#first time you find out he dies
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tmw your boyfriend dies every other night
You mean dealer right
#tw blood#cw blood#yes theres a watermark#im extra anxious bc of the bot nonsense dskjfg#dealer buckshot roulette#i love him#idk how to draw blood#first time you find out he dies#its like. wh#what do you mean you die#buckshot roulette#aka drawing
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House M.D. but it's when a character says the name of the episode
#house md#prince's talk tag#flashing#repitition#so as i was watching this show i noticed they'd say the episode title in the episode#so i wanted to see how many times they did it#the people on livejournal who made transcripts of the episodes are my saviors and without them this would of been so much harder to do#thank you all for your service and i hope wherever you all are you're having a great day#sometimes they would use a variation of the word like in the episode poison they would say 'poisoned' or 'poisoning'#i did not include those instances#there was an instance in 'merry little christmas' where they do play the song in the show#but since ella fitzgerald was not a character in the show i did not include it#where as in the episode 'joy to the world' the students are singing it in the concert so i did include that#i apologize for the tonal whiplash when you get to that part but it did make me laugh#one of the times kutner says 'locked in' is overshadowed by the POTW's voice over but i assure you he says it and thats why its in there#out of the main characters from the one who said the title the most to least are#House > Foreman > Wilson > Chase > Cuddy > Adams > Cameron and Taub > Kutner > Thirteen and Park#this took a bit to do lolol its probably been done already but i wanted my own#there is a chance im missing some on technicalities but idc. im fine with this#there are two more i wanna do but with a character saying another character's name but ill do that some other time#EDIT: When I was making this video I was unaware that the Pilot episode went by two names: 'Pilot' and 'Everybody Lies'#Basically everywhere I looked the first episode was only referred to by 'Pilot'#which I found weird bc i remember seeing somewhere that the last episode was paired with the first episode in terms of title#but i couldn't find hard proof so I decided to leave it out at the time#well i checked again last night and yea the pilot IS also called Everybody Lies so I updated the video#I also think it goes well with the fact that House does say 'Everybody Dies' in the finale so another reason to fix it#AND he says it without Wilson while he and Wilson say the title of the pilot sooooo yea hehehehehe
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percy needs to be haunted by bianca's ghost more
#percy jackson#bianca di angelo#she doesn't even have to do it herself#he is just trapped in the horror of watching someone die and never recovering from the guilt that follows#like i thin we should talk more about how she was the first permanent death of the series and the first death he really witnessed#i think he should be more deranged by it tbh#painfully devoted to nico's health and happiness in a way that skips the border of unhealthy and jumps straight into fucked up#even better if bianca doesn't care. and nico has moved on. so the only person who is stuck in this void of misery about it is percy#and he can't emerge. no matter what he does no matter the time that passes she is always there in the back of his mind#a reminder of the first time he failed to protect someone else.#a reminder of his selfishness. his inability to follow through on promises. of his powerlessness. his uselessness.#in tbotl he finds out that nico doesn't care about him or his soul. he doesn't want percy dead. and percy is weirdly gutted by this#he needs nico to hate him and it freaks him out that nico doesn't. he's clearly upset but percy isn't centered in it the way you'd think.#nico has his own mission and percy is barely a side note in it and he's so bothered by that. it drives him up the wall#how selfish is it to be upset with someone for not hating you because you got their sister killed?#he hates himself so much. he wants to die so bad. but he can't. he has to keep going. for nico. for bianca. he doesn't have a choice#happy talks pjo#okay it is 3:36am and i am. going to try to sleep now
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You've never done that when I got close to you before. Why? None of your business. Tell me, or you can't leave.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 10
