#Geralt: “Hmmm.... Okay...”
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Prompt 110
Okay so we all know about how Regis told Dandelion in the books that his blood smelled nice, which was most likely about how none of his wounds were infected and whatnot, but what if it wasn't? What if Jaskier has a special type of blood, whether magically made, cursed, or perhaps just o- or some shit lmfao Either way, Vampires LOVE this shit. Their favorite delicacy when they choose to partake. This becomes a problem when Jaskier has a hurt foot and Geralt takes him to a medic. A vampire, whether the medic, the medic's assistant, or just someone lurking outside who caught a whiff of the blood, is like "Jackpot!" and tells all his little vampire friends, and now they're hosting a big feast just to drain this guy. But it's such a delicacy, the vampire decides maybe they should only drain him a little, so he can keep the human around, so the human can regain his blood, and they can drink from him AGAIN! Oh yes, marvelous! He throws the best parties! Jaskier wakes up with a horrible headache. He's dressed incredibly fancy, though he doesn't think these are his clothes- Speaking of which, he also doesn't think this is his room at the inn... Is he- Is he fucking chained to a dining table? "Let the buffet begin! I hope you're thirsty my friends!~" Fuck. He hopes Geralt gets here quick-
#geraskier#geralt x jaskier#the witcher#geralt x dandelion#geralt loves his bard!#witcher fanfiction#fanfiction prompts#writing prompts#requited unrequited love#friends to lovers#First vampire to drink from Jaskier like: *chef kiss* “Good soup”#Pale queasy Jaskier like: “Hah thanks made it all by myself”#“But just you wait until my boyfriend-who-doesnt-know-hes-my-boyfriend gets here!”#protective geralt#Geralt's canonical instarage when anything happens to jaskier (especially concerning vampires lmfao)#Regis - a good trusted friend of geralts: “i'm a vampire”#Geralt: “Hmmm.... Okay...”#Regis: “Hey Dandy nice blood ya got there”#Geralt putting sword to Regis's throat: “BACK THE FUCK UP BEFORE I SLICE AND DICE YA LIKE A TOMATO”#this actually happens in the books#(not with this stunning dialogue but i digress)#its 6 am!!! had some ~Hurt Feelings~ from extended family shenanigans and decided to cope with GAYS!!!!!!!!#HOORAYYYY!!!#Do NOT ask about it i am serious i am genuine please do not ask i will not answer AWIHGPHAWPIPSHGP
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Okay picture this:
Jaskier and Geralt end up by the coast for a monster hunting job with sirens. Geralt tells Jaskier to stay behind because he thinks that as a Witcher he will have a certain immunity to the sirens song, but as a man Jaskier would not. 
Cue the hunt Geralt goes down to water and Jaskier follows secretly behind. Geralt actually does get ensnared by sirens and Jaskier has to be the one to save him.
But Jaskier is pissed, “ I mean, really, Geralt you listen to these, these fish for five minutes and you’re already in love. But it took me!! Twenty years.” Jaskier never let him live this down, he brings it up in arguments over and over again.
“Oooh I fell for the monsters spell?? What about you mister oh the siren wouldn’t ensnare me”
“Oh you want me to be quiet?? Well I guess you prefer the song of a siren then hmmm?” (My headcannon is that Geralt actually like jaskier singing and talking but want him to be quiet on hunts)
Geralt is so confused on how Jaskier could be immune to sirens. He comes to the conclusion that Jaskier is one. He preforms bunch of tests that leave Jaskier perplexed, soaking wet and smelling of fish. But yet he can’t figure out why Jaskier has never changed forms.
He ends up, bringing jaskier to Kaer Morehn. He asked for his brothers and Vesmeirs help on trying to figure out why Jaskier was immune to sirens. They all believe his theory on Jaskier being a siren yet none of them can prove it. The tests get more and more ridiculous and nothing works. Jaskier firmly believes the reason he wasn’t ensnared is because he’s a musician.
Jaskier: “Why yes they had lovely voices but they were all very high pitched, a little scratchy if you asked me. Reminded me of my time in Oxford. Some of those singers could not hold a tune.”
Geralt: “you love the sea”
Jaskier: “of course I love the sea, do you know how many songs there are about the sea?? Hmmm Geralt?? Do you know how many different love stories I can create by using the sea as a metaphor??”
Geralt: “you like fish”
Jaskier: “it’s easier on my throat.”
Geralt is tearing out his hair. Vesmeir is so offended over the fact that he can’t prove anything concrete.
I don’t know what would be funnier ending, but I have options:
1: if he really was a siren who just didn’t know it
2: he challenged and siren (unknowing) to a singing competition, and the siren was so impressed that she blessed him with
2.5: he slept with a siren who liked him enough to bless him
3: he really was immune because he was a musician. I mean you really think that Oxford is turning out basic singers, absolutely not??
#jaskier#geralt x jaskier#geraskier#geralt of rivia#vesmír#the witcher#Jaskier is suspiciously could with sirens#I just think this would be funny#witcher netflix#witcher fanfiction#witchers are so confused by Jaskier
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Clark kent (Cavill) and his boyfriend/husband- dealers choice. Sitting down to watch the witcher and as soon as Geralt starts talking we pause and look at clark.
“Babe? Go ‘hmmm’ for me”
"Hmmmm." M/n blinked at his boyfriend. "So...um..." He put his hands together and took a breath before pointing at Clark. "Do you have a secret acting career I don't know about or do you have a secret twin brother?"
Clark looked even more confused. "What are you talking about?"
"Do you...do you seriously not see it?" M/n almost made a noise when he saw how confused Clark still was. "I'm just...you look EXACTLY like Henry Cavill. Are you sure that's not you!?" "Honey. I promise. I'm not a secret actor. Okay?" He pulled M/n into him. "Okay." For a while, they sat there in an embrace. Suddenly M/n pulled out his phone. "I'm ordering a Geralt costume. I NEED to see you in this. I swear I'm not going crazy."
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Ensha for the ask meme since I don't see anybody talk about that guy
OHHHH YAYA
favorite thing about them
I love how he is just... there. All the time. Just outside the door, leaning and watching. Why is he there? *shrugs* He just is. Kinda creepy. I also love how loyal he is, to a fault.
least favorite thing about them
He is very underutilized. Like, if you go the whole game with out ever getting a medallion piece, he just vanishes at the end of the game. Doesn't even leave his armor. *poof* gone.
favorite line
Bro says nothing. He says less than Horace from DS3. Horace groans a bit but Ensha just looks at you and gives you a gesture and thats it.
brOTP
Ensha and Gideon, and Ensha and my lil Kindred of Rot baby, Geralt. That is his uncle bones right there!
OTP
Don't have one. Ive considered Ensha/Gideon which shockingly has NOTHING about them (i thought y'all liked old man yaoi????) Also toyed with Gideon/Fyra/Ensha, but nothing has ever come of it. Id imagine if someone i knew started shipping an OC with him, I'd be into it.
nOTP
No one ships him with anyone. But let me filter through a list of npcs.... *pulls out a name card* Milicent? yeah okay. hate that ship.
random headcanon
Imma just toss a few in here, first i just flat out consider canon, second is an interesting 'what if?' thing, last one is from something an rp partner came up with (i miss you allknowingofnir =( )
Ensha is mute and speaks with sign language
Ensha is actually Gideon's maiden and is ftm. (he sometimes has breasts if you remove his armor)
Ensha is a former child soldier for a king named Ensha, who was an enemy of the Golden Order. Gideon saved him from death when the King and his forces were wiped out. He thus donned the king's bones and took the name Ensha
unpopular opinion
I don't really like the headcanon that he's a Puppet. I just think he's a loyal and weird dude who follows Gideon around.
song i associate with them
Uh.... Hmmm....
youtube
favorite picture of them
*shuffle shuffle*
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Hi! For the comfort character ask how about Gregor and 🛁
CARA-CARA-CARAVAGGIO BIIIYAAAATCCCHHHHHH Okay, so I saw the prompt and my the first thought: the bathtub scene with Geralt of Rivia from Witcher 3. Is this a good reason to draw clones with big tiddies? What stops me from painting clones with big tiddies? Oh that I usually draws them in armor. Hmmm. Tough choice. Peony's two favorite things: armor and tiddies. This time tiddies won. Gregor deserves a big hot bath after all the shit he went through. He also deserves big tiddies. Sorry, right now I'm as unhinged even a doorframe is coming with me. Aaaaand... I still don't have consistent art style, I try to experiment with digital painting. Thank you for the request and I hope you like it!
