#where I wrote a parody song ‘you don’t know what you’re breathing’ and it was peak and I still remember some of the lyrics | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hadleyforte · 4 years ago

Text

five fat turkeys → hadall

TAGGING → Hadley Forte & Kendall Andersen (@kendallandersen)

TIMELINE → Friday, November 20, 2020

SETTING → ASU Music Hall Piano Room

SUMMARY → Hadley and Kendall share a moment during his last piano lesson before Thanksgiving break.

Hadley had listened to her classmates' excited chatter about Thanksgiving for weeks now, but she hadn't felt any Thanksgiving cheer of her own until she'd stumbled across a list of ten Thanksgiving songs for kids to learn on the piano. Most of her classmates would be leaving for the holiday break the next morning, Kendall Andersen included, but she'd taken a shot in the dark and texted him anyway, wondering if he'd want to join her for one last piano lesson before he headed home to his family. She was probably more delighted than was strictly necessary when he agreed to come meet her instead of spending his last night with other friends instead. Teaching him her favorite instrument had been one of the high points of her semester, and the look on his face every time he successfully got through one of her lessons left her smiling for hours even after he was gone. Maybe Thanksgiving on ASU campus wouldn't feel so crummy, as long as she could imagine Kendall having a great holiday at home, showing off his new talents in the form of one of the silly songs she wanted to teach him. Hadley spread the sheet music for the songs out on the piano as she waited, idly trying them herself while she waited for Kendall to arrive.

Kendall had been so excited to get a text from Hadley the night before the holiday break. Learning piano with Hadley had been great and he'd been hoping to show his family the progress he'd made with her, so one last rehearsal before heading home for Thanksgiving was perfect. With a huge smile on his face, Kendall made his way to the music room where Hadley had been helping him all semester; his smile grew when he heard some notes coming out of the room, since it meant she was already there. "Hey, Hadley!" he greeted with a raised hand, hurrying over to where she sat and sitting next to her, wrapping her up in a big side hug for a moment. "Thanks so much for this! I actually wanted to message you too, but you beat me to it," Kendall admitted. "I'm really glad we get to have one more of these before I go home. You're the best music teacher I've ever had. And one of the coolest friends." He leaned over and bumped his shoulder against her. "So, Ms. Forte, what do you have for me today?"

Between Kendall's enthusiastic greeting and his confession that he'd wanted to reach out to her, too, Hadley felt her cheeks heating up slightly. That seemed to be a recurring thing around him; it had started in the dim firelight at camp, and hadn't stopped back at ASU, whether they were dancing at a crowded masquerade or just sitting side by side on a piano bench like this. Those thoughts were distracting, though, and she'd fought too long to push them out of her head to let them take over now. "I'm glad you were up for it! I found a couple of really cute beginner Thanksgiving themed songs; I thought it would be fun for you to play them for your family when you're home, if you wanted to. More festive than just 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,' you know?" she said excitedly, gesturing towards Five Fat Turkeys Are We and Hooray, Thanksgiving Day! sitting before them. "If I'd found them sooner I would have made the five fat turkeys for you to take home, too, but well... you have way more camp skills under your belt than I do, I'm sure if you wanted props you could make them yourself!"

Kendall took off the jacket he'd been wearing and let it fall to the side of the bench as he listened to Hadley start talking. He never would've thought to look for Thanksgiving songs, but that was one of the benefits of having a friend that was so smart and creative. "That's such a great idea, Hadley! Don't get me wrong, I stan 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star', it was one of my first favorite songs, but these look perfect." He took in the sheet music and laughed a little at the title Five Fat Turkeys Are We, but he was quickly distracted by the idea of making five fat turkey props. "It's okay, I suck at packing so my suitcase is full anyway. There wouldn't be room for five fat turkeys but that sounds so cute! Maybe we can start picking out a Christmas song when we get back from back and make props together!" Kendall suggested animatedly, already trying to think of what would be the most fun to make. Rudolph? A partridge in a pear tree? He was getting ahead of himself, though. He always did that, and he forced himself to focus on the moment. "Um, which of these songs is your favorite? I want to learn to play the one you like most."

"Twinkle Twinkle Little Star's a classic for a reason," Hadley agreed, buoyed by how excited he was about something so simple. She really needed people like Kendall in her life, to remind her to be excited more often. There were so many good things around her; getting too bogged down in stress would make her miss them. "And we could have totally changed the words to, I don't know, Gobble Gobble Big Turkey or something... but now we don't have to," she beamed, placing the Five Fat Turkeys song in the front. It was lighter and sillier, and it felt more right for someone who seemed as effortlessly happy as Kendall. "And I can help you pack for Christmas! Unless that's weird because like, well... of course it's weird, you have to pack underwear and things like that. But I'm really organized and could help you fit everything, once you hide like... anything embarrassing," Hadley volunteered, ducking her head to hide her blush. It was so easy for her to write herself as being smooth and calm when she wrote her stories, but actually being those things in real life, when she was so close to him she could breathe in his comforting vanilla-rosemary scent? That was another story entirely. "I have a feeling hearing you successfully play them will make either one a proud teacher's brand new favorite song... But we'll start with the turkeys, how does that sound?" she asked, bumping her shoulder against his lightly as encouragement. "I'm sure you can tell me what the first note is, because you're an A+ pupil... but I can also show you, if you want," she volunteered gently, always willing to accommodate whatever learning style he was in the mood for that day.

"Gobble, gobble, big turkey," Kendall sang as closely to the notes to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star as he could before giggling a little bit. "I'm glad we don't have to but honestly? That doesn't sound bad, you just came up with that on the spot?" Maybe he was a little bit easily impressed, but it was more than that -- Hadley was just impressive. It was hard not to find everything she did clever and funny and creative and smart. And nice, too. She was so nice for even offering to help him with this in the first place, or to help him do other stuff, like pack. His face flushed at the mention of his undergarments and he shook his head, laughing a little. "It's not that weird! It's a nice offer, really. And I don't have that many embarrassing things, I promise. I don't want to ask you to do stuff like pack my suitcases but I usually end my packing sessions by jumping on the suitcases just to zip them closed and if you can help me avoid that, well, I'd owe you one." How was Hadley so nice when he was just so awkward? It would've been embarrassing if he wasn't so excited to get to learn a new song. "That sounds great," he said, keeping scooched in right next to her after she bumped against him. It was kind of comforting, feeling the steadiness of a presence next to him, especially when he was only mostly sure what the first note was. It was just so easy to doubt himself and he didn't want to guess just in case he was wrong, because he didn't want Hadley to feel like she'd been wasting her time. "I'd love it if you showed me," Kendall admitted with a grateful smile.

Hadley nodded her head bashfully. If only Kendall knew all the crazy things she thought of off the top of her head... but that would scare him away, and she wasn’t ready for that yet. The more she got attached to him, the more she had a feeling she wouldn’t be ready for that ever , but those were the thoughts of a girl who planned her life out entirely too much and forgot to live in the moment. She didn’t want to do that now, not when this moment involved the sweetest boy she’d ever met and that smile that made her stomach feel a little too fluttery. “If nothing else I could sit on the suitcase for you so you don’t have to sit and zip at the same time,” Hadley promised, giggling at the mental image of him belly flopping onto his luggage. “Or you could just borrow some of my luggage and pack extra; it’s not like I ever really leave ASU,” she added with a shrug. She was fine living vicariously through friend’s holidays and movies and books; it only made her sad if she thought on it too long, and with the way her brain moved a million miles a minute, she could usually forget about it quite quickly. Right now she had music, and Kendall, and once he was gone at home, well, the music would still be there, at least. “Of course!” Hadley smiled sidelong at him before gently resting her fingers on the keys, letting them glide from note to note as she played the short song for him without singing the silly words that went along with it just yet.

"That's so cool," Kendall laughed, shaking his head and making a mental note to try to write a full parody version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to perform for Hadley when they came back from Thanksgiving break. It was kind of silly but the idea sparked joy so he hoped it would spark joy in Hadley too. After all, making a girl who'd be willing to sit on his luggage for him smile was kind of the least he could do. "That would honestly make it so much easier! I'm so not flexible enough to lie down on something and zip around it at the same time. I once accidentally zipped my sweater into the zipper, so, if I can avoid that, I'll be a happy man." His growing smile plateaued for just a second at the thought of Hadley staying at school for the holidays. Somewhere in his brain, he must've known that was the case. She wasn't his only friend from the Isle, of course, and where else would these kids without family go? Still, it pulled at his heart harder than he expected it to. He was kind of glad they were turning to focus on the music for a moment because he'd had to really choke down the reflex to ask Hadley if she was okay with not having anywhere to go, and if she wanted to talk about it, and getting into a serious and potentially depressing conversation wasn't why they were here. Maybe when she taught him the song, he could treat her to a late night coffee to thank her and ask her if she wanted to talk. Maybe he'd even invite her home…

But that would have to wait. Right now, he just wanted to prove to Hadley that he'd picked up some talents over their time together. Watching her play the notes so easily was both intimidating and inspiring, and when she finished, he clapped his hands together for her. "Okay," he said softly, rubbing his cold hands together for a second before putting his hands on the keys in front of him. He gave her a nervous smile before trying the song out. He played it slower than Hadley had, and not as gracefully, but he thought he hit all the notes right at least, enough to smile proudly at her when he was done. "I think I messed up the rhythm in the middle there but I hit the notes so...yay?"

Hadley held her breath as she watched Kendall play the song back for her. It was so impressive, how quickly he picked it up, with only a slight hiccup in the middle. "No, no, it was so good," Hadley promised him, a proud smile on her face when he had finished. "It wasn't perfect, but the best things in life aren't. If things were perfect on the first try, that would be so boring," she informed him matter of factly, bringing her hands back up out of her lap, ready to play with him. "That part in the middle's tricky anyway. Do you want to try it again? I can help guide you through it, until your hands get used to the motion," she offered. Perhaps she should have hesitated a bit more, waited for a response from Kendall, but he'd been so good at trusting her and her teaching methods so far that she thought nothing of it as she rested her hands atop his, small fingers lined up with his longer ones as she instructed, "Starting from the fifth line, ready when you are?"

Kendall hung his head sheepishly, but he couldn't hide the smile that Hadley's words brought. "One thing's for sure, I definitely couldn't have done even that when we first started. And if I'd been perfect our first lesson, this might not have continued, which would have been too bad." He was about to ask her to promise she'd still make time to play with him when he didn't need her help anymore but he held it back. It was a moot point anyway, he wouldn't ever get too good to need Hadley. Like everything else he tried, music was something he loved but it wasn't his Thing. That didn't mean he didn't want to try though, so when Hadley offered, he nodded. He didn't fully grasp what she'd meant when she said 'guide you through it', so the touch of her fingers on his surprised him, but not in a bad way. Just in a way that made his face warm and made him curse his more hopelessly romantic nature. Kendall had an issue with imagining sparks wherever a pretty smile and a kind heart and a good person and the tossing and turning of his stomach popped up. Heck, once upon a time he'd convinced himself that love-averse Claudine was an option, which was a clear sign that he sucked at this kind of thing. He thought he'd gotten better at it in more recent times but more and more sparks came up every time he and Hadley hung out. It had started at camp and followed him through every lesson, every text, every dance at the Halloween ball, and now, when her hands rested on his so comfortably. She probably had no idea that her easy contact sent such electricity down his arms, and she probably wouldn't like if she knew. Swallowing that down, he smiled and said, "Let's do it," before letting his fingers start moving. He took the first note but from then on it really felt like a team effort, to the point where he wasn't sure who was really leading, until they got to the end. He turned to her excitedly and laughed. "Is it just me or was that really good?!"

Kendall had a way of disarming her, of making her feel completely at ease with his warm smiles and his kind words. Maybe that was why it was so easy for Hadley to giggle and admit, "Teaching you became one of my favorite things to do from our very first lesson. Even if you had been perfect, I probably would have pretended you weren't, just so we could hang out more." Oh, God . That was so embarrassing of her to say that, but it was the truth. He was always so earnest, and always made her feel so special without even trying; the least she could do was make sure he knew the sentiment was returned, and tenfold, at that. When they'd first started hanging out at camp, she'd tried to hold herself back from feeling too much, knowing Claudine was so fond of him and not wanting to step on her friend's toes, but lately... Well, it had been harder and harder to fight the fact that she liked Kendall quite a bit more than she liked the average person. Thankfully, it seemed that Claudine's affections were directed elsewhere lately; it made her feel less guilty for the way her heart stuttered at the feel of their hands linked together on the keys, and definitely less guilty for the way her body was buzzing with nervous energy as they moved farther down the keyboard and she found herself having to scootch ever closer to him. "That was amazing," Hadley agreed breathlessly, keeping her hands resting on top of his, soaking up the warmth even though their song was done. "We're kind of an amazing team, huh?" she asked, jolting slightly when she realized that her face was much closer to his than it had been when they'd started, nearly as close as it had been when she'd been dancing with him at the Halloween ball and found her thoughts wandering into thinking it felt almost romantic to her. That was crazy, though; just because she felt like she was maybe allowed to like Kendall now didn't mean that he'd like her, too. He was just being his usual sweet self, and Hadley cleared her throat, finally bringing her hands back to her lap. "Do you want to try it on your own now? I can sing along, so it's still a team effort!"

It was good to hear that Hadley got joy out of these piano lessons just like he did, and it made warmth spread all over Kendall's chest. "We would've hung out more anyway," he promised, trying not to think that her confession reminded him of a thought he'd had at their last lesson, that even when he got better, he might pretend he hadn't just for more of this. More of laughing together over a piano and finding happiness in music together, of the little butterflies he felt when their fingers grazed or when her side was pushed against his. She came even closer as they played and he found himself grateful that she didn't scooch away once they were done. Physical touch was one of his big love languages, so being so close to her definitely made him feel like they were a united force. "We're the definition of an amazing team!" he assured her, his thumb briefly searching for Hadley's index finger atop his own to rub it a little bit in silent assurance. He made himself quickly stop though, because that was probably way too intimate, especially with how close their faces were now. He swallowed but found it hard to look away until he pulled her hands back, and he cleared his throat too with a nervous laugh as he looked back at the sheet music. "I'd love if you sang along," he agreed, waiting for a second before starting the song again, a little faster than his first try but still not as fast as it ought to go. Hadley had such a pretty voice and it was all so fun that he couldn't help himself from quietly joining in after she sang the intro. They really were a good team. He'd never thought he was a particularly good singer but his voice sounded like a nice soft background for hers, and he loved it.

For so long, Kendall had felt like such a separate entity to her, someone who was Claudine's friend and not really hers. She was so glad that had changed, but it was a little bit scary sometimes, too. It was entirely too easy for Hadley to understand why her friend was so fond of this wonderful boy; it was obvious in the way her brain got carried away the second he said they would have hung out more anyway, even without the piano lessons. She could picture it too easily; sitting across the table, staring into his eyes too long at nice dinners; walking across campus, maybe even hand in hand; cuddling up to him watching movies, or just staying up late talking to him about anything and everything; dancing, wearing matching costumes like they had on Halloween, only this time on purpose... Hadley had a feeling her cheeks were flushing red again just thinking about it, and she was glad for the song to distract her. Singing about five fat turkeys couldn't possibly be romantic... And yet, when the words were done, Hadley let Kendall repeat the song instead as she made up a next verse on the fly, anything to stay close to him, their hands brushing as he played, her eyes drifting from his hand back up to watch how cute his face was when he was concentrating on getting the song right... "Five fat turkeys are they," Hadley giggled, hoping she didn't confuse him too much by creating more of the song. "They played piano all day... When they gobbled along, people loved their song, and they're friends not food that way." It was a ridiculous attempt, but Hadley had a feeling Kendall would appreciate it. The fact that he always seemed to, no matter what it was she was doing, was part of why she kept gravitating towards him... like now, when she realized her face was close to his again at the song's close. This time, though, she didn't turn back to the piano; instead, she just smiled softly, not wanting to break their gaze.

The song was silly and the lyrics were borderline ridiculous, so it was even more ridiculous of Kendall to be feeling all fluttery, right? It was a testament to how much work they'd done on piano since summer that he was able to keep playing even though every time they accidentally brushed hands his face got a little bit warmer and his heart beat a little bit faster. At least it helped his playing speed up. Hadley's singing also helped him keep tempo, but he was more interested in the words she was singing than the tempo she was singing them. The words she was singing weren't coming from the sheet music -- she was making it up on the spot! And it was so good! "Oh my gosh!" he laughed, a huge smile on his face as he was visibly awed, once again, by her talent. "That's brilliant!" Which it was. It was also funny and clever and made him smile like crazy, just like Hadley herself; it was weird, but it made him feel special by association to be someone she made time for, someone she gifted with her brains and laughter and charm. And right now, it was so easy to imagine being the guy who could play piano while she came up with her unique songs. Maybe if he got better, they could do this more often. Maybe they could go to open mic nights, or karaoke, or maybe some day they could go to his house and show his parents... and wow, as always, he was getting ahead of himself, but that was so easy to do with Hadley. He'd always known she was pretty and talented, but the more he got to know her, he kept finding more and more things to like and it was getting him flustered. It also somehow kept getting him much closer to her face than he'd expected. "You're brilliant," he added, quieter now that they'd stopped playing piano. His eyes flickered down to take in all of Hadley's face before he could help himself. They were about this close when they were dancing together at the Halloween Ball, and on that day, he'd wondered if the warmth in his cheeks and the fluttery feelings in his stomach meant that something like a kiss might be a good idea. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't thinking about it right now too. She was probably just being nice and he was taking it all out of proportion, but it really did feel like something might be happening and he let himself get closer to her a little bit; even if nothing happened, Kendall found himself unable to resist indulging in the sparks between them for just a little bit longer. Hadley smelled so nice, as always, and she was so pretty, whether it was from as far away as spotting her across the room at a ball or as close as they were now, the closest they'd ever been.

