#for the tags‚ none are related to Logan

[edupunkn00b]

Meus ex Machina, Chapter 9: Brothers

Edited public domain image of two hands reaching for each other, lit in deep blue and neon green.

Prev - Brothers - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Logan makes another discovery, even if he doesn't yet understand all the implications. But first, another peek into the past.

Little arms hooked on the playground swing’s chains, Patton sat crying outside the Humane Touch Foundling Home. It was dinner time and all the other kids were already in the dining hall. The ones allowed out of the med unit, at least. Meals were always… energetic and the caretakers had their hands full with getting everyone fed. He had a little time before he’d be missed.

Hiccupping, he scrubbed away his tears with his sleeves and fought to get himself under control. 

His stomach had twisted into knots when the fifth graders had called him over after school. At first he’d been afraid they’d wanted to fight him, too. The week before, a couple of eighth graders from the middle school had jumped him, only letting up when he’d pulled an air car onto himself and hid under the chassis. He didn’t know where he’d be sent next if he got expelled for fighting again. But if he never hit back, there was nothing for them to tattle on.

So he’d learned not to hit back.

When the fifth graders instead asked him to lift up an electrobike and then a car, his excitement at being included in their games let him ignore the way the twist in his stomach never really went away.

So Patton had laughed along with the older boys. It wasn’t until they’d clambered on top of the principal’s air car and egged him on to lift it with the four of them clinging to the hood that he realized they weren’t laughing with him.

The boys’ taunts rang in his ears.

‘What a show-off!’

‘Aw, what’s the matter, Superbaby? You gonna cry?’

‘Go on, freak, go home and cry to your mommy!’ The boys laughed louder. ‘Oh, that’s right, your parents just dumped you there, didn’t they?’

‘Brad! Peter!’ A sharp adult voice rang out over the teacher’s parking lot. The boys were startled and Patton took advantage of their distraction and ran all the way to his foster home.

“Brubber sad?” 

Sniffling, he looked up, then down into the eyes of his baby brother. Technically he was his foster brother, but Patton didn’t care about the distinction and neither did sweet little Lucas.

He nodded and scootched over on the swing, giving the preschooler a weak smile. “Wanna come up here, Lukie?”

The little boy grinned, scrambling up on the swing and then onto Patton’s lap. “Whoa there!” The seat tilted, swaying side to side as Patton laughed and righted them both. “There, that’s better,” he said when they steadied with Lucas curled against his chest, one hand gripping his big brother’s shirt, the other wrapped around the swing’s crackled safety chain. Pushing gently with the one foot remaining close to the ground, Patton began to swing them.

“Brubber better?” Lucas asked, big eyes looking up at him like he could see right into his head and the thoughts inside.

Still chuckling, Patton nodded. “All better,” he said, sneaker skidding in the dirt. And he was all better. Joyful, with another laugh threatening to bubble up from his lips. He still felt the sting of the older boys’ teasing, still felt the worry that by the time they all got to school the next day, everyone would know he’d cried, but the moment Lucas touched his arm, he… he just didn’t feel bad about any of it anymore. He just felt… happy. “Lukie? Did you…” It couldn’t’ve been him. Could it? “Did you… do that?”

Lucas smiled up at him, nodding. “Brubber sad,” he repeated, this time not a question. He drew close again, rubbing his cheek against Patton’s chest like a cat. “Swing?” he asked, rocking back and forth.

“Yeah,” Patton whispered, holding tight to his baby brother. Carrot orange curls tickled his nose as he nodded. “Yeah, Lukie, I’ll swing us.”

~

The Prince did not join them for dinner. Instead, he remained on the roof for another hour or so before going straight to the kitchen. Patton excused himself with a small, determined smile but, after a few minutes, returned to the table alone.

Without a word, at least not one Logan could hear, The Prince strode past with a small covered dish and went to his room.

Subdued, the remaining group finished dinner quickly. After doing what he could to help V and Patton tidy up, Logan returned to the printing lab. For all that had happened, it hadn’t been long since the printer had finished, the matter jets still slightly warm from the final batch of exosuit panels.

V had cleaned up from their work and stacked the output in a tote set on a low bench.

Next to it was a ruggedized tablet similar to the one V had used. It activated as Logan picked it up, and a message appeared on the screen.

It’ll save you a step if you sketch in the CAD program. Let me know if you need help setting up. - V

The back of the tablet’s case was… soft. Well, grippy, and Logan experimentally laid it on his lap. The case seemed to meld to his stumps and he tapped at the screen, smiling at the way the tablet stayed flat and steady. He hooked the tote of finished pieces on the back of his chair then returned to his room.

Once inside, he wiggled back onto his window seat, the rapidly setting sun burning orange and red through the haze. He pulled the tablet closer and the screen lit up, revealing a menu of options.

Scanning the list, Logan grinned. Internal and external sensors, security cameras, light and climate controls, elevator tracker… Even the ordering program he glimpsed Silvertongue and V using in the meat.

Logan could access everything in HQ from this device. Well, everything he knew about, at least. He was certain there were additional layers of security only V and Silvertongue—and probably Patton—knew about, but Logan could tap through and view cameras throughout the kitchen and the med bay, the common room…

One of the common room cameras faced the wall above a mock fireplace. Given both the angle and the narrow space between the coffee table and the bumpy stone hearth, Logan had never seen higher than the mantle before. 

The wall was covered in picture frames, many antiques, housing real silicone-based glass covers and faded wooden borders. Some of them looked old enough to have belonged to the museum that had once owned the original structure.

Almost—almost—without meaning to, Logan zoomed in. The pictures were of the team. There were several of Patton lifting up V or The Prince in a big bear hug, grinning as their feet left the ground. Another was of Silvertongue sitting in his usual armchair, a tablet in his lap and a serious expression on his face, The Prince looming over him, tongue sticking out and waggling his fingers.

Was Logan only imagining the quirk in Silvertongue’s lips? The Prince couldn’t have actually caught Silvertongue by surprise, could he? How precisely would one hide a prank from a guilt-seeking mindreader?

Setting aside that thought, he focused on the other frames. More than half were pictures of children. Logan recognized The Prince and The Muse’s younger selves from the visions when the Muse’s EMF dropped. When he’d dropped it. There were other children, too, children he didn’t recognize. One was an older boy with hair just like Patton’s, holding the hand of a much younger child with curls so red they looked almost orange, like an old 2D video his mother had shown him. The same little red haired boy was in another photo, clutching a blanket.

Both photos, along with a third of a boy Logan belated recognized as a very young Patton, were singed, a big black semi-circle cutting all the way to the colored start of the image. Like what one would see if you’d burnt just the edge of a stack of antique flammable paper.

Off to the side of the collection was a small photo Silvertongue lying on a couch much like the one in the common room.

Logan zoomed in further and smiled. He wasn’t alone on the couch. He lay with his head rested on the lap of another young man. And Silvertongue was young. Not a child, but Logan would guess early twenties? Maybe? 

They both were. Silvertongue was dressed impossibly casually, simple slacks and a long-sleeved shirt like the ones Patton seemed to favor. His scars were much darker and, with his open collar, Logan could see they spread down his chest, as well.

The scars on his hands were dark, too, and freshly healed. His bare fingers were intertwined with the other young man’s and Silvertongue lay back, relaxed and smiling up at him as he read aloud from an antique printed book.

The other man’s orangey red curls flopped over his eyes, only a few shades darker than the tiny child in one of the other pictures. Between the hair and the book, most of his face was hidden, but his cheeks were round and tinged pink, just like Patton's.

And the little boy in the other pictures.

The lights dimmed in the common room and Patton’s tall, broad shadow passed over photographs. He and V must be close to finishing up. Logan closed out of the feed, cold prickles crawling up his spine. Surely they could know he'd been watching the common room.

Back in the main video menu, the prickles turned to ice when he found the array of external cameras, as well. Guilt gnawed at his belly. No, this must be a mistake. There’s no way I should have this kind of security access.

He hit the comm button to the kitchen. “Hey, um, V?”

“Yeah, Mac?” V answered, the clink of tools in the background. Almost eerily, Patton’s tread passed the sound pickups, completing his path back to the kitchen. “Need help with the tablet?”

“Ah, no…” Logan rubbed the case, marveling at the texture. “No, it’s—it’s great, thank you. I… I think I might have…”

The clinking stopped. V, too, was quiet, listening. Oh. This was a test. They want to know if they can trust me. 

“I think I have the wrong access,” he said at last, eyes falling shut. “I can see all the security cameras.”

“Oh, good, you got in okay,” V’s voice grew more relaxed and the clack of tools against metal resumed. “The menu’s not super intuitive. But I figured you’d take to it pretty fast.”

“But… Should I…”

Patton’s voice rumbled quietly in the background and V chuckled. “You worried you hacked in? Or that our security’s that flimsy?”

“Well…” Logan’s cheeks warmed. “I thought perhaps… Perhaps it was a test of some sort, actually.”

V laughed out loud this time. “Hey, that’s a good idea, Mac. Nah,” he said, catching his breath. “If you’re on the cameras, you should be able to see them, too, y’know?”

Logan blinked, looking down at the tablet. “Well, yes, I… I see the logic. I suppose I… I’m… I’m just…”

“You’re just used to those bastards at Abracadabra,” V finished.

“Language!” Patton scolded, loud enough to be heard over the comm.

Surprised at himself, Logan laughed with V. “I think perhaps you are correct. Thank you, V.”

“Anytime, Mac.”

~

Minutes bled into hours as Logan explored HQ through the cameras, first the live feed. And then their recordings.

The cameras skipped large pockets of time, presumably when there was no movement in a given area. The size of their data storage was remarkable, with the feeds on some of the cameras seeming to go back months.

The zoom controls were useful, particularly for the high-definition cameras at the entrances, in the hall. 

And in the basement.

When Logan found the basement camera feed, he quickly scrolled back and watched The Prince emerge from off camera only to stare at the door for a long while before entering the elevator. Logan double-checked the time stamp. It had been while he’d was talking with Patton in the med bay.

Rolling the feed back further, Logan soon found footage of V and Patton leaving The Muse’s room, the tall bear-like Powered crying as he walked with V’s arm wrapped around him. There were no sound controls, at least none that he could find, but as Logan rolled back through the long stored history of footage, he found himself grateful. 

He skipped a little further back and saw himself, small and shaking as he fled to the elevator, slamming the call panel and retreating. Even now, tucked away in the soft window seat in his room, The Muse’s voice echoed through Logan’s mind,through his cells. Those panicked, anguished pleas for Silvertongue to return to him.

The next video timestamp was just over a week ago, shortly before Logan had come to HQ. Silvertongue left The Muse’s room and ripped off his helmet. Tears ran down his face and he crouched on the floor in front of The Muse’s door, shoulders shaking in silent sobs. Both hands pressed against the door, his mouth moved. But even zoomed in as far as it would go, Logan couldn’t make out what he was saying. Just that he was repeating the same words over and over.

After several minutes, Silvertongue pushed up to his feet, composed himself, then swooshed down to the elevator and disappeared. Logan didn’t need to follow Silvertongue’s path through the rest of HQ to know he was on his way to collect him from that abandoned cabin outside the University. 

“I’m so sorry, Muse,” he whispered, hand hovering over the last frame of the recording.

Then he kept going.

Logan reviewed the history of the basement cameras as far back as they would go, noting the timestamps jump with each recording. No more than two weeks passed between visits, but even a few days seemed like a horrifically long time to go without seeing anyone at all. The visits were short, typically a couple of hours at most, and the usual visitors were Patton and V, sometimes only Patton. 

Silvertongue rarely made the trip downstairs and entered even less often. His visits varied in duration, sometimes only a few minutes, once for over four hours. Each time he left, the Powered looked shaken, crying beneath his mask. And each time, after the door closed, he’d kneel just outside, hands pressed against the door.

And the Prince… The Prince visited even more often as Patton, but he never entered. Sometimes he sat outside The Muse’s door, curled against it with his ear pressed to the reinforced durasteel. Sometimes he paced the long hall. Each visit ended the same, with The Prince pressing his palm against the door before retreating to the elevator.

