierced his ears and thrummed like a deafening pressure in his temples. He was alone.
Stanley was stuck in that subway station for years.
#i only have the Paris and Korean subways as frame reference so i have no idea what american subways look like#just imagine the paris subway system- i heavily used it as a reference to draw and write these since it's#the only subway that I know AND looks 1980-ish enough to pass#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls fanfiction#gravity falls au#<-ig???#there are mirrors in subways right- I've seen a lot of curved wall length mirrors at subway stations#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#stanley's sketchbook#tw liminal space#tw horror#<- I mean eh- my horror writing skills is sub par at best#cats#tw scopophobia#tw staring#on the other hand- stanley being friends with street cats!! so cute <33#you can visibly SEE in the fic where I completely lost my grip on the story from 'sweet story about cats' to 'oh my god what the fuck'#my art
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The pub scene is even funnier when you consider that poor Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets has likely had this longtime pash on Aziraphale and, like everyone on Whickber Street, he has no idea who exactly The Ginger Goth With The Old Car is. He knows the prevailing theory is mafia but Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets has seen Ginger Goth hanging around Mrs. Sandwich and her "Sandwich Shop" and also around the bookshop a bit and also some naked guy was also at the bookshop recently, so... what's the likeliest conclusion drawn by Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets? That the old bookseller's lonely and paying for it.
He sees them come into the pub and thinks Aziraphale is classy like that and is taking the sex worker for a drink first or maybe that's part of it-- he's gone the whole 'boyfriend experience' route. Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets sees Aziraphale with that chest stroke of that Thin Dark Duke he's paying and while Mr. Brown (of Brown's World of Carpets, just FYI) isn't here to judge and gets it as he's lonely, too... and while he does think the bookseller picks some hot ones... he wants to give Mr. Fell the real thing. The kind of love you can only get between two middle-aged, still-sorta-closeted queers like they are. He'll be someone the bookseller can talk to and find some genuine chemistry with, Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets will be, so he decides to shoot his shot and knows the bookseller is skittish from their past interactions, so he goes for the meeting option. He'll have to come over to drop off the chairs, of course. Give them an excuse to talk more, alone, when Mr. Fell is not, erm, entertaining.
And poor Mr. Brown--President of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Association, Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets is-- fine, upstanding, boring as all holy fuck fella... He's met by Crowley coming over with drinks and a greeting that says this is neither the first time, nor, he doubts, will it be the last that he's had to Husband the bookseller but again, Mr. Brown of Oh, You Know By Now thinks this is a bit, so he's not intimidated.
"I was just absolutely hitting on him for real, unlike you," is what he basically told Crowley when explaining what they were chatting about.
And Crowley's like lol you got him flustered enough to host this meeting. Good on you, Mr. Whoever the Fuck You Are from Whatever Shop You Run. Look at you *go*. 😍 I've got a new favorite human, Aziraphale.
He's all "you astonish me" to Aziraphale, teasing him like you're leading the poor, balding bastard on, angel. I know it's hard for you to reign in your divine sex appeal but you should maybe try. His heart is only human, after all.
Mr. Brown still thinks Crowley's a sex worker though so he doesn't give up and is all like remember, Mr. Fell, our date is right after work on Thursday in a group setting to set you at ease but I'll see you first to set it all up because I want you and I want to make sure you know I'm not just here for the business meeting.
Crowley: That's it-- I'm adopting you, Ballsy Mr. Carpet. I like your style. But you'll never wear my angel down. We've been married for 6,000 years. I am definitely up for saving you from some demons on Thursday though and making it rain on you and literally any fruity, single shop owner in the greater metro area next season. You're on the deck after my shop lesbians. Now piss off, Mr. Barnes. We haven't been to the pub in ages and you're in my seat.
#ineffable husbands#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#mr brown#of Brown's world of carpets#good omens 2#aziracrow
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FATHER, CAN I DIE?
