#at this point i don’t feel too terrible

[yurinaa-world]

May i request love and deepspace boys with clingy!reader? Shes shy too!! In public, she'll hold onto his hand or finger and stays quiet but at home she becomes a yapper machine and also likes to plop onto his lap as she talks. Sometimes likes mindlessly squeezing and playing with his meaty bicep too :3

"𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶 𝓁𝑜𝓉"

💫𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈: Rafayel, Zayne, Xavier, & Sylus x Gender-Neutral reader

💫𝒮𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: with a reader who's clingy at home and mindlessly touches him

💫𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: Fluff, & Spelling Mistakes

💫𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈: I got sickkk 😫 this isn't my usual quality...I'm sorry (it had to be when it's my first post with the 4 lnds guys...Give me another chance!)

💫𝑅𝒶𝒻𝒶𝓎𝑒𝓁 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒜𝒷𝓎𝓈𝓈𝓌𝒶𝓁𝓀𝑒𝓇"

He eats it up, watching you act shy in public, grabbing the piece of his shirt or finger whenever you're in public. The second you feel like you're in a comfortable space he watches you unwind, holding onto him so tightly that he’ll just tease you. 

Your pretty self not wanting to let go of him, not even for a glass of water, straddling his lap, and arms wrapped around his neck, hiding in his neck. You're just begging him to tease you so badly. Yet his jaw just drops whenever you unconsciously touch him more. 

While you’re talking about your day, your hands unconsciously go to his chest. aren’t you so handsy? He stops in the middle of your sentence, teasing you so much even bringing up the other times you act shameless with him. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

After such a long day, you can’t help but unload everything you had been feeling the entire day, just going on and on while he puts on his irrelevant commentary—letting gasps and hums, you play with the buttons on his shirt before taking your hands away from his buttons, gently caress his chest while you talk about the climax of your entire day.

“You should have seen her, she was completely soaked and the owner didn’t even say anything even though it was his fault that it happened in the first place!” you chirped—your eyes shining so bright there might be little stars in them—leaning into his face to emphasize your point, he just gasps as if he were there experiencing it. “Oh wow…” he smiles back at you—it looked more like a sly lazy grin plastered on his lips.

“Yeah! And then…”

There you go again switching through topics so fast that he might just start taking notes to understand what you’re talking about. But feel his grin get wider, while your hands shamelessly touch his chest like a creep on the streets.

“If you’re going to shamelessly touch me, at least own up instead of pretending to tell a story.” He grins, snapping you out of your story with an accusation of your character. Your eyes go wide feeling embarrassment pool into your stomach, resulting in your cheeks becoming rosy red as your hands spring back.

“I didn’t mean to touch you like.” you stutter as if he were a cop, while he just enjoys watching you freak out. “You’re such a terrible liar, you’re always touching me, taking advantage of me just because I let you do it once” he sighs dramatically, pinching, and pulling your cheek as if he were an adult lecturing a child—in reality he would be the child…“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Don’t bother, I already know the truth.”

💫𝒵𝒶𝓎𝓃𝑒 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓈𝑒𝑒𝓇"

He lets you unwind, it’s good for a person to relax after a long day, and you it’s no different—maybe a bit more affection from him while he lets you grasp onto his arms.

Arms wrapped around his one arm while you talk about your day, with a large smile on your face, your body basically sinking into the side of his. He finds it amusing the way you act but what does he expect? You’ve always been like that; it's not like he hates it, he loves it.

He even lets you play with his tie, slowly untying it and fiddling with it as if we’re some kind of toy.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“I didn’t tell you about the craziest thing that happened today.” You realized, switching through topics so fast that he has to put his entire mind onto what you tell him, which he doesn’t mind, he’ll always listen to whatever you have to say. 

Your body against his, sinking into his side with your fingers fiddling with the tie as if it were a toy.

His eyes are loving to them while he listens to your voice with such attentiveness as if he were still taking a midterm exam back while he was a medical student. Just going on and on, telling every part of the story, before stopping to think of another story in the past. “Remember when we were kids!…” there you go again.

He’ll always find it adorable, a small plastered upon his gentle face from your hold speaks for itself.

 “Do you remember that?” 

“Pretty well, I remember another embarrassing thing you used to do, always holding and touching…seems that nothing changed,” he smiles at you, his hand going to withdraw your hand that was fiddled with a tie, his thumb gently rubbing your knuckles.

“Your touch still feels more like a medical exam,” he gently teased you, seeing your mouth agape made him love you more.

“Not that I dislike the feeling, I can’t go a day without it.” He reassures, bringing your hand to his heart, making you feel where his heart is.

“You can Continue speaking, I won’t stop you.”

💫𝒳𝒶𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓇 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝓊𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒪𝒻 𝐿𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉"

He just loves to listen to your voice, whether it be a childish story about what happened that day or a drama your friend/coworker told you.

Now it’s no different even if he’s dozing off, his head flinching awake while you straddle his lap. It's fine! He’s not tired! You should keep on talking!

Through his half-lidded eyes looking back at you. Your touches might be the thing that brings him towards the border of going to sleep and staying awake, how dangerous you are.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“And then she left her boyfriend for her boss,” you gushed, leaning into his face to exaggerate the story more while he looked back at you with his tired gaze, “can you believe it, Xavier? And you know what her boyfriend did!” you exclaimed, he can’t help but let out a yawn.

