#but “love” or “devotion” was one of the things used as an excuse to harm him in the past

[moonofmercury]

Moze is initially apprehensive about your and Jiaoqiu's relationship. Not because you're not good for him. You are. You make him smile, you make him laugh, you bring him fresh groceries when he has a hard time leaving the house, you make sure he doesn't just rot in bed all day (although you happily join him for this too). But as Moze comes to acknowledge his past, as he understands more about what it means to have people to care about and who truly care about you, he realizes how hard it is to live without people who mean so much. And if something happens to one of you, will the other survive?

It leaves Moze feeling confused. Is this jealousy? That losing one of you might mean losing you both, without care for what happens to the rest of them.

On some level, you all live dangerous lives, even if Jiaoqiu doesn't work for anyone but Feixiao anymore and diviners are fairly well guarded when they are near the battlefield. Moze knows it won't happen yet, that you are not yet so tied together, but he worries for Jiaoqiu and his fragile heart.

Moze remains his reticent self when Jiaoqiu talks about you, or when you talk about Jiaoqiu. You are undeniably good for him, and Moze can, with fond begrudging, admit Jiaoqiu is good for you too. And slowly, Moze's apprehension transforms into a more worn, tired worry touched with curiosity.

For so many years, stronger feelings have felt burned out of him. With no one to respond to his cries, they had died before they could lay half-formed in his chest. And although it is a gentle thing, the love between you and Jiaoqiu is strong enough to make Moze unsure. All he can do is keep you alive when he can. For Jiaoqiu's sake. He's not willing to let a thing like love keep you all from sharing the life you have been given.

[secriden]

so @rayandgay's gifset of mahasamut slipping the leash got me thinking and...

one thing that makes jak such a well written villain is how quickly our perception (of jak) as the audience shifts in this moment and how utterly believable that is.

jak is honed in on tongrak throughout the scene, even when mahasamut gets up, you see jak is focused fully on tongrak and doesn't even glance at mahasamut until he's grabbed and decked in the face. and at that point all he seems to register is shock.

perhaps its blind arrogance or his obsession with controlling tongrak, but jak doesn't actually seem that...smart? like, this is after he's sent 2 goons to beat up/kill mahasamut and they came crawling back severely beaten up themselves, so he should really have been expecting mahasamut to be a physical threat.

but also, it helps us as the audience understand and empathise with the hold jak has over tongrak. because jak has devoted time and effort to creating this larger-than-life perception of control, power, and ability to harm and/or destroy the things and people tongrak loves. tongrak cannot even perceive his own father's weakness at this point. manipulation is what jak's actually good at.

but then, it's also why his control over tongrak finally breaks here because mahasamut manages to show tongrak just how weak jak really is.

and we as the viewer experience the same flip in perception as tongrak does! prior to this moment, the show really makes it seem that jak is going to be this huge threat, this big looming final boss that they have to fight to get their happily ever after. in the scene with prin, it feels like he's the mastermind behind her. like she's supplying the money but the true brains behind the encroaching threat to our lovers is jak. it helps that jak is physically terrifying cuz he towers over everyone else in the cast.

but in the confrontation all it takes is 2 punches for him to go from threats to begging. he's begging after 1 punch, and barely takes 2 the entire scene to be rendered out of commission.

(this is not a flattering screenshot of jak and i do NOT care)

we go on the same journey as tongrak does in this moment: "is this it? is this really the larger than life man? this!? could it be that this man was nothing more than a pathetic opportunist who got his hooks into a child and has been using that to maintain his control this entire time? could it be that he only seemed so strong before because he was an adult who took his strength out on a child?"

jak's written this way to get us to understand tongrak better because we as an audience have been taken in that same emotional journey. we, too, are fooled by jak's looming presence and vague threats and lies. but we are also released from the hold by mahasamut's actions. we see jak for what he truly is (a sad, pathetic excuse of a man who had a golden opportunity and took it) and that sets us up to understand tongrak's journey (and it was a journey; its implied by the multiple flashbacks and tongrak's name that his mom tried for several years after he was born to keep jak around - so tongrak had jak's cruelty and physical violence and probably verbal snide remarks for years). it's why tongrak takes episode 10 to finally be free. its why we love tongrak so much, because mame helps us relate to him and how desperately he needed to be set free. and mame gives tongrak (and us) that with mahasamut. <3

[charliehoennam]

angel.

Pairing: Louis Bloom (nightcrawler) x F!reader A/N: i blame jake for this. lou bloom is a fucking psycho, stay away from people like him. this is purely fictional, people. this was named out of inspiration from angel by massive attack, so kudos to them as well.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, smut, NON-CON drug use and NON-CON intercourse, unprotected sex (wrap ur willies, kiddies), crime, language, somnophilia. (consent is EVERYTHING, yall. again, this is fictional)

Word count: 5,900+ ( i think this might be the most i've ever written)

SHARING IS CARING, SO PLEASE REBLOG

It’s early morning as you’re carrying a box into your newly rented apartment.

Louis is stunned when his eyes land on you, forgetting about the water he’d been using to hydrate his plant until it drips onto his foot and snaps him back to reality.

“Ah, shit” he hissed, quickly lifting the glass up. 

Turning his attention back to the window, he watches as you enter the living room. It’d been empty for a long time; he was curious as to who would move in there. All the apartments were pretty much the same. What made this apartment so special was that it was directly across from his. With uncurtained windows, he could look right inside from his.

Hypnotized by you, he’s frozen in place. The feeling is all too foreign for him.

Louis isn’t exactly a social butterfly. In fact, he always found easier to avoid people as much as humanly possible. Not out of fear, but out of disdain. At the height of his career with Video Production News taking off, he strongly believes he’s learned to manipulate normal human emotions which he’s almost never felt.

There’s just something about you that brings out some of those unfamiliar feelings in him and floods him with desire. Attraction surely has a hand in it. No one could deny your beauty, and your body makes only more difficult for him to ignore you.

Infatuated by you, he watches you attentively from the corner of his window. He can’t let you see him. He can’t let you catching him staring at your ass curve as you bend down to pick up a box outside. The leggings you wear provoke him further, outlining your panty on the back and mound in the front.

He doesn’t even know your name yet, but you already have his imagination going wild. It’s almost like you’re calling for him.  

With his blood flowing straight down to his cock, he zones out daydreaming about what you’d look like on all fours, bent down with your face buried in his sheets. He thinks about how round your ass would look perched in the air for his gaze; how inviting your pussy would look from behind; how soft your skin must feel despite the goosebumps he’d make you feel.

Such a pretty little thing for him to violate.

His hand seems to have a life of its own as it reaches his crotch, palming his twitching cock over his gray slacks. He knows, right there and then, that he has to have you and his devious mind is already churning with a plan.

He decides to wait until the people helping you - who he assumes are your friend - leave. In the meantime, he times his exit to the precise moment everyone’s in your apartment having pizza to make a quick run to Bob’s Market around the corner.

He needs an excuse to approach you without raising any alarms in your mind. He needs you to feel safe around him; make you think he has only the most genuine interests at heart.

Chocolate chip cookies should do just that. Who doesn’t like chocolate chip cookies?

The warm L.A. sun shines down on him, illuminating his deviant plan. He wonders how he got so lucky to be at the right place, at the right time. He knows he has to do whatever he can to make you his.

No one will love you like he will. No one can take care and protect you the way he can. He would kill for you. How many people could do that without fearing the consequences for you? How many would devote themselves to you and do absolutely anything to keep you, even if he has to harm you?

Entering the store, he wanders around for a minute before opening the refrigerator door and grabbing a package of the ready-to-bake cookie dough. You really should be grateful. You got him baking before he even knows your name.

Fidgeting with his keys in his pockets, he eyes the supply store across the street. A lightbulb lights up in his head with an addition to his plan.

With the cookie dough in a plastic bag, he strolls over to the supply store. The ropes on display make him stop in his wandering stride.

“Not yet,” he tells himself.

Convincing himself to control his impulse, he picks up the silicone putty he came for and purchases it with ease.

“Locked myself out of my car the other day. Gotta make sure to a get copy of it made today, but I also got some errands to run. Life in L.A. never sleeps, does it?”

With his chin tilted down and eyebrows narrowed, his chuckle unsettles the cashier although the poor terrified man nervously smiles back. There is no ignoring the chills Louis gives him.

Unsettling people is in his nature and Louis hasn’t quite learned how to tweak that part of him. He supposes he has to practice his smile a little more in the mirror.

As he arrives back to his building, he overhears one of the guys coming out of the building to collect another box. You’re nowhere in sight thankfully, so he lowers his head and pushes the sunglasses perched on his nose up along its bridge.

Once inside, he heads to the bathroom for a quick piss. As he’s washing his hands, his stoic gaze lifts. He stares at the mirror emotionlessly.

He knows right from wrong. His methods may be questionable, but they’re not done without thought and calculation.

Opening the medicine cabinet, the transparent orange bottle of sleeping pills seems to glow at him. He knows he shouldn’t. It’s morally wrong, but when has moral high ground ever stopped him before?

Tucking the bottle into his pocket, he closes the cabinet before staring at his reflection. He’s determined to do whatever he has to. He needs to have you. This is hopeless love at first sight. Many people wish for love like his.

Once the cookies are baked and cooled off, he’s stood in the kitchen assembling them into the nicest plastic container he owns when he overhears you saying goodbye to your friends down below. He rushes to the window.

If anyone of the people assisting you are in a relationship with you, this would be the time to find out, right? A kiss on the lips or – if the man is anything like the boyfriend you should have – he’d offer to stay and help you unpack. Maybe christen the new home.

Louis doesn’t even realize how he’s holding his breath until it finally fogs the glass when he breathes out. You hug the men one by one. There’s no kiss on the lips. His hopes get higher as he smirks to himself.

Your conversation is distant, but he can hear better after he cracks his window open just a little bit.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay and help you unpack?” Matt asks.

He freezes and deception grows in his chest along with a pang of anger.

“Yeah, I’m sure. You guys have done so much already with the packing and carrying all the boxes.”

“We wouldn’t mind staying longer to help you,” Tyler joins in.

“No, really. I’m good,” you chuckle at their insistence. “I got this, guys. Don’t worry.”

“Alright. Just call if you need anything else. And thank you for the pizza and beer,” Matt smiles at you. “And I’m really sorry about all this mess.”

“Will you stop apologizing? I understand entirely. Just make sure you take care of my best friend and her baby and we’re good” you smirk moving to hug Matt after hugging Tyler. Relief washes over Louis. He concludes they’re only friends.

“I’ll see you later then. Take care.”

You nod and wish the same back to Matt. You watch the boys head out towards their car as you stand in the entrance's doorway.

While you begin unpack in the early afternoon, Louis realizes he needs to wait until it’s early evening for his plan to be precisely timed with the darkness of the night.

The cookies are done and now, he has to wait.

The move was smoother than you’d expected.

You had to move out when your roommate Cara told you she’d be needing more room since she found out she and Matt were expecting a child. With him moving in and a baby to prepare for, the apartment would be even more crowded than it was at the time. And you couldn’t agree more.

It was a sudden bomb, sure, but the fact that they knew that and were willing to do whatever they could to help softened the blow a whole lot. Matt even offered to pay for the entire move, but you couldn’t let them do that. Especially with a baby on the way.

Time was all you asked for and they made sure to give you plenty of it. So, instead, he offered to help with the move physically with the assistance of his younger brother Ty.

Once the brothers drove off safely, you walk back to your apartment. Thankfully, there are only two levels to the condo, and your apartment is on the ground level.

You look around your new home as you think about where to start so you decide to set up your sound system to get some music playing. Music always helps to provide a sense of company and pass the time.

You begin with the bedroom since you figure it’ll take most of your time. Besides, it’d be nice to not have to worry about where you’ll sleep when you’re too tired to continue and decide to call it a night.

Afterwards, you move to the kitchen to start organizing everything into its rightful place. You want to make sure you have your flow down. Coffee powder, filters and mugs go above the coffee maker. Plates, bowls and silverware go near the stove. Glasses go next to the fridge. Dish towels go in the drawer by the sink.

