#feeling fragile about him
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⋅˚₊‧ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ‧₊˚⋅
#will u allow me to post more gifs of this#too late#luke hemmings#lrhedit#*#luke#feeling fragile about him
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Last part for old GF sketches
(Actually, most of these aren't old at all, but their average is brought down by the last picture, which I drew back in August and kept forgetting to post)
#fanart#drawing#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#i wish more people talked about Ford's piano skills#and his shadow puppet skills#i forgot what i was thinking when i rushed these out#something about Ford only taking pride in his skills because of how other people (ie Stanley) appreciate them#and how he attributes everything exceptional about himself to his hands bc that's where his deepest insecurities/motivations come from#but that isn't something Stan or most people think about at all#but he also IS really talented#and so he gets this big fragile ego#stemming from his mother and brother's praise#but also filbrick's neglect#so it's like outside validation is a substitute/reminder of the people that really loved him#bht also he thinks he's different from them and better than them#but he does love them#and he likes making them proud because he likes seeing them happy#maybe he doesn't know how else to make people happy#something something#Stan being his biggest supporter is a double edged sword#because his opinion matters the most and then he's gone#and Ford doesnt have anyone to show off to anymore#OR anyone who can call him a showoff when he gets too into his own head#OR the person he was pitted against in the first place that made him feel special#because- knowingly or not- they always compared themselves#idk man#Ford is an interesting guy and his head fascinates me
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Luo Binghe? Sorry, I only know Binghorse now.
#poorly drawn svsss#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#binghorse#Long time no Scum Villain art! I missed drawing them!#Binghorse stole my heart...The most evolved form of the Svsss skin creature to exist. I love this community's creativity.#Luo Binghe is the horse boy of all time. Looks handsome. Could kick you to death. Paradoxically fragile.#This art came about as I was slumped in a miserable (sick) heap -#- knowing I needed to draw something but lacking the energy to do a comic. Despairing another missed day of uploading.#When suddenly...Binghorse appeared in my mind. My energy returned. My mission was clear. I had to draw him.#This was nothing short of a true revitalization of creative passion. Praise be to binghorse. Hairlessness truly is holiness.#In my defense I can't swallow my own spit without it feeling like shards of glass right now. Let me have my delirium moment.
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If I'm so happy How am I losing all this sleep?
#watch out im on my james blake hype again#honestly idk what im gonna do with myself when i see him at glastonbury and all im thinking about is these dumbos#im really ruminating on the fragile messes they both are at the start of s2 okay i feel possessed#good omens#gomens#good omens 2#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#aziraphale x crowley#crowley x aziraphale#crowley#aziraphale#my gifs#usersugar#tsusermels#userrlorelei#usereena#userlauren
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Moze is initially apprehensive about your and Jiaoqiu's relationship. Not because you're not good for him. You are. You make him smile, you make him laugh, you bring him fresh groceries when he has a hard time leaving the house, you make sure he doesn't just rot in bed all day (although you happily join him for this too). But as Moze comes to acknowledge his past, as he understands more about what it means to have people to care about and who truly care about you, he realizes how hard it is to live without people who mean so much. And if something happens to one of you, will the other survive?
It leaves Moze feeling confused. Is this jealousy? That losing one of you might mean losing you both, without care for what happens to the rest of them.
On some level, you all live dangerous lives, even if Jiaoqiu doesn't work for anyone but Feixiao anymore and diviners are fairly well guarded when they are near the battlefield. Moze knows it won't happen yet, that you are not yet so tied together, but he worries for Jiaoqiu and his fragile heart.
Moze remains his reticent self when Jiaoqiu talks about you, or when you talk about Jiaoqiu. You are undeniably good for him, and Moze can, with fond begrudging, admit Jiaoqiu is good for you too. And slowly, Moze's apprehension transforms into a more worn, tired worry touched with curiosity.
For so many years, stronger feelings have felt burned out of him. With no one to respond to his cries, they had died before they could lay half-formed in his chest. And although it is a gentle thing, the love between you and Jiaoqiu is strong enough to make Moze unsure. All he can do is keep you alive when he can. For Jiaoqiu's sake. He's not willing to let a thing like love keep you all from sharing the life you have been given.
#hg.post#jiaoqiu#jiaoqiu x reader#moze#hsr#i think moze's feelings around romantic love are complicated at best#it's like he doesn't understand it#but “love” or “devotion” was one of the things used as an excuse to harm him in the past#so he immediately sees the danger in it#one of the side quests has you meeting an elderly foxian man who lost his wife#and a heliobus is both trying to understand and alleviate this man's guilt#if you're with him long enough#I think it's safe to say Jiaoqiu would become a shell of himself if he lost his mate#he's getting better at it#but he has a heart capable of incredible empathy and love#and it's what makes him fragile#loss touches him very deeply#and i think this coupled with his rather glib attitude nominally puts moze off#they care about one another#but moze (who had to suppress many of his emotions and tears) also is perplexed#from the margins#midnight posting
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Wowie rly digging the yandere clone headcanons… how would each react if their darling tried to run away from them?!