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I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be so I have been trying to send about an ask a week. Now I send this ask first anytime I follow someone as I really don't want to bother anyone, so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Not having energy for asks or being comfortable with them is perfectly okay.
The categories I have in my ask notebook that I file under are in colour. Please feel free to make your response as long as you want or private (the asker cannot directly respond to private responses).
Self, Job/Work: please let me know what you are comfortable with from eh idk just ask it to nothing personal at all.
Baggishield/Tolkien, Dragon Age, Johnlock/Sherlock, ineffable spouses, other fandom: Please let me know what fandoms. I think my main fandoms and ships are Bagginshield/The Hobbit, Sherlock/Johnlock, Dragon Age Inquisition, {Pippin/Faramir Merry/Eowyn}/The Lord of the Rings and I dip my toes in a few that I currently can't remember but ships I don't engage with the canon of at all are: Good Omens but only for Crowley/Azirapheal, Stranger Things but only for Steve/Eddie , The Witcher but only for Geralt/Jaskier, and Ladybug and Cat Noir but only for Adrinette .
OC's, art/drawing, their writing, blog specific only
Story snippets ideas and prompts: Do you like receiving them?
Pets: I'd love to know all about them
Garden and Hobbies: What type of gardening and/or hobbies?
Like being tagged in things: If so what kinds of things?
*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.
hello!!! yeah, i love receiving asks, lmao, & as for ur questions:
self, job/work: hmmm. im not rly comfy w any major questions ab my irl life (like stuff along the lines of “where specifically t do you live” (like im a brit, but if somewhere were to ask js where i live in the uk, i wldnt answer, as is common sense (imo) when it comes to the internet), “how old are you” “what is (are) your irl name(s)” etc. etc. - identifying stuff, basically), tho anythin’ else is pretty much on the table rn.
fandoms: oh, fandoms my beloved. my main fandoms atm (for both reading & writing, tho some r only reading while some r only writing, etc. etc.) are cuphead (i have way too much worldbuilding for this one au of mine that branches off into so many aus of the au, its genuinely gettin a lil crazy /pos /lh; i write fic for this one, aswell- in fact, its kinda my main writing-for fandom atm ^^), the hobbit (bagginshield my beloved i love you shjshsjehejs - i also dable vaguely in lotr (mainly gimli/legolas + parentshield tbh lmao) but its mostly js the hobbit for me), good omens (i love the ineffables i love s1 & s2 & HSJSHSJSHSJ i js love it like. all around. fuck gaimon tho, death of the author tyvmm), my hero academia/boku no hero academia (i dont engage w fandom much other then a few fanfic writers’ blogs here on tumblr & ao3 fanfic lmao XD; love the anime tho), harry potter (FUCK jkr, speaking as a brit myself none of us claim her, the transphobes can have her, we dont want her /lh - love the (good parts of) fanbase tho. ive actually made some rly good fic-writer friends thru it over on discord lmao), & ofc rise of the guardians!!! (fuckin love that thing, so sad there was never a second move :sadblob: love playin around w fanon/fandom lore tho, & i LOVE jackrabbit (bunnymund/jack) its my main ship in the fandom, tho im a multishipper so im also kinda partial to some other ones ofc)
ocs, art/drawing, writing, blog specific: not entirely sure what this one’s asking/if its actually a question, but imma answer it any lolol XD. anygays - ocs: i have a few cuphead ocs, but none of ‘em r self-inserts & all only rly exist bc of/for/to enhance/move forward the plot of my (main) cuphead au, tho ofc theyre still ocs - love ‘em like my children even if i dont love ‘em as much as i do the canon characters, snirk. art/drawing: i do draw, tho i rarely post any of my art, and one or two times i have its usually bc im js proud enough of it to want to share it, ehehe. writing: i write. so much fanfic. none of its posted, but i have so many wips i frankly dont know when any one of ‘em will be, sooo… shrug. blog specific: my blog isnt rly “specific”; its more js a place for me to enage w cool art & fics & such & reblog stuff i like on here as well as probably self-promo my own fics & such, as well as js a place to put my random ramblings in XD.
story snippets & prompts: oh, i love ‘em!! always nice 2 get a new burst of writing motivation ::D
pets: ohhh, cats. i love cats. had one for a while for around a good two years or so but after he injured his paw & we had 2 keep him inside for 3 weeks straight, the flightly lil bugger’s runaway. he (might’ve; still don’t know for sure whether it rly was him or not, but he apparently responded to his name from my mother’s accounts, so :shrug:) came back in the middle of the night a week or so ago now, but idtk whether he’s dead, alive, or js been taken in by some other family who thinks he’s a stray. :sigh:
gardening & hobbies: i don’t garden, and as for hobbies… not much, rly. i like writing fic, i like reading, i like going on (short, i have shite stamina) walks every other day or so, i like talkin w my few friends. like i said, not much. ::)
like being tagged in things: yes, i do! and as for what… anything, rly! tag games, fic wip games, askbox/ask games, im good w ‘em all! ::D
thx for the ask; have a good day/night/timezone!! ::>
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hi!!!!
couple of questions :O
whats your fav witcher ship when you're reading fanfics? :)
whats your fav trope?
do you have any sentences that you automatically are swooning over
:D
omg, hi anon!!! thank you so much for asking some questions!!!!!!
okay, here we go!
oh gosh, i have so many fave ships from The Witcher!! Geralt/Jaskier are, like, my otp, but i also love Jaskier/pretty much any Witcher, Geraskefer, and Geralt/Eskel/Lambert. also Wolfpack + Bard is a great combination as well!
my fave trope?? hmmm... i like meet-cutes (as well as meet-uglies, i think those have amazing potential to be hilarious!), strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, role reversals, and (i don't know if these count as "tropes," but) pretty much any kind of AU!
hmm..... the short answer to this is yes, absolutely i have some sentences that make me swoon!! they tend to be about one character's devotion to the other, in a romantic or platonic, duty-driven sense. i also swoon over lightly-possessive declarations, and pretty much any sentence that's designed to be sweet and cute and hit readers right in their heartstrings! if you're looking for specific examples, i have some, but i'll have to hunt them down, and also figure out what fic they're from so i can link them!
again, anon, thank you so much for asking some questions!! :)
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Leave him alone
Ship: Geraskier
Rating: T
Wordcount: 5.9k
Chapters: 5
Tags: Highschool AU, Modern AU, Bullying, Nerdy Geralt, First Kiss, Getting Together, Suicide Mention
Read on AO3
Finally, it was lunch break, Jaskier had been hungry for at least two hours. He should really remember bringing food to school with him, but he already knew, he wouldn’t. Everyday he got hungry half way through the morning and went hungry until lunch break and everyday he forgot to bring anything to eat. He was about to walk over to the canteen as he passed a group of people, he knew some of them but right now he didn’t want to deal with anyone, he just wanted to get food. It took him a couple of seconds until he realised what was going on. In the middle were a boy, he’d seen a couple of times before, he usually was alone. He was dressed in black and his long white hair let him easily stick out. He looked extremely uncomfortable; shoulders drawn up as if to protect himself. It immediately didn’t sit right with Jaskier.
“Ey weirdo, come on, say something,” someone yelled, another pushed him and he stumbled against the wall behind him. Such assholes, Jaskier was especially angry, since some of them were people, he knew and had hung out with in the future. He dropped his bag and elbowed his way through the group, now standing next to the boy in the middle.
“Really, what the fuck. Feeling good going after a single person in a group? Is this making you feel strong? Giving you a kick? I really expected better from you, Marc and Pascal,” he was looking at the two guys he hung out with occasionally. “Come on piss off everyone,” he yelled. He was absolutely ready to throw hands. But luckily it wasn’t necessary, because everyone started to leave. He started to calm down again and picked up his bag.
“You okay?” he asked the boy who seemed to be a bit older than him.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered in a gruff voice.
“I’m Jaskier,” he introduced himself and offered his hand.
“I’m Geralt,” he answered and took Jaskier’s hand carefully. He didn’t seem to trust him, which was probably understandable with most people bullying him, he was probably expecting Jaskier to be no different.