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#uservid#userspring#userrain#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#every time i color this scene i get stronger. anyway there were so many expressions i just couldnt leave out. the deep breath ai di takes#steeling himself before admitting it. & the way chen yi absorbs it the way he blinks away & his mouth opens before focusing on ai di again#thinking about it. thinking about four years of attacks ai di had to withstand. understanding the way he is now but hating how its happened#and also the guilt hes gotta feel from that! & yet thats overcome in this moment by a need to not let ai di put a wall between them#which is what ai di keeps trying to do. he admits a vulnerable thing and then deflects FOUR TIMES in this scene. first when sleeping#& choking chen yi when woken(& avoiding when questioned abt it). second by dropping his guard & worrying when he finds chen yi injured#& twice more shown in this set. he has to shake it off he has to put his wall back up but his instincts are strongest & chen yi SEES them.#you can see the way ai di wants to relax into that hug. the way he just wants to BREATHE but instead uses those breaths to defend himself#he chooses to flirt hoping it'll make chen yi back off. hoping he'll stop asking him to be vulnerable. but chen yi knows his tricks now.#and hes not going to let ai di continue believing he doesnt CARE about him. its poetic the way he gives him a taste of his own medicine#like it's *strategic*. he watches and learns. he knows his own influence over ai di he knows that HE is ai di's weakness. it's..chef's kiss
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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The state of the bsd fandom right now:
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#bsd akutagawa#akutagawa ryuunosuke#bsd nikolai#nikolai gogol#bsd sigma#bsd fyodor#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#bsd spoilers#flump!#oh asagiri you silly silly guy#what’s funny is this doesn’t even include all of the fake out deaths from this arc ALONE#hell the amount of times that atsushi alone has nearly died is astounding#I get that regeneration is part of his ability but still my poor boy#this is definitely going to age very poorly at some point#aka whenever asagiri decides to kill someone off who isn’t Oda lmao#also kinda unrelated but finding the images made me remember how fucking brutal Nikolai’s first few chapters were#like he really did all that that’s wild#shout out to that one frame that just says cock
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#for context. a few weeks back i was playing on a fast respawn 2fort server#mostly because i just wanted to just. hang out somewhere without any real serious gameplay happening#that said. for the first few hours i was playing on there. was mostly playing gunslinger engineer and detonator pyro#and we had a good push up into their base but were stuck just at the entrance. with a heavy hold from the enemy team#but after a while. i just kinda got bored and wanted to just fuck about with the taunts and loadouts i had#first thing i did was play pyro and do the cheers taunt before getting on my bike and swerving a bunch as i drove#but i dont think anyone could tell thats what i was doing#so after a bit i just changed to scout. and started just riding my skateboard#(i also did the drinking and riding bit a few times but i eventually just ended up skateboarding around)#(one bit being me on the top of the bridge. doing the cheers taunt. getting on my board. and then skating off the bridge and killbinding)#so at some point. i kept getting stuck in place for some reason. like speficially on bumpy ground or... in the air#and the moment i got stuck in the air (for 30+ seconds mind you) i was just like ''my quantum board technique''#and from there. i just acted as if i was playing the newest Pro Skater game#saying stuff like ''i have to do manual ollie combo for 150000000 points''#or like ''i have to find grindrails on this level''#eventually found my way into the sewers and said something like ''IVE FOUND THE HALF PIPES''#before saying like ''man they really screwed up the physics since the last game''#a soldier on the other team was trying to find me the whole time saying ''wheres tony hawk''#specifically because he had a tony hawk avatar. and i only realized after he said something about it#anyway. after all that i skateboarded into a minisentry and died#and my last message was supposed to be ''my combo has ended'' but i ended up typing 'bombo'#and it made me laugh SO hard i couldnt backspace. and added on with ''my sweet bombo''#and then i left because i had nothing more to do there. my bombo had ended and i had to move on.
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When Odysseus takes "trade the world to see my son and wife ..." to a very literal level in Thunder Bringer , because he is JUST A MAN ....
