#which is more a me issue ig- idk- I still don’t know how I feel about this all and conflicts and stuff- I’ll have to wait and see

[bistaxx]

Honestly, knowing this event is (presumably) ending on my birthday is already the best gift I could ever get

[v0idhaert]

scott smajor with number 7 for your spotify asks?

omg anon sorry it took me so long to get to this, but here: Scott smajor with number 7, Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance!

textless and bgless under cut, as well as really long ramble caption vvvvvvv

I hope this is alright! If nothing else, I’m so so proud of drawing hair braiding, that took. So. Long. lol, anyway yeah I also really like how Scott’s hair came out, and I’ve never made a third life Jimmy design before so I came up with this on the fly and I really like how it looks. But yeah, I saw which song it was and thought of them immediately, Scott was so distraught at Jimmy’s death in third life, (prepare for ramble that is mildly unintelligible if you are not really geeky about MCR lore lol. The main stuff you need to understand is that mcr has four albums, I Brought You My Bullets You Brought Me Your Love, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, The Black Parade, and Danger Days: The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys, and all of them have a lot of lore) like they are so demolition lovers coded, especially because of the whole back from the dead thing where Jimmy is alive and well in later seasons but Scott is still grieving him and the memory thing with winners remembering which means Scott remembers third life and Jimmy doesn’t, reminds me of like (from my understanding of the story, which is different from other peoples because MCR lore is very vague) the inner turmoil of the lover from the three cheers lore who went to hell, and his lover is in heaven and on one hand he wants to reunite but on the other he knows his lover doesn’t even know he’s alive (-ish. Not sure how much his situation qualifies as “living”) and feels guilty, thinking that she probably won’t even want to see him again, because he’s killed so many people and he doesn’t want to ruin her paradise (I mean she misses him too and wants to see him again but he doesn’t know that, and also he rightly recognizes that he is an actual sociopath. I’m not saying c!Scott is crazy (well, as not-crazy as you can be in life series death games. Everyone is at least a little bit off their rocker. Woah, parentheses within parentheses, what is this!?), but I am saying the guy demolition lover absolutely is. I am also saying that c!Scott has self worth issues. At least in my headcannons. I also have a similar headcannon for Joel. Maybe that’s why they hate each other, their mad that they can’t sacrifice themselves for each other and then decided a murderous rivalry was the only option/j ) but yeah so the torturing themselves over a lover who is both dead for them and also at the same time alive and well but unreachable and in a better place than them and wanting to be with them but holding back for fear of hurting them which ends up hurting them anyway (which is also a theme in the black parade, so ig you could also kinda compare Scott to The Patient, but patient always felt more Joel or Pearl coded to me. Also yes I know I already made a post about smalletho demo lovers au, but idk I can have both smalletho and flower husbands demo lovers I just like projecting my interests onto,,,,also my interests ig lol) is something Scott and the sinner demolition lover have in common. Also this song makes me cry. So much. Could barely even draw this through the tears lol/silly, and I’m exaggerating but less than you’d think. Unfortunately I am a crier. I also cry at Summertime from danger days, pretty much all of three cheers but especially I never told you what I do for a living, demolition lovers from bullets (btw for non MCR fans these are album and song names. Also the demo lover’s story starts in bullets with the song titled for them, and then is continued in three cheers for sweet revenge) as well as I don’t love you, wttbp, the end, mama, and famous last words from black parade. And those are just the MCR songs, not counting all the other sad songs from other bands. I am a CRIER lol. But yeah, thank you sm for the ask anon I really enjoyed drawing this!

[azaharinflames]

For me I don’t think Lou is some little uwu that needs defending. However I do not see how you can have someone you know getting heinous death threats and just…..say nothing? I’ve seen random people on the internet defend their moots better than this show defends their actors. Idk I know if I had a coworker who was getting harassed, I would be saying something but maybe that’s not everyone. As well I have been feeling this way for a long time with how the reoccurring love interests get treated on this show so it doesn’t start and stop with Lou.

Hi, Nonnie! Thanks for the ask.

I have to agree with you, which is why I say I won't lie and say I like how no one said a thing.

There is a part of my brain, a bit more cold-minded, that tries to remind me that we don't know the full extent, that perhaps the support was shown in real life and that maybe even Lou didn't want the hate to be brought up. At the end of the day we don't know, and I don't want to assume. And I also remember what they always say about not bringing attention to the hate, because that's like fueling the fire almost.

However. I think there comes a time where there needs to be an exception to the rule. A line that, if it's ever crossed, it should be brought up.

Sorry for putting yet another example, but in the Percy Jackson fandom, there is a pretty good one. When they cast Annabeth, previously described in the books as a white, blonde girl, and the actress was Leah Jeffries, a young woman of color (back then a young teenager), the outrage was insane. Leah is literally perfect as Annabeth, yet she was constantly attacked (and still is). And you know what? They stood by her. The author of the saga continually defends her and his choice to have her play Annabeth.

And it's not about race in this particular case, but we're talking about harassment, being called slurs, and being sent death threats, for God's sake. I understand not wanting too much attention on the issue, I understand not wanting chaos, but I also think many, many lines were crossed.

And I believe that if nothing is done in these cases, the only thing they're achieving is cultivating a very toxic community and environment. A warning in the IG comments does next to nothing. Moderating does next to nothing. And it's like you said, it isn't just Lou, they've done this to nearly all LIs, and they will continue to do this until the show ends.

911 should've called out this issue long ago, in my opinion, and I think now they're at a point where they honestly don't know what to do about it because they've let it grow too damn big.

Anyway, sorry for ranting again. My inbox is open for anyone who wants to rant, vent, or discuss something <3

[heartkaji]

[ ★ ⸻ @maiinoclock ]

★ OVERVIEW

hi !! omg people acc simp for shidou 😟/j anyway you and shidou’s relationship would be so chaotic i think 😭 i feel like you guys are that one couple breaking up over the smallest things, and even as exes yall still have no idea what ‘no contact’ means. like, yall would be less than two weeks into the break up and shidou’s already calling your line asking you to link 🤦‍♀️ at first you always say no, but unfortunately you’re gonna give up sooner or later 🧍‍♂️ idk it’s just smth about the way he calls you cute nicknames ig 💘

Q5 — WHAT DO OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP ?

EVERONE thinks you guys are toxic. or a dangerous match. or both. sae’s waiting for the moment you realize this man has been gay all along (dw girl you never will ! but he definitely swings in more than one way.) anyway, every week you two are breaking up over the dumbest shit and your girl friends are TIRED of hearing it. everyday it’s “oh i broke up with him cuz he was liking some bitch’s posts” and then the next day it’s “nevermind guys we’re back together again.” safe to say your girls are sick and tired. truth is, you and shidou simply cannot stay away from each other. no matter how intense your fights get you always find a way back to one another, and ngl your mates (and shidou’s) are tired of it.

charles doesn’t take yall seriously either. he loves you actually, you’re his favorite ex of shidou (or girlfriend, depends on which day of the week it is) but even he doesn’t entertain shidou’s rants about you anymore. he used to LOVE the gossip, but now he just rolls his eyes.

“yall will be back together by tuesday, give it a rest gang.”

Q12 — WHAT DO THEY NOT LIKE ABOUT YOU ?

your trust issues (which are 100% not your fault btw!!) you were actually really trusting initially, always giving shidou the benefit of the doubt. but shidou got an inch and took a mile. he’s never actually cheated, but you always catch him in some girl’s likes or tiktok comments saying “lemme eyp” 💀💀 GIRL IM SO SORRY but like this is shidou 😭 also he’s definitely the kind of guy who reposts hot girls on his fyp i fear 💔 anyways once u confronted him abt all that it stopped, but you occasionally catch him in a girl’s likes from time to time. stuff like that is usually the cause of your fights, and it’s lead to you not trusting him. you’re skeptical about nearly everything he says and does and you NEVER cut him slack. you stand on business (sometimes). if he pisses you off he gets a good scolding followed by silence. no contact at all. but after a while you unfortunately miss your ex and find your way back 💔

honestly, i don’t think shidou does any of the stuff he does to be unfaithful or weird. i genuinely think he’s just been single for a long time and so his every media is just saturated with inappropriate pics of women 😭 you open his insta and his discovery pages is filled with bikini models and only fans promoters. sometimes he absentmindedly likes a few. if shidou were to reset his tiktok and insta trust me you’ll never catch him in anybody’s likes ever again. fuck is he looking for with randoms on the internet when he’s got you ?

