#forever home and forever life together
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Total funding amounts to $125.3M.
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laughing and having fun with your favourite person is certainly the best feeling in the world. i too wouldn't leave after a mere 15 years wtf
#forever home and forever life together#dan and phil#dnp#phan#phil lester#amazingphil#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#danandphilgames#my gifs#mine
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Read a fic yesterday. The messages I sent my friend pretty much sum up my emotions
#It was the last chapter too.#The entire fic it was them together#talking about their plans#How they would grow old together with children and come home to love#How they would be eachother’s forever#They spilled their souls into one another.#And though the threat of war was always there it was written as though they would win#All these dreams and all these passions would come to life#But they never did#Gods I love unexpected character death.
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maría for the ad astra zine! lc u will be missed T_T
#lalin's curse#maria lalins curse#maria navarro becerra#OUUAHHHHGHGGGGG#Stop i miss lalins curse so bad. ough.#sorry i hsve many thoughts do not look at these tags theyrre long#i always had a feeling it wouldn't come back but i'm still so sad like thats my daughter........ my kids.... for reals...... i was#around their age when i started reading and now i'm like 19 they shouldve grown up with us FUCKKKKK i miss rhem so bad. timeskip davias.#i think i spent like an entire year with the lc/delete worms it's one of the smaller fandoms#that ive been in so i'm surprised but also there was SO much going on in thzt damn comic. hwhere is church boy WHY VALOR THE BUS DRIVER#i remember getting ownership of the fandom wiki and spending an insane amount of time on the home page and fixing it all jusr for fandom t#COMPLETELY CHANGE THEOR LAYOUT i think that killed the vibe for me tbh. fanodmwiki alwyas at the scene of the crime#Whahteverrrrrrrrrrr#what ever man.#seeing it go is so sad like ik it'll be revived eventually but OUGH the comic was so well done. i still recommend it so bad even though its#a terrible cliffhanger (itd ok we know what happens)(Lie)#i still need to own delete one day. Ill learn spanishtrust me. idk isaky art changed my life so much i'm so glad she won snowmiku and got s#many insane opportunities I hope she always wins forever. rhe four other laliners that follow me i hope you are still here. hiiiiiii#putting this zine together with all my lc oomfs was so nice and it's such a nice farewell to the comic AUHH go check outthe others plz#okau over. Lc changedmy life sorru#art tag
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Wyldfyre and Roby are actually so cute tho like these stupid kids are in love I'm happy for them
#the romance roaring 🥺🥺#they're so silly I hope she takes him home for the next fire dragon family reunion#not really an endgame couple to me (I kinda dislike “characters who got together as young teens end up staying together for life” stuff#outside of jaya. it's just not a realistic trope and I like when romance is cute and wholesome and doesn't have to be forever)#but yeah they're cute#ninjago#dragons rising#ninjago roby#ninjago wyldfyre#what're we calling them anyway#ninjago spoilers#dragons rising spoilers
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25 year old Bonnie, after trying to get friendships and relationships of their own, now realizing how buck wild their family is: What do you guys mean you guys decided to spend the rest of your lives together only after knowing each other for a few months
#'bonnie you did too' 'I WAS 10'#isat#bonnie isat#isat spoilers#also older bonnie having a slight crisis over the fact that yeah they really were really close to not having their isa mira sif and dile#in their life like yeah time loops but also... say thinks went well and the king was killed no problem... they would have gone home to their#sister and then... who knows maybe it would have gone well but it might have been the last they saw of their family#and thats scary to think about especially since that day went so many ways but only in one of them did they agree to travel together#makes you wonder about chance meetings and trying to build normal relationships#especially with the context of being a savior of vaugarde it must be kinda weird for them#anyway bonnie retroactively being baffled by their ride or die family is funny to me#tbf the family also probably has regular friendships too but bonnie's main point of reference for healthy relationships are 4 wild af people#who decided to risk their lives to save the country (5 if loop is there) and then decided to just keep hanging out forever plus their sister#who is probably figuring out this stuff on her own anyway so prob cant give the best advice#rip bonnie trying to find a balance between not really befriending anyone and 'hold up Ill bury the body for you' crew
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Everyone thinks it was Jack who asked Davey, but it was the other way around
Jack is a flirt but anything serious and he goes into full-on-crisis mode
Davey is like ok then let’s fUckin go. Do you like me? Amazing we’re dating now.