#i hate it here#but i also love it#listening to epic for the 10000 time#the fact that this was foreshadoweded with the very first song “ Penelope and Telemachus#I FIGHT FOR US !!!#and the second song of the first Saga and every saga after that#also eurelecus saying “but we'll die ..” in the broken voice :(#like bro you just over therw him and killed the cows he WARNED YOU NOT TO KILL#but i get it#Hunger do make you do things#still mad at him for opening that bag though#but everything after that i kinda understand#i mean i personally wouldn't overthrow my king and captain#who sacrificed 6 men to save 36 coz well it makes sense to me#but you do you boo#it is understandable#but what Odysseus does is also understandable#but i wouldn't personally doo itt#or maybe i will#can't really say#i haven't been in a war and then in the Ocean away from my wife and son for *cough* 10 * cough* i mean 12 years#especially after finding out my mom died waiting for meee#and that whole prophet thing with my palace in blood *i know that it was ODYSSEUS* But he DOESN'T#epic the thunder saga#epic: the musical#odysseus#eurylochus#thunder saga#thunder bringer#just a man
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#that first gif... he is deadly#james spader#alan shore#boston legal#*#favorite#there's a full-length shot in this scene where you can see his belly. stretching the fabric of his shirt just above his waistband. ougghhh#trying to focus on how sexy this is but this episode was so. soft and suffering alan#once again everyone expects the worse from him. they ASK it of him for their own benefit#and he doesn't disappoint. he is the worst and he loses his temper and finds himself on the ledge again#when he storms out of denny's office so mad he can't even look at him. went home alone and furious and upset#drank himself to sleep for the first time in months if not years bc after a good run it feels like things are falling apart again#the way they always do. because that's what alan shore deserves#he thought it might be different this time. he thought well my parents didn't care about me. my wife died. I got fired. everyone leaves#maybe this time will be different. but now he's in the hotel room where he lives. without his best friend. about to be disbarred. stupid.#this was always going to happen because he doesn't deserve any better. they were all right about him. they were right to run away#everything is fixed the next day he and denny go on a field trip 🤠 but GD!!!!!#alaaaaannnnnnn 😭
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damn casey hartley really like...haunts the narrative huh
#nitw#casey hartley#night in the woods#i am not the first person to say this nor will i be the last#but i think about him a lot#he's just#oh god#the way the cult said no one would miss him#and then mae misses him#she says she's sad thinking about him all alone#germ says he used to ask every crust punk if they say casey#keyword 'used to'#gregg says casey's been offline since he disappeared#which means he likely tried to message him before giving up#bea joining the band to cheer gregg up#gregg trying not to be hurt for casey's sake bc hes happy he got away but he misses him#the way his ears *flatten* when he finds out casey dies and they never do that any other time in the game#the way he demands to know who did it so he can kill them and angus doesnt stop him even though hes likely worried#cause he knows gregg needs this#and BEA stopping him because she UNDERSTANDS the unbelievable pain and rage hes feeling and theyre closer for the first time for it and she#worried about him#casey's parents putting up missing posters and still not knowing what happened to their son#mae and gregg. you gotta tell them#AH
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No but imagine how absolutely FUCKING FUNNY it'll be if mafia!dazai and chuuya had an undercover mission in a school right? And their education level isnt up to date yes? So like they're okay in practical subjects but absolutely clueless in any type of science where theory is required and both of them thought they'd be kinda okay at math since dazai is SMART smart and chuuya is somewhere there beside him at the intelligence level
But then suddenly they have mathematics more than your usual add, minus, multiply, divide and both of them are like ??????
Because why the FUCK do u need to learn some weird trigonometric table??? And proving a triangle is a triangle???? And ratios ???
Both of them are the last students in class but they're like mehh because they dont give a shit like that but their math teacher is absolutely LOSING IT because 2 boys who should have ample knowledge about these topics at this class dont have a SINGLE clue and he wants to fix this since SOMEONE has to and its unideal for them to lag behind like that
Chuuya and dazai absolutely fuck up the guy's schedules for everything because hey they might as well have some entertainment while they're at it right? And the teacher does the most awsome tricks whenever he's mad (counting to ten and holding in his anger while chuuya is reciting his MULTIPLICATION TABLES WRONG) (staring at dazai with a look of absolute HORROR when dazai just recites suicide drugs from the top of his head after not being able to understand angles)
Bonus: at the end of the mission both of them kind of disappear and the teacher gets super fucking concerned because their contacts, guardians, everything is just missing and he thinks oh god maybe the taller kid killed himself or maybe the shorter one got himself wind up somewhere he shouldnt be because he talks too much
And to figure where the students are because NO ONE is doing anything, he ends up at the ADA
#bungou stray dogs#bungou gay dogs#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#yes the teacher is kunikida#he sees dazai at the agency years later#and just absolutely beats the shit out of him#because he can now#he isnt stopped by petty school rules#and dazai is STILL a pain in the ass#kunikida asks dazai where he disappeared#and dazai said he got kidnapped and trafficked because he panicked#kunikida asks him what happened to his short friend#and dazai says he died speeding his bike because he panicked#when kunikida finds out both of them are in the mafia#he asks dazai who was the target#it was him#because of his ability#the mafia wanted to remove him#just in case#but chuuya and dazai didnt do anything#because hey they're teacher kind of nice#in a temper issues kind of way#and chuuya likes that he can talk shit about dazai#cue kunikida meets chuuya for the first time#and instantly starts reprimanding him for his fashion#his speech#his swearing#“did you finally learn your multiplication tables?” “pls stfu”
