#first movie as different characters that are still somehow kind of identical to the ones they played previously.

[mariocki]

Return of the Living Dead: Part II (1988)

"Is it serious?"

"Is dead serious?"

[neyafromfrance95]

Can I just say I kind of feel sorry for the writers because you can tell they conceived the show as revolving around Haladriel and they really don’t want to deal with the Celeborn issue so they play lip service while writing something completely different lol.

To be fair though Tolkien himself wasn’t interested in him or him and Galadriel as a pairing especially when you compare how he writes his epic romances. It really feels like he was put there so we can get Arwen pretty much. And then she leaves without him to Valinor while he’s left mourning her which 🤣.

But yeah as far as the show goes if they didn’t want fans to see Haladriel as romantic they would have shown her grieving Celeborn…instead of falling in love with her arch enemy. This is just my opinion though but you can’t say how much she loves and grieves Celeborn while showing the complete opposite on the show. There was a way to center the relationship between her and Sauron without it being framed as romantic/soulmates but they didn’t which tells you everything you need to know.

exactly!

even before trop, it has been believed that the only reason tolkien wrote celeb0rn was to somehow connect galadriel to arwen and elrond.

the initial plan was for gal to marry elrond, but tolkien wanted galadriel to be the leader in her own right (it is her main defining trait) and keep doing her own thing. he did not want her to be defined by her husband/child. if she was married to elrond, she would be known as elrond's wife/arwen's mother first. so he gave her a npc family in the background instead.

but even then, i'd say her relationship with elrond is still more important in the books. and in the movies, she even seems closer to gandalf, lmao. so i'd say it would be better to focus on her relationship with elrond and establish her friendship with gandalf rather than introduce a new love interest (bc yeah, even if it's not explicitly romantic, haladriel is romantically framed).

btw, don't even get me started about how everyone seems to forget about finrod??? the one galadriel misses, the real "third" between her and sauron, her "guiding light" IS FINROD! nenya symbolizes galadriel's desire for power = sauron and galadriel's light/wisdom she got from finrod! nenya was made by sauron's design and using finrod's dagger! it's like sauron and finrod's battle continues within galadriel.

i don't dislike celeb0rn, but i think it's crazy that he was created so that galadriel can't be reduced to the domestic role and yet certain segments of the fandom do that anyways - reduce her to being her npc family's wife/mother in the show that intends to explore other aspects of her story and identity!

and idk man, but i feel like tolkien must have had some ideas for sauron and galadriel. "he gropes ever to see me and my thought" feels very significant. and they mirror each other in several ways as well.

trop does a fantastic job at giving this dynamic context. galadriel's greatest desire is to possess power, sauron's greatest desire is to posses the light. it makes sense for them to have a push-pull dynamic that's both intimate and cosmic in its' essence. the perfect way to expand on all the little details connecting sauron and galadriel in the lore. and it's just a fascinating story on its' own!

it would be such a waste to discard this dynamic for the sake of introducing the character that was never supposed to be that important. especially considering that the writers seem to have the show conceived with haladriel as its' core in their minds.

[samthetrekkie]

I feel like I've abundantly established that I don't think the tos movies are the best ones ever made and this one was especially wild to me, but I still do have a soft spot for all of them. I never leave thinking "oh, I didn't like that", even if there were entire scenes were I was like ??? and/or second hand embarrassed. (think, uhura dancing naked, them thinking the alien on the planet is literally god). but then sybok asking when the pain began and spock goes "this is the scene of my birth" was way too funny to me (sorry spock). and the turbo boots scene in the jeffries tube was also really entertaining in a slapsticky way.

the general plot was a bit strange, but it actually reminded me of og tos episodes. at the same time, that's not necessarily a good thing… I liked the shore leave scenes, even though they were a bit long considering how short the movie was. it also reminded me of those old, unauthorized tos books (even though I've never actually read any of those) where they recycle typical tos episodes, but make it a little larger and filled with some non-canon info, like the random pairings. I do think scotty and uhura are kind of cute though! it came out of nowhere, but it kind of makes sense to me. (why do they call each other by their last names though?) and then cut to chekov and sulu in the woods bickering like a couple. makes sense as well. but why are these people serving on the same ship in the same positions again after they've become really high ranking officers? I think it actually made a lot of sense in wrath of khan that e.g. chekov was a first officer on a different ship and spock captain. but considering this, it makes a lot of sense that some (all) of them are bound to date each other at some point. it's like going to class with the same people for 8 years.

I surprisingly liked spock leaning more into his human side and being emotional than usual. it makes sense in my head that, after he was reborn, he kind of saw how short life was and that there was no need to keep up a facade at all times, but still not lose his identity. similar to seven in picard, I am always worried about autistic-coded characters changing their personality heavily after a while, but with spock it feels quite natural and it even worked with seven in the later picard seasons. I just think it's all about the balance. like I enjoy those characters being more comfortable, especially around friends and loved ones, but they shouldn't change entirely how they are and still seem "reserved". and I think leonard nimoy especially did well in that, even if this script gave him some out of character lines I think (like the "damn you, sir!"). have I already mentioned I think leonard nimoy is the best actor in tos…?

speaking of spock's rebirth and rethinking, I do see him being more open with kirk (I almost wrote jim, but that feels weird) and they had very much a married couple vibe in this movie. even the little maritial crisis in the brig was there. so I'd like to think kirk finally made a commitment :) and while there were not too many one on one scenes with these two, the next to last scene was more than one could wish for, spirk-wise. their intense eye contact and "please captain, not in front of the klingons" while standing extremely close to one another and kirk grabbing spock. like I've seen so many posts that shatner denies there was anything between kirk and spock, but the way he played kirk, I mean come on. I'm sure there wasn't a direction in the script that said "kirk stares lovingly up at spock". but he fully did in this scene! we have proof! and kirk holding on for dear life to spock as he rescues him with the turbo boots in the jeffries tube was also something. I mean of course you need to hold on, but kirk was embracing spock with a closeness different than mccoy did. (but then there is this strange thing with mccoy, where I keep thinking: is he third wheeling or is this a three way relationship? I somehow can't see mccoy fitting in with kirk and spock's romantic vibe and I don't see him in an erotic way in general but… tumblr is giving me ideas...)

a very long winded post to say: superfluous, but overall enjoyable movie. while watching, I also suddenly had flashbacks that this was the first (!) piece of star trek that I had ever (consciously) watched. it was on tv when I was like 10 and I kept zapping away and was surprised when it was still going and was like: isn't this supposed to be a tv show? and my dad, who grew up watching tos, had no memory of there ever being star trek movies in the 80s. he also had never heard of pretty much any star trek shows after tos at that point, so he was living under a rock, apparently. anyway, some of the scenes of this movie were really etched into my mind and I honestly think one of the subconscious reasons I wanted to watch tos was to get context to these scenes! (of course besides me wanting to watch all of star trek from the beginning.)

[mask131]

Some times ago Neil Gaiman posted on his Tumblr blog about a project he had of, if I recall correctly, a movie adaptation of “Journey to the West”. One of the reasons he gave as to why he gave up on the project was that he realized that this work didn’t need to be retold by an European - I do not have the exact quote, I am just saying things out of memory. This post, and the topic of “Should non-Chinese people make fictional works based on Journey to the West?” made me think back to a book that would have made me answer “Yes, non-Chinese people can retell Journey to the West”. And this book would have made me answer that - if I had been asked - because it is such a beautiful and funny book. I even hesitated to share about it here because this book is truly one of my little treasures. I read it when I was a pre-teen and it marked me deeply and if I were ever to lost it I’d buy it again because I couldn’t imagine having a library and not having this book with me. And it isn’t just teenage nostalgia speaking because, re-reading it as an adult, I still find new entertainments and fascinating meanings and implications that I completely missed as a young kid not knowing much. 

I had a bad literature school-teacher at the time and when she heard about me reading it, she answered that it wasn’t good for young minds to read these kind of works because they “mixed the genres” and blurred the lines of the categories of literature - she much preferred that kids would have much more categorized works that clearly and easily fit into one genre or the other. That’s the kind of bad literature teacher you’ll probably all recognize somehow, and this already places this book as one of the things these people do not like. But to take this book merely to spite those that wrongly understand literature would be a shame, because this book deserves to be loved on its own for the shere amount of work, poetry and love that its own author put into it.

This book is probably the greatest French reimagination of “Journey to the West” I can think of - it is “Le Singe Egal du Ciel”, “The Monkey Equal to the Sky”, by Frédérick Tristan, originally published in 1972, but still printed to this day. And before the Journey to the West purist start attacking me like rabid dogs, I insist on the term “reimagining”. It isn’t an adaptation of the work, and it is not a question of being a faithful translation of the original epic. It reimagines, re-arranges, re-creates the Journey to the West plot and characters into a story that is, on its structure and foundations, identical, and yet couldn’t be more different than it. And it is a good thing, because it is the power and strength of this book.

I heard that Tristan’s books were translated in English - which doesn’t surprise me given he is one of the great French authors of the late 20th century - but since I do not know if this specific book was translated, and under which title, I’ll use the French title translated into English, The Monkey Equal to the Sky. What is “The Monkey Equal to the Sky”? It is, as I said, Journey to the West retold, but condensed, trimmed down and cut short to fit into one nice fantasy novel of forty-two chapters. Some of you hearing that might feel some sort of self-righteous nausea, saying “If they cut down anything from the original plotline, it is not worth it, better read the full original”. But again this would miss the point of this wonderful book: to someone with bare knowledge or no knowledge of the original epic, it is a great introduction and first discovery, by having a shortened story centered around the key characters and events, while also being different enough so that when said nocive in ancient literature gets to read the original epic, they’ll have an entirely new world to discover. But to the other side, to those who are very familiar with Journey to the West, it will be a fun entertainment and deforming mirror, as Frédérick Tristan truly plays with the original text, creating a game of correspondances and analogies, uniting several different characters into one, inter-connecting strongly the “before” and “after” parts surrounding Sun Wukong’s imprisonment under the mountain, and ultimately making it even more obvious than the greatest monkey of them all is the main character and protagonist of the tale. 

Because this is what Tristan wanted to do before all: tell the story of Wukong, all about Wukong, as the protagonist, hero, antagonist and villain of his own tale all at once. The story might be changed, but trust me, the character of Wukong isn’t in the least, because this book is filled with the spirit of Journey to the West and the Monkey King, if not with the detail. I will tell you already the very bold move Tristan did, to really make this story even more about Wukong than it was originally: in Tristan’s novel, there is no Tripitaka. The monk that is charged with fetching the sacred texts in India and who is surrounded by three disciples is rather... Sun Wukong himself, or rather his fictional equivalent here, The Monkey-Equal-to-the-Sky (also undergoing his religious name, Aware-of-the-Vacuity, Conscient-de-la-Vacuité). It might seem like an insane thing to do, but it WORKS. Of course, those that will be looking for some of the readings of the epic - such as a dissection, exploration and study of the human soul, psyche and personality between the various impulses, emotions and vices, throughout the metaphorical characters of Tripitaka and his disciples - will be disappointed because Tristan’s novel is not a psychological one. But instead, what you have is a careful balance between existential horror and a cosmic farce - some sort of impossible mix of Lovecraft’s cosmic dread mixed with the world-questioning humor of Good Omens, and even then the comparison is a very poor one missing out on the very peculiar, unique and poetic feel of this novel. It is about this monkey, who is all powerful and yet constantly bound and chained by something, it is this monkey that clearly is the voice of reason of the world and yet acts like a madman, this monkey that is a living paradox - and the story is about how his very existence throws an ordered world into chaos and forces it to be rebuilt and undergo a full renewal. It is the story of how, by merely existing, this character that does both heroic deed and monstrous actions, challenges the very notions of supreme powers, of existence, and of reality. It is a buffoonic Shakespearian comedy where the trickster-monkey mocks, beats up and scams everyone and everything, it is an apocalyptic work where we see what happens when something unexpected and that should not exist destroys the very foundations of the world, and it is a philosophical and religious investigation as the monkey searches for, studies, explores and quests for the powers, the meanings, the morals and the truths behind religion, absolute purity, true virtue, and the world. 

It sounds like a LOT for a novel that is actually a shortened and condensed version of Journey to the West, but that’s the secret: by mixing various characters into new ones, by changing slightly the focus of the story, by giving new angles to some episodes and scenes, Tristan opens up a whole new space and vast expanses of literary terrain on which he adds tons of fascinating content and fresh details to retell the story with new meanings. Frédérick Tristan himself put a Warning in his text as a foreword, explaining the various inspirations of his work so that people did not mistook his novel for a mere adaptation of Journey to the West: because beyond the great Chinese novel we all know, he also took elements from other texts that also told of the legend of Sun Wukong (Journey to the West merely being the most famous and most complete of the various tellings of this ancestral legends), as well as various stylistic ingredients and poetic tones from the various historical translations of the work in Europe - such as the first French and British translations. In the same foreword, Tristan does spell out his intentions of completely reversing the original meaning of the novel by making Sun Wukong take the place of Tripitaka during the pilgrimage to India. 

And even beyond his extensive researches surrounding the figure of Sun Wukong himself, Tristan also slid in his novel various elements from both European and Asian traditions. European because he places here and there subtle references to European fairytale structures or old European myths (though I have to say they were subtle enough that I didn’t notice them until it was pointed out to me). As for the Asian inspiration, this allows me to break down another of the arguments people who do not know about about Frédérick Tristan might raise: what does an old white French dude knows about China anyway? As it turns out, a lot, and that’s not just his obsession with the Sun Wukong legend. Frédérick Tristan lived from the late sixties to the mid-eighties half of the time in Eastern and South-East Asia. He was at the time not a yet recognized author, but a mere specalist of the textile industry, forced by his father to inherit the textile business of the family against his son’s poetic and literary aspirations. His positions led him to work on official business matters in China, Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos - and during his trips, visits and stays there he became enamored and fascinating with their history and culture. China most of all became his main dream and subject of study: “The Monkey Equal to the Sky” is but the first of a series of six “Chinese novels” each one taking inspirations from various elements of Ancient China. Sometimes he retells and weaves stories based on Chinese myths, like with “The Monkey Equal to the Sky”, whereas other times he rather explores various religious and philosophical aspects of China through the means of fiction. In one he recreates the koan genre in the rules of the art, in another he proposes a fictional exploration of the roots and teachings of taoism, and in yet another novel he pays homage to the works and style of Pu Songling.