Q13 — WHAT DO THEY LOVE MOST ABOUT YOU ?

how assertive you are. he finds it irresistibly hot when you tell him no. shidou’s no stranger to easy girls. back when he was still single, he had a whole roster of pretty girls who’d do anything he asked. but you’re different; you live by your own rules, you see shidou when it’s convenient for you, when you feel like it. sometimes, depending on your mood you treat him like he doesn’t even exist and heaven knows it drives him crazy. he’s not used to having a girl who treats him like an option and damn does it make him worship you. you’re kinda like sae in that aspect actually, and he’s every bit as obsessed with you as he is with the red head.

>> 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 <<

© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload

[vacantgodling]

tl;dr i need help paying rent and health insurance this month. with the money from my recent paycheck, all i need is $263 (usd) to cover these expenses.

i hate to ask for money all the time but idk what else to do.

this month (august) was supposed to be great for getting my finances in order. i would be getting paid 3x, and i had a system that worked.

unfortunately things didn’t work out that way. this month has been the worst month this entire year:

the main issue is i caught covid (after 4 years of never having it once, i succumbed to people’s uselessness and having to go in person to work) and that kept me out of work for a week. the mini vacation was “nice” because my symptoms weren’t too bad, but the looming fear that i wouldn’t have enough for rent has now reared its head.

the week before, i already took 2 days off because my partner was informed their abusive father had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and that sent them spiraling. he hasn’t kicked the bucket yet (ig cockroaches don’t die easily), but from what they said that week they thought he would pass by that sunday.

this past wednesday, the stress of their not so great extended family reaching out + grappling with this ended up with my partner having to go to the hospital for (tw) excessive vomiting—unable to keep water down and extremely dizzy. we were discharged that night thankfully once things calmed down and they are technically fine, just still resting and trying to slowly get back to eating normally. the drs weren’t able to determine what caused any of that to occur, but our current theory is just stress and not eating enough so stomach rebellion. i had to miss 4 hours of work to take them to the hospital so, my next paycheck is also gonna be short but not too terrible overall. i’m not really worried about it.

i don’t want to bore you all to death with all the details of all my other debts and struggles that i’m dealing with rn. i just want to illustrate how this week just fucked me over really badly. i’m currently the only one working between us bc my partner is disabled (and got denied disability for them last week so cool cool. love this country love it here).

and if it helps you feel more inclined to donate to me i’m black, queer, and transmasculine. marginalization bingo etc etc.

if you can’t spare anything i understand, i know we’re all broke and struggling and there’s other causes that are definitely more pressing. this isn’t a matter of life and death. just would really help to not have to get screwed over by this.

i offer commissions so if you wanna check my ko-fi -> https://ko-fi.com/vacantgodling/commissions

(just know there’s a small of a list rn, i haven’t been drawing as much as i need to for the commissions i do currently have and i’m sorry for that i’ve just been stressed out. thanks to everyone who’s ordered for their patience i’ll be getting to stuff as soon as i can)

but if you’d like to just donate to my paypal -> https://www.paypal.me/pinkpurgatory

if you don’t have anything to spare (which again, totally fine) please spread this around if you can i’d appreciate it.

thanks for reading and i hope you have a good day 💛

[doctor-vertigo]

It’s Bive time! I’m kidding of course, Bive time is all the time, it never ends.

If you want to hear my inane ramblings about her feel free to subject yourself to that for whatever reason btw.

Okay so Bive is a really interesting character to me, and thus I have a lot of interpretations on her character which are probably very unoriginal. The way I draw her is mostly based off of the vrchat avatar of her that I use because I just, I love how shaped she is, she’s such a silly. It’s also my body type, so she has some pudginess going on in my vision even if she is a sentient hairball (that’s also why I gave her a double chin). Actually on the topic, I’ve seen so much diverse fan art of her when it comes to body types and shapes which is always such a joy to see!

I don’t know what’s confirmed or not but I imagine that she has schizophrenia, which is something I hardly ever see represented in fiction, and in fact it’s a disorder I still see is made fun of to this day which is honestly heartbreaking to think about. So even if it isn’t canon, if people with schizophrenia can relate to her and feel seen through her, I find that to be a wonderful thing! I also headcanon her as having AuDHD, mostly due to her dialogue about sensory issues and needing to constantly move, and paired with the schizophrenia I imagine she has some type of generalized anxiety disorder.

This is probably just projection on my part but I also headcanon her as always wearing more modest attire, like the oversized trench coat and maybe turtleneck sweaters or large hoodies in more casual settings. Personally as someone with anxiety if I wear something too revealing or form-fitting I feel extremely uneasy and have to cover up as quickly as possible. But she also doesn’t wear pants as far as I know so idk how well that headcanon holds up. Also she bites when she gets affectionate. And idk how canon it is that Bive doesn’t shower as often as she probably should (executive dysfunction can kiss my ass) but I do think it checks out with what all I’ve said here already, but also because of that I imagine she’s very greasy most of the time.

That’s about it, if I have anything more to add then maybe I’ll reblog this post and add another ramble? Depends on how interested anyone is ig. Ok ramble over, sorry for wasting your time 👋

[strawberry-milkbunny]

I have no one to talk to about Tokyo Rev so here r my random hot takes that I need to say:

- Emma and Hina r boring and used as romance plot devices it’s okay to admit that Wakui can’t write women idk I don’t expect shounen/men to be able to write girls well (still cried when Emma died tho bc she didn’t deserve it!!!)

- lol I LOVE Yuzuha and Senju tho

- I actually do like Emma and Draken together but I also firmly believe Draken is in love w/Mikey and was just projecting onto Emma LMAO

- Yuzuha is a lesbian

- Controversial: I don’t think Shinchiro was THAT great of an older brother. Like he was cool but he still introduced Mikey and Izana into the world of gang life/normalizing violence and yeah OG Black Dragons isn’t like that but….what do u expect when u form a gang??? .obviously there’s a high chance that it’s gonna develop into LEGIT gang activity

- As an adult and someone who was basically raised by an older sibling w/a big age gap (my sis is 7 years older) I kinda don’t blame Takeomi for being a bad older brother??? Realistically he’s a 17 yr old in charge of raising 2 toddlers like NO SHIT he did a bad job. At least Shin had his grandfather to help out but Takeomi actually had no one. Doesn’t explain y he’s a brokey LOL buttttt again I don’t FULLY blame him for being a bad sibling still hurt my boi Sanzu 😤😤

- I HC that Mikey is used to having a caretaker (Draken and later Sanzu) bc when Shin died he was so depressed and genuinely couldn’t get out of bed

- Takemitchy is also lowkey boring/typical shounen protagonist and canonically stinky like Hina could do sm better. This is personal preference so I find myself wanting more chaotic/dumb protagonists who are slightly morally ambiguous like Denji, Gintoki, hell even Naruto at times. Takemitchy didn’t get character development until BD arc and that’s just a bit too long for me….

- Koko and Inui r gay and dating 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

- the Haitani brothers r the kardashians of the TR universe they’re so embarrassing Deadass show up and pose/do absolutely nothing I LOVE THEM SHKSKSKSK

- I love how it’s universally agreed that Mitsuya and Chifuyu r the best bois

- I have mixed feelings about Izana. I genuinely do like him and DESPISE how he’s whitewashed by fanart

- I get it u genuinely just wanted to not be alone and found out ur adopted in the worst way possible but…..idk how that justifies killing ur own sister but u do u ig 🤷‍♀️ and u have KAKUCHO AS UR FAMILY WTH

- don’t listen to me tho I’m a Mikey and Sanzu stan LMAOO 🤭🤭🤭

- Izana is the definition of mommy issues and 100% had crunchy hair lik mans was homeless

- if I saw Izana IRL I would RUN 🏃‍♀️idk he looks a lil crazy

- also this man does not know Tagalog he didn’t even know he was Filipino until he was lik 12

- idk the Tenjiku arc is so funny to me bc Izana is deadass: imma kill everyone in Mikey’s life for revenge and Mikey is lik: bruh I didn’t even kno u existed until last week and now ur killing our sister UNPROVOKED ???

- Bonten!Mikey is a virgin/no libido mans is DEPRESSED

- wished the Bonten arc was longer simply for the outfits bc Wakui KNOWS FASHION but that shit was DEPRESSION

- 3 Deities Arc was amazing and also funny/serious at the same time. It literally was an all out brawl in an AMUSEMENT PARK

- fr tho wtf was Benkei, Wakasa and Takeomi doing there??? Like they’re canonically 27 GO GET A JOB STOP FIGHTING 15 YEAR OLDS SHKSKSKS

- U cannot tell me that Sanzu WASNT sad when Baji and Mucho died.

