#2 am posts

[snakeskinass]

Your soft boy Michael Shelley probably didn’t exist. Hear me out.

Looking at how Helen acted before The Distortion and after, her personality pretty much stayed the same. (from what we know about her before The Distortion)

And look at Michael. He probably wasn’t as sweet and nice as y’all want him to be.

[love-letters-i-never-sent]

[ninasdrafts]

Who would've thought it'd be holding your hand where I'd lose my footing? After all we'd been moving in tandem half our lives. The question plaguing me is not the why or the how, it's the when. When did we lose sight of each other? When did the ache of missing you turn into relief inspired by your absence? Perhaps when you started seeing my wins as your losses. Perhaps when you wanted to be heard to be so bad, you forgot to listen. Our story has two sides, I know. I turned into a ghost for you. An empty casket haunted by memories that'd lost their shine long ago. I no longer wanted to talk about the sunlit past, glorified treasures of time that felt bigger for you each day because nothing came after. I no longer wanted to pretend we had a future together going forward. We didn't. We don't. I knew, you knew, but we didn't voice it. We couldn't. Things like this happened to other people, not to us. Ugly truths are hard to admit, but how ugly are they really when they feel like the first breath of fresh air in a year? I'll say it: I miss the times we lived through together, but I don't miss who I was with you. I'm doing better now. I'm doing better than I ever was and that's what you can't stand. And this is why we can never go back to what we once were.

-the ugly truth / n.j.

[dietwatergrape]

I have a habit of eating cheese at 2 am and a partner from wisconsin who is not awake at 2 am but will be almost awake when I get back into bed with said cheese

that is to say I have a habit of feeding my nearly unconscious partner cheese at 2 am and having to tell them that’s why their mouth tasted bad when they woke up

[allthatispeculiar]

[kilonovai]

—- we are cobwebs spun on rafters, the fruit of the bat. an upside-down sunset view drip - drip, dripping. I see you in dusty footprints, a burn left in the carpet like calico, a phoenix reborn. I feel you, somewhere lost, deep in thought, a chrysalis buried beneath your skin, in a new doorway unlocked. you’re like a tome that needs written.

[artifex-nb-2000]

it's 2 am

and this is what my brain got

insanity sparks inspiration

and

inspiration sparks insanity

my 2 am brain says it makes sense

N.B.

🌻

[uhohitsgeode]

It’s 2am and we up thinking about Bunborg Joe

[derzauberlehrling]

sometimes i wonder what radiohead were thinking when they came up with those modified bears blips or whatever they are called like

WHAT KIND OF EMOTION IS THIS GUY EVEN TRYING TO CONVEY?

also like am i supposed to give them all a very thick british accent?? a high pitched voice?? no voice at all??? ok sorry if i like to imagine silly creatures with funny voices i guess?

they be groovin’

aight that was fun, peace out.

[sanelyinsanemiss]

[creatingnikki]

I want to escape myself. And yet I want to fully embrace myself. This conundrum will be the death of me because it breeds inaction. But isn't fully embracing myself the real escape? But, then again, isn't escaping myself and becoming a whole other someone the path to embracing that new self? And you know at the end of the day inaction doesn't worry me as much as misaction or impulsive action does. I don't think it's fun to make mistakes and learn from them. I think it's stupid to make mistakes so freely. I think many things are stupid. I know I'm not one of them. It's funny. I think many bad things of myself. But not this. So, then, do I really want to escape myself? If there's even one good, solid thing you like about yourself, shouldn't you just stay? And because I'm not stupid, I am smart enough to know that you can keep some and lose some and change the rest. So, then, do it. What are you waiting for? Escape the parts that need escaping and embrace the rest. The relationship with self is not simple. It's the one complex relationship worthy of sitting through patiently. And repeatedly. And with compassion and grace.

[kerosnes]

I hate drawing os so bacd (gonna fix later)

First time seriously drawing banhamer how did I do

[brooklynisher]

I’m thinking about Peter Walter I (Analysis thingy?? Awwywiwiwh)

He’s such a conflicting subject in my mind likeee

Initially all of my headcanons painted him to be a pretty crappy guy. Most of it was for the sake of the development of other characters.

But more recently I’ve been thinking about the more positive side of Peter Walter.

Rabbit called him pappy, and continued to do so even AFTER Red Core. And though that’s pretty depressing because she thought the situation was her fault, she had to love Peter Walter a lot to continue to call him pappy. He had to give her a reason to love him.

He was BEST FRIENDS with Thadeus Becile before the rivalry.

He was ENTHUSIASTIC about his inventions, though they were for Delilah.

He saw things as a learning opportunity, even if they weren’t great!

He was careful. He was safe

I mean just LOOK at him compared to Thadeus Becile

And y’all saw the way VI talked about him in the comic.