This moment somehow felt so entirely different from the sort of thing Hadley had ever experienced with anyone else, and yet oddly familiar when it came to Kendall. The more time she spent with them, the more they got closer and closer to... something, that she couldn't quite put a name on. Their faces had been this close at the Halloween ball, too, and the nearness of him had made her feel fluttery and dizzy and exhilarated. Then, though, they'd been in a crowded room full of people, where anyone could see... including Claudine, whose feelings had been unclear to her. But her friend had gone on a real, actual date with another boy and had a good time! That meant she didn't have to feel guilty for wanting this moment to turn into something more, didn't it? That she wasn't a bad friend, and she wouldn't be hurting anyone if she stopped wondering what it would be like to close the distance between them and actually did it? If she was half as brilliant as Kendall said she was, she'd stop running away from something that was right in front of her just because she was scared. The scariest things in life were usually the most important ones, after all, and Kendall had already become so important to her in such a short period of time. The more she learned about him, the more she wanted to know... and right now, she desperately wanted to know if kissing him in real life would be as great as it was in the occasional daydream she allowed herself. Before she could second guess herself any longer, Hadley tilted her head upwards, until the space between them no longer existed, and her lips were pressed gently to his.

Kendall had been planning on letting himself linger in Hadley's space a moment longer, just because it felt so good to be so close to her. He wasn't really sure how long they were looking at each other; it felt like no time had gone by at all, or like maybe Thanksgiving had passed them by and so had Christmas, and New Year's, and everything else. He couldn't remember the last time he'd let himself indulge in these butterflyish feelings, and it seemed like they got stronger the longer he stayed. It was so much tension that when Hadley's lips actually touched his, it felt like a huge sigh of relief. He couldn't actually believe this was happening, but he wasn't complaining. He'd been curious about what it would be like to kiss Hadley since the bonfires at summer camp and his curiosity had only grown more and more as he'd gotten to know her, and it was sweeter than he could've imagined. It was soft but sent static all the way down to his toes and back up again. He kept the kiss gentle as he closed his eyes and leaned in a little bit, his hand finding one of hers on the piano and lightly resting on top of her fingers. It probably wasn't the correct kissing technique to have a large smile spread across his face but he couldn't help it; he always smiled when Hadley was involved. He pulled back when he was just about out of breath, because he didn't know whether to open his mouth and breathe against her or what. "Umm... that was.... awesome," he said happily and softly. "Is... can we? Again? Or...?" He wasn't even sure if words was coming out of his mouth coherently or not but he hoped Hadley understood him. She always made it feel like she did.

Hadley had only been kissed one other time in her life, and there was simply no comparison between the two occurrences. Until right now in this moment, she'd thought all the silly over-the-top phrases she used in her fanfics were just exaggeration, but no. Kissing Kendall made it clear that things like fireworks, and tingling lips, and feeling like you were a puzzle that had found its missing piece were very real feelings. Maybe inadequate, even, for describing the bliss she experienced, to have him kissing her back, returning her action in a way that made her heart feel like it was flying right out of her chest. When he held her hand on the piano, she accidentally played a random note, but she was so lost in the way their lips fit together that she hardly even noticed. She would have been disappointed that the kiss ended if she hadn't been in need of a breath herself, and she giggled when he called it awesome. "So awesome," she agreed breathlessly, "Like, awesome doesn't even begin to do it justice." With anyone else, she might have worried she seemed too enthusiastic, that she was being over the top... But this was Kendall, and she was on too much of a high from the kiss to overthink. "I'd love to -- you know, again," she nodded emphatically, squaring her body fully towards him on the piano bench. She'd had more songs she'd wanted to teach him before he went home, but suddenly, she couldn't imagine possibly sitting beside him and focusing on music when she'd just be thinking about how badly she wanted to kiss him. It was the best feeling in the world, quite possibly the greatest experience of her short life, and she brought her hands up to rest on his shoulders this time as her eyes fluttered closed and she kissed him again, more confidently this time.

Kendall had not gone into today expecting to kiss Hadley -- in fact, he tried really hard never to go into any social interactions with any expectations that fell on the other person -- but now that it had happened, he just wanted it to happen again. He'd had moments in his life where he thought a kiss might be on the horizon but there were enough factors in his mind that kept him from going for it, and the other people had never taken the initiative either. Sometimes that left him feeling unwanted, like he just wasn't the guy people took chances on, but it was hard to think about that, or anything really, when Hadley's lips against his filled his body with too many good feelings. No matter what happened after this, Hadley was the girl who'd taken a chance on him. And that made him want to take chances back, like asking to kiss again, and he could scarcely believe it when she agreed. Maybe falling for somebody wasn't supposed to be filled with nerves that he was doing everything wrong, or that he was being selfish, or the crushing guilt that he wanted things the other person probably didn't; maybe it was meant to be as easy as kissing and liking it and kissing again. And again, and again. His hands came up to rest on her arms but they eventually found their way to her waist, like they were slow-dancing. They kissed and kissed and kissed until his head went light and his face almost hurt from smiling so much, but it was so nice, one of the nicest feelings he'd ever had. It was so nice, in fact, that he got lost in it, and eventually it was late, much later than he'd expected. He wouldn't have even noticed if it wasn't for the clock in the room but when he did, he pulled back reluctantly. "I uh... I have to go home and get some sleep. I'm leaving pretty early tomorrow and it's way later than I thought. Time flies when, you know, you're with someone that makes your heart happy," he smiled. "But that...you... thank you. For the song and everything else." The blood rushed back to his face, coloring it a warm pink as his hand mindlessly took hold of one of hers. "Can I walk you back to your dorm, maybe?"

It was hard to imagine that when this night had begun, Hadley had been sad about everyone leaving her here alone for the holidays, and worried that Kendall had better things to do with his evening than see her before he left. Instead, this had turned into a magical evening she’d never forget, complete with what she planned to count as her first real kiss... and second, and third, and more. Kissing Kendall was just as intoxicating as talking to him was, maybe even more so, and selfishly she wished they could stay right here like this forever. He was right, though; it had grown late, and he had places to be even if she didn’t. She felt lightheaded and giddy as he took her hand in his and walked her back to her dorm, like the real gentlemen she daydreamed about. It was nearly as romantic as kissing him had been, the way their fingers stayed intertwined the whole time as she chattered nervously about the five fat turkeys and how she couldn’t wait to hear about how his family reacted to his performance. There was more she wanted to say as they approached the dorm she shared with Claudine — things she wanted to ask, like what this meant for them and if it could happen again, the sooner the better. That might be asking for too much, too soon, though, and Hadley didn’t want to ruin her perfect night by asking and getting answers she might not like. Instead, as they reached her door, she wrapped her arms around his neck to steady herself as she pressed up on her tiptoes and kissed him again, lingering there as long as she could, savoring the taste of his lips and the floaty feeling that she had a feeling would stay with her the whole time he was home. “Happy Thanksgiving, Kendall,” Hadley told him, pulling him tight for one last hug before finally putting her hand on her door and twisting the knob to go inside and dream of him instead.

#para #para:fivefatturkeys #para:kendall #asukendall #kendallandersen #thanksgiving 2020

2 notes · View notes

citialiin · 5 years ago

Text

LITTLE CHARACTER THINGS

Just a fun little character game. Fill in the below categories with 3-5 things that your character can be identified by. Repost & tag away !

tagged by: @lupichorous ( ˘ ³˘)♥ i love u bun. so much. i went crazy for this meme and wrote way too much for the answers. tagging: @zhrets @gothsic @beiiadonna @talonness and .... you !! idk

EMOTIONS / FEELINGS:

001. Vanity -- like, aren’t you just better than everyone else ? Maybe its a weird delusion of grandeur or maybe you really are hand-selected by the universe to be more than your planet’s limitations (so you relocate !! )

002. Ambition -- you know what you’re capable of, so you don’t let anyone stop you from achieving. luckily for you, you’re good at everything.

003. Envy -- isn’t it frustrating to see human beings waste their potential and squander away all their years of life when you’ve accomplished more than any of them in four itty bitty years on earth ? they take this all for granted and they don’t even know how much worse things could be.

004. Hope -- but more than anything, things can change for the better if you want things hard enough. if you’ve made it this far, surely you have something to offer the planet earth. maybe a message of hope, of acceptance, of empowerment, of tacky glitter eyeshadow.

005. Innovation -- you’re a maverick !! you’re unlike any human -- or atominan -- the galaxy has ever unknown. and you love yourself despite all your oddities. other people ought to know that what makes them different makes them special.

GREETINGS:

001. Getting an expensive red guitar thrust into your hands as a real star walks off stage and ignores you. Be glad he lets you even touch his stuff !!

002. A quaint little kiss on the cheek; people did this in the first country he lived in, and even if they don’t do it that much here, the motion has stuck with him. people find it charmingly foreign.

003. A poised, perfect wave, followed by an almost mechanically perfect handshake, punctuated by exactly whatever a music journalist wants to hear.

004. Stuttering static through a translator not yet used to human words and linguistics -- with enough time and practice, he’ll get a hang of something other than the meekest, quietest ‘ hello. ’

005. A washcloth over his forehead, a stain of human colored pigment wiped clean. The shimmering mark, and undeniable proof of inhumanity, stands as a wordless way of explaining the depths of his trust.

COLOURS:

001. Glowing neon orange. Possibly best paired with a deep navy blue.

002. Mossy green, the very blood in his veins, liquid copper from a planet far away.

003. Glittering gold, like expensive jewelry, like the heel of his favorite black vinyl boots, like the strange mark that is undeniable proof of his star-flung origins.

004. Cherry red, the most inhuman shade of hair imaginable.

005. Chrome white walls, the barest pearly incandescence of a home left abandoned.

SCENTS:

001. The lingering stench of cigarette smoke left on clothes.

002. Alcohol on someone’s breath when they slur their words at you.

003. Hair spray -- enough to make your eyes water, but not enough to keep your ‘do from getting all fucked up on stage.

004. Cleaning products. These actually taste pretty good. You wonder why they make humans sick.

005. Green tea, without sugar. The bitterness settles your stomach when Earth food upsets it.

CLOTHING:

001. some ridiculous latex space suit with red and green stripes and giant flared shoulders, neon, cherry red platforms all the way up to your knees -- you wouldn’t look complete without an equally blinding red guitar and golden gloves, blue eyeshadow streaked across your face. your hoop earrings get a little distracting when they tangle in your hair, but when you obsessively watch your own concert footage, you find you like the way they catch in the stagelights. everything about you is over the top and excessive.

002. a tasteful suit well tailored to your slight figure, but suits are boring, so yours is bright red with a blue and yellow pattern crawling over the fabric, or perhaps a delicate powder blue with a nice red and white tie -- your heels hurt your feet, the enormous, single chandelier earring strains your neck and you can’t eat or drink for fear of ruining your lipstick, but one must suffer for fashion.

003. a mint green shift dress with some groovy pink flowers, with big orange drop earrings and white boots up to your knees -- you aren’t copying twiggy, she’s certainly been copying you.

004. pajamas. the aliens on your boxers are for irony and you’ve never seen that cartoon with the little purple and green square things, but human made perceptions about extraterrestrials are endearing to you. you don’t often dress down, but you can’t live your entire life in designer, even if you’d like to.

005. a black uniform with a high neck. it’s simple, fitted against your form, and the only suggestion of decoration is the little silver badge that designates your occupation. everything about this is built for practicality: silver boots with a low heel and a square toe, cloth gloves to keep you from getting fingerprints on the machines. you’ve got drawers and drawers of this exact same outfit; you’ve worn the same thing every day since you graduated out of your last identical uniform.

OBJECTS:

001. a cherry red guitar perched in a stand. your signature.

002. a silver bracelet. someone you love has its twin, and luckily for you, it goes with every outfit, so you wear it every day.

003. a little tube of concealer, as ghostly olive white as your strange complexion. you wouldn’t go anywhere without it, lest you need to fix your make up, hide your mark, keep your secret.

004. a silver spoon -- it’s an accessory to your worst vice, and despite its harmless appearance, it’s seen you at your lowest point, some mocking reflection of the wash up you’re petrified you’ll become.

005. a strange device that looks like a tablet. the language on it is beyond any humans comprehension and it contains enough data to stump even the most seasoned astronomers -- but you take it for granted, and you’re sick of looking at it.

VICES / BAD HABITS:

001. OVERINDULGENCE, you drink to excess and you smoke a pack and a half a day and you spend money like it grows on trees -- nothing, no luxury, no drug, no material object could ever fulfill the strange little crack you have in your heart, the longing for something that you cannot quite articulate.

002. SELFISHNESS, not just with things -- with the egregious amount of money you have, you’re actually rather generous. once upon a time, this selfishness led you to innovation, to self-expression, to creativity, but now it manifests in the way you treat people, the way you look down on everyone else and deem them expendable, objects for you to use and discard at your leisure. the universe bends to your whims or you throw a righteous tantrum.

003. ENVY, you’ve lived a life few could ever dream of and yet you scowl and stomp your feet that you don’t get what you want -- no matter how much you preach about loving your eccentricities and individuality and the power of the outcast, you wish you were a human, a real one, it eats you alive to think that you’ll never have this one wish granted to you and no matter how much you fake it you’ll always be you, hiding, afraid, unhappy.

004. DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR, it’s a frantic ouroborous, how much you’re unhappy with your existence even when you are firmly convinced you are practically earth’s savior, the way you oscillate between hating yourself and loving yourself, the sole prodigal champion of the universe’s unfathomable destiny. before there was rock, humans only had god, and you are giving them a precious gift -- you are better than everyone for a reason.

005. NAIVETY, you -- for all you act like you do -- dont know much about this planet and how insidious it is. perhaps you have a feeling -- the slightest inclination -- but the full depth of just how terribly you’re being ruined by earth’s corruption is lost unto you. you are too easily beguiled and you see things far too plainly, black and white without shades of gray. humans are deceiving, humans are malicious, humans are not to be trusted the way you so eagerly and gleefully trust them.

BODY LANGUAGE:

001. a sneer -- it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? they always seem to take it as a smile no matter how poorly you think of them.

002. a cocked hip and square shoulders -- you didn’t always used to stand like this, but no one likes a timid rockstar, so you’ve learned to aggressively take up as much space as you know is owed to you.

003. calloused fingers across strings -- if you’re gonna talk the talk, you sure walk the walk, and you are objectively one of the most talented musicians this planet has to offer.

004. two-toned irises cast across the room -- you’re easily confused because there’s just so much to learn and understand, and you often play things by ear. so far, you’ve never fallen under too much suspicion, thanks to your quick thinking.

005. a hand creeping over the left side of your breast -- you often forget that that’s where humans keep their hearts, and yours is elsewhere. if you do this often enough, perhaps one day you’ll feel your heartbeat here instead.

AESTHETICS:

001. GLITTER GLAM. less is worse, more is better -- glitter eyeshadow and bright pink lipstick and mile high platform boots, stage shows that verge on theatrical productions and outlandish outfits changed at every song; gender is an accessory, and you discard it and redon it as you please. it’s parody -- it’s plastic -- it’s something else entirely, and it’s just as stupid and tacky as it is high art. you’re a funky psychedelic far out space freak and no one will get on your case for wearing a bell bottoms and a crop top because you’ll put your cigarette out on their hand.

002. MIDCENTURY MOD. you keep things groovy and you like a bit of retro with your futurism -- greens and baby pink and orange and blue, white gogo boots and shift dresses with your baby blue eyeshadow and frosted pink lipstick.

003. B-LIST SCIFI. mr spock’s green blood and little flying saucers and life, jim, but not as we know it. your band is named after war of the worlds and youve internalized humanity’s alien mythos to the point where you’ve replaced your own real, palpable existence with their movies, their novels, their paranormal paranoia. no one would understand that they’re the aliens, to you, and you’re just as petrified of them cutting you open on an operating table as they are of your kind coming to invade the earth.

004. A HINT OF ELDRITCH MACABRE. your blood is an ichorous green, verdant as malachite, and your festering, putrid organs would stump even the most seasoned of scientists -- you are proof of life not as we know it, made in their image but separate in every possible way. harmless as you are, he is not, and your four-eyed paramour from a planet of rot and decay is not as kind as you and your gentle clemency. space is vast -- space is limitless -- humans must look beyond their atmosphere if they are truly to grasp their insignificance in a cold, uncaring universe.

005. THE CHROME-WHITE FUTURE. the future is cold -- progress is aseptic -- science will make the world look like the jetsons. a white-roomed apartment, a bed with no blanket (unnecessary in a perfectly temperature controlled room), black uniforms with perfect silver trim, gestation tanks and pills to supplement limited diets. life is not for pleasure; life is pragmatic.

SONGS / PIECES:

001. the entire ziggy stardust album, duh ── david bowie

002. evening wear ── mindless self indulgence

003. cartoons and vodka ── jinkx monsoon

004. kaun komsott ── ros sereysothea

005. id engager ── of montreal

#hilariously half these answers are written in third person and some of them are inexplicably written in 2nd person #it took me like 2 weeks to do this meme man i dunno #just weird sad ziggy feelings i guess #ooc #KEEP YOUR 'LECTRIC EYE ON ME ; queue

6 notes · View notes

ladyhistorypod · 4 years ago

Text

Episode 8: I’m Holding out for a She-ro

Sources:

Ida Lewis

Thought Co

Atlas Obscura

Smithsonian Learning Lab

Archive.org

Traditional Music

Further Listening: “The Memory Palace”, “The Eyes of Ida Lewis” by Reg Meuross

Selena Quintanilla-Pérez

Smithsonian Insider

National Portrait Gallery

PBS: Latin Museum USA

CNN

Biography(dot)com

20/20

National Museum of American History

Sábado Gigante

Interview

Further Reading: To Selena, With Love

Rose Valland

Rape of Europa (documentary)

Monuments Men Foundation

The Collector

WideWalls

Statue “of” Rose Valland (image)

Attributions: Airplane Seatbelt Beep, Sailor Song, Spanishy Guitar Thing (that’s the actual name of the file), French Horn Sounds, Trio for Piano Violin and Viola

Click below for a transcript of today’s episode!

Alana: We were talking and I was giving Lexi like things that she could cut from episode six and I was like you can cut just like most of me talking and let someone else… give them, give everyone a break from my voice. And then Lexi was like you're our fearless leader though and I was like no. I'm scared of everything and I just love listening to myself talk, that's what the deal is here, that's what's happening.

Lexi: The fear doesn't come across. So.