With every item neatly and strategically placed, the feeling of independence blossoms. This is your home now. Your haven. The very air you breathe smells of freedom. You can’t help, but smile as you look around and admire the apartment, although you realize it definitely needs more furniture.

Now that you don’t have to consult anyone anymore about placing artwork on the walls or buying an armchair, you can gradually work your way into giving the apartment a more personal touch.

Soon after you set all the pots and pans in a cabinet below the counter, you hear a knock at your door. You frown as you hesitate for a moment, thinking about who it could be.

Maybe it’s Matt and Tyler coming back to pick something they’d forgotten up. It has to be; you told very few people about your move and even fewer knew your new address. You weren’t expecting to have any guests over either.

So, you walk stealthily quiet towards the door to peer through the tiny peephole.

There’s a man standing on the other side of the door. You don’t know him. You’ve never seen him before, but the plastic container in his hands intrigues your curiosity.

“He’s probably just a neighbor”, you reassure yourself.

Louis notices your shadow casting underneath the door from the other side. The simple fact that you’re already acknowledging his existence has his heart thrumming with adrenaline and excitement, which he forces himself to contain.

“She knows me now,” he thinks to himself.

Watching him glance down at the foot of the door, you realize he must already know you’re at the door. He can see you. At this point, it would just be rude to pretend you’re not home, but you’re not sure who he is.

All you can tell is that he seems pretty attractive through the peephole which isn’t really helpful, but it does entice you to open the door.

“Can I help you?”

“Uh, hi. I couldn’t help but notice you just moved in earlier today. My name’s Louis. I’m your neighbor. I live in the next building in apartment 3F.”

He doesn’t sound threatening. His voice is actually softer than his appearance. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something about him gives you the chills and you can’t figure out what or why.

“I’m not a raging psycho killer if that’s your concern,” he chuckles eerily. “I’ve just lived here for a few years. I always bring cookies to new neighbors,” he lies.  “Just a modest way to welcome people, I suppose. The city of Los Angeles is harsh enough. Why must we be the same?” he smiles strangely, making for an awkward moment of silence.

“Would you like me to leave them by the door?” he continues.

It’s like he can almost smell your hesitance through the door.

How does he know?

Not wanting to seem rude on your first day on the block, you unlatch the locks on the door and open it up with a tight-lipped polite smile.

God, you look even prettier up close. It’s hard for him to hide his admiration. You could never tell, but he’s battling the impulse to pin you down and fuck you senseless.  You’d look so lovely all tied up for him.

You can’t deny he has some of the most beautiful features you’ve ever seen. His clean-shaven face flaunts a few brown freckles. Faded smile lines curve around his long nose and thin rosy lips, making the latter more inviting they already are. His jaw is prominent from his tall, slim build. Large doe eyes as blue as Neptune are framed by a pair of thick eyebrows that makes his gaze even more intimidating. Dimples depress into his hollowed cheeks as he smiles charmingly at you, revealing his perfectly lined teeth.

“Thanks. That’s very thoughtful of you,” you respond with a soft voice, reaching for the container. “I’d invite you in, but my apartment is a mess right now. I’d rather you see it when it’s less chaotic.”

“Yeah, it’s no problem,” he affirmed with a sinister smile. “Like I said, I just wanted to welcome you to the block. If you need help with anything, I’d be more than pleased to assist you in any way possible.”

He looks very friendly and very well-spoke, but you can’t shake how his vacant his eyes seem to be.

Maybe it’s the slightly greasy medium length brown hair parted to the side and tucked behind his ears. Maybe it’s how he towers over you with hunched shoulders and casually scans the apartment behind you between his words. Maybe it’s the outdated button-down shirt he’d worn that made it seem like an attempt at dressing formal.

You’ve only just met the man, but something about him has your squeezing your thighs together. Someone about him draws you in and turns you on in a way that you simply cannot explain.  

“Thank you. I will do that,” you assure him. “Sorry, what’s your apartment again?”

“I live in 3F. It’s located in the neighboring building just across.”

“3F,” you repeat making a mental note of his home number. “Yeah, I’ll stop by if I need anything.”

“Please don’t hesitate. I’m always happy to be of service. I will let you return to your previous engagement, I’m sorry if I’ve interrupted anything.” He knows he hasn’t, but he needs you to believe this wasn’t planned. “I look forward to seeing you around, Y/N. It was a pleasure meeting you.”

 “Yeah, same to you, Mr. Bloom.”

You hold your hand out to shake his. He almost swoons at your formality. Manners mean everything to him, so he reaches out and shakes your hand with gently firm grip.

The veins on his pale hands have your pussy growing wet at the thought of them inside your cunt. You’re sure he could reach your special spot with such long slender fingers. You wonder how many of them you could fit inside your pussy simultaneously.

“Please, call me Lou,” he grins baring his perfect teeth.

“Lou, then,” you smirk correcting yourself. “I will see you around. Thanks again.”

“Enjoy the cookies.”

He turns around with a smile and calmly walk down the hallways towards the exit. His hand burns with the shadowing touch of your hand lingering on his skin.

You close the door behind and lean against the wood with a curious frown. You had expected him to live on the same floor or at least in the same building.

You shake off the thought as you lock your door and admire the cookies he’d brought on your walk back to the kitchen. It really is a kind gesture, one you thought only happened in movies. And you just happen to love cookies.

The pieces of his plan have all been set and now he can only wait.

To make his time useful, he decides to sit and think about every single process of his plan. He cannot be unprepared. There cannot be any surprises.

He starts with the locks and walks to his door, standing still and hollow as he stares at the rusty and faded golden locks. Assuming all the apartments are the same, he closes his eyes to remember the details of your encounter. He remembers hearing a chain slide open and the mechanical twisting click. They appear to be the same as the locks on his door.  

He opens his eyes and studies them carefully, thinking about how to get the chain open believing it to be his only obstacle. The twist lock would be easy. His thieving days have been behind him for a while now – his company is doing great enough; he doesn’t have to steal anymore – but breaking and entering is still second nature to him. Picking a lock is hardly a challenge.

Sitting at his computer, he researches ways to unhook the chain. He quickly finds a quick and simple method that doesn’t involve leaving any evidence behind, so he grabs his tool kit and searches for the only two object he needs.

Once he’s confident enough after a few successful attempts from inside his home, he proceeds to lock his door once more and climbs out an open window. With his apartment at ground level, it allows him to climb out with ease. He leaves it open just in case his practice test turns out unsuccessful.

He walks around to the building’s entrance with the kit, a small roll of duct tape and a rubber band.

After successfully picking his twist lock open from the outside this time, he opens the door to the extent of the chain. His long arm allows him to reach inside. Once the rubber band is hooked through a link of the chain, he tapes the other end of the rubber band to the door. That way, when the door closes, the chain slides to the furthest end with the movement, unlocking itself and falling to the side to hang freely.

A grin creeps onto his lips, stretching grimly as pride fills him. Old habits die hard; he giggles knowing he can still be the sneaky thief when he needs to be.

Meanwhile, you decide to indulge on a short coffee break, so once your coffee is made, you sit on your couch to enjoy the sweet treat your new neighbor was kind enough to gift you with.

If he hadn’t already been infatuated by you before, he is now in love with you. He can’t stop thinking about your sweet nature and manners. His heart races as his mind lingers on your smile and the thought of your voice. He’s eager to learn every single detail about you.

Despite being a workaholic, he decides tonight is a special exception because you’re just special like that.

Back inside his apartment, Louis calls his second-in-command of Video Production News to inform his team he won’t be joining them on the hunt for coverage tonight.

“A more important and rather urgent setback has presented itself and, in order to prevent further undesired and unpredicted hindrances, I have to eliminate them now.”

Having worked closely to Louis, his team knew better than question him. His strict tone while reminding them to be on their best behavior only enforces that he is not to be disappointed.

It isn’t even 9 p.m. but you’re feeling beyond exhausted at this point. The coffee you had a couple hours ago was in vain. It seems to have given you the opposite effect.

You try to persist on unpacking, but your body feels so heavy already. It must be from all the exercise of moving. Lifting heavy boxes, walking up a couple flights of stairs, kneeling and standing. It’s been a very busy day and you’re just tired.

You make your way to the bathroom for a quick shower.

Due to the weight your tired limbs and their dragging, you opt to not wash your hair. It would take too much energy that you simply don’t have. You can barely keep your eyes open as you rinse the lathered soap off your body.

You don’t even bother putting on underwear. Just a t-shirt will have to suffice because that’s all you muster before you collapse on your bed.

Its’ cozy embrace enraptures you into a deep sleep and, within seconds, you’re out cold.

Louis watches you exit the bathroom from his window. His breath hitches when he sees you drop your towel on the floor of your bedroom.

The medicine is kicking in as he predicted.

He smirks to himself, proud of his achievement. Excitement floods through him when he notices you didn’t bother much with clothes. That’ll make his job so much easier.

His true self comes forth, shedding him of his friendly – or his attempt at it - facade.

He ties his hair into a small bun behind his head.

He planned this already to make sure he wouldn’t need much. Just his camcorder, latex gloves, a key mold. This may be the first time, but it certainly will not be the last. The last object he takes along is a pocket knife that he strongly hopes he won’t have to use.

His stride is calm though his heart pounds in his chest. He prays the got dosage just right enough so you don’t wake up.

His eyes scan around as he crosses the small courtyard to your building. No one is outside; no one has seen him.

As he reaches your door again, he slides the gloves onto his hands. It doesn’t take him long to enter your apartment with quiet footsteps after all the practice he’s had.

He’s never felt closer to anyone in his life than right now.

The apartment has you all over it. These are your belongings. In a way, he feels as if he’s penetrating his way into your intimacy. The thought is enticing enough to make his cock harden a little in his pants.

He wanders around your new home with his camcorder already filming, opening boxes and cabinets and drawers as he roams. He needs to record every detail about you. What do you like to eat? What are your movie preferences? What music do you listen to? Do you read? Reading is important to him. It is a sign of intellect.

You don’t seem to have any pets. If you had a dog, it would’ve been aware of his presence already. There aren’t any bowls of food and water set out. Much like him, you seem be a loner.

The apartment is much like his. Small enough for one. No bedroom. Just a kitchen near the entrance with a window at the other end. A small bathroom and closet for your clothes.

He wonders what you usually smell like as he enters the bathroom. He finds your shampoo and condition and raises each to his nose. Then your deodorant. And your perfumes. He closes his eyes, admiring how heavenly you smell.

He makes sure to film the label of your perfume to buy one later and spray it against his pillow so he can sleep with the scent of you every night.

Can’t you see how much he loves you?

As he silently makes his way towards your living room, he gulps with anticipation. His palms grow clammy as he stares at you, asleep in your bed.

Despite his excitement, his hand reminds steady as he focuses the filming on you. For a couple moments, he stands at the foot of your bed just watching you sleep.

You look so pretty. So peaceful.

He would slaughter whoever attempted to disturb you. He knows it’s rather ironic, but he’s so captivated by you.

He can’t stay away. He wishes he could climb into your bed; that he could wrap his arms around you, inhale your scent, touch and kiss you over every inch of your body to worship you as you deserve to be worshipped.

That’ll take time, but he will make it happen somehow.

Eventually snapping out of his daydream, he moves to the dresser and pulls open a couple drawers.

The first has your jewelry and accessories. He studies them to better understand your taste hopefully for future reference. He’s encouraged to take a ring, so he could wear it around and take a part of you with him everywhere he goes.

He finds a small one that is big enough to fit on his picky. It’s nothing too special. Just a thin silver band that you happen to have a few of in different size. It would be easy for you to assume it got lost in the move, if you notice it at all.

The second contains what he is looking for: your panties. His eyes grow darker as he rummages through them, picking the sexiest ones to lay out on the wooden surface of the dress to film them better.

The thought of you wearing them for him has his cock hardened completely and leaking with pre-cum. He can feel the wet spot soaking his underwear. He would give anything to have you wear them, rubbing the lacy fabric against his face and cock with your pussy.