And if he knows so much about China, it isn’t just because he loves to write stories about it - he also published serious, profesionnal, recognized works about Ancient China. His most famous work being “Houng, les sociétés secrètes chinoises”, an essay about secret societies in China centered around the rites and practices of the Tiandihui. And his historical and cultural knowledge of Ancient China, its philosophies, its literature and its secret societies helped him recreate another semi-historical semi-mythical China for “Journey to the West” or rather an anti-Journey-to-the-West, to be played in. 

I could speak much more of Frédérick Tristan, of his work, and of the beauty of this novel, but I will merely say that, if you enjoyed Journey Through the West, and enjoyed its characters, you will definitively find Tristan’s novel very entertaining. And if you ever have the chance to read it in French, do so, because - again - I do not know if an English translation is available, and if it is I cannot attest of its quality since I never read it, but I hope the brilliantness and fun of the text will be carried on throughout the language barrier. 

[thehoodedsweater]

Since I’ve ranted about my OC Edward a lot here, I feel like I should explain how he would be if he was in the RGB cartoon!

I’m gonna yap so heads up lmao

First fact- Since Egon was made a blonde in the toon, I switched Edward to a brunette (even though he’s blonde in the main universe). Hair color switching is fun, and it also keeps his color palate from being too overwhelming! (This helps with Elizabeth too, since they’re siblings who are meant to look very much alike. Perhaps in one “Episode concept” they would attempt to switch identities and see who has the harder job.) Second- He has a tooth gap now. Just cause. I felt like it would be cute. It adds uniqueness for his expressions too. He also blushes a lot easier, for the sake of it being a toon.

Third- Since the toon seems to exaggerate/change their personalities a little, I made it so Edward’s anxiousness (and crushing on Egon if we’re gonna step into shipping territory) are heightened up to eleven. In the movie universe he’s a little anxious, sure (in the first movie he’s slightly anxious but relatively cheery and willing to help [think kind of like Louis, but not exactly], in the second movie he’s a lot more cynical and anxious due to going to law school and having to deal with the Ghostbusters again after five years [and the amount of trouble they get into]) but the toon would take it up a notch for the sake of comedy and plot. Fourth-He probably gets along with Peter just a little bit more? Due to the toon toning down Peter’s cynicism it makes for a different bond, other than the movie universe where Edward’s constantly at his throat for something stupid (for example, calling him “Eddie” and “Ed.”) In the toon world Edward would still be annoyed with him, but their bond is probably a lot closer than the movie universe. (Especially considering how long it would take for Edward and Peter to get along in it. They do care a lot, it just hides behind a TON of insults and banter. And unfortunately I’d imagine them leaving on pretty bad terms due to Edward leaving to the middle of nowhere [Summerville] without an explantation or leaving a note.)

Fifth-His cat, Kevin, would most likely be a reoccurring background character! Like Slimer, he probably runs around the firehouse and does his own stuff, he probably gets along with Slimer and that pisses Peter off.

Sixth-He would totally take the role of being a Ghostbuster at least once, like how Janine and Louis did. It was most likely because one was out sick/hurt and it causes a lot of chaos for Edward and his anxiety, as he volunteered without thinking to impress Egon. The “episode” idea I had was that Peter somehow got hurt and that resulted in him being unable to fight the ghosts, so Edward takes his place for the day. There’s a B plot of Peter having to do Edward’s “boring secretary work” with Janine, and by the end Edward gets his own Ghostbusters nametag (and maybe a kiss but idk) and the reassurance he did good. Just a wholesome little ending.

WOWWW THATS A LOT OF YAPPING (and I haven’t even STARTED on explaining what his role would be in the Extreme Ghostbusters cartoon..)

Uhm

hope you guys liked it? I know some of you seem to like my ocs and their story so I’m so glad to share it all with you! Thanks for all the support :))

and if you wanna hear more let me know!!

[the-owl-house-takes]

https://www.tumblr.com/the-owl-house-takes/730475922916081664/httpswwwtumblrcomthe-owl-house-takes73036985?source=share

Camila has her own life too.

Vee would have been left alone with no magic to help her sustain her identity in the human realm because she would not have returned to the BI

Also! As a disabled queer person it's sort of fucked up to me that you're taking the BI, which is a metaphor for unashamed queer identity and acceptance for outcasts and are like "Okay but what if segregation instead" because like. Fuck the Acceptability. I Don't care if my identity makes others uncomfortable. They'll have to sit and stew with that in their hearts and then die mad about it. Separating the weird from the normal is also thematically abhorrent, because "you shouldn't have to change who you are to be loved and accepted" is ALSO a theme of the series.

"And not to make a complete asshole who constantly lies out of her at the end of the series." really taking it personally that the 14 year old who was manipulated and used was afraid the only friends she ever made would turn against her if they knew she accidentally helped the big villain. Mad because she had a character arc even. "Constantly lies" Point at her habitual lying about literally anything that isn't her main character conflict in the first episode of season 3.

"And not to endow her with super anime power" You say as if you didn't also say that you would have preferred if it was like amphibia's ending. Famously known for being devoid of anime super powers.

"and not to allow her to defeat Belos ALONE, destroying the message that there are no chosen ones." Once again *points at previous point* Anne was more All By Herself and there was a Literal Prophecy in Amphibia (No shade, different story, different elements). Luz wasn't *chosen* by anyone. She died and was sent to the inbetween because she was selfless and raced to protect a child that didn't know any better. She was rewarded for her kindness with life being returned to her. She STILL needed help from the others to keep Belos from interfering in her ripping him off the heart with brute strength and magical enchantments. There were no prophecies. It's about rising to meet the challenge of oppressive authority. It's an anti-fascist message. And of course Luz was going to be the one with the most going on in the last fight, she's the damn protagonist. Avoiding that just to be ~subversive~ is also Bad Writing. The main protagonist will come into major conflict with the major antagonist as the climax, whether it is through fighting, or some other means *gestures at A:TLA*.

"As a result, she gets absolutely everything without deserving it and without incurring any losses." What did you want more characters to die? You're aware the team is still bound by the limits of their rating and also what Disney allows. She gets the Good ending because she FOUGHT for it. Every step of the way, with her VERY LIFE. She DID DIE. Even if it wasn't permanent. I think if a 14 year old Straight Up Died and was somehow brought back from being Actually Completely Dead then it might be good if they get to avoid hardship for a while. Plus, there is still the remaining threads regarding the Archivists to consider. If Disney allows for a sequel comic series or a movie or a tv series that isn't the prequel Dana wants about Eda specifically, then we have that existential conflict waiting.

"The ending isn't bad because the only one aspect failed. It's bad at almost everything." I think this is a situation where you walked into it with expectations that could never be met for a variety of reasons and you're just going to have to accept that you bought a cat and were incensed to find it didn't bark.

-

[reviewsclown]

Star Wars Attack of the Clones 2002

First post 9/11 movie and immediately there's a terrorist attack, people hate the confederacy even more than ever now, Obi-Wan and Anakin had a bit of a glow-up, they look good in these robes, Jar-jar shows up but he talks a lot less and also doesn't stick around so, they at least learned from the last movie. Anakin is weird about Amidala, dude you met her when you were like 5, it's been 10 years since then, it makes sense he's angsting over his slave mom he never saved instead of her. Anyways, he somehow very masterfully cut 2 bugs in half off of her without harming her or the bed, and Kenobi jumped out a window, very good banter between the 2 in the speeder chase, such a good relationship. Really feeling like the weird romance plot in this movie would be better if the first movie didn't exist, and this was actually Anakins and Amidalas first meeting, as bodyguard and bodyguard-ee you could make something interesting out of that. Dexter Jettster is neat, he an Obi-Wan are old friends and he knows knowledge that's hidden by the jedi, and also happens to be the hint towards plot progression, you think a species/planet(?) of cloners? would be pretty notable, but maybe it's something you want hidden, not common knowledge. Also it's stupid that they made the 'putting on a blindfold and dodging laser shots from a ball' official padawan training, you see a whole room of them doing it. That's just a thing Luke did once. The clone army is pretty neat, some guy who died was doing secret political machinations that no one knew about it until Obi-Wan happened to stumble across it, and of course it'll be put into use it'd be a waste not to, even if it's maybe not ethical to give the republic an genetically altered clones. Also Kaminoan architecture looks really good, it's something that works very well if you're making environments entirely out of CGI. The Jango and Obi-Wan fight just, really is not good looking at all, very interesting choreography choices, Jango Fetts an interesting guy though, bounty hunter who owns a ship called the Slave-One and used the cloning opportunity to have a son because maybe he's always wanted one? Maybe it's a vain mans legacy? who knows. I don't think it was very necessary to have Owen and Beru be actual blood relatives to Luke through Anakins mother, they should've just been kind people that took care of a kid that turned out to have history. Also Owens dad gets so racist about Tuskens that Anakin turns evil and goes on a dark-side revenge trip. This movie could almost be really good politically if it tried to actually be political and not a mainstream blend of shit that the average person would like, both sides secretly building a super big army of expendable guys through different methods. The treacherous count Dooku could be an interesting character with more depth, Qui-Gons master, the seperatist leader, the seperatists were kind of in the right about everything but none of the jedi saw it. They instantly removed all potential good-will by tying up prisoners in a gladiator slave pit with weird alien monsters to be killed, cant win 'em all I suppose? It exists entirely to do cool battle scenes with 30 jedi slicing through tons of chaff and aliens, also sets up Boba fett as, y'know, Boba fett from the original trilogy with his dad related angst, also the clones coming into play with their cool clone technology that has no relation to anything the empire has ever used for sure, with their big triangle ships and identical white armor and walkers. and the seperatists have their own big walkers and big ball space ships and literally invented the death star. Anyways, it's really a 'Attack of the Clones' outside, big things are coming that'll be adressed in the next movie

Beginning to see hints of ugly all-CGI movies in some shots in this, since they're doing entire big rooms with moving camera angles made entirely out of it, also some of the aliens are still a little plastic-y looking, somehow Watto looks even more racist than ever before, I don't know how they did it. Also they loved using very shiny chrome on some of the naboo ships and honestly, it looks pretty good, lots of shiny glare. The Geonosis droid factory is a similarly a very impressive entirely CGI environment. The actor for Anakin, not very good at expressing strong emotions, and there's a good few scenes where he's meant to show strong emotions and it doesn't work very well

Final Review: pretty good movie, I think, a lot better than the first because the things happening in it are actually important, good-ish politics bad-ish romance plotline, all will be answered in the sequel maybe possibly.

[mackerelphones]

Movies I've Watched Recently #3

Shanghai Express (1932): An average Hollywood film of the '30s, so don't expect The Third Man. The film continues for like 20 minutes after what should have been the finale. But it is interesting for depicting a setting rarely seen in Hollywood films: Republican China. Alas, the Chinese characters are primarily background extras. Most of the lead roles are comic relief (and sometimes racist) white people of various nationalities riding in the first-class part of the train. However, Anna May Wong plays an important role as Hui Fei. The star, though, is Marlene Dietrich, who portrays "Shanghai Lily," the "white flower" of Shanghai who lives as a dissolute coquette. The focus becomes her romance with a British officer. Rather troubling that Hui Fei is raped (!) and nobody but her seems to care

Daughter of Shanghai (1937): An even more forgettable Hollywood film of the '30s—or rather, it would be except that the main characters are heroic Asian Americans played by Asian American actors!! Wow! I had no idea there was a Hollywood film like that from the '30s. Our hero Lan Ying is played by, once again, Anna May Wong. The biggest issue with Daughter of Shanghai is a number of plot contrivances, especially after the gangsters catch Lan Ying and Kim Lee at the end of the second act—I think the main characters walking to a building that, by coincidence, is their friend's house (and somehow they don't recognize it) is the most ridiculous. The film would also have benefitted if the audience was in the dark about the identity of the villain until the third act, but the reveal is still surprising. Also, I could swear the dialogue calls the leading character "Lan Ying Quan," but the credits list her as "Lan Ying Lin." Maybe I got mixed up with an alias she assumes or something?