Tears stung Logan’s eyes when he'd reached the final frame of the last saved video, the silhouette of a splayed hand just barely visible through the door window. 

Turning off the tablet, Logan decided that, chair or not, suit or not, he needed to go see The Muse for himself.

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about Logan adjusting to this new timeline, becoming sober, and Wade somehow finding Logan's dog tags. ~4k words.

(Tw: Logan's a depressed recovering alcoholic with survivor guilt, unofficial proposal, canon usual implied sex jokes, Logan tries to flirt but fails)

To my wife. Who's halo lit up my dark life to see just how many doors were available to me when I couldn't see them myself<3

He offers him his to wear as a cutesie matching necklace type of thing but Logan is hesitant to take them, scared of what will come of it. He does it anyway though because he sees how happy Wade is wearing his.

What he refuses to tell him though is that just hearing the tags jingle makes him jump, flinch, his heart rate rises, and his mind floods with scenes he's worked so hard draining every bar he could find dry just so he could forget.

For me, I, too, am a man with deeply rooted animal instincts and was raised to behave like an obedient pet instead of the animal they made me.

An animal trained to take orders. A soldier without his post is miserable and constantly is either trying to find it again or defend himself from ever having to go back to a post to begin with.

You aren't good enough for them if you obey what they say and excel past the standards. But you aren't good enough if you question their authority and make choices for yourself either. Hoizer comes to mind.

Running with the bulls

Working my miracles

Holding my world together with a boot string

His night terrors are worse, more frequent, constantly a battle between wanting to protect and defend the less fortunate to saying, 'No, I'm done with that. It's none of my business, It’s someone else's problem now.'

He wakes up screaming, claws drawn, every possible sense he has to run activated, panting, gasping almost for air. He's panting, heaving deep but quick breaths, all of the hairs on his arms raised like a cat who just heard a dog barking after having gotten attacked as a kitten.

Living the dream

Benzos and gasoline

Coffee and blue light screens till the morning

He wakes to the sunlight in his face, gets up, stretches, takes his Valium. Eats some toast, calls it breakfast, gets dressed for his weekly AA meeting. The moment he steps inside it smells like Gasoline. Sweet honey scented lies that he hates to admit that he knew all too well. ‘It was only one’ ‘I asked for a virgin one but they brought me the wrong one’ ‘I'm trying, I really am..it's just.. hard’ He's heard them all before but the last one he could relate to the most.

Coming home at night, Logan puts his face into the back of his partner's neck, hugging him from behind as he offers to watch a cowboy movie marathon with him. He barely eats, only taking what Wade gives him or shoves in his mouth like the now spilled popcorn that was all over the ground, His boyfriend sprawled out on the couch while the “Dvd” bounces back and forth on the blue screen.

Wade never likes it but recently he's been drinking coffee at night, pacing back and forth as he searched online for a job. Kept himself far from the nightmares that were trying to catch up with him.

If I tell you this is drowning

You tell me I'm walking on water

I could bring fire from the mountain

You tell me it feels a little colder

Everyone was telling him how good he was doing, how well he was adjusting, how happy they were that he was here and yet.. He didn't feel like he deserved it. Any of it. Not the second chance, not the love and support of all his new family, not the affection from the man who whispered how proud of him he was each night..

It doesn't help his mental status when multiple jobs reject him either. Interviews don't exactly go that well when you have claws for hands and a reputation for having a temper.

“I'm sorry we're looking for someone with more… experience.. in this field. You need an entry level job.”

“Woah dude! You are WAY too qualified to be working here! you should try looking for something higher up, yeah?”

“I'm sorry. You're too much of a liability.”

“Oh my god- You're the Wolverine!”

“Yes.. but uhm.. No.. I'm just Logan now.”

“Wait, why are you applying here? This is a cashier position.”

“I'm aware..”

“Aren't you like… an X-men?”

“N-no… not anymore.”

“Oh… Did they fire you?”

“I quit.”

“Why?”

“Are.. these questions part of the interview?”

What kind of man was he if he couldn't even get a damn job at McDonald's? It felt useless. Like everybody wanted something different from him, but no one was happy either way. Never pleased with his resume or his reputation. You would think being an ex X-man would make it easy. Of course someone would want to hire a superhero? Right? Wrong.

I don't wanna

Choose between being a salesman or a soldier

Just let me look a little older

It seemed everyone wanted him to rejoin the X-men and as much as he missed that mansion upstate, it wasn't his. So many times he's been told stories about himself that he didn't even remember …well.. because it wasn't him. They wanted The Wolverine.

Their Wolverine.

Not Logan.

There was always that spot at the dealership with Peter. Now that Wade was back on his role with mercenary stuff and doing more “Favors” with Colossus, Negasonic and Yukio, that position was open. Part of him- No. Scratch that. All of him was happy for Wade. He seemed to be enjoying life so much more now that he felt he had purpose. But what was his purpose? Selling cars?? Definitely not. Even if it was, they were looking for something else anyway.

“It says here that you are 286 years old. Is that a typo?”

“Oh- uhm… No..”

“I see…Well we are currently looking for someone… younger.. to fill that spot. Sorry.”

But they were never actually sorry. He could smell it.

Coming home from the failed hunt, he felt like an older lion losing its pride to a younger male lion. Well- if lions could develop arthritis in their knees and hands. Once a day he'd pop out his claws, just to keep them ready though he felt like he hadn't used them in such a long time… Maybe he really was turning into an old house cat like wade said.

Sitting in their shared bedroom, he was grumbling to himself, grunting as he tried to get his claw unstuck. This wasn't the first time they locked up and he feared it wasn't the last either.

He snapped his head up at the sound of tags. Around the corner came who he expected, Wade, quickly hiding his hand under the blanket. Coming in, his eyes widened.

“Woah wolvie! Without me? Really? I would have gladly done it for you.”

At first Logan wanted to thank him for offering to help before quickly realizing that from how his hand was under the blanket, it did look suspiciously like adult alone time.

“T-that's not… no.”

“M'kaay. If you say sooo~”

“H-how uhm.. How was work?”

Watching as he began to grab shower clothes and take off his mask, He smiled.

“Oh you know! Watching the life drain from peoples eyes and what not as they beg for their life! The usual.”

“Oh.. that's.. fun?”

“Extremely liberating stuff.”

Watching as he began to strip, He swallowed, wishing he'd leave already so he could finish shoving the claw back into his skin.

Let me step a little bolder

I don't wanna

Choose between being a butcher or a pauper

“You wanna take a shower with me?” He asked, Beginning to walk around butt naked in nothing but his tags.

“U-uhm… No. No thanks, I had one this morning.”

“D'awwww what? Worried i'll see your peanuts? News flash baby, I've had those things down my throat! And I will say. They're better salty anyways~”

All this teasing changed his monotone face into a small goofy smile as he came close, crawling up into his lap, taking hold of his cheeks as he kissed his nose.

“What's wrong? Did you not get the job?”

He was so envious of how he could say such dirty things. Wade was so confident and yet so shy about his face. It made him think of when he was that confident in himself too. (Probably overly confident if we're being honest) Oh that was so many years ago… he'd never get that back. And honestly? He wasn't sure if he wanted to.

Logan said nothing but it was all the answer wade needed.

“I see. Well you'll get’em next time, Right?”

He looked away. Ashamed. Here Wade was, being overly supportive, giving him everything, and still he couldn't find a single happy bone in his body.

Shifting his leg to reassure him more, His knee was placed on the claw, yipping. “Ouch!”

“Sorry! I… I can't.. i-it won't..”

And on top of all that, he just hurt him. Man he sucked at this. All of it. Every little bit of it.

Pulling his hand away, Logan's eyes looked over Wade just as quick as it happened, Trying to see if he was bleeding only to jolt.

“Hey- shh.. Calm down. You're alright.” Grabbing his wrist, he carefully moved the tags that had gotten stuck on the claw.

“What's got you all riled up, Kitty? The interview couldn't have been that bad.”

But what he didn't know is that it WAS that bad.

Instantly Logan broke down, breaking heavily as he began to sob, gritting his teeth as he put his non-stuck hand on his face, wanting to hide. He felt pathetic. Useless. Weak. All of the things he fought not to be.

“Ooh, Honey come her-” Wade reached a hand out, trying to console him only to be shoved away.

“Don't!! I-.. I'm tired of hurting people! That's not who I want to be!”

“Baby cakes, it was an accident-”

“No!! Eveyone wants the Wolverine until the fucking wolverine is actually acting like the Wolverine!” He shouted, trying not to choke on his own tears.

Tilting his head, Wade blinked as if he wasn't aware of what he was talking about, but why would he? Logan hasn't told him anything negative for the past 2 weeks. Keeping it all bottled up, trying to push it deep down but that wasn't him. He couldn't handle it anymore.

“Everyone just keeps saying I should join the X-men again and i-” Wilson put his hands on his shoulders, looking at him with the most serious he has ever been in his entire life.

“Logan, If that's what you want we'll make it work. It's only an hour drive, and i'm sure I could visi-”

“Wade!! Shut. Up! I don't…” He trailed off, shaking his head as he began to apologize, whispering he was sorry for yelling at him.

“I-it's not your fault.. I.. I don't..”

Wade was patient, Nodding, encouraging him to open up with his words. He knew when it was time to zip it and let him talk. Now was one of those times. It was his turn to listen.

“I don't want to fight anymore. I didn't want to fight to begin with but… It's the only thing I'm good at. I'm not good at anything else.. My whole life I've just been jumping team after team and they all eventually die or I just get kicked out for not understanding the power of team work or whatever. Hell, I've been through three different wars and every single time I ran away! Like a damn dog with its tail between its legs! All except the times I was TOLD to run and I didn't. Fuck, Wade! 3 fucking wars and I can't even take orders right!!”

Honey, I'm taking no orders

Gonna be nobody’s soldier

It was now Wade's turn to try to stifle a laugh, snorting as he covered his mouth.

“What's so fucking funny?! That your boyfriend is a sad pathetic loser who can't even get his hands to listen to him!?”

Now he burst out laughing, starting to giggle.

“You're over here talking about not being able to take orders and not being good enough for a team while talking to the same guy who can't even GET on a team and was kicked out of Canadian special forces because I didn't listen to a single thing they said! And you think I care if you ‘can't take orders’ ??” He said this last part in a mocking tone, trying hard to be serious but couldn't.

Logan's eyebrows scrunched with a skeptical glare, tears still dripping down his face, feeling embarrassed and stupid.

Cupping his face again, Wade smiled ear to ear, their foreheads together. “You're much dumber than the comics make you out to be if you think I'd care about anything like that. You honestly think I'd care if you don't want to be anyone's soldier? Why do you think I'm my own boss? The world isn't built for guys like us, baby. And if you wanna open a coffee shop or- pursue your dreams of photography, or hell! Even bird watching for all I care, I will still love you. We will make it work. No matter what you choose to do. Even if you don't get a job at all. Do you understand?”

The man started into his eyes, seemingly frozen as he processed all that he said.

“Logan..”

“Hm?”

“You gotta nod hon, we've talked about this.”

Slowly nodding, indicating that he understood, the tears got thicker as he pulled himself into Wade's shoulder, sobbing more.

“Oooh There there… There's my big strong man..” Wrapping his arms around him, he was careful of the single knife still out. Sitting him up, he rubbed the side of his face as he kissed the other cheek, only to gasp.

“GAASSSPP!! Peanut!”

“What!?” His grip tightened around his waist as he looked around urgently, immediately sniffling and starting to wipe his eyes.

“You're getting greys!” He coed, reaching up to pluck a single gray hair from the beast, who flinched. “Ouch..”

Leaning back, Wade held the hair in front of his face, His smile still wider than ever.

“You're turning into A silver fox, wolvie!”

“W-what?”

“Ooh I bet you're gonna be so handsome! Eehh!” Hugging him again, tight around his neck.

