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#*since she was a child (i said it wrong earlier)
mishy-mashy · 2 months
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Toga: Someone who wanted to be happy
Uraraka: Someone who wanted to make others happy
And also,
Toga: Someone who wanted the world to be easier to live in
Uraraka: Someone who wanted to make the world easier to live in for others
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darnell-la · 17 days
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Dark!young logan and female human reader as his teacher. It sets in earlier x men back then when logan was young, feral, and didnt realize fully about his mutation. He just knew that he sexually and emotionally attracted to his teacher since she's been so nice to him and protected him from the bullies in his school. He gets bullied bcs he's always alone and super silent in class.
note: needy, dom, and darksih Logan is what we need (irl).
———
“What’s wrong with you today? Need an animal to eat!?” One of the students said to Logan, making the class laugh. Logan was sitting on his desk, legs shaking and hands balled up, trying to control whatever feeling he was feeling right now.
“Hey!” Y/n turned around before slamming the chalk she was using, on her desk. “I don’t know which teacher at this school told you that it’s funny joking about other people’s powers — But I know it wasn’t me. Cut it out!” the young teacher demanded.
All of the kids were silent, never really hearing miss y/n raise her voice, but for the past week, she’s been getting tired of the jokes being said to Logan.
Logan was around the age of 30. He was a hot head and started most of his fights, but for a few days, he’s been weak and silent. Y/n wondered why, but maybe it’s best he didn’t lash out.
After y/n’s long day, she finally decided to pack up and leave her office to go to bed. Almost every week, a new mutant comes in, and she has to do the paperwork. She never complained because she loves helping her students. They deserve to be treated like humans.
As y/n walked past Logan’s room, he quickly leaned off of his bed and sniffed, smelling her like he hadn’t smelled before. Usually, the man only smelled her when she was close by, but as she walked up the stairs and got closer, he knew it was her. So sweet.
Logan slowly walked towards his door opening it and sticking his head out to watch the teacher. She was close to her age, and she anyways stuck up for him. She saw something in him, and Logan adored her for it.
Y/n sang as she took her keys out of her purse and unlocked her door. After she went in and closed her door, Logan stalked after.
Logan swore he loved this woman like no other before, even though his been alive for nearly one hundred years. She was so different.
Logan knew he had something for y/n after the first week. He had his own room, a nice bed, and thick walls. As a normal man, he showered and touched himself, rubbing until he couldn’t hold it in anymore.
As he was jerking off in his new room, he thought of y/n. At first, a small image of her popped up. Then her voice rang through his head. Before he could ask himself why that was, he came silly around his hand, stomach, and thighs.
“Miss y/n?” Logan knocked on his teacher's door right as she wrapped herself in her robe. If this was another student, she would’ve ignored him, but this student was Logan. She grew a small place in her heart for him.
Y/n got up from her bed and walked over to her door, opening it to the sight of a very down Logan. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Y/n asked as she placed her hand on his shoulder.
The man thought this would be easier, but it wasn’t. How would he explain what he’s going through? What would he say? He doesn’t even know what’s going on.
“Hey, it’s okay — You can tell me anything,” Y/n said, but all the man did was ignore eye contact. “C’mere,” y/n motioned him to come into her room. Within seconds, he was in, standing in the middle of her room as his heart pounded.
“Now we’re in here. No one can hear us, so you're safe with me,” the young lady spoke to him like a child, only because he was her student. Other than that, he should be the one to the king to him the way she is.
“For a week I’ve been going through this-this cycle. At first, it was just a small pain, but then my mouth felt dry. Dry like I needed something to eat or — or taste,” the man said, but she didn’t understand.
“Is this like an animalistic thing? Not calling you an animal by the way, I’m just trying to know you better before I start,” she said as she sat down on her bed. She wanted to help him, but he was afraid she might not want to help in the way he needed it.
“No, no, it’s- I honestly don’t know,” the man cut himself off. Even though he didn’t understand himself fully, he knew he needed to touch her. Get close to her and taste her.
“How about you relax tonight, and when you wake up, we can go talk to Hank. Get you checked out,” Y/n smiled at the boy as he walked over to her. The way she looked up at him, made him crumble. She was so pretty.
“Thank you, y/n,” the man cupped the woman’s chin. “Oh, there’s no problem. Really! That’s what I’m here for,” she smiled as she looked away from the thanks he gave, happy that someone saw the hard work she put in.
“No,” the man spoke, voice low as he softly pulled her back to look up at him. “I need to thank you,” the man whispered as he leaned down. “You already have-“ Before she could finish, his lips were on hers.
The girl's eyes widened, shocked at her student's actions, but didn’t push him away. On the other end, Logan’s eyes were shut and his stomach crumbled from the nervous but thankful feeling of her lips on his.
“Logan,” y/n spoke in between her kiss. He responded by softly pushing her down on her bed, shifting her to her liking right before he hovered over her, crotch instantly pressed into her clothes heat.
“L-Logan, wait,” y/n tried speaking, but he kissed her hard, grinding on the woman to earn s few shaky moans. He thanked her god she was in a robe and only had panties on — made his little plan easier.
“Ssh,” Logan shushed her as his lips traveled to her neck, sucking hard to make sure something shows up. He wanted people to know she was taken, even if they didn’t know it was him.
“Logan, you can’t — We can’t,” she spoke as she pushed at the man’s shoulders, but he wouldn’t budge. “Yes, we can,” he assured her with a low voice before hooking his fingers around her panties before ripping them clean off.
“Logan!” She finally shouted in shock. He continued his work by unbuckling his belt and pulling his jeans and boxers down. “I need you, now,” the man slightly growled as he took his cock in hand, feeling his heart raise.
“Logan! Logan, listen — I-I can’t do this. My job!” She said as he tried pushing at her entrance, but she kept shifting to stop him. “You do so good at your job, miss y/n. Made me need you more,” the man spoke into her ear, still trying to get in, but she was a fighter.
If it wasn’t for her job, she would’ve let this happen, but she can’t. She’s his student, and he’s so sweet. She never thought anything like this of him.
“C’mon, Bub — Help a kid some more,” the man smirked down at the young lady before he finally pushed through her walls. He watched y/n struggle on his cock, whining at the instant stretch he gave her.
“L-Logan,” she stuttered as her hands pushed at his hips. She never knew how fit he was until she touched him. He used all his working out and power to snap his hips, jolting her body into her mattress.
“Fuck, baby,” the man dragged, looking down at himself disappearing in her cunt. She already coated his cock with her wetness. “Need you to soak me some more, y/n. Help me like any other time,” the man’s voice still felt low and soft to her, but nothing about his thrusts was soft.
“Logan,” she whined, forgetting about her job, and took him in without wanting him to stop. He rolled his hips so well. “Cum on my cock,” the man’s voice was close to her ear again, this time with a growl.
Logan’s left hand dug into her side as the other pushed her knee back to fuck he’d in a new angle. Now he’s hovered over her, watching her eyes squint in pain and pleasure.
“Do it, y/n — Fuckin’ do it before I get angry,” the man slightly threatened through his teeth. Logan slammed into the woman, taking in her whines and yelps as she squeezed down onto him.
“That’s it — Look at you,” Logan spoke as y/n shook from her orgasm taking over her body. “They always say I’m an animal. Tellin’ me I’ll never be normal, but that didn’t matter to you. You like me like this. Like me burning my cock in your sweet cunt,”
Y/n’s head nodded, agreeing how much she loved this, but deep down, she couldn’t take it. He was rough, but she didn’t want him to stop.
“Gonna breed this pretty girl, then see the looks on their face. Sweet favorite teacher knocked up by the Wolverine. By the animal — Fuck!” the man grunted at the thought of that. He was going to make it happen.
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darkestcorners · 15 days
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polarity | 06 yandere!jungkook au ( sneak peak )
A/N : I decided to post this little sneak tonight since you guys have been waiting so so long. This is not edited yet so please excuse any grammar errors. Thank you💕 :)
——
“No secrets? I-I know what you did.” You accused in between sobs, your hands planted firmly on the floor as you shifted your body weight towards your right leg that left you in an awkward sitting position. It was hard to ignore the chills running down your entire body, your mind struggled to focus on what you wanted to scream at him.
He turned his head to look down at you. His penetrating gaze meeting yours at last.
“I know that you were the one that made my professor accuse me of plagiarism.” You said after another intake of breath. “ You did it, didn’t you? You blackmailed him! Just like you did to me. Just like you do to everyone in order to get your way. I don’t know with what but you did.”
He was silent. Just quietly looking at you.
Your short breaths only quickened, the horrible feeling coming in waves, stopping then gaining more force. You felt like you were stuck in a mid fall. It felt like years passed before Jungkook slowly made his way over to you, your eyes traced over the slight twitch of his fingers and cubic steel bracelet around his wrist. He bent down to your level and you felt his fingers lifting your chin up at him. You knew he could feel you shaking because he angled your face towards him again when you tried to look off to the side, his set gaze halting your rapid eye movements.
“Seems like a little birdie has been talking.” He whispered to you, he almost sounded disappointed. “That just won’t do, baby.”
You felt the sudden urge to slap him but you went to push him away instead. He caught your arms before you could do so, pushing them towards his chest and pulling your whole body closer to him. His actions were rough and careless. An indicator of just how much you’ve pissed him off this time. You could feel your teeth chattering now, your panic attack reaching its peak as you felt your vision blur. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice all over you except you wished someone actually had just to rid you of this feeling.
“You know she’s right, you know I’m right. That’s why you’re so upset.” You went on as you squirmed in his hold.
“How easily you’ve forgotten what she’s done to you. Is it that easy to fool you, baby? Does that bitch really have such a tight hold on you still that you that you accept her words as truth without question?” He sounded a parent scolding a small foolish child over taking sweets from a stranger.
He was wrong. Your once all-consuming love for Eunji had turned into a grudge that you couldn’t shake off. She might’ve been a horrible friend but why would she lie about something like that? It seemed too specific. It seemed like she knew more than she was willing to admit and for some reason that only angered you more. She knew more yet she had given you crumbs in return. Was that the plan all along or was she making you a victim of her selfish bitterness again? Even after everything, it was hard for you to believe she hated you that much.
Because you had seen it. You had seen a fragment of sincerity in her eyes earlier. A small piece of pity, no matter how fleeing.
“Ask your little boyfriend what he was doing walking into Professor Clark’s classroom a few weeks ago.”
You swore you had heard it in her voice too. As if she had been doing you one last favor. Granting you one last bit of kindness for all those years spent together being thrown away. But the more you ponder over it, the more Jungkook’s planted seed of doubt began to grow its roots. Had you only seen what you had hoped to?
“You accuse me of lying to you over some gossip your little fake friend filled your head with? It didn’t take long for you to go running back into her arms, did it? Where is your pride?” The disgust in his voice would be hard to fake and you had to look away from the sheer sincerity in it.
“I didn’t run back to her! I wanted answers and-"
“And did you find them?” He cut you off, eyes searching your face like something in it had already granted him the answer. “No, of course you didn’t baby. You let her have the last laugh again.”
Again.
“How would she know to make that connection and why would she lie about her seeing you walk into our professor’s classroom weeks ago.” You hissed back at him eagerly grasping to take control of the conversation that he had so easily overpowered in seconds.
God, you really couldn’t breath.
“Do you hear yourself? You’re asking me why a girl that has been jealous and spiteful towards you for years would try and scheme against you for sleeping with her ex-boyfriend! ” Jungkook sneered back and you flinched at the sudden raise of volume in his voice.
“Lying comes as easily as breathing to some. Haven’t you learned that by now? You really are more naive than I thought if you have yet to realize how unkind this world is and how often people like you get trampled over.”
You let out another quivering sob, growing more and more upset by his words. You might be naive but you weren’t that naive to not realize that he wasn’t the one who should be saying this to you. Him of all people. It felt like a stab in the chest. Jungkook lets go of your arms and brings them to cradle your face in his hands instead. His thumbs wiping away your never ending tears. His action is meant to be gentle but his grip is so tight that you feel his nails digging slightly into your skin.
“I’ve only ever tried to protect you, baby. Protect you from her and from yourself.” His hot breath sent waves of shock through you, you felt his lips lightly graze your own. “How many times must I save you from her? And from everyone who has ill intentions towards you before you realize it’s only ever going to be me.”
He lifted one hand from your cheek to carress your hair, those glossy doe eyes pulling you in and tugging at the invisible strings on your limbs and heart.
“How many times must I prove my love to you?”
This wasn’t love. It couldn’t be.
It felt like something much stronger. Much too different. Your love for Eunji had never felt this overwhelming. It never felt like you were being lulled to a perfect sleep, just to be suddenly plunged into a free fall. This didn’t feel anything like a secret held close to your chest, your heart skipping a beat everytime you used to see her even when you’d already seen her three times before that day. How giddy you felt at her accidental touches. How much you seemed to please her and never wanted to see her in pain. How easily it came to you to want to fix all her minor inconveniences.
No, this felt nothing like that. It wasn’t a secret. It didn’t allow itself to be. It was too loud. Too ugly. Whatever you had felt for Eunji, it felt five times more heightened with Jungkook. His presence felt like too much yet like there was never enough of it to actually violate you. It fit you in a way you were so frightened to admit. He had taken a piece of you that you never agreed on giving him. Yet it was that very foreign feeling that had you craving him in moments you shouldn’t have. In nearly all hours of a day. You were frightened at what you had been feeling these past two weeks sharing his space. Completely terrified at what he had managed to make you feel for him in such little time .
Even now, he felt so familiar yet so untouchable.
“This isn’t love.” You replied back in a broken whisper. It was mistake and you realized it quickly but it was too late to take it back. You blamed your overly emotional state for the thoughtless response.
A few beats of silence passed with only your uneven breaths filling the room. Jungkook continued to caress your hair before the corners of his lips twitched. An almost sad small appearing on them.
“Fine.” Another few beats of silence. The heavy air lingered.
You licked your dry lips as he retrieved his hand completely from you. Your eyes tracked the movement before they landed on the unreadable look on his face.
“ If you think I’m such a monster, I promise I will show you how easily I can make that come true for you. ” He stated lowly, dark eyes taking in your features again. “And it will make everything else I’ve done pale in comparison.”
—-
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harstyle · 5 months
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the styles' nanny: part two
Summary: Harry finally realizes his mistake, but is it too late? Featuring a strange encounter with Jamie’s mother, another sad drinking session and an unfiltered conversation that changes everything.
Pairing: plussize-nanny!y/n + older-singledad!harry
Word-count: 10.2k
Warnings: age gap (13 years), mentions of alcohol and drinking, kissing, mentions of sex
here’s part one!
A/N: guys!!! It’s been three months!!! I hope you haven’t completely lost interest in this story :( I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting for so long, I just didn’t expect so many things to come up (plus somewhere along the way I lost motivation). I also hope you enjoy this second and (at least for now) last part. No smut, but maybe in a blurb/oneshot of some kind? Anyway thanks for waiting and happy reading!
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I’m resigning. I will stay until we find a replacement but not longer than necessary. I thank you for your generosity during my time working for you, but I’m ready for a fresh start as I think it’s what would be best for me right now. 
I’ll see you soon,
Y/N
That was the text Harry had received at 11am, just one hour ago. He’d called profusely, probably ten times in total, and sent out a pathetic amount of text messages that had all gone ignored and unanswered. 
Harry had lashed out— he could see that now; he’d been horribly unfair and he had taken advantage of Y/N’s inability to express herself in situations of distress. Harry’s worst trait was his short-temperedness and while he had gone through years of therapy to work on it, sometimes it took ahold of him in ways he couldn’t realize until after the fact.
Of course the last thing he’d wanted was for her to resign, which was exactly why her message had twisted his stomach a bit more intensely than he would’ve liked; he had no idea how to rectify this situation. Most things in his life went as he wished and if they didn’t, he found it was easy to make it so they did. But not now— no, he had to think about this carefully.
It had turned one when his phone rang; he was typing away in his office, trying to distract himself.  Her caller ID flashed on his screen, but it wasn’t her voice that caught his ears— it was a man’s. A man’s who’s name was Andrew.
“I’m from the viper,” he said, and Harry could swear he started seeing red, “your friend Y/N got a little too drunk for me to feel comfortable sending her away on her own. Is there any way you could come pick her up?” 
Harry couldn’t help the string of curses which left his mouth as he gathered his house key. “Is she okay?” He asked, only to receive a conflicted hum. 
“She had too many martinis and she was crying earlier. She said something about a fight.” 
“Yeah, okay. Thanks, man. Will you keep an eye out until I get there?” 
“Of course.” 
As Harry got into his car, he felt the overwhelming urge to chastise her, to keep talking until she finally listened to him when it came to her own safety. Not even one day had passed since he’d had to pick her up the last time— no lesson learned, no regrets.
But then, as he neared the bar, the rational part of his brain advised him against it. Y/N was no child, she was aware of her actions and she knew what was best for her— so for Harry to act high and mighty would be wrong and uncalled for.
He needed to just be there for her. Drop the barrier and be there.
He was ready to offer that to her.
Y/N could swear her eyes were playing tricks on her. It wouldn’t be unrealistic, really, her vision had become blurry about an hour ago— but, well, she would probably recognize that silhouette anywhere. He wore jeans and a shirt and his hair was still styled for work; Andrew was pointing at her, and so his green eyes followed. When he spotted her, Y/N felt naked under his gaze.
And before she knew it, he was walking toward her.
“What are you doing here?” She demanded, lower lip jutted out in a pout. Y/N had gone drinking in the hopes of distracting herself— and yes, maybe it wasn’t exactly working, but it definitely wouldn’t start working if he was physically here.
“Andrew called me. Stand up, I’m taking you home.”
Andrew was somebody she‘d met a few hours ago. Originally he‘d flirted with her, asking questions about her as she sat at the bar willing to answer all of them soberly— but once eleven had struck, all she could talk about was Harry. Y/N wasn’t fond of airing dirty laundry so she‘d left the gory details of their fight out, but Andrew knew of a fight.
She was starting to regret it now that Harry was here.
Instead of doing as he’d asked— or ordered, more like, she leaned into the booth further.
“No.”
His eyebrow raised, “no?”
“I don’t leave or go out with dickheads. You taught me that.”
He looked ticked off and it satisfied something within her that had been needing it all night. When he breathed a sigh, eyes closing momentarily, she knew she had him.
“Y/N, would you please humor me and let me take you home? We can keep talking in the car, but not in front of these people.”
“What if I don’t want to go home, huh? Why are you always telling me what to do like you have the right? You’re not my dad.” Her words were slurred and her expression loose. Then she laughed to herself, giggled actually, ridiculously loud. “That’s funny, of course you’re not my dad cause he’s dead! Dead, six feet underground, you know? Probably lower, cause he definitely didn’t go to heaven! He’s, like, really deep underground.”
Concern warped his features.
“Y/N,” he warned, “please.”
She’d turned heads.
“But you know what you and my dad have in common? Yelling. Just yelling, for no fucking reason— yell yell yell, make it feel like my fault even though it isn’t. Right? That’s what my dad used to do to my mom, you know that? That’s why he’s in hell.” 
She was pointing an accusatory finger at him, slurring even more than before.
“And you know what I said to her when she left him? That I would never let a man treat me that way. Never! Promised, hand on my heart and everything, I promised. But you’re different, aren’t you? Cause I like you, cause you’re not like my dad.” Her face fell again into the surfaces of her palms, “you’re not like my dad, but you reminded me of him. And I feel— feel like I’m betraying my mom.” Y/N hiccuped quietly, stumbling over a few words.
The gravity of her words were not lost on him— in fact, he’d never felt as guilty in his life.
“Hey,” he beckoned her to look at him, placing his tentative hand atop her arm, “we’ll talk about it. About everything. But not now. Not here.”
“You’re so confusing, you know that? One second you’re really nice to me and then— and then you aren’t.”
“Sweetheart,” he grasped her face as a last attempt to catch her undivided attention. Harry thumbed at her cheek and stared dutifully into her clouded eyes, “let me take care of you tonight. I’ll make it better.”
In all fairness, she’d lost the fight the second his eyes had met hers. There was something about them, maybe their deep shade of green or how effortlessly she could read them, that could probably persuade her into doing anything.
“Fine,” she mumbled after a minute, letting Harry wrap an arm around her waist as they walked. On their way out Y/N said goodbye to Andrew and stayed quiet otherwise, choosing to give Harry the silent treatment. Harry knew he couldn’t expect her to speak to him, so he didn’t force it.
As they drove, Harry couldn’t help glancing over every once in a while to study her expressions. There was barely a moment she wasn’t staring out the window watching cars drive by; even when his hand instinctively landed on her thigh she didn’t react, only moving it away slightly from his touch.
“Are you driving me to my apartment?”
And although both of them knew he’d really been directed toward his house, Harry still pretended to have chosen to take another route. “Course,” he muttered hoarsely, trying to mask his embarrassment with a quiet cough. Y/N sighed, her eyes pressing shut for a moment as she tried to let the guilt roll off of her back. He doesn’t deserve your sympathy.
“Where’s Jamie?”
He clicked his tongue. “Still at my mother’s.”
“Oh.”
The stubborn thing she was, Y/N refused Harry’s help getting out of the car. Instead she opened the door by herself, almost tripped when she jumped down from her seat and kept a distance anyway. Harry still watched, though, ready to help if needed.
Y/N unlocked the door (failing to find the keyhole several times) and kept it wide open for Harry to follow behind. The first thing she did was toe off her shoes followed by falling into bed.
“Y/N, have some water.”
“Stop telling me what to do,” she uttered, but accepted the glass of water anyway.
He ignored her. “Are you hungry?”
“I’m tired.”
“You can sleep as soon as you’ve changed and washed your face.”
She groaned, pulling a blanket over her head, “Harry…”
“Y/N.”
That stern mention of her name was enough to get her out of bed, limbs pretty much hanging loosely from her body as if she had no control over them— and honestly, it felt like she didn’t. Her eyes closed as Harry wiped a cool cloth over her face, ridding it of a light layer of makeup and sweat, everything that had accumulated at the bar. There were times she leaned into him, forehead falling to his shoulder and arms wrapping instinctively around his waist for support. She could swear that for a moment he’d pressed his lips to her forehead, but the daydream she was in barred her from really registering it.
“Why’d you go out drinking again?”
“Wanted to.”
“Told you not to do that. I meant it.”
“Well people keep hurting my feelings,” she mumbled, “and drinking your pain away is kind of a tradition in my family, so.”
Y/N had never really shared personal details about her family to Harry, but… well, the words were flowing right out of her mouth and the memories reincarnated newly in her head. She was referring to her mother, the former alcoholic in the family. Growing up her mother had drunk so much that she’d almost died from liver failure. As a small child Y/N had promised herself never to end up like her, but she was starting to understand more and more why her mother spent so many years drinking.
Harry‘s thoughts stayed internalized, but he made sure to make her feel heard. Rubbing over the top of her eyebrow, his breath hit her forehead as he spoke,  “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. You didn’t deserve it.”
Her eyes peeked open, the previously warm towel no longer warm. Harry ran it under water again. “Deserve what?”
“Everything, especially the way I behaved earlier. I should’ve taken a moment to myself, instead I lashed out on you.”
It wasn’t until now that Y/N noticed the close proximity between her and Harry— obviously she knew he was cleaning her face for her, but it didn’t really click until now, she supposed. She could see everything, but it didn’t really matter; there was nothing about Harry, especially on him, that could deter her from thinking of him as the most beautiful man alive. Imperfections and all.
The towel met her neck this time, the other side held upright by his steady hand. She could feel his thumb tracing shapes on the surface of her skin and although she was trying very hard not to think of him in any inappropriate way, the image of his hand wrapped around her throat awakened something horrible within the confines of her intoxicated mind. It stayed there.
It was self destructive how often she spent thinking about him, really.
“You still there, baby?”
