#feel it in the back of my throat
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#okay so you know the intonation sound in the English language#how we make our voices pitched up at the end of a sentence to imply a question#?? sounds like if you did that to white noise#I don’t have a better explanation#I can like#feel it in the back of my throat#it sounds like what making a ‘what the fuck did you just say to me’ or an ‘excuse me’ face feels like#<-stole these tags from twentyratsinatrenchcoat#basically sums it up in text#polls#rescribble#Youtube
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Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023) behind the scenes
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#chen bowen#nat chen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#userrain#userspicy#uservid#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#they were told 'show your chemistry to the camera' and they just turned into chen yi and ai di.#this is so intimate i feel like im not allowed to look at it....and its SOOOO them....#it's giving post-canon tenderness to me. like....ai di being allowed to relax into chen yi and show him all his love in simple gentle ways#and chen yi accepting all of it and being glad and grateful that he simply has ai di in his arms#plus that little bit of possessiveness from both of them. the hand at chen yi's throat and the neck kiss#and chen yi holding ai di closer and smiling into it. letting ai di do what he wants to him as usual#the way its both 'i love you' and 'you're mine'#ITS ALL SOOOOO CONTENT AND FAMILIAR AND COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY AND FULL OF BELONGING#i really enjoy the bts bc you just watch them shift into their characters within half a second and back to themselves over and over#Thats not even nat and louis i swear to god they transformed. actors who act.#i miss giffing them often.....hopefully ill get back to that after my move....u would not believe how many adjustment layers these have
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Toga: Someone who wanted to be happy
Uraraka: Someone who wanted to make others happy
And also,
Toga: Someone who wanted the world to be easier to live in
Uraraka: Someone who wanted to make the world easier to live in for others
#went back to their fight for 2 chapters and thought of this#toga wants to be able to smile and love as she does#toga wants a world thats easy to live in#uraraka wants to make the world easier to live in for others (her parents)#(and others [ex. midoriya ua speech; random fallen woman in moddle school; tsuyu when first moving to the dorms; etc]#spoilers#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#toga himiko#ochaco uraraka#tgck#himiko toga#URARAKA CALLS HER HIMIKO (HER FIRST NAME)#even though theyre enemies they were on a first-name basis in their last fight#uraraka wanted to let others live easy lives since she was children#she saw how tired her parents were. toga was tired too. but she hid it since it wasnt just physical fatigue#i feel like theyre just forcing deku ochaco ship down our throats#just the occasional random reminder [I love Deku] [We don't want to expose that secret] in the middle of these two girls fighting#like- dont forget about midoriya! hes the REAL one here!#come on. whyyy#*since she was a child (i said it wrong earlier)
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“Sometimes I dream about you. I memorize every detail of your face like a prayer. Those moments seem so real that I grieve whenever I wake up and your spot next to me is cold. Why did you beg me to kill you? I would’ve stopped. Even in death I cannot escape you. I’m not sure I want to even if I was begging for it.”
w/ @kashisun !! (happy birthday 😭)
#simblr#sims 4 edit#ts4#the sims community#mysims#lethal devotion#marine yes I did make this for ur birthday pls don’t kill me 😭😭#putting marine and I’s oc’s in the most devastating scenarios possible at all times#i imagined this as nie finally being found out by everyone else that shes an assassin that was paid to murder nadia#nadia would be stuck because how can she explain why this murderer is able to walk free and openly be allowed in her bed#but also how can she betray the one person she truly loves??#nadia's people would demand nie be put to death and instead of begging for her life nie would beg for it to end#'i have known nothing but misery and death until i found you. i trust no one else to cleanse and free me from my own damnation'#'i know i dont deserve it but paint me heaven with my own blood'#'i cant think of anything more godly than dying by your hand"#nadia would have to stand over her holding the sword to her throat barely being able to breathe staring down at nie sobbing at her feet#but nie would never look so peaceful feeling the blade press against her skin#nadia would be screaming inside PLEADING for nie to tell her stop that's all it would take and she would stop in a heartbeat#she'd figure it out later because at least then she'd have the love of her life ALIVE AND BREATHING#but the words never came instead there would be smothering silence while nie's body lay lifeless on the ground#but Nadia knows why nie never stopped her no matter how much it hurts this was an act of love because it’s what nie wanted#NIE YOU BETTER HAUNT HER ASS#knowing nadia she would spend her entire life learning necromancy just to bring nie back to life#probably think about killing her again too for putting her through that 😭
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BAWKtober Day 21 - Lake
THE BAWK NESS MONSTER?!?
