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jinmindeulle · 11 months ago

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make it work | byun baekhyun

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 idol!baekhyun x nonidol!reader

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 1.6 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst, romance | jealousy, argument, happy ending

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angsty?, fluffy

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 none

requested by a lovely butterfly anon 🦋 thank you so much for your request and sorry for the long wait!

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚

I have to be happy for him, I have to be happy for him, I have to be happy for him…

No matter how many times I repeated that sentence in my mind, it was still hard to actually feel that way. Although I prided myself in not being a jealous person, seeing him surrounded by the prettiest dancers in the industry was taking a toll on my own confidence.

Because I was not an idol like Baekhyun, it was difficult to cope with the pressure that dating one brought. Life as a simple office worker had minor complications in comparison to his highly exposed job, but I had never doubted about being with him ever since I met him. The way he had always treated me like he was just a man in love with a woman reassured me every time.

Our outings were limited. His schedule was different every day, and I had to adjust. It never mattered to me, though. Being with him for a short time was much more precious than what any other guy could have offered.

However, after a year and a half of relationship, I was starting to long for something more than just seeing him at night and sleeping wrapped up in his arms. I needed the dates, the mornings, the family reunions, and the sense that we were building something together.

And now, seeing his brand new comeback stage, smiling at his female dancers and moving along with their body rolls like he couldn’t stop himself from wanting them, I had had enough. How was it that they got to have him more than I did? Why didn’t he choose to date one of them instead? They were far more gorgeous than I could ever be!

Just as I blocked my phone and threw it out of sight, a very tired Baekhyun opened the bedroom door, placing his bag on the floor.

“Hey, love” His unanswered greeting made him frown, and with a sigh, he approached me from his side of the bed “What’s wrong, babe?”

“Had fun with your dancers?”

The confusion in his eyes was evident even for me, but I just could not care less at that point. He had to know why I was upset.

“What do you mean?”

“You seemed pretty happy in your stage today”

“I was” he nodded, still not getting the point “So what?”

“I guess you liked being with your dancers”

Realization hit him like a truck, but he just sat there, frozen in his spot. I had to look at him to make sure he was still awake because his stillness was starting to bother me.

“I can’t believe you’re jealous”

One thing was to admit it to myself, but hearing it coming from Baekhyun was more embarrassing than I thought. Despite this, I was still mad and hurt. My feelings were real, and something had triggered them. He had triggered them.

“They are doing their job. I am doing my job” he turned to face me, surprise written all over his features, and I could not hold my tears any longer. He didn’t understand. He was too focused on his work to even notice how badly I was longing for him.

“I no longer feel you want me, Baekhyun” I mumbled, not caring about the tears that endlessly ran down my cheeks. He had to see my pain.

“That’s nonsense, y/n” he tried to hug me, but I didn’t let him. I couldn’t just allow him to embrace me and settle with it. Knowing myself, I was going to accept whatever lame excuse he gave if I was being held by his strong arms. “Please, let’s not argue this late”

“And when do you want to argue, then?” Standing up, I looked at him dead in the eye “When do you have time to even argue with me? You are too busy to realize how dead our relationship is, Baekhyun”

“You really think that’s where we are standing?” his hands gripped his hair, taking it out of his face in the process.

“Yes”

He prompted himself up off the bed and made his way around it to stand in front of me. “I have little saying on how much I work, or with whom I work. I wish it was easier, love. I wish I could be with you every waking hour, every day for the rest of our lives-”

“But there’s nothing you can or will do about it” I interrupted him, knowing that his saying it would wound me ten times more than admitting it myself.

“That’s how it is, at least for now” he nodded, interlacing his fingers with mine in an attempt to gain me back.

“You do realize that you spend more time with your dancers than you do with me?” I left his fingers gripping the air as I stepped back to retrieve my pillow.

“So all of this is just because you’re jealous” he gave a bitter laugh and followed me with his eyes.

“Read it as you like, Baekhyun.” As I was about to open the door of our room, he stopped me, screaming my name.

“You don’t have to be jealous. I love you and only you. I am sorry that you feel this way about us, but I really do not see how to make it better when the company presses me to do more and more each day.”

Although his struggles were to be expected, my own were too overwhelming and tangible to not let them cloud my judgment. I was upset. It felt like I was about to lose him — and that made my heart ache with grief as if had already happened.

“That is not what I wanted to hear from you. At least not the last part”

“What do you want me to say then, huh?” When his tone rose, I knew I had to leave the room. He had become angry at me, and it was evident that we were getting nowhere that night.

“Sleep on it”

Even though my back was never a problem for me, sleeping on the couch was starting to challenge that. No one had ever used it for those purposes, and being the first one to do it settled that it was not made for more than just sitting there for a couple of hours. Yawning my way out of the silky covers, I opened my eyes to see Baekhyun, sitting on the single sofa chair right next to where my feet had rested during the night. He was fast asleep, his head resting on his hand, elbow pressed onto the chair’s armrest.

With a quick glance at the clock, I stood up and shook him awake “You’re late”

“Called in sick” he yawned, slowly opening his eyes.

“Are you?” I raised an eyebrow, reaching out to touch his forehead.

“No” Taking my hand from his forehead to his cheek, he looked up from his seating position and kissed the back of my hand “Can we talk now?”

The emotions that had dissipated overnight reappeared, making my eyes fill with tears once again. I nodded. Baekhyun took my wrist and pushed me to sit on his lap, his arms around my waist as he slowly caressed my exposed skin with his thumbs.

“I am truly sorry about yesterday, and all of the days I made you feel less important than you are. Truth is, it was the first time you showed jealousy and I didn’t know how to handle it. I just thought your emotions were leading your words and you were saying things to hurt my feelings as well. But I slept on it and…” A small laugh escaped my lips and I nodded to let him go on “and I saw where you were coming from.”

“We never see each other, Baek” I cried, emotions taking over once more.

“I was so focused on my work that it was enough having you waiting for me in bed every night. I am so sorry, my darling” Taking his hands from my hips to my cheeks, he wiped away the tears that kept rolling down “I am making some adjustments in my schedule and will make sure to spend more time with you every day of the week. I don’t care what the agency has to say about it. I am famous enough to set some boundaries without them dropping me from the label.”

“They need you more than you need them, baby” I giggled, feeling the contentedness filling my heart, once and for all.

“You’re right” he smiled, cupping my face with his hands. “I love you”

“I love you”

His lips met mine in what felt like years. We had not shared a meaningful kiss for a very long time, so I let myself enjoy it with every fiber of my being.

Pecking my lips in between each word, he announced “I will take you on a date today”

“And what if they see us?” I frowned, combing his hair with my fingers. Oh my, how nice it felt to have him all for myself after such a long time. “You won’t look very sick if we’re out eating and goofing around. Your fans… I don’t know how they would react knowing you didn’t do your interviews but are kissing me instead”

“Are our disguises still in the closet?” he asked, making me chuckle. He truly thought he could fool them with those outfits.

“You mean our trench coats, masks, and stylish beanies?”

“I prefer to call them disguises” he giggled, attacking my face with wet kisses.

If life with Baekhyun was going to look like this for the rest of our lives, I couldn’t wait.

#exo #exo baekhyun #baekhyun #exo x reader #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun x you #baekhyun x y/n #baekhyun fanfic #exo fanfic #baekhyun angst #exo scenarios #exo writing #fanfiction #kpop fanfic #kpop imagine #exo writer

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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thank you so much for the tag!!! 🥰

EXO Writers Masterlist [updated: 28/10/2023]

Hello! Here I present you the list of all active EXO writers I managed to find.

In the case you know of someone I didn't add (or even if you're writer yourself!) feel free to add yourself in the comments/reblog section or send me a message.

In the case you notice some writers are no longer active/don't write for EXO, please also let me know!

The list will be updated regularly!

@andimoon

@anyamaris

@an-annyeoing-writer (haha... hi)

@baeklination

@bobohu4eva

@byunified

@chanyeolsbiggestfangirl

@chogiwass

@cyberexo

@dreamylittlesugarcube

@exoo

~ none yet ~

@gyudior

@hyuniebaby

@icequeenbae

@irregular-idol-imagines

@its-not-sof

@itstheoneshot

@jinmindeulle

@jongbross

@justwritedreams

@kjmcotton

@kokobopam

@kpopimaginings

@kpoptrashlord-007

@kyoongboxi

@kyungseokie

@lunaflowers

@mint-yooxgi

@mgg-81

@mybiasisexo

@neokittyy

@noona-clock

~ none yet ~

@paintingwhiteceilings

@papermatisse

@peachesvanilla

~ none yet ~

@scarlet-sky4

@soobadnoonecanstopher

@sooibian

@spacequokka

@starillusion13

@synthetickitsune

~ none yet ~

@vampwrrr

@whimsical-ness

@xiubaek-13

@xotaemintol

@xui-n-soowillbethedeathofme

@yankpop

@yeolsaintlaurent

~ none yet ~

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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twenty one petals | do kyungsoo

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 commoner!do kyungsoo x princess!reader

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 8.2 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst, romance | love at first sight, forbidden love

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angsty, fluffy

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 none

requested by @kyungseokie, thank you again! hope it's what you were looking for 🥰

Twenty-one had always represented more than just a number to y/n.

She could finally obtain her freedom to go out of the Palace with only one guard, have her friends over more often, begin her self-defense classes, and learn more about the women she admired the most. Of course, y/n had always had history lessons for it was of utmost importance for a royal like her to be knowledgeable of her roots and ancestry. However, there was one particular Queen whom she had the most curiosity about. No teacher had dared to tell the story of Jeon Mindae, a royal who had vanished after eleven years of rule, and no one ever talked about what had happened to her.

As much as she was joyous about all those new possibilities, y/n was also terrified. Turning twenty-one had also meant that she was of age to finally get married, and the King was well aware of that. Her sister, barely a year older than her, had been married two months after her twenty-first birthday. Consequently, y/n was not expecting any other future for herself.

