#five loves his heelys

[lunalovesangst]

Lila and Allison give Heelys to Grace and Claire as a birthday present (I hc that they were jealous of how all of the adults celebrate theirs on the same day so they chose a random day between both of their birthdays to have a party for both) and as a joke they also get Five his very own Heelys, so "all the children could match."

He's like haha how funny, you are all idiots I'm never wearing them and chucks them at the back of his closet.

But one day, Five's curiosity gets the best of him and he tries them on. He has a lot of fun. They're now his preferred choice of footwear for his apartment (because there's no way he's wearing them in public).

[afton-family-askblog]

incorrect quotes except its things ive heard real people say

[Please send me asks im so bored ahhh]

Can i borrow a binder for tomorrow? -fnaf4 bully

Why would i have a binder...? -Michael

Oh do you not bind? -fnaf4 bully

Im not trans....... -Michael

Wait fuck really? -fnaf 4 bully

DID YOU THINK I WAS? -Michael

-

Fuck. You. -Cassidy

Shut up youre dead -William

RaAhg -Cassidy

SHIT?? -William

-

MY BELOVED WIFE! I LOVE YOU! -Henry

I want a divorce, Hen -Mrs. Emily

OH :( -Henry

-

If i murdered someone would you rat me out? - William

[Hand on shoulder] never -Vanny

:0 -William

[Hi five]

You two are fucking insane what the fuck -Henry

-

Im gonna grow up sad and alone but very good at robots -William

-

Million dollar idea: high heelies -William

The million dollars comes from the hospital bills -Henry

Yes but how brilliant would that be -William

[alvaeris]

Internet Quotes

No more gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss

It’s time for genocide

I like people how I like my tea, in a bag, underwater

First of all, cringe, second of all, red flag

SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE EARTH SHATTERING PROSTATE ORGASM I JUST GAVE YOUR DAD

My skin is simply the spray paint god choose for me

Manipulate, Mansplain, Male Wife

Twinkie the kinky

Remember that all twink(ie)s deserve a cream filling

I used to be pan, but because of (insert reason here) I am now straighter than your left wall, I know, I live there

Didn’t like that answer, can you do a funnier one

They should also get you a bucket of water to get your partner wet

Send that bitch to god, same day delivery

Life is a journey do you really wanna end it one the pavement

Treat everyone like a serial killer who’s list you don’t wanna be on

Yes bathe the menace, they smell of rain, water, dirt, and the sins of his past. Bathe them they need it

Boot up, bitch

Why is it called boob sweat and not humidtitties

The same reason we all regret the name Worcestershire sauce

Mark my fucking worms

What do teens like?!? Is it memes? Memes about skeletons? Piss? Communism?

Listen up you one lifespan, three dimensional, five sensed skin puppets

Sorry for having great tits and correct opinions on everything as if it’s my fault

Ruin the lives of everyone around you and then die

That is the sound of childhood happening

Wear heelies to escape your feelies

The yassification of Christianity

That’s what 3 am water tastes like

Bite me as hard as you please, and make me see stars. I am yours-

Imagine a burger saying this

Me, as I force a dollar into the self-checkout machine: that’s right…good boy…vore president Washington

Stay fresh cheese bags

Honey is considered raw meat by the FDA

Actually I call it womanipulation. For feminism.

Gaslamp girlboss gatecrash or whatever

I’m learning to person from scratch okay?-

Pride and prejudice

TEENS WANT BEETLES NOT JESUS

The men are being sluts again, nature is healing

SACRÉ BLU MADEMOISELLE VAGINA HON HON HON TIDDIE CROISSANTS

TITS IS TITS

“Which do you prefer, pecs or tits?” Wtf, wtf, hello?? What are you saying to me rn??? Are you serious? Tits are tits. Love is love. Etc. don’t speak to me.

Violence is an art, your body, the louvre

It fucken WIMDY

I am the wind and I’ll rip your head off bitch

I just threw my newborn son into a blender

I am a pocket rocket of sass

I’m ga. Gey. Guay. Boys.

SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH

They were yassified ahead of their time

Forget the man and get something you can rely on, like a taco, or a milkshake

Women rights, women are equal, go to the back of the line

Apple fritter babies

They had their heads so far down when they walked out they were looking at china

You’re so boring you’d put Snorlax into a deeper sleep

I WOULDN’T REMEMBER THIS IF I WERE YOU

Alright you STD spreaders

No more manipulate, mansplain, malewife, it’s time for manslaughter

It tickles the autism in my brain

They beat Jesus with that

None pizza with left beef

Pop a wheelie into heaven

Once a man, now deemed a clown

No more diets, only riots

You really should come with a supply of cheese to match your vintage whine

You are not a clown, you’re the entire circus

There’s those who’ll ride into Hell with you, and those that will drag you back afterwards

The oldest white guy to ever white

Roses are red silent as a mouse your door was unlocked I’m inside your house

Weird hill to die on man, but at least your dead

Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

I’ll scrape- you can scrape…my wood

You will be boiled

We are just tiny vegetables in gods eternal soup

You have room temperature IQ

You sound like how dust tases

Okay but like…can you do that to my ass

Hammed burger :(

And what is the world if not God’s own personal game of Sims

Kinktober, No Nut November, and Destroy Dick December are consecutive, this says something about humans as a whole-

Hnghg…. soup

Take a long walk off a short pier

Mirrors don’t lie, and lucky for you they don’t laugh either

Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches without bitches

You have two brain cells and each of them are fighting for third place

If you ever do that again, I’ll make you forget what it’s like to eat solid food

I’m gonna shatter you like glass

I’m looking at someone who’s never felt the warmth of their father

Don’t do milk. Go to drugs. Drink school.

To get on your level I’d need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes

SHUT UP YOU’RE INBREAD

Even a worm will turn

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock cause Jill’s real name is Randy

Tip: spice up your panic attack with a harmonica

I mean, Batman couldn’t beat this information out of me but get it ig-

I’ll use my trusty frying pan, as a drying pan

The manager has been dead for 80 years oOoOoOoO next

“ArE yOu CaLlInG mE a LiAr???!?!?” Well I ain’t calling you a TRUTHER

People say we cannot live without love, I think oxygen is more important

Meditate, masturbate, manipulate

Bbg you are soup now!

They’ll be recovering pieces of your body for at least three months. You will be alive for at least two of them :).

Fuckerations

Hellon’t

Why do I have to get pretty for Jesus? I don’t like him like that!

Fatism

I’m gonna fuck your dad and give him a child he actually loves.

You don’t take a shit, the shit takes you

I have never once been submissive. One of the few things I can boast about. I have never even been submissive to a traffic signal.

I alone am the reason shampoo has instructions

I’m like Jesus I rest on Sundays

I’m gonna suck your eyeballs outta your skull

You hard boiled turtle slapper

We are in the timeline god abandoned

It’s hotter than a demon dick in a wool condom

If you stared into Medusa’s eyes she’d kill herself

Next person to talk is getting their nervous system braided

You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it

He’s got a mouse in his trousers

Everybody mistake make

I fart in your direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

CURSE OF RA 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊

Thought I’d have some cosmic horror turns out I’m a cosmic whore

I grew this dick for you, you clod

The man who waits, masturbates

Punch me in the back of the frontal lobe until I’m out colder than Bill Cosby’s pong partner

It’s never a war crime the first time

Your life lacks whimsy and your ass is flat

I’d rather play dead at a necrophiliac convention

CURSE OF THE NILE 𓀔𓀇𓀅𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰

𓁴𓁿𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹

𓃞𓃙𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞

𓂺𓃂𓂿𓂺𓃃𓃂𓂛𓂏𓅱𓅥𓅩𓅦

𓅹𓅸𓅳𓅩𓅪𓄭𓄫𓄮𓄬𓄗𓄑𓄌𓃦

𓃧𓃨𓃤𓃟𓃓𓃅𓃁𓂽𓃂𓂊𓁾𓂀𓁽

𓁼𓁠𓁛𓁟𓁦𓁜𓁭𓁡𓀔𓀇𓀅𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣

𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰𓁴𓁿𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗

𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹𓃞𓃙𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜

𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞𓂺𓃂𓂿𓂺𓃃𓃂

𓂛𓂏𓅱𓅥𓅩𓅦𓅹𓅸𓅳𓅩𓅪𓄭𓄫𓄮

𓄬𓄗𓄑𓄌𓃦𓃧𓃨𓃤𓃟𓃓𓃅𓃁

𓂽𓃂𓂊𓁾𓂀𓁽𓁼𓁠𓁛𓁟𓁦𓁜𓁭𓁡𓀔𓀇𓀅

𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰𓁴𓁿

𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹𓃞𓃙

𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞𓂺𓃂

It’s not a crack house its a crack home

_____ is like playing chess with a pigeon. You could be a grandmaster, they’re still going to shit on the board and strut away like they won.

We’ll see who’s sloshing soon!

Being on deaths door just means you got a new neighbor!

Guards! Take this creature to a scary room

Oh my god! Boobs! Hoo ha, love them!

Fun Fact: female Jesters were called “Joculatrix” & therefore male Jesters should be called “Joculator”!

:3

-🌀

what. the. actual fuck. okay firstly WHY ARE HALF OF THEM ABOUT BOOBS??? 😭😭😭😭 secondly which pit of hell did you dig these up from??? thirdly, wow. what is "bbg you are soup now" supposed to mean??? or, "hard boiled turtle slapper".

