schistcity

[schistcity]

We literally cannot let them start charging 80 dollars for video games 70 dollars was already outrageous 60 was pushing it. 80 fucking dollars. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND. For MARIO?!?!?!?!?

[schistcity]

do you want to play substance abuse with me after work

[schistcity]

Some of you guys have never burned a CD and it shows

[schistcity]

cup check. take all cups in your home and put them in your room. put them in your bedroom. put all of them in your room where you sleep. put them near your bed where you sleep. all of them

[schistcity]

free healthcare should include teeth actually

[schistcity]

NOSFERATU (2024) dir. Robert Eggers The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011) dir. Bill Condon

[schistcity]

THEM

[schistcity]

idk why but i feel like being a punk is for he/hims and doing ballet is for she/hers

[schistcity]

no matter how terrible my day is. i can always end my day in bed imagining fictional characters making out sloppy style and fucking raw. and that's beautiful. there's some good in this world mister frodo and it's worth fighting for

[schistcity]

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

[schistcity]

Hey guys! Check out this block of pure sodium that I got!

[schistcity]

voice acting as a profession is so funny because you'll see someone being like "voice actors need to be paid better! like [obscure person you've never heard of]" and you're like "oh I wonder who that person is, maybe I've heard them voice a character" and you look it up and it turns out they voice 137 characters in Futurama and 94 characters in The Simpsons and 96 characters in Adventure Time and every one of the My Little Ponies and 27 characters in Arcane and 96 characters in Kim Possible and 4 characters in Phineas and Ferb and 296 characters in Dexter's Laboratory and all of the main cast of Fairly Odd Parents and at least 6 characters in every Pixar movie and almost every animated depiction of Superman and 473 SpongeBob characters and they've been in every installment of Mass Effect and Halo and The Elder Scrolls and Fallout and Call of Duty and they were in Star Trek and Law & Order and they were 12 characters in the MCU and they also invented t-shirts and the colour green and they got paid a sum total of $3.27 and a mothball for all of it combined. then you go burn down David Zaslav's house with him inside

[schistcity]

Work vacuum died. This is the fifth one since I started working here five years ago.

The first one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The second one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The third one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The fourth one died for unknown reasons that involved my coworker vacuuming up rocks.

The fifth one died a few minutes ago and it was a big mystery and my coworker was like “oh I don’t know what happened it just overtaxed for some reason” so I looked inside the hose and—get this—it was jammed with rocks.

He keeps buying bigger and more expensive vacuums and complaining about how shitty and faulty the last ones were and every time I suggest something like “what if you didn’t vacuum up rocks” he’s like oh no it is the vacuums who are wrong.

[schistcity]

Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

[schistcity]

when enkidu dies Gilgamesh covers his face, veiling it “like a bride”. Haha (sudden low voice through gritted teeth) the ancient Mesopotamians are running circles around us. I need you to get your ass on the field and give me your best yaoi or we can kiss these quarter finals goodbye

[schistcity]

AFFIRMATIONS

There is no shame in taking a few tries to get it right

Everyone struggles with fine motor skills from time to time

I can do fine motor activities

I can locate a port and plug in a cable

I can plug my phone in on the first try

I can plug my phone in while sober

BBC Sherlock does not exist

I can do hard things

[schistcity]

something something to rise of neo-purtianism and overall decline in reading comprehension skills is rendering the humble art of the euphemism less and less effective by the day. “that’s so weird what did they mean by that 😂” they meant cock and pussy. dick. tits. ass. they meant sex. fucking, even. thanks for playing.