- Baji was straight up his childhood friend and the only one other than Senju who knows about the plane incident/Mikey’s possessive side. And In the OG!timeline I’m pretty sure Baji was the only friend Sanzu DIDNT attack. While with Mucho he was pretty much his older brother, Sanzu just decided Mikey was better

- Tbh if the dark impulses/Shin thing wasn’t real I would’ve firmly believed Mikey had DID or something. Which again made only worse by the fact that violence and death is such a regular thing in his life (GET THIS MAN THERAPY LIK WTF IS SHIN AND GRANDPA SANO DOING???)

- Kazutora going a lil crazy is lowkey expected and I hate how we only find out about his home life in the character books. This kid grew up in a physically and mentally abusive household (gaslight to pick between parents and as s/o who has experienced that shit it’s fucked up) and I rlly don’t think prison helped out his mental stability either no shit he tried to kill Mikey

- I don’t ship Mikey and Takemichy (despite the IMMENSE gay ness btwn them) firmly bc I think everyone can see how much power Takemitchy has over Mikey idk it has a weird power dynamic like if Takemitchy tried he could 100% control Mikey (platonically or romantically)

- Baji, Chifuyu and Kazutora r a throuple

- I HATE how Sanzu is reduced to this crazy drug addict. Sanzu is canonically smart, manipulative, and formally trained fighter. He also REMEMBERS the OG timeline, he had to experience Shin dying twice and everyone else die no shit he’s a little bonkers/needs drugs to take everything away. Plus his relationship to Mikey which tbh is a whole separate post

- controversial !!!: I ship Mikey and Sanzu or Mikey and Draken. Sanzu only bc this man has a big ass crush and deserves some niceness for once

- ppl write Kakucho as this shy, nice guy like ur not wrong but mans is also running UNPROVOKED into Yakuza offices like it’s the gym while dragging Rindou wit him 😭😭😭

- the haitanis r the best sibling duo

- It lowkey makes me mad in fanfics where Ran is depicted as cheating w/Rin’s gf like??? This man raised his younger brother himself u cannot tell me he doesn’t love his brother and would actually do that to him

- Ran would 1000% do anything for Rin and i firmly believe he kinda regrets not saying anything in court to prevent Rindou frm joining him in jail. Like saying he forced Rindou to kill someone w/him, abusing his brother at home, etc especially in the Bonten! tl he def thinks about wtf he dragged his brother into

- I also don’t think they’ve slept w/ the same person before. Idk I feel like they have diff types like Ran goes for more motherly/mature types while Rindou goes for sweeter/shy types

- Draken has road rage

- Yuzuha should’ve been taller like AT LEAST 5’7 bitch is related to Hakkai and Taiju for gods sake

- OG BD 100% thought Wakasa was a girl for at least a month. He’s canonically 5’3 and pretty.

- Characters who r 100% bisexual: WAKASA, Senju,maybe Hina, Draken (def in denial), Rindou, Ran (he’s a whore as long as ur pretty he’s down), Sanzu, Koko, Kazutora, Chifuyu

- Mitsuya had a crush on Draken

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas! Swiftie anon. So school ended today, and I’m free for like two-ish months. Since you’re a teacher when did your school end? Do you have to do summer school?

the first day of summer starts tomorrow, and I’m nervous. Spending so much time alone with my mom, ugh. She starts her job soon, she hasn’t had one and got hip surgery back in January, but she works at home. Having her be occupied will be nice though. I still remember a few summers ago where she screamed at the top of her lungs at us, for being too loud while she was working. Luckily we won’t have that issue (hopefully)

my friend are inviting me over to their houses all summer so I don’t have to stay at home, so that’s a plus. And I have to go to church in a few days, and ugh, I cringe thinking about it.

so about my brother’s dorm, he’s just going to have his own room, and a communal bathroom, stereotypical college dorm, ig. And like my parents said they had health concerns from my brother sharing a bathroom with two transgender/(+)nonbinary people, but having way more people, idk doesn’t seem logical. My mom said something about hormones and what they’re doing to their bodies, but idk, gives me the ick. Apparently while we were at school, they had a talk. My brother told he that she doesn’t listen, etc. basically that she sucks at parenting, and my mom said she isn’t a nurturing person, which jeez, I couldn’t tell. At home it feels like everyone is holding their breath, that split second of silence before a bomb goes off. I was eavesdropping on my parents (again) and they were talking about how they shouldn’t make it a big deal, and it wouldn’t have been if they hadn’t gone fucking insane over it. They were also talking about how it was an issue how my brother saw a as a girl? Which like, they’re friends, she dresses feminine, she has long hair, she wears makeup and I’m pretty sure she’s on hormones (is that the correct term?). My brother is a respectful person, it’s like the same thing as calling someone a nickname. That why we have to go to church, because to quote my mom, “the indoctrination starts young, (my name) and (my sisters name) could already know about this.” I almost wanted to pop up and shout that I read fanfiction about gay people in imaginary worlds every night before I go to sleep. She’s like scared we’ll become gay or something. She even said so herself, (to my dad) “moving our son out of the room won’t solve anything, he could still go and hang around lgbtsaui (she said a ton of random letters bc “the acronym is too long”) and be exposed to it” yeah bc there’s gay people in real life an they’re apart of society. And yes, my parents care a lot about college, they both grew up poor so it makes sense. And my mom likes saying things, she said yesterday morning that she wanted to split her and my dad’s finances, but that didn’t happen, she has mental issues too. Or runs on her side of the family, my aunt, she committed suicide in the 90s and apparently my mom has suffered from low mood, so thanks a lot to her ig.

as for if my brother likes a, my parents asked right before if they asked if he liked boys “do you like (deadname) like a boyfriend.” He said no, obviously, bc she’s a girl now. My brother hasn’t show interest in anyone as far as I know, we don’t talk about that stuff together, but we play a video game together, and he likes the female characters, but he could like, like their design and sorry and stuff, or like them, or both. But women are usually prettier in video games so straight dudes buy. Can you be straight and date a trans person(I’m uneducated, i apologize)? My dad asked him “would you ever be with someone knowing that they’re actually a boy? I wouldn’t, I feel like people don’t tell others that these days.” My brother said no, obviously he could be telling the truth or lying and there is a “right” answer when my parents ask. So idk if he likes a, as far as I know, he hasn’t been interested in someone like that. Honestly by brother is probably a straight cis dude, if he’s not, he can tell me if he likes. If he doesn’t want to tell me, well there’s clearly a reason for that. He’s my older brother, he’s helped me through a lot, that won’t change.

I am not youngest sibling anon, bc I have never had a crush on anyone. *awkward jazz hands* bc I’m aroace. Probably. Somewhere on the spectrum anyway, I’m too depressed to have a sexuality crisis. So I’m you’re the first person i came out to, so congrats (?). I honestly haven’t told anyone, bc I’m in middle school and everyone is just gonna tell me I’m too young to know and I can’t deal with homophobes and my many mental illnesses. And I’m fine with being a girl (for now, I’m young so who knows?), I have body image issues, but that’s bc I have confidence issues. I hope they’re doing okay cause it looks like they’re going through some shit.

Okay so today at school, like 10 minutes before we were dismissed there was one one over the loudspeaker, saying something and my math teacher smells us to be quiet so we could hear. We didn’t, he told us to be quiet again, and we didn’t again. He whistled and shouted shut up. And I got scared, I flinched, my friends pointed it out, I hid behind one of them. Some people were joking about how red his face was, I was scared, like my life was being threatened. It’s just so embarrassing, idk, I thought I knew how to handle myself, I thought I got over it. One of my friends, held up a wooden block and pretended to throw it at me, before the teacher yelled at us, and I ducked and covered my head. It’s just frustrating, bc I thought maybe I was getting better. I stopped getting hit years ago, I shouldn’t be flinching like that anymore.

I’m just so upset with myself, bc I should be happy, I’m a kid, I have stuff, my life is comfortable, I have friends. Beside my home life, it’s been okay. Why aren’t I happy. Why can’t I be happy. It’s just so frustrating bc everyone around me is happy, carefree almost. And I can’t be like that, I didn’t think you could still be like that, as a teenager. It’s so, maddening, and I…I want to be happy too, I’ve been trying so hard for so long to be happy, and every comment my parents make about having a positive attitude hurts more. Because I am trying, I’ve been trying so hard for so long, and no one can even notice the difference. It’s all just fucking pointless. This is my best, my best sucks and can’t do shit, apparently. I thought I was doing things, it hurts, it hurts so much more than I thought it would. Staying alive, here, I never thought it could hurt so much. And like, sometimes I wonder if there’s a point, I’ll end up alone, everyone keeps moving away, I’m literally a mistake, bc my parents didn’t mean for me to even be here and I don’t want to be.

this was way longer than intended, I’ll drop it here for now, if I don’t send another message, it’s bc i got my phone taken.

have a good day/night!