✶﹒ platonic yandere! manhwa fathers x suicidal/overworked daughter! reader
summary : maybe they should just lock you in your room to make sure that you won't do something dangerous.
a.n : i plan to make this a series, what do you think?
abel heilon
let's start with the most chill platonic yandere! out of the guys that i will feature in this post! abel heilon, the duke of the north with a simple mindset of 'if you mess with me then i'll mess with ya' we all know how protective he is with fiona and siegren. but just imagine, what if— just what if he has an illegitimate child who's related to him by blood that he hid from the public's eyes.
anyways, the first time he met you. he became sure of one thing. damn, you were indeed his child. with that silver hair, blue eyes and personality of yours— you were indeed his child. he can't deny that because you looked like a kid version of him. well, it's not like he is denying it tho— but what the fuck is wrong with your brain anyways?!
he doesn't know if you were abused before he met you. but why in the hell are you so obsessed with suicide anyways?! why the fuck are you even throwing yourself in battles when you were a support mage?! for the fuck sake! stop! yes, you have above average amount of mana! but the hell?! you're not as strong as fiona nor siegren! stop it!
if it's not for siegren then he wouldn't know the fact that you happily greeted the assassin that was sent by the imperial family. according to him, before siegren saved you from the assassin you even have the guts to propose to that damn assassin about committing suicide together since according to you, you have fallen in love with him— hearing that story, abel couldn't help but facepalm. (first name), you're thirteen! and that assassin is already thirty-six or worse, older!
maybe because of the stress of managing the north and keeping you safe from your suicide attempts. abel finally snapped.
look, abel likes watching you enjoying your freedom. but damn, if he doesn't do anything about this— he might end up burying you before you even reach the age of 18. he won't hurt you, he swears. that was the last thing that he will do to you. but that doesn't mean that he can't take preventive measures to make sure that you were safe.
platonic yandere! abel heilon was one of the chillest platonic yandere that existed. he will let you do anything that you want, he won't take away your freedom nor hurt you. he isn't also overbearing to the point that it was suffocating. but don't make him snap, because he can be the most suffocating and controlling parent existed.
now, on your sixteenth birthday— to celebrate it. you decided to jump onto the freezing river near the manor. you expected that you'll wake up inside your room— but no. when you opened your eyes, you were inside an unfamiliar room that has no windows. seeing that you can't use your magic, you were sure that there's a magic restricting device placed around here. what the hell is happening?
the door had opened, you looked at who it was and saw abel looking at you with a smug grin. you tried to ask him what is going on but instead of replying— abel only ruffled your hair saying that it will be only him and you from now on. and that was when you realized one thing— abel had taken your freedom away from you.
but abel didn't care. cry until you have no tears left, he doesn't care. the only thing that he cared about was keeping you alive. and this is the only thing that he know to achieve his goal. but don't worry, he will visit you everyday and give you books to make sure that you won't get bored. so, can you stop being a btch and appreciate his efforts?
he doesn't care if your eyes lost its usual enthusiasm and spark. he doesn't care if you stop eating at some point— because abel can shove the food inside your mouth to make sure that you stay alive.
oh, by the way— fiona was the one who made the room where you were staying now. she just wanted to make sure that you were safe! and the only place where you can be safe is the place where you can't use magic! so, forgive them, will ya?
“should i just cut off your arms? so that you won't be able to use your magic again?”
gallahan lombardy
okay, as far as you know— you are not really a suicidal type of person. but for your father, gallahan lombardy you are. because for gallahan, overworking is another way to try to kill yourself after all.
gallahan is a sweet person, i swear. he won't hurt you at all and isolating you? no, no, no, gallahan won't do that! but he still couldn't help but become paranoid when it came to you. you were way too focused on studying— maybe because of the pressure that you were getting from the other people.
your sleep only lasted for two or four hours, you always isolate yourself inside the library. and gallahan didn't like it at all— look, you need to take it easy and rest. the only time you leave the library was when gallahan and tia drag you outside to eat in a cafe or buy new clothes.