White Snake (2019): There isn't a dull moment in this one. The biggest problem is that the male lead, Xuan, is boring. He is a conventionally attractive selfless hero from start to finish. Xuan would be more interesting if, for instance, he is scared when he realizes Xiaobai (the white snake) is a snake demon/yaoguai, and then he runs away and then has an arc to make it up to her. Instead, Xuan has to be so perfect that, despite coming from a village of snake-hunters, the script clarifies that he specifically never killed any snakes, so he is even alleviated of the guilt of living in his flawed society. Very bland. It's also kind of bizarre that after (spoilers) Xiaobai finishes recovering the memories from the magic hairpin, her takeaway is not "Holy shit, my ENTIRE PEOPLE WERE WIPED OUT IN ONE DAY! And not only was it a total genocide, but THEIR SOULS WERE DESTROYED! THEIR SOULS!!!" Grief etc. Instead she ignores the fate of her people to long for the incredible, unparalleled reincarnation-transcending romance she had with this boring but dedicated hot boy she knew for about two days more than a century ago

White Snake 2: Tribulation of the Green Snake (2021): I have never seen a sequel more different than the original, except for Army of Darkness. Apparently Xuan's reincarnation actually has flaws because he abandons Xiaobai with their baby and turns to Fahai, who uses his Buddhist powers to seal Xiaobai under a pagoda (like in the old version of the story) and then to cast Xiaoqing into what the translation hilariously renders as "Asuraville." Lacking her former yaoguai powers, Xiaoqing instead relies on what is still probably superhuman speed, strength, and agility. Also guns. The plot is often rather contrived—where are these people getting a reliable supply of electricity (for the laptop) and consumer products? For someone in an unstable wasteland with no infrastructure, Sun is very casual about giving Xiaoqing a can of soda! But it's exciting and hits the emotional beats. Almost nonstop chases, beatings, stabbings, and action, to a degree that borders on comedic. Kind of feels like a video game. Also, White Snake 2 does NOT resolve the mid-credits stinger from White Snake

The Reflecting Skin (1990): A bonkers arthouse movie. In rural America in the 1950s, Seth is a horrible little boy who kills animals for fun, undergoes a series of traumatic incidents, and decides a morbid woman named Dolphin Blue is a vampire. She gives him a harpoon and encourages him to torture cats with fireworks. Near the end, Dolphin says, "It's all so horrible, isn't it? The nightmare of childhood. And it only gets worse." That's what the movie is about. That and Seth not understanding a damn thing that happens. Though it's a bleak and upsetting drama, the straight-faced presentation of one totally bizarre scene after another got a number of laughs out of me

Lupin III: Blood Seal of the Eternal Mermaid (2011): Lupin and his pals are too cuddly and nice in this one. When Jigen meets a mysterious woman in the house they're breaking into, he doesn't even hold her at gunpoint! Also, except Jigen of course, people in these Lupin movies have such bad aims. Bullets just refuse to hit Lupin and pals, even if there's a bunch of guys all spraying them with machine guns. Surprisingly, it ends with a Resident Evil boss fight. Also seemingly with the leading girls stranded in the middle of the ocean! Even Zenigata doesn't stop to help them! I guess they die of thirst. Sad

Event Horizon (1997): Too goofy at a few points, has some plot problems, and there are some questionable sound effect choices toward the end. This might not be a big deal because it still gave me the tense feelings and made my heart beat. The "Gateway" makes no sense at all. The Gateway is an artificial black hole that is contained within several powerful gravitational fields, and this device enables the folding of space-time. I can accept all this. But the Gateway is treated as, itself, a physical portal into the place the ship went. 1) It doesn't make any sense that this portal is inside the ship when the whole ship is what goes through the portal, since the Gateway is supposed to just be the engine, and 2) the Gateway is obviously not a black hole since it's made of liquid, it does not physically damage anything that goes through it, and something can be reeled out of it relatively easily, meaning there is no event horizon (ironically). Either I missed something or Event Horizon is just pretty stupid. The film would also probably be stronger without (spoilers) saying the other dimension is literally pure evil. That is also really stupid

Lupin III: Tokyo Crisis (1998): Turns out the bad guy from Blood Seal of the Eternal Mermaid is a lesser version of the bad guy from Tokyo Crisis. It's still a little too ridiculous (the roller coaster happens to have been designed with retractable blades to murder people on the tracks?), but to my surprise, this one was pretty good. I found the ending a little baffling, though. But why does Maria never appear in any other Lupin thing after this? Come to think of it, why doesn't she appear in Eternal Mermaid when Zenigata is in Tokyo in THAT one too?

[sleepymarmot]

High Noon (1952)

[Watched on November 30th]

Recently, around Thanksgiving, I came across a post mentioning a certain critically acclaimed western that also might be the vilest, most racist movie I’ve ever had the misfortune to see. Someone commented with a similar sentiment, and mentioned High Noon as a better classic western. So it suddenly jumped to the top of my watchlist, and the short runtime made it suitable for my hurried last-minute viewing session on the last night of the month. I appreciated the coincidence of the protagonist trying to prepare for noon while I was trying (and failing) to finish the movie by midnight. For one of us, the deadline was more literal than the other.

I was enjoyably disoriented by the beginning of the movie: until about halfway thorough I didn’t know who I was supposed to root for. The focus on the three young cool cowboys during the opening titles naturally associates them with the sympathetic narrator of the song. Then we see an old marshal marrying a girl young enough to be his daughter — is this going to be a film about the law being unjust, rigid, and conservative, are the outlaws going to liberate the girl from an unequal marriage? Well, apparently not, this isn’t the way High Noon chose to be subversive.

At the end, I expected either the townspeople to be overwhelmed by their guilty conscience and come out in support of the marshal, outnumbering the outlaws — or for the marshal to make one final grand speech and be tragically shot down. Then I remembered this was made under the Hays Code. Still, I was somehow surprised when the western’s climactic scene was… a shootout in which the protagonist showcased the superiority of his skills and spirit. (He saves the horses! That’s what proves him to be a good guy, above everything else.) It took me way too long to realize that the song was not just literally about the events of the film, but “Do not forsake me, oh my darling” is the heart of both: the wife stands by her husband, and it’s the two of them against the world (both the outlaws and the town). I guess love is real after all!

“Accidental marathon”: both the previous film and this one happen in real time. I swear I didn’t arrange this!

Other notes:

Nice cinematography. I’m fond of the high contrast black and white.

Took me the entire opening sequence to remember why that one face felt so familiar. (It was Lee Van Cleef.)

So so so hard to tell which of these identical men in identical clothes is which.

Helen has the kind of face I’ve only seen on drawings and paintings before.

Both Helen and Amy have equally weird accents in different directions.

The women are pretty stereotypical but they’re real characters. Wow!

This somehow ended up being my first Grace Kelly movie, even though Rear Window was one of my top candidates for the next viewing.

Re: the fistfight in the stable: stop it guys you’re scaring the ho(rs)es

I was losing attention in the middle (no fault of the film, I just have a broken sleep schedule, which is why I was postponing my monthly movie in the first place), but the action sequence woke me right up.

Wikipedia: “Lee Van Cleef made his film debut in High Noon. Kramer first offered Van Cleef the Harvey Pell role, after seeing him in a touring production of Mister Roberts, on the condition that Van Cleef have his nose surgically altered to appear less menacing. Van Cleef refused and was cast instead as Colby, the only role of his career without a single line of dialog.” Outrageous!

[woulddieforloki]

how did avengers loki get his hair to look like that is thanos torturing him but also supplying him with hair gel so he still looks pretty for him?

i am sending this anon because i dont want to admit i have thought too much about loki's hair in various mcu projects. earlier today i wondered whether his hair in thor was just gelled for styling reasons but then it looked a bit wrong on camera somehow and subsequent directors in the franchise saw it and assumed it was meant to be greasy and that's how raganorok happened. i support most of taika's choices with that movie but i cannot accept the idea that loki would ever allow his hair to get into that state.

i feel very strongly that based on general characterisation loki would wash his hair frequently and probably use all manner of products in it to the point where people mock him for it because wtf loki you take hours to get ready and you smell like a lush shop.

the disney plus loki show can be viewed as evidence that it was something to do with wigs and inferior styling products however one could also dispute that with a simple "no actor would let you do that to their real hair that is actually stuck to their own real head." perhaps the in-story explanation for this apparent discontinuity of grease is that mobius introduced his mischevious charge to shampoo, as mobius is quite clearly a man of impeccable grooming which now that i think about it may be intended symbolise his by-the-book bureaucratic (i had to google how to spell that) approach to his world prior to him having a character arc and coming to accept that workplace arson is the solution to most of his problems.

if that last paragraph has piqued your interest i have additional thoughts on sylvie's blondeness and what it might tell us about her character as well as how she might have accessed hairdressing products and/or services while on the run from the tva. i can supply these ideas via further anon messages if you wish to continue this correspondence.

if you somehow guess my identity from this anon message please pretend otherwise as i could never live with the shame of knowing that another human being is aware of how much i care about this and related issues.

kind regards and thank you for your time. and sorry. i only meant to submit that opening sentence but i got carried away by my hubristic nature, which i accept as the tragic flaw that will lead to my inevitable downfall.

i am fascinated by this ask omfg fhsaddkjlfhsjka

okay so I've thought a lot about Loki's hair too but most of said thoughts have been "oh my god I love Avengers Loki's hair" and "ughhh The Dark World Loki's hair does things to me" and "I will crash through my tv screen and wash Ragnarok Loki's hair myself if I have to" so now I really want to think of the in-universe explanations for his hair

first of all, I can totally see Thor (or Frigga or just somebody who's not him) doing his hair in the first movie, because that explains why it's never that neatly slicked back again.

then i think his hair grew a bit when he was with Thanos and before he made his dramatic first appearance on Midgard, he knew he had to fix the mess it had become over the last year. we see in Roxxcart in the second episode of the show that he can dry himself (and, notably, his hair) with magic, so I feel like it would make sense that he can and did try to recreate his pre-exile hairstyle with magic and that's why it's still slicked back like it was in Thor (2011) but it's different because he doesn't usually have to do his own hair (or idk maybe he did do his own hair but he had product he used for it and obviously Thanos doesn't have that in the Sanctuary so that's the best he could do)

and then The Dark World happens and he falls into a state of depression and he doesn't really do anything to his hair for the next year and a half. maybe he has a hairbrush and he brushes it before and after the showers he's allowed to take twice a week in the dungeons, but that's about it. Thor and Odin never come to visit so he doesn't have to look his best for them, he doesn't give a shit what the guards think of him, and he knows Frigga doesn't care what his hair looks like so he doesn't really care, either.

I feel like by TDW, Loki's hair is already getting a lil greasy, but Ragnarok just dumps grease on his head. his hair's (mostly?) neater than dungeon!Loki's, but so much worse. and I think that's because he spends so much time as Odin that he sometimes forgets that he needs to shower his normal Loki self, too. he probably uses that normal Loki form sporadically, and not for days at a time in a way that makes it very clear when he needs a shower (ie it's been three days and tbh any longer than that without a shower is kinda getting gross bro), so he feels like he's only been in this form collecting grease in his scalp for, like, 12 hours max, but actually, the last time he took a shower as himself was two months and a solid five or six Loki-form-days ago and he's just been too busy and too lazy to really notice just how bad his hair was getting and tbh if he'd known Thor was going to expose his ass in front of his people he absolutely would have taken a shower that morning and honestly it was really rude of Thor not to phone ahead and come on Skurge your one job was to give him enough time to wash his hair in case this exact situation came to fruition >:(

and then Loki wasn't in Infinity War at all so we're not gonna talk about that movie. nope. mm-mm. it was a Loki-free film. so tragic that we never saw what became of the main timeline's Loki after Ragnarok.

and then the Loki series happens and tbh there's absolutely no way to explain what happened to his hair between The Avengers and the show but dammit, I'm gonna do it anyway. so when he fixed up his hair before showing up on Midgard, he didn't actually have any product (duh. because, again, he's in the Sanctuary). so it's been a bit of a struggle to make it look nice throughout the movie and he's actually been using a subtle amount of magic to keep it in place the whole time. then he takes the Tesseract, and though he tries to act all casual in Endgame, he clearly isn't controlling it very well because he pretty much falls on his face as soon as he escapes. so when he uses his Tesseract, all of his attention turns to that, and he stops using the magic that keeps his hair looking all snazzy without its product, so the whirlwind of the Tesseract and the fall into the sand really fucks it all up, and that's why it's such a non-greasy mess in the first scene.

his hair really does look better when he's in the TVA and worse when he's with Sylvie, so I firmly believe you're right and Mobius did give him some snazzy TVA-brand shampoo and conditioner and maybe even mousse? (no hair gel tho </3) and Loki was living his best stylish life. and then obviously he ended up in apocalypse world and then back at the TVA and then the Void and it's a whole rollercoaster of hair destroyers and god he needs to ask Sylvie how she keeps her hair so nice through all of this commotion because he's failing at it so badly

this has been my Loki hairnalysis. thank you for coming to my TED talk.

okay but actually I'm v interested in your thoughts on Sylvie's hair. personally I've always kinda headcanoned that it was her way to separate herself from her past identity, and that part of leaving Princess Loki behind and embracing Sylvie was cutting and dying her hair to be as un-Loki as possible (like when a girl gets bangs and you just Know she's going through some shit, y'know?) but if you have another theory I would be very interested to hear it 👀

also if Mobius's grooming skills are due to his pre-character arc bureaucratic tendencies, does this mean that post-character arc Mobius (who better exist like we better get our Mobius back) will have long hair because I would simply Pass Away fhadskjldfhja

[descubriendo-aurelia]

tl;dr trans origin story

So, what have I done so far? How did I arrive to this point? Well, I kind of always knew that I wished I had been born a girl, but for many years I suppressed these feelings. I can remember as far back as age 4, seeing my older female cousin Jaimie and wishing I could look like her.

(Warning: I talk briefly about a sexual encounter below.)

I'd been somewhat familiar with feminizing HRT, FFS and vaginoplasty since I was an early adolescent thanks to cable TV, and transitioning seemed like such an extreme process (because it is) that it seemed impossibly expensive to achieve the results that I wanted for myself. I'd always been fascinated with hearing the stories of trans people and would watch anything related to them them any chance I got. My favourite movie since I was 16 years old was, and still is to this day, Breakfast on Pluto, a story about an Irish transwoman. How curious that it didn't occur to me until later in life that I loved this movie because I wanted to be like the main character.

Throughout the years there were other signs, like playing dress-up with my best friend and wearing their femme clothes, which led to the appearance of my Southern belle alter-ego Annabelle in our late teens while the True Blood series was still popular. Yes, with a big, floppy hat y todo. 👒

Shortly after moving to Seattle, I'd come to the realisation that I'd never been comfortable with a male identity and decided to start identifying as non-binary and using they/them pronouns.

There were two main catalysts that made me come to terms with my inner womanhood this past year. The first was a sexual encounter I had with a bisexual man who wanted me to wear panties for him. As we had sex, he sexualised me as a woman and referred to me as a woman. It made me feel validated and desired in a way that I had never been before, and it felt so right and perfect somehow. This encounter, as you might imagine, made me reflect long and hard about my gender identity.

The second catalyst was an Italki Spanish conversation class. My teacher is a trans woman, and the topic of discussion was gender identity. At one point during our discussion, she asked me, "What part of you wants to cling to the masculine?" and I realised that I didn't really have an answer for her. I realised that I was clinging to masculinity (or vestiges of it, lol) because I wanted to please other people, rather than make myself happy and discover my true identity.

A couple days later, on July 20th 2022, I decided that it was time to start doing something about it. I started by telling close friends, and it wasn't long before I settled on the name Aurelia and started to try presenting as female to the best of my ability. I'm very fortunate to work in a very trans-friendly city at a very trans-friendly business with exceptional health insurance for individuals who seek in gender affirming care. Having already worked alongside several trans people at my job, I felt comfortable enough to start coming out to my coworkers right away. They, of course, accepted me with open arms and have been amazing at using my preferred name and pronouns. A few of them even gave me clothes!

