#(i also did the drinking and riding bit a few times but i eventually just ended up skateboarding around)

[skeletalheartattack]

[jackalopenecropsy]

ok i'll indulge myself....

part 1(?) of biker gang!141 and an interesting fem grunge!reader... if u want more

cw; slight mentions of blood

The streets were pretty quiet this time of night. The only sounds to be heard were barking dogs or tires occasionally skidding in the distance. And the teenagers were never out this late in the fall, as school just started or they were working their dead jobs at the gas station or high school graduates pouring the same 5 drinks at a bar.

You liked walking around- even though it was maybe 1 or 2 in the morning- mainly because you had your scary guard dog with you, (who wasn't even a bit scary, he was just a police academy dropout with a fear of cotton swabs and squirrels) but also because the air this time of year smelled the best. It did wonders for your skin and sinuses, so why not? Walking around in the daytime was a lot more of a chore anyways, teenagers skating sporradically with fruity vapes on necklaces or older men just leaving their blue collar jobs for lunch while staring at you with unreadable expressions.

The northwoods, sigh. You'd told yourself that you'd leave it all the time when you were a kid. Over the years, a mix of the economy making that absolutely impossible and an aquirement of taste for small-town life made it a lot easier to accept the impossibility of it. Bartending and eventually being remote in editorial work kept you afloat in the small house you'd been able to buy flat out in the south side of town.

That part of town was just cemeteries and neighborhoods, neighborhoods and railroads, and gas stations and bars. As most south sides were. Another luxury of living where you lived was the copious amounts of streets and drag-worthy strips of old highway that laid for miles in one direction or another.

You used to work as a freelance flag girl for drag racers on some shitty craigslist copy, but quit l because the only racers that wanted you were full of white-claw drunk young assholes rooting for douchebag car modders who compensated for their dick sizes by throttling so hard that the pop of their exhausts sounded like gunfights. It was too loud and to risky and too tasteless.

But in the ends of the summer, it was taken over by the bikers. Not bicycle-bikers, but motorcyclists.

You were absolutely terrible at hiding your drooling depraved stares at every single one of them. The young women in skin-clad leather and red lipstick with matching sleek bikes, the finer-aged older men in their lean-back harleys with bandanas, the cute guys your age in their blackout helmets and their modestly-modded bikes. Oh, the variety, oh the taste. You had once thought about picking up biking yourself, but when you told your friends they all cackled at the idea. You were too absent minded at times; definitely from all the weed you smoked. Only half embarassed, you agreed.

Tonight was no different than the other nights of early Septembers before. Your dog lapped his tongue in the air catching stray dew drops falling from leaves overhead as you took your time walking accross the street. He swayed his tail so hard that you almost got knocked over a few times. The sound of a motorcyle revving in the distance made you slow your speed to a halt, listening intently, shamefully to see if you could get any bit of eye candy while out.

You recognized the sound of the engine, which soon became engines as the sounds came closer.

'Oh... a group of Kawaskis?? No... that's at least two more different motorcyles, but a few Kawaskis.. Do I hear a Harley?'

You blinked to yourself before shaking your head.

'God fucking damnit, you geek. You should NOT be able to tell what motorcyle model someone's riding from the fucking engine.'

Before you can shamefully walk back towards your house, you feel your dog tug harshly at his leash. You try to hold him back, but he yanks with one solid push of his back paws on the blacktop, and before you know it, you're hands and knees down on the hard ground as he's running full speed towards the sound of the motorcycles.

You groan in frustration as you stand up in a small bit of pain, your fishnets torn to shit as your palms and knees are scraped just enough to bleed a reasonable amount for getting launched by a 90 lb dog of muscle.

"Riley!" You shout and run at him, dodging a few trash cans along the street's edge as you do so. "Riley, goddamnit! Come back! Here boy!" Your converse were broken in enough to give you good ground as you chased him, and you almost grab his loose leash dragging behind him- until you trip over your own feet again just before you do.

You stay on the ground this time, unworried for your dog, as he's a big boy who knows how to not get hit by a car or get lost. More focused on the soul-eating embarassment of being outrun by a dog with more anxiety than a war veteran, and tripping twice in the process. You ignore the growing and stalling sound of engines beside- or in front, you can't tell being face down in the gravel- you as you're grovelling.

"Eh... excuse me miss? Are you alright?" You hear a gruff, dark voice mumble from just above you. You whip your head up to look at 5 people in bikers helmets just in front of you, their motorcyles off or stalling as they stand looking down at you on the ground.

"Oh- oh my- uh yeah- don't worry about me I'm great. I just tripped- nothing serious." You wave them off as you try and cover the growing fluster on your face. You stand and shake the dirt off your hands before swiping it off of your zip up, shaking it out of your gloves too. You look up to see none other than Riley, sitting contently behind the man in front of you, eagerly being pet by one of the bikers with a skull design painted onto his helmet and visor.

"Riley!" The biker looks up and your dog wags his tail hard enough to knock the bikers over too, and barks at you. "You are so not going to get any treats when we get home." He whines and continues barking, then twirls in a circle.

"You're dog's name is Riley?" The man in the skull helmet asks- and you suddenly become hyperaware of how all of the bikers are staring so intently at you. And those that have spoken so far have sickeningly thick English accents.

"Ah- yes, yeah. I was just on a walk and I heard you guys from the other street- but he just loves motorcylists so much, he took off on me. Usually he just waits until they pass us by. I'm so so sorry if he got in your way or anything." You scramble to try and seem somewhat normal as you switch between standing like a deer in their headlights, and holding your arms as the wind blew against your back.

"Ain't that a funny coincidence." The biker next to him stated, his accent thicker, and different. Possibly scottish.

"You watch it- It is a good name for a dog like this." The skull-helmet points an authoritative finger at the scot before patting Riley's head again. The man in front of you laughs heartily and takes his helmet off, revealing an older- FINELY aged man with hair in a short, short pulled back light brown and gray spotted ponytail. His mustache pulled down into a scruffy beard by mutton chops, giving him a real grizzly harley-rider look. You swore your jaw dropped when he took it off, and you were quick to cover your mouth when he smiled at you.

"I'm sorry about that miss- You've got a good dog protecting you. My names John Price." He walked up and took your hand from your face, squeezing it lightly. "My boys back there are harmless. You seem to have roughed yourself up a bit." He tilts his head as he leans back and looks you up and down, still holding your hand. Oh how deeply thankful you were that he was blocking the headlights from illuminating your red face.

"Yeah- I'm fine though, really! I just, can't keep up with Riley if I tried." You laugh and tremble a little as the cold air catches up to you. He raises an eyebrow- and fuck it gets to you because it makes him smirk a little bit too.

"Well, no offense but you look like you're in no condition to walk home like that!" A woman's voice comes up from behind Price's. You squint at the light when she comes up, and you see a blonde woman about his age with smile lines and blue eyes that could knock you down to your knees yet again. "My name's Kate, don't let John here scare you, he's just an old man." They banter a bit as you stare into space, begging any ethreal being to show you a sign that this is real life.

'Fuck being bisexual, god hates me.' You curse to yourself as you smile shyly at her.

"We can give you a ride home if you'd want! I wouldn't feel right letting you have to get yourself home with blood down your legs." Price motions with his free hand at your torn fishnets, rocks littering the cuts on your leg.

"Oh- I don't want to impose or anything, and I'll have Riley!" You struggle to keep yourself still as the wind continually stings.

"Lass, you're shakin' like a leaf in this wind." The scottish man shakes his head in his helmet, leaning back against the flat of his bike.

"You ain't getting home with just a dog draggin' you forward." The gruff voice of the skull-head from beside him made you look away in embarassment. They were all right, you were blocks away from home, and you didn't have your phone on you either.

"Um.. If you're sure you don't mind... but what about Riley?"

"He can ride wi' me!" The scott excitedly patted the flat he was leaning on, shuffling a few top panels to show a compartment on the back of it that had a hooking mechanism for leashes. Assumedly he had dogs too, and how greatful you were for it.

You sigh in relief that you wont have to limp home in your misery, as strong as you are, the chunk of you lost twice to the blacktop actually hurt more than you'd ever want to admit.

Before you can take a step forward, you're lifted off your feet and holding the shoulders of Kate. She laughs as you gasp and sets you on the back of skull-head's bike so you can backpack him, right next to Riley in the odd formation their bikes created.

"I promise he's not as scary as he looks- right Simon?"

"I don't bite." He chuckles deeply and you tense against his back as he does so. "You might want to hold on tho', I'm not exactly the easiest ride." You blush, hard as he says it, and the group laughs loudly as they start their bikes.

"Oi, treat her nice Si." A soft voice jeered from the last bike to Kate's right. "Or else I'll have to take her off your hands."

"Nice try Gaz."

"Boys! Quit scarin' her." Price chuckles and lights a cigar as he revs his engine. "Or else she wont wanna see us again. Now where do you need us to take you, love?"

'Ah.' Was all that crossed your mind as you locked your arms around Simon's waist, and you all shot off down the street.

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Something Special

A/n: No one asked for Nikki but I like Nikki Idc that he's 65 HE'S PRETTY this is also so not how he'd react but I thought it was cute so sue me

Warnings: Smut, reader is a little bit of a stalker, thigh riding, oral (m receiving), slight angst, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

Nikki Sixx. Six foot tall crude bassist of big glam band Motley Crue.

You were obsessed.

You went to as many of their shows as you could, attending any after parties they had, all in the hopes of ‘accidentally’ running into Nikki and having the night you’d been touching yourself to for the past few months.

You couldn’t help it. You were all alone in bed with nothing but your thoughts to fuel you, no wonder your hand slid down between your thighs. Countless times you’d pretended it was Nikki’s hand pleasuring you, picturing his soft lips caressing the shell of your ear and whispering the dirtiest things to you, the room filled with your moans of his name and curses spilling out of you like a mantra.

At long last you got your hands on a backstage pass to one of Motley’s concerts. You got yourself all ready, wearing an outfit you were sure would catch Nikki’s attention. Leather skirt with matching boots, ripped fishnets and a cropped band shirt with a leather jacket thrown over to keep you warm. You spent hours on your hair and makeup all with the thoughts of what it would look like completely ruined by the end of the night.

You made it into the mosh pit, getting right up close to the stage where Nikki was. It was about halfway through the concert and you begrudgingly came to the realisation that you looked just like every other girl in the crowd. You knew that this whole time, it was always in the back of your mind that everyone trying to get with Nikki would be dressed how they thought he would want them to dress.

It killed your mood and you almost thought about not going backstage. Almost.

The concert ended, they came back out for their encore before hiding away again, inviting those with passes to come on backstage. Since that was you, you followed the herd heading that way.

As expected it was another party, a Motley Crue party. You walked around on the sides, slipping past people in the search of Nikki. You thought you saw him a few times but he always seemed to slip away. Eventually it led you to a door that you stared up at in awe.

There was a small placard on it that read ‘Nikki Sixx’.

You found his dressing room.

You thought for a moment. You couldn’t really go in there, could you? Of course you could, and you did, sneaking in without anyone noticing.

There was a couch on one side, a vanity on the other and in the middle was a small table covered in snacks and drinks and drinks and even more drinks with a small mirror dusted with a bit of white powder. But none of that intrigued you as much as the pile of clothes in the corner.

Of course the costumes they wore on stage were very extra and it made sense that they would change into them upon arrival rather than come in wearing them.

You got closer and saw a pair of boxers placed atop the pile. Your mind filled with a lustful haze as you got on your knees and held the piece of clothing to your nose, inhaling his salty, musky scent, getting high on his pheromones.

Your hand moved down to your heat, pulling your skirt up so it bunched at your hips, giving you better access to yourself. You’d decided not to wear panties, the whole goal was to get with Nikki so why would you need them? Your skirt was tight enough anyway so you figured it would be fine. Right now, though, your only concern was Nikki and his garment now in your hand, shoved into your face as your eyes rolled back in euphoria.

Then, the door opened. Your neck snapped to the direction of the disturbance, your breath heavy and fast, your hand frozen on your swollen clit. It was Nikki, and he didn’t seem the least bit bothered by your presence.

You stared at him as he took a seat on the couch and poured himself a shot of Jack Daniels. He swallowed it quickly and poured another. “Well don’t stop.” He encouraged before downing the second shot.

You stayed put for a moment, unsure of what to do. When your mind finally caught up to what was happening you crawled over to him, situating yourself between his legs and looking up at him all wide eyed.

Nikki smiled down at you and placed his shot glass back down on the table before relaxing back into the couch. “You got yourself a backstage pass so you could sneak in here, huh?” He asked, sounding more proud than anything. “I saw you in the crowd, you know.” That caught your attention. “Shaking your ass for all those losers out there.”

“You saw me?” You asked, looking up at him with stars in your eyes.

Nikki chuckled and nodded. “Of course I did,” he said, one of his big hands cupping your cheek, “couldn’t keep my eyes off of you.” Your cheeks hurt with how you were smiling. Nikki’s thumb swept over your bottom lip before pushing into your mouth. “I’ve seen you before.” He said, pressing his thumb on your tongue. “At other shows, you follow us around don’t you?” You nodded and Nikki smirked. “Figured, that’s why I led you in here.” You paused.

“You led me in here?” You asked, pulling away slightly. Nikki nodded.

“Of course, when I kept seeing you dressed up it was pretty easy to tell what you wanted, when I saw you in the crowd tonight I decided to give you what you wanted.” His hand went to the back of your head, guiding you forward until your head was resting on his thigh. “Good girls deserve rewards.”

Your head bobbed up and down, taking his dick further down your throat. Nikki’s hand was still holding your head, fingers tangled in your hair as he pushed you down his length. His head fell back on the couch as he let out deep guttural groans.

He was twitching in your throat and his noises were getting louder. He started bucking his hips up and holding your head in a tighter grip to the point where he was fucking your face, using your mouth as a fleshlight. You were getting light headed and you were loving every moment of it.

Soon he was cumming down your throat, pushing your face into his crotch as his hips snapped up a few final times. You pulled away when he let you and took a few deep breaths, finally getting to breathe again.

Nikki laughed at you as you regained your breath. He grabbed your face in his hand, squishing your cheeks harshly. “Let me see.” He demanded. You opened your mouth to show him you swallowed it all and he gave your cheek an affirming pat. “Alright, you can go now.” He said as he relaxed back into the couch.

You were at a loss for words. All this time you waited for that? No way, you needed more, you deserved more. “But-but I was good.” You said, not moving from your spot on the floor between his spread legs.

Nikki looked down at you with a raised brow. “So? Plenty of good girls out there, what more do you want?” You bit your lip. He was right, there were so many other girls out there that wanted him just as much as you. Still, you weren’t gonna let this be all there was.

You stood up and got on his lap, holding his face in your hands and crashing your lips down on his. No matter what you did, how much you moaned or whined against him, if your tongue explored his mouth, he just didn’t care. You could feel him smiling into the kiss, it carried such a demeaning tone to it.

You ground yourself on his thigh, needy cunt craving any kind of friction. Still, no reaction from him. It was just like you weren’t even there.

Hot tears trickled down your cheeks, tainting the kiss with a saltiness. Nikki’s hand came up to your shoulders, pushing you away gently and you could see the genuine concern in his eyes as he wiped your tears. “Are you crying? Why are you crying?” He asked in such a sympathetic tone it caught you completely off guard. Just a moment ago he couldn’t care less about you, and before that he was using you as his own personal fucktoy.

You sniffled softly and Nikki pulled you tight to him, letting you hide your wet face in the crook of his neck. “Shh, shh, come on now, there’s no need to cry.” He whispered to you. “Pretty girls like you don’t need to be crying.” You sniffled again.

“You think I’m pretty..?” You muttered. He held your face in his hands again as he looked at you.

“Of course I think you’re pretty, only an idiot would think otherwise.” He kissed your forehead.

“But-” You spoke only to be cut-off.

“I don’t wanna hear it, tell me you’re pretty.” You stared at him blankly. “Say it. Say you’re pretty.” He repeated. You hesitated, was this a trick? Some kind of sick mind game?

“I-I’m pretty...” You mumbled. Nikki shook his head.

“Say it like you fucking mean it.” You didn’t say anything, still unsure of what was really happening. Nikki rolled his eyes and grabbed his half hard dick, pumping it a few times. “This is what you wanted, right? Wanted me to fuck you?” Your gaze fell to his pretty dick, all leaky and glistening from your saliva still. You gave a slow nod. “I’m gonna fuck that thought into you.” You were still confused but you understood that you were getting just what you’d always wanted.

Nikki ripped over your fishnets, tearing down your thighs before pushing into you. Your jaw dropped over in a silent moan as your eyes shut tight. All those nights you’d spent imagining what it would be like to have him inside you, nothing compared to this feeling.

He laid you down on the couch, your shirt had been tossed to the floor, leaving you fully exposed for Nikki to gawk at as he thrusted into you at a brutal pace, his thumb rubbing harsh circles against your clit. It had your mind running wild. “Fuck, Nikki! Nikki, ‘m close!” You moaned, back already arching off of the couch.

“Say you’re pretty.” He grunted. You looked up at him with a confused expression. “Say you’re pretty.” He repeated in a stern tone.

You let out a whine. “I-’m pretty.” You mumbled, hoping it would satisfy him.

He stopped and pulled out of you completely. Leaving your cunt fluttering for more. “If you don’t mean it you can’t cum.” He said in a degrading tone. “Tell me one thing that is pretty about you.” Your mind wasn’t working too fast but you still tried to come up with something while the bassist stared down at you. “Seriously? Not even one thing?” You sucked your bottom lip.

