#thinking of my friends from year 5
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Really awful that this even needs to be a thought in my head at all but I’m dreading that if Liam Payne’s death is indeed a suicide, people will make it about ‘cancel culture’ and ‘mob mentality’ and whatever the fuck and dismiss and harass his ex and the women who’ve spoken out about his behaviour recently. Make no mistake regardless this death is shocking and tragic, but the internet is allergic to nuance, feel like its gonna get pissed away, all the allegations made ‘nought’ or excessive or all equates to harassment and bullying. It’s gonna become a talking point about fucking ‘wokeness’. Any victims who’ve stepped forward, they’re gonna hear ‘Didn’t you get your wish? You killed a man’. Jesus Christ.
#dreading it dreading it dreading it#liam payne#// death mention#// death#// suicide mention#// suicide#// victim blaming#catastrophising#I do worry this sounds unsympathetic#and having this be the main thing that comes to mind to me feels pretty wretched#but man it’s like Alec Holowka all over again I do not trust what the internet landscape is gonna be in the coming days#on a personal note#thinking of my friends from year 5#my whole class went to a music studio for a friends 9th or 10th birthday party and she was a directioner so we took it in turns in groups#singing what makes you beautiful into the mic of a recording booth#and a few weeks later I had a science homework about what the airs made out of and did an extension#where I wrote a parody song ‘you don’t know what you’re breathing’ and it was peak and I still remember some of the lyrics#I think a good couple of the girls liked liam the most iirc#idk if this bothers them much since this was a younger group of fans so different experience#but I hope they’re not too shaken#fuck.#anecdote#ty if you read these tags#vent post#// real person death
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so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.
#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fig faeth#ruben hopclap#lucy frostblade#the rat grinders#adaine abernant#kipperlilly copperkettle#watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!!#this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk#like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was#what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god#my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season#the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands#also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally-#changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk#but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up#they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here#there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows#the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!!#anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance
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Good morning 🙏🏼
I want to thank everyone their support with reblogging my stuff over the years and reblogging some of the context of the situation.
Tumblr and Instagram is filled with the most supportive people I’ve ever had the chance of meeting. The last time something like this happened, I didn’t have much support, not even from people I thought were close to me. It took me a year or two to be okay with being perceived again in fandoms. So I’m very grateful for everything.
I just wanted to post that I appreciate all of the asks and I’ve been reading all of them. I actually get anxious I’m spamming everyone too much so I probably won’t reply to everything. Please don’t feel pressured to support me financially, there’s is a free option on patreon to follow. I’ll post future project plans and occasional updates because I still love comics and I still love DC/Marvel. I do enjoy having people following along for my art/reading journey so I would always be okay with people just following for free. My brain is telling me this post is too long now so I will go 🙏🏼😭
#my brain to me: what in the retired YouTuber ass type post.. (screams) ok#I just received a lot of anons about the situation and I wanted to clarify it’s okay!!#I know the usd conversion rate is crazy… so I’ll try to wrangle my head to post some stuff publicly. I had a friend who supported me from#brazil.. I was like what! ily but if it’s breaking bank please don’t do it!!!#I also didn’t want people sending me asks thinking I didn’t read it.. listen I’ve been a fandom lurker for a while. yes I do get sad when#people don’t reply to my asks… because I’m like I want to know your answer so bad#sorry I’m not doing a very good job replying 😔 I’ve actually never had a fandom blog of this level#I’ve never gotten more than 5 asks over the 3+ years of tumblr usage..#I’m also an ultra perfectionist where I’ll reread what I wrote 2–5 times before posting. yeah it’s a bit crazy! if you send me a list of#recommended comics before I will probably read every single one and then reply 7+ months later…#😭😭😭#let me not ramble more 👍🏼#going to go get breakfast
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Mha sketch dump!