A week after her celebration, y/n found herself looking out of the window of her chambers, wondering how life went about for people whom she probably would never see ever again. She liked to contemplate all those various faces and create whole identities and characters, imagining stories, often romantic, for each person that called her attention.

Y/n envied them sometimes. Their lives could be different, more challenging, and less privileged, but at least they had certain freedoms to enjoy, even if they did not realize it. They could go out and about whenever, wherever, and with whoever they liked, they could lead an independent life, and above all, they could marry the person they loved. Those aspects of life were what y/n yearned the most, and ironically, was deprived of them. Her only alternative was her newly gained escapades. And she desperately needed to go out.

Even though she had been able to leave the Palace for a couple of hours already, the guard who accompanied her was pretty annoying and watched her every step. He made sure people knew who she was and made her feel out of place, which was the opposite of what she had wanted. So, this time, she had asked the King to send another guard with her.

“Sir Sehun must accompany me this time, Your Highness”

“Why is that so, Princess?”

“I do not intend for people to recognize me when I leave the Palace. Sir Taehun was not fit for that role”

“For I trust Sir Sehun, I will assign him this duty. Await him by the gates”

“Thank you, Your Highness”

The woman could not help but smirk as she made her way out of the Crown room. Sehun was a dear friend of hers and she knew he was both, laidback and protective. She was the safest and most confident under his care.

Y/n had to laugh when, after some minutes of impatient little walks around the gates, Sir Sehun approached her with his thick right eyebrow raised “Ma’am, may I ask why I was requested as your guard?”

“Well, Sir Sehun,” she interlaced her left arm with the soldier’s right one as he was offering, and began their walk out of the Palace “Taehun is a prick” she let out once they were out of sight, and a good distance from the nosy masses of the royal community.

“Nothing new. You just want me to let you live, then” he dropped off the formalities, as they usually did when together and in private — or at least away from those who could not live a life as anything else than aristocrats.

“You know me so well”

The walk to the Cherry Blossom Market was quiet but pleasant. They both liked the silence and tranquility that the forest offered, and it was well known between them that it had to be savored each time, as opportunities like those were usually scarce. Upon reaching the first stalls, y/n sent a smile in Sehun’s way. That was her call for him to just let her go around but always under his careful watch, as she had promised.

The beauty that y/n found there, she was sure could not be found anywhere else. Just the sight of people all dressed up in colorful yet comfortable ropes, some simple, some fancy, brought a new wave of giddiness to her body. The thought of being able to walk with them, passing as one more of the commoners, was what made her the most thrilled. She could pretend, just for a couple of hours, that she was one of the people she usually fantasized about through the glass of her window.

A pair of the prettiest shoes caught her attention, and she had to stop to just admire them. Soft peachy colored silk embraced the pair, both adorned with delicate pink cherry blossom petals on each side. Sadly, she could not have them. The guards would snap them away from her the minute she went inside for the check-up. Commoner things stay with commoners.

A light breeze took her out of her thoughts, and as she placed the shoes back where they belonged with a small bow to the stall owner, her eyes met a wooden bridge, which went over a quiet river. Cherry blossoms surrounded the area, their petals dancing their way to the ground, mimicking a snowy afternoon. After taking a look back to Sehun, who was well aware of her movements, she enthusiastically skipped to the beginning of the bridge, feeling the glee that the soft petals caressing her cheeks provided her with.

The walk to the viaduct was calmer, yet never less eager. The middle of the bridge had a smaller number of people, so y/n decided that that was the right spot to rest a little and contemplate the delicateness of the running water, and how the pink petals bathed in it as if tired of hanging from a tree.

Although her hood was bothering her sightseeing, she knew people would recognize her out of paintings and written records, so she had the need to hide her face as much as she could. The risk was high enough with her hood up.

Noticing how someone stopped right beside her and leaned their forearms on the railing, she took her gaze away from the river and to her other side, pretending to observe the cherry blossoms dancing to the rhythm of the wind. When the woman was about to walk away, she heard the person speak.

“Is it not incredible that there are over a hundred varieties of cherry blossom trees?”

The deepness and smoothness of the voice that she now knew belonged to a man, had her stood still in her place. A shiver ran down her spine and she felt how her cheeks imitated the color of the most intense pink petals.

“It certainly is,” she replied, clearing her throat, still giving her back to the stranger. Though she was aware of the hazard that that man could represent, she physically could not move from her spot. It was as if the man’s voice had put a spell on her.

“Are these your favorite?” he asked, and y/n could not help but crack a smile.

“Fortunately, they are”

Her body was moving without her taking notice, and suddenly she was no longer facing the trees but the very man who had interrupted her alone time, away from royalties, away from turmoil. And the sight in front of y/n had her sigh.

A round face, giving him a youthful and friendly appearance, was complemented by brown almond-shaped eyes, which seemed captivating, warm, and inviting. His well-defined, thick eyebrows framed his eyes and added character to his face. The man sported a small, button-like nose that went well with his soft jawline. Though she tried to avoid looking at his lips, it had become an impossible task. Plump, well-defined, heart-shaped. Flawless. She last noticed that his dark brown hair was up in a topknot, all secured by a simple linen headband.

“Have you ever seen the Shirotae variety?” when his eyes met hers, y/n felt what she could only associate with what her romantic novels described as love at first sight. If it existed or not, she couldn't care less. For her, a man like him talking about her favorite tree and flower, looking at her in what seemed to be undivided attention and care, had to be hard to find — and that had her over the moon in just a couple of seconds.

“I have never left the Kingdom” she admitted, finally able to unglue her eyes from his. Overly conscious, she looked down at her feet, hiding her face as much as possible with the gray hood.

“Hwanggeum is known for having them all, though it is true that the Shirotaes are well beyond our borders. Are you from here, Agassi?”

It was the first time that someone had addressed her as a commoner, and rather than displeasing her, it encouraged her to keep talking to the man. He had not recognized her after all.

“I am, Seonsaengnim”

“So you are well acquainted with the Pink Shell” his faint smile had her melting right on the spot, but she somehow managed to conceal it.

“It might also be the reason why they are my favorite. Though I have read about the other varieties, I have not had the chance to see them in person yet”

“Would you like to?”

If it meant that he could take her away and hold her hand for the rest of the afternoon, she would have yelled ‘Please!’. However, the sight of Sehun waiting for her by the end of the bridge, right behind the enticing man, had her come to her senses “I am afraid my father is not very keen on me going out often, especially out of the city”

“That was not my question, Agassi. Would you like to?”

“I would love to,” she nodded, and with all her might, bowed to say goodbye “It was pleasant to converse with you, Seonsaengnim. Have a good rest of your afternoon”

Walking past him, she tried to reach her guard friend as fast as possible. Her efforts, no matter how big, were cut short by a hand around her unclothed wrist. The warmth he transmitted was able to soothe her uncontrollable heart, just a little bit, for his hand over her skin, was not something her heart was expecting to feel.

“I still do not know your name” he recited, not letting go. “I am Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo”

“Pardon me Seonsaengnim, but I am not allowed to disclose my name”

As if he sensed that that was all he was getting from her, the man she now knew to be named Do Kyungsoo let her hand go, and she was finally able to walk towards her guard. “Let’s go” she murmured over her breath, not stopping on her way back home. Sehun rapidly followed, not wanting to discuss what he had witnessed.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Do Kyungsoo stayed on her mind for the following two days, as if he had nowhere else to be. It was surprising how she could not just shoo him away. No matter how many classes she took, how many conversations she had or the piles of books she read, the man with warm eyes and plump lips would always come back. She was aware of the fact that the King would announce her inescapable marriage in the upcoming weeks, hopefully, months, and having met him, she did not want that day to come any time soon.

Three days had passed, and y/n could no longer bear it. She had to see Kyungsoo again, at least one last time.

“Indeed, Sir Sehun is available for you. Where are you heading to?” the King asked, and y/n raised her head.

“To the Cherry Blossom Market, Your Highness”

“Again?” With his eyebrows raised, he observed her every movement.

“I am truly in love with the cherry blossom trees, and these are the last days of their bloom. I yearn to admire them as long as I can”

A nod was the only permission she needed to perform a deep bow and leave the Crown room, looking for Sehun with her eyes. She spotted the guard standing next to the room’s entrance, already informed of his next duties. There was no need to say anything.

With her cloak on and hood already up, silence remained untouchable until they surpassed the main gates of the Palace. The discretion she continuously made sure to have had become sacred at that point. No one except Sehun could know about Do Kyungsoo.

“Are you sure he is going to be there?”

“I am not, but this is the only way I can find out” she sighed, letting him walk by her side.

“Why do you want to see him again?” he asked.

“Honestly, Sehun, I do not know,” the woman admitted “He has not left my mind ever since we met. The only certainty I have is that my heart is longing for him.”

“Do you like him?”

“It is hard to say. I have never felt this way, so I cannot compare it to anything other than what I read romantic in my novels”

“Not a great source, may I say” Sehun giggled, looking at her with small eyes.

“I am sorry, Sir all-the-girls-love-me” her laugh synced with his, heading the conversation in a more relaxed direction.

“Not only girls love me!”

Though tranquility had embraced her as they walked their way through the forest, the sight of the first market stalls made her heart race once again. He could be anywhere, but he was surely closer than before.

When she felt Sehun squeeze her shoulder, she looked his way to find a comforting smile. She nodded. Words were not necessary between them.

Calculated but unconscious steps led her to the bridge where their heartwarming exchange had taken place. The trees were still there, now calmer than before. Petals were still falling, but their dance was more controlled and stable. The bridge itself had fewer people, and she thought that the stillness of the water could not be attractive enough for the masses. It was for her.