“I-I think I have pretty eyes..?” You said. Nikki rolled his eyes.

“Jesus, do you hate yourself?” You stared at him. “Say it again.”

“I... think I-”

“No!” Nikki stopped you. “Say one thing that’s pretty about you.”

Again you hesitated. “I have pretty eyes.” You said in an almost confident voice.

Nikki huffed. “We’re not leaving until you love yourself.” There was a determination in his eyes you’d never noticed before. Oftentimes when you’d see pictures of him with other girls he’d have a smirk or something but there was never this in his eyes. There was something special about you.

[starry-eyed-wild-child]

🌻 tate langdon boyfriend headcanons 🌻

tate langdon x reader

💜 oh lord, buckle up guys, you're in for a wild one

🧡 he definitely fell first and 100% harder and you can't tell me otherwise

💜 we all know how tate is, he's very clingy and he's very very possessive of what's his. and that's how he views you, you're his and nobody else's

🧡 would definitely stay hidden at first, just so he could watch you for a bit. at this point, there's nothing about you that tate doesn't know

💜 when you finally meet, tate swears he could die all over again and he'd die happy

🧡 tate would definitely act more innocent than he actually is. this boy knows how to cry on command and he will use it to his advantage, don't think just because he loves you that he wouldn't

💜 if anything, he does it because he loves you and he can't have you leave him like violet did

🧡 i hope you like nirvana, because tate will not listen to something that you like if he doesn't enjoy it. he's not very good at that

💜 tate always needs to be touching you. all the time. whether it's an arm around you or holding hands, this boy craves physical touch and to be the centre of your attention

🧡will probably try his best to get your friends to stop hanging around you so he can have you all to himself. will deliberately scare them to stop them from coming to the house

💜 would also certainly lie about ever doing such a thing were you to confront him about it

🧡 tate wouldn't ever want you to ever leave the house., if he had his way that is. would hate it if you chose to spend time with other people

💜 like what did they have that he didn't?

🧡 he would 100% be the type that watches you even when you're asleep. or anytime, really.

💜 would definitely want you to commit suicide, so that you can be with him forever. you of course find this idea insane and don't think he actually means it

🧡 he does. he's 100% serious

💜 i can imagine that tate gives really good hugs though. the warm, bear hugs that you never want to leave because they make you feel so secure and safe

🧡 is very big on comforting you after a bad day. he'll listen to your rants, let you cry in your arms, whatever you need him for and he'll do it

💜 let's be honest though, it's probably just another way he gains your trust so that you won't ever think of leaving him

🧡 feels extremely guilty if he ever hurt you in any way, or upset you

💜would probably just disappear for a few days because he can't face the fact that he's hurt you. but obviously he comes back because the boy can't help himself

🧡 tate is your ride or die. he would die for you all over again if you asked him to and alternatively would kill for you if that's what you required

💜 makes silly little handmade gifts for you. tate can't leave the house so he has time to be creative

🧡 it's even better if it's raining outside when he makes them, it sets a nice vibe

💜 loves, loves halloween. the two of you would carve pumpkins together and sit for hours in your room telling ghost stories and drinking apple cider

🧡 if tate had his own way, you'd never meet his mother

💜you do eventually and she probably hates you lmao, but do we really care let's be real here

🧡 tate is the kind of boyfriend that would make a playlist for you as a present

💜 he'd try his hardest to make sure you don't find out about his past. which lasted about 2 months max because you're not stupid

🧡 violet, vivien and moira would try and protect you at all costs. they're like your three guardian angels, whether they decide to show themselves to you or not

💜 i imagine you'd actually get on with violet really well

🧡 this could go one of two ways with tate. he'd love it, both girls he'd loved were getting along, makes his life easier. or, he'd hate it. hate that you choose to spend time with the girl that broke his heart

💜 isn't really big on nicknames tbh, he thinks your name is the most beautiful word he knows, and so he wouldn't dream of calling you anything else

🧡 tate is 100% the little spoon, don't fight me on this

💜 absolutely lives for your affection. he thrives best on it

🧡 would be sweet but low-key toxic, so solid 6/10

[atlas-coolbean]

The gang at an amusement park because I went to Calway park recently

Darry: Did his best to keep track of everyone but gave up eventually.

Went on the scariest rides possible and dragged pony along with him

Made sure everyone ate real food at least once throughout the day

He actually had a lot of fun

His favourite ride was the rollercoaster

Soda: Him and Steve are way too much junk food

Constantly tried to talk to the pretty girls he saw

Darry made him go on the swing ride and then he ditched Darry because he didn't want to do anything like that again

He loved the bumper cars

Pony: He loved the scary rides which is why he stuck with Darry the whole time

He was the one who begged to go to the amusement park in the first place

He did throw up once after a really spinny ride and Darry made him sit down for 10 minutes and drink water

He loved the Ferris wheel because he could see the landscape beyond

Dally: He didn't want to go in the first place but Johnny convinced him to go

He actually enjoyed himself once he realized he could "accidentally" knock over small children

He bought cotton candy but refused to share with anyone except Johnny

Bro refused to go on most of the rides because he thought they were stupid

He did go on the bumper cars because he could ram into children and also the gang convinced him he should do something other than just the rollercoasters

Two-bit: Went on almost every ride

He got like 4 corndogs

He had so much fun, he loves going to amusement parks

His favourite was the log ride

There was a maze and he got lost for like 15-20 minutes

Johnny: Was low-key scared of going on the Swings and Rollercoaster but ending up absolutely loving them

He stuck by someone's side the entire time, usually Pony or Dally

He liked the carousel the best but will never admit that. If asked he will say rollercoaster but they all know he's lying

Steve: He loved playing the carnival games and definitely won a few prizes and gave them to Soda

He made Soda walk through the haunted house with him so many times so that he could look at absolutely everything in there

He didn't want to ruin his hair going on any of the water rides but gave in eventually (his hair was ruined but he had fun)

[innerfare]

Beckman Fluff // Angst Compilation

Summary: A compilation of Beckman angst and fluff from my multi character posts (You're Wounded, Type of Date, Paradise, Nightmares, I Love You, Kisses, Cuddling, You're Sick).

Genre: Fluff // Angst

CW: None // SFW

———

You’re Wounded: 

Sees to your wound without a word, making sure it’s disinfected and bandaged and receives proper care until its healed. Places a soft, quiet kiss atop your head, doesn’t say a word. Makes a mental plan to avoid similar situations in the future. 

Type of Date: 

I know he doesn’t canonically own a motorcycle but I just really can see him having one and taking you out for a long, evening ride as a date (maybe a canonical equivalent would be him taking you out on the water, but we’re sticking with the motorcycle for now). You maybe end up on a cliffside sitting together on a picnic blanket, sharing a snack and something to drink. He might read to you, or you might just sit in comfortable silence with your head on his shoulder or his in your lap. Might also take you to a bookstore or small coffee shop he's been going to for ages. And wherever you go with Beckman, the two of you always end up watching the sunset together. 

Paradise 1: 

Climbing out of bed before dawn because neither of you can sleep, having a cup of coffee, and walking hand in hand down the beach, stopping to bend down and pick up rare seashells to add to the collection on the bookshelf in your bedroom, not talking much at all but simply admiring your shared bounty in the pale dawn light as the sun creeps over the horizon.   

Paradise 2: 

Waiting until late evening to meet beneath a peach tree, speaking at first in hushed tones, worrying someone is on to the two of you, eventually forgetting about all of that and settling into easy conversation about nothing and everything simultaneously, him jumping up to pick a peach for you to have as an evening snack, you taking advantage of the last bit of light to carve both of your initials into the tree trunk. 

Nightmares: 

You’re in the clutches of the marines. Beckman had a past before Shanks, a past that involved deserting the marines and going on the run from the World Government, and there’s a small part of him that never did overcome the fear of that past catching up to him. Worse still, he has a fear of that past catching up to you, and that fear comes to life in his dreams, when you’re thrown into Impel Down for his crimes and he’s forced to watch them dunk you in boiling water over and over again. He wakes with you asleep on his chest, the same as every night, and the skin to skin contact calms him down, but not enough for him to go back to sleep. 

I Love You: 

He’s always visiting you on your home island, either finding excuses to plot a course straight to you or sneaking away for a few days. It’s only as he’s leaving one evening that it strikes him: he loves you. It takes him a very long time to decide to tell you. Given his lifestyle, a relationship isn’t exactly easy, and he would be putting you in danger should anyone learn your association to him. Plus, he enjoys his freedom. He works it over in his head for months, to the point Shanks even asks him about what’s bothering him, though Beckman doesn’t fess up. But he just can’t get you out of his head. He can’t sleep, he can’t eat, he can’t even focus in a fight. One late night, he returns to his cabin to find Shanks waiting. His captain has puzzled out what has the first mate in such a state, and Shanks tells him to go take care of his business. Beckman agrees and turns up at your doorstep at three in the morning with some flowers he picked on the side of the road because he felt awkward showing up empty handed. You lead him into your kitchen and make him something to drink, thinking something horrible has happened, only for him to confess his love for you. He’s not shy about saying it after that, always making sure to tell you when he greets you and says goodbye, as well as several times in between. 

Kisses: 

Doesn’t kiss you in public (or show any affection in public, really). You’re the type of couple that nobody can tell is together. But when you’re behind closed doors, you’ll receive quite a few different types of kisses: the deep and sensual kisses that always lead to something more, the slow kisses down your neck when he’s tired but wants you so bad, the lingering kisses he places on either your cheek or hand when his mind is elsewhere, the sweet kisses on your forehead before he rolls out of bed in the morning. And when his mind is elsewhere, the best way to get him out of his head is to kiss up his biceps and across his broad shoulders. 

Cuddling: 

He’s not really one for PDA, and he’s not even particularly clingy behind closed doors, but he expects to be able to hold you every night. He has big arms and he puts them to good use, wrapping them around you in bed while the two of you talk about nothing and everything, Beckman taking the opportunity to get stuff off his chest that’s been bothering him. 

You’re Sick: 

The type to hold you through it. He can’t do much more, he knows that, so he focuses on what he can control, such as making you feel safe and warm (and ensuring you don’t try to get out of bed before you’re ready). He starts feeling a little under the weather himself after a while, but he doesn’t tell you that, wanting you to focus on your own health. 

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[l0v3tast3]

do you think we could get the 141 bois with a military!reader who had a guard/attack dog with them, and went out on missions with reader, and the dog got KIA’d, and reader is taking it harshly, because they grew attached to said dog?

My dog recently passed away and I kinda just.. need some 141 bois.

🥃-

✎ i'm so sorry to hear that honey :( losing an animal is a horrible pain and i hope you're doing okay!!

✎ tags : gender neutral!reader, angst but i tried to keep it vague, otherwise pretty much just platonic fluff, not proofread

♡ to put it mildly, the 141 guys thought you were a bit weird when you first joined, along with your dog. you spent more time with the animal than you did with humans, training, doting, just generally being in the same space.

♡ eventually the team came to understand your bond together, and who doesn't love dogs? while it was always yours, it also kind of became the team's dog.

♡ so when price had to haul you over his shoulder while you screamed at him to let you go, to let you back in that ruined building, they all felt it. they felt it the entire way back to base, the absence of the waging tail and you cooing at it on the entire helicopter ride back.

♡ you try to pretend like you're doing okay for a couple of days afterward. brief smiles that didn't fit right on your sunken face, exchanging polite greetings that sounded so dull. they walk on eggshells, always unsure of what to say to help you.

♡ they wait for you to break, and when you finally do, they send kyle in first. they figure he has the best shot of conveying their empathy to you (he's just as awkward as the rest of them, he just volunteered himself to try to help you first because they were all just staring at each other when soap brought it up).

♡ he brings you a case of bottles of your favorite drink and snacks, dropping them on your desk before sitting next to you on your bed. he asks you faintly if you want to talk about it.

♡ he lets you get it out, lets you cry and rant and whatever you need in that moment while he sits with you. when your tears finally run dry and the weight in your chest doesn't feel as empty, kyle gives you a hug and rubs your back for a few moments.

♡ the other three men are waiting when he comes out, and kyle shrugs and says he thinks he helped. soap snorted and asked him "what's that mean?" and kyle explains briefly what happened.

♡ they manage to coax you out of your room the next day. ghost and price were somewhere else on the base, and kyle had taken over soap's attempt at cooking eggs (i sincerely believe soap can only cook well enough to keep himself alive while kyle is actually pretty good). they sit you down and make you eat. soap takes the credit for the eggs even though you obviously saw kyle finishing them, and it makes you laugh a bit.

♡ they drag you to sparring practice, despite your many, many protests. you find that that's where ghost and price have been. they put you up against ghost first, and you're convinced that they're trying to make you more depressed now.

♡ as soon as he's coming at you, you're in "soldier mode" again and just focus on trying not to land on your ass too hard when he throws you down. usually you're a good sport and always shake hands after the rounds, but frustration was bubbling up quick today with every time you got pinned. you found yourself putting more and more into it, until you were actually fighting, clawing, biting, doing whatever you could. ghost let you and he took it easily. it was exactly what he would have needed if he were in your position; he still didn't just let you win, though.

♡ soap doesn't really know how to help you in a big way, so he just makes sure the little things are taken care of. he helps you clean your weapons and makes sure kyle buys the right drinks for you when he sends him out even though kyle knows what to get. he sticks around you but doesn't make it seem like you're on suicide watch or anything, just that you don't have to be alone for too long. he makes sure you eat, and you always answer "yes" because you don't even want him to offer to cook for you.

♡ it takes a couple of months before you're almost back to your normal self. there's always something missing, and you still reach down to your side on instinct, but the pit in your stomach stops opening quite as wide. you learn how to remember the happy memories again.

♡ when you're ready and if you feel like it, price is the one that takes you to start looking for a new furry friend. you know everything there is to know about dogs, and he knows you know it all, but you still get lectured about what to look for and what to avoid and not to get too close in case they try to bite. basically, he just becomes your father.

♡ "not that one, 's lookin' at me funny," he'll say once you start looking at them. "that one won't even make it through the heli ride!" basically, he thinks none of the dogs here are good enough for you, even though they're all wonderful in their own ways. he almost walks away when you kneel down and start giving scratches to a pomeranian that hadn't stopped yipping since you'd walked in.

♡ while they may all be emotionally-stunted men, they know what loss is like. they'll be there for you in the ways that matter.

[kedsandtubesocks]

you, my golden hour

Rancher!Javier Peña x Cowgirl!Reader

summary: 1997. as a fallen rodeo star, you can handle anything - except maybe your city’s hometown hero

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, Post Season 3 Javi works on his family’s ranch AU, unspecified age gap (only age mention is reader can drink and Javi is older), major pining & yearning, emotional hurt & comfort, light angst with tender fluff, reader has a backstory and family, no physical description of reader but gendered language is used and reader can ride a horse, use of pet/nicknames, mention/description of rodeo accident, themes of dealing with burnout, small texas town toxicity, light Spanish use, reader & javi having insecurities they bond/heal over, bar scene with alcohol consumption, spicy moments with allusions to smut, intense makeout where Javi gets handsy, soft!Javi, dreamy & protective!Javi

word count: 10.2k (I’m sorry)

a/n: the second installment of ‘let’s rodeo’ and my love letter to Javi & Texas, the heart of this series - this fic is near & dear to me and I just appreciate getting the chance to write this, so to @lowlights @ahauntedcowboy & @perotovar for giving me the courage to post this know I’m so grateful… and to you reading this thank you, so dearly appreciate you too ♡

You haven’t thought of Javier Peña in years.

Older than you, he was handsome and had a smile that rivaled the Texas Friday night lights. He eventually hooked up with the number one town sweetheart who was even rumored to have won a local state beauty contest.

By the time you heard of their engagement, you already had started your plans for the circuits, for the road. You didn’t mourn or even feel heartbroken over the news.

Even after that, the rodeo consumed you. It kept you in a tornado like whirl for years until that fateful day it spat you out.

When that ride stopped, Javier Peña came back into your mind with a strange fog-like entrance.

While still on bed rest, the news on the TV had been showing a small special on the War on Drugs and the lull of it filled the room.

Your grandmother was the one who brought him up.

“That’s what Chucho’s son is involved in.”

“Wait, Javier Peña’s into drugs?” You asked a bit confused even without the pain killers.

“No. He’s going after the people who sell drugs.” She clarified.

Oh.

“He also didn’t get married either. Do you remember?” She had added.

You did. You heard he left the little Miss Homecoming Queen at the altar. Quite a scandal that made him the talk of the town for a while.

Then he became a big shot drug enforcer who took down one of the largest drug cartels in history and he again became the talk of the town.

It’s been a few years since your accident and now Javier Peña is back home.

Now driving into the Peña ranch you feel both so young, yet so aged at the same time, like you’re stuck between two realities.

Your sister bounces out of the truck with uncontainable glee and you’re grateful she’s excited.

Chucho Peña comes to greet everyone. His classic cream cowboy hat and gentle smile are all a beautiful welcome. It’s also adorable seeing your grandpa reunite with his old friend.

Señor Peña’s kind eyes eventually land on you with a sweet twinkle.

“It’s good to see you, mija.”

You’ve always adored Chucho Peña.

His son on the other hand…

You never knew Javier enough to fully know him. Even with his dad and your grandpa being pals, the years between you and Javier didn’t help. He existed outside your orbit, a figure almost out of reach.

“And that son of yours!?” Your grandpa of course perks up asking about him.

“Ah sí Javi’s here, just out in the stables.” Chucho explains casually.