#loch ness monster real confirmed trust me my chickens saw it#we are so back fam#alas i have succumbed to the sickness that plagues the rest of my household#and have been fighting for my life in the trenches with the worst sore throat i've had in years#god i miss when everyone else was still masking that was so nice#still on the mend but i was finally able to sleep and feel well enough to BAWK again!!#now to catch up on everyone's BAWKtobers i missed while i was in the nether realm#BAWKtober 2024#BAWKtober#lake#makenna made a thing#chickens#tiny fluffy dinosaurs#the BEST animals#chickenblr#birdblr#october art challenge#drawing prompts#autumn#fall#artists on tumblr#daily drawing
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@openphrase123 your fanfic(s but i mainly made art of the mira and siffrin one because i cant remember words for the life of me for i do not speak french) IS???? ? SO GOOD. SO GOOD IM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH finally something to look forward to in the week fr
Mild spoilers for it ig!! But nothing too explicitly groundbreaking i dont think it'll kill your mom to look at these without having read the ff first
Don't mind the shit quality i??? I drew all these so fast theyre kinda shit and i have yet to fully acclamate isat to my artstyle so it's mid
Teehee me when i make shitty rushed fanart to show my appreciation that i cannot put into words for my faovorite games and also authors
peep the rant in the tags
#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#god ive been obsessing over isat lately#its terrible how ive been feeding into it#ffs of it be having me giggling running around because siffrin is healing#not in this particular one though#at least not at the part thats written rn#i do love seeing them suffer in equal parts#siffrin my scrimblo i will microwave you#a mosquito is in my room as im typing this girl gtfo#slight spoilers for this fanfic i suppose#okay so THE FANFIC BROO that part where sif lets mira pick his name?! makes me think that sponsors always pick the names#hence why sif never got a new name and spica feels outdated#also i love LOVE seeing mirabelle get better and better at yk... remembering#needing sif to reintroduce themselves every time is such a creative way to do like a pseudo timeloop#everything was so neat#upset that i cant do them justice in drawinng though i have very little experience drawing black hairstyles#or like being around black people with such hairstyles which is a shame!! i would wanna get a better look at the texture and the variation#BACK TO THE FF i literally read this to my older brother out loud (thank god i managed to pester him to play Isat)#and my throat got so raw from speaking that i had to stop but then itd get to another cool detail and i HAD to tell him#so my throat pain? your fault not mine nuh uh not the lack of self control#case in point thanks a bunch for writing!! i wanna get as good at that as you at some point
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I don’t know how to feel about this Eridan because reasons.
#eridan ampora#homestuck#homestuck fanart#how can I express to others the complexities of my sadness#without coming across as trite#or self important#it’s actually funny that I was drawing Eridan while I felt like that#that deep understanding of how unlikable you’re appearing to others#juxtaposed with an inability to stop yourself from continuing to be pathetic and ugly#you talk to so many people about the same thing over and over#feeling it bubble at the back of your throat like tar in every conversation#and you’ll see it on their faces#the pity#the annoyance#you can’t stop it from bubbling though#you can’t stop yourself from spilling over#idk if this counts as trauma dumping#tw vent#just in case#I Guess
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❤️💛
#soft poolverine my beloved#I contain multitudes as far as trope enjoying goes (Logan likes Wade's yapping AND Logan likes to shut Wade up the old fashioned way)#(aka sticking his tongue down his throat)#(among other things but we're sticking with that for this one lol)#Wade is yapping about something#anything really because he can monologue about anything under the sun#and Logan just reaches over wordlessly and grabs his face and Wade just KEEPS TALKING#and every time Logan comes up for air Wade just starts up again#and Logan just smirks and takes a deep breath and goes back in#he gets some silence for a moment AND gets to feel that endless energy fizzing on his tongue#as Wade focuses his nervous mental energy on exploring Logan's mouth for a bit#you know they are SLOPPY kissers#just drool and teeth and tongues EVERYWHERE#I bet kissing Wade is interesting too because his tongue and lips are all ridged and scarred#anyway I just think Logan would shut him up once in a while for like hours long makeout sessions#and then peacefully go back to listening to him yammer endlessly about the minutiae of the My Little Pony Extended Universe#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#deadpool#kinda wip?#are any of these ever really FINISHED or do I just give up on them and move on 🫠#also dont get me wrong they def fuck nasty too#but I think Logan “Touch Starved As Fuck” Howlett would really revel in just being able to touch him lazily for hours#idk man I'm too far gone I need to be anaesthetized#deadpool & wolverine#deadclaws#wade wilson#poolverine fanart#deadpool x wolverine
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Makima, devils and self-fulfillment
Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?
