#forcing myself back into this hyperfixation
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When David kisses angel he does that slight dip thing that makes angel hold onto him tightly, therefore making them kiss harder
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted david#redacted angel#forcing myself back into this hyperfixation
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uh oh I committed the terrible artistic crime of shading with black, throw me in jail Immediately (ノω<。)ノ))☆.。
all jokes aside tho, I don't really know what I was doing with this one, I just felt like experimenting and throwing stuff together for fun :0 still on the Hitman kick for now but who knows how long it'll last lol
please do not repost. also on deviantart
#hitman#agent 47#hitman fandom#hitman world of assassination#hitman woa#io interactive#fr tho this hyperfixation might only last for like#a few weeks at most#i do wanna get back to drawing OC stuff again but i'm just kinda trying to force myself to draw in general#and shifting towards fanart instead of original stuff might be good as a bit of a mental reset
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okay but you know that weird space between hyperfixations where you still love your old one but you’re also starting to get invested in other fandoms and absolutely nothing is all consuming anymore?? cause i think i forgot how weird it feels and honestly i don’t even know what to do with myself.
#i’ve been hyperfixating on the grishaverse for over a year#and i think it’s just now turning back into an interest instead of an obsession#idk what to do with myself cause i don’t want to stop hyperfixating on it#but also don’t want to force it in case i stop loving it altogether
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ayo more doodles and some eye expressions lets go
#moontale#undertale au#ivis#ivis (from the undertale au moontale)#undertale#ivis (character)#undertale original character#utmv#utmv oc#doodle#sorry for the drought here my brain has sorta been elsewhere#i'll come back to this eventually#crossing my fingers#love this lil au but i don't wanna force myself to work on it yunno#whenever i do hyperfixate on it my attention pretty much just tunnel visions on Ms Universe over here and thats pretty much it
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Lol I'm having an anxiety attack so I'm doing that thing where I go on social media to distract myself and pretend like the actual world isn't wording around me, and I keep coming across Gravity Falls content that makes me SO happy so essentially I'm just like
"Oh god. Oh god. I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm drowning- AWWW LOOK AT BABY BILL CIPHER. My world is ending and I'm standing on debris waiting for a tsunami- AWWW STANLEY PINES IS BEING ZAINY AGAIN. God, I love that guy!!! Existence is pain."
#personal post#it doesn't help that my gravity falls hyperfixation is to blame for why im so behind#like in the back of my head i know im being self destructive#but drawing art and looking at content for this makes me sooo happy and i hate that i have to force myself away from it#when i so badly want to escape into fandom content and have fun#but now im not having fun because im so stressed and im also STILL not getting shit done#worst of both worlds ugh
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the insatiable urge to redraw every single picture of landoscar I come across
and the unfleeting sorrow of not having the time or energy to do so
why must I suffer so in this life
#still haven't finished the piece I've been working on for the past 2 days eurgh#technically I could probably sit myself down and draw all the landoscar I want but#don't really fancy turning myself into a literal content machine#would like to keep my soul thanks#also my CoD hyperfix just came back full force at like 1am yesterday??? so that's inconvenient#nebrain#landoscar
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Regarding the tags of my last post
I always see people say things like "teehee new hyperfix dropped x3" and stuff like that, which is great! But I never really see people talk about the negative effects having a hyperfixation can cause. I'm sure people DO talk about it, ofc, I just haven't seen it myself.
For me personally, I absolutely hate hyperfixating on things. It's so fucking hard to deal with sometimes.
It's so difficult to maintain any type of conversation without relating it to my current hyperfixation. Some days are easier than others, but the past few days have been INCREDIBLY hard for me. Whenever it starts getting hard to maintain conversations, I start to isolate myself away from others and either talk at a minimum or not at all because I'm afraid of coming across as annoying(this is harder for me to deal with because of what an ex put me through). I accidentally overtake conversations by relating them to my hyperfixation and I don't want to do that at all.
I get so excited and happy when talking about it, but I draw myself back because I don't want to be overbearing. I also draw myself back when people aren't matching my excitement because I feel like I'm just bothering them with things they don't really care about.
Sometimes my hyperfixations get so bad that I start to neglect myself and the space around me just so I can focus on it.
I always buy... Way too much stuff. Related to my hyperfixations. I will spend absolutely ridiculous amounts of money on things.
It's hard to do anything that isn't related to my hyperfixation, like work, sleep, self care, important tasks I know I HAVE to do.
I genuinely was crying earlier because I felt THAT annoying for talking about it. I want to hang out and talk to my friends I've had for years SO badly, but I don't want to take away from what they're doing by bringing up my hyperfixation and making the topic about that, so I just don't talk to them.
I'll go back and delete messages I've sent just because if it goes unanswered long enough I'll start to feel like I'm holding other people up from talking about their interests
Maybe none of this makes sense and it's just a me problem. I don't know.