The last time you physically saw Javier Peña he was walking out of the bank. You’d been waiting in your family truck when he stepped out. By that point, a small bit of shadow was forming against his jaw and upper lip as his facial hair began to grow thick. He was a young man on the verge of stepping into the threshold of being grown.

Now before you he’s a fully grown man.

For a minute you think the man in the barn is someone else because it doesn’t seem like Javier.

Yet when he turns, you see his eyes.

Rich soil of the earth stunning eyes and you know it’s him.

His body has filled out and his shoulders even look broader. He sports a similar mustache like his father’s and it adds to his older appearance. There’s a weathered weariness on his face evident in the wrinkles carved out by his eyes and on his forehead.

The button up shirt he’s wearing allows a peek at his chest and his skin shines with sweat from the Texas sun already shining its warmth.

He’s breathtakingly stunning and you can’t take your eyes off him.

He warmly greets your grandpa with a wide smile that touches his eyes and brightens his face. He’s still that charming young man you saw, a brilliant comet out of your galaxy.

But then his gaze lands on you and his eyes narrow. A conflicting recognition and confusion swirl in his eyes. He knows you, seems to remember you, but not fully.

His dad clarifies your name and you deflate a bit. Then Javier’s eyes go wide and his eyebrows shoot into his hairline.

So, he does remember you.

“Oh, yeah. Good to see you.” He nods fully realizing who you are.

“Guess the horse must be for you then?” Javier adds and your heart sinks a bit.

A grimace tugs on your face but you try recovering quickly.

“No mijo,” Chucho thankfully answers quick and gentle. “I told you, it’s for her hermanita.”

You grin small and tight in agreement.

“Oh…yeah of course.” He nods.

Your little sister immediately jumps in bright and eager to share her excitement. Thankfully the focus effortlessly shifts to her and the reason why you’re all here.

The horse is beautiful, playful and eager for attention. This first meeting already feels good. Of course, everyone holds their breaths when your sister goes for the ride.

And it couldn’t have gone more smoothly.

You even exhale relieved.

“You seemed nervous.” A smooth warm voice comes out besides you.

As you lean against the ring’s fence you discover Javier Peña moving to rest beside you.

“Just like the first day of school kinda nerves. Want to make sure everything goes smoothly.” You answer as your sister effortlessly trots around the ring with ease.

“Yeah, I bet. They already seem to be clicking.” Javier notes genuine and you’re grateful too.

Your grandfather now calls out to you.

Both you and Javier turn towards where the older men stand close to each other like conspiring headaches.

“To celebrate, we’re having dinner here!” Your grandpa cheers happily and a dread drop kicks your heart.

Immediately you stammer out panicked about how you all can’t impose.

“No pasa nada, mija.” Senor Peña gently reassures you saying not to worry. “Besides, you’re all more than welcome here. It’s been a while since Javi and I had guests.”

You don’t miss the unashamed hum Javier makes.

“And grandma?” You reply, trying to reach for more excuses not to stay.

“She can walk.” Your sister teases suddenly and you give her a sharp look.

“Will you go pick her up, please?” Your grandpa gives you his best pleading face before simply throwing the truck keys to you

Stubborn old man.

“Hijo,” Señor Peña calls out again, but this time to his son. “You should go too.”

Shit.

“No Pop, it’s okay!” Javi politely declines and you want to second that.

“Aye,” His dad chides and then he pointedly gives Javier a look that screams - Don’t be rude, go with her.

Damn.

The walk to the truck is quiet, awkward as hell, feels like two parents shoving their kids together to play nice.

Heading into the main part of town, silence fills most of the drive. You're also mentally kicking yourself for not getting the radio fixed last week like you should’ve.

“So uh, your grandma…still volunteering at the women’s shelter?” Until Javier offers a small branch of conversation.

“Yup.” You nod.

“Oh good, that’s good.” He replies.

But silence returns.

“So, you taking a break from the rodeo then? Pop used to tell me about you all the time.” Javier comments light, casual.

You feel like a cat with its hairs standing up. But even with that sensation, knowing Señor Peña spoke so fondly of you does simmer the sting.

“Sort of.” You decide to rip this off like a bandaid, get it over with now. “Had a bad accident a while back. Still haven’t decided if I wanna return.”

It’s been two years since you’ve been home.

“Oh…” Javier’s voice drops, the same way everyone does when you tell them.

“I’m sorry.” Except you’re surprise at how sincerely soft his voice is. “I thought I heard something about it. I should’ve fucking remembered… Sorry.”

He apologizes again, surprising you once more as genuine repentance floats off his voice.

You thank him understandingly. After all, it's one of the better responses you’ve been given. But you don’t want to dig into this, especially with him, so you quickly change the conversation.

“So how long are you here for? I’m sure there must be other drug cartels waiting for you to take them down.” You offer casual.

Not only had he taken down Pablo Escobar a while back, you briefly heard of his very recent grand move against the other cartel in Columbia.

He’s impressive, the town’s hero and golden boy.

“Uh actually, I’m retired. Gonna take a step back for a bit.” Javier answers just as polite and calm as you had answered him.

Oh. You hadn’t heard that. Or maybe you did and forgot.

You now feel like the foolish one and genuinely congratulate him.

“It takes a lot to decide when to step away. Besides, you deserve a break after all you did.” You mean those words.

After all, they were the same comforting words his father told you when you came back home.

A pause fills the truck and you worry you’ve maybe overstepped.

“I…yeah.” Javier breathes out. “Thanks. Appreciate that.”

Your heart flutters at how small and genuine he sounds.

“So…how about them Dallas Cowboys, huh?” Javier offers light and for some reason you laugh.

It’s not much, but it feels like a lifeline.

When you arrive to pick up your grandmother she gasps so giddy when she sees the surprise guest with you. Her excitement lights up the drive while she talks about her day taking full advantage of having Javier listening to her.

“Oh I’m so glad you’re back home safe Javi!” She gushes and then says your name.

You’re already panicking.

“With so many of your friends living out of town, maybe you’ll get to spend more time back in the city with Javier!?” She offers to you brightly and absolute horror seizes your heart.

Shooting a petrified face at her you silently plead for this discussion to die.

Javier in the back seat weakly laughs. Because of course Javier, ever the gentleman, had your grams sitting up front.

“Oh don’t give me that look.” Your grandma playfully teases back at you. “At least go rent a movie with him.”

The thought crosses your mind about turning around and dropping her back off.

“Did you know,” Javier innocently jumps in. “The first ever blockbuster was opened in Dallas?”

Your grandma coos in awe as if he’s just explained a miracle.

“See! Now you have to go with him to one!” She urges.

A horrified indignant noise escapes you. While behind you, Javier snickers even more and you’re tempted to drop him off on the side of the road to let the coyotes feast on him.

The minute you arrive at the Peña’s home you can’t get out of the truck fast enough.

Dinner fortunately goes smooth and you’re surprised at how eased the rest of the time unfolds. You do hate how many times your eyes flicker towards Javier like if you’re still trying to soak him in.

Then, from across the table, Javier’s gaze flickers to you fast catching you staring red handed. Your heart transforms into a jackrabbit, petrified and thumping fast, almost making you flee right then and there.

Until your grandpa addresses you. His warm eyes dance with a surprise in his gaze.

“We’ve decided to have some of your sister's training here.”

Your heart now skips over itself.

Your gramps and sister both explain the plan hatched while you were on the road. In order to get used to competing in different spaces, your sister decided to train here at the Peña’s.

You’re hesitant, but understand the logic. You’re even impressed. But you can’t pinpoint why you’re so nervous about this.

Señor Peña now calls to you, sensing your hesitation, and tenderly grins.

“Don’t worry mija,” his kind eyes crinkle with understanding. “It’s no trouble at all.”

His reassurance is grace and you smile back relieved while thanking him deeply.

“Seems like you’re the boss here.” Javier suddenly joins in with a casual tone and you freeze.

“Well yeah, that’s my coach you’re talking to.” Your sister proudly declares.

“Coach?” Javier’s voice perks up curious.

“Yeah.” You answer with a small smile. “That’s me.”

“Been barking orders at me all these years so why not put her in charge.” Your sister innocently adds and in pure sobbing annoyance you want to shove her face into her plate.

Thankfully everyone laughs, illuminating the room.

But you’re faced with a new reality. You’re going to be here more, seeing Javier Peña more.

And you don’t know how you feel about that yet.

-

The Peña ranch in the morning sits tranquil and the peace gives you the focus on training.

You’re surprised at how good your sister and the mare already bond. You explain a few drills and have your sister run a few repetitions of them.

“You sound like a tough one.” Javier’s voice surprises you and you almost jump over the fence.

Glancing back, he approaches you with two thermoses.

“Pop and I thought you might need an extra pick me up.” He offers and you can’t help but greedily grab at it.

“Tell your dad thanks and that he’s a saint.”

Javier snorts at your reply.

Now your focus returns to your sister. You recommend a type of turning drill vividly remember doing yourself. Your sister playfully salutes you and begins.

“How she looking, coach?” Him calling you ‘coach’ draws a dangerous electricity that snaps up your spine.

“Don’t call me coach.” You dryly tell him trying to keep yourself composed.

“Well isn’t that what you are?” He teases casually.

Your face scrunches up annoyed while his eyes crinkle amused.

“Don’t you have things to do, Javier Peña?” You sigh, already exhausted of this man.

“Javi…you can just call me Javi, coach.”

You’re tempted to childishly scoot away from him. Younger you would have never imagined he was this annoying.

“Don’t call me coach.” You dully repeat.

“Okay, coach.”

Now you contemplate just shoving him away.

But all the annoyance washes away when commotion hits. The horse makes a disgruntled whinny and immediately both you and Javier whip your attention towards the ring. Your sister calmly stays on the saddle, gently soothing down her companion.

After asking if she’s good, her eased thumbs up reassures you. She does a few trots to calm everyone down. You even exhale relieved.

“You lost in thought?” Javier comments.

“Yeah.” You answer him with a mutter. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

You almost don’t tell him. But you surprise yourself and do.

You explain the type of pace that comes with training in barrel racing. There’s a pattern and method to it all. You don’t realize you’ve rambled until you blink and realize Javier stares so directly at you. His eyebrows furrow slightly as if he’s focused hard listening to your words.

Embarrassed, you’re about to stammer out an apology when Javier whistles low.

“You know your fucking shit.” He nods appreciatively and hearing his pride ignites something dangerous in your chest.

Another surprise sharp whistle comes. Out from the barn, a further ways away, Chucho stands staring out. He even waves at you and you wave back.

“You gonna work today, hijo?” He calls out.

Javier curses under his breath.

“Busted.” You joke and now he’s the one side eying you.

“Please you’re the one slacking off here!” Your baby sister suddenly complains loud and cheeky “You’re not getting paid by the hour, coach!”

“Guess we’re both in trouble.” Javier snickers.

You roll your eyes but quickly sneer at your smiling sister.

“Alright then. See ya later…bandita.” Javier already walks away by the time you hear his goodbye.

But it hits you.

He thankfully stopped calling you coach. But now, what replaced it…

Little Bandit.

The nickname rips through you with a barbed fierceness you’re not prepared for.

The rest of the month follows this same routine.

On training days Javier shows up with something for you to drink. Once he even came with a few goods from the bakery across town.

No matter what, he watches practice with you for as long as he can before getting called back to the ranch.

During these moments together, he asks about how the turns are made or why you correct your sister when you do. It’s friendly. You actually start enjoying his company especially when your grandfather so eagerly leaves to hang out with Chucho instead.

The greetings and thanks are always the same.

“Thanks, Peña.”

“Javi,” he patiently corrects you everytime.

You can’t bring yourself to call him that just yet.

At the start of the new month everyone sleeps in and arrives later to the Peña’s ranch.

This time you’ve brought more barrels. Thankfully you can move them with the help of your sister. Suddenly besides you, boots clamor onto the truck and rapidly you snap your attention to the source of the sound.

Javier Peña smoothly climbs up to help you with the rest of the barrels.

He’s in a striking soft purple button up shirt. Sweat already shines against his bare arms. Thick worn in working gloves cover his hands. His hair seems a bit curlier today and he wears aviator sunglasses that suit his face.

Effortlessly Javier grabs onto one and lifts it by himself.

You’re stunned. Even your sister stops and stares just as surprised.

Javier is strong. Doesn’t seem like the muscular type but he’s built and radiates a type of seasoned strength of a well grown man, a rancher man.

His arms firmly hold the barrel, sturdy and toned, and you can’t look away.

“Where d’ya want me to put it?” Javier yells and you trip out of your thoughts to dumbly point where the barrel needs to be placed.

Your grandfather whistles proudly seeing Javier.

“If this rancher thing doesn’t work out for you Jav, you got the makings of a fine rodeo man.” Your grandpa teases.

Javier chuckles, with his eyes averted a bit bashful.

“Could add him to the team.” Your grandpa notes with a twinkling gleam of something mischievous.

You reply a dry no as you move to get off the truck.

In a flash, Javier jogs over and immediately reaches his hand out to help you get down. Placing your hand in his, Javier helps you down and you thank him.

He’s wearing gloves. This shouldn’t feel so significant. Yet the way he firmly holds your hand makes your heart sprout wings.

Even back on the solid dirt ground your legs don’t feel as if they’re under you.

Javier doesn’t stick around after that and you’re allowed to focus.

It’s later in the day, later than the usual practice times, and the Texas sun beats down with a fierceness. You call for more water breaks to keep everyone hydrated.

During a break, a rustling catches your attention. There towards the barn, Javi moves in and around the place.

You just catch the smallest glimpse of him with a hammer in his hand as he heads into the smaller enclosure. Curiosity gets the best of you.

Grabbing another water bottle you justify it as wanting to be polite, but curiosity gnaws at you.

The clang of hammering approaches louder and louder until you spot him in a goat pen. He hammers in a reinforced slab, probably fixing a hole. His back to you allows a glorious full sight of his broad shoulders at work.

He even switches to a drill and watching him casually use power tools, you never thought you’d find this so attractive.

One of the goats nearby makes a blep of a noise at your appearance and you almost want to shush them.

Javier glances over his shoulders spotting you.

“Hey there, bandita. Qué pasó?” he nods at you as the nickname flares up your heart.

“Just…knew how hot it was getting and gramps told me just to check up on you.” You lie waving the water bottle.

Javier turns to face you and you’re greeted with the sight of his full sweaty glory. You should be turned off seeing how bad his shirt sticks to him, how he smells of hay and dirt, but it’s incredibly hot.

The hard work of his day evident on every inch of him brews a dark cloud of desire in you.

“Oh well, tell your gramps thanks.” He replies snagging the water bottle from you.

His plus lips, the glorious sight of his thick slick neck, and the movement of the sweat just covering him as he drinks from the water bottle…

Getting this weak over the sight of him just drinking a water bottler you now think is the lowest you can go. You wonder about walking down by the river nearby and just jumping in to cool down.

From a distance, your sister yells out for you.

“Duty calls.” Javier smirks. With a sheepish smile you shrug then wave a quick goodbye.

You practically run out of that barn like a fleeing field mouse.

Later that night, alone in your room, your fingers slip under your sheets to slide under your sleep shorts. You imagine licking the sweat off Javier’s neck, picture his thick strong fingers, that fix up barns, hoist up barrels, and wonder how thick they would feel inside you.

You fall into desire’s blissful sticky release.

When you shower the next morning, you rationalize that those thoughts of Javier simply come from needing to scratch an itch.

Besides, you couldn’t get tangled with Javier. He’s older. He’s Laredo’s golden boy. He doesn’t go after broken cowgirls like you.

In the shower you turn the heat up more. A part of you hopes it will scorch off the building desire in your heart.

-

The morning is muggy, a soupy cloudy early day begging you to curl back into bed. Soft chirping echoes of the mockingbirds fill the air. You opted for earlier practices this week so your sister could prepare for a trip with her friends coming up. You agreed, wanting her to still enjoy moments outside of this.

“You out here all alone, bandita?” Javier.

He breaks the morning’s stillness. Holding his routine two drinks, he approaches you bundled up in a nice jacket that flatters him.

Thanking him, you greedily grab the drink and savor its warmth.

You explain that your sister is free roaming around the ranch this morning and it’s why you’re all alone. You stare at the empty riding area where the dirt sits holy and untouched.

“Do you miss it?” Javier asks. His voice is quietly probing, gentle as the morning mist.

That question holds a million answers all tied up in a messy knot.

“Sometimes.” You answer truthfully because you did. You missed the adrenaline, the wind blowing past you, speeding around a barrel so fast it was like you were out running the wind.

“Can I ask…” Javier and his soft, kind voice presses on. “What happened?”

Might as well. You’re now sort of friends with Javier even though the word feels sticky in your heart.

“You know that saying about how you just gotta get back on the horse? Well it's easier said than done.” You mutter.

It happened during a ride in Arizona. You’ve fallen and wrecked before. But this one just felt different. You took a barrel close and then everything slipped away. You remember being on the saddle, remember feeling your body float. Then the world went dark.

You woke up to a nasty concussion, a broken arm, and a couple of rowdy scrapes. You don’t remember your foot getting caught in the stirrup, but that’s what had happened.

“Holy fuck...” Javier breathes out, the weight of your words hang in his. “Shit I’m sorry.”

You thank him earnestly and reassure him it’s fine, just unfortunate shit like that happens. Everyone knew how dangerous the sport could get. The rodeo was a rough ride and every cowboy knew that.

But for you, you just couldn’t shake it off.