You said tried so I assume this was a failed attempt!
Short answer: they get really upset and try making it your fault (shocker.) Ain't no way any of these mfs think they're the problem. Good news! you're mostly unharmed and alive.
This will just be purely writing bc i mostly had thoughts! sorry no drawing this time!!
[cw! mentions of potential harm to reader (no actual harm done), manipulation, toxic relationship dynamics (yandere flavor), obsessive behavior]
Sekido
You're always being hunted the moment the sun comes down and you don't return home in time. Reasons like that are exactly why he hates it when you part from him.
This time is different.. he can't find you in your usual spots. There's no fucking way, right?
How could you.. No, how DARE you? Do you think that he's some joke? That his feelings for you are something that you can run away from like it's nothing?
The second he's sure the sun won't harm him, he's already white knuckling his khakkhara, swinging at anything and everything in his path until he gets to you.
They know how to sense if you're near or not, hell, they probably know how your specific blood type smells like.
Did you think cuddling up to you and memorizing every detail about you was for nothing? Don't be stupid. All he needs is a trace of you and he's gone in the blink of an eye.
You better enjoy running while you can because when he catches you, and he will, those legs of yours won't have much use after he's done with them.
Sekido doesn't WANT to do this, but you honestly give him no choice. After he trusted you enough to stop looking over his shoulder, you do this? How can he ever put any faith in you again!?
On the bright(?) side, Sekido's rage wouldn't be solely on you, it'll ricochet onto everyone, especially the other clones and himself.
They were supposed to be looking after you! But they can't do anything right, even a task as simple as this.
And why did he think it was a good idea to trust them with something of big importance when all they do is fuck everything up!? Everyone's idiocy is rubbing off on him!
The entire time on his search for you, he's cursing and wanting to crush anything he can get his hands on, especially your bones.
He doesn't even bother with speaking to the others, too busy spewing out all sorts of hurtful and frustrated comments about everything.
The brutal thought that you’d rather run away than be with him isn't one he wants to entertain, but it's echoing in his head.
At least, once the other clones get there, Karaku and Aizetsu brawl with Sekido so you're unharmed while Urogi carries you overhead.
Sekido's jealousy flares up when he sees you in Urogi's arms, making him even more pissed if that's even possible. Great, now he looks like the bad guy and the other three, the saviors. Fucking perfect.
There's a lot of yelling and a lot of blood, especially with Urogi making things so much more annoyingly difficult in the air. Karaku and Aizetsu aren't helping. Why is Sekido suddenly the problem?! You ran away!!
But when he calms down enough, he's cursing at everyone through clenched teeth. Sometimes trying to convince the others that you don't even need your legs anyway!!
Once you get back home (or temporary prison until you somehow regain favor), Sekido will eye your legs while gripping his staff from time to time.
Exactly why he's forbidden to be in a room alone with you for a while until he settles down..
He glares at you more often and grows colder than before. Arguments are more common where he twists your words just to have you talk with him and be angry within reason.
Any other type of conversation makes him so irrationally upset that the others need to step in so that he doesn't lose his temper again.
Karaku
The calmest out of the group. He brushes it off as “you're playing hard to get” again, and if he makes a ruckus, you'll scamper back and beg him to stop like always!
Then it gets darker out.. and when Sekido left, he seemed pretty pissed. Like more than usual..... shit.
Karaku sprints after Sekido when it clicks that he's found you. His mind starts reeling, unsure whether he should laugh at the absurdity of your decisions or get pissed off because you didn't even bother to give a hint!
Not like that would do anything aside from give you away but regardless!
Everyone needs to relax, this is obviously something they can sweep under the rug. This isn't that big of a deal and you're just having a fit, but things like these can get you hurt, y'know?
They're fun and all, sure, just maybe give him a heads up next time, yeah? Sekido can't take a joke, you know this!!! Still.. There's a way Karaku can work with this.
He'll be able to swoop in, save you, be your hero, and remind you why staying with him is kinda important. Just in case you forgot~
You don't wanna be out and about without his charming grin and protective hold would you? Don't answer that right now, he has a feeling you'll say something wrong!
Yet.. what if you need a firmer hand to remind you of what Karaku provides? What if you got a little too comfortable being protected so you thought you'd be alright leaving them? Man, who knew you could be spoiled!
Because of this, he would purposely fumble, letting Sekido get near you just so he can stop him at the perfect moment. He purposely gets hit too and makes sure some blood gets near you. To remind you how that could've been yours.
When Sekido calms down, Karaku laughs in your face and would pinch your cheeks if you weren't up in the air with Urogi on the way home.
You should've seen your face! It was really cute~! Maybe getting scared is your thing? He'll note that for later.
He offhandedly advises you not to do things like that all the time, fighting Sekido always kinda sucks, but it's not like you actually had a chance of successfully running away so he won't chastise you too much for it.
That's not his job, and his heart hasn’t pumped that fast in a long time.. not even in a fight! You're so amazing~~
And delusional if you think he's not going to milk this “heroism” thing back there for some extra affection points with you.
