#food likely meant it was not being developed in a healthy environment

[dykedvonte]

I know you've had to have already touched on it but you ask for Mouthwashing asks and your last post finally made me think of something to say: the one (1) time in the game when Jimmy gets the closest to asking Anya why she's keeping Curly alive. Buddy!! Why are YOU!!! Curly wasn't your Captain anymore the moment he started talking about moving on and leaving you behind; after the crash you realized he was just your little Redemption Barbie now. The first time we open the med cabinet I thought we were going to be able to kill Curly by pouring the disinfectant down his mouth instead of the painkillers. But no, Jimmy goes out of his way to keep him alive. His "why are you keeping him alive" (paraphrasing) felt so accusatory because it *is* an accusation. Everything he does is a self-report. He keeps Curly alive so he can force Curly to be whatever he wanted him to be-- his savior, his junior, his punching bag, his best friend, his mistake, his enemy. Anya escapes from Jimmy the only way she can in the end but by then he didn't give a shit about her anyway because Curly was the easier target.

Him asking that question to Anya could even potentially be a parallel to the pause before he tells Curly he's going to "take care of it" (or "handle it", idr). Curly had the opportunity to rob him of his power-- to stop him from crashing the ship, to assert his authority and step up-- but he didn't. Jimmy asking Anya why she's keeping Curly alive is in a way taunting her with a similar kind of opportunity: she hypothetically has the ability to rob Jimmy of his power over Curly, to use her authority as the medical officer to end Curly's care, but she can't. And Jimmy knows she can't, and she won't stop him from keeping Curly alive to use him, just like he knew Curly wouldn't stop him from crashing the ship. He only gives the chance when he already knows the answer.

I think this is a misconception, Jimmy is the one who brings it up. Anya doesn't even acknowledge the idea verbally outside of saying she feels nauseous, likely due to the pregnancy and the idea of eating him.

He mentions they all agreed to keep him alive and implies the first reason is a back up food source, though, that's likely his first reason and the others just couldn't bring themselves to kill a guy or thought he deserved it to some extent. I like to think of it less as him taunting her power and more him trying to supplement his ideas into her head the same way he would with Curly. It's very reminiscent of the last conversation he had with Curly of doing something dire and not getting any push back, not by way of her agreeing with him but a non answer.

The relationships between Anya, Curly and Jimmy heavily reflect each other specially when it comes to being victimized by him and how he gets in their head. Anya is way more aware than Curly but lacks the position/power to stop it while Curly is less aware/resigned due to how long it has likely been going on despite having the power to shut Jimmy down. Jimmy is dependent on the two to actually solve his problems and do most of the leg work but becomes hostile the moment he feels it undermines his perception of them or himself in relation.

I do agree that Jimmy is aware Anya won't fight back against him like Swansea does or question him like Daisuke will. He is putting her into the same space as Curly but the key difference is he doesn't see her as a person. He is using her to supplement the active role Curly can't be but doesn't have that loyal friend aspect from her as she just fears and resents him. He's projecting on to her a lot but she never really concedes or acknowledges it in the way Curly did. He hates it and the sort of emotional games he plays with her reaches their peak when she locks herself in medical.

It's very interesting to see how he acts in the post crash without Curly as he is 100% worse but you can see how much of that is because he is aware there is no one to actually cover for his sorry ass now.

[sysmedsaresexist]

An explanation of the Theory of Structural Dissociation

This post, originally, was attached to a syscourse argument. I realized that it might be nice to have a version that can be reblogged without any syscourse or ugliness behind it. This post has no DNI, it's meant to be educational, and if it helped you, maybe consider giving it a share.

The ToSD is a very scary, highly misunderstood monster to the system community. When you think you understand it-- Stop. Because you don't.

This post, though, might be an okay place to start learning about it. I hope it helps others understand some ToSD basics.

[Some ToSD facts to know before reading]

The ToSD

The ToSD was actually started in the late 1800s by Pierre Janet. Many, many other doctors have worked on and contributed to the theory over the last century. This was the competing theory against Freud's work, happening within years of each other. If Freud hadn't been such a dramatic pervert, Janet's work might be more well-known.

It is what it is, though.

If you've heard of the ToSD, though, you probably know it from The Haunted Self.

This (now) infamous book was written by three people. One of which lost his license for abusing his patient.

Many people think The Haunted Self is the ToSD. That this is the book that started it.

These two facts have been used in the recent past to discredit the theory.

Let's talk about it.

The Haunted Self came out at a time that allowed it to really gain traction based on technology. Being able to SEE it happening on brain scans was mind-blowing, and the proof for the theory continues to grow.

Opposition to the ToSD is based on atrogenic and sociocognitive models (fantasy, no plurality is real). It really is the best model we have and one that continues to consistently hold true. So... to explain the ToSD in very a semi-simple way...

The theory states that everyone is born with an unintegrated sense of self. Children have action systems, and these are the base building blocks of who we become. These are things like energy management, attachment, caretaking, survival (ex. hunger and thirst), and many more. From these, we build responses to our environment and people around us. When looked at from afar, or as a larger picture, these action systems can be said to, "exist for their own sake", which is where the confusion stems from.

For example, a child screams for food because he's hungry, and that action system has been activated. Once activated, it becomes the primary concern, but it is still the same child. This sense of hunger and how to deal with it is integrated into the sense of self (unless you're like me and a lot of your trauma is around food, and then a division occurs, and you refuse to care for that part of yourself or reject it entirely), and slowly begins to interact with other action systems, with no delay or divisions.

For example, you learn to balance your hunger and bathing needs, prioritizing and compromising needs/wants without issue.

Typically, as we get older and develop, we build on these base states and have easy access to them at all times. They interact in a healthy, cohesive way that makes you, you.

In structural dissociation, these parts become divided due to interruption, losing access to other action systems, and they begin to build within themselves.

The amount of integration before disruption (basically age) can help explain why there are levels and why some people develop PTSD vs OSDD vs BPD vs DID. For example trauma at age 4 will likely result in DID and a lot more amnesia because there was so little integration to begin with-- the walls are built higher, before any part had a chance to meet the others (this doesn't take into account predisposition to dissociate-- this is why some children in similar situations develop a CDD and some don't-- some people are not physically capable of dissociating like that).

Trauma at 9 could result in OSDD, as parts have already had a chance to start working together. Like, you met your neighbor before the fence was built. You still know them. This level of integration can't go TOO far backwards. Once the sense of self has come together without interruption, or once those formative years pass, you can't make those same changes to the brain. Someone who's 25 and becomes traumatized won't see the same level of damage to certain brain areas as someone with early life traumatization, and they won't have developed similar neural pathways that lead to the disordered behavior.

From action systems, we get into defense responses. In structural dissociation, these responses tend to fall on the EPs-- parts that are still stuck in trauma. Emotional reactions and triggers are so far divided that they can activate unchecked, and with volatility. A big misconception is that ANPs won't know about trauma, but that's not necessarily true. Dissociation as a mechanism, on all levels of structural dissociation, is meant to detach feelings from memories, so I remember a lot of trauma but have no emotional connection to that trauma. The "not me" part of dissociation. And this happens in PTSD and DID and everything in-between.

The difference is how much autonomy that part has. In DID, that part is so far separated that it's essentially its own person (l don't want to get into parts language or "less than" conversations in this post, this is just about developing autonomy). In PTSD, these parts are still connected, so the "main", or whatever word you want to use, still accepts that the experience is their own and can integrate it into their sense of self. For example, you learn not to go down those dark alleys, but know that the rest of the world is safe. You change a few habits, become a little more cautious, and maybe the memory fades, maybe it doesn't, but you're still you.

And this can be because of age (someone was already highly integrated) or because of duration (ongoing repeated traumas, with little sense of reprieve, end up with higher walls and more division-- one time use vs longtime use).

In this way, the longer the duration, the more parts are created, and you end up with multiple EPs and ANPS (secondary and tertiary SD). Keep in mind that there have been updates to the ToSD that show there are more than just the two types of parts, and that functions very often overlap.

And that's the basics.

[himeprincessa]

Supplements and Vitamins to start your year RIGHT! 💖

Warning: Make sure that the supplements you are taking do not counteract as this could lead them to be ineffective or even dangerous. Vitamins that interact tend to need to be space out by four hours.

Morning

Iron: It is really common for young adults (especially those who are living on their own for the first time) to develop iron deficiency. Common symptoms are dizziness, a fast heart rate or brittle nails. If you have these symptoms check in with your doctor as taking too much iron can make you sick as well. If you are iron deficienct but don't have full blown anemia, you can take multivitamins that contain iron. These will help boost your levels and keep you full of energy.

Allergy pills: TAKE ALLERGY MEDICINE!!! Especially if you live in an urban environment that contains a lot of trees that produce pollen. It is not normal to be sniffling, coughing and feeling fatigued just from natural air. Generic works just as well as name brand.

Allergy Nasal Spray: If you are like me and your allergies are more extreme, I recommend a nasal spray. These can be prescribed by your doctor or bought over the counter.

Lunch

Multivitamins: If you take nothing else, make sure to take a multivitamin! They contain the majority of vitamins we need everyday to function. So if you're feeling tired even after sleeping a lot, it might be that you're not getting the essential nutrients you need. This can lead to acne, fatigue generally making your body weaker. Make sure to look at the label to see how much daily percentage the bottle you chose has.

Probiotic: One of the most important parts of our body is our gut. It affects our mental health and functioning of our physical bodies. Probiotics help introduce good bacteria into our stomachs as it's needed to keep it healthy. Probiotics can also be found in drinks like kombucha.

B-12: This vitamin helps so much with energy! I started taking 500 mcg but I felt it wasn't enough so now I'm taking 1,000. It's always good to start with a lower dose of any vitamin to see how you react to it.

Biotin: We all know how beneficial biotin is for looking good. It helps strengthen your nails, hair and skin.

Dinner

Calcium: This vitamin helps strengthen your teeth and bones. It's typically considered a supplement you start taking as you're older but by then it's already too late in a sense. I also recommend taking the magnesium zinc version. On top of these two being good for you, they help the calcium absorb so much better.

Fiber: OK I just ran out lol so here's a stock photo. Because most modern food is so processed we typically do not get enough fiber in our diet. Fiber is so important to keep our digestive system running. Adding 5 grams of fiber can make such a difference.

Optional

Saw Palmetto: If you have issues from hair loss like me, anemia is so awful, this can help a lot. Depending on your body, it can either help stop the thinning or even help regrow it. However this is a herbal remedy that can affect your hormones. Thus, it can cause mental health reactions and should be used with caution if you struggle with it.

Get Lit: This I bought on a whim from the Sephora sale! It is meant to help with both skin issues and your mood. It's the type of supplement where you dissolve it into water.

[tanadrin]

What type of genetic engineering have the humans of the Sogant Raha universe done to themselves for the long ship journeys? For example, I could imagine tweaks like can "produce vitamin C" (and maybe other vitamins) or "increased production of essential amino acids" would help with a lot of dietary problems (which would also be supplemented by engineered food sources). Anything else (visual spectral acuity, mutation resistance)?

A big class of genetic alterations necessary to survive particularly in the interstellar phase of civilizations involves low-gravity adaptation and a slower metabolism. The human body being able to develop properly in microgravity and not suffer precipitous loss of bone density means you don't have to have large rotating sections on your spaceship, which makes building interstellar craft much easier from an engineering standpoint. And it makes them much lighter, which is important when trying to cover massive distances using rockets! Other important genetic alterations are going to include resistance to non-infectious diseases (infectious diseases are pretty easy to control when your environment is entirely artificial), like cancer and degenerative diseases of the brain and nervous system.

Depending on the branch of humanity we're talking about, and how far into the exile, some of the alterations were more dramatic--radiation resistance, adaptation to low-pressure environments, major morphological adaptations (say, toward something more resembling our arboreal cousins, handy in low-gravity environments), and optional or even obligate parthenogenetic reproduction. Some, but by no means all of these genetic alterations would be reversed or the underlying genes silenced during the planetary phase of civilization. By the late exile, genetic engineering is skillful enough in some branches that you might have human populations for whom extended periods in microgravity automatically triggers a reactivation of spacefaring adaptations.

When it comes to the people of Ammas Echor specifically, a couple of generations after the ship had been launched from Rauk, almost all of its inhabitants were adapted genetically and physically to spacefaring life. This was mostly down to records of genetic engineering technology preserved aboard its predecessor Gyandamantu, which meant that the Ammas Echor's passengers didn't have to rediscover all of that themselves, but it was also down to a heavy utilization of cybernetic augmentation in addition to genetic alteration--these augmentations improved strength, helped regulate the metabolism, allowed for long-term hibernation to conserve resources, and helped to both avoid and heal major injuries, such that most of the ship's crew enjoyed a healthy lifespan centuries long, and many longer.

But few of these changes made it into the planetary population of Sogant Raha, since they represented overspecialization toward life in space--during the last century or so of final approach, the Archive considered reverting toward the more baseline form that had been common at Rauk. Attention also had to be paid to areas which had been long neglected by the genetic science of the Exile, like the immune system. Ultimately, the last couple of generations raised as they approached Kdjemmu were in some ways significant throwbacks--they possibly erred in reverting too far toward the baseline, but they were understandably worried about having children that would be totally unsuited to life in a complete, naturally-evolved biosphere.

The spacefaring type didn't go extinct overnight, though. Besides being long-lived, the Archive needed members to remain aboard the ship while it was in orbit and keep things running even as colonization began, and it was projected that the Ammas Echor would be the center of Sogantine civilization for a few centuries at least. Those Archivists who did venture to the surface had to do so in heavy environmental support suits. And when the ship was lost, the handful that remained would have lost the ability to maintain those suits if they broke down, much less create new ones.

Once the final Archivists of the spacefaring type died out, the Sogantine population would have been pretty close to present-day humans for the most part, with some key differences. Visually, they did not resemble any particular phenotype familiar to us. They lacked a propensity to most common genetic diseases familiar to us (though some of these, or new ones, might show up again in subsequent centuries). They were better adapted to childbirth--this is something Exile geneticists had worked hard at fixing, and weren't about to inflict on their children again--meaning much lower baseline maternal mortality rates. And the frequency of really negative recessive traits was reduced, meaning that despite being pretty genetically homogeneous during the Settlement period, the small population size was not as deleterious to long-term health as might otherwise be expected.