[monkeyparasite]

no one asked for it but i dont care, miscellaneous headcanons

Murdoc

if i were to describe him emojis, it would be like: 🦡🎸💅🥒

his most used emojis is probably something edgy like 😈 or 👿, mainly uses it in his own social media posts that is strictly hsis own!!1!1

promotes himself without shame everywhere, gets confused whenever someone doesn't know who he is

knows about the things people post about him, has probably cried once or twice over some of it, actually more likely over the lot of it all

2D

cried after reading one fanfic about him (it was a y/n, bought by gorillaz type thingy), cringes when he remembers it

is aware that people be posting things about him online, is horrified to see what they say half of the time because he knows its gonna be down right horrendous

probably likes the food part of the emojis the most, especially 🥨

has definitely thought of making an account of his own and correcting and critiquing the things people say and guess about him, never actually goes through with it

has wore crocs and socks in the rain before

Russel

its his guilty pleasure to read what people say about him online

has definitely boughy merch of himself and all of the band members that their fans made and given to the band as gifts

most of his online presence is just him shopping for stuff (this is canon, isnt it?), yet he's gotten better at that though!

read a few gorillaz fanfic, got his feelings hurt a bit by the way they wrote him, but was moreso confused

reads out loud or just quietly, force of habit, as he was "made" to read noodle a bed time story every night. (( actually did that on his own, it was mainly the frog and toad books he read to her ))

Noodle

heavy trend follower (canon), but will make fun of the old trends she participated in like she literally did not join in too smh

has tried to teach kastu to do tricks, it doesn't work all to good

asks 8balls the same question over and over again until she gets the answer she likes

probably went through a heavy zodiac phase when she was younger

doesn't remember her full multiplication tables, it ends at 4's

Ace

some people assume he's a doomsday prepper but he just replies most monotone voice ever "no, im just homeless" and it makes everything akward, which honestly, yeah good for him

once on his stay at gorillaz, he hit his ankle on a scooter thing and cried and wailed for five minutes

smuggled things back home with him when he left

would love to wear heelies

[thebusytypewriter]

Dangan asks:

16: do you have a danganronpa murder plan? Please share.

17: 5 headcannons for your favorite characters

16. Do you have any ideas for a Danganronpa murder? Share!

HOOO boy okay. I have one for DR2 in mind but alas that is a Getaway spoiler :> In that same vein though I still love the idea of a murder involving Sonia, Gundham, and Kazuichi. Sonia could easily kill one of those two without much suspicion, and Gundham and Kaz each have the motive of jealousy. I do think that Sonia wouldn't hurt anyone undeserving but also picture with me: girlboss.

17. List five headcanons for your favorite characters!

- Kokichi would wear heelies. Full stop.

- Kyoko reads murder mysteries like Agatha Christie but doesn't like to mention it because of, like, a pride thing. Makoto gets her to talk about them, and she gushes.

- Hiro is biracial! (Look at his hair and tell me he's not fr.) I've written his dad as Zimbabwean before after researching the matter :D

- I am a firm believer in chubby Chiaki. She's just like me fr

- Another Kokichi one I apologize but I also love the common heterochromia hc because of that one beta design. Purple and yellow complimentary colors YIPPEE

Danganronpa Ask Game

[x-eliph]

TUA childhood headcanons <3

˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷

five convinced klaus that birds aren’t real

allison and vanya (at the time) would pretend to be princesses outside at the gazebo

viktor dropped the idea of transitioning to ben at one point and he’d always give viktor hand me downs of old masculine clothes

ben had a secret collection of comics and figures

klaus somehow found the secret collection^

diego practiced knife tricks for fun

luther slapped the top of the doorframe everytime he entered a room

klaus had a roblox account

grace read the kids a bedtime story every night

when the kids were playing, pogo would stand from afar and smile

when they played tag, five tackled anyone with his spacial-jumps when he was it

klaus and diego memorized the fresh prince of bel air theme song

allison always had baby dolls growing up and cared for them like they were real

diego owned heelys.

just dance and guitar hero were taken VERY seriously

luther had a jersey of one of his favorite athletes

everyone’s first words were mama

luther’s was papa^

allison would force all of them to watch her have a fashion show

ben definitely would knit

diego fought everyone for seconds at dinner

five had a journal he’d complain in

during line leader, diego would shove luther out of the way so he could lead instead of him

allison used her powers to get out of time out

KLAUS LOVED BRATZ DOLLS

[veryquietclown]

quick megavolt hcs!

i never realized how fun it is to just write abt your hcs for characters until recently so expect a lot of hc posts of characters coming your way

megavolt has rat ears and tail they’re just hidden (i think this is a widely agreed headcannon)

megs likes all the nicknames QJ gives him besides sparky

he/they

megavolt forgets about his tail sometimes and ends up stepping or tripping over his tail

neurodivergent 100% i mean just look at him

one of his stims are making a shock noise like “pzzzttt”

he loves helping QJ make mechanical toys

his goggles have prescription lens or whatever since he has bad eyesight

loves video games and sometimes when he goes to save lightbulbs he steals some video games to play with QJ or by himself

has a notebook filled with reminders on things since he knows he’ll forget something

his hair always stands up a little due to the electricity

sometimes if he has a lot of electricity built up and holds a lightbulb or something it will light up

loves weighted blankets

one of his main meals are pbj since they’re really easy to make

installed wheels on his boots so their like heelys, they are removable

he enjoys skating on the power lines late at night if he has nothing else to do

sometimes when he short circuits he has a blast of memories he forgot and they always leave him confused or anxious

he always adds new mechanics to his car

he’s more verbally affectionate than physically but he does give a hug or two sometimes

he loves having a schedule, usually has one planned in his head and one of the things he doesn’t forget

when he first joined the fearsome five he completely forgot about everyone being there besides darkwing and QJ, he forgot what QJ’s face looked liked though (this is like a little bit after the justice ducks episode, that’s when the f5 was made right?)

another one of megs stims is nibbling

megs never sits in a chair normally, he always is sitting in a ball like his legs are on the chair seat too

he also never sleeps normally, he has 3 sleeping positions! the vampire (he’s laying all straight and his arms are crossed on his chest), the ball (he’s scrunched up into a ball) and the cat thing (he’s wrapped up like how a dog or cat sleeps, he usually does this on a couch or at someone’s place)

he climbs onto QJ if there’s a big amount water not like gently i mean he straight up starts climbing and shoving his boots into QJ’s face, QJ usually is fine with this unless megs boots get in his mouth that’s when he shoves megs off him

everyone constantly plays with his tail, QJ one time added a bell thing at the end of megs tail and megs kept getting extremely confused when he heard a bell nearby whenever he moved

deadly allergic to bees and is absolutely oblivious he is since he forgot he’s allergic so it lead to QJ and the others to bringing him to a hospital and figuring out he is the hard way

These next few hcs spoil the clash reunion ep!

when i say elmo and drake in these i mean like in the past n stuff

megavolt completely forgot he and darkwing went to highschool together

i like to imagine that elmo and drake were buddies in highschool, elmo helped drake with schoolwork and drake (poorly) helped elmo socalize

elmo used contact lenses a lot since he was made fun of for wearing glasses

elmo and drake sometimes went to one or the others house and played games or studied together

elmo was more on physical affection than his present self

elmo tried out skateboarding since drake constantly asked him to go skateboarding with him and he got the hang of it kinda quickly but he messed up sometimes since he would get so nervous about falling off

elmo used to constantly get made fun of for his name and one time someone put a elmo (the red muppet guy) plushie in his locker

elmo used to always get dragged by drake to public events

elmo and drake knew each other since they were kids and when they were kids they would always do little superhero and villian roleplays (wow it became a reality)

also when they were younger he and drake would hang out at the park a lot, elmo always brung a few books so they could read together but usually drake fell asleep before they could finish even one book

drakes parents and elmo’s parents were (and still) pretty good friends

i’ll write more about younger elmo and drake in a different post!!

elmo’s parents were very sheltering, they always taught him how to be respectful n stuff

his parents also were extremely worried sick about elmo after the whole thing happened in highschool and elmo ran off

his parents still look for him

though sometimes i like to imagine if his parents found out he was megavolt they wouldn’t really care he was a villain and would instead smother him to death with affection since they missed him, they would also bring back a lot of memories to megavolt!

megavolt sometimes gets memories of him and drake hanging out but he doesn’t remember drakes name, he just assumes he and this unknown friend of his stopped hanging out after awhile

megs told QJ about these memories and QJ made a few jokes like “oh what if it was dorkwing” or “imagine that duck was stinkywing”

that’s some of my hcs for megavolt! i might write about younger elmo and drake hcs later! also you can take my elmo and drake platonically or romantically same goes for my QJ and megavolt hcs!

[ivyaugustetc]

can you imagine the absolute chaos that would occur if the dead poets had heelys? because i think about it a lot.

todd would be the one to have them, most likely a present from his brother, who thought they would be a nice thing to give him for his birthday or something (<3). todd likes them, but from the moment he realizes that they have wheels, he accepts that he will never be able to master them. so he shoves them under his bed, making a mental note to learn how to heely one day (a note that probably won't eve resurface).

now don't ask me how or why but sir dalton finds these god forsaken heelys (he's in a very "hey, let me inspect every inch of this room because i'm bored and wanna find something cool", which pays off in this case). so he is scREAMING about the fact that HEY GUYS THESE SHOES HAVE WHEELS ON THEM. ofc he knows about heelys and has wanted them forever but his parents probably said no because they have a chaotic son who would probably break them in on purpose. of course he's gonna be a good kid and make sure todd is okay with him using them (which he is) and voila, the only step that lies ahead is figuring out how to actually roll.

meeks and cameron are in charge of the logistics. meeks surveys the shoe and theorizes how someone would successfully operate it. meanwhile they just slap the heelys on cameron and say HEY figure it out smart boy (said with love). so cameron is just running up and down the hallway, skidding and almost falling over and over because he;s trying to figure this death contraption out. and meeks is shouting things he think could be helpful (???) from the other end of the hallway.

ok but pitts wouldn't let cameron fall and crack his head open so HE'S the one beside cameron, jumping and holding his arms out every time he thinks cameron is going to fall back. he's not super interested in the heelys but he likes the bonding that comes with trying to figure them out :)

and while the testing phase is going on, charlie is lying on the floor yelling "HAVE YOU FIGURED IT OUT YET?" every five seconds because god does he want to zoom zoom already. cameron yells sarcastic things back every time and they start to get...very creatively insulting.

of course knox and neil are there watching, but they're more interested in their other endeavors; knox is writing a poem for his current crush and neil is running lines with todd really quietly behind everyone else (ndioeifjewoifdnjfa). they look up every time someone yells or they hear the screeching and floundering that signals that cameron almost fell.

and when the do finally figure it out, oh GOD is it insane. mister dalton is just cruising down the halls of Welton all smooth n shit, looking over everyone like he's a god amongst mortals. he'd be yelling "OUT OF THE WAY, YOUR KING COMING THROUGH" or some dumb shit like that that would make the rest of the poets laugh.

and when the teachers finally realize that a student (charlie dalton) has heelys (a banned object at Welton) well let's just say their not happy. and when a teacher starts chasing charlie down the hall, yelling at him to take the shoes off, nuwanda realizes they can't catch me if i zoom. so he's barreling down these hallways as fast as todd's heely's can take him, cackling on a cataclysmic scale, and high-fiving every one in sight. it's chaos, but it's cinema to watch.