Don't be so mean. he got his head blown off twice and jaw dislocated thrice, not to mention everywhere else on his body. Don't you think those parts of him need some extra loving? more than usual?
There's not that much Karaku can say after that aside from reminiscing like it was a funny story. He's not upset about it, mostly a little miffed you got kinda far without him noticing, but he gets over it.
The usual routine starts back up for him when you're back home. It's like nothing happened, but he keeps a closer eye on you since everyone's so tense.
Urogi
If you're not home before the sun sets, Urogi's clawing at the walls with stress. He usually accompanies Sekido to go find you, but this time is different. Urogi could just barely tell you were around.. When Sekido bolts, Urogi's flying as fast as he can, trying to find you first.
You're so far.. you must've gotten kidnapped!!!!!
The stress from before burns into anger, expecting to see someone having their hands on you while you're calling out in vain. How could he let this happen?! Damn sun!
He darts through the skies even faster imagining it, and when he finally reaches you, you look.. fine? and alone. and looking at him like he's the danger. He's here to save you, dummy..
Urogi falls to his knees, burying his face against your stomach and finally wrapping his arms around you again. Your fists violently hit his head and yank fistfuls of hair back, but it doesn't phase him.
Your comforting warmth is back, that's all that matters. And god, your smell.. it's almost making him dizzy. He missed you so much.
There's many holes to the story in Urogi's head as to why you're so far from home, but he fills them in with more convoluted delusions. It's just a peaceful reunion right now..
That is until Sekido finally arrives and starts swinging his khakkhara way too close to your fragile bones.
Now he's back in defense mode where he scoops you up and tries flying out of reach. This is so stressful!!! There's lightning everywhere and he keeps having to dodge the multiple staffs thrown his way.
He shields you with his wings as best he can while trying to stay in the air, so you don't get hurt during Sekido's outburst.
In the skies, it's much clearer to see the hurt behind the haunting glow of Urogi's eyes. Did you care about how he might feel? Did you miss him at all? Did you not feel loved enough? Did someone say something to you?
As he maneuvers the sky, he holds you as tightly as possible, lightly digging his talons into your skin.
Being without you for a couple hours is agonizing enough on its own. If you HAD left him, abandoned, cold, alone.. he doesn't want to think about it. All that matters is that your kidnappers or liars or whatever influenced you are gone, and you're back safe with them!!!
You.. you still like him, right? Of course you do, fate wouldn't force your paths together if it wasn't for a reason!
Coming back home is uncomfortably tense, especially with how violently Aizetsu kicked Urogi across the room, nearly through the wall, when he tried to lick your wounds clean. It really hurt!
When you're patched up, Urogi is ten times as clingy if that's possible. He has his arms looped around you constantly so you can't stray too far, and if his hands are busy, he always has his wings!
As happy as he is that you're back, he can't help but cry into your chest sometimes. Everything is so tense nowadays, he hates it! How could you go and do something like that? Apologize immediately! Or at least hold him too? Doubt creeps in a lot, and your attitude isn't helping..
His mood swings are stronger. From sobbing uncontrollably into your clothes to being all smiles and radiating with joy the next just because you said something vaguely decent.
Aizetsu
The demotivation started to creep in the second you left. During the day, Aizetsu sits by the door, wanting to be the first one you properly greet. Sekido and Urogi usually bring you back and he'll be the one in your good graces without lifting a finger. That sounds nice..
But as the footsteps fade and the silence lingers, Aizetsu feels miserable the longer he waits... Hold on, silence?
Before he realizes what's happening, he's already dashing to where the familiar commotion is coming from. Dread sets in as his legs take him as fast as they can whilst being the slowest of the four. This doesn't feel like they're rushing over to you after a long day, it feels.. dangerous?
What did you get yourself into..? Why do you insist on going to places Aizetsu can't follow? Are you safe? He hates not knowing.
Usually you're the one who's fine. You deal with four demons almost daily! Please please please be okay. He can't fathom it if you were hurt.
When he gets there, the puzzle pieces fall into place and Aizetsu gets even more depressed, but at least you're not hurt. Well, not if he interferes. His movements are sluggish, a perpetual frown plastered on his face as he tries holding Sekido down.
Aizetsu wants to dissolve into the floor, and he does sometimes. Not wanting to fight Sekido off anymore, he slumps over.
This could've been a regular day where you came home.. Are you serious? Leaving? How pitiful could you be to actually think you could get away? Or was it that you wanted to play some sick joke on them? Well, it's not very funny... It's terrible actually.
Aizetsu stays silent on the way home, walking with a bit more energy knowing you're near despite his heart ache.
You can feel the harrowing disappointment radiating off of him the moment you all go back home.
He's tired, annoyed, and so unbelievably upset. Aizetsu grimaced when Urogi got near your scratches with his tongue, so he “politely” ushered him away.
Knowing a human's weak points is good in battle, but he started trying to learn how to heal them, specifically because he knew these types of things might happen.
As he cleans your scratches, he's actively scolding you for leaving in a cold emotionless tone. And by scolding, he's using manipulative language, trying to make you guilty for everything you did.