“What did he do?” he asked sluggishly, his arms snaking their way up your waist, he might just be going in and out of sleep, every time he slowly closed his eyes and opens to jump in between different stories or different parts of one long story, yet he couldn’t fall asleep, feeling your hands move around his body.

“Xavier, are you awake?” 

You gently poke his cheek, while he just softly groans before he pushes you into his neck, taking the chance to hide himself in the crook of your neck. 

“You can keep talking…”

💫𝒮𝓎𝓁𝓊𝓈 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒪𝒻 𝒪𝓃𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓊𝓈"

He’s very “attentive” to your little story about what happened in Linkon that day, with his eyes softly staring at you with that signature smirk. 

You have quite the hands, don’t you? He would think you were robbing him blind with your touches. Just feeling your arms on his bicep, his bicep right against your chest, even if he pulls slightly away, you just pull him back.

He can’t help himself but stare at you like, to the point you notice and stop your story under his gaze.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“So that’s what happened…” he hums, listening to your little stories, grasping tightly on his arm while you laugh at your own story, and the way your lips grin ear to ear. 

“Pity I wasn’t there to see that.” He murmured—the little voice in the back of your head tells that it’s probably not the story he's focused on, cocking his head to the side, watching you go off onto another rant. only for you to cut your story short when you locked eyes with him for too long.

“He…”

“Something wrong?” He tilts his eyebrow with a subtle smirk on his lips, watching your lips pressed together in nervousness. “Well…” you mutter, while he just laughs at your expression. 

“Go on, keep on talking, I'd rather not miss what you were telling me, keep grabbing my arm like that as well.”

if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!

[lady-harrowhark]

my 4.5 year covid-free streak has officially ended 😔

[evanbi-ckley]

He feels like he’s being weighed down. Like he’s under water or a heavy blanket. His limbs are heavy, and he can’t get his eyes to open. There’s muffled sound nearby, but he can’t make out anything coherent. He’s also really warm. Uncomfortably so.

Is this what death is like? Is he in Hell? Or something Hell-adjacent? Were all the fire and brimstone idiots he refused to give the time of day actually right about something?

But then the heat is gone and there’s a cool breeze that skims across his skin.

Does he have skin? Do people feel their skin once they’re dead?

He’s still debating with himself as he gets pulled further under.

~***~

What is that annoying, repetitive sound? Did he change his alarm? Why the fuck can’t he turn it off?

~***~

It hurts.

Why does it hurt?

He can’t even tell what hurts, but something fucking hurts.

If he could just open his eyes and get up to take some ibuprofen.

Also his nose itches. Why can’t he fucking scra-

~***~

“Fucking bees.”

~***~

He’s warm again, but it’s not uncomfortable this time. 

He feels safe. And alive. 

He doesn’t feel as weighed down anymore.

It’s difficult, but he cracks his eyes open. He’s - in the hospital? That’s definitely a hospital ceiling and hospital lights and hospital machines beeping.

He turns his head to the left - slowly - and sees his arm is in a giant cast. That explains why he can’t lift it.

He turns his head to the right just as slowly. He’s surprised to see a head of curly hair lying next to his hip, a large hand in his own. 

When he flexes his hand, the curly head pops up immediately.

The man looks at him with bloodshot eyes that clearly haven’t seen sleep in days. He’s young - not alarmingly so but certainly younger than Tommy. The stubble on his jaw has gone far past 5 o’clock shadow and has entered the realm of beard, making him look slightly older. But who -?

“Tommy?” the man asks. His voice is low and raspy, possibly unused.

“Uh,” Tommy says. His own voice sounds even worse.

Without hesitation, the man turns - without letting go of Tommy’s hand - and pours a cup of water from the pitcher on the table next to the bed. Then he brings the cup up to Tommy’s mouth, a bendy straw pointing toward him.

Tommy drinks slowly, his mouth feeling like parchment that’s been left out in the sun too long. 

“Thanks,” he says.

The man sets the cup down and says, “Yeah, so um, h-how do you feel?”

He thinks for a bit, taking stock of himself.

“Sore. Numb in places. I assume they’ve got me on the good stuff?” The man nods, a cute smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. “But there’s also the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen sitting next to me, holding my hand. So all told, I’m doing pretty well.”

The tips of the man’s ears turn pink, and a cute blush spreads across his cheeks. Adorable.

“You don’t have to flirt so hard, Tommy. You should know by now, I’m a sure thing.”

Ah, so -

“So we’re,” Tommy gestures vaguely with his head, “together?”

“Uh,” the man laughs uncertainly, “for about six months now, yeah.”

“Oh.” Tommy’s eyebrows shoot up. “But you’re so…” He trails off, not really knowing where he was going with that.

“So…what?” the man prods.

“Take your pick,” Tommy says. “Young? Pretty? Out of my league?”

“Sweetheart.” The man says it like they’ve had this discussion before, but he’s smiling. “Don’t try to amnesia your way out of being with me. I called dibs forever after our second date.”

Tommy smiles lazily. “Dibs forever, huh?”

“Yep. You’re stuck with me.”

Humming as if he’s considering the pros and cons, Tommy finally says, “I guess I can live with that.”

The man’s smile is blinding. “Evan,” he says. “Evan Buckley. In case you forgot.”

It comes back to him then - a cruise ship rescue in the middle of a hurricane, a basketball game, a kiss, a first date that ended terribly, more dates that ended perfectly, slow dancing in the kitchen, long nights together that ended too soon. A call during a bad storm, total engine failure, glass and fear and rain and acceptance and trees and blue eyes and a smile like warm sunshine.