A deep breath was all she had to do to muster the courage and find the place where Kyungsoo had approached her. All she had to do was wait. But oh my! It was a true challenge. As she hummed a song that her sister had sung to her while she was little, y/n closed her eyes and let her mind wander around dangerous paths. His cute smile had popped up once again, and it was impossible for her not to smile back. The effect he had had on her in only a matter of minutes was incomprehensible.

“Is it me that you are waiting for, Agassi?”

The feeling that her heart was about to jump out of her chest came back upon hearing his honeyed voice once again. Nothing could have prepared y/n for that moment, regardless of how many times she had imagined it.

“Yes,” she whispered, turning to him with rosy cheeks. Because she had expected to see his gentle smile, the seriousness of his expression took her aback “Oh… Is there something wrong, Seongsaengnim?”

“I now know why you did not want me to know your name, Your Grace”

Her surprise could not be veiled. How had that happened? Was she not careful enough? She would not have come back if she noticed any trace of recognition in his eyes. She could not risk her outings like that.

“You are mistaking me for someone else” Her voice faltered, but her forehead was still up.

“I am not. You are Princess Y/n, daughter of King Younghee and sister of the future Queen, Princess Hara. I apologize for the boldness with which I addressed you the other day, Your Grace. It was only after our encounter that I realized who you were”

So that settled it. Her outings were over, her freedom was over. Seeing him was also over. She understood that good things only lasted for a short period, but she did not see the end coming so fast.

“Why are you here?” y/n had to know at least that. Was he back to solely ask for forgiveness?

“I had wanted to see you again, Your Grace. I came back here the day following our meeting, but you were not here. That same evening, I traveled to the Grand Market to buy more merchandise to sell at the Market, and I saw the big portrait of your family at the entrance. How could I not know who you were?” the calmness with which he uttered his sentences had y/n in a trance. His eyes had not left hers, as if he had rehearsed for that exact instant together. “After learning about your true identity, I knew I had to stop myself from expecting this encounter to happen again”

“But it happened” she murmured, feeling her chest expanding with a deep breath.

“I genuinely tried, Your Grace” he shook his head, still not moving an inch from his spot “But it proved to be impossible.”

The silence that followed his statements permitted the woman to process her sentiments, one by one. There was nervousness. Uncertainty. Fear. But there was also expectancy. Excitement. Bliss.

“We are not supposed to do this” he continued “A commoner can only dream of meeting a royal and give her the life she deserves. I know I am not able to do so. However, I am here. And you are here too, Your Grace”

“I needed to see you again,” she admitted, taking her hood away from her view. She had to see him in all his plenitude because it had to be the last time “only one more time. My mind was playing tricks and my duties could not be fulfilled if I had you in my head every hour”.

“I understand,” Kyungsoo nodded, and for the first time that afternoon, his fingers touched hers. Her lifetime seemed to pass right in front of her eyes as the caress of his warm skin against hers filled her senses. It was overwhelming, yet y/n wanted more. “I want you to have this. We cannot interact in person anymore, but I consider letters to be a very effective way to communicate. If that is what you want, Your Grace”

The eager nod she gave him made Kyungsoo show the first smile of the afternoon. His relief could be sensed, and that also gave her the reaffirmation she had been desperate for. With a discrete hand movement, she took the folded piece of paper, keeping it inside her cloak’s pocket.

“I also know you will get married in the near future” his forehead furrowed, and y/n felt how her eyes welled up. That was a topic she was not ready to face, especially with him “Although that makes it even more dangerous and unfeasible, I am still willing to do this. Are you, Your Grace?”

Not following her heart was not an option. She would allow herself to be selfish this time.

“I am”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Your Royal Highness,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. I write to you with the utmost humility and respect, fully aware of the immeasurable distance that separates your world from mine.

Since the moment I first had the privilege of glimpsing your radiant presence from afar, my heart has embarked on a journey it had never before known. It is a journey filled with profound admiration, deep respect, and, dare I say, love that transcends all boundaries.

I am but a humble commoner, a mere speck in the grand tapestry of your Father’s noble kingdom. Yet, as I go about my daily toils, I find myself endlessly enchanted by thoughts of you. Your delicateness, your kindness, your voice—all of these qualities have illuminated my every waking moment from the second you answered my inquiry.

Please understand that I harbor no illusions of grandeur, nor do I seek to intrude on your world. My affection is a silent and solitary affair, a secret held close to my heart, and now to yours. It is a love that has to remain unspoken, for I am painfully aware that my place in society precludes any dreams of an impossible union.

I am content to serve my kingdom, my family, and my fellow commoners with all the devotion and diligence I can muster. In doing so, I hope to honor the same virtues that have earned you the admiration and adoration of all who have had the privilege of knowing you.

May your days be filled with happiness and prosperity.

With the utmost reverence and eternal devotion,

DKS.

His neat calligraphy imprinted in liquid ink had perfectly accompanied what he had expressed in that letter. Kyungsoo’s well-thought-out words had her heart leap in excitement and yearning. The man had probably spent an afternoon ardently writing, employing careful words and admiring sentences.

In return, she had to let him know what he had done to her as well. The impossibility of their reunion could not make their days heavy with misery.

My Dear Kyungsoo,

I wish nothing but good health and spirits for you in return. Your words have touched my heart, and I am deeply moved by the sincerity and humility with which you express your feelings.

Your admiration and respect have not gone unnoticed. I am grateful for your kind words and the sentiments you have shared with me. It is rare to encounter such genuine devotion and honor in this world, and your letter has brought warmth to my heart.

I must confess that your unwavering dedication to our kingdom and your fellow commoners resonates deeply with me. Your commitment to serving our people is a testament to the qualities that make our realm strong and resilient.

It is with a heavy heart that I must acknowledge the realities of our respective stations in life. The traditions and responsibilities that come with my position demand a life of duty and sacrifice, which I am still unable to come to terms with. Your affection is a gift I shall cherish in my heart, but I also have to understand the limitations that bind us.

I encourage you to continue your path with the same steadfast determination and honor that you have shown thus far. Your devotion to our kingdom is a treasure, and I have no doubt that your contributions will be felt and appreciated by many.

Please know that I hold your words and your spirit in high regard.

With the deepest respect and warm regards,

y/n.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Weeks had passed, and letters had come and gone. What had first started as a timid and knowingly-impossible romance, was now a tragedy that only found its way to the surface through words of passion, endeavor, and selflessness.

The only one who knew about their exchange was Sehun. Since he was made responsible for her outings, no matter where they were, he had soon suggested delivering the letters back and forth, as he had understood how hazardous their short encounters could be. Seeing each other from afar from time to time was not enough, but was the only thing they could do for their growing affection.

When she did not go with Sehun, their letter exchange was not done over the bridge. The men had made up a system unknown to y/n, but extremely effective in turn. Despite knowing how she was putting herself at risk each time she hid her letter in Sehun’s sleeve, she trusted her guard. Because receiving Kyungsoo’s letter was the only time of the week she felt purposefully happy, she neither wanted to nor would stop.

But alas, as she had learned, everything came to an end. However, that was not the way she had wanted it to happen.

“Kyungsoo was not there this morning” Sehun’s forehead creased, worrisome written all over his face.

“What?” she had to stop herself from actually yelling, and shielded her mouth with one of her hands “Not any trace?”

“None”

“He has never done this”

A knock on her chamber’s door startled both of them, and Sehun had to take a step back to allow her to reach the hatch next to him. She looked at him, puzzled, and with a deep breath opened the door.

“Your Grace, Your Highness is requesting your presence in the Crown room”

“Is it urgent?”

“It is, Your Grace”

Thanking the maid, y/n closed the door behind her and hugged Sehun “I have a bad feeling about this”

Call it third eye, intuition, or merely understanding. The woman had not failed to see what was coming.

“You are to get married next week, y/n. Everything has been settled, and I am glad to announce that your future husband is the best prospect I could find for you. You will meet him in three days when he comes to formally propose to you.”

When she squeezed her eyes shut, the tears that had shimmered them traveled down her pale cheeks. Y/n could only see Kyungsoo reciting his letters to her in his mellowed voice, promising her to find a way to be together, not caring about social boundaries anymore. She only wanted to hear his whispers, to feel his tender touch, and to experience what would be like to have his inviting lips caress her own.

But now, the King was taking that away from her. The possibility they had built through their letters had to remain impossible.

“Why are you doing this to me, Dad?”

It was the first time in years that y/n had called the King dad. She had felt that he no longer deserved that title, no matter how painful it was to lack that figure in her life. After her mother’s passing, he changed. His anguish for his loss had duplicated hers and Hara’s. He had forgotten that he had two daughters who had lost a mother and had only started to care for his heartbreak.

“You are more naive than I wished you were.” he declared, unmoved by her emotions “I could have waited some weeks, some months even. But your recent behavior was proof enough that you need someone to discipline you”

“What are you talking about?” a mess already, y/n felt how her future with Kyungsoo vanished little by little. The love they had both developed over months through words and glances from afar was coming to an end, and there was nothing she could do to prevent it from happening.

“Twenty-one is the prime of your life, and albeit you are not becoming Queen, you have duties to fulfill. Disregarding that, you have been frequently meeting a commoner, y/n. Please, do not tell me that that is not accurate, because I have eyes all over my kingdom. The greatest way to get you back on track is to give your hand in marriage to someone who is well-versed in our world, and knows how to treat you”

“As a trophy? As garbage? As a scum?”

“Has your sister protested like you are? How do you know you will be treated badly if you have not crossed glances with him?” his harsh tone would not scare her away.

“I do not have to do that to understand that he will make my life miserable. The one person who is able to make me happy is not him” Rage was getting into her quite rapidly. She had to fight for what she wanted. But how?

“The one person you are so sure about making you happy is no longer available. I am sorry, daughter, but this is your life.”

“What have you done to him?!”

“Return to your chambers, y/n. That was all I had to say”

“Dad?! What have you done to him?!”

The sorrow was unmeasurable. She had put Kyungsoo at risk, she had made him suffer the consequences of loving her. She had selfishly walked him to a dark place, which she did not even know what it looked like. Where was he? Was he even alive?