He barely has the energy to live, but now that he finally found his light in the darkness, you want to leave? Is it so wrong he wants to hold onto what makes him even a smidgen happier than usual? He reminds you that he'll wither away without you, but he's not really too keen on dying just yet.
When he tries to get back into a routine, he just can't. He knows why you left, but he doesn't want to hear it. Even if you're sweet to him or not, he'll hold you from behind when you rest.
Looking at you is too much, but being away from you is even worse. Aizetsu compromises this way, but gets quieter, occasionally sniffling when he hides his face behind you.
There's too much going on and he's so tired.. If it weren't for the others, he probably would've held you so tight for so long so that you both would perish together.
Maybe that’s why he's only allowed to hold you when you're asleep. Just please don't do that again.. He NEEDS you. Please, please, please.
Safe to say you gave them a scare. When they double down on the protectiveness, living is ten times more difficult for EVERYBODY. when you lose their trust, it's pretty difficult to gain it back, but not impossible!!
Sekido and Urogi will always assume the worst if you're gone for too long while Karaku and Aizetsu give you a little more freedom until the others drag them along into their worries.
#null rot#yandere demon slayer#yandere kny#yandere kimetsu no yaiba#Sekido#Karaku#Urogi#Aizetsu#cloaked cult member#not art#null brainwash#null gospel#IM NOT A WRITER!!!! JUST A REMINDER!!!!!!!!! JST A RAMBLER!!!!!!!!!!!!#i really couldn't think of anything drawing wise to go along with this.... but I really wanted to write for it even if I'm a bit amateur#Am I even doing this bullet thing right?? I'm not good at cohesive thoughts. but I try!! I hope I did this right..??#Also. Sekido honestly doesn't want to hurt you or even put his hands on you. he's just really scared you might something will happen to you#how the fuck is he going to live with himself if you somehow get eaten by another demon? or worse. used as bait from either demon or slayer#now that upper moon fucking four has a soft spot. its really selfish of you to run away..#don't you see how that can ruin everyone's lives including your own!? (manipulative)#why he gets more upset with any other type of convo at the end is bc it reminds him of how things were before. they were good.#but you had to ruin it didn't you? (manipulative ×2) and for sure for sure. if he holds your hand you're getting a bruise.#Karaku is hella chill bc he's wayyy too cocky that he can find you again. the little arrogance he has rearing its head again.#Hes not stupid. he knows you want to escape. but that means he has to whittle you down a little more. get you used to this. to them. to him#You can't escape. he won't let you. He belongs with you. so just try and get comfortable. yeah?#Urogi.. going through it. Hes like your ankle monitor. very fragile minded with his mood swings but extremely stubborn about letting you go#Hit him. pull at his hair. push him away. spit at him. hes sad for a while but bounces back. he always does! and he knows you will too!!#He just needs to wait.. even if it hurts his feelings sometimes. but never for long because you'll be back to loving him like before!#Aizetsu's stuck in a loop of angry -> sad until he ends up quietly crying because hes depressed you dont like them. eveything is pitiful.#he cant even move on bc youre his light. nothing will change that. even if you hurt him. all he can beg of you is to be kind to him. adjust#hes not the monsters you think he is. he can be sweet kind gentle. whatever you want.. just please.
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the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.
(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)
is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.
(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)
on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.
#eliot#eliot spencer#orig#further discussion in further tags#I'm being perhaps a little critical and there are other ways to read eg the fragile masculinity moments#but I Do think they were intended this way and largely come across this way#I'm quite happy playing with a fanon eliot who's better at this shit is the thing? it feels faithful enough to the original.#but this is something I'm chewing over in a rewatch and it's interesting so far#the fact that he pretty consistently respects women doesn't stop him from treating men and women differently y'know?#the fact that his bantering with hardison expresses affection and gets quite soft over time#doesn't stop him from pushing hardison away on a semi-regular basis. often physically.#the fact that the fandom unanimously decided he's an utter gentleman in matters of dating#doesn't quite negate the time he physically stopped aimee from getting away when he wanted to talk to her#though that's one I might disregard because it's so early and I think they hadn't quite figured out the characters then#and it was admittedly a brief moment followed by very consensual happenings#perhaps. honestly. eliot may be reflecting the attitudes of the show here.#which were very progressive for the time and are still startling on several fronts now but also showing definite signs of age#arguably fanon eliot (as I understand him) is eliot adjusted for inflation. as it were.#there's a lot going on here I'm having a normal amount of thoughts about it I'm. stopping now
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Just thought about sharing this frame right here
Do with it what you will
#the split second before the lips touch are always my favorite part to analyze like a psycho#sorry about the motion blur#this was a bitch to screenshot but I had to#for science#also can you tell that I really like Tommy and buck together and want them to be endgame?#I’ll hide the next bit in the tags cause some shippers are scary:#I don’t really want buddie to happen#im not against it but there is something about eddies actor#that makes me feel like he’s one of those bros is fine with gay people but not near him#and this is purely my own impression#I don’t think he said or done anything to give that impression#you know how there are certain actors who simply refuse to kiss men because of fragile masculinity#because I’m straight bro#anyway#Back to Tommy and buck#I really like them together and they better have at least one kiss as intense as buck had with other partners in the past#not just a peck like last week to get diversity points#ya know#shmexy kisses#lety rambles#tuck#bucktommy#evan buckley#tommy kinard#911#911 abc#oliver stark#lou ferrigno jr