[nicknellie]

@fireflyingaway requested: willex + waffle house pretty plz

So I did have to do “extensive research” on Waffle House because I don’t have one near me and have never been to one, and that led me to find an incredibly good dessert place literally a ten minute drive from me so thank you for that lmfao. But anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this, I went with getting together (kind of) fluff because that’s my jam, so I really hope you enjoy it!

Smooth Like Syrup

Somewhere along the way, Waffle House had become Alex’s favourite restaurant. He wondered if it was the childhood memories it brought back, weekend brunches spent there with his grandparents who cared for him and loved him far more than his parents ever had. It could have just been the fact that he loved waffles, and with a name like ‘Waffle House’ they couldn’t really put a foot wrong when it came to serving him. Maybe it was just the familiarity of it all – Alex had always found comfort in routine, after all. Whatever the reason he loved it there so much, Alex went to Waffle House at least once a week, more if he had the time. And it was absolutely nothing to do with the adorable new waiter who had started working there for the summer.

If anything, he was ruining it all.

Because he’d been going to the same Waffle House every week for as long as he could remember, Alex was pretty friendly with most of the staff. A few of them had been working there as long as he’d been a customer, so they were on first-name terms and always took a moment or two to catch up with each other once Alex had ordered his food (which never took long because he always ordered the same thing and they all knew that by now). Seeing the same people working there and having the same generic chitchat with them each week worked perfectly for Alex. It was normal, routine, familiar, a social situation he knew how to navigate.

Then they’d gone and hired Willie. It shouldn’t have been a problem, but it was. A problem for Alex at the very least. Not only did it disrupt his routine and catch him unawares the first time he’d walked into the restaurant to see a new waiter, but the waiter had to look like that. Willie was all dazzling smiles and sharp cheekbones and luscious long hair and it was, quite simply, unfair. Alex came to Waffle House to eat, not get flustered over some ridiculously good-looking boy.

For a few weeks, Alex had taken the admittedly immature approach to just avoid Waffle House altogether. Out of sight, out of mind. The only reason it hadn’t lasted long was because he missed the waffles, and he couldn’t find anything to fill that extra hour and a half of his Saturday. So after not visiting for two weeks, Alex returned to Waffle House and resumed his routine, still flustered by stupidly attractive Willie, but most definitely working on a way to stop it being a problem.

His next plan of action had been simply trying to avoid Willie which was foiled the moment he sat down in his usual booth one Saturday afternoon. He had been hoping that his usual server would spot him and come over for a chat, but as luck would have it, Willie got to his table first.

“Welcome to Waffle House,” he had said, beaming down at Alex, who tried to act as if the sudden appearance hadn’t scared the life out of him. He wasn’t sure how well he pulled it off, but Willie had made no comment. “My name is Willie, I’ll be your server today. What can I get you started with?”

Two things had thrown Alex then. Firstly, it had been the first time he’d heard Willie’s name. It was strange to be able to put a name to the face of an angel and he was certain he would never have guessed ‘Willie’ if he’d been given a million tries. Secondly, the fact that Willie didn’t automatically know his order bewildered him. He was so used to the waiters coming over, confirming he wanted the usual, and slipping into easy conversation. This was new and unexpected, and if there was anything Alex hated it was new and unexpected things.

As such, his mind went blank and he completely forgot what he usually ordered. A plain waffle and a diet coke shouldn’t have been easy to forget, it wasn’t anything fancy, and yet Alex made it work.

“Um,” he’d said dumbly, looking up at Willie’s expectant face with his mouth bobbing open and closed like a mildly distressed fish. He could feel his cheeks heating in a blush and looked away as Willie raised a concerned eyebrow.

“Do you need a minute to decide?” Willie had asked sceptically.

Alex had shaken his head vigorously, aware that probably made him look as frantically flustered as he felt and was trying to hide, which only made him more flustered. He took several shallow but slow breaths before forcing words out of his mouth because that was how conversations worked and he refused to lose the ability to speak over this boy.

“No, no, I know what I want,” he had said eventually. “Just a plain waffle and a diet coke, thank you.”

“Is that everything?” Willie had asked, jotting the order down on his notepad.

Not trusting himself to speak any more than that, Alex just nodded. Willie had shot him a bright smile and disappeared off to get his order prepared. The moment he was certain Willie couldn’t see him anymore, Alex’s head flopped onto the table and he let out a long, exhausted, frustrated groan. He felt like an utter mess.

For the rest of that visit, he’d kept it together by simply not talking to Willie unless it was absolutely necessary. Had he been a more confident person he might have found a better way to handle it, but Alex had been cursed with social awkwardness from the moment he’d been old enough to socialise and it wasn’t suddenly going to fix itself just do he didn’t make a fool of himself in front of Willie.

As time went on, things got simultaneously worse and better between Alex and Willie, enough that Alex both dreaded and looked forward to his weekly Waffle House trips. For one thing, he and Willie had got to know each other a bit better – Willie could anticipate Alex’s order now, Alex could just about talk without tripping over his words or saying something slightly embarrassing (which always felt to Alex like something utterly mortifying and worth overthinking because his brain hated him), and if both of them were in the right state of mind they could manage a very brief chat.

But on the flip side, Alex hated Waffle House now and it was Willie who had ruined it for him. Not for any sane reason like being a bad waiter (because he was actually a very good waiter, which Alex thought had something to do with the fact that he always wore Heelys so he could glide across the restaurant which was much faster than walking). No, Willie had ruined Waffle House for Alex because now he couldn’t go in there and see Willie without getting butterflies in his stomach and a giddy grin on his face.

Now that he knew Willie better, it wasn’t just his beautiful brown eyes and gorgeous smile that Alex liked about him. He was talkative, he was funny, he was sweet. He was extremely considerate – when Alex came in one day, Willie met him at the door, walked him to his usual table, told him they’d run out of diet coke and that he had just popped to the store and bought some just for Alex, knowing he would order it. And he laughed at Alex’s terrible attempts at humour, he drizzled the syrup onto Alex’s waffles in the shape of smiley faces, he made sure Alex’s usual booth was always free of people for when he came in. Everything about Willie made Alex’s heart beat too fast and his breath catch and it was starting to make going to Waffle House a very stressful experience.

So Willie was the reason that Alex loved going there and was also desperate to find somewhere else.

But Alex, despite his many worries about life, wasn’t the kind of person to give up on something just because someone else made it difficult. Sure, that rule had usually applied to very different situations, and he actually liked Willie so it wasn’t as if seeing him was a bad thing, but it helped Alex to remember that he’d always powered through things like this and that was what kept him going to the restaurant.

One day, he arrived to Waffle House later than normal. He had come straight from band practise which had gone on longer than normal because they’d spent the first forty-five minutes arguing about the dangers of fiddling with electrical equipment in the rain and decided to make up that time at the end. As such, Alex arrived almost twenty minutes after he normally would have left.

He didn’t spot Willie immediately as he came in and couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. Nowadays, Willie nearly always greeted him at the door, knowing exactly what time he arrived. He supposed Willie had long ago given up waiting for him to get there – he had a job to get on with, after all. Alex tried not to feel too sad about it as he made his way over to his usual booth; Willie was a waiter, not a friend, not anything else, and Alex shouldn’t have expected him to wait forever or be there whenever he wanted.

But when Alex came to his usual seat, he was surprised to see someone already sat there. Even more so when he noticed that person was Willie.

Willie looked up as he approached, expression changing from bored to delighted in a second flat. The grin on his face was more than enough to snap Alex out of his sudden bad mood, lifting his spirits and bringing a smile to his face in an instant.

“Alex!” Willie greeted. “You’re here! I thought something had happened to you, man, you had me worried.”

Alex laughed and sat down opposite him, trying to keep his eyes wandering so he didn’t end up just staring at Willie. “Nah, I’m alright. Band practice ran over, is all.”

“I’m glad it’s nothing serious,” Willie said with a small smile. “But if it happens again can you text me to let me know you’ll be late? Just so I know I don’t need to worry about you and I can still keep your table free.”

“Sure, but I don’t have your number,” Alex said, ignoring the persistent fluttering of his heart and the alarms blaring in his head. It seemed as if his mind had pressed its panic button at something Willie had said but Alex was too distracted to figure out what.

“That’s easily fixed,” Willie replied. He dug his phone out of his back pocket and slid it across the table to Alex. “If you put your number in there I’ll text you so you can save mine.”

Heart hammering, cheeks hot, and smile so wide it hurt, Alex nodded and entered his contact information into Willie’s phone. He tried to act nonchalant as he slid it back across the table afterwards, but in his flustered state his aim was off – he pushed too hard and it fell over the edge of the table, right into Willie’s lap. That was one of those slightly embarrassing moments that Alex’s subconscious would likely rub mockingly in his face for days to come and he couldn’t help but wince at the thought.