The pressure that was building in her chest was somewhat relieved when Sehun went inside her room, with no knocking in between. He was the only one she had allowed to do that in case of an emergency. And God knows she was in need of what Sehun could provide to her, be it a hug or simple reassurance words. But luck was on her side — if one could say that after what she was about to go through — and he was there with more than just that.

“I know what happened” Taking her hands into his, he began to share the information he was able to gather “Taehun has been following us, and he was the one who told your father about Kyungsoo”

“That bastard!” y/n’s eyes flooded with tears as she squeezed Sehun’s hands harder.

“I have never liked him, but that just crossed the line” he admitted “The King sent his soldiers to capture Kyungsoo, and now they got him in the dungeons” “Oh my Goodness” the fear multiplied, and the sudden relief she had felt upon seeing her best friend disappeared to make room for that familiar pressure, this time coming back twice as bad.

“I have a plan” he nodded, placing his big hands on her shoulders “Jaemin is watching over him during the night shift… and he owes me”

Y/n could do nothing else than cry on his shoulder and thank him over and over again. She truly did not know what she would do without her loyal guard, without her Sehun.

—

With her fingers tightly gripping her dress sleeves, the princess followed the guard down the spooky stairs of the dungeons. Though not too far away from the Palace, they had to ride a horse to make it quicker — and she was not a fan of horses. However, this time, she did not really care. Kyungsoo was her only priority.

“Why is this so smelly?” she whispered, coughing when the damp odor reached her nostrils.

“Do you think they would bother to clean this?”

“Too busy standing next to the King, I guess.”

Just when the flight of stairs started to appear endless, y/n saw light coming from one of the corners, and she could finally breathe “He’s here, right?”

But the woman did not have to wait for Sehun’s response, because he was right there. Sitting with his back resting on one of the rusty cell bars, Kyungsoo looked drained. His face was pale and smeared with dirt and sweat. His clothes were ragged and mucky. Because his eyes were closed, she could only guess — and hope — that he was sleeping.

“Stay back. I’ll talk to Jaemin first”

As Sehun walked towards the light, she could sense how the movement around him was slowly waking him up from his slumber. His eyes had lightened up when he recognized her best friend and a sense of easiness travelled down through y/n’s spine.

“Come, y/n”

If Kyungsoo’s eyes had lightened up when he saw Sehun, the instant his gaze met hers he appeared to hold the stars and the moon altogether in his orbs. “You are here”

No time was wasted when the master key let him out of the cell. They embraced each other for the first time, and the relief that they both felt upon finally having their love in their arms was indescribable. Letters were incredible, but they lacked contact, they lacked tangible affection.

“I am so sorry” she cried, taking in the feeling of his arms around her waist, and how his left hand caressed the back of her head with soft strokes.

“None of this is your fault, my love” he whispered, and being able to hear his sweet voice calling her that endearment sent her heart jumping out of her ribcage “We were aware of the risks. And I am still delighted with the decision we made”

“How?”

“Because I get to have you in my arms now” he let her go, only to place his hands on her cheeks, looking into her eyes as if they held the universe. “We will be fine”

“Why are you so confident about that?” y/n could not help but be hesitant about everything around her now. She had only questions in her mind, no clear answers in sight.

“Because” he brushed her lower lip with his thumb, his eyes traveling down with it, and back to her orbs “what we have is not easily broken. They can try, but we fight back. And if it is not now, it will be then. We will be together, my love. Trust me”

And with that promise, Kyungsoo pressed his lips onto hers and sealed the deal. The initial surprise had her frozen, trying to figure out what was actually happening. But when everything was clear, y/n closed her eyes and let him in. His passionate way of kissing her was more telling of his love for her than any of his letters were, and that was a lot to say. He was an excellent writer. But when it came to kissing…

Their romantic moment was cut short when Sehun fake coughed in an attempt to get their attention. When their lips were mere centimeters away from each other, he was quick to intervene “I am really sorry to interrupt your… moment, but she cannot stay much longer”

“What do you mean stay?” the woman looked at her best friend, baffled by his statement “Is he not coming with us?”

It may have been a dumb question, but she did not see how they could not just let him go, at least to hide somewhere far away.

“That would be an overly bad idea” Kyungsoo uttered, interlacing his fingers with hers “That would get everyone killed. Me, Sehun, the other guard. We cannot risk it” he shook his head, and rapidly let her hands go to brush the tears running down her cheeks “We will find another way, my love”

“But…” she sobbed, suddenly feeling like a little kid in his arms “I do not want you to die, my darling”

“I am not dying anytime soon. I have to become your prince first” he giggled, and that sent the butterflies in her stomach on a wild flight.

“Guys…”

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo apologized and pressed a kiss on her forehead “Go back to your chambers and wait for Sehun to tell you what to do next. Whether the plan takes a week, two months, or three years… we cannot know for sure. The only thing I know for a fact is that we are meeting again, and we will have our happily ever after. I promise you, my love”

y/n would recite those exact words for the following two years, be it aloud or in her mind. Kyungsoo’s vow was not to leave her soul anytime soon, and she decided to use it as a way to have him close to her heart every day.

She had had to get married. She had had to share a room with someone she did not love. She had played the trophy wife role for too long for her liking. But Sehun had continuously reassured her that the plan was going smoothly, and if everything happened according to it, she would meet Kyungsoo in a short time.

“Hajoon wants me to become pregnant” she confessed, a halo of panic in her eyes “I cannot deal with this anymore” Her cheeks, very familiar with her tears by that point, wetted the beginning of her bluey sweetheart bodice.

“When are you heading to the tour around Hwanggeum?”

“In three days”

“Hold on for a week. We are getting there”

Do you know that feeling of time slowing down when what you only need is the wait to be over? That was what y/n was experiencing ever since she left Kyungsoo in that horrid dungeon, hoping that seeing him again would be a matter of days. Her heart was hopeful, but her mind was not so much so. She knew that rushing into what your feelings dictate never brings good results, but the urgency had become tangible as the months went by.

He was in the back of her mind most of her days, but very much present when her husband pressed kisses on her forehead, and occasionally on her lips. Despite not liking him much, she had to admit that Hajoon was clearly not the worst. He had respected her boundaries and only touched her when she let him. She was suspiciously sure that he had a lover way before they had gotten married, and that was a strange relief for the woman. However…

“I truly wish things were different, y/n… but we have to produce an heir soon”

“It sounded like you really want that” she sarcastically replied.

“Your Father…”

“Of course” she nodded, putting her hairbrush away to look at him “I will tell him we are trying. A child is not part of my plans right now”

The only person in her plans was Kyungsoo, and the wait was becoming heavier on her. In order to relieve stress, she took the first book she could get from the history section of the library and headed out to the gardens. It was nice to just feel the breeze clash with her rosy cheeks, and just let it calm her nerves down. The copy she had blindly chosen was one she had never seen in the years and years she frequented the library, and that encouraged her to go through the yellowed pages before choosing a story. Y/n had to stop on page one hundred and thirty-six, one with its edge slightly folded. There, a sketched portrait of an elegant woman caught her attention. Her stern look was emphasized by a set of well-defined curls that framed her clear face, big eyes, and slim nose. Her lips were pressed in a soft line as if they had been like that for a long time.

Jeon Mindae.

The one and only secret that the royals were good at hiding, but could only conceal for so long. She had noticed how even after turning twenty-one, no one was mentioning her, not even to highlight the great advances that had happened during her short reign. But now, she was about to discover the truth.

In the annals of Hwanggeum's rich history, there exists a chapter of intrigue, love, and profound change that transcends the centuries. This is the tale of Queen Jeon Mindae, whose reign is forever etched in the hearts and minds of the people, for it was marked by an extraordinary love affair and a subsequent transformation of the kingdom's destiny.

Queen Mindae, known for her benevolence and wisdom, ascended to the throne during a time of prosperity and unity. Her rule was celebrated for the well-being and happiness it brought to her subjects. Nevertheless, behind the façade of a perfect queen lay a hidden love that would change the course of Hwanggeum's history.

Unbeknownst to her court and subjects, Queen Mindae had fallen deeply in love with Kim Beomseok, a commoner she had encountered during a secret exploration of her kingdom disguised as a humble citizen. Their love, while genuine, was forbidden, as royal protocol dictated that a queen must wed a nobleman from a neighboring kingdom.

For years, Queen Mindae and Beomseok carried on their love affair in the shadows, yearning to be together openly. The burden of the crown and the expectations of the kingdom stood as barriers between them.

The climax of this tale came during a grand ball in the palace, held to celebrate Hwanggeum's prosperity. On this fateful night, Queen Mindae mysteriously vanished, plunging the kingdom into a state of chaos and confusion. Wild rumors swirled about her fate, from kidnapping to assassination, as the people sought answers.

The official proclamation, issued by the royal council, declared that Queen Mindae had forsaken her throne to elope with Beomseok, her commoner lover, relinquishing her responsibilities. Her disappearance was thus presented as a voluntary act. Hwanggeum was left in the hands of Princess Miyoung, a distant cousin, who was chosen to rule in Mindae's absence.

Yet, the official narrative failed to quell the suspicions and doubts of the kingdom's citizens. In secret gatherings and hushed conversations, the people of Hwanggeum rejected the notion that their beloved queen would willingly abandon them.

The queen's true location was never found, and a network of loyalists worked tirelessly to erase Queen Mindae of Hwanggeum’s history. However, the people of Hwanggeum yearned for her return, not to rule, but to be a symbol of love and unity.

To this day, the last of us are patiently waiting to get a glimpse of her once again, to see her next to her beloved Beomseok, and to thank her for her transparent and wealthy rule. Queens like her are not made any longer.

She had to be more sensitive than usual because as she read each word, the tears were uncontrollably running down her face. It was like seeing herself in the mirror, but only seeing one difference: she had been unable to run away with her true love.