Hi hon!

Okay, so yes, hormones is the right term, but remember that a trans person doesn't have to be on hormones to be trans or to be considered the gender they identify as.

Also, yes, straight people can date trans people. I think, in some ways, it's affirming for a straight dude to be like "of course I'm straight because I'm dating x. Because she's a girl" It reminds x that she IS a girl.

As far as your happiness- when you say "I have stuff, my life is comfortable" so? You clearly aren't being supported, of COURSE you're sad! And it's okay to be sad! Just remember that this won't last forever. Soon, you'll be the one off to college, and your parents will have less and less control over you.

I'm sending you so much love and support <3

[golbrocklovely]

I don’t want to be rude or anything, but hear me out. Maybe he does this to himself, why? If he was annoyed be it, he would tell people something or anything. Also idk why he won’t tell people on ig story/twitter-hell even xplrclub that he is single, because his silence makes everything even more worse. Yeah there are lots of people who would still think that he is lying at all, but it would make a better sense (ifyk). That man is very attractive, handsome, that’s why girls takes liking to him at some way.

And that’s why when he’s hanging out with some girl always make rumours. And my opinion is, i think colby didn’t meet the right person yet..i feel like these la girls are just using him at some way. Look how every girl he was seen with gained alot of followers/fans, why lmao🤔 because of rumours. I love this man from all my heart but sometimes..i think he does this to himself

i think the reason why colby doesn't constantly say something about being single is bc it would basically be a full time job for him to do so lol

he does occasionally say things, even on xplrclub, about his love life and how he's single. realistically it's not his job to tell us about it or fill us in all the time, which is why he doesn't. i'm always of the belief that he's single until he says otherwise.

but i'll summarize this whole conversation by saying that a lot of the information about who he's "with", so to speak, is just naturally out there. you don't gotta dig to find things. which is also why so many fans CAN talk about his love life so openly. he's not as good of a hider as he thinks. or… the girls he hangs with don't stay quiet for long.

also, respectfully, the boy likes attention. and there ain't nothing wrong with that. he's also ridiculously clever and knows how to distract when he needs to. there's a reason why he drunkenly posted a pic with the girl he's been vibing with currently, removed it, and then posted multiple times that day - including a heavy thirst trap lol

however, i think there's a bigger issue at hand and that is that ppl assume every girl he's with is a gf or soon to be gf. same thing with his following list. he's either going to fuck, has fucked, or is currently fucking any girl he follows. and that's a main problem with this fandom. a lot of the girls he follows are just friends or random women he met at a party that he's just politely following back. ppl make things into bigger deals than they need to be. colby can be friends with single girls. thinking that he can't keep it in his pants is just not true.

if this fandom would just take things at face value, and move on, nothing would seem like such breaking news.

the main issue i have is that by thinking of colby in this way, you basically turn him into a sex doll that fucks anything that moves. you also take away the choice that these women make, or that they were just a conquest to be had. everyone in this situation is an adult that decided to do what they wanted to. but by turning them into just sexual beings, it dehumanizes them. especially with the way a lot of this fandom deals with sexuality and society in general's ideas of purity and whatnot.

there is so much more to that man that i genuinely love to talk about. and i do quite frequently. i'll happily answer asks about him that don't pertain to his love life. i only answer what gets sent in.

(sorry if this was a bit all over the place lol)

[bisluthq]

It’s fascinating how many people genuinely think Taylor is going to dump Travis for losing his sportz ball game, just like they thought Travis would dump Taylor once tour was over because it wasn’t all traveling and exciting anymore but more domestic and quiet. And some are saying they can’t be attracted to each other now they’re both losers with her at the Grammys and his game. But like it’s a lot of people and not just haters and daily mail like usual. Then there are the Stans hoping THEY CAN GET THROUGH THIS ROUGH PATCH!

I know we ask what some swifties are like irl but are there people outside of like high school jock and cheerleader movie tropes who dump each other for not winning an award or sports game? Like getting fired and not being able to get another job would be an issue for most normies because of financial stability, but tnt could buy an island and build a Costco on it if they wanted lol. And usually work events for yourself or your partner are annoying because even if it’s a party, you have to be on your best behavior (after parties are the exception lol) but are there people going to galas for their real estate agent partner and dumping them because the other real estate agent sold the most houses? Or the other 2nd grade teacher’s class did better on their maths tests?

I mean, I can see how a public backlash would strain a relationship, but I don’t think they’re going into a mutual public hating, and we’ll likely see them less now so that gives the public/ gossip papers less ammo… trump makes things a wild card because he’s trump… but 🤷‍♀️

I’m seeing so many takes and id honestly love to see Taylor and Travis react a la Mean Tweets because some of it is just so damn weird lmao

This is my point lol like it's NOT a "rough patch"? I'd say the fact that the season is over and the tour is over actually gives them time to idk be a normal couple and spend normal time together and probably work towards engagement/marriage? And I love your comparison to real estate - they do BIG awards annually or even semi-annually and they award the top performing agent/s and I've NEVER heard of someone being like "oh babe you didn't get Platinum/Gold there? ROUGH PATCH!!!!! What's the point of you anyway??? You're such a mid realtor!!!!!???? THAT GUY sold so many more houses, I wanna homewreck his relationship and be with HIM!!!!"

The financial stability comparison I get like obviously getting fired/being out of work even by choice, is a big problem in normie land because the other partner has to step up and that can feel unfair actually to both. (I've said I took time off from working FT and the current setup came out of that because I was busy with the renovations and my bf encouraged me/was cool with that but it *was* a bit hard because he still didn't want to pay for my random ass shit lol like for those three months he carried all groceries - which is actually my responsibility in our setup - and other vital stuff like that (he paid my phone bill for 2/3 of the months and he paid half of my health insurance which tbf I don't *need* because we do have relatively good public healthcare but private has shorter waiting times and he paid the full cats' insurance for the 3 months but like they're also his cats ig but that usually is my responsibility) but he still wasn't comfy buying me clothes or paying for me to go do my nails or giving me money to go hang out with my friends lol because that's really not a part of his budget and unlike me he is good at managing money so he was kinda like "well use your savings for that stuff" which I unfortunately did because I was unmedicated for the Bipolar at the time and that has led to a lot of the financial complexities I NOW have lol) BUT AGAIN like... Tayvis would need a LOOOOOOOONGGGGG time out of work and to be Bernie Madoff'd in order to have that be a problem. And not winning awards /=/ being out of work and financially unstable. A realtor who doesn't win the Platinum/Gold badge hasn't not sold any houses lol. They just haven't sold as many. They're probably still okay like financially unless they budgeted on projected house sales that they then failed to close but then they're bad at financial planning and that's on them and the fight at home would be about THAT and not about the lack of an award.

In conclusion, Swifties are weird af and seem unable to relate real life situations to what's going on with Taylor lol (and to be able to understand that her life is in many ways way easier than ours anyway).

[kreuiza]

okay but on a real note why tf did emi even tell him? like i don’t know that’s weird how’d he even find out and why was one of his first thoughts to tell specifically him?

i’m just confused as to why?

like even if he did find out and all this bs why does it matter what i do and if the guy i actually want sm with could’ve brought it up and talked oh and how did he tell him at the same exact time i did

that makes me look weird asf cause even he was like

“yall told me at the same time”

like bro i didn’t even know he was gonna tell you or how or why he fucks up and that shit makes me look bad like i’m still talking to him

which is am not i have him blocked on everything and as much as its crazy how i get to move on too what did he expect

me to sit here after telling him if we are done we are done

like i’m just done wasting my breath my time my energy on him

and i’ve been doing so good recently literally

but why’d he have to come back to ruin sm i liked having and dip again?

bro hasn’t talked about me said shit about me like bro in the end im not the reason we aren’t together it was cause of your bullshit

if you did it on purpose you are absolutely childish idc what your reasoning was you’re childish asf

and if you did it for his well being which i completely fckn doubt because you have no idea what happened or wtf is going on

just bro stay in your business i am not your business no more and im not gonna be your business again?

we aren’t friends we aren’t shit

either way i should’ve told him a lot earlier myself and i knew that and i still didn’t because i didn’t want him to stop fw me