“Thanks, man,” Willie said, beaming. “It’s just for peace of mind, you know. I really like you and when you didn’t show up earlier I just… well, I wondered where you were.”

Willie wasn’t meeting his eye all of a sudden. In fact, he apparently found the table top very interesting because he was staring at it like it held the secrets of the universe. Alex knew the signs well enough to guess how Willie was feeling then – nervous. But what did Willie ever have to be nervous about?

“Hey,” Alex said gently, lowering his voice in an attempt to calm Willie’s nerves. He leant over the table a little though so that he could still be heard. “I’m here, aren’t I? Nothing bad actually happened. You don’t need to worry about me, Willie. I promise.”

A small, bittersweet smile fluttered across Willie’s face. “Yeah. You’re here.”

The short silence then felt charged, electric, fierce. Why, Alex had no idea.

But Willie broke it, his usual bright smile back on his face as he said, “I hope you don’t mind me eating with you, by the way. I’m on my lunch break and I’d kept this table empty for you anyway so I thought I might as well sit here.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine by me,” Alex insisted. It was a half-truth. Was he happy to have longer to chat with Willie than normal, eat together as if they were friends rather than just a waiter and a customer? Yes. But did this feel too much like a date for Alex’s anxiety to handle, even though it was very clearly not a date? Also yes. He half wanted to ask Willie to sit somewhere else, but that would have been unthinkably rude, so he settled for trying not to be awkward.

Not long later, another server came and brought their food out. For a moment Alex thought it was weird because nobody had even come to take his order, then he remembered that everyone who worked at Waffle House knew what he got so it would have just wasted time if they’d asked. The two of them ate in silence for a while, Willie enjoying his break and Alex enjoying the first food he’d eaten all day.

Their conversation started up again when they were about halfway into their meals. Willie asked about Alex’s band practise, how things were going, what they had lined up. Alex was more than happy to talk about Julie and the Phantoms for hours on end and the way Willie engaged with his waffling on so enthusiastically only fuelled that fire. But in return, Alex made sure to ask how Willie was, how he was getting on preparing to start college, whether he’d had enough free time to skate lately.

It was weird, he thought, that this was their first proper conversation and yet they already knew so much about each other’s lives that it flowed as easily as it would have if Alex had been talking to one of his closest friends. Perhaps he and Willie were closer than he had realised.

He only stayed until Willie’s break ended, which was painfully short. They said their goodbyes, Alex jokingly promised he’d be on time next time, Willie laughed that beautiful laugh of his as he took their plates away, and Alex left the restaurant. He couldn’t shake the odd feeling in his mind, still wondering what had panicked him at the start of their conversation.

It hit him as he was crossing a road, stopping him dead in his tracks and causing an irritated driver to beep his horn at him: Willie had been worried about him.

It felt so much more personal than it should have. If Willie worried, it meant he cared, and if Willie cared then it could have meant any number of things. It could have meant that when he looked at Alex he felt the same featherlight giddiness that Alex did when he saw Willie. It could have meant that Willie spent his days wishing Alex was more than just a regular customer. It could have meant that when Willie asked for his phone number he was actually asking for more than that.

Alex had no idea what inspired him to do it, what unusual burst of courage gave him the ability to go through with it, but a moment later he had whipped his phone out and opened Willie’s contact. There was only one message between them, the one Willie had sent so Alex could save his information, but Alex quickly typed out another and hit send before he had time to regret it.

I know you said I only needed to text you if I was going to be late, but I figured I could text you about other stuff too. Like the fact I’m free next Friday if you want to hang out.

Something like that ordinarily would have stressed him out but he didn’t have the time for that because Willie’s response was almost immediate.

Sure! I hear Waffle House is pretty great, how about we go there?

Alex laughed at how dorky and cute Willie was even over text and replied quickly with: It’s a date.

Willie replied with three emojis – a smiley face, a heart, and a waffle. Even just from that, Alex knew Willie had understood him and that next Friday they would be going on an actual date together. He didn’t care whether it was actually at Waffle House or they tried somewhere completely new; as long as he was with Willie, nothing else mattered.

[devildomdoofus]

“Wheely Cool” - Part 2

“Wheely Cool” - Part 1 (brothers)

Author’s Note:

What a way to start off with the Undateables, huh?! I’m SO proud that it’s over Heelys... but also terrified because I‘m dreadful at writing things for them (well, the brothers too, come to think of it) 😣 it’s just.. my own headcanons for them clash with how I’d like for you guys to see them and both of those things clash wITH HOW/WHO THEY ACTUALLY ARE AND- sorry, I’m rambling and complaining 😅

But I hope you all can enjoy what I have for the Undateables so far and look forward to how I improve with them over the future! ❤️

Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THIS LOVE AND SUPPORT!! I’ll be sure to do something in return for such kindness ❤️

- DevildomDoofus

👹Diavolo:

Heelys, you say? How very interesting. Please, do elaborate!

If there was a unique invention from the human world and you were interested in it, he was interested. Especially when they seemed so fascinating! Shoes with wheels that pop in and out? Incredible! He had to know more!

When you were telling him about the shoes, the history behind them, their integration into ‘pop culture,’ the memes about them, etc., he was hanging on to your every word.

Yes, he knew about roller skates and rollerblades, but not Heelys. Heelys were a different ballpark. But by the three realms he was going to try them for himself!

Immediately, he had Barbatos order him Akuzon truck loads of Heelys. For himself, for you, for the demon brothers, purgatory hall, the entire school, even Barbatos. He wanted EVERYONE to give them a try.

To be certain that all would participate, he issued a mandatory, all day class on Heelys, describing it as a well needed crash course on Human History.

Sometimes it’s fun being a prince.

First time with them on, he wibbled and wobbled for a few moments before finally getting a good grasp on the technique... and now, he was about to make it everyone’s problem.

Barbatos could feel a migraine approaching..

Diavolo never walked anywhere for a very, VERY long time. It was always him rolling through the doorway with a big smile on his face or scooting up to a group of his fellow, ‘higher up’ associates as their eyes grew wide at him. If he saw you wheeling through the hallways, he’d go toes up, roll your way, and high five you with a follow up of finger guns. He felt on top of the world.

Poor Barbatos had to do the same and use Heelys as his new work shoes.

Sorry Barbatos...

Diavolo thanked you for showing him this whole new world with even more truck load of deliveries of Heelys/Heelys accessories.

⏳Barbatos:

Sincerest apologies, but what might these Heelys be?

Showing him the pair that you had, you explained what they were in full detail and hoped that such a thing didn’t come off as ridiculous to an ancient demon butler who’s probably seen some pretty strange, human inventions over the years... maybe this wouldn’t sound so strange after all?

Unfortunately, it did, but it was for the same reasons as some of the other demons. He saw no use for such a thing when his own pair of feet worked just fine and he had incredibly powerful abilities involving time... needless to say, he’s a punctual man.

except for that ONE time

Heelys serve him no purpose.

He respectfully declines using them himself but is delighted that you have such a unique hobby. Plus, he thinks you look rather charming and happy, wheeling about wherever you pleased.

It made him happy too.

However, Diavolo inevitably caught wind of your cool, new pair of shoes and wanted to be involved.

Which led to Diavolo getting himself a pair.

and that led to him forcing Barbatos to do the same.

At first, they were highly inconvenient as they certainly didn’t allow him to go about his duties as gracefully as he did before, since there were now these chunky shoes with unsteady wheels attached to his feet.

As he was getting used to the new attire, he would often falter and spill things, break objects, or cause other types of destruction while also learning how to go about his daily routines with his shoes and feet constantly betraying him. It was a bit of a nuisance but nothing he couldn’t handle.

He’s dealt with far worse.

Over time, though, he had grown accustomed to them and somewhat appreciated their convenience when he wanted to get from point A to point B a little quicker.

Still, he prefered his original pairs of shoes because they were steady and didn’t weigh his feet down as much.

He asked Diavolo if he could return to his original attire. Diavolo allowed it but with a big pout on his face.

Barbatos thanked you for teaching him about Heelys and was honored to be a part of such an experience.

Just, please... don’t ask him to do it again.

🕊Simeon:

Sorry? Heelys? What does that mean?

Ahhh, how interesting. Humans come up with some of the most strangest and fascinating things.

He observed with curious eyes and an intrigued smile on his face as you explained and then demonstrated what Heelys were. He took the pair you offered him and examined them thoroughly. Finally, he looked back to you and asked politely, “May you teach me?”

Once he laced himself up and straightened out, you took his hand and led him forward, teaching him the ways of Heelys. Whenever he’d start to wobble, he’d chuckle a bit and then apologize for gripping your fingers so tightly.

Eventually, Simeon got the hang of them and could scoot around on his own as gracefully as he walked.

Luke watched as his fellow angel rolled around with his toes up and eyed him in awe... and a little bit in jealousy.

Of course, you had to get Luke a pair and teach him.

Before long, you three could be seen scooting down hallways, up and down streets, and doing little tricks all over the place. Wherever you went, you rolled.

And it made the brothers become green with envy

Or in this case, orange.

Simeon enjoyed Heelys enough to buy all three of you a matching set that had miniature angel wings on the sides of the shoes and wheels that lit up yellow, imitating the brightness of a halo.

He appreciated that you shared something like this with him and Luke and hoped that it would bring you three closer together.

👼🏻Luke:

Huh? Is that a human thing?

Whoa, no way!!

To say that he was shaking with excitement as you demonstrated what Heelys were, would be an understatement. The way you wheeled around so effortlessly and how cool you looked doing it? It made him want a pair of his very own.

He felt and looked like a kid on Christmas.

Please, please, please, PLEASE teach him?!

He eagerly slipped on some Heelys and waited impatiently for your demonstration. You pointed your toes up on one foot and pushed off with the other, letting it follow suit once you got some speed. Luke watched and tried his best to imitate it, but slipped and fell to the ground.