Blushing, He wasn't sure what had just happened. How him venting and crying out of the rage he felt to Wade fangirling over one of his single hairs.. though.. I guess it made sense for your bald boyfriend to monitor yours. Wade has even made him start using a fancy shampoo that made his hair a lot softer, curlier, and Less greasy.

“.. you..You're excited that i'm getting old..??”

“Duh! I've always wanted to be a hot silver daddy's sugar baby!”

“What does that even mean?”

“Don't worry about it- Oh hey look! Your claw went back in.”

Looking at his hand, he made a fist and opened it a couple of times, blinking, oblivious. “...How did you do that?”

But what he didn't realize is that the stress was flowing out of him, and the relief that Wade seemed to be obsessed with him no matter what had calmed him down enough for it to slide back in itself.

“I didn't do anything, sweetheart. You opened up. Let it out. All that stress isn't good for you, you know. How do you think I ended up looking like this?” He joked, giggling.

For some reason, He laughed too, finding this a bit funny.

“Do you feel better? Hm?”

“Nngh..”

“I'll take that as a yes.” The naked man whispers, kissing him with his arms lazily on his shoulders, glad that he was able to cry in front of him. Twas a very manly thing to do and there was no one more manly than the Wolverine himself.

“Alright. I'm gonna go shower. I stink worse than you do after being out in the rain.” You know, wet dog and all. Pulling away, there was a clang and a tug at both of their necks, the tags becoming stuck together, making wade smirk more. “I think these tags don't want me to go.”

Quickly frowning, Logan swallowed, moving to take his off, pulling up his hand as he held it, putting the tag inside of it, closing his fingers.

“Wha..I-... what are you doing?”

“Wade.. I..” He sighs, looking away with a nervous pout, Grunting a bit from frustration. Why did words have to be so difficult?

“Are you breaking up with me?!”

“What!? No! I-.. I don't..”

See what Logan didn't know was that Wade had viewed these as promise rings, the equivalent of engagement even but he was okay with never actually getting married. As long as he got to wear the dress in his closet and dance with him he wouldn't mind if it was legal or not. He understood fully that not everyone wanted to marry the stage 4 cancer patient whose skin looked like turkey bacon that was somehow raw and burnt at the same time.

“You don't what? Do you.. want something else? We can get rings! Do you want rings?” shifting to sit closer to him, Wade was obviously becoming upset about this, untangling the tags and looking at him with those big brown puppy eyes.

“Rings…?”

He could see the gears in his head trying their best to turn as he thought what he meant.

“How would we make them into rings?” He finally asks and to Wade, this was basically a proposal.

Sitting up more he began clapping excitedly the same way he did when seeing puppins again about 8 months ago. “Eeh!! Yes!!”

His head turns, Giggling. “I would've taken it in front of the subway like Sanda Bullock but this works too!”

Logan, like a dumb ass, looked too, knowing full well he wouldn't see anyone but still always looked anyway. “Who??”

“Oh I'll show you later! What size are you?”

“In rings?”

“No, your cock, Of course in rings!”

“Hey now- I never agreed to a cock ring, Wade. No.”

The serious tone and the way he pointed his finger at him made him laugh more, taking his hand as he kissed it. “We'll figure it out. Okay so after my shower, I'll call a guy I know. I think Forge would do a much better job but I feel like he'd say no.” He began rambling about how cute they would be and how excited he was, climbing off of his lap (finally) and started to walk off.

“W-wade!” He called, swallowing again, nervous to ask him to listen.

“What? You wanna come shower?”

“No- well.. maybe but..”

Again he waited, rocking back and forth on his heels, trying his best to be patient but it was hard not talking for 0.5 seconds.

“It's not that.. I don't like them. It's just.. I got those a long long time ago.. and I don't want to be the man those belonged to. Not anymore. And it's not that I don't think about rejoining all the time, it's just.. I want to live my life the way I want too. Charles always said that at the end, we'd get to live how we deserve. That's my time. My time is now. I want to sit on a porch somewhere out west and watch the horses graze. I wanna sit around doing nothing with Puppins in my arms. I want… I want to be with.. with you.”

He admitted, and for once Wade was the one speechless.

“I don't want you to visit. I want to live with you. But not here. I want to go somewhere quieter. Somewhere I can just be.. Logan..”

Putting a hand on his chest as he explained, he didn't see his smile move, not a smidge, watching as he bit his lip and covered his mouth trying to stay quiet until he was done.

“Of course I still want to help people though! Protect them from other worse people… I'm just tired of being someone's toy soldier all the time. I want to do what I think is right but.. also have time to listen to you sing when cooking and take Puppins to the dog park. I want to protect..Us.” Yeah. That felt right. Us. Both of them, all of them. Together. His family.

“B-besides.. If I became an X-men again I don't think I could do it. I could barely sleep back then thinking about all the screams.. the people I couldn't help. I don't think I would be able to get over the fact that I can't save everyone… But I definitely want to try to at least save a few people. Take care of them… all of them. Even if they don't think they need help.” He smiled a bit, taking a huge breath as the stress was relieved from his shoulders.

“Alright you can talk now because I'm never doing that ever again, that was super embarrassing.” He muttered, flushed as he looked down at his lap.

The second he gave him permission to speak, Wade screamed, a scream that made Logan's eyes widen and look at him with a slow blink. “....what was tha-”

Immediately he was pulled up from the bed, picked up and squeezed tightly as he jumped around. Grunting some, he held on tight, feeling a little nauseous. Sometimes it was easy to forget how strong he was.

Still screaming, Wade was extremely excited about all that was just said, Logan admitting that he wanted a serious future with him was a lot better news than he could have ever wished for.

“Put me down!... Wade!... I'm gonna throw up!” He said, whining that he was given uppies non consensually. Even he couldn't help but laugh though in response to his giggles. God that laugh was so annoying and yet his world would feel pointless without it.

Putting him down, Wilson grabs his cheeks, petting his beard. “Ooh Logan.. I don't need protection.. because I can't get pregnant. But if I ever find out that I can, I'll definitely hire you.” He jokes, causing more blushes as his hand comes up to Wades, nuzzling into it for a moment.

“You know what I mean…”

“I do. And while I won't stop you, how about you be your own soldier for a bit? Tell yourself how to live. Not anyone else. And i'll be behind you, wearing a shirt with your ugly mug on it, supporting you the whole way. Got it?”

“Aye! I'm not ugly!”

“No you are not! I've barely been home for 20 minutes and am already so wet. I haven't even taken a shower yet “ he mumbles casually as he begins walking away.

“Heh.. Hey…erm Wade?”

“Yes, love?” Just about to leave the room, he turns, smiling gently at how talkative his fiancé was.

Logan blushes more. “I uhm.. If I'm nobody's soldier… can your name be nobody?”

Wade looks confused at first, now it's his turn to figure out what he was saying.

“Cause.. if your name is nobody then i'd be.. nevermind.” Waving A hand, he glanced at his shoes, stuffing his hands in his pocket having just fumbled that line completely.

Within seconds, Wade was back in that room, giving him the sloppiest, deepest kiss that was available, kissing him all over.

“Oh Logie! You're so sweet! But leave the flirting to me, mkay? I don't need you throwing your back out trying too hard.” He pats his chest, grabbing his hand as Wade drug him by the wrist.

They both laugh as they enter the bathroom, closing the door with a click.

[pretty-little-mind33]

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[blainesebastian]

thankful

words: 2,538 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (combined anon requests) would love to make a req where the readers niece has a crush on austin and he’s the SWEETEST to her + aunties are flirting with Austin at the thanksgiving dinner  notes: thanks for reading! hope everyone had a nice holiday :)  warnings: none tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @stylesmendeshearted

It’s been a few years since your family was in the rotation for Thanksgiving—it was Austin’s family two years ago, and the year before that movie filming had taken you to another state with flights getting canceled in the midst, and then last year were the waves of distance created in the preparation for Elvis that took months to repair. Luckily you did, something definitely be thankful for.

Regardless, this is the first year after many absences that Austin is joining you and your family for the holiday and despite the time spent apart, you can count on a handful of things: your mom offering many under her breath judgmental remarks about your acting career, your gram’s sweet potato pie being absolutely to die for, your cousin’s newborn baby being there and somehow looking like the cutest newborn and a tiny old man all at once, and lastly your aunts flirting with abandon towards your boyfriend across the dinner table.

It's one thing for your niece to do it, she’s fifteen and it’s somewhat adorable because she’s often too shy to get a lot of words out.

Austin’s always handled your family with grace though, like…you know it always feels slightly more ridiculous and embarrassing to the person who’s actually a part of the family. You’re probably exaggerating a little but Austin’s family always feels so put together when you visit. Granted, you’re practically bringing Elvis to your dinner table, so.

Just as Austin blends into whatever company he joins, he does the same on holidays—like he was always meant to be there. You feel like he has that gift though, to relate to people, to make them feel welcomed, accepted, included. It doesn’t matter whether he’s talking to a producer, an actor, someone on set, a stranger at a coffee shop or a fan he runs into on the street. It’s one of the many things you love about him.

So he talks with your grandfather about Christmas in New York and that somehow turns into a ten-minute discussion about bridge construction because that’s what your gramp used to do when he was younger. And Austin is sitting there with bright eyes and a smile as he holds onto spiked cranberry cider, letting your grandfather carry important parts of the conversation.

He helps your mother in the kitchen while she’s making the sides, even though she’s the type of person who insists she doesn’t need any help. She lets Austin do it though, because she likes him, and he’s the perfect combination of nonchalance and charm that it lulls her into a sense of trust and openness. That’s usually when he’s able to give his very best advocating for what you do in the industry—it’s not ironic to you that your mother is more willing to accept that Austin is an actor compared to you being an actress. But Austin handles those conversations with tact, warmth, and overwhelming support…it means a lot to you. He always turns it into a discussion, not badgering your mother to accept you, but the things he says clearly come from a spot of love and admiration.

Your mother can see that.

After grabbing your glass of wine, you make your way towards the living room to find Austin in a sea of family members. You’ve always felt really lucky in having a big family even though you’ve only got one sibling—plenty of aunts, uncles and cousins to make things warmly chaotic during holiday seasons.

Pausing near the couch, you smile a little as you see Austin on one of the cushions with your cousin’s baby, Logan, on his lap. It’s…quite the sight to take in and you can’t help but absorb every single moment that you can before your boyfriend notices you’re there. He’s speaking with Sydney, your cousin, nearby about something so mundane—Christmas trees, from what you can hear. Austin, in his blue jeans and navy-blue sweater, slight scruff on his face because he’s in-between projects right now, is holding both of Logan’s hands in his own. His attention splits amid looking down at Logan and carrying on his conversation with Syd.

You swallow down a wave of emotions, heat fluttering in your stomach and swooping downward as Austin manages Logan, a bright smile on his face. He’s so…at ease that it nearly makes your heart ache in the best way. Not to mention it never hurts to see a beautiful man who knows exactly how to hold and handle a baby.

Your niece, Robin, seems to be having similar feelings nearby, hanging on Austin’s every word and unable to tear her eyes away from him.  

Relatable.

“About ten minutes!” Your mother calls out from the kitchen and Sydney stands to pick Logan up from Austin’s lap.

“Better feed him now so I can eat dinner in peace.” She chuckles, moving towards where she set the baby bag down with bottles.

Robin uses this opportunity to inch a bit closer to where Austin is sitting, a bright (yet nervous) smile on her face as she sips on her Cranberry Sprite. Your boyfriend glances up and sees you, giving a warm smile in your direction and looks like he’s about to get up but then notices Robin and doesn’t. He seems very much aware of your niece’s crush (not that it’s very hard to notice, practically spelled out on her forehead) and has always gone out of his way to be nice to her.

One of the things about Austin that makes him so wonderful is that he’s got a great memory and that he’s able to recall past conversations he’s had with people, remembers personal pieces that they’ve shared with him. It’s no different when it comes to Robin.

“You still tryin’ out for that theater class?”