“I’m starving, wanna come to lunch with me?” Jaskier offered. Whenever Jaskier had seen Geralt, he had been alone, always sat alone at lunch, he wanted to change it, getting to know the guy. He should have probably done it earlier. Geralt nodded, he seemed surprised about the question but he followed Jaskier.
“Does this happen often?” Jaskier asked. Geralt had his hands buried in his pockets and was looking to the ground.
“On occasion,” he mumbled.
“Assholes, I’m gonna beat them all up,” Jaskier said. Geralt looked him up and down with a smirk.
“Are you?” Fair, Geralt was much broader than him and a little taller but that didn’t mean Jaskier couldn’t fuck someone up if he wanted.
“I might not look like it but I can land some good hits if need be. Got me into trouble a couple of times,” he said.
“Don’t want you to get into trouble because of me,” Geralt mumbled.
“It’s cool, I’m tight with Mr. Adams,” Jaskier explained, grinning.
“Hmmm.” So Geralt seemed not be one for talking a lot, Jaskier didn’t mind, he could easily talk for three people. They got their food and Geralt walked over to the corner table he was usually sitting at alone. As he sat down and realized, Jaskier had followed him and was now sitting down across from him.
“What are you doing? Not gonna sit with your cool friends?” Geralt asked dismissively. Jaskier looked over to them, they also seemed confused why he would sit with Geralt. Well they could shove it if they had a problem with it. Most of them weren’t really his friends, just Essi and Priscilla. The others were just people who were around a lot.
“Nah, they can deal without me, thought I keep you some company. That is if you want to,” Jaskier explained. He didn’t want to force his presence on the other boy but he felt like Geralt maybe needed a friend.
“’s fine,” Geralt answered and started to eat. He was talking so quiet, Jaskier nearly didn’t understand him in the loud room.
“You don’t trust me,” Jaskier asserted.
“Most people just talk to me to pick on me,” Geralt explained in a gruff voice.
“Most people are assholes,” Jaskier answered. “They like to pick on people who are alone and don’t fit in.”
Geralt didn’t answer. Maybe not the right topic to get him to talk, he probably didn’t want to talk about these idiots.
“So, you’re in twelfth grade, right?” Jaskier asked to change the topic.
“Hmm yeah,” Geralt answered.
“Please tell me, if you want me to fuck off,” Jaskier said laughing.
“Will do,” Geralt answered.
“Anyway, I’m in eleventh grade and also part of the school band I play guitar and sing,” Jaskier started to talk.
“Yeah I saw you at the Christmas performance,” Geralt answered. Jaskier leaned in and talked in a low voice.
“Let me tell you a secret, nearly no one here knows, because apparently I’m not as confident as you in being myself, I also play the lute and perform at ren fairs,” he admitted. He did hide the fact. Only his best friends knew and only two of them were in this school. He knew people would think it was weird and probably mock him. Geralt lifted an eyebrow as he heard that.
“Really?” he asked, sounding like he didn’t believe him.
“Let me show you,” he said and took his phone, quickly he searched through his phone until he found a photo where he performed. He was wearing blue tights under a pair of puffy pink pants and a doublet, lute in hand. Geralt grinned.
“Hot,” he said, clearly joking.
“I just told you my biggest secret, you’re not allowed to mock me,” he said, pouting.
“I love Gwent,” Geralt said, finally sharing something about himself. Jaskier was confused over the shift in topic for a second.
“Oh, I heard about this, but never checked it out,” he said. Geralt seemed a little embarrassed.
“It’s pretty nerdy,” he said.
“I figured, you’re a nerd,” Jaskier said grinning. “Maybe you want to show me sometime,” he suggested.
“Sure,” Geralt answered, but he didn’t sound convinced.
The bell reminded them that it was time to get back to class so they got up and cleaned up their table before leaving for class.
After Geralt had left for his own classroom Jaskier got surrounded by some of the people he would usually hang out with.
“Saw you hang out with the weirdo,” Thomas said, pushing his shoulder. “What’s your game, getting his secrets and then using them against him?” he asked.
“Wow what the fuck, you’re all assholes,” Jaskier said. “I was just being nice, wouldn’t hurt you to be as well.” Thomas looked a little taken aback but had the decency to apologize. “Honestly if you don’t like someone, just ignore them and don’t be a prick.” He was mad and walked quicker to leave them behind.
In the classroom Essi already waited at their shared table. At least with her, he knew, she wouldn’t make fun of anyone.
Read the rest on AO3
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Fix it AU where they go to the coast together :)
#geraskier#geralt/jaskier#the witcher#yeah man idk what took over me I've been drawing for hmmm over 6 hours straight#oops#i just got LOST in the details for this one#I even purchased a 3d model of a lute for posing purposes LMFAO#also jaskiers hand on his knee? I went off on that one it makes me so happy#okay yeah.... hope yOU ENJOY
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The Witcher Headcanon - Ceremonies
What if the Witcher Schools each had their own Hakas they would perform for various events?
The Wolves of Kaer Morhen had a Haka that they would do when they all came home for the winter.
Jaskier had always heard of these ceremonial dances, but had never seen one in person before. He got to see one for the first time when he went with Geralt to Kaer Morhen.
And it had scared the absolute sh*t out of him. It had been one of the most intimidating things he'd ever seen. He did earn some instant respect points from the Wolves, though, for not p*ssing himself or passing out.
All he could imagine was how terrifying it must have been for an enemy to see a dozen Witchers walk up to them, then just start doing this war dance.
He was facinated by the ritual, and wanted to know everything about it. Once he started growing on the other Witchers (ok, they won't lie, it was love at first Voice Crack), they decided it was okay to share that little bit of culture, since he seemed so interested.
They had a long discussion with Vesemir after Songbird had gone to bed, and they came to the consensus that they wanted him to learn their Hakas.
Geralt had just smiled when they told him which one they wanted to teach Songbird first. It was fitting, Geralt thought, and Jaskier would be elated.
Geralt had taken him to the Great Hall the next morning and had stripped to the waist. "Take off your coat and shirt, Bard.
The Bard had eyed him playfully. "Er, shouldn't we be strippng somewhere more...private?"
"I'm going to teach you a Haka."
"And we have to be naked to do it?"
Geralt *exasperated Hmmm*.
"Okay, okay, I was just joking!" Jaskier divested himself of his coat and shirt, and shivered, whining "Can I keep the shirt? It's cold in here!"
"You've got enough hair on your chest to keep you warm enough."
"Prick."
Geralt started teaching Jaskier the Haka, with no explanation of what it was for. Jaskier had no idea what language the chants were in, but it wasn't one he recognized.
With a mysterious smile, Geralt told him just to say what he told him to.
The other Witchers peeked in on the practice sessions from time to time, just to see how their Songbird was progressing.
They never stayed very long, not wanting to make the Bard nervous.
Lookit him! He was working so hard! Stop staring, Lambert, you're going to make him self-conscious! F**k you, Aiden! I don't see you blinking, you smarta**!
Jaskier was excited the night he was going to actually do the Haka with the Wolves. He had entered the Great Hall and noticed that everyone, even Vesemir, was dressed in their best armor. And he maybe started feeling a little nervous.
Geralt had told him to relax. It was similar to wearing a costume for a stage performance. The Bard had relaxed at that, and stood next to Geralt, facing Vesemir and the other Witchers.
Geralt started the Haka, and Jaskier poured the same energy, power and passion into it that he put into performing his music.
The Wolves *trying not to lose it*: Look at him! He's f***ing killing it! He's really putting his whole little heart into it! Look at the energy he's bringing to it!
Jaskier could hardly think of anything but the feeling that roared in his blood.
Watching the war dance had been one thing, but actually participating? It stirred something in his blood. Something powerful, ancient, primal, alive.
It stirred images in his head of wolves hunting, battles, brotherhood, blood... He felt so many strong emotions, and...
Oh, Melitele, he was going to have compose a ballad about this!
Vesemir and the other Witchers joined in and the atmosphere changed. It felt charged, electric, like the air before a storm.
Jaskier felt a sudden shift in the energy in the room, when they joined in. Felt himself getting lost in an overwhelming wave of emotion, and then the Haka ended.
Silence descended, leaving Jaskier standing there flushed and breathless, with just the electric feeling in his blood, and the pounding in his ears... and the feeling that something really big, really important had just happened.
And then Geralt and his brothers had cheered and rushed the confused Bard, each one of them solemnly giving him a forehead bonk.
Er, Geralt? What just happned?
