#elf fever hours

[devotion-disorder]

...he's just curious about human biology!!!!!!!

[calypsoine]

@devotion-disorder I MADE A LITTLE ELF BABY FOR THE ELF VILLAGE!!!! HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!

He just wants the S/O to give him a sibling so he doesn’t need to play by himself ❤️

“PLEASE!!! I promise I’ll be good and help around momma/dadda! Just please get me a sibling to play with!!”

(I don’t know about the Mishka part but thought it might be cute, sorry if it’s not accurate!)

[fuzybby]

Baby Fever

Halsin x F!Reader

Synopsis: Halsin wants a baby with you so bad, and who are you to deny him?

CW: BREEDING!!!, the word daddy is used once, rough-ish sex, lovey dovey shit

Life after the Elder Brain was strange in the way that it was comfortable. Instead of going back to your old life, the one you had before you were forced onto the Nautiloid ship, you decided to follow the love of your life. Halsin.

You went with him to go look after the bundle of kids whose parents had passed from the attack. Thaniels realm, otherwise used to be known as the Shadowcursed Lands, looks much better than when you left it. Now that the curse was lifted, the lands were no longer drenched in shadows and fog.

There were, however, many little feet running around the sanctuary you had made. There were a few little cabins for some of the kids to sleep, along with you and Halsin having one for yourself. Outside the cabins, tents and campfires were set up everywhere. Some of the kids enjoyed sleeping outdoors, saying that it brought them comfort to sleep under the stars.

As you tucked the final kid into their bed in one of the cabins, you tried to exit as quietly as you coud. When you came to be outside, Halsin stood next to your own cabin door, waiting for you to come to bed.

You chuckled to yourself as you stepped around the tents and the kids personal belongings, walking to your cabin. Halsins eyes fell onto the way your body moved, smiling to himself as he wondered how he got so lucky.

“Surprised you're not already in bed.” You joked in a whisper once you were close enough for your giant lover to hear.

Halsin opened the door and let you step inside first, before following and closing the door. He swiftly locked it behind him. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” He responded, the grin never leaving his face.

“Mhm?” You stepped over to your dresser, pulling out a tanktop and some shorts to sleep in. Halsin came up quickly next to you and put your clothes back into the drawer.

“I want a baby.” Halsin said. He was blunt, it was something you loved about him. Always getting to the point.

“We already have, like, twelve children.” You chuckled awkwardly, trying to pull your clothes back out of the drawers.

He was quick to put them back into the drawer, and even closed it too. “I want another one. Made from both of us.”

“Halsin..” You started, looking up into his eyes. It was something you had talked about before, being a mother wasn’t not off the table, you just didn’t expect it to be so soon. You loved the little ones you were taking care of. Adding another was definitely something that you wanted.

Without a second beat, Halsin smirked. “This also means I could fuck my cum into you every night, multiple times a night, until your pregnant.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Halsin had always asked to cum inside you, and there were only a few times you had agreed to it. He was always so sweet about making a day after potion for you, even if he was sad it wasn’t time yet. But now, he wanted it to be time. And so did you.

“Yeah..” Is all you could say, a big goofy smile plastered on your face. “Yeah.”

“On the bed, my heart. Let me grab the bottle.” Halsin said, the same kind of goofy grin on his face too. You didn’t think twice, immediately jumping into bed. You debated if you should take off your clothes, knowing Halsin would rip them off and most likely tear them.

Before you could really get your hands even on your clothes, Halsin returned next to the bed with a bottle of lube. Handmade by him, of course.

“I don’t understand why we still need that stuff. I take you just fine.” You sighed, looking up at your elf with puppy eyes.

“Sweetheart, it takes me almost an hour to prep you properly. And I don’t feel like waiting tonight. It’s necessary.” Halsin laughs, moving down to press a kiss to your lips. His lips are soft, and both of your tongues move to reach each others. It’s messy as much as it is passionate, and yet it doesn’t last long.

He pulls away and moves to sit on his knees in front of you on the bed. Hiking his hands up your shirt to cup your breasts. His hands are rough and large, but he touches you like you're made of glass. This is his pattern, be extremely gentle with you at the start to rile you up before he completely ravages you for all you are.

He takes his time, pulling off your shirt slowly so he can admire your entire torso. He presses the faintest of kisses against the skin of your breasts, sucking a nipple into his mouth. His teeth just barely graze your pointed tip, his tongue working in circles to swirl around your entire areola. Before long, he switches to the other nipple, continuing the same ministrations on that breast instead.

He works slowly down your body, too slowly for your tastes, and you're tempted to beg him to hurry. Halsin hooks his pointer fingers into the waistband of your pants, quickly pulling them down along with your underwear. Throwing them into the corner of the room.

“Fuck,” Halsin growled, grabbing the backs of your knees to spread you open. “I love you.”

“I love you t-” You go to reply, but before you can even finish the sentence, Halsin licks a strip up your cunt. Swirling his tongue around your clit, much like he did with your tits. He moans into your heat, trying to bury his face as much as he can into you.

It felt glorious, his tongue was so warm against you, and so soft. It felt like fucking heaven. You moaned loudly, and had to cover your mouth to not disturb anyone outside. You could feel your wetness travel down onto the bed, or maybe it was some of Halsins saliva? Who knows.

Your legs shook, but his hold on them made it so your whole body spasmed instead. Arching your back up into the sky in hopes his tongue would reach deeper. Travel inside of you and ignite a flame of ecstasy.

You could feel a sweat break out against your skin, and suddenly everything in the room became too hot. Your body felt on fire as your lover devoured you.

“Almost..” You moan out, moving your hand down to hold onto his hair. You didn’t tug, holding it merely to try and keep you grounded.

Halsin didn't stop, instead opting to suck and focus on your clit as he entered a finger into you. It didn’t take too long for him to enter a second one, and then a third. You were wet enough for them to slide in easily. The feeling of being so full set you on edge, and you suddenly came with a cry. Your body shook, and you gripped both the sheets and Halsins hair in a death grip.

Halsin relented and pulled away, a line of his saliva stayed connected from his lips to your clit. He pulled his fingers out of you slowly, immediately putting them into his mouth to clean them off.

“Grab me the bottle my love.” Halsin huffed once he finished sucking on his fingers. You stretched your arm above your head to grab the bottle of home-made lube, and tossed it to your lover.

Halsin grabbed it and set it down on the bed next to him, it was now his turn to strip. Throwing off his shirt and trousers quickly. His cock sprang out of his pants and smacked against his abdomen. He was a big man, in all ways possible. He grabbed the bottle again and poured the smallest amount on his hand, and gave his cock a few pumps in order to coat himself.

He then drizzled a small amount onto your mound, and it made you jump as the cold liquid met your clit. He made sure to rub it everywhere, but made sure the most to finger you a little bit more while his hands were coated in it.

“Ready?” The giant had asked you, and you nodded.

He positioned himself first, pushing in only slightly so just the top of the tip was inside before he moved his body to hang above you. His free hand now came to grab the sheets next to your head for stability.

And then he started to push in more.

The first few times you ever had sex with Halsin, it took a while. Back and forth between trying to enter you and making you cum on his fingers. He never wanted to hurt you, and continuously tried to stretch you open enough on his fingers so that you could take him fully.

Now that you were more experienced with his size, it was easier to take him. But, that doesn't mean sometimes it didn't hurt.

The initial stretch is the worst, no matter how much prep work is done it'll still never be quite enough. But you always enjoyed the small thing of pain. Enjoying the way you hugged his walls, silently asking for him to never leave the warm space between your legs.

And god, the look on his face was everything. The scrunch of his brow, the way he wanted to bare his teeth like an animal, the moan he lets out when he first comes into contact with your warmth. It’s absolutely divine.

His hand that was holding his cock now comes to hold your face. He is so close to you, you could purse your lips and reach his own.

“Fuck, you feel good.” The druid growls, his mouth stays open in a silent moan.

Before long, he finally is able to push in all the way to the hilt. You can feel his heavy balls rest against your ass. You could probably feel them twitch if you concentrated hard enough.

“Fuck me already.” You beg, moving your hands to hold his thighs. Your fingers knees into his flesh, hoping to guide him to move.

Halsin smirks. “You know I love it when you beg.”

He doesn't wait a second more before he starts moving. He doesn't start with a slow or gentle pace, it's straight to rough and hard. The sound of skin hitting skin is all that can be heard from the room.

Whimpers and whines leave both of your lips, not wanting to be any louder in case to wake anyone nearby.

You felt so incredibly full, only for that fullness to leave momentarily and then come back full force inside you. Everything felt beyond amazing, your lover always knowing how to fuck you good.

You never relented on your hold on him, wanting to make sure he never pulled out.

Your sweat hadn't let up either, and everything around you was wet. The skin from your elf had the same sweat on him too.

Your brain had started to turn off, consistent quiet rambles fell from your lips. “Fuck a baby into me daddy!” and “I love you so much!” were one of the few sentences that Halsin could make out.

Halsin quickly grabbed onto the headboard as he pounded you, now not so close to your face either. His arm flexed as he held onto the piece of wood. The bed frame that he made with his own two hands now felt like it was going to snap and break from his constant thrusting.

“M’ gonna cum,” He moaned. The hair on his forehead bounced against the movements he was making.

“Inside!” You squealed, moving your hands to grab onto his lower back, intent to make sure he didn't pull out last minute.

Halsin smirked for the final time that night, “That's my girl.” He said quietly into your ear before slamming into you one final time.

The force of his orgasm caused your own cord to snap too, feeling his seed drench your walls as your own ecstasy covered his lower abdomen.

You both lay there for a minute, taking a breather. Watching one another with that same goofy grin on each other's faces.

“Melody if it's a girl.” Halsin said breathlessly, moving his body to lay on top of you, never pulling out.

“We're gonna make a list.” You laughed, holding him close to you. You felt hot as he lay against you, possibly almost too hot. “I need a cold bath.”

“Me too.” The giant agreed. “I can get one started for us.”

“Sounds lovely” You hummed, running your fingers through his hair. “Maybe have another round while we bathe?” You joked.

“Don't threaten me with a good time.” Halsin laughed.

Neither of you moved just then, continuing to stay there together. Entangled in eachothers arms as you both relax, hoping to Silvanus that no one woke up from the sound of you two lovebirds.

[anittmyer]

Maglor the Old Elf

In my AU, Elladan and Elrohir find Maglor on the beaches of Middle Earth, he is ill, physically worn, and even has visible strands of grey strewn throughout his midnight hair.

Maglor is taken to Imladris to heal and be at peace for the first time in many millenia. Elrond is beyond relieved and near tears when he sees his sons riding into Imladris with a very familiar elf with them.

Maglor embraces Elrond but tries to refuse care and healing, stating he did not deserve it. Elrond told Maglor that Imladris is a place of peace and healing, no amount of past deeds and self loathing will change that.

Maglor is treated long and hard for illness and fever that seems almost engraved in his bones. But Elrond works day and night to provide comfort for his foster father.

The Elves of Imladris are more intrigued by Maglor rather then feared or hated, the elflings especially, they found the mix of grey and black in his braids to be beautiful and his tall tales he would tell to his own young brothers wludl entertain them for hours. Maglor while recovering well is still affected by the years on his feet, his eyes and bones are old, his eyesight is not as sharp as it once had been and his bones are weary and frail, he takes to using a walking stick/or cane, a beautiful one made and carved by Elladan and Elrohir.

Many of the less familiar elves took to calling him "Maglor the Old Elf", as besides the silvan and Avari, Maglor seemed to have collected one of the largest sums of years, alongside Cirdan the Shipwright. He also weeps at getting to meet his mysterious nephew Erestor, Caranthir's son... one of the last of his family.

I also headcanon that Cirdan and Maglor become friends during this time as well. After hearing about the return of Maglor, Cirdan makes time to visit Imladris and examine the situation, but all he sees is an old, weary elf trying to warm his ever chilled bones with a thick quilt. Cirdan takes to talking with Maglor and the two soon form a strong friendship with each other.

From one old elf to another.

I have way more ideas on this if anybody would like some short stories!

[weministertomonsters]

Imagine This #9 - Elf

After the day you took an arrow for the Fae Commander, he kept you by his side, barely letting you out of his sight. He was angry when you finally woke up from the poison fever.

"I promised to deliver you safely back into your father's hands," he had said, pacing like a wild cat in the healer's tent. "How could you be so foolish?"

After the verbal lashing, he strode away in a flurry of robes and golden hair, barking orders to his men. Now that you were well, by first daylight the camp would be disbanded and the journey continued. The healer who was packing her things away winked at you.

"He doesn't want to show his relief, but he watched over you all night."

You wouldn't have believed her if you hadn't been aware of him at intervals amid your feverish dreams. He had brought you medicinal teas- administered patiently by the spoonful- and stroked your hair and sang to you in Elvish.

"I'm sorry to bring you on this wretched journey," he'd murmured as the cold poison rattled in your bones and he gently held you down, keeping you warm with his body heat.

He had been there for you. He had cared. Now feeling much better, you huddle in your coat and tiptoe over to his tent. Despite the late hour he's still awake, leaning over a map. You reach out and touch his shoulder.

"What is it?" He looks up.

"Thank you."

"Do not mention it," he replies, looking away.

You begin to comb your fingers through his hair, marveling at how silky it is. You'd heard that touching an elf's hair is considered intimate. The sharp breath he takes confirms this but he doesn't ask you to stop.

"Why don't you braid your hair?" You ask. "It gets in the way sometimes."

"I was promised to the battlefield from a young age. A warrior does not need to learn how to braid hair," he replies tersely.

"Isn't this a part of courtship? Correct me if I'm wrong." You say as you skillfully braid his hair.

"Yes. But a warrior-"

"Is promised to the battlefield, yes, you keep reminding me. Don't worry, I'm not trying to court you."