Her cheeks kiss pink and she nods, pulling the sleeves of her sweater down over her hands, “Yeah, I got in but…” She shrugs, “Not sure if I’m gonna stay. Can’t really figure out if I’m any good.”

Austin shakes his head, “I’m sure you’re a natural like your aunt,” And that definitely makes her blush a darker shade, a small smile tugging the corners of your mouth as you listen, “Just gotta keep at it if it’s somethin’ you love.”

She nods, curling her hair around her ear, “I do love it, I just…don’t think I’m nailing lines like I think my teacher wants. She says I got a lot of potential but,” She chews on her lower lip, “I’ve been trying to practice to get the lead of this musical we’re doing.”

Austin hums as you walk closer, looking up at you before standing from the couch. He runs his hands over his jeans, his shoulders straightening as he semi-stretches from being in a sitting position for too long,

“Well, if you want, next time you practice you could Facetime Y/N—I could give you some feedback and encouragement. Only if you want.”

Robin’s eyes grow as big as saucers and you’re convinced Austin has promised her to hang the moon. “Really?” She laughs, her one hand covering her mouth, “That—that would be amazing.”

You smile, taking a long sip of your drink before sliding your hand down to lace itself with Austin’s, “Gonna steal him for a few minutes, Robbie.”

She nods, watching as you walk off with Austin, that bright look still in her eyes as a smile decorates her pretty face. It’ll probably stay there the entire night.

You weave through a few busy rooms until you enter a hallway on the way towards a bathroom that’s quiet and blissfully free of your family. Setting down your wine glass on a nearby table, you turn to look up at your boyfriend, giving him a small smile as your arms wrap loosely around his neck.

“Pretty sure my niece wants to marry you.”

“I have that effect on people,” Austin teases, leaning his head down to nip at your lower lip with his own.

You tilt your head a little bit into the action, humming, “I know it’s a family-filled day and everything? But I’m kinda glad for the few minutes I can have you all to myself.”

“All yours.” Austin whispers against your lips, reaching his hand up to cup your cheek before he kisses you.

It’s something that doesn’t last long enough but it’s intimate and perfect in a way that makes your toes curl. Austin’s arms wind around your waist to keep you close, smiling along your lips and kissing the corner of your mouth a few times when you attempt to pull away.

“If you’re trying to convince me to sneak out early with you?” Austin plays with a strand of hair near your ear, curling it between his fingers as his thumb brushes your jawline, “All you had to do is ask.”

A soft laugh leaves your lips—as if it were that easy. There’s no way you could miss dinner and you’re sure you’re going to have to sit through at least two helpings of dessert before you can escape. At least there’s pie, cookies and ice cream. Not to mention spiked coffee.

“Alright, time to eat!” Your mother calls from the kitchen, rallying the troops.

Sighing dramatically, you tip your head back a little before leaning further into your boyfriend, “An hour?”

He smiles, licking his lips before he steals another kiss. “Deal.”

--

Sitting across from your aunts Rose and Christie, you can see the conversation percolating before it even begins. Austin is seated next to you, most of the table quiet as everyone enjoys their first (or second) round of food. You lean back in your chair and take in a soft breath, mentally checking yourself to see if you can fit another scoop of potatoes. You might risk it.

Your hand slips over Austin’s thigh in a soft squeeze and he automatically keens his head down to listen intently as if you’re about to share some sort of private thought. Regardless that this is just about mashed potatoes? You kinda love that he does that. A small smile tugs the corners of your mouth, motioning with your chin,

“Potatoes, please?”

Austin hums and reaches, grabs the bowl and hands it over to you but not before pressing a kiss to your temple. It’s short and sweet but you can hear your aunts clucking like busy hens across the table, thinking they’re being discreet with their conversation but they’re really not. It’s amusing and definitely embarrassing.

“Still can’t believe you were Elvis,” Aunt Rose says and Austin smiles, a soft pink blush kissing his cheeks as if he can’t quite believe it himself. He’s still so humble about that role.

Before he can say anything, Aunt Christie chimes in with— “Please tell us you took the sixties special outfit home.”

A soft laugh tumbles from Austin’s throat and you widen your eyes, “Aunt Christie.”

He shakes his head, his hand gently resting on yours under the table, giving a soft squeeze. “It’s alright,” He takes a sip of wine and nods his head, “I did keep it actually, along with two of the lace shirts,” Austin shrugs, “Just a few perks.”

Aunt Rose raises her eyebrows, glancing between you and him, “Only a few?”

Your face is definitely a bit red now, heat spreading along the back of your neck. Austin squeezes your hand again, a smirk painted on his lips that you swear he’s going to pay for later. He knows exactly what your aunts are like and you have no idea why he encourages them—that mixture of genuine, sweet and charm that Austin usually reserves for interviews is being spoon-fed to Aunt Rose and Christie and they are eating it right up.

You shake your head, smiling a little as you add more gravy to your potatoes. You think the commentary might have settled down or at the very least the conversation could move elsewhere, but then your Aunt Rose starts it up again—

“Quite the natural with Logan,” She then gives you a pointed look, “Nothing like a beautiful man with a baby, right?”

A laugh sounds from your brother at the same time you mumble oh my god, bringing your hand up to run over your face. While admittedly you were thinking the same thing not too long ago? The last thing you want to hear is this running explanation from your aunt.

“Successful, very handsome,” Christie grins, “And great with kids? Quite the catch.”

Rose hums as she looks over at you, playfully nudging Aunt Christie with her elbow, “Sign me up.”

Now Austin is blushing, shaking his head as he smiles and looks down at his dinner plate. “Oh my god!” You say again, looking at the rest of the table in exasperation even though you’re smiling, “Can someone help me please?”

Your father chuckles, waving his arm in the direction of your aunts, “Alright you two, cut it out—Y/N’s cheeks are red enough that they might catch the good tablecloth on fire.”

Groaning lightly, you run a hand over your forehead, managing a sneak peek at your boyfriend. He leans over and plants a kiss to your cheek, his fingers lacing with yours underneath the table. You suppose this is nothing compared to the first year you brought Austin to Thanksgiving—you’re just lucky he accepted your family’s antics and didn’t run away.

When dinner eventually comes to a close (and the blush manages to stop splotching on your face), there’s a small lull between cleaning up the dining room table, washing dishes, and putting the desserts and coffee out.

As you turn to grab your sweater from the coat rack, Austin reaches for your arm and tugs you into the foyer—a quiet, private pocket, at least for a few minutes. You smile up at him, wrapping your arms around his waist as he does the same, his one hand quickly tucking your hair behind your ear as he kisses your lips.

“I’m sorry for my aunts.” You offer, giving him a soft squeeze.

“They’re harmless,” He assures, smirking, “Besides—isn’t that how you talk about me to people when I’m not around?”

You laugh, playfully smacking his chest, “No.” He grins, taking the hand resting along his sternum and bringing your fingers up to kiss. You roll your eyes with a semi-dramatic sigh, “Maybe.”

Austin chuckles, squeezing your fingers before letting your hand drop. You share a comfortable silence, a few moments of gentle tenderness between you before he leans down and kisses you again. This one is slightly drawn out, a few pecks following,

“I’m thankful for you.” He says and you smile warmly, your heart fluttering ridiculously in your chest.

Before you can say anything, your mom calls out that desserts are all set. Aunt Rose follows up with a, “There’s a snack missing though!” And you know she definitely means your boyfriend.

Austin grins, “And for your family.”

You can’t help but laugh, leaning up on your toes to press another kiss to his lips before you lace fingers and make your way back to the dining room for dessert.

--

Thank you for reading! Definitely thankful for anyone who takes the time to leave a request, an ask, a comment, any likes or reblogs! Hope you enjoyed :)

[trashyandtiredsol]

UPDATED: November 23rd, 2024

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My name's Sol or Solstice! (On here that is, not my actual name, tho I wish it was sometimes :/)

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[notafeeling]

fanders tag game

put whatever comes first when you type:

logan

patton

virgil

roman

thomas

fander/famder (whichever u use)

joan

talyn

in the tags

[transmutationisms]

okay i mentioned this in the tags but genuinely i have this like whole vampire theory of the roy siblings LMAO so traditionally (like, since the 18th or 19th century i think) the reason vampires can't see their own reflections or cast a shadow is supposed to be because they don't have a soul. i like the work this does as a metaphor with the roys: none of them are 'real', they don't see themselves as real, so they'll have these flashes of insight looking at each other but retain massive blind spots when they try looking into the mirror, metaphorically speaking. there's nothing of substance looking back, they're only composed of what they take from other people.

speaking of which, i've mentioned before that for a show obsessed with bodily fluids (piss mainly; there are at least 28 different bathroom scenes i've counted) there's not really that much blood flowing. the exceptions that come to mind are the therapist at austerlitz, kendall's wrist after the car crash, and kendall's nosebleed after logan yanks him from rehab in iceland. whereas piss is used as an assertion of power and dominance, blood spilling is much more life-threatening, which ties nicely with the vampire concept (there are plenty of folk beliefs about the undead that don't involve the drinking of blood; vampires are feared in a very specific way because of it). if the roy kids are metaphorically blood-suckers, part of their problem is that they keep trying to suck each other's blood and they're all relatively bloodless on account of being dead. they're dependent on the draining of other people to give them life and self-image.

the characters most overtly compared to parasites are sandy and stewy, and i can never help but think of the marx quote (capital is dead labour living vampire-like by sucking living labour etc etc). but the reason that comparison is made is ultimately just because they're capitalists, which the roy kids all are as well. they like to think they're better than private equity guys like stewy (shiv and kendall especially like to think this) but kendall guts vaulter and all three of them are explicitly living off their dad's fortune: parasites attached to parasites, another description we get of sandy in relation to stewy in "prague".

bloodsucking is a potent metaphor i think because vampires are on the one hand totally devoid of substance to the point of being literally soulless, and on the other hand drinking directly from the source of life itself. so much of the horror comes not just from a fear of death/decay but from that mismatch between being drained/pale/lifeless and simultaneously utterly sanguine, but only via another's blood. the roy kids see others as sources to bleed dry and see themselves as insubstantial; other people see them as monsters out for blood.

i also like the vampire tropes wrt to the roys because we often think of them as these like, ancient ideas and it's true bloodsuckers have been in folklore for a long time, but most of our recognisable vampire tropes date much later (primarily 19th century, lots specifically from bram stoker and "carmilla") which i think nicely parallels the way the roys think of their family business as this, like, thousand-year dynasty but really they're extremely nouveau riche. which i think also contributes to their bloodthirst and inability to perceive themselves head-on in any objective way. they fear disappearing and not existing because fundamentally they feel like they lack whatever is supposed to be anchoring them to the earth (soul, conscience, etc) and when they look at/inside themselves there's nothing looking back.

anyway there's my succession vampire thoughts of the day thanks

[stewy-hosseini]

Stewy try to be so "it’s all just about money" but, for me, he seems so bitter always. hahaha Like, Ken really hurt him (“we had the world in our hands and you fucking walked, man”)

as i’ve said before, for him and ppl like him (gerri for example) it’s the separation of feelings from business that allows them to do what they do, not the lack there of. like i know some ppl suffer from chronic only able to relate to main characters disease but the way stewy fucked kendall over (bringing in sandy and abstaining in the vote of confidence) is simply not on the same level as what kendall did. walking away from the takeover is one thing, choosing logan over him without a semblance of an explanation, turning down the friend card in a way that completely dismisses stewy as deserving of an explanation, none of that was business. stewy would’ve been, ok not fine but eventually begrudgingly willing to move on from being fucked over on the business side (see: my tags here) as is probably the case for kendall too (“you’re my third oldest friend you fucked me like a tied goat” aka the whole point of the friend card: we’re friends, we go back, i can’t trust you on money stuff but even if you fuck me over, we’re supposed to be able to come back from that bc we’re literally soooo rich none of that stuff matters, it’s all relative the way this, us, isn’t) but what happened to kendall wasn’t business, neither was what he subsequently had to do to stewy and their relationship, and out of the two of them stewy’s not the one so utterly broken that every emotion he experiences gets filtered thru five lenses of distortion until words are complicated airflow and he couldn’t tell you what hurts if he knew

[remuscore]

Logan trying to make up for the eye thing, and being overly insistent on it

Once again I am testing myself with another Remus and Logan fic lmao.

