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madara-fate · 4 years ago

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I also wasn't insinuating that MinaKushi or DanTsu are the only good examples of good romantic relationships (I don't even care about these pairing for the record, or any other pairing in Naruto). I'm just pointing out that people do not doubt that Minato loves Kushina or that Dan loves Tsunade. If Sasuke genuinely loved Sakura and Kishimoto did a good job at showing it, then there would not be a huge debate on whether he does love her or not, because it would be obvious to pretty much everyone that he does, whether they like the ship or not. The fact that it's not and that so many people still debate on this to this day either shows that Kishimoto did a poor job at showing Sasuke as a loving husband either that Sasuke does not love her, despite that "love is the real deal" line or his reply to Sarada's question. It's show vs tell if you know what I mean. On one hand he tells us that "love is the real deal" but on the other hand he does not really show it all too well, which makes many people think whether he truly meant those words or he was being sarcastic and simply mocked the fans. It's either a case of bad writing either Sasuke simply does not love Sakura. I personally don't know what to think. I tend to lean towards the first option, it may just be bad writing after all. He admitted he's not great at writing romance and to be honest? It shows. It is even implied they haven't kissed in Gaiden by Sakura looking sad when Sarada asked her if they ever kissed. And I know you like to refute that by saying that it's preposterous to think they haven't kissed when they obviously had sex in order to concieve Sarada, but the thing is, it is entirely possible to have sex with someone but not kiss. It really is. When you're having sex but you're not really enjoying it or when you have simply been pressured and pestered into having sex with a person. Sakura Hiden confirmed the fact that Sakura was determined to confess her feelings to Sasuke over and over again until he would've eventually reciprocated. She compared that with punching a villain over and over until they're defeated. Now please tell me, would it be so far fetched to consider that harassment? If someone tells you no once, you have to respect their rejection and stop pursuing them, not take it as a challenge to persist in reaffirming your feelings over and over again until they eventually get tired or take pity in you and accept to give you a chance. And even in Gaiden it was confirmed that Sakura had to chase after Sasuke. It's really easy to see this ship as... problematic, to say the least. I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt tho and blame it on bad writing rather than on Kishimoto simply implying SS is not really a loving relationship, but if other people are not convinced or deny that Sasuke loves Sakura, you have to let your bias aside and admit that they have reasons to believe that. The writing makes it really easy to interpret it either way, depending on your preferences.

I already answered a lot of the points you made here in my response to your previous ask, but it's important for people to remember the type of person Sasuke is, and understand that the manner in which he shows affection isn't the same as Dan or Minato. It's a lot more subtle. Are people doubting that Vegeta loves Bulma and Trunks? No, so then people need to ask themselves - in which ways has Vegeta demonstrated that he loves his family in ways that Sasuke hasn't? Both of them aren't outwardly affectionate, both of them aren't romantic, but both of them have undoubtedly demonstrated that they love their family. Yet, only one of them is questioned. It really is just a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situation. If Sasuke acts all affectionate like Dan and Minato, people will claim that he's OOC (like they did for Sasuke Retsuden), but if he stays reserved and demonstrates affection in his own way, people will just turn a blind eye and say he doesn't care. It really just shows how little they actually know Sasuke's character. To think that Sasuke, who hails from the clan which values love above all else, would marry and start a family with someone he doesn't love.

On one hand he tells us that "love is the real deal" but on the other hand he does not really show it all too well, which makes many people think whether he truly meant those words or he was being sarcastic and simply mocked the fans.

People actually think that Kishi may have been "sarcastic" when he described their love as the real deal. Oh my goodness. Why would Kishi purposely give wrong information to the readers (and never reveal what's actually going on)? Why would he intentionally want the readers to misunderstand his story and characters? Why would he want to portray his 2nd biggest character as someone who would enter a loveless marriage when that literally goes against the ways of his clan and his entire character? Do people not listen to themselves?

It's like how so many people claim that Sasuke saying "because you exist" means that the only reason he and Sakura are still together is because of Sarada, and people really don't realise how stupid that sounds. They don't stop and ask themselves why Sarada would be brought to happy tears, why Chouchou would describe her as lucky, and why Naruto would give her a knowing smile, if Sasuke had really just insinuated that she was the only thing that was keeping her parents together:

They just don't think. They apparently believe that Chouchou was happily thinking to herself "aww, lucky Sarada, you're the only thing keeping your parents together!", and that makes sense to them apparently, Chouchou being so happy for Sarada after hearing such awful news. It's unbelievable.

And I know you like to refute that by saying that it's preposterous to think they haven't kissed when they obviously had sex in order to conceive Sarada, but the thing is, it is entirely possible to have sex with someone but not kiss. It really is. When you're having sex but you're not really enjoying it or when you have simply been pressured and pestered into having sex with a person.

This is just like the people who believe that Sasuke is gay, justifying their ridiculous claims by pointing out how "you can be gay and still marry a woman", and to that I always say - Why would Sasuke do that? Just like to you I'll say - Why would Sasuke do that? To have sex and not kiss? Why would Sasuke of all people be "pressured and pestered" into entering a relationship with someone? He obviously has no problem whatsoever with bluntly turning people down. If he doesn't want to do something, he's not gonna do it. Heck, if you're using Sakura Hiden to try and prove your points then I'll also use a novel to prove this one - The lipstick stain scene during Sasuke Shinden: The Teacher's Star Pupil, explicitly indicates that Sakura and Sasuke had kissed earlier that day. The motorbike scene during Naruto Retsuden has Sakura kiss Sasuke. Sasuke and Sakura having kissed, is not (and has never been) a topic that's open to discussion.

Sakura Hiden confirmed the fact that Sakura was determined to confess her feelings to Sasuke over and over again until he would've eventually reciprocated. She compared that with punching a villain over and over until they're defeated. Now please tell me, would it be so far fetched to consider that harassment? If someone tells you no once, you have to respect their rejection and stop pursuing them, not take it as a challenge to persist in reaffirming your feelings over and over again until they eventually get tired or take pity in you and accept to give you a chance. And even in Gaiden it was confirmed that Sakura had to chase after Sasuke.

I've already talked at length about that scene from Sakura Hiden so I won't do so again here, but I'll link the relevant post where I explained how that scene obviously was not meant to be taken as a negative comment, but people will of course just twist things in order to suit their own anti Sakura/SS agenda.

But if other people are not convinced or deny that Sasuke loves Sakura, you have to let your bias aside and admit that they have reasons to believe that. The writing makes it really easy to interpret it either way, depending on your preferences.

No, here's what people need to understand. If people think that Sasuke's love towards Sakura was not adequately shown, then that's a reason to criticise the writing. It is not however, a reason to deny what is canon. They are stating that Sasuke does not love Sakura, despite the fact that this has explicitly been stated. Sasuke loving Sakura is a canon fact, whether they like it or not. Criticise the execution all you want, I know I have plenty of times, but don't deny the truth. Hell, since you wanted to use the novels...

During Sakura Hiden, Sasuke rushed back for Sakura's sake, despite having ignored the village's prior pleas for help. What does that say about his feelings for her?

During Akatsuki Hiden, Sasuke described Sakura as "The Spring Sunshine" which illuminated his dark life. What does that say about his feelings for her?

What does basically the entirety of Sasuke Retsuden say about his feelings for her?

Many anti SS fans are always so quick to use the novels when it suits them. And then when a novel like Sasuke Retsuden comes along and completely shits over all their theories, they're just as quick to dismiss the novel as an OOC fan fic by a sub par author, figures. As far as I'm concerned, the manga is more than enough to show that Sasuke loves his family (seriously this really isn't up for debate), but I'll also definitely say that anyone who criticises SS and uses the novels as a point of reference, is in way over their heads.

#Sasuke Uchiha #Sakura Haruno #sasusaku

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seriousmilkcarton · 4 years ago

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A Small Essay on Why I Ship Naruto & Gaara

As requested by @marcceh, and to prove my point that I really do make up essays in my head defending the ships I feel strongly about, here is an essay about why I ship Naruto and Gaara.

I do not want to demean any other ships, I truly believe that shipping wars are basically nonsense because we are all part of the same fan community and everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be accepted for it (unless you’re racist, homophobic, transphobic or any other kind of intolerant, then your opinion doesn’t mean shit to me). So these are just my opinions, my experience of watching Naruto and the reasons I ship them and not anyone else (as much).

1. Gaara is my baby and I want good things for him.

I knew Gaara was going to be my baby the moment he first appeared in the chunin exam arc. I was actually so thrilled and felt so badass because my babies usually aren’t the “bad boys/villains” so having a psychotic killer as my baby, I felt like I just stole from the local convenience store and got a lip piercing. It was very much a “there my baby goes, killing people again (hearteyes)”-situation. So what happened. My only villainesque baby (ever?) became a soft boi. And why? Because Naruto showed him the light. I mean, Naruto was such a fucking inspiration, Gaara went through a 180 degree change from a punk who doesn’t give a fuck about others and kills people for fun to the most innocent and awkward soft boi who just wants to protecc. Naruto being good influence is an understatement.

2. Gaara loves Naruto more than sand (and really doesn’t make a secret of it).

You know how every time Gaara is on screen, he just babbles on about how Naruto changed him and how he wants to be like him and how he is so happy to be his friend? (basically how much he loves him?) He is so blunt about it, I love it so much. Like – “I think they changed the recipe of the frappé. It tastes different somehow” – “You know what also changed? My view on life. Naruto taught me the meaning of love and friendship. It was when fighting him, I learned the importance of bonds with people. He gave me hope for what lies ahead. I wish to be such a beacon of hope at a point in the future, too. “

3. I am just a sucker for healthy relationships.

They believe in each other, they support each other, they are good influences on each other, they have the greatest respect for each other but do not shy away when they aren’t in unison about something (i.e. Sasuke). In summary, they stand up for each other and they stand up for themselves. The importance of that in a healthy relationship I cannot stress enough. Also, they are happy when around each other and bring out the best in the other. I cannot find a single toxic trait in their relationship and that just makes me happy.