That was the Haka we use to welcome a new member into the pack. You've been formally adopted. You are now a Wolf of Kaer Morhen.
Jaskier felt as if his heart was going to burst. Tears gathered in his eyes as he processed what Geralt had just said.
He started trembling, his brain buzzing Am Wolf? I has brothers? Am belonging?
He couldn't think of a single thing to say, so he settled for passing the f**k out.
#the witcher#the witcher headcanon#geralt#geralt of rivia#jaskier#julian alfred pankratz#geraskier#kaer morons#twn#the witcher netflix#ceremonies headcanon#henry cavill
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two drafts in one weekend! Cause I finally got my groove back and I'm determined to have this finished before the new year, and I desperately need that dopamine hit...so glad I've been able to claw my way back to this vid. This upload is just the second half of the vid, the Falka and Ciri sections. So I mentioned in my previous post (see above) that the climactic Ciri section I vaguely had outlined as Ciri + family + pain and everything that she experienced in the desert alone. That I also wanted to show Ciri's good memories with her family now that she's alone and struggling. Well I was scrubbing through season 3, thinking about what Ciri has to fall back on now that she's alone, and only has her memories and what she's learned. And then rewatched the whole vid again and again and realizing that this section is perfect to show some of Ciri's moral compass, cause we got some great bits of that in the earlier part of the season. So now this section is more firmly established in a Falka'esque POV, but it's about Ciri and the injustices she's seen and what she'll do to protect others. And to survive. From there I was able to start layering the pain and angst of the good times and fears Ciri has about her family. That escalation to her breaking point and what she'll do to survive. That was just a dream....
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some other notes/observations/thoughts:
ESCALATION. CLIMACTIC PAIN. ALL THE CROSS DISSOLVES AND OVERLAYS. Dissociation! Okay, I kept working on this and I'm still working on this wondering how the heck and if I should put Little Horse and his Big Balls in this vid somewhere. Ciri and her unicorn friend in the desert is such a good visual (sans balls, imo) but hmmm. This whole Falka POV about Ciri is really speedrunning Ciri's journey since there's only so much timeline since the vid does not need to be any longer. I am so sooo happy that I realized Ciri in Gors Velen witnessing the wyvern's mistreatment could fit here. I was testing out a lot of Ciri face reactions to the wyvern and that dick on the stage but really liked the one I settled on here. And her saving the kid from the Bonhart (cousin?) -- the kid running away, the happy accidental transition into her scrambling away from the giant desert monster was great thematic serendipity. I'm really happy with how heavy and dense this section got once I started doing some more layering of Geralt and Yen in pain and also their joy of being with Ciri. I'm much happier with the Ciri section at the end than I was in the previous draft, but it's still Not Quite Right. I don't think I'm happy with that view of her eye and being dragged in the desert, though I do like how claustrophobic it is with those tight shots on her face. But there's something with playing with the visuals of the blue tavern imagery and Ciri actually standing in front of the man she murdered. The clip at 1:07 I'm most likely to see if I can find something that fits a little better...but still not sure. I know @littlestsnicket mentioned she really appreciated and loved the final clip in the last version but I told her I had changed it - it's such a small change, but I think it's more evocative and effective way as a Final Clip and closing out the thesis of Ciri losing her religion. In the previous version it was a wide shot of her literally standing in the blue tavern spotlight, alone. But moving to this shot of her walking outside of the spotlight and sitting down, alone, in the dark-- I think that hammers home the sentiment of Ciri losing her religion. That dissociation. Time for Ciri in the Rats era. Also she looks so small when she slinks down to the ground... the pain....
So now that I have a full rough draft down and things are falling into place, I'll be doing all the fine-tuning from here. Swapping out a clip here and there, cleaning up some of the cross dissolves that have some stray frames. Playing with the timing of the cross dissolves. Finally fixing the earlier sections of the vid that had bothersome things in it. Nitpicking now. The finish line is in sight and I'm so excited how it's coming along. Ciriiiiiiiiiiiii.
Naked Vid Draft - VID OUTLINE: Losing My Religion (The Witcher Netflix, season 3. Ensemble & Ciri.)
My next installment of my Naked Vid Draft vidding process series: my fanvid outline.
This post is meant to show how I've (mostly) learned how to outline fanvids over the years and how I think about song choice for some vid projects. I used to do this kind of outline for every single vid and write it down in a text file and keep it in my folder to review whenever I opened the project. These days I just do all of this in my head now unless I find myself struggling mid-way through a project.
You can listen along or just skip below to read the lyrics and my notes to learn about how I see/hear/feel my vid in my head already. I haven't rewatched most of season 3 since the summer. I haven’t even created the project file or started making any clips for this yet. This vid lives in my head and in these notes. All things are subject change once I start vidding but for now this is what it is as I get my start on this project. I've chosen Bellsaint's cover of Losing My Religion for this vid which I'll explain in more detail under the cut.
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By reading through the lyrics and my notes, hopefully you’ll also be able to see how I’m structuring the vid. Maybe you'll see the vid in a different way if you come back to watch a completed draft.
I’ve put the lyrics and all my line notes below the cut since this post is already quite long. And also this would count as spoilers for my upcoming vid. (This post is also accountability so I can keep my excitement up and start working on this vid!)
Some vid projects I go into it having a vague emotion or theme or even just a few clips that I know I want to use and that’s really it. Sometimes I barely remember any key visuals, just my “!!! I LOVE THEM!!” Feelings about the character. I just dive into the movie or episodes and I’m just throwing visuals down on the timeline and seeing what sticks. It’s just me having a good time fucking around with the characters feelings or the show’s visuals and it doesn’t really matter how it comes together or what I was thinking before I started it. Usually turns into something by the end.
Other vids, particularly my witcher vids, I have more specific ideas going into the project right down to clip choices and visual climaxes. Because everything Witcher-related is still the top of my fannish obsessions and always on my mind in some way. Dominates my fannish feeds and reading and discussing and etc etc. I have specific things I want to squee and think about with TWN and that ends up in my vids.
Reminder: this is a season 3 only vid so I will only be pulling visuals from season 3.
Song choice/vid concept origins/process notes:
I’ve been making single-season character study vids for Yennefer and Ciri and Fringilla since 2021. I’ve appreciated a specific female vocalist/singer-songwriter with Halsey and Claire Guerrero for the vibes and the lyrics. It’s a musical motif I hadn’t really intended on falling into so thoroughly for the show. But it feels good and right and I enjoy making TWN vids with that music. So it was pretty natural for me to want to vid season 3 again with that vibe/atmosphere in mind.
I really loved season 3 of TWN. What I was really excited to see was how all the events of Thanedd would come together, the Family of Destiny, and I was so excited to see this chapter of Ciri’s journey begin when she’s separated from everyone.
So it’s exciting to have this concept for a season 3 vid. I want it to be very Ensemble but also Ciri. I want to look at the struggle, at the pain, at the grief, and mayhem of Thanedd. While also being able to highlight some of the lovely moments between Ciri, Geralt, Yennefer on the run. And Jaskier also showing up to do his best to help protect Ciri and help Geralt and Yen.
REM’s Losing My Religion has lyrics and a mood that is really perfect for this. I don’t even remember how I circled around to this song, only that I did. I've always been more of a lyric-driven vidder and I love to dig in and think about lyrical associations and emotional beats on certain verses.
I’ve really gotten into vidding musical covers over the years. I find covers to be a really interesting way to take the familiar song and put a new spin on it. A way to add some layers to a fanvid and emphasize certain vibes/atmosphere. Transformative remix art. :)
I found this incredible cover by Bellsaint of Losing My Religion. Not only did I fall so hard for the arrangement and the female vocalist, she ended up sounding similar to what I liked about Halsey and Claire Guerrero that I used for my Yen and Ciri and Fringilla vids. Yummy musical motif. I don’t have thoughts or fleshed out ideas yet for all the lyrics and instrumentals. Like I said before usually once I start clipping and adding things to the timeline, I discover how shots from the season that relate to the emotions/themes/characters will fit into place on the timeline. It’s a fun time.
This vid is ultimately going to be about the grief and struggle and pain of Family of Destiny and how it all falls apart leaving Ciri standing in the rubble. With those those climactic events of Thanedd. Ciri and Falka and The Rats.
This will be a fluid POV. We’re starting with Geralt, moving onto Yen, then Yen and Geralt, then Jaskier, then our Thanedd villains and ultimately Ciri. Everyone is losing their religion.