#conversely Davey has no idea if anyone is flirting with him#you have to TELL HIM TO HIS FACE because he WILL NOT figure it out#jack will flirt until the cows come home but shies away from anything serious because he doesn’t believe anyone could like him#he craves intimacy but also pushes it away#he runs from any serious connections because not only does he think he doesn’t deserve it but fears losing it#in his life: everything good is taken away#why take that chance?#that got really serious#they’re gay disasters#theyre so cute#they’re always together and always gay#javid forever#javid thursday#javid newsies#newsies#newsies 1992#seize the day#newsies stage show#incorrect newsies quotes#jack kelly#davey jacobs#they’re gay your honor#Davey is so blunt and I love him for it#jack is good at saying things without saying them#they’re perfect#the other newsies want to yell at them but they’re just so dang cute#newsies broadway#newsies movie#Kenny Ortega did his best for us 🏳️🌈
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Wherever Whenever
#connections#tranquility#beauty#just us#peaceful#be in the moment#get lost together#couple#live life#home#feel it#enjoying our energy#vibes#only the few#intimacy#today tomorrow forever
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for people who have anxiety but live alone anyway: how do u deal with the panic? I live with 2 other people and still have bubble burst moments of random fear that only gets soothed by putting myself in someone else's eyeline. what do you do when the catastrophising starts???
#my body has a lot of random weird pain frkm 26 years of bad things and every time im like#i should have written a will its really happening this time im about to drop dead#so i skitter around the house to stand close enough to someone else that theyd hear me if i fall over LMAO#insane behavior i know. i have a mountain of medical anxiety bc of my grandparents#but like i cant even wrap my head around what id do if i felt that way and was alone 24/7 at home#panic forever???#who makes you eat and shower bc its sure not MY executive function keeping me alive on the bad days LOL#id wither away if i lived alone i think#kinda sad my life went a way where thats never going to happen tho. to the end of wanting to know who id be#how would i dress and act and decorate?? eat?? what kind of dishes would i get. throw blankets too#what would i learn abt myself etc its an iteration of me that will likely never happen bc im happily married#hmmm#ur always going to wonder about the lifestyles you didnt have. thats normal#but it does make me wonder what i would have been like if i had friends and my own space#oh to be a fag making out with his friends in the privacy of his own home#or maybe thats just how i feel bc were literally married and have never been able to afford to live alone Together lol
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#our tentative christmas eve dinner never materialized#because my mom needed to focus on making christmas happen tomorrow - she does so much#but instead we ended up having several wonderful times all together in the kitchen laughing today - which is amazing#I am so grateful to be home with my family this year#because I wasn't the last two years#and until this year there was so much stress in our home that it was unbearable - now there's stress outside but peace inside#and I'm home - and home is home again - in some ways more than it's been in a lifetime#I have cried with thankfulness a few times#God is so good and he has brought me back - when i thought i had lost my home forever#I suddenly realized all this last week in the middle of a video with the song “I'll Be Home for Christmas”#and started outright crying right then and there in front of my computer - and later again when praying at bedtime#I had multiple good conversations with my siblings today and yesterday#and did crafts with my sister#and had fun times and talks with another sibling#which was especially meaningful given some things that have happened lately#it was so good to laugh together#christmas#life#my life#thankfulness#grateful#thankful#God is good and he has answered many prayers#together#family
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my brother can make me laugh without moving at all. he can make me laugh on command, just by existing, and there is no physical tell or indication that it is about to happen. it’s like he can will me to laugh and i will. of course we’re not telepathic, but we do speak in unison sometimes. we improvise like no one’s business. we could fool anyone into believing we are psychically linked. when i try to explain it, i sound silly saying it out loud, but i really CAN tell what he’s thinking. we exchange so much information just with a look. he can make me cry laughing and he doesn’t even have to move
