#for what i once felt was real

[poetwix]

So what if I've forgotten?

Forgotten how to feel

[devotion-disorder]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3dFHa31qxQ8?feature=share

10/10 would smash Yuri buuuuut this vid lived rent free in my head, I don't wanna skip to my next life just yet-

no because i can vouch that she is 100% correct. of course everyone's built different but i have almost the exact same opinions as her...they dont call it rearranging your guts for no reason yall.

BUT you can also make a lot work with a bit of time and patience :D and when you're sequestered in the deepest part of the woods, trapped in a village that most people that don't even know exists, there is definitely more than plenty of time :) though Yuri also tends to be impatient, so......................... good luck? ^^;

[pocketramblr]

I would do anything to save her.

This was supposed to just be drawing the Taoden siblings hugging a bunch but ah guess that Falin as the tower/princess/dragon post got into my head too much

[its-rat-time-babey]

Another good reason to play around with the whole “Miko is a glitch” Theory/Headcanon/whatever you’d call it, even ignoring canon’s “evidence” or the fact that if any of the techs were a glitch, Miko would be the most likely candidate, is the fact that out of all of the Techs, Miko is the person that would take learning that information THE WORST out of all of them.

Even ignoring that moment in Going Going Gauntlet where she has a brief existential crisis over if Ally is technically alive or not, think about Miko for a minute.

Practically her entire life she’s been an outsider in some way. Most other kids her age either know her as “that one kid who kicked Ralphie Bear’s head off at someone’s birthday party” or “that weird girl in the arcade with the high score in Rock ‘Em Sockers”. (And it’s slightly implied the series of events went Rock ‘Em Sockers -> Birthday Incident with Miko (having just moved to Bailey) originally getting herself noticed through Rock ‘Em Sockers only for everything to come crashing down when she was invited to that birthday party.) She’s had basically no real friends besides a few people she plays online games with until very recently when she met Five and even in her own family she’s a bit of a black sheep. And Miko is fully aware of all of this.

Miko desperately wants friends and she’s terrified of the possibility of losing the few friends she does have. She’s scared of being seen as “the weird kid” or “not normal” or anything that could potentially push people away from her. Just look at The Glitch Modder for one of the best examples. Mitch’s comments about Miko being weird, everyone else being unnerved by her reset immunity and ESPECIALLY Miko finding out that Five also sees her immunity as something strange sets her off for the whole day because of exactly what I’ve said before.

Miko desperately wants to be viewed as normal (most likely because she’s been othered before for being “weird”) and seeing everyone else’s immediate reactions to her immunity and especially the reaction of Five, her literal best friend, has to be pretty soul crushing to her. That’s also why Mitch’s comments get under Miko’s skin so easily here. It’s a massive pressure point for her.

Even as a much smaller point, we have Miko’s reaction to Five calling her Meeks. She hates it, but lies and goes along with it anyways because she’s afraid of doing anything that could even risk pushing Five away from her. It’s a tiny point, but still worth bringing up because it’s a tiny example of Miko just being desperate have friends.

So take all of that into account, and then look me in the eyes and tell me with a straight face that Miko would take learning that she’s not human but in fact one of the literal MONSTERS that she and her friends regularly hunt down even REMOTELY well. It is maybe one of the worst possible things that could ever happen to her.

[el-huddpudd]

okay I'd been thinking about writing another wj fic and now I definitely am

[billiuspendragon]

Okay I'm kinda talking out my ass/projecting my own autism onto Saiki here but:

Though Saiki is an unreliable narrator and truly loves his friends, I think some of his resentment over hanging out with them is real, and I can understand it.

I am a person who can readily admit I love my friends, and I do like to socialise, but I need plenty of warning beforehand and time to recuperate afterwards, because socialising takes effort. When I'm invited to do something or hang out with friends, I almost always feel a shadow of resentment about it - even if it's a thing I want to do and with people I like. It still feels like I'm losing out on a day of doing jack-shit. Cancelling on doing jack-shit is still cancelling on plans, even if those plans were just "wake up, write fanfiction, draw pictures, etc." and it throws me off. I feel like I can't enjoy spending time with my friends unless I give myself time to get excited about it, and if it happens too suddenly I find myself shutting down or floating away a bit.