platonic yandere! gallahan loves to spoil you. you wanted to buy books? here you go. want to try home-cooked foods? sure, he'll cook it for you. do you want to go to the festival with tia? alright! as long as he will go with you two.
but then, a certain event made gallahan snap. it was a normal day and gallahan entered the library to drag you outside so that you could socialize with the family. but then, he saw you unconscious on the floor, buried in the books and your nose was bleeding. gallahan was panicking, he didn't know what to do. what if you don't wake up? what if something bad happens to you? or worse— what if you die? if it wasn't for shananet who saw her younger brother's panicked face and her niece's condition. then gallahan won't be able to calm down and call the family doctor.
and what is the doctor's diagnosis? you were overworked. and after hearing that, rulac lombardi, your grandfather along with your auntie and uncles saw how your father's face darkened while looking at you who was peacefully sleeping on the bed.
and then, after that incident. you couldn't help but become confused when gallahan didn't scold you— instead, when you woke up. you saw him smiling softly at you. he didn't even ask you to take it easy. he just lets you do what you want.
but what you found odd was your father started giving you foods and drinks everytime and after consuming those things. you started feeling tired and before you knew it, you always ends up asleep. and once you woken up, you were already on your room. with tia cuddling with you while your father was asleep while sitting on the chair next to your bed also asleep.
knowing how innocent your father was, you never suspect a thing. you just kept on eating and drinking the things that he was giving to you. and you never questioned why you always get tired after it. your father loves you so much, so he wouldn't do anything— right?
plot twist, gallahan actually puts drug on your food and drinks to make sure that you will take a rest and never overwork yourself again. but a year later, you started losing your sense of sight because of it. but gallahan and tia don't care when you have them? oh, just thinking about their sweet (first name) being dependent on them was enough to make them very happy.
“sorry, honey! this is just a precaution, okay?”
#manhwa x reader#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere headcanons#yandere manhwa#yandere manhwa x reader#platonic yandere#platonic yandere x reader#gallahan lombardi#abel heilon#tw. yandere#tw: force feeding#tw. isolation#tw.dark content#tw: drugs#tw: obsessive behavior
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How do you think bruce would react to a Robin pile situation?
oooh this is a fun thought. i think it depends *entirely* if you're working with a morally stable Bruce or a Bruce who's a little fucked up and dead dove-ish. somehow, i think it's actually more fun if it's a completely stable Bruce bc that adds so much more drama and issues if Bruce is deeply unsettled by the idea. if it was maybe just Jason and Dick or Jason and Tim dating that's sort of understandable. Bruce knows that while he may see them all as his sons (except Steph bc do know Robin pile will *always* include Steph for me and tbh Cass too as an honorary member. they're all going in the pile.) but he understands that doesn't mean they see each other as brothers. he respects the nuanced and complicated relationships scattered across all of the Batfam.
but if all of them are *dating*? or at the very least sleeping together? that raises a lot of logistical red flags. the most obvious one is the age gap of it all- at the biggest gap you have Damian and Dick who are an easy fifteen years apart, meeting when Damian is a kid. not to mention how many of them have tried to kill each other at some point. it shouldn't work and Bruce doesn't like that it does. Bruce has a history of wanting to control the relationships of the Batkids when he disapproves. and so he'd absolutely try to break them up. at first, he paints it purely as a logistical issue. saying it's smartest not to bring feelings into work and that this is dangerous. i think it's especially fun if this happens at a time when Bruce doesn't approve of Steph or Jason so that *also* plays into it, he doesn't want either of them near the ones he currently considers to be his family. he says he wants to protect them and wants to keep them safe. he tries to appeal to who he thinks would be more logical and listen to him the most. first Dick, and then when that doesn't work, Tim. and when neither of them listen, i *do* think Bruce would stoop to the low of trying to break them up by fabricating internal conflict between them, hoping to divide and conquer the weird polycule it's become.