“I’m glad you made it out.” Sincerity blooms in his voice and your lips tug grateful at how considerate he is as you thank him again.

“You haven’t gone back?” Now he dances on a tight line.

“Nope. I tried after getting the clearance from the doctors but… it just didn’t go well.” You truthfully tell him.

You didn’t want to ride anymore, didn’t want to face everyone or the pressure of the race or the terror swallowing you whole. It felt as if you were burnt dry and exhausted from the inside out.

Your grandma gently embraced you and held you for what felt like hours.

“Then don’t go. You don’t have to do anything that makes you this worried and sick. Nothing is worth you being this scared, not even the damn rodeo.” She told you tenderly and with the most profoundly kind smile. You cried out of relief.

“It’s brave,” Javier says so firmly understanding. “Making a decision like that is really fucking brave, hard as fuck too.”

You gently grin and thank him again while blinking away a few tears.

“Same goes for you too.” You tell him.

From your gramps, who had gotten the full story from Chucho, you learned more about what happened with Javier and his final days in Columbia.

“I don’t know much but, what you did was brave too.” Your voice comes out softer than you expected.

He barks a laugh now. It’s dry, bitter, and can catch fire.

“Doesn't feel like it.”

You understand maybe more than he even knows. So you think about maybe what you would’ve told yourself.

“You did what was right.” You begin. “Everyone else might judge you or say shit but it doesn't matter. You’re not meant to please everyone or do what everyone expects you to do. And if that’s seen as a bad thing then…I don’t know, fuck them and fuck that.”

You say it so simply Javier busts out laughing. It’s a true blue laugh, so sweet it crinkles his beautiful dirt road eyes.

You’ve never seen him laugh like this before. And he’s beautiful.

You join in snickering as well but try to ignore the butterflies suddenly nesting in your stomach.

He’s really such a dream. A carved out Texas man so seasoned from the world, yet he still stays so kind and devoted to his family.

You get why many in the town, especially the girls during your time in high school, are all over him. Now you’re afraid you might’ve fallen into the same pit traps they did.

You’re falling under the spell of Javier Peña.

“So you’re really not going back to catching drug dealers and what not?” You ask when the laughter settles.

“I could’ve.” Javi answers. “Damn DEA would’ve taken me back. But…I just couldn’t see a future with it anymore.”

“And now here I am.” He says with a boyish soft grin.

“Now here you are”. You repeat with a nod.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here.” You truthfully tell him. You knew his dad worried about him. But the quiet truth is that you’re grateful for this time getting to know him now.

His eyes soften and your heat bursts.

“Thanks, glad I’m here. Glad you’re here too, bandita.” Then he softly nudges you. It’s playfully, friendly but it’s his words that almost take you out by the knees.

“Anyway, the government’s dumb. They don't deserve you.” You nod and Javier snorts amused.

“Guess I should listen to a cowgirl like you.” He teases.

You shrug. “Some people say I’m not one anymore.”

Especially because you didn’t ride anymore.

“Fuck them and fuck that.” He repeats your words and your lips twitch with a bubbling giggle.

Right now, it feels like you and him are two lonely birds sitting on a wire. Yet there’s something comforting about it, knowing it’s with him.

Then it dawns on you. You enjoy spending time with him. You know there’s desire already trickling in for him. But now he’s becoming someone precious to you.

You can’t even deny that anymore.

“Thanks, Javi.”

You don’t miss the way his eyebrows shoot up high.

Thunder roars suddenly clashing into the air interrupting the moment.

The dark clouds now loom on the horizon and coat the morning in an impending murkiness.

“Guess a storm’s coming in.” Javi mumbles.

Thankfully your sister rides back in quick and Javi decides to do some final things around the ranch before the storm rolls in. Before the rain comes, you and your sister pack up quickly. But it’s too late.

The rain pours down in a blink, almost like a hole in the sky popped to let a faucet drain out. The wind even picks up dangerously quick. It’s chaotic trying to wrangle the hose back to the stables but you and your sister manage.

“Come inside!” Gramps yells from the Peña’s porch and you and your sister scurry to the shaded sanctuary.

“You coming in?” Your sister asks while drying herself off with a towel. You don’t move from your spot by the steps.

“I’ll be in a bit.” You reassure her. She glares suspiciously and you shoo her away.

Javi hasn’t come back yet.

Noises clang out from the barn. A poisonous worry erupts through you and immediately you rush back out into the rain.

Inside the barn Javi tries yanking up a barn ladder that’s fallen over. It’s sturdy, wooden, and stuck in a hard position.

You move to help. Without any words or having to explain anything you both, as a team, work to yank the ladder out. Patiently and slowly the ladder gets moved to a spot the wind won’t knock it over.

The rush of it all has you breathing heavy.

“Thanks bandita.”

You breathlessly laugh and turn to maybe make a joke about now becoming a ranch hand and stealing his job. But all words, all thoughts, die instantly.

Having to work together to push the ladder, you now notice how close you are to him.

The sight of Javi soaked to the bone from the rain is corruptible. His clothes stick to him showing off his thick frame and shoulders. His drenched hair now seems darker with the curls more pounced.

He’s also heavily breathing too.

Now his lips, how soft and wet they look, have you hypnotized.

The pattering rain pours down hard on the roof, the only noise in the barn. You notice a shift in Javier. His eyes ever so slightly soften, almost hazing over. You might just be imaging it, but his face gradually seems to lean closer. Or maybe, you’re the one leaning towards him.

You’re possessed with an ache to kiss him, to see how the rain tastes on his lips.

It’s just you and him, soaked to the bone. You probably look like a drenched mess of a creature, but you’ve never wanted someone this much.

“Aye!”

Chucho suddenly shouts out from outside the barn and your heart stops.

Like a skittish roadrunner, you scramble away fast from Javier and just in time. His dad walks in from the other side of the barn holding an umbrella with an extra in his hand.

“You kids okay?” He calls out.

Both you and Javi yell back, quickly moving towards the elder Peña.

“You two look like a couple of soaked barn cats.” Chucho teases.

You weakly laugh and thank him for the umbrella.

Javi grumbles at his dad while he grabs the umbrella to open it up. Ever chivalrous, Javier holds it above you and him. Yet the entire walk to the house is quiet.

Fuck. Did you ruin this tentative whatever was forming between you and him? Or were you just imagining things?

You stay quiet the rest of the time waiting out the storm.

“You okay?” Your sister, keen as always, notices.

You lie with a smile saying the weather’s getting to you. When in reality, it’s a man that has.

Because you can’t stop thinking about Javier Peña now.

-

The rain stays for the rest of the week and everyone takes the schedule changes with stride. Your sister even heads out earlier on her trip earlier during a lighter drizzle.

By Saturday night the storm settles down.

Your closest friend from high school, now back in town for the month, even calls your home phone begging you to take advantage of the better weather.

“Look, before I go back to Florida let’s enjoy a nice night out, yeah? Maybe play some pool?” She pleads.

It’s how you now find yourself at the bar. You haven’t gotten dressed up in a while and you’re reminded of how nice it feels.

As much as you jokingly fussed about going out, being with your best friend laughing at the bar is lovely.

Ricky, one of the bartenders, actually was in the same grade as you two and it’s nice reminiscing, snickering over a nice drink.

“So how’s it been hanging out with Mr. Hero of the town himself?” Your friend smirks.

You make an unamused face at her while Ricky perks up.

“Wait, who are you hanging out with?” He whispers excitedly.

“Javier Peña.” Excitedly, she spills and you roll your eyes when Ricky gasps.

“You’ve fallen for the guy half the county is in love with!?” He hisses. You hate it, but it’s true and tastes soberly cold.

“Okay but practically all of our class was and maybe still is in love with him.” Your best friend adds.

“Well y’all do remember, he left Lorraine Wilson at the altar right?” Ricky reminds everyone and your mouth turns acidic.

“Oh fuck you’re right.” Your friend whispers.

“Might be bad news.” Ricky tensely tells you.

You want to hiss that he’s not like that. He’s kind, a bit annoying, but with a good heart.

“Shit, speak of the devil and he shall appear.” Ricky says in a low awed tone.

Worried you whip around to see what caught his attention. Absolute horror drowns you.

Javi and another man step into the bar and you want to run.

Your best friend squeals excited beside you, but you can’t comprehend what she says. Javier has stolen your attention.

Ricky called him the devil and he does seem like an angel dipped in temptation.

The sleek blazer he wears is dressed down by his nice button up shirt and jeans. His hair is styled nice, seeming so soft and begging for someone’s fingers to run through it. A buzz swarms in your head seeing him outside the ranch looking this gorgeous.

That’s when he spots you. For a split moment you two see each other. His eyes widen and before anyone can react you whip back towards the bar.

“Looks like you’re about to fall outta your seat.” Ricky snickers and you death glare at him.

“Okay,” your friend nudges you. “The guy he’s with, I think that’s David Martinez. He was in Peña’s class right? He’s so hot now, what the fuck?” She breathes out.

You almost toast to that because you felt the same about Javier.

So you keep your head down, enjoy your drink and maybe wonder about suggesting that game of pool your best friend advertised.

“Would you two beauties be alright with a bit of company?” A sweet male voice comes out and immediately draws the attention to him.

Behind you stands Javier Peña and his friend.

David has always been kind to your family and his mom even worked with your grandma at the shelter. You appreciate that Javi still hangs out with him.

“Yes of course. We’d love some company, right?” Your friend brightly asks you and you smile polite.

Your heart however rages like it’s a wild bucking bronco trying to break free.

The guys buy a round of drinks. Everyone laughs reminiscing about that one famous senior prank where the class managed to get two cows into the school.

The atmosphere is friendly, light. But your eyes constantly flicker nervously to Javi. You can’t stop staring at him, can’t stop thinking about him. Now here he is a Texas dream, or maybe your nightmare.

You turn back to take another sip and in that shift, your best friend turns to direct all her attention to David who moves to sit beside her.

But now Javier smoothly slides into the barstool next to you.

“Nice to see you outside the ranch.” His voice comes out smooth and rich.

You agree. But the air turns awkward, as if neither of you know how to tackle this new situation.

Suddenly heels clicking fast arrive. Standing to the side is a girl you recognize from your sister’s class that just graduated high school.

“Hi,” she smiles, staring at Javi with obvious hearts in her eyes.

He politely but cautiously greets her back.

“I was, um, wondering if you wanted to maybe dance with me?” She’s bold. You can at least appreciate that.

“My friends all dared me to ask you since it’s, ya know, you.” She gushes and giggles.

“Uh, appreciate the thought but I’ll have to pass, sorry.” He turns her down gently.

As if she finally realizes you even existed her eyes blink to you.

“Oh hey!” She recognizes you as an older sister to one of her classmates. And then for something else.

“Yeah didn’t you like, used to be a rodeo cowgirl or something and then something happened so now you’re not doing anything anymore?”

She’s being underlyingly mean. Her misleading chipper tone, vapid smile, are all soaked in venom meant to shake you or even scare Javi away from you.

But you’re used to it by now. You’re about to comment how she shouldn’t even be here.

Javier however speaks first and fast.

“Hey,” Javier’s voice jumps shockingly sharply, almost reprimanding. Your eyes go wide at how fast he reacts. He even glares at the girl.

Besides you, your best friend immediately turns around.

“Oh hey!” She greets the young newcomer. “Weren’t you that girl caught buying weed only for the cops to figure out you were actually buying oregano?”

Her cheerful tone makes you bust out a snort because yeah, she’s right.

The girl’s face falls absolutely mortified.

“Now get the fuck out of here.” Your dear friend finishes sweet but the undercurrent of her voice looms threatening. The disgraced girl rushes away before she can even reply.

You wheeze into your hand and fondly lean against your dearest sweet friend.

“If she or any of her little punk ass friends try anything again, I’ll shove my heel so far up their asses.” She reassures.

“Don’t worry,” Ricky now jumps in. “I’m definitely telling our bouncer those little shits managed to sneak in.”

Gratitude carves out an ocean in you and you’re thankful for those who understand.

David whistles appreciatively and your friend, with a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder, returns to her discussion with him.

You feel Javier’s eyes burning on you.

“Does shit like that happen often?” His concerned and low voice floats out among the music.

You shrug.

“Back when I first came back it did, but it's dying down.”

You were supposed to be a big rodeo star. You even had an official big name brand sponsorship lined up. But, after the accident, not returning to the rodeo painted you a failure in the eyes of the town.

Especially compared to its bright shining star you sit beside.

Suddenly a warmth slides over your hand resting on the bar. Javier squeezes your hand gently, a reassuring comfort.

“I’m sorry.” He mutters deeply sad. “S’fucking awful.”

You thank him, even make a dry joke about small town bullshit which earns you a small dry chuckle.

“The shit I got after Lorraine…” he sighs and now you find his hand doesn’t leave yours. You don’t want it to.

“I get it. Shit’s brutal.” He finishes, a steeled hardness lingering in his tone.

Now your hand squeezes his.

His eyes, gleaming tiger’s eyes gemstones, flicker up to you and you smile softly.

Javi’s hand feels so lovely. It's rough, a bit callous but cozy. Just like him.

“Hey!” Your best friend suddenly cheers. “Let’s dance!”

She interrupts the moment but you can’t blame her. A hesitant scrunched up reaction tugs at your face though.

“It’s a slow dance.” You waver.

“That’s the best kind! Come on!” She urges and you spot her hand already intertwining with the guy’s.

“You go,” you urge with a beaming grin. “I wanna finish my drink.”

“Aw, come on now bandita,” now Javi slides off his seat.

Standing up straight, he extends his hand out to you.

“You gotta at least get one dance in.” He smirks.

It’s just one dance and you don’t know if you’ll ever get another chance to dance with him. That thought alone outweighs the hesitation. Placing your hand in his, Javier leads you out to the dance floor.

Javi maintains a polite distance from you. Yet the faintest scent of his cologne floats off him, a siren’s song pure of temptation. His hand keeps yours in its protective hold while he gently guides you to the beat of the music.

Being this close to him clouds your focus in a tantalizing haze begging you to get lost in. But you can’t. You can’t even stare into his eyes. So your focus flickers out to the rest of the bar.

David and your best friend dance close, already getting cozy with each other. Then your eyes move to the door.

The bar’s bouncer sternly starts throwing the three girls out and the one you recognize stares at you with disgusted hatred.

You snort.

“What?” Javi mutters, his voice silky against the low music.

You nudge your head towards the bar’s entrance and Javi follows your gaze.

“Oh hey.” He comments, noticing the scene.

“Good riddance. Poor girl must be pissed seeing you dance with someone me though.” You mutter a bit gleeful at the thought.

“Wait, what?” Javi sounds insulted.

“Uh yeah,” you reply, confused. “I mean, it’s kinda funny. You’re Mr. hometown hero here with the town’s nobody.”

“No.” Javier snaps fast. “Anyone who says or believes that’s a pinché cabrón.”

They’re a fucking asshole and the way he speaks with a conviction refuses to allow any doubt to refute him.

“And besides…I’m not a hero.” That’s when Javi’s voice drops, transforming into a whisper tangled among the slow country ballad playing.

“I’m not that golden bullshit guy everyone thinks I am.” His voice contains a stinging rawness you recognize.

Now you’re the one snapping back at him.

“Yeah you are. You’re good, Javi.” You begin firm.

“You’re noble and kind. Brave.” The words flow from your heart and you don’t even stop them. “You’ve worked hard to help people. I’m sure there’s shit you regret and you might not think you’re good because of it, but you are.”

He stays silent. Only the tune of the slow jam settles between you and him. You’re worried you’ve maybe said something to upset him.

Then Javier exhales your name and it has never sounded so tender.

Your throat tightens and when you finally look at him, you’re greeted by a galaxy.

The lights of the bar dance in his dark road eyes that stare directly at you as if the rest of the bar has melted away. Javi’s hand gingerly against your back now slides down gently. In that same motion, he slowly begins drawing you to him.

You don’t resist and catch his eyes flickering to your lips.

A sudden clamoring collision erupts and startled, you clutch onto Javi.

The cause of the commotion is a man who tripped into some chairs. He effortlessly laughs it off. The group he’s with helps him up and you’re thankful it’s not a bar fight.

You sigh relaxed.

That’s when you notice Javier shifted to draw you closer to him. In an almost protective hold, he has you now close against his broad chest. His cologne smells divine, makes your mouth water.

Like a bolt of electricity striking you, you’re galvanized and scramble immediately out of his hold.

“Wait, bandita, what’s wrong? You okay?” He’s so concerned and you dare not look at him.

“Just need some air.” You reply moving away from Javi towards the door leading to the small patio outside.

Your best friend swiftly rushes to you.

“Hey, you okay?!”

You rapidly reassure her that you’re fine and just need air. You even joke about not being able to handle your drinks anymore.

“That fucker didn’t try anything, right?” She asks low and deadly.

You shake your head and squeeze her hand. It’s enough for her to let you leave. Your body operates on autopilot until you stumble into the night air.

It feels like you’re resurfacing. You move to lean against the railing and simply gather yourself.

You feel possessed again needing to kiss him.

And it’s not just that. You want all of him all the time now and it’s infesting you. You’re barely keeping your head above water or maybe you’re this far gone under the waves.

For a moment you think it might be drizzling again. Until you blink and realize the water against your eyes are tears threatening to spill.

You’re so afraid of how badly you want Javier, and how badly it might shatter right before your eyes.

Someone says your name cautiously.

Embarrassed, you turn towards the door.

Javi stands a few steps away from you. His handsome face crumbles instantly seeing you. Quickly he rushes to your side, as if on instinct wanting to help, until he stops.