I then, of course, started shopping. In addition to makeup and clothes, I bought an epilator, silicone breast forms, mastectomy bras, a few different styles of gaffs as well as tucking tape. Not at all once, of course, 'cause all that shit was expensive. (Especially the gaffs! I tried two styles, a cheap $20 Amazon that was bulky and inaffective, and a $40 that works amaaazingly. $40 is a lot, but after I started ordering one every paycheque, I think she took notice and started sending me two per order, which was super sweet of her. Thanks, Lexy B Blair!)

I found a doctor who specialises in transgender care through my insurance and on September 6th, I started taking my HRT medications. After 5 weeks, I've seen slight (though not yet visible) breast tissue growth, skin softening, and thinning and softening of body hair. It's hard for me to gauge any emotional or psychological changes, since I was a very emotional person before HRT, lol. I guess I get angry way less often, but I also feel like this was true before I started HRT and has more to do with the relief I felt immediately after coming out that I was finally allowing myself to present female.

On October 13th, I got registered for laser hair removal, and I'll begin my first treatments in November! I'm so tired of shaving every day and having to use orange colour corrector and a full face of heavy foundation just to have a "natural" look. My facial hair comes in really dark, so no matter how close I shave, they leave behind a greenish undertone to my skin, which is why I need the colour corrector.

So, now what? We wait for the hormones to do their job. I probably won't notice any major changes until a year in, and the full effects could take 3-4 years. I asked my doctor about progesterone to help with breast development, and he wants to try it when I'm 6 months to a year in. Depending on how well that works, I may or may not eventually want breast augmentation.

Another procedure I'm definitely interested in is facial feminisation surgery. Because I went through a testosterone-based puberty during my adolescence, my jawline is very angular and I have a protruding brow bone compared to before I started puberty. HRT is supposed to help a little bit with rounding of the face via fat redistribution, but this won't be noticeable for at least a year. So, I suppose the plan will be to see how satisfied I am after the three year mark, and if not, look into getting the procedure.

And then, of course, there's the surgery that cispeople are most obsessed with: ✨vaginoplasty✨. Will I get it? First of all, if you don't already know this, please don't ever ask a trans person this question. As for me, I'm still conflicted. I don't believe in the concept of "completely transitioning" and don't think that genital surgery is a necessary step in a gender transition. I would be completely content keeping my genitals and would still feel as complete of a woman as any other. And yet, when it really comes down to it, I think I would still prefer a vagina to a penis if given the choice... which, I guess I have? But then, of course, there's the whole surgery itself, which is very extensive and scary, with a rough recovery. Plus the extensive dilations. Hmm, I just don't know about all that. If I did it, which I honestly don't think I will, I would want a very talented doctor who will perform a labiaplasty, clitoroplasty, and vaginoplasty, and who has multiple photographs of the results of former patients.

So, that's all, folks. If you're still reading this, thank you for listening to me overshare, lol.

[phoenixyfriend]

Okay so you know how one of my big things with fandom is forcing characters into completely new contexts that they just have to Deal With (recently most commonly with time travel, crossovers, and things like the suddenly omegaverse AU).

So, canon characters get Yanked and somehow tossed into a Modern AU context, possibly just as some Matrix-esque 'your brain is trapped in a simulation' thing, possibly as a Sith Holocron thing, possibly as a weird crossover, it doesn't matter. The point is mostly this:

1. Nobody has the Force. 2. Ahsoka is suddenly human, and she hates it.

This is mostly an excuse for Ahsoka to be overwhelmed by some things (her sense of taste is completely different) and underwhelmed by others (this is your eyesight???) and panicked by others (her sense of echolocation is completely GONE), and then Anakin calming her down by Brushing Her Hair, something she's never had before.

Ahsoka has a meltdown and Anakin, who is also very panicked because the Force is just gone for him, is doing his best to keep her somewhat level and ANYWAY Anakin knows how to do cool, solid, safe braids because Padme taught him how to do her wig-secure crown braids, so when Ahsoka's being overwhelmed by the sensory hell of her new hair touching her shoulders, Anakin brushes it out and braids it up for her while Obi-Wan tries to find them a way out, and Rex and Cody help him notice things like "we can't read this alphabet for shit" and "that's not a speeder... is it..."

The clones are Itchy without their armor in an unfamiliar space. The Jedi keep tripping on sidewalk cracks and stuff because they're not used to needing to look where they're going. Also they don't have their sabers or blasters.

Ahsoka tucked into Anakin's side in a coffee shop that they somehow managed to Exchange Currency at... sipping on something sweet and complicated-flavor that she doesn't recognize and is very confused by because none of these tastes are familiar... a barista asks if she's okay and Anakin has to stutter over "my padawan" in favor of "my sister" because it's kind of safer but anyway could they get a cup of ice water for the kid?

The clones get asked if they're from New Zealand or Australia because of the accents and just Blank Stare until the person leaves in discomfort like "Was it something I said? Maybe they think I should be able to tell the difference?" but no they just don't fucking know what New Zealand and Australia are.

Imagine if she couldn’t really taste sweetness before. She finally understands the appeal of candy!

Ahsoka doesn't like 'being' human but she decides she likes the Expanded Taste Range (now she understands WHY people add spices) and having her hair played with (she's maybe a little jealous of people like Padme now).

Several of the Jedi keep forgetting they can’t jump 20 feet high anymore and keep slamming into fences. One of them tries to jump off something and is tackled by a clone. The clones keep forgetting they can’t jump off things and get caught anymore.

“Normal humans die when they do that!”

The clones don't register as clones to anyone, just Young Hot Guys With Nice Muscles, so Cody and Rex get hit on by strangers more in the Modern AU adventure than in the rest of their lives put together.

They register as twins though. And some people are maybe into that specifically. Strangely, in this context, being genetically identical is more attractive.

The only person in this group that knows how to recognize flirtation and how to flirt back is Obi-Wan.

Someone sees a Marvel movie playing a TV store and just drags the other four over because IS THAT MASTER WINDU WITH AN EYEPATCH. Or alternately IS THAT AN OLDER SENATOR AMIDALA IN BORING CLOTHES.

Per @atagotiak on discord

Hey, it could be worse, it could be literally almost anything else Ewan McGregor is in. I enjoy the other movies I’ve seen him in (though I haven’t seen a lot) it’s just every last one would be jarring as heck to them.

Birds of prey “Wow Obi-Wan, you’re a dick”

It's just Moulin Rouge's steamy scenes and Obi-Wan is like [head tilt] is... is that supposed to be me????

(I'm going to say that none of the Star Wars movies exist in this modern AU, but only because that would get too complicated.)

Ahsoka gets yelled at by Someone (a store employee, a cop, a random douchebag on the street), and Obi-Wan steps in because he's closest and also the person most invested in making sure she doesn't start throwing punches.

Person: Sorry man, didn't mean to scare your, uh, daughter. Obi-Wan's face: [is doing complicated things]

(Being Ahsoka’s dad is probably less weird than being Anakin’s dad. Just agewise and all that.)

Obi-Wan objectively recognizes that this is a reasonable assumption and also a safe one to work with, in that explaining their actual relationship might be sketchy depending on whether or not apprenticeships are a thing on this planet, and going with a person's first not-terrible assumption is usually a safe bet to not draw too much attention!

But 'parent' is a bit of a loaded concept for a lineage so prone to attachment (and tragedy).

Ahsoka finds herself getting inexplicably tired a few hours into a walk that would normally leave her fine, and since Anakin and Obi-Wan are also having trouble, it's apparently not a humans thing, it's... not having the Force. They’re still pretty strong and have good endurance but they’re not superhuman anymore so.

Adding in that Ahsoka's a young teenager who has no idea what she can eat that she can actually stand the taste of yet, so she keeps getting sugar crashes since it's the only thing she can reliably stomach...

[it-was-summer]

Kiss Me Once...Kiss Me Twice (18! Five x Fem!Reader)

Requested: Yes! I’ve been away for so long and college has got me in chokehold so I really hope you all forgive me as I get around to your request! The two of you are 18 in this fic, just to specify)

Plot: Hi! Me again, so soon I know. Hope you won't get annoyed by my requests but its the end of semester and I kinda take anything I can get to keep me sane around this time.I am very partial to Cinderella AUs. I read them, i write them. They're just my favorite thing ever especially with different types of characters that are very different to the Canon.So I was wondering, could you maybe write one with Five and Reader? It doesn't have to be exactly to the movies plot and the characterization would obviously be loyal to the shows. It could be a modern "fits with Canon verse" AU where Five and Reader fall in love and Reader loses something and Five gets it back to her. Or it could be historical/fantasy AU (i would lowkey prefer if you did this one) like the movie where the Hargreeves are royals and Five is a prince who meets Reader and then they fall in love but he has to find her somehow after the ball. I'm not picky at all whichever version you choose as long as it's a general Cinderella AU (with a dash of nosy Hargreeves chaos) and I'm sure you'll do it justice.I may or may not have a couple more requests but I'll only send them in if you're feeling up to them. For now just this is enough and feel free to take your time.Thank you so much in advance! 😊❤️ @oceanspray5​

Word Count: 10,234, I uhhhh went a little crazy, this took up 23 pages in my google docs!

Heads turned in awe, in awe of the beauty, for the crowd had never seen a more handsome couple. Two masks covered their identities, but anyone could look into their eyes and see; see the love they shared for one another. Hands laying over each other as they whisked each other gracefully to the dance floor, their smiles illuminated the room as they danced.

Everyone always talked about that night, talked about how in love they were; your parents. You knew they were in love in a less glamorous way, a less fairytale way. Your father would be walking by the garden, stopping to steal a glance at your mother, as she tended to the garden. You noticed how your mother, even in the worst of moods, always smiled around your father. Their relationship taught you to love and how to be kind, but it also taught you sorrow.

Around age ten is when tragedy struck, your mother had fallen ill one day.  She laid in bed for weeks, chills passing through her constantly, her body growing weaker and weaker with every passing day. At first, your mother didn’t want you to see her condition, she wanted her only daughter to be filled with happiness, but in the end, she let you see her.

Tears distorted your vision as you looked down at her pale figure, missing the glow it had meer months ago. She showed you her best smile, head swimming with things to say, she couldn’t exactly choose her last words for you. Your mother grabbed your hand, pulling you closer. “Darling,” her voice was weak, but still so full of love. “Can you remember something for me?”

Your head nodded instantly, tears shaking loose from your eyes quickly. She gave you another weak smile, finding the energy to let out a laugh. “Good,” her hand slipped for a second, “I want you to remember the golden rules.”

“The golden rules,” you repeated, you knew what they were, there were three.

“Can you tell me the golden rules?”

“Yes,” you held her hand tighter as it slipped down further. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, have courage, and be kind.” you finished, watching a pained smile grow on your mother’s face. She let out a tiny gasp, trying to breathe through her pain, her hand squeezing yours.

“Good,” she gasped, relaxing a little in the bed. “I want you to remember those rules, even if I’m not here to remind you.”

You felt her grip weaken, your father pulled you away from her as you sobbed, pushing you out of the room quickly as your mother slowly died.

It had been eight years since then, and thankfully your sorrow was replaced with the bittersweet feeling of acceptance. You remembered the rules, you remembered your mother, and you created new memories with your father and the cottage.

The sun was shining brightly onto the cottage, rising above the peaks of the roof carefully, dew dripping off of the grass slowly. It was summer and the world was saying a beautiful ‘hello’. Staring out the narrow stone window, you spotted him, your father. Excitement became you as you moved off of your bed, running around the cottage till you got out the front door, running out to meet him.

Your father halted the horse he was riding, sliding off the seat with a small grunt, a smile decorating his face at the sight of you. You were a young woman, beautiful like your mother, and if he was being honest, it was terrifying to see so much of her in you.  

“Father,” laughter escaped you as he wrapped his arms around you “You’re home early.”

He pulled away, walking over to his saddlebag “Since when is this a problem?” he joked kindly, earning a shrug from you. “I have some news for you,” he pulled an item from his bag and then ushered you inside quickly “My dear, I’ve fallen in love.”

“In love?”

“Yes, she’s a lovely woman, with two lovely daughters and I’m going to marry her.”

“Oh,” you let the initial shock settle over you as you stared up at him “I’m so happy for you, Papa!”

You could see the way his eyes lit up upon hearing your acceptance and yet you felt a tugging sensation in your gut, you were sure it was nerves. They had to be since your father-- the trustworthy man he is-- said that these women were lovely, you were sure that they were just that, lovely.

They were not. Elinor was the youngest and the kinder of the three. She never did anything vile, but she also never did anything to stop their torment. Jane was the eldest daughter, beautiful and deadly-- similar to a belladonna flower-- if looks could kill, you would drop dead. Then there was the Baroness, Constance of Blodwell, a cruel woman. They say that the dearly departed Baron died of natural causes, but you wouldn’t be surprised if she was lying.

When they first arrived Father kissed her hand, bought the sisters imported silks and threw uncharacteristically loud parties. He seemed so happy, so who were you to judge his happiness? If he wanted to buy silks, let him buy silks. If he wanted to throw loud parties, then he shall throw loud parties, and you? You would bite your tongue and smile at him. You could tell him to be safe and that you loved him.

During the day the Baroness would watch you read on the windowsill as she played with her needlepoint, setting it down to say “A young lady shouldn’t read so much, it will fill her head with silly nonsense, confuse her.”

You told her you agreed but found needlework wasn’t your strong suit and she would let out a huff, and that is where the conversation would end for the hour.

It started as small things. The Baroness found your boyish antics disgusting, so you were taught to be more ladylike. Jane would blame you for messing with the piano as she hit broken keys over and over again. Elinor would stare, smile at you, and drink her tea. Your father was away, working harder than ever to provide for his suddenly large family of young women.

~~

It was no secret to the royal family that they were strange. Five was a little convinced every family had some deep-rooted issues. As is tradition, the mages ruled over the kingdom; protecting the people and possessing incredible powers of all kinds.

His siblings, mostly married off to other obscenely powerful families, all possessed powers. Vanya was a late-bloomer, but the musicians helped her powers reach their full potential. He could go down the list, but thinking about the others was somewhat exhausting, but it did let his mind escape elsewhere as he sat in another council meeting with his father.

He was listening, hearing talk of peace and plans for the upcoming fall harvest and other important things. He could feel his father’s eyes on him, on the crown prince, how becoming. Five turned his head, raising an eyebrow at his father as he was greeted with the usual frown, great so he didn’t miss anything.

