#i just want to like things a normal amount.

[casadepalermo]

I disagree. It’s an effective way to store memory bc it can literally remember what you’ve input into a piece of work so when you let it proof read your work it can catch inconsistencies or continuity errors.

Its a great way to find information as well.

Ex If you have a character break their arm or something you can get step by step instructions on the medical procedure treating and or resetting the break. This ensures accuracy and but allows the writer the ability to showcase a character’s personality and state of mind when they are in an certain type of situation or condition that is not normal for them.

Or you could just say “character A broke their arm and came back a few hours later with a cast” and skip all that

But I think the realism adds to the story and helps to define different character and characters

Then again I don’t primarily write fanfic but if you do you’re already borrowing someone else’s idea to start with so I really don’t see how that work is made would matter since it’s not an original concept

But on a serious and informative note there are ai applications made and developed for writing and even professionals will use them bc you don’t have to credit ai because it learns from everything you tell it and input in there. So anything that it outputs is considered your original idea.

I like to use it to help me analyze things. I’ll have it read everything I have written and ask it stuff like:

—based on their personality/history/habits (which I have to add to memory or tell it: ‘character a is brave loyal heroic, proud, confident, happy, doesn’t like heights hates mustard, wants to be the best at everything or the first do whatever’) how would character a most likely respond in this situation; would they do option a or option b (I put in the options).

AI will then say some shit like

—“if they do option a it will be a smoother transition and they will arrive in a shorter amount of time than option but

— if you do option b you can use this time to introduce this plot line (again I have to give it the plot line so it is in the memory so it can pull from it) or you could use this additional scene time to have a twist and leave a cliffhanger ending for your next chapter to emphasize the sense of “whatever” in your “whatever” character arch etc (one more time lol I’ve already input my chapter outlines and summaries into the memory so it can read through it)

So it’s kind of helpful especially if you want accurate fact finding

ai does not belong in creative spaces. period.

[prettyboyeddiemunson]

guilty as sin?

summary: eddie and y/n watch a special movie and get up to things.

word count: 3.9k

warnings/notes: smut, watching p*rn, masturbation (m & f), fingering, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, squirting

a/n: this is a blurb that ties in with my gods & monsters series on ao3! as usual, reader is 18+! also this was supposed to include her touching herself a little longer than i originally planned, but this thing took on a life of its own as soon as i started writing it. i hope you enjoy!

————————————-

“are you excited for this, baby?”

y/n was sitting on her parents’ bed, waiting for eddie to get the movie ready. she had never seen it before—something called “porn.” she knew what that was, of course, but she had never seen it. she and eddie had been having sex for a month, and he had suggested it to her one night as they lay together. she was open to it, even if she was a little bit nervous about it. she watched as eddie tinkered with the vcr, her legs dangling off the edge of the bed as she swung them. 

“a little,” she answered, sitting back on her elbows. “is it going to work?”

“yeah, it should,” he said. “this tape sometimes likes to be eaten, which I find ironic, considering..”

she giggled, couldn't help it. “oh yeah? is there a lot of that in it?”

“a fair amount,” he said. “it has your favorite.”

“which one?” she asked. “I have a lot of favorites.”

“eating out after being creampied,” eddie said, hitting play. “i think it’s going to work, baby. let’s lie back and watch it.”

she lay back with him, falling into his arms. she snuggled against him, watching as the movie began with a disclaimer. she looked up at eddie, who was looking down at her with a grin. she leaned up and kissed him, and he returned the kiss feverishly. she whimpered against his lips, biting at his lower lip as he growled into the kiss. she chuckled and kissed him harder, her fingers tangling in the ends of his hair. he drew back after a moment, his grin widening as he stroked her cheek.

“save it,” he said. “i want to see how you act when we start the movie.”

“is it gonna start yet?” she asked. “I didn’t think these kinds of movies had this many credits.”

“yeah, it’s about to start now,” eddie said. “see?”

she started watching the movie, snuggled up against eddie. the movie started off like any normal movie would. a woman answered the door in lingerie, greeting the repairman as he ogled her. y/n rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness of it, but kept watching. the woman led the man in to where the hot water tank was, showing him the problem and leaving him to fix it. as he was doing so, the woman went into her bedroom, laid back on the bed, and started touching herself as she moaned loudly and in exaggeration. y/n wasn’t fazed yet, but kept watching. eddie was looking at her for a reaction, and she smiled at him as she kissed him again.

“what do you think so far?” he asked.

“i think this is really weird so far,” she said. “people enjoy this?”

he chuckled. “yeah, but it gets better. you should keep watching.”

she did, watching as the man came to find the woman. the woman was still touching herself and moaning, and the man found her and dropped his toolbox. y/n giggled and kept watching, the man walking into the room and watching the woman on the bed. the woman opened her legs wider for invitation and the camera did a close up of her pussy. y/n looked away then, blushing and shy. eddie chuckled, kissing her hair and drawing her tighter against him. she kept watching; it was like a trainwreck she couldn’t look away from. 

“it’s about to get good, baby,” eddie said, squeezing her tighter. “just watch.”

“I hope so,” she said. “i'm bored so far.”

he laughed, shaking his head. “you really don’t have much patience, do you?”

“hmm, no,” she said. “is the good stuff about to happen?”

“yep,” he said. “watch.”

she kept watching, and eddie had been right. soon the man was eating her out, messily and noisily over the music. y/n watched, fascinated, as he worked, her eyes big and her mouth hanging open. eddie saw her awestruck expression and laughed, kissing her deeply as she pressed her body against his. she tangled her fingers in his hair, lifting one of her legs over his hip and grinding against him slightly. eddie moaned low in his throat, his hand coming down to squeeze her ass. she whined, pushing herself against him more urgently before he drew back to look down at her. 

“fuck,” he said. “already getting desperate, huh?”

“just because it’s you,” she said. “i’m always desperate for you.”

“so i see,” he teased, poking her nose. “i think it’s adorable.”

“let’s keep watching,” she said. “i wanna see what happens next.”

the man kept eating the woman out, y/n watching as eddie kissed her neck. she giggled, still watching the movie as eddie’s hand came up her shirt. she swatted it at away and he did it again, squeezing her breast and playfully biting at her neck. she let him that time, knowing that it was a losing battle, anyway. she turned to kiss him as the woman’s moans grew louder, and he tugged at her lower lip with his teeth. she gasped, pulling at his hair before she allowed him to take her shirt off. he kissed her breasts over her bra, exploring with his mouth and hands. she mewled, pressing her body against his and tugging at his hair as he, too, moaned. 

“you’re the eager one now,” she said, giggling. “you’re all eager for me.”

“I always am,” he said, smirking. “just like you are for me.”

“I can’t help it with you,” she said. “you’re just so hot.”

“you’re the hottest woman in the world, baby,” he said, tracing her nipple through the fabric of her bra. “can i take your clothes off? i have an idea.”

“what’s your idea?” she asked.

“i want you to touch yourself for me,” he said. “while you watch the movie.”

she blushed. “oh…”

“do you want to?” he asked.

“mmm hmm,” she said. “even though i’m a little nervous.”

“it’s okay,” he said. “i can talk you through it, if you want me to.”

“okay,” she said, standing up to take her clothes off. she laid next to him fully naked, her cheeks hot. “i’m here now.” 

“good girl,” eddie said, smirking as he studied her nude body. “you’re so beautiful.”

her cheeks heated more, and a giggle passed her lips. “you think so?”

“I know so,” he said, taking her hand and guiding it between her legs. “be a good girl for me now.”

she started slowly running her fingers through her folds, a whine passing her lips. she watched the movie for a moment, but it wasn’t doing much for her anymore. the man went from eating her out to fucking her, but it seemed so fake that it was almost laughable. she turned her attention from the movie back to eddie, who was watching her with hungry eyes. she giggled and kept going, her fingers massaging as eddie licked his lips. 

“I wish you would touch me, too,” she said.

“I will later,” he said. “for now, I just wanna watch you do it. rub your clit for me.”

she kept going, swirling her fingers through her folds as she felt herself getting more wet. she moaned as she rubbed her clit, looking over at eddie to see what he was doing. he had pulled his cock out and was jerking himself off, his mouth slack as his fist moved slowly over his erection. she looked back at the movie and saw the man still fucking the woman, absolutely drilling her as she moaned exaggeratedly. y/n had to suppress an eye roll; it was so over the top that it was almost laughable. she didn’t want to hurt eddie’s feelings, though, so she kept herself under control. 

“just like that,” he said, groaning as he kept going. “that’s my good fucking girl.”

“it feels so good,” she gasped. “but I want you to touch me now.”

“not yet,” he said. “soon, though, I promise. finger yourself for me.”

she did so, inserting two fingers inside of herself as she moaned. her back arched and she pushed them deeper, down to the last knuckle. eddie watched her, the movie forgotten by both of them as they watched each other work. she moaned as she fucked herself, her fingers working quickly as her thumb swiped at her clit. eddie kept watching her, his gaze never wavering as he stroked his cock. he didn’t speed up, but instead kept a steady pace that was more in tune with her own movements. 

“please,” she begged. “I want you to touch me.”

“oh yeah?” he asked, smirking. “you can’t stand it any longer, can you?”

“no,” she said. “please..”

he took her hand and guided it, pushing her fingers in and out of her pussy as he rubbed her clit. she whined, allowing him to do it as he leaned down to suck on one of her nipples. she moaned, fingering herself deeper as her stomach began to tighten. she grabbed his hair and pulled, arching her back as he moaned against her skin. his free hand kept stroking his cock, his movements getting faster as her orgasm approached. 

“i’m getting so close,” she warned, bucking her hips to meet her own touch. “i want to cum on your tongue.”

“oh?” he asked, smirking. “that’s what you want, huh?”

“yes it is,” she said. “please.”

“well…since you asked so nicely…” he said, withdrawing his hand from her and from himself and kneeling in front of her. “i guess we’ll have to do it then, won’t we?”

“please yes,” she begged. “please, i don’t like begging so much.”

“poor thing,” eddie said, kissing her inner thighs. “you poor thing.”

“don’t tease me,” she said. “you’ve done enough of that already.”

“why not?” he asked, smirking at her. “i think it’s fun to watch you squirm.”

“because i just want you to do it already!” she said with a roll of her eyes. “it’s been too long!”

“okay, okay,” he said, licking a stripe up her pussy and moaning. “fuck, you taste so good. so sweet.”

she mewled, and eddie dove in. he ate her out feverishly, as if he were a man starving. she grabbed hold of his hair, her thighs already quivering as he worked on her. he looked up at her over her mound, his dark hair falling into his eyes as he pushed his tongue inside of her. she moaned, bucking her hips slightly as he smirked against her. she wanted to slap his head for that, but she was too engrossed in what he was doing to give it much more thought. he gripped her thighs tightly, as if he were a man drowning and was clinging to his only salvation, and she welcomed the thought of the bruises it might leave behind. she did love being marked up by him, after all, and he was doing a good job of that tonight.

“your parents would be so pissed if they could see us right now,” eddie said. “especially your dad.”

“fuck him,” she said. “i don’t care what he thinks about us.”

“neither do i,” he said, sucking on her clit for a moment as she gasped. “was that good?”

“mmm hmm,” she hummed, tugging at his hair as he pushed two fingers inside of her. “please keep going.”

“i really need to fuck you soon,” he said, chuckling against her as he sucked on her clit again. “i’m about to burst.”

“come here, then,” she said. “fuck me.”

“yeah?” he asked, smiling at her. his face glistened with her juices, and he didn’t make any effort to wipe it away. “you don’t wanna cum on my tongue first?”

“hmm, okay,” she said. “i am pretty close.”

“okay, baby,” he said, diving back in. “i’ll give you what you want.”

it didn’t take much longer. a few more sucks of her clit and fucking her on his fingers and she was letting go, crying out his name and cumming all over his face. he smiled, sitting back and watching as she experienced her high. when she came down from it, he kissed his way up her body and sucked on each breast before smashing his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. she whined, kissing him back and tasting herself on his lips & tongue. he kissed her deeply, lining himself up with her pussy and slapping his dick against it. she giggled, pushing her hips forward in invitation. he sought her consent with a look and she nodded, giving him permission. he slid inside of her with ease and she moaned, clinging to his back as he moaned low in her ear.

“christ, you feel so fucking good,” he breathed. “you’re so goddamn wet.”

“all for you,” she said. “just for you.”

“yeah?” he asked. “just for me, huh? no one else?”

“nope, no one else,” she said. “please fuck me now.”

“how do you want it?” he asked, giving one shallow, slow thrust as he looked down at her. “fast and hard or slow and soft?”

“fast and hard, please,” she said, clinging to his back and looking into his eyes. “i want you to be rough like they’re being in the movie.”

indeed they were. in the movie, the man had taken to fucking the woman from behind as hard and as fast as was humanly possible. y/n didn’t think it WAS possible; he was going almost like a jackhammer. she wondered if they used special effects even in those kind of movies, and found that she didn’t much care one way or another. she was focused on her own pleasure right now, not some imaginary, fake pleasure in the movie. the woman was moaning and yelling on the tv and y/n had to suppress another eye roll at how fake it all sounded. surely she didn’t sound like that, did she?

“eddie,” she said, moaning as he pushed himself even deeper inside of her. “do i sound like that woman?”

“hm?” he asked, looking over his shoulder at the tv before shaking his head. “no, baby, you don’t. your moans are so much hotter because yours are actually real.”

“really?” she asked, hooking her legs around his waist and pulling him in as deeply as he could go. “maybe you should start fucking me then so you can hear them.”

“wow,” he said, starting to thrust as he smirked down at her. “i’m impressed, y/n. you went from this good catholic girl to my own personal porn star. when the hell did that happen?”

she giggled, digging her heels into his ass. “it happened as soon as you started fucking me. i was really missing out, but i honestly never wanted to do it with anyone until you came along. the thought of it kinda grossed me out before.”

“oh yeah?” eddie asked, groaning as he began to pick up the pace a little. “all those good catholic boys and steve turned your stomach, huh?”

“well, steve was okay, i guess,” she said. “but the other ones were all gross and i think they were secretly doing it behind their parents’ backs.”

“just like you’re doing now, huh?” he teased, leaning down to kiss her neck. “you’re so funny sometimes.”

“i’m gonna get really funny if you don’t shut up and fuck me,” she said.

“so bossy,” he said, leaving a mark on her neck and laughing. “oops, you might have to wear a scarf for a little bit.”

“i don’t care,” she said. “please.”

“alright,” he said, looking down at her again as he began to move faster.

she gasped as he began to ram directly against her sweet spot, her eyes rolling back for a moment as she clung to him tightly. he moaned in her ear as he thrust deeply, making sure to rail her with every thrust inward. he kissed her sloppily, their tongues meeting before their lips, their moans lost in each other’s mouths as she dug her nails slightly into his back. he groaned at the contact, drawing back to look down at her as his movements increased. she could feel her stomach tightening already, and she opened her mouth to tell him she was close. before she could tell him, though, she was cumming hard, her nails scratching hard down his back as he moaned deep in his throat. she soaked the bed below them, her mouth agape as her head was thrown back. eddie was kissing her neck again, dipping low to get what he could reach of her chest, smiling against her skin as he did so.

“that’s my good girl,” he said. “there she is.”

“don’t stop,” she begged. “please don’t stop.”

“i wasn’t planning on it anytime soon, baby,” he said, kissing her gently on the lips. “i’m gonna make you cum again.”

“are you?” she asked.

“yes i am,” he said. “i’m going to make you scream this time. louder than that woman on tv.”

she had largely forgotten the movie until then, and she looked over his shoulder to see what was happening. it seemed as if it were pretty much over; the man was slowing down and the woman had quieted some. she focused her attention back to eddie, smiling up at him as she pulled him down for another kiss. he kept going, and she whined as he pushed against her sensitive sweet spot, but it still felt so good. she felt dizzy, exhilarated, and as if she were on top of the world. she clenched around him once, twice, and felt him twitch inside of her. that was a bad idea, then; she didn’t want him cumming too soon, after all. she ran her hands down his back to soothe the scratches she left, and was surprised to see that his back was sticky. she drew her hands back and saw a little blood on them, and she looked up at him in alarm. he chuckled, shaking his head as he kissed over her face.

“nah, it’s okay,” he said. “i like it.”

“but doesn’t it hurt?” she asked. “i would think that it would hurt.”

“not really,” he said. “i think it feels good.”

“oh,” she said, her own skin slick with sweat as his, too, became wet. “are you getting close?”

“yep, i’m getting there,” he said, rubbing her clit in fast, hard circles. “how about you?”

“i think so,” she said. “i want you to cum inside of me.”

“you do?” he asked. “usually you don’t want that.”

“i do now,” she said. “please, i don’t care. it’ll be fine.”

“are you sure?” he asked, his hair hanging down as he gazed at her. “i don’t want you to get pregnant.”

“i’m fine right now,” she said. “i promise. i’d tell you to use a condom if i wasn’t.”

“are you going to go get on birth control like you said?” he asked.

“yep,” she said. “i made the appointment for next week.”

“good girl,” he said, moaning as he kept going. “fuck, i don’t know how much longer i can hold off.” 

“me either,” she said, gasping loudly as he rubbed her clit again. “fuck, this feels so good!”