Alana: Oh that's good. I wasn’t on TikTok because I don't go on TikTok because I don't have a TikTok because I don't get it. But I follow an account on Twitter that just posts all of Hank Green’s TikToks. Apparently there's like some dance challenge, I bet, or something, I’m making an assumption, where you like put on your shoes or something, and I don’t know. I don’t know. But he was like leaning over doing something with his shoes and then he threw his shoe at the phone and yelled “do your homework” which I thought was very funny.

Haley: Are you gonna talk about Hank Green every episode?

Alana: Yes.

(Haley laughing)

Alana: I wish he was my dad!

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History: the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. It's time for my favorite Zoom meeting. Up in the top left corner is Lexi. Lexi, what's your superpower?

Lexi: My superpower is writing essays the night before they're due, not double checking them, submitting them, and then having the professor say wow you're a great writer.

Alana: And down at the bottom is Haley. Haley, what would your superhero name be and why is it Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots?

Haley: Ugh. I really, I had my super power all ready to go and you switched it up on me. Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots was something off of a whim. That was like a gut visceral reaction to my super power name. I guess I'll stick– I don't know why it's that long. I have a really long last name. I love short and sweet names. I hate that it’s Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots.

Alana: I need to– we need to like keep bringing it up so that we can have Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots merch someday.

Lexi: Please if you'd like to contact Haley write to our podcast.

Alana: We cannot stress this enough. Even if you don't have anything to say, send us a DM and just be like this is for Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots

Haley: This is why I can't speak freely and… I don't know. I can't have nice things because then I say crap like that.

Alana: And I'm Alana and I watch blockbuster superhero movies the way they were meant to be seen; on the tiny airplane screen on the back of the seat in front of me. Or at least I used to.

Haley: Alright. I have a question for you all. What is the definition of a she-ro?

Lexi: A hero who uses she/her pronouns?

Alana: I love that. I think I'm gonna second that. Yeah. I'm also gonna say like people who were overlooked. I know that's like our whole podcast is like people who were overlooked but… That's– that's how I feel.

Lexi: I'm holding out for She-ro.

Alana: Holding out for She-ro. Til… how does the song go I don’t even know.

Lexi: Til the end of the night.

Alana: Can I tell you the first time I heard that song?

Lexi: She’s gotta be strong and she’s gotta be tough.

Alana: The first time I heard that song.

Lexi (high-pitched): She’s gotta be fresh from the fight.

Alana: For reals.

Lexi (somehow even higher-pitched): I’m holding out for a she-ro!

Alana: For reals the first time I heard that song? Shrek 2. Dead serious.

Haley: Yeah. I think that’s… I think that’s the same for me too.

Lexi: No the first time you heard “Holding out for a She-ro” was right now when I wrote it. You may have heard a different song.

Alana: The original song. The original song.

Lexi: This is parody, therefore it's protected under parody law.

Haley: She-ro on the oracle that is Urban Dictionary has like two top definitions in their like first thing that comes up. The first one is a woman or man who supports women's rights and respects women's issues. The second is female hero, basically saying he as in hero and it's like Greek and Old English rooted words going into all that, we're not here for, it's not fun. The fun part is just how someone put in she-ro as an obnoxious word built off the word hero but in the same breath is like a man or woman who fights women's issues and then truly just like a whole mix of how this word’s obnoxious.

Lexi: Thoughts; I hate the term women's issues.

Alana: Me too.

Lexi: That makes me sick to my stomach.

Haley: Yeah I don't like it either.

Lexi: Second, let’s edit Urban Dictionary. My definition was better because I don't like either of those definitions.

Alana: Me neither.

Haley: There are like a whole host of definitions and that was me dwindling it down.

Lexi: Like the fact that it says female hero like that makes me upset because someone can be female and not use she as the pronouns that frustrates me.

Haley: Exactly.

Lexi: And then also I don't like the term women's issues that just doesn't sit well with me. You know, I don't like that.

Haley: Also I didn't think of like hero as like he I always saw it as H. E. R. so like her.

Alana: So that's why you said her-o in the original spreadsheet.

Haley: I also had a few drinks in me but that's neither here nor there.

Lexi: Also the feminine form of hero is heroine but then that sounds like drugs.

Haley: Yeah that's true, that's also true. Honestly I’d rather be a drug than like a woman. If it– women’s rights or like heroin’s rights

Lexi, laughing: In 2020 America, if you were a drug that was being sold by a pharmaceutical company, you would have more rights than a woman.

(Haley laughing)

Alana: Lexi leave that in.

Lexi: Oh hell yeah I will.

Alana, laughing: Oh god.

(Haley and Alana laughing)

Lexi: So our first she-ro today is Idawalley Zoradia Lewis who was born on February 25, 1842, and in 1854 her family moved to a little island called Lime Rock. It was off the coast of Newport, Rhode Island. The family made the move when her father became keeper of the lighthouse there, and living on a rock meant her and her three younger siblings needed to row a boat back and forth to school on the mainland each day, so Ida became a strong rower. She also learned to swim against really rough waves and so she was just all around really good in the water. In 1858, sixteen year old Ida rescued four young men. The group had been sailing when a strong wave capsized their boat near Lime Rock and Ida, by this time a well-practiced rower, rowed out to where the boys were struggling to tread water. She hauled all four of them aboard and brought them to shore. The event received very little publicity even though this sixteen year old girl saved four people. When Ida was in her teens, her father's health began to decline and he became wheelchair-bound, so Ida had to learn the skills needed to keep the lighthouse running so that her family can continue to run the lighthouse and receive an income. In 1869, a pair of soldiers were on a boat near Lime Rock during a snowstorm and the snowstorm turned their ship over. Ida, who was actually ill at the time, didn't even stop to put on her coat and went out to rescue the soldiers with the assistance of her younger brother. In recognition of her service at this time, President Ulysses S. Grant awarded her the Congressional Medal of Honor. Grant and his vice president visited Ida’s lighthouse to congratulate her and the story about the rescue was published in the New York Tribune. In 1872, Ida’s father unfortunately passed away and her mother briefly became the lighthouse keeper. In 1870, Ida became the lighthouse keeper because her mother was beginning to be sick. At one point, she was the highest paid lighthouse keeper in America. Her mother, who was now at this point very ill, eventually passed away in 1887. There is no written record of the exact number of people Ida saved, but accounts from the time estimate she saved at least eighteen people or possibly as many as thirty-six. Many national magazines acknowledged her for her great heroism and she became a household name in New England. In 1911, Ida is believed to have suffered a stroke. She died shortly after. The city of Newport flew their flags at half mast and thousands of fans came to Lime Rock to bid her farewell. After her death, the lighthouse was renamed Ida Lewis Lighthouse and Lime Rock was renamed Lewis Rock in honor of her 54 years of service. Lewis Rock is now home to the Ida Lewis Yacht Club. Though Ida’s actions and career were considered masculine and caused much debate during her lifetime, she was recognized as a heroine by many young women who admired her. She inspired girls, showing them women could be strong, and save men, something young women at the time likely did not see reflected anywhere else in their lives. And that's what makes her a she-ro.

Alana: I was literally today talking about when I was– when I was like 11 or something we did… my family did like a sort of driving tour of Cape Cod, Connecticut, and Rhode Island and I was literally talking about that trip with my mom on the phone today because it's Sunday, it's call your mother day. So I was like actually talking about Rhode Island today which is really interesting. Like what a weird coincidence. I didn't know anything about her. That's cool.

Lexi: She is a little-named person. She's not frequently mentioned, but she does appear in some historical books, sometimes. Like there's a book in the Smithsonian Libraries that is called like “Women Heroes of our Great Nation” and it's from like 1890-something, like during her lifetime, and it mentions her. And it has a cute little drawing of her rowing a boat.

Alana: Do you have a link to that in the show notes?

Lexi: I do not have that specific link, but I can give it to you and I will put– we’ll put it in the show notes. That link will be in the show notes. It's not yet but I will put it in there.

Alana: I have to see this drawing.

Haley: So this shero might come as a surprise because you might be like why did she save the day? But hopefully the story I tell will kind of steer you on that path. Selena Quintanilla-Pérez, or the queen of Tejano music, was one of the most iconic singers of the late 20th century and a trailblazer in Tejano music. I know I know the theme is “saved the day” and you're probably thinking why Selena? What did she save? Well I basically wrote half a page of this long winded story on why she saved the day in my middle school Spanish class, but honestly just Google the testimonies on how Selena changed the lives of so many people and you be the judge of this whole story. So let’s crack open this history book on Selena. Born on April 16, 1971 in Lake Jackson, Texas, her family wasn't originally from fame, but before fame she was a singer of her family's band Selena y Los Dinos, that worked weddings, fairs, and other venues along the US-Mexican border. And her father was also a musician back in the day, so not only did the kids get the musical talent from him but they also were trained and mentored by him. And you see a lot of the family influence come out and her music later. So funnily enough she grew up speaking English, not speaking Spanish but her father taught her how to sing in Spanish so she could connect better with the Latin American community. And in the HBO 1997 Selena movie with J. Lo you kind of see like how and why Abraham, her father, picked that. And she did learn to speak Spanish fluently because actually rose to fame she had to kind of be in interviews and a lot of these were Mexican broadcasting news organizations, which they were going to be asking and expecting her to answer in Spanish. So her rise to fame, she had to break so many barriers because of Tejano music, which is a style of music that fuses Mexican, U. S. and European elements together, was heavily male dominated. In 1990, her Ven Conmigo album was the first to Tejano album by a female artist to go gold, and in the following years songs like gonna Como La Flor, Bidi Bidi Bom Bom, Si Una Vez and others quickly made it to the top of charts and are still iconic songs. Even on the radio, a few days ago I listened to this. I was listening to some channel and Como La Flor came on and I was like “I'm doing her this is like a sign” because I really struggled to pick a shero. Through all this fame, she is noted as humble, caring, and overall a lovely girl who truly put her family, friends, and fans above her own happiness sometimes, and people would just comment on how great she was in interviews, just meeting her on the street, and even the HBO and other documentaries, movies, show that she was just a lovely lovely human. To pivot slightly she was most definitely a renaissance woman while continuing her musical career, she started a whole fashion experience. Her style overall was considered to be breaking bounds of toting the line between “sexy rebel” and “Mexican American good girl” and for those who do not know, she is most known for her bustiers, tight pants, and jackets. All these fashion icons were inspirations from her stagewear, which she made available to the public because she made those herself which I thought was pretty cool like all her stagewear is coming from her. Especially when they were just like a touring small band along the border, they would have to get creative and Selena would take charge in what everyone would wear on stage. The Smithsonian's National Museum of American History actually has one of the leather outfits she wore and I couldn't figure out if it was on display or not but they do have that and I believe other Selena artifacts and have done a lot of stuff of Selena which will all be on the show notes. She is also sometimes is referred to as “Mexican Madonna'' which I personally think is garbage for so many reasons because both of those females, women, ladies are their own identities and like her music doesn't sound like Madonna.

Alana: No. The only way that Selena is the Mexican Madonna, is if Madonna is the White Selena.

Haley: Yeah.

Alana: Like I would accept like either of those because I love flipping that script.

Haley: I saw that quote like “Mexican Madonna” too many times to not put it in and just be like this is a dumpster fire

Lexi: But like I think only similarity is the leather.

Haley: It’s like the leather and the bustiers, and the bustiers she would wear would be like bedazzled bras... so I was thinking like Madonna and the cone boobs. And it’s like, what, we're gonna call Katy Perry like...

Lexi: So many female singers dress like that

Haley: Yeah, so like I wish I was born, I was born right after #1997Baby because I would have totally gotten a leather jacket from Selena. Like when she did her whole public appearance, there are so many interviews of her talking about her clothing, and you see how passionate she is. She broke even more barriers when she became the first Tejano artist to win the Grammy for best Mexican-American album in 1994 and this was at the 36th Grammy Awards. Unfortunately, only a year after her Grammy win at the height of her fame she was murdered. At age 23 she was murdered by the president of her fan club, Yolanda Saldivar in Corpus Christi, Texas, and Yolanda was considered like her close friend, part of the family even though Abraham has been on record saying like he didn't trust her, especially when a lot of like paper trails of money going missing and just fans being like this is not right like I ordered this thing and this came instead or nothing came at all, where he was like “okay, why is Yolanda in our life, how did she come about?” and really Yolanda approached Selena and was like “I’m your number one fan, let me do all this stuff for you.” Once the money laundering and all the other like sketchy stuff was coming to light that's when she killed Selena with a gun. So there's a lot of info about like Yolanda and her head space for this and since she survived and Selena didn't obviously they use Yolanda. Like 20/20 did a whole episode interviewing Yolanda and there's a clip even where she is saying her conscience is clear, she didn't mean to kill Selena, and the murder was a complete accident and like she... I got the sense that she felt worse that she didn't commit suicide versus like murding Selena. Yeah, Alana is giving me that face. It was just such a horrible, horrible scenario. I got the sense that Selena went to confront her or told her dad that she’ll confront Yolanda, starting like “Hey, there’s a lot of sketchy, criminal activity coming out, and you are the president of my fan club, what is going on? I’m talking to you as my friend and I want to work this out with you.” Apparently Yolanda had a gun, was willing, and did use it on Selena. I believe she died either on the way to the hospital or at the hospital. I couldn't get a full confirmation from a reputable source of what happened there. Honestly that whole 20/20 I linked in the show notes it's on YouTube and different parts, someone kindly posted that and it just shows you how sketchy Yolanda was and clearly the interviewers were trying to like kind of be like okay you're kind of a kook we don't have Selena's mark, we want to do a tribute of her overall legacy, we're gonna pick you. And Yolanda is actually up for parole in 2025 which I knew when I saw the movie in middle school, hence she saved my day that day going back to that. Now it just feels so much more real being like in 2020 versus like some random mid 2000s because all our whole like middle school class was obsessed with Yolanda. Honestly most people were for like the wrong reason like they start looking at her Wikipedia's seeing that Yolanda has like a fan club now which is like completely inappropriate. But I kept thinking like yo, why is she on parole and she would be on patrol because she would have served at least thirty years of her sentence so it's like thirty years to life sentence. Honestly, I don't think she's going to get paroled. I never read an indication that she was but you never know.

Alana: The Yolanda fan club kind of goes back to what we were saying in our lady criminals episode.

Haley: Yes.

Alana: Like these friggin serial killers that have fan clubs and that's so messed up.

Haley: I almost actually paved Yolanda Saldivar as my lady criminal because just whole rap sheet on her and there's just so much on like her publicness, she is still alive, and in the interviews she's like wearing makeup, wearing nice clothing, and I’m like you are painting her as an innocent, sweet lady, she is talking about murder! This is… no. I feel like we wouldn't do that for certain people like people still have sympathy for her, hence she's not wearing like the prison jumpsuit they're not doing in a prison yard. They're like creating this space to paint a picture. So to end on a happy note I've kind of compiled the list on her legacy and Boy Howdy even just in the past few years the list goes on and on. I made like a whole list from when she died and after so like 1995 to 2020 and yes it's a lot of years, but just all the stuff. There's a lot of family drama, court drama, stuff with Yolanda Saldivar and to keep it positive and keep it with stuff that we can use as Lady History and just like us as a community, loving her… Mac cosmetics has created two makeup lines in her honor. The lipstick is chef's kiss gorgeous. It's like her iconic red lipstick. I'm still looking for it. I keep thinking I’ll see it when I go to Mac or Sephora and I should probably just order online. She also has a Hollywood Walk of Fame star which you can go visit. Lastly, we have a ton of documentaries and biopics, notably the movie with J. Lo that is and back on HBO and I believe Netflix is also in the works with creating a series within the near future. The trailer’s out it looks fantastic and in my ever so humble opinion, a lot of these biopics are actually pretty decent. They do show the good, the bad, and the ugly and I could be wrong, you could totally fight me but when I watched the movie when I had HBO, made a list of points I wanted to hit or kind of corroborate because I thought it was interesting when I was watching the movie of like oh the J.Lo movie did like a great job because all that like I could find in like interviews or like the Smithsonian had a bunch of PBS, CNN for a PSA for the sources; lots of visuals this time, so if you're a visual, you like the videos you like the audio for it, rather than the text of all the books definitely check those out.

Alana: That was cool. Definitely not someone I think of as fitting this topic, that was awesome.

Haley: We defined sheroes like anyone who makes an impact

Alana: Yeah.

Haley: And honestly I had the whole joke of how I really do want to be in my Spanish middle school class and I didn't know of her existence beforehand. I've listened to some of her music growing up I didn't realize like her whole story and that was Seleh-na, Seleena, however you want to say it, I don't know you can you can fight me on how to pronounce the name but like it was the first time I saw Spanish representation in a Spanish class which is saying a lot.

Alana: Awesome, That's so cool. I guess it helps when you are telling real stories and not being, or at least trying to tell real stories and not making shit up.

Haley: Yeah, also at least for the cast for J. Lo, I'm thinking off the top of my head weren't like white people playing Hispanic, Latino characters. The Spanish was good. Like we'll see West Side Story and Natalie Wood with brown face on that was not the situation will not be the situation for Netflix.

Lexi: sings * MMMAAARRIIIAAAA *

Haley: I will get so mad if that comes around like that again.

Lexi: Ya know I can play Maria on the French Horn.

Alana: So something that Lexi and Haley know about me and now all of our lovely listeners are going to know about me is I have two favorite things: museums and fucking over Nazis. This story has both. Lexi is giving me a round of applause. We love it. So did you two see “Monuments Men?”

Haley: No I have not.

Alana: Lexi is nodding. Well my lady for today is the inspiration for the character Claire Simone played by Cate Blanchett in the movie “Monuments Men.” She's kind of turned into just a love interest but this is not a movie review podcast this is a history podcast. So. Rose Valland. She was born on November 1, 1898 in a small town in France that I'm not even gonna try to pronounce. It occurred to me that this is why we tend to stick with ladies who are American and British is because so many of these sources were in French and I was like I don't speak French. Sometimes I feel bad about that but other times I'm like I can't read these sources.

Lexi: We should get some listeners to send us translations of ladies from their home countries that we can use. So if you have a lady from your home country or speak a language of a country, translate some sources for a rare lady and send them to us.