“Evan,” Tommy says, pulling him closer. “Baby.” He kisses him softly. “I love you more than anything. How could I forget?”

Evan has tears in his eyes and leans their foreheads together when he says, “Don’t ever do that again. I thought I lost you.”

“I’m so sorry, baby. I thought so, too. I thought I’d never get to see you again. I’m so sorry.”

The next kiss is wet with tears - Evan’s or his own, it doesn’t matter. They’re here, and they’re both okay, and they’re together. That’s all that matters.

“I love you, too, by the way,” Evan says once they pull apart. “Can’t believe you waited to tell me until after you almost died, but I’ll take it.”

“I’ll say it every day until I actually die, okay?” he says. He gets a smack to his good shoulder for his effort, but they’re smiling too hard for it to have any weight.

There’s a long road ahead with recovery and therapy and stubbornness and frustration, but they’ve got this. They’ll get through it all. 

Together.

part 1

part 2

part 3

also now on ao3!

[chuuyascumsock]

Bury Beneath this Filth they Call Skin and Turn it into a Garden || MINORS DNI

Summary: I made a hurt/comfort fic for Chuuya, I might as well make a comfort fic for Dazai too cause he’s my soft spot.

Tags: Dazai Osamu/Reader, GN reader, Angst, Comfort, No One Is Safe, Mentions Of Self Sabotaging, Self-deprecating Thoughts, Mentions Of Dehumanization, Mentions Of Suicide Attempt, Dazai Highkey Has Bad Hygiene Because I Know He Canonically Reeks Of Liquid Ass (I Still Love Him But Honey—), Brief Description Of Self Harm Scars, He Takes Off His Bandages, Non-Sexual Nudity For A Bit.

Dazai doesn’t remember when you started to keep an extra pair of clothes in your bottom drawer just for him.

He doesn’t remember when you bought an extra toothbrush for him either, the item sitting in a small cup on your bathroom counter so intimately close to yours. He doesn’t remember when you started to stock your cabinets with canned crab or an occasional snack he had stolen from you before and said it tasted good. He doesn’t remember when you began preparing meals big enough for two. And he doesn’t remember when you started to look at him the way you do.

Those eyes that so fondly trace over every inch of his frame like he’s capable of being loved— like he’s not a silver-tongued beast of a man, his words filled with more teeth than his bite ever could. He doesn’t deserve it— he knows he doesn’t— so why does he find himself at your doorstep every time he fails his attempts in ending his miserable existence?

“You’re going to get sick if you keep this up,” You sigh out, stripping away Dazai’s soaked clothes until he’s shivering in his sopping wet bandages and boxers. “And you smell horrible every time…” Your nose slightly scrunches at the lingering smell of hydrogen sulfide and mucky water from the Yokohama canal.

“Whatever do you mean, dear? That’s just my natural musk,” Dazai gives a lopsided grin, attempting to lighten the mood. His grin falls into an uneasy look when he notices the brief side eye you give him as you toss his clothes into the washer.

“My water bills spike every month you do this, you know,” You point out blamelessly.

“Sorry,” Dazai mumbles with a weak smile. He always made a promise to try his hardest not to inconvenience anyone while making his attempts— making it up to those who he had done so with such as Atsushi. But he’s burdened you countless times, not realizing until now. Before he mentally promises himself to never return to you like a pathetic, mangy stray dog— you come into his view again.

“Don’t be sorry, but please come to me when you feel the urge to do these things, ‘Samu. I worry about you.” And Dazai can’t help but to immediately let his previous thoughts fly away. Who was he kidding? He’d never be able to stay away from you.

Your hands carefully reach to begin unwrapping the bandages sliding off Dazai’s body. Flinching, Dazai subconsciously moves a hand to stop you from taking his bandages off. There’s a momentary standstill between both of your movements as you look into his eyes with a reassuring gaze before his hand relaxes and falls to his side. It’s not the first time this has happened, but Dazai doesn’t think he’d ever get used to the feeling of having his protective cloth shed to reveal the myriad of scars that are engraved on this once blank canvas that humans call skin.

And when all is removed, you still look at him as you always had with an unwavering fondness that leaves him subconsciously leaning into you, yearning to be swallowed and drowned in your gentle affections. He doesn’t understand why you do the things that you do, such as loving him no matter how many times he tells you how much he doesn’t need you because it’s always been like that— lonely— or why you even put up with any of his shit for that matter. But you do. And he thinks he’ll never know why, because he’s terrible and doesn’t deserve what you do in return to his horrid behavior.

He slips into the tub without needing guidance, face tilting up to look at you without his usual charming grin, expression replaced with a quiet pleading, begging for any sliver of attention you can offer. And you give into his pleads, sitting by the tub while running a hand through his dark tangled hair before reaching for a washcloth to bathe him. There’s a lack of cheeky comments and flirting from Dazai as you rinse away the grime sticking to his tainted skin, his eyes flickering from distant to focused in a matter of minutes before glancing back over to you and melting further into your reverent touch.

Even after exiting the tub, he says nothing, allowing you to wrap a towel around his shoulders and place a tender kiss to his forehead. If this had been any other day, he would’ve teased you to no end about how you had to stand on your toes just to reach his face, but he merely softly smiles in mild amusement and lets you lead him into your room to get dressed.

He wears the extra pair of clothes you keep for him at the bottom of your drawer, shirt loosely hanging off his shoulders and pajama pants dragging along the floor each time he takes a step forward to follow you to your bed. He was used to sleeping on his futon, but he much preferred your bed and the comfort your body brought when he tangled his limbs in yours.