“yeah?” he asked, smirking. “i’m glad you think so, baby.”

“i really do!” she said, clenching around him again. “you’re so big.”

“and you’re so fucking wet,” he said. “the wettest pussy in the whole world and it’s all mine.”

“all yours,” she echoed, her mouth agape as he started absolutely pounding her. “eddie!”

“let go,” he said, rubbing her clit harder and faster. “go on, baby.”

she didn’t need to be told twice. a few minutes later she came hard again, squirting all over eddie and the bed, her eyes rolled back as she screamed his name. she scratched him hard again, more blood being drawn as he growled in her ear. her own orgasm was followed by his own not even a minute later, and he came deep inside of her with a moan of her name. he rocked his hips to a stop, pulling out of her and collapsing next to her on the bed. he reached for his cigarettes, lighting one and offering her a drag. she took it, giggling at the thought of her parents smelling cigarette smoke in their bedroom. she would air it out as best as she could before they got back, but it was still hilarious to her that her dad might blow his top over it. normally that would have bothered her, but not now. the movie had ended, she and eddie were content, and that’s all that mattered to her.

“i love you,” he said, holding her with one arm as he used the other to smoke. “i love you so much.”

“i love you, too,” she said, snuggling up to him and kissing over his tattoos on his chest. “i really love you so much.”

“i’m so glad that you do,” he said, taking a long drag of his cigarette and slowly exhaling the smoke. “you’re everything to me, y/n. everything and so much more.”

“i think you’re the best,” she said. “i couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend.”

“and i couldn’t have asked for a better girlfriend,” he said, kissing her hair. “i truly mean that.”

she giggled, kissing his tattoos again as she looked up at him. “i kinda wish we could go again.”

he laughed as well, shaking his head as he kissed her sweetly. “give me about an hour and maybe we’ll talk. i could use a shower, though.”

“me too,” she said. “maybe we could take one after you smoke your cigarette.”

“yeah, we should,” he said, trailing his fingers down her back. “y/n?”

“yeah?”

“your dad is going to kill me for this.”

“i’ll make sure he doesn’t.”

“you don’t mind that i’m doing it?”

“no.”

“good.”

they lay in silence for a little bit, until eddie stamped out his cigarette and got up. he held his hand out for her and she took it, walking to her parents’ bathroom and starting the shower. before they stepped in, she was silent, looking down at the floor as eddie looked at her in concern. 

“what is it?” he asked. “are you okay?”

“yeah,” she said, looking up at him with a smile. “i was just thinking.”

“uh oh, that’s dangerous,” he teased.

she rolled her eyes. “never mind.”

“no, tell me,” he said. “i’m sorry.”

“i was thinking about how i’d like to watch more movies like that,” she said. “i had fun tonight.”

“oh yeah?” eddie asked. “well, i’ve got more. maybe we can watch another one tomorrow.”

“i’d like that,” she said, pulling him toward the shower. “come on, let’s get in.” 

[screamingforests]

This is a shoot off of the amazing @beloveds-embrace designationless!reader au! All credit for this A/B/O AU goes to her and go give her support!!!

Based on this specific scenario

Cw: Heavy angst, medical torture, inaccurate medical things, very little comfort

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe it was the way no one noticed you when you walked into the room that made you think you were normal. Maybe it was the way people around you edged away, put off by your lack of scent. The way everyone looked at you with pity.

You didn't want that. Your entire life you had just wanted to fit in. You wanted to be someone that someone else loved.

Maybe it was your family that was the root of the problem, the ones who separated you from your siblings who were all normal. The family that never let you into their mest, claiming your lack of scent, would destroy the atmosphere. That family ignored you, never responding to you. The ones who left to grasping for a relationship, only to realize you would never have one because you were less.

"I've noticed the way people edge away from me, the way they stare! I'm not normal, and this is my chance!" Desperation edged in your voice. "I just- it would be easier this way!"

Johnny chewed on his lip, "easier for who? We all accept you for you, lad."

"This procedure, it's downright inhumane," Simon adds, his brows furrowed as he looked at you, as if truly seeing /you/ for the first time. The scared child you were, wanting to be normal. "It changes you on a base level - I could kill you, dove. It's barely even out of its testing phase."

You sighed. Weren't you allowed to be selfish for once, to want?

"I know," Your voice is quiet but resolute, mind stuck in its decision. "But I want it."

John looks at you. Kyle looks between you and John, eyes full of nervousness. His arms were crossed, looking down his nose at you.

It reminds you so much of the look your dad would give you, the few times he was forced to interact with you.

"No - I won't allow you to get this procedure," John's voice almost rings in your ears. Out of all of them, you thought he might be able to understand.

Of course you were wrong.

You pull away from them, eyes burning. Your mind was made up, it had been since the moment the idea was out into you.

The pack just looks at you with sad eyes, as if understanding the pain you have lived with. As if they could ever understand the feeling of looking into a world, living in it for short amounts of time, but never really belonging.

~

It's weeks later, but you finally have your appointment. You hadn't told anyone about it, you didn't want them to worry.

It had to be fine, right?

~

It hurt, so bad. Pain sang throughout your body, needles sticking out of your skin, and probes stuck with adhesive. You screamed in pain but no one was coming.

You had checked in alone, even told the nurses you didn't want visitors.

No one soothed the pain like Simon did, no one cooed comforts into your ear like Kyle. John and Johnny weren't there to ground you. You were alone, packless.

And only had yourself to blame.

~

It started out small, the loss of sense in your fingers and toes. The doctors assured you it would come back, even if their voice was condescending. Like talking to a child.

(Simon and Kyle would've tag teamed together to massage feeling back into them - They had once, when you feel through ice on a frozen lake.)

You were constantly tired now, something you chalked up to the amount of tests you had been put through the few days you were checked in.

(John would always purr to help you sleep, a commodity you missed. You wished he was here.)

The hunger was easily explained, the staff did forget to bring you food but you didn't want to bother them. They probably forgot because you still had no scent and were easily overlooked. You didn't blame them.

(Johmny would've never forgot, he was always making sure your plate was piled high.)

~

Everything was blurry now, your sight starting to go. Another temporary side effect someone assured you. You couldn't remember whose voice it was.

But it didn't matter, a scent was starting to form. You were going to be normal soon. And even if your body was in constant flight or fight, you were going to fit in.

The way the doctors were seemingly cruel didn't matter. The way the nurses purposefully took more blood to keep you dizzy and compliant was suddenly okay.

You didn't need to know the more your pack pleaded to be with you, the crueler they were. You didn't need to know it was an enemy in disguise, slowly killing you to get back at your pack. The "scent" was just a chemical by-product of your body reacting to all the medications it was being put through.

It would stay, of-course, you might even present with a second gender if it went on long enough.

You didn't need to know so they didn't tell you.

~

Time was getting hard to keep track of. Your sight was nearly gone, and your wounds were slow to heal. Every day was pain. You started to forget why you checked in.

~

It was harder to move now. Your limbs refused to respond to your commands. They were heavy and your mind was too clouded to question it.

Your scent was turning sickly and almost sweet. As if prepping itself for a reactionary heat.

~

The next time you came to, you didn't know what was happening. You could hear shouting and a monotone sound. You felt like you were floating.

That should worry you, you think.

Eletricity rakes your body suddenly, and you're grounded again. Sightless and unable to move. Pain wracking every thought that appears.

You lose yourself to the inky darkness again. Unable to place the fact that you could smell other's scents now.

~

More shouting. These voices were more familiar. It almost sounded like your pack but that couldn't be right, could it?

Hadn't they left you? Or had you left them? You couldn't remember, your mind too slow. You wanted to know, though.

You're able to force a small whine to leave your throat, the first sound besides screaming you had made in what felt like months. There's loud footsteps as someone rushes to your side.

"It's okay, it's okay, we've got you, lad," a familiar voice says. He smells like the ocean and the smoke that comes after an explosion. You like it, it wraps around you like a blanket. "...christ- look at 'em- what've they done to them?"

"We'll figure it out later, for now, its time to go," Another voice says, roughened by what you can assume is years of smoking. He smells like high-quality cigars and soft cedar wood, like the ones surrounding your house when you grew up. "Guns up, we go out blazing."

A new person picks you up, your body immediately curling into him. He smells like petricor and bourbon, tinged with cigarette smoke. He doesn't say another but you decide you like both of the new scents.

A hand smoothes your hair. The last person, he smells like ozone and the forest. You can't describe it, but his voice is low and soothing when he says, "we'll get you home sweets."

And that's the last thing you know before you lose yourself again. Comforted by people you can't remember but you were obviously important to them.

~

It takes months to heal in a normal hospital. Your sight still hasn't fully returned, but glasses help.

So does your pack. While the procedure somewhat worked, your scent came and went. You were more normal than before and even if everything hurt now and you had to do physical therapy, you felt like you belonged.

When you were first admitted, your body had gone through a heat. It presented as an omega, but that was the only instance of it. The staff had you on regular blockers now until your new hormones stabled out. It felt okay, for now.

That didn't change the hurt and all you went through, but it would be okay.

Especially when you were curled up in a temporary nest with your pack in the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: HELLO PEOPLE! I wrote this on my phone in under an hour so I hope everyone enjoys <3

[rose-in-blue]

"Any Time, Mon Cher"

Alastor x reader

Warnings/tags: fluff, Alastor being smarmy, afab reader, an aggressive amount of commas and parenthesis, deer kink(?), slightly suggestive, Alastor isn't repulsed by touch at least not from (Y/N), cursing, thoughts in italics, the hotel has a kitchen?

A/n: this is my first time posting fanfic, so please go easy on me, guys! let me know if I made any errors in the comments <3

1176 words

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“I seriously can’t believe you, Alastor!” you shouted, for what seemed like the hundredth time. 

“I really don’t see the problem here, dear,” he said, slightly more passive aggressive than normal.

You two had been fighting for the last 10 minutes or so, standing in the small kitchen of the Hazbin Hotel. While your fight had started with a simple argument over a slight misunderstanding, soon the gates broke and the flood began— every single thing that Alastor had done that ticked you off just rushed out in a wave that you couldn't seem to stop.

“Argh, you’re just… the… the worst!!” you screamed into his face, lacking better words. 

Alastors eyes narrowed, shit-eating-grin strained slightly, ears flicking back for a brief moment. You barely caught the change in his eyes or smile, but your eyes darted up at the movement from his fluffy, red and black ears.

You’d never admit it, but ever since you’d arrived at the hotel, you’d had a bit of an obsession over the Radio Demon. He was aggravating and full of himself and bitchy and narcissistic, but something about him always seemed to make your heart beat a little faster. Especially his more… deer-like features.

Antlers, ears, (speculated) tail— you were fascinated by it all. All you wanted to do was run your hand up the back of his ears, tangling in his hair, while you lay, gasping, helpless beneath him, completely at his mercy…

You blinked, realizing that you’d been staring for a few moments too long. Alastor noticed, of course. Smiling wider, he decided to have some fun with it.

“Really, darling? In what ways am I…” he flicked his ears backwards, then forwards again, “the worst?”

You blushed, eyes never breaking from his ears. “Uh, well, I… for starters…” you trailed off.

“...Yes, dear? I’m listening.” His left ear flicked to the side.

“Oh, well, you know…” you desperately tried to gain control of the conversation, looking into his eyes again. “You’re incredibly full of yourself.”

“Oh, really, (Y/N)? And you’re so humble?” He grinned impossibly wider, ears flicking in every which way.

“Well, ya know, I…” Get a hold of yourself, (Y/N), you thought, eyes trying to focus on anything else but the demon in front of you. “I’m not an asshole about it.” Fuck, why did you say that?!

Alastor threw his head back and laughed, his ears finally stopping. You pouted, hating to be the butt of whatever sadistic joke you were to him. “Really? Is that what you think of me?” he asked, still laughing.

“I… I mean, I…” What did you mean? Sure, Alastor could be shitty at times, but he seemed to have a soft spot for you… at least, that’s what you thought. You didn’t really know anymore.

He bent at the waist, face drawing closer to yours, and it seemed as if he read your mind. “What did you mean, sweetheart? I’m listening.” His ears shifted back (purposefully, of course– he just loved to see you squirm). That was the final breaking point for you.

“Oh, fuck you, Alastor!” you turned your head away, suddenly very aware that your back was now firmly pressed against the kitchen counter.

“You’re welcome to try, dear.”

HE DID NOT JUST—

You blushed, and your eyes flashed to his instantly, because there was no way in hell that he just said that.

The smirk that played across his face told you that he had indeed just said that.

“I…I…I-I,” you stammered, not quite able to process it. His smirk grew, especially after his ears twitched to the front again and your eyes followed every movement and his eyes followed yours.

Changing the subject (thank Satan), his smile shifted to a kinder one, eyes looking up to where his ears stood, then back at you. "Would you like to touch them, darling?"

You were silent for a moment, taken aback. "What-- I'm sorry?"

You heard him, of course, and he knew that, so he continued. "As long as our little argument is over, that is." He reached down and took your hand, eyes never breaking away from yours. "As much as I love our friendly banter, it hurts me so much to see you so angry at me."

You didn't know what so say for once, so you just let him bring your hand to to the side of his temple, almost touching his hair.

"...I..." Honestly, you were surprised you got that much out.

Still smiling, his eyes stared into your soul. "Use your words, dear."

Well, there was no going back now. You threw all your embarrassment out the window and nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes, Alastor, I do."

Alastor smiled (you could swear there was kindness behind it), bowed his head, and pressed your hand to the base of his ear.

You almost gasped. The hair (hair? fur? hair-fur?) was soft, softer than you'd imagined. Your fingers gently danced up and down his ear, and then moved over to caress his antlers.

Meanwhile, hidden from you, Alastor's face was a mess of emotions. Every bone in his body screamed at his to leave, to vanish, to get away from the danger that physical contact might bring. His eyes flashed into radio dials, then back again. However, within only a few seconds, he relaxed into your touch, letting out a soft exhale.

You were enthralled with his ears and antlers, so much so that you brought your other hand up to the back of his head, unintentionally pulling him closer to you. Alastor stepped forward slightly, swallowed his pride, and trailed his hands up the sides of your thighs to your waist, while your fingers kept toying with his hair.

Alastor, head still lowered, shifted enough to where he could look up at you. Finally, finally you were able to stop looking at the top of his head (satiated for now), and stared deep into his crimson eyes. (Were his pupils more dilated than normal?)

Slowly, he stood up straight, eyes still fixated on you. Your hands fell from his ears to his hair, and then to his chest. You seemed even more aware of the counter behind you, especially as Alastor took another small step toward you, almost pressing into you, hands tightening on your waist.

"Thank you," you whispered, almost inaudibly, head reaching up slightly.

"Any time, mon cher," he whispered back, as his head lowered.

At that moment, Charlie burst into the kitchen. Immediately, you spun around to face the sink, while Alastor shadow-traveled a few yards away to the fridge. "Alright, you two! I hope you're ready for some group exercises!" she bubbled.

You cleared your throat, blushing (grateful that she didn't see the almost-kiss). "Of course, we'll be out in a minute!" you assured the princess.

"No, no, right now! Let's goooo!" she dragged you out of the kitchen.

Before you passed the now open doorway, you caught Alastor's eye.

He smiled at you.

You grinned.

"Any time, dear," he whispered once more as you disappeared. "Any time."

[xxsinisterbunniexx]

Running into Spider Webs - Ticci Toby x Female reader NSFW

Warnings: dubcon

Tags: partying, drinking, reader is a DUMB IDIOT, degradation, fingering, oral sex, face fucking, overstimulation, forced orgasm, squirting, German dirty talk, creampie

Words: 8.8k

Summary: After a heated argument with your roommate you find yourself alone at a playground in the middle of the night, trying your best to cool down. Your rage filled antics inadvertently capture the attention of Toby. Charmed by his ability to say whatever he thinks and intrigued by his mysteriousness, you find yourself going along with whatever he says. As the night goes on, you start to realize this strangely attractive boy may be more than you bargained for.

As always: ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ all canon will be flexible to make way for sexy ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

This is my last fic to crosspost from AO3 so my fics will undoubtedly come out at a slower rate from here on out :P

This was my first attempt at a more lore accurate Toby! I had to do a lot of research on his original characterization and his disorders but I’m satisfied with how it came out!

I was also greatly inspired by @annokan she makes really awesome art of Toby and she has an excellent characterization of him so I recommend checking out her blog :3

“FUCK YOU!” You screamed before slamming the door behind you. You raced down the steps of the porch and down onto the sidewalk. The cool summer night air felt good on your face, but it was doing nothing to cool your temper.

You were seething with rage, stomping down the street, not even sure where you were planning on going. All you could see was red. You only knew one thing.

I need to get the fuck away from her!

It was already dark outside. Normally, your common sense would’ve told you not to be walking around alone at night, but you were so livid you couldn’t think straight.

You trudged all the way to the playground at the end of the neighborhood. It was completely empty. No kids were playing at this time of night. They actually had some sense, unlike you.

You walked up to a bench and plopped down, angrily mumbling to yourself. “Fuck her… stupid fucking…. Ugh!”

You couldn’t sit down for long. You were still fuming. Your feet hit the pavement and you rose up, still stomping around and throwing your hands around angrily while mumbling. Unbeknownst to you, someone was watching you from the woods. He was rather intrigued by your behavior. What was a pretty girl like that doing out here alone?

