subcultureblues

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Less than Zero (1987) dir. Marek Kanievska

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THE RED SHOES dir. Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger, 1948

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the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

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yeah im over it *dies one thousand deaths*

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there is a really stupid and embarrassing darkness inside of me

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makes me sick to see people dedicating their lives to their careers and families. what about phone in bed

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steddie au where eddie thinks they're just hooking up because steve never treats him like all his previous girlfriends, but steve thinks they're dating and the relationship is only different because it's Gay. he's just trying to follow eddie's lead without making a fool of himself (he keeps buying gifts and flowers then shoving them into the back of his closet because he doesn't want eddie to think he's "treating him like a girl")

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the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

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The singular headcanon I hold as gospel in my heart of hearts - Eddie’s mom was the most lovely woman you’ve ever met and she died when he was around 10-12 years old. One thing not a lot of people knew about her though? She was brilliant with a guitar.

Her father taught her how to play folk and bluegrass when she was young. She was a natural. She taught Eddie too. He was not a natural. He was actually pretty goddamned awful to listen to, for a while. Like, a while. But she was always patient with him. Proud of every small improvement.

When she got sick, and her hands were too frail to hold down the heavy strings, she asked Eddie to sit by her bed and play for her. She said she preferred listening to him over the radio, and of course he thought she was lying to be nice, but she really, really wasn’t.

He was determined to learn to play her favorite song, an old folk song. Babe, I’m Gonna Leave You. It was a complicated one, there’s some pretty technical finger picking, but she talked him through every note. And little Eddie kept practicing and practicing. It was still rusty but he was getting there and he wanted more than anything to play it for her perfectly all the way though.

She died before he got the chance.

And secretly that will always be Eddie’s biggest regret. That he never got to play his mom her favorite song, not perfectly. Not like he wanted to. He can probably play that song backwards and forward in his sleep these days - but it’s too late now.

(What he didn’t realize is that having her son by her bedside, keeping her company as they sang along to her favorite song again and again while he practiced - those were some of the most cherished moments of her entire life)

Dead Mom Club Eddie Munson, my beloved.

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Eutrophos II

Watercolor on paper, 6.5x8.25”

2024

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Siobhán Hapaska, Robot, 2001 // Pang Maokun, Destiny 命运; Hand in Hand 牵手, 2019 // Shorra, Death of a Cyborg (after The First Mourning by William-Adolphe Bouguereau), 2015

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Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane

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