"Ah." His shoulders don't relax so much as they droop.

You tuck the smaller braids behind his pointy ears. "There you go."

He's doing that thing where he stares at you with furrowed eyebrows like you're the last puzzle piece that doesn't fit.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Goodnight." You leave him to his planning and head to your own tent.

The next morning he has picked the braids apart, probably because it'll be too obvious who did them. His hair is slightly wavy now, and you can't help but laugh quietly when you see that.

[grandeoatmilklatte]

Taking a Sick Day 🤒 (Ominis Gaunt x F!MC)

Alternate title: "come over, my parents aren't home!"

I'm back from another writing hiatus! Please enjoy this floor-fucking smut!

Warnings: NSFW || P in V || 0ral || f!ng3r!ng || loss of V || Characters are aged up and 18+ || MDNI || (1892 words)

“Oh sweetheart! You’re burning up! You can’t go out like this!” Ominis’s mother exclaimed as she sat on the edge of the bed, her hand resting on her son’s forehead. “Everyone else will just have to go without us.”

“It’s alright mother! I wouldn’t want you to miss the party! I can stay home alone. I’ll be asleep most of the evening anyway.” Ominis pleaded, praying he didn’t sound too desperate. 

“He’s right dear, the boy is eighteen now, he’s old enough to stay home alone for an evening.” his father’s voice echoed from the other side of the room. 

After a few moments of discussion between Ominis’s parents, it was agreed Ominis could indeed stay home, while the rest of the family attended a dinner party that night at the home of a family friend. Ominis smiled to himself as he heard his parents leave the room, waiting until their footsteps receded before jumping to his feet, dashing to his desk and quickly crafting a letter, whispering words to his self writing quill before shooing his owl away so that his letter could be delivered as quickly as possible. 

Ominis’s plan was turning out to be a success so far.

An hour later, the Gaunts were saying their goodbyes to Ominis, letting him know that they would return past midnight, and that they wouldn’t wake him when they returned. Once they had left, Ominis summoned the family house elf, letting the elf know that he was giving him the night off so that he could be alone while he recovered from his “illness”. The elf was happy to oblige. When Ominis confirmed that the house was indeed empty, he made his way to the family room and waited, his heart beating out of his chest. 

Less than twenty minutes passed before Ominis heard the sound of tapping at the window of the family room. He dashed to the front door, listening for a moment before he called out.

“Darling, is that you?”

“Yes! It’s me!” Came the beautiful voice of his girlfriend before he felt her arms wrap around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. He kissed her back and led her inside, shutting the door behind him. 

“I was so worried they wouldn’t fall for it! Had I known this was that easy I would have skipped out on every one of our History of Magic classes!” Ominis said as he proceeded to quickly give his girlfriend a tour of his home. She laughed at his remark, but her eyes were wide in awe, taking in her surroundings. 

“Ominis, your home is incredible!”

Ominis felt a slight pang of sadness knowing that this was the only way he could have her in his home - in secret. The couple had been together since their fifth year, with their romantic interactions being few and far between due to a lack of privacy at Hogwarts. They managed to see each other occasionally over the summer holidays, but this had to also be in public spaces, her muggleborn status making an invite to the Gaunt manor forbidden, lest she wish to be killed. Recently, Ominis had begun to slowly and secretly steal from his family’s fortune, waiting until he had stolen enough for them to run away and start a new life together. Until then, their relationship would need to remain a secret.

So, when Ominis learned that his family would be out of the manor one evening for several hours to attend a party, he couldn’t deny himself the opportunity to have the place to himself, for him and his beloved to do whatever they pleased. A simple potion created to make the drinker appear sick with a fever was all Ominis needed to make this evening work in his favor. 

After giving her a brief tour of this home, Ominis led her back to the family room, where he sat himself on a dark emerald velvet sofa, while she remained standing. With a quick wave of his wand, Ominis lit the grand fireplace that was across from the sofa.

“Darling, don’t just stand there, come sit with me.” Ominis leaned back, making his lap readily available for her. 

A nervous giggle fell from her lips. “Sorry, this is just…so different from what we normally do. I don’t think we’ve ever been this alone before.”

“Well, we should take advantage of the opportunity then.” Ominis began to worry he might be sounding a bit desperate. The growing desire for her, as well as the growing bulge in his trousers, was hard to ignore. 

His worries faded when she straddled his lap, her hands coming up to hold his face as she kissed him. As he deepened the kiss, he brought his hands to her hips, gently guiding her so that her core was slowly grinding against his bulge, which was now straining against his trousers. Ominis could feel the tension releasing from her body as she began to move her hips on her own, increasing her pace as she continued to grind against him.

“Take your clothes off.” Ominis said breathlessly as he pulled away from her lips, the desperation completely taking over him. 

Without a second of hesitation, he felt her body leave his lap, followed by the sounds of her clothing coming off. Ominis followed suit, remaining on the couch as he undressed. He couldn’t help the soft groan that left his lips when he felt her sit back on his lap, her skin coming in direct contact with his own for the first time. 

She resumed her previous action, grinding herself against him, her bare cunt rubbing against the length of his hard, leaking cock. Ominis slipped his hand between their bodies, gripping his cock and trying to guide himself inside of her, but she pulled away, sinking down to her knees, trailing kisses down his chest as she did so. 

Her pace was slow as she took his cock into her mouth. The oral pleasure she had given him before was always quick and quiet, either in an alleyway after one of their dates, or in an empty corner of the library when they were still in school. But right now she was taking her time, savoring every second of this alone time they had, and it was driving Ominis crazy, moans freely falling from his lips as his hands wrapped around her soft hair. 

“Wait, wait, stop, not yet!” Ominis groaned, knowing that if she kept this up any longer he was going to fall off the edge way too early. “Come here.”

She did as she was told, resuming her original position on his lap, her lips immediately latching on to his. As he kissed her, he slipped his hand between their bodies once again, this time turning his attention to her as he slipped two fingers inside her wet cunt. She moaned against his lips, and adjusted her hips so that she was matching his movements as he pumped his fingers in and out of her. After a few moments he pulled his fingers out of her, using the same hand to slowly stroke himself as she lined herself up with his cock. When she was positioned perfectly, Ominis’s hands went back to her hips as she slowly sank herself down his length. 

She let out a long, drawn out moan as her body adjusted to the new feeling. “Easy, darling, easy. We can just go slow.” Ominis whispered softly. She gave him an affirming hum before she began to slowly ride him, Ominis’s hands encouraging her as they remained on her hips. Her hands moved from Ominis’s shoulders to the back of the velvet sofa, gripping it as she picked up her pace, Ominis’s hands still keeping her steady.

The Gaunts would surely kill their son if they knew what he was up to right now, and with a muggleborn no less. This was the ultimate act of rebellion against his family, and the realization of this, coupled with the way she moaned in his ear, coupled with the way her walls tightened around his leaky cock, almost made Ominis fall over the edge right then and there. But he kept his composure, knowing he wasn’t anywhere near done with her yet. 

“On the rug, now.” he commanded breathlessly as he lifted her off of his lap by her hips. She obeyed immediately, lying on her back on the large white rug that adorned the floor in front of the sofa. 

For a moment, Ominis felt it a bit crude to be taking the woman he loved on the floor, but he ignored the feeling, immediately diving between her spread legs. Moans of his name filled the room as he alternated between licking and sucking her clit. When her moans became louder, he slipped his two fingers back inside of her, working her with both his mouth and fingers. He was so lost in the taste of her, it was difficult to pull away, but eventually he did, positioning himself so he was directly above her.

“I love you.” He whispered against her lips before he gently kissed them. As she kissed him back, Ominis once again weaved a hand between their bodies lining himself up with her, gently sliding back inside of her. 

The gentleness was gone the moment Ominis bottomed out, as he began to fuck her mercilessly on the rug. He knew he didn’t have much time before he reached his climax, between the sound of her moans and the feeling of her legs wrapping around him. But, Ominis, ever the determined Slytherin, refused to let himself finish until she had first.

Almost as if she could read his mind, Ominis began to feel her walls tightening around his cock. His soft praises of “you’re so close, darling” and “you feel so good” gave her the final push she needed as she nosedived off the edge with a whimper of his name. 

Ominis slowed his movements down slightly, savoring the feeling of her orgasm as he himself was finally pushed over the edge. He once again considered the significance of this moment, juxtaposed with their current location, and cursed his bloodline as he emptied himself into her. 

There was no sense of urgency as they laid on the rug reveling in the afterglow. No need to quickly clean up and get dressed, or act as if they weren’t doing anything at all. Ominis could just lay there with her, listening to the sounds of the crackling fireplace, and the soft sighs of her breathing.

Although he could have laid with her on that rug for hours, Ominis eventually sat up, still wanting to enjoy the empty home. He led her into the garden, where they took an evening stroll before she provided Omins with his second orgasm of the night, taking him into her mouth again while they sat on a garden bench.

Once they had gone back inside, the two retired to Ominis’s bedroom, fatigue beginning to catch up to them. The time was approaching midnight anyway, and Ominis didn’t want to take any chances in case his family arrived earlier than expected. As they drifted off to sleep wrapped in each other’s arms, Ominis couldn’t help but wonder when his family would be attending a dinner party next. 

[tavyliasin]

In Sickness, And An Elf - Halsin Comfort Short

Written for a dear darling who is feeling unwell, a short and sweet SFW piece of Halsin x Reader to comfort someone suffering from flu (or a similar ailment)

Short below the cut~ (Yes, the title is a pun, and yes I am proud of it~) --- ---

“My heart?” Halsin’s voice was soft, quiet, his hand already pressing to your forehead. “Too warm…” He muttered, already channeling a little magic to cool his hand. He was right, too. You could feel the fever burning in your cheeks, your head spinning every time you tried to move, your throat raw from the cough that woke you every hour. “Hal-” 

“Shhh. There is no need for you to try so hard, my love. I have no intention of going far.” His hand smoothed back the stray hair that had fallen forwards, pushing it behind your ear before cupping your cheek. The kiss on your forehead felt achingly tender. “Close your eyes, wait here.” You nodded silently, earning another brief and chaste kiss to your heated skin before his presence withdrew. The sickness was dreadful, taking its toll on your whole body with the fever, the ache, the shivers that seemed to go from your skin and deep into your bones. Still…there was some comfort to know that the druid was near. Halsin’s footsteps roused you from an uneasy sleep you hadn’t even realised had crept back in, his face a blur as you blinked away to find him kneeling beside your bedroll. “Here, let me help you.” His arm slipped behind your shoulders, his other wrapping around your chest to brace your shoulders and help you sit up. More pillows had appeared behind you than were there when you lay down, providing a place to lean back a little. Your vision cleared more with a few blinks, the worry lines in his brow far clearer now. Golden eyes traced a path across your flush skin, assessing your symptoms quickly. 

“Drink this first, my heart, it will help. Even if it does taste terrible.” The mug had a smell of fresh lemon, spiced ginger, and a few bitter herbs mixed into the brew. He chuckled softly. “I am not fond of it either, but it will work.” 

Your nose wrinkled after the first sip. “I’m not sure how torture is a cure. Or is this poison to put me out of my misery faster?” “If you are good and finish it quickly, I may consider giving you a reward.” Halsin winked, a wry smile playing across his lips. “But that means no more complaining. Come, now, all of it.” The flavour did not improve, so you decided it would be better to just hold your nose and drain the lot in a few quick gulps. You fought the urge to gag, but true to his word your chest felt eased, your throat stinging yet strangely soothed by the spiced burn of the ginger. “There, that was not so bad, was it?”

“No, it was worse.” You managed a lopsided smile as you handed the mug back to him. “See? Empty. All gone.” 

“Very good, my love.” He kissed your cheek, a distraction as he reached behind him. “Just my cheek?” You huffed with mock disappointment. “I thought you promised a reward.” “I do not think raising your temperature further is wise.” Halsin dabbed the sweat from your forehead with a cool and refreshing cloth, the slight scent of mint infused in the water it had soaked in. “We can save anything like that for when you are fully recovered.” “I hope your medicine works fast.” “You’re not the only one…” His reply was so quiet you might not have heard it, especially with your ears feeling as blocked as your nose, but you could have guessed how he felt from the way he shifted his position. “Now, your reward. Open wide.” You closed your eyes, trusting him not to feed you more poison, or medicine if that’s what it was. You were pleasantly surprised by the sweetness that hit your tongue, the slick treat melting down across your tastebuds. There was a slight sting as you swallowed, but it was warm and soothing. You should have guessed this was what he meant. “Honey?” “Yes, my love?” Halsin laughed, already pouring another trickle onto the spoon for you. “A little more, it’s good for you. Then we will see if Gale is done with the soup he has been preparing for you. Karlach has been helping with the bread to go with it, though luckily Wyll is there to ensure it does not burn. Shadowheart and Lae’zel were very insistent on gathering and hunting the fresh ingredients, too. Even Astarion offered to supervise the pot so it doesn’t boil over, though truth be told he may be picking the job that allows him to put in the least effort.” 

“You’re all going to these lengths for me? Why?” You felt a few tears threatening to spill from your eyes. You hadn’t known them for long, and often you worried that you were bothering them with your questions or talking to them at camp. “Does it matter?” His thumb gently dried your eyes. “Let yourself be cared for this time. You have given enough of yourself to solve all of their problems, and no doubt you will continue to leap straight into the hells for any one of them.”

You tried to find the words to respond, to tell him that it was only the shared burden that kept them with you, but even in your mind that felt sour. They were putting in an effort, they were showing their care in their own ways. 

“As for me,” Halsin continued, pulling the blanket up to wrap closer around you before the chill of the night air could make you feel any worse, the energy slowly leaving you again as your eyes grew heavy. “Well, my heart, that is simple.” The whisper of his affection in your ear was barely audible, the depth of his feelings reaching you at the edge of your dreams as sleep won out once more. The druid pressed one last soft kiss to your head before standing to leave. “Rest well, my love. I hope you feel better soon.”