4. This show is just too gay (for me to ship straight ships).

Generally, it’s not like I am only into slash ships. I think I am actually quite balanced there. My OTPs in various animes like Fairy Tail and Fullmetal Alchemist are straight. Why? Because there are some nice heterosexual relationships that are worthy of my hype. In Naruto? Not so much (in my opinion [except Shikamaru X Temari]). I mean, yes, of course in the end boy ends up with girl, because that’s the show it is. But the story and the emotion revolve about 98 % around males. Because 1) it’s a shounen and 2) the author was not good in showcasing female talent (Don’t get me wrong, there are female characters with… potential. The show just seldom displays it, unfortunately). So in conclusion, I don’t really have straight ships in Naruto (except Shikamaru X Temari).

5. It actually changed my mind.

Obviously, as it was not apparent from the start, I didn’t ship NaruGaa from the beginning. In Part 1 I actually shipped Naruto and Sasuke. And usually, once I start shipping something, I never let go of it, for better or for worse (many times worse). My kinda ship is often is the sort of “I would never admit my affection for you, but I actually deeply care for you and would definitely take a bullet”. And I felt a lot of that in Part 1 in SNS (up to the point where Sasuke left the village). I held on to that ship for longer than it did me good, but when Sasuke tried to actually kill Naruto (don’t remember if it was 1st or 2nd or 3rd time), I gave up on it, too. Partly because I saw there was another option, including my baby, including a both-sided love and care. Because like I said, I’m just a sucker for healthy relationships.

6. They are SO SOFT with each other!

Gaara and Naruto’s interactions are of 3 sorts: “protective husband”, “proud husband” and “soft husband”. Obviously, I love all 3 of them, but let’s talk about the third, because that just makes my heart melt every time. Naruto and Gaara are both very strong and could each bring down armies, respectively, but with each other they are just so SOFT. Alone them saying each others’ names. Best example; when Gaara comes back to life and the first thing he sees is Naruto. Prime example of soft name calling AND super soft look, especially on Naruto’s side. Best example of soft interaction; in the end of that same arc, when they marry shake hands. This was the softest interaction I have ever seen. If I marry at some point, I would be okay with a handshake instead of a kiss, as long as it is THIS LEVEL OF HANDSHAKE.

And that, my friends, is why Naruto X Gaara is a god tier ship.

#naruto #narugaa #gaanaru #gaara #sabaku no gaara #gaara of the desert #anime #ship #otp #naruto shippuden #naruto gaara #shikatema

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snickiebear · 4 years ago

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Snickie!!! Some commentary pls from "Sakura spent her thirty-second birthday in a hospital bed because God Eater or not, if one gets stabbed in the heart with a poisonous blade, one may just die." up until “Dear kami,” Sakura whispered, eyeing the tempura in Sasuke’s other hand. “I think we broke them. Sai, my love, bring me that tempura Sasuke brought me, I’m starving.” from stars in our eyes as we dream of the heavens, pls and thank u!!!

mittens!!!!! oh yes! the Revealment Scene >;))

Sakura spent her thirty-second birthday in a hospital bed because God Eater or not, if one gets stabbed in the heart with a poisonous blade, one may just die.

(She didn’t, obviously, because she’s the Woman Who Ate God. She survived worse than a twisted sword to her heart and some really deadly poison.)

(Tsunade yelled at her for an entire hour about idiot apprentices who forget to dodge because they ate a god. Sakura thought it was hilarious.)

okay so i still find Sakura being stabbed to be literally hilarious. like this motherfucker ate a god, lost her leg, is an ANBU captain and sasori is able to get her. like LMAO cmon sakura wtf bro.

also found tsunade yelling at her to be extremely amusing because my hc is that tsunade’s love language is being mean and yelling, and i ADORE IT.

The boys walked in to Kakashi-sensei’s mask pulled down as he kissed Sakura breathless, hands in her hair.

AHAHAHA YESSS. okay so the realization i wanted for naruto and sasuke (because sai is actually aware of things) had to be right in the face. so, why not have them walk in to kakashi and sakura fucking making out??

tbh i think they thought sakura and kakashi were just really good friends and that kakashi was too lazy to keep up this game of “who is sensei’s wife?”

“Marry me.” He demanded, kissing her between the words as Sakura giggles, fingers tracing his spine.

“We’re already married,” She pointed out and Kakashi kisses her again and again and again-

kakashi and sakura’s love is consuming and ravishing, so their physical love would be too. they’re still violent things, no matter how domesticated they become, war is carved into their bones and though they are tender and loving, their kisses are demanding and possessive in a way that only they could ever understand.

plus, if you’ve read Ichor Runs Through My Veins then you also know that kakashi proposing was kind of a running joke

“So, you really aren’t gay.” Sasuke blurted because his face was red and he really did not want to watch Kakashi stick his tongue down Sakura’s throat. It was worse than walking in on Itachi trying to flirt with Iruka-sensei's picture taped to the bathroom mirror.

LMFAOOOO OKAY THIS WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. i love a good ole wrap up, so this is direct connection to the opening scenes when they think kakashi is married to gai, which is fucking funny.

also, i really do love crack ships, so iruka and itachi.. which was also inspired by Masks. I got a few comments saying they didn’t like the ship but i still find it interesting and they have so much potentiol.

I know i painted this scene is a light hearted manner (because it was supposed to be fun with underlying tensions) but iruka who is nothing but a giver, he is a caring, earnest person. he loves freely and thoroughly. and then itachi, itachi who was manipulated and he’s broken, and he’s traumatized. i just think they’re neat.

“Wait.” Naruto said, flabbergasted and flailing. “You’re married?!”

“For eleven years.” Sai added blandly, giving the two of them a blank look that screamed arrogance.

“What the fuck?” Naruto whispered, squeezing Sasuke’s hand. The Uchiha just stared and stared and stared.

“Dear kami,” Sakura whispered, eyeing the tempura in Sasuke’s other hand. “I think we broke them. Sai, my love, bring me that tempura Sasuke brought me, I’m starving.”

FAMILY!! i just love the dynamics here, and that Kakashi has his mask down and no one’s commented on it because “what the fuck sakura why’d you marry HIM?” is SO FUNNY TO ME. like the fact that the boys adore sakura (and kakashi too, but they’re shy about it) is so heartwarming to me. i love writing mama bear saku and papa wolf kaka with their little cubs.

under sakura’s hand, sai has become an even more little shit who’s a know it all. who really does, know it all. so i loveeee writing him and sakura together, because sai is sakura’s and he revels in it.

Sasuke and Naruto holding HANDS. YES. i do enjoy narusasu tbh, i think they make the most sense as of canon content (this is entirely my opinion). i try to write narusasu in most things i write because i think the contrast between them and how they mix and compliment each other. they’re very interesting.

naruto isn’t stupid, no he isn’t. but he is oblivious and naive and i love touching on that in some of my angster fics, but in this one its painted as a nicer and more light hearted thing.

lastly, sakura is always hungry and of course she isn’t going to let some good tempura go to waste because her kids are stupid lmfaoooo

i honestly could do an entire commentary on the whole series, i love it so much. thank you for the ask mittens!!!!!

#silly things from silly friends #a shared pen #thoughts behind words

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sanjiafterhours · 5 years ago

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So, when are we going to hear your thoughts about ShiIta and everything that has to do with it? I love to hear your thoughts and opinions! Thank you and have a nice day!

am here to fry y'all's brains.

why ShiIta is controversial : for the myth that tHeY aRe cOuSinS. First of all,are y'all dumb? itachi and shisui are NOT cousins,they just belong to the same clan.They are NOT like neji and hinata,Shisui's father kagami and itachi's father fugaku were NOT FUCKIN RELATED IN ANY WAY EXCEPT FOR SHARING THE SAME CLAN NAME AND MAYBE LIVING IN THE SAME VILLAGE ON THE FACE OF THIS FUCKING EARTH.also itachi's mother Mikoto (who was by born an uchiha) and Shisui's mother (who was a non uchiha,name unknown) were NOT related (obviously). So,itachi didn't go to eat fuckin Thanksgiving turkey with Shisui's family every November and we shiita shippers don't condone any nasty incest stuff.and the fuckin uchihas prefer marrying into the same clan so y'all need to bippity boppity back the fuck up

Onto the ship now : the thing about shiita is shisui and itachi's bond didn't actually get to bloom in an adult light,this is why some y'all still doubt them.But even after that,their bond was SO unique i just HAD TO ship :

as kids,they referred to ShiIta as brotherly love(note that sasunaru gaylords were told to have brotherly love too,But we can see when they got the chance to grow,what that eventually resulted in) *cough* Gayest Gay Love *cough*

The amount of shared pressure and stress,the expectations of being the ideal uchiha- this was on both of their shoulders(both being genius shinobi and all).So,ShiIta clearly shared a special connection over that shared stressful life (even before shit went downhill).Shisui is that person who itachi can return home to,the one who accepts all the flaws and loves the imperfect person underneath the perfect uchiha doll (and vice versa)

The world was on their shoulders,shit was getting messy but even at that moment,shisui was protecting itachi,AND they were laughing together and confining in each other,which is a key point of their bond,itachi didn't confine in anyone else with his naked thoughts and same goes for shisui(who was older than itachi,yet he found comfort in Itachi and not any same aged friend) no matter what,they took the stress away from e/o whenever it got too much

itachi is the type of person whose mind is always in chaos and shisui has always been his anchor.Guiding him, supporting him through life.

the thing that strikes me most is when shisui just goes like he doesn't know what to do anymore but he knew one thing that he'd never betray itachi like-

Also can we talk about how AMAZING shisui is? like he's fucking strong and talented yet he's SO soft for itachi? He is The most understanding, accepting,level headed and sane uchiha. (cz uchiha culture is going off the fuckin rails,starting wars and commiting international crimes and mass murders when they feel sad) but my baby just sacrificed himself in silence.

itachi is the type of person who is ready to be a doormat for others' happiness (DUH he became a terrorist for his village),so he definitely needs a partner equally selfless (like shisui) who won't take advantage and leech off of his kindness.

this is the thing,this is the type of bond itachi needs in his life... despite all of itachi's crazy fuckery,shisui would be that one person itachi could return home to and rely on. the person who won't leave or betray him,who will understand and give him benefit of doubt,who will accept and forgive. (again,this ain't even a guess,shisui literally said and proved this) it was a character trait of shisui to love and protect itachi,a part of him just devoted to itachi and vice versa(and I'll deck yall if you say that ain't love)

and just my opinion when you find a selfless soul consuming love and unconditional support like this from someone outside family,it eventually turns into something more than just 'friendship'. And let's face it the amount of adoration and devotion shisui had for Itachi (and vice versa),it would have totally developed into something romantic. Such passion usually doesn't stay platonic for too long.

also Shisui (My Libra king) is exactly what itachi (My Gemini Lord) needs.The warm accepting Libra love is what a gemini needs and the intelligent playful Gemini love is what a Libra needs.

i LOVE itachi and so of course i will want the most selfless,understanding, accepting, reliable, forgiving, level headed,kind, devoted, empathetic, self sacrificing and best partner for itachi (that'd be shisui) and this is why ShiIta is one of my top ships.