AND JOKES ON YALL

i’m bout to still make it work with this dude

just need to build that trust with him and prove to him i really do mean what im saying

and i truthfully will it was a stupid mistake i made before we talked and yes bla bla we aren’t together but i don’t want to have hoes

i ESPECIALLY don’t want him to just be a hoe

he isn’t a hoe to me he’s the guy i actually want to be with

and we have the best conversations and i’m always smiling and laughing and as much as i like talking with him

we are barely starting to talk fr and i am in it

i already told him i am still not ready to date because of emi obviously

like bro we just broke up a month ago and i haven’t given myself time to much

it would be unfair to get into a relationship knowing i’d still think about my ex every now and again

and sad to say but he is still in my mind but every single time i am just proven i made the right choice

which helps ig but it sucks idk i expected sm like different ig

i just didn’t think we’d see each other or heard from each other again and no issue in seeing him in a group setting but like all i hear about him now is how he’s hoeing around and going out drinking and talking to these girls and now how he tried to fuck up this thing with this guy

like what do you want from me?

you don’t want me? and talk to other girls but when i’m doing it it’s wrong?

like dude you don’t want me you just want the attention

you just want to know you can

and you simple cannot

so my fault gang

i am no longer considering you in what i’m doing because you already showed me there was no point to that if you wanted that and wanted us to work out you should’ve done it while we were together now i am happy and found someone who is very considerate in what they say and do to me and im the asshole but i don’t blame him and try to defend my actions because i know what i did was wrong and i was going to fix it wether he knew or not hense why i talked to him about it and told him i wasn’t going to talk to anyone else because i wasn’t and this is the first time im doing this bs of “talking stage and taking it serious” and i am terrified but i trust this man so much

idk i feel safe to express myself towards him because he will always try to see things from my side and if he decides he doesn’t want to fw me anymore and TELLS ME then i’ll respect him and leave him alone

but as of the moment i know i still have a chance and i am going to prove to him everything i am saying because he deserves that and more and i want to be the one who gives it to him when i am ready for it

[love-advice-on-call]

helllooo i need some advice

i have been dating my partner for a year now and things are honestly super great! my partner normally doesn’t talk about their feelings or what’s bothering them very often and they can be pretty hard to read sometimes. (which can be frustrating sometimes bc i am pretty good at reading ppl lol) i’m normally much better at figuring out what people need specifically for certains situations but it’s much harder to figure out what that is for my partner.

i feel like i’m not able to comfort my partner in the way that he needs. like even small things like when he’s stressed bc he had a hard day at work or bigger life things like friends passing. i feel like i’ve just been bad at being there for him when he needs me

for ig more everyday things i know that he’s acts of service so i try to pick up his room if im there so that its clean when he gets back from work. should i do his laundry or soemthing too? i don’t wanna intrude n shit

i have asked him before about what he likes or how i can do more for him but it seems like maybe he doesn’t know or doesn’t know how to word it or doesn’t think he deserves it. totally possible that im just bad at explaining more of what im saying to him?? idk for sure but i just want him to know that he is loved and cared for and really feel it

im past relationships it’s been much easier to figure out what they like and how to treat them well but with my current partner i feel like ive just been majorly lacking in making sure that my love is loved.

any tips would be greatly appreciated!!

(sry if this didn’t make much sense lowkey rambling lol)

You're good, I think this makes sense. I think it's harder to comfort him BECAUSE he is hard to read. Like the issues you are having with trying to make him feel better I think are actually coming from him and I get that feeling pretty strong just by reading how you describe this guy.

I don't think you should do his laundry and stuff since you don't want to become his caretaker. I get the desire to though since you're really looking to find areas to make him feel better, but simply talking to him and finding out more about the issue is not a strong option so it feels like you're looking for other ways. He as an individual needs to be able to be able to take care of himself for this relationship to be healthy. That doesn't mean you can't do things for him, but it doesn't mean that he should just get used to not do things in general.

I think you can only do so much sometimes for some people. You can try to love someone as much as you can, but if they are not ready to receive love, then they will have a difficult time feeling love/loved. Sort of like if a door is closed, but you're still expecting the outside breeze to cool them off. I will say all this love language stuff is great and he probably does feel like you love him, but I think it's just that all of this modern love theory might be something not in his wave length.

I see/hear a lot of you trying to find out what will make him feel better, but the thing is I get the vibe that he doesn't know what makes him feel better and that might be the bigger problem. Ultimately, I think it would be best if he just went to therapy and learned how to talk about his feelings. Other than that, maybe instead of asking him what he likes/needs, you can do checkin's and see how he feels out of 10. Like 0 being the worst and 10 being the best. That way he doesn't have to say everything about how he feels, but you still get an idea of what is going on. You can also ask him about what feelings he has around whatever is going on with his life. Basic happy, sad, angry, etc. type stuff so he can formulate those feelings and translate them to you. If he says he doesn't feel anything then it may be that he just genuinely doesn't feel anything which happens to some people.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Honestly me neither but apparently Aryu stans exists?? I mean they must if they keep making merch for them SHSHGSSH

YAY omg congrats!!! Touching grass pays off LMAO another Mira W!!

Oh WHAT ok then well, I guess ever platform has its issues LOL now I see why Ao3 authors always feel the need to explain their absence (the insane ones are so funny but also genuinely crazy like wdym you almost died but are updating in the hospital bed??? Go rest??) Glad you don’t get people harassing you like that anymore because if it were me I’d probably end up ditching the piece altogether unless I was writing it for myself HAHA

“Do you want me to kill myself me honest” IS INSANEEEEE HONESTLY THAT COMEBACK SLAPS HAHAHA I think it’s tame considering how they were being so pushy but didn’t even bother to absorb the fact that you literally already answered the question a day before….

SWIMMING SCENE we won guys but so true little kid drama’s usually restricted by the complexities of their social interactions which are far and few in between LMAO can’t wait for that angsty teen/tween phase

So real for that…I fear I remain closeted until I become really good friends with someone or honestly it won’t come up at all if the other person doesn’t consume any of the same type of media because we usually talk about others things HAHA

Yeah it’s just Itoshi flashback essentially LMAO I’m ngl idk how to feel it definitely doesn’t really make me feel anything more for Rin (what was bro doing??? The way he fell down looked so goofy I’m not even sure what to say and tbh I don’t really get how him like jumping off places really aligns with the ideation of “defeating someone stronger even if it kills you” but he’s probably like 5 so I guess it makes sense that his thought process doesn’t make sense??? Whatever ig LMAO) seeing sae take the heat for rin was kinda cute but yeah erm his dad was kinda ominous there!!! Also the beard, that’s just sae with a beard a black dyed hair. But YEAH honestly I think I felt more for Rin without knowing this background like uhhh what?? I also have little interest in analyzing this myself so I’ll just let it sit there HAHA

LEARNING BY NOT FOLLOWING EXAMPLE REAL you’ll see in the next chapters that ideation is even more prevalent…but ok ummm why is this LN so deep?? I think they just stepped up the level of emotion and whatnot in this volume because??? I’m about to go skim Aryu’s to see what’s in there let’s see if he gets bullied too /j

-Karasu anon

HAHA ig that’s true!! aryu fandom wherever you are i hope you’re staying strong 😫 that’s like the ultimate random side character to be in love with because he truly is up to nothing 😭 but ykw i support

okay wait crazy story i actually have updated a fic while in the hospital before 😳 i had an allergic reaction to something and was in anaphylactic shock so they gave me steroids and had to monitor my vitals for a few hours so i was like “ok might as well write ig” but then my laptop died and i was so mad 😔 i texted my best friend abt it and she was like “girl you are in the hospital focus on THAT” FJFKSKS the grind truly never stops!!