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having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself
#what if you felt unbearable guilt because your brother went missing in the two seconds you were separated#and you feel like there mustve been Something you couldve done to prevent it#if only you had stuck together. if only you hadnt let him tag along on your basically-a-suicide-mission in the first place#but none of those things happened so you go through three years blaming yourself#continuing to search for him because maybe hes still out there. and maybe exhausting yourself on an aimless search is a way you can atone#and then you're pulled into this big destiny adventure so your searching is put on the back burner#you're so busy doing important things and meeting new friends and there are points in your adventure where your heart feels lighter#and maybe you open up just a little about the crushing guilt you feel. and your new friends say it wasnt your fault#maybe you start accepting that your brother is really gone but you have to keep living your life#saving your brother was a far out dream but saving the world is something you have the power to do#so you try your best. so you dont fuck up this time#your guilt becomes the fuel keeping you going#and then at the end of your journey#you find out one of the biggest obstacles on your journey#the human chimera that you felt kinda horrified at and a little bad for even as you fought them#is your brother you've been mourning and agonizing over not being able to save#so um. The Guilt is even worse now#now he doesnt just feel responsible for his death. he Now feels responsible for him becoming this Creature Thing under porkys control#and in a lucas dies scenario. hoogh i cant imagine how claus would feel after that.......#however the thing that spurred this post was thinking about the lucas lives postgame scenario (it just got a bit out of hand lol) so.#your brother is alive and back home again and youre so unbelievably glad#but the guilt still creeps up every time you see how much hes Changed. physically and mentally#you had just started to accept the fact youd have to live without your brother but somehow having him back is almost just as painful#things cant just go back to how they were before. youll never be the exact same happy family as you used to be#its strange adjusting to having lucas back and its strange trying not to step on each others toes with their trauma#you cant help but be clingy because you couldnt bear it if he disappeared again under your watch#but nobody wants to be watched all the time especially when youre recovering from your brainwashed identity as an army commander#FUCK I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I WANTED TO RAMBLE MORE AUGH. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL. i swear its not all angst theres some lightheartedness in it#mother 3 swap au#mothfics
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allan is so loyal to his job its a little scary
#GOOD EPISODE#sorry youll find i have nothing to say if im not actively freaking out about sometbjng#that’s just how i am . it was extremely good i will be rewatching this one a lot i think#well . more than usual . ive rewatched ep 2 like at least 8 times and i couldnt even tell you for the first ep#i tjink my favourite moment . apart from that entire scene from dj spit running off with the paper clips to the helicopter crashing#was when the dude who gave them to allan just casually revealed that he died after he left and he was an actual ghost#and also the entire tiny mr boss scene at the end but. ive already kinda seen that in a promo so doesn’t count the same#ALSO MORE OF CHARLIE AND PIM GETTING ALONG WAY TOO WELL WITH EACHOTHER#WHATS HAPPENING HERE!!!#somehow them adding a little bit of context to why charlie kissed pim made it even better#like he really just did that.. because he was excited to do a job with him… Hes so cute#ok last thing . pim in a suit again 😁😁😁😁 in the ep 4 promo 😁😁😁😁😇😇😇😇#And him being like concerned for charlie 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇#smiling friends spoilers
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JUSTICE FOR DAVINA CLAIRE I'M SO FUCKING SERIOUS FUCK OFF OH MY FUCKING GOD
#CAMI AND DAVINA GONE IN ONE EPISODE??!?!!??#YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING FOR REAL#(davina perma died an episode later both they both died in one episode right before that)#also this season has been slacking on marcel and the ep post-davina's death kicked him up several notches#he said all the shit i take issue with about the always and forever family bs#he hit that shit out of the park#also camille's death being all about comforting klaus fucking pissed me off#it was until she was scared right at the end that it was more about her#and her last words COULD have beenthe immortality line. but then they had to have her bolster klaus again instead#at least we got others mourning her after#but davina????#those bitchass ancestors forced her boyfriend to kill her then nearly shredded her soul#and she could've been resurrected. but of course fucking family came first#she had to die screaming for mercy alone as the ancestors tried to carve her soul from fucking existence#(and though i'm mad at elijah and freya for it it makes sense for them to do it#(what pissed me off was them and klaus then telling marcel that they were justified and he should just suck it up and understand)#(like no take the consequences let the man mourn)#(freya claiming family to kol too like girl i don't know you. and this 'family' loves you more than it ever loved me)#(y'all only love me on my deathbed)#(if being family means we kill each other's partners [which happens time and time again] then fuck being in this family)#like i don't actually want the mikaelsons dead. but also i hope super vampire marcel kills you all#hope kol gets away from you people because you are not family to him. you aren't.#but mostly davina. poor fucking davina#her and kol are my bonnie and enzo - finally finding someone who will choose them not just use them#only for death at the hand of allies#davina clair was an abused teenager you all used and who justifiably hated y'all#and she deserved more than to die like this. die basically three fucking times over still helping in the end#truly have not seen a witch this blatantly used and mistreated since the bonnie bennet#davina claire#the originals
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Ragnvindr bros angst is fun but it’s also very important to remember that these absolute dorks still hang out with each other despite the Everything. I’m oversimplifying here but it’s like fighting with your sibling but then texting them a meme twenty minutes later but ramped up to 11 and more emotionally fraught.