Warnings: DO NOT TAG AS SHIP. Anyways there is a lot of gross eye talk in this including eye infections. Kinda related to another fic but you don’t need to read it to know what’s going on.

———————

The next time Logan sees Remus after the whole debacle from earlier this year, he’s still wearing the eye patch.

Logan rolls his eyes at first, thinking Remus was just being ridiculous or liking the look. He was just as dramatic and stupid as Roman was— in fact, Logan could say Remus was even more dramatic and stupid than his brother— so it wouldn’t be too far from normal if that was the truth. Remus just liked the look.

When he kept wearing it and didn’t discard it like he did with every other fad he got into, that’s when Logan actually began to worry. Just a little. It was Remus after all, you didn’t need to be too worried about him.

“Remus, why are you still wearing that eyepatch?” Logan asked. Seeing that bedazzled thing was starting to annoy him just as much as seeing Remus himself annoyed him. “Aren’t you worried about what that is doing to your vision? You are blind on one side now and taking it off after a long while of darkness could blind you as well.”

Remus looked at him like how Logan usually did.

“You serious?” He asked, eyebrows raised and smiling coyly. Logan huffed in frustration, fixing his glasses on his nose.

“That’s not—” Logan huffed again and shook his head. It wasn’t worth it trying to correct Remus’ grammar. “Yes, I am serious, Remus. I know arguing against you is pointless, but I don’t condone harmful actions towards yourself and—”

Remus took off the eyepatch, revealing gauze and medical tape covering his eye. Logan’s words metaphorically died on his tongue. His own eyes widen.

“I’m wearing it for a reason, dumby,” Remus laughed. Logan could see the cotton underneath the bandages was yellow and crusted with discharge. It needed to be changed. “Remember the knife you got thrown at me? Yeah, apparently eyes don’t heal very well in the mind palace.”

“Oh…” Logan said uselessly. He didn’t even think about that after it had happened. Healing was always so simple and easy, none of it was real, but Remus and Roman were both known to take their injuries more seriously than the others. Even more than Virgil or Patton did. “I didn’t… realize.”

Remus laughed again and leaned closer. The smell of the discharge was sour and horrible. It couldn’t have felt very comfortable either. It definitely needed to be changed. “Do you want to see it? It’s kinda cool.”

“I do actually,” Logan said, frowning. “It looks infected. Have you not been washing it out?”

Remus pinched his eyebrows together and his smile fell a little, confused. “What?”

“You need to wash it. That’s what all this wetness is,” Logan said. He reached towards Remus’ eye and peeled off the tape and gauze in one quick motion. Remus reeled back and covered it, hissing in pain. Logan took a step closer. “Sorry. Are you okay?”

“Why the hell did you do that?!” Remus shouted. He dropped his hand and glared at Logan, showing off the large white scar over his eye and the yellow discharged crusted on his eyelashes and waterline. His eye was red and irritated, almost as red as his iris. His pupil was in fact glassy and unfocused as Logan feared. “Goddamn it that hurt! Fuck!”

“Can you see out of that eye?” Logan stressed.

Remus blinked a couple times. Tears fell from that eye, trying to flush out as much as it could. He wiped at his cheek and covered the other eye, squinting with his injured one. “I mean… no, not really. It’s all blurry and white. But Janus looked at it, it’s fine.”

“This—” Logan held up the goop filled cotton that was still in his hand. “—is not fine. Remus, this means your eye is infected. Did Janus not try to clean it first before patching it up?”

“No.”

“Did you ever clean it? Or at least change out the bandages since then?”

“No and no,” Logan threw up his hands in exasperation. Remus dropped his hand, wiping away more pus and tears on the way down. “It’s not that bad—”

“This is that bad. Sit down so I can clean it properly.” Logan demanded, pointing at the table behind Remus. Remus looked back and immediately shook his head.

“Nah-uh, I’m not letting you anywhere near my eye.” He crossed his arms, still squinting and blinking.

“Remus—”

“No.”

“Remus—”

“No. Only Janus can touch my eye and myself when I feel like it.”

“Janus didn’t do it correctly and that’s why we are in this mess in the first—”

“Nope, we’re in this mess because you made him duck!” Remus pointed at him and then at his eye. “This is your fault! Not Janus’!”

“Then let me fix it!”

Remus let out a loud fake laugh. “Since when do you care!?”

Logan gaped in offense, clenching his fists. “I’ve always cared about what happens to you!”

Another laugh.

“You’ve always cared about what happens to Thomas, but this doesn’t affect Thomas, Buddy! This is—” Remus taps under his eye and hisses, pulling his hand away and squeezing his eyes shut tightly. His hands are sitting awkwardly at his sides, grasping at the empty air and cringing. He’s taking a few short breaths in his pain.

Logan rushes forward and grabs his arm, pulling him over to the table.

“Stop— hey!” Remus tries to object, but his knee meets one of the chairs when he tries opening his eyes again. His free hand comes up to touch his head, but Logan pulls it back down and helps seat him. “Stop touching me. Don’t—”

“Remus,” he interrupts in a much softer voice. Remus swallows and tries focusing on breathing. He was now clutching at Logan’s hand in a very tight and uncomfortable grip. His eyes are shut again and he’s stuck in the pain. Logan squeezed back. “I promise I’m just trying to lessen the pain. This is a serious injury and it’s infected. We need to clean it out before your eye becomes worse.”

The duke swallows again and nods.

[hteragram-x]

I really do read what people leave in the tags, @greenninjagal-blog​​ :>

I’ve read these ones too: #theyre probably popular for fifty seconds before janus is like#TIME TO SET UP A VIRTUAL STORE AND SELL SHIT#virgil: none of us can draw or design things#janus: that has never stopped me before

And yes. He would definitely do that.

---

It’s related to [THIS] post, about Analoceit Podcast AU.

EDIT: Their dialogue is also under cut. I forgot at first.

--- --- ---

Janus: Guys! LOOK!

Virgil: What?

Logan: ???

Janus: Well... now we have 2 subscribers. And you know what THAT means?

Janus: It’s time... FOR MERCH!

[fruitcoops]

Hii, i love your work! Can I request an angst fic with prompts 38, 31 and 78. Like Logan and Leo get into a big fight and Logan says something bad (like I hate u and something like that) and Leo just leaves and maybe goes to Remus and Sirius. And then they make up idk, just a happy ending.

Thanksss❤️❤️🥺

Hello! I really enjoyed writing this ask because I haven’t written a lot of relationship-related angst yet, and I’m pretty happy with it. Credit for Sweater Weather goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for arguing in relationships

Prompt 31: “He’s not answering his phone.”

Prompt 38: “Don’t talk like that.”

Prompt 78: “What did you just say?”

It started with a book.

It wasn’t a particularly special book—on the contrary, it was a beat-up copy of A Tale of Two Cities that Leo had received as a birthday present years ago. He didn’t even like the book that much, but it was a rainy day and he hadn’t slept and he wanted something familiar to daydream through.

There was a heavy, irritated sigh from the kitchen. Leo glanced up at Finn, who was folding laundry, and frowned. “Lo, you okay?” Finn asked.

“Fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

“It’s just—it’s fine.”

Finn set a pair of socks down and ducked into the kitchen; Leo turned back to his book, but kept both ears pricked. “What’s wrong?” Finn’s voice was soft and concerned.

“I don’t know, I’m just upset,” Logan answered. Dishes clanked in the sink and Leo winced, silently hoping none of them would be chipped. “Just finish the laundry and we can go to bed.”

Something in his tone rubbed Leo the wrong way and he stood, joining Finn in the doorway. “Hey, don’t talk to him like that.”

“Like what?” Logan set a fork down with more force than strictly necessary.

“You’re being snappy and I don’t like it. Finn doesn’t, either.”

Finn turned to look at him reproachfully. “What’s your deal?”

“Well, I was kind of looking forward to a quiet evening where we could hang out and read, but I guess that’s not going to happen.”

Logan huffed. “Maybe if you pulled your weight around here we could have a quiet evening.”

“Excuse me?”

“Finn and I have been cleaning for the last hour while you read your stupid book—”

“Leave me out of this!”

“—and I’m getting tired of cleaning up after you.”

Leo’s eyebrows rose and he huffed out a laugh, hardly believing his ears. “I’m sorry, who’s the one that leaves wet towels on the floor every fucking time he showers? Oh, but pardon me for taking an hour and a half to read after not sleeping because somebody was kicking me last night.”

“Both of you, cut it out,” Finn tried, holding his hands out to placate them. Blood thundered in Leo’s ears—he had no idea why his temper was flaring so suddenly, but he wasn’t going to back off and let Logan win. “Logan, I can finish the dishes. Leo, take a deep breath.”

“You’re taking his side now?” Leo asked incredulously. “You always take his side.”

“I’m not taking sides, I’m just trying to figure out what the hell is going on with you two!”

“What do mean, he always takes my side?” Logan crossed his arms and leaned against the counter, quiet rage twisting his face.

“That’s what you do.” The words were coming out of him in a torrent—unstoppable and furious. “You two tag-team every time we get in a fight and suddenly I’m outnumbered.”

“Wha—tag team?” Finn shook his head in disbelief. “Leo, what the fuck are you talking about? I love you, Logan loves you, and you love us.”

If Leo hadn’t been so angry, he probably would have missed Logan muttering under his breath. Instead, he rounded on him, his fists clenching and unclenching. “What did you just say?” Logan glared and kept his mouth shut. “Logan, what did you just say?”

“Nothing you’ll care about,” he said coldly.

Leo shook his head and grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter. “Fuck off, Logan. Just fuck off.”

The slamming of the door behind him was not nearly satisfying enough to quell his nausea and the pounding in his head. He got in the car and turned off the radio with a hard jab to the CD port; the opening notes of one of Logan’s favorite songs from the road trip playlist made Leo’s eyes sting as he pulled out of the garage and headed down the road.

“What did I just do?” he asked the empty car. “Jesus, Leo, you just stormed out with no plan and left two angry boyfriends behind, and now you have nowhere to go and nothing to do and nobody to go home to—”

He pulled over, parked the car, and burst into tears. Leo hadn’t cried like that since his first night in Gryffindor, so far away from home and too afraid of waking Logan up with his sobs to do more than silently weep into his pillow. Logan had definitely heard anyway, because when he woke up the next morning there was a hot cup of coffee next to the door.

“I fucked up.” The steering wheel made his forehead itch. “I fucked up so bad, oh my god.”

You need to go somewhere, the reasonable voice in his head that sounded quite a bit like his dad chided. If you go back and apologize, they’ll take you back.

I can’t. It’s too soon and I’m still upset.

Then think. Who else cares enough to let you stay?

Leo sniffled and wiped at his tears with the sleeve of his sweater. No, not his sweater—Finn’s. It took him another five minutes to pull himself together enough to turn on his blinker and head out onto the road again, following the familiar path without even needing to check his phone. The December air made the dried tears on his cheeks extra cold as he walked up the driveway with his hands stuffed in his pockets, shivering in the cold. This was nothing like home.

He heard the doorbell ring through the house and stepped back a bit to admire the holiday lights in a rainbow of colors. They sparkled, a beacon against the night that made his heart clench. The door swung open a few moments later. “Hey, Leo, what’s…going on?” Remus trailed off.

“Hey,” he sniffled. “Uh, can I come in?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Remus moved to the side so he could enter and he slipped his shoes off in silence, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t absolutely lose it right on the welcome mat. “Are you okay? Sorry, bad question. What happened?”

“We got in a fight,�� Leo said miserably, keeping his eyes on the floor. “Logan and I. Finn got dragged into it and really it was my fault and I just kinda left.”

“Okay. Do you want a hug?”

He nodded without a word and Remus wrapped him tightly in his arms. He rubbed soothing circles on his back—Leo felt more tears slide down his face as he melted into the warm touch. “I’m sorry for not letting you know I’d be here.”