Now, if we look at Saiki, who's friendship with all these people was pretty much built on these kinds of interactions, and add those to his deep-rooted belief that he doesn't deserve friends, that resentment and anxiety must be even more strong. I think the fact that Saiki obviously grows to care for his friends really shows his deep desire for connection, even more so if we go with the interpretation that some of his negative feelings about them are real.

My point with this ramble isn't to say "Saiki really does find the others annoying and therefore doesn't like them" but rather the opposite. On some level, Saiki is "tolerating" being out of his comfort zone, but the fact that he's willing to do this for his friends shows that he really does care about them.

[cream-and-tea]

heyyy don’t mean to bother you but did you know that um. You, now - the ones listening to my idling progress from back home in Glottage - you’re telling yourselves; Val cannot possibly be growing angry over something like this. How dare she? The hypocrite. How can this thing, this monster, this battle-saint, possibly find any kind of righteous anger in her twisted and repurposed heart for the lives of the fallen foe? How does our terrible Val think she can justify any kind of anger at the sight of the flattened and buried corpses of enemy civilians and enemy children, when we’ve already been listening to her murder police officers, soldiers and townsfolk single-handedly in turn? How can she be furious when we’ve heard her butcher her way through the little old ladies of the CLS in the hopeless effort to murder her own faraway mother? (Mockingly) See? You can be sacred and yet self-aware. Yes, I am culpable. I am dreadful. I have been responsible for great atrocities and I will commit a great many more before I’m done. And still - I am growing furious, as I walk through the devastation of this town. Because the wound of Sutler’s Weald is not like any wound I would make. It’s clumsy, it’s crude. It’s thoughtless. I begin to tell myself, as I walk - I wouldn’t have murdered them like this. I would have been kinder. I would have killed them quickly or gracefully, and there would have been beauty and strangeness in the manner of it. And even that’s all deception, even if I had been cruel and slow and lingering in the massacre of these innocent people, upon my whim - I would at least have looked them in the eyes, and I would have borne the weight of my cruelty. If they’d asked me to, I could have killed this town beautifully. And I’d have borne witness to the horror, and I’d have rejoiced in it - and it would have been considerably less vile and ugly than this. The ones back home, the ones who are listening in, I don’t think they know what they’ve done here. The line of connection between the victim and the victimiser, the sacrifice and the god - it’s long, and tangled, and indistinct. A god should not be able to avert her eyes. What a terrible thing it must be, to be monstrous and not even know it. And even if all of this is lies, even if I am just as bad and just as careless as the people back home who did this to Sutler’s Weald… …well, then, let me hate them, pure and simply, for being just as bad as me, because people - -people should be kinder than the gods that eat them. The town square is largely intact. A few burning cars, a single shrine and statue to some goddess of victory, her snapped-off arm raised in imagined triumph. I sit down upon the pavement in the ruined heart of the town, and I tell the dead people of Sutler’s Weald beautiful lies. I tell them that they survived, in their hundreds - miraculously and inexplicably, dodging the bombs. Not a single victim, not one death. An act of divine mercy. When that doesn’t work, I tell them that they were buried properly, according to whatever rites or customs they happen to cherish. When that doesn’t work, I try and turn them into my mother again, in the hopes of making the dead people hateful to me. When that doesn’t work, I tell them that I’m sorry. I tell them I wish they still had ears to become all the wondrous imaginings I had in store for them. I tell them… …that all things considered, they deserved a better avenging and foreign god, a better tormentor, a better oblivion, than the one that was forced upon them. (With cold fury) I tell them- I will find a way to give them something better.

[isthatafuckinggayangel]