How had been Jeon Mindae’s life after vanishing? Had she been happy?

She truly hoped she was. She knew the feeling of loving someone who you are not supposed to and fighting for it to be alive even after years of waiting. It was exhausting, yet worth it, if by the end of the line she got to see him again.

Y/n kept the book pressed against her chest to the third destination of their tour, as a way to keep Jeon Mindae’s story close to her heart. If what Sehun had promised a week before was true, she was about to see Do Kyungsoo after two desperate years of sharing a bed with a stranger, pretending not to die a little with each passing day. That was not the life she had wanted for herself, but what could she do?

Just wait, said her best friend every day. So she did just that.

But now, seeing the premises of Gyulcheon, it was like the sun was finally shining for her. Its citizens were slowly gathering around their carriage, waving at her and Hajoon, who had sported the same fake smile for the last five days.

The city center was prepared to receive them, and the line of people who had gifts for them kept on growing as they got closer to the Palace’s entrance.

Her husband leaving the carriage first, y/n waited for Sehun to open the door for her once it was safe to do so. High-end families and generals bowed at her as she walked all the way to the Palace’s porch, and she could only smile at them with faked enthusiasm. Hajoon, awaiting her at the first step of the staircase, took her by her elbow and led her to the seatings decorated with golden and ancient figures. For the next two hours, they met Gyulcheon’s citizens who had to welcome them with gifts and offerings, a long-held tradition which the princess found pointless. Why would rich people need presents from poor, unprivileged ones? How was that even fair?

“I have to apologize My Prince, but I was only able to afford an honorable gift for My Princess”

The voice she had longed to hear for so many days, months, and years, reached her ears in an unexpected place. Her gaze pinned to her lap slowly raised to meet the eyes she had yearned to see, and the knot she had had in her throat ever since that night in the dungeons, tightened. He was as beautiful as she remembered, like time had stopped as soon as they met. Fighting back the urge to throw her arms around him, she bowed at him with her head and took a deep breath.

“You do not have to worry. I am content if my wife is.” and with that, Hajoon turned to the next peasant, who was offering him a wrapped-up gift.

“Thank you, Seongsaengnim” In a murmur, she took the laced box from his hands, trying to at least brush his fingers with hers. The shiver that she felt traveling down her spine was a sign of how strong her love for him was, even after all those years.

“Please try them as soon as you can, Your Grace. I would be devastated if they did not fit you”

His low buzz had her dancing in a cloud of her own. However, the guard that was next to him made it clear that he had to move quickly. More people were waiting behind.

“I will, Seongsaengnim. I thank you again. It was nice to meet you” Pressing the box to her chest, she bowed at him once more, Kyungsoo copying her with an even deeper one. When they slowly rose, it was as if they had already blended their thoughts. “I love you” was whispered from both ends and a soft smile graced their faces when the man departed.

Later that day, and alone in the chambers she was offered for her stay, she quickly headed to the corner where all their offerings had been placed. Hajoon was in a meeting, so she had time to find the only one that mattered. The laced box was hidden under the hundred packed gifts, so she had to make a big effort to retrieve it once it was on her radar. Once in her hands, waiting was no longer an option. Not even taking her time to appreciate the decorations around it, she removed the cover and tore through the white tissue paper wrap. What she found took her back to that afternoon, the afternoon that had changed her life.

The pair of shoes she had caught sight of that day were in her hands. She would never forget that soft peach silk that embraced the pair, and how those pink cherry blossom petals adorned them so delicately. With a cheeky sigh, y/n concluded that he had seen her from the moment she had set foot in the Cherry Blossom Market, when she had run to the stall, too entranced by the shoes to even care who noticed her.

His words from the morning popped up in her mind as she ran her fingers around the shoes, and she rapidly put them on the floor to try them on. She knew he had meant something with it — the plan had to be resumed. As soon as she put them on, a relieved giggle left her lips. They were about to be together, once and for all.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

“All set?”

She nodded to her husband and took Sehun’s hand to step into the carriage. Once inside, her best friend winked at her, and she had to suppress the smirk she wanted to give him in return. Nothing could make her happier than seeing him ride his horse by her window, Hajoon too preoccupied with his book to even spare her a glance.

Their long conversation was interrupted when the carriage made an unexpected stop, and her husband looked out of the window for the first time in hours “What is happening?”

As Sehun yelled “Ambush!”, everything seemed to occur in slow motion. Half a dozen men all covered in black from head to toe surrounded the wagon, one of them violently opening its entrance door as the rest engaged in physical fights with the horsed soldiers, less in number and not so much prepared to respond to such a sudden attack.

The man who opened their door was quick to take her by the arm and shove her out, not even caring to check if her clumsy fall had caused any harm to her body. Indeed it had, but she was too busy screaming for help to even notice that her wrist had twisted under her weight in her landing. “Please!” she yelled as the stranger dragged her to his horse and effortlessly sat her on its saddle.

“y/n!” She heard Hajoon’s voice muffled by all the swording around them. When she looked behind her, the stranger had already taken his own weapon out of his scabbard, waiting for her husband to get closer. However, he was never capable of doing so — another one of the ambushers had his blade pressed to his throat.

“Do not move.”

“Hajoon!”

Her cry was followed by her kidnapper gracefully jumping on his horse, slightly adjusting his position in front of her. Triggering movement with his heel, the brownish animal began his race right into the woods, the carriage quickly disappearing from sight.

It was only about half an hour into their ride that y/n let herself breathe in the fresh air. His addicting scent reached her nostrils in the process, and a chuckle escaped her lips as she strongly wrapped her arms around the man.

“I missed you” she whispered to his ear, and he squeezed her hand in his.

“I missed you too, my love”

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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twenty one petals | do kyungsoo (preview)

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 commoner!do kyungsoo x princess!reader

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst, romance | love at first sight, forbidden love

the story i originally intended to be short, turned out make me write 5k+ words, so it's taking longer for me to write. in the meantime, this is the preview i can give you! @kyungseokie, thank you so much for your request. it will be up in the next couple of days!

Your Royal Highness,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. I write to you with the utmost humility and respect, fully aware of the immeasurable distance that separates your world from mine.

May your days be filled with happiness and prosperity.

With the utmost reverence and eternal devotion,

DKS.

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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Hello 🦋 Can you write a Baekhyun story? His girlfriend went into a fit of jealousy for the first time and he was very surprised. Baekhyun tried to explain himself, but she was so angry that she didn't care. After this, Baekhyun got angry too and they fought. She heard some hurtful words and started crying... Baekhyun immediately regretted.

Something like this!

Neither of them are guilty. You can think of it as an ordinary couple's argument. Happy ending please! 🦋

Thank you 🦋

thank you for your request! i'll start writing this week, so look forward to it 🥰

#request #baekhyun

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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hey! literally ADORED 'if we love again' so much, and was wondering if you'd write something romantic and angsty for kyungsoo. no pressure at all, i promise! just that 'if we love again' reminded me of a series of letters i'd been writing for exo and i'm just curious about how you'd write kyungsoo. thank you! keep up the good work! 🩷✨ — @kyungseokie

omg! i'm a HUGE fan of your writing, you're really talented and you always inspire me to write my own works so thank you so much!

as of your request, i'd love to! kyungsoo has been wrecking my bias list for years now, so i'm very excited for this. i'll do my best!

thank you again 🥰

#request #kyungsoo #d.o

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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Hi! Do you have any baekhyun requests?

hey! i do not have any at the moment, but i'll happily accept all!

#request #baekhyun

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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if we love again | byun baekhyun (epilogue)

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 byun baekhyun x fem!reader x park chanyeol

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 0.8 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst | inspired on the song 'if we love again' (chen, chanyeol)

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 major character death

part 1 | part 2 | epilogue

“I didn’t want to write you a letter this time. It just feels different. It’s the first time I don’t need to write a letter, actually. I think it feels more real to just talk to you, despite the fact that I haven't been able to have a real conversation with you for more than fifteen years. I still miss you, I still long for you, and I still love you. But as you used to tell me, moving on is part of the human race. I’d like to think that I finally did.

I didn’t bring Chanyeol today because he’s staying home with Jihoon. We… we had a baby, Baek. And he’s the most precious thing. He’s just like his father and I love that so much about him. He keeps us awake most of the nights and you cannot even imagine the dark circles we both sport to work every day. But I would never change it for anything else.

I know Chanyeol has been worrying about me more than usual. He’s seen me crying when I cradle our baby to sleep, and I am aware of the fact that he knows why I do it. There’s only been one instance in our five years together that he has questioned whether I will ever love him as much as I love you. From my end, I was waiting for it to happen. From his end, he hoped he had never said those words to me, because he knew. And that’s why I had let him in in the first place.

It feels different with him. It’s passionate, heartwarming and intense like ours. He’s romantic, thoughtful and funny, just like you were. But I’m not as lively. I cannot watch romantic movies anymore. I will never go to study rooms ever again.

Still, I don’t want to be the same as I was with you. Because Chanyeol is not you, and I never wanted him to be you. I want him because he’s my husband, and because he makes me feel like he can take care of my fragile heart for the rest of my days.

I came here to finally say goodbye. Or at least that’s what I want for now on. You may see me back next month, in ten years, or never again. Who knows.

I need to say goodbye to you in a way that allows me to live for my son and my husband. So that I can cry out of happiness for I have a healthy and bubbly child and not out of grief because I will never know what kind of baby we would have made together.

I hope I have made it clear throughout the years together and apart that you will always be my forever love. That you gave me a new perspective, a reason to wake up every morning. But when you no longer could do that, someone else did. And that someone deserves to have the wife I want me to be.

He respects you, and as he has already told you, he thanks you for everything you’ve done for me… for us. Chanyeol was the one who said that you were our cupid, and now he also thinks you brought Jihoon to our lives. Though it’s kind of cute, I had to laugh. We both know how babies are brought to the world.