“Don’t worry about it, we’re always glad to see you. Can we move into the kitchen for a sec so you can drink some water?”

“Once a PT, always a PT,” Leo joked halfheartedly as he pulled away and scrubbed at his eyes. “Ugh.”

The kitchen was cheerful and simple, with dark red walls and white cupboards. He sat down at the island and put his chin on his forearms as Remus got him a glass of water and dampened some paper towels. “I don’t know where I put the tissues, sorry.”

“Thanks, Loops,” he said, wiping his face.

“Re, was someone at the door?” Sirius came around the corner and stopped in his tracks. “Hey, Leo.”

“Hey.”

He glanced at Remus, then set his empty bowl on the counter and leaned against the fridge. “What’s up?”

“Logan and I got in a fight.”

“With each other?”

“No, with the mailman,” he snapped, instantly regretting it. His lower lip wobbled; this was just how the fight had begun in the first place. “Sorry. Yeah, with each other. And Finn.”

“Where are they?”

“At h—home.” His voice cracked on the last word. “I left.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Remus asked carefully, sitting down next to him.

Leo’s shoulders slumped and he rested his temple on Remus’ shoulder. “It was so stupid.”

“Don’t talk like that, it was clearly important.”

“I was reading for an hour instead of helping them clean up because I was so fucking tired, and Logan was frustrated that I wasn’t helping. Finn tried to calm us both down, but I accused him of taking sides and then Logan mumbled something and wouldn’t tell me what he said.” It all blubbered out on a fresh wave of emotion and Remus handed him the paper towel again.

“That doesn’t sound stupid,” Sirius said in the gentlest voice Leo had ever heard him use.

“Really?”

“Really. It sounds like you let some things build up for too long, like a volcano.”

Leo sniffled. “You sound like my dad.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“I think so.” He straightened up again and took a long sip of water. “God, I feel awful.”

Remus squeezed his shoulder. “I’m not surprised. Have you eaten recently?”

“We were going to have dinner when Lo finished with the dishes. So, no.”

“You want a sandwich?”

“Yes, please.” To Leo’s surprise, Sirius pulled a block of cheese out of the fridge and bread out of the cupboard. “You cook?”

He and Remus made identical ‘ehhh’ noises. “Un peu,” Sirius laughed. “I burn soup, but grilled cheese is easy.”

“How the fuck do you burn soup?”

“You want to know the worst part?” He looked over his shoulder briefly. “It was canned soup.”

“What?”

“Mhm. I turned the heat on high because I thought it would cook faster.”

Leo’s tide of emotions molded into total confusion. “Why would you do that? The instructions are on the can.”

“Strangely enough, that’s what I told him,” Remus said wryly. “And still it’s happened twice.”

“You are so mean to me,” Sirius sighed as he turned the stove on. “I make you grilled cheese sandwiches and this is the thanks I get?”

“Sorry, love.”

“How do you do that?” Leo asked.

Remus turned back to him. “Do what?”

“Have this…” He gestured vaguely. “Perfect, amazing relationship. How?”

Sirius snorted and returned to his place by the fridge. “It’s not perfect.”

“But you’re so happy all the time.”

“Aren’t you?” Remus asked. “When you’re with your boys, aren’t you happy?”

“Yes,” he answered immediately. “They’re the best thing in the world.”

“Do you have a perfect relationship?”

“Uh, no.”

“There’s your answer.” Remus spread his hands. “Fights happen. Sometimes you can’t stand to even be in the same room as your person, or your people. Sometimes it feels like everything they do drives you crazy. But that doesn’t mean you stop loving them, and they don’t stop loving you.”

“The fight wasn’t about me reading,” Leo said quietly. Understanding was beginning to settle in. “And it wasn’t about Logan leaving towels all over or me not pulling my weight. I think we both just had bad days. Is that normal?”

“I hope so,” Sirius said. “Three months after we moved in together, Remus slept on the couch for a week because he hated the way I left toothpaste on the sink.”

“I wasn’t even angry about the toothpaste.” Remus got up to refill Leo’s water glass. “I was scared we were moving too fast and that everything would fall apart.”

“I was—I am—scared,” Leo confessed. “There’s just so much happening all the time. Finn and Logan…they’re my center point. My anchor.”

Sirius slid a perfect grilled cheese sandwich onto a plate and handed it to him. “Then you should tell them that.”

Just as he took his first bite, the doorbell rang. Remus frowned. “We’re popular tonight.”

After checking his phone quickly, Sirius wandered down the hall, and in his absence a large black dog came out of the living room to set her head on Leo’s thigh. “Hey, Hattie.” He scratched her behind the ears and tore off a piece of his sandwich to give her.

“Oh. Hello.” Sirius sounded surprised.

“Hey, Cap.”

Leo froze and Remus’ eyes widened. “Have you heard from Leo?” Finn asked. “He’s not answering his phone.”

“Because of the fight,” Sirius said.

Remus dropped his face into his hands. “Tact,” he muttered. “We’ve talked about this.”

“Uh, yeah, actually.” Leo could picture Finn’s face in his head, uneasy and worried. “So he’s talked to you?”

“He’s been in our kitchen for the last half hour.”

“What?” Logan’s voice cracked. “He’s—can we come in?”

“No shoes in the house.” There was a moment of rustling, then a staccato pattern of footsteps in the hall before Logan and Finn appeared in the entrance.

“Mon dieu.” Logan nearly collapsed against the doorframe when he saw Leo; his eyes were red-rimmed and he seemed to be a bit of a wreck. “I’m so sorry, Peanut.”

“We’ll be upstairs if you need anything,” Remus said, slipping out of the room with a final glance to Leo.

“My phone was off, sorry,” he said quietly, feeding Hattie another bit of bread. The pressurized fury from before was completely gone—he only felt regretful now, and utterly exhausted. “I’m also sorry for yelling. And accusing you. And for dragging you into it, Finn. Oh, and for leaving.”

“I’m sorry, too.” Logan took two tentative steps closer and Leo stood up, holding his arms out. Relief crashed over his face and he nearly tackled him in a hug. “I took out my bad day on you and as soon as you were gone I regretted it. Merde, Leo, I’m sorry.”

Extra warmth cocooned them both as Finn joined the hug. “I love you both so much,” Leo mumbled into Logan’s hair.

Logan snuggled closer. “I love you, too.”

“Me, three.”

They all laughed weakly at that, stepping back and sitting down at the island. Leo bit the inside of his lip. “So…things were said.”

“Things were said,” Logan agreed. “I didn’t mean what I said about cleaning up after you.”

“I know. I didn’t mean what I said about tag-teaming.” He winced at the memory. “That was flat-out mean and uncalled for. And Finn…” Finn looked up from petting Hattie. “I used you as leverage and that was horrible.”

“Same here,” Logan said guiltily.

“Yeah, let’s not do that again, okay?” Finn looked between them and raised his eyebrows as they both nodded. “I don’t take sides when I’m choosing between my boyfriends.”

“Leo…” Logan started and trailed off.

“Yeah, Lo?”

He struggled for the words for a moment, then took a deep breath. “Do you—do you want to know what I said in the kitchen?”

In the kitchen…Leo wracked his brain and tried to remember. They had been arguing, and then Logan muttered something he couldn’t hear. He was tempted to say yes. “No, I’m good.”

“Really?”

He shrugged. “We were both upset. Whatever it is, I don’t think you meant it, so it doesn’t matter now. We’ve fought enough tonight.”

“Should we head home, then?” Finn suggested, taking both their hands. “I’m pretty tired and hungry.”

“You could ask Cap to make you a grilled cheese,” Leo joked. “They’re damn good.”

“Cap can cook?” they chorused incredulously.

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Laughter is my Love Language

Summary:  Logan doesn't laugh much when Virgil first meets him. Eventually Virgil learns when Logan is truly happy is when he opens up.

Warnings: food mention, some self deprecating humor. If there are more please let me know!

Ships: Logan x Virgil, Analogical

WC: 1, 664

General Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @im-an-anxious-wreck @logans-library @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi @ace-in-a-shopping-cart (you had asked to be tagged in this a while ago, I hope it’s still okay)

Logan doesn’t laugh much when they first meet, which is somewhat of a problem for Virgil since he often relied on laughter to fill otherwise awkward silences. The problem was that Virgil was funny in the stupid way- which he blamed entirely on his dad’s humor that fell over to the punnier side. Crack a pun, reference a meme or as a last ditch effort self deprecating humor was usually relatable enough. Logan fell for none of those and more or less was just left confused by them- or he took the self depreciation too seriously and Virgil ended up with a heartfelt lecture on how important he was. Which, as sweet as it was, wasn’t the point of poking fun at something at his own expense.

--

“Boy Logan that sandwich is jam packed!” said Virgil sometime during their freshman year of high school.

Logan had looked at his sandwich in confusion. “There’s peanut butter there too- but yes it’s Crofters.”

Virgil fought to keep the smile on his face. “Yeah I know, it was a joke.”

“But it is packed with- oh that was a pun. Clever.” 

--

“Here comes dat boi!” Virgil cringed at his own voice as the meme reference fell out of his mouth. He hadn’t seen Logan smile once that day and all attempts at conversation had fallen flat so...memes. Why not? Logan was on his laptop often enough he had probably seen what he was referencing at some point. Plus Logan was gliding very confidently on his skateboard and Virgil was suddenly feeling very tense and wanted to break it. Logan, unhelpful as he was, merely stopped and kicked the board up to tuck underneath his arm.

“‘Dat’?” He questioned.

“I-it’s...a meme. I was- referencing a meme.”

“Ah.”

“...yeah.”

Nailed it.

--

“That’s just me being dumb though- you know how it is.” Virgil let out a defeated huff of laughter and settled his chin on his arms. It was their senior year and he was talking to Logan about his current grades. Everything else was straight A’s other than gym. He didn’t like changing in front of others and the bathrooms were blocked off for whatever reason so he just didn’t do it. He took the fail but still needed the credit or he’d have problems getting his diploma, which was completely stupid and unfair but he knew it was his own stubborn fault and-

“I don’t know.” Logan hadn’t laughed at the “joke”, of course he hadn’t. Virgil sighed, opening his mouth to say something else completely stupid and worthless but Logan beat him to it.

“You aren’t stupid. Lack of participation doesn’t mean you’re stupid, it means there’s some other problem that needs addressing if you’re willing to take a failing grade instead of confronting it.” Logan turned to him with a serious look. Always so serious. “So, if I may ask, where’s the problem?”

Virgil blinked. “It’s stupid.”

“Virgil.”

“I just...don’t like…” Virgil turned into his elbow, cheeks reddening at how dumb the problem really was.

“I didn’t hear you. Can you please speak up? Or write it down if that’s easier.”

Snorting he decided to take him up on that, tearing a scrap of paper off his notebook and writing it down.

There was a pause and then: “Is this all? If you take the make-up class there won’t be nearly as many people and if you get there early you can be changed before anyone sees you.”

Peaking around, Logan’s face was so genuine, like he actually wanted to help. Virgil almost didn’t have the heart to say why that was also a problem but he needed him to understand. “I won’t know anyone in the make-up class.”

Logan screwed his mouth to one side trying to figure out why that would be something Virgil would worry about. His face brightened somewhat as he looked back to Virgil. “If it would ease your anxiety I could take the class with you. While I may not have to make up for the credit, it is open to sign up for extra if anyone so chooses.”

Virgil bit his lip. That would- actually really help, but he couldn’t let Logan do that could he? “You don’t have to.”

“I am aware. But going would be a nice routine and I would be very happy to do it if it meant you would be more comfortable.”

“You’re serious? You would really do that?”

“I’m always serious, Virgil. Of course I will.”

Maybe sometimes Logan not getting the joke was a good thing.

--

“L, it’s three in the morning. Go to bed.” They were in college sharing a dorm, and though Virgil could fall asleep with the lights fully on so Logan’s lamp wasn’t keeping him awake, it was the fact the other man was still awake that was bothering him.