Alana: We would love to talk about rare ladies who are like– that's the whole point, like overlooked by history.

Haley: Google Translate does not help. I'm ready for someone to be like use Google Translate because I’ve seen that on so many podcasts.

Alana: Yeah. I have a Google Translate story later in this about how bad it was. Rose earned two separate degrees in art history from the École du Louvre and The Sorbonne. I over-pronounce things in French because you can't be corrected if you're wrong on purpose. She also has two previous degrees from École des Beaux-Arts in Lyon and in Paris which I think translates just like to school for fine arts or school of fine arts. And yet, she takes an unpaid volunteer job at the Jeu de Paume in 1932. It says volunteer, I've been thinking of her as an unpaid intern because that just resonates with me personally. I watched the documentary “Rape of Europa” which is all about this project. I did that while I was a little bit drunk and I looked at my notes afterwards and I have this line here in all caps, holy shit she was unpaid. I was very excited about her being an unpaid intern because unpaid interns can do anything.

Lexi: The amazing thing about that is that for most of museums’ history, once women were allowed in, they weren't allowed to be paid to work.

Alana: That's a whole other issue.

Lexi: When you look at the Smithsonian archives, the number of women that were just there because their husband was there but then actually contributed way more than their husbands but then got paid like eighty bucks as a present one time? Like… crazy. I digress.

Alana: And the Jeu de Paume is an art museum a little bit further from Paris, a little bit lesser known from Paris. It's like… for my DC friends, my DC audience it's like the Louvre is the National Gallery of Art and the Jeu de Paume is the Hirschhorn. So like it's a little bit lesser known but like still really cool. I can't find a good timeline for like her level of promotion and how far she came which… how? This was like less than a hundred years ago, but okay. Eventually she gets a job being a paid attaché and then becomes assistant curator when the curator falls ill. She was in charge of modern art exhibits which is very interesting because a very prominent art school reject has just become Chancellor of Germany and hates modern art and thinks it's degenerate. Oh. This will come into play later. It was Hitler. I just want to be like Hitler was an art school reject who thought modern art– I guess 1930s art was degenerate. I just wanna explain the joke.

Lexi: That’s my second favorite fact about Hitler.

Alana: What's your first favorite fact?

Lexi: That he only had one testicle.

Alana: That he only had one testicle. Okay. So. In October of 1940, the Nazis commandeered the Jeu de Paume for storing looted art. This was the Eisen– I don’t speak German. I’m gonna get it clean. Einsatzstab Reichsleiter Rosenberg Project. It was the name of the operation that Hitler used for all of the basically art looting that he did. That was like the name of the project; name of the operation. And then the director of the French National Museums says to Rose Valland “stay there. Be a spy.” And she's like “okay” and she works the phones which is an amazing way to like listen in to keep track of movements. But guess what? They're like being all loosey-goosey with their info around her because they're like “oh she's French, we're speaking German, it'll be fine.” Plot twist, she knows German! So she managed to keep a diary of which, like, prominent Jewish collectors owned what and what went where and who took it and where it was going and catalogued all this stuff. She was interrogated for being a spy twice and there is a quote from her– like she wrote a memoir about this, this time in her life and she says “he looked at me straight in the eye and told me I could be shot. I calmly replied that no one here is stupid enough to ignore the risk.” And that is movie dialogue level shit. Like, oh my god. Incredible. But like so, she's interviewed a couple times and she was like “no look I'm a woman I can't be a spy, look at my glasses.” (Alana laughing)

Haley, whispering: I’m a spy.

Lexi: Remember, women can't be money, women can't be spy.

Alana: Women don't be money women don't be spies.

Haley: We all have glasses, so we are all spies.

Alana: We are all spies. Can’t be glasses. She has– there are like all these cute little pictures of her and she was wearing Harry Potter glasses but this was way before Harry Potter and also like Harry Potter's kind of cringe now so I think we need to call Harry Potter glasses Rose Valland glasses. That's my new social movement, that's my new fight.

Lexi: Acceptable. We should start a Twitter campaign.

Alana: Yeah. I should. After the war, she kept working with the museum and she kept working with the Monuments Men. That was like their actual name, that's not just the name of the movie. And she was looking for the stolen art and she was part of the French Commission on Art Recovery. At age 54 she was finally made curator. Women… Women don't be museums, women don't be money, women don't be spies, women don't be museums. She's also given so many awards before she's even made curator. She's like the most decorated woman in France and then she's made curator. And like, that's all she ever wanted, was to be a curator but she has like– she's awarded the Legion of Honor, the Medal of the Résistance, the Officer’s Cross of the Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany, she's made Commander of the Order of Arts and Letters. In 1948 she was given the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but all she wants is to be curator of this museum.

Lexi: I have never felt a story on this show so hard.

Alana: And then , wait, how us is this part? She retired from the museum in 1968, but she went back to being a volunteer for ten years. I've never felt closer to a woman.

Lexi: Incredible. Yeah. I think this is my past life.

Alana: Yeah, right? She published a book called– it's basically like “The Front of Art” like “The Art Front.” It's a pun on a different book called “The Art of the Front.” But so she's just talking about like fighting the war but from the perspective of an art museum, essentially. It became the Hollywood movie “The Train” in the sixties but in her book she's not like a hero or glorifying herself. She's very objective and her fictionalized character in “The Train” has like ten minutes of screentime. She just wants to talk about the deeds, not really herself; she's just like “I was doing my job…” Which is the only way you should be using that phrase in the context of World War II. But James Rorimer, who is fictionalized to James Granger and Matt Damon– Matt Damon's character in “Monuments Men”– in an early draft of his book, he literally says “Rose Valland is the hero of this story.” I just think it's so amazing that she was so prominent in this, and all she's like “okay I just want to go work at my museum now, goodbye” but with a French accent… because she was French.

Lexi: I was gonna attempt it but I'm not going to.

Alana: I’m not gonna do it, I can't do it. There is a statue of– it's sort of, there is a statue that's sort of of her in Lille, France L. I. L. L. E. France. Which is like a little town about 225 kilometers or 140 miles north of Paris. It's pretty close to the Belgian border. The way in which I had to go to the Hebrew language Wikipedia page and translate it to English to find out that's where the statue was… So here's my Google Translate story. In Hebrew, I speak very little Hebrew, shout out to my at-home synagogue who gave me a job teaching Hebrew even though I don't speak it. I love that. But there's a prefix V- which means and. And so when I translated the page into English, the computer translated Rose V-alland to Rose and Allan. So that's why we don't trust the Google Translate. That's why we don't trust the computer translate. We only trust the people. The humans. Because there's like no capitals in Hebrew, so you can't tell what's a name and what's not. This statute does not look like her at all. It's more like a monument to her. It's like a woman, wrapped in a sheet, surrounded by empty frames, and it's kind of weird but it's like a memorial to her. There is ongoing work with the recovery project. There are still paintings that the Nazis looted that haven't been found; it is called the E. R. R. project for. Eizen– Eizenstab or whatever. And they're trying to find the stolen works and it is sponsored by the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum– please give me a job United States Holocaust Memorial Museum– and the Jewish Claims Conference. So it's like her life is not– like her life's work is not complete and we have to finish it. I had a really good time researching this story. Shout out to my dad for the four bucks he gave me so that I could rent “Monuments Men” on Amazon. Yeah. I also have documentaries this week. It's fun that we've like done different kinds of sources.

Lexi: We covered such different she-roes like–

Haley: I love it.

Lexi: Mine’s like the classical like she literally like pulled someone out of water.

Haley: Yeah.

Lexi: And then Haley's is more like look how many people's lives that she touched and therefore like saved people through music and then Alana’s is about saving art. Which is so cool that we all have different types of heroes. There's no wrong way to be a she-ro.

Haley: That's why I wanted to ask the question.

Alana: What is a she-ro.

Haley: Yeah. I love that.

Lexi: Anyone can be a she-ro.

Alana: Anyone who uses she/her pronouns can be a she-ro. Lexi's doing a fist pump and it's very funny that she has a screenshot from one of our previous Zoom meetings as her Zoom background.

Haley: What would be the non-binary version of hero/she-ro?

Alana: They-ro.

Haley: Okay.

Lexi: Yeah, I love that.

Haley: Well, I wanted to say that but then I didn't want to be like– that was in my head, but…

Alana: They-ro.

Haley: Trying to like pronounce it sounded weird.

Alana: Like my favorite joke that nobody likes, like happy Rosh– or like, Shana Tova to all my Hebrews, shebrews, and theybrews.

Haley: Yes.

Alana: My favorite joke in the whole world and I made it on Twitter nobody liked it. If you see me on Twitter no you don't.

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on lady history pod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review or tell your friends, and if you don’t like the show, keep it to yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra you can find her on Twitter and Instagram at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, Garageband, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time on Lady History.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week on Lady History; we're heading to the zoo to monkey around. Get ready for some zoologists, zookeepers, primatologists, you name it. It’s going to be such an animal party.

Alana: I have a confession to make. Every time you say the birthdate of one of your ladies I’m like “Oh, so her star sign is…”

(Lexi laughing)

Alana: Like, Haley was like “she was born on April 16th” and in my head I'm like “so she's an Aries…”

Haley: I think of the same thing. I like–

Alana: It's just like where I am. I always think that like… every time I write down a birthday I'm like “oh maybe this time I'll be like oh that makes her a Scorpio. Like, Rose Valland, Scorpio.

1 note · View note

jordanerickson · 5 years ago

Text

Top 40 Tracks of 2019

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6RvJKcx2aPZbQv93RQHj1J?si=z7_Z3l5lTOOeRhc0WS0bLQ

Kids - PUP Is a list of songs reflective of where I feel my year has been? Or are they aspirational to where I want the next year to go? It feels like a bit of both. I don’t even remember what was going on the month I stumbled on this song but I know I was feeling bad at times and playing this song at full volume in my car and shouting along really made me feel better. "I should have tapped out/given in to my demons" says so much with so few words. I’m not into punk but if it was all like this I would be.

It Might Be Time - Tame Impala The drums sound like When The Levee Breaks, aka the best sounding drums of all time. Through the transitive property, this track kicks ass. Also love it when an exciting song has a dour message about getting old letting the dream of the eternal party die.

Paramour - Anna Meredith This song is so kinetic and exciting on its own and then I found out Anna Meredith is a composer with an OBE and did the soundtrack for Eighth Grade. She seems cool. Also from 3:25 on this song absolutely slays - a drop, a squealing 80s guitar solo, and then this devastating beat... you gotta love it.

Younger - The Mountain Goats John Darnielle is obviously a real lyrics wiz but this one especially really does feel like it's from a Dungeons and Dragons game. It actually reminds me of this comic called Head Lopper which is sort of an encapsulation of every swords and sorcery fantasy wrapped into one. The bassline gives so much space in the verses and when those backing vocals come in with the chorus things really feel epic. Also, gotta respect the sax solo.

Frontier - Holly Herndon I'm already obsessed with Shape Singing, so of course I was on board in the first ten seconds. On top of that Holly taught an A.I. to add tracks using human voices, and then she went back to the root traditions of songwriting to write a song about climate change?!?! Incredible. I was talking to my brother about this track and he brought up the fact that the lyrics seem to pit both older generations and the Earth itself as antagonistic toward the listener. "This Earth doesn't care for what we need, what we breathe/A frontier of green or of dust" What a call to action. I can just imagine a remnant of humanity singing this in caves 400 years from now once the wasteland is scoured clean.

Pressure To Party - Julia Jacklin How are all of these Australians so good at making pop-rock all of a sudden? I saw Julia Jacklin play at The Cedar last month and she was so pleasant and nice and this song was the closer because of course it was. What a beautiful song, the melody is perfect.

The Barrel - Aldous Harding This one was a surprise when I was putting the playlist together. I had completely forgotten about it but it's just an incredible groove and her voice is so clear and nice. The weird high talky voice coming in on the third chorus is the exact type of left-field choice I want in a song.

If You Want It - Jay Som This was playing in the background of a coffee shop and when the solo comes in at 1:35 I literally dropped everything and pulled up Shazam to figure out what I was listening to.

Heavy Heavy - Pom Pom Squad Every once in a while an artist just hits a rich vein of angst in the songwriting mines and Pom Pom Squad hit the motherlode. The build on this song destroys me.

Proud - The Nunnery I saw The Nunnery twice this year and both times I was blown away. She loops every track live almost effortlessly. This one is about how she's proud of you for getting out of your house.

Mine Right Now - Sigrid I hope when Sigrid came up with the chorus for this song she took herself out for an expensive meal.

Whitsand Bay - Metronomy An album that snuck in near the end of the year. This feels like a throwback to 2010, which I will not explain any further.

Chain Reaction - Control Top Wow this song really kicks ass!!!! The lyrics feel like a parody somehow but actually they're perfect?!

Bratebrann - Kvelertak I have loved these guys for a long time and got to seen them in Chicago back in 2014. They are getting less metal and more rock and I don't hate it! I always forget how good every metal drummer is and then a song like this comes along and I'm air drumming along with them.

Larry, Sleepover Friend - Ecce Shnak What the hell is this song even? I have no idea why I like this weird operatic nonsense but this track specifically gets me. The rest of their stuff is not interesting in any way but sometimes an artist can write some weird perfect single and this is one of them.

NICE OUT - Kilo Kish Weird minor key pop should be a bigger genre.

So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings - Caroline Polachek This title makes me laugh, and quite frankly Caroline wrote a better Haim song than the girls from Haim.

Drunk II - Mannequin Pussy "And everyone says to me, 'Missy you're so strong' but what if I don't wanna be?" UGH AMAZING

Hungry Child - Hot Chip Hot Chip releases an album every couple years like clockwork and on every album there are at least 2 songs that go into the all-time great Hot Chip songs. Their Greatest Hits album would be unbelievable.

Turning - Ben Noble Apparently a Minneapolis local! What a groove this song gets into!

Lark - Angel Olsen I know I'm supposed to hold up Burn Your Fire No Witness as a landmark all-time album but honestly I think it's super boring. Then Lauren played this song for me when we were on a long road trip and I had to stop and ask who we were listening to because I was so stunned. More music should have a string section.

The other 20 songs are great too but I’m lazy!

13 notes · View notes

poisonappletales · 6 years ago

Note

If one (or all, your pick) of your characters were featured in a news article, what would the headline be?

Hello, Anonymous! Ooh, this is a fun one. Since I’m going with news articles, I’m going to set this in a half-modern setting. The fantasy world meets the modern era. Something like a fun parody.

Let’s see…shall we start with Unknown from Don’t Take This Risk?

“Aren’t some of those the lyrics to a song?”

“They suit me.”

“What’s with the come-on at the end? You know what that sounds like, don’t you?”

“You even got the word ‘pimps’ in there.”

[grins] “If you do not like it, then do you have something that beats it?”

“I sure do. Check me out!”

“Oi. That’s not me.”

[grinning even more broadly] “Really? I didn’t notice.”

[to Wind:] “You’re sure causing big trouble in the…city. Do we live in Virgo City now?”

“Looks more professional now that the article ain’t written by you.”

“With all those cap locks and everything? You have a pretty low bar for that.”

“That still ain’t me! Where’s mine?! Who’s the professor confessing his feelings to anyway?”

[tongue-in-cheek] “You can’t tell?”

[muttering under his breath:] “Hulder scum.”

“I’m sure it’ll get to your newspaper eventually, X.”

“It’ll knock everyone’s socks off.”

“Haha! Look at that.”

“Whoa. That’s hard-core. I thought these were all going to be a bunch of funnies.”

“Do we really have to comment on every one? Why am I even here with you two?”

“I dunno. Does it really matter?”

“There’s mine!”

“You’re behind bars. Bravo.”

“Shut up. I’ll get out.”

“I notice you have two photographs.”

“People can’t get enough of this handsome mug.”

“I’m with two big-headed idiots. Great.”

“Haha! Feel free to join us.”

“I don’t need to stroke my ego like you two.”

“What are you talking about? I’m just saying it like it is.”

“Mm-hmm. I am sexy, and I know it.”

“That’s getting tiresome. Knock it off.”

“Don’t you want to at least take off that hood before saying that? Put your money where your mouth is.”

“Haha! This is really cute.”

“Says names have been changed, but in that pic, that’s definitely Rosemary and Jasmine.”

[sarcastic] “You could see Jasmine? Her cousin practically shoved her out of the frame.”

“That is okay. I can still see her sexy eyes and lovely hair. Ah, I’m so happy! It’s the ladies’ turn, isn’t it?”

“Ugh. Bieber.”

“Oh, better not let cutie Rosemary hear you say that. She looks like she could claw someone’s eyes out for saying one wrong word about her star crush.”

“I ain’t scared. Anyways, have no idea who BTS is.”

“Hmm…Wind looks like he could fit in with them - if he wouldn’t mind dancing.”

“Or singin’, you mean?”

“What are you two trying to insinuate?”

[smiling broadly] “Why are you always so mad? I just gave you a compliment. They have a lot of fans, you know.”

“Like I care to have humans flocking to me. I’m not always in heat like you either.”

“…”

“Haha! What?”

“I don’t even -”

“I wanna check out that Playboy issue.”

“Of all the stupidity -”

“She already looks good with clothes. Without them would be even better.”

“Can we move on?”

“You know, I can’t really see her liking an old bag of bones like Trump. But he does have money…some chicks dig cash.”

“Next.”

“Ooh, cosplay. I like.”

“Is Wildfire dressing up as a Pikachu in that pic?”

“Haha! It’s hard to imagine them dressing up as the Frozen sisters. I bet Brooks was the adorable Anna and Wildfire was the alluring Elsa.”

“Didn’t the princess dress up as Elsa before?”

“She did? If they went to the same convention…cat fight.”

“Nobody’s touchin’ my woman on my watch.”

“Since when is she your woman?”

“Since she kissed me.”

“What -”

“The two sexiest fighters from the Fire Emblem series…I do not play much games, but I have heard of it. It’ll be hard to decide which ones they mean to dress up as. Aren’t all women sexy in their own way? Just by being a woman -”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard the speech before.”

“Some women may not have.”