As men and women bid their farewells, Five was left alone with the servants and King Reginald Hargreeves. “You weren’t listening during today’s meeting,”

“Yes, I was,”

“Don’t lie to me,”

“I was only thinking of the dear siblings and their wellbeing, all good things.”

His father’s frown somehow deepened before he shook his head “Five, you’re crown prince because I made you crown prince, do you know why?”

“It’s fun to make me miserable?”

“It’s because you know how hard it is to have responsibilities, I expect you to be better than them.” And with that, he walks out of the room. Better than them? All of them? It seemed a little bit much for an eighteen-year-old, but he guessed that being a crown prince was all about having the burden of trying to outshine the stars.

~~

It was just before dawn, the sky was turning a beautiful indigo, sleep evading you as you waited outside the cottage. Your father was away once more and was due yesterday, but he never showed. Horrible knots twisted against the walls of your stomach, ruining your appetite. You had a horrible feeling that he wasn’t coming home. That he wasn’t going to come back from London. The knots gave way as you heard the sound of hooves beating against the gravel. You peer through the early morning catching his eyes in a moment of pure bliss. He was okay and you could breathe again.

He was paler than usual, the sick shade of exhaustion mixed with the summer heat. In the sitting room, Jane was fretting over one of her newer dresses that had a gold appliqué on the trim and Elinor was nodding along wordlessly. Father was holding Constance’s hand and her eyes seemed tender for the first time in months.

You were sitting there, watching them with a smile. Constance was no mother to you, nor was she a friend but she seemed to love your father, or at least care about him deeply.

He spent the next week recovering, to which he seemed well enough by the end of the week and then he was off again. The whole family stood outside in the early morning, Constance whispering something in your father’s ear, earning her a smile before he turned to you with open arms. “You shouldn’t be working, you’re still sick.” You muttered into his shoulder with a frown.

“I know, but this job is big and I can’t afford to pass it by,”

“Will I see you next week?”

“Yes,”

“Okay,” you said, pulling away reluctantly from his embrace. You watched as he straddled his saddle and smiled up at him as he started to make his way out. Your eyes didn’t leave him, and maybe that’s why you were the first to scream when you saw him fall off. “Papa!”

Your legs moved on their own, running out to him, being followed closely behind by Constance as she screamed his name in sobs, and just like that he was gone. You watched as they lowered his body into the ground, dressed in black from head to toe in the middle of a July afternoon.

~~

Five didn’t enjoy getting in trouble, because if he could just stop himself from getting caught he wouldn’t be in trouble. Sure, with a flash of blue he could be out of the room or out of the palace, but eventually, he would come back. He was the crown prince after all and with no money on the run, where would he go? He would be recognized immediately and in the end, it would all be useless. So here he was, getting yelled at by his father again.

After an hour-long lecture from his father he was left alone once again and against his better judgment, as soon as he was left alone, he left the palace again. Blue flashes lit up the woods for a second and then they were gone and Five was standing in the middle of a quiet forest. He didn’t like to leave the palace to visit brothels or to go into town to see how the commonwealth lived, he just wanted some time alone.

From the moment he woke up it was Five this or Five that, meetings, classes, or lectures. He just needed a break from it all, he needed a break from the responsibilities, no matter the repercussions.

Five drew in a deep breath, smiling as the smell of fresh pine and earth filled his senses. The sounds of a nearby creek drew his attention, his feet following the sound till he stood at the bank. The child in him was eager to jump in and splash about, most likely getting his clothes absolutely soaked in the process, but the adult inside of him screamed that it was a bad idea. Instead, he simply sat on the loose gravel near the bank and watched as the water rushed by at a slow pace.

~~

It had been a little over a month since your father passed, and what a hard month it had been. The baroness had you change rooms, moving you into the cold, dusty, damp, dark attic. When it rained little drops of water would splash on your brows and leave you awake for hours on end.

A humble voice deep inside whispered ‘you should be grateful’ and the fire that raged right next to it roared to fight back, so you simply did nothing. You were obedient, calm in every scenario. If she wanted you to scrub the floors, you scrubbed. There wasn’t a day that went by where she wasn’t asking you to do something.

So you couldn’t comprehend why you were sneaking out like this, in a clean dress and basket filled to the brim with cheese, bread, and fruits. You were supposed to be good, good for your mother, and good for your father. Well, that woman wasn’t your mother anyway so what was the point?

Your pace slowed as you thought about the consequences. Would she throw you out? She was the lady of the house, she had all the power. You were of age, but with no marriage, no prospects, and no money, what good would being homeless do? You turned your head back towards the cottage for a second before you set off towards the creek. This was just a short break after all.

You didn’t initially see him until your feet were already in the water, and the hem of the dress was considerably soaked. His eyes grew wide at the sight of you, his mouth moving in a thousand different shapes before he finally got some words out from those pretty lips, “Who are you?”

“I’m,” you paused, you didn’t know this man, was it smart to give him your name? “I’m Ella!” You practically shouted back in response, earning a small wince from the boy in front of you.

“What are you doing here?” he hissed, his eyes glancing down at your feet before quickly darting back up to meet yours.

“Do you own the river?”

“Well,” he trailed off, chewing on his bottom lip with worry.

“Well?”

“Well, no.”

“Perfect, then I am soaking my feet.”

“Why?”

You laughed gently and kicked up some water at him, “Because it’s fun.” you replied softly, stepping away from him quickly. “Why are you here?”

“Why are you asking?” he challenged, jumping as a few drops of water hit his pants.

“You asked me.”

“Oh, right,” he said, eyeing the basket in your hands, feeling his mouth water as a small slice of cheese peaked through the cloth atop of the basket. “Well, I suppose I’m just here for fun. The same as you.”

“Right,” you replied with a gentle chuckle as you stepped out of the creek, a pleasant breeze moved through your hair as you looked back over towards the boy. “The thing is, you don’t look like you’re having a lot of fun.”

His eyebrows rose in surprise before coming together in a judgemental glare, “And how would you know if I’m having fun?”

You eyed him up and down with a playful smirk at your lips, “You have the face of someone who lights up when they’re truly enjoying themselves.”

His face relaxed at that and a small smile stretched across his face gracefully, small butterflies ate away at your insides when you saw that smile. You should’ve known then. “So,” you quickly interrupted the moment “Do you have a name, or are you a nameless spirit?”

“I have a name!”

“Wonderful, mind if I learn it?”

His eyes searched the waters, earning a smile from you as you realized he was probably going to do the same thing as you did. “It’s Phillip,” he lied lamely, his body betrayed him, almost yelling at him for telling the lie, but you still accepted it.

“Lovely, are you hungry?”

Five was playing with the ends of the blanket beneath him, wondering silently how he ended up here, sitting next to a pretty girl as you talked about what you liked most about the Summertime. He smiled hearing your laugh, a sweet melody that made the world just a little brighter.

He watched you as you pulled a small piece of bread off of the loaf, finding himself watching as you popped it into your mouth, eyes catching on your lips for a second before he ripped them away.

Five felt his knees go weak at a romantic thought, he wasn’t supposed to have romantic thoughts, he didn’t have a romantic bone in his body. Well, he never thought romance could be on the table, not like this. He knew that he was setting himself up for failure by having feelings for you, and he wouldn’t dare call them that, he was just feeling… infatuation, yes!

It was infatuation, of course! The kind of thing that makes princes fall to commoner and the thing that made kings go to war, but Five wasn’t going to be a tragic tale. However, what was the harm in indulging in a small little crush?

“Phillip?” The fake name made his head turn.

“Yes, Ella?”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“I, uh, no.”

“I was saying that we should be friends,” you explained with a nervous smile, Five couldn’t stop the smile growing on his face.

“Friends?”

“I mean if you don’t want to, I understand!”

“No,” he all but yelled, clearing his throat quickly as he shook his head, “No, I would love to be your friend.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” he said, placing a hand over yours, trying to ignore the electricity that was tingling at his fingertips.

“Oh,” you looked at your hands and let out another nervous laugh, a lump rising into your throat as you let out a strangled “Lovely.”

“Yes, lovely,” he repeated as your eyes met his for a moment. Five didn’t feel like himself for a moment, it was as if he was watching the scene unfold from across the creek. Your eyes were wide and were glued to his as you opened your mouth quickly to speak, to say anything.

Against his will, he slowly moved his hand away from yours, missing the heat instantly as he stood up slowly, brushing himself off. “I should be getting back,” he muttered.

You heard yourself say something along the lines of ‘yes’ and ‘of course’ as he walked away, throwing a small smile over his shoulder before he disappeared into the bush.

~~

Five’s heart was racing when he blimped back into his room, the teleportation never took a toll on him, he was fine, so why was he finding it so hard to breathe? It was a terrible feeling of restlessness that consumed him as soon as he calmed down.

He wanted to go out. He wanted to walk by the creek. He wanted to see you again, god he burned to see you again. He flexed his hand gently, trying to ignore the sensation that lingered against his palm.

He was pacing now, thinking, muttering, and sighing heavily. He was apathetic, for the most part snarky, but overall very solid. He didn’t need people prying into how he was feeling and he didn’t want to explain his feelings to people, but today might be the first day that his hard exterior is experiencing a little crack.

He jumped hearing a knock on his door, “His Majesty wishes to see you,” there was a pause “Now.”

Right, right, right, his father would never approve of anything as frivolous as his feelings. “Be right there,” he called back to the servant at the door as he stole a look in the mirror, looking for evidence that would place him in the woods. Evidence that would point to you. Once he was clear he set out for the throne room.

“Five,” his father said, a foreign smile making an appearance, “I have something to tell you.”

Five stepped forward, the giddiness that he had in his room leaving him as he got closer. He didn’t like that face, that smile on his twisted father’s face. It never meant anything good, all signs pointed to doom. “You’re going to get married.”

“Pardon me?”

“Well, you’re not getting married right now, but there is going to be a masquerade ball. You’ll be able to choose your bride, of course. She’ll need to be special to be able to handle you, of course.”

“Of course, and how am I going to find her? Dance with every maiden in the kingdom?”

“How wonderful, you already have a plan! We shall send invitations out to every maiden in the kingdom!”

With that he left the room, leaving Five buzzing with questions and anxiety as he stared at the throne silently. He was trained to be king, he did well in all of his classes, he was well educated, but the thought of having a queen was terrifying. It all seemed to be moving too fast.

The only silver lining was the hope that you would be there in the ballroom, A friend, an ally, maybe? Then a small voice seemed to whisper, to hope, a queen.

~~

Your feet were sore, horribly sore. Yesterday, the baroness noticed your absence and has since then forced you to clean the kitchen, spilling lentils and flour purposefully as she came by to check up on your progress. Eventually, it was done, but now you hurt. Elinor offered you biscuits in the morning but you felt too nauseated to stomach anything.

The only things on your mind were your pain and Phillip, or rather your mystery man by the creek. You caught yourself zoning out, thinking about him, wishing to see him, to visit him. You wondered if he was waiting for you by the creek. You hoped he would come back despite your absence, you hoped he would touch your hand again and you hoped his eyes would linger on your lips for a minute too long.

Hoping was the only thing that was draining out Constance’s shirl voice as she yelled at some of the servants, going on about how there was dust on a frame somewhere and how unseemly dirt was. The first thing she told you when you had come back from the creek was that you were dirty, then she proceeded to lecture you on how cleanliness was close to godliness. A proper lady must never be dirty.

You jumped in surprise hearing a distinct rapping against the front door, for a second you hoped it was Phillip as you went to answer it. “Invitations to the ladies of the house, The Baroness Constance of Blodwell and her three daughters, Jane, Elinor, and…”

“I just have two daughters, sir.” The baroness cut him off as he handed her the four invitations, with a shocked look on his face. You looked over at her, wondering when she had paused her lecture to greet the gentleman at the door. You watched as she read the invitations with hungry eyes, gasping sharply as she pulled a hand over her chest. “Oh, oh,”

“What is it? What are the invitations for?” Jane demanded quickly, bouncing on the soles of her feet like a child next to her mother, an act she would be reprimanded for later.

“It’s for a royal ball, for the crown prince. He’s choosing a bride!” Constance said with glee, handing two invitations to her daughter, your’s still residing in her hand as she shut the door on the messenger boy.

“A bride!” Jane parroted the word with a squeal, while you disliked her it was wonderful to see her so overjoyed. A sudden thought entered your brain, Phillip could be at the ball, it was for the whole kingdom, maybe he had a sister or he would be invited!

“Does Y/N have an invitation too, mother?” Elinor asked, looking up from her’s with an endearing smile. You wished she hadn’t asked, you could tell what was coming next. Constance frowned as she looked at your invitation, your name is written in the same ink that her daughters were written in. She considered it for a moment before tearing the invitation to shreds.

A quiet scream caught in your throat as you reached out to stop her, “Don’t touch me, girl!” she screamed at you as the paper fell to the ground. “You’re barely my daughter, after all, you get along better with the servants, so you will be treated like one!”

“But, I…”

“Did I say you could speak about the matter? No, now we need to make preparations for the ball tonight!” she burst at the seams with a variety of emotions, settling on hope. Hoping that one of her daughters would win the Prince’s heart and become queen.

You were still her daughter, she was all you had. You knew that she would never be your mother nor would she be your father, but she was something. She was the last thing you had, the last connection. “How can you be so cruel?” you felt the words spill out as she turned to look down at you.

“I’m not cruel, I’m saving you from rejection, my dear,” she said, reaching out her hand to graze your cheek. “Clean.” she looked down at the parchment on the ground with a smile before she was walking away.

Jane had a purple dress decorated with gold appliqué, muttering about how she was going as a masked royal because she was sure she would soon be one anyway, while Elinor had a pale blue dress with white appliqué, and Constance was wearing red, and you were wearing rags. They had come and gone, leaving you to cry with the shredded parchment in the attic.

A soft knocking forced you to dry your eyes quickly, “Come in,” you stood up from your bed when the head maid, Elizabeth, entered.

“Hello,”

“Hello,”

“I, well, we have something for you,” she said, a giddy smile from her made your heart squeeze with joy. She motioned behind her and up came more maids, holding a white and gold gown, the material looked soft to touch and elegant. Another maid produced a matching gold and cream mask, the more you looked at it you realized it was a swan, or rather it was a mask for a swan.  It looked eerily familiar, but you couldn’t place your finger on it.