The most heartbreaking part is that itachi,shisui and their connection did not get the chance to grow or it would've been an equally good bond like sns if not more.While naruto kicks sasuke's ass over everything,shisui would just go around saying shit like IF YOU HATE ITACHI YO MOMMA FAT or LOOK AT HOW MY BABY COMMITS MURDER or some shit

they'd be the disgustingly-in-love couple that is forever stuck in the honeymoon phase lol

anyway Much love for the ask,my dear anon,i hope you have a great day. (and sorry for this longass essay i couldn't stop myself from writing about my otp)

#oop im giddy from all that typing #lit rally I've been gathering points all this time that's why it took me a bit time to answer #also anon literally you wanna know my opinions?#mom pick me up I'm ugly crying #lol #shiita is all i need in this life and in afterlife #shiita #itashi #itachi #shisui #ask

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savage-angel-was-a-mistake · 7 years ago

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We Don't Talk About Applebees

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT APPLEBEE'S Naruto and Sasuke were fighting. Again. God knows about what, because they fought so much that we honestly didn't give a damn what it was about anymore, we just hoped they'd give it a rest so we could get some god damned peace. We were currently at Sasuke's house –er, mansion- because it was larger than all of our houses and Sasuke didn't seem to fond of being alone in the house he inherited when his parents had passed, and we didn't blame him one bit. Besides, his house was HUGE, so we thoroughly enjoyed being there. With the way Naruto and Sasuke were always fighting, you'd think Sasuke would kick him out of the house. A few months ago, Sasuke had begrudgingly agreed –bent to Naruto's will, have you- and allowed Naruto to move in. Stupid move, considering the fact that it seemed to put a strain on their friendship. "Naruto." Sasuke said angrily. The blond turned to Sasuke, a brow quirked in question. "…yes?" Naruto asked. "We need to talk." "Can't it wait? I'm in the middle of a reallyinteresting conversation, and-" "Now." Sasuke demanded, cutting Naruto off mid whine. Naruto huffed out an exasperated breath. "Fine, okay, I'm coming." He replied rather angrily. And so they walked off, Sasuke fuming and Naruto strapping in for the ride, because Sasuke seemed to do this a lot and Naruto just seemed to put up with it at this point. We all shared a collective glance among us and sighed. "Dear God," Kiba complained rather loudly, quite possibly attempting to catch the attention of the retreating figures, "don't they ever stop fighting? I mean, give it a rest already!" "They fight like a married couple." Shikamaru said. He had gotten married a little under a year ago to another close friend, Tenmari, so we figured that he knew what he was talking about. "We don't really fight like that, though." Tenmari added, "We don't really fight at all, seeing as you're too lazy to put in any effort. The arguments seem one sided more often than not." "They fight like a stereotypical married couple." Shikamaru corrected himself, "Is that good enough for you?" "As good as it's going to get." "What are they even fighting about?" I asked. I didn't really mean to say it out loud, but my thought sort of manifested itself into words. "Do you honestly, I mean, really honestly, want to know?" Kiba asked, "Because at this point, it's just figuring out how petty Sasuke is being this time." I supposed that Kiba was right, Sasuke was seemingly petty recently. The last time they had asked what they were fighting about, it was how Naruto apparently left his clothes in the dryer. Boo hoo. They came back eventually and Naruto continued our previous conversation as if nothing happened. Sasuke walked into the kitchen seemingly pleased with himself. I swear, sometimes it seemed like he got off on yelling at Naruto, which was definitely weird. I decided to let it go. Honestly, they were just a huge bundle of drama manifested into two very angry and often petty man-children. ... One day I happened to find myself listening in on an interesting conversation between Naruto and Kiba. They were sitting at the dining room table, which is where our more animated conversations took place. "I swear to God, Kiba, Sasuke has the perfect poker face, one on a level that you could only hope to ever achieve." Naruto said, almost gloating for some strange reason. "Naruto, I have a pretty impressive poker face, I highly doubt Sasuke's is better." Kiba defended himself rather smugly. "Have you ever seen any emotion on that man's face? Like, ever?" Naruto asked. "I've seen him angry at you." Kiba said after pausing to think. "That's it though, right? You've only ever seen him angry." "I'm not sure that man has any emotions besides anger." Kiba fired back as if this fact were obvious. "He's got more emotions than that, Kiba; he's human. I'm just warning you to not play cards with him, ever, because he will whoop your sorry ass into next week without so much as a smirk on that damned face of his." Kiba's left eyebrow twitched at Naruto's claim. "Alright," Kiba challenged, "why don't we test this theory?" "Fine by me." Naruto replied before leaning over to yell at Sasuke, "Oi, gay sauce, get your ass over here and defend your honor like the god damned man you are." Sasuke entered the room with a deadly glare pointed at Naruto. "How many times have I told you to not call me that?" "Irrelevant," Naruto dismissed, "you're playing cards with Kiba." Sasuke paused. "I'm what?" "You're playing cards with Kiba." Naruto repeated again. "…and why, exactly, am I playing cards with Kiba?" Sasuke asked with obviously waning patience. "Because he so boldly claims that you have the most fantastic poker face in the world, and I am determined to prove him wrong." Kiba said, passing his own glare at Sasuke. Sasuke arched an eyebrow at Naruto, seemingly wondering why he was saying that, but for some reason I could swear on my mother's grave that there was a challenge in that look of his. "Oh really?" Sasuke asked, and that was when his challenge became a bit more apparent. "Yes, really, now sit your ass down you're playing Bull Shit." "That requires more than two players." Sasuke stated. "Um, yeah, Naruto, I'm going to have to agree with Sasuke on this one." Kiba said. Naruto turned to look at me. "How good is your poker face, Sakura?" He asked, smiling gleefully. "Um, pretty good, I suppose," I said slowly, "nothing that would make me brag like you guys are, though." "Great!" Naruto excitedly clapped his hands together, "It's settled! You three are playing Bull Shit, winner has the best poker face." Kiba and I turned to Naruto while Sasuke fiddled with the cards that I did not notice were there and frankly didn't care where they had come from at the moment. "Why aren't you playing?" I asked. "Because I gotta take a shit," Naruto said as if it were the most natural thing in the world, "a massive shit, and I'm not sure when I'll be back. I'll join you next round guys, 'kay?" Kiba and I almost inquired further but, honestly, we weren't exactly sure where that train of thought would lead. So, we ultimately agreed. Naruto left the room and the game had begun. The game was slightly difficult, at least for me, because either my poker face game was off or Sasuke had a fucking lie detector on him, because he called me out every fucking time. Kiba, the poor man, wasn't very good at calling people out, but I must say his poker face was pretty good. Sasuke's… well, Naruto was right when he said that his poker face was something to behold, because god damn that man didn't even bat an eyelash. As Naruto promised, he came in shortly after the first round and joined in on our fun. His poker face? God fucking awful. He was probably pleased with himself when he had hid how awful his was in the previous conversation behind the gloating about Sasuke's. It seemed like a weird thing to get defensive about. It also seemed weird that Sasuke seemed to know where things were going. I, of course, elected to ignore it, because, quite frankly, those two were odd balls of another level, and to try to get in on their drama and train of thought was akin to digging a hole and forgetting the ladder. ... My birthday was in two weeks. I was excited enough, because I was younger than the others so I could still be a little excited. We decided to celebrate two weeks early because we couldn't all coordinate our days off to celebrate any later. I had this wonderful idea that we should try something new, since we had gone to pretty much every restaurant within a 10 mile radius. So I decided on a place we had never been, not at all aware of the drama that would ensue. "Let's go to Applebee's." I proposed. We were currently at Sasuke's house, again, sitting around his dining room table. Sasuke choked on his drink, Naruto hitting him on the back to stop the coughing that followed. I looked at him funny, because that was definitely not the response I was expecting. "Uh… which Applebee's?" Naruto asked cautiously. "Um, the only one within a 10 mile radius? Come on, guys, the other one is, like, 15 miles further." Kiba said. "Oh." Sasuke replied, his voice a little higher than normal. "You have to come, guys, it's for Sakura's birthday and she chose the venue." Tenmari downright scolded them. They leaned in close, whispering urgently between each other. After a minute or two, they rejoined the group and sat back simultaneously. Naruto looked at Sasuke. "Applebee's?" He asked. "Applebee's." Sasuke replied with a slight nod of the head. We all wondered what was up with Applebee's that made them act like this but, again, we didn't want any part of their drama. Or, in this case, their antics that we were not made aware of. ... We entered the Applebee's, Naruto and Sasuke trailing behind at a distance, whispering among themselves one again. It appeared as though they were having an argument and, honestly, second thoughts about agreeing to come here. Once they entered and one of the wait staff looked at them, the whole wait staff seemed to hush down do a dull whisper campaign. Sasuke and Naruto looked around at the questioning faces. "Well, they certainly remember us." Sasuke said quietly to Naruto, but not quietly enough to where I couldn't catch it. "It's been three years, Sasuke, stop being so paranoid." Naruto dismissed his apparent paranoia. "Naruto," Sasuke said blankly, "they're staring at us. I'm pretty god damned sure they remember us." "Well, I hardly believe that he's still here. Remember how old he was?" Naruto asked. "Hm…" Sasuke thought, then continued while nodding his head, "yeah, probably retired." "Most definitely retired, Sasuke," Naruto confirmed, "calm your tits." This addition to the conversation Sasuke deemed worthy of an elbow to the gut. "If he is here, he's going to call the cops again." Sasuke continued, a certain wariness in his voice. I widened my eyes. What the fuck had they done? "Aw, dude, we got out of that one easy last time." Naruto again dismissed Sasuke's 'paranoia' with a wave of the hand. "Well, maybe that's because the officer they dispatched last time was Kakashi, who you know." Sasuke almost growled the last part. "We could get him again." Naruto said with confidence in his voice. I could just feel the eye roll Sasuke gave him. "I seriously doubt that Kakashi would come again and-" Sasuke was cut off by our host addressing us. "Your table is ready. Please, follow me." She said, her eyes on the pair the whole time. She almost seemed… excited? Which was pretty weird, considering the conversation I had just overheard. We made our way to the table, the wait staff watching us along the way. I was legitimately frightened about the prospect that my friends were god damned criminals and they had just pulled us into it. Luckily for the rest of the group, they didn't have a god damned clue. We sat down, Naruto and Sasuke on the far end of the table, a couple seats away from the rest of us since the table they sat us at was huge. The waitress leaned down to have a quiet conversation to the potentially felons. After a bit, she looked up at us and asked, "How do you guys put up with them?" Judging by the 'cut it out' hand motions they were both making, it seemed like they were determined to keep whatever fiasco had happened previously on the down low. "They don't know us." Sasuke lied. "Yeah, we just asked to sit at their table- they just agreed." Naruto said, looking at Sasuke while nodding. Sasuke nodded back. "Mm hm, we have no idea who they even are." Sasuke confirmed. The waitress smiled at them before turning her back. I was glad that they were making an effort to not get our asses arrested too. The waitress turned back hurredly, a look of distress on her face. "He's coming," She said ominously before reverting back to her smile, "your host will be right with you." And then she left. And then he stormed up to the table, a paper in his hand. He glared at my friends, who looked up at him with mock innocence. "Hello, kind sir, how may we help you today?" Naruto asked. "What are your names." The man didn't ask but demanded with poorly concealed anger. "Why, I'm Jack Nicholson," Sasuke leaned an elbow on the table. "And I'm Adam Wesly," Naruto 'introduced' himself. "And together, we're…" Sasuke looked at Naruto and smiled. They turned towards him and said in unison, "Adam Wesly and Jack Nicholson!" The man's glare intensified. "So you are not Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha." He growled. They looked at each other. "Have you heard of them?" Sasuke asked. "I dunno, Naruto sounds kinda like food, though." Naruto replied. Sasuke nodded in agreement, which only served to piss off the man even more. "Well then, let's ask your friends, shall we?" He asked. Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other with widened eyes. "Um, we don't know them." Sasuke spit out quickly. "Yeah, uh, we asked to sit with them. We have no idea who they are." Naruto added. "You can ask the waitress, we informed her of our predicament." Sasuke sat back in his chair confidently. "Yes we did, Jack- yes we did." Naruto nodded, sitting back in his chair too. He showed them the piece of paper. The picture was blurry, and we were sitting a little ways away, so we couldn't make it out. Sasuke and Naruto studied it. "…where do you even keep this?" Naruto asked, looking up at the man. "In the breakroom." He replied through gritted teeth. "…" Sasuke seemed to ponder over the information, "… do you guys, like, jack off to this?" he asked. The man sputtered in response, his face turning red. "Wha- I- NO! OF COURSE NOT!" He yelled. "He doth protest too much." Naruto leaned over to whisper to Sasuke. "Agreed." Sasuke replied. "Are you, or are you not the two men in this picture?" He asked. They looked at each other, the lie they were about to give being formulated between their eyes. "Jack Nicholson, you did not tell me you had a doppelganger." Naruto accused 'Jack'. "Adam Wesly, you did not tell me you had a doppelganger." Sasuke fired back. "Apparently our doppelgangers are having more fun than us!" Naruto said incredulously. "For real, though! They look like they're having the time of their life!" Sasuke replied. They couldn't hold back the smiles on their faces as their façade broke down more and more. The man slammed his hands down on the table, his glare passing between the two men. "Three years ago, you guys FORNICATED in my establishment!" He yelled. Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other with actual shock before they broke down into fits of laughter. "Naruto, you should have told me we were fornicating! I would have actually taken my clothes off to do it properly!" The statement only made them laugh harder and the man's glare stronger. "Are you mocking me?" He asked. They looked up at him, tears in their eyes from the laughing that had finally begun to subside. "Oh, honey, do you not know what fornicating is?" Sasuke asked, attempting to hold back his giggles. "Me thinks he's a virgin." Naruto drawled out the last word. "I will have you know I have two VERY beautiful young daughters." Naruto and Sasuke shared a look before turning back to the man. "…are you really, like, honest to god defending your sex life?" Sasuke asked. "To us?" Naruto asked after. The man glared at them. "That's it," he stated, "I am calling the cops." Naruto and Sasuke once again shared a shocked look before turning to his with hands up in a feeble attempt to calm the fuming man down. "Dude, we're just fucking with you," Naruto laughed a little, "calm down." "Get out of my establishment." The man said with authority in his voice, "What part of banned for life do you not understand?" "Um…" Naruto thought for a moment, "the life part." "Definitely the 'for' part." Sasuke said. They began to laugh again. "I want you OUT of my establishment, and I want you to NEVER come back!" "What are we supposed to do then, fornicate in the McDonald's across the street?" Naruto asked. "So not as much fun," Sasuke shook his head. "tssk, tssk." "Get out of my establishment. NOW." The man screamed the last word. They jumped up, heading towards the exit. "YOU BOTH ARE GOING TO HELL!" He screamed after them. Sasuke turned back to do a tear drop gesture with his middle finger before laughing and turning away, Naruto's hand reaching into Sasuke's back pocket. After they were gone, the man took a few deep breaths and looked at our shocked faces. "You really shouldn't allow strangers to sit at your table with you." And with that, he turned and left. We sat in shocked silence until we looked around at each other, mouths wide open, searching for someone, anyone who was aware of what had happened. The host came to our table to take our drink orders. We figured that we'd ask them after we had finished eating, because, as stated before- -you don't want to get caught up in their drama. ... We entered the McDonald's across the street, hoping they would be there. And they were. Sasuke was currently wearing Naruto's jacket, both of their hair mussed up, throwing whole fries at Naruto, who was hopelessly attempting to catch them in his mouth. After the third one, he looked at Sasuke with a stern face. "You need to rip them into smaller pieces, Sasuke- I can't catch them who-" he was cut off by a ripped French fry smacking him between the eyes. He waved his arms around in a, 'come on, dude' sort of way. "I wasn't ready!" He whined, shortly before another fry was launched at his face. He blinked a few times, staring at Sasuke's smugly smirking face. Naruto snatched the container of fries from between them. Sasuke quirked an eyebrow in challenge. "Let's see how you like it, bastard." Naruto huffed out before throwing a whole fry at Sasuke, which then resulted in a surprised face as Sasuke caught it with ease. Sasuke leaned on his hand, watching Naruto with that smug look still plastered on his face as he chewed slowly. Naruto threw another one and Sasuke caught it just as easily. His eyes were wide, until the eyelids drooped slightly, giving his face a certain 'bedroom' feel. Sasuke's smirk grew. "I can think of a couple places that skill can come in handy." Naruto said huskily. Sasuke leaned in. "Oh yeah?" He asked. "Totally." Naruto replied. They leaned in for a kiss before Kiba cleared his throat. They looked at us with bored expressions. "Hey dudes," Naruto started, "welcome to the land of delinquents." "Population: us." Sasuke added. They looked at each other and laughed. Sasuke fed another fry to Naruto who happily accepted the offering. We stared at them. They looked back at us. They broke out into laughter. Somehow, the situation was so outlandish that we could not muster up the energy to laugh. "…are you two… together?" Kiba asked cautiously. The pair looked at each other. "I dunno…" Sasuke looked at Naruto with assessing eyes, "what are we?" Sasuke asked. "I dunno." Naruto replied. They burst out into laughter again. "Dude, we've been together for, what, six years now?" Naruto asked Sasuke. "A little over six years," Sasuke answered, nodding. "…what did you guys do?" I asked them. I could feel all of the glares on my back because, frankly, did we want to know? "Um, do you mean tonight, or three fucking years ago?" Naruto asked. "Can't believe that they really mean for life when they say life time ban." Sasuke said in disbelief. "TONIGHT?" We asked in unison. They laughed again. I almost believed they were drunk at this point, but considering that Sasuke didn't drink, that possibility was down the drain. It would've been an easier explanation than whatever they were about to feed us. "Yeah, tonight," Naruto said, nodding. "We fornicated in the parking lot." Sasuke grinned, which made me uncomfortable because, let's face it, Sasuke's not the kind to grin. Or fornicate in an Applebee's. Or fornicate in an Applebee's parking lot. Or fornicate with… well, Naruto. That seemed a bit off, but it was slowly becoming apparent to me that this was the scary reality that I was currently living in. "Wouldn't that like… hurt? At least one of you?" Kiba asked. Sasuke shot up. He lifted the sleeve above the elbow to show the terrifying abrasion he had there. Kiba gawked. "Doesn't that hurt?" Sasuke looked at him with a dead serious expression. "Occupational hazard," He replied. They burst out into laughter again. "And then we fornicated in the bathroom here." Naruto announced as if fornication was something to be boasted about. "One person bathrooms are a blessing." Sasuke added, all but laying his top half on the table they were sitting at. "…what…" I looked at everyone else to confirm that they were ready for me to ask the next question, but all I saw were faces of uncertainty. Seeing as I was also uncertain, I asked anyways. "…what happened three years ago?" I asked quietly, almost praying that they hadn't heard. By the fact that their faces lit up as they looked at each other, I realized that they had. "Well, you see-" Naruto started. "-It was our third anniversary-" Sasuke continued. "-and we somehow ended up at Applebee's-" "-because the car broke down-" "-and three years ago, there was no McDonald's here-" "-so we went into Applebee's and got seated-" it was at this moment that I noticed that they actually, honest to god, finished each other's sentences. "-and, you know, being our anniversary and all-" Naruto again continued. "-we were in kind of a romantic mood-" "-despite it being fucking Applebee's for Christ's sake-" "-and Naruto pecked me on the lips-" "-just a tiny, tiny, very short and very sweet peck-" they pecked each other on the lips to demonstrate, I guess, and it didn't seem like anything that would be considered fornicating. "-and the manager sees us-" Sasuke looked at Naruto with a look of, 'dear god, this man had some major issues'. "-and apparently he is homophobic as fuck-" "- so he goes off on us, telling us that we're going to hell-" "-that we shouldn't be doing that in public-" "-the whole nine yards." Sasuke rolls his head a bit at the ridiculousness of the situation. "So then-" "-being the bright person I am-" Sasuke smiles a small smile, looking at Naruto. "-he fucking looks that man straight in his fucking eyes-" the giggles start up again. "-and- and- and I say- wait for it…" "…oh, you didn't like that?" "Then you sure as hell won't like this!" "And he fucking crawls over the fucking table-" "-and dude, I don't care about my dignity at this point, because I was ready to smite that man into the darkest pits of hell-" "-and we start making out, and I swear to godSasuke is fucking grinding on me-" "-and that bastard called the fucking cops!" At this point they're speaking between fits of laughter. "He goes, 'YOU'RE BOTH BANNED FOR LIFE, GET OUT OF MY ESTABLISHMENT!'" Naruto doubles over, crying at this point because apparently to them this is so fucking funny. To us, it's goddamned disturbing. "And so the cops come-" Sasuke continues as the laughter dies down. "-and thank fuck it's Kakashi-" "-and he laughs it off and lets us go." Sasuke finished. "The end." Naruto adds to lessen the confusion on whether or not the story had ended. We look at them. We look long and hard. These people before us were not Naruto and Sasuke. But the more we talk to them, the more they explain that that's really how they are normally, between them, it was just that they hadn't told us yet. More disturbing than the Applebee's story they had just 'graced' us with, was why they believed that their relationship was obvious. "You know when Sasuke storms up to me like, 'we need to talk'?" Naruto asked. "Oh god, I do not like where this is going…" Kiba put his head in his hands. I realized at this point that Shikamaru and Tenmari had elected to stay silent during the whole night. "That would be me pulling him aside to have sex." Sasuke said matter-of-factly. Kiba groaned. "I did not want to hear that. Like, ever…" Kiba grumbled. "Oh, you didn't like that?" Sasuke asked. "Oh dear god, do not say that, especially after that story you just told…" Kiba pleaded. "…you remember when I told you that Sasuke had a good poker face?" Naruto asked. Kiba stared at him in mute horror. Naruto only smiled. "You did not." Kiba said in disbelief. Naruto nodded, smiling. "No. No. No, no, nonono." Kiba was shaking his head. Honestly, I was a little lost. "Eh, it wasn't the first time he'd done it." Sasuke added. Kiba then turned to stare at him. "WHAT? WHEN?" Kiba yelled. "A lot of times, actually." Naruto confessed, though he didn't seem the least bit guilty. The dots were starting to connect for me, but I wasn't quite there yet. "You are never, EVER, EVER sitting at a table with me again." Kiba said. "We're sitting at one now." Sasuke pointed out. Kiba whipped his head to look at him. "Don't- don't even JOKE about that, dear GOD!" "I'm lost…" I tried to whisper to Shikamaru and Tenmari, only to find that they had probably bolted to save themselves from the truth about our friends. "I want to see you dominate a game of Bull Shit while being sucked off." Naruto said. My eyes widened as I looked at the blond. "EXCUSE ME?" I asked loudly. Naruto looked at me. "…we've been talking about this for, like, five minutes now." Naruto said. "Welcome to the conversation." Sasuke mumbled into his folded arms, half asleep. "Okay, you know what? I second the motion that you two do not sit at a table with us, because… dear god…" I trailed off. Naruto laughed again. "Oh, well. Our loss, I guess." He shrugged. ... We walked to the car, Sasuke having taken a nap during our conversation and was ready to roll again. Naruto stopped us in front of the car. He turned to Sasuke. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He stated. "That's good." Sasuke replied. Naruto looked at him. "Um… I'm trying to make this romantic?" He asked. "Trying to make what romantic?" Sasuke asked, eyeing him suspiciously. "Well, our friends know now, and, we're in the Applebee's parking lot, which is cool because we apparently fornicated in and outside this thing so I guess it's important to us…" Sasuke watched him. "Go on…" "Well, I…" Naruto paused. "…I'm ready to stop being boyfriends." Sasuke's eyes widened. I could see where Naruto was going with this, but apparently Sasuke couldn't, judging by the alarmed look on his face. "What?" He choked out. "Calm your tits, Sas, I'm not done yet." Naruto reprimanded him. Ah, true romance was in the air tonight. Naruto got down on one knee and held out the ring. "Will you marry me?" Sasuke stood in his spot with wide eyes staring at the ring. Apparently, being accused of fornicating in an Applebee's, getting thrown out of said Applebee's, and then actually fornicating in the same Applebee's parking lot and then proceeding to fornicate in the McDonald's across the street and finally come out to your friends was all too much to process. And then Naruto had to fucking propose. Naruto sat still, waiting for Sasuke to answer. After a minute or two of fidgeting, he said "Sasuke, if you don't say yes soon I am going to punch you in the fucking throat, I swear to god." Naruto was definitely the pinnacle of classy romance. Sasuke finally, finally nodded slightly. Naruto rose up slightly. "Yes?" He asked. Sasuke nodded a bit more noticeably this time. "Really?" Naruto asked again, rising up more. Sasuke again nodded, this time quite excitedly. "Really, really, really?" "Dear god, Naruto, yes!" Sasuke cried as he hugged Naruto close to him. They both cried, actually. As Naruto slipped on the ring I realized that it was two weeks before my birthday, and it was the closest day we had to get together before then. Those motherfuckers stole my spotlight, starting three fucking years ago. ... It's been nine years since Naruto and Sasuke got together. Their romance game is still running strong. It's been six years since the first Applebee's incident. You know, the one that got them banned for life? It's been three years since they got engaged at the second Applebee's incident. Unfortunately, I can't say the last one, because those motherfuckers like to test the boundaries of 'banned for life' every year. It's also been three years of getting used to the new Naruto and Sasuke. As promised, we never sat at tables with them unless we were in public, because we weren't risking shit. Sasuke apparently really, really likes Naruto, because he can often be found clinging to the blond haired man. Naruto has affectionately dubbed him his 'beautiful octopus boyfriend'- well, when he's not calling his dick hole or dip shit or something of the sort. It also happens that, instead of requesting to talk, Sasuke will literally grab Naruto by his face, often mid conversation, and drag him to the bedroom, the bathroom, a fucking closet- anywhere that is convenient for access at the time. It's been two years since the wedding. The wedding was wonderful, actually. Naruto downright cried when he saw Sasuke coming down the aisle. Sasuke teared up, too. A couple of the Applebee's employees- ones that had worked on the first occasion- had been invited. According to them, the pair are actually quite the legend at the Applebee's- veteran employees tell the newbies, so much so that they're not even sure if any of the people that worked then are even there anymore. And, of course, Naruto and Sasuke see this as a tremendous achievement. It's been about a year since we befriended Gaara, a quiet man that likes to keep to himself. Unfortunately for him, he is always dragged to dinner parties by his sister, which happened to by Tenmari. I always found it weird that we hadn't met Gaara any sooner. It's been about six months since we started being dragged along to these parties. It's also been six months since we got together to formulate the 'completely accurate' story of how Naruto proposed, because that is apparently a hot topic. And, let's face it, it's for the best- We don't talk about Applebee's.