The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:
"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)
So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time
She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"
~
The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.
Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.
And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.
This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.
She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.
And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.
In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.
Devils and agency
Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.
Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~
But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?
And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.
We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.
Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.
Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.
Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.
#Fumi rambles#Chainsaw man#makima#analysis#meta#The goal is moreso me dropping thoughts than being flawless on every aspect of the lore so if and when i get things wrong b merciful….#Maybe her liking of control is why she remembers the ww2 authoritarian fascists. I don’t want to say the word jic for tumblr search#Pity is never a factor When mercy is a sign of a talentless actor#And as you grow its hold on your throat starts to falter And once you go beyond pure humanity's border#You will come back like a dooooog 😭#This’d be a different topic but. I don’t think makima likes denji as much as one of her dogs. If so i’d say it was in the moments where#she brought him to movies but even then….. i think she has more fondness for her dogs bc w denji it was indifference and derision#I love you please humiliate me / strip my dignity and laugh my honey#God. God i’m fine. I’m so okay about csm#Makima has a cryptic but strong sense of morals?? That doesn’t align with ours obvi but#‘Someone like you has no right to wish for a normal life do they?’ What do you meannn what do you meannnnn#What is this contempt for denji. Does she see herself as moral or part of those that are city mice bc they’re undeserving of a calm life???#Maybe famine only feels fed on humans and their blood 🤔 or their fear. man idk idk idk idk but i wanna see more of her quirks#And before someone says ‘but every demon likes to drink blood’ power is especially fixated on it tho cmannnn#Did Angel lie when he said he liked seeing humans die?? Did his haunting thing become worse after meeting Aki?? Did he suppress it#because he feels like he doesn’t belong as a devil??? bc he’s suppressing his memories of the villagers he cared about??#Has he just been trying so hard not to care for so long. Passive bc he thought that’s all he could or should be#AGHHHHH#Spoilers#There’s a lot more i’d have liked to touch on like the popular theory that Makima was *raised* by the government#and i’ve seen a take that the ‘my friend at a farm’ thing is all euphemism from makima about her troublesome human killing job ykyk#but i think the phrasing is too literal and natural for that. The snow and soil talk everything. It’s a perfect allegory but it can be both
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If Shalamayne were a Legion artifact weapon...