You don’t scold him either when he buries his face into your neck like you used to the first few times he had done so— complaining about his hot breath on your neck. Now, you reach a hand back to scratch your fingers through his damp hair in an affectionate manner, sighing out softly in what he can tell is contentment.

Even as Dazai drifts off, he can’t help but think about the irony of hating dogs as much as he does, yet he can’t help but love you like one.

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Through The Portal: Chapter 5

Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: Dipper learns more about Bill than what he bargained for. He also gets to know Y/n more than he thought. Stan mulls over his confession. Ford fights his own feelings for Y/n.

Pairing(s): Stan x reader, Ford x reader, Bill x reader, Mabel x friend!reader, Dipper x friend!reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, mentions of torture, PTSD, unrequited love, flashbacks, mentions of hopelessness.

A/N: The events and ideas are based on a theory I have about the Nightmare Realm. This is in no way canonically true, just my theories based on what we canonically know about the Nightmare Realm.

Dipper’s eyes widened at my words as I stated that Stan once lived with me. I no longer wanted to hide my past from the kids anymore, either way, they were going to find out. I had started to grow close with them and I felt terrible about hiding things from them. Having to tip-toe around their questions.

“How is that possible? Y-you look so young!?” Dipper pointed out.

“I may look young, Dipper, but where I was before I came out of the portal, time and gravity had no laws. Anything was possible. I’m actually around the same age as Ford and Stan, believe it or not.”

Dipper sat there with his jaw slacked, his mind filled with questions as they overlapped each other. I knew it was hard for him to wrap his mind around the thought I was the same age as his uncles. He sat there as his thoughts encouraged me to continue.

“After Stan was kicked out, I found him wandering the beach. He told me he was just living in his car and under good conscience I could not let him do that knowing I had a place for him. We grew close quickly. Then, when I got closer to getting what Bill wanted, I started pushing Stan away. Until, one day I was readying the machine for testing and got sucked inside. I had unspoken things I never got to tell Stan, and he did as well. He was angry he had no idea what happened to me.”

I was getting closer and closer to finally having everything I could ever ask for. Once my portal had passed the testing phase, I could finally give Stan everything he could ever want. I worked tirelessly on the machine, time passing as I became unaware of it.

“Y/n?” Stan’s voice echoed through the stairwell of the basement.

“Stan, what is it?”

“I made you dinner, it’s on the table if you want it.”

“Thanks. I’ll be up later to get it.”

“Y/n, what could possibly be so important down there that you can’t even walk up to get food?” Stan’s voice was concerned and worried.

I sigh, and stop what I’m doing. I head to the stairs where Stan is waiting at the top. I give him a soft smile as I make my way up to meet him. He gave a soft smile back as I met him at the landing.

“Okay. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to finish this project in time.”

“It’s okay, toots. I get it, but I want you to take care of yourself too.” Stan’s thumb rubbed my cheek bone gently.

I giggle and lean into his gentle touch. He was always so sweet to me, and I had to confess that I was growing more and more fond of him. Once I was finished with this invention, I wanted to dedicate the rest of my life to being with him.

“Growing close to him, aren’t we?” Bill’s voice echoed through my mind, “would be a shame if anything happened to him, wouldn’t it?”

“You wouldn’t dare!” I thought as Stan and I walked to the table.

“Get back to work, and I won’t hurt him. Besides, what happened to being mine? I don’t like sharing what’s mine!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll get back to work.”

“That’s my good girl.”

“I-I need to get back to work.” I state, grabbing my plate and rushing back downstairs, leaving Stan to wonder what just happened.

I worked harder than ever. Bill, peering over my shoulder now more than ever. He wanted to make sure I finished on time. Finally, the day came to prepare for testing, but something went wrong. I must have miscalculated as the gravity of the portal pulled me in. I gripped onto anything I could hold onto, but it was no use. I slowly slipped into the portal vanishing without a trace. I left Stan with so many questions, and an unspoken confession hanging on his mind.

“S-so Stan never knew what happened to you?” Dipper questioned softly.

I shook my head, “he must have thought I ran out on him. The last conversation I had with him, I bolted back to the basement as quickly as he got me out of there. Bill, he had a tight leash on me…he was obsessed.”

“D-do you know Ford’s connection with Bill?” Dipper asked, looking at a sleeping Ford.

“I don’t, sadly. He never shared that with me. He quickly found out mine, but it was hard to tell the connection he had.”

“Wh-what if we found out? Using this?” Dipper pointed to the helmet he was wearing that was reading his thoughts. 

His thoughts stated that there would be no harm, and we could help better. I took a deep breath and nodded in agreement. There was no harm, and Dipper then could help us defeat him. Dipper took the helmet off his head and walked over to Ford and placed it on Ford’s.

“Just a little peek. What are you hiding about Bill?” Dipper stated as he watched Ford’s thoughts appear on the screens.

Soon Bill’s image popped on the screen. His evil laugh echoed through the room. My body shivered hearing his laugh. I hated him so much, the things he did to me while laughing with that evil laugh of his.

More memories popped up. A new voice, one that belonged with whom I assumed was his assistant, and then Stan’s voice echoed through the room. Then Bill popped up again.

“He would trick or possess anyone,” Ford popped up, then a younger version of Ford popped up, “then it’s a deal, from now to the end of time.” He reached his hand out for a handshake.