With that laugh, I also wanted to let him know that you’re not always the reason for our happiness. We are the ones who make it work. The ones who wake up every morning and feed, bathe and love our son. The ones who love each other through anguish, uncertainty, and inexperience.

I have to visit my friends more often than I visit you. I have to tell my parents I love them more often than I tell you. You will always be here, but they won’t. And if we have to meet again, I hope it’s up there and not around grown grass and muddy graves. I know you’re with me every step of the way so I’m not worried about this decision. I’m hopeful it’s the right one for my family and I.

I am happy. I am fulfilled. I want my husband to feel the same way. I need my baby to grow up with a strong mother, and I know you will understand that. Oh, and I will tell Jihoon about you. Chanyeol is fine with it. He says you’re also part of our story, and that your prayers worked. The love between him and I exists without pain. The grief that has accompanied me throughout the years was never successful in tearing us apart.

Anyways, I don’t want to rumble any more. I love you, Byun Baekhyun. I will always keep you in my heart. I would be lying if I told you I won’t. Keep resting in peace. We’ll see each other when my time comes. For now… I want to live the life I have created here."

#exo #exo baekhyun #baekhyun #exo x reader #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun x you #baekhyun x y/n #baekhyun fanfic #exo fanfic #baekhyun angst #exo chanyeol #exo scenarios #exo writing #fanfiction #kpop fanfic #kpop imagine

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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if we love again | byun baekhyun (2)

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 byun baekhyun x fem!reader x park chanyeol

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 0.6 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst | inspired on the song 'if we love again' (chen, chanyeol)

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 major character death

part 1 | part 2 | epilogue

My dearest love,

It’s been a year since I wrote you the last letter. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I had made you a promise and I’m glad to tell you I could fulfill it.

His name is Chanyeol. He had worked with me in producing a web drama some years ago, yet we had never interacted further than a kind bow and a goodbye wave. Because he knew me before your passing, it was only natural for him to notice how bad life had treated me.

He stayed with me when I thought I would pass out due to my heartache. He dried my tears no matter how they would make their way down my cheeks one millisecond later. He understood my pain even though he was not a widow himself. He listened. He consoled me. He cried with me.

It has been hard to open up to another love after you, Baekhyun. I was reticent. I felt like I was betraying you, but most importantly, that I could never move on, because you had given me so much joy in just six years that no one could ever provide a dime of what you had over the course of a lifetime.

It’s been almost nine years since you left. There’s not a day where I don’t think of you, where I don’t long to see your smile again, where I don’t cry out of desperation to feel your lips on mine. We deserved more than what we had. But mortality was the only evil our love could not defeat, and we were too unlucky. It found a shortcut down your street.

Chanyeol likes to dance without music. He’s not a very good cook. He plays the guitar and writes me songs. He takes my hand on the way to see you, but he likes to stay behind and give us some privacy. He knows I will ask him to come to your grave with me one day. But today is not the day, because this is the first time I’m talking about him to you.

I’m sure you would have been the best of friends if you had the opportunity to meet him. You will, but you know what I mean. Not in this sad way.

I hope you’re still the happiest man, Baek. You didn’t deserve any less. Though I’m still working on forgiving you for not telling me, I know you meant good. You were the best boyfriend, the best husband, the best lover, the best friend. And no other man will take your place.

Chanyeol is not a replacement. That’s also what I have been trying to understand. You labeled him as my ‘next love’ in your last letter, and I have recently come to realize that you had always meant for it to feel positive. Not a new beginning, but a continuation of ours. You wanted me to feel the butterflies again, the shyness that being complimented when wearing a red dress brought to me, the passion of love making with a person that cares about you and your desires.

And I came here today to tell you that I am finally feeling it once again. That we believe you sent him my way to finally start the healing process. To make me see that a love like ours is worth keeping it close to the heart, but it’s also achievable to create a new one. You taught me how to do it, so now I know you made it possible.

Thank you, my love. You’re still making wonders even from Heaven.

I promise to come back soon. I always do, but I don’t always write letters. Sometimes I like to stay silent, to close my eyes and remember you. Other times I just cry. But don’t worry, Chanyeol is always there to hold and reassure me after I leave you here.

I think that’s all I have to say. I hope you’re not hurting up there. I really wish you can feel the happiness I have started to regain.

Love you forever,

y/n.

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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if we love again | byun baekhyun (1)

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 byun baekhyun x fem!reader

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 1.1 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst | inspired on the song 'if we love again' (chen, chanyeol)

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 major character death

i cried my heart out writing this. i love this man so much

I had hoped for you to be my forever one and only. I had wished you were my eternal sunshine. I had assumed that your smile, so warm and delicate, was going to be by my side till the rest of my days. How I wish that was right.

On the rainy morning we met, you were not as bubbly as you usually were. It had been a rough month and you just needed someone to talk to. I’m glad I was the one who could spare a couple of hours more in that study room to help you ease your mind. It felt right to see the dark cloud that you carried around fading away, and how vibrant your eyes turned when you thanked me for being a good listener.

From that day on, seeing you coming to me when you crossed that door was what kept me going back to that place, even when I didn’t need to. It had turned into a silent agreement between me and you. Thursday and Friday mornings were ours to silently greet each other, all smiley and blushed, share a short conversation, and study for our classes.

We had a purpose.

You majored in public health, I majored in film production. Without even talking about it, we just knew. If you came before me, you would have picked my books for me, because you cared to pay attention to detail. If I came before you, though, I liked to bring you your all time favorite, a huge Iced Americano. It had taken a few guesses though, because you wouldn’t just tell me. I could have never guessed that a sweet guy like you preferred the bitterest option, but after so many unsuccessful tries, I had to go for the least reasonable one. From that, I learned that you were pretty simple, but just as clever and intriguing.

One of those mornings, you opened the door with the most adorable grin, one that only signaled excitement, longing and expectation. You sat down in front of me and started playing with one of my pens.

“Can you tell me what’s gotten into you?”

“I had a dream last night. And I woke up feeling like I had finally worked up the courage, so I will do it”

“Do what?”

“Would you like to go out with me?”

My heart had never beaten so uncontrollably fast. I had tried to conceal my feelings for you, because I wasn’t sure how to handle them. I couldn’t ruin what we had. What we had built. At that moment, when you looked so vulnerable right in front of my eyes, confessing how much you liked me and how wonderful it would be if we could see each other more often in other places, I was sure that you would become the one for me.

And so we did. We went to bars, theaters, museums, parks. Lakes, palaces, mountains, beaches. Night clubs, cinemas, hotels, parking lots. My place, your place. Our place.

We became each other’s everything. You would tell me everyday that the memories we had made together, earthly or not, were more eternal than eternity itself. That you could never love any other person more than you loved me. And I would always say it back.

Nothing else mattered when we were together. You would come home late from work, drowsy eyes and tired smile, and I would kiss and cuddle your worries away, even if it meant reviewing a script with you sleeping on my chest. When I was the one hurting, you would become my temple. There was no other person to whom I trusted my self-doubt to, because no one but you understood how to act and what to say.

“You are the most precious and valuable decision I have made in my entire life. I would never change what we have for anything in this world. I love you”

Those words have been engraved on my skin since the day you uttered them. Not because I had never heard them before, not because they were whispered with tears in your eyes. It was because you had gotten into one knee, and were displaying the simplest yet most beautiful ring.

I had never seen the point in marriage before you. It had appeared to be only a waste of time and money, because if you love someone, civil or religious union should not change a thing. But when I saw you, looking at me with those tears running down your cheeks, eyes still hopeful and nervous, I understood why couples do it. You won’t love each other any more or any less. You will love each other under the promise that it will be forever.

And we promised to be together forever. To take care and cherish what we had built. To love infinitely, madly, and deeply.

We really did. We really hoped.

But now, reading this handwritten letter now stained with my endless tears, I had to understand that life does not always have the same plans as we do, even for people that have learned what true affection is and all they want is to keep on loving.

My dearest love,

Having you away for this long has made me realize that you don’t deserve to live what life had in store for me. I had known for a couple of days before your departure, but you were so happy with your job opportunity that I had to keep it to myself. I would have ruined your career, and I promised to take care of you, even if it meant to hurt myself in the process.

Loving you has been the most incredible experience of my life. You made me see the color around me, and seeing you wave goodbye at me in the airport brought back the grays. I made sure to let you know that I love you forever, and that not even death was coming between us. But if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry, darling. I let it happen.

Please, don’t blame yourself. There was nothing you or I could do to make me stay in this world forever with you. My doctor was pretty clear about that.

I wish things were different.

I wish I could be waiting for you at the airport, right where you left me seven months ago, and that I could feel your body against mine one last time. I hope I can still remember that feeling in Heaven, if that’s where I end up going.

Writing this to you, now I know that a love too deep brings a sad ending. I just wish we could have had a happy ending, one where we died together, old, hand in hand, whispering how much we love each other.

If we can say that this was love, then that’s all we need. And you and I know we can.

My darling, I pray that your next love won’t be like us, that it’ll be without pain.

Please be happier than me, if that’s even possible. I was the happiest man alive with you.

Yours forever,

Baekhyun.

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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Hi do you accept requests

hey! yes, sure! what would you like?

i'll try my best <3

#request

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jinmindeulle · 1 year ago

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if we love again | byun baekhyun (1)

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 byun baekhyun x fem!reader

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 1.1 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst | inspired on the song 'if we love again' (chen, chanyeol)

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 major character death

part 1 | part 2 | epilogue

i cried my heart out writing this. i love this man so much

We had a purpose.

“Can you tell me what’s gotten into you?”

“I had a dream last night. And I woke up feeling like I had finally worked up the courage, so I will do it”

“Do what?”

“Would you like to go out with me?”

And so we did. We went to bars, theaters, museums, parks. Lakes, palaces, mountains, beaches. Night clubs, cinemas, hotels, parking lots. My place, your place. Our place.