He takes turns smelling each of them, inhaling the sweet intoxicating scent of your pussy and fabric softener.

He finds a sexy lacy pair in his favorite color as he sets the panties back in their drawer. That one belongs to him now.

The urge to rub his cock to completion gets harder to control as he tucks the panty into his pocket. A dark thought blooms within his mind as he focuses back on your sleeping figure.

You’re so unconscious that you don’t even feel him lifting the covers. He has to bite his bottom lip when he sees you’re in the perfect position for him.

“Such a little fucking whore. Bet she loves getting rammed. Probably loves doing what Nina rarely ever did,” he thinks to himself.

You’re on your side with the top leg bent up and spread against the mattress. With your other leg stretched out underneath, providing Louis with the perfect shot of your bare pussy.

He lifts his camera to pan the frame slowly onto the sight of your pretty little puffy pussy displayed just for him.

He can’t help but palm his cock through his trousers. He needs to cum. It’s starting to hurt. His balls are just so full and his cock, so painfully hard.

He growls lowly at your exposure and freezes instantly, watching if he woke you up. You don’t stir in the slightest, not even when his long slender fingers gently part your plush lips to spread them open for his private little video.

Licking his gloved fingers, he savors the taste of your cunt and hisses contently. He smiles devilishly when you don’t react to his fingertips slowly probing your entrance. Until the moment you finally turn onto your back, unconsciously spreading your legs even wider.

He wonders if you’re awake and enjoying his little teasing, but judging by your steady breathing, you’re sleeping like a rock.

He licks his lips at the pussy opportunity splayed out in front of him.

His menacing gaze narrows on the sight between your displayed pussy as he unbuttons his pants and pulls them down enough to let his cock spring free. He thinks about penetrating you and fucking you with just his tip. Would it wake you up?  

He carefully climbs onto your bed and positions himself on his knees between your legs with his camera back in hand. He spits in his gloved hand and gathers his leaking pre-cum to lube his cock up. The slick latex against his skin makes the stroking even easier.

Staring down at your beautiful folds, he wishes he could take his time, but truth be told, he’s so fucking hard already and he needs to get it out of his system.

Your cunt looks so pretty and juicy that he wishes you could use his face as a seat all day.

His cock throbs in his hand as he gently pressed his tips between your folds, pausing only to zoom the camera in on your pussy and his cock now perfectly aligned and connected.

God, it feels so perfect like your pussy was made for his cock. So warm and soft against his. He can’t imagine what you feel like inside. He wants nothing more than to pump you full of his cum until it drips out, just so he could push the leakage back inside with his cock.

The thought alone is enough to get him close. He has to be careful and slow.

He pushes his cock past your pretty lips slowly. With his mouth hanging open in an O, he closes his eyes as he fights back a moan. You feel so deliciously good and tight around him. He doesn’t want to cum to just yet though.

The movement of his hips is slow as he takes his time pushing in and pulling out. He could swear you’re wet, but he assumes it’s just his eager cock.

Carefully setting your legs to drape around his thighs for a better position, his pace picks up a little.

At this point, the friction of his cock and your perfect pussy is audible to him, but it doesn’t seem to even bother you. He doesn’t even care about anything other how deliciously heavenly your cunt feels.

He’s close. So fucking close. He pauses his movement, holding his cock inside your walls to reach up and gently push your shirt up past your chest.

He toys with your exposed tits. He needs to feel you.

Hooking his teeth under the rim of the glove at his wrist, he uses them to remove his hand from the glove. Once it’s tucked into his pockets, he reaches up to continue playing with your breasts.

He licks his lips imagining them wrap around your nipples, suckling and biting your tender flesh to mark you and let everyone know what a whore you are, but most importantly his whore.

He just has to get his mouth on them. They look too irresistible to miss what could be the only opportunity he has.

He sets the camera on the bed beside you to film himself fucking you while simultaneously sucking on your tits, kneading them each in his large hands.

He’s balls deep in your tight cunt now. You must be so damn drugged because your eyes aren’t even moving and your breathing is still steady. Even if you were dead, it wouldn’t stop him for fucking you. He just loves you that much.

After giving your breasts the well-deserved attention, he can’t hold back anymore and believes he doesn’t have to.

If you haven’t woken up by now, then pounding your pussy raw definitely won’t wake you up.

So  he grabs the camcorder again and starts fucking you harder and faster like a filthy little slut with his hand groping at your tits, making sure to get your pussy and tits all in one angle.

He wants to watch your tits bounce as he pounds your cunt mercilessly when he jacks off to the video later.

Sliding his hand to your hip to hold you steady, he relishes how the wet slap of skin-on-skin echoes through your apartment.

He wishes you could be awake to scream his name until your neighbors complain with fists to their walls.

It’s all too much.

He soon pulls out just in time to coat your pussy with his pearly white load.

You just look so pretty painted with his cum.

“My Mona Lisa,” he thinks to himself. “That’s what I’ll name this footage.”

Pulling his cock away, he lowers the camera for a close-up of his masterpiece taking his time to get every single angle of the white streaks on your flesh.

Staring intently at your cunt with wide eyes as he films, the feeling that floods him is the same at the one he felt on the night of the car crash in Benedict Canyon. This is another of his greatest accomplishments. He pants with adrenaline.

Curiously, he dips two fingers into his bodily ‘paint’ and toys with it, enjoying how slick your lips feel on his fingers. If he wasn’t so spent right now, he’d go at again and again.

He wonders how he’s going to clean you up now. He made a mess on your pussy. He can’t leave you in this state. It’ll be too obvious when you wake up in the morning.

Setting his camera on your bed to get him in the shot once again, he scoots down your bed and aligns his mouth to your coated pussy.

Snaking his arms under your thighs – letting them dangle over his shoulders – his hands reach your breasts to gently knead them. He wants to squeeze them hard, but he’s worried that might be the final drop that wakes you up.

He doesn't mind that his cum is all over your. It's really an excuse just to get his mouth on your cunt.

He takes his time letting his tongue explore your pussy, swiveling over every mound of your lips and dipping into every valley. Using his fingers to pry your pussy open, he stretches you enough to delve his tongue into your used hole.

He was careful not to cum inside you, but he yearns to taste you.

Deciding you’re clean enough, he carefully removes himself to stand and takes his camera to record each angle of your used naked figure, carefully circling around your room and zooming in your pussy, tits and face.

You look so pretty and innocent in comparison to he violated you.

Taking the advantage of your position, he quickly sets his camera on your nightstand and rushes to the bathroom to find something to clean you up with.

Locating some wet wipes under your sink, he turns the hot water to warm a couple sheets and heads back to clean you up.

He thoughtfully lowers your shirt and covers your body back up. He’s not a complete monster; there is genuine care for you in him.

He kisses your head gently before stepping back to look for any further evidence.

Heading towards the door, he finds your keys handing up on the wall. There aren’t many. Just three. So, he tests each one out to find your apartment key. Once he does, he takes the silicone putty he’d placed in an old and empty Altoids metal container.

He stamps the key into the mold twice, making sure to get both sides of the key perfectly imprinted.  

His copy of your key has to be perfect to save time for the next time.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dating Yandere Hans Landa Would Include:

As a Yandere he is quite possessive, he'll do anything to make sure you're only his. He will find any excuse to be close to you, including using spying "techniques". he will get jealous over the simplest things, and he won't tolerate being away from you too long. He will do everything he can for your affection and attention.

His yandere tendencies would go a step further – he may display stalking behavior, keeping a very close eye on his love interest's every move, and may even resort to kidnapping to keep you all to himself. He'd try to isolate his love from others, wanting your complete attention and devotion, and could even become controlling, trying to dictate how you should behave and what you should wear.

He would constantly need reassurance from you and would need to be the center of your world. Any sign of perceived abandonment or rejection would cause him great distress and could lead to irrational and potentially harmful behavior like stalking, harassment, or even physical violence. He would try to isolate his love interest from friends and family and could become increasingly controlling over your actions and decisions. His intense devotion and possessiveness could border on suffocating for you.

Hans could also display controlling and manipulative behavior to ensure you stay loyal to him. He might try to control your social interactions, activities, and even your career or education choices to keep you under his influence. His jealousy and possessiveness could lead him to demand constant communication and attention, and he might even resort to stalking or surveillance to keep tabs on his love interest's whereabouts and activities.

As a yandere, Hans also has a bad tendency to control and manipulate his love interest. He could try to dictate your actions, decisions, and even your appearance and opinions to maintain control in the relationship. He'd likely be highly critical and dismissive of any feelings or opinions that don't align with his own and could use guilt or shame to keep you compliant. He could also be prone to emotional and verbal abuse. He's also prone to violent or harmful actions if he feels threatened or possessive.

He exhibits obsessive behavior, always needing to know where you are and who you are with. He could try to constantly check in on you, monitor your activities, and even try to sabotage any potential relationships or friendships that could interfere with your own. He might also exhibit extreme jealousy and possessiveness, which could lead to lashing out at anyone he perceives as a threat to the relationship. He would be reluctant to let you out of his sight and might use controlling tactics to keep you close to him.

He has extreme mood swings and emotional instability. He could switch between being intensely happy and loving one moment, to becoming explosive, angry, or even paranoid the next. He would be susceptible and reactive, and his emotions could swing wildly in response to even minor things that he perceives as a threat to his love. He would have a hard time managing his own emotions, and might constantly seek reassurance and validation from his love interest to feel reassured and secure in the relationship

He has a twisted sense of love and might try to convince you that you are completely dependent on him. He engages in gaslighting or emotional manipulation to make you doubt your own feelings or actions, making you more dependent on him. He would constantly need reassurance and would try to keep you under his control by using threats or blackmail to keep you from leaving him.

As a yandere, he has a tendency to be very dependent on you emotionally and psychologically. He could rely on you as a primary source of comfort and support, becoming extremely upset or unstable if you are not available to fulfill his need for attention. He could be excessively clingy and demanding, requiring your undivided attention, and become extremely jealous if you spend time with anyone else.

He likely prioritizes taking you out on romantic and elaborate dates to make you feel special and appreciated. He would go above and beyond to plan the perfect outing, like candlelit dinners or private boat rides. He might also have a tendency to be excessively controlling or protective during these dates, making sure no one else interferes with your time together and only allowing you to interact with people he approves of.

Hans would likely use gifts and rewards to reinforce your positive behavior and to express his affection for you. He might even go overboard, gifting you expensive and extravagant gifts to demonstrate his devotion. On the other hand, he could also be prone to withholding rewards or even using them as a weapon during conflicts. He could threaten to take them away as a way to control your behavior and make you compliant with his demands.

He would likely have a tendency to use punishments as a means of exerting control and disciplining you. He might become hostile, violent, or resort to verbal abuse when he perceives that you have disobeyed or upset him in some way. He could also try to control your behavior by imposing restrictions, such as limiting your freedom or access to things that bring you joy. He might even threaten severe consequences if you don't comply with his expectations or demands.

He would be extremely sensitive and reactive to conflicts or arguments with you. He would likely struggle with dealing with disagreements and become easily defensive or hostile. He might also resort to emotional manipulation or guilt-tripping to make you feel bad and take responsibility for the conflict. He could use his knowledge of your weaknesses and insecurities against you to win arguments or get his way.

Hans would likely put on a charming and charismatic front in public, he would have a possessive and controlling demeanor when interacting with you. He would also be very protective and territorial when it comes to the relationship and might become hostile or confrontational if he perceives that anyone else is threatening or trying to interfere.

He would exhibit a mix of intense affection and manipulative behavior. He might shower you with praise, gifts, and demonstrations of his devotion, and be very attentive and romantic. However, this affection could also be used to control and manipulate you, as he would expect you to return his affection in equal measure and might become upset or angry if you do not reciprocate in the way he expects.

If you wanted to break up, Hans in yandere mode would likely react fiercely. He might refuse to accept the breakup, trying to change your mind through emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, threats, or even physical violence. He could also threaten to hurt himself or others if the break-up went through, and might become extremely vengeful or destructive in response to the rejection. He might also try to manipulate his partner with promises of love, attention, and devotion in an attempt to keep you from leaving.