Then Bill popped up again, his outstretched hand glowing with blue flames, “just let me into your mind Stanford.”

Their hands connected and shook as Ford spoke, “please, call me a friend.” Ford’s face appeared with Bill’s eyes, their voices intertwined as they laughed. I grew scared, was it possible for Bill to still have access to Ford's mind? “Ford and Bill!?” Dipper questioned in shock.

We turned around as Ford stood up. His eyes weren’t visible to us. I grew terrified as I realized that maybe Bill did still have access to Ford’s mind. Maybe that’s why he refused to erase my memory the other day. I had seeked refuge with someone still close to Bill, and that made me sick to my stomach.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Ford spoke.

Dipper and I slowly back up. Ford takes the helmet off, throwing it on the ground and reveals his shrine of Bill. My eyes prick with tears as I grow terrified.

“Why were you shaking hands with Bill? You said Bill could possess anyone so he could get this!” Dipper grabs the rift, almost dropping it.

“Careful! Hand me the rift. Now boy!” Ford shouts.

I place a protective hand on Dipper’s shoulder as we slowly back up as Ford walks towards us. I was in a state of fear. I felt like the room was slowly morphing around me. Keeping a hand on Dipper kept me somewhat grounded in reality.

“Why are you really scanning my thoughts?” Dipper grabs the memory gun, “are you Bill right now?”

“Now just-just calm down, p…”

“Pine tree! Is that what you were going to call me!?” Dipper kept the memory gun pointed at Ford as we were backed up into the computer screens.

“I was going to say please, kid!”

“Great Uncle Ford told us to protect the rift! Get one step closer and I’ll shoot. I’ll erase you right out of Ford’s head!” Dipper’s voice kept my mind from slipping away from reality. I felt my legs trying to buckle at the thought that Bill could be possessing Ford right now. I wasn’t prepared to face him yet.

“It’s me Dipper! It’s your uncle! Y/n, sweetheart, help me out here?”

“Get out of Ford’s mind you triangular demon!” I screamed, Ford never allied me sweetheart, that was Bill talking, tears streamed down my face slowly as I looked away.

“Trust no one, trust no one. Trust..” Dipper heard my fear, and started to pull the trigger.

“Hand it to me!”

Dipper pulled the trigger of the memory gun. The beam bounced around the room, as we all ducked. My legs gave out as I no longer felt like I had a grip on reality. Ford picked Dipper up by his vest and adjusted his glasses. It was truly Ford standing there. It was too late for my mind to rationalize that now.

The world around me was morphing. The room slowly turned into the Nightmare realm as I slowly began to hear that evil laugh. I covered my ears as tears streamed down my face. I felt a pair of arms lift me up gently and Ford’s calming voice spoke.

“Bill’s gone. He can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe with me dear.”

I started to calm down as my eyes opened slowly. I was no longer in the basement. I was in the room I had been staying in. Both Ford and Stan were standing there looking concerned. My eyes were still wet with tears as I slowly realized where I was.

“Hey ya, toots.” Stan spoke softly as my eyes landed on him.

Ford’s gaze turned from me to Stan as he spoke, “she’s been through a lot when she was in that portal, Stanley. This was the worst state I’ve seen her in.”

“Are you two going to tell me, or am I gonna be left in the dark here?” Stan looked at Ford with a stern look.

“She went through a lot that has caused trauma, post traumatic stress if you will. Her state of mind is always so fragile afterwards. The only way I’ve been able to get her out is to whisper that he’s gone, and she is safe.” Ford explained.

Stan came and sat down next to me, pulling me close, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea you had really been through so much.”

I curled into Stan, wanting anything to keep my mind from slipping back again. He cradled me gently, holding me there for as long as I needed him to. I had never realized the effect Bill truly had on me, but being in Stan’s arms made me feel a comfort I hadn’t known for a very long time.

“Th-thank you. Both of you.” I finally spoke up, my voice soft and hoarse. I must have been screaming.

“No need, toots. I’ve got you. I’ll always have you. No matter what.” I felt comforted by his words, but what he said next had my mind whirling, “I love you Y/n.”

[shallowseeker]

It took a lot for Dean to want revenge. Time and time again he turns away from revenge. Even in his reversal power/demon Dean arc, he does not reach for revenge per se.

At worst, he became a short-lived Rowena-esque figure, willing to kill Sam to have freedom. He rebels against all friends and family, almost like a test. Crowley verbally abuses him and betrays him, Sam hypocritically does terrible things but in the end loves him and lowers his blade to be willingly killed by him, and Cas too won’t raise a hand to him, only asking him to stop and not to murder the world.

In the end, it is Dean’s “human/angel” family that lower their blades to his rebellion, gently submitting as family must lovingly submit to each other. (This sense of family is why Dean entrusts the first blade to Cas, and it’s also how Dean tries to explain family ties re: Rowena to Crowley.)

///

But it was Chuck killing Jack that seemed to “break” Dean—kinda wild when you think about it. Jack also “broke” the best of Cas, twisting his “where you’ve been isn’t as important as where you’re going” into flirting with predestination.

Dean’s crisis/nervous breakdown was about Dean’s nihilism and the existential crisis, too, but it was also a lot about Jack. Jack’s death was so painful that Dean couldn’t even say his name; used “Bel” as code for having the conversation.

And when they got Jack back, they were so relieved, they just… went along with Billie’s plan. They wanted to “trust” Jack, so they trusted Billie.