Pardon the formatting. I've always just slapped lyrics down and write notes next to the line, nothing fancy.
VID OUTLINE: Losing My Religion TWN Season 3: Ensemble + Ciri. LYRICS + VID NOTES
[0:00] Geralt POV in verse 1
Oh life, it's bigger [Geralt with Ciri on the ferry, Geralt sad eyes about the weight Ciri carries] It's bigger than you [Ciri Child of the Elder Blood/ Tor Lara, Everyone wants Ciri?] And you are not me [Geralt sad/exhausted, maybe on the ferry or another safe house?] The lengths that I will go to [Geralt rushing to save Ciri, maybe in the belletyn labyrinth maze] The distance in your eyes [many choices for Ciri haunted eyes, still thinking of Ciri on Ferry looking out at the water] Oh no, I've said too much [Geralt talking to Ciri in Sherrwarrdfijifjs maybe] I've said enough [also a play on TWN Geralt not being talky philosopher/ but also more Geralt sad eyes when he’s trying to keep Ciri safe]
[0:31] Yen POV verse 2
That's me in the corner [fucking TWN putting Yen in the corner, inverting Dear Friend Letter writing, Yen being shut out of the safe houses] That's me in the spotlight [Yen trying to teach Ciri magic and/or Yen and Ciri at market to get portal to aretuza and Yen saving Ciri? Or Yen at Thanedd in the Spotlight. Spotlight of nascent motherhood though..hmm..] Losing my religion [Ciri being mad/frustrated/irritated at Yen, i.e. when Yen pulls her away from applegat blabbing about her visions. Or maybe Yen at Thanedd?] Trying to keep up with you [Yen and Ciri antagonisms at the bathhouse? / Ciri and Yen on the run at the market after killing guy in Keira’s portal shop] And I don't know if I can do it [That One Shot where Yen walks away from Ciri at the bathhouse, Looking Pained] Oh no, I've said too much [Yen snapping at Ciri/ maybe when Ciri blabbing to applegat, or another instance?] I haven't said enough [Yen beautiful face of grief at trying to do right by Ciri]
[1:01] Yen and Geralt POV. Previous two POVs were more about themselves and focused on Ciri. This section of lyrics makes me think of Yen and Geralt about each other - as well as Ciri. And the vocals are kind of layered in the song, it sounds like two voices. It makes me think of all the quiet tenderness of Yennefer and Geralt had in this season.
I thought that I heard you laughing [Yen and Geralt watching Ciri dance at belletyn] I thought that I heard you sing [Yen and Ciri on the lake ice skating, Geralt watching them, maybe also Ciri and Geralt piggyback ride. Trying to sing = Ciri trying to do magic and/or trying to be a normal girl with a family.] I think I thought I saw you try [Yennefer and Geralt looking at each other !!!!!!!!! Trying!!!! To do their best! when they’re camping near Sherwrararrward and belletyn and in the forest on the way to Aretuza.]
[1:16-1:27] Foreshadow/Transition. There’s an ominous ‘oooooh��� with the ominous music in the background here for these 11 seconds. Maybe Ciri and Jaskier watching Yen and Geralt in the woods? Or: will try to bridge a Ciri clip from previous verse to Foreshadow Ciri in the desert, ‘thought I saw you try’ try to do magic.. Trying to summon magic and getting all the visions of Fire and Death. Transition from Ciri + fire/power to vision!Jaskier’s horrific death, then cut to:]
[1:28] Jaskier POV
Every whisper [whispers=secrets, lies and subterfuge. Also: Jaskier rubbing his fingers while in the carriage with Philippa and Radovid. Whisper=small action, Jaskier pain/fire/Rience, and/or from Ciri Vision. What Jaskier will do to protect Ciri, implied heartache/what will he lose along the way.] Of every waking hour [Philippa getting in Jaskier’s face? Keeping him on his toes.] I'm choosing my confessions [Jaskier going to Radovid, Jaskier face of pain and empathy and/or Jaskier singing?] Trying to keep an eye on you [Jaskier and Ciri in the cottage] Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool [Jaskier/radovid kiss, Jaskier looking hurt/betrayed morning after] Oh no, I've said too much [Jaskier singing Ciri to sleep? Jaskier worry morning after when she’s gone? Jaskier’s woogity face when talking to Radovid?] I've said enough [Jaskier’s resolve? Jaskier eyessss.]
[3:35] Thanedd POVs: Philippa, Dijkstra, Vilgefortz.
Consider this [Philippa bending Geralt’s ear about taking sides at Thanedd] Consider this, the hint of the century [Vilgefortz + Geralt + paintings, or walking. Vilgefortz epic stakes. Staff.] Consider this, the slip [I’ve always heard ‘the slave’ instead of ‘the slip’ which has made me stuck on Geralt as a slave to his neutrality, whacking the shit out of Dijkstra and breaking his knee] That brought me to my knees, failed [Dijkstra owtchies howling in pain] What if all these fantasies come [Vilgefortz letting scoia’tael invade? Or Redanian soldiers grabbing Geralt? ?? something] Flailing around [Vilgefortz staff + Geralt. Ciri Beach Running Thanedd falling apart/ ring of fire/but also I’ve done that exact layering/transparency before in previous season 3 vids but hmmmm…something.] Now I've said too much [Vilgefortz beach. Maybe staff thumps to the percussion here, beat beat beat Geralt beat, Geralt losing his neutrality religion, Geralt bleed, Vilgefortz smirk, but maybe Vilgefortz in Tor Lara with Ciri watching Ciri touch the monolith? always circle back to Ciri..... To help transition to:]
[2:29] Ciri POV - Ciri on the run / Ciri in the desert here. Layering Past Ciri with all the memories of Geralt and Yen and Jaskier with the pain she’s experiencing in the desert alone and she’s losing her mind seeing her mother and grandmother. MAYBE also layer in Vilgefortz’ mind warping False Ciri?? Who is Ciri? It’s all just a dream.]
I thought that I heard you laughing [Ciri having dinner with Family of Destiny? / more Ciri/Family - maybe a flash of Desert Falka Vision?] I thought that I heard you sing [More Ciri focusing on Yen and Geralt Trying to Do Their Best. Ciri and Yen in the market? Maybe another layer of Hooded Cloaked Falka?] I think I thought I saw you try [Ciri Family Feels/ action of Tor Lara? Yen and Geralt trying to protect Ciri?] [maybe this is a Falka POV verse?????]
But that was just a dream [Ciri walking at night - blue desert, overlays with Family of Destiny] That was just a dream [Ciri/Family transition/layering Ciri getting dragged on the ground by bounty hunters, or when she’s tied up in the tavern]
[3:09] Ciri POV That's me in the corner [Ciri in the darkened tavern vision with Falka] That's me in the spotlight [Ciri being circled by no-hood Falka] Losing my religion [Ciri + fire magic + visions + visions of death + Falka?] Trying to keep up with you [Ciri fighting alongside The Rats in the tavern? Falka’s fire and fury and rage in her expression in the tavern.] And I don't know if I can do it [Ciri to Falka in the darkened tavern] Oh no, I've said too much [Ciri stabbing the guy / Ciri dissociating to become someone she needs to be to survive] I haven't said enough [Ciri’s face after she kills the guy / tells the Rats her name is Falka]
Messy vid outline is messy, sometimes specific and sometimes ambiguous. Likely to change or have happy accidents along the way.
#writing this all out is a nice way of coming full circle since i used to essentially make these kinds of posts in the form of emails#and send them to my beta watchers or cheerleaders while i figure out what i'm doing or what the vid wants to be#some other vids i really do not put this much thought into it.. or its a different kind of thought#the ciri and witcher feelings possessing me#other vids i do a lot more emotional freewheeling through the timeline running on vibes and a Single Visual Image to take#me through the song i'm likely obsessed with and listening to 600000x in a year#but ciri... oooo yeaaah i got them feelings real hard so here i am. sharing the creative process if that is of interest#mmmm vidding... such good way to soothe and relax my brain from everything else#naked vid draft#vid wip#my witcher vids#my witcher wips#viddingdora#the vidding process#the creative process#do it for the process#my vids#video edit#fanvid#fan vid#vidding#cir
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Sing Me a Song
“You Geralt of Rivia’s bard?”
Jaskier looks up from his notepad and grins at the man who’s just sat at the opposite side of the table.