“You are the most precious and valuable decision I have made in my entire life. I would never change what we have for anything in this world. I love you”

And we promised to be together forever. To take care and cherish what we had built. To love infinitely, madly, and deeply.

We really did. We really hoped.

My dearest love,

Please, don’t blame yourself. There was nothing you or I could do to make me stay in this world forever with you. My doctor was pretty clear about that.

I wish things were different.

If we can say that this was love, then that’s all we need. And you and I know we can.

My darling, I pray that your next love won’t be like us, that it’ll be without pain.

Please be happier than me, if that’s even possible. I was the happiest man alive with you.

Yours forever,

Baekhyun.

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jinmindeulle · 3 years ago

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updated masterlist! 💜

🌊 the boyz masterlist 🌊

welcome to jinmindeulle’s THE BOYZ masterlist 🍂

my works are organized by member, and the theme is always mentioned right below each title.

enjoy! 🍂

⇣ key ⇣

✽ — coming soon.

❀ — on going.

✿ — completed.

이상연 • lsy

— coming soon.

제이콥배 • bjc

instance ∣ the cliché saga (1)

— soulmates au ∣ angst, fluff.

more coming soon.

김영훈 • kyh

— coming soon.

이재현 • ljh

player ∣ the cliché saga (2)

— enemies to lovers au ∣ angst, fluff.

more coming soon.

이주연 • ljy

— coming soon.

케빈문 • kvm

— coming soon.

최찬희 • cch

— coming soon.

지창민 • jcm

— coming soon.

주학년 • jhn

— coming soon.

김선우 • ksw

— coming soon.

에릭손 • es

— coming soon.

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jinmindeulle · 3 years ago

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SHE'S HERE 🛐

player | the cliché saga (2)

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 lee jaehyun (hyunjae) x fem!reader

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 3.9 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst, fluff | enemies to lovers au, the cliché saga au

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 none that i remember

💫 let me know if you want to be tagged for the rest of the members! 💫

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚

The young woman who cried out of happiness after reading and re-reading her manager’s latest message had always thought that life was surely a roller coaster, continually changing its route, taking unexpected turns. That belief, however, had been damaged by numerous rejected auditions which led her to reconsider such statement. It only seemed to be going down for at least five months by now.

Luckily, the unexpected turn of events had finally arrived: the female leading role for Player was hers. Although she was not always as extroverted as her career required her to be, she decided to be it for once in her life — outstanding news ought to be shared.

She heard her best friend bawl through the phone speaker even before y/n could finish delivering the message, yelling about how proud she was of her and how she could finally go around her business showing off her best friend who was about to be on the big screen as a fucking lead role.

“You know that you’re going to be everywhere now, right? Like fucking everywhere, y/n. Magazine covers, YouTube interviews, Instagram ree-”

“Leedah please, don’t raise my anxiety levels more than they already are” y/n pleaded, looking for the shortened version of Player’s script she had used to audition through her pile of unfinished books.

“My bad” the woman giggled “D’you know who’s playing your love interest?”

“Not yet, Del told me they are still holding auditions because of the wide number of apparently ‘remarkable’ male actors who want the role”

“I just hope he’s not an asshole off-set”

“Yeah, Do Kyungsoo did not audition so the bar cannot be raised that much” y/n fake cried, internally wishing that the best young actor out there had given that movie a shot.

“You’re asking for a lot here, babe”

→──✦──←

“As I was saying, your audition was excellent. I could totally feel how you were made for the role, it really was like watching how the shoe fitted Cinderella, and Cinderella only. That brings me to the question, was there anything in particular that might have compelled you to go for this role?”

Oh yeah, of course there was. And the money was not it.

“Let’s just say that a long time ago, I was where Naha is. I experienced at University what she experiences at the office with Myungdae, so I know what it feels like to be one step away from your dreams while having to deal daily with the very same person who is blocking the path. It is just as frustrating, tiring and destructive as I tried to portray in my audition”

“And it was brilliant” the director, Kim Yoonha smiled “So before you go I want you to meet your fellow lead, who has finally been chosen today, and some of the supporting actors and actresses. Chemistry has to be tested, y’know”

Y/n nervously laughed. She had been dreading that part of the job ever since she got the role. Although she was used to meeting colleagues, she was aware of the fact that this was not what you call a low-budget film. Therefore, male leads and supporting actors might be well-known ones, like Do Kyungsoo.

Yeah, but he was not happening today.

She knew that. And even though Do Kyungsoo did not walk through the door, the figure who appeared right in front of them with a witty smile on his face made her want to die just to ask God what the fuck had she done wrong to have to endure his presence once again in only one lifetime.

“Y/n, this is your co-star, Lee Jaehyun. Jaehyun, this is Kim y/n” Yoonha happily introduced them, her gaze fixated on both of them as if she was already dissecting their interaction and counting how many sparkles had exploded from it.

“Long time no see, Kim” he extended his hand to her, a playful grin on his stupidly handsome face.

“I see you everywhere so I can’t say the same about you, Lee” y/n sighed, ignoring the fact that her heart rate had notoriously increased ever since their fingers made contact. Her hatred towards him did not conceal the fact that he was a sight to be seen.

But you might ask, how can one still hate someone as much as she hated him even after years of graduating? Does one never move on from University and its constant competitiveness? Though the first question was not to be answered easily, y/n was not blinded to the fact that she was never able to leave that part of her life behind — the part in which Lee Jaehyun had completely ruined her acting experience in college by downplaying her abilities as much as he could, by humiliating her in front of everyone when she forgot a single line in a play (which at rehearsals had costed her the role) and by making her feel minute next to him and his infinite talent.

Of course you can still hate someone for that. It was like having a free-pass to despise the one person who had taken upon himself to ruin not only your University life but also your upcoming career. That had been enough for her ego.

But Jaehyun had not finished with his torture, and was obviously prepared to keep on trashing her life by successfully debuting just four months post-graduation, and not as a reasonably deserved supporting actor, but as a fucking lead male. Dramas were his specialty, and by the time he decided to audition for the big screen, he was one of the most talked-about actors in the industry.

That is how you can intensely despise someone for more than five years, no guilt attached.

“So you know each other already?” the director inquired, turning to her desk to grab a stack of files.

“We shared generation at K-Arts”

He ruined my life at K-Arts, y/n wanted to yell. But throughout the years, she had learned how to deal with the anger that Jaehyun ignited, so she just simply opted for nodding her head and displaying the best poker face she could master.

→──✦──←

“Cut!” Yoonha approached y/n with her mouth set in a hard line, eyes fixated on the written scene they had been repeating for more than twenty minutes. Jaehyun walked away with a frustrated grimace, putting his hands behind his neck and hardly tugging from the little mullet he was growing.

“I’m sorry” y/n sighed, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Do you want to take a break?”

“No, it’s-”

“Actually yes, let’s take a break” Jaehyun turned to both women and took y/n from one wrist “We need to sort some things out before we move on”

“Wait, wha-”

Y/n was unable to say anything more, too stunned to see Jaehyun angry with her. With her! Tables had turned way too rapidly for her liking — and she was about to make him aware of that.

“What the fuck, Jaehyun!” she shook her arm, trying to set her wrist free from his warm grip once they were far enough from the set.

“What the fuck? You are ruining this and I’m the one being cursed at?” he bitterly laughed, letting her go and crossing his arms over his chest. “Tell me what is wrong with you. This scene is not that hard to perform, y/n, and you were not this bad yesterday”

“You are the damned problem!” y/n huffed, hardening her gaze “Yesterday was fine because our characters were still on hating terms. I have never felt nothing other than disgust for you, and it’s unsurprisingly hard to fake that I am falling for someone who is basically you in every fucking sense! Myungdae having your face was vicious enough but how is his character exactly like you? It’s got to be a fucking joke!”

“You didn’t have to throw that right into my face like that, y’know?”

“I haven’t done that in so long that I had forgotten how satisfactory it was”

Jaehyun look daggers in her direction. The truth was that he was actually trying to make a truce between them. Peace during filming and promotion — they could be back to loathing afterwards. But y/n was making it hard for him to offer that possibility.

“Are you aware of the fact that if we don’t shoot this scene because of your tantrums you are likely to be replaced?”

When y/n felt her eyes flooding with tears, she turned away from Jaehyun. A month into filming brought into her life the exasperation of seeing him every day and sharing at least eight hours of her day with him, which was surely wreaking havoc on her mental stability. And now, the man who ruined her was trying to make her feel worse than she already felt, proving he had not changed at all.

Drying the tears that had managed to fall down her perfectly made-up cheeks, y/n faced Jaehyun and scoffed “I’m not ruining the one and only chance that I got after five years of fighting for a leading role that should’ve been mine way long ago”

“You’re basically saying that I am to blame for your failures” Jaehyun looked surprisingly hurt, and y/n couldn’t help but laugh at his flawlessly polished acting skills, in and off set.

“Oh please, don’t act like you didn’t deliberately made me fall second in everything because you couldn’t stand me being on top of you”

“So you still want to be on top of me” Jaehyun grinned, his clownery making a comeback after a month of faking a serious colleague relationship.

Deciding that the conversation should have ended ten minutes before, y/n gave him a dirty look, walked away from his co-lead and called Yoonha’s attention.

“We’re ready”

Her confrontation with Jaehyun had unexpectedly been what she had needed to get over her unwillingness to play stupidly romantic scenes as Min Naha, the young, innocent and meticulous office worker who had gone from despising the handsome, egocentric and haughty Jeong Myungdae, both her recent flatmate and colleague, to falling in love with him after he decided to comfort her during a blackout episode in their apartment.

Yeah, those overly cliché plots involved more clichés than y/n thought coherent, but who was she to critique? Those storylines seemed to be what people wanted, and she was more than happy to be living her (half a) dream once and for all.

“Aaaand… action!”