It was odd behavior for both of them. They didn’t wanna rock the boat with each other or Jack, and they didn’t question. I still maintain I’d rather have seen them drop-drag fighting in the library rather than toasting each other.

////

But anyway, point being… I think, fandom tends to minimize how much Jack means to everyone, hyperfocusing on the “Jack is not family” of it all.

Dean was hurt. He wanted payback, he wanted poetic justice, for Chuck to be killed by his own grandson. Dean gave up the gun after Mary’s death, but the death of Jack was so painful, it had him buying into revenge. Dean has never wanted revenge.

Jack was family, and Dean saying that Jack wasn’t was a way to steel himself and deaden tremendously painful emotions. Rowena and Sam trade more in this kind of dissociation in order to carry out heinous missions, and I think it just feels odd for people to see it coming from Dean. Sundering Jack from family was a coping mechanism.

But truthfully, Jack’s death was the ultimate thing that “broke” Dean. And Cas.

Cas was raised that to care about something, it had to be cosmic mission—to be important. So he is constantly putting his loved ones on pedestals to justify his own caring/emotions. He’s “allowed” to care if it’s a mission.

Cas partially recovers in 15x18: “We don’t care about you because you’re part of some grand design.” But it’s too late; Jacks bomb was lit and detonated. So, Cas fights death on his behalf.

Dean was raised that to care about something, you lay down your life for it; it’s your mission to protect them. Jack is stronger than Dean, always has been, he defeated Michael when Dean was too weak to do it. This time, Dean told Sam they were going to, “get out of the way.” If family must be protected, then Jack “is not family.”

Dean too comes to his sense in 15x18: “Hey, hey, hey, we're not giving up on you, okay? (to Sam) Uh... magic. Magic. One of Rowena's spells. Come on, we've got to do something!” But it’s too late; Jacks bomb was lit and detonated. So, Dean fights death on his behalf.

[ok555ficideas]

Rereading one of my fics ( Help me remember ) and decided to spread more of my Neil & Aaron friendship agenda. Here are them bounding over their mothers

“Sometimes I’m glad she’s d*ad.”

Neil could hear the sadness and guilt in Aaron’s voice. He knew exactly how Aaron felt. He took a deep breath and voiced his own guilt out loud. “I’m glad mine is d*ad too.” Aaron looked at him again so he continued. “She was not that bad. Way better than my father, that’s for damn sure, but seeing how my life had turned out, even if I don’t remember all of it, makes me happy and I know that I would have never gotten all of it with her still alive.”

“My mom used to dr*g me when she didn’t feel like taking care of me.” Aaron said a little louder than the rest of their conversation.

“Mine beat the sh*t out of me when I kissed a girl once.” Neil said and couldn’t help but laugh a little. “It wasn’t even a good kiss.”

Aaron lougheed as well. “She used to kick me out when she had one of her boyfriends over. I had to sleep on a bench in front of our apartment building.

“She used to make me do fake emergency drills at two a.m. just to see if I would be prepared for a real one. I had to run around without a coat in the middle of winter in Canada one time, because I was too slow for her liking.” Neil added.

They were both full on laughing at this point. None of what they said was funny. Far from it, but somehow Neil found peace in the laughter. He felt understood. He felt like he didn’t need to explain himself. He could say all the terrible ways his mother f*cked him over and say that he had never loved anyone more in span of few minutes and it wouldn’t be met with judgment.

[mya-valentine]

Headcanon: Cyno and Tighnari Sharing an S/O

Balance of Opposites: Cyno and Tighnari have very different personalities, which creates a unique dynamic when sharing an S/O. Cyno is more stoic, serious, and dedicated to his duties as General Mahamatra, while Tighnari is practical, witty, and highly knowledgeable as a forest ranger. Their S/O loves how they balance each other—Cyno’s calm and strength with Tighnari’s intellect and humor.

Cyno’s Protectiveness: Cyno, on the other hand, is incredibly protective of both Tighnari and their S/O. He may not be as vocal about it as Tighnari, but his quiet, intense loyalty is always felt. He’s the type to stand guard while Tighnari and their S/O work in the forest, ensuring their safety. When the three of them are together, Cyno is constantly aware of their surroundings, watching over the people he cares about most.

Teasing Tighnari: Tighnari is often the one to tease both Cyno and their S/O. He’s quick-witted and enjoys playfully pointing out the odd quirks both of them have. He might casually tease Cyno about his terrible jokes, saying things like, “You really don’t need to subject *both* of us to these puns,” but secretly, he finds it endearing that Cyno tries so hard to amuse their S/O.

Shared Moments of Peace: Despite Cyno’s seriousness and Tighnari’s focus on practicality, the three of them often find peace in simple moments, like sitting together under the stars after a long day or sharing a quiet meal in the forest. Their S/O brings a sense of calm and warmth to both Cyno and Tighnari, allowing them to relax and enjoy the time spent together.

Friendly Rivalry: Cyno and Tighnari have a playful, friendly rivalry when it comes to winning over their S/O’s attention. Cyno, though not as vocal, might use his competitive side to try and one-up Tighnari during their conversations or in card games like Genius Invokation TCG. Tighnari, meanwhile, knows how to charm their S/O with his vast knowledge of plants, animals, and the environment, making Cyno roll his eyes but smile fondly all the same.

Cyno’s Awkward Affection: Cyno isn’t great with showing affection openly, but his S/O and Tighnari have learned to read between the lines. His small gestures, like offering his cloak when it’s cold or silently standing closer during dangerous situations, speak volumes. Tighnari might even joke about it, saying, “Cyno’s version of saying ‘I love you’ is standing like a silent bodyguard,” but it only makes their S/O appreciate Cyno’s subtle ways of caring even more.

