#for everyone to go through and read
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#I waited till the last possible day to write anything on the wall...#I don't think it ever got published#but it doesn't matter#maybe reita saw it anyway....#it's sad they took down the site completely#I mean#they could've closed the submissions but kept the site#for everyone to go through and read#I read other people's messages every now and then#there were so many#and they always brought me to tears#damn#I miss him so much#reita#personal
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he did it! đ and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!
PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#snakes#ONE MORE DOWN#oh my god happy jamil was SO scary and yet adorable all at once#i want real jamil to see him and just be utterly disgusted#and yet he got nothing on the return of everyone's favorite twst character: WEIRD RHYTHMIC ELEPHANT#oh weird rhythmic elephant what would we do without you#me kicking my stupid little feet as jamil wakes up through sheer force of kalim though#he was SO happy for jamil and SO ready to just go along with everything. my sweet boy.#jamil getting so flustered by him that he's just shocked back into reality#and the SLAPFIGHT#silver being like 'they need this' and doing his one smile animation as kalim and jamil are pulling on each other's hair and going YOU SMEL#mmm yes delicious#also this is probably nothing but#but...they brought up the whole thing with azul having dirt on crowley again#the thing that was briefly alluded to in episode 4 and never mentioned ever again?!#i had JUST finally convinced myself that i was reading too much into it and it was just azul playing along with jamil's plan#but now they've mentioned it again and i'm going to be all BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAAAN for another three years about it#is it a meaningless reference to that one scene?! is it absolutely ridiculous foreshadowing?! am i ever going to be validated?!#I HAVE TO KNOW
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Who is this sassy lost child?
[First] Prev <â-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan#A-Yuan knows how to to utilise his big wet eyes to get treats. What a little legend.#The crowd comments about LWJ being 'daddy' and WWX being 'the mother' are a little too 'fan-service bait' for me.#So I am personally reimagining it as another layer of 'misinterpretation of a more complex situation' commentary.#I like how the different styles of interacting with children WWX an LWJ exhibit say so much about their own childhoods.#We - human beings in the real world - take two lessons from how we were parented: What we valued and what we wish we had.#LWJ leaning into indulgence is him pushing back against his own childhood of asceticism. It's something he didn't have - so he gives it.#WWX on the other hand has been *so* defined by his drive to indulge. And here he is the restrictor!#It takes a bit more to see what's going on here. The factors are not singular.#but to keep it in theme with LWJ; I'd propose it is partly his way of establishing structure when he did not have it as a child.#Both approches are a way of saying 'I didn't have this and I wish I did.'#With LWJ it's pretty obvious why...but WWX? What is at your core? What is your regret towards a lack of restriction?#Or...What benefit do you think it gives this child to learn the harsh lessons of going without?#Did it make you strong when you were a child? Do you think it is just the nature of the world and we all must learn it?#How we interact with children is such a fascinating topic to delve into our psychology and neuroses.#In a more light hearted turn of topic:#WWX confirmed to be 'person taking the car to the drive through to order one black coffee for himself' on the triangle spectrum.#LWJ is saying 'we have food at home' as he is opening his wallet ready to order for everyone.#(Technically this is comic 213 but yippee! We are in the 200's now! Thank you all so much for reading and cheering me on!)
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Dare you say this love could just save you
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#act 3 spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#so my friends want to try going through the game as fast as possible#mostly because of the short time we all get to stream and read the lines together#so trying to jam pack as much angst into this bad boy as possible#lots of little things happened on the first friendquest#but everyone picked up on the malanga fritter third time dialogue and were debating if there ever was a time bonnie had made them spicy#as in bonnie made them spicy in one loop because of the cute odile convo and they didnt make them spicy in this loop#i thought that was interesting but they also did ask me for the straight answer#so i thought thatd be a fun point to put in there :>#the draws
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âno one can take you away.â
#fields of asphodel#foa hades#foa persephone#you bet my persephone chomped right through that pomegranate#i have other commitments to work on#and what do i do#im frothing at the mouth bc of foa#everyone go read foa#if fanart#zazrichart#procreate
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canât help but think of how, if we choose to go by siriusâ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, siriusâ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldnât ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburgaâs shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names heâs being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that heâs flayed open for everyone to see. itâs not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. itâs such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
#sirius black#i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly#i just#was reading a fic#where it recounted walburga ad kreacherâs screams and taunts#and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like#even if itâs an inanimate object and a house elf#to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth#by the only remaining members of your family#and to have it be traced back to your family#to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban#and that everyone else knows it too now#to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up#no boundaries no limits#to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out#and move it around#to call your home names#i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with#is it really any wonder he was the way he was#hell. he was actually so much better than he shouldâve been#lesser men wouldâve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath#itâs so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes#and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him#or shows him any empathy#iâm actually amazed that even after all these years iâm able to find new tragedies in sirius life#HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#penâs notes
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you dream of devouring your friends whole
#the 'it' and 'that' sif is referring to is the act 3 loop hangout but i enjoy being vague in dialogue it feels natural. tee hee.#serious time means everyone gets noses btw. sorry about the slow metamorphasis back into my usual style from my mimicry#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat act 5 spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat siffrin#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#sifloop#YES IM TAGGING THE SHIP. THUMBS UP. READ INTO THAT HOW YOU WILL BECAUSE IT WAS ON MY MIND WHEN DRAWING IT AT THE LEAST#aaaaaanyway. my personal reading of loop is. how do you say... flowey-esque. to invoke a fellow antagonistic timelooper. since imo#they do seem even fuuurther gone than sasasap sif was when we saw them. and BOY DOES LATEGAME ISAT SIF HAVE SOME INTRUSTIVE THOUGHTS#so uh. who's to say what happened in there. since we know start again isnt quite congruent as loop never beat the king.#i wouldn't blame them for going maybe a little mad. just a lil#it is important to me that loop is. perhaps a bit haunted. AND THAT THEY GET THROUGH IT!!! but they are haunted#lucabyteart#anyway uhhh. probably should put a cw for implied cannibalism??#cannibalism mention
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let me see you stripped down to the boneâŠ
- stripped by depeche mode
congratulations! youâve been hired as homelanderâs entire glam squad! what an opportunity! now letâs try real hard not to let the fumes get to you, okay?