while i don't think Bruce would be jealous in the sense he wants to be included, i *do* think he's wildly dislike the Robins having this close bond that makes them trust each other implicitly more than they trust Bruce. they will defer to each other before him and clearly keep things from him. he'd despise that. it's an inner circle he's not let in on and it makes him lose aspects of control over some of them, especially Damian who's the youngest and his son, who Bruce deserves the most control over. he would drive himself mad about it. at first for genuine reasons over the perceived fucked up nature of the relationship (even when each of them have confirmed that it is entirely consensual and they're happy) and to protect them. but he becomes so bitter over being ignored. they openly prioritize each other over him when the truth comes out because they see no point in hiding it. and i could definitely see Jason gloating about how he's back in the family whether Bruce likes it or not. Bruce would be beyond pissed about it. he's just never recovering. trying to stop them gets nowhere, even if he manages to cause some internal conflict.
eventually, Bruce would be forced to accept it for fear he would lose all of them. but he's *not* going to be happy about it and he keeps making side comments, hoping to get through to one of them eventually. it doesn't work, but he's definitely not going to stop trying. i also think on some level it would just disgust him a little bit in a visceral way, since they're his kids to him and he doesn't like to picture them in that way. esp when Jason or Steph lean heavily into PDA just to fuck with him. ass grabs, cuddling, sloppy kisses, the whole nine yards. Bruce will not have a moment of peace.
#necrotic answerings#robin pile#robincest#batcest#i do think fucked up bruce is also fun#but that answer wuold be more straight forward and expected#just. he creeps on them and tries to join and probably succeeds. the end <3#it's fun but i find it more fun if he's just. grossed out by it#like he's trying so hard to break them up#and he can pretend all he wants but it's purely personal reasons and disliking that he's not in the inner circle#i'm so seirous about including steph in robin pile btw#AND DUKE#let them in on it.#i'd say maps too but i'll be honest i don't know enough about her to. care honestly i'm so sorry#and i dislike helena wayne as a robin (new-52 when i catch your ass) so i don't include her#and i love carrie but i think she should be kept to her own world and not forced into the main one#i dislike seeing “incorrect quotes” that include carrie bc like. why is she there. take her back to her world free her from these shackles.#but gods i adore robin pile#i usually include cass just bc it feels weird not to#it's the same energy as “cass isn't here bc she's in hong kong :) doing hong kong things :)”#like sure technically cass was in hong kong for a lot of the comcis but we all know why.#and cass wasn't a robin but she (and steph) aren't included in a lot of batcest and we all know why.#so i include her. i just think she deserves in on it.#let her fuck her brothers stupid <3#i love the emotional conplexities of robin pile a lot#the smut is good. but so are the feelings of all of these characters are so chained together by this mantle#they just can't escape each other.#it's good shit.
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chapter five dialogue spoilers
— masterlist !
"you don't fucking understand jason!
— i don't need your help, or anyone else's. you have never been there for me! never been there for all the times i suffered because of your death! so don't even try to make a difference now!"
"— no way, did you dare scold me just now, jason. out of all the times i nearly got killed, you decided to save me by the time i accepted my death?! this isn't the first fucking time this happened to me and it wouldn't be the last."
"hell, the only first that happened this time was that one of you actually came to save me, so don't you fucking belittle me and call me impulsive and selfish when i can and have handled all this alone."
"jason... i don't want to be his favorite, i never want to be, fuck—!"
"i never wanted to be an athlete like dick, or as academically talented like you, or some crazed detective like tim, or as skilled as an assassin like damian! i don't even have the determination steph has or barbara's perseverance to continue fighting alongside all of you! i can't even reach cassandra's level of fighting, and i certainly don't have powers like duke!"
"— all of you guys are so fucking talented, and here i am, so pathetic for thinking i can reach the same level as you all when i can't!"
