#fictional president election

[fictionalpresidentelection]

Fictional President Election Quarterfinals Bracket 3

[tournamentdirectory]

In a more beautiful world, we could choose our president from all of fiction. @fictionalpresidentelection serves as a portal to that wonderful world.

Run by @alexknight002.

[my-castles-crumbling]

"Do you have a plan?" "I have concepts of a plan!"

Me, halfway through writing a 100k word long fanfiction.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

non american mutuals, i don’t really know how to say this, but like. you’re a reminder that this isn’t everything. it’s not the whole world. comforting words and thoughts would be appreciated, even if you don’t think you have anything to offer. i’m guessing i’m not the only american tumblr user who feels that way right now

[texasthrillbilly]

Vote green🥕

[louisapennyfeather2021]

Welcome to Sam's Dream Journal.

Entry #1(the one and ONLY entry):

Last night I have a dream that had a plot, but I forget all of it because I saw a giant Ao3 banner on a TV screen advertising the release of the third fanfic of a series and told myself I had to tell the Group Chat about it.

The fic was titled "UNDERWORLD TO 53" and was the continuation of Former President Bill Clinton waking up in Area 51 only to find himself impregnated by one of the aliens that had infiltrated the United States. Fic #1 had been about how, during his presidency, Clinton's administration discovered that aliens were real and hid the information away. Fic #2 took place during Hillary's run for president when Bill dove back into politics with the intention of revealing the truth to the People before it was too late, only for the aliens to begin their invasion in Area 51. UNDERWORLD TO 53 followed Bill, Hillary, and the alien spawn as the Clinton's spread word to each state that aliens had compromised various US cities such and Tampa and San Francisco.

Don't ask me where this absolute crack riddled dream came from, I'm just as pained as you are that my subconscious created it.

It was complete with an Ad Banner of a map of the United States with markers for compromised cities, quotes from the fic, and tags(including mpreg).

Some brave soul on the internet will see this and turn it into a cracked masterpiece.

[lamphous]

well okay! we'll see how this goes!

[mockva]

Having no pre-election program, having refused pre-election debates, this man is collecting 4 million signatures for nominating himself as president, from people whom no one has seen.

[doctorkaiju]

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[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

... I'm sorry ... what?????????????????????????

(The whole thread started with the guy complaining about people "now" calling Kyiv ... Kyiv - and not Kiev.)

Also, a new word for us dropped: Hitlerites.

[shortnasties]

3027. I've Recently Learned

This is called "I've Recently Learned." I hope you follow me into the future.

that President James Garfield's favorite meal was squirrel soup.

[fictionalpresidentelection]

Congratulations to the winner of the Fictional President Election and the Official Tumblr President, Betty Boop!

This was a very close and intense finals, but Betty took down Roosevelt! I hope everyone had a lot of fun with this tournament, I sure did! (Although I’m still disappointed Miku Binder Jefferson lost). If you enjoyed it, check out my ongoing tournament @flagwars. See the previous rounds here.

Thank you to everyone for your participation!

[dreamyelectronicmusic]

Imagine being a citizen of fictional Sweden. The crown prince dies in a car crash. He is succeeded by his younger brother who was recently involved in a fight that went viral. Just a few weeks later, he is involved in a gay sex tape scandal. But then it turns out it wasn't him. But then it turns out it was him, and also the school the royal family have been educated at for generations is super fucked up. And then he says fuck the monarchy, love wins 💜. And he's replaced by some cousin you've barely even heard of.

(And then, possibly, some amateur internet sleuth posts a four hour video detailing how the former crown prince's sex tape was leaked by the current crown prince, causing a constitutional crisis. There is no one to replace the third crown prince you've had in just a few years. You might as well elect a president.)

[beauty-funny-trippy]

Reasons why we know there's something wrong with Grandpa:

• believes immigrants are eating their neighbors pets because he heard someone say it on TV (without any evidence) • thinks injecting disinfectant into our veins might be a good idea. (It's definitely not, don't try it.) • claims America's F35 fighter jet is completely invisible, even if you're right next to it (like Wonder Woman's plane)

• praises white supremacists and KKK members who were chanting antisemitic hate speech, calling them "very fine people" • focuses on imaginary issues like preventing children from changing gender while at school, but ignores real problems like school shootings • thought it was a good idea to give away our desperately needed Covid test machines to our adversary ("Grandpa, what have you done?" — he can't be left alone for a minute) • decided to believe Putin's lies, but dismiss findings from America's intelligence agencies • claims America had airplanes during the Revolutionary War