You were still ranting on angrily, pacing around the playground. “I swear I’m gonna fucking kill her!” You half shrieked.

The words you had just uttered fully piqued his curiosity. Now he wanted to play with you.

You groaned again in frustration, pressing your head into one of the poles that supported the playground for dramatic effect. You closed your eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, almost feeling like you had gotten everything out of your system.

A hand on your shoulder jolted you out of your thoughts as you whipped around and shrieked.

A tall guy with messy brown hair looked slightly startled by your reaction. He was wearing a mask that covered half his face, but you were still able to see a good amount of it.

“Sorry.” He said half-heartedly, chuckling a little. “I just -fuck- I saw you out here acting crazy and wanted to see what you’re up to?” He jerked his head to the side in the middle of his sentence, correlated with the swear.

His answer seemed innocent enough, yet internally he was loving the scared little bunny look you got when he surprised you.

“Shit! Fuck… sorry you really scared me.” You let out a deep breath, feeling a bit relieved it wasn’t some scary murderer.

You looked him over a bit better now. From what you could see of his face, you could tell he was fairly attractive. He wore a hoodie and jeans, a pretty normal outfit except for the goggles on his head. You wondered what those were for.

“I caught you throwing your hands around and talking to yourself so I just wondered what the hell you were doing. Are you a crazy person?” He asked, rather bluntly.

“Oh my god…” The realization of how you probably looked from his perspective washed over you. “Fuck man, I’m sorry. I know it looks like I’m some type of crazy person. I swear I’m not. Truth is, I actually just got in a big argument with my roommate so I’m out here trying to cool my head but it’s not really working.”

“Oh, yeah? What -fuck- happened?” Once again he jerked his neck in tandem with the swear.

You paused for a second. Were you really just gonna air out all your business to a total stranger? Did it really matter though? You were still boiling with anger and very conveniently there is a guy here who is willing to listen to you.

“Well basically, she keeps having her boyfriend over like 24/7, and like I don’t mind him being there sometimes, but everyday? It’s just ridiculous. Like I don’t pay to live with a dude y’know?”

“Sounds to me like you got yourself another roommate.” He laughed to himself.

“Yeah, and it’s not one I wanted. It’s like I can’t walk around my apartment without feeling a little on edge cause there’s a man around. What if I wanted to walk around wearing tiny booty shorts? Well, can’t now.” You said with a huff, leaning against the pole.

He laughed at your booty shorts comment. “Why not just tell him to get the fuck out?” He sounded like he didn’t quite understand the issue.

“Well, I can’t do that.” You joked. “That would make her really mad.”

He looked like he still didn’t understand for a second. “So you’re out here having a spasm cause you didn’t want to make her mad?”

“A spasm?” You smirked a little. “I mean yeah I guess so.” You smiled a little more.

“That’s funny. You’re funny.” He laughed. “-fuck-"

You just eyed him for a moment, before gaining the courage to ask. “Do you mind if I ask what’s with the…?” You imitated the jerking motion he had just done.

His face went dark for just a split second, so quickly you almost thought you imagined it, then immediately went back to normal. “I have Tourette’s, actually.” He said a little awkwardly.

Your hand slapped over your mouth. “Oh my god. I’m so fucking sorry. That was super fucked up of me.” You apologized profusely.

He laughed a little at how panicked you got, you were so naïve. “A little bit, but I’m willing -cough- to overlook it cause you’re funny.”

“No, I’m super fucked up, I really am sorry. Damn.” You kept babbling like an idiot.

He laughed more, and you couldn’t help but think he was a little cute. He had a nice laugh too. You started to wonder what he looked like under that mask.

“It’s fine. People have said a lot worse.” His comment made it sound like it was no big deal, but it still made you wonder what people have said in the past.

“Well that’s super fucked up!” You blurted. “If people have said bad stuff about it I mean…” you continued. When he didn’t say anything you felt the need to keep going. “Cause like, you know, it’s not your fault and people shouldn’t judge you for that.”

The longer you kept talking the more stupid you felt, but it was like word vomit, you just couldn’t stop. He was enjoying watching you stumble over your words.

“You really are funny.” He said in a tone that almost sounded flirtatious. Almost. You were quite intriguing to him. He had the urge to mess with you more, to watch you squirm. He could attack you or chase you but… that wouldn’t be very fun... yet. Maybe later.

The wind blew, and you shivered a bit. It then dawned on you that although it was summer, it was still nighttime. Your crop top and shorts weren’t doing much to keep you warm. That’s what you get for being impulsive and running out of the house.

“Are you cold?” He asked, now sitting a little closer to you.

“Yeah, I just kinda ran out of the house in what I had on.” You laughed. “If you couldn’t tell, I don't think much.”

“Do you want to wear my hoodie?” He asked.

“What?! No, no! That’s yours. I wouldn’t take it and make you cold.”

“It’s okay, I can’t feel it.” He said casually, already taking off his hoodie.

You cocked your head to the side, a confused expression on your face. “What, you mean like the cold doesn’t bother you?”

“No, I can’t feel it.” He said again, as if it were a no brainer.

He already handed it to you before you could refuse it again, so you put it on. It was quite warm and smelled like the woods, a faintly pleasant smell. “That’s kind of funny actually, I figured you were just super chilly, since you have that mask on.”

“No, -fuck- that’s for a -fuck- different reason.” He ticked twice in one sentence, it seemed like you pointing out the mask might’ve put him on edge. He was jerking around a bit more too.

“Oh… I mean you don’t have to tell me why.” You stated adamantly, waving your hands in front of you, signaling it was no big deal.

“I have a scar on -fuck-” he coughed and jerked a bit more. “On my face. It -fuck- freaks some people out so I keep it hidden.”

“Oh. Well… you don’t have to hide it from me?” You said. “I won’t judge you if you take it off.”

He mumbled something to himself that you couldn’t quite hear and then slowly took it off. Under his mask was a large gash on his left cheek, it went all the way through his face, exposing his teeth. He also had two silver lip rings on either side of his mouth.

You took in his face with awe, your jaw slowly falling open a bit. The scar was something to behold for sure, but to you it only made him more interesting. It was like gazing at a work of art, terrifyingly beautiful.

“Woah… that’s… gnarly.” You said softly, as if to yourself. Then you realized what you said and slapped your hand over your mouth. “Shit! I mean, sorry, that was fucked up.”

His facial expression hadn’t changed but you kept going, the word vomit was back. “I meant gnarly as in like it’s really cool, not that it's gross or something! I think it’s awesome! Well wait… is that fucked up to say too? I feel like the way you got it probably wasn’t pleasant...” You rambled on.

He only watched you with a little amused expression, letting you dig your grave further cause he found it funny.

“Can I touch it?” You asked, already bringing your fingers up to lightly touch the edge of the scar. “Oops, I’m already touching it.” You continued verbalizing all your thoughts like the filter in your brain was broken.

Realizing your mistake, you instantly retracted your hand at lighting speed. “Did that hurt?!”

“Nope. I can’t feel pain either.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Hm?” You cocked your head again. “What do you mean you can’t feel pain?”

“I have CIPA. It has a longer name but I won’t say it cause it’s a mouthful and you won’t remember it anyways. But basically, I can’t feel pain. Oh and also, I can’t feel temperature, that’s why I’m not cold.”

“Oh! Well… still I’m sorry for touching it.” You looked at the ground, feeling a little embarrassed by your impulsive actions and words.

“You don’t want to touch me? Cause the scar is nasty?” He smiled.

Your face immediately became shocked. “No! That’s not it at all! I meant what I said when I said I think it’s cool.” You took a breath. “I… well I kinda think it makes you look like a work of art.” You said awkwardly, a slight blush on your cheeks.

He eyed you for a second before saying, “You’re kinda weird.” He was very blunt about it but was still smiling.

“What?” You cracked a smile. “You’re kinda weird.”

You found yourself drawn in by him. You wanted to know more about this strange man who seemed to pop up out of nowhere and fix your mood. He was so direct and honest, different from the majority of people. You found yourself feeling really relaxed around him somehow, even though you were majorly fucking up at every point in this conversation. Maybe it was because he was so blunt, it was like you didn’t have to wonder what he was thinking.

“Yeah, I know. But you’re weirder. Something’s seriously wrong with you.”

“For what? Just cause I think your scar is cool? You’re the weirdo here, you approached me out of nowhere when I was bugging out like a crazy person. What were you even doing out here anyways?”

“Oh.” He said like he just remembered. “Actually, I was on my way to a -cough- party.”

Your jaw dropped. “Oh my gosh! You should get going then! I don’t wanna keep you here if you have people waiting on you.”

“No, it’s not a party like that. It’s a big party. Besides, no one would be waiting on me.” He chuckled. Then his face lit up a bit, like he got an idea. “You should come with me.”

You were a bit thrown off by his offer. It was so sudden and you barely knew him.

But… you didn’t want to go home, you were still fuming from that argument. Plus, there was something so intriguing about him, so magnetic.

Was it a good idea? Probably not. You can’t trust someone you don’t know. Only an idiot would go with him. The situation was full of red flags. A logical person would’ve said no, however, it was a well known fact that above all else, you were impulsive, naïve, and a little dumb.

“Really? Okay, let’s go!” You said excitedly.

—

The party was a short walk away, but in that time you were able to uncover just a little more information on him, like his name. As you approached the house you realized Toby hadn’t lied, this was a big party. The yard was full of people, lining the porch, standing in little circles on the grass, and scattered around, and that was just outside.

You could hear the music from outside and see the lights flashing in the windows. A giddy feeling rose in your chest. This is exactly what you needed to get your mind off things.

You recognized a few people as the two of you strolled up to the door. You didn’t know who was throwing the party, but you figured it was someone who went to your university, since it was close to campus and some of your classmates were here.

As you approached the door Toby slid to the side and opened it for you.

“Oh my, how chivalrous.” You said dramatically.

“Giving you my jacket, open -fuck- opening the door for you, I think I may be in the running for gentleman of the year.” He said sarcastically, placing a dominant hand to your lower back to guide you inside.

His lack of respect for personal space didn’t seem to bother you, but you were a little surprised at how easily he could get close to you and touch you, considering you had only just met. Despite this, it still made you feel a little safer, almost like you were being protected. This party was full of people you didn’t know, so it was nice to have him guide you through the house.

The music was booming, so Toby leaned in close to your ear, “Do you want a drink?”

Although the gesture felt pretty necessary given the noise, you still felt a little tickle go down your spine when he did it. Your face blushed just a little bit. “Oh…! Uh… yeah! Let’s get some.” You answered as you both made your way to the kitchen.

The kitchen was full of alcohol. Bottles of all kinds of liquor decorated the counter. Your eyes ran over the choices a couple of times.

“Don’t know what to pick?” Toby asked.

“I’m just really indecisive.” You laughed.

“I’ll make you something.” He said and then started pouring you a drink, mixing a few liquors and some Sprite.

“You’re only making one?” You asked.

“I can’t -fuck- really drink since I -fuck- have to wear the mask.” He said a little nervously, which made you feel kinda stupid.

Duh, of course he wants to wear it here.

He turned and handed you the drink. Since you watched him make it, you figured it was safe enough to drink. You took a sip, coughing a little as the liquor burned your throat. “Fuck, that’s strong.” You coughed more and added a bit more Sprite to your cup to make it drinkable.

He laughed at you. “Didn’t know you couldn’t hold your -fuck- liquor.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” You gave him a playfully skeptical look.

“Of course. How else could I get you to hang around me?” He said sarcastically and guided you into the living room.

You both sat down on the couch and once again you took notice of how close he sat to you. You were intently trying to decipher whether or not he was into you, but you were always kind of bad at being able to tell.

His eyes continuously scanned the room, like he was looking for something, or rather, someone.

“Are you looking for a friend?” You asked.

He looked a little thrown off by your question, defensive almost?

Odd…

He cleared his throat and then answered, “No, just scoping out the room.”

A little burst of excitement hit you, that drink was already kicking in. “Ooo~ do you wanna walk the floor?” You asked.

“What’s that?”

“It’s like you walk around a party just to see if there’s anyone you know here and to get a feel for everyone. You wanna do it?” You smiled.

“You bet.” He grabbed you and pulled you up with him.

You linked elbows with him. “Okay, let’s go!” You were giddy with excitement.

You felt a little stupid about it since it hadn’t been that long, but it seemed like you were already developing a bit of a crush on him. Being this close to him made your heart race. Your chest felt warm and at this point you couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or Toby.

You strutted around the house with Toby in tow, your eyes wandering over all the people.

You bumped into someone with a little “oof.” You looked up to see Cassie, a good friend of yours who was in a lot of your classes.

“Hey!!!” She immediately exclaimed, the intoxication apparent.

“Omg hiiii!!!” You had already drank about three fourths of your cup and it was starting to show.

“Who’s this?” She said with a little giggle, her eyes flitting up to Toby and then back to you.

“Oh! His name’s Toby!” You grabbed his arm and pulled him closer to you. “We met like an hour ago at a playground.”

“I caught her acting like a maniac.” He added.

“Okay, so your usual?” Cassie laughed.

With your attention directed at Cassie, you missed the way Toby’s attention was caught as someone passed through the room. He leaned in close to you, his voice now serious. “I’ll be right back.”

You failed to notice his change in tone, too distracted by everything going on around you. “Okay, don’t get lost.” You giggled again.

“Hey.” Cassie grabbed your hand. “We were just about to play Just Dance, you wanna join?”

Drunk Just Dance? There was nothing that could’ve peaked your interest more.

“I’m in!”

—

Song after song later, you hadn’t even realized how much time had passed. You were starting to sober up, but you were still well into the tipsy stage.

You looked at the time. “Fuck.”

I forgot about Toby!

You felt like a massive idiot. He had said he was going to be right back and then you had walked away from where he left you. You were really starting to like him and now he probably thought you had just blown him off. Was he even still at the party?

You wandered around trying to scope out if he was still around. It was a bit easier now since less people were at the party. You were starting to panic a bit, the feeling of anxiety aching in your chest now. You felt like you really fucked up.

Next thing you knew, you had bumped into him.

He instantly leaned down, getting close to your face, his voice sounding a little sultry. “Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”

“Toby!” You sounded relieved and excited, it seemed like he wasn’t mad at you at all, keeping the same playfulness he had earlier.

“So, where have you been?” His voice sounded slightly flirtatious.

“Playing Just Dance!” You said goofily. Your eyes trailed down to his shirt, which now had a small stain on it near the bottom. It was hard to tell since it was still dark in the house, but it almost looked like blood. “What’s that?” You pointed to it.

“Oh. I ended up helping -cough- my buddy who got a really bad nosebleed.” He said nonchalantly, then immediately changed the subject. “Let’s leave.” He said, grabbing your arm before you had a chance to respond.

You looked around, the party was dying down anyways. You still didn’t want to go back home to face your roommate, but it seemed like you didn’t really have another option.

Just before you were about to walk out the door together you felt a tug on your arm. It was a friend of yours, one you didn’t know too well but you’d seen her around during classes and at parties. Amber… was her name? Maybe? She pulled you a little closer and then attempted to whisper but it seemed this girl was a little tipsy herself so it wasn’t that quiet. “Hey… are you good?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, also failing to whisper.

“Y’know.” Her eyes darted to Toby standing behind you and then back to yours. “I’ve never seen you with him before.”

“Oh thattt.” You let out a tipsy giggle. “Nah, nah. I’m fine. I know him.”

“And you wanna go with him…?” She eyed him warily again and then looked back at you.

“Like haha shhhhhh.” You giggled, trying to be more secretive about your little crush. “Yes, I wanna go with him. Don’t worry.”

Given your abhorrent attempt at whispering, Toby was following this whole conversation. Neither of you could see due to the lack of lighting in the room, but he got the absolute worst wolfish grin on his face when he heard you say that.

He’d successfully trapped you.

—

You felt like you were really winding down once you guys got outside. The slight chill of the wind and the lack of music in your ears made you feel a lot more placid, almost sleepy.

Toby noticed your change in mood. “Tired?”

“Mm.” You hummed in agreement. “But I don’t wanna go home. I don’t wanna see that bitch yet.” You realized the way your statement sounded belatedly, after it had already left your mouth.

Well now it sounds like you want to go home with him!

Truth be told, you weren’t opposed to doing so, but it wasn’t your intention to be so forward. “Wait- I mean-"

“Are you saying you want to come home with me?” You could tell he was smirking underneath his mask.

“I wasn’t trying to- I mean I wouldn’t mind but- well- what I’m trying to say is-" The way you stumbled over your words felt like you were falling down a hill, catching on branches and rocks the whole way down.

“No, I understand.” He giggled a little. “We’ll have to sneak, though.” He didn’t hesitate to pick you up bridal style, which felt so sudden to you that your whole face went red. He held you like you were weightless and it dawned on you that he was a lot stronger than he looked.

“You don’t have to carry me! And what do you mean sneak?”

“I’ve got some… uh… roommates. They -fuck- would definitely try to eat a pretty girl like you up.” He chuckled a little darkly. “Your face is very red.”

“Because you picked me up out of nowhere!” You exclaimed.

“You’re kind of perverted, you know that?” He was grinning under his mask.

“I’m not!”