#so I was thinking about it and what might happen in the quests leading up to it#and I prefer Anduin keeping it but I feel exploring what it would take for him to part from it could#be very interesting way of furthering his character and letting him stand out as his own person#Maybe in the quest he sees the warrior player fight and it reminds him of his father#he says 'this sword saved me and my kingdom long ago#i want you to use it to save our world'#aND THEN i remembered that BFA exists and what that could mean if the player character was Horde#Anduin spotting the champion at Lordaeron using his father's sword to end the lives of alliance soldiers#a sick feeling overwhelming him bile in his throat at the sight of his father's legacy#in that moment he longs to have the sword back more then anything in the world#also i imagine after hearing anduin gave shala away Velen gifts Anduin a powerful staff to help protect himself against the legion#world of warcraft#anduin wrynn
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Prompt 110
Okay so we all know about how Regis told Dandelion in the books that his blood smelled nice, which was most likely about how none of his wounds were infected and whatnot, but what if it wasn't? What if Jaskier has a special type of blood, whether magically made, cursed, or perhaps just o- or some shit lmfao Either way, Vampires LOVE this shit. Their favorite delicacy when they choose to partake. This becomes a problem when Jaskier has a hurt foot and Geralt takes him to a medic. A vampire, whether the medic, the medic's assistant, or just someone lurking outside who caught a whiff of the blood, is like "Jackpot!" and tells all his little vampire friends, and now they're hosting a big feast just to drain this guy. But it's such a delicacy, the vampire decides maybe they should only drain him a little, so he can keep the human around, so the human can regain his blood, and they can drink from him AGAIN! Oh yes, marvelous! He throws the best parties! Jaskier wakes up with a horrible headache. He's dressed incredibly fancy, though he doesn't think these are his clothes- Speaking of which, he also doesn't think this is his room at the inn... Is he- Is he fucking chained to a dining table? "Let the buffet begin! I hope you're thirsty my friends!~" Fuck. He hopes Geralt gets here quick-
#geraskier#geralt x jaskier#the witcher#geralt x dandelion#geralt loves his bard!#witcher fanfiction#fanfiction prompts#writing prompts#requited unrequited love#friends to lovers#First vampire to drink from Jaskier like: *chef kiss* “Good soup”#Pale queasy Jaskier like: “Hah thanks made it all by myself”#“But just you wait until my boyfriend-who-doesnt-know-hes-my-boyfriend gets here!”#protective geralt#Geralt's canonical instarage when anything happens to jaskier (especially concerning vampires lmfao)#Regis - a good trusted friend of geralts: “i'm a vampire”#Geralt: “Hmmm.... Okay...”#Regis: “Hey Dandy nice blood ya got there”#Geralt putting sword to Regis's throat: “BACK THE FUCK UP BEFORE I SLICE AND DICE YA LIKE A TOMATO”#this actually happens in the books#(not with this stunning dialogue but i digress)#its 6 am!!! had some ~Hurt Feelings~ from extended family shenanigans and decided to cope with GAYS!!!!!!!!#HOORAYYYY!!!#Do NOT ask about it i am serious i am genuine please do not ask i will not answer AWIHGPHAWPIPSHGP
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You can be opposed to taking DIY hormones yourself, but don't treat trans people who DIY like they're stupid or they're uneducated. Oftentimes, people DIY because there are no other options for them. What you do about people who DIY is basic harm reduction - that means educating as many people as possible about the safest ways to monitor hormone levels, how to inject safely if they're taking injectable hormones, teaching people about common signs of hormone imbalance, among other things.
DIY hormones already have risks, and people who DIY know that. The least you can do is not shame them or treat them like they're stupid because they DIY. Again, people will often DIY as a last resort because trans healthcare is rapidly being targeted.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#also like... DIY testosterone is already a felony for those in the US/UK/many other countries so there's huge risk#it just blows my mind how heartless people get about DIY hormone users. do you not get WHY people DIY?#i don't DIY but i understand that *need* to have medication and how hopeless that feels to not have it available#i hate when these discussions open back up because people go for the throat it feels like
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my 4.5 year covid-free streak has officially ended 😔
#they did a flu/covid swab for me on friday before i left work and it was negative#but this afternoon i realized that i couldn’t really smell anything and felt like my taste was kind of borderline#at-home test came back positive :/#at this point i don’t feel too terrible#just stuffy and a little headachy with a bit of a sore throat#friday was definitely the worst of it#so hopefully that means i’ll be better pretty quick#ugh i have a ton of stuff to reschedule for this week though 😩
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screaming and crying over Spider and Neteyam and Fable;
When I lifted his urn Divinity says, "Destiny can't be earned or returned" I feel when I question, my skin starts to burn Why does my skin start to burn? Capital loss Love was the law and religion was taught, I'm not bought Feel when we argue, our skin starts to rot Our skin starts to rot
So, share me your plan If I implore you, could I be your lamb? Understand I look for the truth in the back of your hand, and I Look into the open sky Stars blink like my brother's eyes Stars blink like my brother's eyes Stars blink like his eyes Like his eyes I dream of eternal life
Spider grieving the death of the baby brother he failed. he never pushed him away, he clung to him, he clung so hard, even if he did so quietly, because that was his first brother, his baby brother, in a way that Lo'ak was not (because first and younger are different. they matter the exact same, he could never have a favorite, but it's different in a way there are no words for). Neteyam could push and push and he'd still watch over him and love him and worry over him.