He would likely be very invested in the idea of marriage, as it is a symbol of ultimate commitment and possession. He might be very determined to marry you, even if it means resorting to manipulation, pressure, or trickery to make it happen. He might be very controlling in planning the wedding and could try to manipulate his partner into agreeing to a wedding that suits his own desires rather than your own. He would likely expect his partner to be completely devoted and loyal to him in marriage and might be very possessive and jealous of anyone who interferes with the relationship.

Hans would likely be very focused on the idea of having children with his love interest as a way of cementing and solidifying the bond and relationship. He might be very determined to have children with you, even if it means resorting to manipulation, pressure, or trickery to make it happen. He might also see children as a way to keep you dependent and emotionally attached to him, which further reinforces his desire to have children. He would likely expect his partner to be fully committed to your new role as a parent and expects you to prioritize the family over anything else.

If you were unable or unwilling to have children, he as a yandere would likely react extremely negatively. He might try to manipulate or pressure you into changing your mind, making you feel guilty or inadequate for being unable to have children. He might also blame himself and become very distressed, feeling like he is unable to create the perfect family unit that he desires. He could also become very jealous of other families and resentful towards you. In extreme cases, he might resort to violence or threats to enforce his desire to have children.

"I will do anything for you. I will kill for you. I will die for you. You are the light of my life, the air that I breathe. You are my world, my everything. I will never let anyone hurt you. I will never let anyone touch you. You are mine and mine alone. No one else deserves you but me."

Hair pulling - Yanking on your hair during sex adds an element of roughness and intensity that he craves. It's a way for him to exert control over you and mark you as his.

Bondage - Tying you up and leaving you helpless is a great way to show his dominance and control. Seeing you struggle against your restraints only fuels his arousal further.

Verbal degradation - Nothing turns him on more than hearing you beg for mercy while he degrades you. Hearing you plead for relief and call him names only fuels his desire to continue tormenting you.

Orgasm denial - Making you reach the brink of orgasm but denying you release is a sadistic pleasure of his. The frustration and desperation you experience only fuels his arousal further.

Gagging - He loves seeing you struggle to breathe as his cock forces its way deeper into your throats. The sound of your choked gasps, and the sight of tears rolling down your cheeks is incredibly erotic.

[isa-ghost]

Could I mayhaps have some hc!philza headcanons? Could be him in his hardcore, or how his time in hardcorr affects him now maybe? :D

OUGH YES.

So these will be operating off the theory that qPhil is hcPhil with his memory fucked up by the Federation. I'm gonna aim for "pre island, this is how qPhil was" but we'll see what happens as I actually write these LOL

What if I call these Pre-Dilf Edition in the masterlist SKFJSKFJSKFHF

10/10 would read the hardcore deity set I did recently to go with these :D

qPhil headcanons masterlist

He either had a flawless sleep schedule (early to bed early to rise ass mf) or no sleep schedule at all (spending 3+ nights hyperfocused on smth). It made for a very loopy Phil sometimes, which his murder of crows very much enjoyed

This man can fit so much joy and whimsy in him. Everything is awesome, everything is a breathtaking work of art and everything is decades of rich history to uncover. He loves life, he loves the passage of time, he loves teaching the murder about what he finds & restores

That's his main hobby besides being a survivalist, restoration and an informal form of archiving. He sketches the builds, takes notes on the deities, adds his own little touches to each place to make it a little prettier

He could fly for hours. Sometimes he'd fly aimlessly into late into the night, too immersed in sight-seeing and chatting with the murder

He had little altars in Flowerfall, Nether Void & Greater Spawn Islands for OO, BE, and Rose respectively. He'd leave little shiny things, trinkets that made him think of them, offerings like cooked fish or blaze rods or flowers in little offering bowls. Just as a nice, more direct way of giving them thanks for creating something so beautiful and allowing him to restore it to its former glory

He fucking loves swimming and fishing and hanging out at Endlantis, he'd just very aggressively avoid the cave that is EK's tomb. It was extremely haunted, he never got good vibes down there

He sometimes considers making his own remarkable build as a sort of "I was here, I too am a mark upon this history" but looks at his house and is like "mmmmbetter not" (he's an idiot, he could 100% build something cool, just probably not on the scale of the builds the gods have created. He'd probably create it for Goddess of Death, not even himself 💀)

Obligatory gapple addiction mention. It didn't start because of the murder, but he definitely used them as an excuse to further indulge once he started devoting eating one to the crows who'd been in the murder for a year. He never really had a reason to quit, or worry about the addiction, so he never experienced negative effects from it. Gapples aren't exactly harmful, just.. tinged with just enough magic to infect the brain. (He never experienced withdrawal misery on QI bc the Feds wiped his memory so his body had no idea it should be having a bitch fit =) )

Semi-related, he loved the days where he and the murder lacked the motivation and focus to do restoration things so they'd just fuck off in a random direction for ages and go on loot sprees. Nothing more exciting than hunting for more god apples :D

He started out liking fishing. The murder got too obsessed and it became the bane of his existence. But he loves the murder, so he does it anyway. Besides, he wouldn't trade chill talks with them for the world. :')

Btw he doesn't know this but it was equal parts the Ender King & the Feds ripping rifts between the universes that got him caught and taken to QI. EK didn't plan for that to happen, he just wanted to escape to a new reality to find a vessel to come back to power. Which is why once Phil was on the island, EK went "Fuck it, I'll use that asshole since he's not only compatible, but from the same plane of existence"

Mobs never scared him much (except Enderman) despite the fact that they were very dangerous and he's a survivalist. He was practically a mob whisperer, it's how he trapped trophy ones, made certain farms and why he was 99% fearless when farming charged creepers. QI has so many mobs he's never seen in his life that his chill instincts are suddenly like AAAWTFWTF

He never felt truly alone despite being the only humanoid. He felt like Rose was always with him, very rarely OO, and the murder ofc. He could understand them and he'd talk to them all day every day. Not only that, he had pets like Pog and Champ and there were quite a few times he'd humanize inanimate objects, which scientifically helps keep you sane in isolation such as survival. He always felt like he had Something to socialize with

That said, he IS still a bit weird socially on the island. Socializing with humans is way different than crows, other animals, gods, and objects.

Btw Ian is God of Chaos (a lesser god like Goddess of Death) and other mods like Birder, D3 & Wolfy are notably larger or perhaps a different species of corvid that hang out among the murder :D

[henrenologist]

so because i rewatched s3/4 recently, when Hen is struggling with having to give Nia back to her mother, she says "we were supposed to have her for 2 months it's been a year" so i think it's not that they weren't told that Nia would go back to her biological mother, but they got attached to her (obviously 🥺) and maybe because she stayed with them for so long they assumed her mother wouldn't want her back or couldn't have her back? tbh it's still a bit.. that whole thing with Hen Refusing to give the child back. and picking a fight with Karen about it. always annoys me. it's the Angst and Drama show tho, so it's like of course there's gonna be Angst and Drama lmao

for one thing, yeah the bond she'd formed with nia made her irrational and angry when the time came to give her back, especially after she and karen had built themselves up with the expectation that they'd become a permanent placement for nia (although im not entirely sure where they got that idea from, beside the length of time they'd had her; the foster agency in 911verse is a nightmare at communication, evidently).

i think the extent of her frustrations can also be explained by hen's issues with loyalty. she's loyal to a fault. sorry im gonna use this ask as an excuse for meta posting:

eva. she didnt get closure when eva was arrested. so even after building a life with karen, hen still felt indebted to her ("i feel like i owe it to her," she says, ostensibly because eva "didn't fight us when we wanted to adopt denny" [ignoring the canon discrepancy regarding the circumstances of denny's adoption] but there's a deeper commitment there to eva). she wants to see the best in eva, and after having committed herself to helping eva for so long, i think that explains why she was still loyal to eva--one of the factors that contributed to her cheating.

chim. "You get to forgive and move on--I get to hold a grudge until I die." so we're all aware of how loyal hen is to chim, but it's important to note when that loyalty got in the way of their relationship. toward the end of s6, hen's frustration with maddie and doubts about chim's proposal was, imo, a little forced on the writers (in being shoehorned conflict) but not baseless. her loyalty is to chim first and foremost, and that loyalty twisted into an unfounded frustration with maddie for perceived "wrongs"--especially as hen was watching chim squirm over the issue of proposing himself.

s7 drunk driver. hen was angry with the rest of the team when they didn't lay down their unconditional trust in her judgement of the drunk driver. logically, hen might recognize that as professionals, it's right for them to have (1) a healthy amount of skepticism and (2) base their judgement on what they have seen for themselves. they hadn't seen and smelled what hen had, but understood that emotions were running high, and thus approached hen's situation with sympathy and measured trust in her assessment. but hen is upset regardless. she says, feeling that they dont have her back, "if the roles were reversed, I'd find a way to have your backs, and I wouldn't have to lie to do it." she's projecting her sense of loyalty onto the team, frustrated that they're not as apparently unconditionally devoted.

so. nia. hen developed an unconditional love for nia in that time that, naturally, translated to undying loyalty. but as demonstrated, her degree of loyalty can translate into misguided skepticism--and harm, at worst.

and hen's listening to nia "damn near crying her eyes out" over it all. nia's cries are haunting her. she's misguided trying to fight the source of nia's pain (and her own pain). she's seeing this whole situation as a threat to nia's well-being and identifying points of harm where there aren't necessarily any.

she's gravely concerned over what nia's mother did to lose custody in the first place, mistrustful of the positive judgement that deidra's giving them, mistrustful of the agency's assurances that nia will be cared for, and wanting to see the proof for herself that evangeline can care for nia.

it's only after seeing evangeline for herself, with assurances from karen on her capacity to care for nia, that hen can let go of her frustrations with evangeline, deidra, and karen. (just like how after talking to maddie she let go of her hesitancy around chim proposing. just like how seeing the team show up for her with the cruise ship disaster let her stop questioning their loyalty)

i'm not personally annoyed or frustrated with hen in the nia situation. i can't imagine never knowing the fate of your once-daughter and i'm not surprised hen wants to see the proof for herself. i think her desire to fight for nia was an expression of grief more than anything. her loyalty, maternity, and grief are all activated as opposed to the logic we usually see hen depend on.

it's like the call where hen continued cpr on a mother for 12 minutes. her devotion inhibits her from letting go. which was a lucky thing for that mother, but it's not always such a blessing for the people in hen's life.

[accio-victuuri]

MY SEPTEMBER READS. 💓

It’s been a productive month of reading for me, limited to manhua/manhwas. most of these are still ongoing so that may stop you from wanting to pick it up.

previous reads & recs : ( there are ofc novels, manhua/manhwas i have read that are not included here but enjoyed, for example — tgcf. )

Q&A Rec answered July 2021 //Recent Reads Series: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // November 2022 // January - March 2023 // April - August 2023

Solo novel recs: Cherry Blossoms Upon a Wintry Sword // The Moon is Coming to Me

Traces of the Sun ( 2 seasons completed, Ongoing )

One of my favorites and the photo I used for this entire post. The best thing here is that the MC is a necromancer in a sense, cause his power is restoration. The primary use if of course to restore and fix his environment like building etc but he somehow did the “forbidden” application of it which is to restore dead humans. This is set in the future and has that scifi kind of feel cause humans have “powers” and there are doorways that open — which teams have to complete to “win”. If you like that kind of premise then you will enjoy this. It reminded me of The Earth is Online so I had no problem getting into the plot, but if it’s your first time — it might be confusing.

The ML ( Hyeon ) is a red flag kind of guy and makes a deal with the MC ( Yiseon ) at the start of the story. It can be pretty dark & gloomy at times but hang in there. The quests are really exciting and the team dynamic is good <3 Their romance is kinda slow burn and i live for how Hyeon “changes” because of Yiseon. I’m really hoping for a happy ending!