LMAOO lowkey i did abandon the story it’s been like three months since i updated and tbh i always forget i’m the one who wrote it 😓 looking back i think i was just annoyed because it felt like people just saw me as a content machine who could spit out chapters at will?? like it’s one thing when people ask me when peregrine will be updated because it’s been a month or so (don’t get me wrong it still is a little annoying because i have no idea but not AS bad) but when more than two days would pass and they’d be asking me when the next chapter would come out it was just like…do you not want me to have a life or smth?? it’s not like i can abandon everything else i do solely to write new chapters and update 😭

SWIMMING SCENE INDEED i’m trying to make this not be too similar to fwtkac but there’s def a bit of overlap in things like pool scenes and whatnot (even though the outcomes of the scenes are different in each fic)…but yeah there’s def a little bit of drama just because even as a very young child karasu was down bad but like at the age of 7 it’s not as if he knows what that means yk 🤔 it’s also funny because rn i’m picturing baby karasu from epinagi so it’s more like “aww cute kid” (which is also the reader’s mindset so that’s good) but i need to get to when he enters his growth spurt era so i can be like 😏 HAHAHAHA

agreed it’s not something i bring up until i’ve judged a person’s vibe well enough to know they won’t be weird abt it or if they bring it up first…even then like i don’t talk a ton abt it w my friends unless they’re also into it (sadly i have no bllk irls so it’s been difficult but at least i have my tumblr crew to geek out with)

HELP RIN LOOKED SO SILLY i have no idea what he was up to…truly he was a weird little kid but that honestly checks out w what we know of him because even now when you get past his fantasy otome isekai male lead appearance he’s lowkey a bit of a freak 😭 and i think painting sae as someone who takes the heat for rin makes me feel bad for him a bit because who is taking the heat for HIM yk?? and omg they did not try w the itoshi parents’ designs at all they don’t even have eyes 😓 maybe it was an artistic choice idk LMAO i guess we’ll see how the match progresses from here!! hoping for more karasu and yukimiya 🥹 maybe kunigami too he’s kind of been irrelevant besides guarding shidou so hopefully after the rin goal that’s sure to come there’ll be some focus on the shidou system (shidou karasu zantetsu) that seemed to be setting smth up before rin went crazy and then that could lead to some development/scenes for kunigami as well 🤔 i’m excited too that the nel arc is almost over hehe it’ll be fun to see everyone back together and hopefully on the same team again!! as well as seeing what comes next in the manga (i’m assuming u20 world cup but i’m sure there’ll be some stuff in between before the actual world cup starts)…praying for another slice of life type of scene like when they were all in shibuya after bllk vs u20s!!

BAROU BEST FATHER OF THE YEAR no wonder he was so good at parenting nagi bro has experience 😭 and i agree barou/yuki’s novels were def on the deeper and more emotional side while still being relatable which made them really fun to read 😩 aryu’s made me giggle a bit tbh because it was so unserious and yet serious at the same time as is to be expected from him…i can’t believe you predicted him being bullied though 😢

[tacticalhimbo]

The Boys for fandom ask ^_^

OOOO this one's gonna be fun! | [send me a fandom]

The first character I first fell in love with: frenchie... obsessed with his energy and i love where his character arc is going tbh (and very disappointed to learn his actor was part of the iof and still defends them).. he always finds himself in situations and looks good while doing it

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: black noir. well. pre-season 4 black noir (keeping that vague for spoiler reasons; though i will say i am. curious. what's going on there). he was just kinda. there?? and didn't have a lot going on but once that arc began to pick up in season 3 and we learned more about his background?? oh my god. i love him so much. he's probably my fave of the bunch.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: the deep 😔 he has lovable moments but i cannot forgive him for what he has done to a certain former seven member. that kinda stuff will immediately turn me off from a character regardless if there's a genuine growth from it or not. and in his case... ehhhh.

The character I love that everyone else hates: i don't think there is one like. black noir is hella popular iirc. and i haven't seen enough about sage to say if people love or hate her? obsessed with her vibes though. i really cannot wait to see what she ends up doing because??? there is so much going on.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: i don't not love him necessarily but hughie is just kinda. there. now. idk how to say it but i'm just not? as excited by his involvement in things as i was earlier on in the series??? especially considering how he was practically following butcher off the bridge during season 3. i wanna know what halted that train so suddenly (esp with the temp v subplot like he was just as in it as butcher iirc)

The character I would totally smooch: frenchie and kimiko and colin. i want in on whatever is happening in that love triangle 💕

The character I’d want to be like: ough... hard answer but ig starlight / annie? moreso the annie side of her. obvs everyone in that bunch has their flaws, but i really do admire how she wants to help people and struggles with the putting herself out there and maintaining her personal sense of identity aspect of it. like. the arc of having this persona, watching it be shredded apart, and slowly returning to it because you realize that despite everything it's still you?? god. it hits.

The character I’d slap: the deep 😌

A pairing that I love: i know i like just ragged on hughie but i genuinely do love/did love the relationship he had with starlight. they seemed really like. healthy. for each other. more or less. they obviously had their issues, but it was like one of the healthiest things in the series JFLKAJFLSDJF. they both genuinely grew into themselves through it and i just. it's sweet.

A pairing that I despise: i don't know a lot of the ships but i vaguely remember seeing some homelander/noir stuff and i'm like 🤨🤨🤨 bc i don't... get it. they were close, sure, but i just. i feel like even without knowing the truth(tm) behind homelander's being (even though he very much did and did confess to that) but like... their personalities are so. similar. and i feel like that, on top of knowing the truth, would just be. weird. i read their closeness more as noir trying to prevent homelander from becoming another soldier boy (which uh... hm. task failed successfully?)

[howlingdemon13]

Who was your first fictional crush?:

Frodo Baggins. At least, I think he was the first one…? Little me was onto something there…

What's the first colour you think of when I tell you to think of a colour?:

Emerald green, but that’s because it’s my favorite.

Which fanfiction emotionally scarred you and still makes you shudder to this day?:

I don’t really read fanfiction if I’m being honest. I’ve tried to read and write it, but I just end up losing focus and idk why. When I do read anything, I make sure to read the tags and avoid things that might make me upset.

I'm coming to your house for dinner, non-negotiable, what are you making me?:

A beef roast with garlic harvester sauce with a side of baked potatoes and sauteed mushrooms (with enough seasoning to kill a WASP). Dessert is apple cake.

Do you prefer lions or kangaroos?:

Lions. I’m a sucker for anything kitty-cat shaped.

Which fictional villain do you brush past the glaringly obvious issues for because you really like them?:

My pwetty widdle meow-meow angel pwincess woobie babie ✨ DIO ✨

(the title is non-negotiable btw).

And honestly, Kars, too.

Also, does Beetlejuice count as a villain? I guess he does in the movies, but I’m a little more partial to the musical? So, antagonist? Anti-hero? Whatever, he gets a pass, too.

“Howie, is this because you’re a closeted monsterfu-?”

*I explode you with my eyes.*

And, because this is the piss-on-the-poor website, just because I love morally-reprehensible dudes in fiction does not mean I condone that shit irl. 🙄

What would accompany your picture in the Burn Book in Mean Girls?:

Annoying know-it-all freak lesbian (based off of multiple rumors about me that circulated in elementary and middle school. Jokes on them though! I’m bi! >:D The rest have… some basis in reality…)

How many days would you last in the universe of your favourite fandom?:

I assume this is asking for media, and I have a few main ones so…

Beetlejuice: Until I actually die-die. It’s basically how I live now since I don’t think I’d be living in a haunted house. If that is the case though, maybe a day? Depends on the bug demon’s shenanigans. At worst, a few minutes.

Lord of the Rings: Depends on where I live? If I were a hobbit in the Shire, I feel like I would survive Saruman’s takeover (I survived one Trump presidency, so…). I’d probably be fine as an elf or dwarf in the Third Age: they don’t get involved in anything lol, and I certainly wouldn’t try to reclaim Moria (sorry, Balin). If I was a Gondorian though…? That siege of Minas Tirith?!?!?! Haha, yeah, I’d be toast within minutes. Totally cooked.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Am I a Stand user? Because, if so, I’m D.O.A. But I feel like I’d probably be fine if I just ignore the Joestar-related shenanigans? … Wait, I made a sona… son of a-!

Dracula: Consider me a walking juicebox full of blood. I’d be dead-dead in a fortnight max. Can I at least be a vampire though? Like, if I’m gonna get bit, can I at least get turned and have some perks? Because I think that counts as dying.

Have you heard of Mischief Theatre?:

Respectfully, what is that? Now I’m curious.

Do you feel sorry for Medusa?:

If we’re talking about the modern retelling of the story, then obviously.

If we’re talking literally every other version of the myth, then I’m kind of ambivalent? Though I do love a well-designed monster lady…

“Howie, are you saying that because you’re a closeted monsterfu-?”

*I cut a rope. An ACME safe lands on you.*

Which song makes you think of your OTP?:

I’ll be honest, I really do not think about shipping enough to care about songs for said ships? Like, I genuinely do not care about that aspect of fandom (with a minor exception being AvPol maybe, but I really don’t think about that ship any more than, say… Beeltelands or Trephacard in the past). Not applicable lol

Which song makes you disassociate and daydream the fastest?:

Depends on the vibe we’re going for, but Funeral by Neoni or Death by Melanie Martinez ig?

Tagging @an-darth-maiden @ealvara7 @hallowyeet @justsayapple

But consider yourself tagged if you see this.