pairing : homelander/afab reader
word count : 5.6k
warnings : homelander in and of himself, toxic workplace environment, something akin to stockholm syndrome, fingering, smut. 18+, mdni
special thanks to @blindmagdalena @sehtoast @homeb0ys and @clockworkzeppelin for letting me scream at you about this!
writing tag
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Homelander is an asshole.
That doesnât bother you much. Youâve dealt with plenty in this field, which means youâve learned how to make life easier for all parties. That particular learning curve includes when to stand out and blend in, at times concurrently depending on what variety of asshole they happen to be.
As a whole, the makeup artists and hairstylists at Vought take care of The Seven and go where theyâre needed. And as a cosmetologist, you were hired to provide both services for Homelander and Homelander only, which you consider to be one of the most prestigious stamps one could add to their professional passport.
Before you became official, you were colorfully threatened by a Ms. Ashley Barrett, who, after the fact, had no qualms throwing you into the lionâs den to figure your own shit out.
In no uncertain terms were you told that if you fucked any part of this up, your sparkling resume would look best as something to sit her smooth, bare ass on while getting fucked on top of her desk. No lube or protection. It would then be tossed exactly like her salad.
Not an image you could have ever predicted crossing your mind. Honestly, you should have stopped her right there and walked your happy little ass out of her office toward pastures that might have not been greener (you were being handsomely compensated), but certainly not as toxic. While the red flags were a color you couldnât quite ignore, you were also curious about why they stood out so much more than they did regarding previous employers.
None of this is to say you live under a rock. Anyone who has access to the internet is ambushed daily by these Supesâ personal lives. Homelanderâs track record as far as choice in partners went hadnât been ideal, so you understand that made him less popular at the time. That of course has nothing to do with you or your capabilities.
You opt to wear gray-colored glasses, seeing everything with a neutral blend of black and white. As much as possible anyway.
Nevertheless, curiosity killed the cat. But hopefully not your career.
The first day was awkward to say the least. Immediately, you knew you werenât going to like your coworkers.
Glints of sympathy changed how they perceived you. A target, whether they intended for this to happen or not, was nailed to your forehead, and it made them buzz around you like avid, greedy wasps keen on seeing how rapidly the honeybee will be brutalized. You didnât much care for going cross-eyed while staring at that target whenever you crossed paths. They didnât know you, yet because of who you were working under, deemed you helpless. They didnât give you a chance to establish yourself before branding you a victim.
Why should you respect them?
Small talk wasnât entertained either, as their judgment tarnished any future encounters. They ostracized you once you showed no interest in engaging with them. That didnât disappoint you. You werenât here to make friends.
You do wonder how those before you fared: if they were jaded when they arrived or if they couldnât help but succumb to the pressures of being at the top rung of a very unstable albeit sought after ladder.
Ms. Barrett quickly introduced you to Homelander, her parting gift before leaving the two of you alone.
You werenât completely nervous in his presence. He wasnât any different to you than the other celebrities youâd worked on, except he could rip you in half like a piece of paper if he was so inclined. But heâs the hero of this countryâs story, so really, you should have nothing to worry about.
His demeanor, you noted, suggested arrogance, annoyance, and boredom. All things youâre used to. So you offered your hand to shake, which he eyed with a slightly upturned nose before grabbing, told him it was a pleasure to meet him and got straight to business.
Looking back, he was clearly expecting more out of you. Maybe not a display as excessive as getting on your knees and professing your undying love, but close enough. Somewhere in the middle, perhaps.
Part of you believes he might have also counted on fear. To you, heâs not anything or anyone unknown. Another big name in a fancy suit with impossible demands.
You were given a routine to follow and products to use. You did as you were instructed and found the process to be simple and, as Homelanderâs expression revealed, uninspiring.
While you were utilizing a face brush to apply powder, he must have decided he was done enduring your lack of enthusiasm, because he suddenly asked, âWhat are you wearing?â
You stopped for a split second, no longer than, and continued. âThe name of my clothing designer, you mean?â
He scoffed, waving his gloved hand at you, almost knocking the applicator you held to the ground. âNo, your perfume. What are the top notes?â
You laughed and that seemed to confuse him. âWhy, you want a bottle?â
âI donât like it.â He sniffed sharply and cleared his throat. âSmells like you should be on the corner selling your used body parts.â
Ding ding ding. Alarm bells and red flags galore. You enjoy a challenge, however, and are a bit of a masochist, so you persevere.
âWell, what doesnât smell like a cheap hooker to you? Iâll start wearing that instead.â
He cocked a brow, studying you. Trying to figure out if you were being serious or mocking him.