The Promise ( 41 chapters completed )

I WANT MORE. I NEED. I understand some projects are only allowed upto a certain number of chapters but this was too good and could use more chapters or even side stories. I need to see An Nuo happy and enjoying the real world! 😭😭😭😭

Anyway, I picked this up cause I wanted another scifi/dystopian type of story after reading TOTS. This has that same trope. People with powers, and this time MC is someone who has a low level to no power, spending his time at an underground laboratory that treats humans as lab rats. Then comes the ML, someone from the “outside world” who needs to awaken his other power so he decides to go to the lab. They meet and well, that’s where the story starts.

If you can’t tell, I enjoyed this story so much!!!! The MC is the best. An Nuo <3 he’s so smart and I feel for him cause he was born in the lab, so he’s never seen the real world. He doesn’t know what a blue sky even looks like. As a reader, I was so invested for him to succeed and gain his freedom after 18 years of being a prisoner. Then you have ML, AHHHHHH!!!! He starts off as an asshole but then becomes so devoted so he’s forgiven. 😂😂😂😂

I’m looking for stories that are similar to this, so if you know one, let me know. ^^

Again ( 60 chapters completed ; ongoing side stories )

Regression. Entertainment Industry Setting. My weakness, so there’s no way i wouldn’t like it. But even tho it’s a trope I like, it’s still exceptional! Even if you don’t like this trope, it’s a solid story.

So you have the MC Han Nokyoung, who is an A list celebrity with a foul attitude. A scandal happens and he dies — then wakes up years before the incident so he decides to change things to have a better ending. He becomes entangled with Kang Junil in his “new” life — the same person who caused his scandal/downfall.

I like how the story flowed, and how the MC was portrayed as the scumbag he was in the past. There was no excuses, he was foul and did things that harmed people. So he has to atone. He has to change things if he wants to have a better future. There were also parts that I was scared that things will not change even if he chooses a different direction. The MC & ML romance too! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I love them! They are destined to be together. <3 KANG JUNIL BEING POSSESSIVE IS MY FAVE!

SKETCH ( Ongoing, Season 1 completed )

thank you for @ourbeloved1011 for recommending this!

They are precious! The art is beautiful! 💟

Modern story with two people trying to find their way into a relationship. The MC (Yikyung) is a smol bean that we must protecc! He loves too much and is the kind of person the ML (Joobin) just needs. I have to say it’s one of my comfort stories. It’s sweet. Funny and the smut is very hot without being vulgar. I swear, you can have 3 chapters of smut and it’s glorious!!!!

The age gap is also delicious. Even if it’s ongoing, I encourage you to read it. 🤍

HEARTHROB/ High Pulse ( Ongoing 24 chapters )

I usually don’t pick up stuff that’s just 20+++ chapters cause I think it’s too early to get a hang of the story or i would want more and have nothing. However I was intrigued, since it’s High School setting and Omegaverse.

Shut up. They are so cute! There is something about first loves & young love that gets me! It’s not all fluff and cute — i just wanna wrap them in a warm blanket and let them be happy. Anyway, in this setting, the MC/ML are turning 18 and that’s the time that they will be differentiated into Alpha/Omega or not. ML is expected to be an Alpha, and MC into an Omega. The MC has a heart condition, hence the title.

It’s just sweet. Sometimes i need a story that will make me squee!

LOOK AT THEM <3

( one of my favorite parts of the story 🤣🤣🤣 )

Love Meter 100 % ( 7 chapters completed )

A short and hilarious read!!!! MC is addicted to playing a RPG that is BL themed. He has a favorite character that he likes and one day, meets someone who looks exactly like that.

Don’t expect a ground breaking story. The plot twist is very nice tho.

Reunion ( Season 1 Completed ; Ongoing )

This story should be adapted into an Anime or a TV series cause it’s that good. The story telling is A +. If you love a non linear narrative and unreliable narrator then this is for you. My god. The mystery. The heart ache. The yearning. I’m freakin clenching my fists while reading it cause i can feel everything. Even how the panels are drawn adds to the story. Definitely up there as one of my top reads of the year.

the art style is gorgeous. the conflict is — AAAAHHHH!!! I can’t say too much to not spoil anyone reading this but if you read the summary, you’ll get an idea of what’s going on. MC pretended to be someone and had a relationship with the ML. Things happen, ML comes back and they meet each other but he (ML) forgot what happened (or did he????) and well… we try to uncover what really took place that summer and how they can have their happy ending this time.

This is a treat to experience. As a reader, you have to try and piece things together. You also can’t trust their recollections of what happened yet.

If there is 1 story you have to read in this post, let it be this one. It needs more audience!

Blood and Love ( Ongoing ; Chapter 20 )

The combination of someone who is fascinated with vampires + is a sunshine boy meets an actual vampire premise. Add that with uncensored smut. I really enjoyed it for what it is and i got so much secondhand embarrassment from the MC being such a simp 😂😂😂

No Moral ( Season 1 completed ; Ongoing )

I chose this because it’s set in a law firm — ML being a partner & big shot and MC a new junior associate. I did enjoy reading First Class Lawyer before so i thought to give it a chance, I made the right decision. 💕

It’s plot heavy and there are technical words but it didn’t turn me off. The cases are also interesting and this honestly makes me want to pick up the novel cause i wanna know what happens next. The hints of potential romance between them is 💓 and I hope that they get to a good place together.

I really like the character of the ML. Seheon Kang. He’s such a bitch. He reminds me of “Harvey” from the tv series Suits, all the attitude but none of the vices & women. He has family issues and will do everything to win. He may come off as stone-cold but he actually cares in his own way. Most of the comments I read about him, especially early on in the chapters is that he’s an asshole and they hate him. But it’s him. That’s how he is. I guess most people are going into this thinking it’s a “romance” and the ML should be this gentle dude. Well, “No Moral” is so much more than a romance. Even if this wasn’t a “BL” i would still read it for what it is. I love seeing him slowly lose his walls because of the MC tho. All I want for him is to have his freedom and get the taste of “someone” being on his side and will never leave him.

As for the MC, Yunshin, he’s definitely and Idealist. This is why he often gets into conflict with the ML. He’s young and usually does pro-bono cases ; He believes that the law always sides with the “innocent”. Tho he may come off as naive sometimes, I still that fight in him, especially when he does his best to pass Seheon’s tests!

I am excited for where this story will go ♥️

Everyday I want to be Number 1 ( till Chapter 23, Ongoing )

The trope of MC being the second place all the time and he wants to beat the ML who is always first place in academics and everything else. Then they get close and sparks fly ✨ I have read novels and other Manhuas like this but this one still got me.

A feel good read. Not sure if i’m gonna continue but I liked what i read so far.

Someone like you ( Season 1 completed ; Ongoing )

It’s sad and depressing. LOL. Idk why I picked it up but so far, I can’t help but feel frustrated with what’s happening. Some people who read this compared it to “Reunion” because they had a shared past and got separated. Also the gaps in ML’s memory regarding the MC. Also the MC thinking that their relationship is doomed. However, I think what’s lacking here is there is no “hope”, even if they communicate well, i feel like they keep going back to step 1. I understand why but it’s not making me want to continue on to the next seasons.

The art is very pretty tho ^^

Merry Marbling ( Chapter 33 ; ongoing )

First of all, everything is so pretty ✨ How can I resist? All panels are a treat!!!!

I was here mainly for the art, but I didn’t expect to get invested in the story that much. It may look like a superficial high school / slice of life kind of story but it’s so much more than that. Ian ( black hair ) is Mister Perfect. He is known as the “Angel” of their area and he literally can’t do no wrong — everyone likes him. Enter the new student Yugun, my dear sickly-angry-kitten son 😂😂😂 He doesn’t know Ian’s “history” & doesn’t get the hype about him. The story flows on their journey of being strangers to enemies to friends to lovers. 💕

I’m loving their character growth. Ian who does his best to please his mom and be the “perfect son” to being able to express himself and not think too much about what people will say. I really feel sorry for him, cause he’s a kid — he is allowed to make mistakes. The instances where he cries and almost has breakdowns when he does something wrong is not right. And it’s Yugun who calls him out on it, also encourages him to let loose sometimes. Yugun— who is closed off starts believing that he can have people to depend on, especially Ian. I really love Yugun 😂 He is chaotic. Don’t let the cute face fool you. He is a savage.

It’s also a really funny read. ^^ + the side characters are the type who add to the story, especially Mi Rye!

Follow your Heart ( completed )

Hello! Look at how beautiful they are! I am weak. Very weak. An upright taoist cultivator who lives high up in the mountains and a demonic cultivator that owns the Ghost Valley. My favorite trope! 😍😍😍 Also Mister Demonic Cultivator waited for his love to come back after 100 years. I mean…. This Manhua is a combination of all my favorite things!

The pairing reminds me so much of Hua Cheng x Xie Lian 😭😭😭😭 I wish there were more chapters, cause it’s only 53 but part of me thinks they already told the story they have to and there is no use in prolonging it.

Anyway, the story is not that deep, compared to other plots in the same genre. You only have to know a few people and their goal is clear. If you’ve read or even watched stories with Cultivation World as the backdrop, it’s easy to get confused and there are a couple of subplots, you won’t have that problem with FYH. Ye Zigue needs to find his body and transfer his soul core in order to live again, also find out the truth about what happened years ago. The best part for me tho is the ML. Jiang Shu. 💕 He has that whole Hua Cheng thing going on for him. AHHHHHHH!!!!! He is perfect. Exactly the type of ML I prefer reading about. I usually prefer modern manhua/manhwa setting but decided to give this a go cause it’s already completed, so happy that I made that decision <3

Civilian A ( Chapter 24 ; Ongoing )

I should stop picking up stories that are only 24+ chapters but I can’t help myself. Esper/Guide trope which I haven’t really been reading that much of. I think it’s the same as Sentinel/Guide. && the art is beautiful so….

The pairing is Gold! Especially the ML, Yool, who is a scary S+ Esper who everyone avoids but for some reason is a puppy to our MC. There is obviously some backstory here, early on in the chapters, we are given the impression that they knew each other when they were young. ML did something along the way to keep MC safe and forget him. I recommend that people wait this out, the recent chapters are just getting exciting. Tho romance is a big part of the story, there is also a backdrop of politics and some commentary on the society. Definitely one that I will be waiting on every week to update. 💜

==============

BONUS: Other books ( physical ) I have finished this Month. <3

I’ve been wanting to try “before the coffee gets cold” trilogy and decided why the hell not. It’s definitely my kind of read. It’s not a very long book and you have 4 “short stories” in each but they are connected at some point. The concept of time travel here is unique ( you can only go to the past or future but you have to be seated in a particular chair. you can’t get up from your spot. nothing will change in the past or future no matter what you do or say. you can only see people who have been in the cafe too. your time is up when the coffee gets cold. ) and the stories will affect you. Reading this makes me want to visit this cafe lol to experience it. ☕️ only finished book 1 & 2, i’m saving the 3rd for October.

Jujutsu Kaisen 0. I rewatched the movie for the nth time so I picked up the manga too. I’ve also been collecting the official volumes and will get to that next. ^^ and I’m a Yuuta Simp so… 🤷🏻‍♀️

Kimetsu no Yaiba Volume 1-5. Same with JJK, i’m getting the volumes so reading em too. A perfect read to de stress after work.

Dune - I’ve always wanted to read this book cause as a sci fi fan, everyone said this is one of the best, but that made me so intimidated by it that i didn’t pick it up for years. and the fact that the copies i see are the really small and thick ones. But I watched the film last year and really enjoyed it, even re watching it so that’s when I knew i could “handle” it. I enjoyed every bit of it and I can’t wait to see the scenes come to life in the film this November ^^ I’m not planning on continuing on with the other books tho, I’m fine with just this one.

I have to say it’s been a really good reading month for me and I hope to maintain my momentum in the next couple of months. Not putting too much pressure on myself tho, but I hope I get to discover more enjoyable reads. ^^

[thelustybraavosimaid]

"Loneliness is a terrible thing, but so, too, is the hunger," Aemon felt for the lit candle before him, held onto it to warm his frail, wrinkled hands. "And with that hunger...when we do not heed it, we waste. Valyrians are meant to live long lives, as long as the dragons we claim—barring any maladies or ill-fated events, mind you—but without a soulmate and their blood, our lives are cut by half at the very least..."