“Bandita, are you okay!? Fuck… did I do this?” He stammers out worried.

“Did I overstep?” His voice is wrecked. He’s so apologetic already.

You shake your head trying to pathetically dab away the tears. Unable to look at Javier, your attention stays on the dark stretch of parking lot.

“I promise it’s not you. It’s me.” Maybe it will always just be you.

“Querida…”

Darling…he’s never called you that.

“Whatever it is, please let me help.” His voice pleads unbearably tender and you want to cry even more.

He really is so good, too good.

“I just…I just can’t take it...” you begin with a watery cough.

You finally look at him. The furrowed brows, his worried soaked eyes, concern paints him so young. You’re reminded of the young man you saw walking out of a bank all those years ago and how a piece of him stands before you now.

“I like you so much Javi.” Through the heartache, you finally admit it out loud. “Maybe even more than I wanna admit and I don't know if I can’t keep fighting it.”

His face scrunches up and his eyes rapidly scan over you.

“Fight it?” He mutters out. “Why fight it?”

Now you stare at him a bit confused. You have nothing to lose now. So you hold your heart out to him. You reveal it all…the fears and worries sprouting in your heart like uncomfortably cacti about how he deserves someone just as refined and established as him, that he'll eventually get bored of someone like you.

All your words come out hollow, especially thinking about how he can have anyone he wants.

Javier, suddenly in the middle of your ramble, interrupts, upset, snapping your name fiercely that any other words you want to say vanish.

“You’re the only one in this town who actually understands, who maybe even really fucking sees me.” He growls.

Your heart even jumps hearing how determined and raised his voice got.

“You…” Javi now chokes out and suddenly runs a hand over his face. Then his hands go to his hips. His eyes fall to the floor as if he’s taking a moment to gather himself.

“Fuck… you don’t even know what you do to me, how much you fucking mean to me.” Javier breathes and the words get caught in your ribs.

“Whenever you’re not around I can’t stand it. I just wanna be with you….all the damn time.” He coughs out as if he can’t even believe his words.

Those earth pool eyes of his flicker to you.

Under the watch of the clouded Texas deep night sky, it’s just you and him.

You don't know who moves first. Instead it feels like two magnets finally flinging together so fast the collision knocks you awake.

Because in a blink Javi’s hand holds face while his other yanks at your hips. Then he kisses you.

It’s all encompassing.

Immediately your hands scramble to claw at him, begging to get him as close as possible.

His mustache scrapes beautifully against your lips. You taste the beer lingering on his tongue and he’s divine. The wall of the bar suddenly hits your back.

Now you’re flush against him, fully pinned under all of Javier, and you moan. His tongue with hungered finesse licks into your mouth. One hand stays firmly holding your face while his other runs across your body trying to map you out.

His hips rut against yours and you go dizzy with aching raw need.

“Mi pretty bebita, so good to me.” He whispers out thick and heavy. You whine wanting him more, wanting him inside you every way possible. Everything feels molten.

Javi playfully bites your bottom lip and your knees almost buckle. Your mind simply chants for him.

A clash of teeth, a burning heat devours you while you chase every taste of Javier that he gives. It’s an unleashing of something raw and aching, as if finally you can breathe against him while something inside you whispers yes, yes you and I are here and you don’t want to ever leave.

A sudden droplet plops onto your head. You ignore it especially when your tongue swipes against Javi’s and he groans out the most heavenly noise.

A few more large obvious water drops come.

You and Javi freeze, halting mid make out like a paused VHS tape.

Then the rain arrives.

“Shit!” Javi coughs out immediately pulling away. He quickly shrugs off his blazer and drapes it over you, a makeshift umbrella.

Filled by the most buoyant bliss, you laugh.

Javier snorts, shaking his head but he must sense it too, all of it amongst the rain.

And it’s beautiful.

-

“I’m surprised you don’t wear this as much.” Javier comments as he picks up your Stetson cowboy hat.

He’s shirtless, only wearing his jeans. You’re treated to his bare broad shoulders and wonderfully sweet ass in his jeans. It’s an utterly devastating combo.

Sitting on your bed waiting to settle in for the night with him, you shrug.

You didn’t expect him to be so curious and constantly snooping around anytime he’s in your bedroom. Then again, you still can’t believe he’s even in your bedroom.

Sneaking away that the first weekend after the bar didn’t last long though.

Your grandma caught him a few Sunday mornings later trying to sneak out and she ran to you screaming excitedly when she could start planning the wedding. You still haven’t recovered from that.

Even with the blessings from both sides, including Chucho and your gramps, you still wanted to just enjoy being with Javi in these intimate carved out spaces.

His presence already is crystallizing here. His wallet and packs of nicotine gum clutter the night stand. His extra pair of sunglasses sit beside yours on the dresser. His faded worn Texas A&M University t-shirt is tossed by the bed and his boots are by the door. You treasure it all.

Javi, now standing in front of you, places the cowboy hat on top of your head.

The familiar presence of wearing it is like greeting an old friend. You bashfully grin at your handsome rancher. Javier’s eyes gloss over you, taking in the sight. His hand moves to tenderly hold your face.

“You look good, like a true damn cowgirl.” He mutters and your heart flutters against its cage.

“Know you can ride like one now too,” his voice dips with a magnetic undertone as his words hold the heavily sexual double meaning.

You playfully smack his shoulder and he smirks.

“I’m still surprised you don’t call me cowgirl instead of bandita.” You note gently.

“Do you mind that I call you that?” One of his eyebrows lifts up curiously.

No, you didn’t mind at all. You were just curious and you even tell him that.

Javi snorts and his thumb now strokes your cheek.

“The way Pop used to talk about you and how you’d race made you sound like some wild bandit trying to outrun outlaws or something.”

You snort now and your fondness for Chucho Peña triples.

“And then,” Javier continues. “When I met you, I knew I was fucked.”

Now your face scrunches up confused and you ask why. A small charming grin tugs his lips.

“Cause the minute I saw you glaring at me in the barn you stole every fucking inch of me.”

Javi’s thumb now moves to run over your lip and desire bubbles in you. You kiss his thumb, delicate and reverent.

“My pretty little bandit.” His voice is low, a fond rumble in his chest that you want to drown in as much as you can.

You think of all the awards you’ve won, the tournaments you’ve faced. Yet they all seem to fall so short to those words, to this man you so endlessly adore.

In your cowboy hat, you yank Javi close and kiss him. Quickly you and him both tumble into your bed sheets, melting against each other in pure bliss.

In the afterglow, you snatch up the cowboy hat again and now place it on Javi’s head. Your gruff rancher's face twists into a grumpy frown and you grin giddy.

“You look good, a classic Texas man.” You compliment him, almost mirroring the words he told you.

His face scrunches up more.

“Always thought I looked stupid wearing these.” He huffs taking off the Stetson.

“Everybody looks good in a cowboy hat.” You reply truthfully and place the hat back on him.

“Especially you.” You add letting your hand slide across his bare chest. The sight of him in the cowboy hat, your cowboy hat, flickers to life the simmering heat from earlier. He’s already so beautiful and now a cowboy hat on, shirtless, with the dimming post sex glow radiating from him, he’s personified sin.

“Cowboy hat doing it for ya, huh?” Javi’s little cocky smirk has you glaring playfully at him.

“Shut up.” You huff but then swiftly kiss him. Soon enough you become one again with the man taking root in your heart.

Early the next morning, when he thinks you’re asleep, Javier’s fingertips trace over your face with butterfly wing delicateness.

“So fuckin’ crazy about you, baby.” He whispers to your unknowing sleeping form. You feel your heart blossom, a morning bloom wanting to keep him tangled in your soul for as long as he’ll stay.

You think again of two lonely birds on the wire, maybe not so lonely anymore.

With a soft kiss goodbye against your forehead Javi heads out and you soak molten in his words.

You end up not seeing him for a few days. Over the phone he explains, annoyed, of having to run around trying to find a specific fence wire and how it’s kept him away.

Even with how much you miss him, it does allow you space.

Earlier this month, you decided on a new training schedule. Each week would alternate between practice at the Peña’s ranch and yours.

Currently practice is at your family’s ranch.

“Next time you talk to that boyfriend of yours, tell him to get tacos from that place he got us lunch from last time.” Your sister yells as she finishes up a few drills around the ring.

You roll your eyes. “He isn’t a food delivery service.”

She simply shrugs.

The day is winding down. Early evening approaches and the Texas sun starts to bathe everything in a golden glaze straight out of a George Strait song.

“You know…I’m happy for you.” As you and her start putting everything away for the day, your sister casually drops that line.

“About what?” You smirk.

“You and Javi.” She clarifies. Her face is messy with sweat but she beams bright. “You deserve someone like him.”

Your sister, always so kind, maybe too kind for a world this harsh sometimes.

“What? Someone who always manages to steal the last biscuit or flirts with grandma more and more everyday?” You tease and your little sister snickers.

“Well yeah. But what I mean is…you deserve someone who sees how great you are.”

Her words crash into you with a tidal wave of emotions. Her attention rests with her horse, getting in a few final brushes before she turns in for the day.

“I know you… think you’re some sort of failure or that you’re not good. But you are. You’re actually the fucking best.” She says so simply. “And I’m happy Javi sees it too.”

Tears clog your eyes and dry out your throat.

“You sound like a bad hallmark card.” You laugh watery but the gratitude flows out.

Your sister glares then throws the grooming brush at you. You laugh harder when she misses and once she’s out of the stable you playfully shove her.

“You heading back?” She notices your slow pace that hangs back.

You reassure her you’ll be home in a minute and just need a few minutes to yourself. With an understanding nod she walks back to the house.

Now alone you head to the very last stable and head to your ace. You miss your old companion and seeing this sweet creature nudge his muzzle against your hand conjures a sad nostalgic tug in your heart.

Grabbing the saddle, and untangling the reign, you head out to the ring.

You’ve been talking about your old rodeo days with Javi a lot recently. You ask him about Columbia as well. In the sacred soft space of pillow talk. you and him gently unravel more memories, more secrets to each other. It’s made you nostalgic, even a bit wistful.

Plus, you haven’t done this in a while. You frequently rode at a leisurely place along the trails by the river from time to time. But getting into the ring is still so sacred.

With your horse all set, you hoist yourself up and onto the saddle.

Just a few laps is all you do. You focus on the sound of the dirt under the hooves, the light breeze on your face, the feel of riding again.

Then, after gaining more confidence, you speed up.

It’s not even close to the speeds you used to hit, but it’s quick. You even make a lap around the ring going this speed.

One rotation, one good lap and you’re soaring.

It’s nothing. It’s not even an attempt to get back into the rhythm of racing. But it’s a ride and home in its own way.

You slow down, let the horse trot out of his groove to calm down. The entire time, your chest feels so light.

Your eyes glance out and then your heart drops.

Javi, with his flat out jaw dropped, stares at you as if you’ve spouted wings. You didn’t even hear him approach.

He breathes out your name.

Scrambling, a bit embarrassed, you quickly dismount, and after guiding the horse to the side you rush towards him.

You’re about to apologize for not noticing him when Javier ends up speaking first.

“You’re incredible.” He exhales in awe and it knocks the wind from you.

He must see whatever emotion colors your face because he repeats himself again firmer.

“You’re amazing, bandita.”

You weakly laugh thanking him.

“Does that mean-”

“Nah,” you gently cut him off and explain how you just enjoy a ride like that from time to time.

“It’s like just taking a casual drive type thing.” You shrug.

Suddenly Javi’s hand moves to rest on your arm leaning against the fence. He rubs so soft and comfortingly.

“Thank you,” he says gently. “For letting me know you.”

You want him to know every inch of you. The same way you want to know Javier in every way that you can. You want to carve out a home in your heart for him.

The hand that was on your arm moves to your cheek tilting your face towards his. He wears his classic aviator sunglasses you’ve grown fond of stealing from him.

He’s so gorgeous. It’s like the Texas sun was made to bask Javi in its glow. He’s a modern Helios, beautifully crafted with his deep earthy eyes and golden face.

“Proud of you, mi bandita.” He mutters with words soaked in adoration.

You swallow hard and let the truth sink into you.

“Thank you Javi… I’m proud of you too.” You earnestly tell him.

He snorts bashfully and you think you might be doomed to think about this man forever now, but it’s alright.

There’s something foreign in your chest growing so bright you feel as if you’ve swallowed a sun and maybe you have. Because Javier is bright, so unexpectedly warm.

A man crafted right out of the Texas golden magic hour.

And as Javi leans forward to kiss you so tenderly, you step forward into the sun, into his kaleidoscopic glow and it’s beautiful.

[snowb3rryy]

Hi there! I was wondering if you'd be interested in doing a Simeon nsfw prompt?

Sure thing! I hope this is close to what you have in mind♡

I added an sfw version as well, just to go smoother to the nsfw part.

Simeon SFW&NSFW Prompt

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

SFW:

First Kiss:

At first, he's quite old-fashioned. He didn't kiss you before asking you properly to be his girlfriend, and of course, your first kiss happened at the end of your first official date as a couple. A soft, small peck on the lips with his hand placed on your cheek to hold you close.

Making Out:

Simeon is pretty shy to do more than a kiss or hold hands when you're not in one of your rooms. Even if you're alone, let's say, in the common room of the House of Lamentation or in the Purgatory Hall, he still prefers to get more intimate at the privacy of your rooms. He holds you close at first, stroking your hair as you both initiate on a french kiss that slowly ends up with your legs resting over his lap while he holds you by your waist. As the weeks passed, he started to get more comfortable on touching your body underneath your clothes but still not under your underwear.

Public:

Going out in public with Simeon either for a walk or shopping or on your way for a date, he loved to hold your hand inside his. Occasionally, he'd caress the back of your hand with his thumd and kiss it. He would allow you to kiss him on the cheek and hug him, but nothing more than that because he felt that doing morw would draw unwanted attention.

Dates:

Simeon is quite spontaneous on dates. He'd arrange one date for you every month, however it was a usual occasion for him to walk around fhe Devildom and suddenly text you about this new place he found and that he'd love for you to join him on a date. He'd never let you pay no matter how many times you insist. Most of the time, he'd let you choose for him what to order if you're out for food or a drink. However, he prefers going on a date with you simply walking to a nice park or by the sea.

NSFW

Kinks:

~ Voyeurism: He may not admit it but, a few times when he caught you pleasuring yourself he silently stayed behind your closed door and listened to your voice, keeping it close to his mind so that he can use it late at night to relieve his own self. Of course, the word "caught" is an exaggeration since he never actually opened the door. He kept it to himself for a while, but after he heard you at least 4 times he did mention it because he felt a bit bad. From then on you do as you please with that knowledge in your head.

~ Face sitting: after he got more comfortable with you (~about after the first year of your relationship) he asked you hesitantly if you can sit on his face. Not 69, simply sit on his face and let him enjoy you. After the first few times, he simply laid down after foreplay and waitted for you to sit on him.

~ Pegging: You actually were the one to bring up this idea. When he first heard it, he blushed but not from embarrassment, but because he got so flustered and turned on that you actually were into that. It's not that usual when you peg him but, when you do he really is becoming a whole other person, losing his mind and collective self in front of you.

~ Denial and Edging: He loves when you ride him to get off yourself and simply stop before he can finish. You keep him buried inside you for a couple of minutes while you keep his hips down whenever he tries to thrust. Keep teasing him with kisses behind his ear and trace your nails inside his palm and he'll be begging you to continue.

Masturbation:

Masturbation is something Simeon never really cared for. He did do it in the past when he first found out about it and also whenever he was interested in someone, but it was such an insignificant time in his centuries of adulthood that he eventually stopped caring. However, that changed when you came around. After a very long time, he felt the excitement of a crush in his heart but also in his pants.

Dom/Sub or Switch:

Simeon is a soft dom leaning switch. He enjoys when you let him take over and make sweet love to you or trust him entirely when you both try something new out. However, there are some few times that he will enjoy you taking the lead even if he's the one penetrating you.

Oral:

Simeon isn't very interesting in receiving oral, he won't mind to try it out at first but he won't ask you to do it since he prefers to get inside you then toy with your mouth. On the contrary, he enjoys giving you pleasure using his mouth, in fact he loves any way that will make you reach your orgasm and make you feel euphoric during it, however he almost always adds eating you out (preferably with you on his face) in your foreplay time.

Favourite Position:

Train: In other words, face sitting.

Inquisitor: Between your legs, giving you cunnilingus

Slope: You lay on the edge of the bed with your upper body and hands hanging off of it while he kneels between your legs and hold you

Missionary: Traditional, always the easy way to go

Doggy Style: Simeon is more of an ass man, so he just loves the feeling of your butt against him. He usually lets you get comfortable, but when he's close, he'll lift you up to him and hold you secure with one hand in your tummy and the other on your chest.