"i just can't, jason! so how could i have the damn audacity to desire being bruce's priority when each and every one of you are beyond my level?!"
"i never wanted to be bruce's favorite, jason! i just..."
"... i just wanted to be his child."
"i just want to be selfish for once... i want to see him the same way he looks at you back then, every damn time he stares at your grave, while i watch by the fucking windows, wishing it was me he looked at."
"i wanted him to look at me, and think of me as important as you, or even just a semblance of it..."
"god, i don't even want him to see me as a priority, i don't want him to see me and think i'm the best damn thing in the world, but i want him to stare and think, 'this is my child,' without any second thoughts, without any regards for my dirty fucking past."
"... we're not even siblings anymore, we're just strangers to each other—"
"that's not true, angel. don't even... don't even think of saying that..."
"why are you trying so hard to push us away?! push me away right after you.. you opened up?!"
"because we're not family anymore, goddamnit! care for me, care for me like you care for all those strangers getting mugged in the street! not as my brother—!"
"i am your brother, (name)!
and i care for you, more than you can ever fucking imagine, so don't... don't fucking push me away! not especially right after i almost lost you!"
a/n: hi guys, sorry for the random inactivity. i've been at an all time low with depression and that directly affected my motivation to write. lately, imposter syndrome alongside self-esteem issues did hinder me from commiting to writing events, and most especially this series. it's a very loved one, i know, for all the comments, thank you a lot for supporting me. but sometimes there're times i'm close to nearly deactivating this account. for everyone hoping for the next part; i don't know when, or how i'll be able to, but soon.
#🧁... yael's misc.#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere dc comics#yandere batfam#yandere jason todd#yandere angst#platonic yandere#yandere red hood#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere
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So, the headcanon that ghosts fight to socialize, and also to teach baby ghosts how to use their powers, right?
Johnny 13 is in Gotham. No particular reason, he's just hanging out. He manages to goad the day shift bat kid into a motorcycle race! Fuck yeah, what's better than harassing high school aged superheroes?! Anyway, he and this kid are tearing up the streets and the kid whips out some crazy fucking shadow powers. Um? What happened to Batman doesn't like metas??? (Obviously Batman isn't actually prejudiced against metas, he just logically doesn't want to deal with superpowers + fear toxin and shit, but... his PR could use some work on this front...) Well then, Johnny has crazy fucking shadow powers too, so OBVIOUSLY he needs to compare notes with the yellow kid. By escalating.
Duke Thomas is having a No Good Very Bad Week. This crazy blond dude on a bike is TESTING HIS PATIENCE. And is a total bad luck magnet, the ONLY reason nobody's gotten killed by their chases is that Duke can see when something terrible is about to happen just in time to prevent the crazy coincidence of the moment. Also he can drive through walls? Duke learned that he can take his bike through shadows, that's pretty cool, but this whole situation is still very frustrating. HE IS TOO YOUNG TO HAVE A NEMESIS!!! He asks Babs to run some facial recognition magic and the only match is some guy who died in a motorcycle wreck like twenty years ago??? Duke compiles a file to present to the Batfam, fully expecting them to call him crazy when he explains his theory that his nemesis is a ghost.
Batman: That tracks actually. I've dealt with a dead highwayman who calls himself Gentleman Ghost, and there's a ghost on call with the League. Here, have some nth metal gear, it's ghost proof, good investigating :)
Duke: *TheSignal.exe has stopped working*
Duke finally manages to catch his ghost guy! He goes to question him about why he feels a need to be such a nuisance.
Johnny 13, grinning, not answering shit: Hey, you guys are detectives or whatever right? Have you ever tried hiding in the shadows under someone's clothes to stalk them?