feat. LoV sleeping and other things
So there's that World Hero vote going now, BUT there's also basically a personal Top 5 thing too
I thought about my top 5 for a bit and ended up with this
But as it was I didn't like that we don't exactly have a way to make multiple characters have same place like that character sorter. But my top 3 would've shared 1st place
And also it gave me some inspiration so I sketched Izuku and later Tomura. And here started the sketch wave, bc choosing AFOmura for the Tomura pic is... A choice and so there are two Tomura's on the sketch, with AFOmura getting the 2nd amd Tomura 1st
I got a bit frustrated with how I drew them so I decided to try to redraw some stuff while keeping with mha style as close as I could
I was a bit... Surprised? To see my own progress as the last time I did a thing like this it wasn't that good
Trying to simplify the style instead bc I was getting sleepy didn't help
#fanart#sketch#my art#bnha#league of villains#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#midoriya izuku#toga himiko#dabi#toya todoroki#spinner#shuichi iguchi#mr compress#jin bubaigawara#Had isat ost on a loop for the LoV sketch#It was my last one and I like it the most#I wanted to sketch something like that for a long time even more so after... Final arc#Was thinking about stuff while drawing#Like how Izuku tried to save Tomura and yet the moment he (Tenko) was free from all those feelings#He just thought of his friends and later LoV and refused to give up on that#And it wasn't even a choice that could've changed anything with how he was slowly dying after that blow and AFO's involvement#Isat is so easy to crossover with mha actually just take Izuku's arc and boom#I thought about LoV tho#One would ask when don't I do that#Hyperfixation is slowly becoming durable so I'm mostly trying stuff out and mixing now#This sketch dump was a spontaneous thing just because I saw that one top 5 thing#Because drawing mha stuff is pretty painful! That's why I drew LoV sleeping#I was literally thinking of dropping the sketches halfway with most of them#But in any case LoV always has a special place in my heart it's been 5 years after all
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This half-foot. Dandan.
Looks preety similar to this lady here (I'll put them together so you see):
Half-lidded eyes, black hair&eyes, small eyebrows, curly hair... Dandan's skin is lighter probably because of low sun exposure (dungeon), and he has tons of freckles because he preety.
This two are clearly relatives if not siblings.
Flertom is a mirror image of the lady up there. She got Chil's eyes. She even has almost the same haircut (a bit longer). She's clearly the mother. We've solved Chilchuck's wife mystery.
But this wasn't what I was going to say.
This implies that Wife and Dandan both knew Chilchuck since their childhood. Because there's no way that Chil was just friend of the sister. They're both close to the same age, and I'll say Dandan is a Younger sibiling (she gives big sis vibes, and he gives young bro vibes). So either she introduced him to her brother or he introduced him to his sister and they became best friends as kids.
Could you imagine how their relationship was after Chil's Wife left him?
He knows he has to say something, but he doesn't want to end his relationships. At the end he takes his sister's side. He distances a bit from Chilchuck, calling him an "aquitance" rather than a friend. It isn't that he hates him, is just that it's complicated. And they both know it. They're in good terms tho, they just aren't best friends anymore and they don't talk about it. Their worry is the guild, not their personal stuff.
That's why Dandan introduces Chilchuck to Laios. If they were in bad terms, he would've suggested any other half-foot. They both priorize the guild and general safety of their own race. That's why Dandan suggests Chil instead of a less experienced hafling. He cares about the union and respects Chil's time and experience in dungeons. They're on good terms, at least good enough. Summing up, I get the feeling Dandan doesn't particularly likes Chil after what happened with his sister, but he respects him at least.