When I lifted his urn Divinity says, "Destiny can't be earned or returned"
Spider holding his baby brother one last time, even if he just sneaks into the mauri holding the dead, because he otherwise does not belong, scooping his head into his hands to kiss his forehead and whisper a goodbye and tell him he always loved him no matter what and that he's sorry. he's so sorry.
in that moment he realizes that their fate has come to end. they were always doomed. to be brothers. to fall apart. to never get a second chance. that no amount of goodness— because his baby brother was good. flawed. that's not even the right word, too harsh. he could call him flawed. no. no he was a child stumbling through life, a hard life, blindly. but he was good. always. always —could have given them a better fate.
I feel when I question, my skin starts to burn Why does my skin start to burn?
a flashback to Neteyam. maybe a memory in Eywa, when the soul of a boy who died too young with too many regrets and dreams and things to fix breaks through the idea of paradise, of peace and rest, of closure, and instead falls onto his brother.
the one he abandoned.
onto whispers— demon. he should be with his own kind. it is unbecoming of you. you need to be a warrior, Neteyam, not running of with him. he will only become his father. his blood bears his sins —that plagued him.
shame blisters his skin. it hurts. it aches. he turned his brother away over whispers? he hurt him over whispers? he put them both through so much pain over whispers?
it had always burned. the feeling was familiar. so familiar. every time he looked back to him and considered taking his hand or curling into his arms or falling into his lap, like old times, questioning why he had ever left this behind... it burned.
why did it burn? he used to think. and now he knows. shame. it was shame.
Capital loss Love was the law and religion was taught, I'm not bought
death. death and blood. death and blood and pain and...
words left unsaid.
clinging apologies.
pleading— take me back. come back to me. take me back. come back to me. take me back. come back to me. take me back. come back to me. take me back. come back to me. please I'm begging you —words wanting to spill out at freely as the blood on the rocks
none of it was worth it.
love should have always come before hate.
hate was taught.
they only fell apart when they were old enough to understand what hate was.
when Neteyam was old enough to understand he should— according to his mother and his people and his clan and all the weight on his shoulders —hate his brother.
when Spider was old enough to realize no one but his brothers- brother and sisters liked him. liked him enough to fight for him. in their childish ways.
none of it should have been.
had there been love, maybe Neteyam would still be living and breathing. maybe it would have changed their fate.
Feel when we argue, our skin starts to rot Our skin starts to rot
another flash. the final fall out. a blow up.
desperate pleading once more.
Neteyam begging his brother to leave him alone, because he cannot keep pushing. it is breaking him. but he can't— he is not allowed to have him.
Spider finally breaking under the weight. he cannot keep doing this.
but as they walk away, nausea eats them away.
Neteyam will cling to each second he can pretend things were as they used to be.
Spider will watch silently.
they are dying.
long before their deaths; the death of a body, the death of a heart and mind.
they are dying.
they are rotting.
fading away
So, share me your plan If I implore you, could I be your lamb? Understand
Spider seeking out the Great Mother. offering himself a sacrifice. forever the lamb.
he did it long before now. before Neteyam was gone. when the war came. when the war parties went out. when Neteyam joined them. when he came back bloodied and bruised.
What is your plan? do you see blood? will take my blood instead of his? I will bare my neck, just leave my brother unharmed. please I beg. I beg.
he asked again when he was taken.
take mine, not his.
because Neteyam might have been a warrior, but he was also his baby brother, and he would always bleed first. he would bleed the blood that tore them apart to begin with.
and now he asks again, still trying to scrape his brother's blood from his nails.
why couldn't you do this one thing for me? why couldn't you let him live? why couldn't you take this hated blood? why could I be your lamb?
I look for the truth in the back of your hand, and I look into the open sky
Spider holding his baby brother's hand. again and again and again. growjng older, larger, wider, tougher each time.
holding it one last time.
tracing where stars should be.
they aren't there.
neither are the answers.
he looks up.
Stars blink like my brother's eyes
he wishes his brother would just open his eyes. that he would see that childish brightness—
hope and love and light and blissful naivety. unknowing of hate
—once more. just one last time.
the stars hold that light.
