#feels too personal on main idk
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after dropping off the face of the earth for almost two weeks: back to reblogging haha
#delete later#hiding this here because I went back to cali to see friends and it was really nice to see them ahhhhh#also because I feel like if I yelled this on main idk it feels too like...big of a space to yell it on HAHA if that makes sense#feels too personal on main idk#anyways I miss being able to make visual jokes and make my friend laugh without almost saying anything hgjff#I wanna yell about my friends casually just scrubbing my hair/buzzcut lmAO#or how I finally got to watch a horror movie with the only other horror watcher in the group hahaha#or about how a guy friend when I was sleeping over was looking up articles about stuff to help with cramps#while I was in the shower/cramps acted up and was like hey article says green tea might help and we have that do you want#also hanging out with friends just reminds me how I like making people laugh mfnghgh#inhales#anYWAYS I love my friends fhmghjhaha okay bye#I'm glad so far I'm not having that weird readjustment period or a hard time settling down like the previous times I came back#plus I didn't bring my tablet over just a sketchbook and sitting down and just drawing was really nice/made me look forward#to going back home and drawing
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gave ransom another makeover dont look at me this is the last time i swear
#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4#i guess you could say rans like...my main oc??? even though all of them are rly my mains i guess no ones rly a SIDE character fr#but ransom is definitely my favorite and most developed for sure....everyone else is kind of connected THROUGH him??#does that make him the main?? idk. i love all my children equally (i dont care for brooklyn)#i saved him to my library as “RAN FINAL FORM” so. im legally required to never edit him again#i would give him a little bio post but i dont even know where to start and it would be too long#all u need to know is that hes incredibly mentally ill and incredibly beautiful#which i feel are the two most important defining traits a person can have
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2024 reads / storygraph
Asunder
slow-paced high fantasy
a woman who has a contract with an eldritch entity allowing her to see the dead & survives by taking various jobs
when a job searching for stranded smugglers in a cave goes wrong, she ends up with the soul of a dying stranger bound to her shadow
along with a scholar and her old childhood friend, they travel to his home country to find a way to unbind him and save them both
dark fantasy world with gods, demonic entities, arcane magic, and semi-sentient beasts used as transport
#asunder#kerstin hall#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#okay SUPER fascinating worldbuilding with some very visceral creatures and biological constructs and interesting magic systems.#many things I like. A great cast of characters. Honestly I could read tons more stories set in this world.#it’s very slow building and meandering narratively; focusing on the complex journey of the main character#didn’t love the audio narration tbh - it felt like some lines are read with the wrong emphasis or tone? but I got used to it after a while#So this has one of my absolute favourite tropes (bodysharing.) unfortunately it turns it into a romance which is. well.#it just doesn’t hit the same if you make it romantic!! so that kinda made it change traintracks from being on a direct line to#potentially 5 stars to a whole different station where i do not live. lol.#I SUPPOSE it’s a well developed relationship and I’d prefer romances more like that than instalove I guess.#I did love their dynamic; too; but suddenly realising it was romantic threw me for a loop. I had put him in the annoying dad category.#I do also feel like we didn’t get quite enough of him as an individual person and characterisation - which obviously makes sense to an#extent; but I felt like I only got to see more of him in the brief time around his father.#Also he was surprisingly chill and nice to her immediately considering he was essentially her hostage???#Anyway I did enjoy a lot of it; it just suffers the unfortunate tragedy of#[literally my favourite thing made for me] [turns that thing into literally my least favourite thing i hate]#but also -random dude you’re bound to being overly protective and considerate despite barely knowing you (platonic/familial vibe) - yeah!#random dude you’re bound to being overly protective and considerate despite barely knowing you (romantic) ehhhh…idk.....#(to me personally. i'm sure people enjoy that. whatever)
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I know the fandom is shrinking so it makes this even harder but are there active yr blogs who also contribute something to faves fest that doesn't include wilmon (besides like the two other blogs I can think of)? Or in general any blogs who post content of literally any other character? I seriously wanna know, are there Sara blogs, Felice blogs, etc? If so, I would love to follow them so in case you are and see this, please speak up
Or let me rephrase this: are there any people who are interested in including more Sara or Felice or other characters on their blog?