[astarioffsimpmain]

I'm sick, I feel terrible, and I'm having Halsin thoughts.

This is self indulgent, don't look at me.

○ I want to curl up against this man's chest and purr like a cat. I feel like death warmed over so maybe, just maybe, being so close to his strong and consistent heartbeat will make me feel a little bit closer to life

○ I just know he'd play with my hair, even just absent-mindedly. Braid it, un-braid it, braid it again, run his fingers through it, pet it (I'm gonna purr again, just you wait), etc. Honestly, if Halsin playing with my hair for hours didn't put me to sleep, I don't DESERVE to sleep

○ He'd find healing herbs to reduce my symptoms and help me get through my sickness a little easier. "Here you are, my heart. Do not drink it quickly, the effects will last much longer if you sip. Good, my dove."

○ If I felt a little better one day, he'd convince me to take a walk with him in the woods because "nature can heal all ailments." But he'd feel guilty for taking me out so soon when, by nightfall, I was wheezing again, my head aching so badly I couldn't keep my eyes open. "It's alright," I'd tell him. "Nature is just taking its time with me." He would still feel responsible, but he would know I didn't blame him, and that would ease his mind

○ In the evenings, he would insist on cradling me to his chest as he slipped into trance, not wanting to delve too deep and possibly miss something I might need upon waking. I would try to tell him I'd be alright for a few hours without monitoring, but he wouldn't have it, gathering me up against his bare chest. I wouldn't complain either, curling closer to his warmth as his strong arms surrounded me and protected me

○ When the fever struck and no amount of layers could warm me, he would wildshape into a bear and wrap his furry body around me like a living heated blanket, and only then would the ice in my bones abate enough to stop shivering and rest. When he sensed that my fever had broken, and I had started sweating into his fur, he would nudge me gently with his snout until I awoke, then would transform back into an Elf to pat down my glistening skin with a cloth

○ Once I showed improvement over the course of several days, we would step outside once again. I'd be able to tell how much he'd missed being amongst the trees, and I'd feel guilty for keeping him from it. But he would see it in my eyes and admonish me tenderly. "I chose to be beside you, my heart, and I do not regret it. Nature will always be there when I return, but I may not always be lucky enough to have your beautiful eyes looking upon me. I cherish every moment that they are."

○ I would promise him quietly, later on that evening when all was quiet and still, and we were wrapped up in each other with myself on the mend, that I would always do the same for him should anything - even something as seemingly trivial as a cold - should ever befall him. He would hum against the flushed skin of my chest and pull me closer, his lips pressing his answer straight into my heart.

[spin-birdie]

kinktober day 20: sex pollen

prompt list

word count: ~840

pairing: tav/astarion

rating: explicit

additional tags: gender neutral tav, dubcon, maybe hurt/comfort? (it's act 1, astarion is infected and hes really unhappy about it. he likes tav enough to accept their help but hes still in his Allergic To Feelings phase. this is somewhat angsty. consider yourself warned)

A flash of dim light catches Astarion's attention, and his eyes lock onto Tav's. His stomach tenses. He'd be sick with nausea and stop moving entirely, if only he could, but he knows if he pumps his cock any slower, it will just scream at him to continue.

So instead he snarls, baring his teeth at the intruder. "Get out!"

"No!" Tav scowls, ducking into the tent. "You've been going at it for, what, an hour? We can all hear you, would it kill you to--"

"Yes, actually!" Astarion snaps.

Tav lurches back, looking him over more carefully. Astarion grits his teeth and says nothing. His cock is harder than it's ever been, even though he's come who cares how many times, now. Undead or not, no elf could or should come this many times this quickly and still be this erect.

Tav at least seems to notice something is wrong. They tsk and kneel down to his level. "Look, what happened? You're clearly out of sorts."

Astarion sighs. The story is too fucking long and stupid to waste his breath on. Instead he reaches out to their tadpole, thrusting his memory of events into their mental link.

When everyone went back to camp, he stalked off into the big wide Underdark to hunt. Just when he found something that looked like it might have blood in it, a careless misstep made something explode underfoot. The next thing he knew, he was covered in thick, cloying, purple spores. He had no idea what kind of mushroom they came from, but the explosion scared away his meal, so he returned to camp hungry and bitter.

He was just going to sulk in his tent for the evening, try to ignore the roaring hunger inside him, but he was burning up. Worse than that, his cock was aching and leaking in his trousers, and his clothes were too hot and itchy, he needed to come, and he did, again and again, but the more he came the harder he got and gods, dear fucking gods, he's going to die if it doesn't stop soon, he needs--

Tav's mind lurches, and they sever the connection, physically reeling back. "Weeping hells. You need help."

"No shit," Astarion gasps, his skin prickling sharp with humiliation. His cock hurts, his wrists hurt, everything's too sensitive and he just wants to rest, but he can't stop moving, even under Tav's stupid sympathetic gaze. "Now help me or leave."

"I'm not going anywhere," Tav says softly, putting a hand on his knee. Their touch is an immediate relief, a soothing cool balm against his fevered skin. He wheezes, overwhelmed.

"Help me," he begs, and he chokes on the quiet part of himself that loathes how desperate he sounds. Of all the people who could have come to check on him, at least it's the person he's already sleeping with.

Tav puts a palm to his forehead, and he emits a stuttered, breathless moan at the relief it brings. It's not pleasure, per say, but he'll fucking take it.

"What can I do…" Tav mutters, seemingly to themself. They look over to the side, to Astarion's discarded clothes. They pick up his shirt, staining their hands with spores as they do so. (But more importantly, staining his shirt. He hopes he remembers to be pissed about it later.)

Tav lifts the shirt up to their face, and before Astarion can realise what's happening, they inhale deeply from the fabric.

"Don't breathe it in, what's wrong with you?!" Astarion hisses.

Tossing the shirt aside, Tav looks down at Astarion with conviction.

They run a hand over Astarion's stomach, gathering his come on their fingers.

"I won't let you suffer this alone," they tell him as they start to stroke his length.

It's still not comfortable by any means, but it feels so much better than his own hand, and he whimpers hysterically, squirming under their touch.

"You stupid arsehole," he grits out.

It's too much. Tav is too much. The sweet idiot just dosed themself with some horrible aphrodisiac-- for what? So they'd both be writhing, useless messes, humping each other until the entire campsite smells like sex? Why bring themself down to his level?

It can't be for his own sake, he thinks, even as he pulls Tav into a kiss so fierce their teeth clash. It can't be, because if it was - if Tav really is the sort of person who'd endure torment like this for the sake of another - it just…no. People like that don't exist. Not in Astarion's world.

If they're really that kind of person, where the fuck were they when he needed them?

Bitter thoughts distract him, but Tav's body pressing against his feels better than any medicine. They kiss him eagerly, their breath catching as the spores kick in. They need him. He's needed them for a while. So he takes.

He takes and takes, and allows Tav to distract him until he's returned to that familiar empty corner of his mind.

[dullgecko]

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3

Gooooood fucking damnit i wasnt planning on writing more but im like a dog doing backflips for bacon bits. Cant help myself. Comments are my kryptonite.

------------------------

His friends didn't end up going back to school that day, Sklonda leaving the door to Riz's room cracked so they could watch him as they sat quietly in the living room. Gorgug, Adaine and Fig left at one point to go to the store, returning over an hour later with some snacks, a new lightbulb for the ceiling light which Gorgug replaced without comment, and an entire new locking mechanism for the door (once Gorgug gave up trying to fix the current one) including spare keys for all of them. All of which was paid for with a large handful of silver coins from Fabians wallet, though the fighter had refused to go with them as he stayed watching vigil with Kristen over their sick friend in case he got worse.

Kristen had tried using greater restoration on the sleeping goblin and it seemed to help, his breathing getting a little easier though his temperature still remained rather high as he continued to try and sleep off the virus. She seemed somewhat satisfied with being able to at least do that much, eventually leaving with Adaine and Fig when Jawbone came to pick them up once it got dark. Adaine sneaking into Riz's room to place Boggy in his arms before leaving. The rogue sleeping lightly enough that he was able to mutter a quiet thanks to his wizard friend as he curled around the familiar and pressed his burning forehead against the cold presense.

Fabian and Gorgug had stayed longer still, Riz himself being the one to tell them to go home when he dragged himself out of bed to go use the bathroom and noticed them still hanging out in his apartment. He was still swaying a little on his feet as he walked, face pale and skin hot to the touch as he ineffectivly shoved them both towards the door. Even if he wasn't sick he'd never be strong enough to push them but they got the hint. Relenting only after watching him take another dose of the powdered medicine before he shuffled back to his room to sleep some more.

The half-elf was still frowning and worried when he finally got home, the Hangman seeming to pick up on his pensive nature and not making any comment as Fabian dismounted. Simply nudging against his hand before turning to go put itself away in the garage. He tried to school his features into a more neautral mask as he entered his house but his discomfort must have been fairly obvious. Cathilda stopping in her tracks as she scurried past him carrying an armfull of perfectly folded towels.

"What's wrong dearie you look upset?" She had to turn sideways to look at him, the pile of towels in her arms easily reaching over her head and swaying slightly when she stopped walking.

"Oh it's nothing~" Fabian waved a hand, trying to look flippant before reaching out to still the dangerously teetering pile before it fell over. "The Ball is quite ill at the moment and I was mearly thinking about something. He's got quite a fever but I'm sure he'll be fine by tomorrow."

The halfling pursed her lips, drawing them into a thin line as she looked up at Fabian from behind the pile. "Oh dear. Isn't often that you'll see a goblin actually sick. They're quite hearty folk y'know, up until they aren't. I've seen more than a few go down that way."

"Pardon?" Fabian blinked, reaching down to take the top three-quarters of the stack off Cathilda when she started walking again. Mostly so he had an excuse to follow her and get more information on that rather concerning little tidbit she'd just dropped.

"Oh yes, poor dears are built tough. They have to be to live up in those dreadful mountains. Headaches and exhaustion are run of the mill but if they get proper ill they're not able to keep much of anything down. They get so weak from lack of food that their wee hearts just give out trying to fight off the sickness." She sighed, directing Fabian where to deposit the clean towels as she lead him from guest bathroom to guest bathroom as they talked.

"And how long does that usually take?" The half-elf hoped his voice was managing to stay even, maybe with more of a curious tone, but it was starting to rise a little bit with restrained panic.

"Ohhh I saw one lad, Grilbak I think his name was, went down in one night. Spiked a nasty fever and was gone before he woke up again. Though he hadn't eaten for a few days at that point, you know what goblins are like, and we had no medicine on board for him when he first took ill." She pat Fabians leg, finally clocking that he was probably not doing well with talk like this. "BUT I'm sure your wee rogue will be fine. Perhaps we can send him over some weak soup, they're usually okay keeping that down."

Fabian swallowed around a lump in his throat, mouth feeling a little dry as he nodded and put down the last of the towels where he was directed. "That sounds like an excellent idea. He certainly didn't eat anything while we were there so he must be ravenous by now."

---------------------------

Fabian felt a little bit stupid, standing outside The Balls house at 11pm, holding a bag with several tupperware containers inside and texting his crystal. Riz didn't answer, but given he'd probably muted his crystal after the last flurry of group texts Fabian wasnt surprised. He didn't want to just barge in... for the second time in one day... so he instead texted the number he'd procured earlier from Sklonda (in case of The-Ball-Isnt-Answering emergencies).

She was apparently out of the house and attending her night classes, Riz having gotten up at some point and assuring her he'd be fine by himself for a couple hours and that her classes were important. Sklonda giving Fabian permission to go check on their rogue since she'd be out for a few more hours yet.

At least this time he didn't have to kick in the door to get in, simply unlocking it with the spare key Gorgug had gotten cut for each of them when he replaced the lock and slipping inside.

He was surprised that it wasn't completely dark inside when he entered, the living room lit by the old television set against one wall. There wasnt any sound though, it seemed that whoever was watching had muted it before lying down on the couch.

The half-elf tried to sneakily hide one of the larger containers of soup in the fridge, blinking in surprise when he noticed that there were several other still-slightly-warm mismatched containers already inside. He shoved them around on the shelf to make room, depositing all but the thermos he'd brought with him onto the shelf and shutting the door.

"Fabian? Didn' you go home?" A slightly croaky and sleepy voice drifted over from the couch, Fabian only able to see where Riz was from the light reflecting off his eyes like a cat in torchlight. "Ah yes... but Cathilda thought I should bring you some soup. She was quite worried so I obliged." Fabian held up the thermos, heading over to the couch and sitting down on the end oposite of where Riz was curled up. The goblin still clutching Boggy in his lap as he sighed and dropped his head back against the arm of the couch.

"Gods there is so much soup. We'll be eating soup for a week." Riz closed his eyes, tail flicking backwards and forwards at the tip where he had it draped over the edge of the seat. "Jawbone came back and dropped off a bunch from the girls. 'm not sure how safe Kristens is but she says her corn-soup is usually pretty... non-murdery."

"Ah, well, if you don't wish to battle another corn monster we have stocked your provisions with some chicken noodle as well." Fabian leaned forwards to put the thermos down on the low coffee table but stopped when Riz held his hand out towards him and made a 'gimme' gesture. The fighter instead handing off the thermos to the goblin who took it with one hand, the other putting Boggy down on the ground so he could sit up and open the lid.

Fabian tried his level best to look like he was interested in what was going on on the television, eye flicking over to watch as Riz made a valiant effort to drink some of the soup before giving up and screwing the lid back on when the thermos was half-empty. He certainly wasn't consuming it with his usualy gusto but it made the half-elf feel a little better knowing he had something in his stomach now.