Ugh! It was too hard! and you made it look so easy...

This time, you took both of his hands in yours and told him to lift his toes up enough to let the wheels do the work as you pulled him along.

Hey! He’s doing it, he’s really doing it!

After a few attempts, he was able to move on his own, for the most part, and could even do basic turns.

Stopping was a different story but who’s counting?

Every once in a while he’d slip or bump into things because he was going way too fast and couldn’t stop, but he was far too excited to stop.

Immediately he scooted off in a wobbly fashion to show Simeon how cool he looked.

He ended up running into him, knocking them both to the floor. Simeon just laughed because Luke looked way too adorable when he was this happy and excited.

From then on, Luke would roll wherever he wanted to go, with Simeon being close by to catch him just in case he was about to crash into something or someone.

If Simeon couldn’t be around, you were in charge of ‘Puppy Duty’. But whenever Luke would look at you with those sparkling eyes filled with pure joy because of the gift you had given him of Heelys and wouldn’t stop thanking you for them, it didn’t seem like so much of a chore anymore.

🔮Solomon:

Ahhh, a person of culture. You have Heelys too?

In that case, what would you say to a little friendly competition?

Maybe it was the sophisticated way that Solomon carried himself or the insightful way that he spoke but... you didn’t really picture Solomon as a Heelys kind of guy?

Then again, this is Solomon we’re talking about. He probably has a Skipit, a Furby, Moon Shoes, and who knows what else, hidden away somewhere... you bet he had a Nokia, for sure!

Still, how did he know about Heelys in the first place?

The more you came to know of Solomon, the less it felt like you actually did.

So about that competition...

Fine, but what of the wager?

Solomon smirked and suddenly a feeling of uneasiness settled in your stomach.The words left his lips and you went stiff.

A date?!

Whatever could the counter wager be?!

A week with unlimited use of all of Solomon’s powers, huh?

DEAL.

You two stationed yourselves at one end of a very long hall with Asmo standing just ahead, two silk clothes in his hands, held above his head to imitate the ‘initiator’ at a drag race. The brothers, Simeon and Luke, even Diavolo and Barbatos showed up to watch how the race would unfurl.

Asmo gave the signal and off you went, making your way towards the finish line. Within seconds, Solomon started catching up to you and soon got a few feet ahead.

A date with the sorcerer was a couple of meters away and you were getting nervous.

That’s when a jealous Mammon panicked and pretended to faint, falling right onto Solomon’s side of the hall and dragging an angry Levi along with him. Solomon was about to hop over them with ease until he saw Beelzebub reaching for a piece of candy that was tossed out by Belphegor and had to put on the breaks to swerve around, slowing him down.

You were now catching up.

Still ahead of you, though, and getting closer to the finish line, Solomon was making headway...

Until Satan feigned anger towards his meddling brothers and punched a giant, gaping hole in the floor, right in Solomon’s way. Having taken notice, Lucifer leaped to shield Solomon from Satan’s wrath by flying in between them and using his wings from his demon form to block Solomon’s path..for ‘protection’, of course. Solomon had no choice but to stop as quickly as he could, taking a hard tumble to the floor and letting you zoom past him.

You made it over the finish line and from the other side of the hall, Asmo shouted “MC is the winner!”

For a moment, Solomon thought he could hear all of the brothers simultaneously sigh with relief.

Well... a deal was a deal.

But that didn’t stop Solomon from wanting rematch after rematch, just waiting for the day that he wins and gets a chance at what he’s wanted for a long time...

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

HASO, “In the Ambience.”

Had a conversation on discord last night where I became aware that I left Sunny and Adam’s interactions at a place where it was sort of nervous and awkward. So thank you DZ for talking that through with me.

I am not really well versed in writing relationships, and I didn’t want it to overshadow the rest of my writing, so I pulled back from it, but I think I pulled back too hard. So if you care about the Sunny/Adam dynamic, I wrote a story this morning to acknowledge that. Hope you like it, and I hope you all have a great day. 

She got up in the dark, with only the dim ambience of soft blue lighting to accompany her. She stretched all four arms, and rolled her neck. It struck her as mildly interesting in that moment, how something so small could connect them to humans, The thought was fleeting as she took another step forward to kneel down on the floor. There, in a little alcove in the wall, she had set a volcanic rock from Anin, dried moss, and other paraphernalia from her home world. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath resting her hands together.

Praise and respect to the spirits of Anin. Praise the fathers and mothers of war gone to their rest below the moss and the earth. Praise their spirits that watch from the sky and peer through the ether down upon us.

She continued the slow mantra in the style of Prayer learned from Naktan and pulled her concentration to her core ignoring anything and everything around her. A deep state of meditation overtook her. She would never have done this if she  thought there were any chance that she was in danger, but below she knew Earth glowed like a sphere before their orbiting ship. There was no worry of invasion.

She thought she heard something at one point, but chose to ignore it as she continued her mantra.

Eventually, and after an unknown amount of minutes, she stood and turned slowly to find-

She stopped, and crossed her arms over her chest.

“What are you doing.”

Adam burrowed his way further down into her blankets nuzzling his head up against her pillow, “So warm, and comfy!”

She tried not to smile, “You dumbass.”

He pulled the blankets tighter around himself, “You know, I did come here to talk to you, but I actually really am comfortable, so come back in two hours.”

“I-”

He closed his eyes and pretended to snore loudly.

She rolled her eyes as she watched him theatrically pretend to sleep. She looked around mildly for a moment before picking up another pillow and glancing at the door. She casually walked over, dropped the pillow on his head and then held it down as if she intended to smother him.

That got him up and moving.

Before long the two of them were grappling for the upper hand, him trying to put her in a choke hold, and her using her lower arms to pinch him.

He yelped, “Ouch! Pinching is illegal.”

“SIssy.”

He clamped his legs around her lower arms pinning them in place. SHe struggled for a minute and then went limp.

SHe could feel his smug smile, “I win, I beat the saint of Anin. Everyone bow at my feet.”

“You say that, but if this were a real fight, you’re the one with a self destruct button.”

“Self-destruct button…?”

“Meaning if this were a real fight, I would have punched you in the balls.”

“Please don’t”

Finally he let her go, leaving the two of them to lay on her bed, sheets scattered on the floor around them, and her pillows in disarray. Adam put his hands behind his head and sighed.

She glanced over at him, “I don’t suppose you came to just hang out. Here on Admiral-ly business?”

He groaned pulling one of her pillows over his face, “Please smother me for real this time.”

SHe leaned up on one of her elbows, “Why?”

“I don’t wanna be an adult anymore,” She tilted her head to the side watching in amusement as he attempted to throw a childlike tantrum, but only really had the energy to kick his feet once, “It’s boring and lame and they wont let me wear heelies to important meetings…. Children don’t have to pay taxes.”

She laughed, pulling the pillow from his face, “Adam you are many things, but ‘adult’ is not one of them.”

He grinned slightly, “True enough.” He sighed again and rested his head back against the pillows, “I just want to get back to what we are supposed to be doing, exploring the universe and making cool alien friends.” He threw up his hands in frustration, “But Suddenly I find myself embroiled in stupid annoying politics that I don’[t understand, being used by people who are, lets face it, WAY smarter than me, constantly finding myself getting manipulated.”

She huffed, “They aren’t smarter than you Adam, they’re just manipulative, and you aren't.”

He sighed, “Fair enough.” Then he looked at her, bright green eyes reflecting the soft ambient blue light, “I just, I miss this, I miss us, I miss hanging out and doing stupid shit, and all of the things I could do when I wasn’t so important and this operation was smaller.”

She smiled rather sadly reaching one hand over for his, lacing the four of her fingers through the five of his, “Well someone has to do the hard things, who better than you.” 

He glanced over at her raising an eyebrow, “Or you, miss saint”

She rolled her eyes again, “Can’t seem to get you off of that. I’m still the same person I used to be.”

“But with power.”

She elbowed him gently and he grinned, “But really, I am proud and impressed and…. Let's be honest super super smug that ‘I’ know you personally.”

“I know, I am pretty terrific.”

The two of them laughed for a minute before settling down again. He glanced over to her little shrine on the wall, “What were you doing just then?”

She looked up at the ceiling, following the lines of metal and rivets with her eyes, “Praying to the spirits of Anin.”

Embarrassed, he shifted, “I didn’t know you were….. Well I didn’t think you were all that religious?”

SHe shrugged, “Don’t feel bad, it’s sort of a new thing. Back before all this, it was sort of just stories to me. Like I believed it because that was what everyone believed, but I didn’t really accept it, or feel it the way I do now. After everything with my mother, it was hard to feel connected to something I felt I wasn’t a part of….. But then after visiting my mother, after becoming a saint for a religion I never really followed…. Well it started to make more sense. It feels real now in a way that it never did.” She turned to look at him, finding him watching her, the UV blue stripes in his skin glowing blue.

“I believe in the spirits of Anin more than I ever have.”

He smiled at her and squeezed her hand, “I’m glad to hear it.”

They lapsed into silence for a long moment staring up at the ceiling before, inevitably he broke it, “So this makes you like, space Moses.”

She frowned and turned to look at him, “What is a Moses?”

He grinned, “A guy from one of the Earth Religions. You know guy follows god’s directions to lead his people away from slavery, climbs a moutain, recieves the word of god, comes down to give it to the people, that sort of thing.”

Sunny tilted her head slightly to the side, “Are you religious?”

He paused, frowning, “I…. well I…. don’t really know. My family has been some flavor of Christian for a long time.”

“Christian?”

“Uh yeah, The general idea is that there is one all powerful deity who created everything. He has rules and laws that you are supposed to follow, The general tenants of this specific religion mostly boil down to, love everyone and don’t be a dick, which humans are notoriously bad at. You sin you go to hell, a very bad place after you die, and if you are a good person you go to heaven. Problem is everyone is a sinner and breaks the rules, so really no one was going to get into heaven.”

“That sounds bleak….”