#young royals#sara eriksson#felice ehrencrona#i feel like I'm speaking into the void but I just had to try#2 years in the fandom and i have yet to come across more than one yr fanblog that isn't wilmon centric#and it only bugged me slightly before but it's bothering me more and more#i wanna see Felice gifs and pictures and sara and actually also august and wanna see people talking about them#just like they would do with wille and simon#and all that content is lovely but i wish i could curate my blog more specifically and diverse and less focused on one thing#i wish there was a community for the other main characters and also the side characters#i just want more variety#and idk if just nobody else does or if ppl got so intimidated by the vast amount of wilmon content they just never tried to go against it#i never complained about it either until recently but now it's probably too late to expect other content#I'm 2/3 years too late#problem in general is that people just don't reblog stuff anymore so how is something supposed to grow and be shown to others?#so any non wilmon stuff is just shared even less in the smaller fandom that we already have#and that is sadly not very encouraging#personal
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He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌
(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)
#dbtag#Idk why Toei didn't lean into Vegeta being a version of Piccolo you could put in funnier situations like Toriyama wrote#He's reserved and professional and proud but JUST immature enough to bite down on a gag that Piccolo would readily swerve#But they take a lot of Goku's chaotic comedy away too in favor of Hero(tm) writing and that is why I keep pulling my hair out aklsjdlas#Toriyama was sO funny and it bums me out so much that the anime derailed how lighthearted and straight up silly the humor is#and replaced it with Misogyny Is Funny and humiliation kinks asjklfhadjk and it's not just my complaints about Vegeta and Bulma!!#“Goku is running away from his very reasonable wife because he is a goofy little guy who doesn't want to do his chores” becomes#“Chichi is Cruel to Goku who is Trying to be a good husband because she doesn't relate to his passions and vilifies him for having them"#which is not their dynamic at all but dudes in the writing room are like “being married is fucking awful amirite fellas hahaha”#but Toriyama was like “Being married is not for everybody but it can be really great if you and your partner are on the same page”#Chichi's reasonable! And Goku isn't romantically wired but Goku can enthusiastically consent to sex and still not enjoy kissing#those things can be and are true for a lot of people! And it makes even more sense if you hc Goku to be aspec (and audhd coded) like I do#Kissing can feel gross and can be a sensory overload for many folks. Doesn't mean they're stupid or innocent.#(although Goku CAN still ride nimbus so idk what Pure entails in this universe askljad)#Like I am the FIRST person to joke and drag Goku about his marriage as an aspec myself but like legit Goten is a Last Night On Earth baby#He knows what sex is. But also between how socially removed Goku is and how Shy and Conservative Chichi it's not out of line#to assume the actual words sex and kiss have never been spoken in that house skljdlajdf I FULLY believe Chichi uses code words#Chichi thinks her son being blonde makes him a delinquent and still uses honorifics with Goku like it is fully reasonable to assume#that the joke of Goku's naivetè centers around the fact that his wife is too embarrassed to talk about Certain Matters in a normal way#While Bulma and Vegeta are slutty hedonistic cityfolk who need jesus (according to chichi probably...and me but I support them)#anyway. point is. Toriyama was funny as hell and Nekomajin is absolutely ridiculous and goofy and has a fully amoral main character#which just reminded me that toei is allergic to letting goku be a gremlin and so vegeta's not allowed to be a gremlin wrangler#even though that's been his job since the day he met raditz alksdjaskljd
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Anyway I love Black people and seeing this explosion of creative and cultural expression is healing something in me I think 🥺
Now to make some Black ATSV moots to bounce playlist ideas off of…
#atsv#across the spider verse#black in fandom#miles morales 42#Hobie brown#margo kess#miles morales#no between these four I can have unlimited black love ships and that’s so—#even with my other big fandom…the main love interests are both white chile#I feel bad I have read much margo fic because my fic interest is basically just /Hobie#Flowerbyte and Prowlerbyte are making POINTS#as is PunkFlower and PunkProwler#even all their ship names are adorable like??#also? idk how to ask without making ppl feel alienated but uh#what…what about an interdimensional all black friend group 👉🏾👈🏾#love the spiderband as much as then next person but Margo and Miles 42 is excluded a lot from them#the sibling energy that can exist between them too…basically I’m into everything??#I just love black people being happy in community and/or in love ok#this is for the niggas strictly for the niggas
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I have all these little asoiaf ocs stuck in my head and I’m not a writer nor am I super huge on original stories in existing universes usually and I’m not very creative which is why I do mostly fan art. So like. I don’t even know what to do with them, they just exist.