Duke: ***TheSignal.exe has stopped working***
Duke: WELL NOW I'M GONNA
#it is of the UTMOST IMPORTANCE to me that duke thomas is just as feral as the rest of the batfam#dpxdc#i have an elaborate headcanon about why johnny 13 is Like That vis a vis his luck and sentient shadow but it is not the point of this post
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Okay okay but consider possible batfam fic idea:
so Bruce is in an emergency justice league meeting that got called but because its taking place at night he has a comm on in his ear playing at a low volume because all of the batfam are out on patrol around gotham covering his patrol route for him and because you know B is a paranoid, overprotective fucker he just to make sure everything is going smoothly for his kids but he doesn’t plan on actually letting them know he’s tapped into their network because he can already hear the lecture from Dick about trusting them to take care of the city.
So he’s listening to them quietly while also paying attention to Clark talking about some alien diplomacy issue and his kids are YAPPING away about the stupidest shit to one another cause they don’t have B telling them off for ‘unprofessional unnecessary chatter while on patrol’ and you’re getting a mix of all the dynamics between them all and the longer the meeting is going on the more B’s eye is just TWITCHING because his Dad senses are just going hay wire and he is just here like ‘I cannot say anything in front of the league because they cannot know I have children cause I'm Batman and I work alone blah blah blah’, usual brooding, but Damian and Tim are squabbling with one another about a rescue that took place an hour ago and Dick is challenging Jason to a parkour contest and Steph is challenging the Riddler to a riddle off with riddles she made up and have no answer just to piss him off and his dad sense is just like an alarm going off and then he just cant take it anymore cause Duke (pretend he’s on nightshift to make up for the man down or smth idk shh) says something like ‘I'm going to do my book report in the morning Richard leave me be’ even though Bruce KNOWS he isn't going to do it in the morning, this has happened before they have an AGREEMENT, a CONTRACT god damn it but they don't know Bruce is listening to the comms Duke just goes something like “its fine B won't even find out!” and Bruce just LOSES it there and then and just presses his comm and goes “NO. No, stfu all of you I am taking charge here” and he just starts going off on them all for the different things they were whining about like
“No Signal, go and do your damn book report right now you are not going to be doing it in the morning you always say you will and you never wake up early enough to get it done so then you end up speed doing it in the car while nearly stress crying and I am cannot deal with that while running on 49 hours of no sleep so go and do it right this damn minute. I am TIRED, I am tired boy go. GO. I love you, goodnight.”
“N go and unload the damn dishwasher. I asked you four. FOUR days ago to do it and A is not coming home until next week please I am begging you I have been drinking my coffee out of bowls and a straw for days now. Thank you, I love you goodnight.”
“Red Robin. Put the coffee down. No- I know its in your hand I can feel it. I can feel it in my BONES child you cannot hide from me, down. Now. Good. Get a piece of fruit and go to bed. No I don't give a fuck if- no. I don't care if the pentagon has laughably easy security to bypass right now it has been over 72 hours since you closed your eyes I WILL call A I will, I’ll do it right now. I’m calling him right now- good okay goodnight. I’m sending Dick to check on you to make sure you’re actually sleep. I love you too goodnight”
“Robin I know you're there. Damn right go to bed, Titus can go with you yes you don't have to ask every night baby its going to be the same answer, I love you goodnight.”
“Hood and Spoiler stop trying to goad rogues into fighting each other and go home. Hood will you- thank you. Goodnight I love you both....no S I will not ask Ivy if she’ll make you real life lil shop of horrors plant to leave at your ex’s house please stop asking. Goodnight.”
"C are you- I love you too."
And he just lets out this enormous, patented Dad sigh and looks up after a few moments and realizes the entire justice league is just watching him absolutely GOBSMACKED because oh my god how long has this been going on for?? because like what the fuck this was cold, calculated, ‘they think he's actually a robot’ Batman, who just all of a sudden just went BOOM father mode is activated, this is a patriARCH, you know? Daddy bats alright. And he's just like, his facial expression doesn't so much as twitch but a light blush just appears on his entire face and then Clark is just like HEART EYES and Hal is just like HEARTEYES (??!!) and Barry is suddenly having a sexuality crisis because what the fuck is this, and Diana is just like, speechless but in love and he just mumbles after a few moments “...you can continue your speech Clark I apologize for my lapse in professionalism” and Hal is just like “NAH MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE NOT BREEZING PAST THAT WHAT THE FUCK SPOOKY??” and then the entire situation just devolves in chaos.