#hi fandom its me again overanalyzing side characters from 5 panels alone and some background context! <3#i will do this again.. eventually... not on dandan. this is all i could see in him ;(#also i think their relationship gets better as time passes#it's been 4 years since wife left him#and 5 years since half-foot union was formed#i'm a wife×chilchuck lover. i'll believe they talked about it and eventually (give them a year) got back together#and Dandan allows himself to be friends with Chil again so he doesnt feel he's bettaying his sis by doing so or sth.#human interactions are so complicated.. i love them.. fascinating... eeling like Kabru. ill put them in a jar and study them like bugs.#Dandan#Dandan dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon#i need an oficial name for Wife. i need.#i have the feeling Wife's older because they got married quite young. and Dandan seems the same age as Chil.#if anything hes younger. idk. tgeres no way shes marrying at 12 (chil married at 13 and dandan is same age)#this is my theory#idk how they are i insist. im working with crumbs here.#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#chilchuck dungeon meshi#i need to get some sleep lol#my shit#dungeon meshi spoilers
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I'm only halfway through fangs of fortune and i am an emotional wreck, this show is messing with my emotions in all possible ways, from heart-wrenching PAIN to immeasurable LOVE, i am a MESS, what is happening 😭
#i barely ever cry irl and for media as well i think the last time i cried was 2 years ago when my dog passed away#and now this show made my eyes all wet like 4 or 5 times already#and it's just been 17 eps THERE ARE 17 MORE TO GO#i dont know if i can handle it what is happening#maybe im unstable emotionally from all the irl stress idk or maybe this show is just touching some unknown strings in me#anyway it's so good plz watch it if ur into dramas#fangs of fortune#danshushmei#i love all the characters so much omg i cant contain it#they make me think of rpg sessions with my friends like look at this colorful group brought together thru various circumstances#so different and yet growing such strong bonds and striving together thru whatever the world throws at them#i have so much love and hurt in me right now#all in a good way
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There's only one person I truly hate with all my being
#and its some random bitch from the internet#fuck you jackal#talking about how I started hating him would require TRIGGER WARNINGS.#he almost made me fail my freshman ELA class because I had to spend all hour comforting my friends who he hurt#then all was forgiven because “he's a kid! he can change!” i never forgave him and he never truly changed#he tried to tell lies about me to my friends#and. for context. this was on discord#it was a community where I was one of the 3 pillars of it. and I'm close with the other 2.#me C and H were the people people wanted to be friends with. or wanted to *be*. we were the top 3 of everyone! and im not being conceded.#twas a small community#I was known for being skilled! but also. people thought I was kind. (some people thought I was bossy because I was kinda strict)#< (strict being I don't tolerate bullying or slurs at any capacity.#but so. when Jackal lied to H. H knew it was bullshit.#anyways Jackal stuck around somehow even tho everyone KNEW. The Jackal Situation was an ARC in that server.#anyways C made Jackal a mod over a year later bc la-de-da-de-da people can change~ and he wasn't a dick. for about 5 minutes.#he got fired today and i was fucking ECSTATIC#I hate him#he thinks hes hot shit. he's hot garbage is what he is#he's so tone deaf and abused power constantly#i never stepped in because I have such a strong hatred that i can never be fair to him again#im permanently against him. he'll never ever gain any respect from me.#he lied. he baited us. he made my friends spend so many sleepless nights crying. he tried to make them die by saying theyd go together.#i saw through it.#anyways I like to believe I have a good judge of character bc he always made me uneasy#he gifted me nitro and was polite before baiting us. but i was like. ehhhh. what's wrong w him?#anyways he's a pissed off bastard now#anyways heres some previous life drama hooray
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30-something year old Sasuke and Naruto redesigns from the beautiful post-699 world that exists in my mind.