Logan let out a short, humorless laugh and waved hi hand. “I’m almost done.”

Virgil hated when he laughed like that. No happiness behind it, only stress and exhaustion and irritation. Sighing Virgil reached over and plucked the pencil from his hand, shooting him a warning look when it seemed like he was about to protest. He closed the book and stacked it neatly with the couple notebooks he had and placed the pencil and calculator on top. Turning to his dorm mate he pointed to the dresser in the corner. “Pjs. Now.”

Slightly concerned when Logan only stood up to do as he was told instead of arguing he shrugged it off and sat back down on the bed. Logan came over a moment later, plain black tee drooping over one shoulder and sleep shorts slightly rumpled. They really needed to do laundry. Before he could say as much, Virgil was suddenly on his back, Logan’s head on his chest with his legs sticking straight over the side. Laughing softly he ran his fingers through the others light red hair, combing out the tangles gently while Logan relaxed into him.

“Logan buddy, I love you so much but if we fall asleep like this we’ll never get up again.” The other grumbled but took a breath and rolled off his chest, swinging his legs over to turn on his side and nearly kicking Virgil in the head in the process. Smirking, Virgil crawled up behind him and flopped with his arm slung over his side. He laughed again when he realized he was already asleep, arms askew and already drooling on the pillow. Snuggling into his back and hugging him tight he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep himself.

--

Logan sat at the table with a book flat on the surface, notebook close by as he made careful notes for the next curriculum. His brow was pinched in thought and his third mug of coffee was cooling beside him, untouched for nearly an hour as he fixated on his work.

Virgil looked back out the window as he finished drying a glass. Gray clouds were rolling in and it was already starting to drizzle. Good,  they needed a good rain for the start of summer. Tuning in once again to the furious scratching of a pencil behind him he set the glass down and whirled around, racing over and catching Logan’s hands in his own to tug him up and towards the door. 

“Virgil what are we- it’s raining! Virgil!” Virgil stopped for a moment to look and see if Logan was actually distressed but upon seeing more fond annoyance than anything else he grinned and stepped out into the downpour. He took away one of his hands and led Logan in a spin down the porch, feet slipping slightly in the wet grass as he maneuvered them around. Logan was smiling now, stress lines gone from his face as wet hair flopped into his eyes and obscured his vision. Virgil’s own hair was slicked flat to his forehead, emo fringe he would never cut hanging down to his lips before he shook his head hard to dispel the water. Logan yelped and flinched away before laughing low at himself, grin turning mischievous as he reached up above virgil’s head to take a hold of a tree branch. Yelling as what felt like gallons of water soaked him he stood there thoroughly soaked and shivering slightly before letting out a howl of laughter, Logan following right after. He was sure the neighbors could hear them but he didn’t care. Logan was laughing so hard he was clutching his sides, shaking with the effort of holding himself together.

This was what Virgil loved most. Logan didn’t always laugh easily, not understanding the joke or understanding what was meant to be a joke but making sure the person was okay first. When he did laugh, it was one shared with others over whatever dumb, stress free thing they were doing. It was unplanned and in the moment, something Logan and Virgil were usually both averse to. But here in the rain, or getting icing everywhere on their wedding day, or the shared laughed when they woke up together after yelling at each other the night before to go to sleep it rang out; it was clear and joyful and carefree- a language all on it’s own that neither of them needed to “get” in order to join in .

When they first met Logan didn’t laugh a lot, which was somewhat of a problem for Virgil since he often relied on laughter to fill otherwise awkward silences. But when he opened up he began laughing all the time, each one precious and kept close to the chest. Virgil collected them, hoarded them even, storing them like coins in a jar in exchange for the happiness he felt each time he was the one to cause such a beautiful sound. And as they giggled still through slight coughs under a blanket that night, he couldn’t be more happy he could speak this language with Logan.

This work is also available on AO3!

If you like this please reblog! reblogs help creators get their work seen!

[loisfreakinglane]

Every month of 2021

Rules: Post your favorite or most popular post from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months). (i def went with most popular posts lol not most favorite at all)

Tagged by @silvertons THX BB!!!!!!!!

this will likely be just a long list of very unpopular dark angel posts lmao but LETS SEE 

January!

lol dark angel OFC! but this one was v real for our quarantine times tho, max and kendra struggling over buying toothpaste during an economic depression. also featuring REALLY BAD TEXT over these gifs omg how did I think this was visible rip our eyes

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/640175798090874880

February

YAAAAAAAY FEMSLASH FEBRUARY!!!!!!!! actually the most notes I got all year i’m like 99% positive. god i love debs. my kingdom for a sequel about them being sexy middle aged lovers flouncing around europe, BUT THEY HAVE TO DO A DIAMOND HEIST

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/643052722938134528/femslash-february-debs-amy-bradshaw-lucy

MARCH

kay i love that the second dark angel set to feature in this list is ALSO kendra/max content. love the relatability of shit neighbors

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/647133353114484736

april.......

lmao I got 3 gifsets, all dark angel, all with the exact same number of notes..... SO HAVE LINKS FOR THEM ALL. 

love how done max is with logan here, also love that THIS is the moment i realized logans gay ex was samantha smith

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/647410456010653696

MAX POPPING THIS BUBBLEGUM IS ONE OF MY FAV MAX MOMENTS OF ALL TIME

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/648123107944660992

oh ngl this is one of my favorite dark angel gifsets i’ve ever made, i love the lydecker max dynamic SO MUCH. def something s2 is lacking, that rly strong villain....... BUT THATS A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER POST lmao

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/647475229104455680

MAY

HEYYYYYYYYYY PEAK SEXY MONTH IG BC ITS A 365 DNI GIFSET!!!!!!! i love this movie and none of u can stop me

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/652297063070056448

june.

aaaahhhhhhhhhhh starstruck!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOVED THIS SHOW SO MUCH

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/654567729574051840/bonus

juLY!!!!!!!!!

MORE STARSTRUCK CONTENT!!!!!!!!!

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/655643306797285376

AUGUST

lmao welp the beginning of s2 dark angel giffing. here’s alec about to murder joshua. but he gives him ham hocks later to make up for it

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/659977205804335104/bonus

SEPTEMBERRRRR

more alec content, max giving him a name. tho now i’m curious if she’d never named him if he’d have gone back to going by simon........ he did have an emotional connection to that name before...... tho maybe it just would have been a horrible reminder of what happened WHO CAN SAY

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/663148065433206784/bonus

OCTOBER!!!!!!!

alec vs the inexplicably blindingly white group of x-kids that i find painful to look at as they are indicative of SOME of the ways s2 drained this show of its whole entire soul but w/e. when he said ‘i wanna get rid of you. and i just met you’ i felt that in my soul actually. i too wanted them gone 

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/664688199708377088

noveeeeeeeembeeeeeeeer

alec just can’t stay away from max no matter how many anvils she throws his way

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/667409910654484480

DECEMBER,,,,,,,,,,,, THUS FAR. 

welp they’re neck and neck and thus u get BOTH, alec posts again

HES GOTTA LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION, AND GUNS ARE WORTH A LUKEWARM SARCASTIC YIPPEE

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/669674846236606464

and he is always alright

https://loisfreakinglane.tumblr.com/post/671215017416343552

THX FOR TAGGING ME!!!!!!!!

and in return i tag!!!!!!!

@bluetiefling @tomwambsganscorleone @saint-cecilias OR WHOEVER SEES THIS AND WANTS TO DO EEEEET I TAG YOU WHO SEE IT YES YOU

[laufire]

RNM 3x04

Although I’m enjoying the season so far, I gotta say, the episodes feel super disconnected, this one most of all. I blame the fact that Liz (THE LEAD) and Rosa still aren’t participating in the main fucking plot :)))

I’m still extremely wary of Rosa’s storyline. I think it makes sense for the character, and that *for now* they’re keeping it in line with it being more about Rosa proyecting/exorcising her issues than about Wyatt Long’s manpain, but. I’m eyeing it. And I really want her to be more involved in the main plot/do more stuff. Now that Kyle is in peril and Long is leaving town (which made me wonder whether he’ll become a suspect, actually), I hope that’s where she’s headed. I loved her art (it always has so much personality in it, I love how they do it) and her quote about people changing and becoming who they want to be.

I feel that with this storyline I’m doing a reverse of my usual “things I roll with in fiction but wouldn’t stand for irl” LOL. Because if I was in Rosa’s shoes I WOULD try to deradicalize someone like Long -and there’s no shortage of people like Long in my hometown, so I’m not just talking out of my ass here-, less for him and more as harm reduction and for my own morals. But this could derail Rosa’s storyline in really annoying ways. And I REALLY don’t trust this show’s track record with race. On top of that, a lot of the discourse around redemption arcs~ conveniently omits the fact that only white male characters are pressumed to get them after they commit horrible acts. Why can’t Flint, a MoC, be the one to get a redemption arc instead, for example? It could’ve been painfully easy to switch their storylines, and it could’ve been interesting since Rosa actually disliked him in high school. But the show suddenly decided to care for Long’s inner life. Because white characters (and people) are afforded more complexity by others, more good faith.

I’m not TOO worried about Kyle because it feels too early in the season to fully close that plot. But if they killed him I don’t know that I could continue with the show. I adore Rosa, but her storyline isn’t grabbing me; and I dig Michael’s family drama with Nora and the dictator, but they’re not as ~dear to me. Kyle this season was the one reuniting it all. And they can’t kill him before we figure out everything with the communicator and his father!! C’mon. Anyway. I did love him this episode, helping out; and his scenes with Michael (my rareship is sailing! xDD) were great, from their bitchiness with the radio to their perspectives during their argument. The moment Michael pushes him to take cover and then removes Kyle’s hand from his shoulder asldkfjaf. This fandom is weak for not writing me multiple pages of this rareship, js.

Speaking of rareships sailing LOL, I can’t believe after my joke post about Bert x Kyle I got a mini scene asdlfjasdf, where Bert talks to Kyle and pays a compliment to his mother. I’ve also said since then that I wanted more Bert in the show, but frankly, I wish it was for more alien/conspiracy/fun stuff (like his artisanal beer or his werewolf obsession! or get into the main alien plot!), and not an Issue Storyline that I don’t even trust the show to handle properly.

Maria and Isobel’s vision quest was fun, although I resent the fact that the Liz we saw for half the episode was a fake (seriously, BRING HER TO THE DAMN MAIN PLOT ALREADY). I don’t care much for the two of them bonding, tbh, but if it’s what Maria wants, so be it. And her moments with Kyle this season have made me more lenient towards Isobel, at least. I’m also curious about some of the elements in the quest: the first things Maria sees are Michael sitting in her bar and Rosa painting her table <33. Bert is around being attacked by racists. I also dig that either/both of them pictured Kyle in his doctor getup (with the radio).

Wrt the vision itself, I’m still on denial about the dead being Kyle lol. I’ve heard all the theories: fake death to hide the aliens (I hope that can get solved because if Kyle couldn’t for some reason continue his career in medice it would CRUSH him), and his mother (please don’t) seem the most likely options after this episode. Others are Sanders (for the hints in last week’s) or even Arturo (for Rosa and Liz’s reactions, although obviously the “Valenti” crest wouldn’t make sense there). I also don’t see how it makes sense to cover Kyle’s death if Logan killed him? Unless Max tries to heal him and leaves a handprint. Anyway, I hope none of the above die and it can be resolved. And BTW: the SPN war flashbacks I’ve witnessed in the tags with the “killing” method are. Something. I think RNM still kept the scene dramatic and the audience concerned, but man. The risk of that reference... I don’t know that it was worth it lol.

BRING LIZ TO THE MAIN STORYLINE FFS. I like what we see of her on LA in abstract, but in practice... she’s the lead ffs. One episode where she’s out and having a nice time dancing (those scenes were lovely, admittedly) like this one can be great, but after three episodes where she’s been so removed of it all? Nuh huh. Given recent events (Kyle’s attack, the handprint on her chest reacting, her resignation) I hope it changes soon. And I hope Heath can be taken at face value, because I don’t trust this show’s track record with MoC that could inconvenience its storylines (see Noah and Diego, or even Flint). Also, I LOLED at her dream in the beginning, with her imagining Max apologizing to her and expressing her own concerns about getting lost in their relationship lmfao (as if that would ever cross his mind xD).