“Technically, I used to be,” the bard says, taking a sip of his ale. “We had a tiny misunderstanding last year. I’m sure he’s gonna be fine, though, I’m just giving him some time to cool down and wallow in self-pity.”
Jaskier frowns, because his brain has finally caught up with his mouth and informs him that even though the man who asked the question is very pretty (and he is – a bit short, but lean and clearly very agile, brown-skinned, with dark, wavy hair and stunningly unnatural green eyes), he also has got two big, scary swords strapped to his back, way too many scars and has, in fact, only one green eye, the other being covered by an eye patch, presumably missing.
And then there’s the Cat school medallion on his chest.
As Geralt would say… fuck.
“Unless you’re here to kidnap me and torture me to lure him into a trap. If that’s the case, I’ve never met a Geralt of Rivia in my life. Also, if you harm a hair on my head, he will hunt you down and kill you, very slowly and painfully. Just a heads up,” Jaskier smiles, utterly failing to sound at least a little bit threatening.
“Thanks for the warning,” the Witcher laughs. “But I actually need you to write me a song.”
“Sorry, I’m afraid this bard already has a Witcher to praise,” Jaskier protests, shaking his head firmly.
“Ugh. Who says I want praise?” the man says, making a face. “I just can’t seem to find a friend of mine, so I need to make him find me.”
“With a song? Do I look like a fucking pied piper?” Jaskier smirks.
“A little, yeah.”
“Fair enough. What’s in it for me?”
“What do you think is going to happen once Geralt hears that his bard has found himself a new muse?” the Witcher grins.
“Oh,” Jaskier says, chuckling. “Oh, but that’s good.”
“Are you in, then?”
“Absolutely. And, uhm… What did you say your name was?”
“By the gods, where are my manners?” the Witcher laughs. “I’m Aiden.”
*
Geralt places two tankards of ale on the table and sits down with a grunt.
“Don’t tell me you’re getting old, Wolf,” his brother Lambert smirks and promptly pulls one of the tankards closer. “Because that almost sounded like Vesemir when he’s trying to get up from his chair.”
“You’re so fucking funny,” Geralt murmurs.
“I know, right?” Lambert grins, tucking a strand of curly red hair behind his ear. “So, how’s life on the Path without your beloved bard?”
“Not my bard.”
“So pretty fucking terrible, eh?” Lambert chuckles.
“Fuck off, Lambert.”
“You’re being very nice and friendly today, you know?”
“I bought you a drink. So shut up and… drink.”
Lambert shrugs and for once does what he’s told. Within a few seconds, half of the tankard’s content vanishes.
“If it’s any consolation, life without my Cat is also pretty fucking unbearable,” he says then.
“Hm.”
“Oh, really, Geralt? You’re using your famous hm against me? Me, your brother?!”
Geralt groans.
“By the gods… Why can’t I just run into Eskel for once? Why does it always have to be you?”
“You’re just lucky, I guess.”
“Lucky. Yeah.”
Lambert rolls his eyes and focuses on his ale again – until the local bard grabs his lute and starts playing a slow, romantic ballad. Lambert growls.
“Fuck, I hate that song!”
“Why?” Geralt blinks, because he’s never heard the song before, and to be perfectly honest, it doesn’t really sound that bad.
“A brown-skinned woman with dark hair who’s seemingly killed, then comes back to life already plotting her revenge, only to find out that her lover’s already avenged her? Always reminds me of Aiden.”
“Aiden wasn’t exactly… A woman, was he?”
“He also hasn’t come back to life, as far as I know,” Lambert mutters.
“Who wrote it?” Geralt frowns, listening carefully. “It sounds like Jaskier’s work.”
“Some Master Dandelion. Never heard of him, but it seems he’s very popular now.”
“Hmmm…”
“Oh, not again!” Lambert groans.
“It just… It really does sound like Jaskier’s song.”
“You just fucking miss the bard, Geralt, that’s all.”
“No. No, I actually think…”
“That might be exactly the problem,” Lambert says and places his empty tankard back on the table. “The second round’s on me.”
*
“Seems like your plan’s not working as intended,” Jaskier comments. He’s spent weeks traveling with Aiden, and they still haven’t even heard about another Witcher trying to find them.
“I’m aware,” Aiden mutters, chewing his dinner without even noticing its taste – which is, honestly, probably for the best. “Could you be, like… less subtle?”
Jaskier shrugs.
“I suppose.”
“Fine,” Aiden nods. “Do it.”
*
“It’s a man now,” Geralt frowns, listening to the song he’s heard countless times already. “That’s new.”
“Looks like Master Dandelion might like to, uhm, dual wield,” Lambert snorts.
“It still sounds like Jaskier’s work.”
“Does Jaskier like to dual wield?”
“Hmm,” Geralt says dreamily.
“All the more reason to apologize, then, eh?”
“Oh, shut up, Lambert…”
*
“Still not working!” Aiden groans. He’s been waiting for three months for his Wolf to find him, and to no avail.
“I could, you know… Try something more obvious,” Jaskier offers.
“Please.”
*
“It’s a cat now,” Geralt blinks. “Dark-skinned, dark-haired… cat.”
Lambert sighs.
“Yeah, I hate those fucking metaphors.”
*
“I’m starting to think I should have just… kept trying to find him,” Aiden sighs, staring out of the tavern’s window.
Jaskier, cheeks still flushed from his performance, downs his ale and shakes his head.
“Don’t give up hope just yet,” he says. “I’ve already made a few changes to the song.”
“Oh, have you?” Aiden smirks. “Does it now say Lambert, I’m alive you moron, stop hiding and fucking find me?”
“Well, not yet… But almost.”
“Great. I can’t wait to hear it.”
*
Lambert is staring at yet another local bard singing the fucking ballad. He doesn’t even blink. Geralt is getting a little worried that his brother’s brain might have actually exploded.
“It says a Cat Witcher now,” he says, hoping it would get a reaction out of Lambert.
The redhead finally blinks. That’s probably good.
“A Cat Witcher who comes back to life only to find out his Wolf lover has already avenged him,” Geralt adds.
Lambert blinks again.
“And you know, I’m almost sure that this Master Dandelion is just Jaskier’s new alias.”
“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Lambert mutters when the song finally comes to its end.
“Which one of them?” Geralt smirks.
“Both of them!” Lambert growls. “I swear to gods, if I find out your stupid bard stole my Cat…”
“Excuse me, madam,” Geralt says to the innkeeper who’s just brought them their dinner. “Where did your bard learn this song?”
“That sappy ballad?” the innkeeper frowns. “From this Master Dandelion himself. He passed through the town last week with a Witcher.”
“And Master Dandelion…”
“You know the bard that calls himself Jaskier? It’s him with a fancy hat on,” she smirks.
“About this Witcher,” Lambert growls. “Does he look like in the song?”
“Pretty much, yeah. Kind of small for a Witcher, and almost too pretty, you know, but we had a little griffin problem and he slayed that beast like it was nothing, so…”
“I’m so gonna kill them both,” Lambert murmurs while Geralt has to try very hard not to chuckle.
“Would you happen to know where were they heading?” he asks.
“I would,” the woman says and looks at the Witcher expectantly.
“I see,” Geralt sighs. “You have another monster problem, don’t you?”
“Well. It turns out the griffin probably had a mate…”
“Of course it fucking did,” Geralt nods and picks up his fork. He simply refuses to deal with this with an empty stomach…
*
Jaskier critically eyes the clothes he’s picked for tonight’s performance.
“What do you think, Aiden?” he asks his companion. “Isn’t the purple a bit too much? It’s a small town, after all. Wouldn’t the steel blue look better?”
“I don’t know, I like the red one best,” Aiden shrugs from his spot on the bed.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Reminds you of Lambert’s hair,” Jaskier says, rolling his eyes. “Melitele’s tits, I wish he’d find us already, because this is getting really–”
As if on cue, the door of the room slams open and a big, red-haired man walks in.
“You fucking bitch!” he yells when he sees Aiden.
The dark-haired Witcher beams and gets to his feet.
“Lambs!”
“Oh. Okay. That was fast,” Jaskier nods.
Lambert growls and grabs Aiden by the collar.
“Asshole!” he hisses. “I fucking mourned you!”
“Oh, honey, that’s so sweet,” Aiden smiles.
Lambert pushes him against the wall, so hard that Aiden grunts.