“Great. We have an audience. As usual.”

“If it’s supposed to be anonymous, why is Chase putting his name down?”

“Maybe he doesn’t know how anonymous submissions work?”

“I know what I would want to write to ‘Dear Ambrosia.’”

“So do I. ‘You’re my woman, so don’t let anybody take ya from me.’”

“Still going on with that nonsense.”

“‘Tell me your three sizes. If you do not want to say, would you mind if I checked to see what they were?’”

“You two are psycho.”

“Oi. He’s the psycho. I’m just someone you shouldn’t mess with.”

“You mean a thug?”

“Bring it on, slimebag.”

“Aww, that’s it for the ladies? I rather see a Hulder woman…”

“‘Several well-known designers and models blah blah blah’…I’m already bored.”

“If we’re done here, how about you do what you said and put your money where you mouth is? Bring it on. Or are you chicken?”

“Ohh, I’ll make you regret those words! Better be careful you ain’t bitin’ off more than you can chew, beast man.”

[smirking] “You’re both thugs, aren’t you?

I was hoping this would end with a more exciting article…maybe, the reverse of Arsenik’s? Something from a woman, like - ‘Sexy Unknown, I’m ready for you. I want you now. ♥’ ”

“You know, I better teach you a lesson too - before you start getting weird ideas and writing up some twisted article!”

“Oh, it would not be a twisted thing. You would like it too if your princess said she wanted you, right?”

“She can say whatever she wants, but I don’t like what’s coming out of your mouth. Flame on!”

“Hmm? Isn’t that from Fantastic Four -”

Just want to say that some of these pop culture references (like, say, the Fantastic Four one) is because this whole thing is leaning towards a parody.

Coming from Don’t Take This Risk, Unknown naturally knows how the modern world works and so forth, but if someone like X is making an exclusively modern-day comment, you know why. This is a comedic little thing, so he’s given some extra knowledge!

Some additional notes as always:

Unknown’s Article. Yep, Unknown wrote that one. Now, if I was being serious, Unknown might have a different headline - but oh! That may be too close to spoilers.If Unknown saw his article in the paper, he would think he’s sexy and he knows it. Because he wrote it.

Wind’s Article. Ah, that’s Wind for you. Always causing chaos and mayhem!If Wind saw his article in the paper, he would toss it at the next unsuspecting passerby. Because he’s done with the paper and found it a little annoying. Unless that passerby happens to be a certain Phoenix.

Arsenik’s Article. Ah, I wanted something romantic here. When Arsenik loves, wouldn’t you say he does so passionately? Ambrosia’s name is left out because 1) he already said he’s not bold enough to put it in there and 2) it simultaneously fits the War: Valentine Edition setting/universe (where you, the player, go on dates with the boys). If you’re the one he loves, you can imagine receiving an article like this, can’t you?If Arsenik saw his article in the paper, he would recall all the times he went over the words in his head and proofread them. He would re-read it once more, as if hunting for imperfections even when it’s already too late. He would think he was being silly when he put it in the paper, but it also feels nice to air his feelings. Now, it’s just a matter of whether she will come to the Sky-Reaching Park. He really will wait every day for you.

Night’s Article. He is a warrior of the Vi, so it makes sense for him to be an army veteran. Again, you can see his relaxed flirting style. The journalist made the approach, and he responds honestly (“I think you’re a very pretty woman”).If Night saw his article in the paper, he would chuckle with amusement.

Onyx’s Article. This article being written by “a Random Journalist” is the only thing that might earn a chuckle out of you. Everything else is much more sobering because that’s Onyx for you! This is the kind of headline that suits him.If Onyx saw his article in the paper, he would register the information and remember it.

X’s Article. X is the bad boy of prison. With his fire powers, wouldn’t a modern-day world label him as an arsonist?If X saw his article in the paper, I imagine he’s in jail by this point. He likes what they quoted him on.

Jasmine & Rosemary’s Article. Rosemary is a fan girl! Well, Jasmine is one, too…but not for Justin Bieber! (Even if she secretly thinks he’s good looking. She just doesn’t like him as much as a certain boy band…)If the two saw their article in the paper, Rosemary would shriek, “THEY BARELY CHANGED MY NAME!” Jasmine would say, “What does it matter? Your face is in the picture. I told you not to talk to the reporters! Why couldn’t we have just gone to the BTS concert? None of this would have happened otherwise!”

Bo-Peep’s Article. Now, I should note that I’m not intending to make any particular political statement here. I’m only tailoring the articles to fit each character’s personality/background. Bo-Peep would indeed make a fine beauty vlogger, and she would have no qualms about posing for Playboy. As for going from the king’s mistress to the president’s other woman…well, are you siding with her fans who think it’s all a lie or those who believe it? After all, there is a money trail…If Bo-Peep saw her article in the paper, she would ask her manager (King Barium?) what to do.

Wildfire & Brooks’ Article. The cosplaying duo! In a modern setting, they’re totally gamer girls, who like dressing up and thinking they’re hot stuff. But yeah, Wildfire isn’t any nicer. If Ambrosia did show up at the convention with the same cosplay (without any malice, of course), you can imagine how Wildfire would react, right? Just don’t expect an “open” freak out. Wildfire’s an expert in the Mean Girls style of bullying, you know? If the two saw their article in the paper, Wildfire would click her tongue and go, “Yep. Lookin’ good.” Brooks would agree, “We do look good, don’t we? Kyahaha!”

Ambrosia & Chase’s Article. All right. Barring extenuating circumstances, these two…honestly wouldn’t be featured in the newspaper. They don’t do anything outstandingly spectacular or necessarily cause trouble. Ambrosia is shy, while Chase is the kind of nice Average Joe who gets friend-zoned like he mentioned. (Present-day Ambrosia of Beauty and the War might be able to grab the headlines…but I want to avoid spoilers! So, we’re sticking with past Ambrosia for now.)While I could have an article featuring Ambrosia being a casualty of, say, Wildfire, I decided to give her an ask column in the style of Dear Abby. This way, Chase would write in a question and voila! They both have a spot in the newspaper. When Ambrosia received this question, she was thinking, “Oh dear…I don’t have any experience with relationships! Am I really qualified to answer a question like this? But I have to tell him something…I’m sure he’s a good man. I’ll remind him of his positive qualities and tell him not to give up. He’s sure to find someone!”Interestingly, you might notice that Ambrosia is someone who’s good at encouraging others but not herself. She’s the kind of person who would think, “Someone like me shouldn’t be with anyone.” Perhaps…she has a particular reason for thinking this way?On a side note, I went with her picture from the Don’t Take This Risk webtoon because this was a modern-day setting!If Ambrosia and Chase saw their article in the paper, Chase would exclaim, “Ahh! They didn’t make my name anonymous like I thought they would!”Ambrosia would think, “I do hope I managed to help Sir Chase. I meant every word I said. Mm…did he mean to include his name…?It’s also…really strange seeing my picture in the paper like that…! It’s kind of embarrassing. I wonder if it’s really necessary to include my face. I’m sure no one wants to see me. It’d be much cuter to have something like a fluffy bunny or a baby deer instead. Yes, I would like that much more!”

The Hulder’s Article. This was really a way to slip in an article for Viktor, who’s part of the supporting cast in Beauty and the War (X Playing Pieces). The Hulder are ethereally attractive, so in the modern-day world, they would sparkle be models. All-natural models.Naturally (no pun intended!), Arsenik tries to talk up his nephew, who’s more interested in lights and fame than him. Arsenik’s happier sitting in a cafe, sipping from a cup of tea and reading a book (and maybe sneaking glances at the woman who caught his heart?). I’m not sure if you find it funny that the guy who’s ranked one of the top 10 sexiest models…can’t work up the courage to approach his crush.If Viktor saw his article in the paper, he would say (to whoever’s with him), “Oh, I have a pretty nice spot in the photo. I thought I’d be more in the back or shuffled to the side, but you can see my face and everything just fine. That’s good! I can’t wait for Fashion Week!”

There we have it! The articles and the headlines many of my characters would make. Hope you enjoyed it, Anonymous. Which ones were your favorites?

Oh, and if anyone ever does want to write to “Dear Ambrosia,” feel free. She loves to encourage you with love and positivity!

I’m now pretty exhausted, so I’ll be heading off now. Have an awesome rest of the day!

#ask

22 notes · View notes

jerrylevitch · 7 years ago

Text

So there have been a few comments on facebook lately on my posts (in the past on tumblr) saying that Dean did not like/love Jerry at all. For anyone who think that Dean Martin did not love/like Jerry Lewis, here are a few facts for you.

1. Dean didn’t have to stay with Jerry at Jerry's home for 2 months, when he left Jeanne for a short time in 1953, but he did.

2. Dean didn’t have to be in Jerry’s home movie parodies, but he did.

3. Dean didn’t have to stay with Jerry in Carmel at a place together, on yet another occasion where he left Jeanne, but he did. Jerry left his own wife at home, to be with Dean when he left Jeanne!

4. They took vacations together that had nothing to do with touring!

5. No matter what, whenever Dean or Jerry referred to each other after the split up they still called each other “my partner.”

6: There were instances of people saying derogatory remarks about Jerry, where Dean punched them in the face or shot back at them with sarcastic remarks at them depending on the situation. Dean always defended Jerry.

7. When Dean signed with Capitol records, he specified that they sign Jerry too, or they wouldn't have him. (I have an article confirming this)

8. When Jerry had an accident and fell off the stage hurting his spine in 1952. Dean rushed to his side and wouldn't let anyone touch Jerry. He carried him off the stage and into the ambulance. Dean actually cried and couldn't go back on to complete the show. When the theatre manager demanded that Dean complete the show because of their contract, he told him off.

What does this all mean??? Dean loved Jerry, and was his friend! That is why he stuck with him. Also why would Dean in 1966 at the height of his solo career, even entertain the idea of getting back together with Jerry after they reunited at Sy Devore’s funeral. They literally discussed getting back together. Obviously Dean didn’t need the money at that point, so why would he want to get back with the person “who caused him so much aggravation.” Could it be that maybe he missed Jerry???? Here are some quotes that make my point.

“In the beginning of our relationship, Jerry was just wonderful, and I was doing all the funny things that I had always wanted to do. I love to hear laughter, but I couldn’t get laughter just singing. Hearing a whole audience laugh is like getting drunk.“ - Dean Martin

“Oh, God, we had such fun, it was ridiculous. He’s (Dean) doing a number one night and he calls me up. He said, I hope I didn’t interrupt you when you’re busy.” I said “No, I was just standing around listening to you.’ He said, ‘In the middle of the song I thought to myself, I miss him.’ I said ‘That’s why you called me up, because you missed me?’ He said ‘Yeah–now we’re together–isn’t that wonderful?” - Jerry Lewis, Dean and Me

"One of their stage bits calls for Dean to catch Jerry. In Minneapolis on their last tour, Jerry missed a small movement, landed on his back with a sickening crunch and passed out. They rushed him to the hospital, with Dean beside him in the ambulance, racked by the dread that his boy’s back was broken. The doctor couldn’t say until they made a series of tests and had taken some X-rays.Meantime the audience waited. ‘What’ll I do? asked the manager. ‘Refund their money?’ ‘I’ll go back ,’ said Dean. ‘At least I can sing a few songs.’ He stepped out to a tremendous ovation. Halfway through his song, emotion strangled him. He couldn’t choke out so much as a word of apology. He could only turn on his heel and get out of there fast. The manager apologized for him, while he fled back to the hospital and Jerry. Not til dawn did the doctors bring re-assurance. ‘It’s alright. The back isn’t broken. Just some badly torn ligaments that will heal.’ Dean’s face started to crumple, but he controlled it. The tears that misted his vision, he couldn’t control."— “Behind That Riot Act” by Ida Zeitlin Photoplay Magazine, September, 1952

"Our partnership in many ways is a marriage…. I dare say we’ve spent more time together than most married couples do.” - Dean Martin

“I don’t know where he is, but wherever he is, he must be doing just fine, because he has bundles of talent and he’s a wonderful guy.” Dean Martin’s comeback to a heckler saying ‘Where’s Jerry?’

“I’ve said we’ve been together almost a decade. Sometimes as a gag I say it seems more like 15 years. Actually it’s more like five. I trust him implicitly” - Dean Martin

“On the road for six years, while we were mainly doing nightclubs, we roomed together much of the time. We never had a difference of opinion we couldn’t resolve by ourselves and quickly. Indeed, until a bunch of outsiders got into the act, we never had an argument which wasn’t settled by sundown.” - Dean Martin

"When we shook hands on our partnership, I said in my heart, this is forever, ‘til death do us part. It still goes! Sometimes he makes mistakes. Sometimes I make mistakes. But as long as people let us alone, the team of Martin & Lewis will go on.” - Dean Martin

“It was Dean’s 72nd birthday and Jerry surprised him with a cake. It was a touching moment. Jerry walked out singing ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. It’s me, the old Jew, happy birthday to you.’ The crowd went wild and Dean was clearly surprised and didn’t know what to say. In a turnabout from their 1976 reunion, he looked at Jerry and said ‘You’re all dressed up. You working?’ Jerry looked at the cake ‘We would have had 72 candles but with your breath, we’d have had another frickin’ fire.’

Dean said ‘You’re still the best in the whole world.“ Before the curtain closed, they embraced and Dean said "I love you, and I mean it."’

“Maria Lauren Alberici-Riccio (Golddigger, 1973 – 1991): Before the telethon reunion, Dean let us in on the private messages and jokes written with our lipstick that he had been leaving for Jerry Lewis via his dressing room mirror. Jerry played the MGM Grand and had left Dean some razzing but good humored remarks on the mirror prior to our engagement. Dean was like a little boy bragging about it to us, ‘Look at what I wrote to Jerry; look what ‘Crazy’ wrote to me. I answered him real good…’ He was so cute!”

#Dean Martin #Jerry Lewis #Martin and Lewis #dominicsherwoof #fangirl72 #xhaberdashery #kalei78 #bluehairedspidey #withlove-dino

212 notes · View notes

jonathantaylorthomas · 7 years ago

Text

If you think Taylor Swift sings only about her exes, then you don’t get Taylor Swift

We took a deep dive into Swift's albums to track her evolution on these other themes:

Theme: Life lessons

Album: "Taylor Swift" (2006)

As the story goes, aspiring teenage singer-songwriter Taylor Swift knocked on doors around Music Row, dropping off demo CDs. Her parents eventually saw enough promise to move from Wyomissing, Pa., to Nashville, where Swift became the youngest songwriter ever signed to Sony/ATV Music Publishing at age 14.

Shortly after, Swift landed a record deal with Big Machine. As she was suddenly thrown into an adult world, her songwriting was still very much from a high-schooler's perspective.

"I don't know what I want, so don't ask me," she sings on "A Place In This World" (Swift, Robert Ellis Orrall, Angelo Petraglia). " 'Cause I'm still trying to figure it out."

Her lyrics veer from extreme confidence to self-doubt: "I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh, but life goes on — I'm just a girl trying to find a place in this world." She also assures her listeners: "I'm not the only one who feels the way I do."

This direct connection to her fans — many young girls indeed felt similar to Swift — would catapult her to superstardom. She also captured the insecurities of her teenage fanbase with the darkly sad "Tied Together With a Smile" (Swift, Liz Rose), about a friend who seemed like she had the perfect life yet struggled with bulimia.

"You don't tell anyone that you might not be the golden one," Swift sings. "You're tied together with a smile, but you're coming undone."

Album: "Fearless" (2008)

Swift's solo-written "Change," an anthem about not giving up, was chosen as a 2008 Summer Olympics theme song, but "Fifteen" was the standout track from the Grammys' album of the year, convincing critics that Swift was a true force. (Rolling Stone dubbed her a "songwriting savant.")

In the song, also a solo write, Swift takes on the role of the older and wiser teen: She knows what it was like walking through the school hallways, terrified to make eye contact with anyone but also hoping to be noticed by the cute senior. She tells the cautionary tale of her best friend, Abigail, who "gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind — and we both cried."

Ultimately, Swift wanted listeners to know it was okay to feel overwhelmed by high school. "I've found time can heal most anything, and you just might find who you're supposed to be," she sings. "I didn't know who I was supposed to be at 15.”

Album: "Speak Now" (2010)

Swift wrote this entire album herself. While the quiet "Innocent" got many headlines — it chided Kanye West for interrupting her acceptance speech at the 2009 MTV Music Video Awards — one overlooked song was "Never Grow Up," a melancholy guitar acoustic tucked between Swift's forays into rock and pure pop. In the track, 20-year-old Swift grapples with the fear and loss that arrives during the early years of adulthood.

Swift addresses her words to a newborn baby. "Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room, memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home," she sings, adding, "I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone."

Swift makes a similar wish to keep an iron grip on memories in "Long Live," a triumphant love letter to her band and Nashville team, who started as underdogs and conquered the music world. "If you have children someday, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name," she sings. "We will be remembered."

Album: "1989" (2014)

"Welcome to New York" (Swift, Ryan Tedder) kicked off Swift's official pop era — the album's opening track was bursting with glee at all the excitement the Big Apple had to offer: "Welcome to New York — it's been waiting for you!" Swift had only just recently purchased a $20 million penthouse in Tribeca, so she earned some mockery when she was then named New York City's "global welcome ambassador."

But the pop star didn't care as she reveled in the freedom of the city. "Everybody here was someone else before," Swift sings. "And you can want who you want, boys and boys and girls and girls."

Theme: Friendship

Album: "Taylor Swift" (2006)

As obsessed as Swift would eventually become with her powerful "squad," a BFF group made up of models, singers and actresses, she frequently talked about how she was bullied and ostracized in middle school. On "The Outside," which she wrote by herself as a teenager, you can feel her pain: "How can I ever try to be better? Nobody ever lets me in. I can still see you, this ain't the best view, on the outside looking in."

The music video for the buoyant "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" (Swift, Robert Ellis Orrall, Angelo Petraglia) shows Swift goofing around with her bandmates and best friend, Abigail. Although the lyrics allude to romantic soulmates ("I don't try to hide my tears, my secrets or my deepest fears, through it all nobody gets me like you do"), Swift's fans have adopted it as an ode to friendship.