I wanted to continue this thing that I wrote for @cod-dump (hope you don’t mind me tagging you lmao), just kinda expanding upon the concept of Nik being Soap’s father and getting into more of the meat in the idea, so here

~~~

Explaining to Ghost and Gaz everything that had gone on between Nik and Soap, their relationship and all, was exhausting. The number of questions they had took forever to get through and made Soap think a little too hard about what why his mother had caused this.

At the same time though, it made him realize he needed to call her to get all the information straightened out here. He needed to know why she did it. Why she separated him from his father.

So, a few days after he had gotten everything sorted with Nik and the team was on the same page with everything, he made the call. He had both Ghost and Nik sit in on the call with him, he couldn’t get himself to do it without some support and he needed to have Nik there to make sure any lies didn’t slip passed him. The trio were sat around the dining table in the common room, Nik and Ghost on either side of Soap. He pressed the call button and made sure it was on speaker, holding it in his left hand still.

“Tha e math cluinntinn bhuat a-rithist, John. It’s been too long since ye called!” She answered the phone with.

“Sorry ‘bout that. It’s been quite busy out here, so I haven’t had the chance.” Soap rested his forehead in his palm and Ghost ran his hand along his upper back in a soothing motion.

“Is there somethin’ goin’ on, a chuilein? Ye sound a bit upset.”

“Yeah, um, I’ve been thinking a lot and had a few questions fer you, if that’s alright?”

“Of course, it is! Ask away.”

He took a deep breath then went for it. “Why did you tell me my da abandoned me?”

There was silence on the other end. The seconds stretched for what felt like forever.

“Well, that’s because he did. He made it very clear to me that he didn’t want to speak to any of us, and as much as it pained me, I knew we had to respect his wishes.”

Soap saw Nik’s fist clench out of the corner of his eye and looked up, seeing an expression of barely concealed rage. Soap set his phone on the table, reaching over and grabbing his father’s hand to try to help calm him.

“Ma, do you remember what he does for work?”

“…What do you mean, John?”

“I need you to be honest with me. Why did you lie?”

He was met with more silence.

“I dinnae lie, John.”

“Ma. I’m givin’ ya one more chance to be honest. I need you to take it.”

“I don’t understand, I’ve been honest-“

He let out a sigh before laying it all out. “I met him again, Ma. Ye seem tae have forgotten what he does fer work. We work together now. I read his journal, ma. I know what you told ‘im. I know you lied to both of us. So why? I just wanna know why you did it.”

“It’s a very complicated situation-“

“Bullshit. I know a complicated situation when I see one, and this is not one.”

“John-“

“Не лги нашему сыну, Elspet.” Nik growled. He’d clearly had enough of her avoiding the question she’d been asked.

“Nikolai, I-“

“You will answer the question the boy asked. You will not disrespect him or diminish his intelligence by acting as though you do not understand what he is talking about.”

They were once again met with silence. Ghost moved closer to Johnny, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and holding him against his side.

“I was tired. Your father’s job took a toll on me, on our family, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. The entire time you were away from me, every summer, I was so scared his job would follow him home and I wouldn’t know because you were so far away. I needed to have you close to make sure you were okay. That you were safe. I couldn’t think of anything else to be able to do it.” She paused. “Look at where that’s gotten us now. You enlisted for the same damn job and now ye work together. Guess it couldn’t truly be avoided.”

Soap was seething. While he understood being afraid for your child’s safety, he couldn’t get passed the manipulation. The lies. The fact that she didn’t just explain that that was the problem. He could have kept up with phone calls, letters, something so he wouldn’t lose his father. And yet, this was the decision she had made.

Nik squeezed his hand and Ghost hugged him a bit tighter.

“John?”

A deep breath. “Thank you for your honesty. I’m gonna need some time to process all that. I’ll call you again soon, yeah?”

“Yeah. I love you, John.”

“Love ye too, ma.” He hung up the phone and rested his head against the table. “Christ, that sucked.”

“Are you alright, love?” Ghost asked.

“I’ll be alright eventually. Just gonna need some time.” He picked his head back up and looked over at Nik. “You alright? Cannae exactly be easy for you to hear either.”

He gave a light nod. “I’ll be okay eventually, малыш. It will take time, as you said, but it will be fine.” He squeezed Soap’s hand again and Soap did the same back. “У нас все будет хорошо.”

~~~

Translations

Tha e math cluinntinn bhuat a-rithist, Johnny. -> It’s lovely to hear from you again, Johnny.

A chuilein -> my lad

Не лги нашему сыну -> Don’t lie to our son

Малыш -> little one

У нас все будет хорошо -> We will be okay

Apologies for any incorrect translations, the Gaelic is done with google translate and the Russian is a different translation app, so chances are there’s something wrong with it. Let me know if you have any corrections on it!

[archersartcorner]

Some more silly digital Star Trek doodles… butch lesbian bones save me… lil baby Chekov… I’ll save u

[inthegardensofourminds]

May the Fourth be with you!