âItâs your first day.â A warning. âAre you on your best behavior, or can you do better?â He leaned forward in his chair, forcing you backward. âYou should be working harder to prove yourself. Prove your worth.â He sat back again and shrugged. âOr maybe you really are worth as much as that dumpster juice you doused yourself in.â
At this point, he more than likely envisioned your happy little ass getting offended and storming out of the room. Breaking down, sobbing. Questioning why he was being so rude. One of those or, better yet, a nifty combination.
Youâve heard worse, unfortunately for him. Not always directed at you, but that doesnât matter. You can handle it.
âYouâre absolutely right,â you stated calmly, folding your arms across your chest. He looked at you with pretentious, petulant intrigue. âIt is my first day, and I want to make a good impression. Which is why Iâm asking you what you would like me to wear so I can continue to keep that good impression intact and, as our professional relationship develops, stay on top of it.â
Homelanderâs mouth twitched. He sighed deeply and slouched in his seat, staring at the wall to the left of him. Then he deigned to cast his gaze back at you, resting his cheek on his index and middle finger. He tapped the arm rest with his other hand.
âUgh, fine. Whatever.â A pause followed that lasted longer than necessary. Were you meant to guess? âJust wear something, I dunno, less. If you would have done your homework like a good little peon, youâd know I have super senses. Highly developed. Can you even imagine what that entails?â
Finally, he freed the canvas you were nearly finished with, and you flicked the soft bristles across the bridge of his nose. You smiled, more to yourself than him.
Felt rather on the nose, as the saying goes.
He didnât comment on your grin. You didnât give him time to. But he did huff like you were being obtuse on purpose.
âI can try. And my imagination is giving me some less-than-ideal scenarios,â you replied. Another pause. At least he was letting you do your job again.
You donât know what compelled you to keep going, but something about his lack of a real answer made you carry on. âDo you have a favorite flower or baked good? Maybe a spice?â
Homelander almost glared up at you. You say almost because, for whatever reason, it didnât seem like he was directing that harshness at you, though former words and actions proved otherwise. Something inside, perhaps. Or outside of this enclosed space.
âI already told you what to wear. Donât make me repeat myself.â
You took the hint and remained quiet the rest of your session. Soon, you were done.
As you were packing and tidying up your station, he took it upon himself to stand behind you. He lingered over your shoulder, watching the scene play out like he was director and star and you were barely an ant on the sidewalk he acknowledged before squashing.
The heat radiating off of him was impossible to dismiss, a wall of it barricading your backside. He clasped his fingers underneath his cape and inched closer. You thought he was as close to you as he could get without touching you. He was that warm.
When you glanced up, he was staring at you through the mirror. As absurd as it was, you managed to get chills. Goosebumps broke the surface of your skin.
âFresh chocolate chip cookies. Straight out of the oven. Like mom used to make.â He flashed an unnerving smile before turning to exit.
From there on out, even after you bent to his will and found a gourmand scent that matched what he described, Homelander tested you. Your work ethic, clothing choice, eating habits, and most of all, patience.
Your parents would ask how you were liking your job, how it was working alongside the Supes- not to mention the most famous of all- and youâd lie through your teeth. You felt you had no choice, Ashleyâs threat ringing in your ears.
Resume, bare ass, tossed salad...
Oh yeah, itâs going great! Theyâre all super flexible. I couldnât be happier!
At least that pun made you feel a little better about hiding the shame of what youâve allowed yourself to take on.
This was all in the first few weeks. It started to get a little easier after that, which is surprising considering more was added to your to-do list.
You should have moved on before starting. But, for whatever asinine reason, you didnât.
Every time you go back to your apartment and assess your appearance in the bathroom mirror, you wonder whoâs making who up here. Heâs changing your looks more than you are his. Youâre like his human doll.
Youâve put up with a lot over the years, but this takes the cake and shoves it in your face. As fucked as it is, the flavor is growing on you. Like a fungus. Growing, nonetheless.
You canât stop thinking about him.
Itâs innocent enough, you try convincing yourself. Making sure you have the right outfit laid out the night before, the right lunch (no onions or fish or anything âfreakyâ!), etc. He is your superior, after all. You shouldnât be viewing him in any other light.
Heâs the most frustrating aspect of your existence these days, but heâs also the one youâre around the most. His penchant for workplace gossip and how unintentionally funny he is tends to make him palatable, which has regrettably become an understatement.
Months go by. Youâve witnessed how alone he truly is. How he has nothing outside of performing his tricks on Voughtâs all-encompassing stage. And when he begins asking for your input, starts doing things for you that are so blatant itâs perplexing, you find your stress and vexation melting into cumbersome fascination.
Itâs embarrassing. You donât have the courtesy of enough time to dwell on your feelings toward the situation either, from beginning to whatever end you might be met with. You suppose that could be beneficial in the long run.
It also hits you when you least expect it; when you really donât want it to.
Your body doesnât wait until you finally have a moment alone. It decides, while youâre helping Homelander with his skincare routine that he insisted upon because you know more than these vacuous corporate douche-bags, to heat up without warning and slither from your head to your heart until it grasps you unfairly between your legs.
You try not to step into momentary paralysis. You understand to what extent his powers reach. Itâs not like he doesnât go on and on about them. About himself.
Whatever he notices, itâs not right away. A palpable tension fills the air between the two of you eventually. But it takes a more significant amount of time than you would have anticipated to permeate the natural flow of things.
Fuck, you canât even be safe inside here, where your thoughts, whatever they may be, are yours. You canât even have yourself. He has every part of you, and you are willingly relinquishing that control.