Jon watched him as he adjusted the heavy chain resting at his thin neck, wondering. He flexed the fingers of his sword hand. Why is he telling me this? He was perplexed enough with his dreams...yet he couldn't help the curiosity that bloomed in his mind.

Jon may not be a Stark, but he felt Ghost's desire for fresh elk as if it were his own craving, the feeling so sharp on his tongue, the thought of hot crimson and chunked meat cascading down his throat mouthwatering. Was that common among werewolves with bonded loves, as it must be for vampyres? If so, mayhaps the Targaryens and the Starks were never so different, after all.

"...there was a girl I loved, did you know?" The skin around his milk-white eyes crinkled as he grinned. Jon was surprised by that; knowing how young he had been when he joined the maesters, he found it hard to believe he ever would have been romantically involved with another. Aemon sighed in remembrance. "I remember some about her, even still. The colour of her hair, the fairness of her skin, the soft way she spoke. I had already forged maester's links by then, devoted to my order and the lord I served. Yet I couldn't help the way I felt when I saw her.

I met her by chance; she served the lord as well, as a cupbearer. For a while we had gotten close, until I received the letter of my father calling his sons to the Red Keep. There was some...relief in leaving Oldtown. My father urging me to return home was a sound excuse, but there existed another reason why I had to, a deeper reason. A vampyre's bloodlust when it comes to our soulmates is almost consuming at times. It is painful when they're near and we cannot have them. In the past, such torment had driven some to madness.

My greatest fear was hurting her. I was torn back then; all I had devoted my life to was challenged with a single gaze of hers. Despite it, I had to choose my work instead. The both of us were miserable when I departed, but I knew it was for the best. I never would have forgiven myself if I had harmed her with my selfish impulses..."

Aemon's wizened voice drifted off as he fell into his memories. Jon sat in the silence as he dwelled in his own thoughts. Lately, his dreams had been strange, all-consuming, eerily real...but how much to reveal?

He decided on a far safer approach. "Do you remember her name?"

"I told you all the things about her that I can remember for a certainty," his smile carried a hint of morosity. "It has been nine-and-seventy years since last I glimpsed her. When you get to be as old as I, when the bond between soulmates is severed so early, you begin to forget certain details over time. My mind is still as deft as a blade, for the most part...yet I cannot remember her name..."

Silence fell over them once more, the quiet cut through with the occasional crackle of the hearth's firewood. Jon poured him a glass of wine, relieved when he accepted the goblet.

Aemon's white eyes peered over the rim of the goblet, finding him with ease. "You have had similar dreams, have you not? Do you know her name, Jon Snow? The one who plagues you so?"

...how could I forget?

Five years, eight months, and a fortnight had passed since he had last seen her, and yet the memory was fresh in his mind as if he had left Winterfell but a few hours ago. Jon closed his eyes, thinking of the last time he had seen her. She jumped into his arms when he gave her that skinny sword, stung his arm when she whapped him with the flat of her blade, drowned him in shy kisses in gratitude...

He thought of when she laughed and how the world felt warmer in response, chipping away at the jagged anger that lanced him.

He didn't want to leave, not her, not then...but after this, perhaps it was for the better. When he thought of her as she appeared in his dreams, of her striking grey eyes, her slender legs springy and longer, and the smell of earth and snow that clung to her skin, Jon's breath choked on a trembled gasp. His teeth sharpened, pressing down into the meat of his bottom lip. No matter how many years one had spent here, men did not forget their loyalties, their loves, their wants, and that rang true for him, as well. There was a darker edge to his love now though, if this was the painful bond the good maester had warned him about.

Hunger coiled in the pit of his stomach, worsening the more he thought of her.

Was that truly what she looked like now?

"You need not speak it aloud, dear boy," Aemon's hand drifted over Jon's, warm from the dying candle, "the love you bear her is plain enough, even without the seeing. And I hear the pain all the same."

He was grateful. He didn't want to say it in fear of being judged. Hells, he could even be wrong; dreams were but fragments of memory, often making mockery of men. If he wasn't, though...wouldn't the good maester understand, what with his Targaryen ancestry? Of course he remembered her name, though, and Jon was sure he'd never forget, no matter how much time would weather them both.

Arya Stark.

Jon stood. "Thank you for your time, Maester Aemon."

"Before you go, I suggest you take this," he rested his palm over a thick tome, the cover black and without a label. Along the spine, it said, Soulbonds and Bloodlust: On Vampyrism. "Septon Barth was a great chronicler of dragons, wyrms, wyverns...but little know how extensive his work had been on the lore of vampyres and our soulbonds. If you have the time, perhaps it can be of some use to you."

How could it be of any use when the last trueborn vampyre in Westeros was sitting before him, kept alive by the Wall's purported magic? Jon did not want to be disrespectful, though, so he took the tome from his hands. The book was massive, with a sizable weight to it. It was about vampyrism, of course, but maybe he could glean some understanding of his wolfish cravings all the same.

The old man smiled again. "And who knows, perhaps you may see your beloved far sooner than you believe."

Dare he hope? With a flex of his hand upon hearing the words, Jon thanked him, tucked the book under his left arm, and retreated back to the confines of his quarters.

[a-trick-or-two-with-lepers]

Religion in Relation to Jesus Christ Superstar

(CW: Religious trauma, slight stream-of-consciousness, imposter syndrome)

It's no secret now that I love Jesus Christ Superstar. The music, the way the story is presented, the history of the musical, and the talented actors are what drew me to it and kept me interested. Hell, it even made me download TUMBLR just so I could interact with others who enjoy the show (which is lovely, you're all lovely and I'm having such a good time).

Sometimes when I'm doing my wholely unnecessary research on JCS, I find a bad review from a devout Christian, claiming it to be blasphemy of the highest degree. This doesn't particularly bother me, as I am no longer a religious person, and I can easily brush these reviews off as extremists finding things to complain about.

I've found myself researching the book the rock opera was based on. You know the one. It's a fascinating story; I don't think many people disagree with that regardless of what religion they align themselves with. However, as with most things on the internet, it's hard to find information that is unbiased (unless I choose to read the full Bible, which I'm not interested in doing at the moment). I see how passionate these people are about their faith, and how many use that as an excuse to belittle and isolate others. This is something I've always been aware of, and it's something that's affected me personally.

When I come across these kinds of things online, I start to feel a pit of anxiety growing in my chest. I respect anyone of any religion so long as they do not use it as a means to harm others (physically, mentally, psychologically - in any way). But when I am presented with a Christian explaining why everything I believe in and stand for is inherently wrong, I begin to feel as if I'm still a young girl being berated for going against the Lord. To make matters worse, I am queer, though I am well aware that any accusations that this is a shortcoming are without truth.

Part of what drew me into JCS is what I and some others believe to be queer undertones. The intense relationship between Judas and Jesus is captivating to me, and I find it healing to examine the story of Christ this way. I had been avoidant of all Christian-related media for such a long time after I decided to detach myself from the religion. Any mention of it brought back years of shame and fear that, in my opinion, do not align with the morals the Bible depicts. If that is not what I am meant to feel when presented with the power of the Christ, then why should I subject myself to it? But when I found this musical, I was so intrigued that my inhibitions became insignificant. I only notice now how unprepared I was for the feelings that arose within me when re-introduced to my experience with religion.

I think the main issue comes with Christians believing they are entitled to the words and story of the Bible. Against my better judgment, and due to my past, I feel sometimes as if I'm intruding on an aspect of human culture that was not meant for me. In reality, I recognize that all I'm really doing is enjoying a story that I relate to and that inspires me to create and live my life as I want to live it. My learned instinct is to feel repentant when any person says I am wrong, especially when it comes to my experience as a queer woman. I read the relationship between Jesus and Judas in JCS as romantic. I have seldom seen such an intense portrayal of homosexually-charged angst, even if that is not how it was meant to be read. And I relate to it. And it heals a part of me. And I may be reading way too far into this, but I'm already devoting so much of my time to this property, so I may as well get something useful out of it.

I wonder if any other fans of JCS have felt this way. Like we are not allowed to enjoy something simply because it is not a story that is meant to be heard as we are hearing it.

My mother wonders why I haven't since converted back to Christianity after watching Jesus Christ Superstar. But this is the furthest from Christianity I have ever felt. And it the most at peace with Christianty I have ever felt.

[sabineelectricheart]

Lipstick Marks

Summary: Crius has a meeting today. An earlier encounter might lead to an embarrassingly pleasant situation.

Rating: K+ - Suitable for more mature childen, 9 years and older, with minor action violence without serious injury. May contain mild coarse language. Should not contain any adult themes.

Words: 1000

Notes: Heheheh silly little man with his silly little feelings...

While there are several things Crius loves about Anastasia, by far his favorite is how she just cannot seem to keep her hands off of him.

Where he was accustomed to being the affectionate one, the needy one, she're apparently determined to make him seem downright aloof. It is funny, yes, to see that wilful girl, self-sufficient and impetuous, mewl like a little kitten when they are alone together, yes, but it is, more than anything, it is quite pleasant for himself to be the subject of this devotion. It made him a silent sort of giddy, the greedy demands for her time and love disguised into a light and soft tease over the hands and mouth that pepper and pin him down, unrepentant, in position. Not that he resisted too valiantly, or even resisted at all.

His estate might not be particularly large, even with the trickling addition of whatever comes as inheritance from the Lynzel marquisate, but his darling wife had no interest in managing it. It is all fine and good for him, let the accountants and butlers handle the boring business that interest neither of them. Likewise, she was not one for a life of leisure, swinging between salons, gatherings and courtly life, such as her stepmother used to do long before.

Oh, no. Anastasia’s place is with the Knights of Garuda, and of that she made everyone quite clear with that same imperious temperament he loves so much. Which means, much to her husband’s satisfaction, that she would come into work with him every day, and, well, Crius found that caring for the goddess’ birds can be a part-time job if you are good at it.

Which is not to say that he is very assiduous at even that. Already late to his next appointment with the royal treasurer on the ever pressing and seemingly-always relevant subject of funding for the order, his wife has him stuck at the stables, giggling like a pubescent schoolgirl struck with her first passion. Her lips are warm and ticklish at his neck, his jaw, his cheek, and she has both her hands tangled up in his hair, holding him in place for her relentless assault.

Of course, he could get away if he wanted to. His wife is a talented hunter and bower, but is half his size. He just does not. He certainly will not.

"Lord Commander, sir!" One of the squires addresses nervously, a bag of fodder held up to his chest like a shield. The poor teen was probably taken off his task to face the commander’s wrath by his cowardly company. "Sorry, sir, it is just that the master is waiting for you at your office, and he looks impatient. You are due…"

Before Crius can threaten bodily harm on the squire, who is shivering like an anxious little dog, for the interruption, Anastasia relinquishes her hold on him, laughing a little breathlessly.

"Sorry, sorry, it is all my fault.” She apologises amiably, feeling bad for the squire, but not truly regretful about her own transgression. “Please, regard my excuses to the master, but I must get going, too. There are chores to be made.”

He does wish to say something undignified, but he settles on, “Waiting might just be an elucidating experience for a man like the master.”

The redhead suppresses a smirk. “Go, Crius. I shall see you tonight, yes? With good results, I hope. I will miss you!"

"Very well, then." The man answers with a dazed, lovesick smile, that seems to both spook and charm the poor squire standing awkward to the corner, still unaccustomed to how things functioned up there. "I miss you already."

Anastasia kisses her husband once more on the lips, and Crius cannot help but watch as she goes off. The squire seemed to have something else to say, but a harsh look communicating his perilous position shot by the commander and the teen boy suddenly seemed awfully interested in his bag of fodder and how the garudas must be very hungry indeed.