My own get to know you game:

Who was your first fictional crush?:

What’s the first colour you think of when I tell you to think of a colour?:

Which fanfiction emotionally scarred you and still makes you shudder to this day?:

I’m coming to your house for dinner, non-negotiable, what are you making me?:

Do you prefer lions or kangaroos?:

Which fictional villain do you brush past the glaringly obvious issues for because you really like them?:

What would accompany your picture in the Burn Book in Mean Girls?:

How many days would you last in the universe of your favourite fandom?:

Have you heard of Mischief Theatre?:

Do you feel sorry for Medusa?:

Which song makes you think of your OTP?:

Which song makes you disassociate and daydream the fastest?:

Tags: @weltato, @snarky-wallflower, @feathertru, @barclaysangel, @fanficwriter284, @silvershewolf247, @shadowbrightshine, @luxury-nightmare and anyone else who wants to have a go, feel free!

[angsty-twihardxx]

Hi🥀,

I was wondering if you can write Tommy has reader sit in front of a mirror and Tommy is behind reader. He decides to finger reader in front of the mirror while having reader being forced to watch themselves by holding reader by the throat. He makes them come a couple of time and the reader squirts to. Also, he praises reader a lot, does nipple play, a lot of neck kisses, and giving reader hickey’s

A/N: This drove me insaaaane, I just had to do it to em, I’ve added this to a lil series with inexperienced reader. It can be read as its own stand alone fic, bit it also works as a sequel to the first, Riding Lessons.

Anyway I hope this tames you horny beasts, plz feel free to send me some more smut ideas/requests for this sexy Texan. No use of y/n. My apologies if this is crap, I’m just built that way ig *shrugs

Warnings: 18+ (minors go play Fortnite or sm) smut obvi, fingering, reader squirts good for her. Idk if this is deserves a warning but reader is very new to sex, but its okay because Tommy is very reassuring. Mentions of body issues, talk of not feeling good enough that kinda jazz. But again don’t worry Tommy makes ya feel good. Ya‘lol are beautiful and ily

P.S: My computer decided to die so we have to do this on mobile so wish me luck x

EYES ON ME | T.MILLER

*his lil smirk*

You thought that maybe you were having a panic attack by how tight your chest felt, your heart was beating way faster than you usually would first thing in the morning. Sitting up you wiped the thin layer of precipitation off your head, which usually only ever happened when you had a nightmare, which you definitely did not have.

Your thighs vibrated at the memory of your dream from before, Tommy’s warm grip that scratched against the soft doughy skin of your hips. His touch on you was hard, the polar opposite to what he had been the entirety of your relationship.

You didn’t realise how much you missed it, his thick fingers digging into you as he rocked your hips along his clothed thigh. Even though it had been nearly a week since the night of your first orgasm, it was all that you could think about. The way that your entire body shook as you were completely overwhelmed with pleasure, you wanted Tommy to make you feel like that again.

After stretching you rolled around to see his beautiful freckled face, but instead you were met with his cold pillow. The frown that began forming on your forehead weakened at the small crinkled piece of paper with his handwriting on it. ‘In town for breakfast, see you there.’

. . .

The morning air was still frosty despite the warm glow from the sun on your face and shoulders. Even though you were wrapped up in thick jackets, including one of Tommy’s very own button downs, you were still freezing. You found Tommy sitting on an old bench in front of large dining hall as he waited for you, his hands sat in his pockets as he turned to see you walking towards him. His moustache tipping upwards, returning your curt wave with a wide smile.

Everything just felt easier with him now, there was no sexual tension that was always weighing heavy on your shoulders every time he was around you. Not that there was any pressure ever with him, it was only ever pressure that you placed. On yourself out of fear.

There was no longer a voice in your head that pressured you into doing anything out of fear of being left for someone more experienced. None of that mattered now because the two of you were happy, you were happy. Even though you hadnt ‘gone all the way’, you still felt comfortable knowing that he would guide you.

His arm moved to wrap around your shoulders as you dropped down in the empty spot beside him, using his arm to pull you into his chest he pressed a soft kiss in your hair. “Here, managed to get one extra for you.” Tommy nudged your shoulder as he handed you the sandwich, still warm wrapped neatly in wax paper. Food came in plentifuls in Jackson, but if you wanted one of Maria’s freshly made sandwiches you’d had to get in early.

“Startin’ to think you might love her more than me.” Tommy chuckled to himself as he watched you devour the food like it was the first meal you’ve eaten in weeks, which was definitely not true. “Well I guess it comes down to your sandwich making abilities.” You quipped back in between bites.

“Looks like I don’t stand a chance.” Tommy pretended to pout before dropping his head into the crook of your neck. His moustache ticked the soft skin of your neck as he peppered you with kisses. “Oh baby, that reminds me, how did you sleep last night?” Tommy teased, knowing fully well how you slept. Only imagining what it was doing to you, when you sent stiff in his arms.

The main reason Tommy was up so early was due to the wet dream you seemed to be having. If neither of you had work today he would’ve done something about it.

Tommy adjusted himself, just the memory of your sleepy voice moaning his name had his blood rushing down to his dick. You were driving him insane, and you didn’t even have a clue. He cooed playfully as he watched your cheeks warm up, you simply nodded in response knowing that if you spoke your words would fail you.

“I sure hope so because I got a little plan for us tonight. How’s that sound baby? You up for another lesson?”

Your body stiffened as you felt his hand grasp tightly onto your thigh, darting your eyes around you checked to see if anyone was watching. Was he really doing this in the middle of town? “It’s alright darlin’ no one’s payin’ attention to us, what’d’ya say?” All you could concentrate on was how his breathe fanned against your ear as his rough hand tightened on your soft skin. All of it made your body crave him more, you couldn’t think of anything better. “I think that sounds perfect Tommy.” His grip on your leg softened, clapping against your denim jeans before standing up with a groan.

“Well in that case, I’ll see you tonight.” He sent a wink your way before turning to walk away, leaving you turned on to the max. He was going to be the death of you.

. . .

Your fingers rapped on top of the hardwood table as your eyes impatiently hovered by your front door, which remained unopened. As the hours ticked by, the more restless you were becoming. The second plate of food beside you had long gone cold, as did the arousal you had been harbouring onto all day.

You had now grown tired, after a long day working in the stables all you wanted to do was cuddle up with Tommy till you fell asleep.

You knew better than to be upset with him, he worked hard in Jackson. He made an effort to earn his keep, whether it was helping with patrols or assisting in construction. It made you happy knowing that he was finding his purpose in his new life, but it just felt at times that you were moved to the back burner.

It definitely didn’t help when you went upstairs to shower, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. To say it was a kick in the guts was an understatement. Even though looks wasn’t a priority in the post-apocalyptic world, you couldn’t help feeling inadequate. Your skin was flushed after standing under the hot water. Your hair was always messy, you wondered what Tommy saw cause it surely couldn’t have been what you were currently looking at. Could it?

It was a dangerous rope you were balancing on, you knew you had better things to be worrying about than your own appearance. You wish you could stop.

That was how you ended up in your bed, wrapped up in blankets with a book in your lap. Reading the small print you tried to keep your mind busy, so you didn’t get yourself again. You were so enthralled by your book that you didn’t even hear your front door open.

Tommy leant against the door frame as he watched you. He noticed the frown forming on your forehead, and the way your bottom lip stuck out. He felt so bad being late home again, Tommy was never good at time management, or maybe it was the fact that he could never so no.

Right when he was finishing up the barn he was constructing, Maria had come by and asked to see if someone could come and fix the light in the projector at the cinema. He knew he should’ve just left it and gone home to you, but he knew the guilt would’ve eaten away at him.

You were alerted of his presence when he cleared his throat, you saw him propped against the doorframe. He sent an apologetic smile your way, his brows tipping upwards when your eyes met. “M’sorry I’m late baby, I got caught up with some work.”

“It’s alright. Dinners in the oven by the way.” You murmured with a tight lipped smile, hoping he wouldn’t notice your teary eyes. “Thanks darlin’ I’ll pack it up for tomorrow. Maria made us some food as a thank you— which reminds me. They got some pretty good movies they salvaged, some space one I reckon you’ll enjoy.” Tommy smiled like a happy child before retreating to the kitchen, which was pretty perfect timing because he missed the way your smile dropped.

‘It’s just Maria, you have nothing to worry about.’ You tried convincing yourself but it was no use. Your eyes already began to water, Maria was nice— you liked Maria.

Like a cruel monologue your mind gave you a list of reasons why she was better than you. To start she was confident, being in charge of an entire commune she was smart and well liked by literally everyone. So it would make sense that Tommy would like her too right?