First Time:

It took a long time for Simeon to accept that he has feelings for a human, and even longer to even actually get comfortable with asking you out so it's only reasonable for him to take it slow. Your first time was after a date, specifically a datw for your birthday after the celebration the brothers threw for you was over. He took you to your favourite place, yet when it was time to return you home, he still didn't have the idea of sleeping with you. After you arrived home, you called him to your room to sleep together as you usually did. However, you mentioned getting intimate with him for the first time, and he felt like it was indeed time. A lot of time has passed and he was sure about his feelings so now after confirming that you want this too, he stood up, hugged you and whispered in your ear "Let me love you in a way I haven't loved anyone"

[mewhenimanangel]

old friend ౨ৎ eren jaeger

pairing: eren jaeger x reader

synopsis: you knew eren for most of your life - your mom having been friends with his for so many years. he was your best friend and you were his. until you weren’t

wc: 3.8k

content!: friends to lovers, swearing, smut, oral sex, piv, fluff

you knew eren for most of your life - your mom having been friends with his for so many years. so naturally as kids, you hung out all the time. play dates, sleepovers, baths, you went everywhere together. he was your best friend and you were his.

when you entered your adolescence, you grew apart a bit and began leading different lives and make different friends. when you got your first boyfriend, it sparked the first ever real argument between you and eren. he claimed you were leaving him in the dust but it was plain and clear that it was simply jealousy. you were still friends you just had different priorities, eventually eren was starring in a new tv show where he acted as the main character so you saw him less and less. it's not like he forgot about you but now he was thrown into the limelight and things changed.

during college, that's when things really dried out. you still had his number, both of you sending the occasional holiday greetings and birthday wishes. you attended and graduated from university, now landed a job in fashion pr. you had an apartment, nothing too crazy and a little on the smaller side but it was only you living there and it was decorated completely to your liking so you barely had any qualms.

it was saturday night and your friend, dayana, invited you to a bar down town. convincing you it would be fun and bribing you with a ride there, you agreed. you hopped out of the shower to moisturize your body before moving onto your makeup.

you got dressed into a black off shoulder top with a pair of bootcut jeans and black kitten heels. you got your purse and utilities, put them into your handbag and left your house. dayana was downstairs waiting in her car, cigarette in hand when she looked up to see you coming. she smiled and unlocked the doors to let you in the passenger seat.

"hey boo, you ready?" she asked, leaning over to give you a hug. "yeah let's go" you smiled, turning on your joint playlist.

you met dayana when she was your roommate in college and instantly connected. without her college would have sucked for you. you'd spent almost everyday together and did almost everything together, making the best memories. she always dragged you along to whatever function was going on. even though you would be skeptical you always had a great time. you'd led each other to make some not great choices but what's life if not making mistakes to learn from. you also led each other to a life of greatness and abundance, so there was a good balance.

you two were singing and chatting the whole way there, which took longer than necessary - thanks to la traffic. you unbuckled your seatbelt and got out of the car when dayana went to the bouncer to get the both of you in the building.

you got in and head straight for a seat in the corner. you got on the high chairs and ordered a plate of nachos and fries to share. you ordered a tray of mimosas and dayana ordered a few shots of pink whitney. "ugh i needed this" you sighed with a playful smile on your face that made dayana giggle.

you spent the night laughing and talking about your lives as if you don't update each other everyday. you were on your fifth drink, luckily the food helped you not feel the drunk as much. "oh my god, okay don't look now but that guy over there is staring so fucking hard at you" you leaned over to whisper to her. disregarding your instructions she whipped her head in the direction you spoke of and caught the guy's eye. he shot a smile her way and she sent a small wave before turning back to you.

"okay you literally don't listen" you giggled. "is he still looking?" she asked. you sent a subtle look over to him and he was still looking back at her. "yeah. he's cute you should go talk to him" you told her. "aw but i don't want to leave you alone" she frowned holding your hand. "no it's okay. plus he is really fine, better take your ass over there before i do" you joked. she rolled her eyes fondly and got down to straighten out her skirt. "i'll let you know how it goes" she smiled before grabbing her drink and walking over to his table.

you grabbed your own and walked over to the bar to order more. "hey, can i get a shot of bloody mary" you told the bartender, before sipping on your almost done drink. he shortly after pushed the drink in front of you and you tilted your head back slightly to gulp it down. "can i get another one? thank you" you smiled.

you went on your phone for a bit before you heard your name being called. you looked over your shoulder to see eren - his hair was cut and slightly curly in the right places, he wore a plain black shirt under a black carhartt jacket with jeans that were a little baggy and adidas. "oh my gosh, hii" you smiled, getting up to give him a hug. he gladly returned it engulfing your body in a bear hug, arms around your torso.

"what are you doing here?" he asked, sitting down with you. "oh i'm here with my friend dayana" you pointed in the direction of the blonde now very obviously flirting with the man from before. "oh cool cool. well how you been? its been forever" he asked. "um i've been pretty good. i have a nice job and i got a cute little apartment in westwood" you told him. "alright nice, m'happy for you" he nudged your shoulder.

he waved the bartender over to order a jagerbomb. "you still drink those?" you furrowed your eyebrows at the memory of him getting blackout drunk from those when you were teenagers. "duh, they're good. plus they're literally named after me." "yeah i don't think so" you giggled. and he smiled, the smile you haven't seen in person in a few years the smile that you missed so dearly. "so what's been up with you? i finished attack on titan by the way" you said.

"really? what'd you think?" he asked, getting excited. "oh my god so good, i literally sobbed at the ending like oh my god" you put your hand to your chest. "right? i cried reading the script" he chuckled. "anyways i've been alright, doing stuff here and there you know. after we wrapped i've been on a bit of a break" he told you. "yeah well you're still everywhere on my feed" you joked. "yeah? do i at least look good" he asked. "great" you laughed.

"so, are you seeing anybody?" he asked, taking a shot. "not really, just sex and whatever. nothing serious" you answered. he nod his head and now it was your turn to ask. "what about you? what's been going on with you and salem?" you asked, referring to the headlines you'd read about him 'spotted' with a model. "nothing actually, just publicity. she's not really my type. but since we were in that shoot together, managers thought it'd be good" he told you. you nod your head.

"mm cool" you smiled and he gave you a look you couldn't decipher. you felt a tap on your shoulder and looked to see dayana with the guy on her arm. "think i'm gonna head out" she gave you a teasing smirk. "will you be okay here?" she asked. you looked over at eren before answering "uh yeah, just catching up. this is eren by the way" you introduced him. "hi, i'm dayana" she smiled. "anyways i've got to go. y/n can you close the tab for me, i'll pay back tomorrow" she asked. "yeah. stay safe, have fun" you winked at her. "oh girl i will" she smirked, walking away with her guy.

"she seems nice" he smiled at you. "she is. i love her" you sipped on your drink. "oh by the way i can drop you home. or you can come back to my house if you want." he offered. you thought it over for a second before answering "yeah, that sounds nice." you smiled.

you talked more at the bar before deciding it was enough alcohol if eren was to be driving home. you closed the tab and handed the bar tender your credit card before getting up with eren. "won't your friends or whoever miss you?" you asked him. "no they're good. come on, car's down this way" he said, grabbing your hand. he led you down the road to a black bmw parked by the sidewalk.

you got in the passenger seat and he drove in the direction of his house. it was a gorgeous two story house with even more gorgeous landscaping. "armin lives here too, that's why the lawn looks so nice" he unbuckled his seatbelt. "yeah cause i knew damn well that could not be under your care" you laughed. "alright not too much"

he pulled out his keys and opened the front door that led into the living room. it was furnished with a large white sofa and a matching arm chair by the window, round wooden coffee table in the middle of the room. you looked around more at the decor before following eren into the kitchen. "it is so nice here oh my god. where's armin? i wanna say hi" you said. "oh he's not here right now, he's in greece with his dad" he told you. "oh that's so cool, i'd love to go to greece" you said, before opening your phone to text dayana where you were.

"do you want anything?" he asked, opening the fridge. "um just some water, had a little too much tonight it's catching up to me" you laughed. he grabbed a cold water bottle from the fridge and put it down in front of you. "you hungry or anything? want a cookie?" he asked opening the container that was filled with chocolate chip cookies. you grabbed one and took a bite "mmm did you make these?" you asked him. "nah they're from the grocery store. but armin makes me put them in that container so it looks nicer in the kitchen. he's a real bitch about his aesthetics" he laughed, making you laugh.

he sat down next to you and took a sip from the water he gave you. "i missed you, by the way" you whispered. "i missed you too like a lot. i should've reached out more just been busy." he said. "no it's okay, phone works both ways you know." you nudged his shoulder. neither of you said anything for a while, relishing in the comfortable silence. "remember when we got into a huge fight because of isaiah" you brought up with a giggle. "ugh how could i forget, fucking hated that guy." he scoffed.

"yeah and you were right to" you sighed, remembering the turmoil he'd put you through in junior year. "always am" he shrugged. "i had a little crush on you actually, that's why i was so upset" he admitted with a laugh to brush it off. your head snapped toward him. "really??" you asked, finishing the cookie he gave you. "yeah i thought that was obvious, felt pretty obvious to me" you nod your head. "i think i had a crush on you too, like afterwards. but then you know we drifted apart and whatever" you shrugged.

"hmm well, back together now" he smiled, taking a sip. "yeah guess we are." you smiled back. "do you still like me?" he asked out of nowhere. suddenly you got all awkward and shy, it was showing by the way you twisted your face. "i don't know" you giggled. "i do." he said. you now turned to look him in the face to see if he was playing around or not but he looked serious.

"are you joking?" you furrowed your eyebrows. "i'm not, i'm serious. you don't even know how bad i've missed you." he pushed a curl out of your face. "then why didn't you say anything" you sighed. "i thought you got tired of me." he was rubbing his thumb along your jaw, not breaking eye contact. "i could never, i thought you got tired of me"

"never" he chuckled. you stayed like that for a moment before he asked "can i kiss you?" you nod your head and leaned in to press your lips against his in a needy kiss, arms immediately around his neck. "wait, are you still drunk?" he pulled away. "sober enough to know i want this" you answered finding his mouth again. he pulled you onto his lap, soft hands rubbing against your thighs. "god i can't believe we've never done this" he said. "then let's make up for lost time" you smirked, moving to kiss on his neck.

he let out a soft groan feeling your soft lips on the skin of his neck. you pushed your hand up underneath his shirt, rubbing a hand over his toned abs. you could feel him getting hard underneath you and whined your hips across his lap, the friction of your jeans rubbing on your crotch turned you on. "fuck okay we're not doing this here" he sighed, getting up from underneath you. you furrowed your eyebrows before he picked you up high in his arms and spun in the direction of the stairs making you giggle.

he moved up the stairs at he pressed kisses along your exposed shoulders. he opened a door to what you assumed was his room and moved to rest you on the bed. he leaned down to turn on his lamp and threw off his jacket. you kicked off your heels and got on your knees to crawl to the edge of the bed.

you reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it up, ogling his abs and v-line that led down to his dick hidden under his boxers. "you got so muscly" you said, feeling him up. "had to" he smirked.

he kissed you again, now rushed and sloppy, gripping the skin of your ass. he laid you back down on the bed, hovering over you. he let go slowly biting your swollen lips before he lined kisses down your neck, sucking and leaving bruises along your collarbone and the top of your breasts. he reveled in the soft moans he managed to get out of you, sounding so angelic.

he lifted your shirt off you staring at your bare tits. he brushed over your nipple with the pads of his thumb, squeezing it. he put a nipple in his mouth, sucking and licking on it while his hand groped at its twin. you squirmed around letting out soft moans of pleasure. "you like getting your tits played with?" he smirked. you bit your lips and nod your head.

he got on his knees off you and and unbuttoned your jeans, tugging them down, lifting your hips to help him. "is it alright if i touch you here, princess" he asked, resting a thumb on your mons. "mhm" you mumbled with a smile.

through your panties, he pressed his thumb on your clit drawing out small whimpers from you. he moved his fingers down your clothed slit, cocky smirk on his face "jesus baby these are soaked" he chuckled. "eren please" you whimpered. "please what? tell me what you want" he continued rubbing you through your panties. "want you to go down on me" you whispered. he hooked his fingers through the waistband and tugged them down. suddenly shy, you squeezed your legs together to cover yourself.

"don't hide from me, you're fucking gorgeous" he got down between your legs, resting them on his shoulders, lining kisses down them. he stopped just before your entrance, sucking on your thighs leaving marks. he sucked and licked on your clit like he hadn't eaten in days, he was sloppy with it but still mindful making sure you came.

he worked his tongue over your slit while continuing to suck on your folds. "eren! oh my god" you cried out, closing your eyes and looking away. "ah-ah look at me baby" he whispered. you followed his instructions but the eye contact and the stimulation was sending you over the edge. he pinched the skin on your ass to get you to look back at him.

"fuck ren im so close!" you whined. he just continued working his tongue over you while your rode your hips against his face and tangled your hand through his hair. you felt the familiar sensation in your lower body that let you know you were about to cum.

seconds later you were sighing in relief as eren lapped up every last drop from your cunt. "you still good, baby?" he asked, pushing his middle and ring finger past your folds, reaching further than yours ever could. "so good" you whined. he curled them inside you, rubbing against your walls, hitting the perfect spots inside you.

"god you're fingers feel so good" you moaned. "i'm gonna cum again, eren. mmm feels so good" you whimpered. "cum on these fingers baby" he leaned down and kissed you, tongue immediately in your mouth. you bit his lip feeling yourself reach climax and moaned into his mouth as your cum pooled around his fingers. he leaned up to suck your essence off him before pulling his jeans off and grabbing a condom from his nightstand.

he eased his boxers down off his hips and dick sprung out from the waistband. it looked about seven inches, tip the same pink as his lips and cut. he pushed the condom down his length and hovered on top of you, your arms finding their place around his neck bringing him closer. he lined his tip up with your hole and gently pushed himself inside you. he was stretching you out so good, the pain mixed with the pleasure was driving you crazy.

he was taking his time but you needed more "ren, fuck me harder please" you groaned. he followed orders and spread your legs further, pushing himself deeper inside you. he moved at a faster pace, hands squeezing tightly around your hips. "god y/n you're milking me dry" he whimpered. his dick hit your g spot so right you weren't sure how much longer you would last. when he put his hand on your tit, squeezing and tugging at your nipple your chest arched into his hand.

he moved his thumb to your sensitive clit rubbing slow circles over it, making you jump. "oh my god!" you wailed. "that my new name, princess? i like it" he said with a cocky grin on his face.

"you can give me another one right baby?" he asked, increasing the speed on your clit while he dug his hips into you. you only whined in response, quieting a moan. "don't. i wanna hear you" he moved your hand from over your mouth. "ren fuck i'm gonna cum, i'm so fucking close" "go ahead baby" was all he said and for the third time that time you came, face hot and chest heaving.

"good girl, knew you could give me one more" he leaned down to kiss your forehead before he felt himself close too. he continued pumping inside you, until he whimpered and groaned not breaking eye contact with you as he came too.

he flopped down in the bed next to you with a grin on his face. he reached a hand out to your cheek bringing you in for a gentle kiss. your legs entangled each other's and his arms wrapped around you bringing you closer as if to completely morph into you. "you okay?" he asked, rubbing a thumb over your cheek.

"yeah i'm okay" you smiled. "i'll be right back" he told you. he got up and pulled the condom off to throw it away before he put his boxers on and went out the room.

you heard his footsteps descend down the stairs before he came back with two glasses of water. you sat up in the bed and he handed you a cup. "thanks ren" you smiled, gulping it down.

he left the room again and went down the hallway. you heard water running for a bit before he came back into the room with a silly smile on his face. "what?" you furrowed your eyebrows. he didn't say anything he just picked your bare body up in his arms and carried you down the hall into his bathroom.

he had drawn a bath for you, lit with candles. "thanks to armin and his self care sundays i have these prepared" he said, arms secure around you. "this is so cute" you giggled before peppering his face in kisses.

he let you down and you slowly stepped in sinking into the bubbles. he leaned back on the counter and just watched you. "you're not getting in?" you asked him. "don't wanna disturb you" he shrugged. "it's your bath tub" you said back. "it's your bath" he retorted. "just get in the tub dummy" you rolled your eyes fondly.

he chuckled and pulled off his boxers throwing them into the hamper in the corner. you moved your knees up to your chest to make room for him in the tub as he eased in, sloshing the soap around. "m'getting flashbacks from when we were little. feel like my mom is about to yell at me for splashing" you joked.

you stayed in the tub giving each other full and detailed updates on how your lives have been since you were close. you stayed so long the bath began to run cold and that was your sign to wash up and get out.

eren stepped out of the tub and wrapped his towel around his waist before going to the closet to get a spare towel for you. you picked up your phone to see the time read 12:43 am. "hey um it's getting late, think i could get that ride home now?" you asked. "oh...i was thinking you could just stay here. i mean- i mean if you want."

you were having a good time and weren't ready to go home anyways so you agreed. he gave you one of his shirts and a pair of clean boxers to wear to bed before getting dressed himself. "are you sure though, don't wanna rob you of your bed" you hesitated. "plenty of room, now come here." he plopped down on the bed, beckoning you over.

you got under his comforters sneaking closer to him. he threw his arm over your waist and pulled you closer to him. "i'm so glad i ran into you tonight" he said, so close you could feel his breathing on your forehead. "yeah me too" you looked up. you entangled your legs between his, eyelids growing heavy. "i really don't want you out of my life again" he whispered, caressing your waist underneath his shirt.

[writing-rat]

Lorraine's Lover

Pairing: Lorraine Day x GN!AFAB! Reader

Content: 18+ Content, no pronouns used, G!P Lorraine Day, Dominant Lorraine Day, Bottom Reader, AFAB Reader, Bit of fluff

Summary: Lorraine comes home from a shoot, prepared to see her lover and is ready for a good night too...

WC: 925

Lorraine was excited as she was ready to see her partner. Today had been a good filming day and it was local! That didn’t stop Lorraine from getting in the truck for a ride home. She didn’t want to get hurt by people in the town due to her losing her faith and her being a porno as well. Wayne was driving her as RJ was in the back with Maxine, Bobby and Jackson. This time they were filming a porno about 3 girls being slutty restaurant workers. Jackson was the patron and had used all 3 of them that day. Lorraine was just excited to see her partner though, and had checked the time constantly.