“Well that's where the other stuff comes in. Basically this all powerful deity sent down his son in human form to live a perfect life, so when he was martyred he took on the sins of all of humanity and paid for them in the greatest act of mercy to open the gate for the rest of us into heaven.”

Sunny shifted as he tilted to the side to lay in the crook of her arms, “Of course that is just one religion among tons on earth, we aren’t really as cohesive in our beliefs as Drev are….. As for me…. I’m not really sure.”

She tilted her head to the side, cheek resting against his hair, “After seeing space, I become more and more convinced of some….. Thing that created everything, but beyond that it's sort of a tossup.”

She ran one hand through his hair, course but still soft somehow.

“You know my name comes from that religion.”

She turned her head to look at him, “Oh.”

“Adam was the first man.”

“WHat do you mean.:”

Adam shrugged, “He was supposedly the first man that god created, from the dust of the earth…. I think?”

She gave him a sidelong glance, “Look, and you get to be the first idiot in space.”

He snorted and poked her in the ribs.

“There were PLENTY of idiots in space before me, believe you me.”

“Mmm I don’t know, you are pretty dumb.”

He laughed, grabbing a pillow and hitting her with it. She rolled over so she was lying on top of him and then went limp.

He struggled, “Get your big ass off me.”

“Oh no, I have been attacked by a sudden acute case of the, my spine doesn't work anymore disease.”

“If you don’t move, you’ll suddenly find yourself with a case of fist in your face disease.”

She laughed and rolled off him, making su7re the hard parts of her carapace were sticking down for maximum discomfort. 

He grunted.

They returned to lying down next to each other in the half darkness. Sunny reached over and turned on some quiet music in the background as the two of them sat and talked, and laughed.

“I can’t wait to get back to deep space.” He closed his eyes and hummed softly at the thought, “Just the crew and the darkness and nothing ahead of us but an endless frontier.”

Surprisingly, she found the thought to be more than a little comforting, and closed her eyes thinking about the vast reaches of blackness and the endless spinning galaxies. 

“And while we are out we can drop Conn into a pulsar.”

He snorted,

“That billowy bastard would survive and you know it.”

She huffed, “Still though, if I have to hear one more smug lecture how he has a child with you, I’m gonna wring his scrawny neck.”

He grinned teeth flashing blue in the light, “Is someone;.... Jealous?”

Sunny laughed, almost tipping him off the bed and onto the floor with her mirth, “Yes Adam, I am totally jealous, really I am. I mean who wouldn’t want to have a child with YOU, big dumb, dork. Really the perfect place to put my superior genes.”

“Superior genes, says someone who can’t reach the top shelf.”

She kicked him foot clanging off his prosthetic, “I am a foot taller than you.”

He placed his hand next to his ear, “What was that, I can’t hear you over how short you are.”

Sunny shook her head, “At least I have binocular vision and both my knees.”

“And weird neck nostrils, don’t forget about those.”

“Oh yes so I can house them on my face like you and your bigass nose.”

“Low blow, low blow.”

“There are…. Lower things…. I could make fun of.”

He snorted, “Can’t make fun of it if you’ve never seen it. You on the other hand, walking around in the nude.”

“You’re welcome. Who wouldn’t love.” Sse gestured to herself, “This.”

“Mmm yes,.... chitin , very sexy.”

“I am a gift to the universe, and should be appreciated by everyone.” He brushed a hand through his hair, “Well I find that real gifts are gift wrapped, so jot that down.”

“Oh yeah, like a prank gift when you put something lame in a box for something cool.”

He frowned at her, “You wound me,. My feelings are so very very hurt. I might even cry.”

“I drink human tears.”

“That, that’s really gross.’

She laughed and then they lapsed into silence. She could hear him breathing quietly next to her in the darkness, his chest rising and falling under the ambient blue light. She looked across the room to where her saint armor was hanging in it’s climate controlled case illuminated to a pearly sheen.

“Adam.”

“Yeah.”

“You know I’m just kidding about calling you dumb riught.”

“Yeah I know.”

“I’m proud of what you’ve been doing.”

Adam turned to look at her rather incredulous, “Me, of what? I haven’t been doing shit.”

“So we are just going to ignore you overthrowing a maniacal politician while simultaneously piloting a 2,000 year old spacecraft?”

“That was more Conn and Eris than it was me,”

“It was your idea.”

“Lets not forget Admiral Kelly.”

Sunny pulled him closer, “I am sorry, I will not be accepting anything other than you acknowledging that you did a good job.”

“Screw you.”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you.”

He sighed, “You’ve been talking to Ramirez WAY too much.”

She was only slightly smug as she rested her head back against the pillow, “I really should get up and train.”

“We should.”

Neither of them movies.

“Alternatively we could just…. Lay here…. All day and do… nothing .”

She looked up at the ceiling for a long moment and pretended to be in deep contemplation before “Well it’s official, you have convinced me. You and your silver tongue.”

“I am a master negotiator.”

He shifted position putting one arm behind his head, “Think about it, by this time tomorrow we will be back to space exploring and doing what we should have been doing all along. I can’t wait.”

“That makes two of us.”

[incorrectbatfam]

How old would you say Carrie is? Because I know she’s been Robin, but she was also Damian’s tutor in acting. Which number Robin would she be? And got any headcanons about her and Damian?

Technically, she’s been the third Robin + Batgirl + Batwoman (we ignore Catgirl), but she’s also from an alternate universe and her existence is barely canon. I refer to her as Batgirl and I kinda envision her with this costume instead of that bright pink and green disaster one. For me, personally, (and I know I’m way off), I put Carrie at 13 as Batgirl and Damian around 10–12 as Robin, making them the two youngest. 

(Also, she can definitely still be his acting teacher because I’ve seen some kid coaches.)

Headcanons below the cut

Carrie is great at acting and Damian’s not too bad himself, so when Jason’s in a bad mood they’ll act out Shakespeare for him

As the youngest, they get away with pinning a lot of things on their older siblings. Steph and Tim are the main victims

Carrie convinced Damian to buy matching Heelys as a “tactical advantage”

Damian can no doubt hold down his own in a fight, but still, the batfamily better not hear about anyone messing with their baby brother. People can expect Dick’s lectures or Jason’s guns, but it’s Carrie they fear the most because she’s ridiculously protective and no one knows when or how she’s gonna strike (she once flooded a kid’s bedroom for calling Damian a bad word)

They watched Star Wars one time and they decided to engineer real lightsabers (and Duke took the heat for it ‘cause he showed them the movie)

These two are not allowed to be on the same snowball fighting team on account of the time Carrie slingshotted snow-encased rocks and Damian carved an ice blade

They’re the resident snitches that the rest have to look out for. Carrie usually does it accidentally because she’s a chatterbox who talks before thinking. Damian does it intentionally

Carrie makes an agreement with Jon Kent so there’s always someone cheerful and optimistic to balance out Damian

They recreated Homeward Bound with Ace, Titus, and Alfred the cat

Carrie mastered the puppy eyes. Damian mastered the tantrum. Together they can get whatever they want (especially from Dick)

They have blackmail on each other. Damian has receipts from when Carrie lied about her age to rent The Wolf of Wall Street while Carrie has video evidence of Damian calling the cat a “pwecious wittle kitty-witty cutie-patootie”

One time when the Riddler was monologuing they just pushed him into the harbor

They tried to get into a club with a fake ID and the “two kids in a trenchcoat” trick. It failed, and now there’s a running where the others point at tall objects and say “look, it’s Damian and Carrie”

Damian’s jealous of Carrie’s Girl Scout badges because those are a measurable sign of achievement, so she buys a button maker and creates ones for Damian for things like defusing bombs and adopting animals

Carrie is great at rollerskating. Damian is hilariously terrible

Bruce can carry one under each arm

They’ve declared Wayne Manor an animal sanctuary and nobody is allowed to call an exterminator on the bugs and rats

Carrie, for some reason, loves playing Rainbow Road on Mario Kart, which is why Damian refuses to play with her

They once got their fidget spinners and throwing stars mixed up, so Damian wound up bringing five Spongebob fidget spinners into battle and Carrie got detention for playing with a shuriken in class

Damian tracked down the Rogues’ hideout and Carrie went there with pots and pans like “I ain’t get no sleep ‘cause of y’all—”

[lady-literature]

[heelies into the inbox] hi i'm still thinking about the robin hood/princess bride au and im curious about a) the fallout of the ladybug/robin confrontation and b) jason's thoughts all those years away from marinette as robin because GOD you know someone like jason hated being away from marinette for every minute but he had a role to play to survive and get what he needed to get /back/ to her. Also I so desperately wanna see more of the merry men interacting

referring to this

***

Marinette does not, in fact, put an arrow in his throat no matter how much he might deserve it. She’s pissed and hurting and, despite it all, still loves him with all her aching, traitorous heart.

There’s also the fact that, outlaw she may now be, Ladybug is no murderer.

“I’m not here to wander,” Jason tells her easily. He’s cocky and charming and so much like she remembers except more.

The years, she thinks bitterly, have been good to him it seems.

“I have no quarrel with you, Ladyship. I merely seek someone beyond these woods.”

Marinette snorts. “You won’t find the woman you seek beyond these woods.”

Jason frowns, eyes turning sharp. “And how would you know that?”

“I told you I knew who you were, did I not?” she snaps, dropping her arrow back into her quiver. “You won’t find her because she doesn’t exist anymore, Jason. You’re too late.”

He staggers back as if she had struck him. She can see how wide his eyes are behind his mask and his mouth opens and closes like he’s searching for words he cannot find.

“She’s… dead?” he finally asks, voice like a wounded animal, but it only serves to fan the flame in her chest.

“What do you care?” she lashes out, the venom on her tongue normally reserved only for the selfish, greedy rich. “You left her five years ago. Odd timing to start giving a damn.”