Album: "Fearless" (2008)

A similar phenomenon occurs on "Breathe," co-written with singer-songwriter Colbie Caillat. Listeners could easily assume it's about a boyfriend ("You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand, and I can't breathe without you, but I have to"), but Swift confirmed it's actually about the end of a close friendship.

Swift continued to reflect on the hurt of her middle school days in "The Best Day," a tribute to her close relationship with her mother. Writing solo, she reflects: "I'm 13 now and don't know how my friends could be so mean. I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys," she sings. "And we drive and drive until we find a town far enough away, and we talk and window shop till I've forgotten all their names."

Album: "Red" (2012)

Swift's most famous — and happiest — friendship song arrived in the form of "22" (Swift, Max Martin, Shellback), an upbeat track that basks in a carefree existence, dancing and making fun of exes and eating breakfast at midnight after a night out: "We're happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time, it's miserable and magical, oh yeah!"

The song's hidden clue on the album liner notes is "ASHLEY DIANNA CLAIRE SELENA," also known as her close pals Ashley Avignone, Dianna Agron, Claire Kislinger and Selena Gomez. Swift explained she wanted to write with the attitude of "we are in our 20s and we don't know anything and it's awesome."

Album: "1989" (2014)

Although "New Romantics" (Swift, Max Martin, Shellback) is hidden as a "bonus track" on "1989," it's a fan favorite, and Rolling Stone recently ranked it as the second-best Swift song. It has "22" vibes with an '80s sonic spin, celebrating the heartache and joy of being young: "Heartbreak is the national anthem, we sing it proudly, we are too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet."

Theme: Fame

Album: "Red" (2012)

By her fourth album, Swift was officially an international celebrity. She also started to collaborate with Swedish maestros Max Martin and Shellback, who helped shape her new pop sound.

But "The Lucky One," which she wrote by herself, was a bit of a return to form. Like a country song, it tells a story — a starlet accomplishes her dream and then realizes that the perks ("big black cars and Riviera views") might not outweigh the dark side of fame ("your secrets end up splashed on the news front page.")

"They tell you that you're lucky, but you're so confused, 'cause you don't feel pretty, you just feel used," Swift sings. Many guessed that Joni Mitchell was her inspiration. Swift wouldn't spill, and only admitted in an interview that the song "expresses my greatest fear of having this not end up being fun anymore."

Album: "1989" (2014)

Swift's stardom skyrocketed again as her pop songs took on mass appeal. "Blank Space" (Swift, Max Martin, Shellback) is a parody of the tabloid media's characterization of Swift: A needy serial dater with a long list of ex-lovers who can tell you she's insane. And someone who, when she gets dumped, "goes to her evil lair and writes songs about it for revenge," as Swift once put it. Swift started writing the lyrics as a joke, and then realized the character was actually fascinating — as the song goes, "a nightmare dressed like a daydream."

Martin and Shellback also co-wrote "Shake It Off," one of Swift's top-selling singles, an earworm that hits back at her critics who she says are "gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate." In a YouTube interview, Swift said she wanted to write a "joyful" song about the criticism she gets on a daily basis — otherwise she would just burn with resentment forever.

"I Know Places" (Swift, Ryan Tedder) takes a more despondent view of a lifestyle in which privacy simply isn't an option. Swift has repeatedly talked about the difficulties of starting a new relationship while the world watches and mocks her, and this track is a wistful tune about hiding out: "They are the hunters, we are the foxes, and we run — baby, I know places we won't be found."

Theme: Revenge

Album: "Speak Now" (2010)

Swift first displayed her thirst for vengeance against exes on songs such as "Picture to Burn" (Swift, Liz Rose) on her first album and "Better Than Revenge," about a romantic rival, which she wrote for "Speak Now." But on that third album, her motivation also went beyond boyfriends with "Mean," a single that she wrote by herself and that earned her two Grammy awards, including one for best country song. The song's rumored genesis was a critical blog post by music writer Bob Lefsetz, who roasted Swift's cringeworthy duet with Stevie Nicks at the 2010 Grammys.

In return, Swift painted her critic as an eventual bitter, washed-up loser, "drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing." Swift concludes, "All you are is mean — and a liar and pathetic and alone in life."

Album: "1989" (2014)

Swift's most infamous revenge track is "Bad Blood" (Swift, Max Martin, Shellback). Once she revealed that the tune was about a fellow female pop star that tried to "sabotage" an arena tour, the Internet quickly figured out that it was Katy Perry, who hired several backup dancers away from Swift's Red Tour.

Although it might seem like a benign slight, Swift's lyrics are rough: "Did you have to hit me where I'm weak, baby, I couldn't breathe, and rub it in so deep? Salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me." Things only escalated when Swift recruited her famous friends for the song's fiery music video, which shows her vanquishing an enemy. In summer 2017, Perry fired back with a track of her own, "Swish Swish," although it received more mockery than anything.

Album: "Reputation" (2017)

After her longest break without releasing new music, Swift dropped "Look What You Made Me Do" in August. She and collaborator Jack Antonoff shared writing credits with Fred Fairbrass, Richard Fairbrass and Rob Manzoli, the trio behind "I'm Too Sexy," because Swift and Antonoff interpolated the 1990s hit.

The dance-pop track declares that the "old Taylor" is "dead." Still, she leans heavily on her tried-and-true revenge theme, clearly aimed at her nemeses Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West, with whom she has been feuding for years. "The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama," Swift chants. "But not for me, not for me — all I think about is karma."

95 notes · View notes

ts1989fanatic · 7 years ago

Text

If you think Taylor Swift sings only about her exes, then you don’t get Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift is one of those celebrities so famous that even if you don’t listen to her music, you probably know something about her. Usually, the assumption is, “Isn’t she the one who always writes songs about her boyfriends?” It’s true that Swift, 27, launched her career in 2006 as a teenager with “Tim McGraw,” a wistful ballad about a guy she dated in high school. When she became a star, she paired off with other stars and wrote about them: Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal.

While she rarely names the subjects of her songs, she leaves hints via coded messages in the album’s liner notes, leading to a media frenzy every time she releases new music — and she will likely continue the practice when she drops her sixth studio album, “Reputation,” on Nov. 10. However, those who know Swift only from those headlines and her major commerical hits (“Love Story,” “You Belong With Me,” “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,”) miss the fact that her music goes far beyond crushes and exes. Swift, who has solo or co-written every song she’s ever recorded, also tackles other substantive subjects, which have a major impact on her extremely loyal fanbase.

We took a deep dive into Swift’s albums to track her evolution on these other themes:

Theme: Life lessons

Album: “Taylor Swift” (2006)

Shortly after, Swift landed a record deal with Big Machine. As she was suddenly thrown into an adult world, her songwriting was still very much from a high-schooler’s perspective.

“I don’t know what I want, so don’t ask me,” she sings on “A Place In This World” (Swift, Robert Ellis Orrall, Angelo Petraglia). “ ’Cause I’m still trying to figure it out.”

Her lyrics veer from extreme confidence to self-doubt: “I’ll be strong, I’ll be wrong, oh, but life goes on — I’m just a girl trying to find a place in this world.” She also assures her listeners: “I’m not the only one who feels the way I do.”

This direct connection to her fans — many young girls indeed felt similar to Swift — would catapult her to superstardom. She also captured the insecurities of her teenage fanbase with the darkly sad “Tied Together With a Smile” (Swift, Liz Rose), about a friend who seemed like she had the perfect life yet struggled with bulimia.

“You don’t tell anyone that you might not be the golden one,” Swift sings. “You’re tied together with a smile, but you’re coming undone.”

Album: “Fearless” (2008)

Swift’s solo-written “Change,” an anthem about not giving up, was chosen as a 2008 Summer Olympics theme song, but “Fifteen” was the standout track from the Grammys’ album of the year, convincing critics that Swift was a true force. (Rolling Stone dubbed her a “songwriting savant.”)

In the song, also a solo write, Swift takes on the role of the older and wiser teen: She knows what it was like walking through the school hallways, terrified to make eye contact with anyone but also hoping to be noticed by the cute senior. She tells the cautionary tale of her best friend, Abigail, who “gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind — and we both cried.”

Ultimately, Swift wanted listeners to know it was okay to feel overwhelmed by high school. “I’ve found time can heal most anything, and you just might find who you’re supposed to be,” she sings. “I didn’t know who I was supposed to be at 15.”

Album: “Speak Now” (2010)

Swift wrote this entire album herself. While the quiet “Innocent” got many headlines — it chided Kanye West for interrupting her acceptance speech at the 2009 MTV Music Video Awards — one overlooked song was “Never Grow Up,” a melancholy guitar acoustic tucked between Swift’s forays into rock and pure pop. In the track, 20-year-old Swift grapples with the fear and loss that arrives during the early years of adulthood.

Swift addresses her words to a newborn baby. “Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room, memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home,” she sings, adding, “I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone.”

Swift makes a similar wish to keep an iron grip on memories in “Long Live,” a triumphant love letter to her band and Nashville team, who started as underdogs and conquered the music world. “If you have children someday, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name,” she sings. “We will be remembered.”

Album: “1989” (2014)

“Welcome to New York” (Swift, Ryan Tedder) kicked off Swift’s official pop era — the album’s opening track was bursting with glee at all the excitement the Big Apple had to offer: “Welcome to New York — it’s been waiting for you!” Swift had only just recently purchased a $20 million penthouse in Tribeca, so she earned some mockery when she was then named New York City’s “global welcome ambassador.”

But the pop star didn’t care as she reveled in the freedom of the city. “Everybody here was someone else before,” Swift sings. “And you can want who you want, boys and boys and girls and girls.”

Theme: Friendship

Album: “Taylor Swift” (2006)

As obsessed as Swift would eventually become with her powerful “squad,” a BFF group made up of models, singers and actresses, she frequently talked about how she was bullied and ostracized in middle school. On “The Outside,” which she wrote by herself as a teenager, you can feel her pain: “How can I ever try to be better? Nobody ever lets me in. I can still see you, this ain’t the best view, on the outside looking in.”

The music video for the buoyant “I’m Only Me When I’m With You” (Swift, Robert Ellis Orrall, Angelo Petraglia) shows Swift goofing around with her bandmates and best friend, Abigail. Although the lyrics allude to romantic soulmates (“I don’t try to hide my tears, my secrets or my deepest fears, through it all nobody gets me like you do”), Swift’s fans have adopted it as an ode to friendship.

Album: “Fearless” (2008)

A similar phenomenon occurs on “Breathe,” co-written with singer-songwriter Colbie Caillat. Listeners could easily assume it’s about a boyfriend (“You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand, and I can’t breathe without you, but I have to”), but Swift confirmed it’s actually about the end of a close friendship.

Swift continued to reflect on the hurt of her middle school days in “The Best Day,” a tribute to her close relationship with her mother. Writing solo, she reflects: “I’m 13 now and don’t know how my friends could be so mean. I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys,” she sings. “And we drive and drive until we find a town far enough away, and we talk and window shop till I’ve forgotten all their names.”

Album: “Red” (2012)

Swift’s most famous — and happiest — friendship song arrived in the form of “22” (Swift, Max Martin, Shellback), an upbeat track that basks in a carefree existence, dancing and making fun of exes and eating breakfast at midnight after a night out: “We’re happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time, it’s miserable and magical, oh yeah!”

The song’s hidden clue on the album liner notes is “ASHLEY DIANNA CLAIRE SELENA,” also known as her close pals Ashley Avignone, Dianna Agron, Claire Kislinger and Selena Gomez. Swift explained she wanted to write with the attitude of “we are in our 20s and we don’t know anything and it’s awesome.”

Album: “1989” (2014)

Although “New Romantics” (Swift, Max Martin, Shellback) is hidden as a “bonus track” on “1989,” it’s a fan favorite, and Rolling Stone recently ranked itas the second-best Swift song. It has “22” vibes with an ’80s sonic spin, celebrating the heartache and joy of being young: “Heartbreak is the national anthem, we sing it proudly, we are too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet.”

Theme: Fame

Album: “Red” (2012)

By her fourth album, Swift was officially an international celebrity. She also started to collaborate with Swedish maestros Max Martin and Shellback, who helped shape her new pop sound.

But “The Lucky One,” which she wrote by herself, was a bit of a return to form. Like a country song, it tells a story — a starlet accomplishes her dream and then realizes that the perks (“big black cars and Riviera views”) might not outweigh the dark side of fame (“your secrets end up splashed on the news front page.”)

“They tell you that you’re lucky, but you’re so confused, ’cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used,” Swift sings. Many guessed that Joni Mitchell was her inspiration. Swift wouldn’t spill, and only admitted in an interview that the song “expresses my greatest fear of having this not end up being fun anymore.”

Album: “1989” (2014)

Swift’s stardom skyrocketed again as her pop songs took on mass appeal. “Blank Space” (Swift, Max Martin, Shellback) is a parody of the tabloid media’s characterization of Swift: A needy serial dater with a long list of ex-lovers who can tell you she’s insane. And someone who, when she gets dumped, “goes to her evil lair and writes songs about it for revenge,” as Swift once put it. Swift started writing the lyrics as a joke, and then realized the character was actually fascinating — as the song goes, “a nightmare dressed like a daydream.”

Martin and Shellback also co-wrote “Shake It Off,” one of Swift’s top-selling singles, an earworm that hits back at her critics who she says are “gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.” In a YouTube interview, Swift said she wanted to write a “joyful” song about the criticism she gets on a daily basis — otherwise she would just burn with resentment forever.

“I Know Places” (Swift, Ryan Tedder) takes a more despondent view of a lifestyle in which privacy simply isn’t an option. Swift has repeatedly talked about the difficulties of starting a new relationship while the world watches and mocks her, and this track is a wistful tune about hiding out: “They are the hunters, we are the foxes, and we run — baby, I know places we won’t be found.”

Theme: Revenge

Album: “Speak Now” (2010)

Swift first displayed her thirst for vengeance against exes on songs such as “Picture to Burn” (Swift, Liz Rose) on her first album and “Better Than Revenge,” about a romantic rival, which she wrote for “Speak Now.” But on that third album, her motivation also went beyond boyfriends with “Mean,” a single that she wrote by herself and that earned her two Grammy awards, including one for best country song. The song’s rumored genesis was a critical blog post by music writer Bob Lefsetz, who roasted Swift’s cringeworthy duet with Stevie Nicks at the 2010 Grammys.

In return, Swift painted her critic as an eventual bitter, washed-up loser, “drunk and grumbling on about how I can’t sing.” Swift concludes, “All you are is mean — and a liar and pathetic and alone in life.”

Album: “1989” (2014)

Swift’s most infamous revenge track is “Bad Blood” (Swift, Max Martin, Shellback). Once she revealed that the tune was about a fellow female pop star that tried to “sabotage” an arena tour, the Internet quickly figured out that it was Katy Perry, who hired several backup dancers away from Swift’s Red Tour.

Although it might seem like a benign slight, Swift’s lyrics are rough: “Did you have to hit me where I’m weak, baby, I couldn’t breathe, and rub it in so deep? Salt in the wound like you’re laughing right at me.” Things only escalated when Swift recruited her famous friends for the song’s fiery music video, which shows her vanquishing an enemy. In summer 2017, Perry fired back with a track of her own, “Swish Swish,” although it received more mockery than anything.

Album: “Reputation” (2017)

After her longest break without releasing new music, Swift dropped “Look What You Made Me Do” in August. She and collaborator Jack Antonoff shared writing credits with Fred Fairbrass, Richard Fairbrass and Rob Manzoli, the trio behind “I’m Too Sexy,” because Swift and Antonoff interpolated the 1990s hit.

The dance-pop track declares that the “old Taylor” is “dead.” Still, she leans heavily on her tried-and-true revenge theme, clearly aimed at her nemeses Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West, with whom she has been feuding for years. “The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama,” Swift chants. “But not for me, not for me — all I think about is karma.”

ts1989fanatic other than the last paragraph this is a well thought out piece that actually gets it, Taylor Swift is a brilliant writer who can and does write about many subjects other than her exes.

82 notes · View notes

televinita · 7 years ago

Text

Zoo 3.11, “Cradles and Graves”

Maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me

I don't know if I'm more upset that this show had the gall to unironically use (a cover of)“Wonderwall” for dramatic effect, or that after 3 days of my inability to stop watching this episode, it's actually working for me.

I distinctly remember bursting out laughing when the first lyrics hit my ears, and now I'm like, teary eyed and nodding sagely through that whole montage. "Wow. So deep. So profound and meaningful."

