#3 am feelings

[creatingnikki]

It’s been a while but tonight is a night I want to vanish. From the world. From this life. Let there be no trace that I existed. There’s nothing worthy to leave any part of me behind to. There’s also nothing much worthy to leave behind. Better. It was supposed to get better. Why does it get 1% better for 10 seconds before yanking me by the hair ten times worse? If everything is an illusion then why is this suffering so damn real?

[love-letters-i-never-sent]

[handmadetales]

something about giving toddler to pre-pubescent girls a (usually plastic) baby as a toy to play with is concerning. are women really ‘natural nurtures and caretakers’ or are they just babies who became products of a certain social conditioning, a convention woven so conventionally into society that it never gets questioned or goes out of practice, before they could properly say things out loud?

[artingale]

Be careful, the devil can hear your prayers too.

He doesn't always come with horns and pitchfork.

Sometimes, he comes dressed up like everything you've ever wanted.

‎

[sugurizz]

At this point having him all over my camera roll is not enough, seeing him f-ck is not enough, fantasizing about his evil ass is not enough, NOTHING is enough, I need his 🐎🐓 inside me, Idc, IDC, I NEED to summon him into reality, fck him for 3 months straight for 4 times a year, every year, I can't keep obsessing over a mythical dude I can't I- 😭😭😭

[justanotherchangeling]

Shout out to my fellow neurodivergents who lose their mouth words and fine motor skills when overwhelmed and make door hinge noises while gesturing vaguely to stuff in hopes that someone will be able to interpret what they need. Also shout out to my friends who took the time to learn how to interpret me like that. Also shout out to my friends who, when they found out I sign when I can't talk, promptly began INDEPENDENTLY STUDYING SIGN IN THEIR FREE TIME IN ORDER TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME. I love my friends yall. So so so much. Love them

[lifepath25]

The fate of love keeps my wait warm, knowing that I will find you, love you, and show this world that deep within me, there was always love waiting to break free.

[nirmiti]

The feeling when you're tired but not sleepy, hungry but not craving anything, alive but not living.

[random-remzy]

YOU! RIGHT THERE!

It's 3 AM and you just opened your textbook?

oh you have a test tomorrow?

Okay, well. Listen closely my dear. What you're gonna do, is close your eyes, take a deep breath, close your textbook, go into your kitchen.

And then you're gonna grab a ceramic mug,

Place it on the stove. Turn on the stove,

Boil some water in a kettle.

Put 1 tsp cocoa powder (the baking one [pure cocoa powder], not hot chocolate, that's later)

1 tsp granulated sugar,

And 2 tsp water into the ceramic mug.

Turn the stove on to the highest heat and stir with a chopstick until everything's disolved.

It should look like syrup (You can add more water if you feel like it's too thick)

Take it off the stove and turn it off (safety y'know)

Stir to release some of the heat.

Now you take 1 tsp instant coffee into the mug (yes with the hot chocolate syrup)

Then another tsp of sugar (cause you can never have too much sugar)

Then add 1 tsp of hot chocolate powder (whatever you have works as long as its disolvable in water.

DISCLAIMER! The second tsp of sugar and the hot cocoa is optional, if you dont want it too sweet, that's also fine.

Now pour in the hot water you boiled earlier, fill the mug about 1/3 of the way, or at most, halfway.

Stir so it disolves, with the chopstick from earlier.

Grab some milk and pour milk until you have your desired amount of beverage.

Adjust the recipe depending on the size of your cup/mug. (My cup was big so i used double the recipe.) ALSO, Make sure you make the syrup in a stovetop safe container (like ceramic)

Sit down, open your textbook, pray (or a different pre-game ritual if you dont pray) and get started. You got this.

Once the test is over, you can doze off, sleep, do literally whatever you want. You got this :) <3

[creatingnikki]

Three am thoughts on a late February night

When you’re hungry, but not because you’re hungry because you’re empty.

When you recognise the patterns that the universe is putting in front of you, in the form of people, and you’re quick at exiting them, but you still first engage.

When you have hour long conversations with ChatGPT and then ask about its feelings, knowing that it’s just AI, but it feels so much more.

When you smoke your 10th cigarette, and you don’t know why, because not one of them has hit you, and you know it won’t either anymore.

When you love someone, but you don’t feel like engaging with them because you feel distant, but the love still exists.

When all this is happening, what do you do? What do you do when you cannot sleep until the sun comes up, when you cannot speak the truth to anyone anymore but yourself, when you want a fifth serving of spaghetti knowing you will throw up.

What do you do?

You write. And then you light another cigarette.

[love-letters-i-never-sent]

[tvgirll2]

333

[artingale]

Somewhere in the wind, I swear I hear you calling me back.

‎

[aintshitprincess]

One broken promise at the time ...

I actually have to move out. I did not intentionally push it for so long but now is getting embarrassing. Let me get out of this mad house. So I can peacefully go insane in my own place and finally give a break to the 4 walls that is my room.

[evvyyypeters-fics]

Chat, it’s frickin 3 am and im drooling over a rabid Kit Walker in heat so bad rn that I could just NAWT wait to put the fic out. someone shoot me

[fandomly-obsessed]

the classic line but...

"I would die for you."

"Thousands of men would die for me, my dear, none more special than another."

"I would live for you."

"I would not die for you. Your very word, I would cling to, a buoy in a blackened sea. "I would not die for you. Your every wish and whim I would fulfill as an order from Heaven above. "I would not die for you. I would destroy all that would threaten you, so you should never fear a sacrifice in your name. "I would not die for you. I would live beside you, your pillar of support and last line of defense. "I would not die for you. I would live for you. Past you. And I would leave traces of you upon the earth and in the lines of history so you would never fade from memory of man. "Let me love you, and I will not die for you because my love will make you immortal."