“Oh, oh my,” you cried as you reached out to touch the hem, “It’s beautiful,” you whispered as they looked at you. You could see a pair of shoes in one of their hands, you turned to Elizabeth quickly. “I won’t make it there in time!”

“My dear, do you think we would make you walk? I asked Henry, my husband, to bring a carriage. You need not worry, we have everything for you.”

You felt small tears of joy prick at your eyes “Thank you, thank you.” you repeated quickly as the women surrounded you and helped you get ready for the ball.

~~

Five was staring at himself in the mirror with a frown on his face, the cream color of his coat didn’t suit him, and this collar, disgustingly baby blue was choking him slowly. The bottom of his coat had a small trim of blue as well, and at a closer glance, he could see that his coat had a light gold detail, the royal insignia, and other symbols decorating it beautifully. It just wasn’t for him. In all honesty, it fit him quite well, the occasion just wasn’t to his liking. He didn’t like the idea of walking around with a bunch of masked strangers who were either trying to marry him or trying to make him marry their child.

Nonetheless, at this point fighting with his father would be useless. The damage had been done, people were arriving and he was expected to smile and dance. Five burned his gaze into the mirror, moving a hand up to his hair and messed with its carefully styled beauty before he turned on his heel and headed out towards the ballroom.

~~

With the help of the maids, you were quickly dressed and adorned with white jewels on your neck and ears. The mirror looked like a mirage as you stared yourself down, nothing seemed real. It was already a splendid dream and as you stepped into the carriage the dream began to blend with reality.

Having arrived only a quarter late to the ball, slipping in was easy, it was the stares that made it difficult to calm down. Every step, every sound you made, caused people’s heads to turn as if they were waiting for you. You were excited to be at the ball, but now it was a matter of finding a purpose. Did you only want to come to be included? It had to be because with all these eyes staring you down you wanted nothing more than to turn around and go home.

You took in a gentle breath and closed your eyes, thinking about how Elizabeth told you to have fun and how she whispered how beautiful you looked. Finding solace in the memory, you joined the outer circle of the dance floor, watching as a woman dressed as a peacock spun about the dance floor.

A smile crept its way onto your lips as you watched them, something about the way she laughed as she twirled made you giddy. It was as if the atmosphere had completely changed because of the woman's dazzling smile, a smile that made the world smile back at her.

The man, however, had a strange sense of familiarity to him. Something about the broadness of his shoulders, the brunette color of his hair, and the way his smile never seemed to stay too long on his face all seemed familiar to you. ‘That must be the crown prince’ you thought with a tiny nod, it had to be because this was his ball after all and he was looking for a bride.

The violins soon disappeared, followed by the horns, till the only sound to be heard was the sounds of people clapping as the two split apart. You moved to find a drink, or perhaps a corner in which you could cling to and avoid getting seen. Your feet had other ideas as you stepped on the long hem of your dress, flying towards the ground.

You squeezed your eyes tight waiting for the floor to make contact, but with a muted flash of blue, you felt arms hold you up instead. You peeked one eye open, opening both in surprise to see the golden mask of the crown prince inches from your face. “I’m so sorry, sir.” You gasped as you used his shoulders to stabilize yourself quickly, having the intention to get as far away from him as possible, as soon as he let you go.

His lips opened for a moment before he closed them and swallowed hard. If you didn’t know any better you would say that he seemed just as surprised as you were. Which was a ridiculous idea to even venture, so you pushed it to the back of your mind as fast as possible. “Sir,” you stuttered softly, “Your royal highness, sir, you’re still holding my waist.”

“Oh,” he muttered gently, grip not releasing for a moment before he let out a gasp and exclaimed another “Oh!” as he let go of your waist quickly. You smiled at him, reaching up to adjust your mask swiftly before the prince was holding a hand towards you. You looked at his hand for a second too long, about to question him before he asked “Will you dance with me?”

“Oh,” you whispered as you laid your hand on top of his “I’m not that good, sir.”

“That’s fine,” he said as he led you to the middle of the floor “I’ll lead, all you have to do is follow.”

“Right, follow,” you repeated as the violins began to play a sweet and delicate melody. Your head turned down to watch the Prince’s feet, dreading the idea of stepping on the foot of the future monarch. You heard a laugh as you danced with your head down and before you knew it a gentle hand was moving your chin up.

“You’re supposed to look up,” he laughed again and you could feel your cheeks flush beneath your mask. He stole a glance at the other couples joining the two of you on the dance floor, surrounded the two of you pleasantly, and then he looked into your eyes again. “Spin for me,” he told you and you followed his orders quickly.

When the two of you were face to face again, you gasped quickly as he dipped you with the rest of the crowd of dancers, your hands holding onto his shoulders tight as you felt your loose hair graze the floor. “Relax,” he laughed as the two of you danced “What’s your name?”

You peeked at the floor, looking for his shoes for a second before he cleared his throat gently to give you the silent message to look up. “Well, I’m not supposed to be here,” you let out a nervous chuckle “So, I’m not sure I should tell you my name.”

“You’re not supposed to be here? My father sent you an invitation, didn't he? Isn't that enough to prove that you deserve to be here tonight?”

“I suppose, sir, but my family wished for me to stay at home.”

“So why did you come?”

You faltered for a moment, letting out a slow sigh “I came because I wanted to be included, I suppose. I wanted to experience something for once,” you looked up at him with a sad smile “I just wanted to have fun.”

The prince let out a pleasant hum, reminding you of someone that you had yet to spot amongst the crowd. You gasped as you tapped on his shoulder with excitement “I’m looking for a friend,” you chattered about quickly “His name is Philip, do you know him by any chance?”

The prince’s eyes became wide for a second, staring at you with a shocked expression. You didn’t know if you said something offensive or crude, but his dancing pace slowed as his breathing became quick. “Your majesty, are you alright?” you asked as the two of you slowed to a stop as couples danced around the two of you.

“Ella?” he whispered, his hand squeezing yours tight. Hearing him say that name made everything click for you and then the dance floor began to spin. You struggled to release your hand from his. Philip was the crown prince, and you were dancing with him and you had been so casual with him, that was worth some kind of punishment. You inhaled sharply as his grip became tighter around your waist, stopping all your struggling before you stared up into his eyes, waiting for him to speak.

But, he said nothing. He just stared down at you, staring into your eyes as you stayed in his arms breathless. “Philip, dance,” you said quickly as some of the other couple’s started to stop and stare at the two of you and with that, he started moving again.

Your senses were heightened now, your anxiety playing a role in the dance as you felt his hand squeeze your side nervously and how his fingers itched to be intertwined with yours. He swallowed nervously as the two of you danced to the swelling violins, “Please don’t call me Philip,” he whispered in a meek tone “It’s Five,”

You bit back a snarky comment and nodded slowly “Right,”

“Ella, listen,”

“It’s okay,” you cut him off. “I lied too, that, and you look at your feet when you’re lying.”

Five smiled at that before letting out a strained breath, “I can’t trust that, liar.” he teased as he let go of your hand to move a strand of hair out from your face. The violins were slowing down now, but you weren’t ready yet, you found a new purpose and you didn’t want to leave him just yet. Just a little longer, a voice inside of you screamed, you just needed more time.

“Is there any way we can go somewhere else?” you asked in a hushed voice as you bowed into a curtsey.

“Meet me in the garden,”

“How are you going to find a way out?”

“By causing a scene, of course,” he grinned as you took a few steps back before turning around and heading for the garden.

Cause a scene he did, he walked over to his father, spilled red wine down the front of his shirt before knocking over a candelabra in the process, almost setting a tablecloth on fire. Earning just enough commotion to cause a crowd that would swarm his father, and then he was on his way out.

You were sitting on the edge of a fountain, the lavish lights from inside illuminated the water, vines gripped its base and crept up the sides, and having seen you sitting on its edge, Five swore that you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

When you heard his footsteps get closer, your head snapped away from the shining waters and towards him. You hesitated for a second before you graced him with a kind smile, reaching up slowly to pull down your mask. He knew what you looked like, and no one was around to tell your stepmother that you were here.

Five started a second too long before he started to scramble to take off his mask, laughter built up in your throat and released at a pleasant volume. The two of you stared at each other in comfortable silence for a few seconds before Five cleared his throat. “You look lovely this evening,”

“Well, I did want to look nice for a prince.” you teased in a tone that made Five’s insides turn into honey. You covered your mouth in a poor attempt to hide your growing grin as you watched his eyes grow wide and cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

“Right,” he stuttered out as he sat a safe distance from you on the cement edge of the fountain. He suddenly couldn’t think of anything to say. Did he say that he’s been thinking about you since yesterday? Did he tell you that this feeling was new to him? Did that sound like a confession? That most definitely sounded like a confession.

“You look,” you paused, tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him “Stressed,”

“What? No, no, no,” his eyes looked towards the night sky, his head falling back as he let out a sigh “When I was told that I would be choosing a bride tonight I never thought I would be able to see you again, and yet, here you are,” his head fell back down to earth to look at you “And you just look so lovely and I just think I’m a little overwhelmed.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, knees going weak as you crossed your legs silently. Sure, he had already complimented you once, but when it sounded so sincere, and when he was looking at you like that how could you not blush? “You look rather dashing yourself,” you beamed at him, taking pride in the fact that he was smiling over at you.

“Why thank you, now may I tell you a secret?” Five whispered as he leaned towards you. Your heartbeat raced as you leaned towards him, nodding ‘yes’ quickly. “I just had the most horrid dance partner,” he whispered out with a grin.

You gasped quickly, swatting at his arm as you laughed, “I was not horrid,” you laughed, swaying gently with your laughter, getting dangerously close to falling into the fountain as you giggled. Five reached up to steady you as he laughed with you, his hands on your shoulders sliding down to meet yours and then he let them stay there as the laughter died down.

“Can I ask something of you?” he whispered as he leaned forward.

Your heart leapt dangerously in your chest, knowing how dangerous saying a simple ‘yes’ could be, but you still nodded slowly and said “Yes,”

“I know that we just met and this is completely irrational, but I just light on fire when I’m near you,” he gasped out, hands gripping yours tighter with anxiety. You gave his hands a tiny squeeze and gave him a sinfully gorgeous smile. “I wanted to know if I could,” he trailed off, thumbs tapping against yours nervously.

“Yes?” you urged him gently, fighting back a giddy giggle as he tapped his thumbs against yours, it was nice to see him so nervous, or rather, it was endearing to see him like this.

“I was wondering if it would be okay if I kissed you?”

You felt yourself falter, all alarms in your head screaming something important but they were quickly muffled by something more intense, a giddy haze washing over you. You knew that it would be disastrous to kiss him, if someone saw you two in the middle of the garden they would have a fit, they would exclaim that the prince had found a princess. It wasn’t a good idea, kissing him, but everything in your body burned to kiss him. “You can kiss me,” you replied in a rather confident voice that you didn’t seem to recognize.

He leaned in, a mere inches away from your face, a shaking hand reached up to hold the left side of your cheek as the other held your hand tight. “Are you sure?”

“You’re leaning in aren’t you?”

“Right, well, if you don’t want to,”

“Five,”

“Yes?”

“Kiss me, please,”

“Okay,” he squeaked as he closed his eyes and closed the gap between the two of you, a gentle kiss hitting your lips. You kissed back slowly, eyes fluttering closed as you reached up your free hand to grab hold of the wrist that was cradling your face. You felt the gentleness of the kiss transform into something deeper, lips pushing against yours with a sudden fire.

You were about to kiss him back with the same burning passion as he pulled away, almost as if he surprised himself. “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,”

“I just got a little carried away,” he muttered sweetly, whenever he spoke his lips would brush against yours in an intoxicating way. So intoxicating it made your mind fuzzy. You smiled sweetly, a sudden feeling of peace washing over you as the two of you stayed this way for a minute or two.

After many soft caresses against your face and small jokes made inches apart, the two of you pulled away from each other with wide smiles.

“You did get quite carried away,” a voice echoed into the garden. Five jumped away from you at an alarming speed, standing up at the sound of his father’s voice from across the garden. “You’re just lucky that no one can see this little display,”

He seemed surprisingly at ease with this, he didn’t look mad, or disappointed, just slightly amused. “I’m glad you at least found a bride,”

“Bride?” you croaked back, anxiety settling in as you stared up at Five.

“Father, we haven’t discussed that,”

“Well, I sure hope you do, in the meantime I shall go inside and announce the news.” Reginald turned on his heel and headed back towards the ballroom. Five felt his feet stutter, he wanted to run after his father but the sound of your voice made him stop to look over at you.

“I can’t be queen,”

“Ella,” he rushed to your side in a panic. You looked up at him with sharp eyes, chest heaving up and down at a rapid pace as you tried your hardest to calm down.

“My name isn’t even Ella!” you yelled in response to the name, standing up to pace in front of him, absentmindedly chewing on your fingernails as you tried to think. Think about how anyone could view you as capable of being queen. It was impossible, that just wasn’t reality.

“Just calm down, we can talk about this,”  Five grabbed your hands, pulling them down from your face and holding them in his own.

You shuddered at his touch and if you weren’t panicking you were sure you’d be relishing in the way his hands felt so soft. Five’s hands moved to cup your face, those soft hands brushed sweet circles on your cheeks. Those sweet movements made your legs turn to jelly, forcing you to let out a slow breath. “Five, I can’t, in good conscience, be queen.”

“Why not?” Five questioned, surprising himself at his words. He didn’t even think about it before he said it. He felt stupid all of a sudden, the silence only confirming his fears, his heart dropped into his stomach as he stared into your eyes. He didn’t know how to read you.

You felt your bottom lip quiver, you didn’t want to cry in front of him. “Five, you don’t even know my real name.”

“Then tell me it, tell me everything about you, I’ve never felt like this before.” He was speaking from the heart for once in his life and he didn’t want to stop. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that his father had been there to ruin their romantic evening, but all he knew was that if he could feel like this for the rest of his life, he would be happy. It was a foreign concept for someone like him and his siblings, oh his siblings would love you, god he wanted you to be with him so bad it hurt.

You shook your head slowly as you pulled his hands away from your face and let them drop sadly. “I can’t, it’s not right.”