Sixty thousand years is a long time--long enough for plenty of new phenotypes to arise and for a moderate degree of divergence between widely-separated populations--but even quite late in the timeline, Sogant Raha mostly has less genetic diversity than Earth does today. Not that there aren't exceptions--the Dappese are outliers, far enough removed from other populations that pairings with them produce markedly lower fertility rates, and I haven't even begun to touch on the Cloud-Faced People.

[pureblisscleanings-blog]

The Hidden Dangers in Your Home: Why Regular Housekeeping in Dade City is Crucial

The Hidden Dangers in Your Home: Why Regular Housekeeping in Dade City is Crucial

Every home is meant to be a sanctuary, a place where families feel safe and comfortable. However, lurking within the walls of even the tidiest homes are hidden dangers that can pose risks to your health and well-being. In Dade City, where the warm and humid climate can exacerbate certain household issues, regular housekeeping is more than just a chore—it’s a necessity. From allergens and mold to pests and hidden toxins, maintaining a clean and organized home is crucial to keeping these hazards at bay.

Common Household Hazards

Dust and Allergens Dust accumulates quickly in homes and is a leading cause of indoor allergies. It can harbor dust mites, pet dander, and pollen, which exacerbate respiratory issues like asthma. In Dade City, where windows are often opened to enjoy the mild weather, more outdoor allergens can find their way inside, making regular dusting and vacuuming essential.

Mold and Mildew The humid climate of Dade City creates the perfect environment for mold and mildew growth, especially in areas like bathrooms, kitchens, and basements. Mold spores can trigger allergic reactions and respiratory problems, and some types, like black mold, can be particularly harmful. Regular cleaning and proper ventilation are key to preventing their spread.

Pests and Vermin Insects and rodents are more than just a nuisance; they can carry diseases and damage property. Crumbs, spills, and clutter create an open invitation for pests like ants, cockroaches, and mice. Regular housekeeping, including proper food storage and waste management, can help deter these unwelcome guests.

Hidden Toxins Many homes unknowingly harbor toxins such as lead, asbestos, and volatile organic compounds (VOCs) found in certain paints, cleaning products, and furniture. Prolonged exposure can lead to serious health issues, including neurological damage and cancer. Choosing non-toxic products and maintaining a regular cleaning schedule can reduce these risks.

The Benefits of Regular Housekeeping

Improved Air Quality Regularly cleaning and dusting surfaces, vacuuming carpets, and washing linens can significantly improve indoor air quality, reducing the prevalence of allergens and pollutants.

Preventative Maintenance Housekeeping allows you to spot potential problems early. Water leaks, peeling paint, or small pest infestations can be addressed before they turn into costly repairs or significant health risks.

Enhanced Mental Well-being A clean and organized home has psychological benefits. Studies show that clutter can increase stress and anxiety, while a tidy space promotes relaxation and productivity.

Healthy Living Environment Routine cleaning minimizes exposure to germs, bacteria, and other harmful substances, creating a safer and healthier environment for you and your family.

Practical Housekeeping Tips for Dade City Residents

Stay Consistent: Develop a cleaning schedule that includes daily, weekly, and monthly tasks to ensure no area is overlooked.

Focus on High-Risk Areas: Pay special attention to kitchens, bathrooms, and any area prone to moisture or heavy use.

Use Eco-Friendly Products: Opt for natural cleaning solutions that are free from harmful chemicals to protect your health and the environment.

Control Humidity: Use dehumidifiers and ensure proper ventilation to keep mold and mildew at bay.

Conclusion

Hidden dangers in your home can pose serious threats to your health and well-being if left unchecked. In Dade City, where the climate can exacerbate issues like mold growth and pest infestations, regular housekeeping is not just about aesthetics—it’s a critical step in maintaining a safe and healthy living environment. By staying vigilant and adopting consistent cleaning habits, you can protect your home and your loved ones from the invisible hazards that may be lurking within. A clean home is not only a happy home but also a safer one.

Housekeeping Dade City

abliss@pureblisscleaning.com

Call: - +1 813 838 2810

[partyplexx1]

Dog Supplies: My Best Selections for Every Pet Owner

In the event you own one, it is necessary to see that your pet is well looked after. The right supplies contribute to a safe environment and a dog's health, which also makes pet ownership a better experience.

However, My dog supplies have different products that meet various dogs’ needs, whether you are just starting out or trying to upgrade what you have. In this look at My Dog Supplies, this piece covers what owners of pets should find out about, including basics like dog houses.

Cozy and long-lasting beds for dogs

A comfortable place for your dog to sleep is the most important thing needed for its good health and happiness. My dog supplies have developed different types of beds for different breeds and sizes of dogs.

They go from orthopedic ones suitable for older dogs through soft, snugly alternatives meant for small breeds, thus giving you limitless options. These beds are made using high-quality materials that offer comfort and support, ensuring your dog has a good night's sleep.

Fashionable and Practical Dog Houses

It is a safe refuge rather than just a shelter for dogs. Through My dog supplies, you can find different varieties of dog cages that have combined fashion with practicality. Wooden houses of the traditional type as well as modern versions with insulation are some of the ones available to suit your dogs’ requirements and your tastes in general. When it comes to such buildings, they’re also constructed to endure different seasons, thus ensuring that the dog remains comfortable throughout.

Trustworthy and Safe Dog Crates

In terms of discipline, traveling, and providing a secure zone, crates are essential for dogs. However, this company offers hardy lid-secured boxes for sale in various sizes featuring many breeds.

In addition to being sturdy enough, these cases are made with safety considerations at heart; they allow enough air circulation and offer convenience through their doors that one can easily open when necessary.

As such, you will get dependable options, whether you need a cage during potty training or that will keep your pet in place while you are out.

Tricky Toy Dogs Mental Exercise

Mental exercise is necessary for your dog's health. My dog supplies a variety of dog toys that are designed to stimulate and entertain your dog. They come in various shapes and sizes, including interactive puzzles or tough chews, so there’s something for every dog. These toys are fun to use and help to reduce anxiety, stop destructive chewing habits, and keep your pet occupied.

Top Quality Dog Food and Treats

The health of your dog is nutrition-based; as such, we have in-stock various choices of high-quality food as well as treats at My dog supplies. It could be grain-free food that you want for the allergic one or just some tasty snacks that your canine cherishes; whatever the case maybe, we have got you covered with top brands that put priority on healthy organic ingredients. By feeding them nutritious meals, you ensure they lead an active and healthy life.

Essential Dog Grooming Supplies

My dog supplies several grooming tools and products like brushes, shampoos, and nail clippers, among others. These supplies make it easy for the groomer to work on your dog in an effective way toward making her look better than before. But if you have the right tools for grooming your pet’s coat, skin, nails, etc., you will never experience incidences of matting hair, overgrown nails, or skin infections.

Final Thoughts

My Dog Supplies are not limited to providing comfort and shelter only but also cater to other needs like nutrition and grooming.

You can strengthen your relationship with your canine friend by purchasing quality items like dog houses, beds, or toys. For long-lasting dog houses that are well made to keep them safe from rain storms or improve their general comfortability while inside them, just get in touch with My dog supplies today. By purchasing the appropriate products for your pet’s needs, you can make sure that they live a happy life that is filled with healthiness and comfort.

[myscottsdale]

Children's Dental Hygiene Tips from My Scottsdale Dentist

Introduction: 

Children’s dental hygiene is a concern from the moment a child’s first teeth come in, but treatment doesn’t necessarily start right away. Says Cindy, dental hygienist at My Scottsdale Dentist, It’s more monitoring and education than strictly treatment until they are about a year old, usually. We don’t want to leave a bad impression with kids.

Children's Willingness to Participate

"Some kids open right up," Cindy notes regarding children's readiness to begin dental hygiene. "Other kids, we don’t push into it. We are more concerned with making them comfortable than getting them in the chair right away." It's important to create a positive and welcoming environment so that children associate dental visits with positive experiences rather than fear or discomfort. Establishing trust early on helps in building a foundation for lifelong dental health.

Early maintenance is important, however: without proper care, children’s teeth can become infected or abscessed, causing intense pain. Some primary molars, located near the back of the mouth, aren’t replaced until ages 10 to 14. Those teeth have to last until they are naturally replaced — losing them early due to neglect or poor hygiene can cause problems that extend beyond a child’s chompers later in life.

Importance of Early Maintenance:

Despite a gentle approach, early maintenance is crucial. Without proper care, children's teeth can become infected or abscessed, causing intense pain. Primary molars, located near the back of the mouth, aren’t replaced until ages 10 to 14. These teeth need to last until they are naturally replaced. Losing them early due to neglect or poor hygiene can cause long-term problems beyond dental health. These issues can include misalignment of permanent teeth and potential complications with jaw development. Therefore, it is essential to emphasize the importance of regular dental check-ups and cleanings from an early age.

The Impact of Dental Hygiene on Overall Well-being

Steven H. Poulos, a doctor at My Scottsdale Dentist in Scottsdale, AZ, understands these issues well. "Lack of proper dental hygiene can lead to bad breath, which lowers a child’s self-confidence during an important time in the development of their social skills," says Dr. Poulos. Proper dental hygiene can also prevent painful conditions such as cavities and gum disease, which can affect a child's ability to eat and speak properly. Maintaining good oral health is integral to overall well-being and self-esteem.

Many bad habits are also unrelated to brushing and flossing, warned Steven Poulos DDS. Digit sucking and protracted pacifier use can lead to palate complications and a malformed bite.

There are a few distinct aspects that separate kids dentistry from adults. Length of appointments, types of treatment and their frequency make every visit unique — just like the smiles that they are meant to keep healthy.

We usually to concentrate more on education with kids than adults, though we try to educate anyone who comes in about how to brush properly, about eating good foods, et cetera, said Poulos. Kids also always get fluoride treatment, where an adult might only receive it based on their history of cavities.

Addressing Bad Habits Early:

Dr. Poulos also warns about habits unrelated to brushing and flossing. "Digit sucking and prolonged pacifier use can lead to palate complications and a malformed bite." These habits can alter the shape of the mouth and teeth, leading to the need for orthodontic intervention later on. Parents should encourage children to stop these habits early to prevent such issues. Providing positive reinforcement and alternatives, such as using a comforting toy or blanket, can help children break these habits.

Pediatric dentistry differs from adult dentistry in several ways, including the length of appointments and types of treatments. "We usually concentrate more on education with kids than adults," Dr. Poulos explains. "Kids also always get fluoride treatment, whereas an adult might only receive it based on their history of cavities." Fluoride treatments help strengthen enamel and prevent decay, which is particularly important for young, developing teeth. The pediatric approach also involves using smaller, child-friendly tools and techniques to ensure a comfortable experience.

Kids have heard from their parents — and parents, from their dentists — that candy, sugary drinks like soda and even pacifiers can cause dental issues down the road. But there are a couple of less-obvious practices that even parents might not suspect for the degradation of their child’s dental health.

Braces and Orthodontic Care:

One widely feared aspect of kids' dental care is braces. Not all kids need or get them, and the necessity is evaluated on a case-by-case basis around age six. Factors like genetics and certain childhood habits, such as digit sucking, can force teeth into an unnatural shape, potentially requiring braces to correct. Early assessment by an orthodontist can help determine the best course of action and the optimal time to begin treatment. Addressing alignment issues early can lead to more effective and shorter treatment durations.

Identifying and Avoiding Harmful Practices

Kids have often heard from their parents and dentists that candy, sugary drinks like soda, and even pacifiers can cause dental issues. However, there are less-obvious practices that can degrade dental health. Educating both parents and children about these hidden dangers is key to preventing future dental problems.

The Danger of Sports Drinks and Bottled Milk:

Poulos’s chosen culprit? Sports drinks in older kids, Doc said, âcan be as bad for the teeth as any soda. Another dentally-dangerous habit, according to Dr. Poulos, is putting kids to sleep with bottled milk as opposed to water due to the concentration of sugar in the former. Everyone notices a nice smile, just like how everyone notices a bad one. There are many principles and practices that can help ensure the health of a child’s smile, but the most important tenet is education. Parents know that children can be obstinate about avoiding bad foods, limiting sugary drinks and actually brushing their teeth twice a day, but a pea-sized lesson every day can save you and your kid time, money and grief down the road.

Education: The Key to Healthy Smiles

Education is the most important principle for ensuring the health of a child’s smile. While children can be obstinate about avoiding bad foods, limiting sugary drinks, and brushing their teeth twice a day, daily lessons can save time, money, and grief in the long run. Teaching children about the importance of dental hygiene and guiding them to make healthy choices will help establish lifelong habits. Fun and interactive activities, such as using a timer while brushing or picking out their own toothbrush, can make dental care more engaging for children.

"Kids have age on their side," Dr. Poulos points out. "There’s time for them to begin practicing healthy habits that adults don’t have. That gives them all the more reason to pay attention and start developing those healthy habits early." Parents should lead by example and make dental care a fun and engaging part of their daily routine. Consistency and encouragement are key to helping children develop and maintain good oral hygiene habits.

Conclusion:

Good dental hygiene is essential for your child's overall health and well-being. By establishing healthy habits early, you can set the foundation for a lifetime of healthy smiles. Regular dental visits, proper brushing and flossing techniques, and a balanced diet all contribute to maintaining excellent oral health.

To schedule an appointment or learn more about our pediatric dental services, visit our website or contact My Scottsdale Dentist today. We're dedicated to helping your child achieve optimal oral health. Our friendly and knowledgeable team is here to support you and your child every step of the way, ensuring that their smiles remain bright and healthy for years to come.

Kids have age on their side, said Dr. Stevens. There’s time for them to begin practicing healthy habits that adults don’t have. That gives them all the more reason to pay attention and start developing those healthy habits early.

