#michael for some parts of this for some reason

[lemotmo]

Sorry if this is controversial but I was wondering if you also thought Josh's speech was kind of messed up? I don't remember the world Pre-Glee but I thought Buck was right using someone and then throwing them away is cruel and horrible. People are saying it was about comphet but Buck's words implied he knew he was gay and did it anyways. I don't think a lesbian woman would be "applauded" for doing that to a man?

Well, I think it's a very complex issue Nonny.

A lot of gay men and lesbian women have settled down and married someone of the opposite sex because that was what was expected of them.

Take Michael and Athena. Michael always knew he was gay, but still chose to marry Athena. He tried to make it work and convince himself that Athena and the kids was enough for him to be happy. But he was only lying to himself. He would never be fully happy with a woman.

Of course there are a lot of factors that weigh in here: time period, upbringing, religious indoctrination...

I never made it a secret that I don't like Tommy, but I certainly don't blame him for 'trying' to be with a woman to 'fit' in in society. We know that the place he worked at at the time was not very welcoming towards anyone that didn't fit the 'norm'.

And yes, he was part of that problem himself with the continuing racist and sexist remarks and actions. I'm aware. There is absolutely no excuse for his behaviour.

But that doesn't take away that he was a gay man trapped in a life he didn't really want. So I find it very difficult to 'judge' anyone for trying to 'fit in', because it's such an essential part of being human. We all want to fit in.

Next to that there were and still are (to this day) real life repurcussions if people found out your sexuality. Your family could disown you, your friends could stop talking to you, your job could become more difficult, you would have to be more alert of hate crimes...

So yes, I agree he was wrong for stringing Abby along in a two-year relationship, but he wasn't only unfair towards her. He was also unfair towards himself.

Buck saying it was cruel comes from a place of 'innocence' and 'naivety'. He means well, but he didn't think it through. Which is a very Buck thing to do.

So in comes Josh. He is older than Buck and has more experience in life and relationships. As a gay man he has probably seen it all in his personal life. He knows how some gay man try to 'make it work' with a woman.

It was a good idea to have Josh talk to Buck, but the speech he gave was just NOT IT AT ALL! The whole pre-Glee and post-Glee is just a dumb analogy.

Josh should have talked about his real life experience and how some people try to cope for different many reasons. He should have told him that these people often have a lot of inner hate because they know that they are lying to their partners and feel awful about it, but they are stuck and can't get out.

And that doesn't make it right and these women definitely have a right to be very angry and upset for being lied to, or in Abby's case she had a right to be angry to be dumped, because he didn't even tell her he was gay.

But we need to remember that this isn't just a black and white issue. There are a lot of grey areas here.

[usercelestial]

i would like to hear your thoughts ❤️

gahhhh okay no one throw rocks at me, this is buck x oc

adam has been a nurse for a long time. he's dealt with trauma after trauma, met so many firefighters and paramedics but none with a bigger heart than evan buckley. he's seen him around a few times, the station 118 is pretty well known in their hospital for being a bit a problem station. people are constantly getting stabbed and struck by lightning, evan buckley in particular seems like maybe he pissed off god personally. they exchanged a few words here and there, laughed at a few of the others jokes, but every time they lock eyes, buck makes quick work to look away and bite the inside of his cheek. adam specializes in hurt and believe him, buck seems... hurt.

it isn't until they bring in a young kid, probably 16 or 17, with bruises and cuts all over his body. he was beaten until- well, until it was pretty touch and go for a minute there. two of them hang back in particular, hen and buck. he's talked to hen before, back when she was going through med school, she told him about her wife and kids, how hard she was fighting for them, how draining it was. adam joked about that sounding familiar, he remembers med school well enough when he was single, he couldn't imagine it with a partner and a kid.

the two of them were standing together, watching the kid be carted away, both biting their cheeks and clenching their fists. hen whispered something to buck and patted his back.

"i know, it's just- god, that was brutal." buck wipes his face.

"that's why we look out for each other." hen squeezes his arm and walks away.