Not right? Five let those words roll around in his brain, staring dumbly at you as tears glistened in your eyes. Why were you crying? Then you turned and ran from him, it took him a second to follow you, still recovering from your words. He didn’t have time to wonder or time to pity himself, he had to catch up to you. He had to find you, but by the time he made it to the steps of the palace you were getting into a carriage and he knew he wouldn’t be able to catch you in time.

“You know you could just teleport,” Reginald said from the top of the steps.

“What’s the use if she doesn’t want me?”

“I know I’m not the most affectionate,” he paused, eyes landing on a shoe near the bottom of the steps “In fact, I’m not a very loving father at all, but I know what love is. I loved your mother and I love you and your siblings. I know you can’t see it but I do, so trust me when I tell you this,” He placed a hand on Five’s shoulder slowly, “Don’t let her go.”

~~

You were busy stuffing the dress, mask, and a single shoe into a chest. You had cried on the carriage ride home and only stopped when you finally felt a little numb. That numb feeling was replaced by fear as soon as you heard the booming voices of your step-siblings enter the house. Sleep, you could pretend to be asleep, it was as easy as that!

Elinor knocked on the open attic door the next morning, a sad look on her face as you stirred. She always did look a little sad, but today it seemed more prominent. A tiny part of you wished that she won Five’s heart instead of you. You groaned at the memory, holding back tears as you stared at her. “What’s wrong?”

“She’s worse than usual today,” was all she said before she was walking down the staircase with a frown.

You got dressed into your regular simple, stained covered dress and you felt calmer. This is where you belonged, you weren’t trained for petticoats and embroidered gowns, you were living as a maid. You didn’t want to imagine the stress of being a queen, and yet a part of you yearned for Five. Not for his status or the riches, just for him and his smile, his laugh.

The baroness frowned at you as you entered the sitting room, Elinor and Jane, at her side with their needle-points in hand. “The girls had a horrid night,”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Baroness.”

“I’m sure you are,” she snapped, earning a small jump from you. She held up the swan mask with a vicious glare “You did ruin it didn’t you?”

Panic was an emotion you were getting used to as you stared at the mask, there were two options. You could lie, say it isn’t yours, say it was a simple coincidence, or just tell her the truth. “I don’t regret it,” you smiled back, confidence wavering as she stood. If you could earn a proposal from a prince you could handle your stepmother, it was arrogant but it felt right.

“You will, I’ll make sure of it,” she promised as she stood in front of you, her hand raised in an almost dramatic way, flying down to deliver a blow to your cheek. You squeezed your eyes shut, waiting for the strike to hit, but it never came. Your eyes opened to take a peek at your savior, Elinor, standing in front of you with her mother’s hand inches away from her face.

“My night wasn’t ruined,” she said softly as she looked up at her mother. She swatted her mother’s hand away quickly, speaking in a bold tone suddenly. “Believe it or not, people don’t care for you. They care for your regality, but once they know you, they stop caring.”

Constance felt her eyes widen, mouth opening as her youngest daughter shushed her sharply, “The crown prince is going to come looking for her, you know that, Jane knows that, and I know that. So let him come and marry her.” she finished, pushing past her mother to sit back down next to Jane with a smile. You fought back tears of gratitude as you looked over at her before you turned back to Constance.

“I don’t understand how marrying the prince would be a bad thing. He asked me to and I said no because of you, because of how you made me feel, but,” you swallowed, looking down at your dirty clothes “He chose me.”

“Maybe he just wants another maid, but I will let you see him when he comes, and if he still wants you then be grateful.”

~~

His father had written to his siblings and so they were here. All of them. He loved his siblings, truly, they were just annoying, very, very annoying. Vanya was secretly his favorite, although he’d never tell her that. Klaus was discussing his husband, Dave, with a very annoyed Ben who just kept nodding and going ‘uh-huh’ and Allison was talking to Luther about her daughter. This is how it usually was, they all seemed to ignore the reason they were brought here and just went off into their own worlds. Five only had the attention of Diego and Vanya thus far, funnily enough, they were polar opposites and yet they both seemed so annoyed. “Hey!” Diego spoke up, snapping his head in the direction of his siblings “Can we all focus?”

“Focus on Five having a hard-on for a commoner?”

“Luther, I have a hard-on for a commoner.”

“Klaus, please stop talking about Dave,”

“Can we not call it that, please?” Five whimpered, stuffing his face into his hands, trying to rub away his on-coming headache.

“Dad said he caught the two of you kissing in the garden,” Klaus said, talking as if it was the most scandalous piece of news he had heard all week. “The ghosts of the palace say it was pretty steamy, three cheers for Five!”

“Please, focus.” Five begged his siblings as they laughed. “I just need you all to focus,”

Five waited for all eyes to be on him again before he continued “I propose and she ran off,”

“With your attitude, I would run away too,” Diego joked, playing with a small dagger.

“That’s not the point!” Five snipped, rubbing his temples harder before he let his hands drop with a defeated sigh. “I need to find her, I need to ask her again.”

“Why don’t you just ask someone else?” Luther questioned.

“Luther,” Allison said sharply “If someone told you to find a new wife, would you just simply ask someone else?”

“Well, no, but they kissed. It’s not like Five’s in love with her, right?” He turned his head towards Five, whose cheeks were turning a teasable color of pink.

“Well, I…” he trailed off, clearing his throat quickly to cover up for his embarrassment.

“Oh, he’s falling in love with her,” Klaus said, clapping his hands together with excitement. He mustered up his best, posh accent and said “Charles, let’s have a royal wedding, for the youngest please.” That’s when everyone started talking at once. Five heard some sentences like, ‘oh, I bet she’s beautiful’ or ‘do you think she can handle Five’ and so on.

He cleared his throat again, getting his siblings attention “I need us to split up,” and thus a plan was put into place; Vanya would be searching the inner city with Allison, Luther and Diego would be searching the farmlands, and Ben, Klaus and himself would be searching the grounds near the creek. He assumed you lived near there, but he wasn’t going to take any chances so there wasn’t going to be any stoned left unturned till he found you.

~~

Elinor, Jane, and Constance have long since gone to different parts of the cottage, but you stayed in the sitting room. You had changed to your best dress, one that was crisp and free of anything unseemly and shined the pretty shade of pink, but after that, you were glued to the sitting room. You had tried to read, but your mind was far too cluttered for any books at the moment, so you sat and thought about your mother and father. You thought about love and how they loved each other, trying your best to remember every beautiful detail possible.

Elizabeth broke your concentration when she came running into the sitting room. “Miss Y/N! The crown prince, he’s coming! Oh dear, he’s coming to you with his brothers! Oh, miss, I’m so happy for you.”

“He’s coming here, now.” you gasped, standing up quickly.

“Do you not want him to come, miss?”

“No! No, I do, I’m just,” you paused, hands shaking “Well, I’m scared.”

“He’ll love you, dear,” She beamed, moving to wrap you into a tight hug as a knock was sounded at the door. Elizabeth was off of you within seconds and scurried to the door with a laugh, she looked back at you for a second, waiting for you to give her the okay. You nodded quickly as you flattened out your dress, trying your best to look presentable.

You stood in the sitting room, staring at the door. You felt strange for not opening the door yourself and you felt guilty that you ran away. You should have said yes, you should have agreed to be with him last night. You felt your fingers twitch as panicked thoughts ran through your head at a thrilling speed. Elizabeth opened the door to let them in.

He was dressed differently now, he looked similar to how he looked when the two of you first met, and yet, he looked so different. He was still wearing a formal-looking suit, blues and gold decorated him handsomely and you could feel your heartbeat pounding inside your chest.  His eyes were soft, seeming more desperate and vulnerable than ever. As soon as he spotted you his feet stopped.

Two men followed him in, standing behind him with smiles. One was rather tall with long hair, fashionably dressed, and had the wider smile of the two. The other seemed just as happy but calmer, dressed in more formal attire. The sitting room was filled with silence before the taller man’s voice cut through, “So, you’re the little lady who danced about the ballroom with Five.”

“Klaus,” the other man said in a disappointed tone, his smile dropping as he stared at him. Then the silence continued. Five was looking for something to say, he wanted to say so many things before, but now he couldn’t get the words out. “Maybe we should go outside,” Ben muttered as he took note of the silence, pushing his brother out the door quickly, leaving you and Five alone.

“The suns going down,” Five blurted out quickly as his chest squeezed with anxiety.

“It took you all day to find me,” you joked as you took a step towards him.

Five smiled at you before turning his head down to look at his hands, fidgeting quietly. “I was waiting for my siblings,”

“They’re lovely,”

“Only you would say that.”

“And how would you know that?”

“Because you’re good,” he paused, lifting his head to meet your surprised gaze. “You’re good for me and you’re kind and unbearably naive. I mean who forgets her shoe on the steps of the palace. How childish, truly,” he laughed as he watched your face flush red.

“I would rather you call me something sweet instead of teasing me,”

“I would rather call you by your name.”

“It’s Y/N,” you responded sheepishly, giving Five an unsure smile as he echoed your name back to feel it on his lips. You watched as he blossomed into a large smile and nodded a little. You tilted your head to the side, laughing as you watched him mutter to himself with fascination, “What?”

“I think my last name fits perfectly at the end of that, what do you think?” He was teasing you, surely, he wasn’t doing this here, now? You felt your mouth go dry, butterflies hitting the walls on your stomach as you reached down to hold onto something. Five’s demeanor changed quickly upon seeing you sway, “No, wait, wait, I’m sorry!”

He was hovering over you nervously as you sat on the edge of a chair, his hands nervously finding your face. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles on them as you stared up at him. “You can’t joke like that, not if you don’t mean it.”

“If I don’t mean it?”

You stuttered for a short minute, mouth opening and closing like the mouth of a fish as he looked down at you. You swallowed sharply, stood up, and looked over at Five, “Then do it right, if you mean it, that is to say, propose to me properly.”

“Properly? You know I’m a prince, I was born to be proper.” He was joking at a time like this, earning a gentle frown from you before he was taking your hands in his in one swift movement. “Properly,” he repeated one last time, earning a nervous nod from you in the process.

“Growing up I never really had much optimism in my life, I was born with extraordinary abilities and yet my life was seemingly boring. I always felt as if I was missing something important, missing something that made life meaningful. I had books, royal duties, and standards. I had the makings of a good prince, indeed, but I think I was missing you. You have shown me colors I can’t see with anyone else. I can’t promise to be the best for you or to be the most earnest, or to be the most amiable, but I can promise to love you. So if you’ll have me, will you do me the honor of marrying me?” He finished his speech, moving to the ground to be on one knee, trying to catch his breath. He felt you squeeze his hands tight before pulling him up into a tight hug, kissing his cheek quickly.

“Of course, I will,” you whispered in his ear sweetly, pulling back from him with a smile. Five stood there, panting lightly as you were inches from his face before he let out an excruciating long sigh.

“Oh, thank god.” he released before he leaned in to kiss you firmly on the lips. You tripped over yourself to kiss him back with the same passion, smiling against his lips as you held onto him. Five was beaming, kissing you all over your face as he laughed. You felt laughter spill out of you quickly, swatting him away playfully and then you knew that as long as you had him next to you, you would be fine and the two of you would live happily ever after indeed.

[the-evil-duckling]

And now that Pride Month's over, Let's Talk About Pratchett.

The companies have taken down their flags. The marches and rallies are fading away. Rainbow colours are melting back into grayscale. And now that all the hubbub is dying down, let's talk about an author who did perhaps more than any other to introduce gender-and-sexual minorities to the public (and not just as a cute oddity to be cooed at from a distance, either).

Let's talk about an author whose works are perhaps the most representative, hard-hitting, and wholesome, in all of well-written English literature.

Let's talk about Pratchett.

Before we dive into the lovely little nitty-gritties, I want to just take a quick look at what Pratchett's writing really is, and what makes it so very exceptional. It's pretty simple, really.

He's funny.

That's the "secret" formula to Terry Pratchett's success across the global; he's funny everywhere, everywhen, across multiple generations and multiple decades and multiple geopolitical borders. You don't have to read Discworld with a lot of effort, thinking deeply after every line about the message the author is trying to convey. You don't have to analyze every character and every situation to see how the author is sculpting a crystal-clear mirror and holding it up to the face of Society. When I'm feeling down (cause college and life and pressure and dreams) and wanna start gouging out my forearms with my nails, I can just curl with one of my comfort books (like Men At Arms, or Unseen Academicals) and laugh and chuckle and just feel better. You can just enjoy it.

Now, I think, I can get to the fun stuff; analysing all of my favourite characters and the roles that they represent in mirroring Pratchett's view of People. (I should mention at this point that I am mainly going to be focussing on the Sam Vimes novels, and what I will be writing are my own thoughts and opinions. Anyone who knows more - or has just read/interpreted the books differently - is of course free to add their own musings.)

Fred Colon: Sergeant Colon is that rarest and yet most typical of things: Fred Colon is an ordinary person. He is no hero, or genius, or leader. He is not evil or even mildly malicious. And that is the very point that needs to be understood. People (most people) are not deliberately evil; they are, on the whole, fairly decent people who treat their friends well and try not to make enemies. It is just... petty selfishness, petty prejudices, petty apathy... all summated in every single member of the populace, and suddenly everyone knows that dwarfs are just money-grubbing bastards who'd bite your kneecaps off for a copper coin and trolls are dumber than the rocks they're made off but they'll as soon smash you to pulp as look at you and you can't trust a vampire cause they're too dead to be alive and-

Carrot Ironfoundersson: Captain Carrot is a cliché. Captain Carrot is a cliché wrapped inside a trope hidden in a Mary Sue, all turned on its head. Captain Carrot, rightful heir to the throne of Ankh, leader of all manner of beings, man who once beat Detritus in a fistfight... is not the hero of this story. In any other series, the story would have been of a brave new cop (who is also the king) standing up to the corruption and lawlessness of the Patrician while taking advice from his grizzled old half-drunk commander who dies four chapters into the first book with some vaguely portentous words that the hero remembers at the very last minute to give him the tools/strength/motivation necessary to keep fighting. But this is Pratchett. And the hero of the story, if there is one, is very much the grizzled old commander. Two other points have also always struck me about Carrot. The first is the matter of identity. Biologically, Carrot is very much a human, but in all other ways that matter he is entirely a dwarf - his name is Kzad-bhat, and even the deep-down dwarfs do not question his dwarfishness - and yet that does make him any less a human. In this is reflected the multiplicity of identity (not just of gender, which is what most people immediately jump to, but all identities). The second point is of the relationship between Carrot and Angua, which seemed to me a representation of a healthy dom/sub relationship. Unlike the twisted shit we find on ao3 (and in some published books that I don't feel that I need to name), Angua is at no point portrayed as lesser, weaker, incapable, dependent, or deferent. She is her own person, and the two of them just happen to have this kind of chemistry.