#I guess if anyone wants any of these ocs they can have them just tell me#they’re primarily book centric ocs#idk I just feel like the world building is so ripe for storylines of other characters#related to the main story or not#there’s some targs too like#like???#so so so much potential#idk I my brain just goes brrrrr#asoiaf#personal#idk man#asoiaf OC
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Really awful that this even needs to be a thought in my head at all but I’m dreading that if Liam Payne’s death is indeed a suicide, people will make it about ‘cancel culture’ and ‘mob mentality’ and whatever the fuck and dismiss and harass his ex and the women who’ve spoken out about his behaviour recently. Make no mistake regardless this death is shocking and tragic, but the internet is allergic to nuance, feel like its gonna get pissed away, all the allegations made ‘nought’ or excessive or all equates to harassment and bullying. It’s gonna become a talking point about fucking ‘wokeness’. Any victims who’ve stepped forward, they’re gonna hear ‘Didn’t you get your wish? You killed a man’. Jesus Christ.
#dreading it dreading it dreading it#liam payne#// death mention#// death#// suicide mention#// suicide#// victim blaming#catastrophising#I do worry this sounds unsympathetic#and having this be the main thing that comes to mind to me feels pretty wretched#but man it’s like Alec Holowka all over again I do not trust what the internet landscape is gonna be in the coming days#on a personal note#thinking of my friends from year 5#my whole class went to a music studio for a friends 9th or 10th birthday party and she was a directioner so we took it in turns in groups#singing what makes you beautiful into the mic of a recording booth#and a few weeks later I had a science homework about what the airs made out of and did an extension#where I wrote a parody song ‘you don’t know what you’re breathing’ and it was peak and I still remember some of the lyrics#I think a good couple of the girls liked liam the most iirc#idk if this bothers them much since this was a younger group of fans so different experience#but I hope they’re not too shaken#fuck.#anecdote#ty if you read these tags#vent post#// real person death
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Vvvvvv messy doodles of magical girl au
#enstars#crazy b#crazy magic b#<- temporary name#euu wont tag more than that#now for rambles sooooo my main concept idea is a world with magical girls(gender neutral i still need to thing about how everything#interacts with gender and genre expectations#id say for now gender neutral with outfit aesthetics influenced more by the magic giving entity)#so magical girls choosen seemingly at random by some entity to protect the area from creature which are the manifestation of repressed#desires and dreams gone rotten#and so our characters have to defeat these monsters and purify the person/give them back their dreams/want to live#and so your standard magical girl focuses on purifying and giving people their dreams#idk if that makes sense#euuu not much is known about magical girls and how they work and one of the main theories is that magical girls are born when a persons#dreams and desires grow strong enought that they crystallise in magic powers#idk trust me so if you want something as much as you can and work on in in pure acts of love you too can be a magical girl#euuu ill reread the war tm to better write this but#i just visualise these flavour of magical girl like the idols of eichis dreams#crazy b stand a little to the left rinne positing that euu things blabla live life to your fullest feel your emotions allow yourself to be#alive a pure dream is nice if the rest of your emotions and wants are ignored they will rot (i need to reread the main story and nightclub)#yea euu ill make it coherent when im not bone tired#moth draws
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idk if it means anything really, but i think it's interesting how after all their time together as a couple in a christianity-adjacent world, lucifer and lilith only had one (1) child, and it was only 200 years ago at that