Here's a some layer variations because I went a little crazy
#naruto#sasuke uchiha#naruto uzumaki#sns#my art#rewatched naruto after 5 years and. yeah it got me again#btw in the world in my mind naruto retires from being hokage sometime in his 30s#and then he and sasuke become wandering nin who travel around doing good in the world#also even if i dont like the system i dont think naruto is smart enough (affectionate) to think up a viable alternative to the hokage syste#so i think the next hokage would be sakura#statepilled enough to take on the mantle competent enough to hold her own academic enough to do paperwork#and most importantly#actually friends w naruto and sasuke so would probably be willing (and smart enough) to work on implementing change#im being hopeful of course but im also assuming she wouldve grown in that regard by the time shes in her 30s lollll#<- guy who thinks a totally normal amount about. naruto 😁👍#also naruto and sasuke are gay married by this point. obviously#final message:#happy sasuke saturday
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day 4: old cocole art dump because its about time i posted these 💀
essay in the tags youve been warned lmao
#rhythm doctor#chiimo art shenanigans#cocole#5 different brush styles in one post crying rn#wbhw huwh uh w wuhbeuhw (<- me manifesting the braincells to explain the drawings while fighting the sleepiness)#the first one was back in may??? if i had a nickel for every old nicole drawing that looks good to feel recent id have two nickels which i#next drawings were me testing out palettes from color me curious on tumblr#i showed them to my rd friend and i think they were called cocolors? it was supposed to be some kind of series thing#mostly did it for fun tho so i didnt force myself to keep it up lol#the silly kiss doodles are based on a oneshot from writer's block: confronted on ao3 (pls consider giving it a read its so cute 🥹)#next one is just some practice doodles#i was still getting used to nicoles hair i swear it went through 5 design changes in one year#last one is just the dinguses <3 (i found that tumblr post on pinterest so if anyone has the original post id appreciate that 😭)
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icl i would be at least a little happy with almost any ending for stranger things but one thing that would ruin all of it would be an epilogue (of a decade or more later)
#it would just kinda ruin the fun of imagining them doing whatever tf i want them to these days yk#like even if everyone got together the way i wanted them and got the jobs i think fit etc it would still just kill the creativity#+ even the small things would annoy me like what if i just don’t like what one of them named their kids. or dresses like in 20 years#maybe i wanted them divorced by then but that would’ve angered the fans#maybe i wanted to imagine that single person’s future spouse myself (or keep them single in my head)#what if i want them to recover from this or that or still be working on it. what if i the adult/older actors look shit#anyways point is do not do an epilogue timeskip of more than 5/6years PLEASE i am begging u duffer brothers#stranger things#byler#<- u guys get me on this yk#even if byler isn’t canon at the end i can still at least imagine they do in uni or in their 30s or whenever#as long as there isn’t some fucking scene where mike and el r old and married in 2023 or something#would just kinda ruin all of it; making us see them as old ass adults with their entire lives set it stone yk#manifesting a few month/year timeskip where everyone gets a happy ending isn’t all “and then they lived a nice life in this specific way”#and especially manifesting that we don’t get an#“i haven’t seen you guys in decades how’ve you been? sucks that erica died in a car crash last year. she was almost 40”#type epilogue (if we must have one)#like no hate to amphibia and that one 80s movie but it just kinda makes what happened before a bit pointless if it focused on their#relationships at all#like cool we spent years watching these friendships grow and adapt only for u to go “yeah and we’re strangers now soz :)” like ok so none o#that lasted#idgaf if it’s “realistic” if i wanted realistic representation of childhood friends into adulthood id think about real life and shit#idk random rant if they do any of this shit i WILL kill all of them and then myself#ryan shut the fuck up
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they came :3
#outer wilds#riebeck#riebeck plushie#AAAA#they're so huggable...sitting hugging them while im writing this#money well spent i think im always insane about this game#i love outer wilds so much you don't even know (my irl friends are tired of me talking about it atp)#so round and soft....#gabbro and feldspar may be my fav travelers but riebeck holds a special place in my heart because they're from brittle hollow and that's#a very nostalgic planet for me because that's the one i was obsessed with when i first played!! 2019 was 5 years ago oh my god#my fav planet rn? ermmm used to be giants deep but honestly ember twin. ash twin makes me want to cry though#outer wilds spoilers#potentially?#oh well#midstuff
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Romance is so fun. Love writing romance. But Christ alive, the universe that some love stories take place in sound like a hell dimension to me. A universe where all characters are defined by their romantic endeavours and nothing else. All your closest friends are like unblinking dolls who are unreasonably obsessed with who you're kissing and don't want to talk to you about anything else. Allonormativity suffocation chamber.
#ive never liked it when characters would hardcore ship their friends and make being a matchmaker like a huge chunk of their personality#its always just felt so unpleasant and uncomfortable to me. blegh#an example i can think of off the top of my head is Alya from ladybug#she was such a girlboss and for WHAT. so much of her screentime dedicated to pushing her ship together#that might have changed idk. i havent watched ladybug in like 5 years#anyway i much prefer it when characters are like ''i support you. hope that goes well for you. i dont gaf tho''
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be real honest. which member of your favorite group whose personality is actually similar to you? are they your bias or not?