Your evening, once you can have it, consists of combing over every decision youâve made leading up to this strange, disorienting space you find yourself occupying. All it does is leave you exasperated in a much different way than before and with an unsettling observation (or hallucination):
Was that the tail end of the American flag outside your window?
You are unacceptably late.
Rushing around, you throw on the first top and bottoms you see from your closet and spritz some perfume on your neck and wrists. You donât check your phone. Youâre afraid of what will pop up on your screen. And, frankly, you donât have the time.
Your only option for transportation is the subway, as youâre sure the special vehicle from Vought is long gone. Why would they wait for someone like you, even if youâre practically Homelanderâs personal assistant? One of his only friends. You doubt he has more than Black Noir, and that isnât as perfect as it appears to the casual viewer.
You dread what kind of explosion youâre without a doubt walking into once you show your miserable ass up. Youâre going to smell like everyone on this train. Heâs going to go ballistic.
The question remains: why are you continuing to put yourself through this? Itâs not your circus, yet somehow, the monkeys have become your liability.
You know, deep down, what keeps you going back. Itâs simply too ridiculous to admit aloud.
Making your way past security, hurriedly presenting your badge, you realize you forgot to brush your teeth, or at the very least, gargle some mouthwash. You thank your lucky stars when you open your purse to a pack of gum tucked away in one of the compartments.
It will have to do.
When you open the door to Homelanderâs dressing room, you see a couple of employees standing near the counter where the bag of supplies has been opened and rifled through, looking like they might soil themselves, a frantic Ashley, and an extremely pissed off Homelander in the middle of it all.
Reflexively, you cringe. You attempt to wipe any trace from your features, but itâs too late. Ashley is glaring daggers at you and Homelander can hardly bring himself to look in your direction. The others donât matter to you. They never did.
âIâm so sorry Iâm late. I know thereâs no excuse-â
âYouâre goddamned right, thereâs no excuse! I donât give a shit if god and his whole fucking choir of angels came down from heaven and divinely called you to give them a makeover! What were you thinking?!â
Youâre about to answer, though you comprehend her query is more or less rhetorical. She interrupts your slightly open mouth while gesturing wildly, proving your point.
âOh, thatâs right! You werenât thinking at all, were you?! But I do believe youâve thought long and hard about whatâs at stake here. And you know damn well we at Vought donât tolerate this kind of sloppy behavior. Not to mention the way youâre dressed! Itâs adding insult to injury!â Her hand swipes at the air, the length of your outfit, and you glance down, recognizing how comically mismatched you are. Her correct observation affects you more than it would have months prior, stinging your ego- one of the many things thatâs been shelved in order to accommodate the person who wonât even grace you with a glance.
A dramatic groan cuts short any further commentary from the redhead, perpetually stretched thin between her absurd duties.
âJesus Christ, Ashley, why are your big fucking horse gums still flapping?â Homelanderâs booming voice slices through your mind like a jarring, dense migraine. He pinches his brow between middle finger and thumb, eyes closed. âI want you and Tweedledee and Tweedledum tâget the fuck out. Now.â
Ashley is plainly dumbfounded, struggling to see where she went wrong (a pattern when it comes to dealing with the volatile leader of The Seven), mouth agape. She shakes her head. âBut sir, are you-?â
âYou donât know what the fuck youâre talking about or doing. Clearly.â
Ms. Barrett turns a shade paler, staring at Homelander and blinking owlishly before snapping herself out of her stupor. She hurries her lackeys out of the room, shooing them along like a pair of misbehaving toddlers. She doesnât give a final look, no further warning. She merely shuts the door behind her.
You also hear it lock.
What the hell does she think is going to happen?
You should have stopped this while you had the chance. You should have never taken this job. You should have stood up for yourself and walked out. You should have you should have you should-
âWho the fuck do you think you are?â
His caustic tone sends shivers down your spine. Itâs unlike anything youâve heard come out of him. And youâve heard enough.
Again, you open your mouth. It fills with blood, thick and metallic and more potent than the mint from your gum. Youâre silenced by it.
He stalks toward you and grabs you hastily by the shoulders, swiveling you around so youâre face-to-face with the choices youâve made. Your mirrored image is reflected back at you, exhausted and searching for any last shred of who you might be beneath his heavy palms.
âLook at yourself! Do you even recognize whoâs staring back at you?â No.
âWhat kind of game are you playing, hmmm? Is this⊠humiliating spectacle youâre putting on for the money? Your pathetic career? Like itâs goddamned rocket science to pick up a can of hairspray and use it. Monkeys have hands.â He makes a noise thatâs akin to a snorting horse, exhaling forcefully past his nostrils. âI mean, did you really think you could pull a fast one on me?â He clutches your jaw, squeezing it between middle and thumb. Every muscle in your body tenses, your heart picking up rhythm.
âSpit that fucking gum out. Donât think I canât hear you grinding it between your molars like a dumb animal. You arenât a mama bird, are you? Yâdonât have cute little baby birds tâforce-feed your regurgitated leftovers, do you? Eugh, gross.â
You take a deep breath and exhale through your nose. It presents you with a false sense of security. You do as youâre told, and it lands on the floor in front of your shoe, saliva dangling on a thread as withered as your sanity.
Suddenly fresh breath seems like the most insignificant issue, when Homelander himself once made it out to be something earth-shattering.
Youâre such a fool.
He leans in and sniffs your throat. Your fingers lengthen and bend.
Youâre so many things at once. Confused, angry, nervous, scared. And, to your dismay, warm. God youâre so fucking warm. Heâs heating you up from the inside out. You clench your jaw, still held in place by a firm bind.