#ithese are all kinda ooc but shhhh i live in a fishbowl#idk i just want tired single parent bruce doing his best with his chaotic gremlins#dont ask me what timeline this is in because i got nothing for yall#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#dc#dick grayson#batfam#stephanie brown#tim drake#damian wayne#clark kent#hal jordan#barry allen#diana prince#wonder woman#superman#green lantern#the flash#nightwing#red hood#robin#red robin#duke thomas#cassandra cain#superbat#batlantern#wonderbat#spoiler
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Are they dominant or submissive in bed?
ft& Childe, Wriothesley, Scaramouche, Neuvillette
Childe: For him, being the dominant one in bed is something he loves. Childe prefers being the one on top, doing the work while you lay there all pretty, taking it like the obedient girl he made you for him. That doesn't mean that he doesn't let you be the dominant one on occasion, he likes a challenge, be it testing his own limits or that of his partner. But most nights he is far too impatient for that, instead indulging his desires and rashiving you for himself. "Archons... you and your body—drives me crazy," whispering into your ear as he moaned shamelessly, before long releasing his fluids deep into your needy pussy. "Fuck—one more, baby, yeah?" one more would turn into two and then you both would lose count, knowing it would never really end up as only one more.
Wriothesley: As for the Duke of the fortress of Meropide, he is similiar to Childe except he is a patient man, he would let you be the dominant one, watching you struggle and end up pleading for him to help you which eventually turns into full-blown rough sex with him, just what you both needed. Wriothesley would adore taunting you when you try being dominant, it's in his nature to tease and all the more if it's his sweet lover, trying to switch things up in the bedroom. Most times it ends up with him, releasing his pent-up frustration on you, you gladly take it all—enjoying the way his fat length rams into your hole, the wet and squelcing noises filling his office. "Mm...are you close? Yes? Well, hold it, sweetheart. You don't deserve to cum yet, you need to earn it." Purposefully teasing you even as tears fill your eyes, the way he was pinching your nipples harshly not helping in the slightest.
Scaramouche: The dominant one. Nothing else needs to be said here, he doesn't like feeling vulnerable and having you be in charge, just feels so wrong to him. Due to him being a puppet, his stamina is insane and he isn't easy to please, so he would much rather be in control. He would have you spread out, legs wide open as he smirked at the sight of your pussy clenching around nothing. Normally he would tease you and make you beg but when he gets too impatient, he would simply enter you without any warning, adoring the way you moan in pain and pleasure at the stretch. "fuck...you're so tight—loosen up a little, will you?" His words wouldn't get any less mean, your fucked out expression only making him more turned on, his desire to make you break deepening.
Neuvillette: Sweetest man ever. He is fine with anything you want, you want to be on top? Your wish is his comman. You want him to be in charge? Of course. He would do anything for you, no matter how unreasonable of a request. You have him wrapped around your little finger, and you love it. Even when he has you in a mating press, ravishing your body and using you for his pleasure—which you absolutely love when he does. But on a typical day after completing the long piles of paperwork, he considers it a reward to have you bent over his desk, his big, fat cock fucking into your dripping cunt, that's the sweetest reward he could get. "You feel so warm...I didn't know I needed this, maybe I should have you as my reward like this more often, hm?" His sweet praises were music to your ears, telling you about how good you were doing for him. His soft groans and hot breath on your neck makes you all the more needy for him.
#genshin smut#genshin x reader#childe smut#wriothesley smut#wanderer smut#scaramouche smut#genshin impact imagine#neuvillette smut#genshin impact smut#neuvilette x reader#ajax smut#tartaglia smut
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