"Thanks that was... nice." Riz rubbed a hand over his face, leaving the thermos on the couch where he'd been sitting as he skootched over to where Fabian was instead. The rogue fully clambering over his leg to curl up on his lap with his head pillowed against the arm-rest of the couch.

Fabian had frozen when Riz started climbing over him, a protest at the action dying the back of his throat when his smaller teammate tucked himself into a tight circle and closed his eyes. The fighters arm hovering in the air above him for a long moment before he brought it back down to rest against his side where he could feel his chest rising and falling with every breath.

The goblin was still very warm to the touch, nowhere near as bad as he'd been when he tried to shove them out the door earlier but it was still concerning. The cuddling was also rather out of character, sure Riz would climb all over them whenever he was awake but when sleeping he tended not to want anything to do with anyone. Even during sleepovers he would post himself up nearby but not quite touching any of his teammates as he dozed. Fabian decided to chalk it up to Riz probably being still a little delerious and weird from the fever and didn't try to shove him away.

There was only one small problem he found himself confronting now though. He had been planing on leaving once he dropped off the soup but he couldnt very well wake Riz if he had fallen back asleep. The fighter ended up trapped there until morning when Riz's fever finally broke and the goblin had slunk away from him in mortified embarasment. Fabian complaining bitterly of the cramp in his neck from sleeping in a seated position for days afterwards.

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

Midnight Prayer | One Shot

Pairing: Astarion x Dark Urge / Tiny bit of Enver Gortash x Dark Urge

Chapter Count: One Shot | Read on AO3 Word Count: 4,016

Summary: Takes place during the events of Baldur's Gate 3 after Gortash's coronation in Act 3. Explores the romance between Astarion and the Dark Urge after the implications of a past relationship between the Dark Urge and Enver Gortash are made known. Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, Mentions of Violence, Soft Astarion, Spoilers for the Dark Urge and BG3 in general, Dark Urge as Original Female Character Rating: Mature

Author Note: Those new lines in Patch 6 between Durge and Gortash are to blame for this. Plus the fact that I adore the Astarion x Dark Urge dynamic because they're on the same level, meaning they're both barely functioning beings who no business getting into a relationship and yet they make it work. Also, Astarion gets to be the supportive one when Durge goes off the rails.

All these idiots live rent free in my head and I had this scene that just wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it out. This is a one-shot based on the same Durge MC, Eli, as my other ongoing fic - which I have not updated in some time, and I am sorry for that. Have some brainrot to make up for it! This is grade-A mushy, soft garbage.

Sleep was difficult to find as Eli lay on the stiff makeshift cot. Her glassy half-focused eyes were fixed on the patchwork ceiling of Astarion’s tent as her mind coiled around and around, like a snake trying to suffocate itself. Her thoughts were circular, aimless and chaotic as she chased the ghosts of memories that always haunted her nights.

Sleeplessness was nothing new, and Eli’s propensity for restlessness and nightmares was well known throughout camp. She had a tendency to toss and turn as rest evaded her, and when the darkness of slumber finally overtook her in the small hours of mornings it was never peaceful. She was often agitated and unsettled, mumbling low to herself until the shock of some cruel fever dream sent her into an outburst of screams as she flailed and fought to rouse herself from whatever terror had uncaged itself in her mind.

She’d wake shivering, breathing as if she were fighting for her life against legions of the Absolute rather than visions within her own mind. He was always there, though, whispering soothing reminders that they were safe. That they were together. That the horrors inside her broken mind were toothless phantoms. Remnants of a fractured past she could only catch flashes of.

She’d offered on many occasions to sleep alone, saying it made little sense for both Astarion and her to suffer because of her tortuous insomnia. He’d been firm in his refusals and finally told her that if she didn’t stop saying such ludicrous nonsense he’d figure out how to charm one of Gale’s used socks to jump down her throat every time she mentioned the idea.

Gods, was she thankful for that absurd and stubborn man.

She turned her head, eyes focusing on the pale elf who slept beside her. They’d settled into a habit of overnighting in his tent due to the plank of wood that served as a haphazard bed. Like her, Astarion’s sleep could be troubled, disturbed by his own breeds of monsters that lurked around the corners in his brain. His past was filled with grim and vicious memories. What small comforts he had been able to acquire over the past 200 years were things he clung to like life rafts upon a boiling and thrashing ocean. The stiff plank he slept on brought him a strange sort of peacefulness. He’d told her once that the only soft bed he’d been allowed to use while under Cazador’s control was the large plush bed in the palace’s guest room. The room where he and the other spawn “entertained” those who were brought back for Cazador to feast upon.

His bed in the dorms had been stiff and old, and yet he’d far preferred it to the lavish guest bed. Sleeping on something too downy and cushioned reminded him of the countless nights he’d spent being smothered into a pliable mattress by whatever piece of transient garbage he’d lured back to the palace. They’d have their way with him while he’d disassociate, his body working through the motions of sex while his mind walled itself off. It had become second nature to disconnect himself from the present the moment he slumped onto that soft bed.

It was a cruel byproduct of his torment that laying on comfortable bedding triggered a deep seeded anxiety in him, but Eli honestly didn’t mind the stiff makeshift cot Astarion had set up in his tent for them. Her body recalled sleeping on worse, even if her mind didn’t clearly remember the details. Astarion had even started laying down a thin bedroll atop the plank once their shared sleeping arrangements became a regular thing. It had been completely unprompted. One evening she’d entered his tent and it had simply been there, an unspoken acknowledgement of the validity of their relationship.

They were both uncouth morons when it came to navigating the delicacies and emotions of romantic relationships. They’d been quick to indulge in one another physically, the both of them looking to find refuge from the specters of their pasts in one another’s arms. They hadn’t meant for it to mean anything, and yet they’d kept seeking one another out - drawn together like kobolds are drawn to shiny objects. They’d tried ignoring their growing affections, but neither one of them were particularly good at pretending to be nonchalant and stable. Primarily because neither one of them really knew what that looked like.

Astarion had confessed first, admitting to his initially manipulative intentions with her and revealing truths about his enslavement to Cazador that made her heart ache for him. Eli knew, instinctively, that empathy was not an emotion she was incredibly familiar with. It made her anxious, feeling for someone else. And yet, when Astarion had said he wanted something real with her, she’d felt an almost wild desperation surge to life within herself. She wanted that, too. With him.

A cruel and vicious voice at the back of her mind had admonished her for her pathetic weakness. She should be punished, skinned alive for allowing herself to feel this kind of fondness and yearning for someone else. Once, she had been worshiped as a god by those around her. Once, she had been feared and her name whispered in awe and horror. Once, she had been something powerful, something violent and vicious, a conduit of destruction and carnage. Though the details were fractured, scattered about her ruined brain like shards of glass, she knew instinctually that she was a child of slaughter and that the bonds of mortals should have been beneath her.

But that didn’t stop her. Perhaps…perhaps she could be different. Something else. Something that was valued as more than just a weapon. Something that wasn’t just a means to an end. Something that didn’t need to butcher and rip the world inside out in order to be loved.

She’d pushed the Urge down, beating it back as she confessed her own affections for Astarion.

That had been some weeks ago, back in the Shadowlands. Now, they were just outside Baldur’s Gate, and things were…good between them. To her never-ending astonishment.

Her eyes focused on the sleeping elf next to her. He looked so peaceful, the worried lines of his face smooth and serene at rest. He was pallid, pretty and perfect like a cadaver forever tranquil. Just one stab, a stake through the heart and he’d always be like this – he’d never know torment or despair again. No one would ever hurt him.

She took a long, slow breath and banished the intrusive thoughts back to the shadows of her mind where they always lingered. She would never…she couldn’t…gods, she hated those thoughts that never let her be. They filled her with a sick guilt as she recalled nights tied up, howling and screaming and raging as she spat out all the ways she’d flay and ruin his beautiful body. Afterwards, once the Urges had quieted, Astarion would simply laugh as he cut her bonds, always joking about how you had to pay good coin for degradation like that in the city. He’d hold her until she calmed, the both of them quiet, content to just be together for one more day.

They shouldn’t work, not as a couple or as anything else, really. They were barely functional as individuals. Together, they should have been about as operational as a dumpster that was missing one wheel and was on fire. But they did work. They were careful with the broken pieces of each other, treating them with reverence and respect. They understood pain all too well, and not just the physical kind but the raw and panicked pain of having everything you valued ripped away. Of having your very self torn from your control…the pain of being used and the fear that no matter how loud you screamed or how hard you fought it would happen again.

The fear that you would never be anything more than a tool.

And so they were gentle with one another, in a way only reserved for them. Careful touches and trusting hands, concerned glances and warm smiles, constant wordless affirmations that they were at one another’s backs - that when one of them crumbled the other would be there to help build them back up, attentively and without judgement.

Neither of them knew what they were doing. Their combined histories with healthy relationships added up to an unsurprising number of zero. Astarion had admitted to her that he couldn’t remember ever bedding the same person twice. And Eli…well, she couldn’t remember anything, frankly. Her memories of past lovers were nonexistent…at least…

At least until today. Today, when they’d finally met the infamous Enver Gortash.

The name had always struck her as strange, from the first time she heard it when Karlach told Eli about the tiefling had acquired her infernal engine. The name had stirred something in her brain, like a familiar tune that she couldn’t remember the words for. And every time someone mentioned him, that sense grew stronger. It was as if there was a crack in her skull and every time she’d reach for that sense of familiarity, it would leak out and away just beyond reach.

Until today, when they stood in the opulent and grand hall of Wyrm’s Rock Fortress, surrounded by the elite of Baldur’s Gate, and she finally saw the man who had wrought so much suffering not only upon the city and the coast, but on her friends…

The flash in his eyes when they met hers…a sense of knowing, a sting of excitement. That spark of familiarity suddenly blazed hot and she knew this man was not a stranger. Not to her…

“If you keep staring, darling, I’m going to start charging you for the privilege,” a soft and slightly chiding voice lurched her back into the present.

Eli flinched, startled, blinking away the haze of her thoughts and focusing on Astarion, who now was peering at her through half-lidded and slightly weary eyes. He’d been sleeping with an arm draped across her waist – Astarion had grown fond of resting with an arm or a hand touching her, and she liked it, too. It was comforting.

He trailed his hand along her side in a calming manner, brows furrowing slightly with a hint of concern.

“Sorry,” Eli said with a slight yawn. “I was worlds away.” She gave him a small, tired smile as she reached out and brushed her fingers against the ruffles of his shirt, mindlessly beginning to fiddle with the cloth.

Astarion’s hand slid to her back, pulling her closer until her head was tucked below his chin and he could rest with his cheek against her silvery hair.

Eli could feel the soft rumble of his voice vibrate up from his chest as he chuckled quietly. “I’ve been told I have that effect on people,” he mumbled cheerily as his other hand began to gently brush through her hair, fingers carefully smoothing out any snarls as he stroked back and forth.

She hummed appreciatively, breathing deep and feeling eased by the familiar scent of rosemary and bergamot. “And who told you that?” she asked, teasingly.

“Hmm,” he pondered, running a dexterous finger along the side of her ear, causing goosebumps to prick along her arms. “I think it was you,” he mused slyly before his voice dipped lower into a growl and she felt his breath warm against her ear. “You remember, don’t you? That one night you told me I ravished you so thoroughly your soul left your body.”

He couldn’t see Eli’s exaggerated eye roll, but he could hear the grin in her voice as she responded. “I seem to remember that very same night you saying I exhausted you into delirium,” she teased, poking tenderly at his chest. “In the best way possible, of course,” Eli smirked.

Astarion sighed, the hand on her back drawing aimless circles as he murmured, “I do miss our nighttime trysts.”

Eli smiled, nuzzling into the crook of his neck and placing a light kiss there. “You know what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or some such bullshit like that…”

“They sound awfully boring, whoever they are.” The vampire hummed low in his throat, kicking a leg over her waist and hooking his foot between her legs at her knees so that they were tangled together in a possessive embrace.

Eli just chuckled. They’d backed off the sexual aspects of their relationship for now, the both of them having their own flavors of hang ups that they needed to sort through. For Eli, that meant parsing through her strange, sometimes disturbing Urges which continued to insist that the lines between butchery and eroticism were blurred. Bloodplay was one thing, and that would likely remain a happy little staple in their titillating toolbox once they were ready to be that physically intimate again. But Eli had…other thoughts. Thoughts she wasn’t exactly comfortable with. Darker ones that bubbled up at extremely inopportune times and had her questioning whether she really wanted to shed light on her obscured past.

She breathed in Astarion’s scent, grounding herself in the now and pushing those musing away for another day. The desire between Eli and Astarion had not diminished, and on more than one occasion they had teetered precariously on the boundaries they’d set and wondering whether they should just say fuck it and…well…fuck. They’d always talk themselves down from the ledge, though, comfortable in the knwoeldge that when it did happen it would be earthshattering.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, love?” Astarion’s voice held a note of worry and Eli realized she’d been drifting off into the confines of her own brain again.

“Everything,” she sighed, frustrated with herself.

Astarion was silent for a moment, considering. The hand in her hair stilled while the one on her back pulled her in a bit tighter. “Is it…” he began, then paused a bit uncertainly, hesitant with his question. “Are you thinking about today? About…Gortash?”

He said the name so quietly that it would have been inaudible had they not been so closely pressed together. Eli wasn’t surprised about the question. She’d been acutely aware of how Astarion’s eyes never left her as she spoke with the newly crowned Archduke of Baldur’s Gate earlier that day. How he had discreetly positioned himself closely behind her, just off to her right. How he’d tensed, fingers ghosting near the hilt of a hidden dagger when Gortash said he’d always liked Eli. How his gaze darkened and his jaw tightened as Astarion sized the man up from across the hall before they left.