âGet rid of those ugly clothes. I donât care what you have to do. I canât stand the sight or smell of them.â
You shut your eyes. When you open them, all you see is red. The other emotions are smothered in favor of that brand of heat. What happens next is a blur. You temporarily leave yourself.
âFine. Have it your way, Homelander. You always do.â
Breaking free of his fluctuating hold, you start tearing at what youâre wearing, tossing everything- including your bra and underwear- to the ground. Your shirt winds up with the gum sticking to its loose fabric. You even take your shoes and socks off, not paying any heed to where your belongings go. Just that theyâre gone.
You donât process the glaring fact that you made yourself naked in front of your boss. In front of the most powerful man this country, and possibly world, has known. You donât care that things have escalated this far. That they shouldnât have. They shouldnât have. But guess what? They did. And these are the consequences you both have to deal with.
âYou wanna know what game Iâm playing?â You turn around, forcing him backward. âItâs funny, I thought youâd be able to answer that for me, considering all the hoops Iâve had to jump through to not only save my ass, but make sure you had someone to talk to at the end of the day! Who on your team can you say goes above and beyond like that for you?!â He blinks at you now, eyes wide. Features fall to the floor where your clothes reside. You have his full and undivided attention.
An impressively dangerous thing to have.
âWhat more do you want from me, Homelander? I practically live with you without any of the benefits that usually includes! Youâre really going to stand here and berate me like I havenât given you fucking everything youâve ever asked me for? Because I made one mistake? I gave up my entire world, which I know doesnât mean shit to you. But it does to me.â
You fold your arms over your chest. Nothing covers it. You have to know before you lose all dignity. So you ask once more, hoping it wonât get lost in this bizarre mess.
âWhat do you want from me?â
Nothing. He canât stop staring at you. You arenât aware enough to be ashamed, but you are aware enough to be upset.
His infuriating silence compels you to bend down and gather what was a barrier between the two of you. You are no longer needed if he canât do what he does best, which is spout off, leaking bottled words everywhere like a broken faucet. Itâs a pretty simple question, you think.
Thatâs when the glass behind you shatters.
You flinch, pause what youâre doing and slowly stand. Cautious in whatever your next approach will be.
Surveying the aftermath, youâre relieved to find that youâre far enough away from the mirror so no injuries were inflicted.
When you finally lock eyes with the source, you see red. The atmosphere surrounding you heaves like the distended belly of a rotting corpse; hisses like an overflowing tea kettle; pierces you like lightning.
Homelanderâs expression is rigid. His jaw quivers. Irises are a bright, shining scarlet. If you try anything rash, you might be next. But, having been around him for so long, youâre more inclined to believe heâs having trouble processing his own emotions. And that might have been one of the only ways to release them.
You drop the top and pants you managed to reclaim. Your brain hasnât fully recovered from the constant devastating hit itâs taken, so you donât want to put a name to whatâs pushing you forward. You donât stop until youâre directly in his line of vision.
Swallowing, you carefully extend your hand. The ruby color begins to crumble and give way to the vast ocean you might have drowned in one too many times. You lost track, blocking what you could out. Too real and intimate to accept for a realm that thrives off of inauthenticity and misfortune.
Homelander inhales harshly and you retreat, pupils hooking themselves to his. Searching for any sign you shouldnât be right where you are.
Of course there are several; unfortunately, you are currently blind to them. Blind to everything but him.
Thatâs how itâs been for awhile, hasnât it?
He has a habit of not granting you the luxury of time.
Quickly, he snatches your wrist and brings your palm flat against his cheek. He exhales, eyelids fluttering, nuzzling into you.
Itâs so simple, yet it disarms you in ways you arenât accustomed to.
Homelander basks in this chaste display of affection, and so do you, in awe of how enraptured he appears. Soaking you inside of his pores.
In turn, your cognizance reappears. You nearly topple over, realization infiltrating every part of you.
Youâre not wearing a stitch.
A knock at the door startles you both. You glance over in that general direction and hear from the other side, âYouâre on in fifteen, Homelander, sir!â
Gazing back up at him, you witness that same fire expand at a rapid rate. You use your other hand to bring him back down to reality, to ground him. It rests against his chest, delving into and cracking his ribs, flaying him open.
What strikes you is how vigorously his heart is beating. How you can feel it through his uniform.
This is how much you affect him. (Can you fathom that youâre only privy to a fraction?) Having evidence of the tiniest reciprocation drains you of any unwanted discomfort.
His fury subsides. You breathe out. He does, too.
âGo sit in your chair. I came here to do my job, after all.â The tenderness with which you speak seems to ease him further, his shoulders deflating with each word.
That aside, youâre playing with a lit match. Youâre unsure whoâs going to set who ablaze, but youâre willing to go down with this entire building to find out.
He does as heâs told, watching you the whole way like a mutilated mixture of a snarling cornered animal and a man fervently in love. He almost trips into his seat, not an ounce of grace in his gait.
Sacrificing his entire image just to get a glimpse of you.
Whipping his cape to the side, he sinks into the cushion. You get things ready as you typically do, your movements a bit jittery from the adrenaline sending haphazard jolts to your limbs. Despite this, youâre focused. You are more focused than you remember ever being.
You work efficiently, keeping in mind the limit thatâs been put on your time.
Homelander bores holes through you. He doesnât need lasers for that. Youâre exposed and vulnerable and he pries what he fostered apart until itâs distinguishable by no one else but him.