“I bet your head’s just full of dirty thoughts.” He giggled.

“I’m not thinking anything like that!” You almost whined, trying to defend yourself.

He only giggled in response, continuing to tease you.

—

After a long walk in his arms you came upon a huge mansion in the middle of the woods. It looked quite old, but not rundown. No, it was very well kept, looking almost… unnatural.

Just who is this guy?!

It wasn’t at all what you were expecting. What guy his age could afford to live in a house like that, even with roommates? On the other hand, it was out in the middle of the woods, far from the rest of town. Maybe someone had died here and it was haunted so him and a few buddies were able to buy it for super cheap? No, but still, a house like this was insane.

“This is where you live?”

“Why else would I bring you here?” He acted like it wasn’t weird at all. “Now shhh, we’re gonna have to get past my roommates.” The last word came out like it wasn’t very natural for him to say. He set you down on your feet. You were glad you were feeling a lot more sober now, otherwise something like this would be a real challenge.

The door creaked slightly as he slowly pushed it open. You followed behind him.

The mansion was even more shocking on the inside. The whole place had a very gothic feel. The ceilings were high, the lighting was dark, and the detailing was so intricate. It was stunningly beautiful, but something about the place sent a chill down your spine. Maybe it really was haunted or maybe someone really did die here. You couldn’t quite place why you felt on edge.

Something just felt off.

He held your hand and pulled you along, guiding you through the house which felt like a maze. You heard distant voices and figured those were the roommates you weren’t supposed to meet. Even though a situation like this was seemingly low stakes you felt overly anxious. You were deathly afraid of getting caught, as if you were hiding from a serial killer or something.

He brought you to a door you assumed led to his room and ushered you in. Upon entering you looked around. It was pretty messy but not in a dirty, rotting food kind of way, more of an organized chaos kind of way. There were clothes strewn about the floor and different pieces of paper and sticky notes with scratchy handwriting on them lined the walls, organized in no particular way. A lot of them had a symbol that you didn’t recognize. It looked like a circle with an X through it. There was a bookshelf that was filled with anything but books. It had lots of old CDs and DVDs, along with random trinkets. There were so many things to look at your eyes were darting around like ping pong balls.

You didn’t have long to take in the room before you were slammed against the door, Toby’s lips on yours. A warm feeling grew in your chest as you returned the kiss. One of his hands slid down to your waist as the other tangled in your hair. He bit your bottom lip a little bit, signaling you to open your mouth for him.

Your hands gripped at the front of his shirt as you obliged. He slid his tongue into your mouth and you felt a jolt of electricity travel down your body to your core. The kiss was intense. You barely felt like you could keep up, like you were drowning in him.

Your heart was racing, your whole body became pleasantly warm, excitement rushing through you. His borderline ferocity made you feel incredibly desirable. He wedged his leg between your thighs and you became very aware of his need for you, feeling his erection press against your stomach.

His lips found your neck, trailing warm open mouth kisses down it. You shivered, arching into his touch. You unconsciously began to move your hips against his leg, craving more friction. He made a noise that sounded almost like a growl and hooked his hands under your thighs, picking you up effortlessly.

He moved over to the bed and sat down, helping you straddle his waist. He kissed your neck again as soft moans escaped your lips. He bit down without warning, causing you to squeak a little both from the surprise and the pain. He sucked hard over the skin he had just bitten. Your moans got a little louder as he left a dark purple hickey on your neck.

He pulled away just enough to look at it, his breath still hot on your neck. “You’re marked.” He chuckled huskily. “How pretty.” He gently ran his fingers over it, causing you to shiver again.

He mumbled something amusedly that sounded like “pathetic.” But you couldn’t quite hear it.

He moved to the other side of your neck, intent on making more marks while his hand slipped under your shirt, squeezing your chest through your bra. His movements were a bit twitchy, but it didn’t bother you.

He was buzzing with excitement, elated to be touching you in such a way. He started to pull up your shirt and you raised your arms, helping him take it off.

You could tell he was holding back a bit, trying to take his time with you. You were starting to feel a little impatient as well, so you decided to grind yourself in his lap, feeling his erection pressing against your aching core.

You bit your lip when you heard him groan. He moved to unhook your bra, awkwardly fumbling with the clasp for a moment before he got it. He took one of your nipples into his mouth and you wrapped your arms around his neck, encouraging him to continue.

His free hand snaked down your stomach to your waistband, the light touch feeling ticklish before he dipped his fingers into your shorts and into your panties.

He sighed when he felt how dripping wet you were. “Lift your hips for me.”

Your face got red but you did as he asked, lifting up so he could pull off your shorts and your panties. You settled back into his lap as he continued to coat his fingers in your arousal. You felt so exposed, especially considering the position he had you in and the fact that he was still fully clothed.

“Spread your legs for me a little more, pretty girl.” He looked overwhelmingly pleased as you once again did as he asked. He ran his fingers over your clit, applying gentle pressure and teasing your entrance occasionally. You bucked your hips involuntarily as he did. “So needy.” He sneered.

He continued to tease you for a little, loving the way you squirmed and tried not to moan. Without warning he dipped his finger into you. You gripped his shoulders hoping to ground yourself a bit.

“Fuck…!” You breathed out.

He curled his finger inward, pressing against your g-spot. You squeezed his shoulders harder, your head tipped backward and your eyes fluttered shut. He was absolutely entranced watching your reactions. He wanted to see more of you, to see how far he could push you.

He slipped a second finger in and used his other hand to hold you still, his fingers gripping your hip with a bruising force.

“You like this a lot, don’t you?” He whispered in your ear. “You’re squeezing my fingers so tightly. I can’t wait to put my cock in you.” He brought his thumb up to rub your clit in circles.

You inhaled sharply, both from his words and the overwhelming stimulation. You felt yourself squeeze his fingers even more. Your arousal was dripping down your thighs and surely all over his hand too. You couldn’t help but feel just the tiniest bit embarrassed about how worked up you were getting.

Your moans started to increase in frequency, getting higher and breather as you felt your orgasm start to build deep in your stomach.

“It feels good, doesn’t it? Tell me how good it feels.” He continued to whisper in your ear, his grip on your hip somehow getting tighter.

You continued to whimper, not wanting to verbalize exactly how he was making you feel.

“You better tell me or I’ll stop right now.”

An extra pathetic sounding whimper escaped you before you spoke, “So good… s-so fucking good, Toby…” You slurred. You were getting so close, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“That’s it. What a good girl. You wanna come for me, pretty girl?” His voice sounded breathier now too.

“Toby…! I-I can’t…!” You leaned into his shoulder, your whimpers and moans muffled.

“Fuck.” He breathed as he felt your walls convulse around his fingers. He kept moving his fingers but slower, helping draw out your orgasm.

You shuddered in his lap, trying to regain your ability to think after how hard you just came. It seemed you wouldn’t be getting that luxury though, as Toby immediately gripped under your thighs again, pulling you up so he could roll over on top of you. In seconds he was down by your still throbbing heat.

“Wai-”

“You’re really sensitive.” He breathed over your clit. “I want to make you come more.” He looked almost feral, completely drunk on lust. It was like he wasn’t going to be able to hear anything you were saying.

He pushed your thighs apart, once again using such a force that would undoubtedly leave bruises. You wondered if maybe he didn’t realize how strongly he was gripping you since he couldn’t feel pain.

He sucked your clit into his mouth, sucking it at a rhythm that had you arching off the bed and gripping onto his hair for dear life. He only chuckled darkly and then lapped over your clit a few more times before dipping lower to tease your entrance.

You were still so sensitive from the last time you came, it only took seconds before you felt another orgasm building. He was back at your clit, licking it and sucking it so sloppily that a mix of your wetness and his spit was making a puddle on the bed under you.

Tears formed in the corners of your eyes as the mind numbing pleasure took over your body. “Toby….!” You squeaked out. There were a few full moments that your head went fully blank before you came down, panting from how hard you just came.

Toby climbed back up your body, hovering over you with his hands placed on either side of your head. He stared down at you, a glint in his eyes that seemed almost obsessive, like he was completely amazed by you. “You’re perfect.”

Your whole face flushed, even after what you guys had just done, words like those shot an arrow through your heart.

He leaned down and captured your lips again; you could taste yourself on his tongue. His body pressed close to yours as one of his hands snaked down to clasp yours, pulling it up by your head. Your chest felt warm and giddy. You secretly hoped this wouldn’t be just a one time hookup because you were starting to really like him.

He pulled away from your lips and pressed kisses down your jaw again, making it down to your neck, nuzzling it a bit while you giggled. This was almost too perfect.

A blood curdling scream shocked you out of your lovesick daze. You jolted up while Toby stayed put, still lightly kissing and sucking your neck.

“Toby, what was that…?!” Your voice trembled as you spoke.

“It’s probably just one of my roommates.” He mumbled nonchalantly into your neck.

“But-" You were cut off by more screams, one of which vaguely sounded like a cry for help.

“Toby…!” You exclaimed. “What the hell is going on out there?!”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Something was very, very wrong here. You were out at this creepy old mansion in the middle of the woods. You instantly got murder vibes when you got here. Toby had blood on his shirt earlier. Now you’re hearing someone scream bloody murder and Toby is completely unconcerned.

You took a deep breath before pushing Toby up gently so you could look him in the eyes. “Toby, can I ask you a question and will you answer me honestly?”

He sat up fully, looking like he knew what was about to happen.

You sat up as well, still clutching his hand. “Toby, are you a murderer? Is this some kind of murder house?”

He got a lazy grin on his face. “I had a feeling you were gonna ask me that.”

“Toby…” you said his name again, desperately needing an answer to your question.

“Yeah, I murder people sometimes.” He admitted, jerking his head a few times.

Great. Just great. You really liked this guy and he just had to be a murderer. You didn’t know what to think. Maybe it was the shock. You couldn’t have been thinking straight because the next thing you asked was, “Were the people you killed… were they at least bad people?”

“Everyone is sort of a bad person when you really think about it. No one is truly good, even you.” He smirked, lifting your chin. “Besides, I don’t really -fuck- choose who I kill. I just kill whoever Slenderman tells me to kill.” More twitching.

“Slenderman…?” You asked, dumbfounded.

“He’s like an evil entity thing that’s been alive for thousands of years. He makes people his proxy to kill for him. It’s a lot to explain but he’s like my boss.” He said, like it was the most casual thing ever.

Right, just drop that like it’s nothing I guess!

“He’s your boss? Why… how did you start working for him?”

“Oh yeah.” He pulled off his shirt, revealing his somewhat muscular frame, littered with scars. Something clunked to the ground, and you looked down to see a bloodstained hatchet. Prying your eyes away from the weapon and back to him, your eyes ran over him. What really stuck out was the mark on his chest, just below his right collarbone. It looked like a tattoo, but somehow different, like it wasn’t human made. It was a circle with an X through it. The same symbol on the walls. “Slenderman just kind of chose me and then -fuck- I became a proxy. I d- -cough- don’t really remember.”

“Toby.” Your voice cracked as you said his name. You felt like you were about to cry. What the fuck was going on here? What could you do? You needed to help him. Toby seemed like such a sweet person, so how did he get caught up in all of this?

You grabbed both of his hands, holding them tightly as you met his eyes. “Listen, I don’t know what exactly is going on here, but you don’t have to do this, you know? I don’t know how but… I can help you. We can get you out of this-"

“Are you pitying me?” Toby cocked his head to the side, a demented grin on his face. “I’m not some sick child. I don’t need your help.” His voice was now depraved.

He smiled even wider when he saw your almost wounded expression, he reached out to lift your chin. “But don’t worry. I still like you a lot.” This time his smile was more reassuring. It sent another pang through your heart.

You should be screaming. You should already be up and running away from him. So why did you lack the urge to? It was almost like you didn’t believe it, even though the evidence was all there. He had even blatantly admitted it and yet your brain couldn’t make sense of the incongruity of the boy you had spent time with the whole night and the alleged murderer in front of you.

Before you could unscramble your thoughts he had closed the gap between your lips, his hands all over your skin again. It became hard to think of anything but him, the warmth of his hands running across your skin, the scent of his skin so close to yours.

How many people had died by the hands that were now touching all over your body?

His tongue slipped into your mouth again and once again you felt like you were drowning in him, except this time it was worse. This time you knew you wouldn’t be coming up for air. You didn’t want to.

You heard the sound of his belt unbuckling and you were reminded of how hard your clit was throbbing. You wanted this so badly, despite everything. It was like you were spellbound.

You reached your hand out to grip his cock, wrapping your hand around it and giving it a few pumps before he pulled you off the bed and brought you to your knees. His thumb ran across your bottom lip before he pressed down, opening your mouth with no resistance from you. He smirked, “So obedient.”

You didn’t hesitate to take his cock in your mouth, slowly taking him in as deep as you could before starting to bob your head slowly.

“Fuckkkk.” He breathed out, gripping your hair in his hand, starting to guide your head.

You moaned around his cock as he started to get rougher, taking control of the pace entirely.

“Du fühlst dich so gut an, mein Mädchen.” He groaned in a low voice.

The fuck….? German?

You were a bit blown away by the sudden language change, especially since you couldn’t understand a word of it. It sounded like German but then again you weren’t entirely sure.

He chuckled darkly at your confusion and started thrusting harder into your mouth. You choked on his cock, tears brimming in the corners of your eyes as his cock went deep into your throat. At this point he was fucking your face, you had no control whatsoever.

“Tut das weh?” He said in a taunting voice. You could tell he was mocking your pain, even if you had no idea what he said. For some reason that made you even wetter, you could feel the way your arousal dripped down your thighs once again.

There is definitely something wrong with me, clinically.

He continued to taunt you in a language you couldn’t understand, his pace unrelenting. “Du liebst es, wenn ich dich quäle, nicht wahr?” You could tell he was getting close as his voice was getting breathier.

You hoped he would finish soon, you could barely take the pace anymore. Your throat burned each time he brutally thrusted his cock into it, even if you were secretly enjoying the way he was humiliating you.

His pace became less rhythmic as he desperately rutted his hips into your mouth, gripping your hair harshly. “Du fühlst dich so gut an.” He groaned out.

After a few more deep thrusts into your mouth, he came down your throat. He pulled out of your mouth, lifting your chin since you could barely hold your head up after that. “Was für ein gutes Mädchen.” He said affectionately.

“What…?” You asked, exhausted and out of breath and sick of hearing shit in a language you can’t understand.

He pulled you back up onto the bed, once again like you were weightless. He nuzzled into your neck again, showering you with kisses. “You did good.”

The way he switched from brutally fucking your throat to giving you ticklish kisses on your neck was giving you whiplash.

His hand snaked down between your legs and he sighed when he felt how wet you were. “You get that wet from having me come down your throat? What a slut.” He chuckled, amazed by it.

A small gasp of shock escaped you, baffled by what he had just said.

“What, you’re embarrassed?” He laughed as he slipped his fingers into you easily. He desperately wanted to watch you come again, he was entranced by the reaction he saw earlier. He needed to see it again.

He immediately found your g-spot and hooked his fingers inwards, making you see stars as moans slipped past your lips. “Wait, Toby- slow down-” Your orgasm was already building at a ferocious pace as he slammed into your g-spot over and over with his fingers.

“Go slower?” He asked, still laughing a little, a smile on his face that held no malice despite his actions. “No way. I want you to come around my fingers.”

He was pumping his fingers in and out of you, making sloppy wet noises fill the room alongside your moans. He hooked his fingers in deep, making sure to press against your g-spot each time as his palm applied pressure to your clit.

You felt a pressure building deep in you, building uncontrollably. Each time he slammed against your g-spot you felt it build more and more. It felt like something would release, and you held it as long as you could until it felt so good you just didn’t care anymore. Your body shook lightly as you came, a gushing heat releasing from you.

He kept his fingers going, prolonging your orgasm. “Mm… that’s it, pretty girl. Let it all out.”

You panted hard, struggling to regain your ability to think after coming that hard.

Did I just squirt…?!

You were absolutely mortified, “I- I didn’t mean to do that! I’m sorry-”

He hugged your body close to him, burying his face in your shoulder. “I knew you were perfect. I can’t wait to keep you here with me.” His words were muffled but still clear enough for you to hear what he said.

You were glad he couldn’t see your face as it fell. “Wait a second, Toby.” Your voice trembled as you pushed up so you could sit up. “What do you mean keep me here?”

He pulled back to look at your face, loving the way it had twisted in fear. He lifted your chin to meet his eyes again. “I like you. I wanna keep you here with me. You can’t leave.”

“What…? You can’t be serious.” You said in disbelief.

“I just told you I murder people. Did you really think you could leave?” He asked like you were stupid. “God, it’s a good thing you’re pretty.”

The shock washed over you. There wasn’t a hint of humor in his tone. He was clearly one hundred percent serious.

This is all my fault. How could I have been so stupid, just going along with him even after I knew what he was capable of?

You felt something wet drop down on your leg.

Oh, I’m crying.

Watching you start to cry only made Toby more excited. “Haha, why are you crying? -fuck- It could be a lot worse. I could’ve just -fuck- killed you immediately. It would have been easy.” He twitched a few times, correlated with the swears.

“Toby… You can’t keep me here! People will be looking for me!”

He had an unconcerned expression. “Eh, they’ll forget about you soon enough.”