She knew this was a delicate situation for the vampire. Astarion despised showing any sort of vulnerability that could be construed as a reason for pity. Vulnerability, in general, was something he was still figuring out how to navigate after two centuries of living in an environment where anything and everything that could be used against him was twisted into a tool for subjugation and pain. Even with her, there were times when he wouldn’t let his walls come down, needing space to sort through his own internal barriers before he was ready to open up. Eli didn’t mind, and would give him all the time and space he needed. And bit by bit it became easier, for the both of them.

“That…yes,” she admitted, wanting to be truthful with him.

It wasn’t just Gortash, though. It was what he had told her, about Eli’s role in the whole Cult of the Absolute fraud. It was difficult for her to reconcile what she had apparently done with who she was now…the misery she’d set in motion. The lives she had destroyed. She shut her eyes and pressed closer to Astarion, seeking comfort in the cool of his skin against the inferno she felt inside.

He hugged her close, voicing a thought that had been gnawing away at his insides all day. “Were the two of you…close? Like us?”

The tentative, halting way in which he asked squeezed at her heart. As if he were bracing himself for something terrible, for something that would rip her away from him, just like everything else he’d ever given a damn about.

She thought for a while, mulling over the question. There was still so much that she didn’t know about who she was. Who she had been. She’d tell him what she could, though. He deserved that.

“I think we were. Close, I mean,” she clarified when she felt Astarion stiffen anxiously. “Not like us, though.”

She pulled her head back, out from under his chin, so she could see his face and meet his gaze with her own. Astarion’s eyes were round and distressed, the pinch between his brows furrowed and the lines of his face were tense. His eyes searched her own, desperately wanting to know who that man was to her while also fearing the answer.

Eli smiled warmly, bringing her hand up to brush one of his white curls behind his ear. His face softened slightly at her touch while the hand on her back clutched at her shirt as if to hold her here with him.

“There’s still so much darkness in my memory. But, there are things that have come back in flashes and fragments,” she explained, holding his gaze as her finger trailed to the edge of his eyebrow. “And while I’m not wholly sure what Gortash and I were to one another, I know it wasn’t like this.” Her hand came to rest on his cheek, thumb gently caressing his face near the corner of his mouth.

“Not like us,” she affirmed with a tenderness that allowed Astarion to relax, the stiffness easing out of him as the hint of a smile twitched at his lips. “He knew what happened to me,” she said softly, putting into words a thought that had been lingering at the back of her mind.

“He knew what happened to me, and he welcomed the person who did it into his confidence,” she said with a tinge of sadness to her voice. There was an ache of betrayal behind her words, and thought she didn’t fully understand everything her history with Gortash entailed, she understood this. “He stood by while I was unmade. While everything I was, the person he claims to care for, was brutalized and decimated.”

Eli’s words took on a cold edge, sharp as a shard of ice. Astarion listened intently, his breath caught at the back of his throat. He ached to pull her back into him, to wrap her up in his arms and shut the world out. Instead, he placed his hand on the back of her own and intertwined his fingers with hers, holding it against his cheek as Eli spoke.

“When I woke up on the nautiloid, I was nothing. Just the discarded scraps of whoever I had been. I had been thrown away. And nobody came looking for me.” She paused, her eyes flicking down in a brief moment of uncertainty.

There were some truths between them that had still gone unsaid. Truths that neither of them were ready to admit, and some that simply didn’t need words to be understood. Not this, though. This, she wanted him to hear.

“Since then, it’s been difficult not to think of myself as damaged goods. Something that was used up until it broke and was discarded.” She felt Astarion squeeze her hand and she looked back to him. There was a pang of recognition in his red eyes. “Everyone who I spoke to about my…urges, they all confirmed that there was something very wrong with me, even if they sympathized. Everyone except you.”

She paused, brushing her thumb once more against his face before she lifted her hand from him and took his own hand in hers. She pulled it to her lips, lightly kissing his knuckles while he stared at her, afraid to take his eyes off her for fear that she and this moment might evaporate if he did. He had stopped breathing, which luckily was not something he necessarily needed to do in order to maintain his existence.

Eli searched his face as Astarion waited for her to go on, breathless and just a tiny bit desperate to hear what she would say next. She wondered if he understood just how much it meant to her to have someone who didn’t see the wreck that she was when they looked at her. Someone who didn’t see a monster and only saw her, broken pieces be damned.

She thought he probably did…

“You were the only one who encouraged me to simply be whoever I was, darkness and all. I know at the time you were probably just looking to entertain yourself with whatever chaos and bloodshed I could cause,” she laughed and the expression on Astarion’s face melted into one of complete adoration.

“Guilty,” Astarion admitted with a laugh of his own. “And you haven’t disappointed,” he added softly, brushing a knuckle back up against her lips with delicate reverence.

She kissed at it, holding his tender gaze. “I don’t think you know how much that meant to me, though. And then later, when I was at my worst, you stayed by me and took care of me and you never stopped.”

Eli swallowed down the lump in her throat and blinked away the warmth that was threatening at her eyes.

“Nothing else could be like us, because no one has ever cared about me like you,” she concluded, smiling softly and whispering the words with the sincerity of a prayer.

Astarion stared at Eli for a long moment, emotions colliding and burning in his chest with so much vigor he was surprised his dead heart didn’t start beating again. He felt elated and awed by what she’d said. So much so that he was struck speechless and could only play her words over and over again in his mind, wanting to capture them perfectly and tuck them somewhere deep inside himself where no one could reach to steal them away. He couldn’t recall anyone ever saying anything to him that made him feel so cherished and significant. He traced the planes of her face with eyes that were beginning to wet as he tried to clear his throat and failed.

Eli watched Astarion carefully for a moment before her eyes widened in concern and she lifted a hand to him, carding it gently through his curled hair.

“Oh shit, did I break you?” she asked, only half joking as she stroked her hand through his hair.

The feel of it helped to calm him as a wide smile spread over his face, eyes half-lidded and looking at Eli like she was the most precious thing he’d ever seen.

“Come here you sweet, silly thing,” Astarion said, voice low and underpinned with a raw adoration that caused a flutter to take up in Eli’s chest.

He pulled her into a needy embrace; one hand placed softly in her hair as he tucked her head back under his chin, the other hand tightening around the small of her back to hold her close. He kissed the top of her head and breathed in slow, savoring her scent. She’d always smelled like wildflowers and the cool mist before a storm, like something exciting and freeing.

“Gods, you’re incredible,” he breathed, wondering what in the hells he had ever done in his irrelevant life to deserve her admiration. “I don’t think I’m ever going to want to let you go, my love.”

Eli wrapped her arms around him and for a moment she felt safe, secure and at peace.

“Then don’t,” she whispered against him.

They stayed wrapped up in one another until dawn, thankful to have one more day and hopeful for so many more.

[devotion-disorder]

I wanna put a leash on Asa

we learn something new about ourselves everyday! :D

[falsemilkbun]

Haven't You Heard the Word of Your Body? (ch. 1 rough draft)

I enjoy sharing process stuff and I'm still on my forty eight hour handgun purchase wait for my archive of our own account, so here's a rough draft of the first chapter of my run at applying a variation on omegaverse to elves. There's no inny-outy in this part, no one has boobs, I can put it on here...

This kept happening. They would encounter a monster, a fight would ensue, and the captain would deplete his mana stores because, as Kabru was learning through experience, he was no good at judging his own limits. He would march past the point of exhaustion. He would forget - or, worse, refuse - food and water. He was an absolute pain to put down to sleep. All these things had become Kabru’s responsibility, at least for the week it took Captain Mithrun’s team to reach them down in the depths of the dungeon.

It was getting worse, too. He grew weaker every time, and the periods during which he could be considered recovered got shorter and shorter. On that day, it had already happened twice when Kabru found himself ducking under Mithrun’s swooning body to catch him. Elves were lightweight, which was a blessing of a kind, but he was dead weight this time. His arms had lost the strength, or maybe the coordination, or even both, to grip anything. He couldn’t be slung over Kabru’s back, he had to be carried folded up against his chest like a little child. The most the Canaries’ captain could manage was to curl his body inward, pressing his pained face against Kabru’s chestplate.

This was more serious than mana exhaustion. He was sick, and Kabru had even less experience in nursing than he had in cooking.

The sweat crystalizing to his hair and the way his breath turned bright, solid white were visible signals but Kabru could feel the fever burning through the body in his arms. How long had he been sick? Was it the cold, or had he been unwell for days and never realized or said anything?

No matter. In the present moment, Kabru needed solutions to problems and not answers to questions, and the solution to their main problem would be finding a place to rest.

It didn’t take long to find one. He must have really wanted it.

Even if Mithrun had warned him not to want for too much, how could he be expected to stop? He had needs, and unlike Mithrun his mind and his heart registered them.

The shelter that the dungeon provided for them was too perfect. The rough wooden door was ajar, even, and he didn’t even have to set Mithrun down to toe it open and step inside. It as a lot like a sparse, one-room home, though the exterior consisted of little more than a shingled outcropping from the dungeon wall that shielded a pile of firewood from the ever-falling snow.

It wasn’t frigid in the shelter, but it certainly wasn’t toasty warm, either.

There was a bed, a narrow one dressed sparingly in a sheet over straw bedding, and he rolled Mithrun on to this. The elf immediately curled in on himself as if in pain, and Kabru asked his forgiveness to get water and light a lamp so that he could start treating him. 

Water was easy. The dungeon had provided it in the form of a basin on the floor that filled endlessly from the stone mouth of a spigot in the wall in the shape of a lion’s head. It was clear and cool and Kabru used it to soak the spare articles of clothes he could spare from his pack. He wasn’t thinking about fever so much as heatstroke when he did this, but he was forced by necessity to assume that the conditions were similar enough that he might as well try. He left the soaked rags draping over the edge of the basin and used a stout sprig of straw from the bed and the fire starter in his pack to light the  lamps on the walls.

Mithrun was watching him now, he discovered. His face was in full red flush and his eye was wide.

“It’s all right,” Kabru said, out of habit. He couldn’t be sure Mithrun knew or cared he was in danger. He stooped by the bed and pushed on Mithrun’s shoulder to turn him over onto his back. There was no resistance. “I have to remove some of your clothes to treat you. Is that all right?”

No response. Mithrun’s eye had closed again, and he seemed most focused on drawing and expelling breath and enduring whatever pain was subtly contorting his face. He did experience discomfort, Kabru had observed, just not any immediate motivation to resolve it.

“Captain?” He had to try again.

Nothing. No acknowledgement but a gasp that shuddered through him and dramatically raised his slight chest. Sometimes, having been raised with elves, KAbru could forget how small they were, how frail they looked. What he’d mistaken for uncharacteristic toughness on Mithrun’s part had been a lack of care for his own wellbeing, after all. Elves weren’t hardy, the danger to him was very real.

Well. If it turned out that losing his clothes was the one thing he could still care about, then he could be angry about it later.

“Whatever.” Kabru sighed. Mithrun wasn’t even opening his eye at that point. If he was going to be speaking to himself alone, there wasn’t any need for considerate speech. 

He exposed Mithrun’s throat first, then wrestled him lightly around to pull his tunic over his head. Mithrun cringed when he touched him, but there was no way to be sure if he did this as any kind of protest to the treatment. Kabru convinced himself, for the sake of having the wherewithal to continue, that he was simply dazed and uncomfortable. All he knew was someone was manhandling him and shifting him around when his body needed rest, that was all.

And even if it wasn’t…

But it was. It couldn’t be anything else. 

The expanse of Mithrun’s body left bare by the Canary armor under his tunic was scattered with pale scars. He was like Milsril, chewed up by his dedication to the Canaries’ cause. The slim lines where his skin had knitted itself back together caught the light from the lamps and turned it silvery.

That was routine enough. He was a soldier, his career was impossibly long to Kabru’s mind. It shouldn’t be distracting.

Kabru stripped the upper portion of Mithrun’s armor next, and the silver-threaded flesh of his chest swelled and rose to his palm when he slid a hand under the stiffened spider silk to lift it away. It was firm and smooth and furnace hot.

Behind the wall of his ribcage, his heartbeat was frantic.

There really was something wrong with his body, not just his attitude, like Kabru had suspected. There had to be. This was too sudden and severe for any other explanation to apply. Wracking his brain for any monstrous or magical effects that could bring on such a condition turned up nothing.

Was he simply frail after all he’d been through, pushing past his compromised stamina to achieve the only goal he had left? He looked it, flushed and breathless and half-stripped on a bed built for one person almost twice his size.

The cool air in the shelter would help, surely.

Kabru went to the basin and took two cloths back to the bed, a smaller one to drape across Mithrun’s throat and a broader one to put under his arms and across his chest. The chill must have shocked him, because his eyebrows knotted up and he made a sound like someone trying to cry out in their sleep.

“Easy, I’m helping you.” He felt like his foster mother in that moment, speaking to him before he trusted her. Patient and kind. Even if he’d never go ‘home’ to her if he could help it, he couldn’t convince himself that her love for him wasn’t genuine. Or that he was echoing her words out of sheer habit. “You’ll start to feel better soon. Just lie still and don’t stress your body any further.”

He took water from the basin in one of the tin cups in his mess kit and coaxed Mithrun into sitting up enough to drink from it without choking. Or, really, he scooped and hoisted him into such a position and let the hot frame of his body rest against him while he drank. His eye, open but just barely, was a watchful sliver reflecting the light like his scars had. He seemed just a little more lucid, and Kabru felt proud.

“Captain?”

No words, but the tarnished circle of Mithrun’s iris did glide in the direction of Kabru’s face. He could at least recognize that Kabru was speaking to him. That was a good sign.

He brought him more water and wet down the cloth for his throat again. When he returned to Mithrun’s side, he found himself pressed on by a body insistent that he hold it up with his own.

Was he one of those people who got needy when they were sick? That would be bothersome.

“Are you cold?” Kabru asked. 

Waves the color of fog rasped on steel when Mithrun shook his head. He was looking up at Kabru again, his expression open in a way Kabru might have called expectant if he believed Mithrun could expect anything from anyone.