Samuel Vimes: Ahhhh. His Grace, His Excellency, The First Duke of Ankh, Blackboard Monitor Samuel Vimes, Commander of the City Watch. The protagonist, if not quite the hero, of the series. He is not perfect, not even close. He is casually discriminatory (species-ist?) and thoughtless in most of what he says. his saving graces are that his discrimination is universally applied at all beings living and dead, and that he has never, not even once, allowed his personal feelings of prejudice stand in the way of justice (which is at times, all that separates him from Fred Colon). Does that mean that it's all okay, and everything is now fine and dandy and hunky-dory? No. Not even fucking close. Words matter and actions matter and even how you feel deep inside - all of it matters. Prejudice is prejudice, and it is always wrong. there are no mitigating circumstances, no 'yes, but...' that can make it acceptable. But only an idealistic idiot would say that it is not better than the alternative. And this is the reason that Vimes is one of my favourite protagonists; he is not a hero. He is real.

Leonard of Quirm: A parody of the public perception of a genius (perhaps of Roundworld's Tesla and da Vinci), I have loved Leonard as a character ever since I realised he was gay. Allow me to elaborate. As I was recently re-reading Jingo, I noticed a line that went something like 'He started drawing how The-Going-Under-The-water-Safely-Device could be improved, piloted by a muscular man who was not overdressed'. And just like that, a couple dozen other off-hand comments slotted into place and I realized the homosexual truth. And I love this portrayal of homosexuality, because most books or movies or tv shows or fanfictions with a gay MC (or even sidekick) tend to have a storyline roughly equivalent to 'hey my name is [insert name here] and I'm GAY and I have a destiny to save the world and my family and my GAY boyfriend whom I'm dating cause I'm GAY and before I go outside I have to pick my outfit really carefully better go with salmon-rose-flutter pink cause I'm GAY and now I'm outside and I'm not very popular and this is my tragic backstory cause a lot of people don't like me cause I'm GAY and-' Yeah. This is not good writing. By barely mentioning anything, Pratchett somehow still managed to emphasise that a) homosexuality is one of your identities, not all of them and b) just because a story has a character who is gay doesn't mean that the story becomes about a character being gay.

Trev Likely: One sentence. Just one sentence. 'Hating people was too much work.'

If you actually made it this far, you are obliged to reblog. I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules. (Please?)

[twh-news]

We spoke to Tom Hiddleston about Loki, PowerPoint presentations and the nature of free will

Despite a decade of playing Loki in several Marvel movies and now a TV show, Tom Hiddleston isn’t tired of the role. “There is always something new to be found,” he says The edge.

This week is the premiere of Loki on Disney Plus, a six-episode series that marks the character’s first lead role. It is a story of time travel and branched timelines as Loki is captured by an organization called the Time Variance Authority (TVA). It combines action, humor and some old-fashioned detective work, while tackling serious topics such as the nature of free will. There are also some new faces on board as Hiddleston is joined by Marvel newcomers Owen Wilson, who plays a TVA agent named Mobius, and director Kate Herron, best known for her work on the first season of Sex education.

Prior to the show’s premiere, I had the chance to talk to Hiddleston about his time as a character, a presentation that made him feel like an “amateur academic giving a thesis on Loki,” working with Wilson and Herron, and whether our lives are predetermined. Typical Marvel stuff.

The following interview has been edited and abbreviated for clarity.

We are now at a decade where you play Loki. How have your feelings about the character changed or grown over that time?

I’m honestly just thankful that I’m still here. I find that I am always surprised and happy that I get another chance in it. Long before I was cast, Loki was just the most fascinating and complex character with such depth and range, and he’s been in Marvel comics in several iterations for 60 years, and he’s been in our thoughts, in stories we tell as humans, for hundreds, if not thousands of years. I find that even though it has been 10 years, every time I come back, there is always more to discover. There is always more to dig because these impostors are kind of mercurial and shape-shifting. So there is always something new to be found.

"“Loki is out of control. He’s a man on the run.”"

Now that you’ve focused this six-episode series on Loki, what were you looking forward to exploring with this? What were you hoping to dive into?

I think he’s really opening up and bringing out his many different identities and facets. In my preparation to play the character, I’ve always seen him have so many different and seemingly contradictory characteristics. You think, “How can all these characteristics exist in one person, in one being?” And yet they do.

Loki has always been a character in all MCU movies that seems to be very controlled. He seems to know what cards he has in his hand and how he is going to play them. And Loki, in the TVA – this organization that rules time – has gotten out of hand. He’s a man on the run. And he is motivated by a desire to understand. Suddenly he discovers that there is all this information that he does not have, and he has to get his hands on it. And that actually gives the series great momentum. Loki is on the back foot, everyone knows more than him, and seeing how he adapts, seeing how he improvises after that – if improvisation is possible in the TVA. That’s a question we’re trying to raise, whether you have free will.

I read about the Loki school you led to prepare the team for the character’s history. How did you prepare for that? Did you actually know it all, or did you have to do a lot of research?

I wish it wouldn’t be 10 hours long. I knew I had to summarize what I found useful to tell the crew. It came about thanks to Kate Herron, our director who has done an extraordinary job on this whole series, and he thought maybe it would be a good idea to get everyone together because there were so many department heads, different crew members – production design, costume design, cinematography, camera, sound, stunts – and wanting to make sure everyone had the same information about Loki, and it might be helpful to listen to my experience. I was trying to explain how we constructed Loki’s arc across the six movies he’s in the MCU and figure out what was useful in that arc and what we could leave behind.

I suddenly felt extremely nervous, as if I were an amateur academic writing a thesis on Loki. You’ll have to ask the others if it was helpful at all. But at least we synchronized the watches and we started from the same place.

"“If I were tall enough to use PowerPoint, I could retire and become a full-time professor.”"

So is there a PowerPoint file out there somewhere that will leak out one day?

If I was highly skilled enough to use PowerPoint, I could retire and become a full-time professor.

I did have a few clips. I thought there were some clips from the movies that could be helpful. It was interesting, even though it was about how the costume had changed over the years and why. And when does Loki wear the horns? Are the horns a casual thing? Are they a ceremonial thing like a crown? Is it an extension of an inner intention? Do the horns come out if he’s particularly evil? Why is her hair different? Sometimes he wears a cape, sometimes not. Sometimes he uses magic, sometimes he uses his own body to fight in combat. All questions that people were curious about.

I know this was meant for the rest of the crew, but was it helpful for you to go through this again as you prepared to jump back into the role?

Oh yes, absolutely, just to refresh myself about certain decisions we had made and why certain things were changed… sometimes you try to bring very elaborate and beautifully illustrated comic book panels into a physical reality on a movie set and figure out how to merge these two worlds. It was interesting. I got some great questions about how he moves the way he does and where certain things showed up in stunts, especially hair, makeup and wardrobe, how the clothes changed and why we made those choices.

It was interesting to refresh myself on the extraordinary input, because I carry the inspiration of great people with me. [Thor director] Kenneth Branagh and Alexandra Byrne, our costume designer; Bo Welch who designed the first Thor movie; Charlie Wood who was production designer on The dark world; the whole crew of Ragnarok; Mayes Rubeo, the costume designer of Ragnarok; and people like Douglas Noe, who has been doing makeup on Loki for a long time. So there was a lot to unpack.

Both Kate Herron and Owen Wilson are newcomers to the Marvel machine. Is it helpful to have such an external perspective?

Absolutely. Both Kate and Owen came in with so many questions because they hadn’t lived in Loki’s head for 10 years. They have a fresh take on it. Kate was so well prepared and so well researched; she even brought in new Marvel Publishing material that I’d never seen before, about Loki’s inner world. Owen came in and asked me a lot of questions about my experience. I remember him saying, “Tom, why should I?” you do you like to play Loki?” And I found myself saying, “Well, he’s just got this whole range. He can play the light keys, but he can also play the heavy keys in the bass clef. And somehow the character has both.” And he loved that way of thinking about it, he said, “I think I could say that on the show.” And so it was really his very intelligent question that took us elsewhere in the story.

Given the themes of the first two episodes, I have to ask: do you believe in free will?

I hope so. Free will is such an interesting, eternal question. I think people have asked to what extent we have the power of self-determination, self-realization, choice about our actions and whether we can control the course of our lives. It goes back to evolutionary or psychological arguments about nature and nurture and why we are who we are. Maybe it’s the journey of a lifetime to find out, to really take the wheel of your own life. Because we are set on a path in childhood, I think, often by accident – the misfortune of birth, where we were born and when – and we are propelled in many ways by the unconscious.

That’s a complicated answer. It’s a complex question. So I hope so. I hope true free will is possible. But for all of us, I think it can be a long journey of self-discovery.

[arvandus]

🎉750!!🎉

Congrats on the milestone!! I’m so happy to see your blog growing because I really do think you deserve it! 💖💖💖

I hope you’re still accepting requests for your event. I can’t decide between Hawks (who I love) and Dabi (who you write so well ❤️) so I’ll let you pick whichever gives you more inspiration. Anyway, can I have “best friends to lovers” headcanons for whoever you decide on?

Thanks and congrats again!!! 😘

Thank you so much! 💕 I will totally write Hawks for you! I've actually been really enjoying writing his character, he's one of my favorite to write for. :) Sorry if this got a bit long.... you know how I am... Hawks x Reader (Friends to Lovers)

🪶 Keigo has never had a shortage of ‘friends.’ That doesn’t mean that any of those friendships are meaningful, though. Fame is like that. Everyone wants to know you, wants to be close to you, to use the word ‘friend’ like a VIP ticket, not realizing that the word has lost its meaning, its value cheapened by fake smiles and invasive questions.

🪶 Which is why meeting you is so interesting.

🪶 The first thing Keigo notices about you is that you’re nice. Not the kind of ‘nice’ that’s used as a tool, that screams of shallowness fueled by selfish motive. No, your kindness comes from within, and it is given to everyone. It is just a part of who you are, genuine goodness wrapped in a gentle smile.

🪶 The second thing he notices is that, unlike so many others, you don’t go out of your way to throw yourself at him. You smile and greet him when you see him, ask him how he’s doing, but you never try to push anything past that. You never try to take more than he’s willing to give.

🪶 It almost makes him feel normal, whatever that means. He’s not familiar with normal, never has been. He’s good at faking it, of course… but real normalcy? What even is that?

🪶 Whatever it is he’s feeling, he likes it.

🪶 Keigo enjoys the gradual slow pace of your growing friendship. It’s a nice contrast to his fast lifestyle. When he’s around you, everything slows down and he can breathe.

🪶 He starts spending more time with you, meeting up for lunches and going out for drinks after.

🪶 Boy, do the tabloid papers enjoy that… rumors fly faster than Hawks’ feathers.

🪶 He 100% gets in trouble with his PR manager; after all, he’s supposed to be Japan’s #1 bachelor.

🪶 The two of you laugh about it though. You two? An item? Please. You’re just good friends.

🪶 The friendship doesn’t grow to best friend level until you two start hanging out in the privacy of your homes. It’ll be small, casual things at first - maybe he’ll come by to pick up the jacket he lent you. Or maybe you’ll drop off some cookies you baked. It’ll happen gradually, naturally. A lunch here, a movie night there.

🪶 Once that happens, Keigo starts opening up more to you. After all, there are no paparazzi watching him, no clicking of cameras, no risk of conversations being recorded. It’s slow going and be patient with him - he’s likely never had this level of friendship before. You open up to him too, and it only brings you two closer together as you two build your trust.

🪶 Once that trust is established, you become the center of his world. He doesn’t realize it though, at least not right away. He just knows that he wants to be around you. All. The. Time.

🪶 Keigo suddenly starts seeing you differently. You shine a bit brighter, catching his eye whenever you’re in his presence. He becomes super invested in your happiness, more so than ever before. He’ll do anything to see you smile, and keep finding reasons to be around you. He might even get a little protective.

🪶 He finally gets his epiphany that he’s falling for you when he drops something work-related when you desperately need him. He’s never done that before, and he notices. Somehow you’ve become his top priority. More important than hero work, more important than anything.

🪶 Cue Keigo’s internal panic. He suddenly realizes how vulnerable you make him and he’s not sure how to feel about that.

🪶 Don’t be surprised if he pulls away at first. Love is scary if you’ve never felt it before. Especially like this.

🪶 Keigo’s entire identity has been defined by his work as a hero. He’s had nothing else. He was literally trained into this role. Suddenly his identity becomes more than that. It becomes tied to you.

🪶 He’s going to be grappling with a lot of guilt and fear. Does he even know how to be more than just a hero? Is it possible to make space for you in his crazy life? And what about you? Could you really handle the pressure that his fame might bring on you? You’ve already dealt with it somewhat as his friend, but handling it as his partner will be so, so different. Most importantly… could he even be enough for you? Sure he’s a famous hero. But deep down he’s just…. Keigo: a lonely man from a broken childhood. When all is said and done, what does he really have to offer?

🪶 It’ll take him some time. Eventually though, he’ll come around. Especially once he realizes that he’s on the verge of losing you (he did ghost you for a while after all…).

🪶 When he finally does come to terms with his feelings for you, he’ll show up unannounced at your door.

🪶 First words: “I’m sorry.”

🪶 Maybe you’ll need time to talk to him. Or maybe you’ll accept him right away. That part is up to you. But when you do finally accept his apology and he learns that not only are you not going anywhere but that you also care for him in return, he’ll scoop you up into his arms and kiss you.

🪶 After that, you two will pick up where you had left off, falling into the deep-rooted habits of your strong friendship. But it’s more than that now. Because the two of you become two halves of a whole, enriching each other’s lives in ways that neither of you had ever had before. It’ll feel strangely familiar and yet wonderfully new. Filled with snuggles, kisses, and laughter, and the promise of a bond that will only grow stronger with time.