#for a show based on a religion notorious for the expectation put on women to become mothers (especially at a young age)#(and in certain extreme cases the only real role of a woman being essentially that of a breeding tool/incubator)#it's a neat detail (though quite likely unintentional) that the Ultimate 1 Most Horrible Sinner Couple betrayed heaven's rules#then went on to have a long (happy? generally successful?) relationship without needing/rushing to have children#presumably satisfied with one another rather than feeling obligated to make themselves “useful”#I feel it really highlights exactly the sort of differences that came of lilith choosing lucifer over adam#like no wonder amirite.#freedom for lilith was as small and inherent a thing as bodily autonomy (👀); as getting to have a relationship where she can be loved for#who she is instead of what services she can provide#the show obviously mentions this a lot in other ways but to me a main example of this is the childlessness in their marriage#again idk if it means much but i haven't seen this talked about much i know this specifically is not talked about in the show either#but it's a pretty obvious deviation from what christianity teaches women and what lilith would have especially known to be her role at the#beginning of humanity where they needed to do a lot of ~populating~#even nowadays the expectation for women to become wifes and be subservient to their husbands & the role of sex being purely reproductive#all that time but only 1 kid & so late too just goes to show how absent those roles + rules + expectations were once lilith rejected adam#(and therefore heaven)#which. the detail itself can be interpreted in different ways as can the reaction to this particular interpretation. but personally i'm just#happy for her that she (perhaps/presumably/temporarily) got to experience a loving relationship based on mutual respect and equality etc.#so like good for her#this doesnt really have a point i just thought it was a cool detail#rant post#shitpost#kind of#hazbin hotel#lucilith#i am not trying to generalize christianity itself here btw#and when i say extreme cases i do mean *extreme* as i know it's not reflective of the religion as a whole or it's principles#but in the hellaverse specifically it does seem like those teachings and mentalities and heavily unequal gender roles *were* meant to exist#so the specific lack of their fulfillment with lucilith seems important
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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Very back and forth on if it’s even worth making a post about lol. But basically long story short, I’m unsure when I’ll next post a fic. I’ve started one and I’m a good bit into it, just very uncertain as to when I’ll have it finished at the moment
#without getting too personal on main#basically a few weeks ago someone who I was very close with in my childhood died suddenly#and his funeral was a few days ago#and idk rn im not doing so good#so not feeling very creative™️ at the moment#but who knows maybe I’ll be back on my bullshit and post a fic in a few weeks#or it might be longer than that idk#can’t really put a time scale on these things I guess#but I tried writing yesterday and it was like pulling teeth rip#anyway not that I feel like I owe anyone an explanation but if I don’t post any fics for a while that’s why#grief speedrun strategies Google search#personal
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WHSTATSTS @pieflavouredartz )SOMR OF MY GOATS) REBL9GRD TWO OF MY POSTS OMGG HIII I WAS SO SHY TO RESPOND ABOUT IT LAST DAYS LOL
#yes i likr kiraboss too but i dont draw them so often as toruboss! and i didntpost them before bc idk i was also shy#i feel kiraboss community so big for me and#i want mainly to apport to my main otp (that is toruboss) and at first i was kind of ashamed at how my kiraboss post got support#and i considered to delete it LOL but now that you liked it im NOT going to do it <3 IM SO HAPPY#i like to talk ab kiraboss n toruboss with my friend and we personally have a mega lore and inside jokes for it#so i made kirabossweek and quietly shared it only to her so... i was also so impressed w your kirabossweek art too#i was like damn how do they do that thats amazing !! HEHE#I MEAN.. IS A BIT EMBARASSING HAVING TWO OTPS WHO HAVE THE SAME CHARACTER (THAT IS NOT YOUR MAIN FAV CHARACTER)#like wdym diavolo is in a relationship with two morioh guys#Anyway O H I FORGOT THSNK FOR MAKE ME KNOW YOU LIKE THESE DETAILS ABOUT MY ART !#i like drawing noses a lot#AHHALSO#toruvolo was a consideration i had when i was choosing the name for this ship#but i didnt really liked it (i mean idc how it is called but i wanted to choose something i liked more)#at fisrt i didnt wsnted to use toruboss bc i felt like i was copying kiraboss lmao (and i kinda did) sorry but anyway#im very hsppy#cosmigonónn#to make sure to save this#💜#WHY I WROTE A LOT
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Question for the crowd: When you BOOp someone from your side blog does the receiver of the BOOp see the name of your side blog or do they see the name of your main blog?