And he was so gentle— whenever he wasn’t yelling at her, of course— and soft, knowing the lines of what she could handle and what she couldn’t. No man had ever been this considerate and while it may just be his nature, it meant everything to Y/N. As the boundaries had begun to blur more and more, it became easier to misinterpret normal gestures for something more, something so much realer than it could ever be.
But he was calling her baby, and nobody had done that before.
“Yeah.”
“You were much more mouthy back in the bar,” he breathed out, an amused smile tugging at his lips. “Don’t wanna yell at me anymore?”
“No, I‘m not like you.”
“Ouch.”
Harry was humoring her and while it was really really nice; this whole thing, the gentle touches and the giggles shared in between a serious conversation, Y/N couldn’t let it get to her head.
“You were really mean to me and I didn’t do anything.”
His eyes searched for hers, but hers were stuck to his chest. “I know. I don’t know how to make it up to you, but I’ll spend a long time trying, I promise. You’re so sweet to me, so nice, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings. You know that, right?”
And although her heart was still furiously bleeding out, she was willing to ignore that for now. Throw bandages on and refuse a trip to the hospital because really she was just fine. There was just something about how he spoke to her that made it feel like she was floating— like she really was fine. 
“Yeah.”
“Good, it’s very important to me that you do.”
Y/N’s eyes nearly glazed over when she thought about Harry being like this on the regular. It was a dangerous game they were playing.
 “Look at me,” he breathed, beckoning her to do so with the grip he still had on her throat. Her eyes looked so innocent in this moment and although Harry knew Y/N was nothing if not tainted, she looked like she’d never been touched by the realities of life. “So pretty, you know that? So beautiful.”
She felt smaller in his gaze. “You think so?”
Y/N didn’t think anyone had said that to her ever. Nothing of the sort.
“I know so.”
“Thank you.”
“How about we go find you something comfortable to sleep in, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Y/N shook her head, willing to rid herself of this weird tension in her body before allowing Harry to lead her back into the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed as Harry retrieved some clothes and looked up at him expectantly when she could barely keep upright.
“You sure?”
“I physically can’t stand up, Harry.”
And though he looked torn, he ended up reaching for her sweater to pull it over her body, revealing the lacy bra she hid underneath. Y/N’s breasts had always been the biggest ones amongst her skinny friends and growing up she often felt ridiculed for it, though she supposed she could count on Harry not to judge. They were just there, so why pretend like they weren’t?
For Harry, taking off Y/N’s sweater was a completely different experience and although he didn’t wish to be a creep, he couldn’t help but letting out an awkward but knowing cough when he accidentally stared right down them. He hastily threw the shirt he’d brought her onto her torso, scared of what would happen if he were to delay it any longer. Harry prided himself on being a respectful man, but being with Y/N had always tested that quality of his.
“What?” She asked, a touch of feigned innocence to her tone, and he rushed to shake his head.
She knew what.
“Nothing.”
“M’kay.”
“Stand up for me?”
Y/N felt less amazing about her thighs, to be frank. She couldn’t really explain it, but they weren’t visually pleasing to her; cellulite littered the back of them and she obviously didn’t have a thigh gap, but that had become less of an issue. Y/N felt like her thighs had no real redeeming quality. It was a destructive way of thinking, she would admit, but… well, she’d carried that around since childhood.
As Harry pulled down her jeans, she felt void of anything. She didn’t exactly feel great, but better than when other guys had taken off her trousers. It was probably his age. She figured maturity increased as age did, and if Harry were to dislike the look of her body, he would be graceful about it.
“Hold onto my shoulders and lift your right leg.”
He got on his knees in front of her, pulling one leg in after the other. After doing so successfully, he allowed her to get under the covers.
“I’m still mad at you,” she mumbled into the covers, eyes fluttering to a close.
He hummed, “I know.”
“But thank you.”
“Don’t have to thank me for taking care of you.”
“Mhm,” she breathed, “it’ll be the last time, I promise.”
Sleep was pulling at her eyelids.
“Last time what?”
He received no answer. Upon a closer look, he saw Y/N completely overtaken by sleep. Her lips were situated in a pout and her foot peeked out of her thick comforter in the way he had already seen last time he’d brought her to bed.
He allowed himself more time to watch over her this time, scared that if he were to leave it would be the last he saw of her. The anxiety settled on his chest in heavy waves and the image of a precious Y/N was slipping further away from his mind. He had been a horrible person, allowing himself to become the type of man he’d always tried not to be… and he couldn’t do that to her. He couldn’t let this be that with her. He couldn’t bare it.
Harry had always thought of himself to be tattooed with imperfections. As he stared down at Y/N’s sleeping body, he couldn’t help the guilt that wrapped around him like a torture blanket. To him, she was perfect. She was kind and beautiful, she carried her heart out on her sleeve and overcame her past to grow in spite of painful trauma.
What he didn’t know, though, was that she thought the same of him. She thought of him as the most capable person, strong and kind. Her heart yearned for him in ways no one could comprehend.
She thought of him as everything but instead of embracing it, he’d pushed her away… and now both of them had to suffer the consequences.
Harry had stayed the night, but he hadn‘t slept; he‘d spent the night lying on Y/N‘s uncomfortable couch with various thoughts swirling around in his head. At eight he‘d stood up, started preparing breakfast and wasted time looking through social media to distract himself from the girl sleeping in the next room.
Y/N slipped out thirty minutes later, surprised when she saw Harry moving through her kitchen as though he knew it like the back of his hand. She coughed, not knowing where to put her arms and folding them in instead.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he tried to smile, “I hope you’re hungry, I made you a bagel with eggs if that’s okay.”
“That’s… yeah,” she swallowed a lump in her throat, stepping close to the counter, “thank you. You didn’t have to.”
“My pleasure. You—“ he pointed at the side of her face, “you have something there.”
“Oh, I—“ Harry reached forward to swipe at it, wiping his finger clean on his trousers and stroking her cheek once for good measure. “Thanks. Probably toothpaste.”
“Probably.”
Silence decorated their next few seconds, awkward glances and uncomfortable tension felt down to the bones. Then Harry straightened up and breathed in, simultaneously Y/N opened her mouth.
“I—“
“Are you— oh, sorry.”
“No, you go on,” she urged, waving a dismissive hand at him.
Harry smiled, “are you okay?”
“Uh, yes. Yeah, I am actually. Bit of a headache but that‘s expected. Thanks for…picking me up, I guess. I didn‘t want to be a burden, but I kind of told Andrew about you and he got a hold of my phone…“
Harry’s eyebrows drew together, “no, I’m glad he called. You should always reach out to me when you’re in trouble.”
“Yeah, but last time didn’t go over very well, so…”
Harry cleared his throat. “Right, I’m sorry about that. I was out of line, but that doesn‘t mean I don‘t want you to call when you need help getting home. There’s nothing more important than your safety, Y/N.”
“Yeah, but…” Y/N shook her head, overwhelming thoughts swirling endlessly inside rendering her speechless. There wasn’t anything she could say to efficiently express these concerns to him— Y/N had always been bad at communication and the last thing she wanted was to poke the bear even more.
“No go on, tell me.”
“I just… I don’t know. I felt like shit after last time.”
“I know,” he breathed out lowly, “I know you did, and I’m sorry. I didn‘t mean it.”
“But clearly you did if you felt the need to say it. I mean, it doesn’t just come out of nowhere, those accusations. You felt them. And I was thinking about it all day yesterday and… you were probably right, we are too unprofessional.”
“No, sweetheart. I enjoy our dinner sessions and I appreciate that you feel comfortable to talk to me when something bothers you—“ It didn’t matter, though. There was nothing he could say to change her mind.
The words that left her mouth were mostly involuntary. They were a protective barrier, a reason to say no, back off and a clear indication that she had no capacity for this. And although it hurt somewhere deep within her chest to express them, to become a viscous reminder of last night, especially when Harry’s eyebrows drew together in deep regret, it needed to be said.
“Harry, I meant it when I quit last night.”
A reasonable response was lost on Harry. For a moment he needed to think, to gather his thoughts— not that there were very many. He had to admit, he’d hoped they would gloss over her drunken text and pretend as though it hadn’t been. He’d hoped that Y/N felt a small spark of embarrassment when she thought about it, that she looked back on it with regret. Alas, she didn’t.
“Oh.”
He pulled back, shoulders tensing when the gravity of her statement had pulled him down along with it.
“Yeah. I mean, I love working with Jamie, I do, but I—“ I’m scared that I’ll form an attachment I will never recover from. I’m scared of the proximity we share, of how sometimes you let your fingers brush over my thigh. I’m scared because I don’t know what you mean, scared because psychoanalyzing doesn’t work on you. Or maybe— maybe I’m scared of love. With you. Or with anyone. Maybe I’m not capable of being loved. And maybe I’m not even capable of loving and maybe— just maybe, this will be the end of me. And for what? For you to say that the affection you extend to me is customary? That I have a tainted perception of reality, of love? Because I know I do. I know I do, and yet hearing it from you would hurt much more. And so maybe… maybe in this case, finding out isn’t worth the hassle. You’ll probably find I’m not either.
There was so much to say and such little capacity to say it. All Y/N could think to do was sputter words she didn’t mean and hope he understood because the alternative was ridding herself of every. little string of dignity she still possessed and she simply couldn’t do that. She couldn’t allow herself to unfold in front of the only person who’s perception of her she wanted to nurture. No one had stayed. Even if he would come to leave, she wanted him to leave with a sound picture of her.
“But you…”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t… because of yesterday?”
“No. I mean, I guess that was a bit of an eye opener, but I—“ Y/N breathed in, “I think I’m getting too attached to you. You and Jamie.”
His eyes widened just a bit and he took a small step toward her. It was so small she hardly felt him entering her space. “I don’t mind that, Y/N, you don’t need to quit—“
“I do though,” she interrupted him, a stern undertone to her voice. She coughed and said again, “I mind.”
“I think you’re still angry about yesterday.”
She had to contain the urge to roll her eyes, “I’m not. This is separate from that.”
“So it’s the attachment that’s the problem?”
“Yes.”
Harry scoffed, “that’s ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with attachment.”
“It depends on what kind, doesn’t it?”
“Enlighten me then.”
Y/N’s mouth closed. She couldn’t do that.
So she deflected.
“Harry, my contract says that as long as I stay long enough to find a fitting replacement—“
“Fuck the contract, Y/N,” the volume of his voice almost caused Y/N to flinch into herself, “I know what my contract says. What I don’t know is why you’re giving up a job that you love, a job that pays you well, for reasons you can’t even explain to me.”
“Is my resignation not enough for you? Would hearing my reasoning really change anything if I will keep insisting on resigning no matter how often you’ll advise me against it? I doubt it matters. I doubt you would even so much as give a shit, Harry."
Y/N shook her head, tears building in the ducts of her eyes. Her father had been of great emotional abuse, her mother had spent half of her life drinking herself to liver failure and her brother had moved to Madrid as soon as he’d turned eighteen, leaving Y/N to fend for herself in a household that contained not one ounce of love— and yet this felt worse. This felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest, dropped on the floor beating and bleeding.
“You think I don’t give a shit? Really?” Y/N couldn’t help rolling her eyes, huffing when he tapped her on the wrist, muttering with a steady furrow in his brow, “don’t roll your eyes at me.”
“You know why I’m quitting and yet you want to hear it come out of my mouth. I’m not going to do it.”
“I don’t know.”
She almost laughed, “sure”
“Sweetheart—“
“Don’t call me that.” She gave him a sharp glance before heading back to her bedroom, arms falling to the sides of her timid frame. Harry stopped her just short of the door, a steady hand gripping around her wrist. She couldn’t help the gasp that left her mouth, built up tears finally streaming down in heaps— embarrassment brewed in her stomach and she couldn’t bare to look him in the eye anymore. Harry’s touch elicited a spark on her skin, blistering with uncomfortable heat. “What?”
“You’re being rude. I really think you should consider this.”
“There’s nothing to consider, okay?!  I… I feel too much for you, there’s too— there’s too much, okay? There’s too fucking mu—“
What would transpire between them next was a kiss. Initiated by Harry.
It was barely a kiss, more of a brushing of the lips— tentative movements, gentle breaths. It was the minimum and yet it was more than enough. There was an electric feeling that dragged through Y/N’s entire body as she closed her eyes and let herself feel. Harry didn’t seem very much like a gentle lover— generous, without doubt, but Y/N had always pictured him as a pin-to-the-wall, bite-to-the-lip type of man and she quickly received confirmation when he began squeezing her hand as if feeling restrained.
Y/N hadn’t kissed many people; less than five, probably, but she could say with certainty that this was already better than all of the other ones combined. She knew why. She knew the reason was that she genuinely liked Harry, that he made her feel things she’d never felt before.
But then again, Harry was her boss. He was off limits, taboo. And he was absolutely out of his mind right now.
“Wait.”
His breath fanned against her chin. “You don’t want me to?”
“No I do, I just—“ she shook her head, thoughts in a disarray like they’d never been before.
“Tell me to stop and I will.”
Her mouth opened but nothing came out, merely staggered breaths as she tried to regain the ability to think. The interruption came when Harry’s phone rang on the counter.
He groaned, took a glance at the screen and broke away when he saw his mother’s name flash as the caller ID.
“Yes?” He called into the speaker, frustration molding his features as he kept on listening. “Yes, okay, tell him I’m on my way. Give me twenty minutes… Love you too, bye.” When he turned to her, phone slipped into his back pocket, she could tell that he yearned to say more, that he yearned for her to say more. She knew he would halt his actions, leave time for her to get her words out before he left for whatever emergency he’d been called in for, that if she only said something he would consider putting her as a second priority after his son. She knew that he would make her feel important. But she said nothing. And nobody, not even the most patient person in the world could work with nothing. “Jamie’s asking for me. I need to go get him.”
She only nodded.
He sighed, running a tired hand down his face. “Alright. I need to go. I’ll see you around, Y/N.”
She stood at exactly the same spot as Harry slammed the door shut, unwavering.
Her heart was still pounding as the words she should’ve expressed minutes ago died on her lips.
Résumés had been sent to him, interviews were lined up, and Y/N had received no reply back. She hadn’t received anything, really, just a text on Thursday that he would arrange for another babysitter to come in for Jamie while he left for his late meeting, to which Y/N had typed a dry ‘ok’ and left it to sit in her inbox.
The week had started fresh and Y/N had finally left home again (only to her classes, but still). After days of not working, she was scheduled to pick up Jamie at two thirty and hoped for these last weeks to resume seamlessly. She’d gotten the car from the house, locked the door back up again and made the ten minute drive down— everything was fine.
Until now. Until Y/N set foot on preschool grounds and noticed another woman hugging her arms around Jamie’s shoulders. She seemed unfamiliar at first— glasses tipped back on her long blonde hair, a pencil skirt concealing her toned legs. Y/N had no idea who she was dealing with until she took a closer look and recognized this woman to be Stacie. Y/N had seen a picture of Stacie up in Harry’s study— she seemed to have changed a little, but the structural features she associated with her still remained intact through all these years (big blue eyes, defined cheekbones).
As soon as Jamie’s eyes set on Y/N, though, Stacie’s hands were torn away from his shoulders as he ran for her. She got on her knees, his familiar smile melting away all of the cold spots she’d developed in over a week of not seeing him.
“I miss you!” Jamie pulled away to plant a kiss right on the top of the apple of Y/N’s cheek, something he only started doing recently. She guessed he’d only really learned how to. “Daddy said you pick me up today.”
“I missed you too, buddy. I see somebody else came to see you?”
“Oh, Stacie. She wants to take me home but daddy said you pick me up.”
“Yeah, okay. Do you want to wait a second while I talk to her?”
Jamie nodded, moving to stand next to her (small hand clutched in hers, of course) while Y/N greeted Stacie. Well, greet was a bit of an exaggeration; she didn’t get to before Stacie decided to introduce herself first.
“I’m his mom, I called Harry in the morning telling him I’d come for pick up. I have a packed schedule, so I’d appreciate it if you could let go of my child.”
Y/N almost laughed, the audacity of this woman a damn near mystery to her. “Wait. Don't talk about him like some sort of property. Harry never told me about anyone else coming to pick up Jamie.”
“He must’ve forgotten. He’s a busy man, I’m sure he would confirm—“
“Well then let’s call him, shall we?”
Stacie wanted to interject, she could tell, but Y/N had dialed way too fast for that to happen. The phone only had to ring once before Harry picked up, his voice coming in clear.
“Hey, you‘ve got Jamie?”
“I’m here at preschool but Stacie showed up before me and wants to take him home. You didn’t tell me, so I…” she trailed off, hoping he’d fill in the blanks.
It seemed to take a minute to click. “Stacie? His mother showed up at school?”
“Yes, was this arranged beforehand or…”
“No. No, don’t let her take him home. Shit, we talked about this last week, I don’t—“
“You… you talked about this last week?” The confusion dripped from Y/N’s voice and all she could hear was Harry’s attempt at concealing profanities. “What did you talk about last week?”
“It doesn’t matter. Just get home, tell her to call me to clear this up. I don’t want Jamie knowing Stacie is his mother yet, okay? So just get out of there before she tells him herself.”
A frown settled over Y/N’s features before she continued to end the call, scoop Jamie up into her arms and walk away after quick word. Stacie protested, but both her and Y/N knew she wouldn’t do much more than that in fear of causing a scene.
Y/N failed to pay attention to Jamie as she fastened the belt on his seat, only registering when she looked back into the rearview mirror and noticed the little pout starting to pull at his small lips.
And when he finally asked her, little quips of fear polishing his quiet tone:  “is Stacie my mum?”, all Y/N could do was pretend she hadn’t heard and hope he would forget, knowing he wouldn’t.
Y/N bombarded Harry with questions the second he‘d unlocked that front door.
“Y/N—“
“No, I’m entitled to know this time. I’m entitled to know when she ambushes us at preschool. Don’t you want me to know what I’m dealing with if it happens again? That woman almost fucking kidnapped him—“
“Calm down, Y/N. Sit down and I’ll explain it to you.”
She huffed in annoyance, listening nonetheless. She set herself down on one of the kitchen stools and tried to take control of her breathing. She watched as he took a seat opposite her.
“Stacie came to visit last week on Wednesday. She’d called beforehand, asking if it would be okay. She came and we had dinner, we talked some things out while Jamie was in bed. She apologized, asked if we could start working things out again. I agreed under the condition that she would approach the idea of Jamie as a friend first. She said that she would respect my wishes and that she wouldn’t come near him unless I gave my permission. That’s it. So far all Jamie knows is that she’s a friend of mine. I didn’t—god,” Y/N felt bad when Harry buried his head in his hands, itching to reach out in comfort. She chose to play it safe, settling a gentle touch over his thigh. “I know I should’ve known but it seemed real when we spoke last, you know? I didn’t think she’d do this.”
Y/N hadn’t seen Harry this distraught over anything. “I’m sorry. That’s heavy.”
“It’s—“ he sighed, “it’s something I keep having to deal with. All she wants is to have him on the weekends, have him pose as her cute son. But she doesn’t actually care about him.”
Y/N couldn’t do much more than nod. She was caught between playing the comforting role and being honest. She wasn’t sure if this was the place, if her opinion would be welcomed or if it would contribute to Harry’s sorrows. “She seemed… uncooperative when I spoke to her at school. Like she was in a rush or something, it scared me.”
“Yeah, she’s hardheaded.”
“Right.” Y/N pulled her hand away when Harry lifted his head, clearing her throat and averting her eyes. The change in her behavior didn’t go unnoticed, though he knew he shouldn’t ask. “So when you talked… when you agreed to working things out, you meant that in a friendly manner? Or were you going to be… a couple again?”
“We… I don’t know. We kissed— well, she kissed me a few days ago when we met up again for a playdate with Jamie. Never discussed it any further.”
“Do you love her?”
Y/N had begun to hold her breath in, but she didn’t notice it.
Harry did. He noticed the suction of a deep breath and he noticed how his own hands got clammy with sweat.
Harry looked skeptical, as though there was something on his tongue ready to peek out tentatively, only it couldn’t because he had to spare her feelings. Because there was little Y/N, intimidated by everything she’d ever had to face in her lifetime— little Y/N who had rejected him and still expected loyalty. Little Y/N who couldn’t have him, but had always wanted to.
“I think a part of me will always love her. I mean, she gave me Jamie and he’s… the best thing to ever happen to me, really. I love him, and I will always love her for giving birth to him. I will always love her for the good parts of our relationship.”
Y/N hated herself for hating his answer. It was a perfectly reasonable answer, truthful as Y/N expected, yet her mind wandered past the barriers, past the barbed wire. She couldn’t fully grasp how he could still love her— and yet she understood perfectly. There was Jamie, of course, but there were many other things. There was her hair, her bright complexion, the beautiful curve of her hips and the effortless look of her makeup. There was the fashion, the business-casual look that seemed to mesh so well with Harry’s. There was this calling when Y/N pictured the two of them standing side by side, almost like they were destined to be together. She could imagine it perfectly, the many years they had spent together. She could see it. And it looked perfect.
Y/N coughed, head nodding along to his words as if she were listening to instructions and not some heartfelt confession. It seemed instinctual, though.
When it came time for her to speak, she let a smile mold her lips into a perfect crescent moon. She never thought faking a smile could hurt more than a physical injury, but she’d been proven wrong. Everything looked intact— Y/N was sure she almost seemed unaffected from the outside. She wasn’t, though, and she wondered if Harry would recognize that.
“That’s… yeah. I get that.”
This was the first time Y/N actually felt the age gap between her and Harry. He sat here, ready to air it out. He spoke about his concerns, about the state of his son, and the only thing she could fret about was herself. Her sadness had no weight, it was too insignificant in comparison to his and it made her feel pathetic. It made her feel young and stupid and pathetic.
Harry deserved better than this. He deserved careful consideration, security for his child. He deserved trust and honesty, a sort of transparency Y/N couldn’t afford to offer to him yet.
“That’s not to say that I want to approach her in that way, especially after today, but…” he trailed off, only finding his words when it’d clicked that she wasn’t responding, “I just want you to understand that it’s complicated.”
Y/N nodded. Then she cleared her throat, ready to rid herself of this spotlight. She always messed up in the spotlight.  “Um, Jamie asked me if Stacie was his mum today. I didn’t answer, but you might want to think about what you’ll say to say to him next time. I also sent you a few résumés, I’ve talked to a few people and have set up interviews, the first one is scheduled for tomorrow—“ she visibly flinched when his hand came down on her thigh, “please, Harry. I can’t. Please just let me finish this.”
“Okay.”
A deep breath, “it’s scheduled for tomorrow after you come home from work. Do you want me to come on the call, or are you okay interviewing yourself?”
“I’d like you to come.”
“Okay. I’ll stay longer tomorrow.”
“Can we talk about us now? Properly?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Harry almost laughed, “there’s a lot to talk about. We just added on a good bit today.”
“I’m quitting. That’s it.”
“You know, I don’t understand why you insist that there’s nothing going on—“
“Because there isn’t,” she snapped. “There isn’t. I’m going to check up on Jamie.”
She was teary-eyed as she slipped from the stool, ready to conceal it all for the ball of sunshine sitting in the living room. She could do it all for Jamie— she would do it all.
Before he could say any more, Y/N disappeared behind the door. Harry could hear the two of them converse in the next room and his heart felt heavy as the gravity of the situation dawned on him. Harry had always known what to do— he was a CEO, for god’s sake. He was trained to find solutions, take control of seemingly unfixable problems, to make life easy. And yet, this girl thoroughly baffled him. He had no idea what the fuck to do anymore.
And yet, he was determined to keep trying.
Two people had interviewed over zoom and Harry had hated every one of them. His excuses were vague, something about the lack of experience (even though they both knew that Y/N hadn’t had any when she’d started either) and the supposed ‘wrong vibe’. One time he’d criticized a woman for her ‘ridiculously shrill voice’, at which point Y/N had rolled her eyes and proceeded to walk home in a fury.