[baifengxis]

i don't like being negative about things but this is really just constructive criticism (that no people who make the show will see so it might be useless but anyway ksdkfsdg) i love 23.5 very very much but they tried to fit too many storylines into only 12 (so far 10) episodes and some resolutions just feel so...underwhelming...and it'd be much better to just not do them, for example, this whole thing with aylin and ton was just...not it, it wasn't really addressed and it just left a bitter taste for everyone, plus aylin had trouble talking anyway, we could've had her opening up anyway and use the extra time for aylinluna scenes that for whatever reason went missing today (bcs there was basically nothing and they went to eat in luna's house but we never see that? okay plus no make up scene or anything), also don't get me wrong but there's kinda too much time focusing on supporting boys, it's fine for them to exist and have cute little stories (even tho at this point i really don't know why ton exists but anyway) but i felt like they had so much time and lines in this episode, time and lines that were taken from the MAIN girls but anyway that's gmmtv i guess, so anyway all of this plus how fast the ongsasun conflict escalated and i get it, they're teenagers they do dumb things, i guess the conflict is eventually ongsa being insecure anyway but...we could've spent more time on those things rather than extra storylines that went nowhere and i just felt this issue a lot in this episode

so anyway my love for the show remains and i still believe it's the best thai gl we have so far, but i wanted to share my thoughts that i guess other people share too

[possamble]

AHA thank u i was mostly just. frantically pulling the "no hetero" card bc farcille is super super always endgame for me and the "marcille has two hands" thing is absolutely not for me and my personal characterization of marcille

i like. can't find it anymore for some reason but there was a farcille fic set just after the shuro confrontation where laios reaches over to hold marcille's hand and ask her if she likes him or if she's just tolerating him too and it was so. the vulnerability. the puppyness.

that safety and security he must feel in knowing that she wears her heart on her sleeve and he will always know when she's unhappy with him because she will absolutely let it be known. the way that falin's first revival was the turning point for the way he felt about her because, for the first time in his life, protecting falin wasn't something he had to shoulder alone. there was finally someone else who cared about her as much as he did (in his eyes, resenting his parents for failing to protect her) and would stop at nothing to save her. the way it must have been proof for him that, not only was falin not alone anymore, he wasn't alone anymore.

idk why i like rather than dislike the fact that his only framework for parsing how he feels about "the first girl other than his sister that he's ever cared this much about" is a comphet romantic lens. like he would have the autism moment of fully assuming that he's in love with her for a while and just like. not? doing anything about it? because he doesn't feel the urge to, nor is he sad that he knows marcille would mostly likely never "feel the same way" about him?

like. he "figures out" that he's "in love with marcille" with all the passion of printing out a label and sticking it onto a favourite scrapbook for organizational purposes. he's equally happy to be her husband or brother-in-law so long as it means she stays close and is part of his family.

i know logically i should hate it but it's sooo crunchy to me. my comphet besties ever. designated plus one and dance partner to all fancy and formal occasions. having actual real chemistry but the "romantic" part of it is some weird shapeshifter smokescreen. augh

[ieidolon]

now that i'm playing dragon age: veilguard i understand hbomberguy so much better. think i could probably do a 3.5 hours long video called "dragon age: the veilguard is FINE and here's why"

[criscura]

Not apologizing for the meme made on my camera app LITERALLY i can't focus on any of his scenes because of this

Why. Why is he Like That. Why did they draw him like that. Why in 30+ episodes has it never been addressed ONCE

[theokusgallery]

I hate that I have reoccurring themes in everything I make. YES this guy has a complex over the fact that everyone prefers his sibling AGAIN. YES he was ostracized by his peers since he was in primary school and never knew why until years later. URGH

[chaoticallyfluffy]

I woke up crying because I knew the boops would be gone when I awoke 😭

Actually it’s because I had a dream where my twin sister (who I hated) had died years ago, then I became a dancer with one of those celebrity lookalike/impersonator people, but she was pretending to be my sister instead of a celebrity and I wished my real twin sister was there to dance with me because I got along with the impersonator and would have loved to get along with my real twin sister as well.

I do not have a twin sister. I also hate dancing. It was a weird dream.