#idk how much of this stems from how my ex would treat me. I just want to be??? normal#i just want to like things a normal amount.#hyperfixation#autism#?? idk. im not good at tagging.#this post is about gravity falls btw its always been my biggest hyperfixation. until my ex told me to shut up about it and stop relating#everything to it. he called me annoying and got mad at me. so i forced myself to hold it all in and not talk about it at all.#it literally saved my life and he made me stop caring about it.#i think i finally separated from my gf hyperfixation in 2018 because of that.#and now its back and its just as big of a hyperfixation it always was. and im having to deal with all of my normal hyperfixation things#on top of all the added trauma of my ex and its just really hard.#idk. I'm gonna stop talking now before i make myself cry again sorry
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"I'm glad we're together" WATCH ME CRY BRO WTF😭😭😭
#praying google translate is accurate rn cuz i don't wanna embarrass myself🥴#i was worried i was losing my hyperfixation on nh but NOPE it came back full force✨️#i'm ready to have my heart broken again LET'S GOOOO#no home#no home manhwa#집이 없어#webtoon#eunyung baek#haejoon goh#ey hj parallels
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anyways replaying btd as the gods intended
#forcing this hyperfixation back on myself#i dont have a choice because im not giving myself a choice#lix’s textposts
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me, a few days away from my period, watching Daryl edits to get into the headspace to edit the Daryl fic (that has no smut) and most of the edits are severely horny, making my hands itch to open a doc and write smut: stay focused, stay focused, stay focused, stay focused, stay focu-
#I am so not used to the cage of editing anymore#I have gotten used to typing blind paragraphs fuelled by hyperfixation and not looking back#NOW I HAVE TO FOCUS????#now I have to FORCE MYSELF TO BE PRODUCTIVE???#damn#sundrop speaks#daryl dixon fanfiction
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Honestly, knowing this event is (presumably) ending on my birthday is already the best gift I could ever get
#negative#from a viewer perspective it’s been a mixed bag#the lines between rp abd cc’s just goofing around feel really weird a lot of the time tho#which is more a me issue ig- idk- I still don’t know how I feel about this all and conflicts and stuff- I’ll have to wait and see#just rly wish it didn’t happen in the middle of so many big personal arcs#the streams have mostly been fun- cuz I the streamers are making it fun#from a fandom perspective it’s been hell and I want to go back to how things were before this badly-#not even in a ‘annoying fans’ way but a ‘wow everyone seems upset all the time’ way#anyone remember Halloween? Halloween was fun….#im just tired and nervous that this is gonna be a Doomsday level event where everything’s gonna be miserable for awhile fandom wise#but like……. I am The Worrier so- lol-#idk……. might try to force myself to take a break tomorrow- just not feeling it rn#can’t even like indulge in hyperfixes or pre-purgatory lore stuff cuz my brain feels weird/bad about it#( not anyone’s fault- my brain is just like that lol )#idk……….. maybe I’ll feel better after I get a full nights rest after tomorrow#vent#at least the fanart is great
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Feeling so many feels over my android f/os rn.
#finally digging into David's Drawings and the accompanying artist interview book <3#I received them as a bday gift all the way back in May but I've had so many hyperfixations since then that I was never In The Mood for it#I didn't want to force myself and have it feel like a chore yknow?#Ahhhhh this is making me fall for him all over again <3#toby.txt#💙🌌
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would you guys still love me if I got hyperfixated on a different fandom and made a side account to post about the game(s) that I’m really into 👉 👈
#litchi.txt#not meant to be guilttrippy I promise#I just feel my hyperfixation waning and these games have brought me a lot of comfort#who knows maybe once finals are over and Im less anxious Ill be back full force#but making myself draw or anything has been hard
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hi sorry for the spam i missed tumblr
#forgot how many talented artists and entertaining people there are on this app#also hyperfix coming back full force fr!!!!#i mean it never went away. just got quiet for a little while bc of outside stress#BUT! i'm gonna finally start drawing for myself again bc i don't have anymore commissions 💪💪#so get ready#anyway.#sorry for the spam#slow day at work today#lol#mods talks shit
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Finally drawing again :D
#i had like a month of hyperfixation on axolotl moom and couldnt do anything else until i finished the skins and art#sooo#gonna dinish some art requests i had and the mutalship gifts#rare rambling#tho i dont think I'll be able to do everything today. just some stuff#also i wanna get back into it with pleasure to force myself to do chores#*not to force myself
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The duality of having hyperfixations- on one hand i really, really enjoy completely immersing myself into something and it inspires me a lot to draw. But on the other, I understand that it must be incredibly annoying to be around me because I'm physically incapable of talking about anything else in-depth.
In an ideal world, I'd be a hermit who lives alone and subsists on just hyperfixations and art and would need nothing other than things that inspire me. And would never ever have to eat lol.
#I just dislike eating lol#It's very disruptive#But yeah i really do enjoy my hyperfixations#But i feel so conscious of it#I have to constantly suppress#Or even force myself to stop#I'm sorry my stardew valley era#For smothering you#I wish i could get back into it sigh
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