The next day Y/N showed up again, ready to interview three more people. She sat beside Harry as he set up the video call and listened as he asked questions. Y/N was mostly in attendance to listen and give her honest feedback by the end (she really did want to find someone spectacular for Jamie), so the difficult part came later. For now she could be quiet.
This woman, aside from qualified, seemed very kind. So far, it’d been the best candidate.
“So how flexible is time for you?”
“Very. I do online classes for uni, so I can very well manage my time how I see fit.”
“That sounds fine. And you’ve had plenty of experience, I see.”
“Yes, I started babysitting when I was fourteen, so for more than ten years now. The last family I worked for just moved out of the country, which is why I’m looking for something new, but I was with them three years.”  
This woman had nothing but good evidence she would be the best for the job; no doubt better than Y/N. She had the experience, she seemed mature, she looked kind— she would act in a professional manner, something Y/N had never quite figured out yet.
That didn’t matter to Harry, though, because as soon as she’d gotten off the call, he muttered a ‘no’.
“Why not?” Y/N asked, bewildered by his blunt response, “she was literally perfect for the job.”
Harry lifted his shoulders in a shrug, busying himself with his laptop, “just didn’t feel right.”
“Okay, this is just getting too unreasonable at this point. You didn’t like the lack of experience, fine, that one woman’s shrill voice, fine— but this? She just didn’t feel right?”
“I don’t expect you to understand—“
“No. We’re not doing that.”
“It’s a feeling, Y/N. When I interviewed you, I got the feeling that it’s right, that I’d feel safe leaving Jamie with you. It takes trust.”
“But she’s— she’s so qualified, she—“
“Experience isn’t everything. It’s important, but not everything. You weren’t experienced when you came for your interview but you gave me the right feeling. Thus you were qualified for the job.”
And she understood, really, but it still fucking pissed her off. “That’s fucking— you’re being too picky.”
“For good reason.”
“At least two of the people we interviewed were qualified enough for a test run.”
“We still have about fifteen to go and there’s no rush.”
Y/N found this ridiculous. She muttered under her breath, pushing some hair back with a sweaty palm.
“Why is it that everything I do makes you angry?”
“Because you’re fucking infuriating.”
He breathed a chuckle, “that’s nice,” and closed his laptop. “Are you hungry?”
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me. I’ll make your favorite pasta.”
“I don’t—“ but Harry had already gotten to work, tuning her voice out without much trouble. He smiled at her, almost mocking.
“Do you have another job lined up?“
“Uh,” Y/N didn’t want to admit no, that she hadn’t even begun looking properly (save for that one café down the street from her apartment), knowing the consequences and aware of the tiring reprimanding from Harry ahead. A pitied glance. A pathetic speech. “I’ve applied.”
“Where?”
“A cafe.”
“Where?”
“You wouldn’t know it.”
“Are you hired?”
She huffed, “no.”
“Where else?”
“Um, a… another café. It’s in... near my apartment.”
“Would be bad if it wasn’t,” he quipped, paying her a shortened glance from over his cooking pot. “Do you need help?”
“No.”
“Financial help, maybe?”
Y/N groaned, “no.”
“Because I wouldn’t mind sending you some money—“
“Harry,” she cut him off in an instant, glaring daggers at him, “I’ll just send it back. I’ve saved up enough to get by for a few weeks.“
“That doesn’t exactly ease my—“
“Can we just— can we not?”
And they didn’t. Harry closed his mouth— forced it closed, actually— having to clench his jaw to stop himself from voicing unwanted thoughts.  Y/N looked away, pretending this conversation hadn’t happened at all. It was easier that way, to pretend he hadn’t conveyed such an open and honest display of care, to pretend that it hadn’t ripped her heart to shreds.
There was so much he wanted to say, but he couldn't. It was the first time in a while that Y/N stayed (somewhat voluntarily) after her shift, and he couldn't risk pushing her away further.
For now, he had to be okay with this.
Y/N couldn‘t keep her eyes off of Harry, images of last night flashing in between conflicting thoughts.
She was in bed. She was clutching her blanket, a wet spot and the outline of her body marked by sweat on the sheets. He‘d looked so real fucking her, he‘d sounded so genuine whispering into her ear as he thrust up into her cunt.
He‘d called her a good girl, and she‘d run with it, afraid to look back.
But it hadn‘t been real, had it?
It‘d been a dream. But god, was it a good one.
Would he do it all the same? Would be hold her close, spreading his fingers over the expanse of her breast as he kissed her neck? Would he glide them up, and wrap them around her throat? Would he— fuck. No. She couldn’t.
But he would. And they‘d look so pretty resting there. And she‘d feel so pretty as he overwhelmed her with his presence, his chest pressing against hers. He‘d look so right as he danced along the fine line of praise and degradation— the line of rough and sweet, cold and warm. Because he would know. He would know exactly what she would need.
Wouldn‘t he?
He would. As she watched him move through the space of his living room, she knew he would. She‘d always known, really.
And Jamie wasn’t here anymore, he’d fled up the stairs. And Y/N really, really shouldn’t be here with him alone.
She was biting on her nails, eyes cast downwards in avoidance as Harry read his book on the other end of the couch. He had an arm stretched along the back of the couch and her legs were tucked to her chest as she scrolled on her phone, trying her hardest not to let her gaze run wild. It proved especially difficult when his arm fell mere inches from her legs. And when he touched her, warm thumb rubbing comforting circles into the cold of her skin, she couldn’t help biting her lip.
“You okay?”
“Hm? Yes. Why?”
A smile stretched his mouth wide, “just seem distracted, is all. Squirmy.”
“What? No, I’m fine.”
God, she was feeling small under his gaze.
“You sure?”
“Yes,” she mumbled. Harry saw her eyes, though, tired dark circles resting where they don’t belong. He saw how they widened, how desperate they seemed for something she didn’t want to disclose to him and he wanted so badly to satisfy that need for her. “I should go home.”
His grip tightened ever so slightly. “Would you like me to drive you?”
“Um, no. It’s okay. Thank you.”
But she failed to move.
Y/N had shut him out for so long that the effect he’d always had on her multiplied by ten. It was much much worse and the finger on her leg burned through her skin with ease.
“Sweetheart?”
“Hm?”
“Come here,” he demanded softly, watching as a war unfolded on her face. He could read her like a book, sensing the exact moment her heart won and her head gave up. He pulled her to him, fingers dancing up and down her shoulder. “You seem tired.”
Y/N cleared her throat, tips of fingers holding onto the edge of safety and threatening to let her cascade into the depths of danger. “I had three classes in the morning and I’ve been writing this paper, so—“ she allowed him control as he made her face the other way, legs outstretched, her back just inches from his chest and his hands massaging her tense shoulders. Her eyes closed in pleasure at the sensation. “And last night, I—“
“Last night you what?”
“I had… I had this dream and—“
She didn’t want to finish and he didn’t need her to.
“Is this okay?”
His voice felt soft and comfortable against her neck. “Yes, thank you. You’re good at that.”
He hummed.
“I really should go home though,” she mumbled, getting quieter with each word. She knew she wouldn’t dare push him away now, but she supposed it was more about convincing herself that she’d tried. “Cause I have classes early in the morning.”
“It’s only seven.”
“Yeah.”
Harry snickered quietly, her awful try at resistance not surprising him in the least. He had never seen her quite like this though, weak and smitten in his arms, on the verge of purring like a cat.  He definitely couldn’t complain when she inched closer and dropped her head so it could rest comfortably on his shoulder. 
“Can you do my arms?”
“Of course, baby.”
She could’ve melted. In fact, she probably had without noticing.  
And when she felt his lips pressing to her skin… well, then it was game over.
“Is this okay?”
She nodded promptly, heart racing.
Y/N was tired of rejecting this feeling, tired of pretending as though she didn’t want Harry’s affection. Because truly, it was all she wanted, all she’d longed for.
A love like his would feel so great.
“You look really beautiful, you know that?”
“Thank you,” she squeaked, sensing Harry’s chuckle rolling against her back at the response.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
“Me neither.”
“You’re the one who keeps running.”
“I know.”
“Why?”
Y/N took her time answering, grateful when Harry didn’t rush her. He would sit here waiting for an hour if he needed to, she was confident in that. There was no hurry, just soft hands on scalps and warm kisses on necks— Y/N hadn’t experienced such an overwhelming feeling of comfort in the arms of a man.
“I’m scared to stay.”
He sounded unfazed, giving her a surge of confidence when he asked, “why?”
“Because we’re such different people. You’re a dad, a very accomplished ceo. I’m a student, so much younger—“
“Don’t make me out to be so old, love.”
Her eyes rolled. “A little younger than you. And last week when I saw Stacie, I don’t know… it did something with my brain, I guess. You seemed so right together, you know? I didn’t want you to wake up one day and regret anything, don’t think I could bear that.”
“Look at me,” he muttered, tilting her head so that he could pin her down with a stern stare, “I couldn’t regret you, sweetheart. I regret much in life, but I wouldn’t regret you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Eh, I’m a pretty good judge of character.”
“Harry,” she warned, “I’m not the most lovable person once you get to know me.”
“I doubt that,” he retorted.
“Past experiences have proven as much.”
He gave gentle strokes to her cheek, a glaze he didn‘t expect overcoming her eyes, pulling him in, “so let me show you.”
Y/N’s breath hitched, his nose mere inches away from hers. “Show me what?”
“How easy it is to love you.”
Time stood still, but it couldn’t not have with a statement of that kind. It seemed so easy for him to brush off concerns as something undeserving of thought, to create an allusion of simplicity where it didn‘t belong. Those words meant everything to her.
“You must know how wonderful that sounds coming from your mouth.”
Harry breathed a chuckle, nose nudging against hers softly. When he asked for permission, Y/N couldn’t deny him of another kiss.
And if it could’ve gotten any better than their first kiss, then it definitely had. There was a newfound sense of freedom and security with this kiss, unspoken thoughts reduced to small details rather than what had been when they’d spent time together last.
When they parted, nothing needed to be said. They already knew it all.
A month later.
“Y/N, will you hand me another bowl for the soup, please?”
As Y/N fulfilled Harry’s plea, she couldn’t help but let her giddiness dictate her movements. Things were fresh, things were good— but they were also scary. He was scary. Anxious butterflies spread in her lower tummy at the mention of his name and infested it with the low sound of his voice.
She waited by his side as he tidied up, ready to be of assistance. It was pathetic, really, how awfully smitten she’d become for him.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
She hummed in reply, scared that if she were to speak all that would come out was a squeak. Harry chuckled, smirk molding into his cheekbones as he grasped Y/N by the waist and pushed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. His hand slid lower, giving her a squeeze.
“Are you nervous?”
“Yeah.”
“It’ll be great, I promise. And whatever he says, we’ll work it out.”
“Okay,” a surge of confidence rode her to sunny dry shores, shoulders sacking in comfort, “yeah, okay. I trust you.”
“You ready then?”
“Yes.”
Things proceeded as they always had; Y/N and Jamie shared funny anecdotes of their day as Harry mostly listened, admiring the two of them with love filling his eyes. It wasn’t until desert had come that the setting changed, unbeknownst to Jamie, and Harry took the lead.
“Jamie, we want to talk to you about something.”
Jamie stared between the two of them, waiting.
“Do you remember when you came home from school and told me about Katie and Josh? That they’re boyfriend girlfriend?”
“Yes, they still are.”
Harry chuckled, “and do you remember what I said when you asked if I had a girlfriend?”
“You said that you don’t.”
“I did. And while that may have been true for that moment, things have changed.”
Her heart melted and sank all the same when his little green eyes lit up, “do you have a girlfriend now?”
“I do,” Harry laughed, “you know her.”
“Who?”
Harry smirked, motioning to Y/N with a nod of his head to draw Jamie’s attention away. Jamie’s gaze landed on Y/N and in the matter of a second it filled with excitement. His mouth dropped open in surprise.
“Are you okay with that?” She asked, timid at first but becoming more confident when a genuine smile imprinted small dimples in his cheeks, a feature he’d been lucky enough to receive from his father.
He nodded, full of movement, and hummed in confirmation.
When Y/N and Harry had put Jamie into bed later that night, and had vacated to the kitchen to enjoy a glass of wine together, things finally fell into place. The thought of happiness within a relationship was no longer a distant one— no, it had become a reality. Harry had kept up with his promise, he had shown her easy, he’d shown her effortless, and while there was no doubt in her mind that hard times were still to come, she was confident that no matter the circumstance, her gratitude for his open portrayal of love could never be put into question.
“I love you,” she shared, eyes glassy, head tilted. “You don’t have to say it back, but I just want you to know. I think I’ve loved you for quite some time, I just didn’t want to realize it.”
The silence was short lived.
He placed his glass back down on the table and smiled, though to her it almost looked awkward. “Wow.”
“I know, you don’t have to… cause I know it’s a big deal, so you don’t have to say anything.”
“I do too,” he then offered, hand traveling to rest on her knee. “I love you.”
“Really?”
“I do.”
This stumped her.
And now it was her turn: “wow.”
Harry’s laughter spread everywhere on Y/N’s skin, engraving itself into her soul and staying there to be kept and remembered forever.
“Good. Now that that’s cleared…”
She couldn’t deny him of a passionate make-out session, hands on thighs and lips everywhere they fit, everywhere they felt right. A moan slipped from her mouth, his smirk molded into her hot skin.
“Move in with me,” he muttered, dirty against her mouth, “we’re finding a new nanny for Jamie and you don’t have a new job planned yet. Just focus on university, move in with me, with us. Let me take care of you.“
“Harry—“ his mouth collided against her neck, her eyes closed shut, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
“We’ve only been together—“
“Doesn’t matter, I’ve fought for a long time to have you. I believe in us, I trust this.”
“I…“ Y/N felt torn— on one hand, she really wanted to move in with him. On the other, was that really wise? To move in with a man after a month of dating him? Albeit this was Harry, and she trusted him too. Fully. It was herself she didn’t trust. “Are you sure?”
And when she looked into his eyes, there was no not one ounce of doubt in them. They welcomed her.
“Jamie would love it just as much as me.”
“Would he?”
“Are you kidding me? He loves you so much.”
“I love him too,” she played with a strand of his hair.
“Then move in with us.”
A smile began to pull at her lips. “But I pay for groceries.”
“No,” he mumbled, “you’re too broke for me to let you do that.”
“Harry!”
“It’s true!” He laughed, massaging her thigh. “Baby, I don’t expect you to pay for anything living here. I’m more than capable—“
“I know you’re capable, but I just… I was taught not to burden other people.”
“You’re not burdening me,” he insisted, finger sliding under her chin, “it’s okay to let other people do things for you. It’s okay for others to show their love.”
“I know that.”
“So please don’t worry about it. Focus on your studies and make me proud in that way.”
“I need to make money somehow.”
“No you don’t. I’ll support you.”
“No,” she breathed right away, “I won’t depend on you for money. You’re not my… my sugar daddy.”
“Why not?” He grinned, “you call me daddy either way—“
Y/N’s eyes rolled, “shut up.”
“Told you not to roll your eyes at me.”
“Sorry.”
Harry hummed, “try it for a month. If you want to move in after, you can. If you don’t, I’ll help you find a new place. Or I’ll pay your rent while you’re here so you don’t lose out on money.”
Comfortable silence dictated the next few seconds as Y/N thought about her boyfriend’s offer, and then: “fine. We’ll try it for a month.”
Harry’s smile widened, “yeah?”
“Yes.”
“You won’t regret it."
He'd been right.
--
The end! Would love to hear your feedback :) but also like… don’t be too harsh cause I can’t handle it
tags:
@tpwk-mia @gem1712 @behindmygreyeyes, @sinarainbows @infixinfinity @adkmermaid2399 @daphnesutton @imaginexxharry @bry211 @haliastyles @watarmelon212 @impossibleme @cali-888 @dreamybabbyy @evie-119 @cumuluscranium @c-a-b3002 @buckybarnessimpp @freckles-things @harryedwardstylesluva24 @ihavesimpedovermanyfictionalmen @angelbunny222 @ivegotthecinema @harryscowgirl
I hope I didn’t forget anyone!
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linnienin · 2 years
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🍰 T h e ⁕ m o o n ⁕ a n d ⁕ I C 🍰 : how are you behind closed doors?
Disclaimer: Take what resonates. I'm not a professional astrologer, i just am an avid researcher and i use my personal experience when writing my posts (Also, pls, don't copy my work, i spend lot of time on it, thanks)
We all know the Sun and Ascendant play important roles in our chart, but they are often what people see at first and what we usually display to the public.
Once we get home or we meet someone that makes us feel at home, this is when another unexpected 'part' of us unleash, that part comes from our deepest place of our personality, we don't hide our emotions anymore, we feel completely free to express ourselves in our rawest form (can also be interpreted as 'getting in tune with our inner child')
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⁕ Aries moon/IC : The forever child, kinda like a Peter Pan, and hella CHAOTIC. If you think this person appeared as balanced, laid back and diplomatic, well, you were very wrong lol. You'll soon realize he/she is the most spontaneous of all. Behind closed doors they'll sing loudly, they'll laugh loudly, they'll throw things at you (be ready to catch them or they'll break for sure 😂). Clumsy as hell, and they like it. Endless energy. Gets touchy in an aggressive mode (like when a child put their head violently against their mother's head, they don't mean to be violent, it's just the way they express love, it's bold and uncontrolled hehe) The type to workout at home and be LOUD about it (how many times did i write loud 🙈), has noisy heavy footsteps. Can burn the food lol. Can also be prone to burn themselves accidentally. Constantly finding new distractions to turn their head to. "THAT THING IS MINE, DON'T TOUCH IT". The bed is their personal trampoline. At night, they change position at least 10 times before actually find a decent one to sleep in (they'll make the bed appear as a gym, be ready for the earthquake), heavy sleeper.
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⁕ Taurus moon/IC: 'AHHHHH, finally my dear bed'. I see you tauruses, first thing you do once you get home is jumping on that comfy bed and hug your pillows (yeah, you still have your coat,scarf,hat,backpack,shoes on, why bother taking them off 😂). Not picky when it comes to food, they love all dishes, just the act of eating gives them pleasure (they're here to ✨enjoy✨, that's also why you'll rarely see them cook 😂). The living ghost (that maxi blanket looks good on you, but remember to wash it from time to time since you basically slide it on the floor wherever you go lol). The hugger, literally a safe and calm space for everyone, you'll see people comes to them when stressed just to feel their healing aura. Touchy, but in a sensual and calm way, like gentle little massages/strokes on shoulders, or waist (especially when the other person is cooking, to give them extra support and maybe get a taste of that sauce they're cooking👀) Fall asleep FAST. Usually stays in bed until late morning even if they wake up earlier (spends that time fantasizing)
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⁕ Gemini moon/IC: The multitasker. They can't stay still a second. Cooking while doing laundry, while listening to a podcast, while cleaning (superficially lol),while playing with their cats, while sending emails, while preparing for that exam, and oh...wait what is this smell? OH GOSH, THE OVEN! (of course of all things you forgot the food, sometimes you forget you are even human, you need those calories bby😂). Has the messier room, but also the most interesting one. Have a difficult time with silence, it's uncomfy to them, that's why they are always listening to something (tv shows, podcasts, youtube videos, music) even if they don't really care about what's being said (that's also why they know everything about anything, they absorb these facts like a sponge). Changes hobbies at the speed of light. You see them throwing ceramics one week, the next they're playing the cello (they secretly can't stick to a single hobby because it becomes too boring). Have difficulty sleeping, their brain can't seem to shut down, so usually they can take hours before falling asleep (they find sound comforting and helpful so lots of them listen to ASMR before going to bed or even listen to the sound of breathing of the person next to them to calm themselves)
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⁕ Cancer moon/IC: Home sweet home. There's nothing that feels better for these natives than a good relaxing day at home (or maybe an entire life between those walls 👀). They literally can feel the mood changing the moment they pass the line that separate the outside world from their inner bubble of the home. They love to take care of their environment, they don't feel the chores to be so exhausting because it feels like helping an old friend out, and they take pride in their home too (they won't let you in easily, you need to really conquer them and show them you respect and cherish other's surroundings). They make very good cooks, but not the type to be super detailed with the ingredients, they are more intuitive, a bit like old grandma style (probably learnt to cook from a female family figure too). Make traditionals meals, can make meals from recipes thet have been passed on by previous generations in the family (and they take pride in this too). Has probably a personalized cookbook they wrote by hand with cute doodles on it. Has a specialty for making excellent sweets (and love to eat them too hehe). Has a welcoming aura. Has the coziest room. Loves to make forts with bedsheets. TV series binger. Pretends life only exist between those 4 walls. Bawl their eyes out for no apparent reason at a random time (well, they accumulated the stress from outside so now that they feel safe they let go). Likes to be held when sleeping, and if there's no one beside them, they like to hold a plushie or to curl up in side fetus position 😂
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⁕ Leo moon/IC: The beef. Oh yeah, as soon as the door closes, they can't wait to spill tea on all the people that bothered them during the day (i see u 👀). The funny and spot on imitator. Gets very touchy and loving, until you don't give them attentions anymore 😾, then they'll put on a show, and if you're still apathetic, they might break something lol (don't get them to this stage pls ). Has lots of lights decor in their room, also lots of... mirrors 👀. 48393983902 hair products, their hair routine is absolutely a ritual, if you interrupt them they'll give you the death stare (but deep down they like being caught while taking care of their beautiful mane, cus they feel sexy with wet hair, or even when blowing them, feeling like a superstar). Don't you dare telling them the food they cooked wasn't good, they take pride in it and they try their best to provide for others. Also they care for their family and friends a lot, so never talk bad things about them or you'll hear the roar of the lion. Are the best entertainers, sometimes the show gets a bit too real and you don't know where the fine line lies anymore (that's how good they are, but are you good enough to handle them?). At night, they wanna be hugged from behind to feel the heat on their back (it helps them relax when trying to fall asleep)
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⁕ Virgo moon/IC: Picky af. Especially with food. They don't let you enter their room unless they like you. Everything in their home is accurately chosen and has a function, no useless stuff (even if it seems 'useless' they might use it to relieve stress or whatever). Tidy room. Don't decorate much, they're into the clean look aesthetic, usually they don't have lots of things and they're put in strategical places so that it's easier for them to clean (and they clean the home quite often). The one that knows how to do anything PERFECTLY. They become masters at what they do. Cooking? They know all the secrets. Doing laundry? They have a baggage of knowledge no one else has. Oh, wanna have segss? I just got my PhD in sexology 😂. Is into way too many hobbies, but unlike geminis they actually go deep into it until they have reached a level of satisfaction (honestly...they never reach it because it's never enough, so that's why they say they putted on hold that hobby and not that they got over it, while geminis are like well..who cares, it wasn't for me, next). Reflecting on that conversation they just had with a person 1 hour ago and re-write it to perfection in case they get to experience the same thing another time. Control freaks, i knoooow, but it's true cm'on, why would you get a panic attack when you're home? Your brain never leaves the outside world right? You overthink way too much, pls, it's okay to let go sometimes ok? Light sleeper, has difficulty falling asleep because of they're constantly ruminating.
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⁕ Libra moon/IC: Lives in a castle... i'm kidding, they only wish they did lol (i mean maybe there's really someone out there that is a Libra and lives in a castle and they're reading this post laughing at me, sorry for the generalization). Loves when they have people do the things for them, it makes them feel appreciated and evalued (but also because they don't have to choose or they'll be the forever indecisive). They are the mediators in every family discussion because of their ability to remain calm while others easily fall into rage. Have a room with posters of their idols or fav celebs, is into photo collages of memorable moments. Everything in their room is somehow cohesive because of the ✨aesthetic✨. Sweets lover🧁. Randomly tries all the clothes in their closet just to see if they can make new outfit combos (and spend an entire day on it). Sips wine (or blackberry juice if they're not into alcohol, just because of the old money aesthetic) while watching rom-coms. Loves to try new foods, but don't exactly love to cook it, i mean, they try but... at some point they just lose focus, and when they see the immense chaos of mess they just did, they lose faith lol. Good listeners, probably not the best at giving advices tho (they usually don't even know what they'd have done in that situation😂).