You gasped again in shock, unable to say anything in return. Toby just twitched to the side and started muttering to himself. You recalled the bloodstained hatchet you watched fall to the ground earlier. That’s right. You were completely stuck. If you tried to do anything he could kill you so easily.

His hands came up to softly cup your face, seemingly having turned his attention back to you, wiping away the tears. “Now come on, don’t be li- -fuck- like that.” He pushed you back onto the bed and started aligning his cock at your entrance.

You weren’t sure if the fear somehow confused your body into becoming aroused or if you seriously just had a mental disorder, but your cunt ached with need for him. You could barely contain how bad you needed this when he rubbed the tip of his throbbing cock against your clit. You let out another needy moan.

He chuckled huskily and mumbled under his breath. “Du bist eine kleine, gierige Schlampe, nicht wahr?”

You had no idea what the fuck he said. It didn’t even matter, you needed him so badly. This was wrong. So wrong.

You could no longer care about morals as he slowly pushed his cock into you, feeling the way you stretched around him inch by inch, until you took him in fully. He let out a low groan as you shakily exhaled.

He began thrusting a little faster than you would’ve liked starting out. You tried to hold back your voice, but little whines and whimpers still came out of you.

“Don’t tell me those pathetic whimpers are all you’ve got? C’mon you can do better.” One of his hands came up to clasp yours as he started slamming into you at a vicious pace. You could no longer contain your voice, you were a whining, moaning mess.

You couldn’t decide between asking him to slow down or begging him to keep going. He gripped your face, capturing your lips again, sloppily kissing you as he pumped his cock into you. Blissful pleasure took over your mind. He pulled away from the kiss, a line of spit still connecting your mouths. Your mind was fuzzy and your unfocused eyes lifted to meet his, eliciting a low growl from him.

“You love taking my cock, don’t you?” He was still gripping your face, forcing you to maintain eye contact.

You nodded as high pitched whiny moans escaped you.

“You don’t even care that I’m a murderer. You’re really fucking sick aren’t you?” A wicked grin on his face.

Guilt washed over you as you heard his words. “No…!” Your voice came out weaker than you wanted it to. “I’m not!”

“Yeah you are.” His tone was venomous. “You’re a sick little thing.”

He was right. You had no rebuttal to that. All you could say was, “You’re the one who’s sick…!”

“Maybe. But so are you. You’re feeling so good right now because of a sick murderer’s cock now aren’t you? You want to stay here with me don’t you?”

“I don’t…!”

“How about this?” He leaned real close, whispering in your ear. “If you come you have to stay here with me forever.” He hooked his arms under your knees, pushing them up closer to your chest so he could go deeper.

There was no way he just said that. That wasn’t fair. There was no way you’d be able to hold back.

He picked up the pace again, thrusting into you at a pace that was making your mind go fuzzy. You already felt the orgasm building and he just kept ramming into that damn spot over and over.

“Not there…!” You pleaded.

“Oh, right there?” He responded by driving into it even harder.

You got closer and closer to the edge, trying your hardest to keep yourself from coming. He noticed the way your body tensed. The way your moans became whinier and higher pitched.

“You want to come don’t you? You really want to come.” He taunted you.

“Don’t-” It was too late. The tightly wound coil had snapped. You let out choked moans as you came.

He slowed to a stop, just so he could feel the way you clenched around his cock. He shuddered, “Your cunt is milking my cock.” He suddenly resumed his quick pace causing you to let out a startled gasp. “Fuckkkkk, I can’t stop.”

“Toby…!” You whined, gripping his arms.

He let out another low groan. “Du fühlst dich so gut an, mein Mädchen. Du wirst so schwach für mich.” His voice was gravelly.

He kept thrusting as deeply as he could into you, starting to lose the pace, just slamming into you like his life depended on it. “Du gehörst mir.” He breathed out.

His groans became breathier and breathier, almost becoming whines. “Fuck, I’m gonna fill you with my cum.” He leaned down and bit your neck hard, eliciting a sharp wince from you as you felt his hot cum flood your pussy.

Your mind had gone fully blank, it felt like TV static. Just like before, you felt drawn to him, like a magnet.

He gripped your face again, loving the way your face was flushed, your lips were glossy and slightly swollen, and your eyes were dazed. “You’re all fucked out now aren’t you?” He ran his thumb over your bottom lip. “So pretty.” He sighed before kissing you again, this time softly, sweetly.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, matching his soft kiss. If you had run into the spiderweb full speed, you might as well enjoy being caught in the web.

He pulled away to hug you close, burying his face in your neck.

“I knew you’d want to stay.”

Now I gotta admit that I used google translate for the German parts so if there are any German speakers reading this I’m sorry man.

I'm always open for feedback and constructive criticism so please feel free to leave me every thought in your head

I hope u guys enjoyed ~\(≧▽≦)/~

~pls remember to distinguish fiction from reality

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

I will be the one to say it, wherever we like this side conclusion or not, she dug this pit herself and Iskall provided the shovel

I've heard speculations of their relationship being a much closer than it appears online, and her deleting her channel to hide any trace of her involvement or his involvement while still keeping the comment on Iskall's channel is the nail in the coffin

The only thing that she has on her Channel right now is 36 comments that the majority tie back to Iskall in some way.

And additionally, I'd personally say it's come to a point of devotion and compassion for each other rather than what a normal "relationship" should be

And I want you all to keep in mind that if Stress isn't Iskall's "long-term girlfriend", then there is a woman out there who found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her with multiple of his employees and also possibly including his female best friend because of the amount of devotion they have to each other

But if Stress is the "long-term girlfriend", then this was a clear act of both devotion or she's been hit with trains worth of clarity and realization but I doubt this is the case because the comment is still up

And there was no single threat in her replies

YouTube's AI detection system will automatically delete replies with a threatening nature of that go against community guidelines before the person sees the reply.

Meaning that at the most cleverly worded insults have slipped through the hundreds of common worth of "You're so goated" and "Miss you too" and "We support you too" (update to make sure this was accurate I just checked it this than two minutes before this post and it is indeed compliments)

90% of her replies a positivity. And a couple months ago I even gave her the benefit of the doubt and said not to speculate on her situation because we didn't know any better. Aka even people who were skeptical like me and many others treats it her with integrity and dignity open till that reply was posted

I cannot speak on whether or not Iskall has gotten the threats he claims, but I always encouraged to not leave death threats, so I would imagine that it's a handful of people who do not have a life

But I could say with Confidence that if she got more than 8 threats, which is still not good but is a less considering the circumstances and general uncontrollable public, I would be mind-blown

So I'm very confident in the notion that she did this out of either realization to which I hope it is, and I hope for her community she seeks professional help because that level of devotion is unhealthy makes a steady bouncy back after some time OR it's another act of devotion

Because if he's in a legal case regarding this issue it is commonly advised to remove any incriminating evidence from social media so that it cannot be used against you; and it would be easy to argue their relationship based purely on her videos. Making the deletion of her channel an act of devotion rather than general clarity hitting her

Which is sad. I've never personally watched Many of Her videos only 30 at the most, but the general consensus of disappointment rather than anger putting her Direction leads me to conclude this is out of character behavior for her. And this would reinforce Iskall's repeated manipulation attempts.

It would mean his manipulation is effective and working.

The only possible way I could ever see people generally being outraged at her is if she was in on it too but that has already been confirmed by many of the victims they were unaware that she was also leaving, and were unaware of her general support.

This or will you find out that she's financially contributing to his legal case, to which I would argue the money would be better spent on therapy

But it just seems that she's digging herself into a pit or into a self destructive montage of being in support of someone who does not deserve it

[velnna]

anon who got surgery here who said absint and your art in general was keeping them sane! unfortunately i badly broke my spine a few days ago and had to have ANOTHER major surgery... and recovery is SO boring.

AND YET, ONCE AGAIN your art and your characters are keeping me sane!!!

especially absint, he just looks soooo soft i want to comb his hair/fur and stroke him gently and give him kisses on the forehead and hold him so close and keep him warm...

the thing about his wing stumps vibrating when hes excited is SO SO SO CUTE and i love his four eyes and the fact that hes color blind...

and also im curious if he purrs?? i know some elves do in your setting, perhaps the moth man does too?? hehe

AND his skin/fluff texture sounds so wonderful and i love his looks and that one yawn pic you drew of him...

and also im curious about his diet, based on the yawning pic?? hes got those sharp teeth but hes also got that tongue like some bugs do that can slurp things up... whats his favorite food??

and also i think absint may enjoy a stim toy of mine: glitter jar!!!! its so soothing to shake up and watch the bright sparkles float around and swirl... mayhaps ill draw him with a glitter jar sometime when im recovered enough...

and last questions for now... i see hes down one arm, did he lose it or was it a birth difference?? and does he have any health conditions because of it and/or in general???

ALSOOOOO if you have any absint art that isnt spoilers and youd like to share btw, i am SO down to see, i love looking at the guy of all time... i also think he would look very cute all bundled up in a BIG baggy knit sweater, hes very skinny he needs to get warm...

but he would also absolutely SLAY in a corset... decisions, decisions...

BUT YEAH thank you for making your guys i enjoy them a normal amount hahahaha thank you for sharing your lovely art with the world!!!! and have a wonderful day :}

Ah that sucks I hope your recovery is going well!! Once again happy my characters provide some entertainment haha

Absint doesn't purr, that's reserved for some elf people sadly. He does chitter tho! Sometimes they're happy chitters (:

Diet-wise, it's,,,, a Special type of diet. I'll just say by default the sharp teeth are meant to puncture but also the mix of tongue + teeth can work similarly to a snake and he can indeed swallow a small animal whole if he must. Strong gastric acid and a relatively flexible body shape.

I think he'd definitely enjoy a glitter jar that's such a cute idea c:

Sadly no current Absint art that isn't public, a spoiler or a patreon exclusive but I'm definitely itching to give him a big knit sweater now so stay tuned

Thank YOU for appreciating my guys it means a lot <33

[rjalker]

from the replies:

mercifulmother Dec 1, 2024

The amount of white man blinking gif I'm doing at that person right now. I am so TIRED of those popular romance tropes. Like I get it, it's fake and a fantasy, but I want some variety so I can read what I want too, you know? I really desperately wish I could find more stories with the main romances actually caring for and respecting each other. Sigh. Just gotta write the hyper-specific stuff I want myself I guess!

novella-november Dec 1, 2024

Yeah, like. Just because werewolf fiction has a common trope of women being treated like crap, don't get to transform at all, or if they can transform, doing so will cause miscarriages during pregnancy and they commonly get abused by the men in their life and this is seen as the 'correct' and Normal Thing in werewolf fiction………

………. doesn't mean that's a trope we should continue or endlessly praise this trope.

*standing in doorway looking over my shoulder: "sometimes, popular tropes… are bad"

mercifulmother Dec 1, 2024

[claps] Yes, this, thank you. Its so utterly ridiculous and doesn't even make any sense? Like. It's magic. It's literally magic and FAKE and people can, in fact, make up whatever new werewolf rules they want that are not… This hot mess nonsense. I can't even read werewolf romances anymore because it's always like this and I hate it. I don't see how that's supposed to be interesting or romantic in the slightest. I can literally just watch true crime if that's what I'm after. There are so many other interpretations out there that are sitting around just… Untouched. And for that matter, I'm so tired of abuser-to-still-abuser wearing the enemies-to-lovers trench coat. Why does the one enemy always have to be extremely controlling, cruel, violent, and utterly unapologetic with no attempts to even admit to their wrongdoings (which at that point shouldn't be forgiven regardless). Whatever happened to enemies who deeply respected each other's abilities and are obsessed with each other instead because nobody else can understand them? Or enemies who hate being on the opposite side and are desperately trying to 'save' each other because the respect and care go that deep? Like. Literally anything other than aggressively trying to oppress and abuse and subjugate the other (and it's ALWAYS a man doing this to a woman like haha funny how that works except it's not funny).

Making a much longer post short:

If you are writing a Romance, especially one you want your readers to root for, please make sure you take the time to include lots of little scenes that show that:

your characters actually are *friends* as well as lovers,

they enjoy spending time with each other on a casual basis

they respect as well as love each other

they try to communicate their feelings clearly instead of bottling their ire up til it explodes in violent arguments

neither of your characters are genuinely afraid of the other when they're angry

that they do not threaten each other with bodily harm during arguments, or use physical force

they respect each other's consent, and respect their partner's wants and wishes when it comes to physical affection.

pretty much to sum it up: do your characters actually enjoy being with each other, or is the entire relationship built on lust and dramatic arguments and nothing else?

Because if your relationship is the latter, your readers are more likely to want them to *break up* rather than *stay together*.

[kisssukuna33]

𝙅𝙅𝙆 𝙈𝙀𝙉 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙃𝙊𝙒 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙔 𝘾𝙀𝙇𝙀𝘽𝙍𝘼𝙏𝙀 𝙑𝘼𝙇𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙀!!

Satoru Gojo

-Gives the most expensive gifts-

Satoru is the type to go all out for special occasions. So obviously he's no less in his game when it comes to valentine either. He's the type to give everyone he knows well valentine gifts including his partner, colleagues and even the students but he knows better to prioritize his partner above everyone else. He would be the type to keep track on your wishlist so he won't end up giving you useless gifts you won't be using. If your wishlist looks too poor for his taste he's generous enough to sneak in more extra gifts until it feels satisfying enough.

Nanami Kento

- loves to take care of you during the day-

Nanami is more of an action guy than a gift giver when it comes to Valentine. He would be the type to wake up at 3 am without you knowing so he can surprise you with a freshly baked cake and a delicious breakfast. Nanami always loves spending quality time with you on special occasions so the valentine day would be no different. You two will partake in activities Nanami has planned for both of you and he would end the day with a delicious homemade dinner worth a 5 star rating.

Choso kamo

-The chocolate disaster-

What's a valentine day without chocolate? That's Choso's motto during valentine. He's the type to buy a lot of ingredients he won't even be using and get started on the chocolate making atleast a week prior. No amount of preparing can prevent the complete disaster incoming though. You see Choso wanted to give you the BEST so he tried his best but maybe overdoing it too much can leads to you fucking up the whole thing, that's how Choso ended up with chocolate that barely tasted like chocolate and a kitchen covered in chocolate syrup and bits. But that doesn't demotivate your boyfriend at all because he wants his girl smiling on valentine, so he starts again and finally made them somewhat edible. No matter the taste the dedication your boyfriend put to the chocolates warms your heart anyway.

Atleast It is until you come over to his apartment and sees the complete disaster waiting for u in the kitchen.

Toji Fushiguro

- last minute gift buyer-

Toji is a man with a lot of responsibilities. Working through missions daily and still coming over to his house like a normal family man while keeping his job as an Assassin a secret from his wife indeed requires a lot of work. So you really can't blame Toji if he misses one thing or two. Maybe that's why he's confused as to why his wife is suddenly giving him the silent treatment. He follows around you like a lost puppy that evening trying to figure out what's wrong with you. And when you two finally settle into bed that's when it clicks to him as he remembers way too much pink shit being everywhere in the town today. He mentally curses as he excused himself from the bed to "go on a walk". Toji uses that opportunity to finally go into the town and find a gift that you would actually enjoy. Your anger washes over the moment you see your husband approach you with a small gift box in hands. He doesn't forget to apologize again and again for fucking up the day for you.

Ryomen Sukuna

- the mean tease-

Sukuna would be the type to buy you a gift even before you mention to him about Valentine. He would play it safe by saying "Useless stuff" "Good day for money grabbing corporate overlords". He enjoys teasing you throughout the day while you are waiting impatiently for his gift. But his teasing drops the moment he sees the pout and the gloomy expression taking over your face as you accept defeat. Sukuna's ass is so down bad for you that he absolutely HATES seeing you in that expression. Not even a minute after he tosses a gift box to your lap.

"Aw Kuna you bought a valentine gift for me?"

"No I just bought you a "gift" like I always do"

"No but you gave it to me during Valentine so of course it's a valentine gift!"

"Don't be stupid brat"

He says in his usual annoyed tone but you weren't able to miss the slight blush appearing in his face after you thank him with a kiss to his cheek.

Ugh I just love Sukuna so much, Hope y'all enjoy this Valentine drabble!<33

[laura1633]

I had to write something after hearing Crane suggest Max wear a ball gag to the first press conference of the year. It's just something short and silly but here it is. (1281 words)

“Charles, quick here, help me with this!”

Charles makes a peculiar squeaking sound as he finds two hands on him dragging him away from the direction he was heading and down a corridor. The Monegasque is just about to start kicking and screaming when he realises that it is Max who is currently manhandling him. 

“We don’t have much time” Max holds something up in his hand. And Charles - , well Charles has to do a double take because -

“What the fuck is that?” Charles stares straight at the item. There’s no real need to ask what it is because it is quite clearly a ball gag. The real question is why Max is holding it up menacingly seconds before they head into a press conference. 

“I was talking to Seb,” Max appears a little frustrated at the delay Charles is causing by wanting an explanation, “and he said that if I really want to make a statement about these new rules then perhaps the best statement would be silence….”

“Seb said to wear a gag?” Charles raises an eyebrow as he gives Max a curious look. He supposes that does sound a little like something Seb would suggest.

“Well no not exactly,” Max’s lips curl upwards into a grin, “The gag was my idea. Good right?”