[gutavatar]

List of 10 Best Foods for Improving Your Gut Health

The term "gut health" has been increasingly popular in the last few years. But what is meant by "gut health"? It's basically the microbiome, or the balance of bacteria, yeast, and other microorganisms that reside in your digestive system. Digestion problems like bloating and diarrhea may occur when this delicate symbiosis is upset by factors like stress or a bad diet.

At GUTAVATAR, we believe that gut health is the foundation of true wellness. Our carefully chosen assortment of Ayurvedic herbal items and supplements is intended to enhance a diet high in foods that nourish the gut. Whether your goal is to improve general vitality, strengthen immunity, or ease stomach problems, our products use nature's healing power to help you achieve it.

Apart from this, it is essential to take Foods to Improve Gut Health. This article explores what are the Foods to Improve Gut Health, how to improve gut health.

How can gut health be improved?

Here are some ways you can do the same in terms of gut health improvement:

Eat foods high in prebiotic fiber

Consume digestives and probiotics

Reduce your sugar intake

Steer clear of unnecessary antibiotics.

Engage in regular exercise

Make time to sleep

Make sure you are getting adequate liquids

Decrease tension

Eat food that is prepared yourself.

Drinking alcohol

List of Foods to Improve Gut Health

1. Curd yoghurt

Accept the probiotic properties of yogurt, a common food in Indian homes. Yogurt is high in good bacteria. It supports the immune system and digestion by helping to maintain a balanced gut flora.

2. Turmeric

Turmeric, well known for its anti-inflammatory qualities, is a spice that's frequently used in Indian cuisine. Turmeric's key ingredient, curcumin, has the potential to reduce inflammation and calm the gastrointestinal system.

3. Dal (lentils)

Lentils are a great source of prebiotics, which are substances that support the healthy bacteria in your digestive system. They are also high in fiber. They also help healthy digestion by offering a consistent stream of energy.

4. Ginger

Ginger is a multipurpose spice that has long been recognized for its digestive advantages. It can lessen inflammation, ease nausea, and increase the synthesis of digestive enzymes.

5. Methi fenugreek

Because of their high soluble fiber content, fenugreek seeds can help ease constipation and support a healthy gut environment. They add a unique flavor and are frequently used in Indian cuisine.

6. Chaas Buttermilk

Buttermilk, a well-liked traditional beverage, can be easier to digest than ordinary milk and is a good source of probiotics. This is one of the Foods to Improve Gut Health which supplies hydration and aids in preserving intestinal harmony.

7. Whole Grains

Use whole grains like quinoa, brown rice, and millet in favor of processed grains. These grains have a lot of fiber, which helps to maintain regular bowel motions and a healthy digestive tract.

8. Garlic

Garlic has prebiotic qualities that go beyond its gastronomic appeal and can encourage the development of healthy bacteria in the stomach. It also possesses antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties.

9. Caromed seeds, or Ajwain

Indian cooking frequently uses ajwain because of its digestive qualities. It can be a useful supplement to your meals by reducing gas, indigestion, and bloating.

10. Coconut

Medium-chain fatty acids found in coconut are readily digestible and can be found in the fruit, oil, and shredded coconut, among other forms. Additionally, this best Foods to Improve Gut Health has antibacterial qualities that could be advantageous to intestinal health.

Conclusion

The journey to well-being begins in your stomach. It is most important to consider healthy Foods to Improve Gut Health. People of all ages and genders should consider their stomach problems to establish healthy behaviors that will improve their general well-being.

[harrypotterecollectoritems]

Meal Planning On A Budget

Eating healthy doesn't have to break the bank. With a little bit of planning and creativity, you can enjoy nutritious and delicious meals without sacrificing your budget. In this article, we will show you how to master the art of healthy meal planning on a budget.

Gone are the days when eating healthy meant spending a fortune on specialty ingredients or pre-packaged meals. By focusing on whole foods and making smart choices at the grocery store, you can nourish your body without emptying your wallet.

We will provide you with practical tips and strategies to help you save money while still enjoying a variety of nutritious meals. From shopping smart and buying in bulk to repurposing leftovers and embracing seasonal produce, we've got you covered.

Whether you're a busy professional, a student, or a parent on a tight budget, this article will empower you to make healthy eating a reality. So let's dive in and discover how you can prioritize your health without breaking the bank.

The importance of healthy meal planning

Healthy meal planning is not just about saving money, it's also about taking control of your health. When you plan your meals in advance, you are more likely to make healthier choices and avoid the temptation of fast food or unhealthy snacks. By incorporating a variety of nutrient-dense foods into your meal plan, you can ensure that your body gets all the essential vitamins and minerals it needs to thrive.

In addition to improving your physical health, meal planning can also have a positive impact on your mental well-being. When you have a plan in place, you eliminate the stress and decision fatigue that often comes with figuring out what to eat every day. This allows you to focus your time and energy on other aspects of your life, knowing that you have healthy meals ready to go.

Meal planning can also help you stay on track with your weight loss or fitness goals. By portioning out your meals in advance, you can control your calorie intake and ensure that you are getting the right balance of macronutrients. This can be especially beneficial if you are trying to lose weight or build muscle.

So, whether you're looking to save money, improve your health, or simply make your life a little bit easier, healthy meal planning is a habit worth adopting.

Benefits of meal planning on a budget

Meal planning on a budget offers a range of benefits beyond just saving money. When you plan your meals in advance and shop strategically, you can make the most of your ingredients and minimize food waste. This not only helps you save money but also reduces your impact on the environment.

Another advantage of meal planning on a budget is that it encourages you to try new recipes and experiment with different flavors. By planning your meals in advance, you can incorporate a wide variety of fruits, vegetables, grains, and proteins into your diet. This not only keeps your meals interesting and delicious but also ensures that you are getting a diverse range of nutrients.

Meal planning on a budget also promotes healthy eating habits. When you have a plan in place, you are less likely to rely on convenience foods or takeout meals, which are often high in sodium, sugar, and unhealthy fats. Instead, you can focus on creating balanced meals that are packed with nutrients and flavor.

Lastly, meal planning on a budget can help you develop valuable cooking skills. As you become more familiar with different ingredients and recipes, you will gain confidence in the kitchen and be able to whip up delicious and nutritious meals without relying on expensive pre-packaged options.

In the next sections, we will explore practical tips and strategies to help you save money while meal planning on a budget.

[24x7pharma]

Amazing 9 Foods that are full of Probiotic

Choose foods that may kill two birds with one stone if you wish to eat healthy food and maintain your intestinal flora. Let me demonstrate what they are.

You read about the significance of balancing gut flora on a daily basis, but few people actually understand what it entails or exactly how to restore it if a problem arises. Gundry MD Vital Reds is a drinking powder for youngsters that boosts energy, stamina, and youthful skin. Most people are particularly ignorant of how it helps to increase energy, improve good digestion, and enhance overall well-being.

Probiotics are bacteria or fungi that, when taken, improve a person's health. Probiotic bacteria, which are good for health and boost the digestive and immunological systems of the gut bacteria, increase the body's resistance to illnesses. Probiotic meals and specific probiotic treatments are two ways that probiotics can enter the body.

Foods that include probiotics are beneficial since they are packed with scrumptious treats and healthy bacteria that assist maintain a balanced environment in the stomach. In this article (Amazing 9 Foods that are full of probiotics), we will point out 9 foods that will you to live a happy life by benefitting you with a full of probiotics.

These Amazing 9 Probiotic Foods are Available for Your Selection.

Kombucha

Kombucha is a traditional fermented beverage created using black or green tea and a SCOBY colony of symbiotic bacteria and yeast. This functional healthy food can only provide its probiotic benefits if it hasn't been sterilized, therefore you should get a minimal-sugar, chilled kombucha.

Kefir

This cultured milk product, comparable to yogurt, is a unique combination of dairy and matured kefir grains. The phrase, which originally originated in Russia and Turkey and meant "taste well," has been used for well over 3,000 years. It has a taste that is somewhat acidic and bitter and contains somewhere between 10 and 34 bacterial microorganisms.

Yogurt

The most well-known source of food of probiotics is yogurt. Our intestines have a sensitive, healthy equilibrium that is supported by "good" bacteria. Probiotics have also been recommended to aid with lactose intolerance recovery. They also treat other gastrointestinal issues such as gas production, diarrhea, and many others. Live and vibrant cultures are dependable at all times!

Greek yogurt occasionally helps men with ED problems. Cenforce 200 mg and Fildena 100 mg are further ED treatment aids in addition to yogurt.

Sour cabbage

Select the unpasteurized milk kind. This technique eliminates the live, beneficial bacteria. Kimchi, the Korean "brother" of sauerkraut, is also rich in immune-stimulating minerals that help prevent infections.

Supple cheeses

Not every microorganism reaches our tummies and intestines, despite the fact that it is the finest option for processing. Nevertheless, research indicates that the bacteria found in fermented, soft cheeses like Gouda are tenacious enough to succeed.

Some other cheeses should not be consumed by men since they might worsen ED problems. Fildena 100 mg and Cenforce 100 pills can help you treat ED, so don't worry.

Buttermilk

Buttermilk was created as a by-product of the butter-making process, and it was the liquid left over after churning butter that allowed airborne bacteria to develop and convert lactose carbohydrates in dairy into lactic acid.

Even today, non-fat or low-fat milk and a bacterium culture are combined to create buttermilk. A tangy, aged liquor that is thicker than milk makes the conclusion. In addition to easing pancake batter, buttermilk is the unidentified component in coleslaw that gives it its creamy texture and sour flavor.

Kimchi

Kimchi is a traditional Korean side dish cooked by simmering vegetables (most frequently cabbage) with a variety of spices and herbs for a few days or a week. This well-known fermented dish is well-known for its strong scent, spiciness, and probiotic content.

Green olive

Please, twice martini—and by twice, we mean the olive. Olives brined in saltwater water experience natural fermentation. The acids that provide these little fruits their distinct flavor are produced by the lactic acid bacteria found naturally in olives. Two live cultures, Lactobacillus Plantarum and Lactobacillus pentosus have been contained in olives, and L. Plantarum demonstrates the exceptional potential for giving you the flat stomach you desire: Research found that this strain, especially in those with critical bowel syndrome, can reduce bloating and check your gut bacteria. Consider that not every variety of olives will have probiotic advantages for you because the majority of store-bought olives are treated with lye, which is bad for probiotics that are sensitive to it. 

Apple Cider Vinegar

Does apple cider vinegar provide reliable probiotics? Apple cider vinegar can help increase probiotic intake in addition to managing blood pressure, lowering cholesterol, improving insulin sensitivity, and even increasing weight reduction. To get the best results, drink a small bit of it every day or use it as a salad filling.

Foods containing probiotics are very healthful

Many healthy probiotic foods are available for you to eat.

This includes a variety of fruits, vegetables, dairy products, and different kinds of soybeans. Nine of them are mentioned here, although there are many more.

If you are unable to or prefer not to eat any of these meals, you can alternatively consume a probiotic supplement. Supplements containing probiotics are available online. Consult a doctor before swallowing any new supplements When included in meals or taken as supplements, probiotics can significantly improve your health. 

Are Probiotics Safe for You?

Typically referred to as "friendly bacteria," probiotics

These living microbes are comparable to the helpful germs that normally invade the living organism and may be found in some meals and medications which are available in a 24x7 pharma shop.

While yogurt and other probiotic products have been around for thousands of years, the industry for commercially manufactured probiotic meals and supplements is expanding quickly.

Probiotic bacteria, or chemicals that encourage the growth or activity of beneficial bacteria, are also present in numerous of these products. Prebiotics and probiotics are both present in so-called symbiotics.

Irritable bowel syndrome, yeast infections, and other health issues are among the many that probiotic and prebiotic product proponents claim they may prevent or treat.

[thran-duils]

Lost In Your Current (P.1)

Title: Lost In Your Current (Part One) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark!Tony Stark. After the snap, the team realizes that certain males were given Alpha status and certain females were assigned as Omegas, all across the galaxy, as a way to control procreation. Only Omega can give birth now. Both are marked and their DNA is tied through their marks. Tony lost Pepper and fell into depression after being rescued by Carol. Even the information that he could have happiness again could not pull him out. Until the loneliness and his new Alpha gene got to be too much. When Steve contacts him that his Omega had been found, Tony cannot resist to collect her. Words: 2,033 Warnings (for the whole fic): Dub-con, a/b/o elements, smut, forced mating

Part Two || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

After he had been brought back from space and found Pepper gone, Tony had been devastated. He isolated himself despite the remaining Avengers efforts. He only let them know he was alive and was reviving himself from being starved and dehydrated in space. When he had received the intel that in the snap, males were given mates, an Alpha and Omega pairing, he had rejected the idea at first, ignoring the small A that had engrained itself on the web of his hand between his forefinger and thumb. But as time waned on, he found himself empty and even admitting that to Rhodes opened up the conversation again about finding his Omega. Rhodes was convinced Tony would find healing in that connection. Thanos had done it to set couples, control procreation. No out of wedlock. There would not be another overpopulation problem. Only Omega were able to breed now. In any corner of the galaxy, it seemed.

Somehow despite his isolation, Tony had gotten word an Omega had been captured and her imprinting mark, an outline on her gland yet to be penetrated, matched his DNA. It was not a surprise to Natasha considering his incessant need for information and adept ability to hack practically any system.

Or maybe it was because Steve had told him. That’s what Tony divulged to her upon his arrival.

“I did not tell you yet for a reason,” Natasha told him.

They were standing in the observation room. Like many Omega after the snap, she had gone into hiding as soon as the information was out, and she had noticed the mark on her neck. People were not keen on being forced into submission and this situation was no different. Quickly, a drug had been developed and distributed. Still, the Omega had stayed in hiding, still fearful they could be detected despite the suppressants.

“Yeah, I’m used to you not telling people things,” Tony told her coldly. “You learned that from Fury well enough.”

Natasha swallowed his insult, knowing he was getting himself riled up just at the sight of her. She needed to be delicate about this. She had planned on telling him and inviting him to the compound but she had wanted to give Y/N time, get her as calm as possible to meet her Alpha. Steve had ruined that. So, she had to just go ahead now that Tony was here, ready to pounce. He had held off for so long, but the loneliness and loss had gotten to him. Or the drive to find himself buried in his Omega had sunk in; hormones were a bitch.