You relearn his perfectly manufactured features. Different lights shape shadows you either havenât seen before or feigned ignorance of. You commit to memory how he looks, smells, feels, the side of your hand grazing his cheek and hanging on.
Heâs invigorating, your excitement building to a crescendo you canât neglect. The heat in your core disperses, most of it congregating low in your belly and behind your expanding rib cage. His pupils drink you in, urgently and violently.
Your arousal is heady. He licks his lips. A hint of a whine caresses your ears and it makes you dizzy.
How could you have ever denied yourself?
You decide to take further control, testing the waters to a greater extent.
Itâs your turn to watch him the whole way down. You straddle him, easing yourself atop his taut thighs.
After a few moments of humoring yourself, of pretending to concentrate on your work, dusting his nose with powder, you straighten. Eye contact has not been severed.
You motion toward his hands, balled into tense, repressed fists at his sides.
âTake off your gloves.â
Initially, it feels like maybe you said the wrong thing, or said it the wrong way. He doesnât budge. Youâre patient, however, so you wait like youâve always done, the warmth from your cunt mingling with the hardness beneath you. Your mouth waters.
At last, Homelander nods and removes his gloves, tugging on the index of each. He places them on the armrests and transfixes himself to you once more.
âDo you want to touch me?â you ask, voice and body staying impossibly still in spite of your nerves.
Immediately, he shakes his head, âYes,â the first time heâs spoken since your outburst, and without hesitation, reaches for your chest. You close your eyes, falling into his snooping lifts and tugs and squeezes, giving yourself permission to become possessed by the inhibited imaginations of how selfish, how rapacious his touches might be. How smooth his bare hands are, how ardent each digit is.
Leaning into you, he sucks one nipple into his mouth and palms the other, moaning and vibrating against your flesh. He digs his fingers into the pliant softness of your hip, steadying you with disciplined pressure. You squirm, attuned to every minuscule shift.
The lit match is tilted toward you now, swift and stunning. Your fingers release the brush youâve been holding. It aligns with the slit of the cushion, forgotten and purposeless.
You wrap your digits around the hand on your curves and guide him toward your throbbing center. He doesnât fight you. Doesnât stop your movements. Doesnât scold or challenge you. Instead, he curls his fingers in a way that makes you unabashedly moan, cupping your folds and pinning his thumb to your clit, adapting to your anatomy.
Your wants.
It seems like breaking away from you is a daunting task, but he does for a moment, brow furrowed, more engrossed and invested than youâve ever witnessed.
âFuck.â The curse sounds downright edible, your new favorite flavor. Your name tumbles from his lips like heâs been practicing, a sweet, rich icing on top. You gasp, his tongue adhering to you again, swirling around your peak before lightly biting it.
Rocking your hips back and forth, side-to-side, you grind hard into his palm. He strokes you like heâs studied what pace you prefer, how much friction you crave. Youâre so wet, even youâre thrown off by it.
Once heâs finished with your chest, heâs back against the seat, unable to peel his gaze from you. Your full, swollen, glistening breasts.
His mouth hangs open, obscene, desperate whimpers slipping from it. Pupils are like whirlpools that drive you under. Drive you mad.
Homelander adeptly slips two, three digits inside your sopping cunt, unrelenting in his intentions to make up for lost time. The voracity of his actions propels you forward, balancing against his chest. He grasps and pulls at your other hip, groaning loudly in your ear, confirming his approval of how close you are to him.
Itâs still not enough.
Pulling you even tighter to his blinding sun of a body, he encloses his free arm around you and desperately bucks his waist. âI want⊠I want⊠I wantâŠâ he chants. Your nails drag up his neck and along his scalp, overwhelmed by his warmth, his scent, him. Your lips ghost the sliver of skin above his collar, making him growl.
You anticipate and dread and yearn for whatâs been building for so long. You clench and release, clench and release, clench and release, body chanting with him.
Youâre intuitively thankful for the chairâs sturdiness; however, if it would have collapsed, youâre honestly not sure you would have noticed. Or cared.
You hear him come first. Feel the temperature rise temporarily. Itâs so sudden and all-consuming that you naturally follow, his name an instinct you canât help but divulge. You havenât come down from the turbulent emotions rushing through you earlier, and that combination catapults you over the edge.
Your orgasm draws more deliberate, vehement grunts and sighs of satisfaction from him, as if your pleasure is inexplicably the same or worth more than his.
You canât crumple into a boneless heap like you want to. You just canât. You have to look at him. Look at his bliss; the glazed, barren-yet-so-full-of-you expression, of what these months of working in close quarters have done to him.
What you uncover is not what you were picturing. Thereâs a mixture of that haze with something almost apologetic below the teeming surface. Clouds of red to skies of blue. Destructive in and of themselves.
Sliding his fingers from your wetness, he wraps his lips around each one that was inside of you and spreads them apart. Your slick sticks to his glossy skin and stretches between digits, a generous amount. You whimper at the loss- the emptying, hollow feeling- and watch, mesmerized and delirious as he savors you.
Swallowing you whole, Homelander sweeps his knuckles across the apple of your cheek and presses his lips hard against yours. He wastes no time inhaling your gasps and moans, licking your mouth and the faint taste of mint, stealing it from you. You ingest what you can of him as well, exploring what was open to you longer than you realized.
He then seizes your wrists. Itâs a rough gesture that evaporates into gentle circles along your pulse points. Still, you know youâre going to bruise where he turned the key and locked you into place: wherever he is.
A visible sheen coats his lips.
âI want you to tell me Iâm good. Great. The best.â
His breathing is labored. So is yours.