#narusasu #I need validation #fanfiction #Naruto #Sasuke

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speedilyfriedglitter-blog · 8 years ago

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SASUSAKU IS FRAUDULENT

Sasusaku is a fraud

or how sasuke has been manipulated into SS.

I’m gonna analyze it through two POV: Kishimoto’s and canonverse’s.

-KISHIMOTO:

let’s say he was genuine about it.

1) He admitted in one of his interviews that he even wanted to write a love triangle (that’s just… wow) but ACCORDING to his own words, it wasn’t possible because a) this is a Shonen, and b) he had to prioritize. So, if you say romance was equally important here, you’re deluding yourself. He was focused on everything appealing to boys, i.e. just friendships, popularity contexts and fights. So, it’s only normal, that no romance would have deep development.

In this case, some positive and ROMANTIC-looking moments -no matter how few they are- are enough for romance in this genre. Yet SS doesn’t enjoy from such privilege: part I, team 7 is like family to him (canon), so Sakura is like a sister. He thus protects her as one. Part II -call it ‘he’s in darkness’, or ‘fake Sasuke’- but there’s nothing left of this relationship. The worse is SS went from sibling relationship, to nothing, to romance with a guy that never showed interest in such trivial things as being “attracted to girl or romance”, despite him knowing it actually existed.

2) Kishimoto had only cared about Naruto, his MC, tailoring the rest of the series around him. It’s so bad that every fodder character, every guy from the “main cast” and every evil has surrendered their soul to him. So, once he’s given Naruto his fucking acknowledgement, nothing else mattered for the author.

Sasuke who should have been seen getting over UCM, mending, finding his ways, healing or anything catering to his mental abuse and this abominating genocide has never happened. Why? Because Kishimoto never cared. It wasn’t in his plan.

How can a real Sasuke fan be satisfied with that?

The fact that romance wasn’t even relevant to Kishimoto, and that he didn’t cared about his own creation, he just took the nearest short-cut possible, since ‘Sasuke’s chapter’ was closed to him the moment Naruto beat him.

Since then, he manipulated everything to suit their –SP & Cie’s agenda -Boruto-

Basic reading comprehension.

CANON – VERSE

First, proofs that sasuke is broken and damage i.e. in a state he can be manipulated and driven to do something he doesn’t much care about in the first place.

He’s a ghost of himself

You see there? Sasuke ceased to exist at that very moment. How any decision he made after this can is something genuine? He just surrendered his soul to the world. He keeps living for other people, putting their wishes first, since he doesn’t have any drive himself.

This fragile sasuke can easily end with sakura not because it’s something he has always wanted but, he’s not himself anymore.

Here, he shows us that he’s always been inferior to Naruto and Itachi. Here, you witness a broken man who doesn’t have any more self-love or self-esteem. He’s lost. How is he that Sasuke who made choices because he felt it necessary or what he wanted?

Also, very important, is his dynamic with Itachi. Sorry Itachi fans but he accepted to side against his own family. He betrayed his family, so how Sasuke who is pro-Uchiha forgave a pro-Konoha! Itachi was the last link to the family he ever loved.