#i miss him so much i need him back i need him to live next to me again. i need to mooch off his wifi from my porch and invite him over#i miss him so much.#he’s only 2 minutes younger but he feels years younger. and yet i think we’re two halves of one soul#i’ve always babied him not even in a mean or diminishing way but i felt this need to protect him#because he tends to be so naive and so shy#but. i am so proud of him. i need to show him off to everyone and i need everyone to understand how funny and charming he is#it feels like i grew up and left him where he will remain 11 forever. i miss him more than moving back home can fix#i miss him in ways that have nothing to do with the distance between our locations#but. it would certainly help to be able to see him every day#i keep smelling the carpet in his room and it’s so vivid. i remember the countless hours we spent developing huge wood block cities#and we would drive hot wheels over the wooden raceways we had made. we were actually quite coordinated and autistic about it#we were always building things together#just recently me and him talked on the phone about an old mlp au we came up with. all original characters and shit#it was super extensive and very clever#i STILL think it would make a really cool book series or something#i remember watching him play army men RTS gamecube on the wii. i STILL listen to the soundtrack to that game like…. daily#i remember walking into my room once where he was watching a show. and he was crying#and he NEVER cries over tv#but he was crying because his favorite character had resigned from the organization that the series was based around#and he was so distraught that she was leaving.#i remember when all 3 of us slept in one room. i remember when me and him were in bunk beds across the room#and we would sneak out of bed right as the parents left and stayed up playing by the light of the nightlight#the way we raced back into bed when the parents were approaching 😭#my mom always says she’s sad that i seem to remember so little of my life. like every story of my youth is news to me lmao#but i feel like i remember the most important parts? i think so#i remember how mom woke me up in the night to ask me to roll over because my bro could see my face from where he was sleeping#and he was scared because there was a weird shadow cast on my face that made it look like a skull which was making it hard for him to sleep#it was. so funny. i begrudgingly rolled over#i don’t know. it’s just that there isn’t a single instance i bring up that my brother does not also remember.#no matter how tiny or specific. we shared everything growing up
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idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?
#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love#and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me#she is. the most important person in my life#and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her#like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this#if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh#what more could i ever ask for#but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right#even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be#in just over a year#when she's making enough money for it#she plans on moving into a place of her own#which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing#i thought we were going to move into a house together#i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke#but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t#give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs#its what sufjan would have wanted#fucked up terrible no good week
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😊
#it always feels so nice whenever i do things i just kinda. never imagined myself doing#aka 'i didnt think id have friends ever so i was just going to hermit forever' kgjdjdjsjs#its more 'i dont think people would like me enough to hang out' so.#but yeah....#i got to talk more to this guy x at work who started the same time i did#so he and i just kinda vibe and are honest w each other#it was nice just chatting about life and all that#he didnt have a ride home so i offered him one and thats just something i didnt really think id do#idk bc it was more spontaneous and i feel id be too anxious or think 'oh god maybe he doesnt like me and would feel weird'#but we actually vibe so the ride was super chill#IT WAS CHILL UNTIL HE MENTIONED STAR RAIL AND I WAS JUST 'DONT SAY THAT#but yeah.#idk.#its that thing of 'try to be the friend you wished you had'#x is cool tho hes funny#i was just surprised he said hes quiet when he started. he was not quiet at all when we first had a shift together jdfjdjdj#orientation buddies ig sjfjdjsjs#ANYWAYS#i also started training on my promotion job and its been nice. a little overwhelming but skfjdjd its not bad#friends tag#avil speaks#it was just a nice day today haha#SORRY i just am mush lately about friends. believe me itd be worse here but djfdjjd you know. have to shut up.#otherwise its like everyday 'man.... i like my friends. my friends are so nice. i wish them happiness and warmth'
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Dammit heart why are you like this ik she's like the exact damn girl you would've thought up to be as attractive and friend as humanly possible to me but you still don't have to be this whiny about it.