After around 10 minutes she was dropped off. “There you go Mouse,” Wayne spoke. They kept the same nickname with her without the church due to her not having faith anymore.  

“Thank you,” she said with a smile as she said goodbye to everyone, hugging Maxine and Bobby before running to her house practically. She had invited her lover there after her shoot and they said they would. She was soon through the door, looking for you immediately. That’s when she saw you cooking. “Baby,” she spoke happily and bounded over, hugging you tightly. You smiled immediately, kissing her gently. “Hey,” you spoke gently as you were chuckling. “Makin’ dinner. Good shoot?” you asked, kissing her forehead. “Yeah, we did a few scenes today and only had to redo one. We also had sandwiches and lemonade for lunch so I was cravin’ your cooking,” she responded and you chuckled with a nod. “At least I knew approximately when you came back,” you laughed a bit before plating up. It was just a pasta you had made up in your head, using the leftovers. She sat down eager, as you were soon handing over the food. “Thanks, baby,” she stated, waiting for you to sit down before she started. You loved that. “Want a drink?” you asked. “Yes! Coke please, I do want energy for tonight,” she smirked, causing you to blush and get 2 for the both of you. That’s when you sat down, handing hers over and you started to eat. You were also prepared for the night.

-

It was about 8 pm and you had just finished watching a film with Lorraine when she was kissing your neck. “My special little lover,” she murmured as she was soon rolling on top of you, kissing you deeply. You kissed back, holding her side as you knew she was ready. You could also feel her bulge on your stomach so you were even more excited about it. That’s when she suddenly laid you down and got on top, playing with your shorts. “You may,” you gasped, knowing what she wanted. She smirked, tugging them down and was surprised to see you commando. “Good,” she praised before removing your shirt, revealing you had no bra on too. Her dick twitched at that. 

That’s when she stripped down needily, kissing you before she was rubbing you gently, then entered a finger in slowly. She didn’t want you to be in pain after all. After realising you were loose enough, that’s when she added 2 more fingers and stretched you out fully, getting you ready for her. You appreciated that. “I think I’m loose enough,” you spoke shyly, moaning quietly as Lorraine nodded. “Just say water if you can’t handle it,” she hummed before she was slowly entering inside. You nodded. 

She was slow and gentle as she was entering, kissing you gently to help distract you from the pain. You were thankful for that, holding her as gently as possible. “There we go baby,” she muttered gently against your neck. “I’m fully inside, I’ll let you adjust for a few moments,” she added as she was marking your neck fully. You appreciated that, glad to be her lover as she was so much gentler with you than others in the films. 

Eventually, after a minute, you nodded. “Thank you, my love,” Lorraine spoke before she started to thrust into you. She was gentle and slow at first, kissing you gently to distract you from the slight pain at first. She hated to see you in pain after all. You soon tilted your neck, whimpering as you wanted her to mark you. You needed it. Lorraine meanwhile was groping at your chest with one hand, kissing your cheek as she thrusted.

Soon enough she was marking your shoulders too, as she was speeding up. She was also getting rougher as well. She knew you could handle it though like all the other times. Your moans also proved it as she kept going with a smirk, soon starting to suck on your nipples. She noticed how you clenched your hands around her. From that, she knew you were close. She was close herself, but she always wanted you to come first. She loved it whenever you tightened against her after all.

Soon enough you came, tightening around her dick. That’s when Lorraine kissed you suddenly, stopping the loud moan before she came hard inside, loving how you kissed back even more needier. “You did good baby,” she panted out with a smile, before kissing you much more gently, staying inside. 

“I love you,” you murmured, tired. She chuckled. 

“I love you too baby, always will,” she responded and cuddled you. “After a good cuddle session then we can clean up,” she added. You nodded, happy to be held and too tired to walk.

[yourimagines]

Can you Peter Parker x top male reader

I hope this is good, I’ve never done this before 😬 I also didn’t know which Peter Parker you meant so I’ll wrote both off them (sorry for the Toby fans)

Loving you

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Gif is not mine

* Triggers: 18+, smut,

Tom Holland’s Peter Parker

Y/N POV

“Peter!” I saw my boyfriend walking down the streets, he stopped and waved at me, I run up to him. “Hey Y/N, how your doing?” He had his hands in his pockets, looking a bit nervous. “Good, how are you?” “I’m good, thank you.” We both walked through the busy streets. “You have plans tonight?” “No you?“ he looked at me with big eyes. “No, we can hang out, just like last time.” I wiggled my eyebrows. He blushed. “Okay cool, I’ll see you later, I really need to go.” “Yeah sure, I’ll see you later Parker.” He waved me goodbye and walked away with the busy crowd.

———

I knocked on his door, holding a bag with snacks and drinks. “Hey, come in.” Peter opened the door and stepped aside the let me in. “Hey, thanks.” I walked into the living room, placing the bag on the table. “I brought us some stuff.” “Good, I have some movies picked out.” He held up some movies. “Good, let’s start then.” I sat down on the sofa as Peter moved around to get the movie night started. He eventually sat down next to me. “You’re ready?” He nodded as he started the first movie. I placed one arm on the back of the sofa, making space for him to relax back against me. “What movie is this?” I asked while eating some popcorn. “The nun.” He said while grabbing a blanket. “Since when do you watch horror movies?” “Since now.” He crawled against me and placed the blanket over us. I chuckled as I wrapped my arm around him. “Peter Parker afraid of horror movies.” He slightly pushed me against my chest. “Oh shut it Y/N.”

Peter was hiding his face into my chest. “Is it over?” “No.” The scary part was still playing. “I don’t like this.” “I know. You shouldn’t pick out this movie.” I felt his hands travel a bit down to my stomach. “I’m sorry I thought I could handle it.” I caressed his head softly, going through his hair. “It’s fine, do you want to distract yourself a bit?” He looked up, big eyes looking at me. “Yeah.” “Yeah?” I smiled at him. I nod to my lower part, his eyes went down. “You want me to suck you off?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know, I think it’s better for you yeah, the movie is way to scary for you.” I caressed his cheek. He carefully nods. “Okay.” He ducked down the blanket against, I felt him taking my belt off and dropping my pants. My hand went under the blanket, carefully gripping his hair. I felt his hand stroking my throbbing member. “Peter don’t tease.” “Sorry.” I heard his small voice from under the blanket. Then I felt his lips, his tongue twirling around, sucking me. I gripped his head a bit tighter, moving my hips a bit against him. “Oh god..” I moaned out. I felt him talking. “Stop talking, just keep going yeah?” I felt him nod and moved his head up and down. “This is good, keep going.” I pushed it a bit more into his mouth, feeling he has to gag. “Is it to big?” He hummed. “It’s not, it fits perfectly.” My hands went through his hair and over his shoulders. “I’m gonna unload this into your mouth, just keep sucking me.” I grabbed his head and pushed a few times deep into his throat, unloading my seeds. “Just swallow.” He did what I told him and licked everything clean. “Good boy.” He crawled up, strangling me. “Can I come now?” His hips moving against my thigh. I smiled at him. “Keep riding my leg and we’ll see.” I placed my hands on his hips, helping him. He lets out some whimpers. ‘This is going to be a long night.’

Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker

Y/N POV

I was hanging out with my boyfriend Peter, he was complaining about something what happened to him at school. “Then he smashed my camera.” “Who?” “Flash, the dickhead.” He sat down looking at me. “I’m complaining a bit to much aren’t I?” I chuckled. “No, it’s fine, come here.” I opened my arms for him. He smiles and crawls over to me. “It’s all going to be fine.” He placed his head on my chest. “Yeah I know, just a bit frustrated.” “I can help you with that.” He looks up, smiling at me. “Ohh you dirty.” I laughed at him. “Hey, your the one who’s whining.” “Oh am I?” I flipped us over. “Yes Parker, maybe I should help you with your problem.” My hand slowly traveled down to his member, already hard for me. “I don’t like teasing.” “I know.” As I started to make a hickey on his neck. “Y/N…” he moaned softly, his hands gripping my broad shoulders. My hand softly pumped up and down his member while I was sucking onto his neck. “You like this huh.” He nods. “Yeah I do..” I carefully went down on him, his whining became louder as I placed a kiss on his shaft. “Oh fuck.” His hands going through my hair. I chuckled at him, seeing him all whining under my touch. I traced my finger over his hole. “Just fuck me already Y/N.” With that a pulled a finger into his ass. He moaned. “Let me stretch that hole off yours first.” I started to finger him as I teasingly licked his and sucked his throbbing member. “Oh this is good y/n.” His hands travel down my hair to my shoulders and back up. I stopped and looked at him. He whines at me. I grabbed his waist and flipped him over, lining him up, my big tip teasing him against his hole. “Don’t tease me y/n, just di it already….” I bend him over and pushed it in. He moaned out my name. “Oh your ass is good.” I grabbed him firmly by his hips, fucking him good, he starts to moans and whine, gripping the sheets. “So good, you’re so good to me babe.” I started to pace up. “Don’t stop, I’m coming.” He moaned as he sprayed his seeds onto the sheets. “I’m filling you up babe.” I snapped my hips one more time and I filled his hole with my seeds. I took it out as my seeds was dripping out his hole. “Are you still frustrated?” “No.. cuddle me.” I chuckled. “I will but first let me clean you up.”

[petalsscribbles]

16. unexpected turn of events

Jay enters the bar, spotting his friend waving at him almost right away. He approaches the table with long strides and after a few polite bows to Yn's friends, he gently shakes his husband's shoulder.

"Jay... Where is he?" Yn mumbles before opening his eyes. "It's you." He says, lips curling into a smile.

"Yeah, it's me." He confirms and helps Yn on his feet. "Come on, let's go home. You've had enough alcohol for one day."

Yn nods and waves to his friends, hanging onto Jay with his other arm.

The ride home is peaceful, Yn just stares out of the window and hums a melody Jay doesn't recognize.

"Did you have fun today?" Jay asks, eyes on the road.

"Mhm. So much."

"I'm glad. Maybe next time don't drink so much."

"I'm not that drunk." Yn defends, words coming out a bit slurry.

"You were calling my name. You're positively wasted." Jay retorts as they pull up to the apartment complex's garage. Yn doesn't respond.

Once they're out of the car and the vehicle is locked, Jay leads his husband to the elevator and eventually through the hallway to their apartment. After drinking ungodly amount of water, brushing teeth and changing clothes, all with Jay's help, Yn is finally comfortably laying in their bed, curled up to Jay's side.

Jay kisses his forehead, wishes him a good night's sleep and closes his eyes. He can sense the matress dip as Yn moves and feels his lips press on Jay's moments later. Jay doesn't question it.

They're an affectionate couple. They've shared dozens of kisses - greeting pecks, loving and innocent ones, some passionate and desperate in heated moments, but none like this one.

It's slow, somewhat sensual but without purpose or a goal.

"What was that for, huh?" Jay asks jokingly, supporting himself on his elbow as they pull apart. Usually, Yn would respond in the same manner, teasing or light-hearted sarcasm. But not tonight. His expression is still, lips unmoving, eyes unreadable.

"I love you." He breathes and Jay's whole body tenses in response.

"Wha-what did you say?" Jay's voice is pathetically meek as he punches the question out of his chest with great difficulty.

"I love you." Yn repeats, clearly and slowly.

"I love you." He says one more time, before exhaustion and the alcohol in his system take their toll and Yn blacks out, leaving a shocked Jay behind.

The man is frozen in his previous position, dealing with several emotions at once, trying his best to make sense of the situation and failing miserably. He comes to the conclusion that all he can do right now is pray that Yn doesn't forget.

A/n: guys I finally saw Dune part 2 and Lady Jessica still owns my entire existence. I would also gladly let Chani shove her blade into my neck but that's a story for another time.

taglist CLOSED

@starchasing-cryptid @onementally-unstabel-kid @nootnootpinguuu @kkurbys @gnusihcom @silkentides @monstaxpuppy @bubblztaro @bleedingxheartt @zzzavid @thishastwentyletters @dkmyman @tarotarosung @darlingz99 @moonslie04 @lampcults

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[collegecuckcakev3]

Had some fun this weekend

Mom started it off Friday night by having her fuck buddy. It has been a few months. He has been hooking up with other women in the meantime. The two reconnected very loudly though, it didn't stop me from sleeping.

Saturday @miss-emelia-switch and I had a movie date. Nothing sexual but just giving her a mention.

Bestie and I swapped houses for the night. It has also been a while. So many sicknesses going around it always seemed if I wasn't sick someone else was. TBH I didn't fully commit to it and just did a quick prep after dinner. I had nothing planned since I haven't been in a sexual mood this week due to reasons some of you know. Nonetheless bestie's mom met me at the door and kissed my anklet to welcome me in her home. I ran to and hugged my BF and kissed him like lovers who haven't seen each other in a while. She took the bag I dropped beside her to our room. Yes, I call it our room while I'm there not their room. But, I had an idea. I wanted to fuck but in a warm cozy bed since it was getting cold last night. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs. However, I didn't want to go to our room. I wanted him to fuck me in his daughter's bed. It's been way too long since he fucked me there. So, we started when bestie's mom came in. I snapped my fingers and pointed to the corner. She knew what it meant. I walked over to her hamper and took out a worn thong and threw it at her mother. I told her she can edge watching us but only if she has her daughter's thong in her mouth. She gave it a few sniffs first and some licks before it went into her mouth and her hand went to her needy cuckquean cunt. He fucked me good and slow. We took out time to reconnect. Every so often I would look over at bestie's mom naked in the corner sucking on her daughter's thong. I would flip her off. She would rub harder. I sucked him a bit. We fucked in a few different positions. While I was riding him I snapped my fingers and pointed to my pussy. She crawled over and began licking my clit. It felt like heaven as I exploded with my first of several orgasms last night. He followed and unloaded in my pussy. I climbed off him and laid on my best friend's bed with her father's cum leaking out of my pussy. She cleaned him and he left us. I made her look at my freshly fucked pussy watching her husband's cum leaking out on her daughter's sheets. I made her beg. I could see she wanted it but she had to beg. Finally I let her have my creampie. The two of us laid in her daughter's bed after and just recovered. I teased her a bit and rubbed her cunt. She played with my nipples. Taking turns licking, sucking them. Even lightly biting them a bit. The three of us eventually wound back up in the family room and having some drinks and chatting. Me in a robe, bestie's mom was allowed some clothes as well since it was so cold.

When it was time to go to bed for the night I snapped my fingers and pointed to bestie's room as she and I walked past. I told her, "Not with us tonight fucking cuck. I want some alone time with your husband. You can sleep in the sex spot on your daughter's bed. Feel free to raid her hamper for more underwear. or use the ones I wore over here." And with that she went to her room for the night and he and I went to our room for a night of nice warm cuddles, sex, romance, intimacy, more sex and dirty talking his wife and daughter while we played with each other. We woke up, had breakfast, a nice shower (it has become a ritual for her and I to shower and clean each other and have some girl fun), I had her change bestie's sheets and wow there are a few cum stains on her mattress and I believe her father an I are the cause for most of those! For not having anything planned we certainly had a good time and she was a very turned on cuckquean last night and this morning.

[madlittlecriminal]

Hiya! It was my 21st on the 17th! Could I get a birthday request with any of the following characters?

Spencer Reid Miguel O'Hara Eggsy Jonathan Crane Hobie Brown.

As always Im a sucker for confession stories and major fluffiness haha

GN!Reader's Birthday [blurbs]

omg happy belated birthday love! i hope your birthday was amazing! i did all of them because i love them all and i couldn't decide.

Warnings: age gap, fluff, mentions of alcohol

note: hi. if you're new, welcome! i typically write my characters soft. any character here that you feel is out of character is because im a firm believer that they are soft strictly for their s/o no matter how grumpy or evil they are.

------

Spencer Reid (established relationship):

With a memory like his, your birthday would always end up in you being spoiled with your favorite things. This year was different since you both were dating, and he wanted to make it extra special for you. Not only did he get you your favorite cake flavor, but he also took the whole week off of work for you, wanting to make it extra special for you. He cooked a dinner for you...but the recipe was wrong, so the food was a bit saltier than anything else, so you both just ordered take out instead and watched your favorite movie on the couch and cuddling.

Miguel O'Hara (friends to lovers/confession):

You were one of the few people he liked, so when Jess mentioned it was your birthday, he mumbled a soft "mierda" (shit) before rushing out of his office and heading to a nearby panadería (bakery) and bought a cake, asking the man behind the counter to write your name on it and rushing back to the Society building. Funny enough, your name was now smeared all over the cake, making you laugh when you saw it. You would thank him, and he'd smile. To you, that was the best birthday gift you could ask for...right? Well, it would've been if Miguel didn't end up turning into a major softy and confessed his love for you.

Eggsy (established relationship):

He would invite you to a pub to celebrate with a few drinks after taking you out to dinner. Naturally, he would tell the waiter that it was your birthday, so the other waiters and waitresses would come out with a dessert and sing the happy birthday song. You were in between wanting to hate him or wanting to love him since he got you a free dessert but made a big deal out of it. At the pub, he'd buy your favorite drink (alcohol-free or not) and would simply just talk to you about his job that you knew had nothing to do with tailoring suits. The night would eventually end with him giving you a ride home and kissing you goodnight.