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At this point having him all over my camera roll is not enough, seeing him f-ck is not enough, fantasizing about his evil ass is not enough, NOTHING is enough, I need his 🐎🐓 inside me, Idc, IDC, I NEED to summon him into reality, fck him for 3 months straight for 4 times a year, every year, I can't keep obsessing over a mythical dude I can't I- 😭😭😭
#To: Joo Jaekyung#I'm fragile I'm in my feels don't touch me#hana confesses#3 am feelings#3 am nonsense#hana rambles#joo jaekyung#jinx manhwa#I haven't said 0.1% of what I think about him#I need to elaborate more#i hate him sm#I hate him#the things I NEED to do to him
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Drawings from today @mr-1-2-3-4
--
↓↓ Close-ups under the cut ↓↓
Mori and Pixel are infecting my brain currently
Also, sorta off topic, but I like portraying characters through colors
Like Mori who spends most of his life associated with toxic green and red, being envious and angry and in constant need of control. He's violent and ready to fight everyone for what he's been through, becoming solely associated with dark red
And then he joins Shadow Company
He mellows out into a forest green, calming down and allowing himself to blend in with his newfound family instead of constantly striving for that deep-rooted need to stand out
--
I just think it's neat,,,,
#also i really like drawing injuries and thinking about how the healing process would go#like hes trying to gain his muscle back so hes not just skin and bones because it makes him feel fragile and he doesn't like that#but at the same time#the medics are about ready to strangle him for ripping out his third stitch of the week#shadow company#call of duty#shadow company oc#pixel (cod oc)#moribund (cod oc)#Shadow 6-8 ♣️ (Moribund)#Tw1nkee art♣️#Mr 1234's writing about them has pried it's way into my head and i can't stop thinking about it
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i would like to hear your thoughts ❤️
gahhhh okay no one throw rocks at me, this is buck x oc
adam has been a nurse for a long time. he's dealt with trauma after trauma, met so many firefighters and paramedics but none with a bigger heart than evan buckley. he's seen him around a few times, the station 118 is pretty well known in their hospital for being a bit a problem station. people are constantly getting stabbed and struck by lightning, evan buckley in particular seems like maybe he pissed off god personally. they exchanged a few words here and there, laughed at a few of the others jokes, but every time they lock eyes, buck makes quick work to look away and bite the inside of his cheek. adam specializes in hurt and believe him, buck seems... hurt.
it isn't until they bring in a young kid, probably 16 or 17, with bruises and cuts all over his body. he was beaten until- well, until it was pretty touch and go for a minute there. two of them hang back in particular, hen and buck. he's talked to hen before, back when she was going through med school, she told him about her wife and kids, how hard she was fighting for them, how draining it was. adam joked about that sounding familiar, he remembers med school well enough when he was single, he couldn't imagine it with a partner and a kid.
the two of them were standing together, watching the kid be carted away, both biting their cheeks and clenching their fists. hen whispered something to buck and patted his back.
"i know, it's just- god, that was brutal." buck wipes his face.
"that's why we look out for each other." hen squeezes his arm and walks away.
"does he have anyone to look out for him?" buck says to himself
interesting, he doesn't know the full story- just that that kid looked like he was in a hell of a lot of pain. and judging by the rainbow bracelet around his wrist, he's guessing he knows why.
he's about to work himself up to go talk to him. there's something about his eyes, wide and sad and so deep in thought he wonders how he pulls himself out.
they lock eyes again. adam gives him a tiny wave and an awkward smile. buck looks like he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and returns the nicety before bolting out the door. hen notices and looks back, processing something in her head. she smiles but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.
then buck shows up at the hospital later in his civvies, rubbing his hands together.
"hey!" adam says just a little too loudly, cringing.
buck jumps a little, like a scared deer, adam absolutely does not think it's the cutest thing in the world.
"uh, h-hi." buck is still whining his hands together.
"adam! sorry, i don't know if i ever gave you my name or if you remember-"
"i do." buck smiles, "yeah, i remember."
"good." and then he just stands like an idiot for reasons he cannot grasp before remembering he should probably speak now, "are you visiting someone?"
"do you remember that kid from earlier? the one had the um-"
"the kid that got hate-crimed? yeah i remember. he's stable now. he had a rough night, but he'll pull through."
buck visibly releases a weight off himself, "oh, good. i just wanted to check in on him. i don't know, it was a rough call, it was driving me crazy not knowing."
adam put down his clipboard, nodding, "yeah, i mean, that stuff definitely hits home for me, for sure."
"it doesn't for me," buck says and oh, shit, i guess he's not queer, fuck did i read this wrong, "i mean! like- when i came out, i had so many people that cared about me. my sister, my-well- my dad, my best friend, my boyf-" buck cuts himself off and deflates again, "sorry. i just hated the idea that he didn't have that, you know?"