"does he have anyone to look out for him?" buck says to himself

interesting, he doesn't know the full story- just that that kid looked like he was in a hell of a lot of pain. and judging by the rainbow bracelet around his wrist, he's guessing he knows why.

he's about to work himself up to go talk to him. there's something about his eyes, wide and sad and so deep in thought he wonders how he pulls himself out.

they lock eyes again. adam gives him a tiny wave and an awkward smile. buck looks like he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and returns the nicety before bolting out the door. hen notices and looks back, processing something in her head. she smiles but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

then buck shows up at the hospital later in his civvies, rubbing his hands together.

"hey!" adam says just a little too loudly, cringing.

buck jumps a little, like a scared deer, adam absolutely does not think it's the cutest thing in the world.

"uh, h-hi." buck is still whining his hands together.

"adam! sorry, i don't know if i ever gave you my name or if you remember-"

"i do." buck smiles, "yeah, i remember."

"good." and then he just stands like an idiot for reasons he cannot grasp before remembering he should probably speak now, "are you visiting someone?"

"do you remember that kid from earlier? the one had the um-"

"the kid that got hate-crimed? yeah i remember. he's stable now. he had a rough night, but he'll pull through."

buck visibly releases a weight off himself, "oh, good. i just wanted to check in on him. i don't know, it was a rough call, it was driving me crazy not knowing."

adam put down his clipboard, nodding, "yeah, i mean, that stuff definitely hits home for me, for sure."

"it doesn't for me," buck says and oh, shit, i guess he's not queer, fuck did i read this wrong, "i mean! like- when i came out, i had so many people that cared about me. my sister, my-well- my dad, my best friend, my boyf-" buck cuts himself off and deflates again, "sorry. i just hated the idea that he didn't have that, you know?"

"no, i get it, don't apologize. that's-thats really sweet. visiting hours are almost over but i can see if he's up for it, okay?"

bucks nods, and maybe adam is a fool with a dumb little crush but he swears he blushes a little. he feels his heart bursting a little about it. he came back to this kid, felt the need to check in and ask about him, because he didn't have something that he did.

"pull it together," he whispers to himself as he walks away.

buck keeps coming back, too. visiting the kid as often as possible, playing cards, and giving him fun facts from some documentaries he's watched. adam perks up whenever he hears one that he's watched. he lets it slip that he watched the same one, went on the same wikipedia binge. buck does that smile softly and look away like you're about to throw thing he does. adam occasionally joins in on the conversation whenever he gets a free moment. and then eventually, the kid gets discharged and buck is there to see him off. it turns out he has an aunt out in texas that's far more accepting than his folks here. he swears he sees buck tear up a little as he walks out the door, waving back at both of them.

and adam fully expects buck to go back to being a first responder he sees a few times a week and exchanging awkward, stolen glances.

but he doesn't stop coming. buck shows up the next day with two coffees in his hand. adam waves at him and buck breathes like he's psyching himself up and walks over.

"you said you liked chai lattes, so, um, i figured-i figured you would-"

"thanks!" adam decides to put him out of his misery, "are you visiting someone?"

buck ducks his head and scratches his neck, his smile looking less tortured, "hopefully, if you were free, you."

"i was about to go on my first break, if you wanted to go for a bit of a walk." adam suggests.

"that sounds great." buck clears his throat.

"great, gimme just a second, alright?" he walks away and hears buck mutter what he thinks, "i used to be better at this."

a few weeks pass by like that. buck hovering just on the outskirts of his life, very careful not to step too far in, but still present in a way that drives him crazy. he can't stop thinking about him but he only gets him for fifteen minutes now.