“She’s been on the suppressants. It may take a while for her to feel her heat,” Natasha told him.

“’A while’? How long has she been off them?”

“We’ve had her in here a few days. But a week at least.”

Tony growled and turned away from her. His eyes found Y/N again on the other side of the glass, watching her meander in the room serving as her cell to keep her safe. “She’s so close! A few days at best!”

Tony could already see it, smell it. It did not matter there was a wall separating, she was coming in through the circulation. And she already smelled deserving of his veneration.

Natasha inhaled sharply and took a step towards him. Firmly, she asked, “Do you need to leave, Tony?”

“No!” he spat, shooting her a threatening glare. He was just daring her to try to force him to leave.

As if he would let his prize out of his sight. He had been lost the moment he had laid eyes on her, smelled her sweet scent of sea breeze and jasmine.

Natasha would threaten him in return. She was not afraid of him, unlike most people. She was firm when she told him, “I won’t allow you to mate an Omega without their consent. She won’t realize she’s in heat yet. You need to wait until next cycle. Even if it is your soulmate and you think it’s for the best. And by think, I use it lightly cause I can see your fingers are white with how hard you are trying to hold onto that ledge to keep a grip on control.”

Tony snorted impatiently. Next cycle? Fuck that. He had been stuck in space and been screwed over by Thanos. He lost Pepper. He deserved this. He deserved her, he deserved this new start. He had gotten himself healthy again. And why not for this?

His Alpha was rearing its head; he had his soulmate so close, and he was so convinced he could trip her into heat early.

His eyes were fixated on his mate on the other side of the glass. She was moving around unbeknownst that he could see her, that he was watching her. His cock was tight against his jeans, and he adjusted, shooting a glance at Natasha who did not miss the movement.

He paced more, keeping his eyes set on her. She licked her lips, her hands wringing together as she sat down on the bench at the window she was allowed. She would have so much to look at when she was at his house. He had moved north, bought a large house settled in the mountains. So much space for her to wander, under his direction of course. He could not risk losing her either. But he wanted her happy. Only if happy meant she was with him though. He would not settle for anything less. He would force that mating bond on her if that is what it took to ensure she would warm his bed.

Out of Tony’s sight, Natasha cocked her head towards the door and Carol followed her. They thought Tony did not even notice them leave. Not that that was unexpected considering how zoned in he was.

Outside the room, door closed behind them, Natasha told her, “I’m gonna kill Steve. She needed a week—”

“Steve is just as meat headed as Tony. As little of time I’ve known him, I’ve realized that I’m not shocked he gave him the tip. He has been pretty happy with his mate that he found. I thought someone as virtuous as Captain America would have at least given the situation a second though, but…”

“Hormones are not a joke,” Natasha murmured. She swore and said exasperated, “Tony is not going to leave that fucking room without an armed guard dragging him out.”

Carol shrugged. “Then leave him in there! Let him watch her and keep the eye out he thinks he needs to. As long as he doesn’t break the glass—"

“He’s on edge already, Carol. If he sees anyone enter that room — even IF they’re beta, which is the only people I will send in there now regardless — he could lose it. Send himself into a rut. But she needs testing still and food. She has to interact with our doctors.”

<><><>

Tony had certainly noticed them leave though. And he smirked as soon as the door closed. Idiots.

Waiting for the door to close after Carol and Natasha stepped outside the room, Tony hit his watch.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y…. Hit the ventilation. Knock them out outside the room I am in and hers.”

<><><>

Tony stepped over Natasha and Carol slumped on the ground and then over the guards in the hallway. He held up his watch to the keypad and F.R.I.D.A.Y unlocked the door, giving him access. He shivered physically smelling Y/N full on, her wafting out to him as he pushed the door open. The room was penetrated with her and it was intoxication. The alcohol had done nothing for him since he had returned, no amount of money spent, no amount of women he had taken to his bed. But he actually felt something when he stepped into the room.

She turned away from the window, eyes wide and curious. He made sure to close the door behind him, a barrier to her escaping. He had read in the information he had been given all those months ago that Omega were unruly when they were not claimed yet and the thought made him growl internally. If she tried to run from him… his Alpha was furious at the thought, ready to pin her.

The two of them stared at each other and he could hear her heart beating faster, reacting to him. Natasha was right; she was not ready quite yet but just being in his presence was having an impact. Yes, he could trip her if he got her home, immersed her in his environment. If he was all she could see.

His eyes raked over her and he said, “Well, they certainly don’t know how to dress you all here.”

She looked down at her loose gown and then flicked her gaze back up to his, looking embarrassed. “I’m sorry…”

She was delectable. Submissive. She already wanted to please him, and she had not been properly introduced to him yet. Tony felt his cock hardening. If only he could take her here and now. But he needed to drive her home. He tried to fight the hormones trying to hijack his psyche.

“No, sweet one, don’t apologize. You still look lovely. You’re so fertile….. look at you. Dripping.”

<><><>

You perked up at the compliment. The multiple compliments. You were doing good. Weren’t you? On many levels. Fertile. And wet.

Wait, wait?

He came closer. Still looking entirely in the brink of losing it but he smelled good. He smelled like home.

And that instantly set you on edge, a clear thought cutting through your arousal.

No.

It was him. The Alpha you had been assigned to. And Jesus. It was Tony fucking Stark. Why else would he have this effect on you? Natasha had promised to speak to you and let you decide as you weaned off the suppressants. She had lied and now you were being thrown to the wolves. And no wonder. Tony was her friend. Why would she deny him anything?

You stood quickly and your back hit the wall. You were closing in on yourself, trying to be small. He bristled at your squirrely movement and cocked his head. He immediately placed himself between you and the door to prevent you leaving, holding up his hand. Your heart was hammering.

He was here. He was here to take you away, lock you away.

“You don’t have to be afraid…” Tony said, his voice rolling over you like a high. It was sugary, sweet. “You are safe with me, sweet one.”

Safe. Yes. He would protect you.

You shook your head, closing your eyes tight, trying to shake his influence. Safe meant under his thumb.

Tony was closing the space quickly and you cowered. He was stronger than you and would undoubtedly win a fight.

“Omega…” he said, the title falling from his lips like a song. You froze and he took a few more steps. He shivered, seeing your response. “Be good. You don’t have to be trapped in here anymore. This room is so small, confining. You can come with me… up to our cabin.” Our, the word usage was not lost on you. “There’s a lake. Space to wander. You will have freedom there. With me.”

Half of you was screaming to listen to him, go to him, obey. The other half was screaming at you to try to duck around him and find an escape to make sure you would not fully come off the suppressants and be his puppet, his breeding machine.

Tony was there, inches between you and your chest pulled towards him, wanting him to touch you. He noticed the movement, hunger swimming in his eyes, pupils blown wide.

“That’s it, Omega. Be good.”

A soft whine left your lips, embarrassingly, at the command to be good.

Yet, another thought flashed. This was not right. And your eyes hardened. His jaw clenched at the sight, and you knew you were in trouble. Before you could react, he brought his hand up, and all you felt was cold metal against your neck before you saw black.

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney  @biiskuitx @buttercupfangirl

[whiterosebrian]

Letter To Democrats

I felt the need to do something besides raising awareness of environmental, indigenous, and socio-economic issues. I’ve decided to compose and then mail multiple printed copies of a letter to multiple politicians across the USA. I did wonder if I should copy-and-paste the letter to social media profiles like I did for the one that I wrote to President Biden. Ultimately, I decided that posting the letter would serve two purposes. First, I wanted to let indigenous activists know that they have another willing accomplice. Second, this could provide a decent template for anyone who also feels a need to write to political leaders and put pressure on them to take much-needed action. Without any further ado…

Greetings,

I am writing a generic letter to send to assorted politicians across the United States. For reasons that I will articulate over the course of this letter, I felt a serious need to address as many members of the American political leadership as possible. I do not intend to call you out personally. If you do take it as a personal callout, please consider why you feel that way.

The reports of wildfires, heat waves, and floods have filled many, many observers with existential terror. Some have even expressed utter despair over whether the world will be inhabitable by any form of life. At times I have been tempted to join the despair, to give up hope of ever leaving a beautiful legacy for future generations. For the sake of all the people of the world, I must fight that temptation. I need to do my part to fight for the future.

There are a large number of activists trying to protect the environment. However, they need help from people who have the power to make really concrete changes. That is why I am writing to you and other Democratic politicians. That does sound very partisan, but the sad fact is that the Republican party is almost a lost cause at this point. I wish to be proven wrong about that. The fact is that it already engaged in brutal obstruction during the Obama administration. A sinister side to the base already started emerging during that time as well. With the rise of Donald Trump, the much of its leadership and nearly all of its electoral base have become increasingly unwilling to offer the kind of compromise needed for a functional democracy.

The Democratic party as a whole has been criticized as very weak in opposing the radicalizing Republican Party. The current President has spoken of a desire for restoring national unity. That desire is certainly laudable in itself when Trump blatantly stoked resentment and division. Again, however, the Republican party and its core supporters have shown a complete unwillingness to work with any opponents in any way. They view their opponents as subversive enemies that need to be crushed underfoot. The Republican party has inched towards neo-fascism at a time when neo-fascism is mainstreaming around the world. The Republican party has also already been beholden to the selfish interests of major corporations for decades. It even seeks to magnify the already dire influence of corporations chiefly responsible for pollution. Its propaganda outlets outright deny pollution and mislead millions of people.

Some Democratic politicians have also been criticized as going along with corporate interests and watering down legislation meant to oppose corporate influence. By now it has become clear that corporate elites do not have the safety of the world and its human and nonhuman denizens in mind. By now it has become clear that they must be reined in for the greater good. The only language that major corporations even comprehend is money. Here I arrive at the first main point of this letter: I urge you to work with other Democratic leaders to divest from major corporations and their executives, especially those most directly responsible for polluting the Earth. I’ve also seen proposals that corporations be forced to contribute to removing as much pollution as possible. Quickening the transition away from fossil fuels is crucial.

However, alternate energy sources are not enough. Switching from gas-powered cars to electric cars is not enough. Building solar or wind farms in place of coal-burning power plants is not enough. Extraction and consumption cause their own serious problems. The problem of environmental degradation has roots that are far too deep and complicated to address here, though I will touch upon one later. Going hand-in-hand with corporate influence are the bad social and urban infrastructures that do not encourage sustainable lifestyles. I barely even know where to begin in this regard. Cities are too often built for cars and not people. Most people have to drive carbon-spewing cars to work at jobs that are not well-suited to their needs in order to pay their bills and feed their families. Too many people are left in poverty or near-poverty, some people are more-or-less isolated in suburbs, and a tiny handful are virtually untouchable in their wealth and privilege. Healthy food is not always accessible, and even when it is, it often has to be shipped very far from the source.

My second main point is this: in addition to transitioning to cleaner energy, the very infrastructure of our society needs to reformed. Local communities need to be lifted up so that they can better care for themselves without the need for distant figures constantly having to provide for them through convoluted supply chains. It’s true that right-wingers speak of “small government” with the unspoken agenda of leaving corporate oligarchs and ultra-conservative clergy to rule over ordinary human beings. Nonetheless, I believe that, at this point, government needs to assist in rebuilding communities so that they can eventually leave denizens to stand on their feet and care for each other. The pandemic, along with the poor responses of many local officials, has shown the need for communities to engage in mutual care.

I will confess that this exhortation is the vaguest one in this letter. I lack in-depth education on such matters. I bring it up in order to further nudge you in a direction that would be far better for the Earth and its people. I can offer one example of what must be done that is slightly clearer: helping communities establish gardens and small-scale farms to better feed themselves.

On a very important side note, this nation needs to divest from the military as well. The largest and most powerful military in history is known to be among the largest polluters on earth. Too many politicians seem to ignore how massive the military already is an insist on subsidizing it at the cost of actually building a peaceful and prosperous society.

I further wish to discuss the need to center indigenous peoples in renewing our society. No, I am no indigenous myself. I simply wish to point to their wisdom. Yes, the sagely magical Indian who is one with Mother Earth is a crude stereotype, and I have no intention of reinforcing it. With that said, I follow a number of indigenous writers, activists, spiritualists, and influencers on social media. I learned about how many indigenous people are attempting to reconnect to previously outlawed and hidden heritages. The stereotype could be rooted in reality.

In most cases, those heritages include animistic spiritualities, in which aspects of the natural world, from plants to animals to waters to stones, are seen as having spirits. Furthermore, these aspects of the natural world are seen as relatives to humans. I should note how some well-meaning white people, wishing to bond with the earth instead of submitting to organized religion, appropriate these indigenous spiritualties and associated practices. Indigenous writers will encourage such people to instead delve into their own pre-Christian heritages, which have similar animistic philosophies, however obscured by time they may be. I have actually been doing just that—though I won’t elaborate because I don’t want to center myself.

You may be asking, what is the relevance said common thread of the spiritualities of indigenous peoples? That animism seems to go hand-in-hand with methods of land care that developed over generations of trial and error, along with the principles behind those methods. With the subjugation and expulsion (and worse) of the land’s original caretakers, though, these practices fell into obscurity. The most dramatic example, perhaps, is the suppression of controlled burnings on the western coastline leading to the wildfires that we have seen in recent years. Indeed, the different lands of different indigenous nations need their own subtly distinct approaches, based on ecosystems, geographies, local histories, and general senses of place. Indigenous activists and figureheads are calling upon governments to heed their words on not only conservation but also regeneration.

One of the main demands that indigenous activists make is for the return of their lands, full sovereignty over them, and the facilitation of cultural revival. Yes, that is a very simple manner of justice and righting a historic wrong. It has become evident that their wisdom is a crucial piece of the puzzle of solving environmental problems as well. Simple “colorblind” or “globalized” liberalism won’t suffice when working for social or environmental justice. Indigenous activists argue that colonialism is at the root of so many of our world’s problems. Many of them even outright state that the “colonial state” in itself is a problem. I can see how colonialism has promoted the rise of an all-devouring capitalism and perpetuated it. The grim historical fact of how the enslavement of Black people and the elimination of indigenous peoples contributed to building this nation remains a grim historical fact.