“Lie down, then.” Kabru helped him. “I’m going to finish… dressing you for sleep, if that’s all right. Is it?”

“Yes.” The word was almost a breath, but it came without hesitation or consideration. He’d been understood, whatever faculties Mithrun had for protecting his dignity were engaged.

The rest of the armor came off, then Mithrun’s boots, and the hose he laced these over. Mithrun twisted and drew hissing breaths all through this process, but he didn’t explicitly protest.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No.”

“Then stop squirming.” Kabru let the last of Mithrun’s proper clothes drop to the floor. The first thing he noticed once that was done was a dramatic splotch of wetness soaking through his underpants. On the one hand, this felt like an inevitable escalation. On the other, cleaning another grown man up like a toddler was almost too much to tolerate.

Still, Kabru couldn’t get angry if he tried. It was no one’s fault. Mithrun was unwell and couldn’t care for himself besides, and Kabru was still learning how to care for him. It was fine.

Really.

If he didn’t keep reminding himself of that, he was going to lose it before the week was out.

There was clean water, there were things that counted as wash cloths if he didn’t think too hard about it, and it would be unconscionable to not help him.  He hooked his thumbs in the sides of Mithrun’s underpants and pulled down hard, shocked but not unpleasantly when Mithrun lifted his hips to help him. If that was all, it would have been fine.

Mithrun’s head rolled back, exposing the underside of his chin, and he breathed a sigh that carried his voice. The cloth unstuck itself from him and came away with a shivering strand of viscous fluid clinging to it. 

Kabru, even under pain of torture in the West, would only ever have admitted to looking for a fraction of a second. That may not help his case, considering that elves were primarily hairless past their necklines and this left absolutely nothing up for interpretation. 

This would have marked him as a bastard for certain. No noble house would try to solicit matches for such a son, so they hardly appeared except in cases of infidelity. It was their bodies that did the soliciting, and they did it in a way that was not within their control. And they did it with men. Such a son wouldn’t be a pruned branch on the family tree, but the quality of any grafts couldn’t be assured. He would be an inconvenience, and a shame besides.

Kabru had heard - reading on the topic was scarce, for predictable reasons - several accounts of what was done with these sons. A mother in dire need might sell him. A family lacking in conscience might abandon him with another family and call it charity. If he were lovely and fair like his mother, they might put him to other purposes besides the maintenance of the lineage.

Press him into service of the Queen, good service doing good work. And if he died, well, he died as an expression of the house’s loyalty. His contribution could be controlled in this way.

“I’m sorry!” The anger that had risen up from Kabru’s chest and into his head bled through into the words and made them sound strange. He had to try again, even if Mithrun wouldn’t care. “Captain, forgive me, I didn’t realize. Forgive me, too, because I don’t know how to help you.”

Mithrun drew several deep breaths. “No, it was my mistake not telling you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I told you, I need to know things like this.”

“Sometimes, when I can’t decide what would be best to do, I imagine the person that I was before I became like this.” Mithrun patted around on the bed for the edge of the sheet and used his limited energy to pull it over the lower half of his body. This was probably more for Kabru’s benefit than his own. “I ask myself what I can imagine him doing, and I couldn’t imagine him telling you.”

“Can you imagine why not?”

“I was conceited and ashamed of this body.” Mithrun rolled over onto one side, pulling the sheet with him. “I always suspected that the love I left behind chose my brother over me because I wasn’t the kind of man who could give her children.”

As if the story needed to be any more complicated.

“Well, I know now.” Kabru moved to the head of the bed and reached down to press the backside of his hand to Mithrun’s forehead. Still hot, but not dangerously so. “How are you feeling?”

“You may not want to touch me,” Mithrun said, the words coming through a throat pinched tight.

“Why is that?”

A long pause. Was Mithrun checking in with his past self?

“I don’t want anything,” Mithrun finally said, his arms crossing tight over his chest as he curled in on himself as if evading Kabru’s hand. “But my body wants you very badly right now, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“I-” Kabru’s mouth opened and closed like a fish flapping on a riverbank until covered it with his hand to spare himself the embarrassment of having been knocked speechless.

Talk about complicated.

[bellejolras]

ride this like a wave

Isildur comes down with a mysterious illness… luckily Arondir is a talented healer and there to help. Set in ROP 2x04.

(in other words, this is an insane sex pollen fic for a ship that doesn’t exist until now. enjoy!!!!)

for @tolkienpinupcalendar kinktober 2024

Rating: E(xplicit) / No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Arondir/Isildur (so far)

WC: 3384

Other tags: PWP, sex pollen, blowjobs, dubious consent, semi-public sex, gratuitous ocean metaphors, crack treated seriously, putting the ‘fun’ in sexual dysfunction

checking off kinktober prompts (4) handjobs, (5) clothed sex, (6) aftercare, (14) begging, (24) intoxicated sex

It has been hours since they survived a near-death encounter with mud, but Isildur can still feel it dry and crusting against his skin.

No amount of scrubbing with river water seemed to be able to thoroughly clean himself or his clothes, leaving a persistent film behind. The day has truly been one unpleasant experience after another: the mud, the beast, the freezing river, and now an itching, aching discomfort.

It had been bad enough to strip in the water, freezing and bare, vulnerable to the elements and the eyes of his friends should they look his way. Estrid had left them to bathe in peace, setting up a fire and their encampment for the night nearby, but Arondir is there in the water. So stoic he seemed as he washed, the dim light shining off his strong arms and broad back, focused and impervious to the elements. Isildur had stolen a glance and, reminded of his own mannish fragility, shuddered.

Now drying off in front of the cooking fire, Isildur is starting to feel a bit odd. His heartbeat is pounding, he is short of breath, getting chills, and not just from the cold air. In fact, sitting closer to the fire seems to make it worse.

“Smells delicious,” he says, the meat of the mud creature crackling over the scrapped-together fire pit.

Estrid raises an eyebrow. “You must really be starving,” she says, unimpressed.

Arondir grunts in amusement, but keeps his eyes on the fire, prodding it with a stick. A spray of sparks shoots up and he jumps out of the way to avoid the puffing smoke. He leans over to poke the fire from a different angle and readjust the embers, a breath away from Isildur. Isildur shivers.

Unsurpassed in his elven perception, Arondir turns to look at him. “Cold?”

Isildur rubs his hands together by the fire, but the heat doesn’t seem to seep in. “Just the mud. I’m still drying,” he answers, hoping it’s the truth. He can’t stand the thought of having a fever out here in the wild, with danger lurking literally at every turn.

Arondir nods, and goes back to stoking the flames. “I feel it too,” he says. “Something weird in that pit. Nasty stuff.” With his free hand, he flicks a missed spot of dried mud off the front of his armor. It sizzles as it lands in the fire, as though still wet.

Isildur wraps his cloak tighter around himself and tries to remember how to breathe.

The meat is, as Estrid predicted, awful. Nothing worse than a mud beast steak with no seasoning. But food is food, and Isildur is grateful to have it.

It doesn’t make him feel any better, though. If anything, he feels worse. His head is pounding now, he’s beginning to sweat despite the cold, and his heart is still racing. He puts his head down to his hands, suddenly, rubbing his face and trying to take a deep breath.

When Arondir puts a hand on his shoulder, he nearly cries.

“Isildur,” he says quietly, nearly a whisper. “What is it?”

Isildur looks up at him, eyes wild, searching his face. Is it concern he reads on the elf’s face, or does he catch a glimpse of the same madness in Arondir’s eye? As quickly as the thought occurs, it’s gone. “I don’t know,” he rasps. “I need–” and suddenly breaks into a fit of coughing.

“Estrid! Can you get some water?”

The next thing Isildur knows, he’s lying on his back on the ground in their makeshift encampment, an elf gently pouring water into his mouth. There’s a blanket beneath him, protecting him from lying directly on the dirt. The enclosure is not much more than a tarp draped over sticks, but it offers some protection from the wild. And some privacy, Isildur thinks faintly. The water is cold, which is nice, but having Arondir so intimately near is oddly dizzying. Every nerve is on edge, and as the blood races through his body, heat pools in his groin. it must be an effect of the fever, but Isildur can’t recall this as a symptom before. Or maybe his mind is too foggy to think clearly. But when Arondir touches a hand to Isildur’s forehead, a moan escapes. Surely this isn’t a normal fever.

Arondir doesn’t pull away at the sound, though, but rather leans back in and brushes the damp hair off Isildur’s forehead. Isildur can feel the heat radiating off as Arondir leans in to whisper to him, something strange and foreign.

Isildur tries to focus on the words and not the feeling of Arondir’s breath hot on his cheek, but all his schooling fails him and the best he can tell is that it sounds like Quenya.

Arondir pauses, puts a hand back to Isildur’s face for a moment, and then sits back up.

“Isildur, I need you to disrobe”

Isildur’s eyes open wide and search Arondir’s face. “Disrobe?” This can’t be a good sign.

“I suspect poison, but I need to check for wounds. Rule out any injuries that could be causing this.”

Arondir helps him sit up, and shivering, Isildur pulls the still-drenched tunic off over his head. A breeze catches in the damp curls of hair on his chest, raising every follicle to a peak. He shivers, and looks up at Arondir kneeling by his side.

“Pants too”

Hesitantly, Isildur complies, undoing the waist tie and sliding the filthy material over his hips and down, past the stab wound from Estrid’s dagger only days before. He winces, hunching over, knowing Arondir can see.

But Arondir looks him over with only a glance, not appearing alarmed by the obvious injury in Isildur’s thigh.

There’s something much more prominent that catches his eye, a much more pressing matter. Not Isildur’s thigh, but rather between them.

read the rest on ao3!

[littlejuicebox]

Midwinter Carol 7 / The Interrogation

Pairing: Ascended Astarion x Female Elf Sorceress OC

Word Count: 2.3K

Story navigation: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Summary/Setting: Based on the prologue/premise from my OneShot "A Midwinter Carol."

Astarion and the OC broke up after his ascension. She left Baldur's Gate for fifteen years, only to return just recently. Following the events of "A Midwinter Carol," Ascended Astarion has been convinced to pursue a new beginning. Will he be able to change who he has become, with the help of his ex-lover? Or will he ultimately fall victim to his pride and desire for power?

Preview:

Another surge of acid through his veins. Another healing potion. The Lord sits quietly next to Ani and watches the slow rise and fall of her breath as if in contemplation. Her fever finally broke not long ago.  Her arm is still deteriorating. Astarion leans forward and brings his bloodied, cracked hand to gently stroke her cheek along that tiny patch of vitiligo. And then he lifts two fingers to his lips, kisses them, and presses those fingers against that same spot, thinking about how he used to kiss it morning and night. 

Warnings: This will be 18+ / in game spoilers / Eventual Smut / Angst, trauma, fluff / Gore / Violence / PTSD / Astarion's past trauma

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE.

A/N: And here comes AA with some absolutely unhinged behavior.

-----

At first, Astarion hires Delilah for several hours at a time. Typically, a half day, but sometimes more.

It’s always the same experience.

He pays her to morph into a likeness of Eirianwen, based on sketches from the Baldur’s Gate Gazette and his own descriptions. She never gets the vitiligo quite right, but the Ascendant, in his desperation, will take what he can get. 

In the beginning, he simply lays in bed as Delilah runs her fingers through his silver curls and hums. Sometimes he trances, sometimes he watches her without saying much at all. 

For the first time since Ani left, he experiences uninterrupted, nightmare-free sleep.

And the woman is smart enough to simply follow instructions and not pry. At least at the start..

Eventually, Astarion has Delilah make private calls to the Palace. He pays a ridiculous amount of gold for this, but it’s no matter. 

Most nights, she’s still a glorified sleep aid; other nights, he becomes more physical. But the voice and the vitiligo are wrong every time, and it takes weeks before he’s able to fully commit to the act. Even then, something feels not quite right. But it’s as close as he can get.

And then finally, several months after their peculiar agreement first began, Astarion, after far too many bottles of wine, reveals he’s a vampire to the shapeshifter.

“As in a true, blood-sucking vampire?” Delilah asks, eyebrows furrowed as she assesses the Lord. It’s a rare moment in which she’s in her own chosen form, rather than the likeness of Ani that he pays her for. 

“Something like that,” He laughs, though it comes out quite wry, “I can drink blood; I no longer need to for survival.”

“Show me,” She responds, her curiosity getting the better of her. Delilah is wholly aware she is flirting with danger, but she’s never been one to shy away from an opportunity, especially one that comes with the allure of money or power. 

Astarion stares at her for a long while, finishing off the final bits of his goblet, his thoughts entirely imperceptible. He taps his cup with his index finger as he tilts his head and watches the woman. She thinks he’s going to reject her request.

And then, surprisingly, he nods, “Very well. But you must morph, first.” 

Delilah obliges, and at first the Lord brushes her hair from her neck and moves to sink his fangs there. But he retracts at the last moment, shaking his head almost imperceptibly. 

It’s not really Ani, he reminds himself. 

After a brief pause and a sharp inhale, Astarion takes her hand and turns it, finding the pulse point on her wrist. He keeps his eyes locked onto the distorted appearance of his ex-lover as he bites into the changeling’s flesh.

And what a terrible decision that was. He’d just invited a devil onto his shoulder and a snake into his bed.

*

The constant bashing of Astarion’s fists sounds like a poorly played drum as he repeatedly swings into Edmund’s hanging body. The human is strung up by his arms in the office, dangling so that his toes barely brush the white marble floor. 

The bastard is annoyingly sturdy, and manages to stifle most of his grunts as the Ascendant continues his torment. This only angers Astarion further, and he begins to hit harder, now intentionally aiming for the man’s face every time and splattering dots of crimson around the room.

Great. He will have to call the servants into his private office to scrub the floor and walls. He might have to replace the curtains.