"do you wanna go out for dinner sometime?" adam asks, trying to sound as casual as possible.

buck gasps, like audibly, like a woman fainting after meeting the beatles, "i-uh, i should probably get back, sorry."

oh, he watches him go. and then stop in his tracks. and then turn back around, "can i get your number actually? or instagram or something?"

trying to contain his excitement, he nods, because of course he nods. when a hot, sweet as fuck, puppy dog eyed firefighter offers you their phone number, it's a crime to say no.

eventually, they do end up on a date- or at least he thinks it's a date. he can't be sure. the wine certainly feels date-eske but he really can't be sure because buck is barely looking at him in the eyes. he picked his very best "possibly a date" outfit and went in with low expectations for anything other than a really pleasant, really awkward evening. he decides though that if he gets to spend it with buck, it feels worth the awkward tension. especially because sometimes, he can coax him out of it and he looks so- vulnerable, an open wound. he's like a starry sky that hides behind a cloudy night.

adam doesn't remember what he says but eventually they start talking about things that should probably be save for the 40th date, not the maybe, jury's still out first.

but adam definitely knows he says, "you seem like you've been hurt." because the moment he does, he wants to punch himself in the face after buck gets this horrified expression like adam just said he likes kicking dogs in his spare time.

then, the moment passes, and he clicks his tongue, "i used to be better at hiding it."

"it seems like maybe it's a good thing you don't."

buck shakes his head, "i also used to be better at this," he gestures between them, "dating, flirting, having a crush," which does get buck to smile and adam gets to see that twinkle in his eyes again.

"oh okay, so this is a date, noted. and- you're not terrible at it, it's pretty adorable, actually. and i'm hardly one to judge. i'm very familiar with hurt."

buck keeps smiling, "well, my hurt is a 40 year old firefighter-pilot who broke up with me a year ago, so- i don't know how familiar you are with that kind of hurt."

"oh, i am all too familiar with that kind of hurt. does this hurt have a name?"

buck sucks in a breath, adam gets the sense that he hasn't said it in a while, "tommy. tommy kinard."

adam feels like buck is cracked open right now, "are you not ready to move on yet? cause, i'm okay with just being friends!"

"i really don't want to."

"be friends? damn, okay-"

buck puts on a hand on his for a second and adam's heart flutters, "no, i don't want to be just friends. tommy was- well, i loved him. i mean, i-"

"still do?"

"god, i'm really cursed to fuck up first dates, aren't i?"

"it's okay. i mean, i like you. i've liked you for a while, you know? and i've had my own tommy, the one that got away, one i'll never stop loving. i think-" it hurts to think about but he knows it would hurt more to forget about it, "i think what our tommys have in common is that we never let them go, or stop loving them, but we-" he sighs, thinking about his own heartbreak, his own first love, his own missed connection, "we take the love we have for them and we can let it grow into love for others too."

bucks bites his cheek. adam briefly wonders if the inside of his mouth is scarred of all the biting, "i guess i'm scared of giving him up. like if i stop thinking about it or if i like someone else, he'll disappear and everything we had will just- vanish," he chokes out.

adam hums, "it won't. that's the great thing about tommys, right? they stay with you, you never stop feeling that love. you just- build on it and give it to the next person."

buck has tears in his eyes now, adam thinks he might too, but god he's looking at such a beautiful man, with such a big heart and he can't help but thank whoever tommy is for giving him so much love that he's overflowing with it.

"sorry-"

"don't apologize, this got heavy really quick and we're only half way through the bottle of wine," they both laugh into their glasses.

"i guess i'm a little- hurt, like you said."

"i'm a nurse, buck, i kind of specialize in hurt. and if you're willing to try, i'd like another date, one that i actually know is a date beforehand."

buck really does blush this time, "i can do that."

buck leans in and kisses him on the cheek on the way out, oh god, he's a gentleman too, i'm so screwed.

down the line, when they're celebrating their engagement in the same park they used to walk through on adam's breaks, he thinks to himself, not for the first time, oh, tommy kinard, wherever you are, whoever you're with, thank you for loving our man, and thank you for letting me love him just as much.

[localsamalicer]

My bestie made a DoorKeay kid and one time when talking about them having a baby it was brought up that if Gerry were to be pregnant distortion Michael would still somehow feel the majority of the pregnancy pains.