On the way to his office, knights, squires and servants kept doing double-takes as he passes. Some, the older ones in their employ, snicker to themselves and gossip like wives as he passes. Others, gawk with their mouths open, too scandalised to avert their prying eyes. The envoy from the royal treasury, on his part, has his cheeks coloured and an expression of deep displeasure when he reaches the office.

He is used to attention, after so many years there would be no way not to be, and he even welcomes it at the measure it can help in his aims. It is easy for him to disregard the look of others, but he does not fully realize why they were looking at him like that until, some fifteen minutes into a discussion about budgetary limitations of the Crown, he happens to run his eyes through the mirror he keeps off to a wall.

Just about every inch of his face is stained with distinctively lip-shaped red marks. His once neatly combed hair is mussed into a wild curve that makes him laugh as soon as he sees it. Even his clothes, if he bothered to look down, he would see that he is missing his holster and his tie is undone.

The conversation immediately falls into a lull. Crius just leans back in his chair, admiring the undeniable proof that he belongs to someone. He huffs a little chuckle, lifting a gloved hand to almost reverently touch one of the kisses painted on his cheek. Anastasia certainly knew what she was doing.

Looking at the master, he just offers a giddy little shrug. "Life of a man in love, am I right?"

Crius grins through his entire appointment. Even after the lipstick is wiped away, he can still feel the lingering warmth of her love on his skin, in the beat of his heart, and in the butterflies fluttering about his stomach.

*_*_*_*_*

Even If Tempest Masterlist

[the-pen-pot]

Fangirling for chapter 39

However, before any of them could utter a word, Lady Mellifor stepped forward, her gaze shrewd. 'I witnessed no sorcery,' she declared. 'I saw nothing more than a desperate man attempt to assassinate Camelot's Prince Regent. You do not deserve the mercy that you have been shown. The gallows are too good for you!'

'Your lies are the pathetic excuses of someone seeking to escape the consequences of their actions,' Sir Geoffrey added, his old voice resonant in the echoing dungeon. 'Consequences that are well-deserved.'

So, they know Merlin did indeed use magic there or Merlin somehow 'blinded' them to it? Oh, but I guess with the conversation between Arthur and Sir Geoffrey later they DO know about magic but don't mind it! (My reading comprehension is still there but slower.) Good that he has other supporters!

'I've made him forget. I didn't want him lurking in the shadows, waiting for the chance to stab us in the back. He will carry his guilt and his punishment, but he won't recall the details. He will go in peace, and he won't bother Camelot again.' He hitched his shoulders in a shrug, an almost-apology. 'Mordred's not the only one who can meddle with people's minds. I don't like doing it, but if it keeps Arthur safe…'

Well yes, it is creepy to know he can mess with people's mind. But it's for Arthur and if it's for him then I don't think there is nothing Merlin would do for him. Total devotion. It's a good thing Merlin is on their side because OMG he would be a terrifying villain with all those powers. 😲

'No. Not yet. I'll tell him once Vernell has gone. How he handles this is important to the court. People will remember it for years to come. It's essential that Arthur appears completely genuine. This way, he doesn't have to hide anything from the council.'

'Instead, you take on the burden.'

Merlin huffed a mirthless laugh. 'I'm used to it,' he promised.

See, evidence of his total devotion. But we've seen that clearly in previous chapers. I mean, he literarly would take on Arthur's pain (and his friends's pain).

(And I think if Arthur was able to, he would also take on Merlin's pain. Maybe Merlin doesn't fully believe that yet. )

There was a moment of hesitation, and Merlin felt the memory of the previous night at the inn paint the air with its veils. Perhaps it was unwise to offer to touch Arthur, even in his capacity as servant and healer, but there were some things Merlin could not sacrifice. He could reluctantly bow to the common sense of setting aside the desire Arthur stirred in him, but he refused to keep his distance. It might be better for his sanity, but it would be catastrophic for the friendship that flourished between them.

😍😍😍😍 I was glad when Arthur said yes. He can't stop being close to Merlin either. 😍😍😍😍

When he turned around, it was to find Arthur standing behind him, close enough to touch. His chest was still bare, bronzed by the firelight, and Arthur's gaze carried an intensity that made Merlin's heart race.

'What?'

Arthur reached out, his fingers hesitating a scant half-inch away before he traced a line along Merlin's collarbone. 'There was one here, from that same tavern brawl.' His right hand dropped, bolder now, to curve around the dip of Merlin's waist. 'Three deep slices here, from when you saved Lancelot from being gutted by a manticore by putting yourself in harm's way.'

I can see this in my mind like a movie (and in that movie they kiss,🤣🤣🤣🤣 )

This story is making my vacation week extra fun.

I am so glad it's making your vacation week extra fun, lovely, and that it's movie-evocative in your head! I'm so close to finishing off posting Hiraeth on AO3 at last. It's kinda epic!

[kamreadsandrecs]

Title: Rouge

Author: Mona Awad

Genre/s: horror, mystery, thriller, literary fiction

Content/Trigger Warning/s: suicide (off-page), emotional abuse, murder, death of a parent, mental illness

Summary (from the author's page): For as long as she can remember, Belle has been insidiously obsessed with her skin and skincare videos. When her estranged mother Noelle mysteriously dies, Belle finds herself back in Southern California, dealing with her mother’s considerable debts and grappling with lingering questions about her death. The stakes escalate when a strange woman in red appears at the funeral, offering a tantalizing clue about her mother’s demise, followed by a cryptic video about a transformative spa experience. With the help of a pair of red shoes, Belle is lured into the barbed embrace of La Maison de Méduse, the same lavish, culty spa her mother to which her mother was devoted. There, Belle discovers the frightening secret behind her (and her mother’s) obsession with the mirror—and the great shimmering depths (and demons) that lurk on the other side of the glass.

Snow White meets Eyes Wide Shut in this surreal descent into the dark side of beauty, envy, grief, and the complicated love between mothers and daughters. With black humor and seductive horror, ROUGE explores the cult-like nature of the beauty industry—as well as the danger of internalizing its pitiless gaze. Brimming with California sunshine and blood-red rose petals, ROUGE holds up a warped mirror to our relationship with mortality, our collective fixation with the surface, and the wondrous, deep longing that might lie beneath.

Buy Here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/rouge-mona-awad/19834841

Spoiler-Free Review: This book pulled out an unexpected gut punch and got me REALLY teary-eyed at the end but that’s what makes it GOOD.

So there’s layers to this. The first, obvious one is that a huge portion of this book is an enormous send-up of the beauty industry and beauty influencers. There’s already plenty of commentary out there, both in fiction and nonfiction, about the ways the beauty industry harms people, but the way Awad uses Snow White and Beauty and the Beast is what adds a little extra punch. So many people, especially women, grow up believing that physical beauty is vitally important, that it makes one a “good” and/or “worthwhile” person, because from childhood we are fed this belief via fairytales and - mostly notably here - Disney movies. Awad takes this belief and turns it into a chilling nightmare as the protagonist (who is named Belle, incidentally - another nod to Disney’s take on Beauty and the Beast) attempts to become “beautiful” by following the advice of an online beauty influencer whom she follows with almost cult-like (another reference to the way the term “cult” has been adopted by both influencers and the beauty industry) devotion. Later on this obsession with becoming “beautiful” leads Belle down a very dark road that forms the novel’s main plot.

Awad also absolutely does not shy away from portraying the terrible effect all of this has on the protagonist’s mental health, most clearly shown in how the plot plays out. Nor does she shy away from showing how racist the beauty industry is, with its emphasis on how beauty products whiten skin - excuse me, call it “brightening”, because that’s how it’s marketed nowadays to avoid racist implications, and which is ANOTHER thing Awad points out in the novel. This racism is also shown in how the protagonist (who is mixed race, half-French Canadian and half-Egyptian) compares herself constantly to her white French mother and finds herself ugly in comparison. But at the same time, Awad points out the mother’s fear of growing old: another fear the beauty industry preys upon by offering products and procedures that offer to maintain, or even restore, youth.

But while all of that is interesting and pretty damn creepy in the way Awad’s incorporated all of it in the plot, the emotional core of this novel lies in the way it looks at grief, and the complex relationship between Belle and her mother. Once again Awad nods to fairytales in portraying their relationship: specifically Snow White, with Belle meant to stand in for Snow White and her mother standing in for the Queen - there’s even a mirror in this story that plays a rather significant role, and a prince too. But Awad laser-focuses on the connection between Belle and her mother, on the complexities and nuances of their relationship, wrapping it all up in a climactic scene that basically had me crying when I got to it. My relationship with my mother might not have been exactly like Belle’s, but in the general shape of it - especially the inability to be honest about my thoughts and feelings - well… It didn’t hit me right away, as the story was progressing, but when the climax of the novel happened it hit me all at once and had me crying, which is something I haven’t done since my mom passed.

Overall, this was a creepy, and towards the end, heart-wrenching read. Awad’s prose evokes obsession in a way that feels very visceral, while also evoking the sharp, tender emotions of a complicated mother-daughter relationship. Might not be the fastest, easiest read, but it’s certainly very rewarding.

Rating: five roses

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

The Dependence of the Words

by Obadiah Sedgwick

Paul and Silas (on their journey) make a stop in Philippi, a chief city in Macedonia, ver. 12. They had a special calling for it, ver. 9. Being there, the next Sabbath, they devoted themselves to praying and preaching, ver. 13. And each of these activities was crowned with a blessed outcome.

By the former, Lydia was converted, ver. 14, 15. By the latter, the devil was exorcised from a damsel, ver. 16, 18. The word of God and prayer are the great power of God to change the heart and conquer Satan.

But if we trouble the devil, the devil will not cease to trouble us. It has been the fate of the best ministers to do the most good and find the most affliction. Look at ver. 19 and you will see that Paul and Silas were arrested and brought before the rulers.

Good God! That Paul should be questioned because he cast out a devil! But this is not the matter of objection, nor the immediate cause of trouble (her master saw that the hope of their profits was gone). How far will love of the world drive a man against God's servants? Even Paul himself was brought to trial when he cut off the profits that the devil brought. Covetous hearts and good ministers can never agree; they would rather sell the truth than lose their profit.

But now before the magistrate, what is their accusation? What! That Paul and Silas cast out the devil? No; that the masters of the damsel were hurt and disadvantaged by their preaching? No, though this was the reason, yet something else was the excuse. This would seem too base, and therefore they brought another charge against them that they knew would easily stick, ver. 20. These being Jews, greatly trouble our city, and ver. 21. Teach customs, which are not lawful for us to accept or observe, being Romans.

As if they said, they are a couple of divisive and schismatic fellows, men of a peculiar spirit, given to innovation, who speak strange things about one Christ, about belief, and about repentance, and we don't know what.

They needed to say no more, immediately there was an uproar, and without any more ado, right or wrong, they received justice. The magistrates tore their clothes and ordered them to be beaten, ver. 22.

And this was not enough, besides the whip, they had to go to prison and be kept safe and secure, ver. 23. Hatred of goodness often leads evil men to acts of injustice; and he who hates a good man will often become a bad judge.

But they are in prison and in stocks, and the jailer is as diligent to carry out the command as the rulers were unjust in giving it, ver. 24. He threw them into the inner prison and made them fast in the stocks.

The providence of God is strange; Paul and Silas were sent to prison to convert a jailer, to free him who had bound them, to heal him who had whipped them; God has some special plans for the times and places of his servants' suffering. Well, at midnight Paul and Silas prayed and sang praises to God, ver. 25. No prison can prevent our communion with God. Prayer will reach heaven in spite of all opposition, and even a suffering Christian can be very cheerful.

But now see the consequences of this, their prayers shook heaven and heaven shook the earth, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken, and immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone's bonds were loosened, ver. 26.

I do not marvel that prayer can break the bonds of iron, when I know it is able to break asunder the bonds of death itself.

The jailer awakes, sees the prison doors open, and for all he knew, an escape of all his prisoners, for whose lives, probably it is, that he must pay his own; and therefore in a passionate desperation, draws out his sword to kill himself.

Paul espies him, and cries out with a loud voice (hold, hold) Do yourself no harm, for we are all here, not a man of us that has stirred.