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⁕ Scorpio moon/IC: Collectors. You enter their room and thay have all type of weird stuff like miniatures and gadgets looking at you like... ok wow, it's a creepy good kinda feeling (i found they're into animal's skulls too). It's not rare to hear them talking to themselves, they're not crazy, it's their way to release stress lmao. Headphones on 24/7. Not available for your bullshit, they got stuff to do. "Don't disturb or i'll kill you" on the door. Plan a whole murder but archive it because in this world it's not worth making it. But they have a heart i swear, just for those they love, that's it. Likes playing with kitchen tools, to test all their abilities. Just in case. They plan all the best hiding spots. Just in case. Learning that new taekwondo move. Just in case. Yeah, they're a liitle paranoid 😂. Can leave a bit of dust specifically so they see if someone touch their things. Likes boiling hot food and beverages. I swear, how can you even drink that tea and not burn your tongue, i'm impressed. Is the last one to fall asleep in the whole building, or family members, usually stay up until very late. Sleep few hours, i honestly don't know how they can even stand, they're for sure resilient. Don't like hugs, but gives them when they feel like it. They're like cats, 100%, you got a cat? Good, that is not a cat, it's a scorpio moon. (I love them tho hehe)
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⁕ Sagittarius moon/IC: Clumsy af, but has great humour. Tell the best stories ( can add quite a lot of beef in them, but they don't make it sounds like they're saying bad things hehe ). Has the jungle room, i swear, they have all type of things dangling from walls and the ceiling, sometimes to the point of almost looking like a laser room lmfao (prepare yourself to train like Catwoman). The one that pushes others out of their comfort zone (and kinda use this excuse to escape outside with them too 'cause can't stay inside a building for too long 😂). Probably lives somwhere in the countryside or dreams of living around nature, like in the mountains, in a forest, near a river etc... Constantly jump between rooms and hit themselves with some furniture, has constant bruises on them legs (their energy is too big to be contained between walls sigh). The big portions eater, they can eat all the leftovers from others and still not feeling heavy, i admire their digestive system lmfao (i could never). The funny face eater too, they're the living anime's characters. Binge watch survival shows. Wanna be free, so don't force them into stuff they're not interested in (they'd join by themselves if they want to). When don't know what to do, scroll endlessly their phone through meme pages. Send memes to EVERYONE , even when it's like... why did they send me that? Well, ok let's laugh (ya know, they don't have reasons, they are pretty simple people after all). The first one to try that weird stuff because you only live once so why not make it an adventure? Leaders, but need a counselor. Loud sleeper, can snore. Usually spread their limbs to the whole bed, and if you need to join them, well, good luck (you'll be sleeping on the couch sometimes😂)
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⁕ Capricorn moon/IC: your pacific homie. They do the same things every time they come home (like a programmed robot lol). Routine lovers. They need a predictable environment because their energy gets sucked by the chaos of the outside world. They aren't into decorating much, but they do have a passion for artistic hobbies, some of them can paint or play an instrument/sing, they have their tools for that hobby and that's it, the rest is quite minimal and practical. Can wear the same outfit on repeat too, it's like they don't care, or they have better things to care about (Mark Zuckerberg kinda vibe with the same tee over and over again). Loves traditional meals, meals they always ate since they were a child, not so open to try new food. Have a...peculiar relationship with the family (particularly their mother). I have noticed they usually don't talk much when having lunch/dinner at the table, they don't express much, and don't make eye contact to avoid people making questions. Quite reserved, need a lot of alone time to recharge. However, there's a need for them to have someone by their side to share those things too, they're absolutely afraid to end up alone, it's their worst fear, so even if they don't open up much, they want someone that understands them with just a look (however, communication is key guys, sometimes you succumb to the other person, especially if they have a strong personality, to just avoid conflict, and this is to your own detriment, you deserve better!). People say that this placement don't like physical touch, however, i'll say they veery rarely initiate the contact, but deep down the like it when others take initiative and show affection to them, it makes their heart warm even if they might not show it (but i can still see that subtle change in the expression 👀). The stable sleeper, they sleep in a position and that's it.
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⁕ Aquarius moon/IC: Step into home=step into my fantastic spaceship and leave earth for a while bye. The crazy calm gal. Constantly crunching their bones (why tho). Tries to walk on walls just to see if they can bend gravity. Wanna try to glue their shoes with the Pattex and attach themselves to the ceiling like the guy in the advertising(Can be content even with swinging from the chandelier). Throw random parties and invites everyone (even strangers lol). Likes when people stay over to sleep, just to see them all in their worst condition (usually drunk)😂. Have the tech room, and when they enter it, they turn off their lights, turn on their displays and pick up their hood, and voilà, they're in a Mr.Robot mood (can be good hackers for real tho). Don't know how to show emotions so they instead react with a weird funny expression that could mean everything and nothing at the same time. Yeah, they can be confusing as hell (is this part of their plan? I dunno). Record a video of themselves everyday talking about their experience on this earth, just in case someday someone (maybe an alien) finds these recording and place them in the Interspatial Galactic Museum. Thanks for your contribuition. Can sleep with eyes open. I'm kidding hehe, they actually can sleep well, because they know they did their job that day, so rest in peace (and you'll never know when the world will end, might be today, so gotta enjoy the sleeping hours). (but honestly, there's some truth behind the sleeping with eyes open, because of all the screen time on their devices, the melatonin production is at 0 basically lmao, turn on the night filter when looking at your devices!)
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⁕ Pisces moon/IC: Walks in, continue walking, get to their room, get on the bed. Wakes up. Moment of realization: ohh, i didn't know i just got home, i was in my head thinking, but good thing that now i can relax. Proceed to search for food ready to be eaten (without too much cooking involved). Free to daydream with 0 consequences (hmm...maybe you should organize your time better cause that exam won't pass by itself). A literal softie, their room is full of plushies and pillows where they can drown in. Always lose track of time. Has a messy but cozy room (very bad at tidying their things). Leave 3789132789 clothes piled on the bed lol. Lost in their thoughts. Intuitive eating (can binge eat tho if not careful). Can burn the food because they just forget they even put it on the first place. The master procrastinator. Has a calm vibe , and won't disturb anyone (you probably won't even notice them). Have artistic hobbies, but can't focus on them for too long because they get easily distracted. Can lose the entire day to watching videos or social media, and even if they're aware, they still continue doing it. Are into spiritual stuff, probably got 17932701 cristals and a personalized altar for them too, with others meaningful pieces and some candles. They're always in the bathroom, even when they shouldn't be there, it's just their favourite place. Can take veeery long showers, if you live with them, be ready to wait A LOT before they actually get out (or just sneak in😂privacy who?). Loooove to sleep. That calming time at night when everything shuts down is the best feeling in the entire world to them. They can't wait to go to bed honestly, they even get excited. Afternoon naps are also a thing for them. Like to sleep on their stomach.
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A n d ⁕ y o u ⁕ h a v e ⁕ r e a c h e d ⁕ t h e ⁕ e n d !
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I hope you enjoyed this post,
and i wish you all a great day! 🍰
⁕ L i n n i e ⁕
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hellodropbear · 1 month
Text
it's time. (IV)
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mapi leon x ingrid engen x child
part I, II and III
enjoy! this is the final part of the series
please send requests for any one shots for this family because I love them!
~~~~~~
The knock at the door was loud and rapid.
Mapi knew exactly who it was, having received very subtly passive text messages from Alexia about 15 minutes earlier.
Besides, it's not like it was going to be Ingrid, and nobody else visited her at the apartment.
She squeezed her eyes shut as she opened the door, bracing herself for whatever Alexia was going to say to her.
No words ever came out though, the midfielder just striding in and sitting herself on the sofa, her feet right beside where Isabel was playing.
"Ale!" The toddler's voice became excited as soon as she noticed her godmother walking in.
"Hey my Is." Her first words were incredibly exasperated, a long sigh escaping as her attention was turned to Mapi who was standing anxiously by the front door, having frozen after closing it.
"Frido told me that Ingrid is 'dejected and confused.'" She used her hands to make quotation marks around the adjectives before continuing. "She told me exactly what you said to her, how you said it. When you said it."
Mapi exhaled softly, walking over to where she had been playing with her daughter and sitting down, her little black cat settling in her lap.
"You told me to talk to her." Her voice came out like a mouse, quiet and hesitant.
"I didn't mean say one sentence on the pitch after the game and walk away! I meant think about what you wanted to say, how to say it and then have a grown up conversation with her!"
Isabel's head whipped back up, unfamiliar with the aggression in Alexia's voice. The midfielder winced, reducing her voice down to a softer tone.
"You are going to have to fix this Mapi, you can't avoid her like I know you were planning on doing."
The centre back's hands were occupied with the toys, but her mind was far from playing as she considered her options.
"What, so I tell her I want to be friends?"
Alexia nodded easily.
"But what if I can't? She's not someone I can just be friends with, Ale."
"Then you can just see where it takes you."
She shakes her head, her hands freezing around the toys in her hands.
"I wish it were that easy."
Alexia's heart broke with Mapi's voice, only now noticing the heartbreak written all over her best friend's face. Because this is really what Mapi thought was the right thing to do.
"Depriving yourself of happiness for the sake of your child is not going to end well for either of you."
Alexia's voice was softer now, her hand coming to a rest on Isabel's curly head of hair.
But Mapi just shook her head again, disagreeing.
"Isabel doesn't deprive me of happiness, she makes me happy. She's kept me going ever since Luis died."
The midfielder knew this, and she knew how much her best friend loved her child, how much she needed her and how much she relied on her. The baby was everything to Mapi and it was so obvious that she was just so afraid of doing something wrong, of messing up Isabel's childhood.
Everyone who knew the mother knew that wouldn't happen because she has done such a good job of raising the happy baby despite her own problems that she could easily let overcome her.
Once, she told Alexia that she had lost a best friend but been given a new one instead.
Another time, she had said that she would never be good enough for the baby that carries half of Luis around with her. She admitted that every once in a while, she would see tiny bits of her late best friend in her child and be so overcome with emotion.
Because it took her best friend dying to have this baby who she loved so much.
The day of Isabel's birth was a day of huge and conflicting emotions because Mapi loved the baby before she even saw her and couldn't imagine giving her away so quickly, but she also knew that if she hadn't just experienced the greatest heartbreak of her life she would have had to give her back to her parents.
And on top of that, the death of Luis and Isabel meant that they wouldn't be able to watch their little girl grow up, they wouldn't be able to be parents, something both of them desired so greatly.
So she loved her baby daughter so much, but part of that love would always be tainted by what she could have been, what she should have been; the fun aunt.
She was given the baby because she was the next best option after the two perfect parents, and she made a promise to herself that she would spend every day of her life trying to live up to what Isabel could have had.
Why should the baby lose out on such good parenting because of a tragic car accident?
And Mapi knew that she could never and would never break that promise.
Alexia knew that too, but she didn't think that Mapi finding someone to love would break her promise. If Ingrid was the right person, she would love and care for Isabel too, just like she already did.
"I know, Maria. But I think you deserve this, I know you do. If you don't like her like that I'll leave you alone, but I think you do."
Mapi's face softened.
"Of course I like her, Ale. She's kind, she's loyal, she's helpful. Is loves her and she loves Is. She's gorgeous - on the inside and the outside but she is so much more than that. She's complex, Alexia and-"
She was interrupted.
"And so are you. We all are complex and that's good. We all have our own stories and hardships, they just vary in size. You have a big story Mapi, I know. She knows that too."
"She doesn't know."
The centre back shook her head because in truth, she hadn't been able to bring herself to say it.
She had spent hours with Ingrid, every day over the past month they'd seen each other, gone on walks, had dinner together. Of course the topic of how Isabel was born should have come up, because Mapi was obviously a gay woman, it wouldn't have just been an accident.
She'd told Ingrid that she gave birth to Isabel, but nothing more.
Ingrid didn't feel like it was her place to ask any questions, and Mapi didn't know how to say anything more without breaking into tears for her lost best friend. She couldn't tell Ingrid about the pressure she felt because the Norwegian wouldn't have understood. Surely, she couldn't have?
Alexia's eyes rose and then focussed back down on Mapi.
"She doesn't know about Luis? Why you were out for so long?"
She shrugged, letting out a long exhale.
"I said that I gave birth to Isabel and didn't want to leave her so soon to go to training. She didn't ask any more questions. It's not like I lied or anything."
"I think you need to talk to her, Mapi. You don't need to talk about Isabel, but you need to tell her your thoughts. Try and be friends, for the sake of the team, please."
Mapi shrugged, telling Alexia that she would consider it.
The midfielder also suggested visiting the psychologist, but the suggestion was quickly shot down, as it was when Jonatan suggested it on her first day back.
Mapi had been to a psychologist once since Isabel was born, and it was a secret she would likely take to her grave. It had been a low point and she didn't know who to talk to, so she searched up a psychologist in Barcelona and went the next day.
She had sobbed on that sofa as Isabel slept in her arms, entirely unsure of what to do next and how to deal with her career, with her baby and with the grief that consumed her everyday life.
The psychologist had sat there with a neutral face, appearing bored as Mapi poured her heart out. She only spoke when Mapi's cries were reduced to quiet whimpers, telling her that she was depressed and shouldn't have taken on a load as big as a whole child when she was still clearly grieving her best friend.
The referral to the psychiatrist had only made the Spaniard feel worse, and she had returned to her apartment with less security in her decisions than she had before she went.
Another promise was made that day, and that was that she would never return to a psychologist, not unless she was forced to by the club. She would deal with everything else on her own.
~~~~~~
"You've been so good to me, Ingrid, and I'm so grateful. But I'm sorry, I can't do this. I can't have a girlfriend."
The words echoed through Ingrid's mind in the days that followed, unsure of what had happened, where she went wrong.
Mapi was the first person she'd become friends with, and she thought it was going well. She thought the Spaniard had liked her just as much as Ingrid liked the Spaniard, but clearly not. She had read the signs wrong or something, because you wouldn't say that to someone you liked.
She heard Isabel calling for her on the bus on the way home again, but this time she just smiled and waved.
She couldn't bring herself to sit next to Mapi, not when she had left her in the dust as soon as she recited her rehearsed lyric. It was confusion that she felt for a few days, but it didn't take long for that confusion to morph into anger and bitterness.
Frido had been understanding throughout it all, listening to all Ingrid's anger and confusion, advising her over and over to just talk to the Spaniard.
"She's got a child and we don't even know where she came from. It took her 14 months to start training again after giving birth when it usually takes up to 9. There must be something going on, Ingrid. She said she can't have a girlfriend, not that she doesn't want one."
The Norwegian had scowled, brushing off Frido's concern for Mapi and complaining that she was supposed to be on her side.
Frido was, but she was level-headed, she was smart. She wasn't blinded by anger or love or whatever Ingrid felt for the short centre-back with the adorable child.
"I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to go and beg. I just want it to be easy, I wish it was just easy."
Frido shook her head, an arm around Ingrid.
"It's not easy for an average person, let alone someone like Mapi who clearly has so much stuff going on. We don't know if she has anyone to talk to about anything, about raising a child."
"Alexia is like Isabel's other parent, she's been there since day one, apparently. Mapi's mum and Alexia were the only ones at the hospital when Isabel was born. She's not completely alone."
Ingrid shrugged but Frido frowned, becoming more and more curious about Mapi found herself with this child, and what the mystery was.
It wasn't her business, Frido knew that, but everyone was so proud of the Spaniard when she went back to training, her first game back. Their pride in the special centre back was more important than anything else after a long two years off.
And Mapi's emotions on that first day, the seemingly happy tears that she had wept in the changing room. They felt like more than happiness about a return to football.
Although, Frido couldn't be sure. Maybe Mapi just loved football more than anything else, a perfectly reasonable and realistic explanation to the emotions that were witnessed that day.
Ingrid knew it was more than that, more than just a return to football that had made her so happy. Because Ingrid knew Mapi, and while football was important to the Spaniard, it was nowhere near as important as her life outside of the sport: her friends, her family. Her daughter.
It was something that Ingrid was so drawn to. It was clear on the pitch how much she loved the sport, how she thrived when she was playing it. But outside of that... it was like she didn't play football.
Her apartment was like a sanctuary, a place cut off from the rest of the world where Isabel could live in naive happiness and Mapi could rest with her baby and her cat. It exuded happiness, bright colours and toys displayed, the fridge decorated with bits of scrap paper covered in a selection of scribbled lines. Mapi would draw Ingrid's attention over to the fridge when a new piece appeared, bragging about how her child was an artistic genius, how she would grow up to be just like her Mami.
She was so full of love for someone so small and it made Ingrid's heart weak, unable to fully comprehend the stark difference between Mapi at football and Mapi with Isabel.
She fell in love, she thought, with both versions of her.
With the one who would carelessly block dangerous shots, carefree and boisterous on the field, assertive and aggressive when she needed to be but always running off with a laugh afterwards. She lead the team in a way that even Alexia admired, the young players drawn to her uncanny ability to make everyone laugh.
She fell in love with the one who spoke in a childish voice, relishing in the never ending hugs and kisses that Isabel would provide, swinging her around in the park and never being more than a couple metres away from the baby that she loved so so much. A perfect mother with a perfect daughter, both so full of love for each other.
And Ingrid felt so lucky that she could see both sides of the Spaniard, that she could witness her around two things she loved so much and compare how differently she materialised her love for both of them.
But then she made her return to a competitive game, in Valencia with a perfect comeback.
Ingrid was so excited for her, happy to see her thriving on the field, a place she loved. She played brilliantly as well, quietening all the people who said she shouldn't be there, that she had spent too much time off.
She proved that she had, in fact, been that missing piece of Barcelona in their past two years of struggle, easily filling in the gap with her generational talent.
And the Norwegian was so proud, despite not knowing the whole story, not knowing all the challenges that Mapi had faced between the birth of Isabel and now. She knew enough to be proud and that is all that mattered.
She had smiled brightly at the Spaniard, walking towards her and pulling her into a hug ready to whisper her congratulations.
But Mapi had other plans, her words rendering Ingrid speechless as she walked away, back down the tunnel with Alexia's arm swung over her shoulders.
But the Norwegian felt frozen in time, unsure of what had just happened and why she said whatever she had just said.
She'd been pulled from her frozen state quickly by Frido, who had noticed the interaction and frowned.
It was easy for the Swede to recognise her best friend's crush, and also to recognise how it was so easily reciprocated by Mapi. She hadn't expected Mapi to say what she said to Ingrid, and was suddenly filled with overprotective and frustrated anger.
~~~~~~
Isabel had begun to miss Ingrid's presence after about a week. It was clear when Mapi took her out on her walks, her small head peering out of the pram, trying to spot the tall Norwegian with those warm and comfortable arms.
Mapi brushed it off every time, but it didn't help the pit in her stomach at all.
The Spaniard was lonely, she realised, and she had been since Isabel was born.
Sure, she had a person living with her, but there was only so much she could say to a baby so little without going crazy at the lack of response. Other than the word 'Mami', of course.
She was lonely before Ingrid, and it was only after she pushed the Norwegian away that she realised how she filled that hole so easily.
Conversation had fallen so easily between them and it filled the silences that Mapi had grown so used to as she lived her life with the baby. She enjoyed talking to someone about things that weren't about her grief, her baby.
She enjoyed talking about herself again, simultaneously getting to know Ingrid and  everything she stood for.
She fell for the Norwegian, quickly, but that wasn't hard for her to understand, it hadn't taken her long to realise it.
It was harder to realise that they couldn't be anything more than friends, that she had to push her away - the exact opposite to what she actually wanted to do. She knew Ingrid would be upset. That she'd be confused and angry.
But it's what she knew was right. At least it's what she thought was right.
She wasn't so sure anymore, her heart breaking a little bit more every time Isabel looked around for the Norwegian, her face falling at her absence over and over again.
"Ingrid!"
The lift doors opened to a sweaty Norwegian, headphones in and her eyes on her phone.
Isabel saw her first, Mapi's eyes also on her phone on the trip down.
Both of the adults looked up at each other, Ingrid almost immediately diverting her eyes down to Isabel who was beaming.
"Hello Is! I've missed you!" She smiled at Isabel, and Mapi's smile dimmed slightly.
It was a reminder of what she had pushed away, of everything she couldn't have.
The baby giggled happily, reaching her arms up to try and get Ingrid to lift her.
The Norwegian made eye contact with Mapi, silently checking if it was alright and the centre back nodded easily.
Ingrid tried to ignore the sadness in Mapi's eyes. Maybe the centre back did miss her. Maybe she did regret pushing her away.
Maybe there was a reason why she pushed her away, more than just to hurt the Norwegian.
She picked Isabel up easily and the baby fit perfectly on her hip, planting a kiss on her cheek and wrapping her arms around her neck.
She looked over at Mapi, who was still somewhat frozen by the elevator door.
"Mami! Ingrid." She pointed at the Norwegian. "Play!"
Mapi shook her head.
"No, Is. Ingrid can't come with us."
The baby frowned, tilting her head at Mapi.
"Why?"
"Because she's just been on a walk! She can't go on two."
The Spaniard's voice was weak and Isabel's lip trembled, her smile disappearing as she understood her mother's words.
"No!"
She began to cry and Mapi stood frozen on the spot, completely unsure of what to do.
She wasn't a bad mother, she was better than this. She knew how to calm her crying baby but for some reason she just couldn't move.
She bit back her own tears, refusing to let Ingrid see her cry, to see her so weak and helpless with her baby when she was supposed to be a strong and independent mother.
Ingrid let Isabel cry into her neck, rocking her softly and staring at a frozen Spaniard.
"It's fine, Mapi. I can come."
She frowned at her still frozen form, unsure how else she could deal with the situation.
Mapi didn't know either, but she nodded, somewhat misunderstanding Ingrid's offer when she shoved the pram over to her.
"I can't, I can't deal with this right now." Mapi felt hysterical, but she tried desperately to keep it together. "Please just take her, calm her down. She hates me, she hates me so much."
It wasn't true, obviously, because Isabel loved Mapi more than anything.
But Ingrid knew Mapi, and she knew she wouldn't listen to anything that she had to say in attempts to comfort her.
"I'll take her, come back in an hour or so and you sort yourself out, Mapi. She's confused, she doesn't hate you. She just got used to me and then you got rid of me and is confused about it all. She's only little. So go back to your apartment, calm yourself down and sort yourself out. I'll calm her down and bring her back in one piece."
Mapi nodded aggressively, stepping backwards into the closed lift doors, awkwardly pressing the button as Ingrid walked away with her still crying baby.
It was only when she reached her apartment again that everything hit her. The confusion, the guilt, the stress, the embarrassment.
And she cried. She let everything out as loud as she could because for the first time in so long she was alone in the apartment, no child to hear her cry, no friends to help her work through the emotions.
It never worked, either. Crying was the best way for Mapi to release everything, she realised and she took advantage of the empty apartment as she realised that she hadn't been able to cheer her own daughter up, she had passed off to her teammate as she cried.
She was weak, she was a terrible mother.
She couldn't do it anymore.
Luis would be disappointed.
Worse, Luis would be heartbroken.
And that's what she thought as she fell asleep, the tears tiring her eyes until they dropped closed, sending her off to a restless sleep on the sofa.
~~~~~~
"Wake up, Mapi."
She must have forgotten to lock the door because Ingrid had walked in as she slept and was now sat on the other side of the sofa.
Mapi's eyes snapped open, looking around in confusion before sinking back into herself as she realised it was not just a dream.
"Isabel is ok. She's asleep and I put her down in her cot. She stopped crying pretty quickly and was happy at the park. She fell asleep in her pram on the way back."