[tunacasserolequeen]

Some nights they just wanna sit close together

[creaturefeaster]

ive been thinking about this for a while, i sent an ask about it a while ago but i was in a spot with bad service so im not sure if it sent or not, so sorry if something like this already went through to your ask box. But, how does vilmer and maja speak and know swedish if cq doesnt take place on earth? is there a different place that’s native language is swedish, and also is it called something different? or is sweden just laying around somewhere on theia

It's a mix of a few things, and it applies to all real languages used in the CQ universe:

1) There are no Earth-aligned countries on Theia, but there are definitely parts & communities of the world that have different languages, accents, and dialects. This is also why there are other languages spoken such as Spanish or French, why Bonnie knows languages such as Hungarian, and so on.

2) Even though I chose to express the world's writing primarily in English, it's still a language just like any other and should not be assumed the default for the entire world of Theia. Many places they travel to, were there to be any survivors, do not speak English at all.

3) My ass is not about to conjure 100 different fake languages for the world when there are plenty of interesting and very real languages to explore & implement into the world. The swedes spawned in this world and they are here to stay, and no they won't elaborate how or why.

Also yes it is still called swedish, same for any other real language used in my writing ^_^!

[edge-oftheworld]

quarterly reminder that lighter is a BOP

[ennard-is-near]

“I know it was an accident” (from the SL secret night) get slept on so hard. I think about that line every day and I’ve never seen anyone else talk about it.

[broken-clover]

Holiday retail shifts this year are turning me into an unironic hallmark villain. Something uniquely wrath inducing about getting snapped at over 30 cent discounts while the radio blares songs about it being the most wonderful and peaceful time of year. If anyone comes within my vicinity with any song that has the words merry jolly christmas reindeer snow or bright in them or has that obnoxiously twee sounding singing that's like 50 years old or sounds like frank sinatra or has nasally small child singing I'm going to beat them with a lamppost. If they play any iteration of 'my favorite things' again I'm committing arson. I'm reaching the end of my rope. I look at the calendar and there's still two more weeks to go

[8cfc00]

i love relistening to podcasts to the point where relistening to any episode becomes incredibly boring because i already know what happens

[tothechaos]

just played bg3 for the last five hours and with my door closed, the heat generated from my pc was enough to raise the temperature of my room by several degrees compared to the rest of my apartment

[pomegranarchy]

Wordsmith haircut reveal!!!! Jsjsjjs

Who doesn't love a cringefail woman?

Wordsmith suffering while being pokes by hornet? Perfect

Wordsmith holding the hand of Hollow and wanting to go home? 👌

she's so lame and trying her best. and yeah! short hair lady :] probably will have grown out to her shoulders by time she actually shows anyone her face pff

she's going to be adopted by this family one day mark my words. in the far future past tumultuous waters and hours of me scrolling through a thesaurus for chapter titles. and taking a jackhammer to a wall of writer's block more than once

i want to draw her face so bad you have no idea. ive entertained the idea of her being a relative to another oc of mine simply bc of their similar appearances and general cringefail miserable living

both of them get taken in and pitied by rich immortals who sponsor their wellbeing. normal ass humans thrust into unfamiliar magical scenarios

[bravevolunteer]

me vs the urge to rewrite my bio for no reason

[mariocki]

The Saint: The Art Collectors (5.18, ITC, 1967)

"I don't understand you, Mr. Templar."

"Why, it isn't that I object to doing the fair thing, it's just that I don't like being forced to do it at gunpoint."

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Help help help I had a fnaf dream that actually fucked me up

[robotpussy]

i can finally play OG space channel 5 with no lagging omg

[edge-oftheworld]

I’m glad of the newfound awareness we’re having and I’m aware I’m preaching to a crowd here but what really baffles me is that. there’s some people in this fandom who genuinely wish people they are fans of to go through the pain of a MARRIAGE BREAKDOWN and the abandonment and total life rearrangement that comes with that just because they’re judging someone on the internet and don’t think they’re right for someone else we only know on the internet and through their songs. aside from the total disrespect of autonomy and humanity this is (and has always been, even 10 years ago when it was totally acceptable and unquestioned) maybe make use of some of the things we do know about people from their songs and. don’t EVER wish for someone to have (one of) their greatest fears come true