I myself am figuring out the world and learning many truths, but I am sympathetic to people who have borne the brunt of colonialism. I welcome the humanistic achievements of modernity and utterly oppose fundamentalism and fascism, I assure you, but I’ve come to accept that the modern world is broken. Simple progress won’t heal the world. “Big government” certainly has a role to play in mobilizing the needed social changes, such as what I’ve alluded to above, but the “colonial state” needs to ultimately divest its own power.

I’ll try to summarize my points now. Major corporations and economic elites need to be drastically reined in and disempowered (along with the military). The transition to renewable energies needs to be quickened—but also needs to be accompanied by drastic changes to infrastructures and supply chains so as to result in less extraction and consumption. Localized communities need to be empowered so they can better care for themselves without much out faraway aid. Indigenous peoples need to be given their lands back, be elevated to leadership roles in caring for and regenerating said lands, and be empowered so they can rebuild their cultures. Settlers should learn from them as well. In the end, the state and the socio-economic system that it has upheld need to recede—not for billionaires or grand inquisitors or dictators, but for ordinary people and the earth. In truth, humans are meant to be a part of nature, and the generational challenge is for humanity to reconcile with the rest of nature.

This all may sound idealistic or radical. This past summer has shown us that we shouldn’t settle for anything less than radical social change. This nation, which has been a major world power for over a century, needs to be radically reimagined. This all may sound vague as well. I have little education in politics and governance apart from what I’ve tried to learn for myself across the internet. That is all the more reason for people like you—people with more real-world power than I—to push along radical social change. This letter is meant to raise awareness of your duty as a leader. A leader is meant to be a guide, not a dominator. There’s a chance that you could be recorded in history as a leader who did what was necessary to make the world’s healing and renewal possible.

Thank you.

You may call me Brian Solomon Whiterose.

[jaskiersvalley]

Holy shit, I’ve read so much of your work without knowing who you are— on both Tumblr and AO3. Well, I’m very glad I followed a link to your profile because now I can tell you I love your work!! And I’ll finally be able to thank you for it!

You are far too sweet. Usually I tend to stick to a corner of fandom and not venture far so I’m glad you have followed a link to my profile :D There’s some really exciting Big Bang and Reverse Big Bang pieces coming on AO3 soon and I like putting short ficlets on here. And this one is especially for you!

Winters at Kaer Morhen were tough. Lambert was always to one to loudly grumble about how terrible it was. Not just the memories that haunted the long hallways and empty rooms, there were other things that made winters awful. Four witchers were locked together high up in the mountains when they were used to roaming, being solitary and dictating their own schedule. The sudden change was a culture shock and often resulted in growling disagreements for weeks on end. Usually, they re-learned how to coexist and have company again just in time to leave for the year, only to rinse and repeat the pattern. It didn’t get easier as the years went on.

If that had been the only problem, maybe winters wouldn’t have been so bad. Alas, there was more at play. Bitterly cold nights and only marginally less cool days packed with physical labour took their toll. But they needed to work, to chop wood, hunt and collect herbs. An idle witcher was a bored witcher and those were dangerous. Plus, if they were busy then there was no time to argue outside of training which they had to do to keep in shape. The worst though was the pain. Old injuries and aches were made worse by the cold. But there was nowhere else safe to winter. If people saw them at their weakest, when the cold bit through scars and sank its teeth cruelly into long since healed injuries, they wouldn’t trust a witcher ever again. Part of a witcher’s ability to get paid was in the myth that they were untiring, immune to such human things like aches and pains. So it was safer to hide away for the worst of winter, to suffer with those who knew what it was like.

In the hidden corners of Kaer Morhen, no human could see when Lambert’s knee gave way from the time a pegasus kicked him. Or the consequent hip problems he’d developed thanks to the knee healing badly. Eskel would help pick him up from the floor and settle him by the fire without a word. There was no room for sympathy in their world but they could still be compassionate. In turn, Vesemir would cook stews and soft foods on the days Eskel’s jaw seized up and he could barely open his mouth for more than a drink. And Lambert would take Geralt’s wood chopping duties on the days his elbow couldn’t bear the weight of an axe. There was a reason Vesemir stayed at Kaer Morhen almost year round. The older a witcher got, the more injuries they lived with and winters were more difficult. He knew that Geralt and Eskel were starting to feel their years when they arrived back sooner and left later, trying to avoid the trip up and down the mountain when riddled with so many aches and pains.

The letter from Lambert one year was both disappointing and a relief. He wasn’t returning for winter that year, something about having an invitation in the south. That year, winters were much quieter without his constant bitching. Instead, the other three suffered in silence which was almost worse. There was no snapping and snarling, the old keep was plenty big enough that they could avoid each other and nurse their hurts in absolute privacy. It was the loneliest year.

On the Path, it was pure chance that Eskel bumped into Lambert who looked much better than expected. He even managed to smile at Eskel.

“Come with me next winter, I’ll show you something amazing.”

The offer was one that caught Eskel off guard. Never before had Lambert been one to share, hoarding his stash of soothing creams and warm water skeins as if his life depended on it. Such an offer was made ever more curious when a cat witcher sauntered out of the woods, looking rather pleased with himself. He gave Eskel a once over and grinned.

“We’ve got room for you, big guy, bring the rest of your pack too.”

That winter, it was just Eskel and Vesemir at Kaer Morhen. They’d heard from Geralt to say he was going with Lambert and taking Jaskier with him too. The winds howled through Kaer Morhen and Eskel’s teeth chattered even as the scars on his face prickled from being so close to the fire.

In the spring, Geralt was at the bottom of the mountain looking rested and healthy. A bard was by his side looking tanned and spoiled.

“Meet me by the Theodula pass at the end of the year. We’re bringing Vesemir too.”

The year was harsh, new injuries, a badly set shoulder that Eskel had trouble with in the spring meant he was dreading winter. When it came time to decide which direction to turn, Eskel faced the north, he couldn’t risk the chance of Vesemir spending the year alone even if they weren’t much company for each other over the cold months. Dutifully, Eskel headed towards Kaer Morhen. At the bottom of the mountain, a vaguely familiar figure greeted him.

“Lambert and Geralt owe me. You need to head south, Wolf.” It was the cat witcher. “Vesemir is already half way there, Geralt had Jaskier sweet talk him into finally abandoning the old crumbling tomb.”

Without much choice, Eskel turned Scorpion around and Aiden accompanied him. The further south they headed, the warmer the weather got. They passed through Aedirn and Lyria into Sodden and Toussaint. Not that they stopped there which surprised Eskel, Geralt had always daydreamed about the place. Instead they carried on to Geso, Maecht, Etolia before entering Vicovaro. There, Aiden seemed perfectly at home, stripping out of his armour in the sweltering heat. A little more modest, Eskel allowed himself to roll up the sleeves of his shirt. They approached a sprawling mansion and Aiden hopped off his horse.

“Honeys we’re home!” he hollered. Eskel watched as the door opened and Lambert bounded out, seemingly full of energy. Behind him was another man, following with a little more dignity.

“Welcome home,” the man greeted Aiden with a kiss that was easy with well established familiarity. Lambert pulled Aiden in too with zero care for what was considered polite. Ignoring the two, the man turned to Eskel. “Welcome, I’m Cahir. You’re welcome to spend the the season here. From what I heard, Kaer Morhen hasn’t been the best of places to rest after a tough year.”

Understatement of the century, Eskel thought. He didn’t have much choice but to accept the seeming generosity of a stranger. One that Lambert apparently bedded, as did Aiden. And Geralt trusted too at that. From the doorway, Vesemir appeared, looking a little out of place still and Eskel could well and truly appreciate that.

As the weeks passed, it became easier. There was no cold, no worries about needing food and supplies in a hostile environment. Even the aches and pains that plagued them during the winter seemed to be held at bay. It was winter but Eskel could enjoy a crisp apple without his jaw locking, could chew even tougher meats and not freeze with agony of each move. The novelty of it put him in a good mood and, looking around, he could see the others in a similar state.

“From now on,” Cahir said one evening, a glass of wine in hand and Aiden’s feet in his lap, “I want you all to consider this your safe haven. Winter here and stay here all you wish. If you need a place to recuperate, you’ll always be protected here.”

It was a most generous offer, one that Eskel didn’t think could be a serious one. Nobody wanted witchers around, especially not if they weren’t on contract. Yet there was Cahir, seemingly comfortable with not only two witchers in his bed but three others in his home too. As time passed, Eskel learned that maybe he had been a little wrong. It was a serious offer for sure. And Cahir’s bed was big enough not for just two, but three witchers. It was something Cahir, Lambert and Aiden took great joy in proving to Eskel over and over again.

[ukulelecal]

Bloom - Part Two

The story of flowers.

Pairing: Poet!Luke Hemmings x Female!OC

Warnings: a bit more angst but def more fluff. implied smut. a couple swears probably. hella feelings. mentions of anxiety

Word Count: 6.8k

A/N: here is the second part!! less sad than the first!! lol anyways, i hope you guys love it, there will be one more part after this! reminder that feedback and reblogs are sosososo important to creators x 

series masterlist

my masterlist // posted on ao3

*One year later*

Devon’s new school wasn’t all that she had imagined it to be.

Her classes were great. She was learning so much and her professors were very encouraging and helpful. Everything else, however, wasn’t so ideal.

She wasn’t fond of her classmates. Perhaps she was just so used to her old school, but everyone rubbed her the wrong way. She had only found a few friends that she trusted, but she didn’t even see them much. They had attended undergrad at that school, and they already knew everyone. Devon couldn’t quite make her way into the friend group.

She wasn’t a fan of the city, either. It simply didn’t have the vibe or the excitement that home did.

Home. She tried not to use that word to describe where she once lived, but her mind continuously went back to it. She knew exactly why.

That’s where Luke was.

Devon hadn’t heard from him since she moved. She left with a very brief goodbye and good luck wish, but that was it. She held back her tears during the Uber ride to the airport and all through the plane ride.

Luke, now alone in the apartment, broke down as soon as she left. He should have been the one taking her to the airport, kissing her goodbye and promising that everything would be okay. But nothing was okay anymore.

It had been a year since Devon moved, and the now broken up couple was doing a lot better. Devon distracted herself with schoolwork and trying to find her place in her new environment. She took up kickboxing as well as a way to let out her emotions, although the muscles she was developing were a plus as well.

Luke still had the same coping mechanism he always had; writing poetry. He poured his heart and soul into countless poems. They were completely raw, completely honest. He held nothing back. Frankly, they were his best work.

Devon’s first year of grad school officially came to an end. It was as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders. She couldn’t say she was happy there, but she wasn’t there to make friends. She was there to get her master’s, and she wasn’t going to quit. For herself and for her family.

A very unexpected text quickly changed any plans that Devon might have had for the summer.

It was from Luke.

“Hey Devon. I know it’s been a while and I hope grad school is going well. But it's official. My first poetry book is getting published. You probably don’t want to hear from me, and I understand, but you were always the person that believed in me the most. Thank you for that. Truly. I wouldn’t be here without you. I’m having a release party in a few weeks. Nothing big, just close friends and family. It would mean a lot to me if you came.”

Her heart skipped a beat as soon as she saw his name flash across her screen. Not a single word had been exchanged between them in the past year. A part of Devon had been wishing that he would reach out, even if it was just to say hi and check in. She almost texted him a few times, but something always stopped her.

Hearing from him after so long brought an array of emotions, but the one that overwhelmed her the most was pride.

Devon knew how much this meant to him. He opened up to her about it on their very first date freshman year. She remembered sitting across from him at the coffee shop on campus, and the way his eyes lit up as he talked about releasing a book. She found his passion admirable, and she had every faith in him that he would succeed. She was his biggest supporter through the years; she was there to comfort him when he got rejected and help him through his bouts of writer’s block. He always told her that she was his biggest inspiration. Most of his poems ended up being about her in some capacity.

Despite everything that happened between, Devon couldn’t fathom missing this momentous time in his life.

With a deep breath, she typed out a reply.

“I would love to come. It means a lot that you thought of me.”

The weeks leading up to the party were utterly nerve wracking, for both Devon and Luke.

It took Luke a few days to work up the courage to invite Devon. He was scared she hated him and wouldn’t care to come, that she would be appalled at him thinking even for a second that she might want to see him again. It took a lot of convincing from Ashton, a college friend that he invited to move into the apartment once Luke realized he couldn’t afford the rent on his own and that he couldn’t stand being in the apartment by himself, but he did it. Luke wasn’t sure he breathed at all in the minutes it took her to respond.

Now that she was officially attending, it left the two to question what seeing each other would be like after a year apart. Would it be awkward? Would they end up having another argument and cause more pain? Would they be unrecognizable to each other?

The uncertainty was painstaking, but Devon reminded herself that she was there to support Luke, and Luke reminded himself that he would have given up a long time ago if it weren’t for Devon.

The time finally came for the release party. They both hardly slept the night before. Luke was alone in the bed that he used to share with the woman he hadn’t seen in a year, while she laid in a hotel bed just blocks away. Things felt different knowing that they weren’t hundreds of miles away anymore, and the next day they would see each other.

Devon pandered around her hotel room all day, doing her best to distract herself. She scrolled through every channel on the television, but nothing kept her attention. She did a workout, but every song on her workout playlist managed to remind her of Luke in some way.

They day dragged on until it was finally time for Devon to get ready. She played calming music in the shower to slow her heart rate and took her time doing her hair and makeup. It took some effort to steady her hands, but she got the job done.

Luke had been able to keep himself busy all day. A couple of his friends, Calum and Michael, shared a flat that was decently bigger than Luke’s apartment, and graciously offered to host the party there. Him and Ashton went over there early to make sure the place was clean and that all the food and drinks were ready.

Once guests started arriving, the nerves came back in full force.

He could only hope that he was really ready to see Devon.

For her, the Uber ride to the address Luke gave her hit every single red light. She bounced her leg in the back seat, unsure if she was thankful for the longer ride or if she hated it. On one hand, it gave her more time to prepare herself. However, every passing second made her nervousness increase.