“I cried for you!”
“In my defense, it wasn’t exactly my fault,” Aiden smiles.
Jaskier inches towards the door.
“I guess I’ll just… leave you two to it.”
Needless to say, Lambert ignores him completely.
“I fucking avenged you!”
“Yes, that was very kind of you,” Aiden grins, utterly unaffected by Lambert’s angry face so close to his own. “You saved me a lot of trouble.”
Lambert groans, buries his face in Aiden’s shoulder and sighs deeply.
“You fucker,” he mutters.
“Yeah, I missed you too, puppy,” Aiden smiles, wrapping his arms around Lambert.
Jaskier, who’s already standing in the doorway, places his hand on his heart and takes a deep breath.
“Oh,” he whispers. “I shall write the most beautiful ballad about this… Ow!”
He’s unceremoniously dragged out of the room and this time it’s his turned to be slammed against the wall by a big, angry Witcher – but this one is white-haired and dressed all in black.
“Geralt!” Jaskier exclaims, his face brightening up.
“You won’t write a fucking thing,” Geralt growls.
“Is that so? May I ask why, dear heart?”
“Because you’re mine. My bard. And if I ever find out you’re writing about another Witcher again–”
“Then what?” Jaskier asks, cocking his head. “But before you answer, I’d like to remind you that I am not yours anymore, as you have made it quite clear on the mountain that you are not interested in having me as a companion–”
Jaskier is effectively shut up by Geralt’s lips pressing against his with determination that makes it absolutely clear that Geralt hasn’t merely lost his balance and happened to be falling in Jaskier’s general direction.
“Mine,” he growls.
“Well,” Jaskier sighs, slipping his fingers into Geralt’s hair. “When you put it like that… Fuck the mountain, I suppose.”
“Fuck the mountain,” Geralt agrees. “But I’m sorry. For what I said.”
“Apology very much accepted,” Jaskier laughs. “I’d ask you to fuck me, but I’m afraid my room is currently… occupied.”
Lambert’s loud moan only confirms Jaskier’s statement.
“Hm,” Geralt hums. “Do you think this tavern has a bath? I think I still have some griffin blood in my hair from last week.”
“Oh,” Jaskier purrs. “Oh, yes. And I’m sure I could get some chamomile oil…”
They hear another moan, this time Aiden’s.
“What are we waiting for, then?” Geralt grins and grabs Jaskier’s hand. “Come on, bard. We have some catching up to do…”
#the witcher#witcher fanfiction#geraskier#geralt x jaskier#jaskier x geralt#lambden#lambert x aiden#idiots in love#(but mostly they're just idiots)#aiden lived bitches#major character resurrection#they're stupid your honor#my fics#attempt at humor
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Prompt: Either out of embarrassment or being a little shit, Jaskier lies outrageously to Geralt about humans (on the level of “I’m molting” or “These? They’re rocks, to snack on.”) and might get away with it?
Hi Dahliavandare! I always love seeing you in my inbox. I changed this just a *teeny* bit. WARNING: VERY SLIGHTLY HORNY (it’s Jaskier, duh) There is also a little bit of angst because Jaskier gets sick.
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“Jaskier,” Geralt growled.
“What?” The young bard yelped. “I wasn’t even singing that time.”
“No, you just--hmmm.”
“I just hmmm what?” Jaskier asked, pausing in his near-constant strumming.
“You smell like...hmm.”
“I smell?” Jaskier said, both hands planted on his hips. “That’s pretty rich coming from you, my friend--”
“Not friends.”
“You smell like a barn. Anyway-”
“No, Jaskier,” Geralt said, running one, gloved hand through his hair. “Witchers can sort of smell emotions, right?”
Jaskier looked up at him, a sudden hint of anxiety in his scent. “I thought that was a myth.”
“Not entirely.” Geralt shook his head as if clearing a thought from it. “We can’t smell complex things, but joy, fear, anger...desire.”
Jaskier, for once, didn’t look at Geralt, studying instead the flowers at the side of the road. “Desire?”
“I-yes.” Geralt said. “And I wanted to know if all humans smell like...”
“Desire?” Jaskier said, then began talking fast. “Oh yes, of course, most humans, especially my age, well, they smell like this all the time. All the time. Naturally.”
It sort of checked out, at least to Geralt’s thinking. Young humans were horny, and although the overriding scent when Geralt was around was fear, he remembered being a teenager, with all the baggage that entailed at Kaer Morhen, and yes, constantly horny was among those memories. Jaskier himself was definitely still young by human standards, perhaps twenty or so from his youthful features.
Geralt chalked the horniness up to humanity and hormones and left it at that.
---
Later on, Geralt had other questions related to humanity, more specifically that part of humanity that included Jaskier.
“I thought humans couldn’t eat those?” Geralt couldn’t, he’d eaten one during training on a dare and spent the next day with his head in the privy.
Jaskier looked down at the mushroom in his hand. It was a beautiful, bright red, with little white spots. He’d been snacking on similar ones for the last mile or so.
“Of course we can,” he said. “Humans eat these all the time.” There was a rising tone in his voice that indicated something, but as Geralt had mentioned before, witchers couldn’t actually smell the more complicated emotions.
“They, um,” Jaskier said. “They just can’t be eaten by humans during-er- during summer. It’s fall now, so it’s okay.”
Geralt shrugged. What did he know of human biology? He wouldn’t be eating another of them ever, at any time. His stomach lurched a little just at the thought.
---
“You didn’t buy the ring.”
Jaskier looked up at Geralt, eyes bright in the sunshine. The bustle of the market around them pushed against him like a tide, but a little patch of space was left around Geralt. Jaskier stepped into the space. “The ring?”
“You liked it,” Geralt grunted. “I could tell.” It had been a little thing, cheaply made of poor materials, but the bard’s eyes had lit up upon seeing the little buttercup detailing, and he’d admired for several minutes, although without touching.
Jaskier shrugged. “It was made of iron.”
“And?”
“Human’s can’t wear iron, Geralt.”
“Then why did the man sell it?”
“Well some humans can wear it of course, those with very tough skin, but I’m delicate.” Jaskier sniffed.
“Humans...can’t wear iron?” It didn’t sound right.
“Not right up close to their skin,” Jaskier said. “It turns us, um, purple.”
Geralt shrugged it off. He’d once been called to a castle where a baron had believed himself cursed because his finger was turning green, but he’d simply been wearing a cheap brass ring.
---
After the first winter they met again in the spring something was definitely different.
“Your freckles,” Geralt said.
“What about them?” Jaskier said, looking away.
What about them indeed. They glimmered like chips of mica. At first Geralt had thought it a trick of the light, but no, there was a definite glitter to Jaskier’s skin.
“They’re...shining?”
Jaskier cocked his head at Geralt, cheeks shimmering. “Geralt,” he said slowly. “You know humans shimmer in the spring...right?”
Shimmer?
“I’d never noticed,” Geralt said. Admittedly he paid a little more attention to Jaskier than perhaps he ought, but still, one would think he’d have seen this before.
“It’s part of the growing process,” Jaskier said.
---
“Jaskier, your cheeks are red,” Geralt said, stepping out of the small bathtub the inkeeper had brought up. He stepped closer to the bard, still naked and dripping water, and pressed the back of his hand to Jaskier’s forehead.
“Nnhgh,” Jaskier said.
“Are you well?” Geralt asked, cupping Jaskier’s flushed face with his other hand. It didn’t feel like he had a fever.
Jaskier pushed his hands away, face even redder than before.
“I’m perfectly fine, Geralt,” he said, higher pitched than usual. “Human faces get red for no reason now...put on some pants.”
---
“Jaskier you’re drunk,” Geralt said. It was a pretty obvious statement, considering he had his bard draped over him like a shawl.
“Hehe, yep,” Jaskier said, reaching up with one, long finger and tracing Geralt’s jawline with it.
“You didn’t have any alcohol, I’m sure of it.” Jaskier normally had an extremely high alcohol tolerance in any case.
“‘O course not,” Jaskier said, leaning even more fully into Geralt’s hold. “Had milk.”
“Milk can’t get people drunk.”
“Milk can’t get witchers drunk,” Jaskier slurred. “Get’s humans drunk though, dunnit?”
“Can it?”
“Yeah, definitely, not the kids, but like, how often do you see, like adult humans drinkin’ milk?”