He had all these good things going for him. He was a good person. He let that reflect in his work. Even when he was getting extra competitive, he was still careful and considerate enough to not cause major damage to the Cavalcadium like Thadeus did.

But when Delilah died oh my god.

He was such a good guy, but so much about him changed since then. He had so much happen to him, both as a result of his own actions, a result of grief, and a result of war.

And it’s like, he’s such a good guy, but there’s so much that can and HAS disrupted that. And it’s depressing

He became significantly more reckless building way too many robots all for the sake of escaping grief. He was too smart to be losing his mind. It was dangerous.

But not only that, it was during this moment of his life when he accidentally gave his robots sentience.

A terribly ambitious and intelligent man was losing his sane mind when he mistakenly made a miraculous breakthrough that gave his creations life. Also he opened a portal to another dimension.

He was a mad scientist when he became the “father” of his robots as well as give the entire world access to a different reality.

And to make it worse, it was like a blackout! He couldn’t remember what he was doing when he made the breakthrough! The scientist, a man who works very closely with VERY dangerous tools, doesn’t even remember what he was doing!

And let me just remind you that making and advancing his robots was a COPING MECHANISM. Imagine indulging so hard into your coping mechanism to the point where it ends up HURTING YOU. Because that’s what Red Core was to Peter Walter!

So long story short, Peter had to deal with the death of a woman he dearly loved, but didn’t love him back. But ON TOP OF THAT he was a wildly genius scientist. So much to the point where his life was inherently abnormal. He couldn’t do anything normally, INCLUDING coping. So when something went wrong, he didn’t know how to deal with it normally! So he deals with it in the only way he knows how and loses his mind as a result. But losing his mind only made him more successful. And just like that, this man is utterly insane!

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

BECAUSE NOW THIS MAN HAS TO EXPERIENCE WAR! AND AS I SAID BEFORE, HE’S TOO GENIUS OF A SCIENTIST TO DO ANYTHING NORMALLY AND NOW HE HAS TO GO TO WAR!

IF AN ABANDONED IDENTITY, INSANITY, AND GRIEF ALONE WEREN’T ENOUGH, LET’S JUST ADD SOME PTSD INTO THE MIX.

Two insane yet brilliant scientists thrown into war against each other using their own inventions that were results of their insanities.

And the war is over but now he has to get back to his robots that have essentially turned into his children because now he actually has to look back on what he’s done and work with it.

These robots have been too useful to abandon. Not to mention that they are sentient now. So he can’t just give up his life of science! He’s in too deep. He’s GOT to keep going. And so he did.

Also by the way he’s 32.

So, like, you see what I’m saying. He had every right to become a bad person. He sort of ruined his life by pursuing his passions which is SO depressing, AND THEN HE JUST KEPT GOING?

Of course, he was still messed up. As shown by the fact that he literally killed Rabbit. But considering what he’s been through, I feel like he could’ve done even worse.

And so like, there’s still evidence of that good Peter Walter! I mean, he’s just about as insane as Thadeus was but he still managed to avoid a majority of his footsteps. He kept going. He found love. He found happiness. He changed.

I think it’s made especially clear in Red Core. His sons have repaired a robot that he created in an effort to cope with the pain, only for that robot to remind you of that pain you were trying to escape over and over again. His first robot, and the first robot for him to take out his rage on. He’s seeing this robot again thanks to his sons, who didn’t even design it properly, and he smiled. What was the reason? We don’t know! But it meant something.

That’s where I think a lot of the goodness of VI comes from. I don’t think VI was an anomaly. I don’t think V was either. I think it all started with Peter Walter I. But it was drowned out by his insanity for the longest time.

I have a hard time imagining what kind of a father he was to the robots. He’s got so much good in him, yet he’s been through so much. And it’s like. What did he do.

Bunny has stated multiple times before that Honeybee is sort of laughable in terms of its concept. These days, she sees it more as a “Why did you wrap yourself so tightly around her finger, when people come and go no matter what. Why define your entire life by her” AND WELL

Idk. It’s all crazy to me.

[ariasmontage]

Muse

Vacant eyes, these swinging highs,

Three finsihed cigarettes, an overflowing desk-

The stage is set.

Your tender gaze comes with some exertion.

Kisses smudged on cigarettes butts, you are playing your part well.

Vacant eyes, swollen thighs,

Would this be enough to keep this alive?

2 am- tired, distant, this act of love.

There it is, your tender gaze.

Vacant eyes; you fear you have lost your muse.

It comes to you in a dream;

Half awake, you scribble.

You understand the words,

just not what they mean together.

You understand me,

just not what it means to be together.

-aria

[aintshitprincess]

One broken promise at the time ...

I actually have to move out. I did not intentionally push it for so long but now is getting embarrassing. Let me get out of this mad house. So I can peacefully go insane in my own place and finally give a break to the 4 walls that is my room.

[allthatispeculiar]