“It doesn’t matter anymore”

“Look, I know I messed up” Myungdae approached Naha, who did not bother to conceal the tears gathering in her eyes. The young woman looked away from him, avoiding eye contact “I am a stranger to commitment, so it’s not easy for me, Naha. But I swear that they mean nothing to me, and I’m so sorry you had to see that”

“We are nothing, Myungdae. You don’t have to apologize” the tears freely travelled down her cheeks by that point. The man cupped her face with his big hands, and using his thumbs, erased the paths that those salty tears had created on her face.

“Then why are you crying?”

Naha had nothing to say. She just wished she had a reasonable explanation for her ugly sobbing right in the middle of their living room. But the truth was that, as much as he had taken her out on a date and had showed her the real Myungdae, they were not dating. It had been one night and one night only. The following week, he was back to his party nights, bringing home a different woman every time. And Naha had been there to witness more than she had wished to.

“I know you are a player, Myungdae. But you swore you were not interested in that anymore when you took me out on a date” she mumbled, looking at him with a frown “That is why I’m crying. Because I was stupid enough to believe in you and your words”

“Naha” he pleaded “I’m truly sorry. But please, I can make it right this time”

“You have already broken the most important promise. I am the one who is sorry. I’m sorry to me, for letting me fall for the jerkiest of them all”

“Cut! That was fucking awesome!”

The fact that Jaehyun had yet not let go of her face and was still looking at her with pained eyes was making her feel bewildered. It was almost like he was having a hard time getting out of character, too entranced in his role to leave it just yet. His hands were still attached to her cheeks, and his lips were starting to get dry.

“Jaehyun” she mumbled, her voice muffled from his endless grip.

That seemed to have taken him out of his trance “Sorry” he let y/n’s cheeks go and bowed at everyone, rapidly making his way out of the small set that was supposed to be Naha and Myungdae’s living room.

“That was… weird”

→──✦──←

I’m sorry! The car broke down midway. Call a cab, I’ll pay you tomorrow :(

“Just what I needed!” y/n sighed as she read her manager’s text message. Yoonha had decided to review some of the scenes they had shot some days before for the sake of character continuity and development. Consequently, she, Jaehyun and a couple more actors were kept on set a little longer. A little longer had turned out to be three and a half hours of reviewing and discussing nearly fifty scenes and cuts, ultimately finishing their eternal exchange later than they had all wished to.

“Is everything okay?” the deep voice that was heard out of nowhere made her scream like she was about to be vaccinated. And she hated needles.

“Don’t ever do this again” she gasped, pressing her hand to her chest as if that would calm her increasingly rapid heart rate. Y/n slapped Jaehyun on his arm when he busted out laughing, making him yelp of both, surprise and soreness, his little grin nowhere to be seen.

“I was just trying to be nice” he scoffed, sobbing his coat-protected arm.

“A novelty coming from you”

“You are the only one who thinks I’m not nice” Jaehyun shrugged.

“And you blame me?” y/n uttered in disbelief. After all of those years, he was as insensible to the damage he had inflicted upon her as their last day of University.

“I am not the asshole I was to you back then” he lowered his head “And I came to you because I want to apologize”

Y/n’s mouth hung in even greater incredulity. Jaehyun had never been that vulnerable in front of her, not even for the wrong reasons like playing a joke on her. The fact that they had never shared a genuine smile, a pleasant talk or a friendly hug made her feel sceptic for she really didn’t know the real Jaehyun — the one who was willing to stay hours and hours helping his filmmaker friends with their plots and character designs; the one who shared his meal with his designed make-up artists because they had forgotten to bring their own; the one who had offered himself to aid their camera men with the direction because Yoonha was not feeling well one afternoon, spending more time on set than he was supposed to.

“How do you plan on doing that?” y/n mumbled, shoving her freezing hands into her pockets. Winter was taking a toll on her body, lately only covered up with beautiful but weather-insensible outfits.

“I can take you home if you want” he raised his head and gave her a tiny smile. The way in which y/n’s cheeks burned with his gesture made her clear her throat and look around, consciously avoiding his growing grin.

“Is that being nice?”

“I-I... I can buy you dinner a-and then take you home” his stutter was too charming not to laugh at, so she did just that “Hey! I’m trying to be a good guy here and you’re just making fun of me. I should’ve guessed it”

Just when he was turning around to leave her standing there, y/n took his wrist in a quick move. Jaehyun remained still, his back to her. The sound of the gravel around him signalled she was now back in front of him. Starring at her reddened fingertips around his naked wrist, he sighed “What?”

“You know this is hard for me to believe, right?”

They were finally on serious grounds.

“Yes” he whispered, his eyes travelling back to hers. “But I mean it.”

“Why?”

“Because” he paused and loosened up her grip on him with his free hand, taking hers with both of his and slowly, cautiously caressing the back of her hand “I have always felt guilty for what I made you go through all those years”

Y/n sighed but said nothing, too overwhelmed with his ministrations to care say a word.

“I’m truly sorry…”

“You are turning into Myungdae all of a sudden, Jaehyun” she mumbled after a long silence, her gaze fixated on their linked hands.

“I guess we are two jerks when it comes to worthy people”

Y/n could not believe how the scene they had played some days ago was developing right in front of her eyes, in real life, with the real Jaehyun. He had decided to compensate all those years of jerkiness by first and foremost, taking her out for dinner. Though it was not as fancy as the one they had shared as Naha and Myungdae, eating McDonalds inside his late-model car proved to be as fun and enjoyable as he had promised.

“So she is out there, talking about your boyfriend side on interviews like you guys actually dated?” y/n laughed out loud, grabbing her soda with both of her hands before she spilled all of its contents on Jaehyun’s luxury seats “I thought it was for real!”

“Now you can tell why she is such a talented actress” he chuckled, too amazed with seeing a new side of y/n to miss it.

“She did a really good job” the girl sighed as she tried to calm down her laugher “I was certainly shocked to hear a woman talk about you like you were God himself”

“What if I told you that I am God himself?” he grinned, eating his last fry.

“There you are again” y/n scoffed “I was having fun with the previous Jaehyun, y’know!”

Her statement caught him off guard. He turned to her and searched for her eyes “What do you mean?”

“I-” y/n, suddenly too conscious of the small distance between them inside the automobile, looked out of her window and muttered “You turned out to be a pretty nice guy and I’m so pissed at you”

“Because…?” he demanded.

“Because!” she complained “You treated me as if I didn’t deserve to be first in our class for years! Was your ego too big for you to see that I was not the talentless nerd you thought I was? That you were becoming the superstar you are now no matter how good I was? Jaehyun, you were never a jerk. You just acted like one around me because I was a threat”

“It wasn’t like that” he shook his head. Her silence hurt him, and he made the decision he had to have made years ago. Confront y/n with the truth. “Do you remember Eric?”

“What has Eric got to do with this?” with a tired sigh, y/n placed the back of her head on the headrest, covering her eyes with her arm, as if showing that she was not willing to keep up with his bullshit anymore.

“He liked you. Like so much. And I made it my job to let him know he could only be on one side by turning you into the enemy”

Jaehyun’s explanation was so painfully childish that she had to laugh “Oh my God. Please don’t tell me that you made me the enemy because you also liked me and you didn’t want Eric to approach me”

The silence that followed made her turn back to him, disbelief written all over her features. The nervous smile that the young actor sported was all she needed to go back to her laugher “Oh my God, Lee Jaehyun!”

He covered his face with his hands, the shyness she had never seen on him too obvious to conceal. He had acted like a complete asshole with her because he was jealous of his own best friend. And he had never even considered approaching her on the first place.

“You really are an idiot” y/n stated, looking at him with the most precious smile on her rosy lips.

“I know” Jaehyun fake cried on his hands, his muffled voice too cute for a twenty five year old.

“Look at me” she pleaded, taking his hands away from his handsome features and holding his cheeks with her own soft hands. The grin was still there, so Jaehyun had to bite his lip so he could hide his growing jumpiness. “You acted like a brute with me for the wrong reasons, and you still have to make it up to me” y/n giggled when he nodded like a toddler being scolded by his mum “How are you going to do that?”

“I’ll be the real me from now on, and… and I can pick you up to go to the set, and then take you home, and also buy you dinner and coffee when yo-”

The fact that he had been the one responsible for her stumbling career was not going to be forgiven easily. They both had to work their way there. But if y/n had to go back all those years and start again, she would refuse. Because even though she had suffered and had hated him deeply, she was the actress — and human being — she was because of him. He had pushed her to be better every day, to leave behind every mile stone so that she could reach the following one.

Jaehyun had been the worst, but at least he was admitting it, and trying to start all over again. And now, y/n was tired of pretending like her stomach didn’t felt a thousand butterflies every morning upon seeing him arrive to the set, his fetching smile ready to greet every single worker. Y/n didn’t want to keep on ignoring the desire to take his lips with hers when Jaehyun touched her — intentionally and unintentionally.

Inside his car, with her hands on his cheeks, seeing Jaehyun ramble with the most gorgeous pout on his lips, was all y/n needed to act on her desires. And so she kissed him.

At first, the surprise froze him in place, their lips only pressing together. He felt like a teenager, his vast experience with women suddenly disappearing from his resume. When he was finally able to react, he took y/n’s lips with his and slowly caressed them. The smile he felt against his mouth only encouraged him to deepen his touch, bringing her closer to him by grabbing the back of her neck.

“Are you practising for tomorrow?” he kept his eyes closed while smiling, resting his forehead against hers.

“What are you talking about?” y/n asked, bringing her thumb to his lower lip, tracing it.

“Naha and Myungdae are having their first kiss” Jaehyun opened his eyes so he could save the moment in his memory for a long time.

“Good thing we are keeping up with them”

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚

the cliché saga tag list — @teeztheflag @lovesickheize@sseastar-main

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jinmindeulle · 3 years ago

Text

player | lee hyunjae

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 lee jaehyun (hyunjae) x fem!reader

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 3.9 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst, fluff | enemies to lovers au