I get lots of BOOps on this blog and I BOOp back and i just want to know if it looks like headcanonthings BOOped you back!? if not I swear i'm not ignoring you, i am BOOping you back!
Edit: experiment has been run (thank you @billgenbrough) turns out it does not show headcanonthings. if you'd like to know the name of my main blog feel free to check out the notes
#personal#idk why i'm treating my main blog like its a secret#i was too shy to connect them originally so now I guess it feels weird
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that scene with cyn/the solver and uzi at the very end where the solver/cyn is still a part of uzi.... so OSSDID/System coded fr fr.... im going insane abt it. im so autistical abt this
please please PLEASE send me asks abt this i am so eager to talk to ppl abt it
(rambles in tags)
#murder drones#murder drones ep 8#murder drones spoilers#md ep 8 spoilers#have i literally ever posted abt md on here i fucking LOVE md. me specifically as an alter especially it is my fave show <3#i want to BE cyn fr fr. shes soooo gender envy#0ph3li4.txt#i would word my thoughts more but even tho im a system myself im SOOOO fucking scared other systems will say 'wtf are u on abt'#but like#i dont think uzi's experience is a 1.1 paralell with being a system obv but i think functionally itd be v similar (to my experiences)#the previous hosts of the solver. cyn included. are not alters per se. i dont think uzi would use that term for them anywayz. but they are-#part of uzi and her 'brain' and whatnot. yk?#kind of like a new host taking over#so like#cyn /solver might be the main one uzi has to deal with#but i feel like theres potential that she could deal with the other hosts too.#do you think original cyn is in there at all?#ugh im gonna get so much flack for using the wrong term so lemme just start I KNOW INTEGRATION AND FUSION OR WHATEVER ARE DIFFERENT!!#that being said#i prefer the term integration to fusion. so.#in this scenario / au whatever i like to imagine original cyn is integrated with another part. most likely solver itself.#and in our experience with alters integating (not universal!!). some of their traits/mannerisms wear off on that part! so solver probably-#gained some of original cyn's personality traits / mannerims. but is still its own person.#tessa could also be part of the 'system' even tho she wasnt a host per se#idk#im yappin#please send asks abt this i will ramble forever and ever
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i haven't even seen the episode yet, but learning about the fact that they didn't include such an essential aspect of the story is making me feel so irrationally sad
#letters from stephanie*#idk maybe it isn't essential maybe it's just too important to me... but without it you take away so much from lila...#she's not a crazy person that is too enigmatic for the audience to understand... lila is the character you feel in your soul#not explain in a few sentences. there is no Grand Secret of Lila to be revealed. you feel her or you don't and that's it.#yeah this is my hot take on lila. if the main takeaway is that she's a mysterious madwoman you're treating her the same#way all those men did. why can't we just feel things why does it have to be written in big shining letters#to be considered real and human. idk idk idk#she is surrealism the spirit of surrealism packed in a person and i think that is the truth of life. to misunderstand this is to completely#miss the point of lila as a character#which is that we as humans invent shapes to store the incomprehensible in and in that we take away from the reality of life#the raw beating heart of life. lila cerullo who has spent her life in one place who didn't get to go to school#understood and saw this beating heart of the universe and while studying history of her city she gets to...#extend the logic of it to the whole universe. she recognises these historical facts within her own being#she finds her daughter in these stories and she runs to her. i am so upset about this#i have to watch the episode though i can't betray my fundamental belief that you have to face life no matter what#ferranteposting#l'amica geniale#s4 spoilers#my brilliant friend spoilers#lila cerullo 🫀
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