Obviously, Sasuke became someone who can be manipulated and everyone who can substitute to his family/Itachi can manipulate him just as well. So, no silly things as “Sasuke can’t be manipulated or driven to do something that doesn’t go with his normal way of being”. He hasn’t even a mind for himself anymore, lol. He deemed necessary to become another Naruto/Itachi.

Because team 7 became that substitute, team 7 can have a huge impact on his mental, and that include Sakura with all that pushing her obsession on him until he breaks. That’s his reality now.

When Sakura confesses, he thinks back again to his family.

For Sasuke, nothing was as much important as his family. He even admitted that he had craved for love, and how he sought for a substitute in Naruto.

That’s back when his old family was more important than anything. After Naruto wins, he breaks down his final wall. What kept team 7 from replacing the Uchiha family, has been vanquished by that final fight. Now Team 7 is not only his sole “decent” connection but his only family.

Like he drank Itachi’s words, he’s bound to drink Team 7 words too.

By the way, why Sasuke felt like helping to save the world but then pull that bullshit? Another bullshit to end this too-long Shonen for Kishimoto.

That he had always loved his family, that team 7 took this place now, that he feels that what he fought for or thought is inferior to Itachi’s and now Naruto’s moral and that Naruto beat him until he had surrendered shows that he shifted his emotions from his old family to team 7.

Now he thinks he’s the worse person to ever walk on this earth when he actually acted like any other ninja. That lets it read that Itachi and now team 7 are always right and he’s wrong to think otherwise. Because he puts himself under those people he thinks are saints moral-wise, he surrendered to their wishes.

He’s like a wound left open now. Every bacterium that ever existed can contaminate him. Yahoo!!

What happened after the big fight and team 7 reunited?

-Kakashi just keeps reading his porn in a shady place.

-Naruto gave up on him.

-Sakura kept confessing until he said yes.

-He has no one but team 7. This team 7 is what is left for someone who put connections above else, and once craved for love.

-All that is important in Naruto is to be pretty, cool and have super power-ups and whatnot. Also get married. You know, ticking everything on the usual bucket-everyday-lists without actually giving it second-thoughts. What? Friendships? Forget about it! Let’s just scratch it a bit and forget about it later on.

So, Sasuke pleases them now, and there’s no one out there to put him first or at least help with his mental health or scars. I mean, now that he isn’t against the Shinobi system why cares about him? Just know something: the moment you get married, whatever pain or mental scars you have will vanish without actually caters to it. (Sarcasm again)

Miscellanies:

-The OOC of both to make SS:

Sakura went:

From this:

and this

note her promise

(Makes this face):

to this:

like this:

and that:

a) Sakura reverts back to her 12 self around Sasuke. Crying and repeating confessions. b) Her natural confidence that could have helped Sasuke is none existent. Now she acts like a doormat. Please go watch canon written by Kishi –she’s got little to no backbone when Sasuke is concerned. As long as Sasuke answered positively to her confession she’s okay with everything. c) Sakura who is a cheerful young lady tone down her personality to match Sasuke’s moody one.

Meanwhile, she never writes letters to Sasuke or even tells him to visit to see his daughter, but she wears gladly his Uchiha crest. See how SSS in gaiden is another guilt-trip session for Sasuke. He wanted a family and now it became a source of stress. Everyone, from Sasuke to Sakura, going through salad, everyone was apologizing. Sweet love!

I like Sakura (she’s evolved emotionally and physically), and I love Sasuke but together? I wanna choke a teddy-bear.

-Sorry but Sasuke has NEVER showed romantic interests or whatsoever in anyone. Instead of ending like Jiraya or Orochimaru, aka with no burdens like raising child but travelling freely, he’s got now a child? What happened? How? Sakura raped him or something? Did he ask her? Had they actually had sex? That’s insane.

-In real fucking life, when a boy doesn’t show interest for any girl, he’s gay or aromantic. Don’t even start with culture. Naruto showed interest. Jiraya did. Rock lee did. Heck, shojo and shounen ai come from japan.

-yeah SS is canon lol. So? If I could fucking take it seriously though, it’s empty, boring and with no real sparks or frictions. Nothing at stakes or anything one could write books about except their aesthetic. Just headcanons like Sakura opening Sasuke’s heart to life -when it’s Naruto-, Sasuke looking like a love interest from a shojo or SNS rip-offs…

They don’t match the canon, neither their respective in character persona.

So, only stupid people can get butt-hurt over the fact that not everyone wants to ship it or find it logical. You like it, ship it elsewhere instead of looking for trouble with antis or other shippers.

To summarize my point is:

-SS indeed happens because Sakura drives him -along team 7- to response to her feelings, not because he was “in love”. (It’s not the same old independent Sasuke). There’s nothing remotely special or admirable about it.

-Sasuke’s last relationships aren’t what could have helped him. Look at him; he’s still vagabonding. Even Naruto ‘let him down’. You think that it’s not Naruto’s job? Then their bond is cheap. You think otherwise? Then let’s admit together that Kishi mostly ruined it all.

I don’t care if you ship SS but how Kishimoto handled it and some extreme fans of his had me angry as hell.

I can’t believe I’m still receiving “kill yourself delulu fugly”, “kill yourself” and the likes because I ship a crack-ship, like wut?? Please come down your high horse, lol. You ain’t nothing special, neither is your ship.

#anti sasusaku #anti ss #go read twilight #anti sasuke x sakura #pro sasuke #pro uchiha sasuke

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kelasparmak · 8 years ago

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Naruto for 001?

Favorite character: Kakashi

Least Favorite character: Probably the Sandaime? Like, at least most of the villains are upfront about it, but I felt like Hiruzen made a lot of bad choices that he treated as if they were ~a necessary evil~ but they were really not necessary; I think he very deliberately decided ‘there’s nothing I can do about this’ when there were things he could have done and he was just too cowardly to do them.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Gai and Kakashi, of course! I’m also pretty invested in Ino and Sakura, Naruto and Gaara, Kakashi and Yamato, and Anko and Kurenai. I am also big into team triads, which would in practice probably not be a good idea, but which I imagine would in reality happen a lot and would at least be definitely healthier as a team dynamic than love triangles. (Out of these, I’m probably most invested in poly Team 8, but poly Team Gai is also very close to my heart.)

Character I find most attractive: I feel a little weird thinking about Naruto characters in these terms, I guess because I went from being the same age as or younger than the child characters when I started reading it to almost as old as the adult characters initially were now. I’m pretty sure Anko is the most attractive to me personally, but I think if we assumed age-appropriateness Neji and Temari would also be contenders since I had pretty big crushes on both when I was a kid.

Character I would marry: I mean, it would be an odd relationship no matter who it was, but thinking about I guess I’d probably most like to marry Kurenai and help her raise Mirai? But also there are so many characters I’d be happy marrying, so.

Character I would be best friends with: I would love to be best friends with Anko, but probably Shiho, the ditzy code-breaking nerd lady.

A random thought: I think a lot about how fucked up it is that even in Konoha (which IIRC in canon has a reputation for being the bleeding heart softie village? I might be wrong) up until recently it was apparently normal for kids to make genin and chuunin super young. Like, idk if Kishimoto wasn’t thinking about how dark it was and just wanted to emphasise that Kakashi and Gai are super talented, but according to the databooks didn’t they make genin at 5 and 6 respectively? And when Kakashi puts Team 7 up for the chuunin exams he tells Iruka he made chuunin at half their age (which was either 12 or 13, so yeah, he’d have been six). Like, just thinking about what being a genin requires in terms of mental and physical discipline, let alone the kind of risk involved in going on missions, that is super fucked up, and it is absolutely impossible that they were well-prepared enough after a maximum of two possible years of education. Maybe it was because it was wartime but it’s still like… wow. Goes double for Kakashi making chuunin the year after making genin. Shit’s fucked. Also it adds a new level of hypocrisy to the Sandaime acting like a friendly old grandpa to Naruto and Iruka, and acting appalled when he found out about Root, when not long before he’d presumably been personally sending a 6 year old the same age as his son off to kill or be killed. Like it’s bad enough sending a 12 year old off to do that, but at least by that point they’d been in training for it (in terms of physical training, knowledge and probably most importantly psychological/emotional training) for longer than Kakashi had been alive when he graduated the Academy. Like, yikes.

An unpopular opinion: I don’t know if it’s unpopular per se, but I don’t think I really like either Naruto or Kakashi being Hokage. From what we see of Naruto as Hokage he doesn’t really change anything and I think it is actually a relatively popular opinion that that’s disappointing. I would have preferred it if he’d never become Hokage at all and had changed the world as a hermit not affiliated with any village and helping everyone he could to believe in the Power of Friendship instead. Or if that’s too naive even for a shonen manga, started his own village with a hugely different system or something. And I don’t think Kakashi should have been Hokage either - he didn’t want to be, and while obviously he is intelligent and all, I think he’s much better as a solo operative than as someone with that kind of responsibility; as far as I’m concerned he wasn’t even cut out to be a teacher, he was way too fucked up and it’s canon that he didn’t sign up for it voluntarily. I don’t think he did a terrible job, but I think if Team 7 had been led by someone who knew how to be a human and interact with humans and had experience of being a normal twelve year old, things might have worked out a lot more happily. He could (and should!) still have been in their lives, but like… not with that level of responsibility, it wasn’t any good for them or for him and there’s no way the Sandaime could have reasonably expected it to be.

My canon OTP: I mean, Kakashi and Gai basically are canon at this point, for which I am eternally grateful. I guess out of the canon pairings that are explicitly romantic, I liked the bits we saw of Minato and Kushina’s dynamic, which looked like it was mostly Kushina beating people up (especially Jiraiya) while Minato watches dreamily with big heart eyes and his chin in his hands, going ‘that’s my wife’, and everyone around is mildly horrified by her violent fury. Also the housework sharing (feat. Minato in a pink apron) in the canon AU where they lived, which ought to be a basic requirement but is actually unusual enough to stand out.