Tighnari’s Playful Flirting: In contrast, Tighnari is more forward with his affection. He loves to gently tease their S/O and Cyno, brushing his hand against theirs when talking or casually wrapping his arm around their shoulders. He’s also the one most likely to break the silence with a witty remark or joke, lightening the mood whenever things get too serious.

Shared Responsibilities: With their S/O, the trio finds a way to share responsibilities and maintain harmony. Cyno’s leadership and strategic mind, paired with Tighnari’s practicality and deep knowledge of nature, create a strong team. Their S/O loves how they can rely on both of them in different ways, whether it’s Cyno’s calm assurance in dangerous situations or Tighnari’s advice on practical matters.

Gentle Moments of Care: Both Cyno and Tighnari have their own ways of showing care for their S/O. Tighnari, as a forest ranger and healer, is naturally more attentive to their physical well-being, always making sure they’re well-fed, hydrated, and healthy. Cyno, though quieter, is always there with a steady hand, offering a reassuring presence and making sure they feel safe, no matter the circumstances.

Affectionate Competition: Sometimes, Cyno and Tighnari get into playful disagreements over how to best care for their S/O. Tighnari might insist that their S/O needs rest, while Cyno believes they’re ready for more action. Their S/O often laughs at the two, appreciating how much they care, knowing they’ll always have two very different but equally supportive people by their side.

In the end, the balance of Cyno’s protectiveness and Tighnari’s humor and care creates a fulfilling, dynamic relationship. Their S/O is the anchor that brings them together, making their trio stronger than the sum of its parts.

[horizon-verizon]

Nettles is Daemon’s daughter and absolutely no one can convince me otherwise. First of all, her personality is incredibly similar to Daemon’s mother, Alyssa, which I don’t think is a coincidence. Both are anything but refined and ladylike, Alyssa is “as bawdy a wench as any barmaid in King’s Landing, as she herself was fond of boasting”, Nettles is “a filthy girl with an even filthier mouth”, both are tearaway tomboys, they are both described as not conventionally attractive, Alyssa has a broken nose and mismatched eyes while Nettles has a scarred nose and crooked teeth. And not only Alyssa, but also Baelon’s bravery, bopping Balerion on the nose, Baela and Daemon’s personalities all echo in Nettles, particularly in how she tames Sheepstealer. There are too many similarities between them for it to be random.

Second of all, if we look at Daemon’s reaction to “Rhaenyra’s” letter, there’s something a lot of people miss:

The prince greeted me politely, but as he read I saw the joy go from his eyes, and a sadness descended upon him, like a weight too heavy to be borne. When the girl asked what was in the letter, he said, ‘A queen’s words, a whore’s work.’

He was happy when he got a letter from his queen and wife, but became very sad when he read its contents, he was crushed with grief. He then blamed Mysaria for the content of the letter. This reveals several things:

1. If he lost attraction to Rhaenyra and was cheating on her, why would he be happy to get her letter ?

2. If he didn’t care about Rhaenyra, why would he be sad instead of angry ? Why did he feel no guilt or shame, or try to cover up the truth if he was cheating ?

3. If all he wanted to do was control Rhaenyra as a puppet, if he only cared about himself having power, why didn’t he fly back to King’s Landing after letting Nettles escape and come up with a way to gaslight Rhaenyra, who at this point was beginning to lose her handle on King’s Landing ? Wouldn’t he have wanted to prioritize winning the war ? Persuade Rhaenyra to name their son Aegon heir instead of Joffrey ?

4. A “weight too heavy to be borne.” That isn’t the reaction of a man who got caught cheating and regrets it, it’s the reaction of a man devastated that his queen and wife lost faith in him and made him choose between her and his daughter.

He blames Mysaria for the letter, instead of getting angry at Rhaenyra herself. Why is that ? Because he lived with Rhaenyra in an unconventional joint family for a decade and yet Rhaenyra is unable to accept Nettles and doesn’t trust him anymore. Rhaenyra and Daemon raised all of their children together. He likely expected that he’d be able to officially introduce Nettles as his daughter after the war. But those plans were dashed terribly.

Yeah, it's exhausting to point out all of the things you say abt Mysaria, Nettles, and Daemon time and time again over the past few years to people. As for Nettles being Daemon's bio daughter, I truly believe in it. At first I was like "🤨" but then "🤔" and now I've been on board for a while. It just makes sense to me, esp when you contemplate that Daemon absolutely would have been sleeping around on Rhea while a few feet/miles from the Stepstones or slept with some pirate or whatever. And yes, it adds so much to see Nettles act Baela-Daemon-like or have more...room to behave contrary to the ideal "lady" when she's had to look out for herself perhaps from very young childhood.