It’s clear that whoever turned this vampire has conditioned him quite well. It’s been an hour of repeated strikes and the human seems nowhere near his breaking point. 

Between the physical exertion of pummeling Edmund and the draining effects of his ring as Eirianwen continues to burn the poison through her system in the next room over, Astarion is beginning to tire. He is sure he must escalate his methods to rip any information from Edmund, but he refuses to give the spawn a single break in his torment.

So he barks an order at one of his own spawn standing guard not far behind him, “Thrak! Continue where I’ve left off. I have more important things to attend to than beating this disgusting vermin.” 

A final blow to Edmund’s face and then Astarion spins on his heels with a sneer, flicking his hand up to examine his cracked knuckles and bloodied nails in distaste. 

Thrak is a large half-orc with slashes running vertically down his chin. The marks are an intentional, cultural scarification, Astarion is told; his sister, Melga, has the same ones. 

Astarion focuses his eyes on Melga, where she is now watching her brother assault Edmund with mild interest. A few gestures of his hands, and the Vampire Lord communicates to the female orc that he wants to be informed if Edmund breaks. 

Melga quickly gestures her understanding. Astarion is not fluent in the sign language Thrak and Melga speak; it appears to be a mixture of Thieves Speak and something else he does not recognize. Perhaps they made it up themselves. But over the years, he has learned enough to get by and Thrak has always willingly worked as the translator. 

When the Ascendant first offered immortality to Thrak, the half-orc indicated he and his sister were a two for one deal. He would change with his sister or not at all; he hoped vampirism would restore the hearing she lost as a child. And the Ascendant, still thinking himself better than Cazador in that he did not change people against their will, agreed. 

Unfortunately, there are some conditions vampirism cannot fix.

*

Jaheira took leave to return home and check in on her wards. The druid indicated she needed to delve into her medicinal stores and confer with Halsin on the matter of Eirianwen’s affliction.

Mention of the wood elf’s name instantly caused Astarion to bristle. If Halsin had a solution, it would not be the first time the oversized elf helped Eirianwen in a way the vampire could not. The Ascendant is quite sure he loathes that man more than any of his other former campmates; he idly thinks it’s a bit of a shame it’s Edmund instead of Halsin strung up next door. 

Another surge of acid through his veins. Another healing potion. The Lord sits quietly next to Ani and watches the slow rise and fall of her breath as if in contemplation. Her fever finally broke not long ago. Her arm is still deteriorating.

Astarion leans forward and brings his bloodied, cracked hand to gently stroke her cheek along that tiny patch of vitiligo. And then he lifts two fingers to his lips, kisses them, and presses those fingers against that same spot, thinking about how he used to kiss it morning and night. 

Thrak continues to pound his massive fists into the foreign spawn next door, and now the Ascendant can hear the sounds of Edmund's resilience breaking. The pained grunts and sobs are music to his ears, and he smiles in sadistic delight at the spawn’s suffering as he simply lounges in his chair, continuing to watch the sorceress breathe. 

“We’ll figure this out, little love.” He whispers before he brings his hands together as if in prayer and analyzes the cries of agony from the next room. 

Not long now. 

*

He’s on the freezing marble floor. Cazador is straddled over him, pinning Astarion’s arms down with his knees. They’re in the spawn dormitory, in front of all his brothers and sisters. No one steps in to help him. 

In the end, it’s all about self-preservation, isn’t it? 

His master yanks at his silver curls and bends so close to Astarion’s face he can feel Cazador’s hot, disgusting breath on his skin.

“Where is it?!” The older vampire questions, pulling Astarion’s hair with vitriol and forcing a pained wail out of the spawn, “Where did you hide it?!”

“H-hide what? Master! Please, I don’t know what you’re–” 

A solid strike to Astarion’s face causes him to stop his defenses mid-sentence. 

“Petras! Leon! Bring me a barrel of water, rags, and a pillow case.” Cazador orders coolly, as his eyes briefly flicker to the elf’s siblings. The two other spawn quickly run to retrieve the requested items for their enraged Master. 

“You traitorous leech. Where is it?” Cazador asks through gritted teeth, gripping Astarion’s chin so tightly he is convinced the bones in his jaw are cracking under the force. 

He doesn’t know what it is. He doesn’t know where it is. If Astarion knew, he would’ve already spilled all his secrets. It never takes this much to rip a confession out of the elf nowadays. 

He’s stunned into silence, staring wide-eyed at the older vampire, unsure what to do or say to make this interrogation stop.

Nothing. There’s nothing he can do or say. Astarion knows it and the thought fills him with dread.

Cazador growls and spits in the elf’s face before shoving a cloth in Astarion’s mouth and completely shrouding him in darkness with the pillowcase. Leon and Petras are instructed to hold the elf’s limbs as he emits gagged screams of anguish. He tries to break away from his brothers, but it’s to no avail. 

He was always one of the weaker spawn.

Astarion’s screaming is stifled by a shock of icy water filling his nose and throat as Cazador begins to waterboard him. He doesn’t need to breathe, but the sensation alone is terrifying. The silver-haired spawn continues to thrash against his siblings as their Master enacts his violent punishment. It feels like it goes on forever. The entire barrel is emptied over him before Cazador stops.

Astarion knew it was mostly for show. Cazador often made an example out of him to deter anyone else from committing the same act he was blamed for.

In the end, Astarion was thrown into the kennels for further torture. He never truly knew what it was, though he suspects he found it much later.

*

The Ascendant is straddled over Edmund as Thrak and Melga hold onto the foreign spawn’s bound limbs. Long, pale fingers grip the vermin’s jaw, prying it open with nearly enough force to rip the mandible from its joint.

“Last chance. Who is your master?” Astarion asks, tone low and coming across as far too bored for the violence that has recently ensued within this room. He’s watching Edmund with expectant, cold eyes. 

“Fuck you!” Edmund responds in a venomous hiss, glaring up at the Vampire Lord with what little expression in his face he has left after the hours of repeated blows.

“Wrong answer.” The elf sighs, and then he procures a spoon from his pocket and forces it into the spawn’s mouth.

Astarion chuckles sadistically as Edmund begins to thrash and twist against the half-orcs. The spoon is quickly wedged underneath the spawn’s gumline, and the Ascendant begins to slowly pry out the traitor’s left fang, grinning all the while. 

He could do this much faster, of course, but what’s the fun in that? The bastard deserves to suffer. 

The bastard deserves to die. And he will. Just not yet. 

First, Astarion gets to have his fun. A chance for him to make someone bleed was a rare, delectable thing nowadays. The temptation was difficult for the Ascendant to resist.

Edmund is screaming now, flailing around in agony and fighting for an out. But it isn’t going to work; three on one is never truly a fair fight. 

Especially as a starved spawn. 

“WHO. IS. YOUR. MASTER?” Astarion bellows over the tortured, terrified wails of the spawn. His curls are falling out of place, dangling in front of his narrowed scarlet eyes and obscuring parts of his vision as he continues to slowly peel fang from flesh, undeterred by the useless, pitiful crying and bucking underneath him. 

Eventually the left fang pops out with a spatter of blood across Astarion’s hand and he scoffs in disdain before cleaning his hand on Edmund’s barely recognizable, heavily swollen face. 

Disgusting vermin. 

“FUCK YOU!” Edmund screams, but his voice cracks at the end and he is no longer able to hold in the tears rolling out of two swollen sockets. 

Astarion tuts his tongue against the roof of his mouth, as if disappointed. Then he sighs a long, belabored breath as he rolls his eyes at the spawn, “You are strong, Edmund, I must admit. But what you have in brawn, you certainly lack in brains, don’t you?”

And then the Ascendant abruptly plunges the spoon into the human’s gum line just above his right fang. Edmund jerks his head at the last moment and the dull instrument slices against his mouth and tongue, still causing a laceration due to the amount of force Astarion is using on the manufactured weapon. 

Blood quickly pools in Edmund’s mouth and he spits it at the silver-haired elf in a final act of defiance. 

The switch is instantly flipped.

Astarion’s face contorts with pure, unfiltered hate. His heart starts pounding in rapid fire. Whatever modicum of control he had over his violent desires instantly slips from his hands as his grip around the spoon tightens. 

He doesn’t realize he’s wrapping his hand around the spawn’s neck and crushing it with the full force of his Ascendant power. He cannot think past his red, blinding rage as he’s stabbing into Edmund’s chest with the blunted instrument. 

He pierces through the spawn’s flesh over and over and over and over. 

When the Ascendant finally gains control of his senses, the first thing he sees is Edmund’s mangled body beneath him and his hands coated in scarlet. The first thing he hears, however, is a woman’s scream ripping through the office. 

When Astarion jerks his head toward the source, he sees Ani standing in the doorway, both hands clasped over her mouth. 

He hates what he sees.

Terror. Pure terror. 

She’s terrified of him. And she runs.

[asimplearchivist]

❝ 𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝖘𝖑𝖊𝖕𝖙 . ❞

𝐂𝐇. ? 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐃. 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 ? 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐄𝐒.

[𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓼𝓽'𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽] [ 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 ] [ AO3 | SPOTIFY | PINTEREST ] summary ♜ ⤏ rook has experienced few but devastating losses during her life. she's not certain she can take even one more. ⤏ good thing varric tethras is as stubborn as a druffalo. pairing(s) ♜ varric tethras & rook (fenalan aldwir) word count ♜ 3.5k a/n ♜ [gif credit] | [divider credit] ⤏ spoiler warning: this contains spoilers for some of the clips that have been revealed since the embargo lifted for those who went to the pre-play event! please do not proceed if you're avoiding any spoilers about the prologue! ⤏ I am uncertain if and where this will fit into the greater scheme of things since there are several pieces we're still missing from the prologue of Veilguard. this may end up needing tweaking later, it might be better as an in-between UA scene, or it may be scrapped from the fanfic for my canon altogether—we'll see! ⤏ but, until then, I wanted to indulge in giving Varric some well-earned TLC and to explore his dynamic with my Rook, a Dalish Veil Jumper with the Spellblade specialization: Fenalan Aldwir. This was honestly such a delight to write. I've missed my babies. :') ♜ MASTERPOST ♜

“There’s nothing more that you can do for him, Rook.”

Logically, Fenalan knew that the other mage was right. Besides the sweat beading on her brow and the leaden exhaustion dragging her limbs, her Keeper’s stern advice never to overtax her mana supply due to the potentially devastating and long-term issues that the strain could pose floated unbidden through the back of her mind. But, given the circumstances, she could not readily dismiss the unsteady thrum of her apprehensive heart against the inside of her ribs.

Fenalan leaned all of her weight against the side of the bed since her knees were dangerously tottering on the verge of giving out completely. Her empty stomach had cramped since she’d started casting her limited experience with healing magic upon Varric’s wound in hopes of negating its worst effects before it had the chance to cause fever or become infected. The elf grimaced, her hands well past numb from the unceasing spell, and cast a glance towards the detective hovering in her periphery with a concerned wrinkle marring her smooth brow.

Neve had already completed the brunt of the work, taking care of all the cosmetic abrasions and hemorrhaging littering the dwarf’s body incurred from his tumble down the stairs, but she’d only been able to hold back the worst of the bleeding until Fenalan had awoken from the dream that had plagued her bout of unconsciousness…though perhaps it had been closer to a nightmare, in retrospect. The Dread Wolf, of all fucking people, digging his treacherous fingers into her mind? She shuddered still at the mere thought of her poor lot,  but she couldn’t afford to dwell on it now lest she crack under the pressure of all else that had been unexpectedly dumped upon her shoulders in the span of a few measly hours.

“Rook,” Neve repeated, her voice taking on a firmer edge. “At least sit.”

The Tevine leveraged a chair close enough for the Dalish to sink down into it. Fenalan was uncertain how long she had stood there. “‘Ma serannas,” she murmured, eyeing her patient.

Varric was deathly still, save the slow rise and fall of his exposed chest. She knew he would vehemently object to the ruination of his clothes, custom-tailored and as expensive as they were, so she had compromised with Neve to slip the shirt and coat from his torso once they had swiftly removed Fen’Harel’s bloody lyrium dagger from the wound and poured spells of regeneration into the puncture directly after to stave off the shock his body would experience. His skin was clammy, his face worryingly wan, but his pulse was steady even if it only pressed halfheartedly against her questing fingertips pressed against the inside of his wrist. He did not stir, even as she finally released her white-knuckled grasp of the Veil and braced her elbows against the edge of the mattress to drop her grimy face into her hands.

Neve nudged her shoulder to offer a strikingly ornate goblet filled with something dark and fragrant. A cursory whiff told Fenalan that it was likely an equal part mixture of a restorative potion and a port of unknown origin.

“You’ve already raided the Dread Wolf’s pantry?” Fenalan asked wryly, daring a sip and smacking her lips at the taste. Orlesian. It wasn’t half-bad, but the bitter earthy aftertaste certainly left something to be desired. It would nevertheless serve well enough to quell her frayed nerves and resupply her energy both.

“Kind of him to keep enough food on hand for all his guests,” Neve replied dryly.

“At least we’ll have something to eat while we figure all this shit out,” Fenalan sighed She leaned against the sturdy back of the chair, kicked off her boots, and lifted her socked feet to rest on the edge of the bed. The aching muscles sang with relief as blood flow resumed in earnest. “Nothing’s crept out of the woodwork to kill us while we sleep?”

“No. It seems we’re alone here—for the time being, at least.” Neve regarded the supine dwarf. “He looks a little better than he did before. I didn’t think you were a healer.”

“It’s not my specialty.” Fenalan was beginning to feel the full effects of the reminder of that fact right about then. “He still looks like he’s toeing death’s door to me.”

“He has a bit more color.” Neve leaned over and lightly touched the ragged flesh around the injury site. “You’ve done a marvelous job of sealing that off, Rook. Scarring from a wound like this can’t be avoided, but it won’t be nearly as bad as I feared. He should pull through, provided he rests enough. I’d give him at least a week before I’d suggest he try to stand.”