Time stopped when the car parked in front of the flat.

She stared at it for a moment, the fact that Luke was just inside making her fingers tremble.

She didn’t realize she was still sitting there until the driver asked her if she was okay. She quickly thanked him and climbed out of the car.

Devon slowly made her way up the walkway, reminding herself with each step that this was a huge deal for Luke. His dreams were finally coming true. He had expressed to her that he credited her in part for his success. He must not have harbored any major negative feelings against her, otherwise she wouldn’t have been invited.

She almost felt a sense of calm as she reached the front door.

She slowly pushed it open, Luke having told her it would be unlocked and she could let herself in. Once inside, she didn’t see him right away. She recognized some friends from her undergraduate days, but nobody seemed to notice her right away.

A tall figure came out from the kitchen, and Devon had to do a double take.

Luke had certainly grown in their year apart.

His curls were shorter in the back and longer on top, and it looked like they had been dyed at some point. He opted for a pair of glasses instead of contacts, and he had a beard. She had never seen him with more than some stubble. He had on a forest green sweater that she always said was her favorite; she wondered if he had worn it on purpose. She couldn’t blame him if he did, considering she was wearing the long sleeved, yellow floral dress that Luke always said he loved on her.

He looked completely different, but at the same time, he was still her Luke.

All of her anxieties melted away the second he looked at her.

“Devon.”

It felt so natural. It was as if all of the pain that came from the last time they saw each other had gone away. They both knew in the back of their minds there wasn’t any bad blood between them, as much as their breakup hurt. Neither had exactly done anything wrong.

“You made it,” he continued through a deep breath.

“You know I wouldn’t miss this for the world, Lu.”

Devon looked the same. Her hair was a little longer than the last time he saw her, and he could tell that she had put on some muscle from the way she filled out her dress a little more. She looked good, healthy.

Luke silently thanked whoever was listening that she seemed alright, at least physically. He could acknowledge that he went into a bit of a downward spiral in terms of taking care of himself when she left. He hardly slept and completely shut himself out from everyone that reached out to him. Ashton moving in helped, but certain days made it bad again, like when their anniversary and Devon’s birthday passed. He didn’t want the same for her. He wanted her to do better than him.

Devon had her bad days too. She did better at the beginning when she had so much on her plate, but once things settled down, she was a wreck for a while, not much different than what Luke was like.

He hesitated only a moment before taking Devon into his arms. He prepared himself for her to pull away, but she did quite the opposite. She melted into him, cheek resting against the soft material of his sweater.

Devon remembered all the times she needed a hug. Whenever she had a bad day or was stressed out over school or simply just wanted to be held, Luke was always there. He would mumble a soft assurance under his breath as he took her into his arms, holding her tight as if she’d be gone forever if he let go. He would whisper whatever it was she needed to hear at the moment, although sometimes it was nothing at all.

She didn’t realize how badly she needed this one.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Dev,” Luke whispered into her hair. He could smell the same coconut shampoo she always used and the warm, sweet perfume she always wore. It brought a sense of comfort and familiarity.

“I’m glad to be here. I...I really missed you, Luke.”

The confession felt good. She tried to deny the fact that she missed him, but seeing him again, she realized how much she really had.

“I missed you too.”

Luke pulled away from the hug and kept his hands on Devon’s shoulders. The same blue eyes met the same brown ones. The ghosts of smiles tugged at their corners of their lips. Every worry they had about seeing each other had gone away.

“I want to say congratulations on your book,” Devon mumbled, fiddling with the small clutch she brought. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” he responded, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks. “I have to say, I-”

His sentence got caught off by a shout of his name from an arriving guest. He sighed and sent Devon an apologetic look. There was a lot that needed to be said, so much that needed to be talked about, but they knew that this wasn’t the time or place to do so.

“It’s fine, go on. We’ll catch up later, bub-” she cut herself off, the pet name she called him so often about to slip from her lips so naturally. “Okay?”

Luke sighed sadly but gave her a smile. He understood why she stopped herself, but God, he would have loved to hear her call him that again.

“Okay. See you in a bit, Dev.”

Luke slowly walked away to greet the new arrivals while Devon wandered off to find people she knew. She came across her good friends from undergrad - mutual between her and Luke - who thankfully seemed excited to see her. They made small talk and asked about grad school before easing into questions about Luke. She should have expected it, but she hadn’t talked much about the breakup since it first happened. It was easy to simply not mention it to her grad school group and they wouldn’t know the difference, but these were the girls that she called sobbing at random times during the day when she needed to talk. It was natural that they were curious.

“Did you two talk at all while you were gone?” One asked, and Devon shook her head.

“No,” she sighed. “I think that was best, though.”

Devon’s eyes trailed to the right. Luke was talking to some family members, laughing. A small grin tugged at the corners of her lips. His laugh was musical and contagious. She always felt proud of herself when she made him laugh. Not that it was a difficult task; he loved to laugh. For Devon, getting to hear the noise was like a gift.

“Dev!”

She snapped her gaze back to her friends. Their expressions were a mixture of smug and concerned. It was obvious that Devon hadn’t gotten over Luke in the past year. She still looked at him the same way she always did. They were still concerned that she would get her heart broken again.

“You still love him, don’t you?”

Devon glanced over at him one more time. She tried to convince herself that she didn’t. She almost threw away her shoebox of poems just to prove it to herself, but she couldn’t do it. It would always be him.

“Of course I do.”

…

The rest of the night, Luke and Devon didn’t speak. They weren’t avoiding each other, but the weight of the conversation they needed to have required the crowd to go away and the festivities to die down before it could happen. They exchanged glances and small smiles, saving the talking for later.

Devon purposely hung back as the crowd startled to trickle out the door. Luke had made a small speech thanking everyone for coming and celebrating with him. Everyone took it as the hint that the party was over. Deciding to help out while she waited, Devon busied herself cleaning up a bit in the kitchen.

Footsteps caught her attention, but they didn’t belong to who she figured they did. Instead of seeing Luke, she saw Ashton. He was Luke’s best friend, and while him and Devon never got super close, she still considered him a friend.

“Hey, Dev,” Ashton greeted with a grin, opening his arms for a hug that she gladly accepted.

“Hi, Ash. How have you been?”

“Good. Just working,” he chuckled as he pulled away from the hug. “You? How’s grad school?”

“It’s pretty good.” Good if he asked about her academics and not her social life, that is.

“That’s good.”

Ashton leaned against the counter across from her, shooting her a look. She raised her eyebrows in expectation.

“Luke’s been freaking out, you know,” Ashton mumbled, sticking his hands in his pockets. “About seeing you.”

Devon sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Somehow, knowing that he was nervous too was comforting.

“Glad it wasn’t just me.”

“He really missed you. I’m sure he’ll tell you all this himself, but in case you don’t believe him, take it from me. He missed you so, so much.”

Devon couldn’t help but smile a little. It was good to hear it from someone else.

“I missed him too. A lot.”

Before Ashton could reply, Luke stepped into the kitchen, eyes flickering back and forth between his best friend and his ex girlfriend. Words got caught in Devon and Luke’s throats, neither of them sure what to say.

“I guess that’s my cue to get out,” Ashton joked, breaking the awkward silence. “Let me know when you’re ready to go home, Luke.”

The man walked out of the kitchen to help Calum and Michael clean up in the living room while Devon turned to look at Luke with furrowed eyebrows.

“Home?” She questioned.

“Ashton moved into the apartment a little while after you left,” Luke admitted, scratching the back of his neck. He took Ashton’s spot against the counter. “I needed a roommate to help with the rent.”

He left out the fact that being alone in there only reminded him that she was gone and he needed someone to keep him company.

Devon nodded in understanding, but felt another twinge of guilt. She hadn’t considered that she was leaving the financial burden onto him. Thankfully Ashton was there.

“How was your night?” Devon asked genuinely. The party was to celebrate his success, and she genuinely hoped he enjoyed it.

“It was really great.” Luke sent her a thankful grin. “I know I said it before, but it really means a lot to me that you’re here. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to come.”

“This is everything you’ve ever wanted. After everything we’ve been through, I would never miss this moment in your life.”

Devon sent him a sad smile that he returned. There was still so much that needed to be said, so much to discuss. A tension hung between them, but not one of anxiety or dread. It was desperation and desire. A yearning for what they once had.

“We need to talk, Dev,” Luke whispered what they were both thinking. “Like, really talk.”

“I know we do.” She glanced at the clock on the wall beside his head. “But it’s getting late. My flight back isn’t until Monday. Maybe we can meet up tomorrow, if you’re free? Get lunch?”

Luke nodded in agreement. It would be best if they both got some sleep and recharged before talking seriously.

“That sounds good.” Luke turned to look at the clock as well and laughed. “I know it’s past your bedtime.”

Devon rolled her eyes playfully. She was the “go to bed early, wake up early” type, while Luke was the opposite.

“Exactly. I need my beauty sleep.”

“Boy, do I know it.”

The two laughed together, for the first time in a long time. It felt so right.

“I should head back then,” Devon announced, reaching behind to grab her clutch that she had set on the counter. “Let me just call an Uber and I’ll be out of here.”

“Don’t worry about that. Ash and I came together, he’ll drive you back. Where are you staying?”

Not one to turn down a free ride, Devon rattled off the name of her hotel. Luke led her to the living room to get Ashton and say goodbye to Calum and Michael. Luke thanked them again for letting him have the party at their place before they were out the door and piled in Ashton’s car. Luke took shotgun while Devon slipped into the back.

The ride to the hotel was quiet. Only Ashton’s soft indie music and the sound of other cars filled the car. Shortly, Ashton pulled to a stop in front of Devon’s hotel. Luke turned around in his seat to face her.

“Thanks again for coming, Dev,” he mumbled softly, a grin on his face.

“Thanks for inviting me. And thanks for the ride, Ashton.” He nodded in acknowledgement before she turned her gaze back to Luke. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Tomorrow. Who knows what tomorrow would bring?

“See you tomorrow.”

Devon climbed out of the car and headed towards the doors, sparing one last glance and a wave before heading inside. Luke watched as she walked in, a small sigh escaping his lips. He turned his head to see Ashton with a smirk on his face.

“What?” Luke questioned.

“You still love her, don’t you, mate?”

Luke sighed again, glancing back towards the doors. Devon was already out of sight, probably in the elevator already. He knew exactly what she was going to do when she got to her room. She would kick off her shoes and then take her makeup off. She’d go through her night time skin care routine, put her hair in a bun with a silk scrunchie, and finally change into her pajamas, which were usually just a big t-shirt and panties. She would probably spend some time reading or watching cooking videos on TikTok before going to bed.

“Of course I do.”

…

Devon swiped one last bit of lip gloss across her lips when Luke texted her that he was outside. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed her purse and phone before heading downstairs to meet him.

The anxiety was coming back. Seeing Luke was one thing, but having a full on conversation was another. It didn’t help that the conversation would surely lead to the topic of their relationship. Their breakup.

Luke was feeling similarly. He had paced around the apartment all morning until Ashton gave him a pep talk. He reminded him that if they didn’t talk, Devon would just leave again and nothing would change. Nothing would get fixed.

The sound of a creaky car door opening snapped Luke from his thoughts, looking up to see Devon climbing in. He sent her a smile.

“Hey, Dev.”

“Hey, Luke. Bertha’s still kicking, I see?” Devon joked as she buckled her seatbelt. She knew that Luke wasn’t going to get rid of his beloved Prius until absolutely necessary, but the fact that the car still functioned at all was shocking.

“I think it might be her time soon, but for now, she gets me where I need to go.”

Bertha survived the drive to the small diner that Devon and Luke agreed on, albeit the radio cut out a few times. It was a new place and Luke had been wanting to try it. A part of Devon wondered if he really wanted to try it or if he just didn’t want to take her to one of the places that they frequented when they were together. Frankly, she wouldn’t have wanted to go to one of their old spots either. It would have felt too odd.

Once inside and seated, a waitress came to take coffee orders before scurrying away.

“Tell me about grad school,” Luke began, saving the more serious topics of conversation for later. It was best to start off casual and simply catch up on everything that had happened in the past year.

“It’s alright,” Devon sighed. She would have fibbed, but she felt no need to lie to Luke. “My classes are great. I’ve learned so much and my professors are awesome. It’s just…”

She trailed off, unsure how to put her thoughts into words without sounding pathetic. She didn’t want Luke to judge her.

“What?” He pressed gently, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“It’s the other students, I guess. Everyone at our school was so great, but the people there are just not so friendly. And most of the other grad students did undergrad there, so I couldn’t really fit my way into a friend group. And there’s just not as much to do in the city as there is here,” she explained, her hands occupying themselves with the napkin in her lap.

She locked eyes with Luke, waiting for his response. He could have used it against her. He could have guilt tripped her for leaving and then not being happy. But Luke would never do that and Devon knew it.

“Well that’s not good,” he mumbled sincerely. “I’m sorry, Dev.”

He truly did feel bad. Every day while Devon was gone, he thought about her. He hoped she was having a good day and that her education was going well. It pained him to think that she wasn’t having a great time.

“It’s okay. I mean, I’m there for my master’s, not to make friends.” The waitress came back with their drinks and took their lunch orders. “Anyways, tell me about your book! What happened with the publishers and everything?”

The fact that Devon’s grad school wasn’t everything that she had imagined was still bothering him but Luke went along, knowing she wouldn’t want to talk about it.

“I sent another draft to one of the ones that was interested before, a while after you left. He said he liked the majority of it but wanted a few different ones. It took me a while to figure out what he wanted, but eventually I got it,” he rambled. “I’m really happy with it.”

“I’m glad,” she replied, heart swelling with pride. “When does it come out?”

“Next week.”

Devon hummed in acknowledgement, already making a mental note to pick up a copy for herself.

“How about work?” She questioned after a sip of her cappuccino.

“You’ll never believe it,” Luke chuckled. “I got promoted to a manager position.”

“Really? It’s about time!”

Devon and Luke had a running joke about Luke’s job. He had been there the longest other than the owner, an old woman who still moved like a teenager. She always hung a promotion over his head, suggesting it but never following through. Luke knew she was planning on giving it to him eventually. It was just a matter of time until she actually did, and the two would always make jokes about it.