[trans-androgyne]

“it’s crazy how many people hate cats. consistently, without reason. ” “so you don’t think people hate dogs? you think everyone loves dogs and that no dog has ever been abused? this is so ignorant of the dog community” “no i didn’t say that, i was just talking about cats—“ “but you weren’t talking about dogs. so you hate dogs and think only cats are hated.” that’s what you sound like

Cats: “It’s crazy how many people hate cats. Consistently, without reason. This must mean dogs have privilege over us”

Dogs: “You’re right that’s awful and I want to support you, but people hate us too? It just looks different but it isn’t a privilege. I can give you examples”

You, specifically: “Oh my fucking god it’s always about you, isn’t it, can’t you ever shut up for two seconds and stop making shit up you whiny hysterical bitch”

That’s what you sound like :)

[isthatafuckinggayangel]

I wanted to continue this thing that I wrote for @cod-dump (hope you don’t mind me tagging you lmao), just kinda expanding upon the concept of Nik being Soap’s father and getting into more of the meat in the idea, so here

~~~

Explaining to Ghost and Gaz everything that had gone on between Nik and Soap, their relationship and all, was exhausting. The number of questions they had took forever to get through and made Soap think a little too hard about what why his mother had caused this.

At the same time though, it made him realize he needed to call her to get all the information straightened out here. He needed to know why she did it. Why she separated him from his father.

So, a few days after he had gotten everything sorted with Nik and the team was on the same page with everything, he made the call. He had both Ghost and Nik sit in on the call with him, he couldn’t get himself to do it without some support and he needed to have Nik there to make sure any lies didn’t slip passed him. The trio were sat around the dining table in the common room, Nik and Ghost on either side of Soap. He pressed the call button and made sure it was on speaker, holding it in his left hand still.

“Tha e math cluinntinn bhuat a-rithist, John. It’s been too long since ye called!” She answered the phone with.

“Sorry ‘bout that. It’s been quite busy out here, so I haven’t had the chance.” Soap rested his forehead in his palm and Ghost ran his hand along his upper back in a soothing motion.

“Is there somethin’ goin’ on, a chuilein? Ye sound a bit upset.”

“Yeah, um, I’ve been thinking a lot and had a few questions fer you, if that’s alright?”

“Of course, it is! Ask away.”

He took a deep breath then went for it. “Why did you tell me my da abandoned me?”

There was silence on the other end. The seconds stretched for what felt like forever.

“Well, that’s because he did. He made it very clear to me that he didn’t want to speak to any of us, and as much as it pained me, I knew we had to respect his wishes.”

Soap saw Nik’s fist clench out of the corner of his eye and looked up, seeing an expression of barely concealed rage. Soap set his phone on the table, reaching over and grabbing his father’s hand to try to help calm him.

“Ma, do you remember what he does for work?”

“…What do you mean, John?”

“I need you to be honest with me. Why did you lie?”

He was met with more silence.

“I dinnae lie, John.”

“Ma. I’m givin’ ya one more chance to be honest. I need you to take it.”

“I don’t understand, I’ve been honest-“

He let out a sigh before laying it all out. “I met him again, Ma. Ye seem tae have forgotten what he does fer work. We work together now. I read his journal, ma. I know what you told ‘im. I know you lied to both of us. So why? I just wanna know why you did it.”

“It’s a very complicated situation-“

“Bullshit. I know a complicated situation when I see one, and this is not one.”

“John-“

“Не лги нашему сыну, Elspet.” Nik growled. He’d clearly had enough of her avoiding the question she’d been asked.

“Nikolai, I-“

“You will answer the question the boy asked. You will not disrespect him or diminish his intelligence by acting as though you do not understand what he is talking about.”

They were once again met with silence. Ghost moved closer to Johnny, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and holding him against his side.

“I was tired. Your father’s job took a toll on me, on our family, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. The entire time you were away from me, every summer, I was so scared his job would follow him home and I wouldn’t know because you were so far away. I needed to have you close to make sure you were okay. That you were safe. I couldn’t think of anything else to be able to do it.” She paused. “Look at where that’s gotten us now. You enlisted for the same damn job and now ye work together. Guess it couldn’t truly be avoided.”

Soap was seething. While he understood being afraid for your child’s safety, he couldn’t get passed the manipulation. The lies. The fact that she didn’t just explain that that was the problem. He could have kept up with phone calls, letters, something so he wouldn’t lose his father. And yet, this was the decision she had made.

Nik squeezed his hand and Ghost hugged him a bit tighter.

“John?”

A deep breath. “Thank you for your honesty. I’m gonna need some time to process all that. I’ll call you again soon, yeah?”

“Yeah. I love you, John.”

“Love ye too, ma.” He hung up the phone and rested his head against the table. “Christ, that sucked.”

“Are you alright, love?” Ghost asked.

“I’ll be alright eventually. Just gonna need some time.” He picked his head back up and looked over at Nik. “You alright? Cannae exactly be easy for you to hear either.”

He gave a light nod. “I’ll be okay eventually, малыш. It will take time, as you said, but it will be fine.” He squeezed Soap’s hand again and Soap did the same back. “У нас все будет хорошо.”

~~~

Translations

Tha e math cluinntinn bhuat a-rithist, Johnny. -> It’s lovely to hear from you again, Johnny.

A chuilein -> my lad

Не лги нашему сыну -> Don’t lie to our son

Малыш -> little one

У нас все будет хорошо -> We will be okay

Apologies for any incorrect translations, the Gaelic is done with google translate and the Russian is a different translation app, so chances are there’s something wrong with it. Let me know if you have any corrections on it!

[arolesbianism]

Welcome to the “they’re just like me fr (derogatory)” club featuring no color because I would rather die than draw Sif with color

[danielnelsen]

things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs

like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something

[chilapis]

Last post before I crash and no-one hears from me until I return from my first final the morrow’s eve (a changed man no doubt) but there’ll never be anything funnier to me than consistently being viewed as a composed and calm saviour by peers while I’m, actively and uncontrollably losing it.

[cavity-collector]

i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit

[m--bloop]

.