• believes in the Nazi ideology that immigrants are "poisoning the blood of our country," and says some migrants are actually subhuman "animals" • insisted that the U.S. would have fewer coronavirus cases if it conducted less testing (yes, a U.S. president in charge of controlling the crisis, actually said something this inept, repeatedly) • due to his incompetence and lies during the Covid crisis, the U.S. had one of the highest rates of Covid deaths in the world • thinks windmills cause cancer and kill whales • speaks endlessly about his concerns re: dying by electrocution from a boat battery or being eaten by a shark

• thinks he's above the law and, as president, should be able to commit as many crimes as he wants • is a billionaire who whines about how badly he's been treated, then he's chauffeured to his private jet • likes to discuss Arnold Palmer's penis • after NINE years of repeatedly promising to unveil his Healthcare Plan "very soon," he admits he still has no real plan —only "concepts of a plan" • has a bizarre attraction to the fictional cannibal and serial killer, Hannibal Lector (why? no one knows —and everyone's afraid to ask)

• advocates dangerous plots, like using the military against Americans who disagree with him, or using the DOJ to arrest them, or just telling people to "beat the crap out of them" and he'll pay their legal fees • thinks having a national day of violence is a good idea (we should never have let Grandpa watch "The Purge") • wants to be the "law and order president," yet this 34 time convicted felon incites people to riot and to commit criminal acts of violence • unable to take the loss of an election like a man, he had a temper tantrum like a toddler, that culminated in a treasonous insurrection

⠀This guy is so delusional, he claims he's a genius because he often speaks incoherently in something he calls "the Weave." Here are two examples: • "How disgusted were all when we see all of us are when we see three days ago when we viewed their parade." Asheboro, NC, 8/21/24 • When asked, "What specific legislation will you commit to, to make child care affordable?" He responded, “Well, I would do that, and we’re sitting down, you know; I was, somebody, we had Senator Marco Rubio and my daughter, Ivanka, who was so impactful on that issue. ...But I think when you talk about the kind of numbers that I’m talking about that because the childcare is childcare, couldn’t, you know, there’s something you have to have it, in this country you have to have it.” New York, NY, 9/5/24 ⠀If this was anybody else's Grandpa, the family would be having discussions about who's going to go with Grandpa to the doctor to find out what's wrong with him, and who's going to be in charge of finding him a nice convalescent home to live in. ⠀My suggestion is that it might be a good idea to elect a president who has no cognitive impairment and can tell the difference between reality and delusions. Personally, I think that's a rather important quality in a president.

[texasthrillbilly]

[justinspoliticalcorner]

John Pavlovitz at The Beautiful Mess:

This is an urgent moment.

In the days before the most consequential election of our lifetimes, a disturbing fiction has taken hold in many progressive voters’ minds: the idea that rejecting Kamala Harris in the voting booth is a way of hurting her personally; that abstaining or protest voting is an effective individual penalty for what they believe is her mishandling of the deadly crisis in the Middle East (one that began decades ago and that will surely outlive all of us). They see their vote (or their lack of it) as a righteous middle finger to the Vice President, and almost gleefully imagine they are injuring her by opting out or voting third party, boasting about enjoying her possible defeat:

This emotional response, is and has always been evidence of people of privilege who are either not students of recent history, have not been paying attention to the words and actions of the two candidates, or who refuse to play the movie ahead past November 5th. Ever since the sickening Hamas-birthed terrorist horrors in Israel on October 6th and Israel’s scorched earth response since then, we have seen a rising sentiment here among some Left voters that has made this a dealbreaker for them regarding the Vice President, despite the simply unthinkable alternative. And yes, the Biden Administration’s handling of the staggering violence that has unfolded in Gaza is surely greatly flawed and far from what many of us wish to see, myself included. But the reality, is that while a rejection of Kamala Harris would be a political defeat for her, it is an act of premeditated violence against the Palestinian people.

Donald Trump has admitted to weekly conversations with Benjamin Netanyahu, and that he has advised him to “do what he needs to do” in Gaza. He has recently promised to reinstitute a Muslim ban here, and in May of this year, the wannabe president said, "Under no circumstances should we bring thousands of refugees from Hamas-controlled terrorist areas like Gaza to America.” Trump has also repeatedly promised “bloody” mass deportations of immigrants from this country, both legal and illegal. In what universe will willfully placing him in power do anything but put the people of Gaza in greater peril? What is the substantive evidence that this will ultimately be anything but a performative purity stance, that helps no one other than those who squander their votes by intentionally empowering a monster? Kamala Harris is an imperfect human being, but one who will be accountable to the American people as its leader. She will be a President who we can criticize and call to task in areas of disagreement—and we will. Donald Trump will be a sociopathic, violent, self-described “dictator on day one,” with complete immunity from any atrocities he chooses. To both sides these two candidates and offer false equivalencies is tantamount to participation in further bloodshed.

This piece from John Pavlovitz is spot-on regarding the Gaza Genocide and harm reduction measures being necessary by electing Kamala Harris.