They made small talk until their food came, causing the duo to fall into silence. Meaningless conversation about the weather could only last so long until what really needed to be talked about came out.

Soup and sandwiches didn’t last long enough. Their plates were cleared and there was no point in stalling anymore.

“I think we fucked up.”

Luke’s statement was unsugarcoated. He couldn't say for sure how Devon felt, but every day throughout the past year, Luke felt like he was making a mistake. Everyone around them was shocked at the news of their breakup; if there were any college sweethearts that would actually last, it would be them. That certainly didn’t help Luke’s pain when everyone else knew it was a mistake too.

Devon felt tears burn the back of her eyes as she nodded softly. He was right. Perhaps it was best at the time, but they couldn’t do another year of being apart.

“I think we did.”

Her voice broke, taking a deep breath to calm herself down and not cry in the restaurant.

“Hey,” Luke cooed soothingly, noticing the tears and reaching across the table for her hand. As his hand encased hers, at that moment, everything felt like it was going to be okay. “Maybe we should go somewhere more private.”

Luke paid the check and made their way back to Bertha. The need for privacy left them with two options; Devon’s hotel room or the apartment.

“Maybe we could go to my hotel room,” Devon suggested. “That way we won’t bother Ashton.”

That was only part of the reason. Devon wasn’t sure how she would feel if she stepped into her old home in the current state of their relationship. All of the memories her and Luke had would come flooding back. The hotel room was a neutral place without connection to what once was.

Luke agreed and drove to the location he remembered from the night before. The elevator ride up to Devon’s room was heavily silent, hands brushing against each other but never interlocking. The sound of the door shutting behind them once in the room was thunderous, the sound signifying that there was absolutely nothing between them and the inevitable anymore.

They stood in the middle of the room for a moment, looking anywhere but each other. There was no good way to start the conversation. There was no easy way to talk about a painful breakup that led to a year apart, then being reunited.

Without the right words in mind, Devon threw herself at Luke. She wrapped her arms tight around his middle and buried her head into his chest. Luke returned the gesture, holding her as close as he could. The hug said more than what either of them could put into words.

It wasn’t until a few minutes that Devon finally found something to say.

“I can’t keep doing this, Lu,” she whispered shakily. “I can’t keep missing you like this.”

“This is all my fault, Dev. I was the one who didn’t think we could do it. Fuck, honey, I’m so sorry.”

Devon surely didn’t think it was his fault. He had every right to be upset that she was moving so far away, and he had every right to be scared of what the distance would do to their relationship. She felt the same way. They broke up to spare themselves the pain of long distance. It hadn’t taken long for them to realize that the pain of being broken up was much, much worse.

As much as she tried to push the thoughts away, Devon couldn’t help thinking about how if she hadn’t left, this wouldn’t have happened. She knew that she did nothing wrong and that her education was just as important, but she had never intended to pursue it in expense of her relationship.

“This isn’t your fault. It was both of us. We were just saving ourselves from the pain. Besides, I was the one that left-”

“No,” Luke cut her off, glancing down at her. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. You did absolutely nothing wrong.”

Devon lifted her head up to meet his gaze. His face was serious but his eyes were completely sincere. She had always feared that he would hold a grudge against her for leaving. One look into the gorgeous blue eyes that she fell in love with told her that he didn’t.

“I never want you to blame this on you going to grad school. I want you to know that I completely support your decision and all your aspirations, honey. I will never hold that against you.”

Tears brimmed Devon’s eyes again, but these weren’t tears of pain. They were of love and adoration. Luke was the most amazing man she had ever known. He had a heart of gold and was one hell of a poet. She had never felt so loved as she felt by him.

“Please tell me this isn’t over, Luke,” she whispered, hands moving to cup his bearded cheeks. A single tear slipped down the soft skin of Devon’s cheek. “I love you. I never stopped. Please tell me there can be an us again.”

Luke wasn’t sure when he started crying, but a sudden wetness on his cheek alerted him of the act. His hands tugged Devon’s waist to bring her closer, noses brushing touching and breath mingling. They could hardly remember the last time they had been that close, the last time they felt love so intensely.

“I’ve wanted us back since that day a year ago. I love you more than anything, Devon. Always have, always will.”

For the first time in over a year, Luke and Devon’s lips connected in a kiss. It was nothing short of passionate and heavy. The love they hadn’t been able to express for so long was rising to the surface, coming out in the form of mumbled words, bruising kisses and desperate touches.

Frantic fingers worked the buttons of Devon’s flannel, slowly pushing her backwards until the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed. The offending item was discarded to the floor and the newly reunited couple crawled onto the bed. Devon shivered under Luke, a reaction caused by a mixture of the cool sheets against her bare back and his lips on her neck, his beard providing a new sensation that she hadn’t felt before.

The past year was difficult. If they could go back in time and fix it, they would jump on the opportunity without a second thought. But just maybe, it made them stronger. Maybe they needed to begin to wilt in order for them to bloom.

…

“What do we do now?”

Devon curled closer to Luke as a crisp breeze cut through the darkening evening. He sighed and wrapped the blanket tighter around them.

“I’m not sure.”

The couple sat in the trunk of Luke’s car with the door popped open, parked at a lookout point that overlooked the city. It was something they used to do all the time in college. It was comforting to return to their old traditions, knowing that they had fixed what they broke.

It was Sunday evening, the day before Devon flew back to her grad school city. They may have gotten back together, but they were still faced with the same problem as when they broke up. Devon still had a whole year of grad school left, miles away.

“I’m not sure I want to go back,” Devon admitted, eyes fixed on the city lights. Luke snapped his head to look at her, eyebrows furrowed.

“What do you mean? Are you saying you don’t want to finish your degree?”

Luke would never forgive himself if she gave up her master’s degree because of him. He didn’t want the distance either, but he could never hold her back from her dreams.

“No, no, I want to finish. I just...I wasn’t happy in that city. This is my home. I’m happy here,” she explained. She tore her eyes away from the view in favor of looking at her boyfriend. “With you.”

Luke dipped his head down, pressing a kiss to her temple. Devon leaned into the affection that she had missed so much.

“It’s up to you, honey. I don’t want to hold you back. Just know that if you do stay there, I’m going to really try this time. I promise we’ll make it work, and I’ll be here for you no matter what.”

Devon grinned at his words. She didn’t realize how much she needed to hear that; that the past wouldn’t repeat itself. However, she didn’t want to put either of them through the suffering of a long distance relationship when she didn’t even want to be away.

“I appreciate that, bubs. But I just can’t do that to us after everything we’ve been through.” She thought for a moment, trying to decipher the best course of action. “Maybe I could finish online.”

Luke nodded in acknowledgement; it was a good compromise. Devon got to finish her degree at the school with the best program, and she didn’t have to be so far away. It benefitted Luke as well, not just her. However, he didn’t want to sway her either way.

“If that’s what you want, honey. This is your decision.”

He gave her shoulders a squeeze as she thought it over. The only sounds to be heard were the gentle hum of the city below them and the cold breeze that ruffled the trees. It was so familiar. They had spent countless nights like this, simply enjoying each other’s company and rewinding from hectic college life. Luke had to remind himself that they weren’t undergraduate students anymore; Devon was in grad school and he was a published poet.

It was baffling how everything felt like it had gone back to the way it was, yet things were actually so very different.

“That’s what I want,” Devon announced with confidence after a few moments of pondering. “I want to stay here.”

Matching lovesick grins spread across their faces as they locked eyes. She scooted closer to Luke, if that was even possible, nudging her nose against his.

“You’re sure?” He verified, eyes fluttering closed.

“So very sure.”

He chuckled lowly before closing the gap. The air between them was finally clear. Their relationship was fixed and they would still be together. No more pain and suffering.

Devon rested her head on Luke’s shoulder when the kiss broke, breathing out a content sigh. They enjoyed the silence for a moment before Devon piped up with a question.

“Can I move back into the apartment?”

“Of course you can,” Luke chuckled. “That’s our place. Why couldn’t you?”

“What about Ashton?”

“He understands our situation, babe. He saw this coming. He already asked Calum and Michael if he could take the extra bedroom at their flat if it came to this, and they agreed. As long as you’re fine with living with him for a little while until he moves out, then he’s fine with it too.”

Devon let out a breathy laugh, nodding in understanding.

“I mean, I’ll still have to go back to my apartment out there for a bit to get my stuff.” She looked up at Luke with a hopeful glint in her eye. “Do you think you could come with and help? It’s alright if you can’t.”

“I can come, honey. I’ll see if I can fly out with you tomorrow, but if not I can come a couple days later, so you don’t have to change yours.” A smirk spread across his face before continuing. “Or we could just wait to go together and stay here for another few days. You know, catch up a little more.”

Devon laughed and playfully rolled her eyes, nudging his shoulder.

“What a way with words you have, Hemmings. No wonder you’re a poet.”

“Speaking of poetry, I have something for you.”

Luke pressed a swift kiss to Devon’s cheek before hopping out of the trunk. He opened the door to the back seat and rifled around for a moment, then returning to face Devon. He removed his hand from behind his back, holding it out to her.

“For you.”

Devon took the item from his hand curiously. It only took a moment for her to realize what it was.

It was a book titled The Life of a Flower. The cover was a stunning photo of two orchids side by side, and Luke’s name was printed across the bottom.

His first poetry book.

“You’re the first person to get a copy,” he mumbled sheepishly, breaking Devon from her trance of staring at it. She couldn’t help the tears of pride that welled in her eyes. If seeing the actual, physical book in person was such an emotional moment for her, she couldn’t even imagine how Luke must have felt when he saw it for the first time.

“This is incredible, Luke,” she whispered, smiling despite her tears. “I’m so proud of you, bubs, so fucking proud.”

Devon dropped the blanket from her shoulders and hopped down from the trunk. Her arms found their way around his neck while his found her waist. Pride was an understatement. She had been there every step of the way, and seeing his dreams finally come to life was a wonderful sight to see.

“Thank you, Devon,” Luke whispered into her hair. “For being my biggest supporter. I wouldn’t be here without you.”

“It’s not me, Lu,” she mumbled in response, tilting her head up to look at him. “You have a gift. Your writing got you here, not me.”

“I would have given up on writing a long time ago if I didn’t have you. You give me an endless amount of inspiration that I never had before. A poet’s words are meaningless if his muse isn’t worth writing about.”

“Damn. William Shakespeare has nothing on you,” she joked although she was absolutely melting on the inside. Luke groaned playfully.

“You always ruin the moment. Anyway, look at the first pages.”

Devon removed her arms from his neck to flip through, skipping past the title page, copyright and table of contents until she found what he was talking about. She found a dedications page that only made her tear up again, reading:

“For Devon. You’ll always be my orchid.”

[annaraebananawriter]

Hands

First off...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SQUID!!! 

I honestly had no idea it was his birthday until last night from twitter. I was in the middle of writing this scene, in fact, and realized ‘Hey, you know what? I could probably get this done in time for it!’. Now here we are.

Secondly...This is a scene from one of my WIP’s. It will probably take place somewhere in the middle chapters, but I saw that it was a fairly out of context scene to show that it wouldn’t really matter if I showed it now as a teaser or later. 

Obviously, I chose the latter.

That said, this is set to change a bit as the WIP develops, but it’ll be nice to see what you all think of it. Hope you enjoy!

Fandom: Undertale, but specifically UTMV

Pairings: Implied Errorink, or Pre-Errorink

Characters: Error (Who belongs to CQ) and Ink (Who belongs to Comyet)

Warnings: Nothing really. Although, again, it is a scene from a wip, which means that it is not in it’s final form. Let me know!

Word Count: 2488

~oOo~

His phone buzzed on the floor beside him. Ink paused in the middle of trying to balance a pencil on his finger, which was probably a losing battle, but since when has that ever stopped him before? That’s right, never. And it never would. Setting the pencil aside, he checked his phone and read the short message.

mommy-bear

Are you coming home for supper? It’s past 5.

Ink jumped, looking outside to see that, indeed, the sun was lower in the sky and time had in fact passed. They must’ve gotten lost in the throughs of their homework, or the casual avoidance of it, for one of them. Error seems to have made some sort of headway into the work from Mx. Alex. Good for him. He’ll be able to hand it in on Monday without it bugging him in the back of his mind while he ignores that bugging and just doddles instead of doing his work like he should until the next thing he knows it’s almost midnight on Sunday and he still hasn’t gotten it done.

But honestly, who would do that? Certainty not Ink.

Error had also noticed his jump and was looking at him now. “What is it?”

“Just a text from my mom.” He answered, gathering up his things. A glance to his study buddy showed Error blinking and setting down his pencil as well in order to listen. “She was just wondering where I was. It’s after five, y’know? I said I’d be back then.”

“Oh.” Error fell silent after that.

Once his things were all accounted for (he did lose his eraser for a minute there and partially freaked out about it, which was kind of silly as he had plenty more than just this one white one, others that were far more colourful, but he didn’t have to worry for long—Error had silently placed it on the bed for him to grab, making Ink smile in gratitude), Ink walked to the bedroom door and got to the top of the stairs before he realized another pair of footsteps were following him.

Man, Error really needed to take him up on the suggestion of bells. He was too silent on his feet, just too much like a ghost for his liking. Not that he didn’t like ghosts. He just didn’t like people being silent when their walking. It made him paranoid.

Ink turned around. “You know I can just walk myself back, right? I literally live right next door.” He held up one finger. “That’s the house right beside yours.”

Error scowled, just like he always did when Ink pointed things out like that. It was also a reason why he was determined to point things like that out as often as he did, which was rather often. “Don’t be stupid. Of course I know that.”

“Then why are you following me?”

“What if I wasn’t? What if I just decided to get some food? To do that, I’d need to go to the kitchen, which is also downstairs.” He gestured to the passageway to said downstairs. “Those are the only stairs to get there.”

Ink smirked, “You have a box on the top shelf of your closet where you keep all the chocolate you bought, stole, or stole from Fell.” This statement was rewarded with a light blush of embarrassment from Error, who looked around as if to make sure his brothers didn’t overhear.