Jonathan Crane (friends to lovers/confession):

This man was something else. He wasn't sure what to do for your birthday and he was stressed. The one time when you both became best friends, he gifted you the knowledge of knowing he was Scarecrow...but that was two years ago. He was losing his mind on what to do, so he kept it simple and invited you to his place for a movie. He tried baking a cake, he really did, but this man was a whiz in the kitchen of a lab, not of a home. He gave you a shy smile when he showed you the burnt cake and you thanked him for at least trying. Instead, he lit a pumpkin shaped candle and told you to make a wish; he decorates early for Halloween, don't judge him. The night ends with you cuddled up against him after he told you he loved you more than a friend.

Hobie Brown (established relationship):

To say that he confused you in the best way was an understatement. He told you birthdays weren't his thing, but it seemed like for you, he would do absolutely anything. He bought you cupcakes to celebrate and told you his gift would be different than every other year. It kind of saddened you since you loved going on protests with him, but alas, you waited for the gift. When he took out his electric guitar and played a song you didn't recognize with it. Once he was done, you tilted your head to the side, and he told you he wrote it for you as a gift for your birthday. You would then thank him and gave him a kiss on his cheek. You both shared the cupcakes, but you drew a smiley face on his cheek with some icing, causing him to laugh and kiss you softly.

[ariundercovers]

The Bridge (When Paths Cross Pt. IX, Javier Peña x Reader)

Pairing: Javier Peña x Afab!Reader (No use of y/n!)

Length: ~3.6k words

Series Summary: Chucho's been like a father figure to you since he helped you out of a sticky situation on your second day in Laredo. What happens when you finally meet his son, the former-DEA agent, who just happens to ignite you in a way that you haven't felt before?

Chapter Summary: The next morning. A surprise meeting and a long-anticipated conversation.

Chapter Warnings: no porn only plot, angsty fluff, spanish nicknames, idiots in love, references to suicide, death/references to death (external character).

A/N: If you're so inclined, please drop a like and a reply/reblog! I live for your feedback, and it keeps me going and keeps me writing. Did you like it? love it? hate it? I want to hear all of your thoughts! And of course, just lmk if you'd like to be added to the taglist, too!

PREVIOUS PART (VIII) HERE

It’s a very sleepy, stress free morning that starts perfectly - with you waking up in Javi’s arms. You don’t think either of you moved, hardly an inch, over the course of the evening. Chucho is up early to take care of the cattle, which leaves you two with an empty house and… well, virtually nothing to do to fill the time. You can only hope that he’ll be willing to talk to you, to have a real conversation about all of this mess you’ve been stewing in over the course of the week.

You’re in the kitchen with Javier, moving around him as you set out to make a pot of coffee. It’s a well-rehearsed dance at this point - you make the coffee, Javi makes the pancakes, one of few actual meals he knows how to put together. You move wordlessly around one another for a long while, and its Javi is the one who breaks the silence partway through the morning meal you’ve been preparing together. 

“Care to go for a ride with me?”

“A ride?” You question.

“Yeah. Take the horses, go for the day. There’s somewhere I want to take you.”

You look over at him eagerly and you agree, of course. How could you ever say no? You’re still not sure where the two of you stand in all of this, and a conversation still hasn’t happened yet, but you figure this might be the best opportunity you have available to get him talking. 

After you have your pancakes and coffee, you set out to gather up what supplies you’ll need for the day. You haven’t been on a ride this long before, so you pester Javi about what it is exactly that you need to bring. You pack yourselves a couple of sandwiches and a few drinks, stash them in a bag on Javi’s horse’s saddle, and head out to your destination which is… you’re not even sure where it is. The ranch is too big to be able to easily navigate on your own, so you just trust Javi and trot along behind him. 

It’s peaceful, silent even, as you ride along one of the cow paths that laces through the massive property. When you come to a large clearing, one you’re not quite sure you’ve seen before, he slows, coming up next to you as your horses continue along. 

He turns to you with an easy smile and announces, “I wanna take you to visit my mama.”

You’re shocked, to say the least. Shocked, confused, surprised, and, admittedly, a little bit concerned. Javi has never once spoken about his mother. You never asked, never pushed, because you figured it would’ve come up by now if he wanted to talk about it. You also figured he’d tell you the story of why she wasn’t around eventually, so you didn’t want to push or overstep. There were plenty of other things to talk about in the meantime.

But now, staring back at his timid but eager expression, you’re lost thinking about it. Who is she? What is she like? Will she even like you? You can feel a pit of nervousness boiling in your stomach, starting to worry already about how this might go. 

But more importantly, you’re stuck on the why. Why now, of all moments, would he introduce you to his mother? After the biggest fight you’ve ever had, after literally walking out on him the other night, after Javi virtually admitted to you that you didn’t have a future together.

”Your mother?” 

It’s all you can manage to say in response, taken aback so sharply by the suggestion. He nods back at you and his smile turns somber as he looks back into the seemingly empty distance in front of you.

“Not too much longer, cariño. We’ll be there soon.” He takes off on a trot again, back into the lead between the two of you. Following diligently, you watch as different gated pastures and trees and orchards pass by - some in better repair than others. You’ve only been out this far once, when Chucho gave you the official tour so long ago, now. You realize it must be a lot for Chucho to have been managing all of this on his own for so long, impossible to keep up with even the daily maintenance it would’ve required. You’re glad Javi is home to help. Chucho needs it.

You continue for some time, past the boundaries of what felt to have at least a modicum of familiarity to you. You didn’t realize how far the property went, sprawling in either direction along the river’s edge. Eventually, Javi slows once again, and you pull up next to him, watching as he dismounts with a graceful ease that you know you can’t replicate. You jump off as well, and he leads the horses over to a tree where they can graze freely while you’re here. 

Looking around, you’re confused. There’s no house, or building anywhere around you. You can’t imagine where someone would live all the way out here, so you wonder if perhaps you’re making a pitstop somewhere else first. Javi breaks you out of your reverie when he reaches over, hesitantly, and laces his fingers between yours, ending with a heavy squeeze of your palm. Javi’s fingers tap lightly against the back of your hand as he leads you into the field just up ahead, and that’s when you finally see it. A few hundred yards in front of you, a large billowing tree filled with beautiful full green leaves overshadows a few small stones - they’re headstones, you realize. 

Suddenly everything clicks into place. Why you’ve never been out here before, why there was no building around, why this seemed like such an odd place to meet Javi’s mother. 

Javi’s brought you to his family cemetery.

Your chest tightens immediately and a lump gets stuck in your throat as you piece it all together. The only thing you can think to do is squeeze his hand with your own, pulling it into your chest so that you can hold it with both of yours for a moment. He turns, glancing over at you with a look of gentle concern, and he can see the tears welling in your eyes that threaten to spill over.

“I’m sorry if I’ve never talked about her before. It’s… hard to talk about.” You nod back at him and offer him another light squeeze before releasing his hand back into the grasp of only one of yours.

“Don’t apologize for that. You don’t need to.” He nods back at you and you fall into an easy silence as you walk the remaining distance to the headstones, just three of them placed around the tree. Two, toward the back, look older - you figure they must be a set of grandparents or similar - and another one, newer, but still well worn, sits in front. He leads you to it and stares down at the stone. You read it once, then twice, and another five or six times until it finally sinks in. She was 43, and Javi was only 19 when he lost her. You can’t begin to imagine how traumatic that must have been.

He releases your hand, then, and takes a moment to smooth out his pants first, then his shirt, pushing his hands into the pockets, like he’s trying to make sure he looks presentable enough. The tears that were brimming at your water lines slip past the barrier and roll down your cheeks when he finally speaks up.

“Hey, mami. I know it’s been a while.” Your gaze flicks from the headstone to the side of Javi’s face, another few stray tears falling from your lashes. “Just wanted you to meet this one over here.” He reaches for your hand again, clasping it tightly with his own, bringing it up to his lips to kiss for a moment before he tells her your name, and introduces you as ‘his girl.’

You smile at that. There wasn’t another word for it that worked better. Girlfriend didn’t feel right. Too juvenile, not serious enough. But you weren’t anything more than that either, not yet. It warms your heart to know that he still thinks of you that way, even after everything. Especially after the way that you walked out on him the last time you were here.

Javi starts to speak, then, like he’s talking to someone right in front of him. “I miss you. Bad. All the time. I’m sorry I don’t visit like I used to. It’s been too painful. Easier to just run away, I think. But I wanted you to meet her. Needed you to, I think.” You blink back some more tears and just let him speak, watching as he gets down onto his knees and sits back on his heels. “I hope you’re proud of me. I know I’m not so proud of me most days anymore, but I hope you are. I only ever wanted to make you happy. I miss you.”

Raising his fingers to his mouth, Javi presses a kiss to them before placing his hand gently on the earth in front of him. “I love you, mami,” he adds before standing. He pulls you in front of him, then, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind as he buries his face into the side of your neck. You can feel his heavy breathing and the way his breath breaks, like he’s holding back his own tears. There’s nothing you can do but hold tightly to him and let him ride it out however he needs to, so you do exactly that.

You don’t know how long you’ve been standing there, staring, with Javi’s strong arms wrapped tightly around you, when he finally releases his crushing grip and stands at your side once more. Reaching for your hand again, he turns and leads you back toward the horses in silence before you take a seat together beneath the tree he had them lashed to. It’s a long ways away now, but your eyes keep darting to the headstones at the base of that tree as you sit in silence. You can’t help but wonder so many things about it, how it happened, why, why here, why now. 

Javi scoots in close to you and leans his head against yours, turning to press a kiss to your forehead briefly before he finally speaks up.

“I’m sorry to surprise you with this.” You sigh softly and turn so that you can look him properly in the eyes.

“No, Javi… don’t. Don’t apologize. Not for this.” He nods back at you and closes his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb for a moment.

“I just… this is really hard for me. Trying to force myself to open up about it. But I want you to know. I need you to, I think.” You try to offer him the easiest smile you can manage, eyes softening as you reach out to place a palm gently on the side of his cheek. You can't help it but to use your thumb to smooth out a few stray mustache hairs, while you’re at it.

“Okay. Then I’m listening,” you finally respond. Javi takes a long, slow breath, looking up at the sky as he exhales before looking back down to you. He starts, slowly, like he’s thinking about each and every word as he speaks.

“My mom was the love of my life. She was… everything. My whole world. But she, um…” He clears his throat, shaking his head as he looks over toward you. “Sorry. Didn’t think this would be as hard to talk about after all these years.” He pauses for a moment longer as he blinks a few times, shaking his head softly. “My parents loved each other more than I’ve ever seen anyone love another person. Ever. It was so clear to everyone who came around them.  And when she…”

His eyes flutter closed and he drops his head, taking another deep breath, almost like it pains him to do so. You can see the agony on his face, in his body posture. It’s everywhere. “When she left us, everything shattered. And I… well, I promised myself I’d do anything in my power not to feel that kind of pain again. Even if it meant pushing people away, running away. All of these things you’ve seen me do now… that Pops has had to watch me do time and time again. Everything that happened in Colombia. I thought it would be easier.” 

Inching closer to him, you reach out timidly for his hand, lacing your fingers together as you offer him whatever gentle affections you can without breaking his train of thought.

“But then you showed up, and you rocked my entire world. Everything I had demanded, decided for myself, suddenly felt wrong, and I was afraid. I was afraid and so I pushed you away, trying not to let myself fall into it. But I did, anyway. You made it impossible not to.” You just smile back at him, thumb rubbing along the back of his palm.

“I’m scared, muñeca. Absolutely fucking terrified of feeling all of this all over again. Whether it's now, or ten years from now, I know it’s coming. And I don’t know if I can take it.” He shakes his head more viscerally this time, looking at you then, pleading silently. “No. I know I can’t. 

“Baby…” You can’t help but answer him, try to offer him some amount of reassurance. “You’re putting on the brakes for something that you can’t even see. Something that might not even happen.” His eyes close again and he drops his head, squeezing your hand softly once.

“I know. Logically, I know that. But I can’t make that fear go away. It’s just always… there.” You sigh and cock your head to the side, hoping to get a look at his face, but you can’t manage it.

“Can you look at me, Javi?” His head lifts, eyes watery as he looks at you with the softest, most somber expression you’ve ever seen on this so often so cocky and sure of himself kind of man. You have a million things to say, but you want him to have the chance to talk through things first, before you start. So you try to open with an easy question, or so you think. “Can I… Can I ask what happened to her?”

He stares at you for a long moment before he lets out a deep breath and his lips part like he’s going to speak. There’s a tense silence between you before he begins. “She… took her own life. She never left a note, or anything. Just… did it. Left me and Pops alone to fend for ourselves.” Your eyes widen and your heart absolutely shatters for him, reaching for his other hand so you have both in your own, now.

“Javi… oh God, I’m so sorry. I can’t… I can’t even imagine.” He nods and offers you an uneasy smile as a tear slips down his cheek.

“I know. It's okay.” He reaches out with a gentle hand to wipe away the tears from your face, and you do the same for him, both of you smiling sadly at each other for the moment. “I don’t mean to be such a sap,” he adds.

“That kind of hurt doesn’t just go away, Javi. It’s okay to be a sap about it, to still feel it so viscerally.” He takes a second to think about it before he answers.

“I know. That’s kind of my point. I feel it every single day. Every time I think about her, I feel it over and over again. It’s less than it used to be, that pain has faded a little bit, but it's still there. And I can’t… I just can’t imagine going through it again. So I thought if I made these rules for myself, if I didn’t let myself get into the kind of situation where I’d have to feel that kind of pain again, that things would be easier. No strings, no attachments, just me and my own sanity, you know?” You nod, starting to understand why he’s built these walls around himself so thickly, with such tough and seemingly unbreakable materials. It’s all starting to finally make sense to you.

“Yeah, I get it. It’s a coping mechanism. Just… a really long-term one, right?” He nods affirmatively and gives your hands a little squeeze.

“Yeah. Exactly that.”

“And you’re telling me this to… explain why you won’t think about the things I asked you? Or- are you…” You can’t manage to get yourself to speak the words. Luckily, Javi swoops in and speaks them for you.

“Yes and no. Yes, because that’s why I said the things that I did. That’s the reason. No, because I… well… fuck. You, uh… you managed to burrow yourself in there pretty deep already. And the thought of losing you right now is killing me. It’s killing me. It feels almost as bad as when I lost my mom, it’s just different. And I can’t do it. I can’t lose you, not now.” His eyes are still watery as he speaks, and all you want to do is lean in and kiss the tears away, but you know better than to do that. You have to have this conversation, first.

“I understand. At least I think I do. And I’m sorry, Javi, for storming out like I did. That wasn’t right of me.” You know he’s not the only one at fault here, your reaction not being the best, either, however warranted it may have felt at the time.

“No, no… I wasn’t treating you right. You had every right to walk out on me, cariño. I shouldn’t have been acting like that.” You nod and sigh, one hand reaching out to card softly through his hair, behind his ear, before it comes to rest in your lap once again.

“You can’t just dictate things at me like that again, though. It’s not okay. This is a partnership, right? Between the two of us? We need to talk about things, talk about our wants and desires and make choices that let us both compromise a little. Make each other happy, you know?” He nods, face falling slightly.

“I know, I know. I do. I didn’t do a good job of that. I shouldn’t have ever just blurted that all out at you and then not been willing to talk about it. That was fucked up.” You smile, sitting up a little taller before you continue.

“I was wrong, too, though. Storming out when things get tough doesn’t work, either. We’ll never get anywhere if that’s my response. It was a bad reaction on my part.” He chuckles lightly and offers you a half-smile.

“Kind of warranted though, wasn’t it?” You laugh nervously for a moment and then shake your head vigorously.

“No, not to that degree. I totally lost it.” He nods, understanding what you mean, luckily.

“Alright. How about we start this over? Can I ask that of you?”

“Of course, you can. We can do this - we can figure this out. I know it.” Your face is hopeful as you look at him, wishing for him to be willing to level with you, for you both to be able to move on and keep growing from this.

“Yeah. I like that plan.” A heavy breath releases that you weren’t aware you were holding back, and it feels like the world has left your shoulders. You’re not sure how you expected this conversation to go. Likely, badly, if you’re just being honest with yourself. And the truth of the matter is that it’s gone a lot better than you expected it to. You feel lucky. Not everyone would be willing to open up to you in the way Javi just has. And you feel honored - honored to know, honored to be a part of his and of Chucho’s lives. You didn’t realize before just how much you want that. 

“I’m sorry, cariño. I’m so sorry,” Javi adds.

“I’m sorry, too,” you counter.

There’s an easy silence between the two of you as you sit and just look at each other for a long while. His fingertips roam the backs of your palms and your thumbs brush softly across the backs of his.  You let yourselves just bather in the long moment of silence before you continue. There’s one more hint on your mind that you have to know, have to get off of your chest. 

“So can we… can we talk about that stuff? It doesn’t need to be now. Just… sometime.” He nods, reaching for the sides of your face to pull you in for a kiss. It’s the lightest, most gentle kiss you think you’ve ever had - lips barely grazing over one another’s, just enough to know that you’re both there, together.

“Yes. Te prometo, muñeca. Juntos. We’ll make those decisions as a couple, I swear it.” You smile back at him and sit up slightly, your hands overlapping his on your face. “Together, this time. No unilateral decisions from either of us, okay? I promise.”

“Okay, Javi. I promise, too. Together.”

~~~

A/N: So I know this was an intense one. I took a LOT of inspiration from some of the things Pedro has talked about regarding his own mother in this, so I'm curious if anyone picked up on that. This is the last fluff/angst chapter for now - back to our regularly scheduled smutting and fluffing soon, I promise!

xoxoxo

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