With one move he’s before her, forearm pressed against her throat as he shoves her against a tree, eyes sparking mad and teeth bared at her like a snarl. “Do not presume to know things you cannot understand,” he growls.

She snarls right back, signaling to her men to stand down. This is her battle, not theirs.

“What’s there to misunderstand, pirate? Upset your plaything isn’t around for you to toy with?”

“You mock my pain-”

“Life is pain!” she cuts him off, “And it’s a good thing your woman died before she could learn how little she truly meant to you. That would be pain-”

“Marinette was everything to me!” he roars, and around her, the forest goes silent. Not even the telling whisper of her cohorts movements to be found.

“I loved her more than life itself,” he says, hurt and furious and aching in all the same ways she is. “I faced death every day for just the chance I might return to her side. I fought, tooth and bloody nail, to get back to her.” She watches as his expression crumples with grief and his voice cracks. “But I was too late.”

And her heart—her bloody, traitorous heart—jumps into her throat.

“How do I know you tell the truth?”

He scoffs, shifting to move away. “What reason would I have to lie to you?”

She grabs at his shirt then, desperate. “Swear it to me! Swear on your life!”

“My life is nothing without Marinette,” he answers, quick and honest. “It is worthless to swear on when I do not value it.”

Her heart squeezes. “How can you say that?” she demands, grabbing for him, pulling him to her. He resists and she yanks her mask off. “How can you say your life is worthless when to me it is more precious than gold?”

His hand raises, brushing against her cheek like he fears she is an illusion that will shatter at his touch. His voice is barely a breath when he says, “Mari?”

She’s pretty sure she’s crying now—something Adrien will make fun of her for later—but she can find it in her to care. Because in the next moment Jason’s kissing her and it’s like everything that was missing is finally slotting back into place.

She’s still angry and there are plenty of questions she will demand answers to but- later. All that can wait until later.

Right now she’s kissing the man she loves and he loves her back and they’re together and that is enough.

[xserpentlife]

Trippin

Requested: Yes - Hey are requests still open? If so do you think you could so one where it's a Jughead or Sweet Pea x reader where the reader is usually super clumsy, so he's usually prepared to save them and stuff, But the reader gets a pair of heelys and he doesn't find out until he sees the reader holding onto one their friends jackets or back packs running through the halls?

A/N: I hope y’all love this. I really love the way it turned out so I hope you do too.

WC: 1845

Sweet Pea’s POV

5 months ago I noticed Y/N for the first time. We were friends, always had been. Walking home from Pops with Fangs on my left and Y/N to my right. We were making our way to our trailers on the Southside. After a long week of school, Pops was our escape. No care in the world we were walking aimlessly along the stone sidewalks and uneven ground. Y/N stepped up and must have mistook how high or uneven the ground was and somehow I instinctively saw her falling as I reached out and grabbed the end of her backpack. I grabbed on to it as she screamed, but I stopped her from falling before she could hit the ground.

“Ahhhh!, What the…!” I lifted her back up placing her onto her feet.  

“How did you...?”

“I dunno” She looked at me before turning back and running into her trailer as we soon made our way into Sunnyside Trailer park.

The second time we were waiting for a meeting. An emergency Serpent meeting had been called and luckily I was in the area, I texted Y/N about it and she was on her way running from her job on the Northside. She was trying to get there as fast as she could but the meeting had to start before she arrived. I heard a bike pull into the lot upstairs, and I heard pounding down the steps, and again I felt that instinctive feeling. I opened the door as she came barreling in landing in the booth in front of her. I went back over and stood next to Fangs as she collected herself, slipping out of her work vest and putting on her Serpent jacket.

“You know if you hadn’t opened that door she would have run face-first into it right?”

“Nah, Fangs she would’ve…”

“Bro did you see how fast she was running”

“But…”

“You two have some weird psychic shit going on or something”

“I don’t know Fangs”

“Hey, guys!” I turned to see Y/N’s makeup done, Serpent Jacket on, beautiful. I saw her.

The third time was when I saw her clumsiness once again, her goofiness, as she was running late to a class, running down the hallway full speed. She turned a corner running straight down the hallway as she turned the corner too sharp and came barrelling towards the lockers, but instead she came towards where I was standing and barreled straight into my chest as I fell and she fell right on top of me.

“Pea oh my god are you ok!”

“Date me”

“What, did you hit your head?” she started standing up as she grabbed my hand “C’mon we gotta bring you to the nurse, get up you big oaf” I started standing but I pulled her back down and put my hand on her cheek waiting for her to react before I did anything.

“I’m serious” I brought my lips to hers slowly. She bit her lip as I pulled away.

“Okay”

“Is that a yes…?”

“Yes Pea, i'll go on a date with you” we were a we

The fourth time was months later, finals had just finished and we were finally graduating. Cheryl was throwing her end of the year bash. Red solo cups everywhere, kids trying to play with the various vases and China that Thistlehouse had locked away. Cheryl yells every 5 seconds for someone to put something down, and Toni follows behind her to calm her down. The normal things that always went on. I couldn’t find Y/N though. I had lost her as she wandered away midway through the party and went with Toni and Fangs as they pulled me away for a game of beer pong. I heard everyone screaming shouting a bunch of “Do it’s” and “yes’s” and “you got this'' from various areas of the party until I looking up and saw Y/N. She was on the small roof of the Thistlehouse guest house, where a couch had been placed, standing on it, dangerous as it was for her clumsiness. Aside from that, she was trying to jump into the pool that stood below her.

“Y/N what are you doing!”

“Hi babyyyyyy”

“Y/N baby get down” I didn’t care that she had fun. That was not my worry, my worry was her and the danger she was in at the moment. I saw her ready to jump, luckily the building was fairly short, I could climb up right now, I knew if she would jump I could catch her, or her falling I could do the same. I had Fangs and Jug come up behind me as a backup, as she jumped I stood underneath watching as she jumped directly down completely missing the pool that Jughead thought she was going to hit the edge of, which caused him to fall in, while she landed directly into my arms.

“Oh nooooooo, Juggy”

“Its okay princess”

“Fangs can you help him while I get her home”

“Course” the 5-minute walk to the truck felt like the calmest moments of my life, her and me the trees and woods surrounding us and the sounds of the birds singing. Her head nuzzled into my chest. I felt love.

And now we’re here month 5, and on the 5th month with the love of my life. We both started working at the Wyrm, shifts on the weekend covering bar shifts. We were the only two who apparently knew each other’s movements well enough to work together efficiently and timely enough in the confined space of the bar. But this night, in particular, she was trying to impress Fangs and Toni. She had been learning some bar tricks from Tik Tok and wanted to show them a few of the moves. She was doing good and all, until one I knew wasn’t gonna end well.

“Fangs, T, wanna see a cool trick?”

“Yeah Y/N do it”

“Yeah, I wanna see” I watched the bottle swing up as it was about to land on her head, the spin not quite right on the bottle, she ducked down as the bottle was coming close to her head, I hadn’t even heard anything as I was talking to a customer but I knew. I reached upright as I turned around. Stepping right in front of her catching it before it could even come close to hitting her as everyone around us cheered. She grabbed my hand standing back up again.

“Thanks”

“Anytime” we stared into the eyes of each other, for some reason I didn’t wanna look away. As her lips came to mine slowly.

“Marry me”

“What!”

“I’ll do this again in a fancier way I promise, but… marry me”

“No”

“What?”

“No, I mean I don’t need the fanciness, I just know, Yes Pea!, It’s a yes”

“Its a yes!”

“Mhm” Everyone around us cheered once again. The happiness running through me. She was my person. The connectedness I felt for her I never felt for anyone. The constant clumsiness that she had that always made me laugh. The extra change of clothes I kept in my car because she always spilled food or coffee down the front of herself, not to mention all the coffee that she spilled in my truck on our morning coffee runs. Or even the amount of times I’ve watched her phone drop on her face in the middle of the night and had to kiss it better. Or the hundreds upon thousands of times she's fallen up the stairs. Those are the things I love about this girl. But what I love most is the way I can catch her when she falls, the way I know when she is gonna run into a door and I can open it for her, or even when I can be that barrier and break that fall for her. I can be that cushion that she needs. I love her. I want to marry her.

5 months later we had our wedding, Yeah, it wasn’t a long time to plan, but we didn’t need long. It was small and intimate. I stood at the front of the aisle, the flowers surrounding me as I waited for her to walk down. Our favorite song playing in my ears because she didn’t want to walk down the aisle to the traditional here comes the bride. Fangs was gonna be the one to walk her down, her father, a serpent had been killed years ago on a job, Fangs had been there for her as a brother since she was a kid. A brother to me as well, I was ready. Ready to take this beautiful woman as my wife. Our officiant standing behind me ready to make this whole thing official. FP standing off to the side as support as one of my groomsmen along with Jughead, Fangs my best man once he was done walking her down. Her side consists of Betty, Cheryl, and Toni.

I heard the song start, the music playing as everyone took their seats and began to quiet down. The nerves are beginning to rack through me. FP smacking me on the back as he came and stood behind me. I shook out my arms as I brought my hands together.

The doors shot open as Fangs came running in Y/N holding onto his back *I was wondering why had such a long aisle* She let go soon as Fangs whipped her forward, as she came barrelling towards me, she had a short white poofy dress on. Almost cupcake-like. And I looked to her feet to see Heelys. DaNgER was all I thought to myself. She just kept going as she came barreling into my arms as I caught her and helped her stand upright.

“Fancy meeting you here”

“Oh yeah?”

“Thought I’d make us meet the same way we always do”

“Mmm oh yeah baby, just wanted to live in danger, add a little clumsiness to the wedding huh, you’re the clumsiest person I know so I think you’d do that anyway”

“Hey!” she smacked me on the chest as I leaned down kissing her on the cheek before helping her up onto the step by the officiant. Toni handed Y/N her regular bottoms to the Heelys so that she could wear them as normal sneakers for the rest of the night. The wedding went by smoothly as vows were exchanged and the kiss. The best kiss of my life. I stepped down the stairs about to take her hand but she decided to come down tripping as she did until I caught her so she wouldn’t fall.