“You know you’ll probably end up in the stewards room for this?” Charles’ heart rate spikes as Max impatiently thrusts the ball gag into his hands. 

“I will end up in there anyway!” Max smirks, “May as well have some fun first.” 

Charles finds a lot of things fun. Hanging out with friends. Skiing. Hiking. Music. Something. Anything other than stepping out in front of the world’s media in bondage gear. Clearly him and Max have different ideas of what is considered fun. 

“Are you going to help me or am I going to have to do it myself?” Max huffs.

“I can help,” Charles tuts rather defensively. Of course he is capable of placing a gag into Max’s mouth and be completely normal about it.

Completely. Utterly. Normal. 

“Cool,” Max opens his mouth wide. Ready, waiting. 

And suddenly it doesn’t feel quite so funny because Charles’ hands are getting sweaty and his heart is about to break free from his ribcage. He doesn’t really have much choice though, he can’t exactly run away, so the Monegasque reaches out and tentatively places the ball gag directly into Max’s mouth and watches as the Dutchman wraps his lips around it.

It looks -, fuck it looks hotter than it has any right to. 

Max makes a soft humming sound of approval and turns around to let Charles fasten the back. 

This is absolutely not what Charles imagined he would be doing moments before the first press conference of what could be a pivotal season for him.  He has no idea how he is going to answer questions about Ferrari’s championship potential or the impact of the arrival of Lewis when he has Max sat next to him like this. 

Charles gets the gag properly fastened and is pretty pleased with his handiwork. It’s not too tight but it’s secure enough that it’s not going to fall out.

Max makes a muffled sound that goes immediately to Charles’ dick and the Monegasque tries his best to think unsexy thoughts. It’s bad enough Max is going in there with his mouth stuffed, Charles absolutely can not accompany him with a hard on.

“You ready to go?” Charles gets a gentle nod in return as Max rather dutifully follows him through to the room. 

And just as Charles had anticipated, the whole room erupts with noise. There’s raucous laughter and excitable chatter along with a few gasps and most significantly of all a blinding amount of flashing cameras. Within minutes there will be photos all over the internet of Max with his mouth held open and lips plush around the silicone ball.  

“Everything okay Max?”

Charles watches as Max gives the reporter a thumbs up and then slinks down on the couch casually. Like this is any other press conference. Like there isn’t the smallest amount of saliva already dripping from behind the gag. 

There is though. 

Charles is close enough to see it dripping around the sides. By the time they are done here Max will likely be drooling helplessly. Wet. Messy. Filthy. 

Fernando looks endlessly amused. Ollie looks shocked but then giggles along nervously. Charles is - , well in truth Charles is turned on.

“Max why don’t you tell us what you think your chances are of retaining your championship this year? 

Charles turns to his right and watches Max shrug and then make a ‘so-so’ action with his hand. It’s enough to earn him another round of laughter from everyone.  Everyone apart from Charles who has to force a smile on to his face. 

Max fidgets a little in his seat. Charles can’t help but wonder what the Dutchman is thinking, whether he is regretting it, whether he is enjoying it. 

The Dutchman tries to swallow down the spit that is clearly building in his mouth. Charles hears the wetness of it. Sees more drool starting to escape down the sides, glistening under the lights. Max doesn’t look embarrassed though, he is just staring out ahead. Charles isn’t sure he has ever seen someone look so submissive and dominant at the same time. Gagged but in control. 

“Max is this some kind of statement regarding the new rules and penalties?”

Charles tries not to groan as he hears Max make a murmured sound from behind his gag. It’s completely incomprehensible, obviously, but the helplessness of the sound makes Charles’ dick twitch.  Again everyone in the room chuckles. And once again Charles has to force a smile on his face whilst also discreetly trying to readjust himself so his semi is not quite so obvious. 

There must be other people finding this a turn on. Charles can’t be the only one. Except maybe its because Charles can hear Max trying to breath around the intrusion. Maybe its because he can hear the muffled sounds and the slurping of spit. Maybe it’s because he can see the stretch of the lips and the way Max’s throat muscles are contracting each time he swallows. Maybe its because Charles is the only one thinking about what else Max could be gagging around right now. 

Charles has no idea what answers he gives to any of the questions thrown his way. In fact Max is probably making a lot more sense than he is. The Monegasque jumps up the second he is allowed to leave and immediately turns his back to the audience of journalists so they can’t spot the rather obvious bulge in his pants. 

Max follows him closely out of the room and is quick to remove the gag. The Dutchman starts gently massaging lightly his own jaw and wiping the excess of drool up. His cheeks looked flush, red all along the cheekbones, his eyes are sparkling tough. Excitement. 

“I think you shocked them,” Charles tries to look normal about the whole thing, “I don’t know whether you are a genius or an idiot.” 

“Perhaps both,” Max shrugs. 

“I can’t believe you bought a ball gag just to wind them up,” Charles’ gaze drops to the gag, it’s soaking wet, “What the hell are you going to do with that now?”

Max laughs and shakes his head. 

“I didn’t buy this for them,” Max smirks as he meets Charles’ gaze, “I had it at home. It’s going straight back into my collection.”

Charles stares blankly as Max winks and then saunters off swinging his ball gag in his hand. 

[kangaracha]

QUEENMAKER | CHAPTER 24

---

pairing chan x reader

genre ninth member au, angst, fluff, coming of age, social media, cancel culture, anxiety, depression, forbidden love,

summary To JYPE, the solution is simple; take the sole trainee that will not debut with your brand new girl group, and use her to replace the missing vocalist in your male group that insisted on starting as nine.

Unfortunately, to the fans and the members themselves, it isn't that simple.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

a/n hi. it's me. i'm back. i don't have any excuses to make.

please also check out daybreak, posting weekly from now on (yes i did write an entire smau instead of queenmaker and sit on it for almost six months)

previous | masterlist | next

---

Comeback approaches like a hurricane; it's there, developing in the corner of your eye just off the coast of your island, and then all at once it is here, and it is so all-encompassing that you're not even sure where here is anymore.

Comeback. Debut. The most important day of your life. One of those.

 Time starts to fly by; schedules and practice and filming and every so often the chance to sleep or to grab something to eat with the others. It drags at your coattails, sticks itself to your feet and settles like a weight upon your shoulders, but you can't stop. There are performances to film, and then there is a concert that you are missing so much of the choreography for, and even when all of that is over, you are headfirst into award season and special performances and group activities for the company and-

First, debut. Second, everything else.

The camera sits on the table in front of you, staring with one dark, unblinking eye as a brush darts across your face, erasing all your imperfections. It fills your stomach with a funny kind of fear, small but poisonous, stinging when you think about turning it on - you've managed to put it off so far, waiting until your face was made up to at least avoid having to see your own naked skin reflected back at you in the viewfinder. No one else wanted to see that either, you're sure, after the things you've read and...well, the experiences you've had in the past. It's good to know your limits, after all.

That excuse is fast running out now though, and the time to go up towards the stage is drawing closer with alarming speed, and if you don't capture any footage before that happens, you're in some real trouble, no matter how loudly Seungmin and Felix are churning out hours worth of content on the other side of the room.

It takes real, deliberate effort to lean forward and turn that camera on once the makeup artist proclaims you ready, your hands delaying still as they fiddle with the angle and the focus, following the motions the manager that had handed it to you had shown you before he left. It gives you a little red light to say it is filming, and you swallow down the stone in your throat and sit up straight, looking around at the room to avoid the stare of its lense.

The first minute of your vlog is very boring. It's probably only the thought of some stranger sitting in a room later and watching you sit there awkwardly for a ridiculous amount of time that spurs you into saying anything at all. 

"Hello Stay," you begin, because it seems the only way to begin. The words feel awkward in your mouth, your tongue stiff and undeserving of saying them, and your throat scratches and dries; you think, as you speak, that you do not sound like a singer at all. "It's nice to meet you...for the second time." 

A noise rises up from behind you, giving you pause just as you run out of things to say - Han, running his voice up and down the scales as he begins to warm up. You've gotten used to that by now, the volume of the boys around you, but you're grateful for the excuse to pause in your self-rumination anyway, the precious seconds it gives you to figure out what it is you're saying.

Act normal, you tell yourself firmly as you turn back to the camera.

"I guess I should introduce myself, shouldn't I?" you say, your fingers twisting in your lap. "I'm L/N Y/N from Stray Kids, and today we're at [] for our first performance of Back Door, and I have just finished with the makeup..."

In the corner of the viewfinder, you notice a face hovering over your shoulder; Jeongin, waving a peace sign just out of your field of vision. You turn to look at him, shuffling over so that he is in full view for the camera. "What are you doing?" you ask and he leans in closer, automatically fixing the angle for the camera.

"I just wanted to see what you were doing," he says, refreshingly peaceful compared to the chaos that is building in the rest of the room. "Is this a vlog?"

"Mhm," you answer, and he smiles and waves again to the camera. "Are you dressed already?"

"Nearly," he says, glancing down at his white shirt and the black necklace that dangles around his neck. "You have time still."

You glance down at yourself; hoodie and cargo pants, neat but not show-ready by any means. "Mine is cold," you say by way of explanation, thinking of the skirt and thin shirt that wait on a rack in the next room, a far cry from the long pants the eight of them are wearing; and you really do like the look you've been given, but the thought of sitting around cold before you had to was less than enticing. "I was going to go and change in a minute."

"Maybe you should swap with someone," I.N suggests slyly. "I bet Changbin would look good in a skirt."

"Changbin's pants wouldn't fit me," you throw back, and he has to turn away from the camera to hide the ugly laugh that snorts from his nose. "He's too-"

Short, you don't say, your eyes tracking the boy in question as he passes by. He pauses in the back of your video when he notices your eyes on him, looks between you suspiciously, and then dances his way out of frame, having decided, you guess, that you aren't up to anything worthy of comment.

The look you share with I.N almost makes you laugh again. "I'm going," you say, scooping up your camera as you stand, "before he realises we're talking about him."

---

"Why do you look nervous?" Chan asks, a shadow that suddenly stands beside you as someone clips a mic pack onto his belt. You eye him in disbelief to avoid turning to look at the hallway that leads to the stage again, trying to figure out if he's joking or not.

"I can be nervous if I want to," you answer after a few seconds, in a way that definitely doesn't hide how anxious you feel at all. 

"But you shouldn't be," he insists, "because there's nothing to be nervous about."

"You know that won't stop me," you scoff.

He cracks a smile despite himself. He almost laughs, except that he's busy turning to nod in acknowledgement of whatever the assistant behind him says on her way past. "It's going to be a good performance," he says, like the simple act of saying it is enough to manifest it into existance, like he would never believe otherwise.

"It's going to be good," you agree readily. "The concerts next week are going to be good too."

That smile flashes across his face again, his eyes lighting up. "You're excited?" he asks - and you almost feel guilty, that he would think that you wouldn't be excited, that you've worked so hard and put on such a stoic face that any of them might start to think this is a chore for you, rather than a dream coming true in front of your eyes.

"Of course I'm excited," you tell him emphatically, before he can get any ideas. "I can't wait to-"

"Y/N noona!" Changbin says as he strides across the room, stopping the thought halfway through. You turn to face him and the phone he waggles in his hand questioningly. "Take a photo with me."

"Right now?" you ask, looping your in-ears over your shoulders as if to demonstrate just how poor his timing is.

Changbin doesn't notice at all. "Why not now?" he questions. "I'm supposed to take a photo for instagram. Come and take one with me."

Beside you, Chan looks like he still has something to say, but when you glance at him, he only shrugs, turning away to fiddle with his own equipment. "Alright," you agree easily and follow Changbin, over to a bland enough piece of wall with decent lighting. You have a feeling someone has already scouted the room earlier for the best places to take photos, judging by how easy it is to find and how well it photographs.

It's a good distraction from the nerves for a few minutes, but it doesn't last much longer than that; especially not when Changbin barks and fusses over the angle and the faces, and then Hyunjin comes wandering over to take the camera out of his hand, and you realise that he's occupying you as much as doing what Skijigi have asked him to do. After that, you laugh and poke fun back at him with just the same vivacity, but it does nothing to assauge the anxiety that's planted deep in your gut, roots curling out to envelop you.

Somehow, when you're done, it is time to go up to the stage - and suddenly, you are engulfed within the group and walking that hallway you had been staring at what feels like moments ago, trying to swallow with a dry mouth and a stone in your throat and wondering if you'll actually be able to get any of the notes out at all.

Chan's hand touches your shoulder as you walk, appearing by your side in just the same way as he had earlier. You wonder if he can smell fear or something; or if you really are just that pale and drawn in the face, if your hands are shaking or something. Whatever it is, you're clearly not doing a very good job of hiding it. 

"You still look nervous," he tells you cheerily, and if he's aware that he's reading your thoughts, he doesn't give any indication of it, not even as he pulls you aside as you reach side-stage and glances up at the huddle of boys that continue to the bottom of the stairs, eyeing them as if there's something he doesn't want them to hear.

"I got you something," he says, when he's sure there are no eavesdroppers, and lets his lips curve in a secretive, delighted smile.

Your eyebrow raises in surprise, almost certain that he did not forget, but rather has been looking for the right time to bring it up - but he doesn't notice the look of disbelief, fishing a small, velvet bag out of his pocket. He offers it to you on an outstretched palm, a bridge to form the gap between you.

With timid, shaking fingers you take it, noting the pink that stains his cheeks and the way he cringes away from meeting your eye as you pull the drawstrings loose. "I saw you playing with the ones at K-Con," he hurries to explain before you can even see what's inside. "And you - fidget a lot. I thought it might help."

A ring tumbles out of the bag and into your palm, the full stop to the end of his sentence. It's only a plain silver band, softly curved at the edges and gleaming where the light hits it - nothing ostentatious or gaudy. Just a simple band for you to twist around your finger, the letters SKZ engraved on its inner circle.

"Thankyou," you manage to say as you slip it onto your finger - and then fiddle with it, twisting it and forth to distract yourself from the nervous hum that seems to hang in the air between you.

"Oh, no." He waves you away before you can even get the words out, that pink flushing his face. "Look, it works already." 

You glance down at your fingers and the twist of the ring, and feel the grin that bites at your face. "I like it," you admit, and try to breathe the nervous jitters out of your chest with the words. 

He looks...relieved? You're not sure, when the music blasts on stage and then cuts off and the crowd roars in response, cutting him off before he can say whatever it is that now lines the back of his teeth. It looks like relief on his face though; as if he'd been worried you wouldn't take the gift or something. Wouldn't see the sentiment behind it even if you didn't like it. What does he think of you, if that's how he thinks you might react?

The thought sends another thrill of fear down your spine, one that the scrape of that ring on your finger can't quiet. So does the scream of that crowd - adrenaline rises from your chest, wrapping its hands around your throat; that wild, senseless energy tensing in your body like you're about to run from a fight-

A hand claps your shoulder. "Are you breathing?" Seungmin asks, balancing on one foot as he leans around you to frown at your face.

You have to inhale to retort, and he smirks. "That's what I was wondering," Chan says behind that grin - but the brush of his hand over the back of yours is much softer; questioning, rather than the jolt of contact from Seungmin.

"I don't need to breathe," you throw at them weakly. "I'm a robot."

"How do I turn you off, then?" Chan asks, and then laughs when you stare at him, surprised. Betrayed, maybe, when you would have expected such a thing to come out of Seungmin's mouth rather than his.

You're distracted by the call of a staff member, waiting to usher you onto the stage - and there, again, are your nerves, returned in two-fold. Debut, you remember again for the thousandth time today. Your dream. Your reward. Your life's work, the only work you've ever learnt how to do.

The group huddle together, say some quick words of encouragement that float past you with registering at all. Your hand is warm in the centre of all of theirs, crushed by the weight of someone's palm as eight hands go down and whoever is on the bottom goes up, ruining the whole thing. You know that you laugh, between the groans and cries of retribution, but it doesn't reach right into your chest. All your attention is laser-focused on the steps before you and the buzz of the crowd waiting beyond.

You are not alone in your daze, at least. Many hands pat your shoulders, smooth your hair. Felix throws an arm around you until you reach the stairs, a one-armed hug while he talks about something in your ear. He lets you go while you climb, and follows on your heels out onto the stage.

The crowd is smaller than K-Con, to your mercy, even if they scream and cheer just as loud as that massive crowd had. It seems like a stupid thing to find comfort in a moment later, when the thought hits you again; of course the crowd is smaller. This is only a broadcast recording, not the concerts that leer at your from the near future.

Some of the boys are already at the centre of the stage, waving and talking to fans. You join them long enough for the official greeting - and then melt away into the background when Changbin immediately commands attention. You find Han there with you, arms swinging by his sides in one last warmup, but you can't think of anything to say other than the tight grin that offers itself to him, no doubt writing all you nerves right onto your face. The smile he gives you in return is sympathetic, and devoid of pretty words to go with it; just a flash of teeth, a puff of air that blows into his cheeks before exhaling. It's a little comfort, at least.

The call to begin shatters any calm it pulls over you just as quickly as it arrives though, the stage a hive of activity as everyone finds their places. For a long moment, no one moves and nothing plays, the tense, still seconds ticking by at an excruciating pace-

And then the music starts.

And then you dance.

