#for what i once felt was real

[poetwix]

So what if I've forgotten?

Forgotten how to feel

[pocketramblr]

I would do anything to save her.

This was supposed to just be drawing the Taoden siblings hugging a bunch but ah guess that Falin as the tower/princess/dragon post got into my head too much

[devotion-disorder]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3dFHa31qxQ8?feature=share

10/10 would smash Yuri buuuuut this vid lived rent free in my head, I don't wanna skip to my next life just yet-

no because i can vouch that she is 100% correct. of course everyone's built different but i have almost the exact same opinions as her...they dont call it rearranging your guts for no reason yall.

BUT you can also make a lot work with a bit of time and patience :D and when you're sequestered in the deepest part of the woods, trapped in a village that most people that don't even know exists, there is definitely more than plenty of time :) though Yuri also tends to be impatient, so......................... good luck? ^^;

[grahamcore]

if you’ve read a metric ton of fanfiction and had your memory of canon retroactively altered you may be entitled to financial compensation

[billiuspendragon]

Okay I'm kinda talking out my ass/projecting my own autism onto Saiki here but:

Though Saiki is an unreliable narrator and truly loves his friends, I think some of his resentment over hanging out with them is real, and I can understand it.

I am a person who can readily admit I love my friends, and I do like to socialise, but I need plenty of warning beforehand and time to recuperate afterwards, because socialising takes effort. When I'm invited to do something or hang out with friends, I almost always feel a shadow of resentment about it - even if it's a thing I want to do and with people I like. It still feels like I'm losing out on a day of doing jack-shit. Cancelling on doing jack-shit is still cancelling on plans, even if those plans were just "wake up, write fanfiction, draw pictures, etc." and it throws me off. I feel like I can't enjoy spending time with my friends unless I give myself time to get excited about it, and if it happens too suddenly I find myself shutting down or floating away a bit.

Now, if we look at Saiki, who's friendship with all these people was pretty much built on these kinds of interactions, and add those to his deep-rooted belief that he doesn't deserve friends, that resentment and anxiety must be even more strong. I think the fact that Saiki obviously grows to care for his friends really shows his deep desire for connection, even more so if we go with the interpretation that some of his negative feelings about them are real.

My point with this ramble isn't to say "Saiki really does find the others annoying and therefore doesn't like them" but rather the opposite. On some level, Saiki is "tolerating" being out of his comfort zone, but the fact that he's willing to do this for his friends shows that he really does care about them.

[isthatafuckinggayangel]