Stars blink like my brother's eyes
tears prick his eyes once more.
there are more stars in the sky than there ever were on his skin.
more light than there was in a lifetime of watching his eyes.
they had gone so cold and tired so fast, just like his shoulders.
Stars blink like his eyes
he stares up at the stars and cries.
Like his eyes
he wants his baby brother back.
he just wants him back.
he'd give anything.
I dream of eternal life
Spider prays for his brother's peace in Eywa.
Neteyam plays in the creek with his brother, a wide smile on his face.
#back on my fucking bullshit#and I don't think I'm hopping off anytime soon#this song is theirs actually#grief and guilt so strong Neteyam can feel the burn of shame in the afterlife#Spider would give his soul to soothe it#to tell him to never. ever. blame himself for it. to blame the hate shoved down his throat instead.#maybe one day he will get to.#Spider 1000% said goodbye to his baby brother. and if you think otherwise you don't know him.#he kissed his forehead. like when they were little and he made sure his brothe fell asleep first so he could kiss him goodnight.#he held his hand and held his head in his lap and told him he loved him. just for a moment.#he held his han when he was first brought to the water#just so he wouldn't be scared#he looked up to the stars and blinked back tears#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#avatar#avatar spider#neteyam#neteyam avatar#neteyam atwow#avatar neteyam#atwow neteyam#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#neteyam sully#brothers your honor
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“put me on a pedestal and i’ll only disappoint you
tell me i’m exceptional, and i promise to exploit you
gimme all your money, and i’ll make some origami honey!
i think you’re a joke!!! …but i don’t find you very
fuuuuuuu~nyyy”
More tagr art!!! Assorted stuff this time! Featuring some cute chibi stuff. Some solo gaz’s, a lil uhhh. Comic of an altercation.. and a very belated Halloween pic I started drawing last Halloween and didnt finish lol. Also featuring lyrics from pedestrian at best cuz that song rllly rlly fits my ver of tak lol.
#invader zim#gaz membrane#invader tak#tagr#iz tak#iz gaz#tak#doodles#there toxic yuri!!! they’re all over the place!!! tak is tsundere insane alien who fueled by revenge it’s gonna be rough!#I think. there relationship would slowly grow and develop as gaz is helping tak w all her injuries#but I think they’d end up having a true true falling out sometime after take fully healed and gets her ship back.#and they’d be split up for a few years maybe? idk how long I’d want it to be. but! yeah.#absence makes the heart grow fonder and makes u realize how fucking stupid u are#and eventually they’d reunite and shit would be better lol#I don’t want them to be at each others throats forever that’d suck lol#theyre just definitely are moments where there at each others throats in the beginning#but they r also moments.. where they both feel true belonging and acceptance. like they never have before… and it blows there lil minds…#I also dO want gaz to go into space at some point w tak cuz that’d be fucking awesome#after they reunite again they can go explore the universe a bit#these r all very half baked ideas btw and also my brains mush cuz ive been drawing all day#so please excuse if said ideas suck. also please excuse all the typos lol#I might change my mind on the them separating idk… or maybe make it a shorter amount of time… idk!! I havent thought thru all this shit lol#it’s not like I’m gonna write a story or actually make a comic I’m just drawing random fanart#I don’t need to have all these thoughts all solidified lol
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I cannot bELIEVE that teia and viago have managed to (seemingly amicably and mutally at least) fumble each other and returned to USTatus quo between eight little talons and veilguard and now they're standing there in the cantori diamond barely one foot apart abjectly, palpably pining for each other and they're just making me watch. (I mean I absolutely can believe that but oh my GOD!!!) sure I am going to have to save the world at some point too but this takes first priority because if these two motherfuckers aren't making out again by the end of the game I may die in real life
#they're standing so close their elbows are nearly touching and finish each other's sentencesAND YET. why would the maker put me through this#'you ever feel sad the antaam seems to have created distance between us. the crows I mean. and nothing else. of course.'#VIAGO I WILL CLIMB IN THROUGH THE TV SCREEN AND STRANGLE THE LIFE FROM YOU#he's so openly soft with her in this game tho...... two steps back but clearly three steps were taken forward at some point too haha#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#andarateia cantori#viago de riva#teia x viago#head in my hands. here we go again they've got me by the throat
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