"no, i get it, don't apologize. that's-thats really sweet. visiting hours are almost over but i can see if he's up for it, okay?"
bucks nods, and maybe adam is a fool with a dumb little crush but he swears he blushes a little. he feels his heart bursting a little about it. he came back to this kid, felt the need to check in and ask about him, because he didn't have something that he did.
"pull it together," he whispers to himself as he walks away.
buck keeps coming back, too. visiting the kid as often as possible, playing cards, and giving him fun facts from some documentaries he's watched. adam perks up whenever he hears one that he's watched. he lets it slip that he watched the same one, went on the same wikipedia binge. buck does that smile softly and look away like you're about to throw thing he does. adam occasionally joins in on the conversation whenever he gets a free moment. and then eventually, the kid gets discharged and buck is there to see him off. it turns out he has an aunt out in texas that's far more accepting than his folks here. he swears he sees buck tear up a little as he walks out the door, waving back at both of them.
and adam fully expects buck to go back to being a first responder he sees a few times a week and exchanging awkward, stolen glances.
but he doesn't stop coming. buck shows up the next day with two coffees in his hand. adam waves at him and buck breathes like he's psyching himself up and walks over.
"you said you liked chai lattes, so, um, i figured-i figured you would-"
"thanks!" adam decides to put him out of his misery, "are you visiting someone?"
buck ducks his head and scratches his neck, his smile looking less tortured, "hopefully, if you were free, you."
"i was about to go on my first break, if you wanted to go for a bit of a walk." adam suggests.
"that sounds great." buck clears his throat.
"great, gimme just a second, alright?" he walks away and hears buck mutter what he thinks, "i used to be better at this."
a few weeks pass by like that. buck hovering just on the outskirts of his life, very careful not to step too far in, but still present in a way that drives him crazy. he can't stop thinking about him but he only gets him for fifteen minutes now.
"do you wanna go out for dinner sometime?" adam asks, trying to sound as casual as possible.
buck gasps, like audibly, like a woman fainting after meeting the beatles, "i-uh, i should probably get back, sorry."
oh, he watches him go. and then stop in his tracks. and then turn back around, "can i get your number actually? or instagram or something?"
trying to contain his excitement, he nods, because of course he nods. when a hot, sweet as fuck, puppy dog eyed firefighter offers you their phone number, it's a crime to say no.
eventually, they do end up on a date- or at least he thinks it's a date. he can't be sure. the wine certainly feels date-eske but he really can't be sure because buck is barely looking at him in the eyes. he picked his very best "possibly a date" outfit and went in with low expectations for anything other than a really pleasant, really awkward evening. he decides though that if he gets to spend it with buck, it feels worth the awkward tension. especially because sometimes, he can coax him out of it and he looks so- vulnerable, an open wound. he's like a starry sky that hides behind a cloudy night.
adam doesn't remember what he says but eventually they start talking about things that should probably be save for the 40th date, not the maybe, jury's still out first.
but adam definitely knows he says, "you seem like you've been hurt." because the moment he does, he wants to punch himself in the face after buck gets this horrified expression like adam just said he likes kicking dogs in his spare time.
then, the moment passes, and he clicks his tongue, "i used to be better at hiding it."
"it seems like maybe it's a good thing you don't."
buck shakes his head, "i also used to be better at this," he gestures between them, "dating, flirting, having a crush," which does get buck to smile and adam gets to see that twinkle in his eyes again.
"oh okay, so this is a date, noted. and- you're not terrible at it, it's pretty adorable, actually. and i'm hardly one to judge. i'm very familiar with hurt."
buck keeps smiling, "well, my hurt is a 40 year old firefighter-pilot who broke up with me a year ago, so- i don't know how familiar you are with that kind of hurt."
"oh, i am all too familiar with that kind of hurt. does this hurt have a name?"
buck sucks in a breath, adam gets the sense that he hasn't said it in a while, "tommy. tommy kinard."
adam feels like buck is cracked open right now, "are you not ready to move on yet? cause, i'm okay with just being friends!"
"i really don't want to."
"be friends? damn, okay-"
buck puts on a hand on his for a second and adam's heart flutters, "no, i don't want to be just friends. tommy was- well, i loved him. i mean, i-"
"still do?"
"god, i'm really cursed to fuck up first dates, aren't i?"
"it's okay. i mean, i like you. i've liked you for a while, you know? and i've had my own tommy, the one that got away, one i'll never stop loving. i think-" it hurts to think about but he knows it would hurt more to forget about it, "i think what our tommys have in common is that we never let them go, or stop loving them, but we-" he sighs, thinking about his own heartbreak, his own first love, his own missed connection, "we take the love we have for them and we can let it grow into love for others too."
bucks bites his cheek. adam briefly wonders if the inside of his mouth is scarred of all the biting, "i guess i'm scared of giving him up. like if i stop thinking about it or if i like someone else, he'll disappear and everything we had will just- vanish," he chokes out.
adam hums, "it won't. that's the great thing about tommys, right? they stay with you, you never stop feeling that love. you just- build on it and give it to the next person."
buck has tears in his eyes now, adam thinks he might too, but god he's looking at such a beautiful man, with such a big heart and he can't help but thank whoever tommy is for giving him so much love that he's overflowing with it.