Mapi nodded, sitting up and wiping her eyes.
"You need to tell me what's going on."
The Spaniard frowned. There was a lot going on.
"Which bit?" She smiled weakly, faltering under the Norwegian's harsh gaze.
"Why you said what you said. Why you just froze when Isabel was crying, practically running away and letting me deal with it. Why you came up here and cried yourself to sleep. I deserve to know this. I at least deserve to know why you pushed me away so easily and so suddenly."
If there was a time that Mapi wished the floor would swallow her whole, it was right then and there. Because she wasn't prepared for this conversation, she didn't know how she was supposed to have it without breaking down all over again.
It wasn't an easy topic, talking about why she can't date which is what had caused the whole debacle. It opened the whole story about Luis and how Isabel was created.
And of all times, this night was the worst possible time for Mapi to speak about Luis. Right after she realised how disappointed he would be in her parenting, how sad he would be that his daughter was being raised by someone so incapable.
It was funny, really, how one tiny situation could change Mapi's entire perspective, how it could completely destroy any confidence she had about her parenting abilities.
She didn't want to talk about it, not at all. But Ingrid was right there, a judgemental yet somewhat concerned eye focused on the Spaniard who seemed to be struggling to form a sentence.
The silence lasted multiple minutes and Ingrid was about to speak again right before Mapi opened her mouth.
She didn't know what she was going to say, but she knew she needed to say something, so she did.
She started at the beginning, with Isabel's health issues and Ingrid had no idea where it was going.
Why did it matter that Mapi's best friend's wife was sick?
But very quickly, as Mapi spoke about their desires to become parents, everything began to fall into place.
And the Norwegian was horrified by the tragic story she was hearing, a lump in her throat forming as the mother lamented how she was the only option left to raise Isabel, how she was alone in her final trimester until Alexia came over two weeks later and found out that Luis had died, that her best friend had been left behind with his unborn baby, her life changed forever.
His genetics still growing inside her long after he took his final breaths.
Mapi didn't stop as her voice broke, moving away from the topic of Luis and onto how much Isabel meant to her, how much she worried that she would make a mistake, that her friends would have made such better parents than she did.
How she had to have full focus on raising Isabel and couldn't be distracted by anything - she couldn't be distracted by football in the beginning which is why she took so long to come back. How she can't be distracted by a girlfriend now, which is why she pushed Ingrid away.
Ingrid wiped a tear away as Mapi's fell freely, continuing to explain how she had been depressed but unable to get herself any help after the one disastrous trip to the psychologist.
How she felt incapable of unloading her issues onto others, only telling Alexia the necessary stuff to stop her from nagging.
"Luis would be so disappointed in me because I have ruined everything. I can't do anything by myself and I never should have agreed to keep her. I love her so much, I don't want to ruin her."
That was where the Spaniard stopped, seemingly overcome with emotion as she broke down into her hands, Ingrid quick to move to her side and pull her into a warm hug.
"You're so wrong, Mapi. So wrong. I've never heard anyone be more wrong in my life. You are the best mother Isabel could ask for and it hurts that you can't see that."
Mapi could only cry, too conflicted to even try and decide what was true.
"Ale said I needed to talk to you, to fix things. Because I don't want you to hate me and I definitely don't hate you. But Ingrid, we can't just be friends, you know that."
She looked up at the Norwegian, who easily noticed the anguish all over her face.
"Why don't we try? See where it takes us. We can figure it out together, Mapi, you don't have to do everything alone."
She nodded, trying to convince the both of them that they could try.
And Mapi nodded hesitantly.
"Isabel does like you."
Ingrid chuckled quietly, nodding.
"Not as much as she loves you. She was asking for you about 2 minutes after we left. You are so good to her."
Mapi smiled, leaning into Ingrid's embrace.
"I don't think I can be just friends with you, Ingrid. I think that's why I've been so upset."
Ingrid hummed in agreement, waiting for her to continue.
"I've been so worried about losing you and so worried about being distracted from Is. But I don't think I ever could be, I don't think you'd ever let me be."
The Norwegian chuckled.
"I don't think she'd ever let you, she loves the attention too much."
And just like that, Mapi knew.
Ingrid was the right person, the person Alexia had been going on about for years, since before Isabel was even considered.
"And Mapi?"
Mapi looked up, her eyes meeting Ingrid's.
"I don't think I could ever just be friends with you either."
She smiled, placing her hand around Mapi's neck and drawing her close.
Mapi leaned in closer and waited for Ingrid to finally close that small gap.
And then Ingrid's lips were on hers, a promise, a declaration of love.
And Mapi made another promise to herself, right then and there.
She would never let Ingrid go.
~~~~~~
right so that’s the end! hope you’ve enjoyed so far!
not the end of Isabel Leon because I already have a few requests for her that have been thought about or planned (some of them)
I also have the blurb of her at the Olympics (2032) doing her sport that nobody has guessed so I’ll give you an obvious clue - it’s an action sport lol
I’m considering putting her in something else too but they’re like polar opposite disciplines so let me know if you think yes or no
and please send me requests because I want to write more about Isabel!
thanks for reading and for the love on this story, you’ve made me cry from all the nice messages
have a good day :)
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Text
Well, Actually
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Summary: Spencer gets frustrated as Reader proves him wrong about an unsub's profile.
Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
Category: Fluff-ish
Content warnings: discussions of gender, sexy implications, Ernest Hemingway
Word count: 1.5k
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It’s when I flip the OPEN sign to CLOSED that I can finally breathe. Saturday Sale Days at the bookstore are usually easygoing, but most people took refuge at the windows thanks to the crime scene across the street. Another sex worker was murdered, according to the agents who were here earlier. Well, one of them looked like an agent; coated from head to toe in black and seriousness. The other, however, might as well have been a pretentious preppy middle schooler who thinks a doctorate — three doctorates (he made sure to correct me) — gives him the excuse to lack social graces.
I’m not used to running into FBI agents regularly. However, I’m fairly confident that questioning civilians is more about further insight and not running to the end with confirmation bias. Dr. Reid, on the other hand, had his confirmation set that he and his team were looking for a woman riddled with internalized misogyny who was killing sex workers and leaving quotes from Ernest Hemingway pieces.
So, is it wrong that I may or may not have said they might actually be looking for a male with possible gender nonconformity issues? According to the quotes written in lipstick and discussions revolving around Hemingway’s relationship with gender, it was the first thing to pop into my head.
And it was Dr. Reid’s first instinct to take it personally, like any other gifted child who’s never learned what it’s like to be wrong (possibly). His reaction mainly consisted of raising his voice and saying my assumption “was not relevant to our case” and taking a collection of Hemingway’s short stories without paying for it. I haven’t found a suitable way to explain that to my boss yet.
Regardless of his reaction, I had no reason to expect to see him again. I got a card from Agent Prentiss after she questioned me behind the counter and haven’t heard a word since. It didn’t matter then because we were closed, and I had the day off tomorrow —
Knock, knock, knock. A simple three-raps on the glass. The night makes it difficult to see who it is, but I’m more than familiar with the panic button under the register. So before I turn the lights out, I get closer to the door to find out who on the other side can’t read.
And without thinking, I open the door, but don't let him in. “Agent Reid.” I can’t help but push him just a bit.
“Dr. Reid.”
“Right.” I faked a laugh (years of practice). “Well as you can see we’re closed for the night so —”
His hand is out, holding the book. The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway. The paper cover is already pulled up at the corners and the spine is cracked. Nothing display worthy, that’s for sure. “I took this.”
“And you had it for six hours. How did you decimate it so quickly?”
“I was using it as a source while we were trying to solve the case.” His hand was shaking, from nervousness or lack of strength to hold a paperback in one hand for longer than a minute, either could be possible. “I figured a way to make amends was to come back and purchase it.”
I looked down at the book and looked back up at him. Sincerity and boyish charm force me to hold the door open for him and let him in. When he comes in, his under eyes are darker, perhaps because he's a night owl, or because of his job. His hair is still fluffy like this morning but droopy.
He was prepared to call it a night before coming here. But thievery is apparently too heavy for this agent’s shoulders.
I walk to the register, booting up the fancy tablet. “So did you? Solve the case, I mean?”
“We did.”
I scan the barcode, luckily he didn’t ruin that. “And? Did she explain the Hemingway quotes at least?”
Silence, only for a moment. I see his hands digging into his pockets. He pulls out a debit card and hands it over. “He, actually.”
“What?”
“He didn’t explain the Hemingway quotes but said he targeted sex workers because they were ‘freer than he ever would be.’”
Silence swallowed the room immediately upon saying that but of a different kind. The kind that was ripe for me to brag and possibly even do a little dance. But I’m patient, and I don’t like interrupting people. I tap the screen slowly so the good doctor can gather the words. I even took another glance and his eyes were already locked on me. It would’ve made me jump if he didn’t follow it with “You were right.”
There it is. “Hmm,” I say as I keep the arrogance down to a minimum as I contemplate my next words. I take his receipt and scribble before bagging the book. “So do I get a one-way ticket into the bureau, or do I take your place or —”
“Thank you for your help." He says slowly as if he were being ordered to apologize. Like he wrote these words in a document before coming here. “Your observation sent us in the right direction.” His hand is out, waiting.
I also have a talent for dragging things out. When I shut the techy stuff down again, I go back around and hand them to him, so I can get closer. Read his face. When he reaches out and just touches the paper, I jerk the bag back. “That’s not what you want to say.” I let the bag dangle off two of my fingers, shamelessly drinking in the moment. “Come on, it’s gotta be killing you.”
He rolls his eyes. Briefly, but enough for me to notice. “What could be killing me?”
“That you, an FBI agent, with two PhDs —”
“Three PhDs.”
This is so fun. “Three PhDs was outsmarted by a girl who works in a bookstore. Merely a bachelor's on my resume.”
“That is not the case.” He says.
“It seems relevant to the case now.” That intended to burn, and it did. Scorched actually. I could feel it from here, so I walked to the back to find the lights, expecting him to follow me.
He did. The creaking of the old wood floors echoed as we walked, there was no rhythm or synced steps, just two different walking patterns, one at ease and the other eager. “Just tell me how you figured it out.” He says. “Hemingway has been praised for his writing style and the way he wrote certain female characters but his macho personality indicated he enjoyed nothing feminine.”
A chuckle might have been appropriate, but I replied with a stark laugh. A bold “Ha!” As I opened the lightroom door. “Because macho men are known for being the happiest people on Earth, according to history.” With a click, the lights flickered steadily before turning off. I had my phone flashlight ready, though. “Honestly, Dr. Reid, it might be worthwhile to take a break from reading and watch a documentary on the man. It adds up quickly, even someone like you would get it.” I let the flashlight guide me back to the front, avoiding collateral damage from bookshelf corners.
Until Dr. Reid stepped in front of me, causing my head to collide with his chest. Somehow, I didn’t drop my phone and instinctively reached for my nose. “Someone like me?”
“Ow, first of all. But yes.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
I rub my nose in the dark. “That even a predictable bookish boy like you can eventually come to grips with the fact that he doesn’t know everything.”
“And you do?” He asked.
“I never said that,” I admitted.
He looked at me skeptically. Even in the dark, I could feel my arrogance might have gotten the best of me here. I tried looking away, to another dark space. 
He, however, did not. “What else did you say? Predictable?”
“You mean you don’t remember?”
He sighs, and air from his nose brushes above my lip.
Then so does his hand in my hair.
His lips, though, were quite the opposite. As if all his frustrations couldn’t take it anymore and needed to be let out with a teeth-smashing, saliva-coated spectacle (that no one could see. Not even us.) All I felt was wandering hands and the wall hitting the back of my head before he pulled away. His hands are still on my waist, and he breathes sharply in and out. “Was that predictable?” I heard him swallow.
I contemplated my response for a short while, wondering which one, a yes or a no, would get him to do it again. So instead, I just grabbed where I assumed his head would be and jerked him down to meet my lips again. It worked. His hands wrapped tight as if he glued himself to my skin. “Will you get reprimanded by your team for being somewhere you aren’t?” I ask between breaths and lip separation.
“Maybe. I’m sure you’d enjoy that.”
“I won’t admit anything,” I said. Whether it was to see Dr. Reid’s night turn out worse, or to keep a secret from his boss about a makeout session in a bookstore, I’m not sure. But his body was thin, layered with clothes. Warm.
“What will you admit to?” He whispers, moving our bodies, begging for more kisses. Or just more.
“Dinner?”
“For?”
“Education purposes, Dr. Reid.” My hands can’t help but explore. “Seems like we’ve got a lot to learn.”
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reallyromealone · 9 months
Text
Title: Accidental mating
Fandom: criminal minds
Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader
Chapter: one
Warnings: male reader, omega verse, mpreg, enemies to lovers, Omega male reader
🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑
(name) woke to voices, muffled and distant as he snuggled into the nest, cum leaking from him as he stared off "Hey, Hun" a female voice spoke out and (name) focused his bleary eyes to see Prentiss crouching before him "You handled this well, kid" she said softly "think you can get up?" She asked and (name) shakily stood up, hips burning and Hickeys and Bite marks everywhere "Wow, you two went at each other" she teased and (name) glared, though he wouldn't admit it it was one of the better fucks he had in a while.
(Name) walked out into the living room to see the team, the assistant groaning in embarrassment as his boss swiftly checked him over worried "I should have checked the calendar, his ruts next week-- well it was supposed to be next week" he said worried and (name) just sighed "can we just pretend this didn't happen? It was an accident, one was claimed and I frankly just wanna go home and take a nap" he said simply, the team looked worried, Spencer refusing to make eye contact with the Omega that he had speared on his cock a few hours ago, he couldn't believe he accidentally shared a rut with (name).
The two were constantly at each other's throats, bickering about something or another--- frankly, the team thought they fought like a married couple. (Name) and Reid avoided one another like it was the plague, neither wanting to deal with the other or even thinking of bringing up what they call the "incident" and giving looks if anyone dared bring it up.
"Again?" Prentiss asked confused and (name) sighed as he sipped water "Yeah, I think I'm coming down with something..." He didn't wanna be sick, it was the last thing he needed "Well make sure to rest up" she said as (name) went to bring a coffee to hotch, Prentiss quickly went to Penelope"ok I might be wrong but I think (name) might be--'"--pregnant? Oh absolutely, he could barely stomach the smell of (drink) and he drinks it as he breathes it" the hacker said not even surprised at the concept of pregnancy, it had been weeks since the "incident" and the two worried about how it would go, it was too late for him to get an abortion this late.
"How do we bring this up?" Prentiss whispered as Morgan came to drop off papers to Penelope "Bring what up?"
"(Name)s pregnancy to (name)"
"/what/" the three halted as Spencer looked horrified at their words "he's pregnant?!" The Alpha did the math in his head before rushing to find the Omega "Reid!" Morgan tried to stop him but it was too late, the brunette was gone.
"(Name)!" Reid hissed out as he found the Omega alone in the breakroom, working on some stuff as Hotch had a meeting and his desk was in his office "What Ried" the other man said disinterested as he looked up to the seething Alpha "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?! Why did you keep it?!"
"Ried what the hell are you talking about, I'm not pregnant"
"What?"
"As far as I'm aware I'm not pregnant..."
"Thank god, fucking thank god!"
"I haven't done a test or anything but I don't think I am, wow so relieved not to parent with me are we?"
Ried rolled his eyes before speaking "Well now that that's sorted--" but I should take a test... I have been nauseous..."
"Pardon?"
"It's better to be safe"
Three pregnancy tests stood before them, a timer for each as (name) fidgeted, playing calm but Spencer could read him. He was nervous. Anxious even.
"If I am... Pregnant, you don't have to take custody, no child support or anything" (name) 's voice was barely above A whisper "I know co-parenting with me would be the last thing you would ever want" Spencer looked at him confused but remembered his reaction earlier, the Omega couldn't break away from the sticks as the timer went off. "Pregnant...pregnant... Pregnant" (name) 's voice was watery as he realized that yes, he was pregnant.
Pregnant with the most pretentious asshole he ever met.
"I'll take responsibility"
"What?" (Name) was on the verge of tears as his emotions were building "I'll take responsibility, they're my kid too"
"A-alright..." (Name) whispered as he shakily took the pregnancy tests put them in the plastic bag from the store and walked out, currently figuring out what he was going to do, he was an unmarried and not mated pregnant Omega, he would need a bigger apartment... Oh god, he needed to get things in order...
(--e), (--me)... (Name)!" (Name) jolted out of his thoughts as Hotch looked at him worried, his assistant looking like he had gone through hell as he tried getting back into a work mindset "O-oh! Sorry sir!" He said nervously and he was so thankful to be wearing scent blockers so the whole floor didn't reek of anxiety and panic" Are you alright?" He asked with genuine worry and (name) swollowed "I-I... Could I talk to you in your office?"
Spencer came out of the staff room looking panicked as he spotted Morgan and rushed to him "I have a problem" he said rushing as he led Morgan to an empty corner "What's up pretty boy?" The other alpha was worried for his close friend "I-I got (name) pregnant, I fucked up" Morgan had a feeling this was coming, his best friend panicked and stressed "Hey, what happened between you two was an accident but what you two gotta do now is figure out how to not go at each other's throats for this kid" he said softly to the genius who looked even more stressed on how he was going to interact with (name).
"That baby is gonna need two functional parents, especially during the pregnancy, I'm not saying be besties just... Stop pointing out every mistake he makes" something Reid did specifically to annoy (name), "maybe be nice to him... You may see good results"
"I'm pregnant" (name) said barely above a whisper and Hotch looked beside himself, guilt evident on his face "I'm so sorry... If I hadn't sent you--"Sir, permission to speak freely?"
"Granted"
"You are the best boss I have ever had and if I hear you blame yourself for something no one could have expected, I will throw my shoe at you" (name) said simply and the Alpha chuckled "You have been hanging around Garcia to much" the room felt lighter and (name) looked at him seriously "would you be a godparent? Over these years working with you, I have seen you as a very close friend and it would mean the world to me"
"(Name), I would be honored to be that pup godfather"
(Name) spent the week during his free time looking for apartments, sighing as he was rejected time after time, a pregnant single Omega wasn't something many renters wanted to rent out to...
"What are you doing?" Spencer raised an eyebrow at the other who glanced up "Apartment hunting, I need space for the pup" (name) was just starting to show slightly, the Omega putting plans in motion for his pup and how his life will project "I was wondering... Do you want to join me for my first ultrasound?" (Name) asked softly, the Omega extending an olive branch to the Alpha... "You want me there?" Spencer asked softly and (name) sighed "They're your pup too"
"Y-yeah... I guess"
"My appointment is at 2:45 pm on Tuesday, planned parenthood, if you're late I won't let you come to another one"
"Fair enough"
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s6ngbird · 8 months
Text
flowers from beneath — ACT V
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series masterlist || navigation
[ warnings ] — NSFW, your mother being her usual self, fingering (f. receiving), , lmk if i missed anything
[ pairing ] — hades!coriolanus snow x persephone!reader
[ a/n ] — and here's the last act! i do think i'll make an epilogue but i have another fic in mind before i do that <3
[ beta read by a literal goddess aka @etfrin ]
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“i'm not giving her back” coriolanus said, after zeus and your mother had come to the underworld, demanding your release
“she's happy here, probably because you're not there to watch over her like a hawk” he continued, watching with a smirk as your mother reacts to his comment, she was turning so red that coriolanus was sure he could see the snoke radiating from her ears, just as he intended 
“she's not yours to keep! you kidnap my darling child, then try to keep her and now lie to me about her happiness?!” your mother shouts, seething with anger at coriolanus, all while zeus just rubbed his hand over his face, clearly not in the mood for either of their childish behavior 
“you might want to check with her on the whole ownership thing, she really seems to think i own her now” coriolanus exclaims, glee evident in his voice as he continues to argue with your mother, face lighting up everytime she makes a comment that he can easily retort to
“you are insufferable! zeus, what do you think about this? tell coriolanus he's being unreasonable and needs to return my daughter!” your mother yells at coriolanus, turning to zeus with a much calmer attitude to ensure that he would be on her side about all of this
“why don't we just bring her out? see what she thinks about coriolanus and returning to earth” zeus proposed, hoping that your mother would not go off at him for this solution 
“fine i'll bring her, but if she doesn't want to come, that's not my problem and maybe it'll help you rethink some of your life choices about being a mother” coriolanus said, getting off his throne and stalking towards his room, knowing that you would most likely want a kiss from him once he came in
maybe he could even fuck you quickly, so fast that zeus and your mother wouldn't even know but still slow enough to let your mother know that he was doing something to you and you had no objections 
before opening the door to his room, coriolanus looked behind him, double checking that your mother hadn't followed him and once he was sure no one was in the hallway besides him, he opened the door, shutting it quickly
you looked up the minute you hear the door open, your face lighting up when you saw coryo coming in, looking weary but a smile still present on your face that was only reserved for you
you had been cleaning up his room for a while, even though coryo didn't let you out of his room, he still unchained your ankle so that you could freely roam around his room and bathroom without him having to watch you
though getting to watch you take a bath and piss were always a delight for him because he got to see you naked…not that he didn't already get to see you naked whenever he pleased
he walked over to you, picking you up and tossing you on his bed, crawling over you and kissing you hard
you assumed he was upset about something since he never kissed you this hard unless someone or something had upset him earlier, and you were right
he didn't want to have to lose you, all of that time and effort that was put into kidnapping you, all the effort put into making you fall in love with him and getting you to submit yourself to him willingly, would all be wasted if he let you go
once he finally pulled back, you cupped his cheek and he leaned into your touch, shutting his eyes and taking deep breaths
“what's wrong coryo?” you ask, and he snakes a hand around your waist, flipping you two over so that you were on top of him now
“it's just…” he stopped, unsure of what to say next, if he told you that your mother was right outside in the throne room, you might want to go see her which is exactly what she wanted
but if he didn't tell you that, he would have to come up with some elaborate lie that would break his and your promise of not lying to one another 
“your mother stresses me…and she's here” he says, slowly and keeping his arm around your waist to ensure that you wouldn't run the minute he told you
and to his surprise, you stayed put, burying your head in his neck as his other hand came up to stroke your hair
“what's she doing?” you whisper, almost afraid to say it out loud
you had always had this subconscious fear of your mother because of the control she had over you, always grounding you if she thought you stepped out of line and slapping you at times when you really messed up
but you hadn't realized how afraid of her you were until coriolanus kidnapped you and you had spent so much time away from her
and even if coriolanus had married you against your will, you had grown fond of him and loved him, just as he did with you, though he loved you the minute he saw you
“her and zeus want me to bring you out so they can decide what to do with you, he says, voice muffled from burying his face in your hair in order to push down the feeling of crying, no he would not cry, he hadn't done that in decades and he wasn't about to start now
“i think if you keep me here, she'll grow suspicions and probably break down your door” you say, looking up at him, thinking of what to say next
“if you bring me out there it'll be better, trust me ok?” you kiss him, hoping to convince him from doing something he'll regret later and he kissed back, getting lost in your lips before you pulled back, giving him an expectant look
“fine, we'll go, you just need to change and clean up a bit” he grumbled, pulling you off of him and standing up as you go to the bathroom to wash your face
he laid back on the bed, sighing and rubbing his hand over his face, wondering if this was going to be the last time he ever saw you
and if it was he knew exactly what he wanted to do, getting up and coming up from behind you, picking you up and taking you on his bed, despite your protests 
“coryo! you cannot fuck me right now!” you exclaim, but when he quickly stuffs his fingers in your leaking cunt, your protests are silenced
he laughs at how wet you were, clutching your jaw in his hand as you go limp, deciding not to put up a fight with him, just praying that you would be done quickly and your mother wouldn't storm into here and watch her daughter being ruined by the very man she hated
you whined, trying to push him off despite not really wanting to and he eventually got off, but he made sure he made you come first
he wasn't about to deny his little bride of an orgasm, especially because this could possibly be one of the last ones he'd ever be able to give you
after he cleaned you up, he grabbed the nicest dress that he had brought you, helping you into it and zipping up the back and whispering in your ear how fuckable you looked in the dress and how he wished that he got just suck on your tits forever
you got red and slapped his arm, which earned you a slap on the ass that turned you even more red, groaning in frustration as he laughed, kissing you and leading you out the room, his hand wrapped around your waist
your mother lit up when she saw you, running over and hugging you so tightly, you felt that your bones would break under the pressure
she pulled back, checking every inch of you to make sure coriolanus hadn't hurt you and once she came to the conclusion that he hadn't hurt you, she hugged you again
“we're going to go home soon, i promise” she said, holding you closely as you squirmed a bit, opening your mouth to protest, but coriolanus beat you to it
“she's not going back to earth, she's my wife, it's her decision at the end of the day” coriolanus said, giving your mother a death stare as she let go of you
“she's not staying in this hellhole! she belongs on earth with the greenery and more importantly with her mother!” you mother objects, fed up with how coriolanus views this situation 
“and what the fuck do you mean married?!” your mother yelled, angered by the “marriage”
“she's married to me, what more is there to explain?” coriolanus retorts, sounding almost bored of this petty argument
“well you must've forced her and locked her up because there's no way my daughter would agree to marrying an asshole!” your mother seethed, annoyed by coriolanus’ calm reaction
what your mother said was true and both you and coriolanus knew it was true, but in that week, you had warmed up to him and no longer acted wild to escape him just as he started to treat you as his equal, telling you that there's no way in hell he would treat his queen like an object
but alas, your mother and coriolanus bickered for a while, not letting up on the insults and fighting over you as if you really were just a mere object
“i think that she should return to earth” zeus says finally, hoping that your mother would shut up now that he gave his final word that was in her favor
“see i told you! she's coming back with me!” your mother said gleefully, and coriolanus just sighed, not willing to show how heartbroken he was at zeus’ decision
after all, you two had only been married a week and a few days and now you two were being torn apart, faster than either of you intended
you open your mouth to protest but coriolanus looks at you, and you shut your mouth, knowing that he'll figure out something
“if it's ok i'd like to have at least a few minutes with my wife in private before she's snatched away from me” coriolanus said, rising from his throne and making his way towards you
your mother opened her mouth to say no, but zeus gave coriolanus the green light and he took you to a secluded hallway where you just let all your tears out
you couldn't bear the thought of losing coryo, the only man who ever cared about you and was more importantly, your husband
“shh dove don't cry please” he said, taking out a handkerchief and wiping your eyes, kissing your forehead
“i have an idea of how you can stay here with me, ok?” he said, taking out a pomegranate and handing you a few of the seeds, six to be exact 
“for every seed you eat, that's a month that you have to spend in the underworld” he explained to you
“why can't i just eat all 12? that way we can be together forever?” you sniffled, looking at him with wide eyes
“oh dove…i wish but your mother would actually kill me, plus 6 is better than nothing right?” he said urging you to eat the seeds quickly before your mother started looking for you two
you obligated, eating them all at once and wiping the juice with your hand
coryo took that hand a kissed it, promising you that those six months would go by fast and in no time you would be back here with him for the rest of the year
you nodded and bid him your farewell, kissing him hard and promising that you would bring all the pretty flowers when you came back
as your mother collected you and you both ascended to earth, coriolanus waved, realizing his eyes misted over and he indeed was crying after all the decades 
once he returned to his room, ready to wallow in his pity, he noticed something growing on the shelf near some of your possessions 
it was odd because there was no life or growth in the underworld, but once he saw what it was he smiled through his tears, knowing that it was a gift from you, to remind him of you whenever he got sad or felt lonely
the gift was quite on brand for you, it being a flower growing in the underworld 
and it did remind him of you already, as the it was a little beacons of hope for him that he'd see you again after the long wait
but in the meantime…let the torture commence 
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imagopirateversion · 5 months
Text
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales; Why It Shouldn’t Exist
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Or how I invested time and energy into an analysis of a relatively dead franchise instead of doing it for my actual media analysis university course.