His scenes with Kyle seem designed to get Michael out of his funk wrt his heritage, and I appreciate it (especially if it’s THIS, and not the useless or even counterproductive pep talks of anyone else Michael cares more about that does the trick lol). I’m still eagerly awaiting for development on this front. Related to that, I’ve seen the theories about Jones being his father, but. Eh. It’s not that I don’t see how it could be possible (he’s incredibly powerful and can make fire), but. To put it bluntly? I don’t think the actor can pull off what I want from the Dictator. I want someone charismatic, and preferably visibly older than Michael that actually looks like his father. Jones would be a terrible miscast on both accounts. If they bring someone else JUST for Michael it could also be a sign of him really taking over the storyline (which I’m still iffy about because of my other faves, but it’s an interesting way to see where the show is headed).

I feel they could have taken Jones to more interesting places but there’s still time. The good news is that he shaved his godawful beard AND saved a dog’s life lol. Also, am I the only one that thought he might’ve known Noah, when he grabbed his and Isobel’s picture? I’m curious about that.

[juuls]

Podfics, podfics, podfics...

I'm looking to do some podfics of fics that have really hit me in strong (good) ways, and they're one of those I can't seem to track down in my usual manner (which is... probably on purpose, considering their received comments are set to be moderated and that they likely put up with a toooon of bullshit from people with Opinions.

(Keep reading to see which fics I'd love to podfic and why, and how you can help me find them!)

Also. Recs. Lots of really awesome fic recs, specifically for Tony-centric readers and those who really hit it off with Civil War Team Iron Man!

Does anyone know the Tumblr or Discord of: @TheSovereignofReality or @Wix from AO3?

Anyway, I'm a fan, and I just wanted to discuss maybe doing one podfic on a trial sorta thing, and then maybe doing a couple of my other major faves or a series of fics. As of my last major read-through of their fics, my favourite was definitely Mutantkind (this fic is so kickass, I love Logan). Not trying to spoil anything for any of this or the other fics, but taking up the chance at exploring the links between the X-Men and the Avengers (more Tony and even Pepper and Rhodey and such) was such a great move. A power move in so many ways, and I'm also really really eyeing the Transcendent Souls series that leads into the author's OC-linked series, Lennie Alice, and it all sounds like it's phenomenal and I just want to READ it, who cares about podficcing it??? I mean, I do, but most important of all: I'm just a fan who sees shiny fics all in a pretty series-row that I hadn't gotten around to yet (too busy reading Ramblings for the 10th time and wincing with each successive hit to the gut. Ouchies. But poor Tony too, woW. That one just hurts. In a cathartic way (even though I love Peggy, it's fascinating to explore these things!!)

Like Disney's "What If?" series if they weren't too scared to explore the really interesting things that make people tick and feel betrayed even decades later.

All of these authors, above and below, sure know how to throw those punches, and I like that.

I do have other podfic projects on the go, as well, yes, but spring is a great time for me and I get a lot of projects done pretty well on the regular. The Night King has been vanquished and the sun shines upon us again and offers me much Vitamin D and happy-stuff. :) :P

Doing a fic by @Wix would be awesome too, but I'm also not sure of their handle, unfortunately. Plus I've rarely spoken to them! Believe it or not, I can be shy. xD But there are so many of Wix's CW Team IM fics that I would just love to podfic and really sink my teeth into for the absolute wreckage and carnage that some of these characters would be feeling. Righteous anger, true anger, when you know you're right, when you just think you're right and the world crumbles down around you.... god I would love to really act those fics out and make people feel, just like we do and more when we're actually reading Wix's awesome body of work. It could be a real experience, and I would love to be able to help share that. All else fails, I'll just give these last two a message in their comments. ;)

And maybe @rayshippouuchiha might be interested in chatting with me about doing a (second) podfic of Hide a Heart of War? There can never be enough podfics of awesome Stuckony (or any ship, really), but I do also have my eyes on another few of yours that you don't have podficced, m'dear. :) I mean, Sore Must Be The Storm (wow, I relate to that title---and the fic itself---hard) would be really cool to do if the second chapter was up, (wing fics! CW Team IM! Woo!) Or the ever-so-classic "Assassination Attempts Are Not Flirting Toni" tag that epitomizes The Devouring of Hearts (which is hoestly epic and I am going to go re-read asap) or The (Not So) Great Pretender (it has a TextToSpeech podfic but those are hard for some people to follow along to --- I know my hearing issues mean I can't catch all of it, sadly, and none of it clearly! =/). Let's talk, if you're cool with me doing one of yours?? :) I would be so thrilled!

And @not-close-to-straight I cannot forget about you (ever) in this season of big eyes and planning out podfics all excited-like. Has anyone ever approached you about podficcing the entirety of your 3-part series Of Gods and Men that is ThunderIron, ThunderIron & FrostIron & Thorki, and then is PURE ThunderFrostIron with a super. special. twist. at the end omg???? Can we talk about that sometime? Whenever is good for you, if you're at all interested? Because there is NOT enough ThunderIron in the MCU, because I love Tony, because there is not enough FrostIron with Thor and Loki being awesome (usually), and then especially because there is NEVER enough poly ThunderFrostIron for my tastes and I just cannot when it comes to these fics. I just really would please love to podfic it, out of all your awesome fics this one just strikes right deep at the heart of me.

So. Um. Yeah.

This was going to be a quick "do you know this person!?!?! I'm desperate!" kind of Tumblr post, but it turned into me somewhat begging and complimenting at the same time, and it sounds totally shameless but I also haven't slept for about 48+ hours properly and I am in severe pain so the mania tends to be the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse with all that.

So. Yeah. Just let me know what you think, preferably via DM here or on Discord (Juulna#0508) or Ask or whatever. I'm happy however. And these are YOUR fics, I have zero claim to them whatsoever no matter how I may strongly relate to them or love them or think they should have their own awesome experience with me spitting angry lines back when required in response to pure sass. I would love to try/do it all. :) Spring and Summer is my podfic season, and I'm going to have a lot of fun with current and potential projects alike!

Ta, loves. And thank you for considering me for podficcing these awesome works! If you want a recent example of a fairly quick (and porny, hah) oneshot I did, I think you'd like what I did with @tsuki-chibi's The Shirt [fic]. Check the podfic out here, and then give the original author love because it is a DAMN FINE fic (and I want the shirt, hah).

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Potions and Princes (Pt.1)

-------------------------

Virgil never really had much talent, at least not where his family was concerned. His brother Logan was the brightest witch their teachers had ever met, his mother the most beautiful, and his father the most powerful.

And then there was Virgil, utterly useless and utterly pathetic at any and all magical endeavours.

He wasnt even sure he should still be at the boarding school for witches in training, he'd barely passed his entrance exams, Logan always told him that he was better at magic than he gave himself credit for, but Virgil never really believed him.

"I'm telling you Lo, they're gonna kick me out any day now! You graduate next year and then there's nothing stopping them from doing it!" Virgil said, spread out across the couch in the common room.

"Virgil, they're not going to kick you out just because I'm not here, you've been performing magic perfectly well for a sixteen year old witch, and you've still got five years left to improve," Logan said, twirling his wand in his hand and watching the blue and pink waves emanating from the end of it.

"That's easy for you to say, you've never had a problem getting a spell to work or a potion to mix correctly," Virgil said, pouting slightly.

"I think you're perfectly attentive with potions," Logan replied, spinning his wand in a quick circle to cancel the spell and putting it back in his pocket.

"Clearly you've never actually watched me make a potion," Virgil replied, grimacing.

"Well, you have some of the highest potion marks you can get, so clearly you must be doing something right," Logan continued.

Virgil paused for a few seconds, fidgeting with the hem of his black skirt.

"Can we talk about something else. . ." Virgil said finally.

"Of course," Logan said, sitting down next to Virgil and moving so Virgil's head was resting in his lap.

"How'd that meeting about your top surgery spell go?" Virgil said.

"Swimmingly," Logan said, a grin spreading across his face.

Logan and Virgil were similar in a lot of ways, but they were also very different. Whereas Virgil could go ages without a hair cut, wear skirts, and didnt mind not having his binder on, Logan wouldnt be caught dead dressed femininly, Virgil liked the darker aspects of magic, those made Logan shudder just to read about, Virgil laughed at just about anything, it took a very well times joke to get Logan to laugh, Logan had a loving boyfriend named Emile, and Virgil was so undesirable that not even a toadstool would've chanced him.

"That's good, how do you feel?" Virgil asked.

"Its a little sore, but it wouldve been like that without magic to," Logan answered

"I'm just glad your happy," Virgil said, smiling.

"Have you written to mom and dad yet?" Logan said.

"No. . ." Virgil replied. It wasnt that he didnt like exchanging letters with his parents, but they always wanted to talk about his classes and his marks, never how he was feeling or if he'd made any friends.

Granted, Virgil hadn't made any friends, he was just as lonely now as he had been when he started attending the school at age six.

But none of that was helped by his status in relation to the most famous family of witches in the millennia.

Roman Prince-Duke and Remus Duke-Prince were the most coveted pair of twins from the moment they made their availability known. Within the year Remus had found himself smitten with one Patton Boleyn, but Roman was still very much available.

Not that it mattered since he practically hated Virgil's guts. He'd glare at Virgil when he walked into the room, whisper about him when Virgil thought he wasnt listening, and would absolutely lose his mind if they had to work together.

So Virgil had given up hope of being noticed positively by the handsome prince, because Roman had made it very clear where he stood on Virgil's existence.

Virgil awoke the next morning twice as exhausted as he'd been when he went to bed. This was of course, perfectly normal form him, he never got sleep, that was just how he worked.

He checked the schedule on the side of his bed and felt his heart sink as he read his first class of the day, dueling.

Virgil was a complete disaster when it came to duels, he couldnt focus enough to get any spells to work right and he was always so busy thinking about spells that he never remembered to block them.

The sinking feeling in his chest was only amplified once he read over his partner for today's duel. Roman, of course it had to be Roman. Roman with the smile that could stun better than any form of magic, Roman with the brain that could come up with a new spell within seconds, Roman that could block any attack with a flick of his wrist.

Virgil began mentally preparing his will as he walked inside the building.

"I cant duel with him! Are you sure theres no way to change the pairings?" Virgil froze as he overheard Roman's voice talking to the instructor, he sounded scared, maybe even upset. But Virgil just assumed he was imagining things and moved on.

He barely paid attention to the other duels until his name was called, only then did he finally look up to the stage.

He felt numb as he stepped up to the center, and even worse as he watched Roman approach from the other end. He wanted to curl up in his overly-large sweater and disappear into the abyss.

"On my count, the duel will begin in five!" Virgil's grip on his wand tightened.

"Four!" He watched as Roman dug his feet into the wood.

"Three!" Dear gods why was he smirking? Did he have to be smirking?

"Two!" Virgil tried to keep himself focussed.

"One!" A flash of light, sparks, and then it all disappeared.

And in the center of the smoke, was a small, red and white, frog.

Oh gods oh gods oh gods nonononono please tell me someone else did that nonononono this cant be happening- Virgil's mind was racing as he watched the teachers rush over to what had been Roman mere seconds ago. He wanted to run, he heard yelling, angry yelling, he felt things being thrown, heard people getting their wands out.

The teachers made quick work of getting Roman back to normal, and Virgil had rushed out of the room almost as soon as he saw the shock on Roman's face.

"Virgil!-" Roman called after him, but Virgil was already rushing across the grounds back to his dorm, he didnt need to hear anything else about what a horrible witch he was, and he certainly didnt want to risk getting cursed.

He was so busy rushing off in fact, that he barely noticed the figure watching from the tallest tower of the school.

----------------------------------------------

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