Not often, Geralt thought. He put Jaskier to bed in the inn and it was like pouring an octopus into a bucket. One loose yet gripping arm pulled Geralt closer to Jaskier, the bard leaned in and brushed soft lips to Geralt’s cheekbone.
Geralt wondered if it was another mystery of humans that the spot seemed to tingle all night and he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about it.
---
Geralt clutched Jaskier as the bard fell to his knees, groaning. His face was sickly in it’s palor and he was trembling. He’d just lurched up from the table at the inn and stumbled to the door. Geralt had followed him and the young bard had just collapsed like this.
“Jaskier,” he said, clutching a chilled cheek, his other hand seeking one of Jaskier’s. “Jaskier what’s wrong.”
“Lemon,” Jaskier whispered, lacing shaking finger’s with Geralt’s. “In the fish, there was lemon.”
“Lemon’s fine, isn’t it?” Geralt asked, slow heart racing as he looked into eyes that were becoming glassy and clouded.
Jaskier shook his head and it seemed to exhaust him.
“’S fine for humans.” He said. “Not fae.”
“Fae,” Geralt said, cradling his friend. “Jaskier you’re not making sense.”
“Mmh,” Jaskier said, smiling sadly. His face changed, his eyes going glow bright and his ears lengthening a little. His skin took on a slightly green tint.
Geralt looked into the face of his fae bard, rubbing a thumb over his cheekbone and the shimmering freckles there. “How do I heal you, you have to tell me.”
Jaskier blinked slowly, eyes dimming further.
Geralt shook him, desperation taking over.
“Jaskier what heals a fairy?”
What heals a fairy? He’d learned that at some point hadn’t he? Long ago. They were rare, and most witchers never saw one in their whole lives but if you could help one they’d grant you one wish, not tricks.
Poetry.
Fuck.
“Jaskier,” Geralt rasped, throat feeling dry. Those beautiful eyes blinked at him, slowly.
“I...I think you have pretty eyes,” Geralt said. “And I like when they, um, match the skies.”
Jaskier blinked at him in confusion, brow wrinkling slightly.
“You look pretty in blue,” Geralt managed, inventing wildly. “And look pretty in green. You look lovely in about every shade in between.”
Some of the deathly palor was fading from Jaskier’s face now and Geralt sought more words. “I thought you were pretty that day you wore purple,” he said. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, idiot he was an idiot, nothing rhymes with purple.
“I like your spirit, your moxy, your...your yurple.”
Jaskier was indeed looking better now, and he was smiling.
“I like the way you talk to me, and how you’re always there,” Geralt whispered. “I like the way you hum to me when you help me brush my hair.”
Jaskier sat up slowly, blinking in the dim light.
“I like the way you give treats to Roach, um, and I like the way you smile,” Geralt gulped at the look on Jaskier’s face. “But most of all I like how much I love you, so I want you to promise to, uh, stay? For a while?”
“Oh Geralt,” Jaskier said, cupping his cheek. “That was bad.” Then he kissed him and Geralt’s brain went very very fuzzy.
A little later, in their room in the inn, where Geralt was finishing the fish and Jaskier was having stew avec no-lemon-at-all, he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Jaskier tilted his head thoughtfully as he chewed a piece of potato. “Well, at first I wasn’t sure how you’d take it,” he said.
Geralt nodded. Fae were a feared and reverred group amongst humans, so caution was reasonable.
“Then it became a sort of game,” Jaskier said shrugging. “I couldn’t resist. So I left you little hints. I thought you’d figure it out for sure with the freckles or the milk.”
Geralt huffed a little sheepishly.
“I don’t care that you’re fae,” he said after a moment.
“I know,” Jaskier said. “And I don’t care that you’re an awful poet.”
“It worked, didn’t it.”
“It did, and now you get a wish, no tricks,” Jaskier held up his hand as if taking an oath. “I promise.”
Geralt thought for a moment. A wish from a fae was no small thing. It should be something powerful, something earth shattering and precious and rare.
“I wish you would kiss me again.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oop, here it is (after quite the wait, sorry about that) I’m actually so proud of this and it’s super sweet and fluffy.
#geraskier#fluff#creature Jaskier#fae jaskier#Roach borrowed the braincell and she isn't giving it back#the witcher#geralt of rivia
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Geralt: *gets arrested after arriving at the city, because he's a witcher*
Guard: Don't worry, the king's going to release you. He adores you. The arrest was just to calm the people down, they're a little scared of anything supernatural right now.
Geralt: Hmmm.
Guard: That's Jaskier, who you're traveling with, right? He's really famous around here. Heard he's very clever, sweet and sensitive.
Geralt: ...You may be right about the clever part. Maybe.
Guard: What, he isn't-
Jaskier, in the distance: LET ME THROUGH!
Guard2: I'm sorry, sir, we can't-
Jaskier: LET ME TALK TO MY WITCHER! I WANT TO SEE HE'S OKAY!
Guard2: We can't let you in there, you need to get arrested for tha- OWWW!
Guard 3: Alright, grab him.
Jaskier: *appears in front of Geralt and the guard, handcuffed and lead by two guards, one with a bloody nose*
Jaskier: *heart eyes* Geralt!
Geralt: *groans*
Guard: Did you just punch the guar- Did he just punch a king's guard, just to see you?
Geralt: Welcome to my life.
#witcher netflix#geralt the witcher#witcher#the witcher#geraskier#geralt z rivii#geralt/jaskier#geralt x jaskier#geralt of rivia#geralt x dandelion#geralt#jaskier#dandilion#dandellion#dandelion#gerald#geralt x julian#julian alfred pankratz#feral baby#feral bard#feral jaskier
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oh good god... also ty for blowing up my @ 🥰.okay... hmmm let's see.
On a Raven's Wing:
Meeting a vampire in a cemetery. How much more cliche can one get?” 👉 The last thing she heard before the cold seeped into her bones and she drifted off into unconsciousness was Yedret saying he would be done soon.
A 'special' shave:
"Ma-master Regis? There is ah— the-there’s—” A young boy’s voice stuttered out behind the barber, as the clippings of a fresh haircut drifted through the air like the first flakes of a coming snowstorm 👉 It would be my pleasure, Emhyr. It would be my pleasure.”
Happy Quack Day:
The gentle hum of his men’s voices downstairs was the first thing that greeted Geoffrey as he awoke. 👉 "I'm going to murder those two."
Accepting the consequences:
Regis sat quietly beside Geralt, whose shoulders were slumped, a nearly empty bottle of mandrake hootch in hand. 👉 One simply didn’t fuck another higher vampire’s mate without permission.
Created by Blood:
Dorothea had informed Odessa that she needed to leave early that night to return to Pembroke, something about a surgery the hospital's administrator wanted everyone to witness 👉 A smile crossed her lips as she just barely caught Jonathan's promise to protect her, before both of their bodies lie still, the warmth and life fading with the rising sun.
First and last lines
I was tagged by @definitely-not-iorveth, thank you, seems fun since you laughed your ass off... let's see.
Rules: go through your last 5 fics and share the first and last line. No context.
"Your Majesty, the minstrels are here." -> Emhyr pulled the bed curtains closed, smiling smugly.
The trip to Toussaint was a disaster from the start. -> The sun was rising.
The palace’s air was suffocating. -> His hunger was far from being satisfied.
"You want me to do what?" -> "Valid," Emhyr repeated with satisfaction and smiled.
Of all the complicated lovers Geralt ever had, Emhyr var Emreis was the worst. -> He underestimated Dandelion again... but that is another story.
Okay, okay, it IS kinda funny ;)
I'm tagging @valandhirwriter, @regis-favorite-raven, @jayofolympus and @bawdybean
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Hmmm a soft Geralt/jaskier/reader poly situation? Maybe reader’s tummy hurts or something cutesy like that
“Oh sweetheart” Jaskier coos, rubbing your back as you sit curled in his lap “I’m so sorry you’re hurting. We’re gonna help, okay?”
“Here.” Geralt says gruffly, holding out a cup to you “Drink this.”
You take the cup shakily, nose scrunching up when the grassy aroma meets your nostrils “It smells terrible”
“It’s an herbal tea, my love, it’ll make you feel better. Promise.” You only scowl at the bard, and he smiles sympathetically. “C’mon. Bottoms up.” He lifts the cup to your lips and tilts it back, coaxing you to swallow a few mouthfuls
Geralt gives your hair a tussle “Attagirl.”
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