Non-canon OTP: Ino/Sakura, I think. I know I always think things are ~obviously gay~ when they’re not meant to be, but even leaving romance out of it their rivalry over boys was very clearly demonstrated in the chuunin exam arc to be a way of them proving their worth to each other despite their insecurities. Not a smart or healthy way, but it was made clear that their competition over Sasuke was about their relationship to each other more than about Sasuke himself. Even if they never got together, I would fight to the death for my lesbian Ino headcanon.

Most badass character: A lot of the characters are way more badass in their potential than in canon, which maybe goes in part with it being a shonen manga (and a lot of the badassery comes from things that wuld actually be way too dark for kids) and partly just from it being a very big cast. In terms of canon though, I guess I’d probably say Gai or Tsunade.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Kakashi/Iruka, which I don’t have a problem with per se, I just don’t get it really. It doesn’t seem to be as prominent these days as when it used to be everywhere, but I just don’t really feel like it would work out very well as a relationship. I also really don’t like the idea that Rin, after watching from the afterlife as Obito murdered so many people, including Minato and Kushina, ~in her honour~, would go ‘aww! look how much you loved me! as a reward for turning back to the light side in the end, we are now in love’. Like, she was a medic, and she was one of the sweetest characters in the manga and stubborn as hell when it came to her principles - she wouldn’t see that as a sign of how much he cared about her, she’d be horrified.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I mean, pretty much all of them. Yamato in particular was screwed over more than screwed up, and Anko too - I think Kishimoto just forgot about them both. As for actively screwing a character up, I think Sakura probably? I don’t mind the idea of a lot of the ninjas retiring relatively early and raising kids, because a) it’s the kind of job where you and your body would get worn out pretty fuckin quick so early retirement ought to be the norm since even with specialised medical care and constant training you’d lose your edge by 40 most likely and losing your edge means dying, b) if you’re gonna have kids at least one parent needs to retire from active duty to raise them on account of the hours and the high death rate. But at the end of the Shinobi War arc Sakura was just coming into her own as a hugely talented combat medic and I don’t think it was in-character for her to settle down yet, especially since Sasuke wasn’t ready to or made to. I’d have been happy with her settling down and leaving active duty for a high-profile medical position once Sasuke was done adventuring, but I honestly can’t see her being satisfied with giving all that up so young, given her drive throughout the series up until then to prove herself as a combat medic.

Favourite friendship: I mean. Kakashi and Gai. Again. Their dynamic is so good and they understand each other so well and they support each other so much (Gai in particular stands out, especialy because he’s the most vocal about it and lbr Kakashi is a mess all the way through the series and so he’s the one we see needing support most often, but it is a mutual thing). But in the interest of variety I’ll pick one I haven’t mentioned yet, and say the Sandsibs. Even while they were terrified of Gaara and he kept going on about how much he hated them, they clearly did also care about him, and all of the flashbacks to them as children are heartbreaking. And after the chuunin exam arc when he decides to let them in, they’re always so sweet and they love each other so much.

#tj dragonblade #ask games for ts #third tag #fourth tag #fifth tag #naruto

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isolavirtuosa · 8 years ago

Text

Post-Post Traumatic: The Second Time 3-4

Post-Post Traumatic [fanfiction] NaruSasu (in progress)

A series of “drabbles” following the events of Post Traumatic.

Previous Parts

The Second Time

3-4 under the cut

- 3 -

“I’m the best husband in the world, right?” Naruto said, hugging me from behind as we watched Ino approach.

“You’re in the top five.”

“What the hell, who are the other four?!” Naruto cried.

“Not in my ear,” I muttered.

“Uncle Naruto!” Yurina cried, running at us.

“Uncle Sasuke!” Tsubaki cried, jumping down from her mother’s arms and racing after her sister.

We both caught our girls in hugs.

“Hi my darling boys,” Ino said, smooching us both on the cheek. “Thanks for having us over.”

That was just Ino’s polite way of saying, ‘hey, Naruto, you told me Sasuke was going crazy again, so as requested here I am with his nieces to use as a preventative measure.’

I couldn’t even be mad about it because it meant I could spend a week with my girls.

Of course, that led to its own complications.

Mari was seething with jealousy.

“You’re important to me, too,” I said, which didn’t satisfy her at all ,and in fact seemed to make her angrier.

Then Karin came back, and the house was overflowing with females.

“Let’s have a girls’ night!” Karin said enthusiastically.

“We can invite Temari!” Ino chimed in.

“A bunch of bossy chicks trying to out-yell each other?” Naruto said, making a face.

“Don’t worry, Naruto, you’re not invited,” Ino said dismissively. “But Sasuke can come.”

“Why can Sasuke come? He hates going out. He’s terrible company. Who would want to hang out with that?!” Naruto protested.

“Thank you, sweetie,” I said.

“Yeah, of course, here to help.”

“Sasuke’s basically a chick, so he can come,” Ino explained.

Naruto burst out laughing.

I kicked him. Then I turned my death glare on Ino. I really didn’t like that shit.

“Come on, Sasuke, you use more hair products than I do,” Ino said.

“And more beauty products in general,” Karin chimed in.

“Is it a crime to take care of one’s appearance?” I growled.

“We said you were feminine, not a criminal,” Ino said.

“I’m not feminine.”

“It’s true, he’s really violent,” Naruto agreed.

“Isn’t like every important woman in your life a little bit violent?” Ino pointed out.

“Oh… wow, yeah. So I guess violence equals femininity equals Sasuke?”

I kicked him again.

“OW!”

Somehow I ended up going with the girls into town. It was probably because they offered to buy me drinks.

“Hey, it’s Konoha’s two first ladies,” Temari said with a grin when she saw Ino and I. She looked like she was already a few drinks in.

“The next person who refers to me as a female will die,” I said flatly.

“Have a drink, Uchiha,” Temari said, putting a beer in my hands.

I glared at her, but drank it anyway.

“Still no first lady in Suna?” Ino asked, slinging an arm around my shoulder.

I eyed her warily.

“Gaara’s married to the village,” Temari said.

“I think he and Jugo would make a cute couple,” Karin mused.

“…what…?” I said.

“I dunno, they’re both asexual little weirdos.”

“Ha, they so are,” Temari said.

“Why do women have to pair everyone off?”

All of the girls glared at me.

“What?” I complained.

“Why did we invite him?” Ino murmured.

“Because he’s cute,” Karin said. “Give him another drink.”

“Who the hell is cute?” I growled, accepting the drink and taking a long swallow.

The girls mostly talked about politics and weaponry, interspersed with romantic gossip.

It wasn’t so bad. At least I was drunk.

“Kakashi and Gai are not getting it on,” I said, waving my drink around. “Kakashi is out of Gai’s league.”

“Then why do they always act so weird when Sakura and I walk in on them somewhere? Like they were caught in the act.”

“Were they caught in the act?”

“…no…”

“Maybe they were just having a private conversation.”

“About what?!”

“Ninja stuff. Private ninja stuff.”

“Like how they’re doinking?” Ino asked.

“They are not doinking!”

“We’ll see.”

“No one wants to see that!”

“Actually, okay, you’ve got me there.”

“I always thought Kakashi would go for Sakura,” Karin murmured.

Ino and I both gave her horrified looks.

“What?”

“You are off Team Taka,” I muttered into my beer.

“Like you could function without me.”

I stuck my tongue out at her.

All of the girls cracked up.

I looked at them sourly. I didn’t like them thinking that I was cute. I liked being fearsome and mysterious. It was proper and befitting of an Uchiha. Being cute… that was just about the opposite.

“So, Sasuke,” Temari said, leaning towards me. “What’s with you and Naruto? Are you fighting?”

“Why would we be fighting?” I asked, feeling defensive.

“Well, he’s obviously not getting any…”

Ino and Karin both covered their mouths, eyes wide.

I wished I hadn’t drunk so much. It was hard to school the emotion off my face. I was going for ‘blank mask’, but I think it came out more as ‘broken child’.

“You really are fighting?” she asked, softening.

“Girl, no,” Karin cut in. “Sasuke’s new psych meds-”

“You will not finish that sentence,” I growled, sharingan activated and ready-to-go.

“Oh,” said Temari. “Ohhh.”

I was embarrassed and angry.

“Sasuke, it’s not a big deal,” Karin said, ignoring my rage. “I don’t want to have sex with Suigetsu all the time, and I don’t even have a medical excuse for it.”

“Could it be because you’re dating Suigetsu?” Ino suggested with a snort.

“We’re not dating,” Karin said, taking off her glasses and wiping them on her shirt. “But okay, you have a point.”

“You’re not dating?” Ino asked, cocking her head to the side.

“We have an arrangement,” she answered clinically.

“Uzumakis have strange taste in men, hey?” Ino said, poking me in the stomach.

I was feeling slightly better now that Karin and Suigetsu’s ridiculousness had become the focus of the conversation, so I just scowled at her and went back to my drink.

Karin and Temari started talking about keeping their men in line, so I tuned out.

Ino patted me on the head, and I found myself leaning into her. I spent a lot of time with her and Sakura after Naruto… left. It was nice having her here, even though all I really cared about was seeing my nieces.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly.

“No,” I answered sharply.

“Okay, but we all want to talk about it,” Karin cut in.

“It’s true, I’m vaguely interested,” Temari agreed.

“Talk about your own sex lives,” I growled.

“We have been,” Karin said. “Now we’re bored of it and want to talk about yours.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“It was the subject of the most popular book series in the ninja world since Icha Icha.”

“That still doesn’t make it your business.”

“I have to share a wall with you. Do you know how many times I’ll be trying to fall asleep and all I can hear is, ‘oh, god, Naruto, yes, right there, yes, yes, yes!’”

I glared at her to cover up my blush.

“Karin, come on,” Ino said, giving me a worried glance.

“No way, Sasuke’s been sulking for months about this, but he doesn’t have the common decency to fill in all the details.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Karin, what would you like to know?” I asked, shooting death in her direction while staying cuddled with Ino.

“Well, first of all, since you’re the bottom, why don’t you two just have sex anyway?”

“Who the hell says I’m the bottom?!” I cried, turning redder.

“Um, my eyes, every time I’ve ever walked in on you,” Karin said, waving off my protest like it was ridiculous. “And also my ears, because have I mentioned, ‘ohhh, Narutooo, I want your big dick inside of meeee’?”

“I have never fucking said that,” I growled. Which was mostly true. “Fuck off,” I added for good measure.