Which when he had searched and found, Oh! what a strange alteration is in this jailer? Vers. 29. He came in trembling. What! He who before made them to bleed, does he now tremble? He that before cast them into the stocks, does he come trembling to them? What were they? Or what could they do? Shackled and scourged, and imprisoned persons, that he trembled before them? But so he did. Scorners will become tremblers, when God has once touched their hearts. Yet this is not all; He also falls down before them. He is upon his knees to ask them forgiveness, for his cruel usage. And then he brings them forth.

Object. But what of all this? All this may arise from sparks of pity and humanity.

Sol. Nay, but there is a greater matter than all this: Sirs, said he, What shall I do to be saved? (As if he had said) I am in a miserable condition, I have lived wickedly, and done wrong to many of the people of God, and in particular to you; Good Lord! what shall become of me? You are the ministers of Christ, I beseech you have pity on me, and show unto me what I may do to save this poor soul of mine.

What does Paul and Silas answer him? They said, Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved. And I beseech you mark it, how immediate their answer is to his question; they do not say, as the High Priests to afflicted Judas, Look thou to that; they do not upbraid him with his hard and cruel usage; They take not that advantage, and say, Nay, now does your conscience trouble you for being so wicked, and scourging us so sharply? Yea, and so let it; do you come for direction and comfort to us, whom you have so shamefully abused?

No, they forget the injuries, and presently pour in the oil. They instantly direct him into the true way of life, Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.

[therealv1ultrakill]

Honestly I will not make this a habit, but this place is in some sense my personal diary now so !

I am a bit upset? I do not shame or gatekeep others for having similar interests or being insanely passionate (i.e "number one fan of xyz"), but seeing someone in a server I am in was a bit of a jumpscare! But also in some sense good, I think. Wake-up call of sorts, and I don't say that just to cope or remove the feelings from it.

I really like this myth/lore/horror (whatever you'd like to call it, haha) game. And it wasn't unpopular before per se, but especially over the past month/since its full release, it has been EXTREMELY popular. We're talking double-digit thousands (10k, 20k, you get the point). And I saw someone who.. I don't really find myself using the word "lore" for people anymore, it feels kind of icky. At least, for more mundane or truly not like. TRAUMATIC traumatic situations. Do some of these things scar my mind? Yes. Most things in life do, in technicality, butterfly effect, unpredictable outcomes, whatever. I had to let this callus my mind. I still feel weak, worthless, pathetic, cruel, etc. But I know I am not those things, and again, in some very weird way the initial thing before the server-seeing event really helped me begin my progress on my backbone, and actually feel like I can truly believe in myself.

Anywho, I struggle to stay on track, it's a very apparent thing with me that my mind has multiple railroad systems (hah! no pun intended though) going on at the same time. It scared me! I got a little nervous. I got anxious. And all the built-up positive energy (which was already a bit of an iffy thing) came down. Even now, I woke up feeling a bit of sorrow. But I do not hate myself, still. It does hurt, but I am finally at a point where I am doing my best to allow myself to feel these things and process this hurt while also not using my wishes (be it well or not), energy, mental rooming, etc. on these people involved, or anyone as a whole in my past who likely does not enjoy my continuing existence. I felt jealous, almost, for a second. But I do not think it was because of any posted art, but I think just as a whole. The concept of sharing something I love so deeply and devote a lot of time to. The thing that I want to be one of the number one fans of. I am still trying to accept though that there will always be a person better, more devoted, more obsessive, etc. at something than I likely will. Sure, I can become one of those. But I do not think it ought to be for this, especially since it has negatively impacted me a bit at times / controlled my emotions some (prior to this incident. They do not control me that much, my friends!).

Also, tbf… the creator + the currently morphing fandom are like. Really fucking foul at times. Like yeah dude can ban whoever he/they/? want but it's pretty damn wild that if you post chit-chat in the channel (granted they said not to) you get immediately banned. And see, that alone I wouldn't give really a rats backend about - it's the fact that the fandom and creator revel in it and so many people continued dog-piling and mocking people, I swear I've never seen the words "lacking media literacy/lack reading comprehension" be run into the ground so fast it looked like 65% of the channel was pure spam. Like… damn? I know the internet sucks (and someday I ought to go on a tangent about why the phrase/saying "it's just the internet, get used to it/get over it/why don't you expect it?" is stupid, harmful, and excusing bad behavior and denouncing any form of accountable and perpetuating people to get away, but I digress..)

[attorneys-against-court-violence]

Pardon me while I expell some Dual Destinies thoughts. Not kind ones this time but that's okay. Gotta fill the old complaint box every once in a while! If I wanted to insult something I'd make that crystal-clear, but that's not the intention. Hope that comes across here.

So... Bobby Fulbright. Fool Bright. Robert Maximum Luminosity. Booby Fulltits, if you will.

Here you have the potential development of a detective devoted to justice but learning that his methods could stand to be more humane. His actions are reasonable but have lead to more harm than good to his prosecutor. Justice isn't just about making people fall in-line or mindlessly following what is seen as right and failing to realise that has lead to the potential doom of his newfound friends. We would realise that - under trying times and having the right buttons pushed - a paragon of good can be truly monstrous. The paragon himself will be forced to either change their ways for the better, or go down as the villain he has become. Because he's not a super-hero. He's as human as the rest of us...

...or that goodness could be a facade. A front to hide the fact that the detective never cared if he was "good", traditionally speaking - only that he could justify his actions under hollow rhetorics and super-hero theatrics. That he feels completely in the right because his position allows him to enforce what is right and wrong unto others. He has no emotional attachment to doing "good" by others, so why should he care? Maybe it's not even a facade. Maybe he genuinely believes he's good by his own standards. A living lesson that you shouldn't trust someone purely off the image they wish to project of themselves, and rather by their verifiable action. Faith without doubt is blind, and can lead you to trust those without your best interests in mind...

...or we can have ghosts. You guys like ghosts right? Yeah, everyone loves things that can't be proven! Especially me. Love it!

If you hadn't guessed I've had Phanty on the brain for a while now. And I think the ideas that he presents regarding Bobby Fulbright - who he could have been as a person and how he could change or change the people around him, the false persona of a righteous champion of justice - hit me a lot harder than the spectre himself ever did. Why was I so invested in Bobby being a bastard, but completely deflated when the phantom revealed he was nothing at all? This why. Actively telling the audience that the main villain of your story is as deep as a dry puddle after getting me invested in all those ideas took me all the way out.

I'll concede those ideas are still present. Bobby could have been as good or terrible as the phantom portrayed. But that's besides the point for me. For me, it came off as an excuse for a villain to be and do anything. He's the phantom! He can be whatever the writers want him to be because he literally has no personality! We even actively detached him from the last personality we gave him by saying he isn't even that person! In fact, that person was dead the whole time! They can both be whatever you want! The things Phanty brings to the table - the false persona giving way to a man with no emotional attachments, running away from himself because confronting his true self would mean death from within and without - are interesting ideas, but by then it's too late for me to really sink my teeth into them before he's gone.

The phantom COULD have been a bastard who genuinely thought he was doing the right thing. He COULD have been using a cheesey comic book-level persona as a projection of his thoroughly twisted ideas of what's right. It COULD have been that he slipped into the role so easily because it's not too far from where he started; someone who wanted to do the right thing by his home country, but made to repress who he really is in order to do terrible things, eventually internalising that has the righteous path. "Whatever I say is just, is just!" But I don't get the impression that that's what Dual Destinies - as written - was going for. They wanted a twist villain and did so by any means necessary without considering the implications or potential such a twist could have. Bobby exists because we need a dopey, likeable character to backstab us at the end. The phantom is a non-entity because it gives the writers a blank cheque to do anything and have it make sense without needing to give it any more thought.

There's a bit of advice in theatre that you shouldn't play a character as bored because you'd just be boring to watch. Similarly, I don't think you should write a character to be a hollow husk from the outset. People are just going to see it for what it is; a husk. The phantom's actions can contradict that all they want, the audience has already decided you want him to be seen like that. No take-backs on that decision. This one's on you, chief.

...or maybe I'm too invested in a villain from a series that, with occassional exception, does not have the most deep and fascinating final bosses in terms of writing. The person matters a lot less than the impact they leave, the concepts that they embody. It's just particularly insulting that a potentially interesting character is thrown to the wayside in favour of an easy out.

I can rattle off the first few paragraphs and even the a couple paragraphs earlier all I want but damn if Dual Destinies actually goes anywhere with it. Ya know?

[wingedscribe]

1, 6, 15 for Tav backstory asks! Your choice or do one for each of them, whatever you prefer!

I'll do each for all of them because I love any excuse to talk about my OCs! For a brief overview of the three, Akakios is my Dark Urge playthrough and is a half-drow Paladin of Devotion; Hithala is. well. Hithala uses the wood elf body but is a hexblood druid of the circle of spores; finally, Tanith is a half-elven Cleric of Selune.

Is your Tav Baldurian? If yes, did they grow up in Baldur’s Gate? If no, where are they from?

Akakios is Balduran, growing up in Baldur's Gate -- although they can't remember it, given the uhhh. [Gestures toward the cranial trauma in the Dark Urge's past.] Hithala is not Balduran and grew up in the middle of a forest (I haven't decided which Faerun forest it is, it doesn't particularly matter) and spent most of his time pre-game wandering in less civilized areas. Finally, Tanith is from the area around Baldur's Gate, but didn't grow up in the city itself, although she has visited it multiple times.

6. When did your Tav learn their abilities/skills?

With Akakios they can't actively remember it, but they learned their abilities -- if that's the right word for them -- as the Dark Urge when they were around fourteen years old, proceeded to swear off using them forever (this did not work) and joined an order of Paladins, learning how to channel divine power to aid others through their adolescence there. It wasn't enough to stop their blood from taking its due, but when they woke up with no memory it was their Paladin's oaths that they clung to.

Hithala learned some basics of nature magic from the hag that raised him, although it was largely through observation -- the hag wasn't really interested in teaching what she saw as an unfortunate step on the path to making another hag. However, once he left her house, he took refuge in a local druidic circle, and that was where he learned most of his skills as a druid.

Tanith's entire family are Selunites, so once it was clear that she had both a lot of faith and a deep connection to the goddess she became an acolyte of the local temple, and from there her cleric powers came into focus as she devoted her time and energy to serving Selune. Her specific focus as a Tempest Cleric came from her conviction that someone had to strike at Selune's enemies before they could do harm to the innocent.

15. Do they have any sentimental items?

Akakios has a battered old book on the oaths of Paladin orders that they woke up with; the more they learn about themself pre-amnesia, the more confusing the fact that they held onto this was, but as the player I can say it's because there was always a part of Akakios who still very much wanted to be the strong, noble paladin who protected people and wanted to be the hero, and even though pregame Akakios had been convinced that they could never be anything but the villain, they kept that book of oaths anyway.

Hithala has a few things that he is emotionally attached to, but the main one would be a necklace with an amber pendant, holding a leaf from the forest he grew up in. It was a gift from his first love, a fellow druid named Rowan Tavverin -- Rowan was human, so Hith has long outlived him at this point, but in lieu of a wedding ring keeps the necklace with him at all times.

Tanith doesn't have a strong attachment to many things -- a lot of her belongings she sees as stuff she's been given by her goddess/the temple she typically works out of, and so she's happy to give them to someone who would need them more than she does and just make her way to wherever she can find the next thing she needs -- but her holy symbol, a Selunite pendant she's kept since childhood, is extremely precious to her. She had one of a matched pair with a childhood friend of hers, to the point that they swapped them before that friend went out into the woods for her coming-of-age ceremony -- where she was, Tanith assumes, killed by Sharran hunters, along with the rest of her family (if this sounds similar to a companion's backstory, there's a reason for that! Neither Tanith nor Shadowheart know it, though), so Tanith holds onto the pendant as the last part of her best friend she has with her.

Thank you so much for the questions -- if anyone else wants to ask about these three gay adventurers feel free to send me questions from this list: https://wingedscribe.tumblr.com/post/736382006258253824 or, you know, whatever questions you have.