#ann.txt#ive been curious about this#esp to atinys but i think people from other fandoms might see and want to share too#in my case my personality is the closest to mingi hongjoong and scoups (with less $$$)#mingi mainly cus of his thinking framework and bluntness constantly talking abt world economy whatsoever 😂#his “cost-benefit” mindset is strong and its shown? but it doesnt make him cold or careless abt his friends#and you know what else is strong in him? his simpness for yunho. boi doesnt have anything bad abt him he has his name in his head 25/8#i think if i have my own “yunho” person i'll have nothing in my head but them too#i think if hes just a clerical worker or avg uni student hed do a good job in business or any job/study thats data driven?#hongjoong and coups. assertive yet open to feedbacks. they treat it as opportunity to improve and reach out wider audiences#while attentive to their members their works the top priority. if they can work then why sleep#be the $$$ daddies 🤑#just in real life yet tricky in games 🤪 but sometimes im also a fool like mingi 🤪🤪🤪#and nope theyre not my bias but its amazing to know you gentlemen 🤝#PLUS THEYRE ALL BIG BABIES MAXIMUM OF 5 YEARS OLD#I AM 5
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tss darksides is something that can be so personal,
#my post#CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME#i am about to break and rewatch the series for crumbs#shaking. shaking.#thinks about that one bit from the 5 year video where janus n remus play ddr in pattons room#thinks about 'i spend. a Lot of time with him.'#theyre so best friends i need them to interact in an actual episode please just once just ONCE#and VIRGIL!#VIRGIL 'because i was one of them' SANDERS#'dont.' 'whaaat i just meant your ~name~' 'DONT!'#any time they reference back when virgil was a darkside means so much to meeeee#i used to have a hc that the reason virgil thinks its normal to hiss at people is bcus he exclusively used to hang out with janus (snake)#and remus (freak)#o(-( save me sanders sides s2 finale.
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i decided to redraw ghost cole for like. the millionth time! i cant get enough of this guy
get him out of there !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#naninart#lego ninjago#cole ninjago#ghost cole#i think i have been fixated on ghost cole for many many years now and its a problem.#its been a while since ive drawn ninjago stuff so it might take me a sec to get back into it and remember my style lolll#also i tried to draw the background but it wasnt working with me and i was too tired to fix it so. here we are#i think im going to start a new art series to keep up with art in general#drawing ninjago characters as quotes from my friends and i's quotebook#i already have a few done but i want to get at least 5 before posting#no promises TBH but i am trying ok#love yall
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the scully of fight the future who doesn’t want a career in the bureau at all if she can’t do it with him. who debated even telling him that she’s quitting in person, and feels like her loss won’t even make a difference: he doesn’t need her, she only holds him back. the scully who doesn’t even make it to the elevator. the way that as soon as he starts speaking, she goes silent. she can’t even respond. this is not a debate. tears just pour down her face, as he tells her that she owes nothing. that she has made her favorite person, a “whole” person. that she has saved him “a thousand times over.” and she stays completely silent. all she can do is cry, and hold him, and kiss his forehead. how small she must feel sometimes…being dragged from one spot to the next, following along. the way her face just collapses as she moves from holding onto his shoulder to pull him down to her. he breaks her open sometimes.
#she believes in him so much and she thinks he can save the world even if she moves on. and he’s so frustrated he’s almost angry#as he just spits out at her that she’s the entire reason he’s here.#‘i owe you EVERYTHING. scully…and you owe me nothing.’#from the person she believed in so much she nearly lost her life to follow him!! whom she looked up to from her deathbed#and said take EVERYTHING i have left!!! my dignity my reputation my dying breaths take it ALL!!!#her ahab!!#and she owes nothing. she is everything. she matters.#and she’s been going back/forth with him every day for 5 years but she is rendered with nothing to say.#nothing to do but cry and hold him and hold him and hold him#make him bow his head to her so she can kiss it and try to absolve him. like he did her in that hospital hallway.#so much grief in being needed#it just says so much that the only time she ever considers leaving him is because she thinks SHE is bad for HIM.#and he tells her……i cannot do it without you. but i expect nothing from you anyway.#and being told she’s needed by her best friend reduces her to tears. no wonder.#txf.txt#ftf
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