And then you sing, loud and clear and bright - and steady, even with the complex movement of your body and the increasing cry of your chest for air. 

The finale rises and culminates with Felix's voice, standing at the end of the line behind you. You feel his weight bump against you as he shifts on his feet, hear the moment of silence and then the renewed cheer of the crowd when his ending fairy comes up on the screens. You can't see when it ends, so you count to five before you turn, ducking out of the line as requested and immediately finding the red light of the camera that was told to be waiting for you. Finger hearts, Felix had suggested backstage and Hyunjin had agreed, and so that is what you give them, angled just so by your cheek and the giddy smile that had been pulling on your lips before the music was even finished.

The stage goes silent, the few scattered beginnings of applause quickly throttled by the hands that remain in their laps. The seconds tick by at a glacial pace, the smile threatening to slip from your face. You glue it there with all the fire that remains in your veins.

You could swear the camera lingers, just to drink in your pain. Logically, you know it is the same time as Felix had. Somehow, the thought isn't comforting.

Finally, that lense clicks off and the boys move around you, giving the crowd something else to hawk and squeal at. Something they really want to see, you allow yourself to think acerbically, and carefully avoid looking any of them in the eye as you do your forced, casual wander off the stage. It is hard enough to achieve in your own bubble, to resist that urge to run, let alone if you catch anything like sympathy on their faces.

The first one below, you take one look at the playback monitor and excuse yourself to the staff, fleeing towards the bathrooms. You're dimly aware of footsteps behind you and the sound of your name, but they do not process and your feet won't stop - not until the heavy door slams shut behind you and the propel of your walk carries you in sight of the mirror over the sinks-

Beautiful, you'd dared to think earlier, staring vindictively at just the same image that looks back at you now. The careful fit of the navy shirt, the short skirt flattering the length and lines of your legs, the layered bangles and the diamonds that glitter around your neck...perfectly crafted to slip right in amongst the silk and patterns of the boys - and not unlike Midnight's dark queen concept either, the concept you hadn't had the right look for. You'd even liked your face, and the unearthly glow they'd painted into your cheeks, the perfect frame of your dark hair-

But something had displeased that crowd. Whether the look, or the dancing, or stupid, stubborn pettiness over girlish crushes - or all of it put together. It took a lot to silence an entire crowd. You knew that - you'd seen one refuse to be silenced before, but never nominally refuse to cheer. Never pass the sentiment around and come to an absolute mutual agreement.

It's a talent, to be able to do that by yourself, you think as you stare into your own eyes in the mirror; and you don't have it in you to deny the rush of feelings that wells in your chest this time, or the hot prick of tears in your eyes. Your thoughts are swept off in the storm, the questions clamouring, crying, begging for one answer; why, why, why, why. Why do they hate you, why are they so mean about it, why didn't you just go home? Why did you ever come to this country in the first place? Why id you think you were good enough to be worth their love?

A soft knock on the door precedes the tentative entry of an assistant; one of the girls from JYP that always travels with you on schedules. You know her name, but you should know her better; instead, you've just been keeping to yourself. Another point of failure, probably.

"Y/N?" she says, daring to put one foot through the door as you blink and nod in acknowledgement. "Sorry - we need to start heading back now. You can have another moment - if you need-"

"I'm coming," you hurry to say; and it is shame that colours your cheeks and gives you the strength again to swallow it down like a hard stone. The tears burn as you blink them away, as you stare at the mirror and decide that no more will fall except for the traitorous three that have already escaped. You'll have to go back on that stage - you won't go red-eyed and puffy, won't give them that satisfaction.

You'll have to do that ending again too, though. Weather that storm a second time. Well, you'll just have to make sure this take is perfect, and then no one will ask for a third. You'll be able to go home and hide.

Your moment is up. You know that, and so you turn yourself away from the mirror, to the girl that waits. She willingly averts her eyes as she steps out, holding the door for you until you grip the edge of it with your own hand and follow her.

Chan is waiting in the hallway, leaning against the wall and staring at nothing as he waits. There's a dark anger in his eyes when he turns, but it isn't for you - no, the tissue box in his hand is for you, offered like a bridge that spans the gap between you. 

Warily, you draw one and turn aside to dab at your eyes and try to cool the burn in your cheeks. You want to cringe away from yourself and hide in the bathroom again, to put off facing him until he goes away - but if you do that, he'll know you're hiding, and the hovering assistant will bear the blame of not bringing you back, and those fans will think they know why it's taking so long-

Stupid. They already know that they've won. Chan can see you crying. There's no one left to make a fool of except yourself.

"Are you alright?" Chan asks - and just like you thought, there is none of that anger in the gentle voice that asks.

"It's fine," you answer, biting at your tongue agains the tears that threaten to stir anew. "Sorry. I just needed - a moment. I'm ready to go again."

"Take another moment," he tells you.

"I'd rather go," you say, and it comes out harsher than you mean it to - but it is only the tears that you are fighting, that horrible, gut-wrenching wave of emotion that wants to wash over you. "I'm fine. Really."

The tissue crushes in your palm. You wonder if the sceptical look he gives you is because of the makeup you've surely smudged, or if he just doesn't believe you. "Are you sure?" he asks, and you steel yourself as you breathe in.

"I will be if we don't talk about it," you tell him tightly, and then you take the lead before he can disagree. He falls into step willingly anyway, thoughtful or maybe brooding as you weave your way back to the stage.

"We're not doing the endings again," he tells you as you approach, right as the flock of makeup artists engulf you. Like they knew you'd be crying, you think acerbically, and then banish the thought before it can unbalance you again.

"Were there any notes for me?" you ask as a brush dusts your cheek. The dancing; that's the only thing you need to focus on. The performance. Do it perfectly, and you can escape. Subconsciously, you fingers find the ring, twisting it around and around.

"Not for you," Chan says. "Just try to enjoy it again, yeah?"

Several choice comments come to mind as you gaze at him, each one as dry and hurt as the last, but a look at the occupants of the room stills your tongue. Assistants and stylists and employees of the show - people that you shouldn't be caught speaking ill of fans or members in front of. You've read your contracts and the company ethics, seen the bill for your training attached to your name. You know how far fans and a good public image takes even the most insidious people.

"I'll try," you promise instead, firmly holding your tongue to your principals. No point complaining about hardships anyway. This isn't an industry that takes pity on those who are too weak to survive it.

Even so, the answer seems vapid and contrived the moment it spills out of your mouth. Chan doesn't have time to contest it; the others are already returning to the stage to entertain that undeserving crowd, and so you must follow too, side by side in silence. His microphone passes restlessly from hand to hand, even when you step on stage and his brow smoothes out. You wonder how long that rage will simmer beneath his skin.

Until he can do something about it, a little voice whispers to you with a thrill, watching his receding back.

The stage sweeps you away after that, Chan disappearing into the midst of the others with just one last glance over his shoulder to make sure that you're following. Seungmin replaces him, appearing unobtrusively in your shadow as Felix slings an arm back around your shoulders and bats his hand away from messing with your hair. They flank you until you drift into your position, and then the stage goes quiet so that the music can start again. 

The dance flies by; chorus, verse, bridge, dance break. The fans cheer and chant along as dutifully as they had the first time, but the sound resonates hollow in your chest this time, the faces that you give the camera manufactured rather than brought on by the music. It's hard to forget, now that you know the truth, that those cheers aren't for you; only the boys that surround you, their bodies moving in unison with yours. Part of them, and yet set apart. 

You'd come six years ago expecting to be the jewel in that kind of crown, you think. This crowd has made you the flaw, ugly and unmistakably out of place.

It's a relief when the song ends and you can let go, your shoulders slumping and your chin dropping to your chest as you stare at the floor and try to breathe. A hundred emotions sweep by you, there and then swallowed again by the storm that churns in your stomach; you flinch away from the crowd's laughter at something Han does, and then laugh when Changbin's face appears upside-down in your field of vision, his body contorted strangely in an effort to meet your eyes. There's still something hiding in Chan's eyes and Felix is openly angry, but Minho gives nothing away in the nod he gives you as he passes by. Changbin talks about what to get for dinner on the way back down the stairs, but the words just wash over you; you're not hungry anyway, after all of this, just hollow and restless and tired.

Your third filming trudges by much the same, correcting a small mistake by Han in the pursuit of perfection. The boy looks apologetic as he passes you by, but it's not him or the dancing that you resent. It's just a thing you have to do, until all nine of you are pleased, until you can finally leave that stage and draw the hoodie you'd worn here on a very different kind of morning back over your head and climb into a car to go home.

You don't win any awards. The boys hide their disappointment, but you know it is there. You know, too, where the fan vote went and why that trophy was stolen away from them. 

You're not really sure what anyone expects you to do about it.

---

TAGLIST

@kokinu09 @rainfallingfromthesky @lixie-phoria @mysweethannie @chlodavids

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@keepswingin

[muse-hodgepodge]

Frisk shrugs, quite used to teleportation thanks to Sans but Asriel clearly wasn't. Or rather, he was caught more unaware now that he wasn't trapped in a flower. "It's... different than before... I can't sense it coming as easily as before." He admits while Reyna looks them over. Thankfully both were free from injuries so far though that is probably in large part thanks to Frisk being used to dodging monster attacks now and Asriel being a monster.

When Reyna poses her question the pair look mildly surprised at it. Then again, it should've been expected since it seems like most of her information comes from Sans and he didn't have the whole picture. Frisk shrugs a bit before answering, "it largely depends on what we need it for. Should we die or almost die we can go back to a sort of checkpoint. It doesn't reset the whole timeline, more just like a quick jump backwards and barely requires any thought. Just a desire to not die."

Asriel looks down as he answers next, "resetting the whole timeline requires a huge amount of determination, is only available to the person with the most determination, and that can be done at any point though most of the time it was when I got bored while I was Flowey... I had just wanted to see every possible outcome of literally everything and anything that I could do to the monsters... It was easy... cause I had no soul I couldn't feel big emotions. I had it until Frisk fell for the first time."

Frisk gives his shoulder a comforting squeeze knowing that this would haunt him for a long time. They sigh before speaking again, "as for me I could reset easily if I determined nothing was going to plan... It started out innocently enough in a bad way... I just wanted to go and make friends with everyone again... then I wanted to free everyone from the Underground including Flowey and that sad goopy monster I had seen once before. But Asriel refused to leave the Underground in the pacifist runs and was too scared to come with me in the neutral runs or would try to kill me to get his power of reset back. Then me and Chara would only run into the other monster randomly and we could never figure out how to free him of the room he was trapped in."

"I didn't realize with all the resets and things I was doing I was corrupting Chara... They became more and more violent, well more than normal anyway, and kept pushing to kill more and more..." Frisk felt bad for that and looked down to their hands as if they could see all the dust that covered them still despite being clean as a whistle this time.

"Ahaha, my apologies. I sometimes forget my teleportation can be a bit surprising to those not acclimated to it." She admits with an embarrassed chuckle. After that, she gets a good look over the two. They don't seem hurt. But she is still unsure about this power that they have for this time loop.

"So, while you two are here, can I ask you both something? I know you both have some experience with this rewinding of time you've been doing. Can you explain exactly how this works?" She asks.

[jinmindeulle]

vulnerable | k. mingyu, j. wonwoo (1)

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 kim mingyu x fem!reader x jeon wonwoo

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 3.3 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst, fluff | friends-with-benefits!mingyu, neighbor-and-highschool-crush!wonwoo | you decide! mingyu (pt. 2) or wonwoo (pt.3)

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 mentions about sex i guess?

when mingyu realizes that things are not going like he'd like between you two, he asks for some distance. lucky for you, your high school crush was waiting for you some doors away.

• • ┈┈┈┈ ๑ ⋅ ⋯ ୨ ୧ ⋯ ⋅ ๑ ┈┈┈┈ • •

“I don’t wanna fuck tonight”

For how Mingyu plopped himself onto your couch as soon as you opened the door to your apartment, it was pretty clear that he had just come by to spend the night cuddling with you — and you weren’t complaining. You loved being engulfed by your friend’s bulky arms and how he couldn’t get enough of you, even when you were fully clothed and talking about Love Island.

“What’s got you so sulky?” you asked, kissing the top of his head as you walked past him on your way to the kitchen. “You’re lucky I just got started with dinner”

“My boss is a pain in the ass — by the way, those shorts look fire on you” after giving the longest sigh you had ever heard coming from him, the man turned his head your way and winked.

You looked down at your legs and chuckled. Those shorts were the oldest, most worn-out you had in your closet. “I bet they do. Wanna talk about that boss of yours?”

“Nah, work belongs at work. Whatcha cooking?”

“I was craving some japchae.”

“Remind me again, how are you just my fwb?”

A soft giggle escaped your lips, and you just turned around to get started on your dish, not noticing how serious his question had been. The truth was, he was your best friend, with benefits, of course, but that was a line that Mingyu had never wanted to cross when you first started fooling around. 

The first time had been your fault, and Mingyu was always ready to throw that on you whenever he had the chance. You were a little bit drunk, not enough not to remember what happened the next day, but far away from the perfectly reasonable woman you normally were. 

The thing was, even when you were in all your senses and could discern wrong from right, Mingyu had always been an attractive fellow. Aside from his obvious heavenly looks, you felt satisfied and joyful when he favored you over other plans and even other girls. Mingyu looked at you with a softness that you knew only saved for you, and that had gotten into your heart… just a little. 

The pint of beer he treated you that night for helping him set up his new wardrobe made it easier for you to lean a little closer and press your lips to his. 

He looked at you with extremely big eyes but a smirk that you rarely saw while alone with him. “Sorry. You wouldn’t stop rambling” you said, which was partly true. Gyu had just started working as the editor-in-chief of a well-renowned newspaper and liked to tell you all about his new co-workers.

When you took it back to your place, it was obvious that Mingyu was okay with the idea of you kissing him. Now, he was the one bringing his lips to yours after you closed the door behind you. 

“I wanna keep being friends” 

Though it broke your heart a little, you had to admit you were fine with his proposal — just because it meant you gained new rights with the one man you had shared most of your life with. In between hot kisses, you nodded and in a mutual agreement, decided to let it happen. 

“You cannot violate the contract, Gyu” taking the veggies out of the fridge, you reminded him of the spoken agreement you had come to that day. We can kiss, we can have sex. We are not exclusive, we cannot be jealous. We can make it stop when one of us asks to. Keep it private.

“We never said anything about the label” Mingyu got up from the couch and decided to help you out, chopping the carrots you had saved for later.

“What part of ‘We are not exclusive’ equals having a label?” you asked, too concentrated on measuring the right amount of sauce to see the look he gave you.

“But we act as exclusive” 

What was wrong with him today? He had never dared to question whatever thing you got going on after the ‘main event’, so him throwing so many daggers at you regarding your situationship was weird enough to trigger you.

“What’s on your mind? It’s been almost a year of our little fuck-buddies thing and you never asked such dramatic questions”

He sighed and stopped working on the carrots, pressing his left hip to the kitchen counter and leaning on it. After some minutes of silence, he crossed his arms on his chest. “I don’t know. I guess the not-exclusive part but quite literally being exclusive has been on my mind lately. What makes us different from a couple?”

As you finished seasoning the beef, you cleaned your hands and faced him, not sure if you were getting his troubles. “Are you worried that because we are not fucking other people we are becoming ‘a couple’?” 

“Don’t you think so? I mean…” he scratched the back of his head, avoiding your eyes as the thought of you being a couple started to become a reality in his mind. “We act like boyfriend and girlfriend when we are around, we have amazing sex, we-w-we,” he stuttered “We adore each other”

“What I don’t get is,” you came closer to his broad form, looking up to his eyes “Why are you so worried about that?”

“Because I-I” his stutters were not so common on him, and that made you arch an eyebrow. He was not being his usual self “I don’t want us to be a couple” He sentenced.

Bold of you to assume that he was falling in love with you.

Nodding with a lump forming in your throat, you took a step back and dealt with your disappointment as well as you could “What do you suggest, then?”

“Go out with other people. Reject me from time to time, tell me you’ve got plans even when you don’t. Share your bed with another man. Just… don’t let me be the only one around you.”

“Then leave. I’ve got other plans”

. . . . . . . . . .

You hadn’t seen him ever since he left your dorm that eerie evening — over a week ago. He had shot you some texts, but the realization that you were actually feeling things for him beyond what he was willing to offer put a restraint on your replies. They were shorter, emojiless, and a bit bitter. 

Mingyu had wanted to see you two times, Thursday first and Saturday last. I’ve got plans, your default reply to both, and probably to all the invitations that were to come from him. He was getting what he had asked for: no more couple behavior.  

As you finished massaging your night cream with the ‘miraculous’ gua sha onto your jawline, your phone buzzed. An unknown number had sent you a text. 

Hi, Y/N

I know this is weird, but I heard you recently moved

And I think we’re neighbors

What an idiot, this is Jeon Wonwoo

The heat that you felt creeping on your cheeks was not normal, but you were used to it. Jeon Wonwoo had been the crush of your teenage (and not so teenage) years, all the way through high school and even your part-time job at Mrs. Lim’s café right before starting college. 

The seventeen-year-old version of you would be giggling and running around your dorm at just the thought of him and his cute-ass rounded glasses.

Oh my, hi Wonwoo! 