I wanted to continue this thing that I wrote for @cod-dump (hope you don’t mind me tagging you lmao), just kinda expanding upon the concept of Nik being Soap’s father and getting into more of the meat in the idea, so here

~~~

Explaining to Ghost and Gaz everything that had gone on between Nik and Soap, their relationship and all, was exhausting. The number of questions they had took forever to get through and made Soap think a little too hard about what why his mother had caused this.

At the same time though, it made him realize he needed to call her to get all the information straightened out here. He needed to know why she did it. Why she separated him from his father.

So, a few days after he had gotten everything sorted with Nik and the team was on the same page with everything, he made the call. He had both Ghost and Nik sit in on the call with him, he couldn’t get himself to do it without some support and he needed to have Nik there to make sure any lies didn’t slip passed him. The trio were sat around the dining table in the common room, Nik and Ghost on either side of Soap. He pressed the call button and made sure it was on speaker, holding it in his left hand still.

“Tha e math cluinntinn bhuat a-rithist, John. It’s been too long since ye called!” She answered the phone with.

“Sorry ‘bout that. It’s been quite busy out here, so I haven’t had the chance.” Soap rested his forehead in his palm and Ghost ran his hand along his upper back in a soothing motion.

“Is there somethin’ goin’ on, a chuilein? Ye sound a bit upset.”

“Yeah, um, I’ve been thinking a lot and had a few questions fer you, if that’s alright?”

“Of course, it is! Ask away.”

He took a deep breath then went for it. “Why did you tell me my da abandoned me?”

There was silence on the other end. The seconds stretched for what felt like forever.

“Well, that’s because he did. He made it very clear to me that he didn’t want to speak to any of us, and as much as it pained me, I knew we had to respect his wishes.”

Soap saw Nik’s fist clench out of the corner of his eye and looked up, seeing an expression of barely concealed rage. Soap set his phone on the table, reaching over and grabbing his father’s hand to try to help calm him.

“Ma, do you remember what he does for work?”

“…What do you mean, John?”

“I need you to be honest with me. Why did you lie?”

He was met with more silence.

“I dinnae lie, John.”

“Ma. I’m givin’ ya one more chance to be honest. I need you to take it.”

“I don’t understand, I’ve been honest-“

He let out a sigh before laying it all out. “I met him again, Ma. Ye seem tae have forgotten what he does fer work. We work together now. I read his journal, ma. I know what you told ‘im. I know you lied to both of us. So why? I just wanna know why you did it.”

“It’s a very complicated situation-“

“Bullshit. I know a complicated situation when I see one, and this is not one.”

“John-“

“Не лги нашему сыну, Elspet.” Nik growled. He’d clearly had enough of her avoiding the question she’d been asked.

“Nikolai, I-“

“You will answer the question the boy asked. You will not disrespect him or diminish his intelligence by acting as though you do not understand what he is talking about.”

They were once again met with silence. Ghost moved closer to Johnny, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and holding him against his side.

“I was tired. Your father’s job took a toll on me, on our family, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. The entire time you were away from me, every summer, I was so scared his job would follow him home and I wouldn’t know because you were so far away. I needed to have you close to make sure you were okay. That you were safe. I couldn’t think of anything else to be able to do it.” She paused. “Look at where that’s gotten us now. You enlisted for the same damn job and now ye work together. Guess it couldn’t truly be avoided.”

Soap was seething. While he understood being afraid for your child’s safety, he couldn’t get passed the manipulation. The lies. The fact that she didn’t just explain that that was the problem. He could have kept up with phone calls, letters, something so he wouldn’t lose his father. And yet, this was the decision she had made.

Nik squeezed his hand and Ghost hugged him a bit tighter.

“John?”

A deep breath. “Thank you for your honesty. I’m gonna need some time to process all that. I’ll call you again soon, yeah?”

“Yeah. I love you, John.”

“Love ye too, ma.” He hung up the phone and rested his head against the table. “Christ, that sucked.”

“Are you alright, love?” Ghost asked.

“I’ll be alright eventually. Just gonna need some time.” He picked his head back up and looked over at Nik. “You alright? Cannae exactly be easy for you to hear either.”

He gave a light nod. “I’ll be okay eventually, малыш. It will take time, as you said, but it will be fine.” He squeezed Soap’s hand again and Soap did the same back. “У нас все будет хорошо.”

~~~

Translations

Tha e math cluinntinn bhuat a-rithist, Johnny. -> It’s lovely to hear from you again, Johnny.

A chuilein -> my lad

Не лги нашему сыну -> Don’t lie to our son

Малыш -> little one

У нас все будет хорошо -> We will be okay

Apologies for any incorrect translations, the Gaelic is done with google translate and the Russian is a different translation app, so chances are there’s something wrong with it. Let me know if you have any corrections on it!

[archersartcorner]

Some more silly digital Star Trek doodles… butch lesbian bones save me… lil baby Chekov… I’ll save u

[cheekblush]

took myself on a little shopping trip yesterday in the city where i used to study in hopes of lifting my spirits but by the end of the day i felt so disheartened. wandering the same streets 10 years later and not much has changed. i’m still the same lonely unlovable girl.

[inthegardensofourminds]

May the Fourth be with you!