An essay by: a bitter and obsessed PotC fan since they were 7, with a lot of free time.
Lads, this is going to be long. You have been warned.
The Beginning
At the very beginning of the movie, we see a young Henry Turner looking for his dad.
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Now, we're not talking about characterization problems or how likely it is that a ten-year-old child would risk his life to look for a man he technically only saw once; we're talking about plot problems, actual logical fallacies. My questions are:
How? The Flying Dutchman is a legendary ship, impossible to be found unless She wants to be found. The only reason we see Her in Dead Man's Chest is because Davy Jones himself is looking for Jack to collect his debt, and in that occasion the Dutchman's captain wasn't even doing what he was supposed to do, so he was most definitely in the living world. Will otherwise, he's doing the job Calypso gave him, so he's constantly in between. Is the movie trying to convince me that a kid was able to do something no one in the history of piracy was ever able to do? And even if he did, why hasn't anyone explained me how? He simply looks at a map and throws himself on the bottom of the ocean. How did he know The Dutchman was there? How did he know it would've come to surface?
Where is his mom? We got to know Elizabeth in the first three movies; we know she's a smart woman and we can assume she's an attentive mother. She didn't notice her son preparing himself for a trip in the middle of the ocean to go look for his dad? Was she distracted? Was she outsmarted by a 10ish-year-old? Or is she just not contemplated in this scenario?
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Why does Will look like that? Will is doing his job, so... why does he look like he's slowly corrupting? That kind of corruption is the punishment Calypso reserves to The Dutchman's crew when the captain fails her, which isn't the case. Did they forget about it? Was the idea of putting algae on Orlando Bloom's face just impossible to resist to?
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Alright, this isn't actually from this movie but it's bothering me, so I have to write it; also, it would make this whole movie unnecessary, so it's somehow related to it. Why (and I can't stress this enough) can't Elizabeth be on the Dutchman? Why can't they do the job together? Is it because she's not a pirate? I'm pretty sure se actually is. Is it because she's a woman? Last time I checked she was the KING. She wants to stay with Will forever, Will wants to stay with her forever, they can literally live forever on the same ship. Why aren't they?
Whatever the Hell Happened to Jack Sparrow
Imagine creating a character that is so iconic whenever you ask a person who was a kid in the early 2000 to imagine a pirate, they imagine said character.
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Now imagine fourteen years pass and you decide to ruin that character by making him the most hideous, annoying, idiotic person in the whole saga, and we're talking about a saga that has Philip the Missionary in it. Why? Jack Sparrow is THE anti-hero. Never on the right side, but never on the wrong one. You can tell he's doing something morally questionable, but you still find yourself rooting for him. He's stupid enough to make you laugh, but he's secretly clever enough to always get away with it. Now he's just... drunk. And that's not even an excuse for this horrendous new characterization, because he was always drunk. The guy FORGOT HE WAS ROBBING A BANK, the same guy just one movie earlier was able to escape from the King of England's palace and steal a lady's earring (by pretending to be a literal slut) in the process. He just switched from the iconic drunk bi bestie everyone loves to my cringe uncle that drinks too much at Christmas parties and makes everyone uncomfortable. Please, if the risk is ruining an entire generation's beloved character, either don't make the movie or find a better explanation than "Bad luck dogs you day and night".
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The Pearl in The Bottle
So... what you're telling me is that Jack Sparrow, the guy who was able to defeat Hector Barbossa, Davy Jones and Blackbeard thanks to his slyness, and who loves his Black Pearl more than anything else in the world, had said ship in a bottle in his pockets for FIVE YEARS... and he never thought about breaking the bottle to free Her. That's what you're telling me. This is the pivotal point upon which the entire Jack's plot hinges. I... I don't even know what to say. Was this supposed to be funny?
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What an Incredibly Lucky Coincidence
A guy needs a treasure to save his father. To find it, he needs the help of a notorious and legendary pirate. He looks for him everywhere, sailing on dozens of ships just so he has the remote chance to stumble across the pirate. The last ship he's been on has sinked, he's the only survivor. He's been found in the middle of the ocean and someone brought him to the nearest city. Which city? I mean, the one that has both the pirate he was looking for and a lady who's the only person in the whole planet who's able to find the treasure he was looking for! And, oh my... he finds the both of them! In that same city! Without even LOOKING FOR THEM! A hell of a coincidence, if you ask me. Also known as lazy writing.
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What's Wrong With the Guards?
Now, I know Pirates of the Caribbean isn't exactly known for its accurate historical reconstructions, but why are the guards in this movie acting like they're some sort of hellhounds ready to kill anyone in sight? Even pirates and traitors as Jack and Henry were supposed to stand trial before being sentenced to death. It would've probably been an unjust and barbaric trial, but there should've been one. We literally saw it, in the previous movie. Why's Jack been sentenced to death for simply existing here? He gave pirate vibes and they decided that was enough?
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Paul McCartney
This is not an actual point of the analysis, I just wanted to remind people that Paul McCartney is in this movie and that's the only valid reason to watch it.
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Salazar
I am confused. Once again, I have questions.
El Matador Del Mar was so good at his job he had almost defeated piracy. "The last ones joined together to try and defeat me". The last what? Pirates? There were no pirates left? This happened when Jack was young, so a lot of time before the first movie, right? Where were, I don't know... Blackbeard? Davy Jones? Barbossa? All the other Pirate Lords? I might be wrong, but I guess Salazar didn't kill them, did he? Why weren't they there during that "last battle" in which "the last ones joined together"?
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The Devil's Triangle. I just don't understand what's the logic behind it. So, this is a cursed place. Whoever enters there, can't get out. One would think it means that if you get there, you die; and Salazar does die, but he somehow also becomes a ghost whose only purpose is to find Jack Sparrow and have his revenge. So, do people become ghosts when they get in The Devil's Triangle? We have to assume people have gotten stuck in there before; otherwise, there wouldn't be legends around the place. So why isn't it like full of spirits ready to haunt people? Why are Salazar and his crew the only ones?
Poseidon or Calypso?
What's the Trident of Poseidon? Does Poseidon exist? Isn't Calypso the Goddess of the sea? Breaking the Trident, you break all the curses of the sea, so the Trident must be more powerful than Calypso, which leads to a question. Where is she? She IS the sea, right? So she must have known someone was about to find the Trident and brake all curses, including her one. She just decided it was okay? It really feels like someone decided to suddenly change the world's mythology without giving explanations.
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The Compass
This is possibly the most blatant plot hole in the whole saga. Probably the most blatant plot hole I've ever witnessed, and man, I watched all the Harry Potter movies. In Dead Man's Chest, Jack meets Tia Dalma in her "shop" and he tells her he's looking for the Davy Jones' key. She asks him "The compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to this?", making another pivotal point of Dead Men Tell No Tales factually senseless.
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That man couldn't have given his compass to Jack, because that wasn't his compass.
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So either Salazar is lying while telling his tale or they forgot about that line in the second movie. Anyway, let's pretend that line doesn't exist; even if that captain gave Jack his compass in that exact moment, why would it be the key to free Salazar, exactly? How is the compass in any way related to The Devil's Triangle or to Salazar? In the movie, they try to explain it with a sentence: “if you betray it, your greatest fear comes true”. So, is Salazar Jack's greatest fear? I really doesn't seem right, Jack almost didn't remember Salazar when Henry mentioned him. To Jack, he's only a guy he outsmarted decades earlier. Also, Jack technically already gave the compass away, twice: to Elizabeth in Dead Man's Chest, to make her find the chest, and to Beckett in At World's End, when they're negotiating.
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That's... That's Just Body Shaming, Mate
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Let's talk about her. So, the woman's ugly. It can happen that a woman is ugly. Was it necessary to build an entire scene around some blatant body shaming? This scene wants to mimic the similar scene in Dead Man's Chest: Jack's on an island, running from the main villain, and he's forced to do things he doesn't want to do until someone saves him, then it was Will, now it's Hector.
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Except in Dead Man's Chest it was LITERAL CANNIBALISM he was facing, and yet he looked LESS TERRIFIED and DISGUSTED. What's exactly the message here? Lads, is marrying an ugly woman worse than cannibalism? I don't know... that was just bad.
Justice for Hector Barbossa
If you know me (you probably don't, but if you do) then you know about my obsession with Hector Barbossa. I truly believe he's the best written character in the saga, and he's in my top five of the characters I love the most in all media. I watched The Curse of the Black Pearl when I was seven and I am autistic, so I had all the time to develop a literal relationship with these characters in my head. As much as Geoffrey Rush's interpretation was impeccable, as always, it really hurt to watch Hector in this movie. He just doesn't sound like him. First of all, why isn't he on the Queen Anne's Revenge? Why's he letting someone else sail around on his ships? He would've never. Why's he just sitting on a throne and shooting musicians instead of, I don't know... being a pirate? Being a pirate is the only thing that matters to him. He says it at the end of On Stranger Tides, and he even says it in this movie, to the witch. "I'm a pirate. Always will be".
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So, why isn't he pirating? What happened to him? And what about the pact with the witch? He made her curse all his enemies; that's honestly the most out-of-character thing he could've done.
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Seriously, watch this movie, and then The Curse of the Black Pearl and tell me he sounds like he's the same character. Then there’s his death... was it necessary? And I don't mean if it was necessary to the plot (it wasn't), but the way he died, did it make sense? He takes the sword and sacrifices himself to kill Salazar, but WHY? Salazar was back a mortal. They could've brought him to surface and then shoot him. What was the point of his death, Disney? I will never forgive you.
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I would've preferred if they never showed him again. He's alive and living his best life in Tortuga, if you ask me.
How does Carina Smyth exist?
Let's do the math. Carina Smyth has approximately the same age as Henry Turner, who was born around nine moths after the end of At World's End. At the end of that movie, Barbossa once again stole the Black Pearl (he's iconic we stan a legend), so we have to assume it is during that time (between the At World's End and On Stranger Tides) that he conceives Carina. He stays with this woman during the whole pregnancy, bacause he says he was there when she died. So nine months, at least, right? Except; Jack makes it clear that he and Barbossa met Carina's mom, Margaret, together.
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When, exactly, did this happen? It can't be between On Stranger Tides and Dead Men Tell No Tales, because Hector himself says only five years passed between the two, and Carina doesn't look like a five-year-old;
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it can't be between At World's End and On Stranger Tides, because we know Jack and Barbossa weren't together, and Hector was too busy losing a leg and planning his revenge by working for the King of England; it can't be during At World's End, because Barbossa was too busy rescuing Jack and then slaying (literally and metaphorically) Beckett's men to save piracy; it can't be during Dead Man's Chest, because he was dead; it can't be during The Curse of the Black Pearl, nor during the ten years before it, because he was... he was a skeleton, I hardly believe he could reproduce, despite what’s written in some fanficions; it can't be before, of course, because Carina would be too old. The only chance, but it's a stretch, is that Hector and Jack met this Margaret Smyth years and years before, and that at a certain point (while he was still busy slaying, losing a leg or planning his revenge), for some reason he decided to come back to her and accidentally had a daughter. That would mean that Jack remembered Margaret Smyth's name DECADES after he met her.
The Post-Credit Scene: What?
WHY'S DAVY JONES BACK? The Trident technically broke all the curses of the sea. He is THE cursed man of the sea. AND HE'S DEAD. The only answer I was able to give me, is that the moment the Trident broke the curses, the curse that said if you stab his heart he dies was also broken, so he technically didn't die, but it makes even less sense, because if the curses just aren't real anymore, then a man shouldn't be able to... carve out his heart and put it in a chest, right? (Which by the way, makes Will Turner being alive senseless as well). Even if so, Davy should've come back as a human.
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My conclusion is that this movie should not exist, and we, as a community, should pretend it was never made. Hector is alive. Bye.
Imago
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pablitogavii · 9 months
Note
can you write about gavi being super depressed and is not taking care of himself and yn realizes it?
Hard times
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Ever since the injurty, Gavi completely changed... he was no longer the smily happy boy running around the field and making jokes with everyone.
His face was more grim every day, and he spoke less. As his girlfriend, you've noticed these changes recently and tried talking to him but one thing that always stays the same is how stubborn he is.
"I tried talking to him, but he just brushes it off" you explained to Aurora who came by with Belen to visit the two of you. Pablo didn't want to bother them and make them stay in Barcelona for long knowing they have their own jobs to go back to, and he had you by his side always.
"It's hard for him to go through this in the peak of his career, querida. Just be patient and he'll open up to you" Belen explained and you listened to the wiser older woman carefully. After all, she knew her son best.
"Maybe we can get him to see someone, if that might help?" Aurora suggested but we all knew how Pablo sees doctors. It will be like trying to convince a scared child to get a vaccine.
Pablo entered the room and we suddenly stopped talking greeting him with a smile.
"They brought your favorite fruits, cariño ..." you say and he shrugs his shoulders plopping down on the couch while you walked to the kitchen knowing it was the time for his medications.
"Does it still hurt you, hermano?" Aurora asked noticing the way he was massaging his leg when he raised it onto the bed.
"Yeah ... especially at night. But I didn't tell her anything, she worries too much you know" he explains looking towards you with a first smile he created in days.
"Maybe you should, she's scared that you're shutting out ..." Belen said and he sighed knowing that he really did become distant and cold recently ... everything just seemed to agitate him but he didn't want to take it out on you.
"Here, cariño your medicine" you came back and he groaned sick and tired of all the pills, physicals and scans ... he just wanted this nightmare to end.
"I'm gonna go to the bedroom, they make me sleepy" he said leaving quickly and you nodded sitting down quite sad.
"You sure you don't want to eat something?" you ask but he shakes his head.
"Not hungry ..." he said quickly and you nodded continuing to spend time with him family.
At night, you felt him shifting and turning constantly woken up and you turned to check what's wrong with him. His face said the whole story ... he was in pain.
"Amor, why didn't you wake me earlier? I can massage it for you if you'd like" you offer but he tossed the blankets off himself reaching for his crutches and standing up on his own.
"Just go to sleep. I'll be in the living room cause I'm more comfortable there" he said not giving you a chance to reply before leaving.
The bed was cold and foreign ... you were really missing him.
Next morning when it was time to take him to physical, you couldn't find him in the living room but then you heard him from the guest bathroom. You walked in and there he was sitting on the floor throwing up into the toilet.
"It's okay, amor ... let it out" you sat besides him grabbing a wet cold cloth and placing it on his forehead while he cried closing the toiled at falling into your arms.
"I'm useless ... I can't even walk let alone play on that level again" he was wheezing from tears and you played his his hair letting him talk to you.
"Listen to me, cariño ... these are extremely hard times, but we're in it together. You need to start taking care of yourself if you want to recover fully, and you need to start talking to me about it. " you spoke and he listened like a scared child.
"I need you to start eating again, the pills are strong and that makes you sick. When it hurts, I need you to tell me so I can help. And when you need to cry, you do in on my shoulder okay?" you say and he nods sniffling while you kiss his forehead.
You helped him up towards the living room, preparing some warm soup to help his stomach pains before bringing the warming compress for his knee.
"I feel like a baby ..." he admits when you start feeding him soup and you smile nodding your head and kissing his lips a few times lovingly.
"You are my baby ... my stubborn baby. Now eat" you say and he finished the soup before you gave him medicine and checked on his physical appointment.
"It's not until four, so rest up ..." you tell him and he nods playing some random Barça Youth game on the screen before opening his arms towards you.
"Cuddles please?" he said adorably and your heart melted ... your boy was back!!!
"I thought you'd never ask again" you smile laying in his arms careful to keep his leg comfortable and he kissed the top of your head taking in your familiar scent.
"Did you sleep at all last night amor?" he said and you shook your head.
"I know you can't sleep without me besides you ...rest preciosa, I'll be right here" he whispered into your ear and you blushed nodding your head and slowly closing your eyes feeling secure in his strong embraces.
I really hope he's taking care of himself 🥺🥺🥺
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cheesemoth · 6 months
Text
A WEDDING MADE OF STRAWS
Part 1 | Part 2
Fandom
Criminal Minds
Summary
Your relationship with Spencer, your husband, seems to be deteriorating after seven years together and four years of marriage. You've tried to talk to him about it, to find out if you've done something wrong, but all you get is an avoidance or the poor excuse "I don't have time". Finally, you've had enough.
Genre
Hurt/Open Ending
Pairing
Spencer Reid/Female Reader
Spencer isn't feeling well.
His head hurts, constantly, and lately, his job seems to weigh even more heavily on his shoulders. He knows it's partly due to his worry about schizophrenia, especially since the migraines he thought he had left behind are back.
He tries to distract himself, not to let his thoughts invade his daily life with you and his professional life, but it's a difficult fight. He so wants to talk to you about all this, but the idea of burdening you with his problems makes him wince. You're already worried enough for him, with all the time his job takes; he doesn't want to add to your worries.
So, naturally, Spencer turns to his best friend at work, JJ. She understands him better than anyone, without a word being said, and her presence is like a sanctuary in the face of his torments.
He is aware that this isn't fair to you, but he finds it unbearable to share what eats at him, to pollute your environment with his problems and anxiety.
"You should really talk to her, Spence," JJ says for the umpteenth time, after Spencer shared his discomfort that had intensified earlier, amplified by your disappointed tone after he announced he would spend the night at a friend's.
Spencer immediately shakes his head. "I can't —"
"I think your wife is wise enough to decide for herself," JJ retorts, a tad more sharply.
Spencer lowers his eyes, stung. Of course, he would never question your intelligence or your independence. He is also convinced that you do not grasp the full extent of what a possible diagnosis of schizophrenia could imply for him. What he would be imposing on you, if it were to develop. He bites his lip, sighing heavily as he runs his fingers through his hair.
Seeing the state Spencer is in, with his pronounced dark circles despite the comfort of the guest room bed, and his shoulders tense, JJ softens her tone.
"Just... think about it, okay? She loves you, otherwise you wouldn't be together."
Spencer finds nothing to reply and settles for a non-committal hum. These words don't reassure him as much as they should. That night, he doesn't find sleep easily, just like the previous nights.
...
...
It's been almost a week since Spencer hasn't returned to the apartment, to you. A case hit him particularly hard, and he hasn't been able to suppress these harmful emotions as he usually does.
He doesn't want you to see him like this. It's so pitiable. He wants to text you, even call you just to hear your voice, but he knows he would end up cracking, likely in tears, like a child seeking comfort from his mother.
Spencer is supposed to be strong, to be an exceptional husband for an exceptional wife; and lately, he feels incapable of being either. While keeping his distance is probably not the best solution, until he can get his life back in order and control his feelings, it will have to suffice.
You'll understand — you always do, in the end.
It was a mistake. A terrible mistake, because when he returns to the apartment, which smells of dust and exudes solitude, his heart sinks when his call remains unanswered and the silence persists.
"Honey?" His voice breaks terribly as he enters your bedroom to find the bed made, and your side of the bed devoid of your extra fluffy pillow and your small heavy, soft blanket. "Love, this isn't funny —"
Spencer's words die in his throat as he discovers the small pile of seemingly innocuous papers on the counter, topped with a simple pen. He knows what it is without even having to read, but that doesn't mean he accepts the situation immediately. He frowns, opening and closing his mouth as his trembling fingers touch the first page.
Spencer's eyes burn as an overwhelming emotion weaves through his bones.
"No," he murmurs, finally finding the courage to read the words inked on the page, his lower lip trembling and his breath hitching. "No, it's not supposed to be like this," Spencer articulates, shaking his head.
He fumbles feverishly in his pants pocket, and the only reason he manages to dial your number despite the tears blurring his vision is sheer habit. It's only when the dial tone sounds in his ear that he lets out a curse through clenched teeth and a deep sob shakes his entire body.
He tries again, and again, until...
Until his number is blocked, and that's when Spencer Reid fully realizes how much he's ruined the best thing that ever happened to him. All because he was afraid of his own mind.
...