He kisses the inside of the wrist smeared with perfume, your fluids, his saliva; ends with your hand and rests his cheek against the slope of it.
âI want you to be mine. All mine. Mine alone.â
Youâre shaking. He moves forward and pets your hair, twirls it; grabs your nape and holds his thumb to the front of your throat. Securing you. Keeping you there.
âYou have to stay. Be mine and stay.â
You thrum with an ache he forced upon you. Heâll claim you were starving and he was the only one who could satiate.
You nod. You were never going to leave to begin with.
Homelander made you his. And you thanked him for it.
#homelander#homelander x reader#the boys#antony starr#my writing#let me see you stripped down to the bone#oneshot#god it feels so good getting this out#iâve been going through a painful writerâs block so đ„č#thank you everyone who helped and anyone who reads#this is my first full-fledged homelander fic so iâm a bit nervous but! very excited đ€#love you all đ„°
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I think my life would be fixed if I fell asleep at a beautiful 8 pm and woke up at a beautiful 4 am bc it means Iâm asleep when most people are awake and Iâm awake when most people are asleep and honestly? Couldnât ask for more
#No friends no therapy no boys#Just me and my books and my research lab and my journals and occasionally sex and the city#No social interaction except if itâs w me by myself#Just me me me bitch#You might be like thatâs a bad idea but Iâm honestly amazed at how I go out of my way to NOT sit w my thoughts itâs pathetic#At first it was like I multitask bc Iâm pre med but now Iâm realizing I have an actual problem w not allowing myself to be bored/alone#Iâll still be busy but Iâll be busy in a very intentional way where everyone is removed but me#and itâs just me by myself#LITERALLY just me#I need to go swim in a creek and run through the woods and eat some almonds and eat greek yogurt and read some books
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I've been wanting to paint Clora for a while but was brain empty đŁ
Then I saw this dress set and HAD to put her in some version of it đ„°đ„°đ„°
I've been banned from buying more clothes for the rest of the year so let me live vicariously through her (but also I'm not a ravenclaw) also also I hope that link I embedded works
OH MY GOD MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MEđ
đ
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đđ WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! the way i clicked on my inbox and then got JUMPSCARED (IN A GOOD WAY) BY THIS!!! im serious the way my mouth popped open in shock and awe was so cartoonish LMAOO. like wdym FOR FREE??đđđyour art is so beautiful and you're such an amazing painter IM SO MINDBLOWN RN THAT I GET TO SEE CLORA DONE BY YOU SHE LOOKS AMAZING and in such a cute fit toođ§ââïžđ§ââïž i fear i shall never recover from this...found dead in my apartment and its kemiichis fault.....ILL STOP YAPPING NOW but srsly im HONOURED THANK YOU SO MUCHHHHđ„čđđđ
#youve heard of cuteness aggression now get ready for THANKFUL AGGRESSIONđ€Źđ€Źđ€Źâ€ïžâđ„â€ïžâđ„â€ïžâđ„â€ïžâđ„â€ïžâđ„â€ïžâđ„#UGHHH I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THISSSS#i love her face and how light and clear her eyes look and her lipss and the shadow underneath... her face looks so soft UGHH#im a sucker for light/shading that emphasizes the jowls?? is that what theyre called?? but it just looks so cute#clora has never looked more veela than here i just love it theres something about her face almost feline like LOVE LOVE#i feel like i have amnesia cuz every time i look at it again im đ€Żđ€Żđ€Żđ€Żall over again#bout to print this and then put it on my moms fridge when i go visit for xmas LMAO everyone must see...behold my daughter...#i ALSO want to live vicariously through clora and just draw her in a bunch of cute clothes#wait that just gave me the idea to create a clora outfit#and by that i mean ill put every art ive ever recieved of clora onto a tshirt and walk around representing her like a proud parent LMFAO#ok NOW im done yapping#and kemiichi if youre reading these insane ramblings for whatever reason THANK YOU AGAINđđđđđđ#clora clemons#choccyfanart
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This newest adventure SUCKS
#my art lol#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc pomni#off mortis ghost#off the judge#anyway everyone who reads this draw the tadc crew going through your other interest like its a game Caine set up#queuwu
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There are good things in the world still
Today, I built a cool house in Minecraft! I added a small, secret aquarium to one wall of it, and it turned out GREAT.
Today, I made myself a bowl of popcorn, drizzled it with melted butter (real butter!) and tossed it in a big, silver bowl with some white cheddar powder. The bowl is the perfect size and shape to shake in a specific pattern so the contents slide up uP UP the side, and then like a little delicious wave, crash back down inside the bowl. It's Highly satisfying!
Today, three baby chickens hatched in my incubator. They are black copper marans (although one may be a blue marans), my favorite of the chickens, from a breeder with quality stock. I get to snuggle and spoil them for the next few weeks, and then gift them to my neighbor.
There are good things left in the world, however large or small they may be. This is your invitation to take a moment and find one good thing to reblog and share with others, and/or to look through the notes to find good things others have shared.