[baifengxis]

i don't like being negative about things but this is really just constructive criticism (that no people who make the show will see so it might be useless but anyway ksdkfsdg) i love 23.5 very very much but they tried to fit too many storylines into only 12 (so far 10) episodes and some resolutions just feel so...underwhelming...and it'd be much better to just not do them, for example, this whole thing with aylin and ton was just...not it, it wasn't really addressed and it just left a bitter taste for everyone, plus aylin had trouble talking anyway, we could've had her opening up anyway and use the extra time for aylinluna scenes that for whatever reason went missing today (bcs there was basically nothing and they went to eat in luna's house but we never see that? okay plus no make up scene or anything), also don't get me wrong but there's kinda too much time focusing on supporting boys, it's fine for them to exist and have cute little stories (even tho at this point i really don't know why ton exists but anyway) but i felt like they had so much time and lines in this episode, time and lines that were taken from the MAIN girls but anyway that's gmmtv i guess, so anyway all of this plus how fast the ongsasun conflict escalated and i get it, they're teenagers they do dumb things, i guess the conflict is eventually ongsa being insecure anyway but...we could've spent more time on those things rather than extra storylines that went nowhere and i just felt this issue a lot in this episode

so anyway my love for the show remains and i still believe it's the best thai gl we have so far, but i wanted to share my thoughts that i guess other people share too

[possamble]

AHA thank u i was mostly just. frantically pulling the "no hetero" card bc farcille is super super always endgame for me and the "marcille has two hands" thing is absolutely not for me and my personal characterization of marcille

i like. can't find it anymore for some reason but there was a farcille fic set just after the shuro confrontation where laios reaches over to hold marcille's hand and ask her if she likes him or if she's just tolerating him too and it was so. the vulnerability. the puppyness.

that safety and security he must feel in knowing that she wears her heart on her sleeve and he will always know when she's unhappy with him because she will absolutely let it be known. the way that falin's first revival was the turning point for the way he felt about her because, for the first time in his life, protecting falin wasn't something he had to shoulder alone. there was finally someone else who cared about her as much as he did (in his eyes, resenting his parents for failing to protect her) and would stop at nothing to save her. the way it must have been proof for him that, not only was falin not alone anymore, he wasn't alone anymore.

idk why i like rather than dislike the fact that his only framework for parsing how he feels about "the first girl other than his sister that he's ever cared this much about" is a comphet romantic lens. like he would have the autism moment of fully assuming that he's in love with her for a while and just like. not? doing anything about it? because he doesn't feel the urge to, nor is he sad that he knows marcille would mostly likely never "feel the same way" about him?

like. he "figures out" that he's "in love with marcille" with all the passion of printing out a label and sticking it onto a favourite scrapbook for organizational purposes. he's equally happy to be her husband or brother-in-law so long as it means she stays close and is part of his family.

i know logically i should hate it but it's sooo crunchy to me. my comphet besties ever. designated plus one and dance partner to all fancy and formal occasions. having actual real chemistry but the "romantic" part of it is some weird shapeshifter smokescreen. augh

[ieidolon]

now that i'm playing dragon age: veilguard i understand hbomberguy so much better. think i could probably do a 3.5 hours long video called "dragon age: the veilguard is FINE and here's why"

[criscura]

Not apologizing for the meme made on my camera app LITERALLY i can't focus on any of his scenes because of this

Why. Why is he Like That. Why did they draw him like that. Why in 30+ episodes has it never been addressed ONCE

[chaoticallyfluffy]

I woke up crying because I knew the boops would be gone when I awoke 😭

Actually it’s because I had a dream where my twin sister (who I hated) had died years ago, then I became a dancer with one of those celebrity lookalike/impersonator people, but she was pretending to be my sister instead of a celebrity and I wished my real twin sister was there to dance with me because I got along with the impersonator and would have loved to get along with my real twin sister as well.

I do not have a twin sister. I also hate dancing. It was a weird dream.

[avid-adoxography]

I just finished watching Once Upon a Studio and holy shit?????

THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN?? ON SCREEN?!??

CHERNADADDY?????

THE QUEEN HERSELF??? Uh, no wait, she's famous I shouldn't be this excited.. BUT STILL!!!!

AND!! and- wait a second...

HELLO???

HUSBAND (and beloved Gremlin) SPOTTED! I REPEAT, HUSBAND SPOTTED! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!

[el-huddpudd]

okay I'd been thinking about writing another wj fic and now I definitely am