------

A list of things I did not care for this week: the IADG bullpen unless Tessa was talking. Now that we've got that out of the way... Some things I like about the first 5 minutes -Imagining the Darkest Timeline version where they are all already dead by the time Clem finds them. -The (unintentional?) hilarity of the fact that Jackson's blood waits for the exactly perfect moment to ooze under the door for maximum dramatic effect -The fact that Mitch is found on the stairs instead of where he was shot, which suggests to me that he got to feel the full horror of seeing both Max and Jamie on the ground before he succumbed to his own wound (which is probably just an irresponsible directing choice because if he had, I'd think he'd be a little more grateful about the whole them-not-being-dead part, but it's fun to think about! Otherwise I just get bogged down again in wondering about the logistics of GSW injuries.) Ctrl + Z I loved it, but my parents and I could not stop laughing during the entire resurrection scene. "So I guess everybody's actively dying and no one can help us, but it's cool. Just gimme some of that tank serum (totally valid medical term) and mix it with water (just your basic home remedy recipe), and then we'll suffocate them back to life and five minutes later their mortal wounds will be fine and we can get on with the real problems." A.K.A. So there's example 57 or so of an entire episode's worth of possible plot being pushed aside because this show refuses to take a breath. We could have wrung so much more emotion out of Clementine, whilst ignoring her own signs of labor, trying to triage her father, grandfather, adoptive mother, surrogate uncle I'm pretending she is already attached to more than I'm sure she is, and other surrogate uncle who is also her best chance of saving her baby, the most important of all, if something goes wrong in delivery. ...and GDI now I gotta go find a special episode of Grey's Anatomy to get my mass tragedy fix. But I'm grateful that even at Zoo speed, they still gave me a little taste (in two flavors!) of people suffering the after-effects of injuries the serum couldn't fully fix. You're Responsible, You're the One to Blame, It's Your Fault :( to everyone being too busy hating her to notice Jamie cradling a clearly injured arm. But I love absolutely every sentence in this 7-way argument, including but not limited to Mitch's strangled "are you full term? how long was I out?!", the group-wide reveal of when exactly Mr. Duncan disappeared, Jackson's deadly-quiet anger, Jamie's valid defense of her actions, Mitch trying to take his daughter and blow this popsicle stand at a doubled-over limp, Clem taking her sweet time mentioning the quarantine, Max and Jamie's "oh" realizations about the plane, and Mitch's fabulously cranky echo and "what now" attitude. Last but far from least, the disgusted "I can't even look at you" was kind of my favorite part? I dig it when one member of an OTP is that intensely furious at the other out of hurt. (see also: Castle at the end of season 4)

A+ Comic Relief Laughing for 1 million years at Clem hopping off the exam table pantsless while all the men in the vicinity double take and look away* (except for Sam, whom Mitch hilariously whacks on the arm for his impudence, in my favorite sight gag since "Special Consultant") *the fact that Abe also does this, while understandably instinctive and appropriately respectful, is also kind of hilarious given where he just was

Oh My Darling(s, Sam &) Clementine (who can't make a good shipmanteau to save their life) I don't have enough interest to do it myself, but it sure sounds like the story of how they met would make a pretty great YA novel plot. Anyone who doesn't actually want to spend the month trying to be a paid author need a NaNoWriMo prompt? Particularly someone who likes world-building, because this show leaves things wide open to fill in the details of U.S. society outside New York and the plane. Speaking of which! Did Clem happen to share with him the part of her backstory about being raised as an orphan basically the same way for the same reason? Because that seems like it would decently bond them. I like this parallel. Also update, I am getting a lot fonder of his face, mostly because he shut up and stayed out of the way except when I needed him to chime in to be sweet and supportive of Clementine (or side with her dad about ranking her over the baby on the priority list). He seems like he's really tried/is trying to be a good partner, and I'm impressed that he holds his ground despite a faceful of largely unwarranted hostility from her. I might actually be okay with him being the head of his family, even though up until now my head has danced with visions of Clem raising her baby under Mitch (and Jamie)'s purview and/or roof, Last Man Standing style. (although I guess there's always Reba-style, where both young parents are under that roof) (I realize I'm making a lot of assumptions about everyone's ability to stay alive and/or live a semi-normal life)

Beta Ship 2.0 / My Wonderwall** There's something immensely funny to me about the juxtaposition of Jackson being in his Brooding Cave Of Isolated Despair while Tessa is in a brightly ilt location, in the middle of the hustle and bustle and basically being like, "Buck up and stop being so melodramatic." (Jackson: The prophecies have spoken. Food turns to dust in my mouth. A great wave shall fall upon us all. // Tessa: is your plane out of groceries again?) But on a serious note, I love so much that he's thisclose to broken until she pulls him out of it that I'm not even gonna whine about him asking Tessa to do the same thing he's punishing Jamie for. Though in his defense, he did say "stop" her and not "kill her,” which is an important distinction for him. **My friend once wrote a Jim/Pam (The Office) parody of Jim/Pam stories using this title, and that is at least 50% of why I can't take this song seriously even though I actually have always loved it.

I Don't Know What To Do My Whole Brain is Celebrating "How do you know the name of Jamie's scorpion?" "Because my son and Jamie have, uh, very lively pillow talk."** !!!!!!!!!! NO BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.

The fact that Abe pipes up despite a sucking chest wound just so he can help take the mick out of Mitch is glorious. The cranky and ineffectual "shut up" in response is THE BEST. I love that Mitch has just always blatantly refused to publicly acknowledge how he feels about Jamie, despite the fact that everyone and their mother is like, "Oh yeah, I know Mitch. Snarky scientist, walks around with hearts in his eyes to match the one on his sleeve?" (Mitch, in the distance: I do not LOVE her, okay, I just...miss her when she's not around, think about her all the time, and I imagine us one day running towards each other in slow motion and I'm wearing a brown suede vest.) I doubly appreciate this exchange because I was wondering when the hell these people actually sleep and I was getting worried there was no recognizable place in canon that they might have both had a chance to go to bed at the same time. **This writer could not have more clearly been flagging us with a fic prompt. Max Morgan, Love Doctor My very favorite of the small moments in this ep is Max insisting that Mitch let him patch him up. I was all on board for some serious injury, but I loved the subversion of his attention being caught by the scars I thought the show had forgotten about instead. "Oh, Mitch."

That just kills me. I want to unpack their relationship right here so much more, but also, it's 7pm on the night of new Zoo. Suffice to say Mitch isn't the only parent who suffers over the thought of his kid being in pain tonight, and that's beautiful. And gosh do I love him quietly, individually, nudging Mitch and Jamie back towards each other. The promise that Mitch will understand eventually was an immediate balm upon my soul. If Max says a thing about my ship, it must be true! Mitch + Being A Mess of Emotions About His Daughter (if anyone wanted to make a gifset off of this theme I would not be opposed) Words cannot express how thrilled I am that Mitch gives zero bothers about Sam's baby daddy rights and takes up prime positioning to stroke Clementine's hair nonstop throughout the whole labor,* even stealing the requisite final "you can do this" encouragement. He also gets to be the first one to hold the baby and it's amazing.

* and makes some pretty wonderful faces over how hard it is to see her in pain and not be able to do anything about it -- and remind me I've got either some meta or a story scrap about how this is what Audra was on the front lines for all those years he selfishly hid away, telling himself it was for the best P.S. As much as I love that Mitch just falls apart in full Worried Dad mode and can't seem to process a single medical term or physical symptom as it pertains to pregnancy, you know that if Abe weren't a sex doctor and the writers weren't butts, Mitch would absolutely be whipping out the stethoscopes and telling us all about the time he delivered a baby gorilla so this is basically the same thing -- I imagine Clem would take loud offense here -- while roping in Jamie as a delivery nurse to follow his instructions to the letter (because there are some things fathers just should not do no matter how brilliant they are). Things I would like to know Why Mitch -- who apparently had a through and through -- is the only one whose gunshot wound is still bothering him Why Clementine didn't once ask where Jamie was. (at which point I'd really like to see Mitch try and explain that one.)

It is straight up ridiculous to me that 19-year-old girl in labor, surrounded by men, would not want a woman with her, particularly one she loves. This is the most "what...man...[wrote] this" moment I have ever had about TV.

Did I just miss it, or is it kinda weird that Sam doesn't bat an eye upon finding out Charles Duncan is actually a different person and his girlfriend's father?

Leftover Thoughts

This show is so nuts, I am just now realizing I didn't even stop to wonder how the hell Abigail reanimated herself last week before now.

Mitch being a testy bitch @ Abe is a thing that just does not get old. ("You put hybrid goo in my daughter? Was that not worth a little chat?")

Aww @ Mitch's mini pep-talk about being a good parent, followed by the "OK time to go" and the sweet "I'm having this baby?" / "You are having this baby."

I also really enjoy Mitch deciding to be cranky about Sam just because he's there and he can. It's kinda like sniping at Logan, but more fun and with way better reasons. (Which I hope is exactly what Mitch says when Clementine inevitably tells him to knock it off)

"Goodbye frequent flyer miles" lmao

I love that instead of shutting down the beacon by cutting the wire, they multiplied its effect by a thousand and destroyed a city, to which the response is basically, "Whoops."

"You've been good for my son. Take care of him for me." So I LOVE THIS, but also: dammit Max that is not what "die for our ship" means.

But I love the moment where Jamie and Max, individually, hear the baby crying. The joy dawning on their faces is so pure it actually makes it worthwhile that they're not present at the birth itself.

(I know we're especially mad about Jamie. But honestly, if it means All Mitch All The Time, that's an OK trade to me.)

tl;dr if something is not mentioned please assume I loved it

COMING SOON:

(will be links shortly) Mini essays analyzing Jamie V. Jackson, Mitch/Jamie and Max's death.

In conclusion: I spent my entire night writing this, but it was worth it. Future Me is gonna love looking back.

#cbs zoo #episode reactions #zoo 3.11 #2200 words AND THIS ISN'T EVEN ALL OF IT #most of the Mitch and Jamie analysis is yet to come

7 notes · View notes

starryfictionalgirl · 8 years ago

Text

You’re Welcome (Fanfiction Author Version)

Ok, ok, I see what's happening here

You found this new fic I wrote, and it's strange

You don't even know how you feel

It's adorable!

Well, it's nice to see that fangirls and fanboys never change

Open your eyes, let's begin

Yes, it's really me, it's the Author: breathe it in! I know it's a lot: the fluff, the angst!

When you're staring at your favorite fics!

What can I say except you're welcome

For the feels, the smut, the guys!

Hey, it's okay, it's okay

You're welcome

I'm just an ordinary fangirl or guy! Hey!

What has two hours and feels to share

When you were complaining about that last episode

This guy!

When the fandoms on hiatus got cold

Who stole you feels from down below

You're lookin' at ‘em, yo

Oh, also I brought that character back to life,

You're welcome!

To stretch their days and bring you fun

Also I wrote something about that pairing you love,

You're welcome!

To fill the ship’s sails because it’s my OTP!

So what can I say except you're welcome

For the “ships” that I pulled from the “sea”

There's no need to beg for an update, it's okay

You're welcome!

Ha, I guess it's just my way of being me

You're welcome!

Well, come to think of it

Guys, honestly I can go on and on

I can explain every fandom phenomenon

The crack-ships, M-preg fics and all that weird stuff you found, oh

That was the fans just messing around

The show killed a guy, and buried his guts

I wrote a fic where he comes back and the fans went nuts

What's the lesson

What is the take-away

Don't mess with authors when they’re writing away!

And that link to my masterlist where all my stories have been,

Is a map of the fandoms I’m in

Look what I’ve written,

I make everything happen,

Look at that author just tippity-typin'

Well, anyway let me say you're welcome

For the wonderful world of fan fiction you know

Hey, it's okay, it's okay

You're welcome!

Well, come to think of it, I gotta go write some more!

Hey, it's your day to say you're welcome

'Cause I'm gonna write about that “ship”

I'm sailing away, away

You're welcome!

'Cause it seems nowadays “ships” can do anything but float

You're welcome!

And thank you for commenting and liking!

Go thank all of your fan fiction Authors for writing such amazing and creative stories! Be sure to like and comment because they don’t get paid money for this they get paid in compliments! This song is a parody of You’re Welcome sung by Dwayne Johnson and written by Lin-Manuel Miranda for the Disney film Moana!

113 notes · View notes

idolisnotdead · 8 years ago

Text

Seiko Oomori - kitixxxgaia - Review

If you’ve read this blog before, you probably have a pretty good idea of my completely unbiased admiration for Seiko Oomori and everything she does. “Unbiased”.

So let’s just get to it. Less than a year, by about two weeks maybe to be precise, Seiko Oomori follows up her critically acclaimed major sophomore album (fourth overall) TOKYO BLACK HOLE with something even bigger, even more political, even more honest, and even more ambitious. I’m going to start off by changing my previous opinion. TOKYO BLACK HOLE is like an 8.5 now. Stay with me, here now and buckle up; we’re going for a ride, my friends.

The same week the United States got unleashed with the marvel of Drake’s More Life – a notably emotional return to form that also doesn’t shy away too far from the newer territory Toronto’s first celebratory hero has been invading – Japan was hit with something similarly parallel. Seiko Oomori gave us her fifth album kitixxxgaia on March 15th. Just like Drizzy, Seiko has given us an equally emotional experience, that still covers her recent sounds while almost giving us a slight return to her punk roots save for the general lack of an obvious acoustic guitar in most of the mixes (though it’s worth noting that it’s still there, just buried in the mix; I’ll get to why such a jam-packed mix actually works in a minute).

It’s amazing to see that the west and the east were both delivered promising projects by two of their biggest masters of music and emotion. It’s amazing to see just how far some shitty kid from Koenji has come in just five years since her official debut PINK in 2012. It’s amazing to think that that’s six albums if you count PINK, seven if you count the mostly self-covering Pink Tokarev album of 2015, which was otherwise an off-year for everyone’s favorite singer to imitate.

The only word I can describe how kitixxxgaia sounds with is “big”. And several other adjectives. Maybe “gigantic”. Maybe “colossal”. It’s a fucking huge album, pardon my French. This is potentially Seiko’s first Ringo Sheena-level album (let’s just forget that SUNNY happened for a minute). There’s a lot of religious imagery and a heavy aesthetic. I’d highly suggest on your first listen, you watch the music videos for every song that has one. So start with the “Dogma Magma” video, then the “Hikokuminteki Hero” video, listen to “IDOL SONG” normally, then when “Gutto Kuru Summer” comes along, watch that video too. And so on.

kitixxxgaia is heavy in its use of a very specific aesthetic, which takes influence from Christianity (and a hint of Mexican-style Christianity at that), weddings, quite a bit of Dadaism, and it’s all absolutely drenched in shades of pink and lighter blues. It’s the kind of album that’s best to be experienced both by listening and watching, as I said before. There are heaps of promotional images that came along with the album and the original “holy trinity” singles that lead up to its release, and I’d suggest maybe even just looking through those around Twitter and wherever else you can find them (maybe I’ll compile what I can find and make a post later this week) while you listen to the songs that aren’t accompanied by music videos. It’s the kind of multi-media work that could induce a sensory-overload in someone with synesthesia, like myself.

Now before I even get into the music of it, I want to point out the name of the album itself. Just the name kitixxxgaia (say it in English how you want, I generally say “Kitty Gaia”), much like her lyrics, takes some wordplay. In Japanese, the word “kichigai” - short for “[anta no] ki ga chigaimasu”, though nobody would ever say it that formally - is essentially the closest the Japanese language can get to the level of offense that words like (cover your children’s eyes) “fuck” or “cunt”. It doesn’t mean the same thing, but it’s that sort of level of offense, though deeper seeing as Japan is culturally much more introverted than we are over here.

Kichigai could loosely be translated to “you’re fucking crazy, man; you’re out of your goddamn mind.” Not in like a “woah dude that’s a fucking siiiick tattoo of a wolf” kind of way, though. It’s an insult, not a term of endearment. Adding the “a” to the end, Seiko turns it into “kichigaia” (キチガイア). After a day or two, she officially changed the name to romaji, now calling it “kitixxxgaia”, censoring it (possibly for management, cultural, and radio airplay reasons, but we don’t know specifically) by making it English and with three x’s in the middle. This name, to me, holds two simultaneous meanings, again, much like her signature style of lyricism.

The “kiti” could be interpreted as “kitschy”, a word referring to style in poor taste, much like our girl Seiko’s aesthetic. The word “gaia” is the personification of our planet Earth in ancient Greek texts. So it’s a “Kitschy World”.

“kitixxxgaia” in its original meaning, “Crazy Fucking World”.

Now to the music: Seiko has never let us down with a strong opener, and this might be the most in-your-face, unexpected opener, titled “Dogma Magma”. “Come on up to the emotional stage!” she blurts out before a gong bangs in your face; the remainder of the measure in silence before another hits with a choir on top, just underneath a piano playing downward arpeggios, and below that, some intricate string work, each instrument holding its breath. After the four bar intro, we crescendo up to the main song. Enter a not-quite shibuya-kei type beat – syncopated and staccato-like drums underneath a jittery, major piano progression. Behind it all is Seiko’s voice distorted, seemingly having a conversation with God.

As the filter cuts off, Seiko enters with some of her most provoking, forward lyrics ever written: (rough translation by yours truly): "Once upon a time there was something other than [just] male and female. Once upon a time there was something other than [just] white, black, and yellow [people]. Once upon a time there was something other than [just] yes and no. These things had always always existed, but it was then instead decided that they didn’t [exist].” she sings, touching on the recently hot topics of gender, race, and consent.

She continues “When I opened my eyes I was Japanese. I’m a goddess but I’m too uncomfortable in this inconvenient body to go outside without makeup on.”, a clear reference to body positivity clashing with self-esteem issues, and likely even cultural pressure in Japanese society. “Dogma Magma” has cuts into a more punk style chorus, reminiscent of “Magic Mirror”. “What will you do during the revolution? Just one heart? Fuck you, fuck [you] all, because this is war!” There she is. That’s the Seiko we know and love.

Track three is of note because it sort of takes me back to when she used to advertise herself as an idol during the Zettai Shoujo era for extra shock value. A clever parody on idol music and culture, “IDOL SONG” could almost pass off as a generic denpa song à la Band Ja Naimon!.

“JI・MO・TO no Kao Kawaii Tomodachi” (roughly “JI・MO・TO’s Cute-Faced Friend”) is certainly one of her most out-there songs, with a catchy, sugary hook, an almost rap verse not too different from what she did with “Zettai Kanojo”. It’s light, it’s bouncy, and it’s really good. This whole album is really good. Good. Good. Good. Good. It’s good music (Cruel Winter, when? I need answers, Kanye!).

Speaking of rapping, two songs later, Seiko gives us the ultimate collab for this generation of J-pop. Much like Ringo Sheena and Utada Hikaru’s “Nijikan Dake no Vacation” (roughly “A Vacation For Just The Two Of Us”), “Chikyuu Saigo no Futari” (roughly: “The Last Two People on Earth”) opens up eerily, with a huge texture and an oozing sub bass that launches into this groovy, dark, rhythmic masterpiece. Seiko begins “Dora-chan, warmest welcome to the 21st century, where mass production has made humans more like robots. Justice is brought by violence, the death penalty is given immediately unless you’re cute.” Seiko is soon interrupted: “I’m being forced to be stupid, these frames in front of me are out of my league. Fuck you, guidance! In my head, I’m punk.” Is that voice DAOKO? You bet your ass it is, and she is spitting that truth all over this track.