...
JJ doesn't utter any reproachful words when Spencer shows up with his face marked by tears and his eyes reddened. He doesn't need to hear her thoughts to know she's thinking, "I told you so." And he can't even be mad about it.
"What do I do now?" Spencer asks miserably, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, his shoulders slumped. He doesn't want to divorce; he doesn't want to give up on the love of his life.
JJ doesn't know what to say, and Spencer doesn't even know what answer he's looking for. He has to pursue you, find you and hope he can explain himself, even if he doesn't deserve it, doesn't deserve your forgiveness for the way he's made you feel these past times.
Spencer surely chose the worst time to be selfish. But at this moment, he doesn't have the strength to care. All he wants is to belong to you again.
It takes several days for Spencer to find the courage to see you again. Of course, he knows where you are. He knows you by heart, after all.
...
...
When Spencer finally makes the decision to confront the situation, his heart is heavy but determined. The days apart have been excruciating, each moment filled with regret and longing. 
He's rehearsed what he wants to say a thousand times over, but now, standing at the threshold of possibly the most important conversation of his life, words seem to fail him.
The journey to you is a blur, his mind consumed with thoughts of how to mend what's been broken. He knows apologies are not enough, but they're a start. Spencer understands the magnitude of his mistake, the pain he's caused by shutting you out when he needed you the most. He's ready to open up, to share his fears and his struggles, hoping it's not too late to salvage the love you share.
As he arrives, his heart pounds with a mix of fear and hope. The anticipation of seeing you again, of possibly hearing your voice, fills him with a nervous energy he hasn't felt in a long time. Spencer knows the conversation ahead will be difficult, that there's a lot to work through, but he's committed to doing whatever it takes. He wants to prove that he can be the partner you deserve, that he can face his demons with you by his side.
Taking a deep breath, Spencer steps forward, ready to face whatever comes with honesty and love. He knows the path to reconciliation won't be easy, but he's hopeful. Hopeful that your shared history, the love and the memories you've built together, will be enough to overcome this challenge.
As he knocks on the door, waiting for an answer, Spencer rehearses his opening lines in his mind. "I'm sorry," will be his starting point, followed by the truth about his fears, his condition, and his deep-seated fear of burdening you.
But more than anything, he wants to convey his unwavering love for you, his desire to fight for your relationship, and his hope for a future together, despite the shadows that have crept into his life.
The door opens, and there you are.
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darling--angst · 1 year
Note
i’d like to request space song with dazai (specifically pm!dazai) hurt/comfort scenario,, reader comforting dazai during a breakdown or smth :(
Space Song
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Pairing: Pm! Dazai x Fem! Reader(platonic)/Mori x 27! Reader
Type: Oneshot
Genre: Comfort/Fluff
Warnings: Long winded commas, Stormbringer spoilers/mentions, Dark Era mentions, Oda's death, mentions of war, mentions of Yosano's backstory, Mori being a bitch, slight yandere Mori mentions, kinda went off topic..
Synopsis: Dazai finally found someone who saw him for who he was and when his dearest friend died, he finds himself finding comfort in her embrace like a child being comforted by his mother.
A/n: Hey.. Please state if you want it to be romantic/platonic.. since you didn't say which one you want, I'll do the latter. Reader is implied to be 27 while Mori is 33. Reader is like a mother to Dazai. I kinda wrote this without thinking so I am so sorry.
Event // Pm. Masterlist // M.Masterlist
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Dazai Osamu is the feared Demon Prodigy, the youngest underboss in the history of Port Mafia, the boss' right hand man, a genius; but deep down he was a child. A child misguided to do the wrong deeds, a lonely child used as a tool by others, a child who got affiliated with a mafioso at the age of fourteen, after an attempt in suicide. He was suicidal, a child at his age should be thinking of academics instead of how to end a war with another organization with the least casualties for his own gain. He could not see the purpose in living. Nobody saw him for who he was, it was never Osamu Dazai. Everything changed when he was fifteen, he met someone who gave him a reason to live for, someone who didn't judge him.
"sir, the boss has called you to his office" A black car stopped just beside of where he stood in the street.
"A mailman huh. I guess it really is important for Mori-san" he sighed, entering the back door of the car. It has almost been a year after Mori made him his 'witness' and succeeded as the Port Mafia boss.
The drive was silent, nobody said a word. The mailman was focused on driving and Dazai was looking out the window, observing people and their daily activities.
"We're here" The mailman said before the car stopped.
"mhm" He muttered opening and closing the door shut, and he drove away.
He was very familiar with the building. The five building-like-towers in the heart of Yokohama, the middle one being the tallest of all; where the Port Mafia boss, Mori Ogai lies. He reaches the highest floor and was eventually greeted by the guards, as he arrived he saw the boss and an unfamiliar woman sitting on the boss' desk, reading a document.
"Boss" He cleared his voice making his presence clear as the both of them talked.
"ah.. Dazai-kun" Mori shifted his attention from the woman to him.
"Sit down please" He offered while Dazai walked over to the small chair in the middle of the room. Mori made his his way towards another chair and sat down across him. She took documents on top of the desk after grabbing a brown, vintage briefcase. Making her way towards the door, Mori began explaining to Dazai. The only sound that feel the room was her heels clacking to the tiled floor until Mori finally spoke up.
"As you know Dazai-kun, the previous boss has returned.. based on the information you acquired from investigating Subarachi(?) city, it may have a lead on this 'Arahibaki' and by coincidence it seems that the Sheep King is looking for the so called God of Destruction" He explained.
"and?" He replied, clearly uninterested.
"He's suggesting that you work with Nakahara Chūya, if possible make him join the Mafia" She walked passed them, handing Dazai the documents she read earlier.
"Mhm, and you are?" Dazai asked before reading the documents. She continued to walk towards the door before Mori stopped her by ordering the guards from behind the door.
"Stay. (name)-sama" He smiled while she stopped in her tracks after hearing a pair of guards ruffle through the door.
"Haii.. what do you want now?" She let out a long, exasperated sigh. Ignoring her question, he explained to Dazai who she was.
"Dazai-kun, this is (name)-sama. She was strategist from the Great War" Sighing, she flopped down on a spare chair after he continued to explain about her to the young boy.
"So she knows about you killing the previous boss then?" He asked before glancing at her then to him.
"Yes. Now let's discuss this whole thing and why am I part of this?" She sat up, sending a glare at Mori.
"It was just as I explained earlier. The previous boss returned, Dazai-kun saw him personally so now that we have the Sheep King in our capture, we'll use that to our advantage by making him join the mafia." He gave both of them a closed-eye smile, Dazai put down the document and she gave him an annoyed look.
"That won't work" Both of them sighed in unison.
"Hm?"
"Chūya is too loyal to the Sheep. It's already given after all if he didn't, he would've left them to die long ago. After realizing his own potential, he would join an organization with a high pay; if he didn't have deep ties with them..—" She explained, sitting back down while Dazai listened to her.
"The only reason for him to join us for the Sheep's safety" He followed after hearing her explain.
"—It's not guaranteed he'll be loyal. If he joins the organization for their safety alone, there's a high chance he will destroy the mafia from the inside and save his little herd"
"Wait are you suggesting-?" Dazai's eyes widened realizing what she means.
"Yes.. We have to make them suspicious of him. If they notice they have been too dependent on him, they'll do any means to overthrow him and that's where we go in." She moved the white bishop on the chess board creating an opening for the rook, and continuing the abandoned game.
"After their betrayal, the Mafia comes in and will pretend to wipe out the Sheep. Chūya, after being betrayed will stay to protect them; so he will do a bargain to save them" Dazai moved the black knight, eating the bishop and now he was in advantage in terms of pieces.
"He'll then join the mafia in terms of the bargain" She then proceeded to move her rook from across the board, blocking the king's only path to escape, almost delivering a checkmate until Dazai's queen ate it to make the game a bit longer, but not to escape the inevitable fate.
"however-" Mori sighed but was cut off by her.
"since the main priority is to make sure the previous boss doesn't return so his supporters won't start a revolution.. you have to fix that first or else you'll get tortured, then executed" She glances at Mori before moving her rook to eat Dazai's queen, delivering a back-rank checkmate. Mori was in awe after watching his protegee and ex-lover play chess in sync, as if they were reading each other's minds.
"But won't you get executed too, (name)-san? I mean you knew of how the boss'really died, yet you didn't say anything.. making you, another accomplice" Dazai leaned into his chair, analyzing how he lost.
"I'm not part of the Mafia—" She nonchalantly responded.
"Yet." Mori's voice was full of demands.
"..tch. As I said, no." She stood up from her chair, giving Dazai a small smile before turning back to the door.
"Why?" This time he was more pushy for some reason.
"It's none of your business" She hissed before opening the door and leaving.
"Well isn't she beautiful.." He muttered under his breath while Dazai sat there with a fed up look on his face.
That was their first encounter. The second one was after both of them planned a strategy to defeat Verlaine. Even if Dazai didn't have any encounters with her that didn't involve work, he grew close to her. During their plannings, he was childish but she didn't mind. He felt comfortable with her, as if he could actually show his true self. She didn't try to exploit his intelligence, as she has one of her own, she tried to understand his view of the world, she sees through his emotions but she never used it to take advantage of him.
When she joined the mafia, her position was a strategist, even if she didn't engage in missions, she was valued by the Mafia because she was the one to pull the strings and by she was liked Mori personally. He had an interest in her that Dazai seemed to distinguish as love, one that he thought Mori was not capable off. All those who tried to assassinate her failed, because of Mori's interference and his predictions. Dazai didn't want her to die, not because of how important she was in the organization but because of his own personal reasons. He then became an executive at eighteen and met quite a few people, Sakunosuke Oda and Sakaguchi Ango, whom he calls his friends. Dazai finds himself looking for her again and again, wanting to see her, because of him, Oda, Ango and her became acquainted..
Oda and (name) was on a small talking about the orphans until Ango interrupted.
"I feel like I'm quite the third wheel here you know?"
"My, my.. I never knew you were sad that you were left out Ango-kun" She teased.
"Tch. I never knew you liked kids (name)-san" He tried to switch the topic.
"I feel neutral about them—I don't dislike them nor do I like them... I once met a child in the war, she was there as a nurse since her ability allowed her to heal soldiers... such a precious child—if I remember correctly, her name was Yosano" She faintly smiled at the memory.
"You took part in the war.?" Oda fiddled with his fingers.
"Mhm.. as a strategist..." She responded. Both of them stopped in their tracks before she turned around to face them.
"If she was in the healing section and you were a strategist, how did you meet her?" Ango asked, she halted and her eyes widened a bit before laying her head low.
"My ex-lover was a doctor, he was in charge of the nurses in the war including her. I ended our relationship because of how he treated that little girl and some other reasons... in the end, she was left traumatized.. I don't know what happened to her after it was over" She quietly muttered, remembering the bitter memories of the war.
"I see.. I'm sorry for asking-" He tried to apologize but was cut off but a faint voice screaming her name.
"Y/n-san!"
" hmm.? Dazai-" before she could say anything else, his body crashed with hers as he hugged her.
"I'm quite hurt that you didn't invite me you know!" He pouted before looking at both of them.
"Anyway! Why did you three look so glum-" He tried asking but he was cut off by his phone ringing.
"Oh. It's him. Oii slug what do you want?"
"What do you mean what do I want!? You suicidal waste of bandages! We have a mission remember?!" Chūya screamed through his phone while Dazai listened with a nonchalant expression.
"Yea, yea"
"YOU'RE PROBABLY WITH THAT STUPID STRATEGIST AND YOUR EQUALLY STUPID FRIENDS!" He insulted him while Dazai was quite taken aback. He gasped before he returned the screams.
"OI YOU SLUG! YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST JEALOUS THAT I HAVE FRIENDS AND A MOTHER FIGURE!!!" All of you were quite shocked but Dazai didn't even realize what he was saying.
"I DO HAVE FRIENDS! AND I HAVE ANE-SAN!"
"NO YOU DO NOT! YOU MAY HAVE A MOTHER FIGURE BUT ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE KILLED BY YOUR HOELESS BROTHER!" He screamed, ending the call before Chūya could repriocate what he said and kill him.
"sorry about that, slug was being extra annoying" he smiled but all of them were still processing what he said earlier
"Dazai.. do you see me as a mother figure.?" She asked, coughing. Her words didn't seem to process in his mind for a second or two.
"Of course not! I only said that to piss him off!" He tried explaining, even though his lie was clearly visible; she didn't bother to inquire any further, not wanting to be nosy.
"Now let's go drink I'm thirsty!" Dazai exclaimed, heading to Lupin while they followed.
That was the last time all of them drank. She was sent away because of an organization called the Mimic appeared, Mori kept her busy for a reason she couldn't hold a grasp on. Soon, Ango betrayed the mafia and Oda died. The reason why Mori kept her busy was so she cannot interfere and warn Dazai, now the Port Mafia has a special abilities permit with the cost of everything that mattered to Dazai. She only found out the last minute, and she hates that she can't do anything about it.
After hearing Oda's last words he was about to leave the abandoned mansion until he met her running. She saw Dazai, standing infront of the ballroom door with his head hung low; when she reached him, he collapsed to the floor into her arms. His head was on the crook of her neck, and her arms was around him, hugging him, slowly patting his head as he struggled to breath.
"Shh... It's okay I'm here" Her voice trembled knowing that the kids along with Oda are dead but she could only focus on the poor child in her arms.
"He's dead... Mori-san used the Mimic to get that black envelope and he-" He explained between hiccups.
"I know" She whispered but her voice cracked.
"What did Oda say.?" She patted his back trying to comfort him but his grip tightened on her.
"He wanted me to save people.. to find a value in life" He bit his lip.
"Then go.." She continued to comfort him but he left her embrace upon hearing her words.
"What.?"
"Don't worry about me.. one day you'll find your reason in living, and you would be happy that you listened to him" She smiled at him as he slowly got up.
"Then how about you?" He tried with every bit of strength he could find to convince her to go with him. She got up too, now facing him directly in the eyes she said:
"You're still young, you would be leaving an environment you are never supposed to be in. And I.. My soul is already bounded to the mafia, if I leave with you he'd do what it takes to get me back"
"But still I-"
"Mafiosos will be here soon... Go to Chief Taneda of the Special Division of the Unusual Powers in a small cheep bar, he'll help you. Don't hesitate to turn your back, go" She quickly explained grabbing him by the shoulders with a tenses expression. His lips parted but he didn't know what to say.
"Just go, I'll meet you again" She gave him a reassuring smiled. Upon seeing her eyes, he nodded.
"Thank you.." He quietly muttered before finally leaving.
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A/n: Damn that was hard and cringe.. just so you know I kinda got distracted by music while doing this I apologize... For the person who requested this you can go to the comment section and say if you want me to redo it because I'll gladly do so :)
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ellabehavior · 1 year
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Matilda ~ JJ Maybank ✯
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Summary: You’ve grown up not being able to show much affection because of your family, but JJ knows just how to heal your wounds.
Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Mention of abuse, a lil suggestive content
A/N: hope y’all enjoy! request r open!
-
You've always been rather cautious about accepting hugs from people. Even as a young child, you might have hesitantly accepted a hug or just stood there not really knowing what to do. Likewise, expressing your love has always been difficult for you because it’s not something you would do very often inside your house hold.
Your parents never really said the words ‘I love you’. Sure, they’d sometimes give words of affirmation once in every blue moon, or they might hug you on special occasions but you never really got the feeling of true family love.
As a kid you would always watch family movies, or look at your friends parents and wonder ‘why are they so nice?’ or ‘how come they rarely argue?’
That is when you started realizing this behavior is not normal.
But once you and JJ started dating, things started to change; your displays of affection began to get stronger and more obvious.
He showed you how to love.
Your dreams, your kisses, your hearts, and your love for each other were all shared by the two of you.
You and JJ both know every last detail about one another. You were able to wipe away every tear that came from JJ's memories with kisses since you were aware of JJ's father and his early years. This may be why you two matched so well.
However, your family? You preferred not to bring it up. Naturally, your partner was aware of the awful ways in which your parents treated you, but you would never go into detail because doing so would trigger unpleasant memories.
That is until one sleepless night you couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“Jay” you whispered through your tears trying to wake him up out of his sleep.
“Baby?” He rubbed his eyes and seen the tears pouring down your face “Baby no, come here.” He said with a pout and pulled you in.
“JJ I had a dream about my parents and it brought back everything, and my mom was telling me about how I didn’t deserve you and-”
JJ then placed a soft kiss on your lips to calm you down.
“Calm down baby, i’m right here for you. I’ll be here all night. It was just a dream, i’m forever yours I promise.” He says in a soothing voice while rubbing your back hoping it’ll calm you even a little bit.
Since your mother called you on the phone two days earlier, he was aware that something was wrong. You’ve have been so silent since that phone call, he was skeptical about what was said, but he decided to not push it unless you were ready to tell him.
After a few minutes of crying and back rubs you’ve finally chilled out enough to tell him what was going on.
“When my mother called me two days ago, I thought it would be good and we could just catch up. I thought she'd be happy of me for where I've gone in life, but all she did was yell and tell me how she wishes I were different. I've been having dreams ever since, and I can't handle it any more.” At the end of your sentence, your voice begins to tremble, indicating another sob.
JJ immediately notices this and pulls you in tighter.
“Baby, please don’t ever believe those words. I fell in love with you for who you are, your the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Everything about you is perfect to me, the way you giggle, the way you snore, and even when you upset me I can’t find a single flaw about you.” He says with his hands on both sides of your cheeks.
“I don’t deserve to be loved by someone like you.” you whisper
“Don’t even say that.” JJ says in a serious tone with tears starting to form in his eyes. “I wouldn’t even be able to think without you, much less live without you.”
The look in his eyes was very serious. You were his oxygen, he never wanted to hear something like that from you. Without you, he wouldn't be able to breathe.
JJ finally broke the built up tension and pressed your lips together. Minutes upon minutes of the need to be closer to eachother.
You depended the kiss and pushed JJ back so you were on top of him.
“Jay” you said staring into his eyes while unbuttoning his pants.
He softly pushed you off and buttoned his pants back up. “Not tonight baby, I want to show you my love in a different way.” he breathed out
“Okay.” you said while he laid down and pushed you against him.
That night all you guys did was share little pecks, talk about stupid things, and hold onto eachother tight.
This was it, this is what you’ve been searching for since you were 7. This is what your parents swore would never happen to you, This is true unconditional love.
“I love you J”
“I love you more.”
-
‘I can't be who you
want me to be if who that is isn't who I am.
To love me is to accept me.’
- Baggage Reclaim
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redlittlefoxari · 9 months
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Astarion Epilogue An Adventure in Making Life: Chapter Nine: Secrets Don’t Make Friends
Relationship: Astarion X Tav
Warnings: NSFW 18+, smut, blood, violence, sex, blood drinking, pregnancy.
Summary: Karlach barges in on Tav while she's about ready to come down for dinner. Spotting a Fully naked, and pregnant Tav.
Master List
People who wished to be tagged: @ofmyth-andmagicart @lunaredgrave
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12 weeks pregnant
Karlach’s eyes moved from your small baby bump to your face and back to the bump. There were so many emotions on her face, warring for control, the most prominent ones being hurt, confusion, anger, and happiness. They all tore across her face, and seeing her in this state broke your heart.
“What the fuck is going on.” Karlach walked further into the room, raising her voice as she did. “I thought you said that it was hard for elves to get pregnant? All that on the road earlier, and here you are, Pregnant.”
You quickly picked up a towel to cover yourself. “Keep it down.” You hushed her. “I know this looks bad, but let me explain.”
“Keep it down? Keep it down!?” You hushed her again. “You better get to explaining why didn’t you tell us? Does Astarion even know?”
“Oh, he knows…” You walked over to the bed where your clothes were laid out and sat down.
“So what, the two of you decided to have a child and found a sperm donor or something?” She waited for you to reply.
“No, it’s his child one hundred percent. Long story short, if a vampire has had enough blood and is sated, they can produce children.” You placed your hand on your stomach. “And if everything alines with elves, we can produce children, so one night about twelve weeks ago, Astarion had enough blood, and an elven soul was looking to be reincarnated. So now I am pregnant with a half-vampire baby.”
Karlach’s jaw hung open in surprise. “So why didn’t you tell us? That's amazing; we should be celebrating!”
Karlach closed the distance between the two of you, taking a seat on the bed next to you. She was a good foot and a half taller than you, so her tower form loomed over you a bit as she waited to hear why you and Astarion felt the need to keep this from them.
“I was scared.” You looked down at the floor. “Elven pregnancies are already high risk. and you mix that was a Vampire where we don’t have a whole lot of information… I don’t know.”
“But you're okay now… aren’t you? You’re so far along now; wouldn’t it be okay to tell us.” Her voice was low, an attribute that you didn’t see often in her.
“I don’t know. I’m still scared something could go wrong.” You could feel tears in your eyes starting to form. “What if I tell you all, Put it out into the universe, and something bad happens… what if I lose them and have to tell you all that they're gone…. I have to go through the loss of telling you over and over again.”
There it was, the fear that you kept to yourself. Not even Astarion knew why you were so adamant about keeping it a secret till you hit fourteen weeks. You just kept telling him you didn’t want to overshadow Gale’s celebration, but the truth was you feared that once you celebrated with friends, some cruel god would take the baby away from you.
You remember stories your mother had told you growing up that she herself had suffered three miscarriages until she finally conceived you. She had kept you secret until she couldn’t anymore, and that was well into her second trimester. It was just something that elves feared since it was a rare gift to have children, and most elves never got the chance to experience it. With the added factor of the baby being Astarion’s, your fears skyrocketed.
“Hey.” Karlach placed her hand on yours; it was warm, whereas yours was cold, the water on your skin making it hard to get warm.
You looked up at Karlach, her smile reaching her eyes, which also had tears in them.
“If any god even thinks of doing that, I’ll go to whatever plane they're on and kill them myself.” You let out a small laugh at her declaration. “I get why you did it… Gods, so when that arrow hit you… the two of your reactions make sense now.”
“We were terrified that we lost them…” The thought sent a jolt of fear to your heart. “I don’t know what I would have done if Astarion didn’t hear the heartbeat.”
“The little guy has a heartbeat…” Karlach stared at you in wonder. “Gods, that’s amazing…. You're amazing. May I?”
She gestured to your stomach, and you nodded. Her warm hand slipped beneath the towel to touch the swell of your bare belly. She wouldn’t feel anything, nor would Karlach be able to hear the heartbeat, but it felt nice having her be a part of the secret and her support. It also didn’t hurt that you were freezing, and she was nice and warm.
“You won’t be able to feel them kicking for a while, not till the third trimester.” You smiled at Karlach’s wonder.
“I just can’t believe that there is a child growing in there. What do you suppose it’s going to be? Boy or Girl?”
“I’m not sure. There is no way to tell short of asking a divination wizard, but I don’t want to know… I like to be surprised.” The thought of a boy scared you, though. You knew nothing about being a boy, and the idea of Astarion teaching them all his ways of being mischievous was scary.
“They are going to be beautiful judging by who their parents are.” Karlach pulled her hand away. “I understand why you kept this a secret, but why not tell us now? We’ll all help you keep this little one safe. Auntie K will be its number one bodyguard.” Karlach puffed out her chest.
“You are right, I suppose I should let you all in on the secret now since you know.” You reached for the white dress that would show off your bump and hesitated.
“I know you’re scared, but you got this. Astarion would never let anything happen to you or the baby.”
“I know. I just don’t want to mess anything up… He hasn’t really had a family. At least not one that he remembers.” You grab the fabric and bunch it up on your lap. “He doesn’t remember his mother and father. the family Cazador made was not even close to something that resembled a family; he just beat them and used them as slaves.” The thought burned white hot in your mind as you thought about everything that monster put him through.
“But now he has you.” Karlach’s voice was comforting. “And the baby.”