#yknow i was pretty settled on thinking i was aro for a few years there and um now lets just say there are questions#like idk ive been sexually attracted to close friends before and this is different#but on the other hand does it fucking matter because we're not gonna be a thing longterm#and holy shit am i having a hard time coping with that#i figure ill get over it i have before#but on the other hand idk ive been so lonely and she came back into my life and i was naïve enough to think#that we'd live together and be a thing long-term and that things were going to be okay and id found someone i could be with forever#and that meant so much to me as someone who's always feared being alone and being aro and living in such an allonormative society#as well as heteronormative and mononormative(?) and generally not cool with deviations from the nuclear family#and i thought that yknow ill still have trouble finding friends prob but ill have someone i can come home to be with at the end of the day#and then ofc reality happened#fuck man i see why allo people are so fussed about breakups now#oh yeah btw irls if you know who this is about just like idk dont tell her this i want to communicate some of this to her myself#and the other parts frankly i dont want to share because itd feel manipulative#so yeah i love her#oh and if anyone has read this far an encouraging dm is more than welcome
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it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone 😭😭😭😭#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreak‚ not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
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just cried in the shower thinking about my bf !! who have i become 😳
#love changes you!!!!!#anyways all i can think about these days is how i am restraining myself from telling him i am in love with him lol#weve been dating only like 2.5 months i feel like its a short time but at the same time i feel like ive been with him forever like it feels#like years… and we talked about it he feels the same…….. like ive had him in my life forever#the other night i brought him home and we always talk in the car for a very long time and at some point he just looked at me and said#something like ‘you know youre my best friend and my confidant.. i dont know what id be doing without you’ and i almost started crying#because i feel the same like we are best friends and then also everything else like physical attraction and all of that but we have so much#fun together 🥹#and it made me think of ‘you are in love’ by taylor swift when she says ‘one night he wakes/strange look on his face/pauses then says/#youre my best friend/and you knew what it was/he is in love’#🥺🥺🥺#sorry for being so corny i just love him so much#oh and since he works at a small cinema in our city he has the keys to the cinema… and we sometimes go there late at night when no one is#there and watch whatever movies we want in the theater lmao#the other day i wanted to start watchingthe office with him because he never watched it and i think hed love it but we ended up not being#able to watch it at my house… so that night he took his theater keys when we went out and took me to the cinema to watch the office there#🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 oof#anyways……. im so in love its embarrassing
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#theres this feeling i get sometimes. i find it very hard to articulate. its part despair and part awe. dispair at how beautiful the world is#all those intricate little process coming together to organize the chaos. i dont kno y i feel it so deeply or y it hurts so much#because its just. no matters what horrible things r going on in the world. ur body is this miraculous collection of chemicals and reactions#mobile containers of water with a history that spirals back billions of years. and you can hear and see and experience and reflect#and when you die the world goes on spinning without you. if we as humans destroyed this planet past the part of our ability to inhabit it#it wouldnt even matter. there would be continued life past humanity. cosmically we r tiny and insignificant and we dont matter#but were beautiful and wonderful and infinity complex and knowing that leaves me in agony. because i want to kno everything right now but#mind is too small and i walk around with the disorientation of someone whos just been hit in thr face ans i cant focus enough to read#cant make the words make sense and i cant justify the time it would take to try. so i sit on my deck. in the sun. crying as i think about#how the light hit the grass in my front yard the last time i was home. how the cliffs in the backyard are ringed with red lines of iron#separated out as the water leached through the sandstone. how every avaliable surface is stained green as organisms reach upward toward#the sun. and its beautiful and i dont kno y im crying. maybe its bc i cant just throw everything aside and chase that feeling. im not#allowed to feel it. im not allowed to talk abt it in the way i want. bc im afraid no one cares as much as me in the same way. bc when i#talk abt what i study its obscure and academic and so far from what most ppl think abt that they get intimidated and dont try to understand#so i just try not to talk abt it. or maybe im just afraid. bc i have my 1st TA meeting tomorrow and i meet with my new advisor friday#and im worried and im afraid i wont b able to do this in a way that doesnt make me feel like im dying. bc i like to b busy and i like having#a strict schedule but if u throw me that knife im going to stab myself with it bc i dont kno how wield it as a tool without hurting myself#sure ill get the job done. but at what cost? whatever. ill try to b better this time. try to hold tight to the wonder. but that feels like#reaching out into forever. knowing ill never make contact. not knowing what im reaching for.#the closest approximation to the feeling i can find is that scene in the terror. where go0dsir is asking if god is there. any god. and it#doesnt matter bc he can see god in the landscape. in an environment that's so harsh and barren that its killing him slowly in the worst of#ways and its beautiful. its still beautiful to him. there is wonder here. and im wasting my time laying in a dark room crying bc i put#myself into a container so constrictive that the surface snaps and i come spilling out as an angry liquid. smearing away into nothing#unrelated
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