God there’s so much more to cover for this album but I really don’t want to ruin too much of it by blabbing on. Up next, continuing with the album’s religious themes “Pink Methuselah” brings a familiar sound with a twist – once it kicks in, it’s very clearly Kenta Sakurai (ex. Izukoneko, current Maison Book Girl, TOKYO BLACK HOLE’s “SHINPIN” producer) behind the producer’s chair on this one, but unlike “SHINPIN” from Seiko’s previous album, it’s not just another Sakurai song. It’s very clear how much Seiko added on top of what he did, and it’s like the perfect blend of both of their signature styles.

The album also features a menacing, full-piano self-cover of °C-ute’s “Mugen Climax”, a song that Seiko wrote for the extremely popular Hello! Project group. Now, she’ll never avoid Ringo Sheena comparisons – after all, Oomori’s debut album Mahou Ga…’s artwork pays direct tribute to Sheena’s legendary 2000 album Shouso Strip’s artwork - but what hearing this self-cover (which makes °C-ute’s version almost unlistenable) makes me want is a self-cover album from Seiko once she garners enough writing credits, much like Ringo Sheena’s Utaite Myouri.

The thing here about kitixxxgaia is that the album finishes off differently depending on the version you have. There are three versions: Dogma, Karma, and Gaia. Every version comes with a second “disc” that’s a DVD/Blu Ray; Dogma comes with a live Blu Ray of ZEPP Tokyo stop of the Tokyo Black Hole Tour, Gaia comes with live audio of that same show as well as a DVD of all of the album’s music videos, and Karma comes with a live DVD of a few different shows from last year. Each version also has a key difference to the main album – the final track is different.

As my personal recommendation, Dogma is the ideal version. Karma and Gaia finish off with new songs, but Dogma closes out with an acoustic re-recording of the Zettai Shoujo single “Kimi to Eiga” (literally: “Movie With You”). Since the closest thing we get to ‘acoustic’ on kitixxxgaia is “Mugen Climax” and “Orion Za”, this is a necessity to the album’s closure and really puts into perspective just how far Seiko has come since her humble beginnings.

The Karma song is called “Ramen no Hanashi” (literally “Ramen Conversation”) and the Gaia song is called “M”. “M” is another piano song, cutting in at just over 6 minutes. “Ramen no Hanashi” also does a similar job to “Kimi to Eiga”, being a full-acoustic track, and it’s a bonus that it’s a new song as well, so if you’re looking for a fully new experience or you’re not familiar with the Zettai Shoujo classic, maybe the Karma version is more for you. Either way, it’s a really nice way to end the album with some retrospect.

IDOL iS NOT DEAD gives kitixxxgaia a perfect 10/10. 11/10. Screw it. Whatever. It’s so goddamn good, just stop reading and go listen oh my god

13 notes · View notes

nyxcharliechaos · 5 years ago

Text

Christmas Carol Parody

Ok so here’s a little story parody of a Christmas carol i wrote with my oc’s for fun it wasn’t read by a friend so I’m sorry if my grammar’s bad I tried anyways if you want to give constructive criticism go ahead it’s greatly appreciated IDK about posting full stories to this site so if you have anything to say about that uhh go ahead anyways I hope you can find some enjoyment out of this. also sorry the endings a bit rushed I wasn’t sure what to do with it.

“Merry Christmas!” shouted the carollers outside, after a double take the carollers appeared to be Ricin’s classmates from his drama class, this only served to make his mood even worse “Bah Humbug” Ricin said realizing just how obvious of a quote that was, *KNOCK KNOCK* they must be here to spread ‘Christmas cheer’ ,Ricin was sure one of his siblings would answer, the door knocked again wanting them to leave but not have to talk to them the hybrid called for one of his siblings “Cyanide, Botox, Arsenic, Mercury!” none replied a third knock “damn it” Ricin gritted his teeth as he opened the door almost immediately started to sing “we wish you a merry Christmas we wish….” the lyrics annoying him more and more “ FUCK OFF!” Ricin shouted as he slammed the door in his classmates faces returning to his room with the coke he had grabbed “this was not worth having to hear those assholes” looking out his window he saw they were still there, “great”.

“You ok Nyx?” Courage asked pulling out a spare handkerchief from his vest pocket “yeah yeah I’m fine...huh guess stopping here was a dumb idea” Nyx replied and the group just shrugged, Ricin scoffed at them “Chaos’ fault for getting their face to close to the door...what idiots” Ricin decided to just try and enjoy his drink.

Hours later Ricin was getting ready for bed switching his day clothes for PJ’s, as he put on a pair of pyjamas with nuclear symbols on them on he heard an odd noise followed by the sight of his usual poison apple tee floating in the air a voice booming “ok you scrooge you know how this game works you’ll be visited by 3 spirits to try and make you less of an asshole” Ricin only reacted with confusion “what?” he asked the spirit in confusion “well judging by the look of your room you’re a theater kind so I thought you knew how this whole christmas carol thing goes, or are you just that much of a scrooge?” the spirit asked back, Ricin blinked twice before replying “well in the actual story isn’t it usually someone the scrooge knows that warns them?” “oh yeah no not when it’s these spirits...yeah sorry you’ve got the back ups” the spirit explained “ok seriously heed my warning though” and with that, the stranger left.

Ricin while taking this seriously knew the story well enough to know he can still get some sleep...or at least that’s what he thought “greetings lil’ toxin time to see your past” the face of confusion and shock wasn’t what this new spirit had been expecting, “hmm oh I’m Jack Holidayz now seeing as this is a pretty old story” Holidayz that name was so familiar but Ricin couldn’t put his finger on why not that he had time to figure out why before being dragged out his window and affected by some sort. “Welcome to your childhood are you ready to see why you hate this holiday so much” before Ricin could even reply “oh wait I almost forgot” with a boop to the nose Ricin was changed into an animal form looking like a bird snake same as him though something seeming off most likely due to his phantom heritage. In the window of Ricin’s old house was a young him, his mom was gone as per usual, no dad, his siblings that aren’t out fighting, and there was him a scowl on his face just wanting this damn holiday to end. A silence grew between Ricin and Jack “is this how it always was? Lonely with fights?” Ricin turned his head and nodded “ok i’m not supposed to show you others past but I’ll make an exception” Ricin once again confused opened his mouth to question the spirit but before he could he got his answer “I think seeing some others past so you can see how they reacted different to their negative experiences, maybe that can help you rethink this” and they were off again. “Welcome to Courage's past” Ricin had to do a double take “that mutt from my class, the one that always hangs with that weird hybrid Xzim?” ‘mhm’ hummed Jack, looking in the window Ricin saw the scruffy mutt looking surprisingly less scruffy then he did at current day, Courage looked at the tree curled up covered in blankets on a pillow fort, “his dad’s always extremely busy on Christmas to this day this is how most of his Christmas’ look like...it’s an improvement from before his adoption sure but it’s hard to get much worse than no holidays and being thrown against a wall” Jack was taking very bluntly and his tone reflected that but the look in his eyes showed sorrow and empathy for the mutt ‘ahem’”next up” stopping at another house in the trailer park the two looked into the window again “you know Lucy from your theater class” Ricin nodded “this is her cousin she’s in one of the local street gangs I think” that last bit surprised Ricin who’s eyes widened “oh that has nothing to do with this I’m just saying, anyways you see she did have a decent Christmas probably the best out of the few I’m showing you” Ricin noticed that the girls mom didn’t appear to be anywhere “her mom’s neglectful but that’s for the best in this situation since her moms also homophobic ,not the best situation for a lesbian, however she also wasn’t aloud to see her other family” Ricin became increasingly more concerned but before he could ask he was whisked away to the last stop. “And here we have Frankies” Ricin immediately noticed that they weren’t in Arcania anymore this neighbourhood was to white even for December all the houses looked the same white and light blue, Ricin be lying if he said it didn’t creep him out at least a little, moving his head back to the window he saw Frankie much younger and with what looked like a buzz cut and a scowl across their face, they were almost unrecognizable from the long haired happy green mamba Ricin had seen at the school, at first Ricin couldn’t tell what was so off but then Jack simply said “Their parents are christian extremist, a non-binary bisexual with some sort of mental health you can see the problem” it was then Ricin took notice of the crosses located every where and who he assumed was Frankie’s father reading the holy bible, he knows not all christians are that bad but the use of the word extremist gave him an immediate understanding of why.

“so that’s why they runaway” Ricin whispered under his breath, everyone knew Frankie was a runaway so was Addison but know one really knew why other than their friends.

Ricin turned to see himself in front of Nyx’s mansion with a new spirit in front of him, the spirit ran up to him and grabbed his had jumping up and down as she shook it and him “I’m Candy Holidayz ,are you ready to see how those three are treating this Christmas despite those” Ricin face said it all, Candy pulled him up to his feet which cause him to realize he had returned to his normal form, no time to figure that out though looking in he saw the three along with Nyx, Gene, and a student he recognized as she often spent time with Lucy’s cousin but he didn’t know her name, and last was Addi the other runaway, the teens were joyfully singing Christmas songs, the two sat quietly until the song was over “So who else is ready for Black Christmas, Krampus, and candy cane cult” Nyx asked to cheers from their friends “Why are they watching horror movies and some cheesy slasher from the eighties?” Ricin questioned “Everyone has their way of celebrating not all of them even celebrate Christmas but they’re all having fun and making the best of the situation sure not everyone can do that but if you have the option to then go for it” Ricin went quite in thought, it took him a minute to realize he was at Taylor’s house looking in he saw the sporty gator his best friend having tons of fun, he thought about how she had invited him to hangout so he wouldn’t be alone this Christmas and how he had gotten her a gift but in the end decided against it. “Do you have anything to say?” he questioned the spirit...no response.

Rather suddenly he saw he was back in his room but something seemed off he looked and saw the picture of him and Taylor at a sports game of some sort Taylor had insisted he joined her to go to wasn’t there nor was any proof of their friendship, “Shit” Ricin said under his breath “Is this what’ll happen if I don’t improve?” ‘Yep” a familiar voice said, Ricin turned around to see the third spirit “ASH?!” Ricin yelled in bewilderment, “you’re the I guess spirit of Christmas future” “Yeah? Who did you expect?” seeing Ricin’s face Ash continued a bit more annoyed ”I’ve mentioned multiple times in class my parents are the spirits of Halloween and Christmas and the last name Holidayz should have been a dead giveaway” Ricin felt rather dumb now for not realizing that sooner “So if I don’t improve I won’t have a friend anymore” the thought of losing his only friend almost physically hurt, “Yes, though admittedly my siblings and I may not have been who you needed to see, you don’t have much reason to hate the holiday but you already hate everyone and act like an ass” Ricin looked as if he was about to punch Ash in the face” ...ok my point is our visit was to tell you you need to be more positive I understand not everyone can but you have an opportunity like my sister told you earlier so go take it” Ricin in a rare moment took this to heart “Thank you” “Now before I leave” Ash’s smile became creepy and sinister as they grabbed Ricin and threw him out the window, falling head first.

Ricin woke up screaming, funny he didn’t remember falling asleep regardless he called Taylor and asked if he could hangout or if have a sleepover.

“Wait so why did we do that?” Ash asked their siblings, the two stared at each other before shrugging “Well” standing up Ash yelled “MERRY CHRISTMAS”.

#oc #ocs #writing #a christmas carol #parody #or inspiration #take your pick #christmas

0 notes

canaryatlaw · 8 years ago

Text

Alright, it's late and thankfully I don't have to wake up at any specific time but I do still have to get work done and be productive tomorrow (ugh) so I should get this done and go to sleep. Today was pretty good all in all. Alarm went off at 9, got ready and checked my app to see when my bus was coming only to find it WASN'T coming, and the next bus was a full half an hour away and I can't do that shit so I obviously needed an alternative route. So I walked to the red line instead like I was going to school and then once I got to the loop transferred to the blue line and took that the rest of the way to church, so it worked out alright but I was a few minutes later than I would've preferred. Oh well. I was in the nursery for the first service, and thankfully we had ample help show up because there were only two of us signed up online and for the 11 am that could be a bit much. There were a good number of babies, fairly quiet which is always appreciated, no big crying episodes that required texting parents, so that was good. Got to hold a variety of cute babies at different points that did various cute things, lol. Towards the end once almost all of them had been picked up already this one adorable little girl that's almost 2 was getting quite distressed and had me pick her up and just wait by the gate for a solid ten minutes while her parents talked in the lobby haha. A lot of times the babies will actually get anxious and upset when they see other babies being picked up and they haven't been yet, so I could deal with that. We were supposed to have two people signed up for the 12:30 service and one showed up, I can't really blame the other because she's a high schooler and comes with her family so I know when she doesn't make it it's probably not her fault, so I try to stick around enough to make sure nobody gets stranded alone with like 6 babies (and babies legit come in through the like, entire service, so you never know). So I ended up staying through the 12:30 service which was fine. I was a little sad about missing the sermon because I'll be gone next week too, but my tiny girl came for the last service so I got to play with her a lot and just have her generally be adorable, and she's gonna be 2 soon and move up to the 2 year olds room so I'm trying to play with her while I can, lol. She's so cute, she like walks in with her mom and sisters and just opens the gate and walks in all on her own, it's adorable. She'd like, just learning to talk and says a few words, so we were repeating different things to her to see if she'd say it back with like word association and such. At one point I was sitting with her and she looks at me and is just like "mama?" and I was like "no I'm not mama silly" and she just gets this confused look on her face and is like "dada..?" Lol it was really adorable. Whenever I try to get her to say my name she just looks at me and is like "no" which is also very cute and I know Rachel isn't generally an easy name for babies to get down lol so it's all good. The other baby we had had been in the 11 o clock as well and is usually fine but towards the end of the service he had reached his limit and started doing the screaming crying thing where they face gets all red and they sometimes forget to breathe (which scares the fuck out of me) and that didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon when a bottle and the offer of rest failed, so we ended up calling his mom which was fine with her, she knew it was a lot for a 10 month old to be in a different environment like that for an extended period of time. So yeah, overall it was quite the successful babies day. I just really love babies, can't tell? Lol. By the time I was leaving church t was like 2 and I was supposed to be at the mock trial scrimmage starting at 2, they knew I would be late but I said I'd get there ASAP so I got an uber there for the like, 10 minute drive to the school. The driver was a nice guy, he was telling me he had to cancel the one before me because this lady tried to bring her 16 month old into the car without a car seat and he was like no way lady I have kids I'm not doing that, and I was of course appalled that someone would ever think that's okay (if you're thinking well maybe they could afford one the pick up was in the west loop which is definitely one of the more affluent areas, so that's pretty unlikely to be the case). So I was at least happy to hear he was like yeah no way am I letting that happen. Got to school soon enough and ran up to the room. They hadn't started yet and were still kind of setting up, we'd end up waiting a good deal longer because one of the girls that's on the defense for our other team just didn't show and apparently may have gotten a concussion yesterday and didn't tell her coaches or anything???? And like we go to competition this Thursday?? So that can be all sorts of problematic. She didn't end up showing and I missed the final ruling on if she said she'd make it to competition or not, but that would royally suck if she couldn't. So for purposes of the scrimmage my partner got pulled in to be the other defense lawyer but we only got halfway through the case so he didn't end up doing much. The scrimmage went fine, I got to play my witness for the first time and try out my emotional responses and everything. It's weird because I'm playing the witness for the prosecution that I'll end up crossing on defense (obviously against a different prosecution) and of course the case theory is "the other parent did it" and at this point we have both parents being played by women so genders keep getting mixed up lol and like when I'm being crossed on it I'm thinking like what I would want a witness to say if I asked that question which can kind of mess with the answers I should give, lol. It was mostly good though. I was told I seemed to be "on the verge of tears" the whole time which is what I was going for, I'd like to possibly get some actual tears in there but I have no clue if that'll ever actually happen lol. We'll see. The girl who was missing was the one that crossed my character, so I was the only one there that crossed that character and I wanted to practice doing it as the witness so one of the coaches ended up reading my questions to me lol and as said above it was interesting. We stopped at that point though because it was getting late. Headed home and did my best to dive into my LARC work, which I'm still totally frustrated with, but I got a good amount of fixing up the first part with the edits my prof gave. The whole thing now is I have to write the "second issue" in the memo and it's really not clear what that is?? I messaged a classmate and asked and she didn't respond for a few hours so I messaged another one, and a few minutes later they both responded at the same time with totally different answers, haha so that's not terribly helpful but one said she was asking the prof so I asked her to let me know what the prof says, so hopefully that'll help. I spent a little time writing in some supplementary questions for my cross depending on what evidence gets in, and then wrote up a motion in limine to try and get the protective order excluded from evidence on the grounds that the burden of proof for receiving one is significantly lower than beyond a reasonable doubt and it's likely to be both prejudicial and confusing to the jury. I don't expect it to work because it's kind of a novel argument, but I think it's solid enough that it'll score us a few points for being inventive and such. Of course it's based largely on my own experience working with orders of protection at the DV clinic which is why I know all this shit to begin with. The only thing is only one team member can present the motions in limine and my partner is doing it (while I'm responding to the other side's) so I had to send it to him and explain it a bit, and I think he has enough of a handle on it to not mess it up too badly (I'm trying really hard to be patient with him because I know it isn't his fault that he doesn't know what he's doing but he doesn't know what he's doing and it's endlessly frustrating). When I finished with that I turned on crazy ex girlfriend and finished the rest of season 1. I would say I'd do a write up of my thoughts on it soon but tbh there is zero chance I'm going to have the time or energy to do that any time soon so I'll just put a few brief thoughts here. I love the ridiculous songs and how they parody classic musical theatre numbers perfectly, this show is 100% written by theatre people haha and it's great. I feel like Rebecca is me in a lot of ways haha and not just the whole (naturally) brown hair blue eyes, from New York, being a lawyer thing, but she's very relatable overall and I appreciate that. I'm not sure how I feel about the romance aspects. Obviously her romance with josh isn't going to last because then the show wouldn't have any premise to base its second season on, so something will happen there with Josh. Greg is kind of a dick though??? Like I feel like we're supposed to be rooting for him as the "nice guy" (blech) but he's actually so aggravating it drives me nuts. But yeah, overall really appreciate the show and am excited to watch the next season, and that's it for today. Tomorrow I have to get a shit ton of work done, so yay me I should get some sleep now. Goodnight mates. Have a non-sucky Monday.

#daily journal #February 2017

0 notes