That’s awesome! I moved here a month or so ago, but I never saw you around

I’m at 12A 

Wbu?

As you saved his contact, you thought about how bad in love you had been with him in the past. 

He was the type of guy you had fantasized about for many years, even after meeting Mingyu. Wonwoo was serious at work and even in high school — his responsibilities had always come before anything else and you loved that about him. You just knew he was going to be a successful man in whatever he decided to do in life. And he got all the girls ogling at him, no matter where he went. 

That had been about eight years or so ago. You couldn’t wait to see how handsome he had gotten with time. 

No way

I’m at 16B

You home now?

I’d love to catch up

Just finished preparing some bibimbap

Oh. Dear. Lord.

You entered your closet as fast as you could and discarded the pajama set you had on with the ease that not even Mingyu could master. Your eyes fell on a casual summer dress that was your go-to whenever you needed an easy but cute way out and quickly threw it on.

Before throwing your night skincare routine to the trash with some light makeup, you replied to Wonwoo’s texts.

Sounds yummy! 

Be there in 5

After combing through your (thankfully recently) washed hair, you sprayed your favorite perfume on and took a deep breath. 

“Okay, little Y/N, here we go”

Nothing could have prepared you for what was waiting for you behind the 16B door. 

Jeon Wonwoo was as painfully handsome as he had been as an adolescent. Years had perfectly sat with him and that made your gut relive that tingling sensation you hadn’t felt for a long time. His glasses were still there — a more modern version of his older ones, but they screamed Wonwoo. 

“Oh wow,” he smiled, eagerly blinking, as if he had a blurry vision “I-I didn’t expect you to be quite literally the same as in high school” he smiled, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Should I feel offended by that?” you giggled, looking down at your feet to avoid displaying the same dorky smile you did when around him. 

“Of course not! You were always a sight to see. I-I mean, you look beautiful, Y/N. It’s so nice to see you again”

You couldn’t help but think about how many times you had wished for him to look at you like that. To tell you those sweet things and leave you a blushing mess. After what had happened with Mingyu, having your longest-to-date crush in front of you seemed like you were already using all the luck you had available in life. 

“Come in!” he interrupted your thoughts, moving aside so you could enter his place. 

What came after that felt like a dream. Wonwoo was a dream. 

His apartment was very similar to yours, and what didn’t surprise you at all was how well-kept it looked. Though it was all neatly white and gray, bits of his personality were spread around them. Some artwork hung behind the couch, in front of which stood a very big SmartTV. He had two shelves with a handful of PlayStation games and cutesy plants.  

But what caught your attention the most was a small cat scratcher in the corner of the living room.

“You have a cat?!” You asked, eyes sparkling with anticipation as you turned to face him.

“Well… I’m about to have a cat” he chuckled, signaling you to walk to the kitchen with his head. As you followed suit, he continued “I’m waiting for my brother to bring it home tomorrow”

“Oh my God, it must be the cutest thing ever!” you cried, holding your cheeks with your hands as he showed you a picture of the small creature on his phone “It’s so tiny!” you whined, feeling excitement for what was about to come for Wonwoo “Please invite me over when it arrives” you pleaded, taking his arm to emphasize the importance your request. 

“You will be here, don’t worry”

The security with which he delivered that statement sent shivers down your spine. That confidence was new to you — this Wonwoo was new to you, and you couldn’t wait to explore him.

His bibimbap was delicious, and conversation flowed effortlessly between the two of you. 

Wonwoo had been working as a corporate lawyer for quite some time. Just as you had predicted, he handled big responsibilities like negotiating contracts, dealing with lawsuits, and advising companies on legal matters. He even mentored younger employees and, in his words, was respected but not necessarily liked. 

“I don’t believe that” you shook your head, putting down the chopsticks after finishing the delight he had cooked. 

“That’s me at work. I have a hard time with stupid-ass people”

“Now that I think about it… you did have a hard time with stupid-ass people at the café too”

“See? Not much has changed” He smiled at you, taking the empty plates and putting them into his small dishwasher. “So.. how’s life?”

That was a hard one. Of course, you were not about to rant about how Mingyu, a guy he had never met, had decided to end whatever you had just because he didn’t like commitment. Wonwoo didn’t need to know the hardships of your recently deceased situationship, so you opted to open a door you were now comfortable with opening. 

“26, single, working from Monday to Friday, reading books, and watching reality shows from Saturday to Sunday. A great catch, huh?” the joke-not-so-joke was well-directed because it had the effect you had intended. 

“If you take into account that I’m 28, also single and working from Monday to Friday, playing video games and maybe working out from Saturday to Sunday, I surely think you are an amazing catch” 

But that left you speechless. Wonwoo had never been that direct, even when you had teased him about the long lines of girls drooling on him during high school.

“That job of yours did wonders for your flirting skills, let me tell you” you giggled, feeling the same old tingling sensation on your stomach. 

When it finally hit you that the following day was Monday and the clock was close to 12 sharp, you regretfully made your way to the door. “It was so good to see you again Wonwoo. Thank you for the delicious food”

“I had a blast. Thank you for accepting the last-minute invite. So.. ’ll see you tomorrow?” his gentle smile and glistened eyes made you want to kiss him right then and there. But it felt too rushed, too desperate. And Mingyu was still on your mind, no matter how much you hated him lately. 

“I get home from work at around 7. Sounds good?”

“Do you still like ramen?” 

“Hands down my favorite dish of all time” you nodded eagerly, excitement creeping around you.

“You will taste the best one as of yet”

“Can’t wait”

. . . . . . . . . .

You loved your high-pressure job. As expected when working in finance, your team usually makes big decisions about the company’s mergers, stock trading, and investments. It demanded a lot of strategic thinking, and thankfully you were quite good at it. However, that also meant that you would end up exhausted, literally collapsing on your couch every single day.

But that Monday evening could not be the case.

As soon as you went out of the elevator, you could see his tall frame resting on the wall beside your apartment door, clearly waiting for you. You stood still for a second and considered going down the hall again before he could see you in an attempt to avoid the awkward conversation that was about to happen. But Mingyu was faster and turned around just when the elevator door closed. 

“Are you moving anytime soon?” he crooked his eyebrow, waiting for you to get inside.

“What are you doing here?”

“Trying to make up with you”

You felt silent as you opened the door, Mingyu’s gaze burning into you, his body too close for your liking. You could smell his manly perfume and that hit in places you would rather not. He had the same effect on you as he always did, and you hated yourself for letting him in so easily.  

“I have to leave soon, so make it short” you discarded your bag and waited for him to speak, hands on your hips. 

Mingyu stood by the door, studying your every move. You could see his brain making mental gymnastics to understand your new demeanor with him because you had never treated him like that. So crude, so direct, so painfully detached. But that was what you wanted him to feel — he had made you want that. 

“When I said that I didn’t want us to be a couple I didn’t mean to stop seeing each other. I suggested you start seeing other people and spending a little less time on our own. But you cut ties altogether” It hurt you to see him looking at you with glistened eyes, and even though he tried to hide it, you noticed how his lower lip trembling. That… you didn’t expect that “I love hanging out with you. I love what we had.”

“I don’t get you,” you shook your head when you finally wrapped your head around what he was saying “You were clear when you said that you wanted us to still fuck around but not all the time. And I understood. So, when I finally comply with your wishes, you tell me you loved what we had?”

“I don’t see what you don’t get” he took a step forward, reaching out to brush your fingers with his “I was happy with how things were going, but I just… I needed to make sure we were following the rules”

The contradiction was so clear to you that your head was about to explode. “You were happy but because we were not following one stupid rule, which you considered to be more important than what we had, you had to ruin it”

Mingyu opened his mouth to respond, but you shook your head and prevented him from saying anything else “You clearly have some shit to reflect on, Gyu. I love you and I had a great time with you, but I just cannot keep on doing this if you are worried about what we are rather than how we feel. Have you stopped to think about why we never slept around with other people? Why we were so comfortable with one another, no matter if we had sex or not?” you pressed your hands to his cheeks, taking in how vulnerable he looked. His eyes were fixated on yours, standing still in his place, listening attentively “The rule was there because we decided to create it at a time when we didn’t know where this was heading. It felt natural because we were transforming a friendship into something else… we thought we were going to stop on a middle ground between friendship and a couple's relationship. But by now you and I know we were exclusive, we were around each other all the time — we just were private.”

“I-I…,” Mingyu mumbled slowly reaching to put his hands on yours, still holding his face “I never realised it” The weakness with which he delivered it made your heart twitch. 

“I know. I think, deep down, we were aware of what we were — putting on the label was the scary part. But, Gyu…,” you smiled a little and decided it was best to end the conversation there “We don’t have to do this. You don’t want commitment, and that’s fine” 

“I don’t know what I want” he closed his eyes, slowly taking a breath. 

“Go home and take your time.” 

It felt like a farewell. You were sure he was not ready to commit with you, or any other woman. You loved him, yes, and you were willing to wait for him to decide, no matter how disadvantageous the situation was for you. But you also knew there was someone else waiting for you in 16B.

So you kissed Mingyu, taking his lips with soft care, sighing when he took you by the waist and pressed you against his hard chest. He hugged your lips with his in a desperate attempt to get all he could from this last one, and hopefully remember how you felt for the nights that he was about to spend all alone, wishing to have you by his side.

“Go” you whispered against his lips, taking him by the arms and pushing him away.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N”

• • ┈┈┈┈ ๑ ⋅ ⋯ ୨ ୧ ⋯ ⋅ ๑ ┈┈┈┈ • •

part 1 | you decide... mingyu (2) or wonwoo (3) soon!

please like and reblog!

[genderqueerdykes]

https://www.tumblr.com/transmascsmatter/773428386465972224/immediately-coming-at-a-trans-masc-with-hostility?source=share

JFC they say this person didn't care about trans women as if them saying women didn't INCLUDE trans women

goddamn. i normally don't reblog posts of that nature but i actually went ahead and did so because it's a live example of transmasc erasure & transandrophobia. i am just so sick of people jumping to silence a transmasc or trans man the second they talk about their issues. i am so tired of the instant derailing of posts when it comes to transmasc issues. and it happens so often i feel like i need to just start showing people. like a lot of stuff on this site sucks but i feel like people need to SEE how bad this is getting, and not just listen to my words without proof.

it's really telling when people see the word "women" and still somehow go "BUT WHAT ABOUT TRANS WOMEN???" like yeah. we are included in women. we don't have to specify "trans women" Every Single Time we're talking about women. we are included in that. we are women. no shit. i don't know why people think trans women are so self centered that we have to see the phrase "Trans Women" to know you're including US when you mention women, but we're not like that. like we do not need you to bend over backwards to remind us of how much you want to look like you support us. we know we're included in women. we. are. women. you don't have to specify "trans women" if we are talking about all women. we understand we're a part of that group.

i'm sorry if this ask and the post are a little different than what i normally post but i just want people to see this behavior. i don't want anyone to get harassed. do NOT bother anyone involved in this post. i want to make it very clear that i never want anyone to bug someone whom i am providing criticism. people need to learn from their mistakes in order to grow. but people also have to accept that they are MAKING a mistake, and i hope that i can help some people understand that this behavior genuinely hurts people.

we're participating in transmasculine erasure in real time when we shut up trans men and mascs for the sake of going "BUT WHAT ABOUT TRANS WOMEN?????" the funny thing about that, is you can write your own post. it's free and takes the same amount of effort as typing up a comment on a post that isn't about you. we HAVE to learn to understand when things ARE and AREN'T about us. we have to stop inserting our asses into conversations that they simply just do not belong to. people have to learn to actually get along instead of talking over each other. enough of this behavior. enough.

it is transmasculine erasure when you immediately force a transmasc or trans man to talk about trans women instead. i don't care if you don't agree with me. it's just the truth.

[cripplecharacters]

I write fanfic, and have some concerns about MC's baby. Baby (Hope) was made in lab and has genetic differences. Currently, I consider something like Down Syndrome?

~

Background:

In canon: character mourning his best friend (an alien), and try to clone him. (Alien later later in story come back to life)

My thoughts: When you clone someone, but use DNA from 2 people, it's actually a baby...

Since they are different species, I consider having their child being either triploid (3x chromosomes) or tetraploid (4x).

Which can be genetic issues. And disabilities. I sort of base on Down Syndrome, but also different.

~

Things I thought issues:

1. Should I just have the kid have Down Syndrome? At least it's familiar, and unrepresented. But also DS is only 3rd 21 chromosome, not all chromosoms are 3.

2. Issue about the kid being a baby. Since initialisation is a big problem for ppl w disabilities, DS especially.

3. Dad 1 (the scientist) has a "what have I done" moment. It's before the beby is born, and before her differences are showing, but can be problematic. I try make it clear this is problem bc Dad goes 1) my dead friend didn't agree, 2) i shouldn't make a kid, 3) I'M HAVING A BABY!?!?

4. Also, I don't know if there's problem with "made in lab and different"? (Like it's "punishment", or something about mutations? Idk I'm not from USA nor Christian, but I know people who are has weird issues).

To be clear, both dads love their kid. They call her their light and "our little miracle". Though can also be issue?

Thank you!! I hope it make sense?

Hi!

First, I want to clarify some points from a biology perspective:

Humans are really bad at handling the wrong amount of DNA, and really bad at cross breeding with non-hominids.

A cross-breed between two species with different numbers of chromosomes may or may not be viable (best chance is when the species are closely related), but the hybrid is nearly always sterile.

A haploid (1x) from each parent can make a new human. Most organisms also work this way. But some organisms produce sex cells with multiple copies of the genome--for example melons can be made to have 2x seeds.

Aneuploidy (3x or 4x) is lethal to most species. Some (plant) species are more resistant, but still sterile--a normal 2x melon and a 4x melon produce a seedless 3x melon, for example.

Monosomies and trisomies are not always fatal, as evidenced by Down Syndrome among other chromosome disorders.

If you want to follow biological constraints, I think having Hope be a hybrid is not the best choice.

But you can do whatever you want, and model off of any chromosomal disorder you want, since you're dealing with fantasy biology.

I think the most important/constant aspect of chromosomal disorders is intellectual disability. Hearing and vision loss are also very common.

Infantilization is not so much a worry with an infant character. It's okay to have children in a story. It becomes infantilization if the character is routinely treated as far younger than their age.

I don't think being made in a lab is a problem. Genetic disorders happen, whether chromosomes are combined in a lab or in a body.

And I also think it's normal for your character to have all sorts of emotions about having made a new person. Just like when someone is pregnant. You're clearly showing it as his complex emotions regarding his actions, not disdain for baby Hope.

Mod Rock

[indecisiveavocado]

Warning: This contains images that are distressing. I'm sorry. The world is distressing sometimes.

To be clear:

One of the first photos of Emily Damari we have is of her missing two fingers

They were dressed up like that by Hamas, and the Red Cross did literally nothing to stop this performance.

Once we're playing that game:

These are photographs from Gaza recently.

(All images from the Guardian except the last one, from the Middle East Monitor.)

Given those photos, why can't I say something like

Shouldn't they be starving? Suffering? Hungry? Geez, I thought this was a war, not a party!

By the way, here are some photos from other parts of the world, also recently, I could use if I really wanted to hammer in that point--mind you, it's easy to find photos from Haiti or Yemen or what-have-you also.

Congo:

Sudan:

(This is an X-ray scan of a 20-month-old's brain. That's shrapnel in there.)

Anyway.

You have the fucking chutzpah to say Zionism is an illness? No. Zionism is a reasonable response to people like you, who we all know perfectly well would cheer as I go to the gas chambers and take my things. I need a country I know will accept me, because I can't trust you.

If you had the weapons and were in the right part of the world, you'd be the terrorist.

I wonder how you sleep at night. How can you consider yourself moral? How can you be anything?

I'd say whatever antisemitic cult you've fallen into is an illness, but no; you don't choose to get ill. It's a monstrous ideology, and it boggles my mind how anyone can consider themselves to be Right and Just when it consists of glorifying murder and torture of the Wrong People.

You say your posts are fact checked.

I have to believe you are either a liar or fucking insane.

I love how you say you don't look at any sources that debunk your claims. (That was yesterday.)

Or how you tell Jews pointing out, validly, that there is plenty of aid coming into Gaza, it's foolish to expect for a Jew to be safe there and that Hamas takes a fair amount of aid to kill themselves. You call Zionists fascists and tell us to kill ourselves.

You tell something like 95 PERCENT of American Jews to kill ourselves. You refuse to engage with other views, refuse to engage with anything.

Your antisemitic death cult is grotesque and disgusting and I am ashamed to live on the same planet as you.

Judaism doesn't normally have a hell. And usually I'm glad. I'm glad my religion doesn't think people need eternal damnation to be good. I'm glad I don't need to worry about that.

But some days...

Anyway.

You are what you claim to despise.

And I don't hope you die.

No.

I hope you suffer precisely what Emily Damari suffered, since, according to you, it won't be so bad.

I hope you suffer what Pongsak Thenna suffered, and Amit Sousanna, and Shiri Bibas, and Kfir Bibas, and all of the other ones.

When Hamas return hostages they look fine.

Whe israel returns hostages they need extensive health care or burial. Israel has sent trucks of bodies, hundreds of deceased "prisoners" back to Gaza with no explanation.

Israel is a terrorist occupation. Zionism is an illness.