"sorry-"
"don't apologize, this got heavy really quick and we're only half way through the bottle of wine," they both laugh into their glasses.
"i guess i'm a little- hurt, like you said."
"i'm a nurse, buck, i kind of specialize in hurt. and if you're willing to try, i'd like another date, one that i actually know is a date beforehand."
buck really does blush this time, "i can do that."
buck leans in and kisses him on the cheek on the way out, oh god, he's a gentleman too, i'm so screwed.
down the line, when they're celebrating their engagement in the same park they used to walk through on adam's breaks, he thinks to himself, not for the first time, oh, tommy kinard, wherever you are, whoever you're with, thank you for loving our man, and thank you for letting me love him just as much.
#okay i accidentally worked through a lot of my feelings for tommy during this lol#this was also not supposed to be this long#i got slightly carried away#i also cried a lot while writing the tommy part#tommy i love you so much and while i think the writing was dumb if buck ends up with someone else thank you for loving him the way you did.#i think in this universe tommy is with sal. in my head. and buck and tommy meet up later and talk about how important they were#how they'll never stop loving each other#and adam loves tommy too#i've been thinking about adam since before buck and tommy lol he's evolved since then#at first he looked a lot like christian keyes cause i was watching legends of tomorrow. but now i'm watching roswell nm and i imagined#michael for some parts of this for some reason#so which ever floats your boat i suppose#evan buckley#legit i put it all under the read bc i do understand if ppl are feeling fragile about it and dont wanna see buck moving on
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KINCADE PACK 🐺 (original works) — “The name goes back centuries, and all Miranda cares about is making sure it lasts for many more”
[template by @tommyarashikage]
tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @adelaidedrubman @florbelles @simonxriley @voidika @kyberinfinitygems @voidbuggg @inafieldofdaisies @statichvm @socially-awkward-skeleton @aceghosts @carlosoliveiraa @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree @cassietrn @jackiesarch @a-treides @shellibisshe @loriane-elmuerto @katsigian @captastra @simplegenius042 @theelderhazelnut @g0dspeeed @leviiackrman @strangefable @jacobseed
#insp: the lodge#too many ocs to tag here lmao#this is a little bit rushed because it’s like 2am#but I’ve been thinking about doing this template for them since I first saw it#FINALLY I get to talk about this fucked up rich werewolf family#Logan and Jayde’s dad were best friends and grew up together#so Jayde and Skye essentially grew up with Logan’s kids#there’s a lot of complicated feelings there between the kids for various reasons#they consider each other family to a degree (more like cousins)... but some of them would definitely straight up kill each other.#Miranda had her eye mostly on Jayde because she’s the same age as Garret and Miranda’s main goal is to strengthen her bloodline#and Jayde comes from a well known purebred bloodline#so Miranda’s golden boy Garret (massive douchebag) tried his darndest to rizz up Jayde for most of their childhood#Jayde fucking despises him. she beat his ass on more than one occasion. which massively bruised his fragile ego. but he still wants to hit#Amara and Mitchell are the designated chaos twins that Jayde has a love/hate relationship with. Skye gets along with them great of course#Jonas is the only mf that has his head on straight. He's mostly separated from the fam. removed at the 'heir' when he didn't want it.#now hes a werewolf therapist for werewolves with a small family of his own. he reminds Jayde of her dad. he's around the same age too#SCANDAL: Jonas is slightly older than Logan lmao#Declan is the other golden boy. the precious spoiled baby. Miranda's backup for the backup.#he's terrified of Garret so he tries to stay out of his way and mostly keeps to himself#tbh Declan is just Scared of Everything and desperately doesn't want any responsibility but tries to hide it#anyway before Jayde's dad was killed and she was captured they knew hunters were coming for them#so they went to the Kincades for help. Miranda would only accept the girls.#Jayde chose to stay with her parents and they left Skye with the family to keep her safe (she was 12)#that was the last time Skye saw her family intact :/ she didn’t see Jayde again for years.#so Miranda pampered her and groomed her to be in her family.#like she was this little jewel. the last living Thatcher.#now that Jayde is back and Skye is with her and they're living their own life#Miranda be scheming. she wants to claim their bloodline sooo bad.#anyway sorry for the massive lore dump there’s.... a lot of complicated shit going on here#edits
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life comes at you so fast
#tw personal#tw death#tw cancer#not my usual silly goofy post but it’s hard to remain that way when there’s a lot weighing on your mind#cancer sucks#and it’s unfair how quickly it can take people from us#one moment they seem fine and the next they’re in the icu with a week left to live#he passed two nights ago#i wasn’t planning to post about it but i have the tendency to disassociate from my grief#so here i am instead of wherever the hell!#it’s heartbreaking because he and his wife weren’t just my mum’s bosses - they were long-time friends#i have clear childhood memories of playing at their house with their son#his youngest child is only 3 years old#as soon as he found out he started giving his final messages to his staff#obviously nobody wants to die in that situation#but you could feel how much he *wanted to live*#when i was told about his death it was in the morning and it didn’t feel real#every time i had seen him in the last year he always had a smile on his face#it’s always been hard for me to deal with the prospect of death#and understand how fragile life is#how REAL mortality is#it hits even harder when it happens to someone who was so FULL of life#sighs#life comes at you fast#sometimes in all directions and in every possible and testing way imaginable#i’ve been trying to write and feel any sense of normalcy this evening but for a multitude of reasons i have a sinking feeling in my stomach#sometimes when i’m upset i try recycle the feeling into excitement or happiness over something else#yeah … i can’t really do that tonight#apologies if my energy is bleh. hold your loved ones close. now i return you to my regular scheduled programming