“See… clumsy, I look over for five seconds and you end up like this...”

“Hey… well, now you’re married to clumsy MR!”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way Princess” I kissed her before helping her stand up straight, grabbing her hand as everyone clapped and blew bubbles as we exited down the aisle.

[demigodgooglesearches]

"too young to be a 90s kid but close" (aka 00s kid) aesthetic:

-nyan cat, llams with hats

-owls. everybody loves owls--

-minecraft before the jungle biome. minecraft hunger game servers.

-slap bracelets

-long sleves under tank tops...jean skirts with... leggings.... dc shoes... shell shoes...

those 60 seconds multiplication tables. the big blocks with 100 squares, but the strips of ten squares, the single squares? also shape wooden blocks. yellow hexagons, green triangles, blue diamonds, youd make pictures with them.

-morning circle. playing 7 up at school. FOUR CORNERS

-u knew the cookout was lit when they had huggies those juice barrel drinks that u bite the top foil

-sillybands

-nintendogs on your grey ds plus cooking mama

-remembering vaguely having to use a cd player as a kid, then an mp3, than an ipod-

-zebra. print. everything.

-japanese erasers

-duct tape purses

-the justin bieber sounds like a girl debate

-yo danny phantom hE wAS JUST 14

-shark boy and lava girl. sky high. stewart little. minutemen. halloweentown. the thirteenth year (mermaid). smart house. spy kids. twitches. princess protection program (bonus points if you watched it live and counted how many times they said princess). lemonade mouth.

-staying up late enough to see george lopez start to play

- "mom how do you spell cartoonnetwork whats the website"

- that weird fosters home for imaginary friends mmo

- fucking TOONTOWN

- "disney!! three six five!!!!!"

- microsoft paint created MASTERPIECES

- was... was kidpix a thing

-bill nye the science guy and liberty kids

-alvin and the chipmunks covers.

- school store! get me a pencil grip for a quarter.

-crimp your hair bitch... or straighten it. or clip in feathers. or strands of dye-

-bakugan and tech decks

-wheezers 'beverly hills' on the playground. we will rock you on the bus.

-camp rock. highschool musical. epic disney crossovers.

-if you didnt have a blog on blogspot.com you weren't shit (with the extension where you could feed the fish)

-lisa frank folders or those folders with close up of dogs and cat faces

-having to learn the fucking recorder. hot crossed buns... hOt croSssED BUNS,,,,

-did anyone play that weird wizard typing quest

-SMENCILS

-clUb PENGUIN. wizard 101. pirates of the carribean online. webkinz.

-everything is not what it seems when u can get all you wanted in ur wildest dreams

-popular snacks at snack time,,,: gritz, gogurt, fruit roll ups tongue tattoos, zebra cakes, cheese dip crackers, those cookie crackers where u took the red stick and spread it... gushers

-in the wee hours of the night you could hear... hear the chia pets taunting you

-orbeez. monster gummies. hotwheels beat that. fur real friends. pillow pets. littlest pet shop. yugioh. bop it. floam. tamagotchis.

-iDog

-HAVING THE KICKASS SCOOTER THENN KNOCKING UR FUCKING KNEES OFF WITH IT FUCK THAT SHIT

- "HERE I AM IN UR LIFE... HERE U ARE IN MINE... YEAH WE GOT THE SWEET LIFE... MOSTT OF THE TIME"

-underdog. undeRDOG. UNDERDOG!

-when you were playing on the ps2 and u fucking lost the fucking MEMORY CARD

-SPYRO

-playing gta the one where the guy wears the blue shirt (liberty city? ) with the sound off... memorizing cheat codes... square circle square-

-the fucking wii... making miis for literally everyone in ur class and sending the ones you didnt like to the parade

-slap slap slap... clap clap clap... SLAP SLAP SLAP.... CLAP CLAP CLAP (i.e 3... 2... 1... BLAST OFF from here to the stars,)

-when the teacher rolled out the elmo projector and those transparent plastic papers

-megan, MEGAN! (i.e i ran over oprah.....)

-the dell computers took over

-bruh message me on msn... then skype

-making a facebook page. liking all the fucking dumb facebook pages you could

-pokemon

-Z̵͖͂Ô̶̘Ö̴͔́. ̵͉͊Z̷̭̊O̷̻͒Ô̸̟ ̴̛̞Z̸̭̕Ȏ̸̗O̴͎̊ ̴̡͑. P̵̧̈Ȃ̷͖L̴̞̚S̶̰̐

-okay those weird ass beads u always got for Christmas that you had to iron to make shapes

-the fortune tellers... pick a color... blue? okay b-l-u-e. OK now pick a number... ok ur gonna marry lindsay lohan and have 80 kids

-WHAT YHR FUCK ARE THOSE GHOST THEMED CEREALS CALLED??? BOOBERRY??? AH SHIT

-team edward vs team jacob determined your survival

-thE yEar tHree THOusAnD

-black eyed peas

-fucking angry birds and flappy bird murdered everyone

-HEELYS OH DEAR GOD HEELYS I ALMOST FELL AND SLIPPED INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION

-that rabits game... let them go to the moon

-THE PS2 SOUND UP NOISE. THE DOOOOOOOSH

-every dvd had that coming soon bullshit

-stealing ur cousins gameboy

-Sugar. Spice. And everything nice.

-that fucking monkey at some of some fucking tv shows what the fuck was that fucking- hi im paul,,

-asdf videos! (desmond the moon bear.. i like trians)

-if you didnt flip ur shit everytime u saw a yellow car and yell BUMBLEBEE

-when the phone rings in school "THE PHONE... THE PHONE IS RI N G ING"

-"WAZZZZUUPPP!!" "WHAZZAAAAHHP!!"

-kidz bop. wholet the dogs out... who who? who?

-We all want to forget .... annoying orange and fred but god wont let us..

-MY SHINY Teeth and ME.

-that weird ass spongebob half time episode where theyre in the dome... or the spongebob episode with wormy... or the spongebob episode with the hooks (dont touch the hooks) or david hasslehof in the spongebob movie...

-invader zim

-FLAPJACK THAT FUCKING NIGHTMARE SHOW. And chowder. Coraline gave me NIGHTMARES fuck!

- I LIke to move it move it...

-POPTROPICA

-where the sidewalk ends from the school library... with goosebumps and diary of a whimpy kid.. BOOK FAIRS

-leapfrog

-THOSE GYM SCOOTERS. FOUR SQUARE. KICKBALL. THE PARACHUTE THING.

-no one knew how to use a fucking green screen

-🎶 we the peoplee... in order to form a more perfect union...🎶 conjunction junction whats ur function 🎶 puff the magic dragon 🎶

THERES A HUNDRED AND FOUR DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION-

the original teen titans

teach me how to dougie. soldier boy. the hoedown throwdown. the hannah montana movie 3d they were giving 3d glasses away literally in walmart

bILLY MAYS AND SHAMWOW

[snakeboistan]

3-E In IKEA

No one knows how they ended up like this

It all started when Nagisa mentioned in the group chat that he, Sugino and Isogai were going to IKEA. So, of course, Karma and Maehara invited themselves - and then Fuwa and Okajima and then everyone else

The kids promise to behave themselves

A fight breaks out within five minutes

At one point Kataoka just asks Nagisa if he could stun clap everyone so that they could get a few moments of peace 

Nagisa almost says yes

Maehara, Fuwa, Kimura, Okajima and the Terasaka gang boys start racing in the trolleys (Yoshida and Fuwa wear heelies so that’s definitely a story)

Karma and Nakamura film it all

Muramatsu somehow got lost even though there are arrows pointing everywhere

Nagisa and Isogai are casually strolling through the viewing rooms and admiring everything as their classmates get into a pillow fight in the background

Nagisa: *looking at the offices* I’d love to study in a room like this. It would be so nice and organised

Isogai: *nods* I’d get so much work done

Fuwa in the back: Take that Speedy Gonzales

Isogai: So so much work

Yada and Kurahashi are having the time of their lives in the stuffed animal section. They have somehow roped Okuda and Hayami into having a puppet show with the animal glove puppets and finger puppets

Hara and Kayano are living it up in the sweets section

Chiba just wanted to get some damn meatballs

At one point, the kids try to smuggle a bean bag out of the store

No, not even they knew how they were going to get away with it

They start to make fun of all of the Swedish names and try to say them in the most funny and obnoxious voices possible

No, they were totally not doing impressions of the A Class kids, Nagisa, I was just thinking of a stupid pretentious name and Asano just happened to pop up

Nagisa actually makes some puns with the names because he’s a tired dad at heart

Because they were banned from racing with the trolleys, the troublemakers then decide to race on the wheelie chairs

At one point Maehara and Karma tried to get Isogai and Nagisa to help them ‘test the beds’

They were shot down quickly

Lunch break had to end early because Chiba, Hayami, Karma and Terasaka kept on flinging peas and brussel sprouts at each other

For some reason, the class thought it would be fun to play hide and seek in. a. Godamn. WAREHOUSE.

Hiding places included and limited to: those play tunnel things, under bunk beds, on shelves, behind shower curtains

Nagisa, Yada, Kurahashi, Kanzaki and Okuda were admiring the plants when Muramatsu finally found his way - only for him to get lost again

Nagisa keeps on having to drag Karma away from the knife collection a total of five times

He kept on scaring passers by with how he would take every single knife and analyse it’s ‘stabbing potential’

Kurahashi bought an IKEA shark for herself (I actually have this shark. His name is Tony Shark and he’s my cuddle buddy when I sleep) and a stuffed snake for Nagisa.

Hazama was just vibing on one of those hanging chairs with a book

Chiba got his meatballs 

Nagisa and Isogai contemplate getting about 20 of those child leashes 

They didn’t even get what they came here for in the first place