#for being Me
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You know what I love?
That moment when you're sharing something you are excited about with someone you love.
And they say-
"Can you not be normal about anything?"
Yeah, love that.
#im sorry#for being me#im sorry for being like this#i just wanted to share#good omens#good omens s2#hannibal#neurodivergent#neurospicy#superwholock#supernatural
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I'm feeling so sad and isolated. I really don't know what to do. I don't enjoy doing anything therefore i don't wanna do anything. It takes so much energy to do basic tasks for me. All the thoughts in my had are racing without coming to a solution. All the rights answers seems to be negative.
I just wanna crawl up like a ball and hide. Where can I ever enjoy this world? In a world where i always feel like i'm perceived like a burden. The mean one. The negative person who is always mad and bitter. Always irritated. The one who always starts the fight. But i never want to fight. Things like this are blamed on me, because i don't communicate in the way like others do.
When i reach out for help from society, the best help they can give me is new diagnoses. I'm afraid to reach out for more help because soon i won't be able to count them with my fingers. I feel so ashamed of them, so I hide them. But sometimes i can't. When things just get to much and i get overwhelmed, i explode.
Then i am the mean one again.
How much effort do you need from me to get you satisfied? And how much do you think it costs for me?
I am exhausted so I don't have anything to pay with. If it's this exhausting to even like myself, how could i ever exist in harmony?
My explanations are excuses for you. Nothing makes me excited anymore, except the though of disappearing forever. Then i would finally get myself satisfied.
I'm so sorry for being me.
#no friends#neurodivergent#autism#selective mutism#adhd#bitter#hatred#talk#friends#sad#depressed#i am so sorry#for being me
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Me. Everyday.
Realizing we lost.
#I lose everyday#but I think I will win#but then I lose#thank you stephen#for being me#stephen strange#dr strange#funny#marvel#mcu#strange x reader kinda?
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I can't keep having the same conversations about love languages, mbti, iq, bmi, "brain fully formed at 25" and shit over and over again...
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i am so absolutely utterly scared that my insane grandfather in his 80s who runs miles every morning is going to leave me a bird in his will and i am especially scared he is going to leave me a large cockatoo named "captain hook". hook has been trying to make me his child bride since i was like 6 years old and every time i see him again which has only been a couple times with decades in between hook is like "you. it's always been you. ever since you were born i've known we were meant to be" captain hook you are a bird and i am a LESBIAN and i don't WANT an eternal sentinel captain HOOK!!!!!!!
#it's been a real catherine called birdy situation between me and captain hook#hopefully being a dyke will save me from being in the will
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the transition im crying
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People don’t understand the concept of liking two characters’ relationship in multiple contexts. They can be lovers in one setting and just friends in another, their dynamic doesn’t have to be consistent in every piece of art I make.
#it pisses me off when I make stuff for polyfam au or mitsuki/inko and people bring up bkdk#use your critical thinking skills their parents being in a relationship changes their dynamic#not everything is a romance between them.#idk it weirds me out when people make it weird
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i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.
#sorry im bored of the same tags on this lmao#sometimes i think the confessional style loses impact because everything has to be excavated from the depths of the soul#and somehow. confessional writing seems to be going with the most disaffected bland sound possible. odd.#i love deeply personal songs! i love when songs sound like they mean something to the artist!#something something wider issue of mining trauma and being performatively vulnerable for quote unquote content#idk i don’t have the actual knowledge to write about this well there’s just something not landing for me recently#mine
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If Ford didn't got into the portal..
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#my art#these brothers means so much to me :((#both of them being at one of their lowest.#im tearing down my walls im crying
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shoutout to the woman from my high school martial arts class who liked to get me in joint locks and then joke about how I was easy to catch. you cannot comprehend how psychosexually formative that was for me
#bolo speaks#I genuinely still think about her all the time. mrs. [REDACTED] I apologize for being inappropriately excited for you to choke me
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ohhh… you guys are like… STUPID stupid
#you couldn’t pay me to admit tech illiteracy of this magnitude in public in a million years#for reference the warning they’re talking about not being able to navigate has two buttons#one that says yes continue and one that says no go back
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I turn to Ares.
Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK
⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon
#greek mythology#ares#athena#greek gods#dont get me wrong it aint athena slander but it sure is ares praise#on some level at least#man justly accused of bad things deserves some mid praise more at 11#thank you romi for helping me with words though i duly noted you insisted on ares not being cautious rather than him not being careful#romi be like “i want him to care” and honestly good you should say it#also EPIC led to this and i just..... i want to draw some animatics man i just need infinite time now#my long lost love for greek myths just will never stop coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming#i want some vulture design in here for ares but not sure about this one#kochei doodles
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#It's about seeing that just because im queer does not mean i have to died like a dog on the streets#just the thought of queer people being allowed to exist long enough to grow old makes me wanna cry#gonna put my ships on blast do not judge me#kakairu#Innefable husbands#mchanzo#erasermic#wrightworth#superbat#aladarius#queer#lgbt
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when we were studying the bible in literature class (so we have the context necessary for later works that reference the bible), i think we were at the book of jonah, and one of my classmates was studying the text very intently, and then looked up and earnestly said "professor, i don't understand the will of god"
the teacher was just like. well sadly i am a literature teacher and not a priest so i can't help you there. but if it helps, many people throughout history had the same problem.
#this one of the two very heavy-hitter sentences she said regarding literature class#with the other one being “én megvetem janus pannoniust”#sorry i just. idk if it's actually as funny but goddamn in that situation it was hilarious#i don't understand the will of god...... well show me someone who does#“én nem értem isten akaratát” number one thing to say during high school literature class#🌌
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THAT one's goin on the list too now!
#bg3#bg3 tav#bg3 the emperor#baldur's gate 3#i just got to this part again in my second playthru and it#makes me laugh every time like WHO do you think you're talking to??????#stelmane??????#i think the fuck NOT#8 int won't stop finch from being petty!!!#oc: finch#my art
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