#good things#Today is Day 11#there are 1506 days left#i am thoroughly enjoying reading everyone's good things by the way#i do go through the notes myself as well#because light knows i need good things too#and the only way we're making it through is together
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I SWEAR CELEBI'S THINGY IS COMING SOON BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST THIS ALRIGHT
yeaah... future trio got me too...
and Darkrai is there too, because of course he is.
hey look i drew a cute Drifloon :D
...ignore the rest
whatever started at Darkrai doodles ended in brainrot of future trio + darkrai and I'm blaming @scribz-ag24 for this
#Can you believe between the first pic and the 4th pic is only a week inbetween. I sure can't but like why did I mirror the pose...#ON ACCIDENT??? Everytime I look at the two Grovyles I'm like... how... how did they end up so differently???#also probably blaming @cozybells as well for this but I really fear tagging people so I'm just letting y'all know in the tags because#I do wanna let everyone know who inspired me when someone did <333 better get running [you know who you are!!!!] DusnoirXDarkrai is next...#also: upon seeing scribz-ag24's art my brain said: You need to color too! ah yeah that went well with the doodle batch#I really hope you're able to read everything with how messy I can write sometimes. If not please let me know and I'll add sth in this post!#Also the doodle batch was the first thing I drew so well... never drew dusknoir before and grovyle once i think...#please go easy on me I have yet to explore the relationship between literally everyoneđ and I have no idea what Iâm doing and I'm a little#lost I normally only draw King Boo or Darkrai but I'm sure scribz-ag24 sprinkling in bits of Darkrai got me in love with the future trio to#grovyle#future trio#celebi#darkrai#dusknoir#pmd hero#pokemon#drifloon#totodile#my art#my stuff#tagas friend spoiler#pmd#pokemon mystery dungeon#IS THERE A SHIP NAME FOR FUTURE TRIO... there must be. ...oh... is it just...#futuretrioshipping#i feel sooo stupid rn.#also everytime i drew darkrai i had evil spiteful bastard in mind (except for the one with an arrow pointing out he's redeemed) but i think#i literally mixed every possible version of him in my head so got absolutely no clue what i'm doing :D#anyways i hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading through my ramblings! Have such a wonderful rest of the day yippiee <333#pmd2
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it is actually crazy having been a transformers fan for 5+ years now seeing people come in bc of tfone like. consuming megop without the 6 million year divorce proceedings. like aww wait i think these robots are gay! yeah buddy no kidding. wait til you see what kids they get shared custody over
#i beg of you if youâre reading this and youâre getting into transformers through tf one#please please please go read more than meets the eye the idw comic#itâs post war#its so funny and so charming#and the entire concept of megatron being named d-16 came from that writer#everyone say thank you james roberts#transformers#maccadam#transformers one#mtmte
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â2024 has been so difficult for me, and i want to end the year off on a high note by thanking everyone whoâs been there for me through it.
âthank you for talking to me. thank you for listening to me talk to you in return. thank you for staying on vc with me to play games or talk or draw or cry together. thank you for keeping my secrets. thank you for telling me yours. thank you for the gifts youâve given me. thank you for the advice youâve offered when i needed help. thank you for the silly messages you've sent me unpromptedâit is so joyous to be remembered when iâm not around. thank you for making me feel safe. thank you for letting me stay by your side. thank you for staying by mine.
âthe passage of time is so scary to me, i think. once things are over you can never get them backâall you can do is move forward and hold the memories close to your heart. thank you for the memories youâve given me, i will treasure them eternally. i am so happy that we get to keep moving forward together, from one year into the next.
âto kia, diggs, casey, and everyone in sweaties gang; to wewa and rei; to lorel; to eliza and mitsu; to wiz and corbell; to alex, nash, geddon, and paperd; to worm and goldie; to candy and ashe; to haze, mono, benji, and chasm; to my partners (sasha, robin, and keith); to steel; to michael, and to collie;
i am so grateful i know you. i am so grateful we exist here, at the same time, together. thank you for everything. i love you, i love you, i love you.
@dreemurr-skelememer @digglesgiggles @megaloserrr @lollipopz-shop @popiplant @aoartmthebitxh @s3-izures @otterbup @kuvlarstuff @heartstitched @thiccsys @b0tanicalb00ba @popiplant @rushroulett3 @wewawoomp @dagwmeno @onlyplatonicirl @elizakai @swiftmitsu @wizb1z @calciumdreams @psycho-chair @nashdoesstuff @unknownarmageddon @canine-teethed-sheets @fishfrypi @candy-cryptid @narrators1and2 @hazerun3 @monolite001 @bonejello @chasmbreach @xyriscomplanata @livinganime14 @paddinglily @corvidmellow @lambradire-art @hackrusty
âĄ
#and to the rest of my tumblr followers & mutuals & friends; thank you. i appreciate you endlessly#thank you for the attention and support. thank you for being here. it means infinitely much to me.#through this difficult year art has been a huge help in getting me through to the other side;#i hope you have loved looking at mine as much as i loved making it.#thank you for sticking around in my corner of the internet to watch me flourish. i hope you stay a bit longer. âĄ#and in case the very specific person i am thinking of is somehow reading this#i've been trying to figure out many things lately#one thing i am certain of nowâeven if i wasn't beforeâis that of all the wrong things going on in the world#ending an unconditionally loving friendship over a sans au ship you don't like is⊠silly. and chronically online.#but more importantly fickle. and cruel. i will not do that to these people; not for you. not for anyone else.#i will not judge the morals of those around me based off arbitrary (and in the long run meaningless) things we disagree on#but on the actions they take in the real world; the love and kindness iâve always been shown unconditionally#not everyone is like the person who hurt me#the world is so full of light and love if you try to look for it#i wish you well too.#âđŹ / text#âsunne friends#âsunnesona#<- different from how i usually represent myself in my art but still me. perhaps even more so#alright enough chattering from me#good luck in the new year; i hope very much that we are all still here this time next year#thank you so much everyone. from the bottom of my heart.
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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CANâT KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
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