“And if something happens and I lose the baby, It’s like I’m taking another thing away from him.”
“You wouldn’t be taking anything away from me.” Astarion said in a quiet tone.
The two of you jumped as you turned to see Asatrion at the door, leaning on the door frame. He pushed off of the frame using his shoulder and entered the room, stopping just a few feet from where you and Karlach were seated on the bed.
“Karlach, would you give me and my fiancee some privacy? I need to remind her of something important.” His eyes never left yours as he spoke.
“Fiancee?” She looked at you.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that part too… sorry.” You didn’t look away from Astarion.
“We’ll you told me most of it.” She stood up and walked past Asatrion, reaching the door and pausing. “I won’t tell anyone… that’s for you to decide when and where you want to do so.”
She shot you one last smile and walked out, closing the door behind her as she did. The two of you stared at each other for several moments. You spoke first, not wanting to be in silence any longer.
“Were you listening the whole time?”
“Yes, When I noticed Karlach was gone, I hurried up her to get her before she got to you, but I was a few minutes too late.” He took a seat next to you. “Now, what is this about you keeping the baby a secret because you don’t want to take another family away from me?”
“It’s more than just that. So many things can go wrong, and if they do, I’ll be responsible for taking another family from you.” You spoke, and Astarion laughed. “How's that funny?”
“Because that is a silly thing to think and say, my love.” He cupped your face with his hands. “Karlach was right. I would not let that happen.”
“You can’t know that We attract bad. luck everywhere we go, pretty much. You’ve already lost so much of the family before you were a Vampire… the one when you were.”
“That one wasn’t a family. Cazador made us to be his slaves to make a small man feel big.” He scoffed. “The rats and bugs that often crawled around me were more family than he ever was. As for my family, before I was a vampire, I don’t remember them, so I have no comment on how they treated me.” He kissed your lips gently. “You and our child growing inside of you are my family, and there is nothing anyone will do to take that away from me. I would rip whoever apart if they tried.”
“So you think we should just tell everyone?”
“I think it is time to stop being so scared, darling, and start living; you are not your mother and are far past the point of losing this child. For gods sake, you got shot in the stomach, and our child shrugged it off like it was nothing. They are far stronger than you give them credit for.”
His statement makes you laugh. “You are right; they are. Just like their father.”
“Don’t forget their mother, too. How many arrows have I pulled out of you these past fifty years? Probably hundreds. The sacred tissue alone was probably enough to keep our child safe.” The two of you laughed lightly.
“What if we lose them?”
“Darling, it was a miracle that we conceived this baby, to begin with, so there must be a god out there that wants us to grace this realm with our beautiful child.” He kissed between your brows.
“I didn’t think of that…” You were beginning to feel foolish. Pregnancy brain, along with the fears your mother placed in you all those years ago, probably didn’t help you think clearly. “Next time, just hit me over the head when I’m not thinking clearly. “
“Will do, but it’s not entirely your fault. The standard practice for elves to keep this sort of thing a secret is kinda hammered into you.” He stood up and walked over to his bag. “Now, if we announce that we are going to be parents, I want to be a little more dressed up than this.” He gestured to what he was wearing. A white flowy shirt and standard black pants he always wore.
Asatrion reached into his bag and pulled out a red embroidered top. Gold was sewn into the top in a pattern that looked like dragons fighting amongst fire. It was gody and over the top and something that screamed for others' attention.
“Do you have anything else?” You also stood, dropping the towel from around you, and stepped into the white dress you were holding.
“What’s wrong with this?” He looked offended.
“It makes you look less like soon-to-be father and more like douchy Vampire lord.” You turned towards him, doing a twirl. “Something subtle like this, maybe?”
“Fine, I’ll wear my dark blue doublet.” He put the gody monstrosity back and pulled out a blue doublet with gold stars sewn into the fabric. He put the doublet on and huffed at you. “Happy?”
“Very.” You wove your arm into his so that the crook of your elbow was touching his. “Now, let's go; our child is telling me it's time to eat, and we don’t want to keep them waiting.”
“Of course not, the others certainly, but not our child.” Asatrion said as he smiled down at you.
The dress put you on full display. Your once smaller breasts were accented by a low neckline that plunged down past the bottom of your breasts. The fabric was smooth over your belly and showed the bump of where your child sat in the safety of your stomach. And a long slit just the length of your dress where you could feel the coolness of the tower.
“I’m never wearing pants again.” You said, reveling in how you felt free and not constricted by any waistband.
“And I told you that I’m fine with that it makes it easier to have you whenever I would like; all I would need to do is bend you over and pull up your skirts.” Asatrion leaned down and bit your ear.
You shuddered. “I don’t think we have time to test that… Our baby needs substance.”
“Of course, But after we are fed, I’m going to eat you alive.” He growled his statement into your ear.
A wave of heat went through you. Astarion kindling your arousal. “We better eat fast than.”
You began moving to the dining hall. Each step becomes more complicated than the last. You fought with every fiber of your being to go towards the Dining hall wearing this dress. To tell your friends that secret that the two of you had been keeping all this time. The questions that they would surely ask. You stood at the door and hesitated.
“Are you ready?” Astarion looked at you, eyebrows raised.
“I will be once my heart stops beating so damn fast.” You took a few steading breaths and then nodded to him to open the door.
Astarion flung the door open wide, and you watched as everyone stopped their conversations to look at the two of you. From where everyone was sitting, they would not be able to see the bump that was protruding out from your dress. You watched as Karlach was practically buzzing next to Wyll in excitement. She really was trying her hardest not to let your secret out.
The two of you walked forward toward your friends slowly, fear still gripping your heart. Astarion reached with his other hand and patted your arm. “Everything will be fine.”
“What took the two of you so long?” Gale sounded annoyed as he stood from where he was sitting. “I thought when Karlach went up to get you, you would come down, but then she came down and has been acting like that every since.”
You looked towards her to find that she had a hand placed over her lips and looked like she was going to explode.
“I’m sorry, Gale, it’s my fault. I was having some personal issues I needed to work through.” You had reached the head of the table where your friends were sitting.
You unlaced your arm from Astarion’s and made it easier for everyone to see your baby bump. The whole table stared in shock as Astarion pulled out your chair so that you could sit down. You took your seat. and the table was still silent as Astarion also took his next to you.
Astarion looked around at everyone’s faces. “Well, go on, one of you say something. It’s almost as if you’ve never seen an elf pregnant with a Vampire’s child before.” Astarion grabbed a wine glass and took a long sip as the table erupted with questions.
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asdfghjklmals · 1 year
Text
WHEREVER YOU ARE✩༶‧˚
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GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff, angst. WORD COUNT: 3.6k words. TAGS: satoru gojo x fem!oc, established couple. adoptedkiddo! tsumiki.
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SYNOPSIS: tsumiki wants to study abroad for high school, but satoru gojo is against it. will satoru let tsumiki go? AUTHOR'S NOTE: ***manga spoilers*** because of what happened to tsumiki in the manga, i decided to write a more wholesome version of what i would think tsumiki would've wanted to do. she is going to make small appearances and still have her name mentioned in my future fics, but this is dedicated to her. and because i think satoru loved having her as his child 💚 REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!
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you sat down on the couch, “satoru, we need to talk.”
“i swear, babe, it wasn’t megumi’s fault.” he stared at you innocently with his hands raised.
“megumi?” you looked at him, brows furrowed and confused, “no, babe, we need to talk about tsumiki.”
satoru sighed in relief, glad he didn’t get himself in trouble. he didn’t want you to find out about megumi getting sent to the principal’s office for fighting at school today. that was another lecture for another day.
“what’s going on with my favorite child?” satoru joked, putting his arm around your shoulder.
you explained the situation to satoru, “now that tsumiki is graduating middle school, we had a grown adult talk about her future plans. she told me she wants to study abroad for high school. she wants to learn english so she can teach kids here in japan after she graduates.”
“absolutely not. she’s staying here.” satoru said without even thinking. no reasoning to support his decision.
“but babe, i think it’s a good idea. she’s 15 and starting high school next year. there are good study abroad programs out there. and it's great to live in country of the language you want to the learn.” you said, trying to justify tsumiki’s decision to satoru.
“no, (y/n).” he said sternly. since when did he ever directly call you by your first name instead of a petname? and since when did he want to play patriarch? you were usually the shot-caller in this household.
it was time for the back up plan if all else failed. kisses. you grabbed satoru’s hand and peppered it with your soft lips. “please? for me and tsumiki?”
he looked at you and took his hand away. you stared back at him in disbelief, “satoru gojo, what is your problem today?” even the government name didn’t make him flinch like it usually did.
he never acted like this, even when he disagreed with you, he was usually calm and rational. he would have data and reasons to back up his decisions, but not today.
“i just don’t think a 15 year old girl needs to go study abroad in another country without her guardians.” he said bitterly, “and that’s final.”
he removed his hand from your thigh and got up from the couch, leaving you alone in the living room as he made his way to the patio to join catoru in the sun. your jaw dropped. what was wrong with him today?
later that night: tsumiki's room
“(y/n), did you ask gojo-sensei if i can study abroad?” tsumiki asked curiously as you towel dried her long brown hair for her. she had spent the last week convincing you about letting her attend a private academy in california, and you were totally on board with it until satoru shot you down earlier today.
“i did… he wasn’t too happy to hear what i had to say though.” you frowned at her. she looked at you with sad eyes.
“what did he say?”
“he thinks that you’re too young to study abroad and that you should stay here in japan with us.”
“i’m not a baby, (y/n).” tsumiki said, “why can’t gojo-sensei see that i can take care of myself?”
you thought out loud, “maybe because you’re his little girl... his partner in crime. he doesn’t want to lose that. you know what a softie he is.”
“yeah, but it’s not like i'll be gone forever! i can come home for the semester breaks and i’ll always have my cell phone with me!”
“i know, sweetheart. coming from how i grew up, i think this would be a great experience for you.” you commented as you thought about how you wanted to attend jujutsu high instead of being homeschooled when you were tsumiki’s age. (read ‘love at first fight’ here)
tsumiki sighed in defeat, “can’t you give him a kiss or something? he never says no to you.”
“believe me, i tried.” you chuckled, “he pushed me away and said no.” you and tsumiki both knew satoru gojo's weaknesses.
“what?!” tsumiki gasped, “that man is so obsessed with you and he did what?!”
“i know, that’s the last time he’ll be getting any kisses from me.” you stated, sitting down on her bed.
“well, that’s just mean.” satoru interrupted your girls only conversation. his tall frame leaning against tsumiki's bedroom door, arms folded.
tsumiki smiled, “oh, hi gojo-sensei!”
“hi tsumiki.” satoru greeted her, sitting down on her bed next to you. tsumiki sat on the floor. “(y/n) says you have something you wanted to talk to me about.”
"oh... yes!" tsumiki nervously laughed, scratching the back of her head. "well, since i'm graduating middle school, i wanted to ask you and (y/n) if i can attend this boarding school in california. it's called e.f. academy."
"okay, if you're going to go this far away, you're going to have to convince me. so tell me more." satoru encouraged her.
"well..." tsumiki started to word vomit, "it's a private high school academy with small classes. they have a lot of extra curricular activities and travel opportunities. they'll prepare me for college. they have advisors that i can talk to if we need anything..."
"tsumiki, can't you do all of this here? why do you have to go so far away?" satoru asked. this was his way of being 'reasonable'. he was starting to ask questions so he could make the best decision.
tsumiki was smart and calculated, just as you and satoru raised her to be. she started her rebuttal, "you and (y/n) have always taught me and megumi that we are not going to grow if we don't step out of our comfort zone. you even told megumi to be greedier, so this is me being greedy."
satoru nodded his head, "okay. give me a week to think about it. don't bother (y/n) and don't ask her to give me kisses because that's unfair."
you smiled as you watched satoru and tsumiki talk. they were really a father-daughter duo, partners in crime, two peas in a pod. you missed the days where your 6 year old adopted daughter used to keep your 18 year old boyfriend in check.
"really? you'll really think about it?" tsumiki asked satoru with a hopeful gleam in her eye.
"yes. i promise." he answered.
tsumiki stuck out her pinky as satoru laughed. he intertwined his pinky with hers, both of them kissing their pinkies to seal the deal. (read 'pinky promises' here)
one week later: satoru's office
satoru knew that he only had one week to make a decision that would change his life and ultimately, tsumiki's life. megumi and you were all for tsumiki studying abroad, while he was the only one against it.
"she's the only one that doesn't have cursed energy. she can't see curses and she can't attend jujutsu high with us." megumi's comment ran through satoru's mind. it was true, being the only one who couldn't see curses or practice jujutsu in the family could feel alien. but tsumiki never expressed that she felt alone.
satoru sighed while he sat in his expensive office chair. he knew that he was going to have to give tsumiki an answer today. he still wanted to say no, but his heart knew the right decision was to say yes and let her be free to be her own person.
he heard a knock on his office door. the four signature knocks signaling it was you (or him). ten years later, that has never changed.
"gojo-sensei?" your saccharine voice called out for him as you opened his door.
he greeted you with a bright flashy smile, "i love it when you call me that."
you rolled your emerald green eyes at him as you made your way towards his desk, sitting against it. "did you make a decision yet?"
"i'm thinking about it." he mused.
"you know our baby girl is waiting for an answer. she's at cheer practice right now, so she should be home at 6 today." you commented.
"let me take one last walk and i promise i'll be home on time for dinner." satoru huffed. you leaned down to kiss him before heading back to your office. he grabbed your hand, stopping you.
"wait, can i get another kiss?" he requested with a shit-eating grin.
your radiant laugh filled his office. he peeked one of his shiny blue eyes out of his blindfold. you turned back around to grab his chin with your hand.
"see you at home." you whispered, kissing him again fervently.
***************************************
satoru decided to take the long way home instead of teleporting. he wanted the last couple hours to himself to think.
why was he so against tsumiki studying abroad? he thought about the conversation he had with you last night.
"i think you have abandonment issues, satoru. that's why you won't let tsumiki leave japan." you realized as he pulled you closer to him in bed, your gentle hand resting against his bare chest.
"hmmm. you think so?" he mumbled, pulling your chin up for a sweet peck on the lips.
"i know so."
abandonment. the first person who came to satoru's mind was suguru geto, his bestfriend. the original partner in crime. a person who he loved and cared about til' this day.
"losing suguru really changed you, babe. and that's okay. you've become a better man because of it." you said softly.
"i guess you're right." satoru acknowledged. he sighed deeply and closed his eyes. he felt your delicate breathing against his skin as he fell asleep.
it was true, what you had said. satoru didn't want to be left behind again. even though he knew that tsumiki wasn't actually leaving him behind, he didn't like the fact that another person he loved and cared about wasn't going to always be present in his life.
he knew that if he kept her here, she would just grow up pushing him away or maybe even resenting him. and he couldn't have that. he knew what he had to do. he was going to let tsumiki go.
later that night: family dinner
"so... did you make a decision, gojo-sensei?" tsumiki interjected at dinner.
yours and megumi's green eyes met at the dinner table. the ball was in satoru's court now.
"i did, sweetheart." satoru said calmly. you and megumi extremely curious, tsumiki's heart beating quickly.
"you can go."
"really?!" tsumiki jumped out of her chair.
"really." satoru confirmed.
tsumiki cheered and squealed in delight. running to hug satoru. she ran to her room and grabbed her acceptance letter to show the white haired sorcerer.
"you already have an acceptance letter?" megumi questioned his sister.
"they have a 99% acceptance rate, so it doesn't matter. but i wanted to show gojo-sensei anyways." she beamed.
"i guess they just let anyone into that school." megumi muttered. you kicked him under the table as he shot a glare black at you.
"when is the first day?" satoru asked you and tsumiki.
you answered, "classes start in two weeks. i already bought our plane tickets and made sure our passports were good to go, tsumiki has her student visa ready as well."
"you already bought our plane tickets?" satoru questioned, chuckling, "and what were you going to do if i said no?"
"i knew you wouldn't have said no, babe. you can't say no to me or tsumiki to save your life." you grinned.
"she's right about that." megumi added. tsumiki nodding in agreement. she did get catoru because satoru said yes. (read 'the purrr-fect approach' here)
"i can definitely say no to (y/n)." satoru defended himself as his family ganged up on him.
you picked up your empty plate, and walked to satoru side, "can i get a kiss before i start the dishes?"
"sure, babe." he replied with no hesitation as he gave you a quick peck, unaware of your tricky mind games.
"see? you can't say no." you laughed as you picked up the rest of the empty dinner plates and utensils.
"what did i say about using kisses as a weapon?!" satoru complained. "that's so unfair!"
the dining room was filled with laughter from you, megumi, tsumiki, and satoru.
two weeks later: tsumiki fushiguro takes california
satoru was glued to tsumiki by the hip for the past two weeks. they went shopping together for all her academic needs, for new clothes, a laptop, and a new matching backpack and suitcase. they went to get their hair cut together, and even got their nails done together (satoru loved getting pedicures, you thought it was because of the foot massages). he wanted to spend as much time with tsumiki as possible before parting ways.
orientation for tsumiki's school was a two day event. during the first day, the families would be given a tour of the school and then everyone would attend a social hour to get to know the faculty and other students. the second day, the families would help their student move into their dorms and say their goodbyes until semester break in the late fall, early winter.
during the first day of orientation, tsumiki had already started to make friends. she was just like you. beautiful, nice, caring, friendly. people wanted to be around her and wanted to be her friend. you and satoru watched from the sidelines of the gymnasium as tsumiki mingled with her new classmates.
"are you still worried about her? she's already getting used to things here." you tried to comfort satoru as you watched your future high schooler.
"i was hoping she'd beg us to take her home." satoru frowned. you smacked his chest playfully with the back of your hand.
"mr. and mrs. gojo," a student aide approached the both of you, "can you sign these papers for tsumiki? these are the final documents for admissions."
"sure thing." satoru replied, grabbing the clipboard and pen from the student aide. you waited until they walked away to turn to satoru.
"mr. and mrs. gojo. what did you think about that?" you sneered.
satoru chuckled as he signed the document, "sounds like music to my ears."
"give me a 10 carat diamond ring first, babe." you grinned as satoru handed you the clipboard to sign the document too.
satoru gojo would give you the world if you asked for it.
"(y/n)! gojo-sensei!" tsumiki shouted from across the gymnasium to catch your attention. she waved while pointing at the two of you. she was showing her new friends who her cool and awesome parents were. you and satoru waved back at her, giving her both of your world-class smiles.
***************************************
satoru used blue to hold up all of tsumiki's luggage as the three of you made your way to the dorm room that tsumiki would be staying in. you and satoru paid extra to make sure that she would get her own room. you sat down on the empty bed, tsumiki joining you.
"what do you think, sweetheart?"
"with a little extra decorating, i can make it look like my room at home." she said with a bright smile.
you and satoru helped put on the bed spread, duvet cover, and pillow cases while tsumiki unpacked her clothes and placed them into her small dresser.
you could feel satoru tensing up, his cursed energy spiking every now and then. he was dreading saying goodbye to tsumiki. whenever he would look at you, you would give him a soft smile and rub his back in reassurance.
"gojo-sensei, (y/n), look what megumi gave me for my dorm room." tsumiki's brown eyes twinkled as she showed you a pink sparkly picture frame.
the picture frame contents were of the four of you. it was a recent picture from tsumiki's 15th birthday. you had your arms around megumi while satoru had his arms around tsumiki. it was a rare occasion that megumi was smiling in a picture. tsumiki's signature bright smile lit up the picture. you could feel the love radiating from the frame.
"megumi says that this picture will be a reminder of home and that you all love me."
"he's right." you patted her head, brushing her brown hair. "are you sure you want to do this? it's not too late to change your mind. we can go back home if you want."
"no, i'm sure!" tsumiki said confidently.
you laughed, "you're breaking satoru's heart, baby girl." you hugged satoru, his arms were folded as he quietly laughed, shaking his head.
***************************************
you and satoru spent your last couple of hours with tsumiki reminiscing about her younger days and what kind of child she was growing up.
"remember the day that satoru lost you and megumi at kanda matsuri? i was going to have a heart attack."
satoru shot you a glare, "in my defense, there are thousands of people at that festival. it's one of japan's big three festivals! they were like four feet tall at the time! i told you we needed to get them those child leashes."
"you were such a responsible girl, going to the lost and found." you ignored satoru and laughed, remembering that tsumiki went to the lost and found to have the festival employee announce 'satoru gojo, can you please come to the lost and found to pick up your children'.
"remember the one day gojo-sensei forgot your anniversary?" tsumiki peered at satoru, giggling.
"oh god... don't bring that up." satoru hid his face in his hands.
"what was that? our third year of dating?" you asked satoru, "and your cute 9 year old partner in crime saved you that day. she went to the flower shop down the street and bought lilies with your credit card."
"then how did you find out that i forgot if she saved me?" satoru interrupted you.
"because you always get me roses, even though my favorite flowers are lilies. not only is tsumiki responsible, she's extremely thoughtful." (read 'lilies and roses' here)
"remember when tsumiki brought me a homemade lunch for teachers day?" satoru smiled at the fond memory. tsumiki was only 8 years old when satoru got an official teaching position at jujutsu high.
"it was her idea too," you reminded satoru, "she asked me to help her bring your lunch to the school that day. our baby girl is so caring. what did we do to deserve such an amazing daughter?" you gushed at your 15 year old, hugging her tightly. tsumiki just smiled and laughed like she always did.
"i think i'm the lucky one too! what did me and megumi do to deserve such loving adoptive parents?!" she remarked.
"all you two had to do was look cute. that's why i picked you two up off the streets." satoru joked. (read 'learn to love' here)
you heard a knock on tsumiki's dorm door, tsumiki opening it. the resident assistant announced, "curfew is starting soon. parents are going to be saying goodbye to their students in the courtyard."
you felt satoru's cursed energy spike again. he wasn't ready for this moment, and honestly, neither were you. you weren't sure what was going to break your heart the most: letting tsumiki go or watching satoru leave a piece of his (still) healing heart behind.
you and satoru quietly followed behind tsumiki as she confidently led the way to the courtyard. it was like she belonged here at the academy the way she navigated through the halls. the courtyard was dimly lit, the california skyline in the background, clouds kissing the top of the city buildings.
you watched as satoru sneakily wiped his tears away from his cerulean blue eyes. he crouched down, softly smiling at tsumiki.
“you gonna be okay without your partner in crime?” he asked her.
as strong as tsumiki was, her brave face started to falter. her warm brown eyes brimmed with tears as she ran into satoru’s arms for one last hug before you and satoru had to leave the campus.
tsumiki babbled through her tears, “thanks for letting me come to school here… i promise i’ll study really hard... i love you and (y/n) so much. you two are the best mom and dad ever.”
satoru scoffed through his tears and continued to hold her. you put a reassuring hand on satoru’s shoulder, joining them for a group hug. tsumiki looked up at the both of you with flushed cheeks.
you kissed the top of her precious head, an action that she never grew out of (and you hoped she never would). you smiled back at her with tears in your eyes, “wherever you are, baby girl, satoru and i will always be one call away. we love you and we’re so proud of you, tsumiki.”
"no boyfriends, please." satoru added with a chuckle. he didn't think he could handle another heart attack.
EXTRA:
"did you see how much tuition costs at tsumiki's boarding school?" you asked satoru as he sat down in his first class airline seat.
"no, i didn't even bother check the brochure they handed us at orientation." satoru stretched his long legs, "how much could a high school tuition cost? one or two thousand a year?"
you just laughed at his ridiculous comment. you were amused at how naive he was.
"what? why are you laughing?"
"try seventy, babe." you stared at him. satoru looked like he was going to have a brain aneurysm.
"seventy what? seventy dollars or seventy thousand?"
you annunciated each word clearly so he could understand you. "seventy. thousand. dollars. a. year."
satoru fake-clutched his chest, "we have to go back and withdraw her, immediately."
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