“Hey everythin’ alright in here?” Tommy startled you as he was suddenly behind you on the bed. You quietly tried to wipe the tears from your cheeks. “Y-yeah I’m alright. M’sorry just tired.”

Tommy tilted his head in a frown, he knew you better than to believe you. “C’mon talk to me darlin’” His hand fell to give your thigh a gentle squeeze, contrasting his grip on you this morning. You would do anything to be in that moment with him again, not like now where his sad eyes watched you intensely.

“I- it’s nothin’ Tommy.” You tried to shrug him off again, but of course it didn’t work. He cocked a sceptical brow your way, you hated how well he knew you.

“It’s so stupid.” You groaned into your palms, so embarrassed of your own stupid brain working against you. “I just- I don’t know what it is you even like about me, I mean let’s be real I’m nothing like half the girls in Jackson and I—“

Tommy’s lips muted the worrying in your mind, his lips danced with yours. You pressed back on his lips, when you kissed him it felt like nothing else mattered to you. Not some teenage insecurities, Tommy was a man not a stupid teenage boy— and even better he was your man.

“Now where’s all this coming from, hm?” He brought his hand up to cup your cheek, his soft brown eyes peered up at you like you could tell him everything. You could tell him everything, but that could wait, right now you just wanted him.

“It doesn’t matter, can you just kiss me?”

“That I can do.” He chuckled before bringing his lips back onto yours. You pushed hard with a fever, the fire being ignited inside you again as a moan escaped your lips. His hands grasped your cheeks, pushing you even closer to him if that was even possible. Tommy lifted you to straddle on his lap, as instinct your hips grinder on his crotch. God you wanted him so badly.

“Didn’t you say you had a little lesson planned for me?” You breathed into him between hunger-filled kisses. Tommy looked up at you in what seemed to be a mix of surprise and excitement, never did he see you so confident, he loved it.

The glint of mischief in his eyes returned, he took your clothes off in a fever. Your eyes fell to the ground out of instinct, avoiding your reflection in the mirror. You suddenly became hyper aware of how vulnerable you were, Tommy had never seen you completely naked before. He offered to sit in between his lap on the edge of your bed. “Y’know I think you're beautiful right? I mean can you blame me?”

His large hands softly climbed up your side till his fingers danced along your shoulders as he moved the strand of hair that exposed the nape of your neck. You felt like a lightning bolt struck through your core as his lips sucked onto you softly.

You let out a moan as his free hand moved to grasp your entire breast in one hand, he kneaded the soft skin and the familiar feeling of arousal pooled in between your legs. Tommy noticed how your legs clenched when he flicked your now budded nipples. Soft moans mewled from your open mouth as your head fell back onto his shoulder.

“Nu-huh baby, I want your eyes on me.” Tommy tapped your cheek, bringing your attention back to the room. You looked at him confused, “But I- I am—“

“‘Not at me, me.” Tommy nodded his head towards the mirror in front of you- “‘Oh.”

“Can I try somethin’ else with you baby?” You felt a shiver down your spine as he whispered into your ear, his eyes met yours in the mirror. “What is it?”

Without answering Tommy pushed your knees to the side, exposing your eager pussy. “D’you trust me baby?”

“‘Yes.” You murmured as you felt your body tremble in nerves but also as much eagerness. There wasn’t anything you wanted more right now than Tommy’s hands on you.

Your skin burned as his rough fingers grazed the inside of your thigh, you followed his fingers in the mirror as he moved painfully slowly to where you needed him the most. Your hips bucked against his touch, showing him exactly where you wanted those fingers.

“So eager darlin’”

“Tommy please.” You whined as your back curving instinctively, rocking your hips against where his dormant fingers laid dangerously close to your exposed cunt.

You let out a surprised gasp, his thick fingers filled you up perfectly. He started off soft, slowly easing in his middle finger as he let you adjust to him. “H-holy shit Tommy.” You breathed as his free hand moved to slowly massage your aching clit. “Yeah? That feel good baby?” He smiled wickedly into your hair as you nodded frantically, pleasure already filling you up as your head dropped back onto his shoulder, but snapping your head up as you remembered his instructions. “Tell me how good it feels darlin’” Tommy’s voice was at least an octave lower, sending more chills down your spine.

“S’really fucken good Tommy.” You gasped as you felt his finger stretching you open, if this was how good it felt to have his fingers in you you could only imagine what his dick would feel like.

Pressure in your stomach began to build as his pace quickened. You felt your orgasm coming quicker then last time, you welcomed it as you rocked your hips involuntary pushing his finger in deeper.

“That’s it baby, y’doing so fucken good.” He brought his mouth down to suck at the soft skin on your neck, while his hand pumped into you relentlessly. “Tommy!” You screamed as you felt your orgasm unravel throughout your entire body, your pussy clenching around his finger as he kept going.

You were a shivering mess, only a mixture of whines and ‘oh my gods’ falling from your already parted mouth.

Your legs still trembled as Tommy soothed you, his hand brushing back the strands of hair that stuck to your forehead. “Good job baby, you did so good for me.” He cooed into your hair, pressing gentle kisses as your chest heaved.

That was when you realised, nothing else mattered. Tommy was the one making you feel this good, no one else. He cemented that as he repeated in your ear how much he loved you, his facial hair tickling your already sensitive skin as he did so. God you really did love this man, huh?

“Y’reckon you could go again for me?”

All you could was nod in response, your mind feeling like it was going a million miles a minute. He didn’t start straight away though, he was patient with you. He waited for your heart to start beating at a normal pace before bringing his fingers back to your aching hole, you watched as he added another finger.

Filthy moans filled the air as you adjusted to his extra finger inside you, you felt like you were being stretched open. Already your hips were shaking, his thick fingers felt like they were hitting your cervix. It was almost hypnotic, watching the way his fingers would disappear in between your folds before pulling back out just as swiftly.

His free hand remained glued to your now swollen clit, as he menacingly taunted it with his rough fingers. Only egging on your climax more and more.

No words fell from your lips anymore, Tommy had basically turned you into a writhing mess as your stomach tightened.

For a very brief moment it felt like you weren’t a world where you had to survive with Cordyceps and people that hunted and killed, it was simply you and Tommy in this room. That was how you wanted it.

The feeling was getting so intense you shut your eyes out of instinct. With your eyes closed you could concentrate on the way your hips rocked with each thrust of his hand, you knew you weren’t going to last long.

“Eyes up, I want you to watch.” Tommy growled as his free hand moved up to envelope your neck, not hard but enough to bring your head up to catch a glimpse of your position in the mirror. His thick fingers around you shouldn’t make you even more aroused, should it?

“Good girl.” He was going to be the death of you.

“Fuck!” Your eyes squinted shut as you felt the tight knot in your stomach unravelled again, but this time it was so much better. Almost like a gush erupted from you. Your ears rang as your eyes squinted shut, suddenly overly aware of the bright light that overhang your bed.

Your second orgasm in a row felt like a hundred times more intense, it felt like your whole body was vibrating. Like you were going a million miles a minute, or maybe it was the room that was spinning.

“You okay baby? You did so good for me.” His voice was soft as he turned to face you properly now, his eyes checked you over one last time. He looked at you with nothing short of amazement and you wish that he never stopped.

After a few seconds you came back to, your eyes just stuck to the ceiling as your chest heaved while you tried to catch your breath. Then you noticed the warmth pooling on your bedsheets, Tommy noticed your confusion and gave you a reassuring squeeze.

“You fucken squirted baby.” He breathed out in amazement.

“Bet you never knew you could do that.” Tommy hummed in amusement as he looked down to where he held you. Your cheeks were rosy as your half-lidded eyes connected with his, a dopey smile grew on his lips.

“If I did I would’ve brought a towel.” You couldn’t help the laugh that fell from your lips, amusement filling the room as the two of you chuckled together. You loved how easy it was for the two of you, even after he stole a second orgasm from you he could make you laugh. It was his Texan charm, according to Tommy but you knew it was just him.

“C’mon darlin’ let’s get you cleaned up.” He pressed a chaste kiss on your cheek before standing up with you in front of him, your legs quivered as you stood up for the first time in what felt like forever. “Tommy? I don’t think I can walk.” You looked up at him with worry, was this normal?

“It’s okay baby, it means I’m doing my job right.”

He thought about what you were saying when he found you crying in your bed, how you didn’t know what he saw in you. There was never just one singular thing, a multitude of reasons that he loved you. And the fact you didn’t see a reason why he would love you dumbfounded him. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure you knew.