Ink was sure that they already knew though.

He also suspected that they put chocolate in the box too, as Error was sometimes surprised that there was some there when he had said he had eaten it all.

“I didn’t even say I was getting chocolate! I might be getting something else.”

“You don’t snack on anything but chocolate.” Error’s scowl deepened. “You also sort of admitted to following me” He couldn’t help but laugh when the blush on Error’s skull deepened in realization and his taller friend looked away from him. It was always interesting to see just how much it took to get to this shade of blue, with the yellow freckle-like dots just barely seen overtop. The sight made Ink want to draw it.

He wanted to draw it so badly.

Laughter dying down, Ink tilted his head and smiled at Error. “If you wanted to walk with me, you could’ve just asked.”

For some reason, Error glanced back at him and quickly looked away again, blush deepening again, the yellow becoming brighter. He also started to glitch a little bit, which would normally spark a tiny bit of worry, but he could see that the other wasn’t in any danger, so he had no reason to worry. If the glitches got worse, then he could worry.

That was…pretty much the saying for being friends with him.

‘If the glitches got worse, then you could worry.’

Error burrowed down, like he usually would if he had his scarf on. It was, presumably, back in his room. Weird. The glitch he knew never went anywhere without his scarf; at school, at home, at the café, at the park, walking, sitting, it was always on. Well, it probably came off at home. Here he was with his family, a safe, happy environment away from the judging eyes of school and the city. He could be himself here. That’s an assumption, at least, hopefully the right one. Ink didn’t know the relationship between skeleton and scarf and never asked, never would talk about it until, or if, Error brought it up. He wanted to respect his privacy, after all.

But now that he thought about it, the scarf had been coming off around him lately. It had started off small. It started with it being up to his mouth, almost as if a way to hide or be smaller than he was. That was how it was for a while. Then one morning, it was down just a bit, just under his mouth. And as the days passed and the two talked more and became friends, the scarf would be lower and lower. Down to the chin in Math. Under the chin the next day. Around his neck a week later in English class.

It was almost like earning his trust. He had earned Error’s trust, which meant that he got to see the skeleton behind the scarf. The true, unshielded one.

It was…kind of nice, to be honest.

Ink blinked, coming back to himself and realizing that Error had mumbled something.

“Sorry, what?”

Error looked back at him and sighed a little before speaking up just enough so that Ink could hear. “I said, can I…walk with you?” His arms went in front of him. Ink guessed that it was a temporary shield in place of the scarf.

He was prepared to be rejected and just walk back to his room.

Well, Ink couldn’t have that, now could he?

“Of course!” The smile on his face widened and he started down the stairs with lighter steps. It was always nice when friends offered to walk you home or something of the sort. The walk was less lonely, even if you never spoke a word.

It’s just how it was.

They talked in the small time it took to get from Error’s house to Ink’s. Well, that wasn’t really true. Ink did most of the talking, which ended up being mostly complaints about homework and school and also talk about his works in progresses. Error just listened quietly, humming or nodding in certain spots. He would like to think that Ink could talk about nothing at all and Error would listen. It just seemed to be the way he was.

Their friendship was a good one. Maybe there were a few unbalances here and there, but overall, it was good and healthy and, most importantly, mutual. It benefited both of them in different ways. Ink had someone who would listen without interrupting, who cared about his interest and how he felt, even though he didn’t have a soul and relied on substitutes. Error had someone who didn’t pressure him into a conversation, who gave him and respected his personal space and asked before touching his things and body. It was like a missing piece just fell into place, so perfect, it felt like it hadn’t been missing at all.

That said, there were some hurdles.

Like how Ink was soulless. There was always that thought, loud or quiet, one that questioned whether the love he felt towards his friends and family was real. Or if he was just deluding himself and everyone around him into thinking that they were. This thought had always been there, since before Dream and Blue, before Error, before anyone he was with now—what if it was all fake?

It was kind of silly. The substitutes he took acted as a soul. It supplied him his soul magic, the working parts of his body and the emotion spectrum. He may not feel things as intensely as others and may be lacking a feeling in a certain way, but that didn’t mean they weren’t real. They’re substitutes for a reason, after all.

…Ah! They’ve arrived at his house.

Ink blinked, stopping on the first step and turning back to Error. “So…” he said, finding himself unable to think of what else to say. He shifted awkwardly and cleared his throat. “I’ll see you next Friday?” He tried to think back on what else was going on in school. “We have some sort of project to do or test to study for, right?”

Error nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” He fell silent too, but didn’t leave like Ink had expected. He lingered, clearly thinking about something with the way his arms slightly glitched around. He didn’t say anything, though.

“Anything else?” Ink asked, trying to prompt him.

The blush, which had died down as they walked over here, brightened again. “Um…yeah, actually.” Error straightened and fiddled with his sleeve. “Do you remember the lesson we had…I think it was a month ago? In Health?”

Ink rocked on his heels as he thought. It was times like these that he cursed his memory. A month ago…a month ago…he didn’t really remember a lot of the lessons from a month ago. But the ones that he did… “Do you mean the one about the different types of intimacy? I only recall that it was about intimacy, nothing specific.”

“Yeah…yeah, that’s the one.”

“Okay…why is it important?” Curious. Error rarely asked him if he could remember a lesson from as long as a month ago. He knew how bad Ink’s memory was, so why did he ask? And why now, of all times?

“I, uh…w-well…” Error stuttered. Error didn’t normally stutter. It was only when he glitched really badly and was on the verge of crashing that he stuttered, or lagged, as he liked to call it. Normally, though, he spoke fine, if quiet and almost echoey.

Speaking of glitches…the ones on his arms had quickened up a little. Not enough to be too worrying yet, but definitely something to watch over.

Frowning, Ink was just about to bring that to attention when Error spoke again, voice clearer. “Just…can you…raise your hand?” He slowly brought up a hand with the inside facing Ink, like he was to high-five someone. “Like this?”

Ink eyed him suspiciously.

One of the first things he had learned about Error was that the other had haphephobia. He couldn’t stand people touching him, as it usually caused a flurry of glitches in the touched spot, and sometimes it was so bad that the minute someone touched him, he crashed. Those days were few, but they have happened. Ink had been lucky that it hasn’t happened since meeting Error. But this fact he had taken in and committed to memory, determined to not trigger his friend like that.

He would hate himself, if he did.

But now Error was asking him to raise his hand? For what? He couldn’t see them high-fiving. It would be too painful for Error and frankly a bit of a reach for Ink (he hated being short like that). And because it would be painful, he couldn’t see why he had to raise his hand.

But he was curious.

Curiosity usually made his answers for him.

Just as slowly as Error did, Ink raised his hand, mirroring the one in front of him.

Error inhaled and…

Ink’s mind froze.

He could barely focus on Error stepping closer as excitement and happiness began to take over. The urge to squeal was overwhelming, but he reigned himself in as he knew that wouldn’t help Error at all. It would probably just make him run away and never come near Ink again. And he didn’t want that. So, he forced himself to stay still and stay quiet, eyes focused on the hand that started to come closer and closer to his.

He could see the black bones begin to glitch a ton and felt a spark of worry—despite what might just happen, he didn’t want Error to hurt himself. He would never want him to—he should speak up now. He should tell Error to stop and calm down.

They didn’t have to do it like this.

They didn’t even have to touch at all!

They didn’t…have to…

It was…warm.

Fuzzy.

The hands contrasted starkly and they would be stunning in a painting. The white of Inks and the black of Errors. They were different, but they looked so well together.

This…This had to be a dream.

But it wasn’t. There was a light touch to his bones, just enough to know that the hand against his was, in fact, against his and trembling ever so slightly and actually existed in the world and not just his imagination. Somehow, this made it even more surreal. He knew it was real…but he just couldn’t believe it.

If this was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up.

Despite his promise to stay still, Ink shakily inhaled.

And just like that, the spell was broken.

Error retracted his hand and walked away quickly. Ink was slow to realize what was happening and so by the time his hand was up and the name of his tongue, his friend was already gone. He stood there with his arm outstretched, gazing at the house next door blankly.

He slowly looked down at his hand.

It still tingled.

Gently wrapping his other hand around it, not daring to actually touch, he brought the hands closer to his chest, right over where his soul would be.

It felt like something should be beating wildly in there.

It felt like some new emotion had been lodged in his substitutes.

And somehow, it felt like that contact, the light touch of hands, was far more intimate than a kiss had ever and would ever be.

[dendrite-blues]

Fluff, and Why it Triggers Me

Odd start, isn’t it? I bet most people reading this are like “whaaat?”

Which....fair. I know it’s weird. I didn’t have an explanation either, for the longest time. Like 15 years. Seriously.

I just knew that fluff fics made me irrationally sad, angry, and lonely.

I avoided these stories so hard that I left whole discord servers just to get away from them. I developed aggression and frustration with the people who posted about it. I starting getting annoyed just by looking at the prompts channel because it was most often used by the fluff mongers. It’s super unhealthy.

But that begs a really obvious and hard to answer question:

How the fuck could fluff—a genre explicitly about heaping the reader in good feelings—be triggering?

Well that really gets to the heart of trauma and the ways it warps cognition, particularly childhood trauma. If you’d like to see me unpack that trauma, keep reading. Otherwise, have a nice day. :)

We learn to process the world through our parent’s eyes, so when our parents are not good blueprints we end up with some whack ass mental hallways and trapdoors to the haunted basement that healthy people just don’t have. 

For instance:

Fluff-->feelings of comfort, love, support, acceptance Angst-->feelings of hurt, sadness, fear, loneliness, depression

But when I read fluff the story doesn’t have that intended effect on me. I actually feel most of the words listed after angst when I read fluff. And vice versa, reading angst makes me feel seen, validated, comforted, and like I’m not alone.

Having given the matter lots and LOTS of thought, I can finally articulate why.

Because when I look back at my life and particularly my childhood I cannot remember a single specific incident in which I was given comfort or support when I needed it. (God and I’m tearing up just typing that out, fuck’s sake.)

My parents were not outright abusive. They were wealthy, they gave me the best clothes, food, toys, and education money can buy, but they were utterly oblivious to the emotional needs of a child. If I cried I was given a toy or food or told to stop complaining when I had it so good. 

Any negative emotions were treated as an aberration, and when someone broke down in our house it was seen as a display of that person’s weakness, or laziness, or lack of gratitude for the riches we had been blessed with.

To my parents happiness was the natural state of a person, and being unhappy meant you must have done something wrong, or you must be broken in some way. 

Receiving comfort or support required you to first prove that you were entirely the victim, because otherwise your pain and hurt would be answered with a lecture about how you deserve whatever happened because of X, Y, and Z.

The worst part is that my parents are exceptionally logical, orderly people and so most of the time they had very coherent, rational reasons behind their painting of you as a bad person who caused your own problem. It’s a very insidious kind of message that leads you to punishing yourself in their stead, since you leave totally convinced of your own culpability and badness.

My family has two children, me and my sister. I think it’s pretty telling how we turned out because we really are the two most natural responses to growing up in this kind of environment.

I am a hyper competent perfectionist who cannot handle even the slightest insinuation of critique. She is a pathological victim who seems allergic to success and accountability.

When negative emotions are a punishment for wrong doing there are only two ways you can respond. 

Either you eliminate failure and unhappiness from your life so that you do not need support—me.

Or you focus all of your energy on deflecting blame to others so that you can present yourself to your parent as a helpless victim and receive the emotional support that you need—my sister.

But this post is about fluff so let’s get back to that.

Why does fluff trigger me?

Because it confronts me with how healthy people respond to a loved one in pain, and in the course of witnessing that freely given love, I am subconsciously told/reminded of how my ‘loved ones’ failed to do that.

It’s not a conscious thing, as I said at the beginning I went 15 years without ever making this connection. I just knew that flew filled me to the brim with resentment, disgust, discomfort, and anger.

And all of these feelings happen because on some level, my soul is hurting. It’s hurting so bad because I know that I deserved that. 

I know that I deserved to be the protagonist of a fluff fic when I came out. I know I deserved that when my busted wrist killed my illustration career. I know I deserved that when I failed to finish my Masters degree. I know I deserved that when my film work dried up and I lost everything. I know I deserve that now, for no reason other than because I’m sad and doing nothing in particular with my life.

And I wasn’t.

Not because my parents didn’t offer me comfort, but because I learned to never offer myself comfort. I learned to regard my own pain as a weakness, and my desire for support as a character flaw. I learn to hate and resent that weakness inside me, and to project that hate bitterly onto other people who were capable of being comforted and were capable of enjoying soft, fluffy stories. 

Because we humans never want to think that we are the broken ones. It’s too scary. Too much cognitive dissonance. It’s easier to think that everyone else is just stupid or weak or shamefully self indulgent in their reading habits.

But that’s not true, and thinking in that way certainly isn’t healthy for me. In fact it works against my recovery to regard stories about healthy coping/relationships with distain and resentment.

So I’m making the effort from now on to retrain myself, and to unpack all of those emotions I denied myself. To—as some psychologists say—re-parent my inner child.

I might never be a fluff fanatic, and I certainly am not going to stop enjoying angst. I will always love hurt/comfort (or ‘earned comfort’ as I’ve started calling it, to remind myself of why I conveniently allowed myself to enjoy this genre even though it is basically the same as fluff). But from now on I’m not going to let myself look down my nose as fluff and fluff readers. 

I’m going to take those negative feelings and ask myself, “Why do I hate this?”

Is it because fluff is stupid, shallow, annoying, and pointless? Or is because I’ve been conditioned to see love and comfort as things I’m not allowed to want, and that I am weak for wanting?

I’m not sure if anyone else has this reaction to fluff. I know that it’s without a doubt the most popular genre in every single ship tag ever. I know that I have felt freakish and deformed for disliking it because it was so overwhelmingly popular and so universally regarded as harmless and pure and good.

I don’t know if I’m the only one, but if I’m not then I hope this helps the one other person with this problem. I hope it helps you in your recovery, and that it makes you feel seen.

Pull out your inner child, and give them a hug from me. Because we’ve both been deprived of things every single human being needs, and that’s a wound that nobody deserves to carry into adulthood.