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dennis is an angry character btw im sorry but he is full of rage but that rage is not exclusive his anger does not negate sadness and fragility and insecurities in fact they work together and dtamhd was one of the first times where his anger was not used as a joke via a surface level rage explosion from him but instead explored the fragility of his anger. the way he keeps reassuring the workers he encounters (and himself) that he's not mad. when he tells daisy he's not mad but he is a little bit upset. dennis is angry and that anger is what makes him so fragile. he was upset and it manifested as rage bc he doesnt know what to do with his own sadness
#disclaimer tags yes i would like to see his emotions explored more but i disagree that we ONLY saw anger in dtamhd#and EVEN IF IT WAS ONLY ANGER... anger is just as VALID and fragile and vulnerable as sadness. they are family#we saw how his anger makes him fragile how it exhausts him#how it works with his stress and fears and insecurities and sadness#he was UPSET!!!!#angry dennis in dtamhd WAS big feelings dennis in tends bar. that was the same#he expressed anger in tends bar bc he was upset he expressed anger in dtamhd bc he was upset etc etc#and i think the sadness people were expecting was present. the sadness and fragility we would have seen if he cried on the beach like most#of us anticipated (btw he did cry at the beach <3 technically <3) was THERE. it was just in his anger#sewerkingcharlie talked about this already and worded it very well but im honestly kinda bothered by how some people have treated#the portrayal of anger and emotions in this ep#you dont have to like the ep or how they portrayed dennis but some posts have really given the vibe of#his anger and his emotional outburst not being as valid because it wasnt portrayed in the way you expected#or that it wasnt palatable enough#and honestly if you dont like it thats okay! but can we please be careful with how we talk about mental illness and anger outbursts!#yes it is frustrating when people ONLY see dennis' anger or see dennis' anger in a very shallow way#which a lot of the audience unfortunately does because its been treated like a joke#but it wasnt a just a joke here#and maybe this will all go past dudebros heads frankly i dont give a shit lol but thats for another post
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omfg I can’t believe for 7 years of my life, I believed Reigen was his first name and Arataka his last
nobody talk to me, I learned the truth yesterday and I’m still not over it
#doctorsiren#not art#siren speaks#in my defense#I’m stupid /silly#LOOK OKAY LOOK IN THE DUB THEY ALWAYS SAY REIGEN ARATAKA#BUT THEY ALSO SAY SHIGEO KAGEYAMA (i think?) SOOOO’]#AND NOT KAGEYAMA SHIGEO#unless I’m stupid and I’m wrong about that#IN WHICH CASE DO NOT CORRECT ME OR I IWLL CRY I AM A FRAGILE MAN#don’t bully me…or correct me…or do anything#man I’m so embarrassed still LMAO????#also katsuya ?? my dumb self thought serizawa was also his first name OKAY IM NOT SMART#it’s like Edgeworth and Wright but if I believed those were their first names because they only called each other that#Y’know what I have a few friends who only go by their last names and I like that for him#Reigen just feels right 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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jude perry....
#tag rant incoming these recent asks have got me thinking about magnolia again.#i'm actually so invested in jude. horrible little wench that she is she's like a train wreck i can't look away from#she's interesting to me because she's sooo toxic but she's also like. 18 years old. yknow.#her relationship with agnes is super fucked up but i always hesitate to call it outright abusive#agnes is an incredibly fragile person with no sense of identity or ability to set boundaries#jude is an incredibly abrasive person who is unaccustomed to having feelings as strong as the way she feels for agnes#and does not know how to handle them appropriately#a lot of the time she GENUINELY thinks she's helping agnes (and the rest of her friends) when she's really being cruel#either that or she's acting out because she's terrified of losing them#not that she'd ever admit it#i think ppl's perceptions of her would really change if they read the agnes fic bc god some of their scenes are SO SO ROMANTIC 😭#and doesnt that make it so much harder and more confusing for agnes...#is it lovebombing... kind of. but not entirely so. jude is just finding out what it feels like to believe in something other than herself#(and then what it feels like to lose it. oops)#and the worst part is that she won't learn ANYTHING from it. in fact i think she comes out worse!! because afterwards she's Bitter!!!!#ough this is giving me ideas. she definitely would scapegoat gerry and she could Really fuck him up a couple years down the timeline... OOF#many thoughts head full#magnolia
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