Fenalan swallowed a deep drag of her new contact’s likely unrecommended concoction. “I tried my best,” she responded under her breath. “Let’s hope it is enough.”

Neve eyed her for a moment, gauging. “You ought to get some rest of your own, Rook.”

“Sure.” She crossed one leg over the other. “I’ll get on that just as soon as I finish this.”

The detective’s brow wrinkled again. “I meant away from here. In a bed. You don’t honestly intend to stay there.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Fenalan leveled her with an unyielding stare. “And if you take the chair, I’m sleeping on the floor instead. Take your pick.”

“Rook…” the Tevine began, frowning, then seemed to think better of arguing with Varric’s appointed second in command—and friend to boot. She sighed. “Fine.”

Fenalan inclined her head towards the door. “Harding doing all right?”

“As well as can be expected. I don’t think she’s being honest about how well she feels, but that’s an issue we can address once we all recover from this.”

“We don’t have much time to spare,” the elf reminded her. “The sooner we can get back on our feet to do damage control, the better.”

“It can wait until you take a nap, at least.” Neve shook her head. “I can see why you two get along so well.”

“Lace is tenacious, I’ll give her that,” Fenalan shrugged.

“No, I meant you and Varric.” The Tevine folded her arms. “I think you’d both work yourselves into the ground before you called anything to quits if you feel it’s necessary.”

“It is necessary. We don’t know exactly what we’re facing,” Fenalan pointed out gravely.

“But you won’t be able to solve it if you’re half-dead on your feet trying to fight back against whatever those blighted monsters were,” Neve retorted.

Elgar’nan. Ghilan’nain. Names to which Fenalan had never expected to assign faces.

The elf released a long, heavy sigh. “I know.”

“We’ll be within earshot should you need us,” Neve told her. “Find us when you’re ready.”

“Will do.” Fenalan drained the rest of the cocktail as the detective headed for the door. “Thank you, Neve. I would thank you, but I suspect you would deny it.”

“I would.” Neve opened the door. “But you’re welcome, Rook.”

Fenalan set the goblet on the floor behind the chair’s legs, grasped one of Varric's cold hands, and tucked her chin against her collar. The blissfully dreamless oblivion welcoming her closed eyes was lovely, dark, and deep.

The twitch of chilled, blunt fingers clamping around her own roused Fenalan before the low, hoarse wheeze of the bed’s occupant did. “Rook.”

“Varric,” she rasped, instantly dropping her feet from the edge of his bed to sit up as she swiped the crust from her heavy-lidded eyes. She gave him a lingering once-over, taking in his pale face against the coarse hair of his beard. His hair was in dire need of a wash, his forehead gleamed with sweat, and his grip was far too weak for her comfort—but he had come through the worst of the entire ordeal no worse for wear given what could be expected from such a potentially grievous wound.

He was awake. He was alive. She had not lost him. That was enough.

The tightness in her chest gradually loosened with every labored but steady breath he drew into his rattling lungs. “...You look like shit.”

“Thanks. Pot meet kettle,” he remarked. He made to shift a bit to get more comfortable, but he winced as soon as he twisted his shoulders and thus jostled his bandaged torso. She leaned forward to cup a steady hand under his nape so she could flip and fluff the pillow for him. She swept his hair away from his damp neck and lowered his head back down with as much care as she could manage with her heart lodged firmly in the pit of her throat. She managed to do it all without giving into the tremor wracking her elbows and threatening to ricochet down into her hands. It gave him better leverage to gaze at her through glassy, dazed eyes. “Here I thought I would look as sunny as my disposition suggests.”

“It’s nothing new. Your age has been trying to catch up with you for at least as long as I’ve known you, old man.” Fenalan straightened, perched on the edge of her seat even though she draped her arms off her knees. “How are feeling?”

“As you so eloquently put it,” he drawled, “‘like shit.’”

“At least it isn’t ‘like death.’ You ventured dangerously close to it.” Fenalan lowered her chin to inspect the dried blood itching beneath her nails. “I cannot think of a worse idea than grappling with the Dread Wolf for his enchanted, world-ending ritual dagger. That certainly takes the cake, even over talking him out of his dastardly decade-long plot to use said dagger to tear down the Veil.”

Varric scoffed, but it tickled his undoubtedly dry throat and sent him into a wracking coughing fit. He clamped a palm over his wound as Fenalan snatched a waterskin from the side table and unstoppered it before holding it to his cracked lips to drink. He shooed her hands away once he had his fill and cleared his throat. His voice demonstrated a notable improvement now that he was no longer parched. “That’s worse than busting the scaffolding holding up an ancient statue imbued with probably enough arcane energy to flatten a mountaintop?”

“Touché.” She set the waterskin closer to the edge of the same table so he could reach it if he needed it. “But it really was a patchwork job for the weight of all that rested on it for his ritual. He really should have hired a carpenter.”

“Then we’d be ass-deep in demons.”

“I think I’d rather take that over this mess, honestly,” Fenalan muttered with a sigh, leaning back into the chair and pinching the bridge of her nose in a vain effort to dissuade the pressure building behind her eyes.

Varric squinted at her. “What do you mean? We stopped the ritual, didn’t we?”

Fenalan frowned. “You don’t remember?”

“Things got a little fuzzy after my friend stabbed me between the ribs, so forgive me if my memory’s a little patchy.” He huffed and shook his head, as though such a reprehensible action was no more offensive than having a tankard of ale spilled down the front of one’s favorite shirt. “What happened?”

“It’s likely a good thing you’re not standing,” Fenalan began slowly, pursing her lips as she gathered her scattered, racing thoughts. This is your responsibility now. Fenedhis. “How much do you know about the other elven gods?”

“Not a whole lot, other than from the few stories that survive. What’s left of the Inquisition has been conducting intensive research into ancient Arlathan ever since Chuckles dropped that revelation on us, but primary sources are scarce at best. You ought to know that better than most.”

“I do.” Fenalan swallowed. “Apparently he had them imprisoned…somewhere in the Fade? I’m still not exactly clear on that.”

He extended a finger. “I knew that much.”

“And they were…‘tyrannical, sadistic’ rulers wanting to be worshiped.”

A second joined the first. “Yep.”

“And they are blighted.”

His hand dropped to the sheet covering his belly as he stared at her. “Come again?”

“They’re blighted, Varric,” she repeated grimly.

“Please tell me you mean the ‘those blighted elven gods are assholes’ kind of blighted. And why are you using the present tense?”

Fenalan slumped forward and dragged a hand over her face.

“...Well, shit.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re sure we’re not dead?”

“Does this look like the loving embrace of the Maker’s bosom—or whatever you Andrastians believe—to you?”

“No, but it’s not the topside of Thedas, either.” He surveyed the room with a critical eye, grimacing at the strain of turning his head to and fro. “Rook…where are we?”

“Solas’ headquarters,” she informed him dryly. “The Lighthouse.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“I’m afraid not.”

“We’re in the Fade?”

She fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve to feel the familiar texture beneath her fingertips. “No, somewhere in between—or so I’ve been told.”

“The Crossroads, then.” Varric released a heavy sigh. “I’ve got to admit, I didn’t think I’d ever wind up back here.”

“You’ve been here before?”

“Not exactly.” He closed his eyes briefly before refocusing on her, more alert than before. “I told you about the day we found out Chuckles’ big secret, right?”

“The Inquisition was attending an enclave at Halamshiral,” she confirmed. “Orlais wanted it pulled under heel and Ferelden wanted it dissipated. The Chantry was caught in the middle of it all trying to mediate.”

“Right. I’m so glad you listen to my stories—see? It turns out that they’re all useful for something after all.”

“I never said they weren’t. You just use too much purple prose.” She nudged his ankle with her toe. “Go on.”

He exhaled heavily. “That wasn’t the first time we’d traveled through eluvians, or even passed through the Crossroads—although I’d never cared to repeat the experience, honestly—but it was the first time we ever saw glimpses of elven ruins between the mirrors. It was a network, all disjointed and labyrinthian…it was a clusterfuck, honestly.” Varric tipped his head back and stared up at the ceiling. “We were finding Qunari outposts left and right, dismantling them as we went to keep them from blowing up all the cultural centers of the known world. We were trying to figure out who in the Void this ‘agent of Fen’Harel’ character was that so benevolently decided to tip us off as to the Viddasala’s plan, and why there were all these connections to the ancient elves woven through all the stops. Puzzles and shit, history we didn’t understand. And, in the middle of all that…the Inquisitor was losing her arm.”

Fenalan watched a dour shadow pass over the dwarf’s face—an expression he only ever wore when he spoke of ill-fated friends and the travesties they suffered in his company. “The Anchor was consuming her.”

“It was eating her from the inside out, more like. Whatever kind of magic Solas had summoned to be able to enter the Fade was just short of corrosive to mortals. She wasn’t meant to bear the Mark—no one but he was—and she isn’t even a mage. And with him tucking tail as soon as he cleaned up his mess with Corypheus…” Varric ground his jaw. “...two years without him warding it nearly killed her before we ever got her to him. Not that we knew at the time that was his plan all along.”

Fenalan’s brow furrowed. “He set all that up to manipulate the Inquisitor into finding him? So he could…what, take the Anchor back after all that time?”

“He had Dread Wolf shit to do in the meantime, I guess.” Varric’s fingers tightened around the cotton. “He fixed it, in the end—if you could call petrifying what was left of her arm to crumble into dust ‘fixing it.’ I didn’t see him again until…all that happened. We’ve all been chasing him ever since, hoping to talk some sense into him. The Inquisitor insisted on that. Even after what he put her through, she still thinks there’s something left inside him to save.”

Fenalan’s lips thinned. “You wanted to redeem the same man who killed thousands by lack of foresight via a quick and quippy dialogue about changing his mind? You don’t seem as keen on the idea now as you were before.”

“We’ve already been through that song and dance,” he reminded her wryly. “Someone had to. The Inquisitor wasn’t here to do it, so I was the world’s next best shot. And she would’ve been inconsolable if I hadn’t given it an honest try. So much for that, though.”

“Would the results have been any different if she had been there? Why would she want to help him if he’s so dead set on destroying the world?”

Varric loosed another sigh, this time fretful, remorseful, and resigned all at once. “...I don’t know, Rook. She was closer to him than anyone else, except maybe the Kid—but maybe he doesn’t count since he could actually read the bastard’s mind. They were…close. It made me wonder sometimes. But if anyone could get through to him, it would be her.”

“Why? I thought he has a problem with humans.”

“Sibyl is…different.” Varric’s expression eased into the faint crinkling of affection. He so rarely used her real name—from protecting her or revering her, she was uncertain—that it took Fenalan aback at first. “She was from the very start, and that intrigued him at first. She didn’t speak a lick of Common when she got here, but she recognized enough El’vhen to get by until I caught her up to speed. It gave them something to bond over, and the rest is history.”

Fenalan’s face scrunched with confusion. “You’ve never mentioned that she’s foreign.”

“She’s so foreign that she makes the mysteries of Amaranth and Par Vollen seem like bedtime stories.” Varric’s eyes drifted shut, and Fenalan stiffened a bit as what little wakeful tension in his body began to relax while his voice quietened. “But that’s a story for another time. Remind me to tell you that one—it’s probably one of my best.”

Fenalan leaned over to grab his loosened hand. “Varric.”

“I’m just tired, Rook,” he rumbled and cracked his eyes open to give her the most earnest look she’d seen from him in a while, “I’m not going anywhere. You try getting impaled with a blade of pure lyrium and see if it doesn’t take all the fight out of you.”

“You’ll be lucky if I ever let you onto a battlefield again,” Fenalan croaked.

He turned his palm over and squeezed her fingers. “Let me catch another nap,” he told her, “have some of that fireside stew and flatbread you make with a red Antivan vintage waiting for me when I wake up, and I’ll be as right as rain in no time—battlefield or no. I can honestly take or leave all this adventuring shit at this point. I’m getting too old for it.”

Fenalan combed a few loose strands of hair off his forehead with her free hand, her brows knit and her teeth clenched. “We might be on short supply of mutton and wine, but I’ll tear this place up from the foundations if I have to. Just…” She swallowed roughly, her throat too tight to utter another sound.

“Rook. Look at me.”

She did, reluctantly. His resolute calm was far more effective a balm than anything else could be to curb the hot sting of her childhood fears and experiences welling dangerously along her lash line. She cleared her throat. “Yes?”

“You won’t lose me that easily,” he told her. “Got it? It’ll take more than an elven god to take my last life.”

“Just don’t keep flouting it about as if you’ve got the other eight.” She coughed and snuffed, turning her head down and away just long enough to get her bearings. “Promise me you won’t do something that stupid again, ma falon.”

“I promise I won’t leave you alone to deal with all this, at any rate. Just give me some time to get back on my feet and I’ll be watching your back again.”

Fenalan nodded stiffly.

“Aw, come on. Don’t cry on the dwarf. I might melt, and then where would we be?” He tugged her hand gently, smiling despite the exhaustion obviously creeping over his entire frame. “You can tell me what you were dancing around confessing later. As long as you weren’t possessed by a demon or bound by any illicit magic rituals, we can handle it. Together.”

If only he knew. She doubted he would guess it, anyway. She suspected that Varric was going to have a fit once he found out about the not blood magic Solas had used to implant himself in her head.

Fenalan tightened her grip on the dwarf’s warming, roughened hand once more before she released him and stood on aching legs that protested every movement. “Get some rest, old man. I’ll see what I can scrounge up for supper.”

“I can’t wait. You’re one of the best cooks in Thedas, you know—and that’s a high bar because Sibyl was a damn good one…”

She waited until Varric drifted off and went limp before she sucked in a shaky lungful of Fade-charged air and slipped out of the room as quietly as possible.