#pika’s ramblings#genshin#ragbros#Venti’s story quest. first golden apple archipelago. every damn time Kaeya’s at angel’s share while diluc is bartending.#I bet there’s more and hyv just isn’t showing it to us#I bet it drives the traveler batty that these two have every opportunity to make up but just Don’t and yet still keep hanging out anyway#SURE MUST BE NICE TO ALWAYS HAVE A GENERAL IDEA OF WHERE YOUR SIBLING IS HUH. BET ITS GREAT KNOWING YOU CAN TALK TO THEM WHENEVER YOU WANT.#quoth the traveler#also I think if traveler aether found out what diluc did to kaeya he would just start throwing punches#aether shaking diluc by the lapels: WHEN YOU FIND OUT YOUR LITTLE SIBLING IS CONNECTED TO THE ABYSS YOU DO NOT FUCKING TRY TO KILL THEM!!!!!#NO MATTER HOW CRYPTIC OR DIFFICULT THEYRE BEING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!#like. I know diluc was already full of grief and guilt after crepus died/was mercy-killed and was definitely not in a headspace where it was#advisable to reveal that information. they both made bad decisions.#and if you go by the letters from hidden strife it very likely WAS a mostly grief-fueled response#since it’s evident that after he’s had time to process everything he does still care about kaeya#but like. his little brother just told him his deepest secret and this man decides to attack him about it#kaeya was truly vulnerable one (1) time and. well. once burned (literally) twice shy.
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if I had a nickel for every sidequest involving Sophie and the death of a child/childlike humanoid I'd have... wait 5 nickels?? jesus christ Sophie I'm so sorry 😟
#dolphin plays graces again#to list em all first there's Moira the daughter of a rich family in Yu Liberte. Her mother thinks Sophie *is* Moira#...because she's refusing to accept the truth that her daughter died. You have to go find her bones in the desert 😟#Then there's Lara the girl who collects plushies. I never finished that one in my first playthrough so I didnt know the ending#SHE WAS A GHOST THE WHOLE TIME WTF???????#That quest even ends w Sophie apologizing to Asbel for disappearing in front of him 7 years ago bc now she's lost someone that way 💔😭#there's an unnamed ancient Fodran girl who's bratty but gives Sophie a flower brooch to make her feel more human#and then is PROMPTLY killed by a monster 😅 rip#There's Lambda's humanoid body you find at the crash site. After he explodes Sophie wants to bury him 😭#And finally there's the humanoid whose parts wear out while the others are searching for replacements#She says she's jealous of Sophie for being more human-like but she also seems to have a soul. She has a will to live anyway 😭#That's the only one w a happy ending tho! In another quest Pascal can put her memory drive into a new humanoid she made#And that's how you unlock Mecha Sophie :)#But my god why are all of Sophie's quests so fucking sad. This game is usually so silly but they like to make Sophie suffer 😭#But in L&L Sophie gets a sidequest witnessing the birth of a baby!! feels extra poignant now 💜#I mean that quest is meant to go w the themes of that arc. It's called Lineage and Legacies for a reason 😅#But also god the girl really deserves to witness some life after all of this death 😭😭😭
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