yellbug

[yellbug]

one cat in the bed with me at night felt pretty normal but now that we have two of them having them both in bed with me makes me feel like the third animal. this is a den. we are like actually huddled for warmth rn

[yellbug]

once you start saying shit like "yayy" "yippee" and "hehe" theres no going back

[yellbug]

hey i keep seeing a really disdainful post on my dash about how the op is sick of women talking about how they have body dysmorphia. it's really weird and cruel and I don't want to reblog it, but I also don't want to see any more posts like that and I want to talk about why. In short, believing in vanity and that I was doing the sin of vanity by obsessive-compulsively agonizing about my appearance did not help with my body dysmorphia, and I don't think it would be effective for a single human being alive.

believe me I know people look down on me for having this problem because it's "not real" and I could "just get over it".

to give an idea of it, when it was bad it felt and looked to me as if my face was melting or being pulled in different directions by hooks. you can talk a big game about how when you talk about this you're not talking about "legitimate" cases if you want to, and you might even believe it yourself, but I think that's a bunch of fucking horseshit. I think people who are in agony over their appearance and who see themselves as monstrous when to others they appear normal have body dysmorphia.

I totally get how people agonizing over this towards you could make your own issues worse. it is worth complaining about a culture that makes a pastime of self-loathing for women. It is also definitely complicated and inconvenient to be around a delusional person. However, I would suggest that if your problem is that people are coming to you with stuff like this, that you set boundaries about it. I certainly had to. there are people who I have told I will no longer talk about their body issues because I cannot do it.

The MAIN thing that helped me was escaping from the environment that caused these distortions and being around people who see me in a genuine way. But when I did used to encounter disdain about having this problem the most often, it sounded just like this and made everything worse. because this is really misogynist. The evil self-destructive vanity of women is a very very old idea and it is oppressive. it doesnt help body dysmorphia at all to talk about people like me with so much contempt, or to call us stupid as op does later in the post.

It also helped me a lot to approach my appearance in a curious, interested way and try to let go of the weird awful misogynist hatred that permeates that post. I think it can be really scary to try and be kind about this towards yourself and stop punishing yourself for vanity.

I don't know if I would have ever been able to get better if I had not been able to get away from the environments that were causing this in me. And if i had been less fortunate, I wouldn't have. Anyway I don't want to see any more posts like this and I'm shocked it crossed my dash in the first place.

[yellbug]

i personally quite enjoy inhabiting the social role of the woman because i want to do stuff to that social role. what im saying is that it's a fetish thing for me

[yellbug]

The Thorned Flower

[yellbug]

[yellbug]

[yellbug]

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[yellbug]

i hope someday i can figure out why it is that even though they gave me the expensive injection goo that makes you not have a migraine, the "muscle aches" component of migraine seems to persist when other symptoms are suppressed... it's definitely migraine pain it's only on my migraine side and it's nauseating and nothing causes it... but why is it happening when the migraine protein in my brain is being blocked? i guess they call it a complex neurological condition for a reason but why can't it be normal. anyway i need to read some papers about my grain but i figured why not post in case anyone else wants to talk about their grain

[yellbug]

[yellbug]

Wow!!!

[yellbug]

commensalism between slime monsters and certain varieties of fish

[yellbug]

Deltarune (Deltarune) [Imagery related to Deltarune]

[yellbug]

people who enter my home will be shown an assortment of objects

[yellbug]

the new US dollar, will feature a image of a dark spirit, which will be called a 'wraith dollar' and worth 2x as much

[yellbug]

I like that Gimli had to specify that the hair Galadriel gave him came off her head