The main reason I didn’t like talking about my sex life was because people made assumptions about things. Me taking dick seemed to equate to me being passive or feminine or some other kind of homophobic bullshit, when all it really meant was that I liked dick. It wasn’t like I never topped, but Naruto was such a baby about it with his ‘ow, oh my god, stop’ nonsense that it wasn’t particularly enjoyable for either of us.

“Sasuke, this might surprise you, but we all know that you’re gay,” Karin stage whispered.

“That’s not the issue!” I snapped. “I’m not the girl in the relationship.”

“No one said you were,” Karin said, rolling her eyes. “I said you were the bottom. Is that not the politically correct word? Do you prefer something else? The receiver? The penetrate-ee? Vestibule of the penis?”

“How about you don’t say anything at all?” I muttered, too embarrassed to even be angry anymore.

I realized that Ino was glaring at Karin over my head.

Temari was enjoying her cigarette.

I put both of my arms around Ino’s waist, resting my cheek against her full breasts. I didn’t understand the sexual appeal of boobs, but they were a very comforting place to rest my weary head.

Ino thumbed my cheek. “You drank too much.”

“I’m fine.”

“Sure you are.”

“Karin’s being mean to me.”

“A little bit, yeah.”

“I’m not being mean!” Karin interjected. “I just don’t want to watch you keep spiraling.”

“I’m not spiraling! Why does everyone think that I’m losing it? I haven’t heard a voice in my head for months!”

“So you’re not depressed? You’re not feeling distant from Naruto? You’re not upset that you can’t go to Konoha and see Yurina and Tsubaki whenever you want? You’re not anxious about Suigetsu restarting the Swordsmen of the Mist and leaving the Land of Wind behind?”

“That last one is stretching it,” I muttered. “And I’m not depressed, I’m just… empty.”

“That doesn’t sound any better.”

I finally sat up, fumbling for my beer. It tasted suspiciously watery.

“Sasuke.”

“Fine. I get it. You’re right. Everyone’s always right.”

“I don’t want to be right, I just want you to take care of yourself.”

“And I want to not be a fucked-up mess, but that never seems to work out.”

“Sasuke.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Well I figured if we talked a little, maybe you could figure out what you need for yourself.”

I stared at her like she was an idiot.

“Or something,” she added helpfully.

“You just want entertainment,” I muttered, finishing my drink despite the lack of taste.

“Yes, that, too.”

I smiled a little. It probably looked like a grimace. I appreciated Karin’s honesty. It made her more tolerable to me.

Ino handed me another beer. It also tasted suspiciously watery, but it relaxed me.

“I didn’t think I’d ever even want to have sex in my life,” I mumbled, lighting a cigarette.

Temari gave me a funny look, but Ino and Karin nodded knowingly.

“Go onnn,” Karin encouraged.

“I’m done.”

“But it was just getting juuuuicy.”

“How is admitting to not wanting to have sex juicy?”

“Because then you became a total manwhore.”

“I think sex is repulsive,” I said. “And dirty.”

“Isn’t that why it’s great?” Karin asked with an easy smile.

We all cringed.

I rested my cigarette against my mouth, fingers brushing my lips. I waited, then took a drag. I held the smoke in my lungs, blowing it out slowly. “I guess what I want to say is that sex has never been sex with Naruto. It’s the only time that we don’t fight. Despite what you’ve read, obviously. And it’s the only time we can both just completely shed these personas we have to wear all day. It’s an important part of our relationship, and it’s been taken away from me, and I don’t know how to fill that loss. So yes, I’m having trouble adjusting, but I’m not falling apart, and can you all just kindly fuck off?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Temari said with a shrug.

“Consider me fucked,” Karin said.

I grimaced.

“Wait, wait, so if sex with Naruto isn’t sex, then what exactly is it?” Ino asked, getting a lecherous look on her face.

“Don’t repeat any of this to the idiot,” I said, trying to glare her into submission.

“But it was getting so poetic!” Ino said. “Too bad Hinata isn’t here. I think she’s starting to run dry on fresh material.”

That moved the topic of conversation away from me.

We all crashed at Temari’s, and headed home the next morning.

“Hey, Sasuke,” Ino said as we walked. “I’m only gonna be here a couple more days, but I was thinking maybe we could go out to dinner with the girls?”

“I’ll stay with the kids,” Karin put in.

“Sure,” I said, looking between them. It seemed like they’d already planned it.

“And after dinner, why don’t we stay at that hot springs hotel at the edge of town?” Ino continued

I could appreciate how they were trying to be subtle while at the same time completely failing at it. I wanted to say something snippy, but I decided to be gracious instead. “That would be nice.”

“Okay, we’ll have to ask Naruto which day is good for him,” Ino said, giving me a wink and taking my arm.

“Yeah,” I said. “…thanks.”

Ino stood up on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek.

- 4 -

I shifted on my elbows, staring at the decorative hotel headboard. It was gaudy, and awful, and I hated it.

“Nothing, Sas’?” Naruto asked from behind me.

I sighed.

“You want me to… keep going?”

“No.”

“I don’t mind.”

“I’m so glad you don’t mind eating my ass.”

“Well I don’t.”

“Just stop already.”

Naruto sat back, leaning tiredly on his arms.

I continued to stare at the godawful headboard.

“C’mere.”

“No.”

“How can I love on you if you’re all the way over there?”

“Don’t come anywhere near me with that ass mouth.”

Naruto let out a long-suffering sigh and got up. I heard him gargle in the bathroom before he came back, lying next to me and pulling me over to him. “There are other ways to be intimate.”

I took one look at his exhausted face and held in all my snips and sarcasm. “Yeah,” I said, touching his face.

Naruto grinned, rubbing his nose against mine.

I felt like shit.

Naruto was focused completely on me. I knew that he was stressed out beyond belief, with the daimyo of the Land of Water threatening to stockpile bombss, and the raikage refusing to sign the new peace treaty in light of all the protestors against Naruto and Sakura’s reforms. It seemed like the whole world was turning against him. Then there were the other everyday problems, like the separation from his children, or his mentally insane partner.

But Naruto put all of that aside, kissing me adoringly and asking, “What can I do for you, my gorgeous boy?”

“No.”

“My handsome gentleman caller.”

I snorted. “No.”

“My Sasuke?”

“Fine.”

“Heh. Mine,” he said, smothering me in affection.

“Yours,” I said quietly, threading my fingers with his. “Mine,” I added, bringing his fingers to my lips.

“Always,” he said. His lips turned up in the softest smile.

I curled into his chest so I wouldn’t have to look at him.

Naruto started humming to himself, stroking my hair and pushing chakra through his fingers.

I rested my hand on his chest, pushing back.

“Hey, since we’re already naked and all, wanna take another bath?” Naruto asked suddenly.

“We already took one…”

“Hence the ‘another’. We’re here at this nice hot spring, might as well enjoy it.”

“That’s not what you want to do.”

“Yeah, it is. That’s why I suggested it.”

“Naruto,” I said, putting a tingle into the chakra I was pushing into him.

He gasped, eyes going half-mast.

“Why don’t you do what you want to do?” I suggested, kissing his jawline.

He tilted my face up, eyes crinkled with confusion. “I am doing what I want to do. I’m spending time with you.”

“Ugh.”

“Don’t ‘ugh’ at me!”

“Let’s fuck, okay? Let’s just fuck.”

“I would love to, but you know. It’s hard for me to keep it up when you’re acting like a dead fish.”

I stared at him, trying to comprehend being called a ‘dead fish’.

“I told you, it’s okay. We can be intimate in other wa- holy shit, what are you doing.”

“Sucking your dick,” I said, staring up at him from between his legs.

“You don’t have to-”

“Shut up!”

Naruto blew air into his cheeks, keeping quiet.

“I want to do this for you. I want to. And you want me to, too, right?”

He hesitated.

I breathed on him.

He started nodding his head vigorously.

“Then just be quiet and enjoy.”

Naruto nodded again.

I circled him with my hand, gripping lightly as I lowered my head.

“Oh, fuuuuck,” he breathed out, grabbing my shoulder. I felt his claws cut into my skin.

I waited until our eyes met, his gone red, and then I moved. I knew what Naruto liked, knew where to touch and how to use my tongue.

It had been a while, and Naruto didn’t stand a chance.

He forced my face into him as he came. “Holy shit.”

“You needed that.”

“Yesss,” he breathed out, petting the hair soothingly that he had been yanking.

“So all that bullshit about there being other ways to be intimate?”

“Lies. Complete and utter lies.”

“At least you’re finally being honest.”

“I… yeah… Okay, not having sex sucks.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Uh, yes, it actually is.”

“Would it make you feel better if I blamed you?”

“…yes…” I said quietly.

“Fine, it’s all your fault. You better blow me ten times a day to make up for it.”

“Ten?”

“Or eleven if you’re up to it.”

I stared at him.

Naruto smiled, touching my cheek. “This was what I needed, sweetie, thank you so much.”

“You’re thanking me for a blow job?”

“Yes. That should tell you something about the quality of your services,” he said, pulling me up to him so we could kiss.

Naruto never cared if I had a mouthful of come.

We kissed and cuddled for a while, before I decided I couldn’t stand it anymore and went to get ready for bed.

Naruto followed. He grinned at me in the mirror as we both brushed our teeth. He looked… lighter, happier.

It made me feel like shit.

Sometimes I wondered why he didn’t just leave me. I knew that he could now. I pushed him to it. Before I tried to kill myself, he would never have left. But I just kept pushing, trying to find the limit.

I think our relationship was still alive because of that limit. But it also made me feel insecure sometimes. Like now. Because Naruto could do better, so why didn’t he?

“Don’t make that face,” Naruto said, poking me in the side. “What else can we do with our kid-free night? Oh, I know! Let’s watch a movie! With swearing and sexual content!”

“Wow, Naruto, you really know how to go all out.”

He stuck out his lower lip at me. “When do we ever get to just watch a movie together?”

“Whatever,” I said, stepping back into the room. “Pick out one that doesn’t suck.”

“Of course!”

We cuddled together in our hotel robes, watching a terrible action movie that Naruto insisted wouldn’t suck. I didn’t really care. It was fun to needle him.

I tried to keep the self-doubt at bay.

It was suffocating.

#fanfiction #narusasu #isola post traumatic

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